#love their dynamic and joint interviews actually

[fuckthemforthis]

ughh daaaad 🙄

[fadelbison]

fans who don't ship, especially rpf, as a hobby but are then swept up by a really compelling dynamic straight into the shipping sphere have such knee jerk reactions to it and will either double down on condemning shipping as something inherently abusive and invasive to a celebrity's privacy (and then have a holier than thou attitude about it) or will actually perpetuate these behaviors by going on a my ship is 'REAL AND PURE' and better than other ships crusade. i hope you guys are able to take a deep breathe and be patient with yourselves as you find your footing.

yes, your heart can break over a fake breakup. I'm still not over NeoLouis 'breaking up' and even less over how we never actually got NeoPhuwin after Cause You're My Boy and they cast Neo as Phuwins BROTHER in FUTS (my poor heart).

yes, you can get fluttery feelings watching the actors flirt in real life or interviews in the same way you get when you watch their shows. That's why they do it!!! You guys have no idea how invested I am in Firstkhao's joint house. How genuinely happy I was when Off showed up for Gun's 30th on the beach and their pictures sharing a room.

I've seen people when asked directly if they ship go into extremely defensive rants about how they respect actor's privacy and then go read fanfic about them falling in love even though that's shipping too. i know people who write rpf but can't own up to it for fear of judgement.

i don't understand the push for calling every toxic behavior as shipping and everything else as TOTALLY NORMAL FAN ENGAGMENT I PROMISE. No boo, you're shipping. I'm shipping. We are all shipping.

at the end of the day, no one is immune to an excellent story, real or fake. your feelings are real and there's nothing wrong with owning it. you're not getting extra bonus fandom points for never feeling compelled by actors engaging in consensual fanservice and you're not failing being a fan for 'falling for it' either. just...have fun. life is hard.

[hyukassubi]

SUBI'S EXTRAVAGANT REVIEW ON GROSS!

A couple months ago, I have read, dare I say, the most dramatic fic I've ever laid my two eyes upon (in a good way!!).

It was (nearly) everything I thought I would NEVER enjoy: situationships, flawed main character, drama.

Yet here I am... Absolutely pleased with the drama-filled, humourous rollercoaster of a romance that supposedly had no chance of growing into something more.

Warning, this review is bound to contain spoilers so if you haven't read @moamidzyism 's 'Gross!' yet, read it here! Now that that's out of the way, ON WITH THE REVIEW!!!

Yes, you can like unlikable characters, actually!!

Never would I've thought in a million years I'd end up rooting for a 'bad' main character. I assume a good chunk of us have been shoved in the face countless of times by the media what 'good' main characters are supposed to look like. Like we were programmed by society to like the good heroes and pull out our stakes and pitchforks for the evil villains.

I was in a reading rut for the longest time (I still am tbh 😭😭) and I always thought perhaps the stuff I was reading didn't fit me anymore? Was it the genre? The writing style? No. None of that. I was simply bored of always reading 'perfect' stories with 'good' characters and expecting plot lines.

It is genuinely so very astounding how, in my lifetime, I stumbled upon a 'badly written' y/n and still ended up enjoying her journey and the overall plot of the fic. Moral of the story aside, 'Gross!' has absolutely helped shift my perspective on 'reading what I enjoy' and 'enjoying what I'm reading'.

Character dynamics

I love how everyone has their own little friend group and super top secret bestie groupchat convos, definitely adds to the drama and complexity of the story as a whole.

All the friend groups are so different and although the 'yeonjun-taehyun-yuck!yn' gc is my favorite of them all (a buncha sassy silver-tongued fellas (ESP YUCK!YN, what's not there to love?) I LOVE THE 'B🐶s WHO BRUNCH' SO MUCH TOOOOOO.

I'm not into itzy but Chaeryoeng and Yeji y'all, Chaeryoeng and Yeji UGHH THEY'RE SO SUPPORTIVE AND LOVING ESP TO GROSS!YN, TRULY RAISING THE STANDARDS FOR FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS AND BEING A GIRL'S GIRL

I can definitely learn a thing or two from them too, growing up as someone who's always taught to 'love someone for their gains' which can be partially true but that's not the trajectory of healthy friendships!! You can be besties with a complete Mary sue but if you're not they're biggest hypegirl then literally what's the point????

Notable scenes that devoured, left no crumbs and did the dishes!!

SOOBIN, CHAERYOENG AND YEJI HAVING A JOINT SLAY TOWARDS THE END OF THE SERIES 😭😭😭😭

Sungchan being right but we all still mutually despise his character in the fic purely because he's Gross!y/n's ex... Something I never knew I needed until now. Ex-boyfriends are typically portrayed as candy-stealing 🍑 holes (which he was!!) but to have them actually spit facts that are right and raw and brutal but he's right???? My new favorite trope ✍️the 'bad but right but we still hate him' Ex✍️

Every. Single. Kai and Yuck!yn cameo. Couple goals. *Throws hands in the air* COUPLE GOALS!! IM TRULY NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE BIASED, THEY CAN BE CHARACTERS IN A NOVEL AND I'D STILL FIND THEM SO SO CUTE!!

GROSS!YN HATE TRAIN RUN BY YUCK!YN GODDD THOSE WERE ALL SO SO FUNNY I'D EITHER MASSAGE MY FORHEAD OR LET OUT A WHEEZE

THE GC INTERVIEWS!! THE GC INTERVIEWS ‼️‼️‼️‼️ (ps, Fay you wrote yourself so we'll here 🫶🫶🫶 talented author AND interviewer wowowow your talent is BEYOND me 👏👏👏👏👏👏)

Gross!YN'S miscellaneous items: Spotify playlist, notes about YJ and THE BLOODY VOICE CALL GAAAAAAAAAH

...THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!

This segment does not need any further explanation.

I loved making the 'video essay' on 'Yuck!' A couple months back and so ofc I'm back making yet another compilation (2 WHOLE MINUTES BTW) for this lovely work indeed 🫶🫶🫶 (Fay, if you're seeing this, take this as a late birthday present ^3^)

(if your guys' short attention spans lasted all the way to the very end, you'd see what I'd be on for the next couple of months moving forth nyehheheheEHEHEHEHEHE MUAHAHHAHA TYUNNING HERE I COMEEEEEEEE)

(PS TYSM FOR READING THIS REVIEW OKAY BYEE 😄🏃‍♀️💨)

[ncisfranchise-source]

Jessica Knight and Jimmy Palmer finally had “the talk” about their relationship in this week’s NCIS episode — but their fate might not be set in stone.

Warning: Spoilers ahead from NCIS season 22, episode 4.

“It takes potential nuclear warfare to get them to actually speak about their feelings,” Brian Dietzen, 46, exclusively told Us Weekly of the pivotal moment during the Monday, November 4, episode, in which his character, Dr. Jimmy Palmer, finally discusses his future with Special Agent Knight (Katrina Law), while off grid during the FBI’s takeover of their NCIS office.

“They’re literally forced into a situation where they cannot avoid each other and they have to have a chat about their relationship,” Law, 39, said during a joint interview, noting the pair “put their hearts on their sleeve, which is very typical of the relationship.”

Law noted that it’s Knight who “opens the door” to a possible rekindled romance, asking Palmer if he’s interested in getting back together.

“Do you want anything to change?” Knight asked in the episode, noting that the “one thing” that remains is the fact they both still love each other. “Wouldn’t it be nice if that were enough?” she added.

Palmer, however, pointed out that they “both have things we need to work out.” He brought Knight to tears when he said she deserves someone “who will chase down future job opportunities” with her, like “Indiana Jones,” but confessed, “That’s not me … at least not right now.”

Knight understood where he was coming from and revealed that Palmer deserves “security” that she can’t give him.

“He very gently kinda shuts it down and says, ‘I still don’t think we’re ready for it. Neither one of us. I think we both need things that the other person cannot provide at this moment,’” Law exclusively told Us of the heartbreaking scene. “Which still stands true. The door hasn’t been slammed shut, but it’s gently closed at the moment.”

Dietzen added that despite the pair confirming that they are broken up — they technically called it quits at the end of season 21 when Knight left for a job in California — the characters will “always have love for one another.”

The actor explained that moving forward, there will be hurdles, teasing a reconciliation isn’t completely off the table.

“Figuring out how to navigate that, how to potentially find happiness as friends and maybe find happiness with other people, in a romantic way is gonna lead to some really awkward scenes,” Dietzen said.

He reiterated, “It’s not as though the door is closed on a romantic revival at some point, but man, the twists and turns are gonna have to happen for that to occur.”

While Law revealed that she’s asked the writers to “have Jimmy date” so she can have a few “hilariously awkward scenes,” she confessed the future is literally unwritten for them.

“There’s definitely still looks between Jimmy and Knight. The attraction is still alive and, you know, these two are still kind of checking each out randomly throughout the series,” she said of the next few episodes. “It’s not gone. … People date, sometimes it works out, some people keep breaking up and getting back together, breaking up, getting back together. Or maybe they just break up and it’s always something there.”

Law played coy about where Knight and Palmer lie in relation to the romances she described, but told Us, “There’s definitely an underlying attraction and love between them that you will feel throughout the rest of the season.”

Dietzen agreed, saying that as he and Law move forward in season 22 they have to figure out the “extra layer on top” of their characters’ dynamics.

“Is there a line that we’re gonna cross again? Or is that set in stone or are we never gonna tread back there again?” he asked, confessing that the showrunners “don’t tell us” exactly what they have in mind.

Law, however, teased that fans shouldn’t give up hope for Knight and Shining Palmer to make a comeback.

“They have promised us some juiciness later on in the season and going forward,” she told Us of the writers, adding, “I’m excited to see what it is.”

[bisluthq]

Regarding Blake/Justin, I do think each person's history does provide some insights.

Blake got married on a plantation (and correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe only Ryan has publicly apologized for it). Her defunct lifestyle website published a story called The Allure of Antebellum (https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2014/10/76178/blake-lively-preserve-antebellum-shoot). She's been in a Woody Allen movie. We just saw that interview from the Woody Allen promo cycle were she was rude to the interviewer. If it was a one time thing it could maybe be excused as her having a bad day, but then we have this interview from a few days ago were she gave a very tone-deaf borderline rude answer about people possibly wanting to talk to her about their experience with DV. And as we know she is using this promo cycle to promote her haircare brand etc.

Also, there was rumored beef with Leighton on GG, there was rumored beef with Anna Kendrick on A Simple Favor, and now there is beef with Justin. At some point it becomes a pattern...

I'm not saying she is evil, but at the very least she is very ignorant and self-centered, and not nearly as nice and wholesome as her public persona would have us believe.

When it comes to Justin, I don't know the guy so maybe something comes out tomorrow that proves me wrong, but he's been focusing on deconstructing toxic masculinity for years (his very famous Ted Talk, video series, podcast, books). And he hasn't shied away from leading by example by talking about his issue with body dismorphia or having struggled with a porn addiction. His previous movies were basically about people living with illnesses, to being awareness to those topics. And he seems to have maintained good connections with his past cast members (including Sabrina).

He's also been involved in charitable efforts for a long time (like Skid Row Carnival of Love). And he is actually promoting this movie as a movie about DV.

Was his decision to adapt that book a mistake? I haven't read it, but from what I've heard about it, probably. But based on what is known about him publicly (as I said, I don't know him so I have no idea what happens behind closed doors) he does seem to be a pretty wholesome guy generally.

I mostly agree with what you’re saying with one big caveat: Blake and Ryan apologized together. They issued a joint statement and then he elaborated on it further in an interview and said “we” so I don’t think it’s fair to say she didn’t apologize. We can say it’s a bit weird and says a lot about their dynamic that he seems to do most of the talking for them both, but all that’s giving is trad relationship and he’s the bigger star and stuff lol. I think they both should’ve known better and DONE better but I also don’t get the sense that Ryan’s off apologizing for that and feeling bad while learning how to be a better person and Blake just dgaf. I think they both did genuinely feel a bit bad about it but I don’t think either has taken like a class on race relations or anything. I think if Ryan cared more about this kind of thing, he’d be… making sure he’s producing works by marginalized creators and using his platform to broadcast marginalized voices/scripts that would struggle to get made and casting marginalized performers. He doesn’t do that. So like… yea. I’m not into even subtly implying he’s “better” than her, especially since he seems to control a lot of her life.

Re her and leighton, multiple people have said it was less of a feud and more that they just weren’t friends. They were colleagues. CW wanted to promote them as irl besties because CW loved that kind of promo - everyone was meant to be besties or dating off screen and they had clauses that made it difficult to publicly date anyone not on the network like that was an actual thing they did - and blake and leighton never fucking were besties off screen but that doesn’t mean they full on Kim Cattrall x SJP hated each other.

I do agree that she’s ignorant and self-centered and super fucking privileged and tone deaf, and I think her husband makes most of her decisions for her and kinda runs her life lol but obviously she could change that if she wanted, so that’s her choice.

Justin seems like a decent enough guy, just not imo as smart as he thinks he is, but also not as stupid as I thought and he’s about to give those two a serious run for their money in terms of public perception like… as he should.

Blake and Ryan are def not as wholesome as some people online like to act and re Justin obv we don’t know but he doesn’t appear to be a Disney villain (or even like idk Hollywood high on power levels of shitty - that seems more Ryan).

[airenyah]

I’m very much in the gmmtv should split all their ships camp but joongdunk are an exception as well for me. They have such a fun dynamic with each other even in the bts and interviews that it would sadden me to see them separated. I’d also worry for their productivity, even Tee said for Hidden Agenda whenever they were apart they’d start sulking 😂

right!!!!! i actually rewatched the hidden agenda special ep where tee talked about that only a few days ago. them being sulky when they can't work together is just so cute and wholesome!! and you know what?? relatable djfkgjkfdgd (my best friend and went to this summer camp for like a decade, first as participants and then as leaders. and back as participants we spent 4 out of 5 years sitting at the same table at every single meal and usually right next to each other, even. then when we became leaders we had to split up, bc every table was required to have at least one leader. idk about her, but i was definitely sulky that we couldn't sit at the same table for the 4 years we were leaders. and towards the end of the camp, the more tired we got the more we ended up sitting at the same table anyway lmao. and again, idk about her but even the other activities and tasks that we had to do were always more fun when i was allowed to work with her. so. i absolutely 1000000000% get the boys)

that being said, me personally? i wouldn't necessarily be sad for them if they don't get to work together. they're grown-ass men and they are perfectly capable to function without the other. and they can always hang out and talk outside of work (if dunk picks up his phone when joong calls or joong manages to get dunk out of the house, that is kjdfkjdfgk)

will i be absolutely stoked if they get another series together? hell yeah!!!!!! (dark sexy vampire fantasy bl for joongdunk when???????)

but not gonna lie, purely from an acting standpoint i'd actually love to see them work separately at some point. especially dunk. he works extremely well with joong and i'm super curious if he manages some of the things i've come to adore about his acting when it's with someone else (whether it's another male co-star or someone of another gender)

not just that, another reason why i want to see them act with other people is because different acting partners can bring out different things with you because you'll have a different dynamic, a different way or working and interacting with all of them. and that can also help you grow as an actor, because you can take away something different from every partner you work with. and that is something that i would want for them, also

(plus, i wouldn't want them to get bored of doing series together. absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that, you know? i think it'll be more exciting for them if they do go off to work on separate projects and reunite every once in a while. i wouldn't want their joint projects to become like... a habit, i guess. i'm not sure how to phrase what i'm trying to say)

so either way, whether they'll get a series together or work on separate projects, i'll be satisfied. as long as i get to see both of them on my screen next year in some way (preferably as a lead)

the absolute best case scenario would actually be two projects per boy: they do one bl project together (hi dark sexy vampire fantasy bl) and one separately. unfortunately i'm never going to get this, though

[nctables]

[  BENJAMIN BRATT,  61,  CIS MAN,  HE/HIM  ]  and  now  walking  on  the  red  carpet  is  GABRIEL  VILCA,  we’re  honored  to  be  in  the  presents  of  a  world  class  LATE NIGHT HOST.  they  say  that  they’re  the  embodiment  of  CATS IN THE CRADLE  by  HARRY CHAPIN,  we  can’t  argue  with  that  one  !  rumor  has  it  that  they’re  ERRATIC  and  LOYAL.  we  often  hear  fans  online  compare  them  to  MESSY HOTEL ROOMS, THE RUSH OF BEING IN FRONT OF A CROWD, AND TRYING TO STAY RELEVANT .  we  heard  that  there’s  this  one  thing  they  don’t  wish  anybody  to  know;  HE HAD A CHILD WITH HIS HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART WHEN HE WAS A TEEN AND ABANDONED THEM,  let’s  hope  it’s  not  true  ! 

BASICS

FULL NAME: gabriel vilca.

FACECLAIM: benjamin bratt.

GENDER: cis man.

PRONOUNS: he/him.

AGE + BIRTHDAY: 61, february 27.

OCCUPATION: late night host.

POSITIVE TRAITS: dynamic, practical, loyal.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: impatient, erratic, disorganized.

BULLET POINTS

pregnancy tw, abandonment tw

Growing up in New York, Gabe was one of those kids that had always dreamed of becoming a comedian. His parents basically told him to keep dreaming, unsure if he'd actually get that far. And maybe it was unrealistic but Gabriel didn't care.

He started out doing open mic stand - ups when he was around eighteen. Honestly, he wasn't that good at it. His jokes were just okay. At that point, he had a baby to help raise, and he began to really question if this was right for him.

It was definitely a slow career start, and he began to work odd jobs to be able to pay the bills. If he wanted to continue his dream, he'd have to work for it. And so he did. Maybe it was the real life experiences that made him relatable, but it was around this time that he started getting invited to perform and joint open mic nights and bars. It kind of grew from there. However, with him being a little more in demand, it began to take a toll on being with his family. Especially when he was called to LA to do some one off guest appearances. He had to decide if he wanted to take his career in the direction he had always wanted, or if he wanted to raise and be with his family. He chose the former.

Comedy Central really helped him take off, however. And after his career began to take off, Gabe finally felt like he could take a sigh of relief. Gabe moved back to NY during his five year long stint on SNL, however he failed to reach out to his ex and his child during this time. He figured it would hurt the two of them much more to continuously walk in and out of their lives. After his time on SNL, he did a few movies, before getting the call about taking over for the Late Late show. He didn't hesitate on the matter, immediately accepting it. It was kind of what he had always hoped for, keeping his comedian chops up and interviewing celebrities and people of importance.

During this time, he took the show abroad, specifically to London on a few occasions. And that's when he really fell in love with the city. After five years on the Late Late show, after his initial contract was up, Gabe and the network couldn't reach an agreement about his salary. And that's when someone else took over.

He reached out to Channel 4 after this, looking to see if they'd develop a late night talk show here. And after a lot of negotiation and looking at if the numbers were worth it on their side, they agreed. Ten years later, and that's still where he is. The show is one of the first of it's kind in the UK, as most of the late night shows are really only in the US. But he's proven that it can be profitable overseas as well.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

exes

old friends

friends that he fell out of contact with

the mother of his child

anything!! everything!!

[ahappydnp]

from you tag: “I something worry dnp don't fully understand why we love joint content so much and that's it's probably not for the reasons they assume”

If dnp were to ask you to explain to them what the difference is between what we actually want and what they think we want re joint content, how would you describe the difference? Like I think I agree but I also couldn’t articulate it well

Oof I will try but it's mostly just *wild hand gestures and grunts*

I think dnp sometimes still perceive us craving and wanting joint content as an excuse for 'fan service' (or phan service haha) with a focus on their relationship dynamic. Like our motives are based around wanting more ~heart eyes howell~ moments or #phanproof. Which I understand is a warranted assumption! They spent years seeing that kind of stuff and have been through a metric fuck ton of overstepped boundaries and feeling like their personal lives overshadowed the content they worked so hard on. So it's understandable that occasionally they're gonna have that mindset of "ugh they just want to watch us look at each other and see if we'll touch on camera now that we're out"

But like...that is so far removed from the case? Joint content brings out a completely different side in both of them. Phil unclenches from the AmazingPhil™️ persona a bit and it's like we get to see a more down to earth, human version of him. He just opens up so much more and shines when he's got someone pushing him. Solo Phil is fun and interesting, but you can tell when he's just going along with the AP approved list of reactions and script; it feels like real Phil isn't even in the room. But Dan (and maybe a handful of other people he's collabed with that he seems to feel comfortable with but this is about dnp right now) has the ability to nudge him out a bit. Because Phil is weird and funny and quick witted, but it's easy to play it safe when no one is pushing you to show it off. (Weird!Phil please return from the war)

And Dan!! First of all...joint content means he exists in the first place (god I miss him). Joint content Dan is so much softer and more approachable? Like twitter Dan and some of old solo Dan was what I can only describe as "I'm rolling my eyes that you're here invading my space even though I literally invited you". The walls are thick and high and you're wondering if you even know this person (*cough* ganp), but then you hear him on Stereo or he's chatting to us with Phil and you're like oh it's still Dan <3 I love Dan! And he likes us! He's such a kind and thoughtful and intelligent and fucking hilarious person, but some of that gets lost when all you have to go on is a generic Dinof tweet once a month. (And like Phil, there are people who've brought out those sides of him- like his interview with John which I could write an entire novel on dear god that was so fucking good).

They've acknowledged before that they know they have amazing on screen chemistry and an ~it factor~ as a duo, but I hope they know it's so much more than romantic (lol). They're just fun to watch and it’s so obviously THEY are having fun too? Like their happiness is palpable and it transfers to the audience instantly. And going to back to the conversation from yesterday, them together brings back a lot of really good memories and it's a safe place for a lot of people. Like yes the world is a on fire trash can, but Dan and Phil are still around being wonderful humans who can bring an unbridled amount of joy.

And to close I will admit that yes, it's also still a little bit of the "dear god what happened to the closed ice cream shop jesus please stop telling us things there was SO MUCH room on that couch why are y'all like this". Like no one..and I mean no one wants y'all to make out on camera or anything, but I don't think anyone can look at them and not feel something. Because I am, at my core, a gay who's spent over a decade now looking to them for hope that we sometimes do get happy endings and love and best friends soulmates arch enemies whatever the fuck else Howell has said

[ansonmountdaily]

ahoy! would you consider making a gifset of Anson talking about not giving a f*ck anymore and Ethan saying "I admire you captain" and the moment where Anson is insisting that Ethan will have a great career, please i love their dynamic so much --> whedonipolis's video entitled NYCC 2018: Star Trek Discovery - Ethan Peck, Anson Mount

Hello and thank you for your ask! Those were great NYCC moments! :) I love joint cast member interviews (and panels) because you get to see the dynamic and the camaraderie between the cast. The actors tend to be more laid back and relaxed since the focus isn’t just on them, and you get to see their reactions to each other’s responses. Reactions are half the fun of these interviews! :)

I actually giffed both moments you mention a couple years ago from another video (via TrekMovie) that has a slightly different angle, but is from the same interview. Anson was asked whether he feels pressure about taking on such an iconic Star Trek role, and he gave a great answer that impressed Ethan. Here’s the “I admire you” gif set, and here’s Anson telling everyone Ethan’s gonna have a huge career.

The NYCC 2018 interviews are among my fave Anson has ever done. The other moments I’ve giffed are:

-  Anson's reaction to Ethan bringing Leonard Nimoy’s autobiography on set - Anson about playing Star Trek as a kid, his fave roles to play were Kirk or Spock (interviewer then asks why he never played Captain Pike) -  about first scenes they shot on Discovery (their reactions are hilarious) - on the Pike and Spock relationship and how it ties to ‘The Menagerie’

 The sets are all in my “new york comic con” tag, including a couple gif sets of the NYCC panel itself. Hope this helps! :)

[searenbound]

As promised aroace! Todoroki and reader fucking with everyone. It’s short but I’m tired and just wanted to get the thought out there. I might revisit it to give it a little more meat

Warnings: faked sugar daddy/baby dynamic, purely platonic relationship/qpr

Pairing: platonic! Shouto Todoroki x reader

-Honestly they were just fed up trying to explain their relationship

-Was it really so hard to understand a domestic partnership between two deeply involved people without sex or romance?

-Neither was particularly interested in that and their relationship as it was, was perfectly satisfying to them

-Unfortunately though, even though it wasn’t anyone’s business but theirs, people seemed obsessed with their literally nonexistent sex life and romance

-Why? Who knew

-Certainly not them and it was annoying

-like they kiss him on his check once and suddenly everyone wants to know what it’s like dating him

-Making their own assumptions or telling them how horrible it is to deny having a relationship with him when he’s clearly head over heals! How could they lead him on?

-And it’s like no, just no

-Didn’t say they don’t love him, just that it’s not that type of love!

-He’s spotted buying something?

-Clearly a romantic gift for his special someone right?! It’s ok they don’t have to be all proud and secretive!

-Again, no. Just stop it. Please

-Eventually (Yn) got so annoyed, they frustratedly agreed with the outlandish joke an interviewer made assuming they’d get it was sarcastic

-They did not

-And now all of Japan thinks he’s their sugar daddy

-And figuring no one, save for some friends, would believe them if they corrected them they just go all the way in on it

-Like not even trying to be subtle about it all out too

-‘Daddy, I’m bored!’ ‘Here’s my card Angel, buy yourself something nice’ type of unsubtle

-And honestly it’s way more fun pretending to be his ditzy play thing then expected

-If people are gonna assume they’re together why not mess with them?

Every joint interview they’re sat in his lap making up stories of all the lavish things he’s bought them

-Sometimes they let the interviewer make up their own strange story and just run with it adding even more ridiculous details as they go

-Even intentionally starting contradicting rumors and never actually confirming or denying them

[gra-sonas]

Lily Cowles plays Isobel Evans on The CW’s Roswell, New Mexico. The series, which originally premiered in 2019, is now in its fourth and final season. New episodes of the sci-fi drama air Mondays at 8 PM ET/PT. This interview will include spoilers for episode 4×06, “Kiss From A Rose.”

I spoke with the actress about diving into her character’s emotional content, Isobel and Kyle’s relationship, why that kiss was inevitable, Isobel’s legacy, and more.

This season, Isobel has been dealing with a lot emotionally in terms of romance and owning her truth, which Lily Cowles opened up to me about: “I mean, it’s good. I’m glad that Isobel is finally getting some personal emotional, like romantic stuff because, for so many seasons, the emotion that she’s been dealing with has been so related to trauma, her past, and trying to find her true self and everything. Finally, we’re seeing her in the situation where she’s in a romantic environment, and she’s trying to find her way through that. But the journey never really ends for Isobel.”

“It’s always that the ground is constantly crumbling under her. But I think a lot of that, it comes from the trauma in her past and the reality of her life, which is that she has this dangerous secret that is not only threatening her own safety, but the safety of her brothers— she is nothing if not protective of her family. So, revealing this secret isn’t just dangerous for her personally, but it’s dangerous for her brothers. And so, it’s a really hard position to be in,” she continued. “How can you be open, establish a relationship, get on honest and good terms, and really be loving with someone when you’re still holding back so much of yourself? I think that’s really, really difficult and I think that’s something that a lot of people can relate to, and struggle with, even if they’re not aliens.”

In “Kiss From A Rose,” Isobel and Kyle have a joint storyline, leading to some really special moments between the two of them. “I think my favorite moment in this episode is actually that discovery when they learn in the diaries that they find that the Valentis have actually been involved in keeping Isobel’s family line safe for generations and generations. I thought that was a really sweet revelation where Isobel has this feeling of safety and trust with Kyle because he’s someone who knows her so deeply and accepts her so fully. To realize that that has been like a family legacy on both sides for generations, I think just deepens that bond and that feeling of like, ‘Oh my gosh, this feels…’ it almost feels fated, right? Like when you get to that level, you’re like, ‘Holy moly, your family and my family have been like braided together in destiny for so long. And here we are, the two most recent ones of it,’ and we find ourselves in this relationship that’s kind of confusing and shifting,” the actress expressed.

“I think that gives her this sense of like, yeah, it kind of confirms like, ‘Wow, yeah, this person– there’s something really, really deep and meaningful here.’ And there’s also the chemistry, sexy part of it! I mean, he’s a very attractive man, and they have a dynamic between the two of them. I think, that can get kind of confusing, like, ‘well, what is this?’ But I think the deepest part of it actually is that the two of them really see, understand, trust, and really respect and admire each other, and I think that runs much deeper than just the like, ‘Damn, boy, you would look good with your shirt off,'” she said.

Over the course of the series, Isobel’s relationship with Kyle has evolved so beautifully. Cowles shared what it was like to build that with Trevino. “It’s so great. I mean, Michael Trevino is phenomenal to work with. He’s so professional. He comes in so prepared and he brings so much excitement and passion,” Lily told me. “If all my senses were removed, and I just was interacting with like the energetic presence, which is Michael Trevino, he would be one of my favorite people to work with because he’s just so on point. He’s so curious and I think that that has had such an impact in the way that the Isobel and Kyle dynamic has unfolded because the two of us get on set and we’re like, ‘Ooh, oh okay, what if we do that?’ Then like, ‘okay, and she could take his hand. What would happen if she took his hand?'”

The actress explained, “We play and we find these things, and I think it’s really reflected. It feels like the dynamic between them feels so living, spontaneous, and fun because I think the two of us as actors were experiencing that in the moment. Isobel and Kyle have such a fun dynamic. I mean, I think it’s really sweet at the very heart of it is there’s so much love and trust, and I think that’s why Isobel feels comfortable to then, you know, she kind of opens up in a way that I don’t think she can open up with other characters all the time. I think she feels very completely accepted and seen by him, like, he’s seen her at a worst. Kyle has seen Isobel on death’s door, he knows all of her dirty, dark past that she’s ashamed about and he still is loving and always there for her, always offering her guidance and support. So I think at the base of it is this like, deep trust and feeling of just safety. But then on top of that, like there’s a fun little power dynamic they got going on where they kind of like make a little back and forth. Isobel kind of messes with him a little bit and they’ve got this fun rapport that’s sometimes friendly and sometimes a little flirty. There’s a lot of chemistry between them. So I think it’s a relationship that just has– it’s so much; it’s like pulsing, sort of throbbing, just deeply energetic force between them.”

Of course, I had to ask about Isobel and Kyle’s kiss, which Cowles was excited and ready to talk about. “I mean, finally! I think that there has been tension that’s been building and it’s been building, and I think that we’ve seen it on Kyle’s side a lot, but I think it’s been existing for Isobel, whether she has wanted to admit it or not. I think she hasn’t wanted to admit it. I think, to be honest, she feels that she can’t afford to jeopardize her relationship with Kyle. So she’s sort of compartmentalized him and she’s hardcore friend-zoned him because she can’t fathom the idea of losing a person like him. The stakes are too high and I think Isobel has this suspicion that maybe she will mess up every romantic relationship she’s in. So, I think, she’s kind of like, ‘don’t say it, don’t think it. Don’t say it, don’t think it.’ But like, you’re standing in front of this person, who you have this enormous amount of energy with, they’re telling you how beautiful you are and how much you mean to them, and there’s only so much that you can do. Oh my God, at a certain point, you gotta just give in. I’m happy for them,” she added.

With the show, unfortunately, coming to an end, the actress also shared what she hopes Isobel Evans’ legacy is for fans who relate to her or love the character: “Playing Isobel has been such an incredible journey and such an amazing opportunity that as an actor, I fully recognize how blessed I am to have had such a dynamic, interesting, and deep character to get to play with for four years. I mean, I look at the journey that Isobel has gone on and I do hope that there are people who can relate to it because it’s a story about someone finding their deep truth, someone’s finding their authentic life and going after it. It’s a story of healing.”

“She dealt with some massive amounts of trauma, and she was so resilient and she picked herself up, and in that healing process, she was able to find her true self. Playing a character, who finds that self-empowerment, who becomes strong through trial, who is thrown down and consistently gets back up, and just shows that kind of courage and that kind of adaptable resilience is so– it’s important to see those kinds of characters because it shows us as human beings that it’s possible, that we can all do this. That trauma in some ways is an inevitable part of being human, but that it also can be a gateway to healing and to expansion into a new evolution of the self in this really beautiful way. I think Isobel took a bunch of lemons and I think she made a bunch of delicious lemonade, and I hope that everyone who remembers Isobel Evans will have a sweet taste on their lips thinking about that delicious lemonade,” she concluded.

[dracoqueen22]

Thank you for these flash fics! I loved the last one (Tarn doing job interviews) and if you find any of these inspiring, I submit: 1. Skids and Getaway, a new dynamic after Luna 1 ; 2. Deadlock in the DJD (or desperately trying to avoid the appointment); 3. Rodimus and Deathsaurus, captains of the ships of fools

a/n: I couldn’t resist. I’m seeing this as a sort of prequel to this prompt. 

Deadlock was exhausted. 

He was covered in energon. He reeked of ash and smoke. He had a hitch in his left hip joint, and the medics couldn’t see to it until tomorrow at the earliest. He wanted to get clean, to down some engex, and to recharge. 

Not necessarily in that order. 

“Deadlock!” 

His shoulders hunched. He knew that voice. 

He limped a little faster. 

Tarn, however, was not one to be deterred. 

“Deadlock!” 

The current leader of the Decepticon Justice Division caught up to Deadlock before he could stumble into the lift, and Deadlock swallowed a sigh. He twisted his lips into a sneer, and fixed Tarn with his darkest look. 

“I’m busy,” he said curtly, finger jabbing the door-closure button. 

Tarn shoved his hand into the sensor before the doors could close and invited himself onto the platform. “This will only take a moment of your time,” he said as the doors slid shut behind him, and the lift started to rise. 

Far too slowly in Deadlock’s opinion. 

His fingers twitched. He crossed his arms so he wouldn’t reach for his guns. Shooting fellow Decepticons was frowned upon, unless that Decepticon had done something pretty vile. 

Being an irritation didn’t count, especially when said Decepticon was in Megatron’s favor. 

“I’m sure you’ve heard that there’s an opening on my team,” Tarn said, and yeah.

Deadlock knew this was coming. “Is there?” he grunted. 

“Yes. Tesarus met a rather untimely demise and now I am forced to replace him.” Tarn’s field spilled a healthy mix of irritation and exasperation. “If I do not find a suitable candidate, I may have no choice but to accept open applications.” 

“How unfortunate for you,” Deadlock said. 

The lift stopped. The doors opened with a cheery ding, and Deadlock made his escape, moving as swiftly as his hip would allow. Tarn, of course, followed him. 

“As you know, the Decepticon Justice Division only recruits the most talented and loyal Decepticons. We perform a very valuable service for Lord Megatron,” Tarn said, and if this wasn’t the third time Deadlock had heard this particular spiel, maybe he’d actually listen to it. 

“Someone like you is the perfect candidate,” Tarn said. 

No engex. No washrack. Just his quarters where Tarn couldn’t follow him, that was the plan. “I’m not interested,” Deadlock said. 

“We have special privileges,” Tarn pointed out, never one to be deterred when he thought his standing with Megatron was on the line. Deadlock knew very well it was less his skill Tarn was after, and more Deadlock’s intimate association with Megatron. “Priority access to the medics for example.” 

“I’m fine,” Deadlock growled, and he picked up the pace as his door came into sight. His hip squeaked and rattled, but it was fine. He was fine. 

He only needed to make it to his habsuite. 

Tarn made a noise of disbelief. “You’re dripping energon.” 

“It’s a mesh wound.” Deadlock all but threw himself at his security panel, shoving his palm against the reader so it would scan his field. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m not interested. Go find some other idiot.” 

“Idiot?” Tarn, predictably, bristled, his optics darkening with anger before he drew himself up straight. 

“You heard me.” His door opened and Deadlock limped inside, swinging around to bar Tarn following him with the barrel of his blaster aimed spark-center. 

Tarn reared back, optics narrowing behind his mask. 

Deadlock smiled, all fang, no joy. “Good luck with your recruitment drive.” He saluted with his blaster and slammed his fist on the panel, causing the door to slide shut on Tarn. 

Fragging Pit. 

Deadlock flopped on his berth, hip twinging in protest. He buried his face in a pillow and resolved to recharge just like this. Eventually, Tarn would have to go away. 

Some mechs just couldn’t take a hint. 

***

 a/n: Oh goodness I’m having far too much fun with Tarn. ;)

[kbox-in-the-box]

My interview with Parker Stevenson about “Probe” on ABC in 1988:

Parker Stevenson and Ashley Crow, in a promotional photo for Probe on ABC in 1988.

Probe is one of the best short-lived genre TV series you've never heard of.

It ran for seven episodes, from March 7 through April 14 of 1988, on ABC.

It was the joint creation of legendary science fiction author Isaac Asimov and William Link, the latter of whom also co-created (with Richard Levinson) such critically and commercially successful mysteries as Columbo and Murder, She Wrote.

It costarred Parker Stevenson of The Hardy Boys as eccentric scientist Austin James, and Ashley Crow — who would later play Sandra Bennet on NBC’s Heroes — as his exasperated secretary, and potential love interest, Michelle “Mickey” Castle.

And it remains Stevenson’s favorite, of all the shows he’s worked on, so back in 2015, I decided to contact him about it. In spite of his hectic schedule, as both an actor and a professional photographer, he was gracious enough to answer my questions via email.

Q: I recall you saying in an interview at the time that you’d decided you were done with series television, until Probe changed your mind. Given that stance, how did you come to be involved in this show?

A: Having recently worked for ABC and Universal on The Hardy Boys, they came back to me with the offer for Isaac Asimov’s Probe. The chance to be in an ongoing TV series overseen by Isaac Asimov was too hard to resist. In truth, I was lucky to get the offer.

Q: In another interview, I believe you alluded to becoming a more avid reader as you got older. Were you already acquainted with Isaac Asimov’s works by the time you started working on this show? Likewise, were you a fan of any of William Link’s other shows, such as Columbo?

A: I knew of [Asimov] as one of the great minds of the 20th Century, but had read little of his actual writings. That changed when I committed to being on the show. I was very aware of William Link’s other shows. He was a major force in TV programming at the time. But it was Michael Wagner who I worked the most closely with. He was a really gifted writer, and I hoped to continue working with Michael after Probe ended, but he died too early, and that was a great loss.

Q: You’ve mentioned identifying with the character of Austin James to a certain extent. Which of his traits were you able to connect with most easily, and which did you find the most fun to portray?

A: Too much of Austin James was me, which isn’t exactly a good thing. What made it easy but uncomfortable to play him is that I have the same degree of limited attention span, obsession with “why,” idiosyncrasy, and I’m mostly a loner. I also talk way too fast.

Q: Your onscreen partner was Ashley Crow as Mickey Castle, and your characters had a very casual yet engaging chemistry. What was it like working with her?

A: Ashley was relatively new to series television, and she was a breath of fresh air, which I’m sure is why she was cast. It was easy, easy, so easy working with her, and that’s not always the case.

Q: You’ve alluded in several interviews to staying in touch with your Hardy Boys costar Shaun Cassidy. Given your expressed fondness for Probe, are there any members of its cast or crew that you’ve remained in contact with?

A: Yes, I have gotten to see the director of the pilot, Alan Levy, sporadically over the years, and the director Rob Bowman, who I worked with many times on Baywatch, and who went on to work on The X-Files and, more recently, Castle. Both are talented filmmakers and good men.

Q: Like many television shows in the 1980s, Probe had a bit of a “ship-tease” between its male and female leads. Do you know if there were any plans to go any further in hinting at a possible romance between Austin and Mickey? Furthermore, what would have been your preference for how their relationship would have been handled?

A: No one ever mentioned consummating any relationship between Austin or Mickey, but it would have been a mistake, as it was at the time on Remington Steele. The effort to create some quick ratings numbers never plays out in the end, when the relationship loses its flirtatious energy.

Q: Probe tackled a number of heady topics and concepts, from artificial intelligence to the morality of animal experimentation. Were there any scientific subjects that you might have enjoyed seeing featured in an episode of the show?

A: I always thought Asimov’s perspective on the question of how societal pressures and conventions and/or the advertising industry’s marketing affect our choices, thinking and behavior would have been really interesting to see play out.

Q: Which are your most and least favorite episodes of the show, both to work on and to watch later on?

A: My favorite episode on Probe was one called “Metamorphic Anthropoidic Prototype Over You.” It starred an orangutan named Sunshine. I swear she was smarter than all of us put together. I loved the season of episodes we made because they were all so different, each from each other, and from any other show on at the time.

Q: If I remember correctly, you touted the long hours you put in on set, something like 10 hours at a stretch on some days. Were those typical hours for a TV show at the time, or were there specific demands to producing Probe that forced you to burn the midnight oil? Moreover, what were the biggest challenges to producing a show like Probe?

A: 10 hours a day was standard, but 12, 14, 16 and even 18 often occurred, especially on Fridays, when the union specified turnaround could be protected. That is all fine if you love what you are doing. What was unusual at the time was the fact that the show was filmed on location in Phoenix to save money. I guess it was the start of what would be called “runaway” production leaving the state of California.

Q: Given the number of 1980s entertainment franchises that have been successfully revived, do you know if anyone has considered bringing back Probe? The dynamic between Austin and Mickey seems to have inspired Mulder and Scully on The X-Files, which has itself influenced countless other shows.

A: I haven’t heard any talk about resurrecting Probe, but if it was, I would beg to be part of it.

Q: What fates do you imagine might have befallen the show’s characters by now, 27 years later?

A: Mickey would most likely be happily married with grown kids and living in Connecticut, while Austin would probably be in hiding like Howard Hughes in the desert somewhere.

Q: Are there any questions that I haven’t asked that you’d like to answer? In short, is there anything that I’ve left out here?

A: Why was working on Probe so fun? Because it was ahead of its time and smarter than the average show.

My thanks again to Parker Stevenson for sharing his informative insights on a show that surely deserved more of a chance.

[broken-clover]

Because I am an idiot who has no self control allow me to introduce you to yet another GG AU.

I got hooked on Actor!AU’s so here, an au where everything is pretty okay

Sol- Believe it or not, those muscles are 100% real, but that’s pretty much the only character-accurate part about him. He’s a massive softie off-screen and has a habit of stopping halfway through fight scenes because he’s afraid he accidentally hit someone for real and injured them. He especially adores younger fans and loves doing autographs or photos with them.

Ky- He’s been in acting for a bit of time doing small characters, but this is his first big role and he’s constantly afraid of fucking it up. Thankfully his constant stressing out over it is very in-character. He went all-in for it, taking swordsmanship lessons in order to make the fights more realistic.

Sin- A college student who basically got the role on a joke after ditching class to audition. He likes the idea of being a ‘cool big brother’ to his younger crewmates and is prone to swiping them and piling everyone in his shitty beat-up car for ice cream runs between scenes. He’s still not completely used to the lack of depth perception the eyepatch gives him, so he has a habit of bumping into the sets.

Elphelt- Child actor who’s finally moved onto bigger productions. A very frequent victim of the paparazzi, who seem to believe the young starlet has some sort of secret racy pastime or double life. Somehow, she’s still got a squeaky-clean record and seems genuinely very sweet. Uses social media to interact with her fans, offering sneak-peeks and backstage glimpses and occasionally posts impersonal interviews with some of her castmates.

Faust- Yes, he is actually that tall, and the oddity of his appearance is the main reason why he ended up in acting. But a lot of his more dynamic scenes either use CGI or a stunt double on stilts because his extreme height means he has circulation problems and issues with his joints. He has a bit of a grumpy streak when his joint pain flares up but otherwise he’s a pretty affable guy and uses his fame to act as a charity spokesman, mostly for children with disabilities

Venom- Incredibly outspoken and a real chatterbox, he constantly has to be reminded to rein it in during scenes to try and seem more ‘cool.’ The hair is fake, no matter how hard they tried it was impossible to get the symbol to work with his real hair. Off set, he’s happily married and has adopted three kids with his husband. The gay subtext for his character is something he keeps ad-libbing and slipping in.

Millia- A world-class ballet dancer who got into acting, she does all her own stunts and refuses to use any doubles or CGI enhancements except for on Angra. She has a pretty severe fur allergy, so even though Millia loves cats they can’t have them on set for long or else she’ll start breaking out.

Zato- A veteran actor mostly known for his heroic characters or bad-boy antiheroes, they weren’t sure if he would work as a villain but he’s getting an absolute kick out of it. He’s actually blind in real life (though he doesn’t wear the blindfold around), and has named his most recent seeing-eye dog Eddie because he’s a massive dork.

Zappa- got hired mainly on the fact that he’s a ridiculously good contortionist and that helped with a lot of the ‘possession’ scenes, though the wardrobe department had a hell of a time finding something that worked with all the weird poses he had to make. He’s a bit of a prankster about it too, always scuttling around backwards on all fours on set to freak people out.

Bedman- The youngest actor on-set, and right now he’s still in middle school. He spends a lot of time around the other younger actors and admires them a lot. Kind of an anxious mess, but he’s just figuring things out with time. The bed mecha is mostly practical effects, but he’s always slightly afraid that it’s going to collapse or fall over when he’s on it. 

Baiken- They primarily did stunt-double work for samurai movies/period pieces until taking on this role, and their popularity skyrocketed because of it. They really have no idea where it came from, but not like they’re really complaining. While they may come off as cold and prickly as their character, it’s mostly because they’re a non-native speaker and have trouble communicating with a lot of the cast.

[quelsentiment]

all the easter eggs in it do be like that sometimes

so a lovely reader commented on idblts today and asked me if i had a list of all the 1d easter eggs i included in it, because they’re quite new to the fandom—which, relatable 😌

so i just read through it and here’s everything i found/could remember

potential spoilers ahead 😈

starting with the obvious: Four Orientations (4o)=One Direction (1d)

Hayley=Harry

Lisa=Liam

Lora=Louis

Niamh=Niall

Zaima=Zayn

their new album is called FIVE in reference to FOUR, obviously, but it’s actually more based on Made In The AM in my mind

Lift Me Up (the new single)=Drag Me Down: it drops out of nowhere without any warning, the video features them wearing being on a submarine and wearing diving suits (which parallels with the DMD set and costumes somehow). also Hayley has the opening lines and an iconic solo at the end, just like H in DMD

the ballad that gets played at the end of the concert and that they hear again the next day in the taxi is basically If I Could Fly (with Lora and Hayley singing the bridge like H&L in real life)

Niamh is Irish and plays the guitar, just like Niall

Lora tends to be underrated but has a very loyal fanbase, just like Louis

Lisa is kind of their spokesperson, and may or may not have a thing with Zaima (*cough*Ziam*cough)

other stuff:

“A massive thank you to all my followers who were genuinely worried.” (one of Louis’ tweets) - okay, apparently it was more of a Liam/Zayn/Harry thing than a louis thing, but that video is hilarious

Louis and Harry create an interactive website for their application to the fan contest, and in my mind it looks a lot like the one we got for the anniversary (except it actually works)

Harry makes terrible jokes and stupid puns just like real-life Harry. he’s also very clumsy, and speaks slowly

Louis doesn’t Liam very much at first, but grows to like him, like real-life Lilo dynamics 🥺

“Stop it, I was just trying to be nice…”(Louis to Harry): pretty much a direct quote from this iconic Lilo moment

Harry describing Louis as loud in their first joint interview, which, yeah...

Niall is a big time Larrie 

Louis is lowkey in love with Zayn (that’s just one of my headcanons though)

“I’ve read some theories, and even though they’re quite entertaining, I can assure you they’re not true. Harry and I genuinely haven’t met before today, and there’s no secret love affair or whatever.” + “Look, Niall’s one of those Larries, okay? If he sees we’re close, he’s gonna assume we’re actually together and spread rumours to the rest of their organization, or whatever they call themselves.” : based on this interview 💀

“He couldn’t stop his eyes from looking down at his lips, his brain going into overdrive and screaming: “Now kiss him, you fool!” over and over again.

Louis didn’t learn any Italian during the trip, just like Zayn didn’t learn anything in Japan

[smkkbert]

We ended as Lovers (2/12)

Summary: Three years ago, Felicity’s life was perfect. She was offered a job at two great companies. Her boyfriend just started his own fashion label, and they picked a perfect apartment to live in together. The more heartbroken she was when Oliver got cold feet and it all ended. Now, Felicity is coming back to Starling City, well aware that she is destined to run into her ex-boyfriend there. While old feelings revive quickly, the pain still goes deep. Besides, for some reason Oliver seems to be angry with her. 

Previous Chapters: 1 or read on Ao3

* * *

Chapter 2: Sweetheart Neckline

“It’s just so good to see you again.”

Felicity’s chuckle sounded more like a choking sound as Sara hugged her so firmly that she could barely breathe. Sara might be almost as short as Felicity, but she had a lot of strength in every single inch of her. If the firmness of her hug was anything to judge. Felicity guessed that she wasn’t the only one who had missed her friend.

“I am so happy that you are here,” Sara said eventually, pulling back a little to look Felicity up and down quickly. “You look good. Still cute actually.”

Still cute. Felicity couldn’t help but smile at Sara’s words. They reminded her of the good, old times when they had liked to fool around, saying that maybe one day they would be together. They had always been perfectly in tune as friends and roommates which would have probably made it easy to be romantically involved with each other. Felicity even considered herself open to any kind of love that would come her way. It had just never clicked between Sara and her, not even during that awkward kiss while they had been spinning the bottle.

“You look great too.” Felicity tugged at a strand of Sara’s blonde hair. “I guess you are glowing like every bride does. Or is it blushing?”

“If you don’t know, how am I supposed to know?” Sara chuckled. “Anyway, not every bride might actually glow or blush. I am very sure that Nyssa is none of that, and nobody would even dare to claim anything else.”

Perking up her eyebrows, Felicity turned her head to where Nyssa was standing in the frame of the door. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest. Her body posture was tense, and her lips were pinched slightly. Smiling, Felicity realized that Sara was right. Nobody would ever dare to call Nyssa a glowing or blushing wife, not if they were somewhat sane.

“It’s not like I am not looking forward to the wedding,” Nyssa said a little grumpily. “I am just happy on the inside.”

Nyssa looked at Sara intensely. Though she almost seemed angry or annoyed about her fiancée’s words, the moment Sara flashed her a smile, the corner of Nyssa’s lips started twitching too. Nyssa might not be the most talkative person, but she was a good soul, and she was completely in love with Sara.

“As long as you two are happy, that is all that really counts.” Felicity let go of Felicity and hugged Nyssa. “I’m happy that you are happy.”

After a brief moment, Felicity let go of Nyssa and took a step back. She knew that Nyssa wasn’t really comfortable with too much physical affection other than the one was shown by Sara. Felicity respected that.

Looking Felicity up and down, Nyssa frowned. Her eyes narrowed down on Felicity, and her lips puckered even more.

“Sara is right,” she said. “You do look a lot better than you did when we visited you in Hub City six months ago and way better than you do on the tiny displays of our phones.”

Although there was a bit of a compliment in there that she didn’t doubt was actually meant honestly, Felicity knew that there was a little bit of a reproach in Nyssa’s words too. It was her work at Helix Dynamics and her refusion to come to Starling City that was to blame for the six months they hadn’t seen each other in person.

Sara cleared her throat and quickly stepped towards Nyssa, wrapping an arm around her waist. “What Nyssa is trying to say is that we are very happy that you came here to celebrate our wedding with us. Right?”

Nyssa pressed her lips together for a moment before she put on a smile. “Right.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have missed your wedding for anything.”

“Good because I would have killed you otherwise.” Sara nodded towards the inside of the apartment. “Now come in, or I’ll start feeling like you are on the run.”

Felicity followed her friends into the open living space where kitchen, dining room and living room were joint into one large area. The walls were at least five-meter-high, and the wall toward the terrace and garden was covered with large muntin windows that reached from the floor up to the ceiling. The dark hardwood floor was a contrast to the light walls and furniture. Everything looked incredibly elegant and expensive.

“Wow,” Felicity said. “I knew that OJQ isn’t paying badly, but I never thought that they would pay you enough to afford something like this.”

“They don’t,” Sara admitted honestly. “Moira promised that, once OJQ is really running with the big dogs on the fashion market, we will be paid more. So far, we earn a little less than most models do.”

“But you don’t mind,” Felicity said, not having to ask.

“Of course not. The Queens have been my family since dad died, so…”

Sara shrugged her shoulders. Felicity could see the glance of sadness in her eyes. Through the years it had become less, but it was still always there when she talked about her father. She really missed him since they had been very close and so very similar.

“So, how do you afford this?” Felicity asked. “The rent doesn’t pay itself, right?”

“Actually, it does.” Sara shrugged her shoulders once more. “It’s property of the Queen Family. Robert suggested that we would live here without paying rent. We should take that as a bonus for being the face of OJQ.”

“Which doesn’t mean that OJQ pays that badly that we wouldn’t be able to afford a place of our own,” Nyssa explained, dropping into the cushions of the couch. “It’s just that we could have never found something this beautiful.”

Felicity shot Nyssa a brief smile, nodding her head. She was sure that an apartment like this was a rare treasure to find here. She remembered how hard it had been when she had tried to find a place to live here in Starling.

Quickly, Felicity pushed the thought aside. It was too painful as searching for a place to live had been the beginning to the end. Maybe she would still call Starling City her home if it hadn’t been for that.

“So, how are things going with Ray?” Sara asked, letting herself fall onto the couch over the backrest. “Is everything still good?”

“We broke up.”

Sara’s smile dropped. “Oh.”

Smiling, Felicity shrugged it off. She seemed to have much less problems with the break-up than most other people did. Maybe it was just the fact that she had had some more time to think about it. Robert, Sara and Nyssa had heard about it the first time now here.

“It’s not that bad,” Felicity explained. “There was no big fight and no heartbreak. We just realized that we didn’t work as a couple. I mean we could tell each other everything about work, and we could work together constructively, but it wasn’t what a relationship should be like. We are better off being friends.”

“It’s good you realized that now before it’s too late.”

When Sara shot Nyssa a glare, she rolled her eyes. Felicity bit down on her tongue. She didn’t want to get into this little conversation between the soon-to-be weds. It was amusing to see them so in tune with each other though. Sara and Nyssa had always been the kind of couple everyone else was looking up to.

“So, what else are you doing?” Sara asked. “I mean what do you do all day in Hub City?”

“Work.” Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “I guess.”

“Exciting.”

Nyssa’s voice left no doubt that she was being sarcastic. While Sara shot her another glare, Felicity couldn’t be angry with Nyssa. She was right. Her life sounded incredibly boring. It probably would be if she didn’t love her job as much as she did.

Clearing her throat, Felicity changed the subject. “So, tell me everything there is to know about the wedding. I want to know everything.”

Sara and Nyssa exchanged a look that left no doubt how deeply they were in love with each other. Sara scooted a little closer to Nyssa on the couch and put her hand on Nyssa’s knee.

“Robert’s paying for the wedding.”

Felicity faltered briefly. She had expected a lot of first information to get about this wedding, but she hadn’t necessarily expected this to be the first thing Sara would tell her. She guessed most people would have talked about the location, the food or maybe the dress.

“Well, you did grow to be family to the Queens after your dad died,” Felicity said. “I am sure you made him very happy when you agree to let him pay for the wedding.”

“Yes, he offered again and again, and eventually, we just agreed,” Sara replied, nodding her head. “I wouldn’t have needed him to pay for the wedding, but it was a good feeling to know that he wanted to do so because he felt like he was my father, at least a little bit.”

Felicity smiled, knowing exactly what Sara meant. Robert Queen was the most generous person she knew, and he gladly invited everyone who was interested to become a part of his family. He had done so with Sara after her dad head died and she had had nobody else. He had done so with Nyssa when she had been abandoned by her father after he had found out that she was into girls. Once she had started dating Oliver, he had welcomed her with open arms too, and he would have still considered her family even if she had worked for his concurrent.

“Well, of course that means that they can also control the media,” Nyssa added, “but I think we found a good compromise on that.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “There will be press attending?”

“No, we could convince Moira that we didn’t want that,” Sara replied. “We hired two of our usual fashion photographers though, and some selected photos as well as a joint interview will be printed in the next issue of the Vogue.”

Felicity whistled out a breath of impression. “That’s a big thing.”

“A lesbian and a bi that work as the faces of the same fashion label getting married in an extraordinary ceremony,” Nyssa said. “That is a big thing.”

“True.” Felicity nodded her head. “The media wouldn’t be interested if you weren’t this good at your jobs.”

Nyssa couldn’t hide the proud smile on her lips. Becoming a model hadn’t been easy for her as she had had no support of her family. She often seemed like she didn’t care about a lot of things, but Felicity knew better. Nyssa cared deeply.

“So, is anyone of your family attending the wedding?” Felicity asked Sara. “Like your mom or Laurel at least?”

Nyssa put her hand over Sara’s at the question, offering silent comfort. It was a rare occasion when Nyssa was the one pushing for the touch. She knew that Sara needed it, so she offered it gladly.

Felicity didn’t know what exactly had happened between Sara, her mother and her sister. All she knew was that their relationship had broken apart when Sara’s parents had gotten divorced. Laurel had moved to Central City with her mother. Sara had stayed in Starling with her father. It had been a difficult situation, and they had never really recovered from it. When Quentin had died on duty, the split through the Lance Family had only deepened.

“Laurel and my mom will come for the rehearsal dinner and for the wedding,” she replied a little tensely, and not even her smile could cover that she wasn’t comfortable talking about it. “I only found the courage to call them up and invite them after you agreed to be my maid of honor. That way I could have a reason why I didn’t ask Laurel to be my maid of honor. It made things easier.”

“You still don’t want her to take over the task?”

“No,” Sara hurried to say and shook her head firmly. “It’s going to be a challenge to have my mom and Laurel there for the wedding as it is. The less time I spent with them alone, the better.”

Felicity smiled at her encouragingly. “Don’t worry. I’ve got your back.”

“I know you do.” Sara released a sigh of relief, her fingers tightening around Nyssa’s hand. “And I already have Thea.”

“I guess she still loves organizing parties?”

“That and celebrating them,” Nyssa replied. “The little Queen is full of energy.”

Felicity smiled, thinking about how much she had missed Thea too. She didn’t have any siblings. While she and Oliver had been together, she had loved to see Thea as her sister though. They had been incredibly close, the way good sisters were, and Felicity had felt more than relieved that Thea had stayed in touch with her even after she had moved to Hub City.

“She is full of energy,” Felicity agreed, nodding her head, “but she usually manages to leads her energy onto the right paths. I am sure she got a lot of great ideas when it came to the wedding.”

“Yes, she did.” Sara nodded her head firmly. “It was her idea to use the Queens’ garden for the wedding ceremony, and she drew sketches of how to set up the tents and everything.”

That sounded a lot like Thea, Felicity thought to herself. Oliver’s younger sister never did anything half-heartedly. She loved to throw herself into new tasks headfirst. If she did, she always made the best of it. She never gave up easily, and she had the power to convince people of her ideas.

“She once mentioned that she always imagined planning your wedding with Oliver that way.”

Felicity’s heart stood still for a second. It didn’t go unnoticed by Sara, who threw her fiancé another angry glare. Felicity lowered her gaze, trying to ignore it. She didn’t want to think about what could have been between her and Oliver. Maybe in a couple of years she could laugh about it, but she wasn’t ready to do so yet.

Clearing her throat, Felicity lifted her gaze. She put on a smile that she knew didn’t reach her eyes. She could see it in Sara’s eyes. Her friend was looking at her with worry, wordlessly asking if everything was okay. Everything that had even remotely referred to her past relationship with Oliver had been a big taboo these last years.

“I am sure that Thea and I will make a good team.”

“That’s good to hear.” Sara smiled. “Maybe you could call her up and ask her if she needs help for our masquerade ball tomorrow.”

“A masquerade ball?”

“It’s ridiculous,” Nyssa mumbled, “but it was two against one.”

Sara pushed her elbow into Nyssa’s ribs playfully, and she dropped her head back on the top of the backrest with a groan. Felicity could still see the smile on her lips. As grumpy as Nyssa seemed, she was exciting for her wedding and whatever that masquerade ball was.

“Nyssa and I decided to share our bachelorette party because we have the same friends, and it would have been stupid to make them choose which party to go to,” Sara explained. “You know I was never a fan of those games or running around and selling kisses or anything. At first, we considered inviting everyone to dinner and going into a club after that.”

“I guess Thea had different plans?”

The corners of Felicity’s lips twitched. She couldn’t imagine that Thea would ever accept a bachelorette party like that. The youngest Queen had an extraordinary taste, and she knew exactly what was needed for an unforgettable party.

“She said we should pep it up a little.” Sara chuckled, knowing as well as Felicity did that it had to be an underestimation. “She organized everything at the Queen Mansion, and she designed dresses for Nyssa and me. Speaking of dresses, your dress for the wedding has to be fitted.”

Felicity nodded her head. “I know. I have that covered.”

Sara perked up her eyebrows. “Is Thea going to-?”

“No, Oliver will do it,” Felicity replied and hurried to continue, so there wouldn’t be any awkward pause. “I met Oliver at Queen Consolidated yesterday, and he invited or rather ordered me to his atelier tonight.”

“Maybe if I ask Thea-“

“Oliver would never let anyone touch his designs,” Felicity interrupted Sara, shaking her head. “Don’t worry. If Oliver has ever been professional, it has been during work. It will take fifteen, maybe thirty minutes. I can handle that.”

Sara looked at her intensely, and Felicity had to lowered her eyes. She couldn’t deny that her stomach tightened whenever she thought about this dress fitting tonight. Knowing how thorough Oliver was with his work, he was going to get very close to her. Felicity didn’t know if she would be able to handle that. She had only managed to find her freedom at some point in the last three years because she had known that Oliver was thousands of miles away.

With Oliver back in her reach, she felt her old anger embracing her, and she had never liked what that anger had turned her into. Still, the anger was easier to focus on than it was to focus on the heartbreak.

“Felicity, what happened between you and Oliver?”

Looking at Sara, Felicity put on a sad smile and shrugged her shoulders. “It’s a long story.”

 * * *

 “This loft is one of my favorite realties. I don’t get the chance to show it to clients often. The happier I am about the opportunities to show it to you.”

The realtor – Felicity had tried without success to remember her name in the last thirty minutes, and she didn’t care enough to keep trying – pushed open the door. A brief glance inside proved to Felicity what she had suspected long before already. This was in no way in their budget, at least not the budget she and Oliver had agreed on.

Puckering her lips, Felicity shot Oliver a glare. Unimpressed by her anger, Oliver grinned. He laced his fingers through hers and lifted her hand to his lips. Taking the first step into the loft and pulling her inside with him, he kissed the back of her hand.

“The house was built in the 1920s by a local company that used it to provide living space to their industrial workers. Later, it was a normal apartment complex for the middle class. Last year, it was bought by one of Starling’s own property tycoons. He renovated the entire building, going as far as demolishing almost the entire inside to create fewer apartments with more space and luxurious appointments. The penthouse loft is the best example for that.”

Felicity looked around the spacious area. Kitchen, dining room and living room were combined to one. Over two metal stairs you could reach the gallery upstairs. Five doors led away from it to separate rooms, while there were open areas at the sides, so you could look down from upstairs. Through the windows that reached from the floor to the ceiling and covered three of the four walls, allowing her an extraordinary view. She could even see the harbor in the west of the city.

Squeezing Oliver’s hand, she let go of it to turn around herself and take in every inch of the loft. The dark flooring alone looked expensive. Combined with the brick walls and metal pillars, there was an industrial touch to it. It looked modern and old at the same time.

To Felicity’s surprise, she actually liked the loft, and that didn’t sit well with her.

“There are nearly 3100 square feet for you to spread yourself out,” the realtor added. The loft features soaring ceilings that allow the open construction over two floors with the spectacular gallery. The wide-plan hardwood floors are luxurious and work nicely into the industrial style that reminds of the old times of the building.”

Felicity flashed Oliver a brief glance. When he caught it, Felicity could see that he was biting back an amused grin. Neither of them was particularly fond of any kind of sales conversation which was why they had rejected the idea of hiring a realtor in the first place. Since their apartment hunting had been without success these last couple of weeks, they had figured that a realtor was their best choice of finding an apartment. Their first home together.

“You have a large fireplace in the living area and a luxurious designer kitchen over there. Are you interested in cooking?”

“Hell, no.” Felicity groaned at the idea of cooking and pointed back over her shoulder to where Oliver was already heading towards the kitchen. “He’s the cook in our relationship.”

“A man that can cook.” The realtor smiled at Oliver. “That’s impressive.”

“It’s just a hobby,” Oliver replied, shrugging his shoulders. “But I do need a good kitchen nonetheless.”

While Oliver and the realtor took in the kitchen, Felicity headed over to the living area. The fireplace looked indeed beautiful. She could imagine sitting in front of it during cold winter nights, working on her laptop while Oliver was drawing new sketches for his designs. Their feet would touch

Realizing that she could actually see herself living here, Felicity scrunched up her nose. The loft was nice. She couldn’t deny it even if she tried. Living here would be a dream come true – not necessarily her dream, but maybe the dream of eight-year-old her and definitely Oliver’s dream – if it wasn’t for the fact that she knew that they could never afford this.

Well, she could never afford this as she didn’t have millions of dollars in her account that was transferred to it from her escrow account when she had turned 21 years old. She hadn’t been born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Her parents weren’t billionaires.

She saw the exposé of the loft on the small table next to the fireplace where glasses and some water were prepared for the clients. Sitting down on the edge of the table, she brushed through the magazine.

In addition to the data and facts they had gotten from the realtor, exposé informed her that there were six apartments in the building. The loft was the most luxurious one, but the other lofts got the same opportunity of using the 24-hour house staff, the fitness room and courtyard in the back of the building.

That alone was scary, so Felicity was afraid of reading more. This life of luxury was nothing she thought she would ever get used to. She barely understood how people could live like that.

Continuing to read, she learned that there were four bedrooms and two bathrooms. The master bathroom even featured spa-like elements like a rain shower and a whirlpool, the master bedroom had a separate area that was already furnished with custom closets and parts of its ceiling consisted of glass. The office was constructed by an icon in the tech-field, so it was designed for the work with several computers and monitors. The balcony led from the northern over the eastern to the southern side, catching some sunlight all day and offering enough space for small parties.

Long story short, the entire loft was like the modern version of a castle. It was beautiful, extraordinary, and it matched both of their demands for a good living and work space. It might be more Oliver’s style, but Oliver had quite a good style.

That still didn’t solve the problem that it was nothing she could afford. Glancing at the last side, Felicity almost fainted at the prize as well as the fact that this wasn’t a loft to rent. It should be sold for a cool 2,250,000 dollars.

“So, what do you think?” the realtor asked. “Should we go upstairs and take a look at the rest of the rooms?”

“Actually,” Felicity said before Oliver could answer, “I’d like to talk to Oliver for a second.”

“Of course.” The realtor’s smile widened although Felicity could see a little bit of frustration behind the smile. Felicity guessed that she had realized within a couple of minutes that Oliver was the one she had impressed more easily and Felicity was the one who needed more convincing. “I will wait outside.”

As soon as the door had closed behind the realtor, Felicity lifted the exposé.

“For sale for more than two million dollars?”

Oliver rolled his lips into his mouth and cocked his head, admitting defeat. With a sigh, Felicity dropped the exposé to the table. They were short on time when it came to finding a new home as it was. Now they had lost some more time and-

“Okay, listen,” Oliver interrupted her thoughts and hurried towards her, grabbing her hands. “I know we decided to rent something, but we haven’t found anything we liked. I figured that maybe we should try something else.”

“This is definitely something else.” Felicity chuckled dryly. “Oliver, this is a modern palace, and it is beautiful in all different ways, but it’s too expensive.”

“Two million dollars are peanuts.”

“For you.”

Oliver already opened his mouth and took in a deep breath to reply when he realized that he didn’t know what to say. Sighing, he puckered his lips and brushed the knuckles of his fingers over her cheek.

“Is that still important?” he asked eventually, frowning slightly. “What’s mine and what’s yours? We want to live here together, and this place could make us both very happy. Can’t things just be ours from now on?”

Felicity felt her heart warming at the suggestion. For Oliver, it would really be that easy. He would just buy the apartment and make her feel like it was theirs every time of the day. He would never mention the money again, not even when they were fighting which they rarely ever did anyway.

For her, it just wasn’t that easy.

Moving in together with her boyfriend was a big thing as it was. Moving in when your boyfriend payed the apartment felt too big of a step. She knew that she wouldn’t really depend on him as she was still earning her own money, but it still felt like she was making herself a little dependable of Oliver and his lifestyle. She wasn’t sure if she could do that.

“Okay, come here.” Oliver tugged at her hand, pulling her against him, so her back was resting against his chest. Turning her towards the living space, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and rested his chin on her shoulder. “We could place a fluffy carpet in front of the fireplace, so we can make love in front of the fire in cold winter nights. We could place a long wooden table over there where we have dinner together every night and tell each other about our days. Maybe that area upstairs could be used as my space to work from home, and you use the office. The loft is the perfect place to work, to live and to love.”

With resentment, Felicity realized that she could indeed see all of that. She could see where the furniture was placed, and she could see Oliver working in the open area upstairs. She could even hear the heels of her shoes on the metal stairs when she was running towards the door, late for work after Oliver had kept her in the shower for a little longer than her schedule would have allowed.

And still it didn’t believe the unwell feeling in the pit of her stomach when she thought about the costs of the loft. She didn’t want people to think that she was a gold digger. They thought that already, and they would certainly consider it proven if she moved into a loft that she could only live in because Oliver payed for it.

With a facial expression that she was sure showed how much she was caught in a dilemma, Felicity turned around to Oliver. He perked up his eyebrows, wordlessly prompting her to say what she was thinking. When Felicity bit down on her bottom lip instead, he chuckled softly.

“Let’s head home and discuss this,” Oliver suggested, freeing her bottom lip from the maltreatment of her front teeth by brushing his thumb over it. “We will find an agreement, I am sure.”

No sooner said than done, Oliver and Felicity left the loft. They told the realtor, who looked anything but happy, that they would call her and stepped outside on the sidewalk. Hand in hand, they headed back to Oliver’s apartment where they were staying most of the time.

“So, is the money the only reason you are against buying that loft?” Oliver asked eventually. “Or is there anything else?”

“I just never expected to live in something like that.” Felicity gestured back to the building. “Eight-year-old me who lived in an one-room apartment over a Turkish fast food restaurant would have loved that, but that version of me was just too much influenced by the fact that my dad left and pushed my mom and me into that kind of life.”

Felicity sucked in a deep breath. She didn’t like talking about her dad and being left by him. More than a decade had passed since then, but the pain was still deep.

Oliver squeezed her hand, offering silent support. Felicity smiled softly and leaned against Oliver’s arm even more. She knew that she could always tell him what was on her heart. He always listened, and he always caught her when she fell. It was one of the many reasons why she felt so safe with him.

“I always imagined something smaller and cozier,” she added eventually, “like a townhouse.”

“It’s still the townhouse that was shown to us by the owner last week, right?” Oliver asked, squeezing her hand. “That is why you can’t say yes to the loft.”

Smiling, Felicity rested her head against Oliver’s shoulder and sighed. It still amazed her how well he knew her. He had the talent to voice what she was thinking because she had found the right words to say it. She was feeling as understood as she had never felt before, and what was even more surprising was that Oliver still loved her.

The thought made Felicity’s smile widened, and her stomach started prickling. They had been together for two years now. While their love for each other had certainly grown stronger with time, she still had a giant crush for this big, grumpy man, who turned into a teddy bear when they were alone.

“If I am allowed to think ahead, I think the townhouse might make sense.” When Felicity shot him a glance, he added, “A home with a garden will be useful if we have a dog or maybe a kid one day.”

“I still have great plans for my career,” Felicity reminded him, but she couldn’t help her heart to beat twice as quickly as before at the thought of spending the rest of her life with Oliver. “There is no time for a dog or a kid right now. I still have a hundred things to do before I can even think about taking on tasks that have nothing to do with work. I mean I want to have a name like my name at the façade of some building like your father has with Queen Consolidated before I have a baby. If you want to have a baby and-”

Felicity hadn’t realized how quickly she had spoken until Oliver had suddenly stopped walking, framed her face with his hands and made her shut up by kissing her lips gently. It took her a moment before she let the feeling of his soft lips against hers and the tickling of his stubble around her mouth relaxed her. With a sigh, she melted against Oliver’s broad body and answered to the kiss.

When they broke the kiss, Felicity moved her tongue over her lips, chasing the last bit of Oliver’s taste on them. Opening her eyes, she found Oliver’s gaze already on her. He was smiling softly, soothingly even.

“I know that,” he told her with a gentle voice. “I meant one day far down the line, not now. We both have plans where for our careers, and we should follow them before we follow other plans, especially having a baby.”

Felicity nodded. “A dog would be nice though.”

“No way!” Chuckling, Oliver put his arm around her shoulders as they continued their way home. “A dog is only going to mess up with my designs.”

Felicity rolled her eyes, shaking her head. She doubted that there was a lot to mess up given the way Oliver worked. He loved to create chaos all around him while he was working. He claimed that there was some structure to his chaos, but Felicity doubted it. She kept her thoughts for herself though.

“Now, as for our new home, I guess that someone has to give in.”

Felicity nodded her head. They had seen uncountable apartments, and they could take a look at another hundred ones. They would never fully agree on anything. They came from two completely different lifestyles, and they had very contrary tastes. They needed to decide.

“Either the townhouse or loft,” Felicity thought out loud, nodding her head. “It will be one of those two, but someone has to give in.”

“And I guess we both know who it will be.”

Felicity nodded her head, repeating, “We both know who it will be.”

They just had to share a look for them to know that they didn’t have to say it out loud. They already knew who was going to give in. In those two years they had been together, Felicity had been the one to give in for the sake of freedom most of the time. Besides, she could see them living in the loft more than Oliver could probably see them living in the townhouse.

Felicity didn’t mind giving in though. A lot of things had changed for her in the last years, and there had been a lot of things she had never thought were good for her had turned into something great for her nonetheless. Having a boyfriend for one was not half as distracting from her career as she had thought it would be. Oliver supported her in everything he did, and he was wonderful in a million different ways. After eighteen months of doing a long-distance relationship, moving in together was the right move for both of them.

Their gazes met. They were both smiling happily that the first step to moving in together had finally been made. There was finally getting movement into the whole thing. Finally, finally, finally.

When Oliver suddenly wrapped his arms around her waist and scooped her up from the floor, swirling her around, Felicity chuckled. She put her arms as tightly around his neck as possible, holding onto him for dear life. While she was soon feeling dizzy from the swirling, she couldn’t stop laughing from joy.

Oliver kept his arms wrapped her around her tightly when he set her back to the floor, making sure that she wouldn’t lose her balance. He looked at her for a moment before he captured her lips in a hungry kiss. It told her all Felicity had to know although she knew it already. Oliver was looking forward to living with her just as much as she looked forward to it.

“We should sign the contract as quickly as possible.”

Felicity nodded her head. “Absolutely, but only after the first of April. I have-“

“-some other things to take care of, so you can start your new job at Merlyn Global in May.” Oliver pecked her lips. “I know.”

“The third of April would be perfect,” Felicity explained, remembering that it was a Monday. “At around eight.”

“Okay.” Oliver cocked his head. “I guess the loser can also make an appointment.”

Felicity hummed in agreement. It was better if she made that appointment anyway. Oliver might actually forget. He would never do so on purpose, but he just wasn’t that organized. There was a good reason his mother was the CEO of his company and not he himself.

“I am really happy we are moving in together,” Oliver whispered, moving his hand from the crown of her head back to her ponytail and wrapping it around his fingers as he loved to do. “Finally.”

Felicity smiled. “Finally.”

Oliver laced his fingers through hers as they continued their way home. Felicity rested her head back against his shoulder and put her free hand onto his bicep. She loved how her hand was just big enough to cup the muscle.

“We should celebrate our decision tonight.”

“I can’t. I’m going out with Sara and Nyssa for some drinks.”

Oliver groaned, reaching into the pocket of his leatherjacket to pull out his cigarettes. “I should have gotten involved with someone who wasn’t that beloved. Maybe that way my girlfriend would have time to- hey!”

Frowning, Oliver watched Felicity steal the cigarette from his lips before he could light it up. She trashed the cigarette in the first trashcan they walked past and quickly snatched the rest of the cigarettes from him too. With a triumphant smile on her lips, Felicity looked at Oliver, who was still frowning.

“You promised me that you’d stop smoking if I moved in with you,” Felicity reminded him. “That was the deal, Honey.”

When Oliver just grumbled again, Felicity chuckled. She was sure that she was going to suffer as much as he would these next few weeks until he had gotten used to the lack of nicotine. She was the one who would have to endure his moodiness that would probably come with the deprivation.

She didn’t mind. Oliver was worth it. What they had with each other was worth whatever struggle they might have to face to move in together as Felicity had never been this happy. For the first time, she felt like she was exactly where she was supposed to be. For the first time, she had a real home.

* * *

With a shake of her head, Felicity pushed those memories away. It wasn’t like she had forgotten all the good times she had ever had with Oliver. She knew that they had had a great time together. Otherwise, he would have never been able to hurt her the way that he had. The way he had ended things between them should just overweight whatever nostalgic warmth embraced her heart at the memory of good times.

Standing in front of OJQ, Felicity felt the mix of anger and sadness playing inside of her that had taken control of her the moment the plane had landed in Starling yesterday. She was sure if she didn’t get a hold of it soon, she would probably grow an ulcer in theses few days that she stayed here. She couldn’t have that.

Felicity shook her head once more. After three years, one might think that you got over the anger of a break-up. She had never been a resentful person, but she was resentful when it came to this she guessed. The betrayal coming from the person you had trusted the most was always the first after all.

Taking in a deep breath, Felicity tried to distract herself from her anger. She hated the idea that she was the angry girlfriend, and the last thing she wanted was to cause a scene. She was an adult and a successful business woman, so she would behave like one.

From what she could see of OJQ so far, Felicity guessed she wasn’t the only one who had become quite successful in the last three years. Back when she and Oliver had still been together, he had just started his own fashion label, and he worked in a tiny shop. By now, the administration of OJQ had moved into a modern office building, while the creative department was working in an annex.

Felicity knew that Oliver liked to have noises and movement around him. He could never work all alone in a wide room. He did, however, hate to be annoyed by people from the administration while he was doing his job. He wanted to focus solely on his designs.

With a glance at her watch, Felicity decided to go in. The longer she would wait, the harder it would be. The sooner she started, the sooner it was finished though.

The front desk wasn’t staffed, so Felicity just strolled through the annex. The industrial style reminded her a lot of the loft they had planned to rent. The thought made her heart tighten painfully for a second, but she pushed the thought away quickly.

“Oliver?” Felicity called out. “Oliver, I’m here. Come on, let’s get this over with quickly, so we can all go back to-“

Felicity stopped when a hulk of a man with arms like the trunk of a tree approached her. He could easily be frightening if it wasn’t for the warm smile on his face.

“Ms. Felicity Megan Smoak,” he said and spread his arms. “It’s great to see you again.”

Chuckling, Felicity stepped into John Diggle’s arms and let him hug her. When his arms wrapped around her small body, she thought about how easily he could crush her. She knew that he would never do that. John Diggle was a gentle giant and a person you could trust blindly.

“You look great, John,” Felicity told him when she pulled back. “Really great.”

“So do you.” John squeezed her fingers. “Are you here for the wedding?”

Felicity nodded her head. “Yes, I just arrived yesterday, and now I gotta fit my dress. He is lucky that Sara convinced me that I had to wear one of his designs. I would have definitely fought him on that, but I don’t fight with the brides. It’s their day, so I do whatever they need me to do, even if I have to be here for that.”

John hummed vaguely. In his eyes, she could see that he knew exactly that these next thirty minutes wasn’t going to be easy for her. Maybe Oliver had already told him about it.

“I was just about to leave, but now I wonder if I should stay in case you go at each other’s throats. Sara’s and Nyssa’s dresses aren’t through the last fitting yet either, and I am sure the sudden death of the designer and the maid of honor that short before the wedding would overshadow the occasion.”

“I hope it won’t be that bad.”

Felicity mumbled the words. She couldn’t deny that there was a real chance that that might actually happen. Three years of bottled up anger could easily lead her to claw out Oliver’s eyes. She wasn’t proud about it, but it was the truth.

“Do you-?”

Before John could ask his question, Oliver came from one of the rooms. He only shot Felicity a brief glance before he looked away. His facial expression darkened, and his muscles tensed.

“You’re here.” His voice sounded as tense as his body looked. “Hurry up and put on the dress. I don’t have much time.”

With that, he disappeared behind a curtain. Felicity shot John a glance and saw that he sighed. She guessed that he had been on the receiving end of Oliver’s mood most days. If John hadn’t the patience of a saint, he would have probably quit his job years ago.

“I will leave you two to it.”

Felicity nodded and hugged John once more, whispering into his ear, “If they find his dead body tomorrow, I hope you testify in my favor because it will have been out of self-defense.”

John chuckled and kissed her temple. “See you soon, Felicity.”

“Yeah, see you.”

Turning her head back over her shoulder, Felicity watched John leave. She took in a deep breath before she followed Oliver to the area behind the curtain.

The area was separated to only one side, so there was a clear view to the workplaces of the dressmakers that weren’t occupied right now. A giant table made of wood was placed in the middle of Oliver’s working area. Bales and shreds of cloth as well as papers with half-finished designs were lying around on the table and the floor, creating the usual chaos Oliver loved to work in.

“You can change in there.” Oliver nodded his head towards a curtained area in the back of his atelier without looking at her. “The dress is already there.”

“Of course, your Majesty,” Felicity mumbled to herself. “Your wish is my command.”

Rolling her eyes, she hurried towards the changing room, put away her purse and opened the clothes bag where her dress was kept. Felicity took a step back and puckered her lips, taking the dress in.

The long dress had a delicately lavender color. The skirt was made of several layers of flowing fabric. The top was made of a half-transparent fabric. Thanks to the embroidery with sparkling pearls, it still covered most of the skin. It formed a sweetheart neckline, so the cleavage, shoulders and arms were just covered by the transparent fabric. A small belt accentuated the waist.

Felicity liked the dress which angered her more than she had thought. Oliver shouldn’t be able to meet her taste that easily after three years.

Swallowing down her anger or annoyance or whatever it was, Felicity changed into the dress and looked herself up and down in the mirror. The dress looked even better on her body than it had looked on the hanger. It suited her figure, making her look a little slimmer than she was. It didn’t scratch her at all like she had feared it would. It was actually kind of comfortable.

“Are you getting ready today?” Oliver asked from outside. “Or don’t you know how to put on Haute Couture?”

Felicity rolled her eyes, pushing the curtain aside. She had a snide answer on the tip of her tongue, she didn’t get to voice it. The way Oliver looked at her, his pupils blown wide and his lips slightly opened, made every word die on her lips. She knew that expression, knew what it meant, and she couldn’t prevent it to cause a prickling in her center. Nobody had ever looked at her with so much desire like Oliver.

She glanced at his lips. They looked heavenly kissable, and kissing they could. That was what she remembered. She didn’t remember what had been their last kiss. She didn’t remember exactly what it felt like to kiss them. All she remembered that she had loved to kiss them.

Taken aback and even overwhelmed by her reaction to the way he looked at her, Felicity quickly lowered her gaze. She sucked in a deep breath, doing her best to push away whatever she had thought and felt a second ago. She had come to Starling for Sara and Nyssa, and she was using her trip to the forbidden city as she liked to call Starling for work. Those were the only reasons she had come here, just as it should be. After everything that had happened between her and Oliver, she had to focus on her anger if that was her only chance at withstanding him.

Only chance at withstanding him. The words echoed in her head. Oliver was handsome, hot even. He wasn’t irresistible. She had just underestimated her reaction to seeing him again which had made her weak for a second. It had confused her. If she just focused on his many bad traits, that little bit of weakness she still had for him would soon be forgotten.

“Get on the pedestal.”

His moodiness was certainly a good starting point. Oliver could look at her like he wanted to devour her in one moment and order her around coldly the next. She guessed the expression in his eyes had been directed at his latest design rather than the person in it.

Not surprisingly, the thought relaxed her a little.

Sucking in another deep breath, Felicity stepped onto the pedestal and let Oliver walk around her, to take in the dress. His face was completely focused. When he was at work, he was always completely focused because Oliver loved his job as much as she loved hers.

When his eyes met hers briefly, Felicity hurried to look away. She just focused on the dressmakers’ work stations. Some of them were arranged neatly. Every reel and every pincushion had its place. Others were just as untidy as Oliver’s atelier. Felicity was sure that those were the people Oliver preferred working with.

Getting closer to her, Oliver started working on the seams. He pinned it at her hips, at her waist and some other parts. Like it usually was when he was working on his designs, he was very thorough and absolutely focused. He ordered her around, making sure he got the access to the dress he needed.

Felicity just followed his orders, distracting herself by going through some reports mentally. Oliver wasn’t the only one who could focus on work after all.

It wasn’t until Oliver had worked his way to the front of the dress and started working on the neckline of it, Felicity felt her focus waver. Oliver’s face was so close that she had trouble not staring at him, no matter how hard she tried looking away. Oliver’s hands were brushing against her cleavage as he pinned the neckline. His breath was ghosting over her skin, causing goosebumps to spread there.

Felicity pressed her lips together, taking deep breaths. She tried not to let Oliver notice how much his close presence affected her. She wished she herself hadn’t noticed it.

Why did he have to smell so good? Under the biting scent of nicotine on his skin, Felicity could smell the scent that was truly Oliver’s. It was indescribable, but it made a flood of warmth go through her. His smell brought back the feelings of the good times, but Felicity couldn’t have that.

When she had finally agreed to come to Starling, she had thought that she could finally make a real cut. She had imagined running into Oliver, swallowing down her anger and finding the strength to forgive him. She had thought that would be the final step to making peace with what had happened between them.

Obviously, she had been wrong.

Oliver’s fingertips grazed against her skin purposefully now, following her goosebumps. A blush spread across her skin wherever he touched her.

Swallowing down the lump in her throat, Felicity met Oliver’s eyes. Just like when she had stepped out of the changing room, his pupils were blown wide and his lips were slightly parted. The sight made her breathing falter until it got stuck in her throat.

Felicity told herself not to do it. These last three years, she had found her peace. There had still been uncountable unanswered questions, but she had almost accepted that she would never get the answers. She had learned to live with it. If she drew a line here, maybe she could still go back to Hub City without feeling like she had to start all over before she had allowed her anger to cover the pain.

If she crossed this line, she possibly risked all steps of recovery she had already managed to take. Crossing this line was going to be a mistake.

It didn’t matter how many times Felicity told herself that. She repeated the words in her head again and again and again. Yet, she started moving at the same time Oliver did like some invisible power was drawing them towards one another. One moment they were still looking at each other intensely. The next, their lips were already clashing together.

That was what it had always felt like to kiss Oliver Felicity thought to herself when she felt like a thousand little fires were lightened up inside of her. They spread through her veins like wildfire, consuming every part of her. She was almost that embraced by the feeling that she could barely enjoy the feeling of his soft lips moving against hers, his tongue dancing with hers and his stubble tickling the skin around her lips.

All thoughts and all other emotions washed away as desire flooded through her.

Oliver’s arms wrapped around Felicity’s body. Strong as he was, he embraced her so tightly that she could feel his body oh so well. His biceps pressed against her sides. His hands roamed over her back. His abs pressed against her stomach. His hips urged towards her.

With a deep sigh, Felicity moved her fingers into Oliver’s hair. She pressed herself closer to him and stroked her tongue deeper into his mouth. Oliver moaned into the kiss in response. His fingers dug into her skin slightly like he was trying to hold onto her for dear life.

The little voice that had warned her of this before tried fight itself to Felicity’s consciousness, but all her sensations distracted her too much. The feeling of Oliver’s lips against her, the taste of his tongue, the vibration that went through his chest when he moaned against her lips. All that distracted her way too much to listen to any doubt. She was caught in the moment, unable to think about what had been or might be.

Soon, Oliver’s fingers were taking hold of the zipper at the waist of her dress. Without breaking the kiss, he lowered the zipper and brushed his fingers against her skin. The touch was featherlight at first. When Felicity arched her back, pressing her chest even stronger against him, he seemed to become braver. His hand moved into the small slit of fabric until it rested against the small of her back.

Felicity sighed into Oliver’s mouth. His hand was wonderfully warm, and that warmth spread across her skin now. Oliver’s fingers moved along her spine, making her melt into him even more. She could feel how calloused his fingertips were, especially against her soft skin.

More was all Felicity could think. She wanted more. She needed more. Everything inside of he was aching, demanding to fill the void those last three years had left with her. Her imagination or maybe her memory or even both had been sparked by, and she knew there was no going back now.

Quickly, Felicity grabbed the hem of Oliver’s shirt and pulled it up his body. It took a moment before Oliver pulled back and lifted his arms over his head, so she could take it off. Before she even got the chance to just drop the piece of clothing to the floor, Oliver’s lips were already on hers again, ravishing her.

Felicity put her hands to his shoulders. His skin was soft compared to the tight muscle it embraced. Felicity couldn’t withstand the desire to dig her short fingernails into his skin gently and scratch them down his back. Oliver growled against her lips in response, and Felicity couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Just you wait.”

Oliver mumbled the words against her lips, and Felicity already considered pulling back to tease him, but Oliver was quicker to react. He grabbed the skirt of her dress and pulled it over her head. Felicity could feel the pinups scratching over her skin, but to her surprise, neither of it pricked her too badly.

With a carelessness that Felicity had never seen when it came to how Oliver treated his designs, he threw the dress across the room to the floor. For the break of a second, she wondered if they had to pin it again now.

Oliver pushed his hands behind her knees and lifted her against him, making her focus switch back to him and only him. It was easy to focus on him because her naked chest was pressing to his chest now, her nipples rubbing against his heated skin. That fact that with her legs wrapped around his hips, she could feel his hardened member pressing against her panties only made her focus on him more.

Her hips started moving against him, rubbing her aroused sex against the zipper of his jeans to get the friction she needed so much. It offered some release, but not nearly enough. Her movements quickened, trying to get even more. Oliver groaned in response. His front teeth grazed against her bottom lip.

There was something raw to the way they moved together on instinct, following their need for release and nothing else. The rawness of the moment made them only drive forward even more purposefully. They were tearing at each other’s clothes, trying to get the last barriers away from between them.

While Oliver pulled his pants and boxer briefs down in one go, Felicity got up on her knees and got rid of her panties. As soon as Oliver had rolled the condom onto his cock, Felicity crawled to hover over him. Oliver positioned his cock at her entrance. Their eyes locked. Slowly, she sank down on him.

Her lips fell open at the feeling of how he eased into her. His cock stretched the slick walls of her channel, already fluttering around him. As much as she needed him to fill her immediately, she enjoyed the slow penetration too much to hurry up, especially given how tense Oliver’s jaw was. He was just as torn between the need of a quick relief and the enjoyment of slowing things down as she was.

Once his cock was buried deep inside of her, Felicity stilled. They looked at each other intensely, breathing the same air as they were panting from the arousal that was already taking hold of them. Desire and need were written all over Oliver’s face.

He was the one to move first. He shifted his hips, thrusting shallowly. The movement was all Felicity needed to have her need for more overweighting the enjoyment of slowing things down. It didn’t seem to be different for Oliver.

They moved together in perfect synch like it hadn’t been years that they had had sex the last time. When Oliver’s hips lifted off the floor slightly, Felicity pressed hers down onto him, making him go particularly deep. Their movements were quick and fast. Skin slapped against skin and filled the room, mixing with their heavy panting and low moans.

When Oliver leaned his head forward, Felicity wanted to meet him halfway, but Oliver had different plans. He avoided her lips and brushed his lips against the side of her neck instead. He kissed, licked and nibbled her skin, making Felicity bite down on her bottom lip to strangle her moans.

Soon, Oliver’s lips traveled further down. He kissed a long path from the side of her neck over her cleavage towards her breast. His lips were so close to her nipple that they brushed against it whenever Felicity took in a deep breath. Teasing her, he stayed just out of reach until Felicity couldn’t wait any longer. She moved her fingers into his hair and pulled his head towards her breast.

“Oh god.”

The choked moan escaped her lips at the rough feeling of his tongue moving against her nipple relentlessly. Her breathing became shorter, and a jolt of pleasure drove through her core. Her hips moved down onto Oliver’s even harder.

It felt good having him surround her and inside of her, so incredibly good. His strong arms kept the coolness of the room away from her. His chest helped her balancing her movements. His cock was filling and stretching her just the right way, hitting all the sensitive spots that increased her pleasure quickly.

Indeed, it didn’t take long for her pleasure to rise to a height. She could feel it in the way her lower stomach tingled and her inner walls fluttered even more around Oliver’s cock. She was sure that Oliver could feel it because he suddenly angled his head back and looked at her, his iris darkened and his pupils dilated.

With a long moan, Felicity came. The pleasure spread through her, causing her muscles to spasm from the energy running through her. Even in her haze, she could see the way Oliver looked at her. The expression on his face was intense.

Just when the last waves of pleasure ran through her, Oliver’s hips stuttered. He came with a deep groan, resting his head forward against her chest. His warm breath ghosted over her breast, causing her nipples to harden even more.

They continued moving together lazily, riding out the last waved of their pleasure while they were trying to catch their breaths. Felicity was still holding onto Oliver’s shoulders that were covered with a thin layer of sweat now.

Wrapping his arms around Felicity’s back tightly, Oliver leaned back until his back rested against the floor and Felicity was sprawled out on his chest. Her head was resting against his shoulder, her right leg was lying between both of his.

Carefully, Felicity shifted her hips until Oliver’s cock slid out of her. They both moaned lowly at the feeling of being separated. Oliver’s arms only wrapped around her more tightly.

They lay together quietly. Neither of them said a word. Neither of them moved. Felicity didn’t even dare to look at Oliver’s face. All she would have to do was angling her head back to look at him, but she didn’t dare to do so. Instead, she kept her eyes on her hand that was resting against Oliver’s lower stomach were a thin line of hair ran from his belly button down to his lap.

Now that the haziness of desire and pleasure started to slowly fade away, that little voice that had already told her that she would regret this reported itself back to her. The doubts that had been washed away by her desire before came back with force and caused her heart was still pounding in her chest from her orgasm, was racing even faster now.

This had been a mistake, a terrible mistake even. Oliver had been her first great love, the person who had made her believe in love, but she had been burnt so terribly by being with him. She knew that she couldn’t have that happen to her again, especially since she had proven to fall for him so easily. He was like a drug that she couldn’t resist if it was rubbed in her face.

 “So,” Felicity said carefully, and the tremble in her voice gave away how tense and nervous she was, “that happened.”

At her words, Oliver’s muscles tensed. Hesitatingly, Felicity angled her head back to see that his face showed the same tension she felt in his body. His eyes were darkened, but it was a different kind of darkness there than before. It didn’t come from passion or arousal. It came from anger and regret.

At least they could agree that this had been a mistake that should never happen again.

“I will make sure the dress is ready for the wedding,” he said, straightening up. “I will bring the dress to my parents’ house, so you don’t have to take care of anything.”

“Thanks.”

Oliver grabbed a large piece of clothing that he handed to her. Quickly, Felicity wrapped it around her breast to cover herself, watching Oliver gathering his clothes and getting to his feet. He stood in the middle of his atelier, obviously unsure what exactly he should do now.

Since the situation was already more awkward than Felicity could endure easily, she cleared her throat and whispered, “I’ll get dressed and find my way out.”

She could see Oliver biting down on his tongue. He looked uncomfortable, but she couldn’t and wouldn’t take that away from him. Sucking in a deep breath, she got to her feet and disappeared behind the curtain where her clothes were waiting for her.

Holding her breath, she listened to what was happening in the atelier. There was a long moment of silence. She couldn’t even hear Oliver breathe, and she wondered if he was holding his breath the way she did.

“Fuck,” he whispered eventually, his voice so low that she could barely hear him, and released a long breath. “Just fuck.”

A couple seconds more passed in silence before she heard footsteps and knew that Oliver was leaving. At least that way she hopefully didn’t have to see him again when she left.

“Terrible mistake,” Felicity whispered, hurrying to put on her clothes. “Stupid me.”

* * *

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