#love that my posts resonate with people and get wide reach

[mythicalcoolkid]

Just wanted to say I've read through a lot of your posts, and you are amazingly well-spoken and thoughtful, particularly in regards to LGBTQ issues in society. I am a follower and a fan. You rock!🏳️‍🌈❤️

Thank you so much, this made my day. I pride myself on being nuanced and thorough but sometimes on the Worst Faith Approach website it's easy for me to feel like I explain myself poorly. It means a lot to hear that other people understand what I mean and that I actually do explain myself well - some people just love getting angry and that's not my problem

[agoodfictitle-shadowban]

From Vormir, With Love - Part 1

Summary: As you're being chased you crash on Vormir. So far, so bad. But things take a turn when you come face to face with a marooned Black Widow.

Tags: strangers to lovers, love in space angst on earth, slavery mention, alien abduction, post Endgame, will add as we go on

Word count: 3.4k

A/n: I hate tumblr and its stupid shadowban function, but i love you guys too much so here you go! Hope you like that one

Taglist: tbd

You look up from the helm, where the lights are flashing warnings. Shit, that's bad, you think, the thrusters are about to die.

"Y/n! You need to finish that shit NOW!" You hear the voice coming from behind you, a metallic clang the only indication that your co-captain is trying to keep your spaceship afloat. "The thrusters are gonna crash in two minutes, top!"

Definitely bad, you remarks uselessly in your mind. You almost look back to tell her that you're doing your best but the ship shakes under a new hit from the enemy, and so, you keep your mouth shut for now.

"Alright, alright…" you mutter as you navigate closer to the planet.

It's a barren rock with bodies of liquid across the land, and a sun constantly eclipsed. You'd never been here before, but as you approach, you feel a profound dread knot in your stomach. You ignore the feeling and focus on the descent.

You feel the winds change around the ship as the resistance increases, and you find cover from the next burst of lasers that breaks some rocks clean off. You're far from it already when the rumble of the mutilated landscape reaches your ears. You fly through a narrow pass before the opportunity you were looking for presents itself. You shot two blasts towards the ground where steam escaped from rocky cones. The crusty dirt flies around you and heavy plumes of steam escape from everywhere under the sudden pressure and destruction, offering you cover and scrambling the heat sensors of the enemy ship. You make a brutal turn to face them once you reach the other end of the geysers' field, and as it appears in front of you, you fire, destroying it and flying through the debris it leaves behind.

"Hell yeah! June! Have you seen that?!" You turn around, and your eyes go wide when you notice black ashes appearing in the cockpit. As it happens, the thrusters start to fail.

"We're gonna crash, Y/n, look at the damn road!"

"There are no roads in the sky!"

There is screaming, and you manage to stabilize your ship before it finally crashes. You groan, feeling like every bone in your body is about to break, and you look around you.

"Everyone okay?" You ask, and you're answered by various sounds and confirmations that no one is hurt. "Perfect. Now." You get off your seat and unholster your blaster, pointing it at the head of one of the newly appeared people. "What the fuck just happened?"

The newly appeared people you don't recognize, but you know what they are. Aliens. Slavers. And now the question is: will you have to fight for your life, because those assholes look very well equipped, better than you and June after you spent years in space with little resources. You look in the fully black eyes of the alien with long saber-tooth cats-like fangs.

"You tell us, human," he answers. "We're just the maintenance crew."

"Very well armed for a maintenance crew," you sass and he growls.

"This is just a vacuum." As he says that, he reaches for the weapon strapped to his back. "Look." He pushes a button and the very distinct sound of air being aspirated resonates between the walls of the ship. Your brows knit together, but you put your weapon down.

"Weird place to keep a vacuum but okay…" you mutter as you look at the rest of the crew in overalls. They seem harmless enough, besides from the predator teeth guy. You offer him a hand and he takes it to help himself up. "My name is Y/n."

"I'm Tim," he says in a rumble, and you frown.

"Tim? That's a very human name."

"Don't insult me. It means great warrior in my language. Tim."

"I swear, it's a human name."

"Are you sure your translator isn't broken?" He groans and shows his teeth, his ears falling flat against his cranium, so you decide to drop the subject. No need to antagonize your new guests.

"Anyway, guess you were taking care of the ship when you got dusted."

"Dusted?"

Oh boy. You had to catch those aliens about everything that happened, that was going to be a pain in the ass, so you decide your best course of action. "JUNE!"

There, that should get you out of trouble. Your best friend and crewmate finally emerges from the ship's entrails and looks around. "What the–"

You shrug. Her problem now. You let yourself fall back on your seat while you consult the star map.

LMC-H 13g.

Or at least that's what the translation is giving you. In any case, it clearly isn't Earth. You let out a deep sigh, and it gets the attention of someone in the ship that you barely noticed until then. One of the aliens that reappeared stops listening to June's explanation and approaches. She's less threatening than the others, with a tall body but frail members with three joints, like those of a praying mantis. She also sports the features of an insect on her face, and you suspect she might not be as frail as she appears. You eye her suspiciously, her fully black eyes staring at you with a chilling intensity. You can't help but put your hand on your weapon.

"I don't mean any harm," she reassures you with a raspy, almost tantalizing voice, mandibules clicking around her mouth. "I just want to know where we are."

You still your hand, but don't move it away, simply orient the arm on which the coordinates' screen is suspended to show it to her. You don't even want to attempt to pronounce it.

"Vormir…" she whispers. You feel the fear in her voice, see it in the way her mandibules move nervously.

"Vormir?" You ask back, looking for information. During the last few years, you learned that information held lots of power. Before that, you thought it was a saying that only made sense in books while you lead a peaceful life on Earth.

Her black scleras and irises turn back to you. Her lateral lids close in a microsecond. "It's a bad place, I heard whispers of people disappearing around this system, or weird frequencies coming from here. We should go as soon as we can."

"Wish we could, but the bastard after us fried our thrusters. We're gonna need to get them working again."

"Are people after you?" You wince at her question, but nod. The insect-like alien nervously rubs her eye with her arm as she looks away. Not the most disturbing sight you witnessed before. "Who?"

You point at the insignia on her overall, a circular patch with a blue 'x' with a white star on each bronze section it makes. It's the flag of an alien race living on the edge of known space and civilization, nomads slavers with barely anything to scrap by because they are chased around by most known authorities.

"Those guys." You decide to keep the reason why to yourself, since you know nothing of your stowaways for now. "We bought something under their nose and they didn't like it," you lie. The alien's mandibule seems to nod at the explanation.

"Explains why you threatened us. But we're nothing like them."

You adjust your position and the screen you moved earlier as a sign that you were getting back to work. "We'll see about that."

The conversation is over, she understands, and you look at the star chart. This was supposed to be your last mission before you could get back to Earth, so of course you had to get unlucky. You let out a new sigh and got up to grab your exploration material. The ship already told you outside was safe to breathe, but the gravity was slightly higher than on Earth. Seems like I'm getting my workout in, you think and giggle to yourself before covering it with a cough.

With that, you equip your toolbelt and your protections, in case an enemy survived your attack and subsequent crash.

"I'm gonna check the enemy crash site," you tell June who is recounting to the others what happened the previous five years. The door's pneumatics hiss when you press the button to open it, and soon you have a platform to get outside. When you touch down on the ground, you look around. This place really is just a rock with a few big puddles. That's going to make walking around a lot more annoying.

You set out into the unknown.

Walking around the planet is hard, but you quickly get used to it. You find a good rhythm and settle into it, which allows you to arrive only after twenty minutes to the other crash site. Bits and pieces of the ship litter the ground around you, some on fire, along with some body parts. You approach a charred body and give it a small kick, almost to make sure it's truly dead, before you keep walking around. It's easy to find an opening inside the ship through a hatch. The metal floor resonates under your feet when you land inside, and you look around. The dying lights flash like a gas station neon tube about to surrender, so you get your flashlight on before you set to look around the silent ship. You see a few more bodies around, and after taking anything useful they have on them, you keep walking. You're quick to find the command room, and once there, you approach an operating workstation. It takes a few minutes for you to get it running - after working with that technology for five years you're used to it now - and you navigate the applications, where you find the one giving you the general state of the ship. You save that information so you can bring it back to June, and if you're lucky, it will save you time on repairs.

After a quick round on the ship and no enemy in sight, you go back to your own ship.

*

"A week," June announces, her eyes on schematics you can't even begin to comprehend.

"We don't have enough resources to survive a week here," you whisper to her. "Not if we have to take care of those guys too." You point your finger to the sleeping aliens in the ship. They had to find whatever spot was available, as there were five of them, and only four beds - two belonging to June and you.

"Why are we even helping them? You've seen their uniforms, they're the enemy," she comments and finally looks at you.

You look at them.

"I mean, they're not really like them, so, they were probably slaves too. And they haven't been hostile."

Your friend sighs, and you shrug. She always says you have a soft heart, and maybe she's right, but right now what else were you supposed to do? Leave them there to their own device? They would die.

"I looked at the other ship's schematics, their rations should have survived the crash. At least their water."

June opens a plan for you to look at, and you lean closer to get a better look. You remember walking by the door she's showing you, but it was locked and you had no way to open it.

"Alright, I'll go back tomorrow to open it." You declare. "Or at least try to," you add, less assurance in your voice while the plan disappears in favor of some ship's part.

But as you discuss repairs with June, you fail to notice the slitted pupils staring at your back.

*

The feeling of dread never goes away, no matter how long you're staying on the deserted planet, no matter how hard you try to ignore it, it stays at the back of your mind, like an itch you can't scratch.

The good news is that with some of your new friends you manage to salvage enough resources to repair your ship. The bad news is that you keep failing at opening the food compartment, and your rations are dwindling way too fast. After three days, you're starting to see the end of it and the urgency to open that damn door is weighing heavily on your shoulders. You kept working on it the last few nights, and tonight you're going back to it. You're now used to the small trek across the wasteland and can do it without any trouble, but as you do this time, you feel like someone is staring at you. No matter how much you look around, you don't see anyone, so you put it on the account that you're tired and walking at night. You reach the crashed ship, then the door, and to your surprise you find it open. Immediately you reach for your weapon. The now familiar weight in hand, you take a step inside the room.

Packages of dehydrated food litter the room, with some jugs of water. They probably fell from the shelves during the crash, but they still seem intact. You look around, your heart beating against your ear and your breath heavy with adrenaline despite your attempt at not making any noise. You reach a corner at the end of a line of shelves, putting your back against the left one before you surge in the corner, weapon pointed in front of you to look both right then left. No one is there, and you let out a sigh of relief.

"Guess whoever was there already left," you tell yourself in an attempt to regain your composure, letting your weapon lay low. You briefly wonder who else could be there. Was the planet inhab–

You swallow hard when you feel the cold metal at the back of your head.

"You guessed wrong," the cold, feminine voice rings in your ears. Fuck. You should have been more careful, now you're fucked. But not dead, you think as the firearm recedes. "Put your weapon on the ground, your hands up, then turn around, slowly."

You do as you're told, slowly reaching to the ground where you put your weapon, before you stand up and put your hands in the air. With fear in your guts, you turn around. The stranger is in the shadows, and you can't see her beside her silhouette.

You finally gather the courage to speak. "Who are you?"

Despite your best efforts, your voice shakes slightly when you talk. The woman steps forward, out of the shadow, and for a second you forget all your fears. Not only are you surprised to see she's human, but she's also gorgeous. Her red hair is tied in a braid, the strands degrading to blond towards the end. She has the bluest eyes you've ever seen before, and her face is perfect, with a pretty nose and full lips - too bad she is frowning and pointing a gun at you currently. You can't help but feel like you've seen her somewhere before.

"I'm the one asking the questions," she says, and you're not in a position to negotiate, so you nod. "What are you doing on Vormir?"

"I was on a retrieval mission, but I got tailed and now I'm grounded here," you answer, leaving out the small detail that you aren't alone. "I'm just here to get some supplies."

You know you have to look as little of a threat as possible if you want to get out of here alive. You see the cogs turn in her head before she speaks again. "What happened to the ones who were after you?"

Your eyes wander away from the woman. "They're a bit everywhere around us," you answer with a grimace. So much for looking harmless. She squints her eyes at you.

"Does that mean you have a ship with you?" You can see where she's getting at, and you frown. You answer with a simple nod right before something moves at the corner of your eye.

Suddenly, a massive form tackles the woman in front of you and pushes her against a shelf in a roar, her gun being thrown away in the impact.

Tim. Did he follow you here? Shit. You don't have the time to say or do anything, the woman is throwing Tim away with barely any difficulty. One of the shelf topples and you have to jump away so you don't get crushed. You look around and see she's reaching for her weapon. By reflex, you jump on it and grab it before she can reach it, pointing it at her. She kicks it out of your hands in the air and her hand reaches up, but before she can catch it Tim is back up and charges at her. She has to put one hand on his shoulder before she jumps above him and falls back on her feet gracefully, almost like a dancer.

You flap your hand once or twice, to shake off the pain, looking at Tim and the mysterious woman having it out. She clearly has the advantage, but if Tim manages to actually hit her even once he would probably do a lot of damages. You have to find a way to stop them, because you were pretty sure the woman just needed a ride, and Tim intervened only when he saw she was a threat - but was she, really?

You grab your own weapon while no one is paying you any mind, and fire a round to the ceiling. It bounces back, almost grazing you. You manage to keep your face calm and barely avoid a yelp, but still you clear your throat.

"Okay, that's enough you two!" They pause, Tim his claws up in the air, ready to strike, the woman in a low, close to the ground fighting pose. You point at Tim. "First, what are you doing here?"

"I followed you. You were acting suspicious," he explains, and you sigh.

"I was looking for food, trying not to have people panic."

"You did so good…" he mumbles sarcasticly and the redhead snickers. You send him a glare.

"You, do you need a ride? Cause if so, no need to threaten me. Sheesh." You roll your eyes, and she arches an eyebrow.

"I had to make sure you wouldn't try to kill me."

That makes you groan and you pass your hand on your face, bringing your loose strand of hair back only for them to fall around your face again.

"I think I can try to contain myself," you say with a hint of sarcasm while you holster your weapon. "Tim?"

He groans and crosses his arms, ears still halfway flattened on his head. "I won't attack you again." There is a growl coming from the back of his throat, but it seems to be more out of annoyance than a threat.

"Perfect. Everyone grabs as much food and water, and we're going back to the ship."

You turn your back to the both of them and start throwing everything you can in your backpack and pockets. The other two follow suit while they avoid each other. As you're stuffing your pockets, you feel a presence next to you and then hear the woman playing with a crackling packet.

"What's your name?" She finally asks, and you scoff.

"An apology first would be nice," you mumble, then sigh. "Y/n Y/ln. What about you?"

"Natasha," she answers simply, and that's when it clicks.

She's Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow. Shit. Fuck. You decide to play it cool and not reveal right now that you know who she is.

"What are you doing on this rock?" You decide to ask, even though you feel she won't give you an honest answer. "It's not exactly a great holiday destination."

"Tell me about it." Something flashes in her eyes and you barely catch it before it's gone. "I was trying to find something here."

"What were you trying to find?" You find yourself pushing.

"Solace." Her eyes navigate the darkness in front of her, but you feel like she's contemplating a very different one, something inside of herself. That makes you tilt your head, and you decide not to push much more. You close your now full backpack.

"We should head back now. Tim, you got everything you could?" You ask when you find him between two rows of shelves. He linked a few jugs of water together and is now carrying them around with his muscular arms.

"Water for weeks." He eyes the redhead. "What about you, humans? Found anything?"

You nod. "Let's get back to the ship." You start to walk towards the door. "June really won't like what I'm going to tell her," you mumble to yourself as you exit the ship.

[herejusttosufferalong]

Regarding the followers, I think it is an interesting discussion. 

Because, as said, I think it’s important which kind of followers you gain. Antonia went from 2.000 to 13.000 followers on a short period of time. But out of these 11.000 new followers, I don’t think much of them really like her. They are just there to spy on her + Luke, or to spread hate.

I work in marketing, and we do look further than the amount of followers.  Before starting a collaboration, we always check if the values of the influencer resonate with the target audience we want to reach. Engagement is much more interesting than the numbers of followers. So in the case of A, I cannot name one brand where I personally would be in favor of a collaboration with her. Because the chance that you are getting hate as a brand as well, is much bigger than what you can potentially gain. And we all know that A cannot post anything without getting a bunch of negative comments she has to delete. 

Bridgerton has such a wide-spread audience (it’s a dazzling amount of people A would not likely reach again) and - nicely put - she failed to create a positive image for herself in this audience. 

So in my opinion, she is facing a hard time if she wants to get known as influencer or model. I really don’t get what she is gaining by being with L, apart from the ‘negative attention’.

For a moment, I thought: “so she has to stay for love”. But imagine that your partner or best friends has a major role in Bridgerton, who of you would reveal his realtime location time and time again? Who of you would create a pattern to post right after Netflix or his co-star? I don’t think she will be very popular at the Bridgerton afterparties either. So can we call this real love?

Just random thoughts, because I don’t get this situation at all. 

"who of you would reveal his realtime location time and time again? Who of you would create a pattern to post right after Netflix or his co-star? I don’t think she will be very popular at the Bridgerton afterparties either."

The last sentence though because I would assume if any of the cast is aware of what's going on they may be wary of hanging around L especially with A or any of his friend group for that matter.

Most of the cast pride themselves on their privacy. He would def be the odd man out toting 🎒 around.

[thedomesticanthropologist]

I am incredibly surprised by how engaging and popular the BG3 fandom is. I've had fairly successful blogs before, I ran one when I was heavily into Dragon Age and alway got really excited when a post I made got over 100 notes,

Nothing could have prepared me for BG3 though. Yall fill my replies, reblog and add incredibly well thought out additions, and I've got many, MANY posts that are over 2,000 notes. One over 7,000! That's insane! And to have so many of them pop off just makes my jaw drop.

My less/least popular posts are getting 50+ notes and I am by no means trying to say it's because IM posting excellent stuff that resonates, I honestly just think this fandom is so incredibly engaged and so many fans love getting a wide variety of content from those of us that write, and I see how well other people's stuff does too- it's just

It's awesome, honestly, to get to participate in something I love with so many people that enjoy the same thing. That I can write something that made ME chuckle, and between hundreds to like... thousands of people get a giggle out of it too. I feel really, humbly grateful for you all.

Thanks for enjoying BG3 as much as me.

Thanks for engaging with me

Thank you so, so much to those of you who reblog with comments, who leave replies on my posts, and especially to those who take the time to reach out via messages /anon asks /asks.

It means a lot to me

[ntenvs3000f24]

Unit 10 Blog Post

In reflecting on the journey of being a nature interpreter, I find myself drawn to the question of “why”? Why I choose to share the outdoors with others, why this field resonates so deeply with me, and why I believe the work I do has lasting value. My connection to nature has always been personal, filled with small, cherished moments that shaped my understanding of the world and my place within it. Growing up I found wonder and curiosity in natural spaces, and loved movies like The Odd Life of Timothy Green. This movie was one of the first pieces that showed me nature is both calming and inspiring and interesting and filled with so many different aspects to it. Now as I take on a role where I introduce others to this same world, I feel that it is a great responsibility to foster the same sense of wonder and connection in the next generation. 

My belief in nature’s ability to nurture resilience, curiosity, and empathy forms the foundation of my ethic as an environmental interpreter. I believe that nature is a place where we can learn vital life skills including patience, adaptability, and interconnectedness. In the course material, John Rodenburg’s observation that environmental education can feel like attempting to “Stop a rushing river armed only with a teaspoon” resonates with me. Yet, like him, I continue the work because I believe that each encounter with nature can create a lasting impact. Every interaction, no matter how small, can begin a journey of respect and stewardship. I believe that nature interpretation goes beyond sharing facts, instead it's about creating meaningful experiences that reach the heart and mind. 

As an interpreter, I feel a profound responsibility to create a safe space for children and adults to engage with nature. This includes not just physical safety but also emotional safety, where curiosity can flourish without judgment. I see myself as a connection between people and the environment, helping others recognize their place and the importance of nature itself. My goal is to foster connections that help people feel both a sense of responsibility and belonging within the natural world. Rodenburg’s approach of introducing children to nature through stories, such as his students’ experience with the killdeer, is a method I find especially powerful. Stories personalize the experience, helping people to feel connected, empathy and responsibility towards nature. 

My approach to nature interpretation is rooted in authenticity and personal connection. I prefer letting experiences unfold naturally, encouraging discovery rather than leading it. Rodenburg’s advice to let children “own” their discoveries resonates deeply with me. I aim to frame my teaching around curiosity and open-ended exploration, asking questions like “What do you see or hear?” or “What do you think lives here?” rather than presenting immediate answers. This method allows for individual journeys and fosters that previous sense of wonder that I previously mentioned! These thoughts then get carried further. 

I also believe in the power of microenvironments! These small, contained spaces where detailed exploration is possible always brings such joy to young faces. This could be a fallen log, a cluster of flowers, or even a single tree. By focusing on these smaller worlds, I can help people see that nature is accessible and meaningful, even in the smallest forms. My approach is one of appreciation, inviting others to recognize the beauty and value in what initially seems ordinary. 

Ultimately, I hope my work as an interpreter inspires others to see nature not as a general abstract concept, but as an intimate, cherished part of their lives. As I've shared throughout these blog posts, nature has become a profoundly beautiful and meaningful presence in my own life. Recently, I’ve had the joy of witnessing my baby cousins begin their journey with nature, discovering the world outside with wide-eyed curiosity. Watching them grow alongside nature has been a wonderful experience. Though they are so young and may not fully grasp everything they encounter, their excitement and fascination are undeniable. Their parents and family, including myself, have woven nature into their daily routines, from gardening together, to exploring outdoors, fostering a foundation of love and appreciation for the environment. It’s inspiring to see these small yet powerful steps that are helping to nurture the next generation of nature lovers and stewards.

My personal “So What?” is rooted in the belief that fostering a deep appreciation for nature can lead to long-lasting environmental stewardship. By helping others build meaningful relationships with nature, I contribute to a community of individuals who are young but, hopefully, will act with empathy and respect toward the planet. My goal is not to create perfect environmentalists but to push them to care and be curious. In this work, I strive to bring my values of patience and openness to each encounter, believing that these traits will resonate and encourage others to develop their own morals toward the natural world. As we continue this journey, I hope each small act of interpretation contributes to a larger movement, one that builds a society that deeply understands, respects, and cherishes its relationship with nature. A society that sees the environment not just as a backdrop for life, but as a living, breathing part of it, a place we’re truly a part of, not just a place we occupy. 

I wanted to add a picture that made me appreciate our world even more to end off my blog:

[sexynetra]

Hi! LATAM queer here that doesn't have English as a first language writing this just so you understand the importance of your work:

I haven't been active in tumblr for like almost half a year now, but I literally just logged in today to see if you had post any RAWNSYF update/new dialogue that I might have missed. I had no ideia what was going on on twitter when I logged in today. And I'm so sorry that you got exposed like that. If it is any consolation, RAWNSYF is one of my favorite fics ever written. Def my fav anarcia fic. To me, fanfic in queer spaces is a way I can read about the queer experience and relate to my own life. That is what I love about RAWNSYF, I have a past love experience that is really similar to what Anetra is going through in your fic. By reading it, I can help my 18 year old self heal. I'm not sending you this to necessarily encourage you to post a new chapter. After all that happened yesterday, I'll totally understand if you never update. I'm telling you all this so you know that your work matter. Your fic might be one of the few media work that I've ever felt so represented. Fanfic is important to queer people like us because of this: we don't have much representation in the wide media. So we turn to our own community to see ourselves being represented in this kind of spaces. Because of this, I ask you with all the kindness that I have inside of me: if you don't want to post an update, I'll totally get it! But please, PLEASE, don't ever feel guilty for what you've already wrote and posted. It means more to people that never saw themselves in media that anyone who's not queer could ever understand.

Hi there <33

This has just been sitting in my inbox because every time I went to respond I started crying again 😅

This is the sweetest message I have ever received and I cannot even possibly express just how much it meant to me to read this.

I started rawnsyf out of a desire to see the stories I wanted to read about being shared. (Well, technically I started rawnsyf as a 2am writing practice that was never supposed to be expanded upon but here we are) I honestly never thought anyone else would actually read it 😂 it was just a little story that had all my favorite story tropes in it. That was it.

But then rawnsyf grew. It grew in the scope of what I was writing about, and it grew in its reach. Suddenly, people were reading it, and it was connecting with them on a level I never anticipated.

Rawnsyf started as a fanfic about two queens I enjoyed, but I hand on my heart believe that it has grown to be so much more than that. This story, that was originally just a fun little writing exercise and a cute little love story, has become something that people really feel a connection to, and feel represented by.

I honestly never expected that, it’s beyond my wildest dreams. I think anyone who creates content hopes that it will resonate with people, but I never expected the scope it would have (which sounds braggadocious but I never expected the story to really become important to anybody besides me, and over and over again the amazing community on here has proven me wrong).

It started as a story about two queens I love, but it has grown beyond that. The characters in the story have lives of their own. They exist beyond the drag queens that inspired them. And this message, maybe more than any other, reminds me just how powerful those characters can be.

I am so infinitely grateful that you took the time to send this message, and even more infinitely honored and touched that you have allowed me to express myself through my writing and taken it onto yourself. Nothing will ever mean more to me than people being able to feel seen and find healing through something I’ve created.

Rawnsyf is not over, and it’s all because of the love people like you have shared with me for this story.

I hope I can do you justice with this story and my heart is so full <3333

I am crying again so I will end this here but my heart just feels so full. Thank you for sending this to me and being so honest and vulnerable. It means more to me than you could ever know

[secretmellowblog]

i'm really sorry about spnblr, sending love (and as a non american your nov 5th post resonated!)

Thank you, thank you, it means a lot!!!!!!!!!!!! To be honest, I expected blowback on my "the November 5th 2020 hysterical site meltdown was at its heart about the stressful political times and not the supernatural fandom" post, and I knew what I was walking into-- I mean, there's really nothing more Iconically Superwholock than dogpiling on a random person for their opinions on fandom stuff! I have been getting far more agreement than pushback, for the record! And it's honestly very worthwhile/funny/even heartbreaking reading through the comments, and remembering the wild political terror, despair, horror, and exhilaration that day involved. Someone reminded me that the Covid vaccines hadn't even been released yet-- we were still in the phase where we feared there might never be publicly available vaccines, and we would just all have to wait our turns to die! Remember that? Another person compared November 5th to the way you often laugh hysterically after a near-death experience; after barely surviving a car crash, suddenly the smallest things can be very funny. I do think the Frivolous Fandom News everyone latched onto on November 5th had to be a Big Fandom Ship with a wide reach that had lots of nostalgic value and a reputation as an iconic Tumblr Thing(tm), because that's the core of what makes it so funny. But again, it could've been Johnlock becoming canon-- it's not really about the specific fandom. (I also think some people are reading that original post uncharitably XD. I said it could have been any frivolous inane fandom news, yeah, but I also did say that it had to be something with a comparable level of Reach--which to me means a similar level of 'dashboard osmosis'/reputation as a tumblr ship/nostalgic value/etc. Yes, things would have looked different if it had been another fandom with comparable reach, but still. The reason I didn't go into depth about that angle was because I think people overemphasize the fandom side of it already, and I didn't want to make another post on that haha.)

But even the pushback I'm getting from Supernatural fans is so far just very entertaining to me. It's very "Potterheads, grab your wands!" ("Supernatural fans, grab your wayward sons?" ) As someone who's also been on the other end of genuinely vicious hateful bigoted threatening dogpiles, this is really nothing so far. It's a bunch of people with ''221BintheTardiswithCastiel" URLS bopping me on the head with an empty cardboard paper towel roll for daring to Remember the Fifth of November as I actually experienced it XD.

[you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be]

you know I do find the “who is this for” mentally kind of wild like. People are allowed to make things they think are interesting without a target demographic outside of “anyone else who might also like this.” And I think we’ve gotten very used to bland trying to get everyone media and a big part of the problem is putting stuff in boxes and because we as a culture are very anti sex.

like okay. Every villain song being jazzy. What if you love that type of song but don’t love villains or kids movies? What if you love animation as a media but want a complex story about like alcoholics or something because it’s something you’ve dealt with and resonates with you?

and there’s also not a single thing made that won’t reach someone

note I am purposely using examples of things widely disliked

I have never watched osmosis jones. I am relatively sure it’s a bad movie. But what do you mean who is it for. The plot is dude who’s being really unhealthy as a coping mechanism gets sick because of it which upsets his daughter and then you see his body fighting back. Yeah it makes sense this movie would appeal to single depressed fathers who are also adults that like dick jokes.

or sausage party. Not something I would ever in my life watch or be slightly interested in. I’m very very ace. Sometimes people just want stupid puns tho and cards against humanity is one of the biggest played games for a reason, people like that stuff.

“who is this for” well what does it have in it that people might like. I will say in all honesty I’m making this because I saw a joke post about hazbin hotel, which I’m only sort of watching. I don’t know any lore or anything about the creator. But a story that’s character focused on redemption and has powerful monsters that are just kind of going “meh” and doing everything because they’re bored? That’s fun for me. Other people relate to hyper sexuality as a coping mechanism. Other people just like musical theatre and have weird senses of humor. That’s fine.

it’s silly to dismiss something because it’s not for you. Everything has value. Even fucking A/B/O could be an interesting exploration into what consent means especially when impaired, world building as a society, sexism, all kinds of things? Is it usually used for that? Probably not! But that doesn’t mean that anything

and this is just sex stuff. I have a friend who loves bad live action remakes. The room which is thought of as one of the worst movies ever made is a cult classic.

“who is this for” before anyone else it’s for the creator. After that it’s for anyone who consumes it and enjoys it. No two people get the exact same thing out if a piece of media or art and that’s okay. You don’t need to get why someone enjoys something or why it’s made, but know that the fact it got made means there is someone who wants it, otherwise why waste the effort? The fact you’ve heard about it just goes to show that enough people cared for it to get on your radar.

[ibelieveinghost]

4/7/24

up-dates!!!

1st off!: got my visa!!! finally!!!!!! actually, i got it on Wednesday but never found the energy to write here haha. oh! i graduated on Friday too and somehow talked the school into refunding the rest of the tuition. so everything went great in the end.

but seriously. i haven't write in so long, and i'll try my best this morning(rainy Sunday vibes yay!) to cover as much as possible. ok moving on---

i've been drawing/sketching on and off, and it sorta feels like a habit. lighthearted efforts and ease, something i rarely experience w/ making art since...since high school.

i've been updating more consistently on my blogs/twitter now. i got some response. some. not as much as one'd wish haha. but honestly, i felt so grateful that people are liking my stuff.

on the other hand, the job hunting has been going... well it has been going! not a ton of jobs being posted out there since early March, and i'm starting to realize that i'm only pretending to be really wanting certain positions. i got so accustomed to idea of working as a researcher/scientist, but. man. wasn't that why i left school in the first place, that i fucking hate it despite pouring ~10 years of my life into it and seemed to be going somewhere. having bright prospects and all. now that i knew. well. i need a little more time to think and un-think, to not rush ahead, and be complete honest w/ myself. getting the visa means i got all the time i want. so again, all worked out in the best way possible.

oh yea! birthday coming up in couple weeks! woo hoo! been planning a little overnight trip somewhere! probably 軽井沢 or 伊豆高原. idk! haven't gone anywhere not Tokyo/Yokohama since early Jan, and traveling alone is totally my thing! actually, growing older is so much cooler than i'd thought when i was in my early 20s. but like. past me: imagining feeling more grounded, taking things less seriously, and being more in tune with urself.

ok! dumping some photos seem like a good way to continue:

(reverse chronological order)

(コメダ I literally come here everyday now lol)

(graduation cert came with a bear! + my lamys... i'm not collecting them! they're super easy to write to write with and i adore the bright neon colors that's it!)

( i went to the 4D special viewing of prisoner of Azkaban and man---it worked so well w/ the 4D format. i mean it is the rainy/icy snowy one of the 8, so a lot of spraying water on your face situations! i was wearing a wide grin the whole time i guess. it was so much fun. that being said, i def shed a few tears near the end when harry realized no one's coming to save the two of em, so he stepped out and did what he didn't even know he's capable of. a scene my younger self never managed to relate to. but it def resonates now.

i love this movie so much, probably my fav out of all of them. watched it at the theater w/ dad when i was probably in...middle school or younger?)

(awww)

(the day i got my visa)

(date w/ S!)

(dinner later that night, w/ the gang)

(us, acting a little stupidly ha + interesting cards i took from the bar)

(last Sunday)

(the komeda near ogikubo station, it went all orange that day + cute lil book i might come back and buy later)

(the night i last hang out w/ A)

damn we're reaching the 30 photo/post limit

so guess that's that! i'm coming back to wrap up this epic photo dump soon(later today)

it felt so nice to just recounting my life, sharing all the bits and pieces on one had ever asked for. to me, it's a cute and ultimately therapeutic thing to do. my future self must be thanking me for taking the time to record everything haha.

anyway! see ya soon!

[monsterfloofs]

Heyo! I figured I'd celebrate being able to make requests without using anon with something fun, so…

Could I request a classic "there’s only one bed and we have to share" scenario? Preferably with a big boi monster that fills up most of that bed. NSFW or SFW fluff or anything in the middle is fine with me.

Luv ya monsterfloofs!! ❤️

Ahhhh Ash dear!!! ♡♡♡ Congratulations again on your new blog hun!! I am so happy to see you in my inbox, and I hope you get lots of awesome people that come and visit you!! I had a lot of fun doing such an absolute delight of a scenario! And I hope I can work on this big baby some more sometime! They feel like such a grumpy but lovely babe!! A little suggestive, but nothing full out naughty. =//D One day I wanna get back to writing nsfw stuff, been feeling shy about posting it-- so for now a cute lil thing with a big cranky fella who likes to act tough but is kinda a softie. ヽ(*ᵔ▿ᵔ)ﾉ

♡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡♡

Unknown Monster (Unnamed) x Anonymous Protagonist (Sfw)

The growl that emanates from them, makes your own throat vibrate. Watching their muscular shoulders tense as they pull their shoulder blades back. The rippling popping noise of their back causing you to you bite your lip, eyebrows raising in concern. “Fine.” They snarl at you, voice muffled, “But I am not going to act like I am enjoying any of this.” You stop, mind thinking of a potential snappy comeback before you bubble out your lips in a goofy pout. You shrug and silently throw up your hands. Alright, alright, that’s fair I guess. It is your bed! 

“Are you coming?” You pull another comical face, eyes going wide as you gesture an answer. They can’t see you, and you feel that responding silently like this is the best option. Not wanting to upset the hulking mass of tear-you-apart-like-a-toothpick.

You can hear the faint growl of disapproval as you carefully turn sideways and do your best to fit yourself beside the large creature. The most room on the bed laying where the curve of their back is resting. Eyes squeezing tight for a moment as you mentally rewrite your will. There isn’t a lot of space and you can feel yourself beginning to tip slightly, and so without thinking, your arms reach around their back, pulling yourself closer to them.

The soft grumpy growling comes to a shuddering halt. You suck in a breath of air, bowing your head against their back. Waiting for a few seconds before you breathe a sigh of relief. Whew. So far so g–

And that’s when they roll over, you give a squeak as you are forced to let go. You come face to face with their maw and their two mouths, jaws pulling back to reveal blue gums and sharp rows of teeth in a snarl, four eyes glaring at you. 

You slowly lean backwards to give them space, finding yourself once again tipping off the bed. They snort and pull you forward, so that you lay against their chest and throat, flinching as a hand reaches out to softly touch their shoulder for support. 

“Thank you,” You manage to breathe. You weren’t sure why they had been so testy about you laying against them, laying curled up against their chest felt way more intimate to you. Especially being so close to the deep thudding heartbeat that resonated just below their throat. They chuff at you but don’t respond, closing their eyes as their arms rest curled around you.

You sweat profusely and wonder if you’ll ever be able to fall asleep.

Somehow against all odds, you managed to doze. Head resting just inches from their chest. You awoke the next morning nuzzling your face against them. A deep and rumbly purr emanating from their chest as they snooze on. They aren’t so scary after all, you muse softly to yourself, hands softly petting their collar. Though as the purring stops you quickly pretend to play dead. Feigning sleep the best that you can as they grunt, and shift in bed. You can feel eyes staring daggers down at you before their head bows, feeling a soft hush of wind as they snap their teeth at you right beside your ear. The soft click clack of gnashing bone before you feel the bed creaking underneath you. 

You feel your cheeks grow hot, feeling a mixture of surprise, awe, and flustered that you have never felt before. You are pretty sure that champing their teeth in that manner, was an affectionate gesture. You’re not sure how much longer you can feign pretending to sleep now.

♡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡｡♡

Hey you! Yeah, you!

Enjoy what I write? I have a tip jar!ヽ(*ᵔ▿ᵔ)ﾉ

[the-virgoperspective]

astro observations pt. 1

making an astro notes post for the first time bc why not! this is all in good fun and not to be taken too seriously! these observations are drawn from personal experience and my own perspective so please take what resonates and leave what doesn’t!

🌷 gemini moons will tell the same story to the same people over and over again. they don’t mean to, they just forget who they’ve told what to who. also, these natives may over share when they are around new people due to them being so communicative. please be careful of what you share! some people will use what they know against you lovies, i’ve seen it 👀

🌷 i’ve noticed that a lot of water asc (cancer mainly) esp with earth placements are more likely to get piercings rather than tattoos. the piercings are usually in a hidden area, and if they do decide on a tatt, it may be hidden as well

🌷 while we’re on the topic of body art, fire and air asc are usually ones to get inked while earth and water asc are usually ones to get pierced. those with mutable dominance may have multiples of both, cardinal dom may have more tattoos, and fixed dom may have more piercings. for example, my mom (mutable dom) is a virgo sun, pisces moon, scorpio asc with both, while my bf (fixed dom) is a taurus sun, leo moon, cancer asc with just traegus piercings, and i (cardinal dom) am a virgo sun, cancer moon, aries asc with mainly tatts

🌷 pisces placements have a rep of being directionless and constantly daydreaming, which is definitely a thing, but not always true. pisceans are quite intelligent, (don’t forget they are the last of the zodiac and carry boundless amounts of wisdom), and it can be pretty easy for them to find their niche in what they want to do (career wise). they’re just directionless when it comes to simple shit

🌷 libra suns are soooo different from libra moon/asc. they don’t mind drama and they’re usually the ones to start it or be right in the middle of it! can be v confrontational and judgmental. also have a huge flair for the dramatic, and if anything falls out of place, they throw the biggest tantrums. one time my libra friend lost her phone and she duct taped her mouth shut so we wouldn’t hear her crying all night. they’re just extra for no reason, and i can’t lie, i love to watch the chaos unfold 😏

🌷 jupiter in 1st/sagittarius asc have some of the biggest and brightest smiles!! also may have a very goofy or signature laugh that is highly contagious. they usually end up with a lot of wrinkles at a certain point in life from smiling so much!

🌷 the degree your sign is in can posses qualities or traits relating to the ruler of that degree! and this applies to any placement! for example, if you have an aquarius asc in 13° degrees (an aries degree), you may relate to and/or show aries traits and behavior. i noticed in my own natal chart that my cancer moon is in 10° (a capricorn degree) and that i have always struggled with expressing and verbalizing my emotions, even to people that are close to me, out of fear of appearing weak and vulnerable. this theory on degrees was developed by Nikola Stojanovic and is considered to be the most widely used theory around the world

🌷 also if you are interested in or are studying astrology degrees, remembering the pattern is a piece of cake. the number of degrees correlate with the order of the zodiac, so 1° degree would be aries ruled, 2° degrees would be taurus ruled, 3° degrees would be gemini ruled, and so on and so forth. it follows that same order until it reaches 29° degrees (leo ruled) and stops!

🌷 capricorn midheavens can have the most difficult time figuring out what career path they want to pursue. there’s also this profound fear of failure and feelings of doubt on careers that they may want to try but are too afraid to do it. they usually have skills and passions in many areas which is why it’s so hard for them to pick one thing

🌷 the rumors aren’t true, virgo mercuries are not always truthful! in fact, they are some of the best liars, esp if they have water, gemini, or libra placements in their big six. they study people and are very observant and intelligent, and while they may tell you like it is, some have a way of using you after they found they have gained your trust

🌷 the most loyal people i’ve ever come to know were either leo or scorpio moons. some of the best family members, friends, or partners to have in your life! but they are very protective of themselves because their love and generosity has been taken advantage of in the past

🌷 cancer moon/moon in 4th has a rep of loving kids and wanting to be a parent but i can’t relate. i’ve just now started to like kids that aren’t literal newborns and i don’t plan on having kids myself until much later in life (or ever idk). the most ironic thing though, is that i actually work with kids, and prefer it over potentially having one of my own!

🌷 to piggyback off of the last observation, cancer moon/moon in 4th may lean towards tough love instead of constant nurturing and doting when dealing with kids. they know how awful the world is and have seen it firsthand, most likely during childhood, so they want their kids to be prepared to protect their hearts like they do. they’re also able to see them as people who deserve to be spoken to on the same level as anyone else. kids are very smart and retain a lot more than people give them credit for, and due to cancer moon/moon in 4th natives being so emotionally intelligent at a young age, it makes it easier for them to navigate dealing with children as adults. they may resonate with that overwhelming feeling that a lot of kids get when they’re sad or angry and are able to guide the child to process and express their emotions in a healthy and productive manner

i had so much fun making this omg!!! i hope you all liked these little tid bits. please don’t hesitate to tell me if something resonated with you or if i am unknowingly sharing false information! any criticism or correction is appreciated as long as it is constructive and you aren’t rude 😋

[namisweatheria]

@laurenbudoren #this this this this #it's why it's so hard to genderbend nami in my opinion

THAT'S WHAT INSPIRED ME TO WRITE THIS POST, LOL. The original intro was like "I love Girl Piece and reinterpreting characters in ways that explore their relationships to gender and expression, and the world and people around them, but-"

To me there just is no Boy Nami. There just isn't! You can't do it! Well I mean you could absolutely do trans boy Nami who still cares deeply about misogyny and girls and doesn't see his gender as something that separates him from his experiences of misogyny and girlhood, you could do that. And it could be pretty cool. But a cis boy? No way no how.

One Piece is pretty tough series to do a total genderbend with in the first place because of how wide-reaching the story is and how fleshed out the world is, and how misogyny and gender norms seem to function the exact same. I think if you just genderbent the youngest generation, that could work, but you'd also have to explain somehow the way that Pirating became a female-dominated profession basically overnight.

I do think that Womanhood and Girlhood play a significant role in the characterization of basically every main female character, which is at times a sexist caricature and other times a thoughtful portrayal of the behavioral consequences of being a woman or girl in a patriarchal world. The way Oda skips around between deeply offensive and strikingly resonant is old news but I really never get over it. So baffling. So frustrating. Unfortunately, sometimes, really funny.

Anyways, genderbends can be really fun exercises but I feel like there's soooo much to explore gender-wise in canon already. Every member of the East Blue crew has a very interesting relationship with gender!!

I feel like we don't discuss Nami's relationship with gender enough. Her entire character is so deeply informed by being a girl in a male-dominated pirate world and it's so interesting and so worth talking about.

The background creepiness of Bad pirate crews, which are most of them, how they tend to not have any female crew members at all, how they beckon any pretty young woman around to come play with them and join them. It's real bad. It's also like, a totally 2 dimensional portrayal of evil that is reserved for the most background of background characters.

However I think their ubiquity says a lot about how piracy is meant to be perceived by the public in One Piece, and is one of the strongest indicators of how prevalent misogyny is in-world.

It's very normal in One Piece for regular island inhabitants to have never met a Different class of pirate in their life. There's no reason for them to withhold judgement that maybe these pirates won't be like every crew that attacked before, and to wait and judge them by their actions. I mean frankly that would be irrationally weak self-preservation.

There are people who live peacefully under the flags of Yonkos who protect them, and feel loyalty and gratitude to them for it, but that seems to only be thing with very big name pirates. The East Blue, being the weakest and least populated, has no such plethora of powerful people and resulting turf wars.

So. Nami. Is very clearly implied to have never met any Different pirates before. I'm thinking about what that means. About how every group of pirates she stole from were creepy, dangerous men. How she started going out stealing when she was still a young child. How she didn't have a mother anymore to guide her or comfort her. How Arlong would grab her chin inappropriately, talk about her as a "human female", as property, and god knows what else.

How all the men in Arlong's crew treated her patronizingly, pretending they're all friends, teasing her and playing at respect when really not a single one of them ever stuck up for her or hesitated to accuse her of betrayal. Who were always ready to kill her if she refused to cooperate. Who grabbed her and intimidated her when they felt like it.

That's what she had to come back to after a close call with stealing from other predatory men, instead of the relief of home there was a dark, cramped room filled with endless hours of misery and isolation and blood. Where any one of her captors could barge in and demand new maps, work faster, where did you go, you took too long again this time. Endless threats and incursions.

I'm thinking about that her fight scene in Alabasta, where she tumbles and rips off her cape and uses it to catch her enemy's spikes, before leaping to her feet and running out the back door, all in one moment. How it makes her enemy reconsider her and think, "so the girl's not a total novice at fighting after all." What that implies about her experiences as a young thief. The times she wasn't fast or clever enough and had to fight and claw her way out. Why she always carried a staff and a knife. Why she was the only one before Chopper who had any medical knowledge or experience.

You know she was stitching herself up. And the weapons, how do you think she learned to use those? If any of the Arlong Pirates helped her it wasn't out of kindness and it wasn't gentle.

Then I think about Nojiko, and Bellemere's memory, and the only softness in a hard life. How easily Nami connects to every young woman experiencing hardship that she meets. How completely she dismisses the struggles of men unless they mean something to her and are going through something terrible. The way that Nami only has sympathy for women and children is easily noticeable in-text, but it's also something confirmed in those words by the author. And it's clearly because of the life she lived, the men who had all the power and only abused it, who saw her as nothing but a girl to take advantage of, without anyone aside from her sister clearly knowing and caring about any of it.

Nami clearly isn't bitter, she doesn't think the world owes her recompense, on the contrary she knows she is far from the only person in the world to suffer the things she has suffered. She is endlessly reaching out and kind, but only to those that she isn't sure would get help without her. Certainly, before Luffy, Usopp, and Zoro, no man ever reached out a hand to her without an ulterior motive.

I think when she sees a girl in trouble, a girl biting her lip to hold in a scream of grief, a girl running in the woods away from a monster, a girl captured by pirates, she sees someone who no one is coming for. Who no one will stick up for. A person without allies in world against her. Whether it's actually true in this case or not, she runs straight for that girl anyways every single time.

[bluefirewrites]

Excerpt from my Fic Writer!Luke and Fanartist!Julie fic ‘Dahlia and the Duck’. Given the terrible news, seeing everyone rallying together during this time is a great reminder of the amazing community we built here- the kind of community that inspired this fic. 

Here’s to us continuing to create even if Netflix says it’s over. My love letter to fandom. Love you all :)

After last season’s finale, Luke had been suffering show withdrawals, not sure where to put all his energy and focus in between seasons and completely obsessing over what could happen next season.

He had already talked Alex’s and Reggie’s ears off about his feelings on the show, and he would totally geek out over the show with more people if he knew how to approach it. Like, he couldn’t just talk to someone who watched it casually. (He made that mistake once and he was pretty sure he scared them off).

Luke had an old Tumblr he made back in middle school for reasons he still didn’t remember. He had barely used it, only reblogged some memes and followed blogs dedicated to bands he liked but that was it.

(He was so confused when he kept seeing his old posts about the ‘skeleton war’. Whatever that was…)

Finding the Madd World fandom had been a godsend.

Like, there were people on there who were down to talk about anything and everything show-related all the time!

God, he must sound corny, but he had found a community there. And it was fun. He was just blown away by the amount of content on there in the absence of the show’s. It had been insane seeing all the art, gifs, and writing all inspired by the show. And by each other.  

It was too easy to get caught up in that creative energy.

He hadn’t posted much in the beginning. Just reblogged other people’s content. But then he really got into his feelings about Season 2 after chatting with others about it.

It had started off as predictions for the next season. What he had hoped to see more of in terms of character arcs and songs…

Then maybe he had started coming up with headcanons for Maddox, Rachel, Khalil, and other characters. Which led to him somewhat describing all these scenarios that could have happened within the events of the show.

Then he had ended up with something of a drabble. With dialogue and everything.

It had been the first thing he wrote in months that he liked.

And other people seemed to like it too. A lot, actually.

The response had been unexpected.

People reblogging his writing, tagging it as #fic or #fic rec when Luke had no experience writing fanfiction before (only having just started reading them a couple months before) and wasn’t sure a lil’ post about what probably happened between Maddox and Rachel before the school dance counted.

He had really felt out of his depth here, but he had been totally floored by how much people resonated with what he wrote, something he only thought happened when he was making and singing songs, and even then, it was for the book clubs and the local coffee shop crowd.

But Luke was getting love from people all the way in Belgium. He could only dream about his work having that far wide of a reach.

So… he kept writing them, the writings growing longer and more detailed where it was no mistake that he was, in fact, creating fanfiction.

It had been like the dam finally breaking, all that pent up frustration over not being able to write anything worthwhile being set free.

And it just… got away from him ever since...

.

.

Read the rest here on AO3!

[taetaespeaches]

“Don’t you dare.”

yoongi x reader (or oc) genre: fluff word count: 3.6K

a/n: Eeeek I’m so excited to finally be posting Min/Kid again!!!! A lot has happened since I last wrote for these two. You know, a shoulder surgery, release of BE, and a Grammy nomination just to list a few. Soooo all three of those are included in this. I hope you all enjoy, and as always, thank you for reading! :)) 

CHOPPING the celery, you hummed along with the acoustic melody resonating in the kitchen, the voices of your boyfriend and his members filling the space. The slow, sad tune was one of your favorites on the new album, but then again, you favored them all.

Looking down at your feet, you spotted the small fluffy dog staring up at you cutely. “I just wanna be happier,” you sang at the dog, “How about you, Holly?”

At hearing his name, he cocked his head at you, you smiling fondly. “Are you happy?” You continued your conversation with the pup in a tone that was higher pitched than your normal speaking voice. “What’s up? Do you want some celery?” You asked. “I don’t think you’ll like it much, bubs.”

You watched the dog for a moment longer before he got too excited, jumping up your leg causing you to giggle and relent. “Ok, ok,” you grinned, taking a small piece of the vegetable between your fingertips. Crouching down, you held it out for Holly to take, the dog carefully sniffing it. “I’m telling you, dude, you’re not gonna like it,” you told him just as he slowly grabbed the morsel from your fingers and dropped it to the floor. “Are you gonna eat it?” You questioned in surprise, both you and the dog too intrigued by the celery to notice the new kitchen visitor standing behind you.

“Is he eating celery?” Your boyfriend’s groggy voice suddenly sounded, you turning around in surprise and slight startlement.

“Shit, hi,” you greeted him, clutching your chest in fright, taking in his disheveled appearance as he had just woken up from a nap. “He’s considering,” you smiled before turning back to the dog. “I don’t think he’ll do it.”

“Holly, you’re not starving, buddy,” he told the little pup, a slight chuckle lacing the words. You listened as Yoongi’s feet shuffled closer to you, his hand suddenly finding its way to the back of your head, his fingers instantly slipping into your strands, lightly massaging your roots.

Taking his hand in yours, you brought it to your lips as you stood, leaving a light kiss to the back of it before trailing them down the bottom of his thumb and to his wrist. “How are you feeling, baby?” You asked him, the man giving you a soft close-mouthed grin that made his fluffy cheeks look even fuller.

“I feel fine,” he assured you, moving his hand in your grip to intertwine his fingers with your own as he leaned toward you, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips. “You should have woken me up, Kid,” he whispered against your lips.

Your mouth curved upward as you shook your head, kissing him once more before stepping back from him and reluctantly separating your hand from his. “Absolutely not,” you said simply, Yoongi scoffing as he pulled his gaze from you to the dog, you following his eyes to see Holly propped up on your boyfriend’s legs. Cast to the side was the piece of celery, you giggling as Yoongi smiled in amusement.

“Do you want a real treat?” He asked the dog, you looking fondly at your boyfriend’s wide-eyed gaze as he addressed Holly in a cutesy voice. “I’ll give you a real one, none of this celery stuff,” he playfully teased you, shooting you a gummy grin.

“Hey, he asked for it,” you defended, crossing your arms over your ribcage as Yoongi made his way across the kitchen to the treat cupboard.

You observed him as he reached for a plastic container with a twist lid, however stalling when he realized it would be quite difficult to take off with one arm. Instead he reached for the bag of treats next to it, using his teeth to hold one end of the zip lock as he pulled it open.

“Here you go, Holly,” he handed the pup the treat, the dog wiggling excitedly before running off to munch in peace. “That’s why I’m his favorite,” he told you with a smug smile, your mouth opening in feigned surprise.  

“You think you’re Holly’s favorite?” You asked him, the man giving you a weak shrug, given one of his shoulders was out of commission. “Aw, Min,” you cooed. “When did you get so delusional, old man?”

Yoongi chuckled at you as he turned back to the bag of treats, a focus overtaking his face as he struggled to reseal it with one hand. Of course you felt for the man, having undergone a shoulder surgery in the recent weeks, but you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t amusing to watch him pout in frustration at a bag of dog treats. And you only became fonder when he finally sealed it, a quiet hum of satisfaction leaving his lips before turning to catch your gaze, you holding back a grin as his cheeks tinted pink.

“Everything is so much more difficult,” he whined in embarrassment, you allowing yourself to lightly laugh at his expense.

“You’re so cute though,” you complimented, the man grunting at the comment as he looked to the cutting board.

“What can I help with?” He asked you, you shooting him a glare.

“You can help by keeping me company,” you told him sternly. “Sit here and chat with me, I missed you today.”

Opening his mouth to contend your command, you held up your hand to him. “Don’t argue with me, I’ll stop helping you put your pants on,” you teased him, Yoongi letting out a silent laugh paired with his adorable gummy grin.

“That’s just cruel,” he joked back just before taking a seat across from you at the kitchen island. “Maybe I’ll just stop wearing pants then,” he suggested.

“Now who’s being cruel?” You questioned with a smirk, enjoying the amusement displayed on your boyfriend’s features. Picking the knife up, you continued chopping up vegetables as Yoongi watched you carefully. “How was therapy this morning?”

“I’m so tired,” he chuckled at himself as you pouted and cooed. “It was fine though,” he nodded.

“Good,” you grinned. “You better not be pushing yourself too hard,” you warned, Yoongi letting out a light laugh.

“I want to get back out there,” he noted, a small knowing smile forming on your lips. “I want to be ready to perform this album when we’re able,” he added, nodding to your phone as ‘Telepathy’ sounded through the speaker.

“And you will be ready,” you assured him, “as long as you pace yourself.”

“Yes ma’am,” he teased, you trying to hold back your smile but failing. “Have you picked a favorite yet?” He asked, referring to your favorite track on his group’s new album.

“I’ve always had a favorite,” you told him as you started lightly grooving to the upbeat track.

“This one?” He asked in surprise, making you roll our eyes as you started dancing more and singing along. “Wow,” he shook his head in disbelief. “Are you just saying this to make me feel good since I’m all laid up?” He asked, you giggling at the question.

“You’re so annoying,” you told him through your chuckle, reaching for a piece of celery and lightly tossing it at him. The piece of vegetable made contact with his cheek and he pulled a dramatic expression of shock, his mouth open as he playfully gasped. “Of course I’m just saying that to make you feel good,” you teased, Yoongi laughing breathily as he popped the piece of celery into his mouth.

“Thank you anyway,” he smiled softly as you let out a breathy laugh. You both watched each other for a moment, your eyes traveling each other’s faces before your gazes connected, Yoongi only holding contact for a second until quickly averting his orbs to the countertop.

Smiling to yourself, you placed the knife to the stone, the sound of metal clinking against the hard surface piquing Yoongi’s interest enough for him to look at the blade. As you began walking around the counter toward your boyfriend, his eyes found your hips, dragging up your frame, landing on your grin.

“The song is amazing,” you assured him seriously. “And I think this might be my favorite of your guys’ albums.”

“Really?” He asked curiously, his eyes widened as he studied your expression, replaying the words in his head to scrutinize your tone. You simply nodded as you slotted yourself between his legs, your hand meeting the back of his neck as you lightly played with the ends of his dark brown hair.

“And speaking as a fan,” you told him, dipping your head to catch his eyes. “I know all the other fans loving it as well.”

Flashing you a honey boy smile as his cheeks tinted pink, you leaned down to press a sweet kiss to their plushness. “You did good, Honey Boy,” you complimented, a breathy chuckle sounding from the man as he relaxed in your touch, dropping his forehead to your sternum, leaving a light kiss to your chest through your shirt.

“Thank you,” he whispered shyly. He sometimes had a hard time vocalizing it, but your opinion meant everything to him.

Running your hands through the back of his hair, you shook your head. “Thank you,” you countered.

“For what?” He asked wrapping an arm around your waist, allowing his fingers to lightly trace indistinct patterns against your side.

“For inspiring me daily,” you told him, the man looking up at you with an expression of adorable surprise, making you smile and lean down to kiss his soft lips fondly. “With your talent and hard work and openness to express your vulnerabilities. I know there’s a lot of people out there who appreciate it, but don’t forget that I’m one of them,” you informed him, the man taking a deep breath before letting it out slowly.

Leaving a kiss to the tip of his nose, you trailed them up the bridge until your lips met his forehead, leaving a series of pecks against his warm skin. “What’s on your mind, Min?” You whispered before placing another kiss to his hair. Probably a lot. A major shoulder surgery, a new album, Grammy nominations coming, you were sure it was busy inside his head.

“How lucky I am to have you,” he revealed shyly but boldly, you nearly cooing instantly. “And how much I hate this fucking shoulder right now because I can’t just grab you and take you right here like I want to,” he partially joked. Oh jesus christ.

“Oh my god,” you laughed, lightly slapping his uninjured arm. “You know what? I’ve settled on what your three best skills are.”

“What are they?” He asked, pulling you the slightest bit closer as he smirked at you.

“Rapping, producing, and ruining cute moments,” you told him, the man immediately laughing as he pulled a feigned thinking face.

“Kind of thought rocking your world was gonna be one but I’ll take it,” he replied, you groaning as you pulled out of his grasp.

“Have I told you you’re annoying?” You teased, leaning toward him to steal a quick kiss before stepping away from him, the man slowly chasing after your lips as you backed away, reaching for you with his functional arm only to shoot you a pout when you returned to the other side of the island.

“Of course you have,” he smiled.

“Good,” you said simply, wearing a fond grin as you returned to cooking.

“You’re so cute in your pj’s,” you cooed as you helped button his top, preparing to get into bed. You had finished eating dinner earlier in the night and Yoongi had helped you with dishes by rinsing them with his one functional arm. “I should get a matching pair, how adorable would that be?” You teased, Yoongi shooting you a look of disgust. “What is that face? It would be cute,” you defended playfully, only for your boyfriend to hold the expression as if you committed an atrocity. “Stop it, don’t pretend like you hate the idea.”

“I do hate the idea,” he defended weakly, hiding a smile.

“Oh whatever, I know you, Min,” you reminded him with a glare, the man huffing as you giggled, securing the last button on his pajama top. “Ok,” you lightly patted the right side of his chest after securing the final button. “All done.”  

“Thanks,” he breathed out, watching as you reached for his shoulder brace. “I can put it on, Kid,” he told you, causing you to pause and stare at him. The two of you had been playfully fighting for weeks over taking care of him. The thing was, you both enjoyed you doting on the man a bit.

“I want to,” you pouted, Yoongi giving you a soft smile. Smirking in victory, you wiggled your hips happily just before you began placing his arm in the sling, Yoongi scoffing as he smiled.

As you adjusted the straps, ensuring his shoulder would be as comfortable and secure as possible, Yoongi watched you carefully. Fondly. When your eyes found his, catching him staring, he cleared his throat to play if off with an act of nonchalance.

“You know,” he started, determined to set your mind on something other than the fact that he had been staring at you with the softest smile you’d ever seen. “I’m beginning to get used to you waiting on me all the time,” he joked, you biting back a smile as you shook your head.

“Don’t you dare,” you warned him, pulling up on the velcro to resituate the strap.

“What?” He feigned innocence, his eyes widened with his lips secured in a small pout. You allowed yourself to smile as you let out a forced scoff to cover your amusement.

“Don’t you dare get used to it,” you told him sternly as he laughed silently, thoroughly amused and smitten. “You know what, just for that you can tuck yourself into bed,” you teased, walking away from him, Yoongi looking at you in pretend shock.

“Kid,” he whined with a smile as he watched you crawl under the covers, leaving the grown man to fend for himself.

Opening your laptop, you kept your eyes in a glare as Yoongi shuffled to the bed, staring at you with a pout as you resisted the urge to smile. “Stop looking at me, Min,” you told him, your straight face breaking as he chuckled, you giggling as you pulled up the Grammys website.

Carefully but lacking grace, Yoongi crawled into bed next to you and looked over your shoulder at the screen. “What time are they announcing nominations?”

“Um,” you looked at the time, doing the math in your head. “Should be around 2 or 3 am, so a couple hours. Do you want to get some sleep and set an alarm? Or do you want to wait up?” You asked, looking at him, reading the nervousness in his features instantly.

A soft smile overtook your face as he breathed out slowly. “Uh, I think wait up,” he nodded to himself. “Yeah, wait up.”

“Ok, baby,” you nodded back. His eyes were glued to the screen, and more specifically the gramophone displayed in the top left corner. You knew he wanted this. It was the highest honor a musician could receive for their work, so of course the boys wanted that. And you couldn’t think of anyone more deserving. Even when you stripped back all of the hard work and hardships, the years of struggles for credibility and spotlight under a new company with no money, defying the odds and breaking through as a worldwide act, the music was still amazing. The music is what gave you the intuitive confidence to assure your boyfriend that he had nothing to worry about. “You’re going to get nominated,” you assured him sincerly. “I can feel it.”

“Yeah?” He asked, his eyes slowly leaving the screen to meet your face, his cheeks looking plush and kissable in the glow of the computer monitor.

“Yeah,” you nodded, reaching for his face, gently placing your palm to his cheek, simply because you just had to feel their fluffiness on your fingertips. “And if you don’t, I’ll start drafting a letter to the recording academy immediately to scold them for committing the biggest snub in Grammys history,” you joked. Your lame humor was met with a highly amused gummy grin and an adorable shy giggle as he turned his face into your hand to kiss the inside of your wrist. “Between me and Army, just imagine all the scathing articles the recording academy will be met with,” you added, Yoongi chuckling further, the sound of his laughter making your belly feel warm and content.

“Well hopefully we’re nominated,” he said through his light laughter. “For two reasons,” he clarified, you raising your eyebrows curiously. “You’re scary when mad and also that would be very embarrassing to have my girlfriend send a letter to the recording academy on my group’s behalf,” he laughed more, you joining him as your hand slid to the side of his neck.

“Well then, they better nominate you,” you agreed just as Holly jumped onto the bed, nuzzling next to yours and Yoongi’s legs, both of you shooting fond grins at the little pup. 

You weren’t sure what time it was but the grogginess in your mind told you it was much too early to be awake yet. So why were you?

“Kid,” a hushed whisper sounded next to you, you groaning in response. “Kid, wake up, baby,” the voice sounded again.

“Hmm?” You hummed, still too tired to peel your eyes open.

“We fell asleep,” Yoongi told you, you humming again. “Kid, the nominations have been announced.”

At that statement, your eyes popped open, your hazy gaze searching for Yoongi. Blinking the sleep away, you squinted at your boyfriend as your eyes adjusted to being open. His face coming into clarity in the early morning hours, you studied his features, preparing to either celebrate or console. With a racing heart, you watched as his lips curved into a massive gummy smile, and tears pricked your eyes instantly.

“Oh my god,” you whispered huskily.

“We’re nominated for a Grammy,” he told you, the words hitting you with the force of reality causing you to shoot up from the covers startling Holly as you did so, the dog looking at you in confusion. 

“Oh my god, Yoongi,” you squealed, standing on your knees as you lightly bounced, trying to be careful not to create too much motion that you would hurt his shoulder, pumping your arms in the air gleefully. Holly jumped up, hopping against you for a moment. “Oh my god,” you screamed excitedly, Yoongi laughing as he let out a happy excited yell of his own. Holly leaped onto Yoongi’s lap, barking at the commotion, unaware that he was partaking in a celebration.  “Yoongi, oh my fucking god,” you yelled once more through Yoongi’s own excited squealing as he pet the dogs face giddily.

Showing you his phone, you skimmed through his group chat with the boys, the photo of the nomination taking center stage, the texts full of yells of excitement making you smile widely.  Another squeal left you as you dropped the phone and placed your hands to the sides of Yoongi’s face, Holly deciding to settle on your empty side of the bed next to you and Yoongi. “Baby, you’re nominated for a Grammy,” you told him, the words fully hitting Yoongi as it sunk in for the first time. You watched as his eyes became glassy, emotion overwhelming the man.

Crawling closer to your boyfriend, you placed yourself on his lap and wrapped an arm around the back of his neck, careful not to make contact with his recovering shoulder. Yoongi instantly rested his head against your shoulder and it didn’t take long to hear sniffles as he body shook, the man crying into the fabric of your pajama top.

“Oh, you did it, Min,” you whispered, kissing the top of his head a few times quickly as your fingers comfortingly toyed with his strands at the nape of his neck. “I’m so proud of you,” you spoke into his hair, the man’s arm wrapping around your waist to pull you firmly against his side as he continued to cry.

The two of you sat like that for a moment, the only sounds coming from you both being his silent sobs and your occasional kisses to his head and the whispered compliment on how deserving he was. There’s a special kind of happiness you feel when the people you love achieve a certain level of happiness themselves. And well, Yoongi was really happy in that moment. And you loved him more than anyone.

Eventually, his tears slowed and he looked up to you, finding you smiling down at him with your own lash closed to the brink of overflowing emotion. “Not to brag but,” you stared playfully, “I did tell you that you’d be nominated,” you teased, Yoongi chuckling as he craned his neck uncomfortably to find your lips. Watching you be so happy and supportive of him, he couldn’t quite relay his gratitude for you through words. He needed to show you.

Happily, you kissed him back, the meeting full of passion and love. The kiss was an act of sharing and relaying pride and excitement and relief and thankfulness, and just all the intense emotions hitting you both in that moment. It was slow but meaningful, the kiss full of intent but frantic and messy. It was perfect.

When he pulled away just slightly, he took a shaky breath, letting out a single breathy laugh of disbelief. “The recording academy must have felt the energy of your threat,” he joked, you shaking your head with a fond smile.

“Nah uh,” you told him. “This was all you guys.” Yoongi took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as you wiped under his eyes gently, ridding him of his tears. “You deserve this, Yoongi,” you assured him.

“I love you,” he told you as a soft honey boy smile graced his face.

Leaning down once again, you kissed his lips softly. “I love you too,” you whispered against his mouth. “My Grammy nominated Honey Boy,” you smiled, Yoongi chuckling as he connected his lips to yours once again.

[ramp-it-up]

What That Boat Do?

Pairing: Rafael Casal x Reader

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. RPF. VERY EXPLICIT. Bathroom sex, oral (m/f receiving), creampie, light choking, a little bit of fluff at the end. Not proofread, errors my own.

A/N: This is based on the following ask from a wonderful Nonnie:

Post premiere smut with Rafa 😏 some red carpet teasing maybe?

Sorry it took me so long. We're on episode three! Anywho, I hope you like it Nonnie!

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The weekend was wild.

Rafael seemed sure of himself, but you knew the real story. He had never worked so hard to get something created. His soul was bound up in this work. And he was full of chaotic energy just finally getting to show the world what he and his friends created.

It was a hella busy weekend, flying coast to coast, grabbing sleep when you could. You just stored up your thots for later, knowing he needed this nervous energy to push through.

You loved how your man looked, and this premier tour was giving you ample opportunity to ogle him, along with everyone else.

Rafa in that blue suit did something to you. Black shirt, white shoes. Buzz cut and beard. Holy hell he was hot.

You were asleep as soon as you got in the car that night though, and Rafa just put you in bed in the hotel suite as he got busy playing hype man on social media.

And of course, you got a spanking the last time you wore that Green A’s jacket, sneaking it out of his trailer without him knowing.

Seeing him in it made you soaking wet with the memory of that night. The way he smirked at you while walking around in it told you he knew just what you were thinking.

You got so blasted that night because you were with the homies, so you were in no condition to be taken advantage of.

The final night of the premier weekend finally came, and you could tell that Rafa was exhaling. He was going to really celebrate tonight. And you were right by his side.

Tonight he was wearing the two-tone Comme des Garçons suit. It was just delectable.

Your gown matched his fly, and the only undergarment you were wearing was a black silk thong. You thought Rafael wasn’t paying attention as he fussed in the mirror getting ready, but you were wrong.

Rafa held your hand as he advanced toward the red carpet. You looked up at him and squeezed his hand before you got separated at the press and the step and repeat.

You watched him pose, and answer questions, smiling, laughing, and joking. He was in the zone, using his charm to hype up his project.

Damn. What a man. You were turned on just looking at him.

He and the cast went backstage to get ready to host the screening and answer questions. You were used to watching from afar.

You wandered around the venue, talking to the usual suspects and inspecting all of the liquor bottles on the top shelf from your perch at the bar.

Rafa texted you.

Bored?

You looked around and did not see him anywhere.

Where are you?

I’m stage left, waiting to go on, I see you counting bottles. Are you bored?

You peered at the spot he indicated and saw him leaning against the wall. Fuck, he looked good. You straightened up as your heart started beating faster.

I was, but not anymore.

Rafael smirked at you, and then down at his phone

Oh yea, well, why don’t you go take off that thong?

You looked up at Rafa. He had his evil grin on. Your eyes grew wide and you hurriedly typed in your phone.

WHAT?!?!?

You looked back up at him when you sent the message.

“Off,” he mouthed at you, then he held up his phone and started typing again.

Scared?

You loved a challenge. You looked him straight in the eye, got your purse, and asked the bartender where the bathroom was. You left and came back in three minutes.

You chose at a table near the stage when you sat down again. Rafa was there with the cast, staring at you, watching you, and waiting to be introduced.

You blew him a kiss. He subtly caught it underhanded, winked, and motioned as if he were putting it in his pocket.

You were transfixed as Rafael hyped the show. Watching him work and listening to his voice was such a turn on. You were more than ready to go, sitting up and paying attention with your whole body.

You crossed your legs, flashing the stage, and you caught Rafael lowkey checking to see if anyone else saw. You saw the flash in his eye and a little delicious shiver of fear ran through you. He did not miss a beat however, as he was staring right at the apex of your thighs, and he didn’t even pause as he spoke.

You kept moving in your seat because it was getting unbearable. Finally, you stood up, crossed your legs, and leaned against the wall for support, still staring at Rafael. You had no idea what anyone else in the room was doing; it was like you were the only two people there.

When Rafael left the stage again, he texted you almost immediately.

I saw you squirming. Meet me in the restroom on the left side of the house in 10 minutes.

Your pussy clenched as you read the text. You looked up and around the room. No one seemed to have any idea of what was about to happen. You watched the clock on your phone, the 10 minutes seeming to take forever.

It was like you had super senses. You heard people laughing, phones dinging with notifications, and Rafa’s body calling you.

When the time came, you picked up your bag and casually walked down the hall to your destination. You tried the knob and it was locked.

“Rafa, it’s me.”

The door opened and Rafael pulled you in quickly, and you laughed nervously at the sudden movement. He pinned you against the wall and kissed you well. He took his time to addle your senses with a kiss. That mouth did a lot.

You took control, kissing him, and unbuttoning his shirt, liking his nipple and kissing down his chest and abs as you got on your knees to un button and unfasten his pants.

His dick was not totally hard, but thick and waiting on his thigh. You deep throated it while looking up in his eyes.

Rafael’s sea blues gazed down at you and he smiled while you pulled off and stroked him, spitting on his cock for lubrication.

You were dripping as you sucked him a few more times for good measure, palming and rolling his balls. He moaned deep in his throat and placed his hand on your head.

He started tugging you upwards and you pulled his dick with you as you stood back up. You pulled your dress up and sat on the vanity, pussy directly over the sink.

You spread your legs as Rafa grasped your nipple through the slick fabric of your dress, then slid his hand down your belly to your cunt, using all four fingers to play in your pussy, dipping into your slick and coming up to circle, then brush your clit.

You could feel him releasing his frenetic pent up energy on you; all of the tension leading up to tonight was going to benefit you greatly.

Rafa surprised you by getting on his knees himself to taste you a little, licking your cunt, his nose in the center of your mound. He stood suddenly to take his jacket and shirt off, then got back on his knees, opening your legs wide and holding on to them, as your ass was falling into the bowl of the sink.

He started eating seriously then, diving in and bringing you to the edge of heaven, over and over again, but never quite letting you come. You bit your lip, moaned and wiggled in his clutch, and he smiled up at you, eyes sparkling at your vexation.

He brought his hand up and dipped his fingers in again, gathering some of your slick, and used it to lubricate his cock as he jacked off a bit. Rafael immersed himself in you, lapping you up and turning his head as he made out with your pussy.

You were so wet that by the time that he stood up to line himself up, he slid in easily and started pumping into you with no hands. He held them up like he was doing a trick on a bicycle, and the cocky muthafucka smirked at you as you looked up at him, mouth open and panting for more.

You reached for his ass as you wanted him to quit teasing you and ram you fully. Instead, he grabbed your hips, and you leaned back into the mirror, running your hands up his arms and down his torso again.

He gathered your knees in his arms, brought you closer and started pounding you harder, just as you wished. You moaned, your eyes rolling as your head lolled back against the mirror, and Rafa clapped his hand over your mouth.

He kissed your forehead as you continued to shake and moan in his arms, then he picked you fully up by your thighs and started bouncing you up and down his dick before depositing you back down on the vanity.

He pulled out and turned you around, pounding you and reaching around you to finger your clit until you came, his hand firmly muffling your noises.

But Rafael wasn’t finished. He leaned against the wall, and pulled you with him, his arm clutching your neck and holding your back flush against his chest, spearing his rock hard dick inside you.

The first time either of you spoke was for you to protest to him.

“Rafa… no… I - I can’t… not again.”

Rafa pulled you tighter against him and whispered in your ear.

“Yes you can, beautiful. And you will.”

He started moving again, squeezing your neck and flicking your over sensitive clit with his other hand. You quivered with overstimulation, but couldn’t help but fuck yourself back on his cock until you were close to coming again.

You put your hand over your mouth to stop the noise, but the slapping of your bodies was almost as loud as your noises.

You came and then Rafael stilled to stave off his orgasm. He bent his head toward you, forehead at the top of your spine as he breathed and tried to calm down. You slipped off his cock, the slippery wetness of you resonating in the room.

You wanted to celebrate him and his accomplishments, show Rafael how special he was. He was still hard, so you pushed him back, got on your knees again and sucked him off, tasting yourself on him, Rafa watching you in the mirror as he massaged your scalp.

You looked up at him as you stroked him off and sucked him, going deeper each time he moaned. He was staring at you with those eyes. That and his sounds kept you going and you felt his ball tighten.

“Shhhhhitttttt! You are so fucking good at this. You ready for it babe?”

Rafa was trying to stay cool, but he was making that cum face that you loved. You smiled and nodded up at him, opening your mouth as he took over and spurted streams of cum at you.

“Now swallow like the Good Girl you are.”

You did as you were told and then leaned forward to clean him up, hollowing your cheeks again and causing his knees to get weak.

“Damn, girl. You are a fucking big brain geniusssss. Shit!”

Rafa slumped against the wall as you rose from your knees, a pro still in your heels. You got cleaned up at the sink, and he opened his eyes and smacked your ass as you fixed your face and pulled down your dress.

He put his clothes back on, made sure he was still fly and then pulled you to him, kissing your forehead again, sweetly now.

“Thank you for being my ride or die. I couldn't have done any of this without you.”

You shook your head and began to protest.

“Shhh. I’m dead serious. You are my rock, my calm in the storm. I love you girl.”

You melted on the inside, but were still very aware that he was technically still working.

“I love you too, but before you sail out back into them rocky producing waters, give me back my panties.”

You held out your hand and smirked at him.

“Nah girl. You go out here with me commando, and remember just what that boat do.”

And Rafael pulled you laughing back out into the premier event, happy to be riding the waves with him.

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My first fic in a while (for me). Let me know what you think.

Tag List:

@braidedchallah @theatrenerd86 @sebastianabucknettastan @imatyoursurrvicesurr @riiyy @lonelydance @jbrizzywrites @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @anh1020 @sillyteecup @ohsoverykeri @theselilwonders @biafbunny @summerofsnowflakes @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @janthonybitch

[sunflowersteves]

jealous thoughts || b.b.

summary || mob!au, you have to flirt with Bucky’s buyer and you were successful, however, Bucky was the least bit impressed.

author’s note || lmao i completely and utterly forgot to post this on tumblr but this was for the marvel x reader fic fest that @fandomsandxfiles​ had hosted!

warnings || jealousy, anger, smut!!, rough sex, fingering, [18+ only]

Main Masterlist

Bucky’s coming home today.

You sigh, taking a fluffy brush and placing some translucent powder onto your skin. Your fancy white dress felt like it was hugging you. You turned to see Alpine strutting into the bathroom and purring against your legs. Bucky had to deal with a couple of lackeys that turned out to be spies from the Russian Mob. He had to be in New Jersey as well, so it’s been an entire week without your sweet, loving husband.

You discovered that you had missed the little things. You missed how his arms would drape over your body, deep breaths fanning your neck, lips gently caressing your shoulder blade, and soft snores filling the silent air. You both would never miss a single night of cuddling, even when you were pissed off at each other.

Your nights grew colder each day under the bedsheets, Bucky’s warmth was completely absent. He would always have a plethora of water glasses sitting half-empty on the bedside table but now it was clutter-free and bare. Missing your husband was such an unpleasant and disrupting feeling. Every single night he had been gone, you rummaged through his side of the closet and wore one of his shirts to bed. You would relish in the smell and feel of him until the shirts started to lose the essence of him. It felt soul burning and heart wrenching that he wasn’t there right beside you.

You wanted his hot touched skin to radiate onto you. You wanted his hand to slowly slide down your stomach, inching closer and closer to your aching cunt. You wanted Bucky to run a bath after sex, gently cleaning each other. You would always watch Bucky with a swelled heart as each glance and touch that was placed upon your skin was filled with adoration and passion.

You laughed a bit at yourself for having these dramatic thoughts. It’s been only one single week and yet your fire burning ache for him only grew larger. You could survive perfectly in life without him, you knew that very well. You just didn’t want that life.

You try to shake the distracting thoughts from your head, concentrating on getting ready for the dinner party.

Tonight, you were supposed to attend this party with Bucky, however, he still wasn’t home. The party is hosted by one of Bucky’s buyers. Erik was very charming and handsome, he would always have a smile on his face until it turned into a frown. However, it was mostly never aimed at the two of you, as he always had worked well with you and Bucky. He would make sure that all the shipments would arrive on time and made sure that nobody would infiltrate them. He was Bucky’s favorite client to work with, minus the too long of a stare he would occasionally send your way.

The ping of your phone hit your ears and you quickly walked over to where it sat on the counter and took a peak.

Buckaroo: Stuck in traffic. Sorry, Doll.

You sigh, that burning sensation resonated deep within you. You tried to suppress it but you were getting so desperate to see your husband. He’s back in New York now with all of the traffic, he was so close to you yet not close enough. You grabbed your purse and swiftly walked out the door, telling Happy to drive to the venue.

The tall pale mansion with large open windows now became almost like a small house in the distance. Happy went on, talking about boxing the whole way. You never minded those conversations with Happy, however, tonight you just weren’t in the mood to indulge. You just wanted to be snuggled up at home next to Bucky.

~~

You walked up the large stairs that ascended into the skyscraper. Your dress was long and elegant, shaping all of your curves in just the right way. If Bucky was right by your side, he wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off of you and suggest to leave or as he would put it, “fuck this shipment, let's go fuck each other’s brains out.”

You quietly thank the waiter and grab a glass of champagne off of the tray. You softly sip on the bubbly drink, watching people mingle here and there. You heard loud laughter, soft-spoken words, and chatter throughout the grand room.

“All alone, angel?” A light smile tipped itself onto your lips, as you turned towards the figure next to you. “Bucky had some business to take care of.” He smiled brightly at you, his charming twinkling eyes staring right at you. He opened his arm out, gesturing for you to follow. “Shall we do business then, y/n?” You giggled and nodded, interlocking your arms together, and walking towards a more private area.

You sat down at the end of the big round table, Erik was on the other side, and some of his men stood right behind him. He tapped the side of his whiskey occasionally, the ring on his finger making a soft clunk every time. You kept still, sipping your champagne and hoping the bubbles will make you lighten up a bit. You’ve done Bucky’s business countless times, Steve and Sam would always joke that you did it better than he did.

You purse your lips and cleared your throat which got his attention. “I would like to make an offer.” You pause, waiting for his approval of the matter. He nods and you open your mouth to continue. “You are well aware of Bucky’s territory, with also his recent take over of crown heights. We know you’re in control of the downtown area, Bedford Stuyvesant, and Sunset Park.” An eyebrow rose on Erik’s face, intrigue taking over his features. “We’ve noticed a couple of your men scoping out Williamsburg, Bushwick, and East New York. Those are very large neighborhoods to control.”

He nodded, taking a small sip of his whiskey before replying. “Especially with the larger amounts of the police force in those neighborhoods. It’ll be harder to control the police state.”

Now you nodded, “Exactly. So Bucky and I are proposing that we take over those neighborhoods together. With both of our resources, we’d be able to take control of the neighborhood and the police state. We’d both get the profit 50/50 and we can divide the neighborhoods evenly.”

There was a long silence, Erik’s knuckle was near his lips, and he was staring right at you. You, on the other hand, were getting obscenely nervous. Your hands started to become clammy and your mind was running through every possibility that he was thinking. You were hoping that he would at least consider it but the more amount of silence that was suffocating the air, the more nervous you became.

“I don’t think this offer is for me. Sorry, y/n.” You sigh, taking another sip of your almost empty glass. “You know, you’d be getting 50/50 of the profit.” He snapped his finger and one of his men ran to get a cigar. He pulled out a lighter from his pocket and lit the cigar, taking big puffs that were released into the air.

“I think you and I both know that it’ll be much harder than that.” Your eyes locked with his and you knew he was right. What happened if one of Bucky’s men went into his territory and started a fight? What if it happened with Erik? There were a lot of possibilities that could end up in a war but you and Bucky had already thought about them.

Especially with you and Bucky trying to have a baby, you both have to eventually refrain from indulging yourselves in the normal mob business. You both already decided to give the business off to Sam and Steve. And knowing that they have the same moral compass as Bucky, there’s no way that they’d make a huge fuss over a new lackey getting in a fight with someone. The only time they’re dealt with is when they become disloyal.

You set down your glass onto the large table, “Bucky and I have elaborated every possibility we could think of.” Your eyes didn’t meet his. You knew that he was contemplating your decision but you looked over at the strong buff men right beside him. “We could also have altering schedules. That way, there would be no problems with fights or disputes. Communication is what makes this plan full proof and I don’t think NYPD realizes how much we’re willing to cooperate.” He raised an eyebrow. You could tell that he was interested and you were well aware that his concerns were valid. After all, the two biggest mob bosses working together would be tricky. “My answer is still no.”

For another five minutes, you two were going back and forth trying to convince the other to agree and disagree. “I’ve had enough of this game, y/n.” You cursed to yourself in your head. For whatever reason, he wouldn’t budge. You could tell your bargaining skills weren’t working and the two of you were getting more and more frustrating. You tried to only stare at the empty champagne glass, trying to think of another way to get his attention to agree.

A small sly smile reaches up on your face and you curtly walk over to where he was sitting. His bodyguards jumped towards you but he lifted his hand for them to stop. You could tell he was quite entertained by how you were acting this evening.

You placed yourself on his lap, the smirk still playing on your lips. His eyes were blown wide, he seemed quite surprised. You knew that that didn’t happen often, a little bit of pride swelled inside of you. You flirtatiously placed your hand on the peak of his shoulder, then making it move so slowly down his chest.

His eyebrows furrowed and he clicked his tongue, “you’re married.” you playfully shrugged, cringing a bit in your head but you knew it was only to play the part. You had to act like Bucky wasn’t enough. His hands then went to rest on your hips. Pre Bucky days this would make you become a flustered mess, your skin would almost tremble but now, you felt nothing as his fingers dipped right into your skin.

Your eyes twinkled as you whispered seductively in his ear. “I do what I want, Erik.” You nibbled slightly on his ear, making his breath crooked. Your other hand went down his chest again, swirling and feeling his tailored suit.

“We were both born in mafia families. It was arranged.” Technically, you weren’t lying. The two of you did have an arranged marriage, however, you ended up already being in love with Bucky. So, your parents and his parents went ahead and made the deal anyway. A smirk danced on his features, a fiery look in his eyes had ignited. “Alright. I’ll take you up on that offer, y/n. If it means I get to work with you more often.” You smile brightly at your success. Sure, he would try and advance himself at you again but you would cross that bridge when you go there. You were just happy that you got the deal. After doing some more business, you tell him that Bucky is supposed to be coming home and he offered to escort you out.

You took the offer and his men urged you to follow them. You stalked behind them, walking slowly while going through the long deserted hallway. You were looking ahead when right out of nowhere, you feel a pull to your arm. You were yanked over to the wall of the hallway and taken inside a dark room. You tried to scream but a hand quickly covered your mouth. You almost elbowed whoever the fuck was trying to kidnap you until you heard that soft silky voice you know all too well.

“Miss me, sweetheart? By the looks of it, you didn’t.” You ignored the last part of his comment, not caring about whatever he said. All you cared about was being back into his arms again. “Bucky!” You quickly get out of his kidnapping hold and enveloped him into a hug. You latched onto him so fast that his body rocked back a bit.

His light chuckles filled your ears but you could tell something was off. The chuckles didn’t meet his smile nor the crinkle in his eyes. It sounded too fake. You open your mouth to say something but he quickly stops it and detached himself from you. The loss of his body, especially being so close, made you shiver.

“I can’t believe you. Was our whole relationship a lie, then?” You shook your head, not understanding his comment. Furious about what? You didn’t understand it so you opened your mouth again but was swiftly interrupted. However, this time, his large booming voice made you jump.

“I mean, seriously! Cheating on me? How long have you been doing this, huh? Is that why Erik always wants to do business with us?” You almost slapped your forehead for not getting what Bucky was talking about sooner. He must’ve seen you with Erik, assuming that you were trying to get with him.

“Buck-” He harshly grabbed your wrists and pinned you up against the hard wall. His hot breath was fanning against your ear and his body was pressed against yours. Your heart rate skyrocketed at just his touch, electricity boiling over in your stomach. “I guess you need a reminder of who you belong to.”

You shouted out many protests as he yanked you off of the wall, into another small hallway, and right out the door. His face was stern, eyebrows were completely furrowed, and there was a glassy look of rage in his eyes. You could tell he was furious, his breaths were short and light, his tongue darted out to lick his dry lips, and his left hand would coil and uncoil.

So you shut yourself right up and let him take you to a sleek black car that was right outside the building. There was no point in arguing with him when you were already in deep shit for it looking like you were cheating. He opened the passenger side and shoved you into the seat. You quickly buckle your seatbelt as he gets into the driver's side, slamming the door behind him. He started the car and without a word, started to drive home.

His knuckles almost turned white with the grip he had on the steering wheel. If you didn’t think that angry Bucky was one of the hottest things to lay your eyes on then you would be lying to yourself. His muscles were bulging out of his pants and tight shirt, a couple of veins on his forehead were thick.

For the most part, you stared out the window, occasionally sighing. You were thinking about all the ways to explain to him your situation. You knew it would be best to explain yourself when he wasn’t angry but you wanted him to know that what you were doing was just a game, it wasn’t serious. You didn’t want him to start doubting himself. You didn’t want him to leave.

You were so engrossed in your thoughts that you didn’t notice Bucky’s hand resting on your thigh and inching closer to the edge of your underwear. By the time you fully noticed, his whole hand was down your pants. He quickly pushed your panties aside with his hand and ran the pads of his fingers up and down your entrance.

A little squeak emerged from your mouth as you peaked over to see a large playful smirk on his lips. Your juices ran up and down your entrance and his fingers moved to circle your clit. “Look at that. Look at how dripping wet you already are, doll.” A delicious moan escaped your mouth, you grabbed his forearm in urgency.

“Can Erik do this? Can Erik make you wet by just simply touching you?” You didn’t have time to react as he pushed a finger inside, slowly moving in and out of your throbbing pussy. “I need words, baby doll.”

You tried to form some kind of acknowledgment but it just turned into a stuttering mess, his movements growing faster. He tried to keep his eyes on the road but he turned towards you again, seeing as your eyes were screwed shut and your head was thrown back. You had opened your legs more as Bucky had pleasured you further.

“Answer the question or I stop.” You groaned at his gruff voice, it was demanding yet sweet. He had never acted like this before, controlling and pure wanting. You two have had a lot of sex but then again, he’s never thought you cheated either.

“Erik c-can’t make me feel t-this way.” You cried out in desperation as he inserted another finger and they curled just slightly. “Who does?” A burst of pleasure erupted in your stomach, his fingers now moving at a rapid pace and his thumb went to gently caress and circle your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“You do!” You screamed, and he never took his eyes off of you. You were so close, the knot in your stomach was beginning to unfold. Everything felt like it was throbbing and tightening, your whines kept filling the air. Your pussy clenched around his fingers, letting him know that you were close.

However, then that feeling of pleasure was gone. Bucky had taken his fingers out and just left you sitting there. “Buck-”

You stared in awe as he placed his fingers in his mouth. He tasted your juices, you could almost imagine his wet tongue sucking on his fingers. He let go with a pop, placing the hand back onto the steering wheel. “You taste divine, doll. But we’re almost home.”

So, you did what you could only think of, beg. “Bucky, please. I-I need you. Please, I need your cock or your fingers, anything! Nobody compares to you, I-” his eyes flickered over towards you but he lightly shook his head. He opened his mouth but you continued, hoping that he’d stop the car and take you right here. “Please, Bucky. Nobody makes me so needy as you do. I need your fingers, your lips, and your cock. Please, I need them-”

You were whining still as he pulled up in the driveway. You were interrupted by his car door opening and you quickly got out as well. You were about to get his attention again until he threw you over his shoulder and took large steps, stalking into the house.

“You’ve forgotten how I make you feel, or else you wouldn’t have flirted with Erik.” He didn’t waste any time and he set you on top of the large kitchen island. He pushed you down onto it, the cold marble hitting your back. He quickly undid his belt and roughly ripped your panties off. His plump lips went to immediately attack your neck, sucking and biting.

A large, tight gasp lifted upon your lips, his thick cock was sliding back and forth, teasing your entrance. “Bucky, please!” Your body couldn’t help but writhe on the island as he slammed his thick cock into you. His pace was fast and hard, his fingers went to circle your clit again which made you squirm underneath him. “Fuck, babydoll.”

“Yes, yes, fuck,” You screamed out, grabbing the ends of the island your hands almost cramping from how tight you were holding on to it.

“You’re mine, you got that? My beautiful, sexy wife. I can’t live without you, doll.” the sound of skin on skin was loud and thick, you were moaning and whimpering as his cock filled you up just right. You started to feel that tight coil again, “You going to cum, baby? I want you to cum all over me, okay?”

He sounded desperate, almost begging for him to feel you orgasm all over him. You moaned his name over and over again, your mind only thinking about your husband. “Let it go, baby. I got you.” You let out a long cry, cumming all over his cock. Sloppy juices ran down your thighs and it covered Bucky whole. A low groan sounded from his throat, continuing to push himself in and out of you.

A long moan escaped his mouth. He was about to take himself out of you but you stopped him, urging for him to cum inside of you. “Doll, if you don’t want to-” You shook your head, pressing your forehead against his. “I want to, Buck. I want a baby with you.”

Just that sentence had hit him over the edge, his head was forced back and his eyes were snapped shut. You could feel his cum inside of you, he shouted your name over and over again. He continued shooting himself all in you, and your moans were mixed. You were both panting, no words were shared for quite some time. His hands then lowered from your stomach to your hips, squeezing them a bit.

He went to open his mouth, a concerned look was given your way but this time, you interrupted him. “I got the deal.” His hands still rested on your hips but his head cocked to the side in confusion. “What?”

You nodded, taking your hand and resting your palm against his cheek. He subconsciously leaned towards the warmth of your hand. “I’m so so sorry that you had to see what you did. I promise you though, you’re enough.” Tears had fully rolled down his face, his sniffles filling the air. After what he had seen earlier, he needed to hear that. “You’re more than enough, Buck—you’re the sunshine in my life.”

Your sobs punctured the air, your chest tightening even more at the thought of Bucky becoming insecure because of you. He lifts his lips into a small smile while you move your thumb up and down on his cheek.

His body became closer now, his torso between your thighs. “Erik wouldn’t budge when I offered him the deal. He kept refusing and it was getting to the point where we were both just so frustrated. I had a hunch that he found me attractive. So, I used that to my advantage and we got the 50/50 deal on territory and profits.” A large smile burst onto Bucky’s face, he seemed very relieved that what he saw wasn’t true.

“Oh, you flirt!” You slapped his chest, both of your bubbly laughter engulfing the kitchen. “Now that I know the truth, I’m not going to lie, you deceiving others is pretty hot.” His hand reached down and intertwined it with yours. A hum left his lips as the hand that was on your cheek moved to play with his hair.

“It’s hot, huh? Guess I should do it more often.” His forehead leaned down to touch yours, a light content sigh leaving his lips. “I’m serious, Buck. I love you more than anything.” His hand reached up and touched the shape of your nose, eyes flickering around your face almost like he was memorizing it. “I love you too, doll.”

He straightened up a bit, his sweet smile turning into a cocky smirk. “Well then, for getting the deal done, we should have victory sex.” You giggled, pressing a long-overdue kiss on his lips. “I think that’s a great idea. But this time, baby, I’m in charge.” He chuckled, lifting your torso so you were now wrapped around his body and he started walking towards the bedroom. “Anything for you, my beautiful wife.”