#lowkey have been thinking about it for like 10 years now and its coming back up to the surface again lately

[bbeelzemon]

[stays up until 3am hyperfixating on gender self-reflection]

[cocoatonedcurls]

become an academic weapon 📚🔫✨

hi all !!

with my GCSEs this year, and only a few weeks before back to school, I decided to really lock in yesterday 🫣

so I thought I'd take all the info I've come across while scrolling through studytok and put it into a little post for everyone looking to improve in their studies (& for my benefit as well 🙈)

motivation

this is probably the biggest factor when it comes to locking into your studies, motivation can quite literally make or break your academic achievements (😦)

so, its very important you motivate yourself, and moreover, stay motivated 😭

i've made it sound daunting but motivating yourself is lowkey easier than you think, here's a few ways to do it:

picturing yourself in 10 years, where all your studying and hard work has paid off - you can't be that person without doing the work that they did 😬

you can also do the opposite of the above - imagine how disappointed you'll be if you didn't work as hard as you could have and failed

"revenge studying" - the most toxic yet probably the most widely effective technique - working hard so you can beat than the people who are better than you

make studying aesthetic - create pinterest boards, look at quotes and tiktoks, make success your greatest desire

make it an addiction - if you're bored? study. had a bad day? nothing like setting yourself up for the best future. having a great day? go make it better by making yourself smarter.

get a motivational study app - i LOVE 'Study Bunny' I've been using it for two days now and it genuinely motivates me to be more productive to keep my bunny happy 🙃

resources

obviously, you need some help where you can get it despite all the controversies surrounding studying and the use of the internet, there are some amazing online resources you can use that will actively help you 📚

Quizlet/Anki - both of these flashcard platforms are incredibly useful - Quizlet is a fun platform and you can search for flashcards made by other people - Anki, in my opinion, is better than Quizlet for memorising, and you can import flashcards from Quizlet.

Mindnote - A mindmap making software online, a user-friendly interface + is quick and easy to make them - Great for visual learners

YouTube - the teachers on YouTube are incredibly helpful and can explain any topics you're confused about very quickly and very thoroughly

Spark Notes - great for English literature, with in-depth analysis of your texts and modern translations

Physics & Maths Tutor - free past papers and topic questions for core subjects and a few others, great for active recall

Study Bunny/Flora - helps keep track of your progress and keeps you motivated, I recommend Study Bunny because I can see how much work I've done of each subject and tick off things on my checklist

these are just a few out of many other resources so go do some of your own research, especially if there are websites that help with a specific subject

techniques

different study techniques work best for different people, no technique is a one-size-fits-all, some people are visual learners, others perform best by memorising & etc.

active recall - the only one-size-fits-all method - is a cognitive function that you carry out to remember things in tests, so practising this is a must -> the best way to do this is by completing topic questions and past papers using minimal amounts of notes. basically just testing yourself before the actual test

Spaced-out revision - one of the best ways to make sure things stick in your mind, revise a topic/subject and revisit it every few days, eg. 1, 3, 5, 9, 15, 30; and by the 30-day mark it should be stuck in your mind because your brain believes its something that you need to know in the long run and stores it in your long term memory

Flashcards - great to memorise content for the test, especially subjects that are tested with orals

Scribble method - scribbling on a piece of paper while revising the content in any form, reading, listening, etc. helps your brain store the information you're consuming more effectively

Feynman method - basically just explaining the topic you're revising to someone, this helps you develop your understanding and catches out any areas you're unsure about to revise later

making mindmaps - this is great for visual learners, especially if you use different colours for each section of the map so that you can associate each concept with each colour and recall them easily

again, those are just a few that come to mind. do your own research and find out what works best for you 😇

while studying

knowing how to study effectively is also a crucial aspect of success (obviously) 🤭

here are a few tips:

don't listen to music with lyrics, instead you can listen to lofi tracks, cafe/library asmr, brown noise, jazz music (my favourite)

set yourself a study slot, like 2 hours every day at a specific time & set a focus filter on your phone for the duration of your study time

make an aesthetic/cute study space so you can enjoy your time in that space and it doesn't feel like a chore

get a whiteboard to make learning more interactive & fun

light a specific candle whenever you're studying so your brain knows to associate the scent with working

have regular breaks eg. every half hour for 5-10 mins

reward yourself afterwards, so you associate studying with a good experience

consistency is key, the more you study the easier & more fun it becomes 🙃 the more you study the more you are likely to succeed and fulfil your dreams ✨

remember though, academics is not everyone's thing:

"you cannot judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree"

everyone is good at something, and it doesn't make anyone lesser or greater 🫶

if you try your best, that is all that matters 🫠

- li 🌘

[one-strugling-bean]

So.

I finished the 4th season (MAG #160)

......I'm unwell

(part 3 of my Magnus Archives experience)

Ahhhhh where do i even start???? Ok, ok I think I'll start with the lesser things

First off, right off the bat, RIP Tim. More than ever, now I know he didn't have to die and I am so so sad he did..... Flirty boi deserved so much better u^u

Martin collected many moments of badassery throughout the 3rd and 4th seasons. Im so proud of his growth. Not him burning statements and snipping back at Elias - ahhhhhh he was so coooool, I wish someone else was there so that they could tell him! And when he made Fairchild sit back down to finish answering Martin's questions, I swear I got chills!!

Anyway. I continue being a fierce Martin fan, nothing new there

What is new is my newfound adoration for Daisy. Seriously. She's my baby now. Idc what happens or who dies, she needs to end this story okay :'))))

No, im 200% serious, if Daisy doesn't survive to the end, im def going to cry. Because i can totally see her being the "sacrifice herself so that everyone else will have a chance" type.

I swear she was the only one holding the brain cell power this season –  and FINALLY, someone who's not Martin is not being a bitch to Jon!!!

I wasn’t even expecting Jon to be able to bring her back. Much less for them to become supportive avatar besties! I’m so glad the writer decided to take that turn with her. It’s really satisfying from a narrative standpoint to have Daisy of all people do a whole 180 on her standpoint with Jon.

Idk, i just really liked her this season. She deserves all the hugs. So she gets a meme :)

Basira, on the other hand, fell a bit for me, but i think that was kind of the point. She was fierce and stony and nearly zero compassionate, – very Gertrude-ish of her –  but after everything that’s happened, i can't really blame her :/

Im just here praying to everything that the cop ladies can get a modicum of a happy ending

And just so I round up the gang, im scared for Melanie... She is now blind and also has (had?) a monster as a therapist. And Georgie doesn't feel fear which makes them even less likely to sense danger if it comes for them. I hope they're able to push through whatever season 5 throws at them

Okay. So only Jon is lef now. What can i say about him tho?? I mean, i can say he's been going through it.

Like, I spent my whole time hearing this podcast lowkey making fun of him for collecting beatdowns from pretty much every character - AND IT TURNS OUT IT WASN’T EXACTLY JOKING MATTER AND WAS ACTUALLY PLOT RELEVANT??

WHAT IS THIS SORCERY AND WHY IS IT MAKING ME FEEL BAD FOR VOICES ON MY PHONE??

I just feel so bad for Jon. The guy did not deserve all of this. He really was a lamb to the slaughter—a poor wet cat, an eternal damsel in distress, the Antichrist…?

That last statement from Elias/Jonah is so good tho. Like, objectively. I love it. Not only does it take the listener in a nice little trip down memory lane - nostalgia is always fun - but its also just. So evil.

They really gave us such a sweet start – Martin and Jon bunking together in a cabin in Scotland(?) seemingly happy and it's all "uwu, they sho cute, yada yada- and then BAM!! APOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN!"

(i could literally be here for hours coming up with titles for Jon. he makes it too easy.)

Elias though...... I was spoiled that he was Jonah Magnus halfway through season 2 or so, so the reveal wasn't a big deal for me. I wonder how shattering it was for listeners when it first dropped though... At least he upped his villainy cred this season. Suits him better than the "unbothered neutral/evil stand-by" vibe he gave before.

And one last character thing, I fell in love with Peter so quickly. His lines were all gold and his delivery even more so. He just had that unflappable vibe to him. Like he didnt have a care in the world.

Oh, and him and Elias totally had ex-wives who spent the last 10 years fighting about who gets what in the divorce energy.

No, i will not elaborate.

Uhhhhh yeah. I grew to appreciate Helen more and more every time they showed up. Simon Fairchild was surprisingly fun for an old man, Gerry deserved the freaking world (thank you so much Jon for burning that page) and i think that’s kinda it on my favorite “creatures and associates”

Im super excited for this last stretch. i wonder if TMA will stick the landing. I sure hope it does, and honestly trust it will.

Anywayyyyyy, off i go for those last 40 episodes. Wish me luck!

Finish testimony, or whatever

[spacehostilityy]

NNT Rewatch s2ep1-6

(This was written weeks ago but was in my queue. I am moving back to my college town Saturday so busy days are to come but now I have things to procrastinate 😈)

So YAYAYAY time for season 2 (my fave season overall) !! I’ve rewatched this one before, so i actually remember some of this lol

Ban: I quit

Meliodas: your face is the only joke we can handle

HE GOT HIS ASS DAMN

i love both of diane’s orange fits, but s1 leotard hits different

i have thots abt the introduction of power levels that will be told beneath the cut

i mean it’s all very dragon ball (which i love, but in a very different way). I feel like they are just better executed in manga format, because saying the numbers out loud just kinda breaks up the flow of dialogue and action. Plus the numbers never stay accurate since the characters are always powering up and nakaba lowkey just stops using them at one point. so like assault mode!Meliodas has a power of 142,000. BUT he defeats enemies with powers higher than that and is shown to gain even more power. But this is the highest number we have for him. Overall, theyre clunky, not updated enough to be accurate, and just kinda cheesy :/ I feel like plot could have been added to justify and explain the eye of Balor (AKA Drole if i remember correctly) but it’s just used as an excuse to quantify the characters’ strength since this season is mainly focused on physical and emotional growth, as seen by the Ishtar Arc (one of my fave arcs hehe)

merlin’s friendship with hawk is actually so cute tho

so Meliodas’s beginner stats (still missing his powers) are magic 400, strength 960, spirit 2010. The way I see it, his insane spirit strength could mean one of two things: bitch is just hella determined in his quest to end their curses and protect his friends (likely) or merlin taking away his power only affects his strength and magic since spirit has to do with your mind (also likely) anyway what do y’all think?

how the fuck is gowther’s strength 500??? The average person who can lift 50-100 lbs has a strength of 30. HOW IN THE FUCK?? IS GOWTHER SECRETLY SWOLE????

Meliodas being like “no idk who the ten shadows could be haha” when he and merlin literally formed the sins to fight them and HE WAS THE LEADER OF THE 10 COMMANDMENTS is so funny like so tru king lie to their faces

the first thing Zeldris says is “3000 years... please tell me that he’s still alive” which tells me two things: 1) he doesn’t know about Meliodas’s curse, which could explain why estarossa kills him when he’s just going to come back a rival to the throne of the demon king and 2) the listed life expectancy of 1000 years for demons is probably not accurate lol

maybe it’s driven down due to number of battle deaths like the mortality rate of the middle ages lol

we are introduced to a demon who hopes mel is alive, shares a voice actor, AND HAS THE SAME FACE yeah the brother coding is very thick

AJSDBJKBHJEBFNWKFH YESSS THIS IS MY ALL TIME FAVE INTRO SONG AND ANIMATION

ban’s refusal to get jericho’s name right makes me laugh every time

Jericho: is scared and runs to Ban

Ban: 🤨 yeah. i don’t remember asking you to grab my arm🙄

im sorry but king rlly was a bad fairy king like mans didnt even know the forest was there 😭 its ok tho i love that for him

King hating Ban at first bc he “killed elaine and destroyed the fairy kings forest” only for Ban to pull THE BIGGEST uno reverse on him will never not be funny

wait does that mean ban is technically the 4th fairy king and king is both the 3rd and the 5th bc that would be rlly funny and does happen quite a bit historically

I love how as much as a smug asshole Ban is, he’s not rubbing it in King’s face and is showing him he’s still his friend

so if Gil is Margaret’s guard and Griamore is Veronica’s, does that mean Howzer was Elizabeth’s ?? bc that would be so fucking funny

Helbram got King’s ass with “and you’re short”

KASBDFNJBSDKF HE LOOKS SO GOOFY😭

MY BABYGIRLS ARE HEREEEE

Best girls Melascula and Derieri fr

i love that they said slader is gay, how can we let the audience know and then gave him the smoothest, gayest voice imaginable

merlin calling og gowther a great magician when we know he was the one to train her is actually so sad, i want to give baby merlin a hug

slader is hot, thanks for coming to the ted talk

how the fuck does he walk like this tho??

is there a reason i just don’t remember why they never really bring up albions again or do they just ~disappear~ conveniently from the story lol

So the whole concept of sacred treasures is really cool to me because they are clearly something unique to the Sins, despite all of the sacred treasures being very different and made of different materials. I mean Gowther’s is straight up made of light Still, them having weapons that serve as a constant and grow with them as they become more powerful is just a neat concept to me. I just wish we could have seen Ban use Courechouse more than just a few episodes. There really isn’t a plot reason he couldn’t have had it beforehand.

Gerheade being a bitch to Ban bc he’s a human makes literally no sense when we learn her backstory with Rou. Like NO sense at all lol

I honestly love that Meliodas destroyed the albion on his own. Like yes, he is my OP blorbo BUT he’s also supposed to be incredibly powerful in canon, which we haven’t seen him go all out with an enemy yet. Not only does he know all about albions (bc he’s a demon), but as leader of the 10 Commandments, he probably was on the controlling side of the golems. Then, as a member of Stigma, he fought against them. Not to mention, this is when he finally gets Lostvayne (the DEMON sword) back. This moment for me is when he gets to show off the perks of him being a powerful and high ranking demon. Might fuck around and do a full post later on Meliodas’s relationship to his own race and what/who he is lol

Ban screaming “you bitch!!” is... a wonderful experience

Yass king (hehehehe get it? bc his name is king? hehehe)

Galand petting Gloxinia is actually so cute lol

Merlin covering Arthur’s eyes 😭😭 she’s his mom fr

“its been a while meliodas” oop galand just let the Meliodas is 3000 years old cat out of the bag ehehe

(stay with me bc im about to get delusional) WAIT so galand says “to think that after all this time has passed youd still be in that form” in this essay i will prove that Meliodas looks like a young teenager because he essentially is biologically young for the demon race. Galand doesn’t know Mel was cursed, so he would think that he had aged in the past 3000 years. Plus, I think the demon king’s possession of Meliodas AND Zeldris can be (somewhat) compared to Sariel’s aging up of Solaseed. Anyway, i feel like this can support my hypothesis of Zeldris and Meliodas are just babies who will eventually look like adults. Also, I think them being super young just enhances the angst quite well.

everyone is fucking terrified of galand but hes just a silly foolish little fellow to me lol

ban and king being brothers-in-law makes my heart happy like theyre so cute

Ban threatening Gerheade and actually being pissed and serious has suddenly reminded me that if i saw a grown ass man who couldn’t die and was a 7 foot tall violent alcoholic i would be fucking terrified

like a demon 14 year old? creepy ig but not a 7 foot tall masochist with an 8 pack

I love how hard Diane always goes for the ones she loves, she’s just so devoted and passionate Best Girl tm behavior

*Merlin being incredibly confidant and nonchalant starting a proposition*

Meanwhile Merlin’s thoughts: SHIT SHIT I HAVE 10 SECONDS TO THINK BEFORE EVERYONE I LIKE DIES

Meliodas doing the same thing Hendy did by reattaching his fucking arms using Darkness and the sins still being like wait?? is Meliodas?? a... demon ??? 🤨

okay so we DO see him in this mode again. But what is it called? and why does he become no thots head empty? its not like he died. and even in assault mode, he has thoughts and emotions (when they’re not stuck in purgatory) 

Im ngl, i forgot everything about this episode entirely lol

obvi i hate that derieri died, but at least the souls she fucking ate got returned lol

do we think arthur has a tiny teenage gay crush on meliodas? Discuss.

(the answer is yes ehehe)

gowther walking around with his dang a lang swangin hehe

Gil crying in annoyance and defeat as griamore and howzer bicker is literally so hashtag real

HENDYYY MY BABYGIRL IS BACK BAYBAYYYY

very suddenly realized that Hendy’s probably only like in his 30s. Mans is just not that old

exactly 3 seconds after I had that though Howzer calls him old man LOLLL

i forgot about hendy’s childhood trauma. damn. thats actually rlly sad :/

look how cute he is tho 😭😭

hendy and dreyfus are in love. thanks for coming to another one of my ted talks

so do we think dreyfus is half druid (and zaratras is full) or zaratras is half druid? i mean they’re half brothers but only one is a called a druid sooo

IM SORRY BUT THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SCREENSHOT ASDFFHSLDH elizabeth scandalized, meliodas accepting his fate, slader leaning in closer and blushing ITS JUST SO GOOD

The ass shot of Diane 🤨😑

Damn Idk how i never realized that all of them pretty much only call Meliodas captain. Merlin, Ban, and Elizabeth are the only ones who will call him Meliodas, but even merlin and ban typically go with captain.

“im a giant, why arent you afraid of me?” hes a fucking demon. lol

[intertexts]

oh god i just realized I forgot to send you this. behold: the worst trivia ask out of all of them:

EPISODE 22 TRIVIA:

- they spend the first. 9 whole minutes talking about the logistics of snapping someones neck irl only to learn that its not actually possible and thats just something that was make up for movies

- "this is the most guy talk we've ever had at the beginning of a rolled. i feel like we need a trigger warning for boys"

- bizly wanted them seeing tide again to feel awkward and weird! like you're going back to your parents house after not seeing them for a really long time

- talking about how dakota has so many parental figures now and grizzly goes "except for ms. g. she has my whole heart" and WITHOUT missing a beat charlie goes "no. *i* have your whole heart"

- there was apparently a group of people on twitter who made a VERY long VERY well researched document about how all the medical stuff esp involving william would work and kept tagging bizly in posts asking how things would work and hes like "man i dont know!! i write a silly superhero show im not a doctor! it all comes down to his parents built a very strange machine that was designed to view worlds unseen!" (<< quoting the dp theme song in the most EXASPERATED voice possible.)

- "WILLIAM WISP SHOULD HAVE FUCKIN WORMS IN HIM. if we were playing this realistically william would be fuckin LOCKED UP with rigor mortis and COVERED in worms and FULL OF GASSES. he should be FOUL. and FULL OF WORMS. and I DONT WANT THAT" << hes a coward for this. btw. i feel like william should be grosser

- they just keep saying more things about how william should be so grotesque. at one point charlie goes "please dont draw this. its so gross". me, looks at my 4/7 jrwi freak week canvases that are william wisp themed. um. well.

- WARM BODIES MENTION. i love that movie. charlies like "thats how i want william to work hes undead but hes like. pretty about it"

- bizly: "because we've already explored this plot thread of William Being Dead so much, i dont want him getting a heart to just automatically fix that. its not like hes just magically alive now. i havent thought of the exact consequences yet but i want there to be some drawbacks to this to keep things interesting"

charlie: "william is just thrilled right now to be feeling stuff. i dont think hes considering the possible drawbacks"

- "ive never been prouder of any of my characters than when william wisp dented drywall"

- "why didnt vyncent get a fun surgery too" "because I'm a coward"

- they were on some absolutely insane energy for this rolled they keep going on like 5-10 minute long tangents and BARELY talk about the episode other than to mention how william should be a rotting corpse. I REMEMBER NOW that this was a SIGNIFICANT factor in my being frustrated with the heart surgery thing LMAO

- THATS IT. THATS LITERALLY IT. THE ROLLED IS OVER NOW. THIS WAS NOTHING !!!!!

TERRIBLE rolled youre right!!!!! help!!! this is so funny. great rolled guys lets wrap it up. william should be wormy and u cant snap peoples necks. good job everybody. it is really funny to me that people were... expecting medical accuracy?? how do u really seriously research putting one guys heart and another guys blood inside a body that's been dead for several years. frankly i would love to see it i'm very curious.

LOWKEY I'M GLAD HE *ISN'T* A BLOATED LOCKED UP DECAYING CORPSE!!!!! PERSONALLY!!!! i fully respect ur rights and taste to think he should be rotting and worm filled and stinky but frankly i'm on charlies side w this one. hes undead and pretty about it <33

anyway. i still have many thoughts about wiwi's soul/body/wisp relationship that i will NOT start talking about now because it would get LONG. but. its always great hearing their thoughts on it. eyes emoji. but yeah i really don't want him to be just magically fixed and alive now.... we'll see!! we'll see how it goes!!!!

[photogrivy]

Ivy could think of worse ways to spend her afternoon than curled up on her bed with an army of kittens wrestling all around her. Admittedly, she almost had been trapped into spending the following afternoon in a much worse scenario; third wheeling an awkward Not Date with her best friend and his 10-year-long situationship. As it worked out, Max was a life saver in more ways than one, meaning she’d be dodging that bullet fairly smoothly. Still, she kinda wished she could just spend it in her apartment with the furballs. Maybe she’d have to see if she could convince Max to come back to her apartment – as friends, obviously – and meet the babies. 

While Ivy knew her own love life was in absolute shambles, and her commitment issues were proving to be her greatest downfall, she couldn’t quite wrap her head around whatever the hell it was Wardo and Louis were doing. Sure, they had a lot of history, and the last time hadn’t ended so great on either end, but ten years had passed. They were both new people, to an extent, and it was pretty clear to anybody who knew them that they were still in love. She didn’t understand why they couldn’t just talk, like actual grownups, and sort their shit out. But, for whatever idiotic reason, they couldn’t, so instead she had to sit by and watch her extremely intelligent best friend turn into a socially awkward nerd who couldn’t string a sentence together when faced with Louis, who was suddenly acting like a sixth grader kicking his feet, twirling his hair, and giggling at every other word that came out of Wardo’s mouth. Lowkey, it was kind of exhausting. 

As she scrolled aimlessly through her phone, Ivy found herself giggling as Wardo Jr nuzzled against her jaw, his hair tickling her nostrils, causing her to cringe away from her furry baby. Shooting him a playful glare – one much gentler and kinder than would have been bestowed upon Human Wardo, no doubt – she dropped her phone down onto her duvet and pushed herself up into a seating position. Just as she was about to scoop him up into her arms, however, she groaned. Just behind Wardo, the kittens were wreaking havoc, no doubt exactly what he was trying to draw her attention to. 

She wasn’t sure why he couldn’t look after his own damn kittens instead of lounging around like some deadbeat dad while Helen was out on the fire escape scoping out potential new Baby Daddies, but it seemed this was her lot in life. 

“Hey, scram!” Ivy called out, leaning across as she expertly scooped two tiny kittens into opposing hands.  

At 5 weeks now they were old enough for her to pick them up without any real concern, and still tiny enough that they fit perfectly into the palm of her hand. Setting them back down on opposite ends of the bed, she moved towards another kitten, who appeared to be scrapping with himself – or so she thought, anyway. 

“Oh my God, you rat bastard,” Ivy sighed, wincing as she watched one of the kittens try to wrap its tiny mouth around her book. Considering that she wasn’t much of a reader, she knew immediately which book it was, and given who she was expecting to call around soon, she didn’t think it would go over too well if she told Louis that one of his potential children had tried to sink their teeth into his first draft copy of Christopher Street. 

Snatching the book up and away from the feeble claws of the kitten, she tossed it onto her bedside table and shook her head fondly. Helen had given birth to a litter of 7 kittens, and each of them already had come with a whole lot of personality. With the exception of two – the last ones to arrive, the runts so to speak – they all had so much energy for creatures so small and, as much as she loved them, Ivy was looking forward to the day some of them could be taken off her hands. It was practically a full-time job looking out for them. It had been clear from day one that Helen had chosen her favourites, with the two smallest being overlooked, ignored and bullied by the other kittens – and Ivy practically fighting with their mom to ensure they got a healthy amount of nutrients and love. 

While she knew there was no point naming the kittens when they weren’t all going to be sticking around, she had nicknames in the back of her mind for most of them, just to help her tell them apart. The ginger cat chewing on Louis’ book was Shit For Brains, while the two that had been scrapping – both tortoise shells – were Cunty and Sixteen (the latter on account of the fact that he had a weird knack for unlocking her phone and sending keyboard smashes to Max in the middle of the night). The biggest one - practically identical to Wardo Jr in every way imaginable – was Sasquatch, and then there was Raff Jr who was the grumpiest of the litter. She wasn’t intentionally naming her cats after Raff and his wife, obviously, but he was short-hair brown kitten with a perpetual scowl on his face, so what else was she meant to name him? 

That then left the two smallest – the outcasts of the group. She didn’t wanna make assumptions, but Ivy was pretty sure that they would be Louis’ favorites, not least because they were her favorites. Small as they were, they were mighty, and they’d fought for five weeks to keep their place. Ivy was kind of obsessed. She’d never admit as much out loud, but she’d secretly named them Sadie and Lee. Those names meant absolutely nothing to anybody, so she figured there was no harm saying them out loud, but it felt like a dangerous game. Sadie Lee was the name on her birth certificate, the one given to her after her birth mom had abandoned her. She hadn’t kept it, nor had she told even Wardo that any name other than Ivy Rogers existed, but she’d never forgotten. 

A knock sounded at the door, and Ivy padded across her apartment, a trail of kittens now at her heels. Crouching down, she scooped Sadie up onto her shoulder, confident that she’d be able to settle there safely – small as she was – and pulled the front door open, revealing Louis Denver on the other side. 

“Dude,” she grinned, gesturing around her. “I have a fuckin’ army of kittens, man.” 

[ryssherry]

little do we know. part 2

After you came back from meeting Jill, Chris was standing in front of your door. You knew something was up and you need to heard it out from him.

Chris Redfield x female reader

Context: fluff, proposal

PART 1 IS HERE 

https://www.tumblr.com/ryssherry/723288951966793728/little-do-we-know?source=share

------------------------------------------------------

“Got some time?”

You eyed him with tired expression on your face. You just came home from breaking Jill’s heart and now you need to face Chris in the flesh. You thought you need a break from this.

But how can you refuse Chris?

You sighed. “Yeah...come on in.” you said as you opened the door. 

“Thanks.” Chris took of his boot and let himself in. He put the foods on your kitchen island while you hung your and Chris’s jacket on the coat rack and told him to make himself at home. 

Chris sat on the stool after setting up all the plates and cups for both of you to feast. Somehow in the corner of your heart, you felt relieve. Actually the tightness in your chest vanished as soon as you saw Chris in front of your doorstep. You just wanted to crash yourself onto him and cried on his chest uncontrollably.

And you knew if you did that it will only grow him a worry.

Plus, Chris sure does know you were hungry. The messing thoughts in your brain may disappeared after you fill up your tummy. Well, its though being a woman and you still didn’t have a proper dinner even after you went out.

“Come here. Let’s fill your grumbling tummy,” Chris said, teasingly as you were making your way to the island and took a seat in front of him. You gave him a death stare while he smirked.

“Did I disturb your activity tonight?” Chris asked since he didn’t text you beforehand that he was coming. You particularly didn’t know how to react either to say no or yes because you like it when he is around. Chris made you feel safe and comfortable but now you were a bit tired from the day. 

“No...not really I just planned to make myself a simple dinner when I’m home. By the way, thanks for the food though.” you smiled, appreciate his action.

“Not a problem.” 

You and Chris opened all the boxes that full of Chinese takeout. You couldn’t wait to taste some of the orange chicken since you didn’t even remember when was the last time you ate it. You rarely had it due to the distance from your home...or you just forget it exist.

“Oh, I forgot to ask. How long has you been on my doorstep? Why didn’t you text me first?” You questioned. Chris scratched the back of his neck, feeling embarrassed with his manners actually.

“Don’t worry. Its not that long. Just about 10 minutes worth seeing you at least. I didn’t text you beforehand because I thought I could make a surprise,” he lied in his first sentence. You curious about his words but you didn’t plan to ask him further when you were now dead hungry.

“What made you came here all the way? I thought you were busy,” you plated some fried rice into his plate. He seems delightful when you did that, thinking you prioritized him first. 

“I just wanted to see you. It’s been a while since I got my not so called ‘holiday’ so...yeah. I made some plans before coming back to base.” he explained as he poured orange juice into your cup. Lowkey you started to think that you were like a husband and wife, taking care of each other. You snapped yourself out of it quickly.

You grinned. Happy to heard about his idea and he acted like you hadn’t see him for years even though you guys last met was 3 months ago. 

“You sure wanna stick around me don’t cha?” you teased him back with a laugh. Chris let out a chuckled with you too which lighten up the atmosphere.

“You caught me red handed Ma’am.”

You shook your head along with a smirk on your face, feeling unbelievable to his joke.

“Dig in big guy.” you invited him. 

Chris and you ate and exchanged stories about your days. Chris let out his dissatisfaction about his latest mission and sometimes bragged about his skills to you. You laughed your heart out, entertained with his stories. He looked so passionate talking and making his mouth moves which sometimes left you amused.  

And deep down in your heart you realized how your talks with Jill and Chris were really contradicting. You thanked God for sending someone like Chris to brighten up your mood after your incident with Jill. You head felt lifted.  You were wiping the table clean after you had your feast when Chris suddenly asked you question that made you stood in silent.

His broad back was facing you while he washes the dishes in the sink.  “What was that?” you asked him back, worry if you had mistaken what you just heard. Chris dried off his hand and leaned over, his hands crossed on his wide chest. “I say... do you mind if we discuss something? I-I mean about us.” you looked Chris into his eyes. You thought you saw something in it which tells you that this is serious.  “Us?... yeah...sure,” you replied and both of you sat on your couch. Chris sat just a few inches away from you which you thought that you were in delusional when you can feel Chris’s body heat. 

You sat facing him and observed his behavior. “What is it Chris?” you spoke softly as you didn’t want to scare him. You put your hand above his, trying to reassure him.  Chris flipped his hand and grab yours instead, squeezing it slightly.  “I need to be completely honest with you. I cant wait any longer or any other day not telling you this. Not when I need to be back to the base in a short time.” he explained.

Your eye didn’t leave Chris’s face. He looked worry or...nervous? You can’t tell.

“Y/N, I love you...” he paused. Your eyes widen.

“This feeling had been so long since the first day I saw you with Rebecca. You are stunning in the way I can’t describe because I only feel it when you are around. You are an amazing woman besides all that I knew. Your soft heart, your savageness,” he smiled softly “and you. I...love you for being you, Y/N. You had me since the first time we met. So, please...” now he took your hand close to his chest, looking at you.  “...would you be mine?”  

That was when you didn’t know to expect the question or to be surprise with it. Chris squeezed your hand again which made you back to the earth. You looked down on your knees and then quickly turned your head to him, touched with what he said. Oh God, what do you deserve to get a man as sweet as Chris? You let out your breath for a second and smiled “What make you think I will not accept you Mr. Redfield?”  You chuckled a bit to calm him. He grinned ear to ear. His face was as red as a beet, happy to hear your answer.  “Really? Did I do something that you accepted me easily?” He still hold your hand. You put your head on his shoulder, smiling too.

“What easy? I had put a lot of test on you before this. Its just you who not notice,” you joked with him. 

“Really? Then I must be smart enough to pass all of your test, sweetheart.” He pinched you cheek playfully. The surrounding taste so much lighter and loving for both of you, spending your time with him and he claim you to be his before he needs to go for another mission. He was afraid that someone would take you way, especially from Carlos when he could see that he might have interest in you.  “Wait, wear this.” Chris suddenly pulled out a velvet box from his back. You just watching him and waiting in curious. A ring? But the box was a little bit big to be so. He opened the box and your jaw dropped.  “A bracelet?” You said in disbelief. You saw a glamorous silver bracelet with moon chain sparking with diamond. Chris stared at you with admiration and took the bracelet off the box and wore it on your left wrist as a sign of belonging. Your other hand cup your mouth as your tears started to drop one by one.

‘Seriously Lord what did I do to deserve him’ you cried in your heart.

“Chris...” your voice cracked from crying. Chris shushed you and caressed your hair lovingly. His eyes never left you with love.

“I bought the moon charm because it reminds me of you. Whenever I was on the mission, the moon is always there like its never left me. You had been on my mind for so long and I know I wanted to cherish you, protect you and to give you all of me even my bones to you.” Your foreheads touched and you still crying, melted from hearing his words.  “Y/N, I promise you to take a good care of you. To be with you and grow old with you and I sure will propose to you properly when I got back. Next time, with a ring.” He kissed your temple and you bit your lower lip, trying to hide your smile in his chest.

“Chris, you don’t have to.” You wiped your tears while shaking your head. He done enough for you. “This is enough,” you tried hard to smile when your face muscle become sore from the tears.

“And we don’t have to be in rush. I will always be here...waiting for you to come home. To me.” This time you had your lips to beam which made Chris chuckled.

“Its okay. I am more than willing to give you more,” he helped wipe your remaining tears on your cheek and chin. Your face was red and heating. 

You then hugged him with the most tight hug you ever give to people as if you don’t want to let go. He put his hands around your waist and hugged you back. You can feel like his soul and love just flows through your body. 

The worst day ever just turned into the best one in a second.

“I love you, Chris.”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

[ecofear]

It makes me sad to see that the state of fandoms right now (gestures vaguely at all the fandoms...sigh) puts you off form feeling and sharing your enthusiasm and love for the games and media in general

because i absolutely love seeing you be very happy an enthusiastic about things!

its always a delight to read your opinions on things! no matter though its always so much fun when you share enthusiastically about your current interest and it fills the dash regardless! its so delightful to see it always because simply you are a delightful person!

wahhh thank youuuu T_T.........

i think i'm pretty lucky in that southern reach doesn't.. doesn't have a fandom. like, at all. it has fans, and we're all like navigating the space around each other and sometimes interacting for sure, but it's not a fandom AT ALLLLLL. which i really like. the media itself is so up for interpretation that there's absolutely no way fanon could even form, too, we celebrate this series with our different opinions, that's the beauty of it.

hell, someone on the subreddit made a post saying it feels like magic to them and that the crawlers sermon is a magic spell. i'd never even considered that before! fucking ace, i think, that someone could think about it so differently to me. and i know... tumblr fandom doesn't really like stuff like that, and kind of agrees on one thing together that becomes canon (fanon) and that's that....... it's very interesting.

and i think if i ever get into something big again (kinda scared i'll really like datv actually) i'm just gonna have to be the strongest bitch i have ever been and CURATE to a strong degree....... so please don't nobody i like put terrible things on my dash and engage in the drama because i don't want to have to take you out back and put you out of your misery (unfollow you) but i will... i will..... i gotta . for my sanity

it is kinda funny that you say 'right now' though because i don't think it's ever changed much. a big fandom is a shit fandom no matter what, i think? like i was huge in the dragon age fandom before dai came out, i was an alistair blog.. pretty good times.. i also really liked fenris...... i............ i liked fenders a lot....... i don't really retain that part but i still like alistair and fenris hehe, and the fandom sucked SO BAD especially coming up to dai release that i DROPPED it, i didn't even play dai for YEARS and then i didn't finish it UNTIL JUST BEFORE BG3............... the fandom Killed it for me, lowkey doing it now for datv too, just........ ough. i was also in the supernatural fandom we don't talk about that.

but man i think the art of fandom is finding like. a few people, maximum like 10 people, who are normal but unhinged but ultimately normal, who u can create a tiny pocket with, a mini fandom if you will, that emulates media with no fandom at all.... BASICALLY JUST FRIENDS BEING FRIENDS WHO LIKE THE SAME THING. beautiful in its simplicity.................... that's what i need and want for me......... tried my hand at fandom again with bg3 after years and years out of it and yeah. i am not a fandom person. i am unhinged in the dms with my friends person. and that's ok

I WILL TRY TO STILL BE EXCITED ON THE DASH THOUGH because i am a yapper. which is funny cuz i'm not. idk if you know but i'm semi nonverbal irl, i can go weeks without uttering a single sound, but online i do not shut up. maybe it's a counter. maybe i don't shut up here cuz i can't talk irl. maybe. fascinating, that. someone should study me. in a gay way. anyway

THANK U FOR BEING NICE IDK WHY I RAMBLED SO MUCH???????????????????? my chronic pain doesnt exist rn (i'm lying i'm getting sore which is why i'm shutting up) and my broken finger feels pretty good so typing a lot feels pretty great ... thank u for being nice to meeeeeeeeeeeeee

[bambaooo]

30.

I know for a fact no one is on here anymore, but doing this has been on the back of my mind for about a week or so.

But I just turned 30. My last almost 15 years of life have been recorded to some extent on here. From my 20s to now my 30s life has been fucking nuts. From going to feeling invincible, to feeling that like everyday is a new challenge of what im going to go through. I remember in like elementary school and middle school, i was like embarrassed of being on the younger end for my class. I would always lie and say that i was born in 93 instead of 94. Such a weird thing. and before i turned 21, i wasnt pressed on going downtown to the bars and clubs cause i know when my time came it would be fine. But gdamn, my 20s are gone. I cant help to reflect on the life ive lived. From college, to my first real job, first time living on my own money, relationships, covid, grad school, and to the last major things of buying a house and getting engaged. like what tf am I doing, in the back of my head im still that one kid that eats a shit ton, works out alot, and smokes hookah. But in reality im not that person anymore lol. i used to be very resistant on change but, i know its inevitable but it does still bums me out a bit. I think it bummed me out before because up until recently, ive been very deprived from my friends. I felt bad reaching out, and I felt like i was being a burden hitting them up. But like now, id rather reach out and see them rather than feel like im missing out. But ive seen more friends in the past few months than I feel like i have in the past few months combined. I know social connection is a big part of being healthy, but i didnt realize it was like that for me. But it makes sense, for almost almos the whole time i was in richmond, i was constantly around friends. but as a real adult that shit is kinda hard, gotta cross reference everyones schedules and shit. but like honestly its better than nothing, and i dont think i could do that shit for a extended amount of time lol. and life is just so fucking different know, fucking mortage and house stuff. and still trying to exercise regularly and be an adult.

i almost never want to plan anything for my birthday cause i dont like that feeling of being a burden or w/e. But it just happned to be that arvin moved back home and we got lunch the day before with matt. and that night we hung out at a hookah bar. Ive been so scared with the random health shit ive been dealing with but hookah actually calmed me down a lot for some reason. and Im trying really hard not to get back into the habit of smoking on a regular basis. after smoking for 10 years man, that shit would fuck me up. not the smoking, but feeling reliant on something. Shit addiction is fucking real. Im blessed to be able to pull myself away from shit like that, but i know in the back of my head i know that shit would feel so nice lol. Even when i was vaping, that shit didnt hit as good as a hookah lol.

but yeah life is different. getting settled in the house, gonna plan for a wedding of some sort in the near future, trying to get the house figured out. life is just fucking wild to me right now.

the 20s i definately learned a shit ton. I feel fucking old talking like that, but like its fucking true. the kids in their 20s now have like no idea how to live like we did. i hope i can get to a point where i can be good mentally and physically to live life a little bit of what i used to. I always hear that the 30s is like your 20s with more money, which makes me hella excited. but yeah, im 30 now, idk the next time ill be on here. ill probably come on here once in a while until it dies off forever. I lowkey want to go back into my shit and read some stuff, but i honestly cant bring myself to dig through that shit lol.

until the next.

[hoshigray]

okay im gonna day a LOT because its been 8 years since i been here

1. fic was great but u always write good shit so lets pretend to be shocked

2. lmk when ur requests are open again bc i got a freaky one

3. i saw megan live and wow i love that woman

4. i genuinely keep crying everytime i see gojo with them stitches pls just let toji comeback to live so he can tag team sukuna w maki w a glock and we can ve free

5. gave up on my main nigga so now im talking to his friend and i like his friend a lot!!

6. everyone tryna act like they understand shoko to where they can criticize her decision of her being ok w yuta using his body is so upsetting to me bc yall dont know my wife

7. i miss when jjk was silly n fun

- megan anon

It's so wonderful to see you after a whole decade, Megan noonie 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

1) omg YIPPEEEEE, you read the fic!! And awww, stop you're too kind, Megan, mwah 🤧💕 bye "let's pretend to be shocked" you got jokes, lmaoo

2) I will !! Lowkey, I think they'll be open sometime next week, but idk, we'll see how fast I can get to finishing reworking my rulebook.

3) LUCKY ASSSSSSSS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Omfg ik you had a grand time, seeing the fancams have me jelly!! My time will come!!!! I need to see my Queen fr

4) NAH I'M SAYING THO, LIKE IF THIS MANGA IS GONNA KEEP GETTING RIDICULOUS, MAKE IT EVEN MORE ALL OVER THE PLACE!! bring toji back for one last scare for whatever reason, and have a mentor-apprentice vs kuna fight w/ maki and and he's just gonna blow this mf with the Mac (yeah ik this is delusional and they would be nerf3d but shiiiiiit, would've been a lot more fun than all this fiasco we've been undergoing for the past 10 chaps, lol).

5) Oh my, so you dumped the main guy (even though you said he's not really ya mans lmfao), and now you are hopping to his homie!?!? Well, as long as you're having fun, then that's all that matters 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️💟💟 (and hopefully, your ex doesn't be an ass about it if he knows)

6) Mmmm tbh yeah, ngl in the beginning I was a bit too critical of th3 decision planning (prob bc I was so bombarded with the information about the plan + her being one of his last dear friends and not showing a bit of restraint/reluctance to the plan); but now, that's just how Shoko is since she was neutral on Geto becoming anti-sorcery, so it makes sense that she's the Gojo body plan (and I'm sure she has feelings about the plan as a whole, but is probably pushing them aside as we're dealing with a huge threat to the modern world right now). But I get it, tho bc the hate she and Yuta got for that was so unwarranted like???? Calm tf down????

7) bro, I'm just waiting for this manga to end for me to turn around and make Canon convergence and rewrite some of this tomfoolery, starting with after Hidden Inventory arc 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[antitheticaally]

Answer the questions and tag five fanfiction authors you know!

tagged by the wonderful wonderful @asteria-argo

Wow hi everybody I know I vanished off the face of tumblr for a good 6 months, and I'm hesitant to say I'm "back" but... hi!

1. How many fandoms have you written in?

Well, I've written in a lot of fandoms over the years (almost everything I've ever hyperfixated on I've written fic for), but I've only ever published in one. As you all know, it is my one and only Ted Lasso fic. I've written a lot for Buffy the Vampire Slayer - that's probably the other big one, and then I definitely wrote some Percy Jackson fics in my youth, as well as *sigh* so much Harry Potter at the age of like, 10. But those are all (thankfully) buried in the recesses of my google drive and will never see the light of day.

2. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I think I probably wrote my first "fic" around the age of 6 or 7, and I'm 21 now, so... 15-16 years? Wow.

3. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I definitely read wayyyy more than I write. When I'm really into something I can go through like, 3 fics a day, but it's a lot harder for me to write consistently.

4. What is one way you've improved as a writer?

My grammar and just like, use of language and developing my own style has improved immensely just from writing for soooo long. I think I've definitely found my own voice whereas, when I was younger, I used to kind of take on the tones of other writers I liked. I've also gotten a lot more confident in sharing my writing, especially since I joined tumblr and published something in the last year. That doesn't exactly have to do with the quality of the writing itself, but like, the relationship I have with what I write.

5. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Oh boy, well, I did a lot of football research when I was writing for Ted Lasso, because I am not a sports girly. But back in middle/high school when I was super into Buffy I ended up doing a weird amount of research on 17th century England for some AU thingy I was working on. I think I still have the notes on that haha

6. What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

I love all comments, because I crave validation way too much. But long ones especially. Like, when people go through and pick out all their favorite bits and lines and take the time to tell me how much they like them... it's very Special To Me. <3

7. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Hmm.... I feel like I'm lowkey kind of basic in terms of what tropes I write... But I guess I write a lot of stuff that focuses mainly on like, friendship and platonic love and intimacy and usually not a lot of romance, which, like, I've found a niche of people who love that shit for sure, but I guess maybe it's not asssss common? Idk

8. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Oh god I can't write happy. I literally have never successfully written a story where nothing goes wrong. How?

9. What is the easiest type?

Angst. But like, angst with with comfort. Is it projection? Is it being a psychology student? We'll never know.

10. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I'm a google docs girly through and through. I do have a notebook that I jot down drafts in a lot of the time, but if I'm typing its on google docs. As for where and when... basically anywhere private. So, anywhere within my room. I can't write if there's even a smidgen of a chance that someone could walk by and peek at my computer screen. If I'm super into writing something I'll work on it all day, but unfortunately for my sleep schedule, most of my ideas come to me at 12 am when I'm trying to go to sleep.

11. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Honestly, at this point, I'll write almost anything as long as I think I can do it in a tasteful and respectful way. But there was a while where I was terrified of writing anything sexual or "smutty", I've kind of gotten past that as I've embraced my sexuality a lot more, and I have written sexual content. None of it is published, because a lot of it is from original short stories or older fics, and because I usually write platonic relationships, but I've done it!

12. What made you choose your username?

Aahaha... this is actually the second iteration of my tumblr username. A lot of you previously knew me as @antitheticallyargumentative, which came from a Taylor Swift song. I am a huge Swiftie, which I haven't realllly talked about on here, but I love her music and lyricism a lot. So the username came from a line in a song that was "argumentative, antithetical dream girl", and I just thought it was kind of fun so I messed around with it a bit and eventually came up with "antitheticallyargumentative." Then I revamped my account and shortened it a bit. So yeah.

I do not know whose already been tagged or whose already done it so.... whoever sees this... go ham.

Love ya!

[soracities]

Helloooo I'd love some advice please. So I went out on a couple of very lowkey dates with this guy I've known for about 13 years. We went to school together and I kind of befriended his friend group when we were around 13-14 (he was a grade below me) and then kept in contact with only him throughout the years, but that mostly included periods of us chatting online and never hanging out irl (we were honestly only school friends even in the beginning). He kind of told me he loved me out of nowhere when we were maybe 16-17 and I freaked out, and we never really talked about it and I'm not sure if he was serious about it. Due to some personal stuff I have a very hard time dealing with people (mostly guys') interest in me, at least when they straight up ask me out etc. Anyway, flash forward and we lost contact not for any particular reason, but he moved back to the area a couple of years ago and we randomly saw each other on walks and would walk together a bit. We've been talking a little throughout the past two years and he suddenly asked me out in the spring. I of course freaked out, but am trying to get over this weird fear I have and just give it a shot and see where it might lead. The problem is that he's shown that he's interested for over 10 years while I myself am not, really, so I reckon I wonder if it's "ethical" to agree to the dates even if I don't see him like that (yet)? On one hand it's just two dates where nothing happened. That's what dates are, right? Getting to know people to see if you'd work out. But on the other I wonder if it's mean to "waste" his time if it might not lead to anything? Gah, I don't know. I've also been trying to date women (no luck there) this spring and summer, and now I feel like I have to put that on pause because I feel weird about dating several people even if nothing's been said. I decided at the beginning of the year to try out the whole dating thing, being nearly 28 and never been with anyone, but I'm afraid of hurting him while also not wanting to really get into the whole "what are we" thing because right now we're not really anything to me but a curiosity. Is that bad?

Your feelings aren't "bad" necessarily—feelings just are, and there are reasons underlying them that relate to your own particular constellation of circumstances. But I do think it is unfair to keep seeing him without being clear on where you stand with him, especially if he has consistently shown you he's interested, and especially if he has very deep feelings for you; I know it was ten years ago, but I think it may help for you to talk to him about his confession when you were teenagers and find out exactly where he stands now, because I think this could be necessary for both of you.

Dating is about getting to know someone, absolutely, yes—but I do think there's a difference between dating someone to find out if you're both on the same page, and dating someone where you know one of you definitely isn't. I also think it can put a lot of pressure on yourself to try and date someone, for the first time in your life, whom you already have some kind of pre-established "history" with—it's daunting enough to try and date for the first time, to get used to the idea of being able to accept someone's interests in you, let alone to learn how to open yourself up and be vulnerable enough to let them care for you, let alone, again, the prospect of someone offering very real romantic intentions that you don't know whether or not you can reciprocate—it creates a whole new confused medley of obligations, expectations and anxieties that may just feed into the fears and difficulties you already have when it comes to people being openly interested in you, and all this in turn can make it difficult for you to discern what it is that YOU truly want and need.

Again, I don't believe much in marking feelings as "bad" ( or "good" for that matter); I try to see them as indicators more than anything, and I think its important to try and understand those indicators and what they're trying to tell you about particular situations so that you can be mindful of your intentions in them; in this, I think it's very important for you to ask yourself if you're curiosity is in fact informed by some level of genuine interest (I don't want to make presumptions so I can only go by your ask, but based on what you've described this seems unlikely to me), or if it is just that you wanted to try dating and that he happens to be interested and happens to be close at hand (because I think it can be's very easy sometimes, especially if you're conscious of never having been with someone and are trying to change this, to confuse the two).

More than anything I think the best thing you can do for yourself is be honest with him (you may not want to hurt him, but not being honest with either of you about how you feel will cause more hurt than being upfront) and clarify where his feelings for you stand. If they haven't changed in all these years then it definitely isn't a good idea to continue seeing him, for either of you—you both deserve the freedom to explore potential relationships with people who are better suited to where you are in your lives right now. I don't know if any of this helps, but I hope you can take something from it, anon 🤍

[theghostofashton]

hey neha! question for you this fine saturday (for me, it's like 25 degrees celcius I am LIVING) 1) how is the weather where you are 2) what was your favourite past time/hobby/activity as a child and 3) what is your favourite past time/hobby/activity now?

hi lola! thank you for the ask! <3

it is just starting to cool down a bit where i am, finally. it's dropped to the 50s the past couple nights (around 13ish C, i believe?) and it's been around the high 70s in the day (23-25 C, so very similar to what you have!) it's beautiful i am also living!! i'm so ready for fall weather, i've had enough of the heat. the first week of september hovered around the high 90s (34-35 C i think?) which was..... horrific, so this is definitely needed lol

at the risk of sounding boring and predictable..... my favorite hobby as a child was reading. i was that kid who lived at the library, whose parents had to eventually put a limit on how many books she could check out a week because i annoyed them about taking me literally every day, the kid who bragged about reading over 50 books in a summer to anyone who would listen and sailed through all those summer reading library challenges with ease. and then i found fanfiction when i was 10-11 and my whole world felt like it transformed with how much more stuff there was for me to read. i loved the escapism of it, but also the lack of rules. it was so cool to me that authors had so much power to write their stories however they wanted and it inspired me like nothing else, that's why i started writing too.

w all this in mind it is no surprise i went into publishing and work with books as my actual job lol but i will talk about something else for variety so !!

when i was in middle school i fell in love with running. i come from a Sports Family (my brother played soccer and tennis growing up, i swam, tried failed at basketball field hockey and tennis, and eventually fell into running) so they've always been lowkey on my radar. i kinda fell out of running in high school and college (courtesy of depression lol), but when the pandemic hit i decided to pick it back up, and i have not stopped. it's genuinely one of my favorite things ever which i know may make me sound like a weirdo because most people hate running lol but !! idk it makes me feel so free. i do it bc i love it so much, it truly feels like "me-time". i also live in my hometown atm and over the past few years it's been so much fun to watch the seasons change through the trees and leaves falling and flowers blooming. being out there almost every day means i notice when new flowers appear or a tree that had all its leaves the day before has none, and it's been just.... nice? really grounding, i think. so that is one of my favorite hobbies, a little slice of peace i'd say.

[lollreagan]

looking for alaska by john green

as with all my review posts, *spoiler warning*

well well well folks. i am officially finished with my first year of college and my exams. since moving from my small town high school to an ivy league - i can now say that i am a mediocre student - at best. i went from someone who had all A’s during high school to having half of my transcript be B’s and B-. And even so, I still had the best time. I can’t wait to leave my hell hole of a house to go back in June, because I miss the city so much already. (I think it’s something having to do with the sun being out now, because I wanted to go home soooo bad when it got cold - i am not a cold person). 

In my scrumptious 16 hour car ride back home, i took up one of my previous pastimes - reading. because I was in the car, I only had the selection of books which i had previously downloaded on my iPad - one of them being Looking for Alaska by John Green. 

I have mixed feelings about this book. I reallyyy want to like it. I do. I really do. But for some reason I just can’t. I don’t like how the book is built around the one central point and it happens halfway thru the book.

We never got to see Pudge and Alaska in their moment. There was so much buildup and then suddenly it was gone. And Pudge got super annoying and thank GOD the characters were able to recognize this and tell it to him. However because the story is told from Pudge’s point of view, we have to put up with him.

Pudge is unlikeable. He’s lowkey narcissistic and a pick-me. He thinks that no one wanted to be friends with him in high school because he just wasn’t cool or because he was too skinny. This really bothered me.

Alaska is unlikeable. She’s manipulative, especially toward Pudge. She would get jealous when Pudge would be with Lara, but she wouldn’t want to be with Pudge. And she knew that she could control Pudge.

The only likeable characters were Colonel and the Eagle. I actually really liked the Eagle. And Takumi and Lara but they were so minor that they didn’t even add much to the story.

The story was too short. I feel like John could have expanded the story so much. It ended so abruptly. It felt like we were just finally getting to understand the characters and how they act with one another and then *boom* climax of the story and then its over. that was it. too short and too abrupt of an ending. 

the climax didn’t make an sense. the story felt like John knew he wanted Alaska to die, but then wrote the story before he had figured out how. It felt like John didn’t even know how she died either. And i didn’t like this. I don’t like being in the same state of ‘not knowing’ as the author. I like being kept in the dark, if it means that the reveal is coming later on. It never came. I was still left confused. “Yeah but that’s the point, you’re supposed to come to your own conclusion like Pudge and Colonel” Shut up. Just shut up. You sound like you’re trying to justify bad writing. Shut up. 

There should have been more buildup to the car crash. And the book would have been better if it was told from both perspectives of both Pudge and Alaska. Because it would be better for the audience to know exactly what was going through Alaska’s head.

The part where she just storms out and has to drive to see her mother at 3 am was so abrupt and stupid too. It made no sense. She would have been too drunk to even remember, which is what they made a point of at first. Also she never would have been able to drive straight. Her committing suicide made NO SENSE. and john made a point of that through the characters’ investigations and THEY EVEN SAID IT MADE NO SENSE FOR HER. this is why there should have been a perspective from alaska. it was just lazy writing in my opinion to have not had that.

i hate this book. i hate this book. it had so much potential and then it felt like john got in a rush at the end and rushed the ending. the buildup was so good and then he just ruined it.

rating: 4/10

it pains me to give this rating, can someone please make a fan version of the novel that is actually good, im begging.

[vitaminwaterreviews]

After School - Virgin

Okay… Wow. Like, wow. I expected … I dunno, kinda shitty synthpop, something along the lines of Twicetagram? But it turns out First Love isn’t the exception to their sound: it’s actually a pretty good representation of what they can do. I really need to see the song average for my own sake, so let’s see:

Average score of 8.1 which is stupidly high compared to what I was expecting. But this album kind of shattered every expectation that I had for it. It was well-written, it was well-arranged, it kept me interested the whole way though. Raina impressed me, Nana and Lizzy did more of the Orange Caramel thing, the trainees blended in just fine. The MV was a bit weird but honestly kind of wholesome in the end.

And ultimately, this album really wanted me to look into more of their discography. Like, I keep coming back to the word “mature.” And when I say that, I don’t mean sexy: I mean mature. And this was just 2011! They existed for several years before and after this, with subunits and japanese releases and all of that. So I guess now I have so much more to look into.

-

Alright, I’ve just done some cursory Googling and already this album seems crazy. It’s got re-recorded versions of various singles, as well as some solo- and unit-songs. So really, less than half of this album is actually new, full-group content. But even more interesting, it features Kyung-Min, a “pre-school girl,” which is kind of a weird way of saying “trainee”. So I looked into it, and it seems like she won some sort of contest to become the newest member of After School, but she never actually debuted with the group! The only references to her are short, like a single sentence, so that’s kinda neat. Anyway, I heard Bang! one time like a year ago and I don’t remember a thing about it except that it was marching band themed.

Let’s Step Up

Steps

Breath?

More steps

Oh okay it’s rhythmic

Lol this is really cool

Okay here’s the synth

Yes I’m ready

“Ah ah hi ah ah ha”

Yeah this is cool, I really like this

9/10, I’m such a sucker for a good intro

Shampoo

I’ll watch the MV for this one, but not the others

Well she certainly is wearing a backpack

Photos

Oh okay we’re synthy now

Butts

Wow look at those waists

Yeah this is more or less what we’d expect

Dude what is this filter though

This song feels super AKB to me for some reason

Actually … maybe that makes sense

Yeah that groove with this instrumentation

The MV is lowkey kinda wholesome tho

Oh no she felllll

Okay wait but

Huh

Yeah that’s … a bit awkward

That said I do appreciate a nice instrumental break in a song

Wait whatttt no way she looks like 12

I know I haven’t talked much about the song but I’m vibing

I’m gonna Wikipedia this before I rate it

Wait there is no Wikipedia article!

Well my guess is that the new girl is E-Young, bc this probably would’ve been her first thing with the group

Alternatively its a pre-school girl

If it is E-Young, then she’s 18 in the video, so fair enough I guess

Okay wait these lyrics are kinda wild

Honestly I might regret this buuuuut

9/10

Virgin

Mkay we’re all buzzy now

It suddenly occurs to me that I don’t actually know Madonna’s Like A Virgin off the top of my head, and maybe that’s an issue here

Pretty straightforward synthpop so far though, kinda want more from it

“Diva diva diva”

Mkay that was a nice bridge, I’ll give it that

Also I really do enjoy the Vibe of this song

8/10

Bang !

Mkay yep we have some horns going on here

I dunno what to think of this tbh, I feel like I really ought to be seeing the MV here

Pretty vocal harmonies

I’m not convinced that this is very similar to the Bang! that I heard a while ago

But also I don’t know a thing about that Bang! so who knows

Okay I just clicked through the original and it’s pretty damn similar so I dunno

7/10

Play Ur Love

Mmmm this is nice

What a coincidence, I also wanna stay with them!

Woah her vocal tone is So neat here

Wait why the random synth?

This is unironically pretty though, like if you didn’t tell me that this was After School then I’d have guessed like, Apink maybe

9/10, I feel like I should stop giving these out so freely but I’m honestly so impressed by this

Dream

Pre-school girl #1

Nice 6/8 groove

This is fun, I dunno if I buy it though

Okay well the bridge kinda just saved this song for me, I was getting bored but that tied it together really nicely

Haha the saxophone

8/10 I guess finneeee

Because of You

Mmm piano

Whispering and vocoded vocals

Oh okay we get a nice hard rap out of nowhere

I totally buy this

I think strong rapping over an otherwise airy song is one of my favorite tropes

Also kind of getting 2NE1 Go Away vibes from the chorus and the vocoding

8/10

Depend on Time

Mkay, groovy

Nice acoustic guitar and kind of a slow jam groove

But it’s not a slow jam it’s more folky

Mmmm okay now that the bass is here, maybe it’s a slow jam

Their vocals! Are impressing me!

Mkay I guess this definitely fills the slow jam role, but it’s not nearly as … obnoxious as some others

Maybe I should revisit some of the old SM albums sometime

WHY ARE THE VOCALS SO PRETTY THOUGH

Ohhhh wait that was just Raina?? That’s actually fucking crazy holy shit

9/10, I just had to re-listen, I am so impressed by her like wow

Nothing to complain of

Piano moment

Honestly I’m amazed by how mature this album is? Like yeah they do their sexy thing and all that, but it’s clearly well-written and arranged and like it’s just well done

Compare to Twicetagram

Okay, this is the slow jam haha

I’m just never going to get over that Raina song though like wow

8/10

Funky Man

Right after I just got done calling them mature lmao

No for real though this is Great so far like wow

Nana, Lizzy, and a pre-schooler

Like, this feels way more Orange Caramel than Depend on Time

Although I think I do prefer Depend on Time more

Still, I appreciate this a lot, and it fits well in terms I album structure

Guitar moment

Yeah, this is nice

8/10

My Bell

I dunno who Jung-A is but apparently this is her solo

Well she certainly has a pretty voice

I would enjoy this song a lot more if IU did it, and I’m not sure if that’s because I prefer IU’s voice, or if it’s because IU’s name carries that much weight in my mind

It’s not a bad song at all, but I don’t really care for her voice in it, and also I don’t really care for the OST-style ballads

6/10

When I Fall

Piano~

Oh okay nice, glad we get a good beat here

And that was a synth hit

Lovely harmonies

Honestly this feels SO f(x) so far

Like if this was just casually the last song on Red Light or whatever then it wouldn’t feel at all out of place

(I love Paper Heart though don’t get me wrong)

I do hope this has like, a Grand Climax or something though

Mkay, it didn’t quite get to where I wanted it to, but still

8/10

[eklavya-bhardwaj]

Okay, I just saw it but here goes nothing, I'm one of those people who would just be happy and feel like it's a freakin holiday when Eminem drops anything, JUST anything, and again you wouldn't know until after he has dropped it, there is no freakin announcement or head up NOTHING AT ALL!! but that's not the thing I wanted to talk about, that thing that I wanted to talk about is that, how I just realized, if we would see Eminem's youtube channel about 5 years ago in 2019or even before that, the man he was doing numbers he was always top of the chart because fans almost CRAVE for his music, the HUNGER and EXITEMENT and the HYPE is real people, it's freakin real, but he was always lowkey on the subscribers, and other artist were doing good on all front, even the subscribers, so I have had a lot of fights, especially with taylor swift fans lol (ifykyk) but NOW... No, he got above all, he is on 4th with ALMOST 60MIL I MEANNN WTF!! I mean we have seen artists gain that many in a day and then drop to half in the next 5 or some years... but this guy is freakin 50+ STILL consistent, his music must finally make sense to most people now Ohh man, this realization just made my morning cuz I LOVE Eminem I owe most achievements of my life to this guy's songs. STAN FOR LIFE!! here is the list 1) BlackPink with 92.5 million subs (yeah Ik lol) even I love them 2) BTS with 77.2 million subs, I still think they are overrated 3) Justin Beiber has 72.4 million subs, I don't even need to make a comment on this one. now these are the people who have been on the hype ever since they came out, it's just genre... it relates to everyone listening but then COMES

4) EMINEM 58.5 million subs now when I say that rap music is just an acquired taste, believe me, it is, and the one that Eminem got, man YES not everyone can relate to or enjoy it, I DO, from 7 in the morning to 8 in the evening when I get back home he is what goes on my Spotify and for him to be this consistent over the years its just an achievement in itself mann Im just soo happy 👻 here are some more on the list 5) Marshmello (56.8M) 6)Taylor Swift with 55.9 million subs (still reminds me of a certain time in my life, I tag that time with innocence) 7) Ed Sheeran (54M) another stan being successful with BANGER music 8) Ariana Grande (53.2M) 9) J Balvin (34.2M) 10) Karol G (33.9M)

now call me childish to compare them all, but yeah It made me happy so I did my research lol, Anyway... let's see how this list changes in the coming time... idk about them, IM HYPED