#love u poetry friends
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i love having Poetry Friends on the internets
#not a single person i know In The Real World cares about poetry at all and feeling like im#not Bothering People when i send them poems#or ask about poems#is a luxury i still haven't quite gotten used to#love u poetry friends#and also non poetry friends who like me enough to indulge me
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in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!
they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.
they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.
you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.
but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.
where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.
and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?
doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.
but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.
what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.
just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?
your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.
#spilled ink#warm up#writeblr#this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main.#tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends#and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo#(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.)#(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape.#bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation.#but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have.#and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing).#but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry#here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x
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love poem (typical)
#my writing#my stuff#words#poetry#poems#i doubt that these tags will go anywhere so mainly for archiving purposes#guys (slamming head into table affectionately¥) i fear your favorite mr worldwide manwhore is once again In Love#i have this disease where everywhere i go i fall in love with people and then i write about them#what can i help it though she’s devastatingly lovely#i texted my friend three weeks ago and i was like#i am suffering from an excess of kind beautiful and extremely hot women in my life and she was like#this is a good problem to have. i mean it is also kind of giving’will hsge to do crazy troubleshooting later’#but for now i’m love love and i get to write poems about a beautiful girl so#wahoo! and yipee! and the like#hope love is with all of u too. in every shape. love of friends and lovers and family and all the other things and people
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the way that diff languages sound r so fascinating they're all different and all so vivid
#russian is like the surface of a feather like it's light but not exactly “soft” but still very delicate#german is . cute ? i think it's adorable . it has a lot of momentum it makes u wanna talk fast and talk a lot#like it's squishy . sleek surface w a soft inside#thai is like song . it's like interprative dance or maybe a trust-fall . everything follows from the previous thing#it feels like a little fairy flying up and letting itself fall and flying up again and so on (for fun). its so beautiful but also playful#mandarin chinese is like . idk why but it gives me the same vibe the concept of Observation does . like to read and to see and absorb#and then to translate that into smth else . like . imagine a poet people watching or an artist preparing a canvas w practiced hands. thats#the vibe. soft and elegant and musical but like...in a way that feels lived-in. arabic feels wise ? like music or poetry u read#and feel nothing about then years later u stumble on and it applies to everything in ur life. that kind of vibe. like it knows more than u#and itll make sure ur heart and soul grows as big as its lexicon . polish is like snowflakes falling . it has the feeling of complexity and#elegance but it's also so so light and slippery and...maybe not elusive but the feeling of losing a dance partner in a waltz ? like fun and#light but also an underlying elegance and somberness still . turkish is like the feeling when u get a text from ur crush#and your heart tightens and you cant tell if it's really painful or really amazing . it feels like unrequited love . or a caress#or making out with someone when you know its the last time you'll see them. its beautiful in a yearning longing way#korean is like joking around w ur friends and you've stayed up until like almost 5 AM and youre so delirious that everything is funny#and ur speaking kind of lightly and openly and everything you say holds a lot of weight and doesnt matter at all. you laugh at everything#and youre practically talking in inside jokes and watching the sunrise together . one of them hits u on the shoulder lovingly. ur by a fire#yoruba feels like the metatheory of the matatheory . abstraction until it circles back to intuition or maybe#it feels like plotting the route of a comet or maybe like the soft warm whirr of statistics. trying to verbalise beauty somehow#when you know the best thing you can show it is by telling everyone just look!! look at the sky just look!#anyway yh i think i could do this for every language ever tbh
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writing [love]; dream, a writer.
Dream: I like writing. I like writing poems; I like writing songs; I like writing everything. I like storytelling—I just like storytelling. Storytelling in general is fun. I do a lot of storytelling through, like, my videos, through my video editing ... that's my favourite part of writing.
Dream: So, it's [love is] special, you know? You can't really explain it. Um, you know, with your mum, your dad, your—your sisters, your brothers, your cousins, your—your friends that you've known since you were a kid. Your friends that you just met a year ago that you are absolutely in love with as a person.
Dream: 'Have you written stories as well as songs lately?' Yeah—I mean, well ... I feel like songwriting is very—it's like, you just take stories—like 'Roadtrip' was, like, essentially a poem, and a story, that was turned into a song. And I feel like that's with a lot of stuff. 'Mask' is the same; 'Mask' was a poem turned into a song.
Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott | Dream Subscriber Twitter Space April 30th, @/dreamwastaken | It's Been A Long Day, Spacey Jane | Dream's Tiktok 'love is scary', @/dreamwastakenwastaken | Photograph in the studio from Dream's Instagram post, @/dreamwastaken | The Story of Mary MacLane, Mary MacLane | Our Beautiful Life When It's Filled With Shrieks, Christopher Citro | Johnny Cash’s handwritten to-do list, 1969 | Tweeted screenshot from Dream's notes app, @/dreamwastaken | Anne Carson interview, 2016 | Dream and George on the Dream Panel at TwitchCon Las Vegas 2023, TwitchCon VOD | Tweeted screenshot from Dream's notes app, @/dreamwastaken | On Writing, Stephen King | A fan's Tiktok of Dream and George at emo nite, @/angstboycam | Dream explaining 'Spotlight' in the 'to whoever wants to hear' lyric booklet, Dream | Your Song, Elton John | Fan photos of Dream and George at Dream's tour
Dream's 'Kind Of Love' speech LA concert night two, @/milktea_grn | The Power Of Love, Frankie Goes To Hollywood | Fan photos of Dream and George at Dream's tour | You Are In Love (Taylor's Version), Taylor Swift | Dream explaining 'Paranoid' in the 'to whoever wants to hear' lyric booklet, Dream | Dream and George on the Dream Panel at TwitchCon Las Vegas 2023, TwitchCon VOD | Words, Gregory Alan Isakov | Dead Poets Society, dir. | Dream Subscriber Twitter Space April 30th, @/dreamwastaken | Sweet Nothing, Taylor Swift
Fan photo of George recording Dream at his concert | Addressable Thou, Chase Berggrun | Bright Star, dir. Jane Campion | George smiling at Dream in IRL DREAM TEAM IN MADRID, Sapnap VOD | Endymion, John Keats | Dream and George on set: Everest – Dream & Yung Gravy BEHIND THE SCENES, Dream Music | [brIght], E. E. Cummings | George and Dream in IRL DREAM TEAM IN MADRID, Sapnap VOD | Sand and Foam, Kahlil Gibran
#WOOOOO WRITING !!!!!! i love it so much !!!!!!! and dream does too !!!!!!#shoutout to all the writers artists creators in this fandom u are So incredible especially my friends i love u forever <33333#imsotireduerhogou whywas i up till 4am last night doing this n then hadnt been doing the refernecbes the whole time#so just did them tonight. it is now One am. i will proceed to pass out n sleep for Ten Hours#i really like this one i am proud of it :') ive had a dream + writing compilation in my head for Ages so i am glad ifinally got to do it :D#to those who love words as much as i (and dream) do ....... to whoever wants to hear ......... <3#heres som comfort after a pretty shitty second half of the day for us all and dream </3 Hugs#my webs#web weaving#dreamie#dnf#georgie#dreamnotfound#poetry#words#writing talk#compilations#imfine goonigh Zzzzzz ..... snorkshoo mimimimimim
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Miss you so much
Miss everything with you
Miss my heart beats
Miss my cutting breath
Miss my shaking hands
Miss your touch
Miss our laughs
Miss the way you look at me
Miss my hand on Ur face
Miss times and days with you
Miss my home
My favourite safe place
Miss you
#love#couple#my best friend#quotes#poems on tumblr#autos#love quotes#love quote tumblr#love quote life quotes#love qoute#love quote of the day#missing you#i miss him#i miss you#miss u#prose and poetry
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Things my friends have said but in the form of dps quotes pt.2
Mildly Nsfw I think idk man im ill and contemplating life
┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐
.・。.・゜✭・.
Knox: I LIVE YOU
Knox: I BREATH YOU
Knox: YOU ARE PERFECT
Knox: GIVE ME YOUR EYES
.・。.・゜✭・.
Cameron: do you understand?
Charlie: yes I understand
Cameron: *walks away*
Charlie: I don't understand they can shove it up there ass-
.・。.・゜✭・.
Neil: that's why you let them fuck you
Neil: not you fuck them
Neil: be a bottom
.・。.・゜✭・.
*todd taking quiz*
Todd: what's a hickey?
Meeks: it's where someone kisses your neck and leaves marks and shit
Todd: *spam clicks yes to receiving hickies*
Meeks: todd-
.・。.・゜✭・.
Pitts: genuinely contemplating taking Charlie's example and cutting my hair. It's a fucking nightmare to brush
Charlie: ILL HELP YOU
└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘
Once again doxxing my friends because they love me and the things they say are weird <3
@maniacprincessenergy @majikpanda
#i love my friends#incorrect dps quotes#dead poets society#todd anderson#dps#anderperry#charlie dalton#neil perry#steven meeks#poetry#dark academia#my friends should appreciate me so much after this#sorry broskis#<3 u
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I had no time to haul out all the dead stuff so it hung, limp or dry, wherever the wind swung it over or down or across. All summer it stayed that way, untrimmed, and thickened. The paths grew damp and uncomfortable and mossy until nobody could get through but a mouse or a shadow. Blackberries, ferns, leaves, litter totally without direction management supervision. The birds loved it.
Mary Oliver, Backyard
#mary oliver#backyard#devotions#nature poetry#nature#words#quotes#daily quotes#quote#quotations#nature writing#mary oliver poetry#birds#wildflowers#wildlife#hello new friends thank you for loving mary oliver as much as I do!!#tonight is dedicated to ms oliver as a thank u for all the notes on one of my posts#as to my beautiful wife who lets me have a backyard just like this one#i adore watching the doves forage out there <3
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people seriously need to start crediting poets just as much as they credit artists. I feel like, on a whole, Tumblr is better at crediting visual artists and such than most other social medias, but that understanding hasn't caught up with quotes of written art etc. Writers and poets NEED to be credited- all the issues that visual artists have with sunk engagement are equally, if not more present in literary spaces. People DO NOT engage with us on the same level because it is very difficult to consume written work passively, while paintings can receive benefit just from 'looking nice'. I implore you to credit writers who you use in web weaving or who you quote. It's fucking hard out here.
#web weaving#poetry#CREDIT ARTISTS#art#spilled ink#my words#maybe its about who i follow but i see way less stolen art than i used to#the same can NOT be said for poetry screenshots#also my visual art friends i love u so much but it's so much easier for a person to see your work and stop for a moment bc it's VISUAL#w writing u have to actively choose that you will read that piece
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hi! oh my goodness. i am SO sorry i didn’t say anything earlier. i did read everything a couple days ago, and i Have been chewing on it, rotating it in my mind, etc etc…..and the graphic has been my phone lockscreen since i first read it!!!!!
frankly i am obsessed and have also been a little frazzled this month lol. saw your post late because of the general whirlwind that is december and then couldn’t quite get my thoughts into sufficient words n got worried “oh no would it be weird to say something now…..” which is incredibly silly in retrospect, so sorry for that.
i’m relatively new to hockey fandom and the Narratives don’t always quite click for me (yet, at least :)) because i don’t know all of the lore for a lot of the popular pairings haha, so it means a lot that you’ve taken time out of your day to break things down for me and share your own thoughts <3 tysm. again, super sorry for the delayed response. i’m very sorry if you felt as though you’d wasted your time or something along those lines :’) just wanted to let you know that i really appreciate you and the time it took you to get everything down and make the graphic!!!! and like i can’t overstate how much your tags both over here and on your other blog have helped me to Get It since the start of this season, so thank you.
but now the house is quiet, the in-laws are gone, and no new work stuff until january :) so i can finally get some stuff down. every point you brought up hits in it own way but gosh you are very incredibly right the mcstrome of it all…..that’s sort of the lens i’ve been listening to the song through since you mentioned it.
the golden boy and the “draft bust” and the ever present notion of “isn’t it all about old friends? like everything? all of it?”. like idk looking back on a bestfriendship from when you were a teenager that was Super intense and the lines were blurred and maybe realizing (if you hadn’t had the words or the “guts” or awareness or wtv to put a name to it at that point in your life) that y’all were a smidge more than just friends.
best friends forever until you just aren’t! growing up and growing apart. it’s just the way things go but it can and will ache for a damn long time! you think you’re over it until their birthday or the holidays roll around and you wonder in a distant sort of way who they’re spending it with. what you would’ve hypothetically gotten them as a present if you still spoke. what do they even like nowadays, anyway?
maybe having the friendship end subtly. going from playing and traveling together and living in one another’s pockets to 2,080 miles of distance? (i may have my timeline/details confused here so sorry in advance) texting as much as you can at first but he’s a phenom he’s mcjesus he’s the next in line he’s expected to win the cup with his new team and end the drought for Canada. and they have him now but he was yours first, wasn’t he? but it’s fine. because you’re busy too. you’re captaining the team now. you’re gonna get the memorial cup that he couldn’t. it’s fine. you’re fine. you don’t even have time to worry about it anyway.
one conversation a week turns to one a month turns to once in a blue moon turns to stale words until it goes cold. these days you can’t quite seem to remember who ended things, but does it really matter all that much now?
or maybe it doesn’t end like that at all. maybe it ends in a flurry of angry words and digs in some or other of the endless hotel rooms you’ve shared together over the years. who knows!
and that’s not even getting into the rest of the 2015 draft class. or the ld19 of it all! ooh hoo hoo. you grew up with him but he’s not your waiting room. he grew up with you but he’ll grow “old” (end his career) with someone else. and isn’t that just something!
i don’t think it’s totally them, but sort of the sentiment of “I hope you get everything you ever wanted and I hope I never hear a word about it.” I want one ticket off of your carousel!!!! merry christmas, please don’t call!!!!!!!
dylan being sent up and down and traded around until finally landing in washington, a place where he is clearly at home and LOVED for the guy and player he is!!!!!!!! watching a game and seeing all the strome jerseys in the crowd……..wagh.
all that said. some other songs that are mcstrome to me in various ways: hot & heavy by lucy dacus (lol kinda the whole song). before the world was big by girlpool (“i just miss how it felt standing next to you wearing matching [jerseys? sweaters?] before the world was big”). happiness by Taylor swift (“i guess it’s the price i pay for seven years in heaven”), cut your bangs by radiator hospital (maybe? possibly? unsure. i like the whole dog thing there). i’m so glad i feel this way about you by insignificant other (!!!!!). there are so many THEM lyrics in there……..waough.
anyway. other things off the top of my head: 2015 connor specifically saying something like “hey let’s wait a minute so we can see this” to stand by the stage when dylan was getting drafted after him. MAN. you reminded me of the fact that they couldn’t even make eye contact at the handshake line!!!!!!!!! they didn’t go to each other’s weddings!!!!!!!!!! (do you think once upon a time they ever thought they’d being each other’s best man?). just a couple months ago dylan liking the tweet of connor getting that goal during the playoffs!!!!!!!! makes you wonder if he texted him………..
lol this was all over the place and i was probably wrong on some things and there’s SO much more that someone else could say way more eloquently, but i digress. i dunno everything about them is so nuts to me!!!!! needless to say i will be incredibly sat for the game january 21 🙂↕️
thank you again for your time :) hope you have a good one and a happy rest of the holiday season! <3333333
what a lovely message to receive 🥰😭🥹 i had to break it up into chunks because i couldn't sit down to read all of it at once without just. bouncing right back up and shrieking. i am also at heart terribly shy so i understand the struggle but it is never too late to say something <3 you are always welcome here
first!!! i love sharing!! i think most of hockey tumblr loves to see people finding out the Lore for the first time and the wonderful thing about hockey is that. it keeps going on. so there's years and years and generations and generations and always something new to learn about. i've learned to just not be afraid to ask!!! between different teams and players i'm always discovering new narratives (learning about the sharks old man yaoi rn... cbj rarepairs...)
no... to my heart's despair... you have the timeline right. i think in the best most tragic sense there's a mcstrome narrative where it is truly that nothing went wrong. the love was there. we couldn't do enough to save it because we didn't see it slipping away. i didn't notice when you didn't call until you never did. i don't know you now but i still remember when i did, do you?
HE'S NOT YOUR WAITING ROOM?? passing out. i do see "i hope you get everything you ever wanted and i hope i never hear a word about it" as them because!! they didn't go to each other's weddings!!! i don't wish you harm but i'm not going to put myself through that!! i hope you're happy and i'm never going to look on purpose.
i love dylan strome so much and the best part is that they all love him so much too. he wore a cool vintage ovechkin jacket!! and got slapped in the face with a tortilla!! he loves to gently rag on the rookies!! it just takes some time, everything'll be just fine. you're only on the middle of the ride.
OKAY WHEN I READ THIS PART I SCREAMED BECAUSE I DO HAVE A MCSTROME PLAYLIST AND!!!! HOT & HEAVY BY LUCY DACUS IS IN FACT ON IT!!! SO IS CUT YOUR BANGS (BUT BY GIRLPOOL SO DOUBLE JINX)!!!! i have dorothea by taylor swift on there but i don't know happiness so i'll have to give all the other songs a listen. mostly i just shrieked because i was like NO YOU GOT THE VIBES EXACTLY
🧠〰️🧠 truly the mind meld happening here. the handshake line. the mutual wedding non-invitations. i won't block your number or your name on twitter i just hope i don't see it come up on screen!! i do think that we got confirmation the last time they played each other that dylan did text him to say congrats on a milestone but i would have to check the archives
p.s. i think you said it perfectly eloquently :) what matters is that you said it at all and i was delighted to read it 💕
#liv in the replies#HI HI HI HELLO!!! IT'S SO NICE TO HEAR FROM U i hope u have a lovely quiet end of the year <3 with lots of time to rest & find ur own joy#& YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SORRY!!!! <33333 ANY MESSAGE IS A GOOD ONE!!! WHEN I TELL YOU I 🥹💕😭☺️🥰🦋💕💗‼️‼️❣️❣️ UPON RECEIVING THIS HEARTS FOR THU#ALSO IMPORTANT😭😭 I DIDN'T MEAN TO GUILT TRIP U I HOPE U DIDN'T TAKE IT THAT WAY i personally just. need to work on reblogging my own stuff#i hate reblogging my own fic announcements even so i was like listen this is for ME because EYE want it here and that's FINE. ok brain???#and also i think i have just accepted the slide that there WILL be hrpf here mostly because i keep tagging it but i always don't want to#plug this blog over on cbpc-hrpf or anything bc do you really need to follow me in multiple places or is that just being greedy you know.#obviously i don't because why else would i be dithering in the tags. anyway tl;dr i consider u beloved & also my friend welcome in the dms#at any time always. i hope everybody knows just yeet yourselves in there i am a Yapper and i love discussing. getting asks is one of my#favorite things :))) & getting messages from people is how u make friends!!! sometimes u tell people u love their work & now u are bffl <3#we all have like. Quintessential Moments that are secretly niche & the joy of going U DON'T KNOW ABOUT IGUANA WRESTLING??? is unmatched#also do you want to publish that poetry like?? hit after hit after hit. three paragraph six feet under. put it on the ao3 second person pov#dylan strome sitting at his fogged up kitchen window looking at the snow outside in washington the same as it was in erie the way it never#was in arizona and thinking about you know. maybe you know now what it was then. and does it matter? and in the end#he sees his girls run through the yard snowballs in their hands when he's done thinking everything through and he puts on his mittens and#walks out the door to his life. into the cold unknown you know. honorary fuckin' mention to what has secretly been percolating in my head#ever since i said the fogged glass window which is the one that knocks ME the fuck out every time but is so strongly a dylan/zach song to m#dream song by shallow alcove. just wanna press my nose up to the glass of your life. EYE cannot mcstrome w/that but it is incredibly vibes#also just. the queer experience of that Intense Friendship that you’re like WOW uh. maybe i need to think some things now. assigned to Them#HELP SOS what is ld19??? you will have to come explain this to me i fear. oh no you have to send me another message 😈 my brain said leon#but also london knights because mitch marner and the draft class of 2015. also had to laugh like i started singing phoebe bridgers waiting#room then immediately went into the argument of defying gravity 'i hope you're happy' (OBCR) because. i think they wish they could be spite#maybe. but maybe they know they only want them to be happy. also with the handshake... me when i. think about updating the goodnight chicag#cam now that stromer's in washington goodnight chicago goodnight indeed. DO WE EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT KITTY?? DEBRINCAT???? ALSO IN ERIE#also me🤝you🤝 caps/oilers game. they're like oh are u sick of the mcstrome teammates broadcast and i say no never thank u with my popcorn.#mcstrome
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i keep telling people i’m evil for what i did to you. really, all we did was slowly pick each other apart and mix and match pieces. the visual of two skeletons switching their bones comes to mind.
i keep thinking about our fright nights. we’d sit at the top of the driveway under the stars and talk about constellations. we’d kiss under the falling stars in that meteor shower while i pretended to know anything about astrology. we’d go inside and watch whatever dumb horror movie.
it was never about the sex. sure, it helped. we would’ve been the same without it. maybe a tad less affectionate after everyone got drunk enough that we could play like we were just tired. we weren’t exactly subtle either way.
playing beer pong on their table and always, immediately being team mates. that day we went to the lake and you told me i looked good in green. you’d always find some excuse or another to be wherever i was, and vice versa. nothing was ever unintentional.
i remember catching you staring from across their tiny balcony. every secret code and inside joke they’d never have a chance at understanding. you truly were my partner in every crime. today, i text you about job postings like nothing changed.
we still speak conspiratorially. once every few days about something barely consequential. i don’t tell you about the bad days or worse nights anymore. you shrug off that heavy cape of misery we both know will never leave.
you told me once- for creatures like us there is no fairy tale ending. no lasting happiness, just contentment; and that, too only in the most fleeting moments. but i swear it felt like heaven when id wake up to find you drooling on my pillow with your hand holding mine.
you taught me a lot. about myself, about you, about living life as a pseudo-vampire. i took some of your skillset and i know you’d be proud of how i use it. i hope you learned something from me, too.
how funny is the thought? you and me. locked in a seemingly endless cycle of waiting and learning and grieving.
i wish we’d stayed together for the kids. i wish i’d kept my promise. i wish i could’ve seen you again before it all really and fully fell apart. i’d still give up more than i’d like to admit just to spend one more night on their floor staring up at the ceiling in that comfortable almost silence.
#anchorite#love u very much#nihil writes#writing#pining#bfwb#poetry#yearning#this one’s about you#this house is still haunted btw#you’re still haunting me#our dog is dead and all i got is this fucking blog#my best friend is gone#enemies to friends to lovers#lovers to not quite strangers#it’s october now#we were gonna be team rocket for halloween#remember how you used to get jealous when he’d flirt with me#i do
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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here i give u poem or wtv
#me when after seeing san jose taiko and falling asleep on the minivan on the way home instead of sleeping i write poem#all poems are love poems. this one is love poem to old car and my friends and my mom#love u car and friends and mom#good stuff. think people are very excellent#i had an insane morning yesterday u see like super surreal singapore government advertisement type morning#so i felt all funky even tho i was like heehee! cock and balls#but then we went to see san jose and friends!!!! all around!!!!! people giving me headpats holding my hand etc#and i was like. world not all bad#world soft and warm sometimes. forgiven#this is how we keep going right. one foot in front of the other. wretchedly wretchedly#with love#anyway#poetry#poem#words#my writing#my stuff
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in a relationship so good im about to write love poetry i swear
#guys date ur best friends its worth it#this man.... this man......#i write PROSE i write NOVELS about SILLY GUYS and here i am.... love poetry#<- note. dont date ur best friends if u dont want to it just worked out for me
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aftermath, bitter thing - by liza (im not putting my last name on tumblr dot com)
...
and again the light rose above ridges of green and ash
and again i whispered to no one,
we are still here because we are something more powerful than the things that kill our hearts
but what a lonely life under a shell of a sun
...
#anywayy its about how restrictive the fear of loving people is#sometimes it's better to love even though youre hurting than to shut urself off from that shit because well. youre hurting.#i have lost many friends because i was too scared of losing them to love them fully in case they left or something and it hurt more#edit: but in the end i just realized that. shit. maybe i wished i had been living this whole time instead of trying to squash it down#dont be afraid of the love u have. basically. thats a beautiful thing.#does this make sense? no? cool! i can barely put it into words but i have to. idk.#poetry#my words#if u saw me post this last night and then spiral and delete it. uh. no you didnt♥️
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i realize though not just bc of my autism but my personality, that i’m for a very soft and calm life. the chasing and overly outgoing and ambitiousness scares me.
#poetry making art walks in nature dinner with friends i love u#like i realize when i go to the beach it’s usually at night or like a time ppl are in school or at work bc i don’t like crowded places
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