#love seeing bruce being a sore loser

[daydreamerwonderkid]

What a fucking baby, lol

Ya know ... I wouldn't be surprised if Alfred banned trivia games from Family Game Night/Wayne Manor completely.

Knowing the Batkids, they would be just as competitive as Bruce and/or go out of their way to antagonize each other and Bruce (mostly Bruce, let's be real) with wrong answers only.

Honestly, I wouldn't even be surprised if Alfred had to deal with toddler Bruce throwing a tantrum of epic proportions over an argument regarding some obscure fact related to the first discovered dinosaur or the various theories surrounding the Mary Celeste.

You cannot tell me that Bruce hasn't always been an extremely weird kid with hyperniche interests and a horrific competitive streak. Poor Alfred, lmao

(Also, Bruce throwing the Oliver Queen disguise at Alfred was a nice extra touch. Fuck, I loved that gag so much this episode).

[movedmovedsoup]

Bruce Yamada x gn ! reader

“sore loser!”

i think we can all agree bruce needs some love on here😭💕 but first off i just wanna say thank you ! to @robinsrelic who helped me a whole lot with this prompt !! you should totally go check her out her writing is incredible !! //

@an34l your ask was similar to this !

you were new to the denver area. originally from arizona, you had moved across the state because of a job opportunity your aunt had about two or so weeks ago. you lived with her since you were a baby, you didn’t question anything about your parents. it was the least of your concern. but what was the number one concern for you, the number one priority for you. was baseball. you had been playing the sport for quite a while, from classes to little league, to some type of professional team. and the moment you heard that north denver had something to offer, that being a baseball team you almost wasted no time signing up for try outs, that happened to fall on today. the few new friends you had would describe you as a all around good person. you were all the basics, kind, smart, helpful. but one of the many human flaws you had was that..you were kinda of a sore loser. you absolutely loved to win, no matter what. despite the love you had for winning you always tried not to play dirty. knowing it was basically cheating and you couldn’t stand that. sure, you could be annoying and cocky but it was only on the field when you got fired up. outside of the game you were a good natured person. well as good as you could be. everyone had flaws of course. but today was the day, try outs of course.

you could feel pride swelling within your chest as you did some last minute warm ups to make sure you weren’t rusty one bit. once deeming yourself un-rusty and presentable, you ushered your aunt to drive you over to the park. to which she happily obliged, aunt alice loved watching you play, as she was the one who got you into baseball as a pastime in the first place. before it became all that you could live and breath. once hitting the ball park you could feel yourself slightly clam up. sure this was always, always, always going to happen. when coming to a new environment of course you were going to be nervous. checking in with the coach he sat you down in one of the cages with the rest of the people who were trying out. you kept a sharp eye on each and everyone of them who were going before you. seeing the flaws and mistakes they made with their form, batting technique and how fast they were. until it was you up there, almost like those rats you dissect for science in fourth period. being watched from every angle on how you look and the abilities you have. adjusting the smallest bit of attention onto who was being the pitcher you raised the smallest brow, the expression wasn’t noticeable under the baseball cap. you weren’t to judge but the pitcher was a rather scrawny boy, with frizzy curls popping out of his cap. despite putting the smallest bit of attention into him, once you saw the baseball in mind air you immediately went into action.

gripping the bat so hard your knuckles turned a slight white, you aligned yourself with the bat and the hurling ball. praying that the good hand to eye coordination would come to show in your moves. the minute you hit the ball and when the aggressive noise made it to your ears you wasted no time dropping the bat and running for it. but from the corner of your eye, realizing the ball was nowhere to be seen and a grin and the realization had hit you.

you had struck a homerun.

oh how you absolutely basked in that mini moment of glory. now the smirk was undeniable, everyone who looked at you could see it as you sped walk to the bases. looking over at the coach as he looked back at you, nodding with a light smile of approval before yelling out something to the other team. “this kid is already pretty good!! watch out bruce i think you got some competition!”

your world seemed to very quickly take a halt as you looked over at the coach with a more, confused look per say. with eyebrows furrowed and that grin getting slapped silly off of you, you didn’t like the idea of someone being as good as you. but at the same time, ‘competition’ the word made the grin slowly come back onto your face. it meant you were better and greater than this bruce dude. who was he anyway?? as break time was called for the coaches to decided who and who they didn’t want on their team, you dug through the duffle bag you brought with you. bringing out a bottle of water as a voice from behind started to speak to you. “god..your arm is mint..! you definitely had me right there, giving me a run for my money…?” the boy, who you concluded to be that bruce guy from earlier trailed off in his sentence. probably just then realizing he didn’t know your actual name. with a sharp turn to look over at him, your back originally facing him. “y/n” you started. “my name is y/n you are bruce right?” you asked with a raised brow. the boy seemed to immediately brighten up more, if that was even possible considering he was beaming at the fact you knew his name. but it wasn’t the cocky, ‘oh yeah you know my name’ but more of a ‘oh! you know my name!’ type of beaming. with a small sigh you returned back to your bag, throwing it over your shoulder as you soon tried to walk away from him.

only to hear footsteps quickly following after your own. as bruce quickly went to your side, sticking by it. he looked at you with a confused expression as he semi-expected you to at least speak a little. which..you some what did. “yes bruce ?? is there anything else you need?” you asked curiously as you sat down on the bleachers. subtly surprised as bruce quickly took a seat next to you. “er…i was wondering how’d you get into baseball? you’re pretty amazing at it ! you definitely impressed the coaches-“ “flattery doesn’t work on me bruce” you cut him off with a shake of your head, the two of you quickly put your attention back into the coaches as they announced who was on the team and who wasn’t. of course your name was announced for being on ‘high mountain lions’

you thought the name was stupid but didn’t complain a whole bunch. now you had something to waste time on. as you got ready to leave bruce had walked over and congratulated you on earning a spot on the team. his opponent team. when your lips curled into a grin he took this as a friendly gesture, quickly returning the smile before you let out a small laugh and shook your head. “ pretty boy bruce you can’t be all chummy with me..” you paused for a moment looking straight at him. “who knows maybe the coaches might wake up one day and decide i surpass your skills?” you knew exactly what nerve to hit him with, he seemed shocked by your words as you simply sighed. “have a nice day.” and with that, you walked off to home.

now that was about a month ago. from there on bruce had been giving his absolute all in the games against your team, which you definitely didn’t mind he was giving you the same energy back. yet he was absolutely persistent in going against you specifically. and he got his wish. but it ended up with your team loosing the biggest game of the season. and you felt like it was all your fault. you went up to the batting cage ready to bat, you hit the ball as per usual and ran to the first base, as you were running your glance had lingered to bruce. his eyes already on you and extremely unexpectedly. he had winked at you, with his usual sunny side smile. the action had definitely caught you off guard. making your jaw go slack for a minute before making contact with the grass. tripping over your own feet and sliding on the grass, staining your crisp white uniform pants with grass stains. you were supposed to be the tie breaker and here you were. on the ground, baseball cap slightly dropped down on your head. as the enemy team lifted bruce and cheered him on.

remember how you hated loosing? yeah, well this was definitely not your day. you just got finished shaking hands with the other team, admittedly a little aggressive. it was smeared all over your face, from the furrowed eyebrows, clenched fist and the mixture of the pouting lip and strong frown you had. there was no hiding you were absolutely bummed out. as you shook hands with bruce he chuckled slightly at the attitude you had. “seems like the coaches might not swap me out will they?” he whispered over to you. to which you simply rolled your eyes and scoffed, yanking your hand away from his before getting dismissed and grabbing your equipment going into the changing rooms to get back into your normal clothing. as you stepped out taking a sharp turn before almost bumping into bruce. who seemed equally as surprised. you crossed your arms defensively already not in the mood.

“now what is it now bruce? god you just don’t give up do you?“ you asked with a hint of amusement in your voice. adjusting the stance you had, leaning on one of the polls of the bleachers. you didn’t know why but you found yourself fighting a smile. as much as you were up his neck bickering at him for anything he did, you oddly found it enjoying. quickly scattering your attention back to bruce as he spoke. “i was thinking..to make up for your horrible-“ he quickly cut himself off once seeing the scowl on your face. “i mean your unfortunate win.” oh now he was just teasing with you. chuckling he shook his head dismissively, a stray curl resting in the middle of his forehead. “no need to get hostile” “oh i’ll show you hostile-“ not allowing you to actually show him what hostility really was, he swiftly slung your equipment bag over his shoulder. “i was wondering if..you’d like to go to that arcade off of 18th street..?” his voice was hesitant and his eyes slightly closed. possibly expecting the worse from you. he was never like this when he asked out any of the other girls or when he just casually spoke with them. it took you a minute to actually realize what he was saying. you blinked twice to comprehend it. with an exaggerated sigh you pretended to think about it and nodded.

“now you are so glad you are growing on me pretty boy bruce.” you teased, letting the smallest smile slip out. to which bruce seemed to get a kick out of. before sighing and shaking his head. “didn’t i tell you to please stop calling me that?” you simply shrugged with a sly smile, before taking his arm pulling it along as you walked. trying to fight off the burning sensation you felt in your face. before tugging him down to your level. “next game i’m gonna win and you better not try to play dirty.” unlike your usual semi-empty threats this one definitely didn’t sound like one at all. from all the giddiness you had felt dancing around in your stomach you couldn’t help but turn away and laugh a little as bruce watched in admiration. as the two of you started to walk again, hands inching towards each other little by little . admiring the nice sky above you two, accompanied by finney blake’s rocket shooting up into the sky.

maybe loosing wasn’t exactly bad this time?

[syiano]

The avengers men when they get introduced to the readers parents and it goes well (HEY BUBS! ITS THE FOREIGN READER HOW ARE YOU?!)

OMG AYEE WHATS UP FOREIGN READER ANON?? I'VE BEEN DOING GOOD I HOPE YOU'RE DOING AWESOME- 💕💕

{Requested}

Avengers x Male!Reader

Marvel Preferences: They Meet Your Parents

Steve is only a tiny bit nervous, since you're the one who motivates him and lets him know everything is going to go just fine.

When everything is going well, you'll notice him becoming more talkative, and he finds himself just relaxing, loving the domestic life he's always wanted.

At first, Bucky immediately refuses and tells you this is a horrible idea. He needs lots of reassuring and time to finally convince him, and he's still nervous when you take him to meet your parents.

He's surprised and shocked that meeting your parents went so well, but doesn't know what to think about it. Bucky is shy at first, but you'll notice him open up more when they continue talking to him and treating him so well. He usually sits back and likes to enjoy your family have fun together and get along, and feels so included when they would invite him to join them.

Yes, Tony expects them to be protective and not like him, especially since y'know, you're dating the 'well known playboy'. He's as the whole 'let's get this over with' attitude and seems not really enthusiastic about it.

Since he's pretty famous, your family may have been excited about seeing him, and he doesn't know show surprised he is. He still his usual sarcastic self, overall, though.

Sam is pretty chill about meeting your parents.

He expected meeting your parents to go well anyway, so he's not really surprised. Sam cracks alot of jokes to make them laugh, and also offers to help them with cooking or anything other chores they have.

Scott is in between being nervous and excited (he said he might throw up from being both). He keeps thinking and talking about all the possibilities that could happen the entire time when you're taking him to your parents house.

He completely forgets what he was so paranoid about, and he's all bubbly and open when it comes to spending time with your family. He shows them magic tricks, only to be proud when they might be entertained by it. Scott shows how much he likes to have fun, only for them get worried when they see how clumsy he is.

Peter is nervous and asks your family what they like so he can bring a gift for them. You have to hold his hand to ground him and let him know everything is going to be okay, 'cause boy is he nervous.

When everything goes so well, he feels relived and a little silly for being so nervous about it, and you'll notice he's being talkative and open, and loves talking to them about technology.

Bruce is a little nervous but he doesn't want to completely reject the idea of meeting your parents. He decides to give it a try, though he's not certain that it will go very well.

When everything goes well to his surprise, he's a little shy and awkward around them, even if they are treating him well. He's trying not to start anything bad or mess anything up, but he does still relax a little when they're keeping him company. But if they ask him anything science related? You'll notice how much more talkative he is when they ask him anything about it.

Thor is exicted to meet your parents. He isn't nervous or worried at all, and he's positive that everything will go well (which it does).

He accidentally ends up making conversations awkward without realizing it and sometimes asks about the things they do only to try to help them. Your family has to show him just the basic 'Midgardian' traditions (which is may still not understand).

Loki had repeatedly told you that this was a bad idea. Not that he would dislike your parents, it's just that he doesn't think they would like him (and he's scared they might somehow take you away from him). You have to do alot to convince him, and when you finally do, he's still not really happy about it.

When he meets them and he comes to know they actually love him, he's so surprised and is doesn't know what to do when they treat him so well. He's a little quiet when they want to get to know him better, and he's still cautious on what happens and what he tells them.

Pietro tries to hide how nervous he is by saying that meeting your parents isn't necessary, but he knows if the roles were switched, he would love it if you were to meet his parents, too. So, he does give in pretty quickly and goes with you to meet them.

When meeting your parents goes well, he likes to show off and impress them with his speed, and feels proud when they would priase him. He also makes lots of jokes to make them laugh, and likes to play with them (only to be a sore loser later on).

[tvitr]

uwu I don’t make the ruwules

(Okay fine, reasons/opinions below the cut but be warned! I won’t be holding back on game or book spoilers. Or rambling. This got longer than I anticipated lol)

BETTER IN THE BOOK

Eis “Fireman Sam” Glover: I don’t know what the game was trying to do with this one. I guess he gets overwhelmed by the fire and loses his composure or gets scared or... something?  Also why did he not bring a hose. Or a mask.  This is why so many reviewers thought Wonderworld was a metaphor for purgatory and all the inhabitants are dead I swear. Who cares, the book handled it a lot better. I wouldn’t say it’s perfect, but there’s definitely a good idea here with some interesting themes. The gist is that he feels ashamed following his captain’s orders to retreat during a serious blaze, which his colleagues disobeyed, and his colleagues are later hailed as heroes by the press.  Is Balan the Book trying to take on toxic masculinity...? How brave. Tl;dr, the book conveyed the story a Hell of lot better than the game. Honestly I’m surprised this is the only one.

BETTER IN THE GAME

Haoyu “Airplane Boi” Chang: So the book tried waaaay too hard to draw a parallel between Haoyu and Fiona (aka, Dolphin Girl) to the point that they both share a similar backstory, in that they had a hobby which led to a near-fatal accident and now they’re too traumatised to resume said hobby. And that’s not a bad thing per se but... “near fatal accident” was already Fiona’s backstory. We didn’t need a duplicate. And this is more personal preference, but I kinda liked Haoyu’s story in the game anyway. His failure at building a functioning aeroplane out of crap he found in his garage is endearingly funny in the game, and the resolution of him taking time out to sit down and study before building anything is a nice spin on the whole “if at first you don’t succeed” theme the chapter wanted. 

Sana “Bird Lady” Hudson: So the book decided they didn’t want to make Cal an angry sore loser so guess what? They made Sana an angry misanthrope. Wonderful. Okay maybe that’s harsh, but she definitely came off as very bitter and unsympathetic in the book. Like there’s a scene at the end where she harasses a firefighter and tries to steal a fire engine because they’re working on a building fire and not supervising her park. That’s not a character you wanna root for. That’s a Karen. The game had a better plot thread and resolution to her story rather than a boring cookie-cutter “humans vs. nature grrrr humans are so evil” story, like the game story here had a bit more depth to it and approached the topic more maturely than the book did. Which is ironic considering how hilariously edgy the book gets sometimes, but I guess throwing a few smashed eggs and frozen bird skeletons into your story doesn’t mean anything if you’re still going to paint such a black-and-white narrative.

Iben “Frozen Elsa” Bia: This story didn’t need dialogue. Like... we don’t need her to justify why she’s upset her parents are dead because we’d already assume that. They’re her parents! Of course we’d assume she’d be upset! They died! Simultaneously! That’s horrible! WE DON’T NEED HER TO EXPLAIN THIS! Also her dialogue in the book was... pretty terrible, not gonna lie. Like if you’re gonna insist on dialogue at least make it gOOD. I’m actually planning on just reviewing her book scene so I can fully articulate just how bad it is anyway, so stay tuned for that mess lol.

FINE IN BOTH

I mean there’s not really too much to say here but anyways:

Jose/”The Farmer” having a family in the book gives him a bit more depth, even if we never hear from them again after his backstory dump.

Fiona/”Dolphin Girl” almost drowns in a slightly different way, with a dolphin straight up pulling her mask off rather than knocking it out of her mouth, and the book also goes more into detail about her love for diving and dolphins. Also the book ships her and Haoyu like. So hard. Like they never shut up about how similar they are or what they other’s doing or if the other’s okay or not. By the end of it I was expecting them to just start making out in front of everyone, they’re that obsessed with each other. And it would be funny if they didn’t use this to wreck Haoyu’s backstory like I mentioned earlier.

Yuri/”Bug Kid”/”Is that a Pokémon reference?” is now being kinda bullied for liking bugs, which yeah gives her more depth and reason to be upset but I also kinda related to her just being that One Kid with interests that nobody else had. But it’s not as bad as some of the other changes, so I can let it slide.

Atillio/Clown and Bruce/Old Man are the same, nothing to say here.

Lucy/”The Artist” is a total drama queen but then again so are Art People so I can let it slide. I did like them changing her problem from “artist’s block” (seriously?) to her feeling too under pressure to create masterpieces, unless that’s what the game was aiming for? Oh who cares.

JUST A BIG MESS

Cass “Dead Cat Girl” Milligan: This is a weird one because the story is the same between the game and book (though the book mentions she witnessed a more severe car accident rather than a speeding car which she assumes kills the cat, and the cat isn’t even her cat, it’s a stray) but the story itself is... flawed. According to the book, they wanted to convey the idea that running away from the accident was irresponsible, and she just needed to look back and she’d see her cat is okay, but the game kind of makes it look more like Balan turned back time to save her cat, and the book mentions a serious car crash which I don’t think anyone would willingly return to. I feel there’s a better way to convey this idea of being responsible for your pets, like say her cat escapes from the house and gets lost, and her resolution is going out and properly looking for it. That’s a more effective (and natural) way to relay that message, especially as they weren’t going to commit to the idea of grieving a lost pet.

I’M CONFLICTED

Cal “Chess Daddy” Suresh: God this was a tough call. On one hand Cal’s game backstory is one of the ones most YouTube players single out as the weakest backstory in the game. He’s just “that guy who lost one game of chess”. Being right before Iben’s level certainly doesn’t help. I could honestly write a separate post about how bad the story placements are in this game but that’s too long for here.  On the other hand, I still... kinda like it? Like I like this idea of him being a sore loser with a bad temper who needs to learn some humility, sure it’s not as serious as “I almost drowned” or “my parents are dead” but one of the few good things about the game is that it balanced “serious” stories with “benign” ones, if that makes sense. HOWEVER His book scene is... probably one of the best written in the whole book. Which isn’t saying much, but it felt like it hit the intended degree of darkness that the rest of the book was trying to hit. One of my main issues with the book is how much it edged up everyone’s backstory, which doesn’t sound bad but when you have 12 characters with edgy backstories to sit through, it starts to feel like a 14 year old's first attempt at writing an angsty fanfiction very quickly. And yes, Cal’s story is dark and angsty but it felt like the perfect balance of dark and angsty. Or as perfect as the book can get. Like even Balan’s annoying rhyming dialogue sounded good for the tone of the scene. Man maybe I should just do a review of both his backstories in a bigger post.  Obviously I could be biased because I’m a sucker for chess aesthetics and dark skinned men with long permed hair so I’m just putting more thought into him but still.

[tickle-bugs]

Justice League Headcanons

So...yeah. Blame @fickle-tiction and @fanficsandfluff but I can’t get JL out of my head. I know next to nothing in terms of canon and I only enjoy a handful of DC movies, so this is the beginning of what I am calling the BEU (Bug Extended Universe). 

Essentially, in the words of Nick Fury, ‘I recognize your canon, but seeing as it’s a stupid-ass canon, I have elected to ignore it :)’. A mish-mash of everything I’ve learned about DC through osmosis and my own personal vibe checks :)

This is absurdly long so everything is under the cut:

Clark Kent

- Superman? NO, Superdork. 

- He’s extremely clumsy. If he wasn’t as fast as a speeding bullet he’d get his ass handed to him ten times over. He has two left feet. 

- He has a sweet tooth like no one’s business. Lois once found him perched on the kitchen counter at 3 am eating the donuts she brought home from work. 

- Super playful and affectionate! King of bear hugs! Country boy I love youuuuuuu

- Curses like a sailor. Do you really think Clark ‘Smallville, Kansas’ Kent is wholesome? He stubbed his toe once and yelled FUCK so loud that the windows vibrated. Everyone who isn’t in the league thinks he’s a boyscout but the league knows the truth. 

- Forgets about his powers a lot. He has been known to run through walls/take doors off their hinges when he’s excited. 

- Goblin. He loves messing with Bruce and roping Barry into his schemes. 

- Clark being ticklish is actually smth that can be so personal? His laugh is so loud and he always goes ‘sorry’ and tries to be quieter but it does NOT work. He has flight instincts more than fight instincts so he often starts unconsciously floating away when he’s tickled it’s so cute. He giggles a lot and he’s not particularly embarrassed by it.

- Do NOT get me started on ler Clark I could write a dissertation. He is SO playful and teasy but also sweet? He definitely is the type to laugh along with his lee. He definitely allows any sort of retaliation/fighting back like,,, if you manage to crawl away it’s because he let you, and if he wants too, he can be very mean and immovable.

- Bruce and Barry are his favorite targets. He doesn’t go after Diana because, frankly, he doesn’t have a death wish. He loves to cause problems on purpose by squeezing Arthur’s side and then blaming it on Barry. (Hal Jordan isn’t in the DCEU Justice League but I wish he was...they’d be partners in crime <3)

Bruce Wayne

- Okay let’s clarify some things: he’s not actually an asshole. He can be abrasive and snarky but he’s more towards the sarcastic gruff side vs straight-up mean.

- A lot of people think he’s genuinely an asshole/disconnected rich guy because he has a terrible habit of zoning out/interrupting people? Bruce actually just has intense ADHD that he refuses to get diagnosed, no matter how much Alfred pushes him. He doesn’t care what people think about him and he’s mostly learned how to manage it, so he leaves it alone.

- That being said, his friendship with Barry has me :’) Yes, he thinks Barry’s a pest (affectionate), but they share a few science-related hyperfixations (robotics, chemical engineering, etc). They can frequently be found holed up in the Batcave with a week’s worth of food and caffeine, and they’re just....tinkering. Watching them at work is amazing because as much as they annoy each other, they respect each other :)

- He’s 100% a cat person. He doesn’t have a problem with dogs, he just prefers cats. He feeds the strays that hang out around the Manor all the time...

-...which Alfred begs him not to do, because Bruce is severely allergic. He thinks he can power through the allergies until one of the stray cats does the face-headbump thing and he’s incapacitated emotionally and physically for the rest of the day. 

- He severely restrains his emotions but like...catch him on a good day or in a good mood and he’ll smile and laugh, especially in friendly company. He just generally believes in maintaining a poker face so no one can read him. 

- Not to be disrespectful but...thighs. I am Looking. 

- Bruce has a wonderful laugh. He’s not much of a giggler tbh but he has this open, clear, slightly scratchy kinda laugh (his voice is permanently hoarse from the Batman Voice). It’s so lovely. He has a habit of covering his mouth bc he’s embarrassed of his smile but if he finds something very funny he’ll laugh openly. 

- Thee Batman is ticklish and he...doesn’t hate it? Like of course he protests ten ways from Sunday but he more minds the ‘guys stop you’re ruining my dark and brooding facade’ bit. He hates being teased though and he will throw hands. 

- Circling back to the emotions thing, he’s very good at controlling his reactions, which means he has thoroughly convinced everyone he’s not ticklish. Except Clark, stupidly perceptive Clark, because he can hear Bruce’s heartbeat and see the way he clenches his jaw to avoid smiling. 

Diana Prince

- WIFEY!!!!! 

- Diana is hilarious okay? She’s just...so fucking funny. Her jokes never miss. You wouldn’t think she’s the quippy type, but she is, and she’s damn good at it. In a distant alternate universe, Peter Parker senses a rival. 

- Loves fresh fruit, but especially strawberries? She makes frequent trips to the local farmer’s market. 

- She also has a raging sweet tooth. She and Clark work together to steal sweets and buy snacks. 

- Will not back down from a challenge, ever. It’s kinda a problem.

- She has such a sweet laugh :’) It’s so bouncy and melodic and she scrunches her nose. She WILL snort and it’s the cutest thing ever. Yes she’s ticklish, but no one gets more than five seconds of laughter out of her before she turns the tables. 

- World’s meanest ler. Not only is she frequently on the prowl, she is near-ruthless, especially if she’s been baited. Once she sets her sights on someone, she won’t rest until she’s heard their laugh. 

- Diana is very mischievous and loves hearing her friends laugh. It’s impossible to be in her vicinity for more than five minutes without at LEAST a few pokes. She is not above just,,, random tickles either. 

- Nails. That is all. 

Arthur Curry

- Why are his tiddies always out? Someone please explain.

- The most targeted for pranks ever. Diana especially. Something about him just attracts goblinism. 

- He’s coming for Clark’s bear hugger crown. He picks people up so often that they’re just used to it now. 

- Playfighting and roughhousing is his love language. He absolutely loves wrestling with anyone who’ll humor him. He and Diana frequently tussle because they’re both good sports about it (Bruce is a little bit of a sore loser. Just a smidge). 

- Thinks he can get away with anything, which is decidedly not true. He just nopes his way out of the room and everyone’s like D:< get back here and atone for your sins!!! But Arthur’s already in the Pacific Ocean. 

- I like to think he’s ticklish, just not super ticklish y’know? He probably has a couple hidden spots that make him lose it though. Like he’ll definitely laugh and fall over, but he can and will fight back. Oh boy, will he fight back. 

- Batman: No fear.

Diana and Arthur sneaking up behind him:

Batman: One fear. 

- Y’know that picture of Jason Momoa sneaking up behind Henry Cavill on the red carpet? That is extremely relevant. Arthur loves to sneak up behind people and just...take them down. 

- Thinks Barry is annoying (affectionate) and the two of them are constantly chasing each other around. Barry is fast but Arthur’s strong (and wayy less ticklish than Barry)

- Physical affection!! He always has his arms around someone’s shoulders or something. He’s just a touchy kind of guy :)

Barry Allen

- Speedy boy! ADHD king! Sometimes his thoughts are also at superspeed, which means he talks way too fast and no one can understand him? But Bruce speaks fluent Barry and he translates often (though not without a labored sigh beforehand). 

- Physically affectionate but casual about it? He likes to play with people’s hands while he’s talking, bump shoulders with whoever he’s next to, etc. He doesn’t really realize he does it either. It’s not uncommon for him to be talking to Clark or Diana and they just...unconsciously give him their hand before he reaches for it.

- Okay so y’know how Bruce feeds the strays? Who do you think lets them in the first place? Barry has tried to adopt every stray he comes across, and when Alfred inevitably says no, Barry runs them to the shelter himself :’)

- Gifting is his love language!!! If he sees anything that remotely reminds him of his friends, he brings it to them. 

- He likes to hang out with Victor because he’s quiet, but doesn’t mind when Barry rambles, which he tends to do quite often. Barry will catch himself rambling and trail off, but Victor will encourage him to keep going, because he’s listening. 

- Thee Pillsbury Doughboy. Just these high-pitched, bouncy, frantic giggles that only get worse and eventually morph into cackles. He hiccups a lot too :’)

- Okay so he’s not a flailer but he’s super squirmy. Barry will cling onto his ler’s arms just to hold onto something. He kicks his legs too (he does this when he’s not being tickled either, if he laughs and he’s sitting somewhere he kicks). He also just constantly tries to crawl away. If he isn’t pinned down he will drag himself to safety. He also has a habit of curling up :’)

- Absolutely invented the speed-tickle. He actually doesn’t often use his powers (unless he’s chasing down Clark, because Clark isn’t above breaking the sound barrier to escape). He’s just got incredible hand-eye coordination and precision. His hands will be absolutely everywhere and he is so teasy about it. 

- Tries not to start fights he can’t finish, but he always gets roped into Clark’s mischief and gets targeted with revenge tickles. 

- He has tickled Clark once. It was incredible, amazing, showstopping, spectacular. Literally his crowning achievement. Did Clark absolutely destroy him afterwards? Yes, but it was so worth it. 

Victor Stone

- Quiet and stoic, but he’s always preferred listening and interjecting with a joke or two. 

- Closest with Barry and Diana, but he’s making an effort to bond with everyone.

- Unfortunately not ticklish :( I like to think soft touches on his face will make him smile and lean away, but it’s not going to get a laugh from him.

- Doesn’t often get involved in tickly shenanigans, but when he does, he surprises everyone with how much fun he has. A different, warmer side of him comes out when he’s among his friends.

- He’s a hugger! Definitely awkward about it, but he loves hugs and just...holding his friends. 

- He collects hoodies. He can’t really feel them when he’s wearing them, but he likes them and the idea of it. Barry seems to slip him a new hoodie every week. Victor has no idea where he gets them from but he’s not complaining. 

- He is an enabler. He will look at Bruce like :| “no, I don’t know where Barry and Clark are, nor do I no what they’re planning” But they’re literally right behind Bruce, about to squeeze his sides. 

- That being said, he won’t do that with Diana. If she asks where they are, he’ll subtly nod his head in their direction. Even in jest, he will never lie to her. Which makes him Thee person to avoid when Diana’s on her mischievous streaks.

[internalsealpanic]

Of Midnight Smoothies and Murder Mysteries

Summary:  Sneaking out for a movie turns out to be a bad idea. 

A/n: So... this was supposed to com out on Halloween then I confessed about thirst then my priorities shifted. Well, since I don’t celebrate Thanksgiving this is just extended Halloween. It would be funny to do a Thanksgiving thing with the Batfam.  Thanks to @littleredwing89 and @lucy-roo for proof reading this crack. Thanks for @ereawrites for the encouragement. And thanks to @littleredwing89​ for the mood board. (I love you my dear enabler.) Also “[ ]” will indicate characters speaking in a different language. I sadly could not find grammar stuff for the language so you will have to bear with me.  This is still part of the Merc! Reader series. 

Warnings: Gore, a lot of blood, dumb bickering, Dick being a cute dork, and snake bleps.

Main Masterlist 

Series Masterlist

"Aliens don't exist," You huff around your thoroughly chewed straw, swirling the radioactive green smoothie Dick insisted that you try. You debate on whether to take out the bag of confectioners sugar you bought and pour it in. Dick makes a noise, indiscernible with his own straw in his mouth. You cast a glance at him only to see his neon blue smoothie spurting out of his nose. Your snort quietly, the noise hidden by the rustling of grocery bags against your bouncing leg but based on the way he’s pouting at you, Dick clearly sees your lack of sympathy and takes offense. You shrug at him. 

 Brushing the liquid away with the sleeve of his denim jacket, Dick levels you his best batglare. You give him an impassive half-asleep response of ‘hnnn’ which just gave him flashbacks about talking to Bruce. You’re entirely too focused on the fact that the blue of the smoothie is still alarmingly stark even against the blue of the denim.  “You’ve met Superman, right?”

 You roll your eyes at his piss poor attempt at intimidating you and pinch your straw between your thumb and index finger, trying to break apart the clumps of ice preventing you from getting more smoothie. “-Met is a strong word-” You drawled causing him to sneer.  “Just say he kicked your ass six ways to Sunday like a normal person.”

 “I fought him.”

 “You got your ass beat-” You glare at him sticking your green tongue out at him and in return he sticks his blue tongue out at you. It was true but he didn’t have to say it. This is always how your long-held arguments start. 

 “Besides, aren’t you and Slade metas?” He breaks in after a long moment, instantly cutting off the possibility of weeks of not talking to each other. You smile balefully at him. “Precisely.”

 “What? How does you being a weirdo disprove aliens?” 

 You make an affronted sound through your nose but launch into your explanation in your professorial voice. “The guy’s gotta be some kind of meta and he probably just came up with the Krypton thing afterwards. It sounds cooler, yanno?” 

 Dick looks up to the smog covered Gotham sky, leaning back against the solid brick pillar behind him. “Well, why can’t he be an alien?” He says dreamily tracing unseen constellations with his right hand. You briefly remember him mentioning stargazing with his parents when he was younger. There is something warm in the memory even if it wasn’t yours.  You look down at him, eyebrow ticking. “Ok genius, tell me why there would be aliens that look exactly like us?”

 “Why not?” He says grinning at you. The sterile lighting of the grocery store light filtering through smudgy windows highlighting his features. The shadows highlighting the shape of his cheekbones and the dimples forming at the edges of his cheeks.  When had Dick gone from cute to handsome? You shake your head, avoiding his smiling corscian blue eyes. 

 “Becaaauuuuuse, dipshit, that’s not how evolution works” You bite out. 

 “What about convergent evolution?” He offers casually and your tongue freezes. A light flickers in his eyes and his pretty mouth twitch up into a laugh when you fail to respond. “You forgot about that, didn’t you? HA”

 “I regret this conversation.”

 “HA”

 “Superman fanboy” you accuse, jabbing a finger into his chest. Dick giggles either from your weak deflection or the fact he’s ticklish, either way, your stomach does somersaults.  

 “Just say you’re wrong.” He says grinning, the divots formed by his dimples becoming more apparent.  You feel Yasiri’s tail flick across your collarbone, her body coiling up in response to your irritation. Your mouth curls too but the irritation doesn’t quite boil over as you expected it to, not when  Dick smiles at you like that. There’s a strange twisting in your stomach. You aren’t sure what it is but you’re pretty sure that you don’t like it. You blow out a breath, sound caught between a tired laugh and a long-suffering sigh, and pick your grocery bags before getting up. 

 Not even 5 seconds after you resolve to abandon him, Dick’s already by your side, falling into step with you bumping his shoulder against yours in a placating gesture. Yasiri slithers from the skin on the base of your neck to hiss at him. Dick smiles at her unfazed despite the clear and present danger. He pets her without much fuss from your usually ferocious snake. You make an amused noise at her compliance. 

 The walk is spent in easy companionable silence. The kind you two settle into when Dick knows you need to settle down. You were a sore loser when it comes to arguments but so was he, so you tend to let the other work through it. You grimace at your lightly scuffed shoes. They weren’t expensive or flashy or even one of a kind but they were comfortable, reliable, and most importantly they were from Mr. Wintergreen- Uncle Wintergreen, he insisted. The fact that he’d taken the time at all made your stomach flip-

 Your stomach dropped. Your throat and mouth felt dry. The scent of copper permeating the air as you stared at the red puddle beneath your white shoes, a severed finger poking at you. 

 "Y/n?" 

 You must have stopped abruptly. You turn to Dick mechanically and see his face crumple into worry. Before you can rush out words of dismissal, your ears tune in to the sounds of a haunting melody. Yasiri rattles around your neck once again leaving the safety of your collar bone. Your head swivels mechanically towards the old theatre. Dick looks at you curiously, concern flashing in his eyes when another scream erupts from the theater. You both stiffen, spines straightening. Eyes blown wide, your feet take you toward the theater. 

Dick falls into step with you.”You’re not seriously going, are you? You’ve- Didn’t we just watch a horror movie?”

 “You seem to be going the same way.” You point out, side-eyeing him sharply, the sour look on your face not betraying the anxiety cloying at your spine. In the corner of your eye, you can see Dick huffing and crossing his arms over his chest. 

 “I’m Robin.” 

 “And I kicked your ass just 2 days ago and served it on a silver platter while quoting the one and only Arnold Schwarzenegger,” You grin absolutely, unequivocally unapologetic. 

 “I was protecting civilians!” He protests, throwing up his hands theatrically. 

 “Iieerrelevant~”

 Dick opens his mouth to contest your point but there really was convincing you on that. His face screws up and being the gracious loser that he is, he sticks his still neon blue tongue out at you. You, being the graceful winner that you were, stick your radioactively neon green tongue at him in answer. 

 You continue to bicker about the merits of his heroism on the battlefield 'til you reach the front of the theater. You tuck your grocery bags behind debris by the entrance making sure to keep them well hidden. Dick wants to point out that they’ll probably be gone by the time you two are done but Yasiri was staring at him like she was about to strike at him for real this time. 

  It- It wasn’t hard to get into the building. Dick held out his hand to you as you climbed over another set of debris. You take it. You thank him clumsily. He bows to you a gremlin smile spreading across his face. You sneer but give him a sharp smile in return. 

 It’s dark. The absence of light is thick. It makes the sounds of your heartbeats uncomfortably loud. You swallow. You trace your finger along your skin, the hilt of your knife falls easily into your hand. You trace your finger on your other arm and hand the knife to Dick who shakes his head.  You shrug and let it melt back into your skin. 

 “You have a tracker on you, right?”

 “No-” You eye him, cutting him a look of disbelief. “I-”

 “Relax, I have one too.” You deadpan. 

 Dick sighs. “You’re dad’s paranoid too?”

 “So is yours” You snip, hackles drawn. 

“Bruce isn’t my dad.”

 “Slade isn’t mine either.”

 “Mentors?” Dick offers placatingly.

 “Polite way of saying bossy prick, I guess.” You roll your eyes but concede. 

 “I mean I don’t know about Wintergreen but Alfred taught me some manners.” Dick shrugs, folding his arms behind his head somehow relaxed despite the thick scent of blood in the air or maybe this was how Dick was when he was nervous. 

 The truth was Wintergreen had attempted to teach you manners but he’d run into quite a few problems. The first being that you were a terrible student. Sure, you caught on quickly when you could but anything you didn’t gravitate towards didn’t hold your limited attention long enough to make an actual impact on you. Now that in of itself was fixable with the right kind of bribery. The other problem was less so. Your mentor, if you could really call him that, was a rude bastard. Long story short, you’ve never seen the point, much to Wintergreen’s chagrin and Slade’s amusement. You were, however, a master of mouthing off. 

 “Shouldn’t we call back up?”

 You flick your eyes to him, uselessly, but based on the shifting of the body beside you he somehow got the message. “Go ahead, if you wanna explain to big daddy bats why you’re hanging out with me, sure.”

 Yeah. That wasn’t an option. There was, of course, a silent understanding that bats probably knew about your little hangouts but still. 

You pad the walls with your left hand while your right was gripping Dick’s sleeve, white-knuckled. You cringe every now and again feeling the walls slick with what you weren’t eager to investigate. You strain your ear to listen for odd sounds but mostly to see if Dick, as you suspect, is echolocating. 

 “How are you doing that?”

 “Doing what?”

 “Silently echolocating?”

 Dick snickers. “I am not. You do know B isn’t an actual bat, right?”

 “Oh yeah, I forgot he was just a furry.” You sneer. Dick snorts a sound caught between amusement and offense. He clearly respected Bruce. Not the same way you respected Slade, maybe, but you understood how larger than life the Batman was even if he was the biggest pain in your ass by far. 

 “Do you really have any room to make fun of my mentor when yours has ‘Stroke’ in his name?”

 “I have plenty of room, probably. Why not  echolocate to check just how much room I have?”

 “Listen here-”

 The opera music floods the silent hall, sharp and clear. You feel the air around you catch fire and your fraying nerves. You turn your head to Dick. Despite not being able to see him, you know his mouth flattens and his brow wrinkles the way they do when you two agree to do something incomprehensibly stupid. This time you do not argue or question or even complain. You simply go forward.

A scream, messy and jagged, tangles with the smooth crispness of the opera music. It makes your stomach turn almost as much as the idea of who or, more appropriately, whatever was behind it. You were familiar with the cruelties Gotham’s monsters were capable of. You have, after all, worked for quite a few. 

 But this? 

 This pure, uncut agony in that scream? That was just something you could not stomach. You feel Dick flinch at the sound, almost jumping out of his skin. You squeeze his arm once, then twice, then twice once more. You feel his hand on your wrist, reciprocating the gesture. You smile at him reassuringly not knowing whether it would make things better or whether he can actually see it. 

 Neither of you is particularly good at dealing with people’s pain. That might not be the right word for it. Neither of you coped well. You absorbed too much of it. You were, however, much better at hiding it. Not that you could fault Dick on that. You didn’t even attempt. For Dick, humanity was a part of the job. Compassion? Kindness? That was to be expected of a hero not derided. To uphold that in the face of Gotham’s worst, that took strength. 

 Strength, in your case, was directed elsewhere. Something bone-breaking, more visceral. You suppose that was the problem with keeping company with survivors. Perpetually dancing on the brink of death robbed you of something but you haven’t exactly known any other life besides this. 

 The end of the hall is light by bright lights, sterile white, the kind you only saw in clinics. Your head runs through the catalog of Gotham’s rogues, possibilities of which utter psychopath could possibly be doing this. 

 “We should call the cops.”

 Not really really paying attention, you nod. You should probably. You grip the handle of your knife, flexing your fingers nervously, as another scream cuts through the air. Dick’s body curls, recoiling at the sound. The sound, this close, was enough to make you twitch. 

 “Can’t we just text them?”

 “What do you think this is? Canada?”

 “Ok, fair but make sure to tell them you’re Dickle Grayson.” You tease, smiling way too easily considering the creepy atmosphere. 

 Dick crosses his arms over his chest.“And summon a media storm?”

 “It would get the police here faster.”  

 “I hate it when you’re right,” Dick wishes he could wipe the absolutely smug grin off your face. “We need to back up. You know, in case, he can hear us.”

 “I mean you are the one unarmed here.” You say, waving your arms at him. 

 “No, I’m not. I have my bird-a-rangs.” Dick preens, taking them out from some pocket hidden in his jacket. 

 “Bird-a-rangs.” You echo, raising a brow. 

 “Yup. Bird-a-rangs.”

 “You are officially- no, you are legally not allowed to name things.”

 Dick makes an offended squawking noise.“Oh, come on! Still not as bad as Sharknado.”

 “Take. That. Back. Heathen.”

 “Make me.”

 Both of you still. Yasiri unfurls from your collarbone, her tail rattling. You spin on your heel. Your knife swings out in a wide crescent of light.  Thick crimson splashes across your face. At the end of your knife was a person- no, it was a person in the past tense. It makes a small cry when you wiggle the blade planted in its throat a fraction. Otherwise, it ignores the fact that it is, in fact, bleeding out from its jugular. It’s thick, clumsy limbs reach for you. Your stomach rolls. The thing in front of you, the mangled approximation of what was once a person, is lurching towards you. You think you sneer in disgust but your face is far too numb to tell. 

 “Dick! Just call the cops!” You snarl, panic rising audibly as more bodies emerge from God knows where. You kick the one to your front off to the side, shredding its neck. It takes everything in you not to vomit. In the corner of your eye, you see Dick type as he kicks another one away.   You two back into each other as the bodies close around you, cutting off all the exits. You roll up your sleeve tracing a blood-soaked finger over the lines of your tattoo and producing another knife. Dick pulls out his bird-a-rangs. 

 Dick landed blows but they weren’t hard enough to maim or be fatal. Even if he was to hit them with the sharp bird-a-rangs, he would still aim non fatally. Slade would kill you if you fought so inefficiently or maybe he would just taunt you. Either way, you didn’t care much for Dick’s squeamishness right now as the bodies kept getting back up. As far as you can tell, you’re doing them a favor. 

 The first wave of bodies rushes towards you. Their limbs jutting towards you clumsily. You swing your blade, vicious and precise. You feel metal clash against flesh, against bone. Blood coats every available surface on you.  You hear Dick squawk and you don’t really need to turn around to check that he’s also covered in it too. The spray of blood makes the air thick with the scent of copper. The blood on your skin burns. 

 “Duck!”

 “Goose!” You shout, ducking and slashing down at a row of bodies and legs. You hear his bird-a-rangs slice through the air cleanly and land on one of the creature's shoulders. You let out a huff of air thinking of all the more permanent places it could have landed. He throws a few more hitting them in the face. 

 Dick launches over you, using you as a springboard. You grunt and he winks at you like a showman. His foot predictably lands an impressive blow on one of the creature's faces. You two regroup back to back immediately after he lands. 

 Your eyes widen a fraction when a hand from out of nowhere grabs at your face catching you off guard. Your breath catches when you feel a hand at your shoulder pushing you down. A fist makes contact with the creature’s swollen face and it takes a moment for your mind to realize that it’s Dick’s hand on your shoulder and Dick’s fist making contact with the creature. 

 “Thanks,” You mumble, straightening yourself out. “I had it.”

 “You’re welcome, Pookie.” You flush as Dick winks at you. “You know I literally have your back.” He teases. You groan bending back into a fighting stance.

 “When we get out of here alive, we are working on your sense of humor.” Dick chuckles at that, making your muscles ease. “Says the person who shouted ‘Goose!’.” 

 You land every blow with every intent to make it fatal. Dick is still sticking to his nonfatal method. Normally, it was pure joy to watch Dick as he fights. The sheer control he commands over his muscles was awe-inspiring. Despite his size, he’s able to land blows just as powerful as yours. He would truly be terrifying if he were to be anything but himself. 

 These bodies. They’re too alive, too much. The next wave comes at you more fervently with more bodies. Another wave of nausea hits you when hands grasp at your arms. Your stomach tries to twist out of your abdomen. You try to wrench yourself free. You pull and twist and thrash, only succeeding in getting yourself pulled in deeper. 

 “Dick!” You cry reflexively. The coarseness in your voice lets the fear spill all over your vowels. 

 Dick’s corscian eyes widen with a flash of panic. To Dick, you and death were two separate lines running on parallel tracks next to each other, never quite crossing and never belonging to the same headspace. Completely mutually exclusive as far as he knew.  But right at this moment, right as you’re about to be swallowed whole by the crowd of misshapen bodies, he watches those lines slowly intersect. Dick doesn’t know where his heart has leaped to. 

 “Y/n!”

The world resurfaces in a surge of bright white light. Some small part of you is really hoping that Dick is, for once, right about the alien thing. Quietly you draw in a calming breath. It’s shallow not wanting your chest to rise too much to give away your consciousness. 

 The opera music is blaring in your still ringing head which isn’t helped by the wannabe opera singer belting his lungs out. Thankfully, that means he’s distracted. You move your limbs checking. Everything seems to be intact AND you seem to be tied up to someone instead of something which was either good or bad depending on who it is. 

 “Mornin’ sleepy head” Dick mumbles quietly, sounding relieved. You click your teeth in irritation. 

 “Morning, Disco Stick. Any chance you magically woke up with a plan or were you just taking a beauty nap?”

 “I don’t need one and sort of.”

 “Well shit, we’re screwed then.” 

 “You’re being dramatic.”

 “I’m sorry which of us is running around doing somersaults when they’re assaulting criminals?”

 “In my defense, flipping makes my kicks land harder.” Which was true but you were feeling snippy. “It also gives them much more time to dodge or counter.”

 “Killjoy.” You roll your eyes, smiling. You know he’s being cute and pouting. Given this is really not the time considering there is a man butchering another man a few feet away from you while singing bad opera. You really did stumble into a horror movie. “Please tell me you called Batman or the police.”

 “Both.”

 “How?”

 “Some of us are good at multitasking.” Dick chirps proudly leaning against you. You scoff judging just how tightly the ropes are bound around you. 

 “Well, you are good at being insufferable while still breathing.”

 “Isn’t that part of my charm?”

 You snicker accidentally tugging at the binds around you. You hear Dick wince likely from what is a bruised rib or, heaven help you, a broken one. “Sorry.” You whisper low and small.

  Shit. What if he had a broken rib. Shit. Shit. 

 “I’m ok, Hon.” Dick laughs making sure to lay the Delaware accent thick. It makes your chest feel warm even though everything else in you was freezing from dread. You snort. “Fine, bleed out for all I care.”

 “Awwww don’t be like that.” You sigh. You hate how weak you are to his puppy dog eyes. You can’t even see it. You decide to change the subject instead. “So what are the odds that we’re escaping if we break out of their bonds now?”

 “Not high.”

 “Even if I get Yasiri to gently inject him with poison?”

 “Please tell me you didn’t bring poison to our hangout.”

 “I mean. Do twinkies count?”

 “No.”

 “Ok, fine. So we’re stalling then.”

 “Pretty much.”

 “I hate this.”

 “You were the one who started heading in.”

 “Why didn’t you stop me then?”

 The man at the surgical table turns to you with a whimsical flourish as the body on the table goes limp. No, not limp. Docile. You have just witnessed a person become a body, you think numbly. The way the fight so easily left its limbs made you shudder, feeling the fight in your own limbs fleeting out. This isn’t how you want to die, not by the hand of a madman. At least, not until you’ve put your own demons to rest. 

 “Look who’s awake,” He drawls, his voice slimy and all the vowels coming out at the wrong pitches. Dick shifts the two of you so that he’s angled slightly in front of you. He squares his shoulder trying to make his lean form look far bigger than it actually is. You smile at his attempt to be protective because deep down you both know you’re the more intimidating one and you’re the one who can take more punishment. Your power and training have those pleasant side effects. 

 You see him draw closer making you snarl. “Come any closer and I swear I will rip your throat out.” You are surprised at how even the threat came out but the distilled ferocity you had put into it didn’t quite show, likely blunted by the fear pooling in your stomach.  

 “Don’t worry I’ll make you perfect too. I promise.” He reaches past Dick, grabbing you by the back of your neck. The grip on you is bruising and callous. He forces you to bow your head and look down at the bloodstains on your clothes. The browning blots of red stain your white Wonder Woman shirt. You swallow.  You felt like a lamb being dragged to slaughter. Dick, likely without thinking, bites down on the man’s wrist.

 The man pulls away with a cry, cradling his bleeding wrist. “Are you ok?” Dick asks, spitting blood out, eyes shiny with concern. You gulp down air before nodding. Dick presses closer to you reassuring you. Shaken, you press back, careful not to press hard enough to hurt him. 

 Your floundering mind comes to one conclusion. You can’t let him touch Dick. You use your strength to shift your positions so that Dick is completely behind you.  Dick tries to move you back but you plant your heels preventing him from even inching. 

 The man grabs you by the collar of your shirt, pulling you off the ground. You hear Dick’s breath hitch. His heart rate kicks up and so does yours. Fury burning in the man’s eyes. “WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?” He screams, shaking you. “NO. NO. NO. MY- I’M- NO! PERFECT. I NEED- I NEED TO BE PERFECT.” Somehow the spit flying in your face grosses you out more than the blood probably drying on your face. It’s only winning by a small margin though. 

 Bile is rising in your throat. Still, you grin, sneering and taunting. “Trust me you didn’t need help in the department,” You jeer. Dick squirms behind you. Urging you to stop. You don’t. “You think those pisspoor excuses for creatures you sicced on us were perfect. HA!” You can feel Dick shaking his head behind you.  You nudge him assuring him you’ve got a plan. You did. Sort of. It’s more of a goal really. Take his attention off of Dick. 

 “[Y/n, please no. Don’t do this. I know what you’re doing. But I can take it. Moon, please.]” Dick pleads, voice hoarse and desperate. ‘Shion’. Moon. The endearment glances of your ribs like a well placed kick to the chest. You don’t let your eyes flick to him. “[Which us is meta here?]” You whisper back in broken Romani. You cringe a little knowing just how badly you butchered the sentence.  Dick makes an affronted noise.  “Cham.” You whisper quietly, trying to shape your vowels and consonants correctly. Dick’s breath catches. Sun. Sure, the endearment seemed inadequate, too succinct, when compared to how much you care for him but as of right now it will have to do. 

 The man shakes you again dragging your attention away from Dick. Your smarmy grin cuts across your face as if you’re not pissing yourself from fear. A large hand grabs your face. Your entire body braces itself for your neck to be twisted but it does not come. He tilts your head back side to side. “You’re going to need a lot of work.”

 Your heart stops. Dick thrashes behind you. You want to elbow him. You want to scream at him to stop fucking moving but you’re entire body is numb. Your eyes flick to the man, no, the body on the table. It is breathing and writhing in agony. Your breaths pick up. You- you don’t- you can’t-

 You hear a crash and the fall of debris on a dozen bodies. 

 “B!” Dick shouts distantly. The grip on your collar disappears. A black clad fist hangs in front of you. Your eyes trace up the arm in front of you only to be met with the scowling face of the Batman. You swallow nervously while Dick lets out another enthusiastic ‘B’. Batman makes quick work of your ropes, all the while glaring at you for what you don’t know. Maybe somehow he knows this whole situation was your fault. 

 Once released, the first order of business, at least for Dick, is to throw his arms around Batman’s shoulders. Awkwardly, he reciprocates your friend’s affection. The hold he has on Dick cannot be mistaken as anything but protective. You find humor in the fact at how obvious their familial connection is yet they deny it. A teasing remark rises up your throat but is abruptly shoved back down by Batman’s unrelenting glare. Was he born glaring? 

 “What are you doing here?” Less of a question and more of a growled accusation. 

 “Careful, his rib might be broken.” You stumble out dumbly.  Dick glares at you but compared to Batman’s it looks more like a pout which is, again, hilarious. Batman loosens his grip on Dick and apparently, this is now the time Dick chooses to realize that his mentor (read: dad) is trying to turn you into ash with a scowl.     

 Dick peels away from him stepping in front of you. He widens his stance to shield you from the larger man. Dick feels an odd surge of protectiveness and he’s not about to let B attack you, especially not after what just happened. 

 They stare each other down. They seem to be having a silent argument. You want to cut in but you’re afraid you might actually turn into ash with the intensity of Batman’s gaze. 

 The loud blaring of sirens mingle with the still playing opera music in the background as a tidal wave of police officers and paramedics rush in.  

  -----

You pestered the medic to let you stay with Dick. 

 “So, what do you plan on doing?” Dick asks, leaning against you pointedly ignoring the paramedic's instruction to be careful. You let him lean into you. You know he needs all the comfort he can get.  You rest your head against his hair, placing a kiss on his scalp. Dick doesn’t comment afraid that you might withdraw if he teases you too much. 

 “Maybe grow out my hair,” You joke, pinching a lock of hair between your fingers. “Might as well considering how grounded I’ll be. Well, if uncle Wintergreen has anything to say about it.”

 Dick extricates himself from your shoulder and turns to you with a pensive look. Tilting his head, he looks at you appraisingly, wrinkling his brow. You can’t blame him. He’s never seen you with long hair mainly because you’ve never let it get too long. Too much of a hassle, too much of a health hazard. 

 Dick places his jacket over your head, draping it over you like a wedding veil. You chuckle at him, barely able to keep the smile off of your face. 

 “How do I look?” You joke twining your fingers around the cloth. You think you see Dick blush but it was probably just the cold. Dick coughs poorly disguising his laughter. He covers his mouth, depriving you of his dimples. “ Like you’re going to get married in a jean pants suit. I have dibs on walking you down the aisle.” 

 You tilt your head. Your smile tilts along with it.  “Nah uncle Wintergreen has dibs on that.”

 Dick huffs, his shoulders sag in disappointment. It’s the closest he was gonna get to being your groom, he thinks. 

 I want you waiting for me at the end of the aisle. The thought makes your heart twist. You swallow it along with the huge lump in your throat.  “You can be my last dance though.”

 You concede. Dick brightens a little at this but not by much. 

 “You sure Deathstroke wouldn’t mind?” 

 “This implies he’ll show up. He’s a busy man.” Dick laughs at that. Genuine and very Dick. This time you don’t fight the smile off of your face.  

 You smile at each other and laugh. A million unspoken sentences hang between the two of you. 

 This love of yours is reckless.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: Thanks for reading. Also yes I did have to include good dad Bruce and bastard mentor Slade. I only have one braincell and it is dumber than shit. 

tag list:  @batarella , @anothertimdrakestan , @lucy-roo , @multifandomgirl-us , @idkmanicantenglish ,@birdy-bat-writes ,  @boosyboo9206 , @americasmarauders , @l-inkage @arestorationofbalance , @cloudie-skay , @wunderstell @hyp-oh-critical, @ereawrites​

[melancholymaz]

Enceinte (3)

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader 

Summary: Now at 16 weeks in your pregnancy, The avengers have been taking the Uncle and Aunty role with pride, With your nursery being built and painted. But it’s game night and what better way to do that than have the avengers have a sleepover? 

Warnings: Sad!Nat turns into Soft!Nat and couldn’t help but end it in domestic!Avengers. Swearing and Bucky and Steve cheating at Uno. Also talks of parents disowning their child.

Y/S/P = Your sexual preference 

A/N: Here’s part 3! I am so deeply sorry it’s taken this long! Enjoy!

Deciding to live in the compound while pregnant has been both a blessing and a curse. Unfortunately with your parents having disowned you when you came out as Y/S/P, you didn’t have very many people to tell, besides a few friends and cousins, To which they were ecstatic. 

The positives are that Nat doesn’t miss a thing as her and the team have decided to only go on missions unless necessary. So now they can be there for milestones or help if you ever need it. Even Carol has decided to stay until her niece or nephew is born. You and Natasha have both been reading pregnancy and baby books and even Tony had the two of you sleep in a spare room temporarily as him and the team combine your room with the vacant one next door for the baby’s nursery which is now ready to decorate. In about 3 weeks you’ll be having your gender reveal, as you and Nat had agreed you were far too excited to wait to see if your baby was a boy or a girl. Despite it being your first pregnancy, Your 16 week baby bump was very much noticeable, and now  you didn’t look like you ate too much the night before, like you did when your bump was first starting to grow.

You’ve been keeping as active as you could, doing mild workouts during the day to keep as fit as you can. You’ve noticed your skin has become a bit more clearer, as the ‘pregnancy glow’ makes it’s mark.  Sometimes you’ll have random blood noses, which is normal as Dr Cho had to convince Nat a hundred times, but it didn’t make them any less annoying. Warm baths and back massages had become your best friend as your bump starts to grow, If your back pain is bad now you dread the pain that is to come. You’ll even become dizzy at random points during the day, and it’s handy having the avengers around to easily catch you if you start to sway. 

You’ve started wearing maternity clothes, to which Nat loves. Your choice in bras have become different thanks to your ever growing breasts, and she loves finding new ways to take them off as fast as she can. The only thing she loves to pout about is the fact you’ve started sleeping on your left side, as now it’s rare she gets to see your face as you both lay in bed together. That doesn’t stop her from rubbing and talking to the baby every night though. 

Finishing up in the gym for the day, you wipe your forehead to rid the sweat and take a swig from your drink bottle, taking a breather before you say goodbye to Steve and Bucky who are both training together. Making your way to Your’s and Nat’s bedroom, you pass Wanda and Carol in the hallway, who asks you how you were feeling and if you needed anything, much to your gratitude.

As you enter your room you immediately notice somethings wrong. You hear a sniffle before a soft cry, and you notice it’s coming from the nursery. A frown settles on your face as you walk in and you can’t help the feeling of your heartbreaking a little. There Nat sit’s in the middle of the empty room crying, staring up at the half finished Winnie the pooh themed wall mural Steve has started, making sure to leave a spot blank to paint the baby’s name when you and Nat have decided on one. 

“Babe? What’s the matter?” You ask, slowly coming up behind her, placing your hands on her shoulders, softly peering at her face. Her puffy eyes look up at you and she gives you a small sad smile. “I thought I was the one that was supposed to be emotional.” 

“I’m sorry, I just came in here to see the mural but then I couldn’t help but think how surreal all of this is. I mean I never would have thought 2 years ago that you’d be my girlfriend much less pregnant with our first child. I mean all my life I thought I’d never have kids much less a partner. I used to have nothing, and now I’ve got this job... and this, family that couldn’t love us any more.” 

“It does seem a bit crazy doesn’t it.” You say softly, lightly massaging her shoulders as she lets a few more tears fall. You know the best thing right now is to just comfort her and let her have her moment. 

“I am so incredibly lucky to have the team, and you, and especially our baby. Everything I’ve ever wanted right here and I don’t know how or why I deserve it.” 

“To be quite honest with you my love I think we’re the lucky ones. To have someone so loving and forgiving like you is definitely rare. Beans going to have the most protective and playful mama, and I think I can speak for the team when I say there’s no one that could ever replace you. You deserve all of this, The team, the family and most importantly me and our baby.” You tell her honestly, placing her hand on your bump. 

“You think so?” She asks with so much uncertainness. 

“I know so.” You smile, to which she returns. 

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Nat replies, the soft smile on her face as she looks up at you. 

“Yeah, multiple times.” You smile. “Now come on, we’re gonna go have a shower and go see the team, It’s game night.” 

“Yes Ma’am.” 

-

“This game is bullshit!” Sam screams, slamming his uno cards on the table before standing up and kicking his chair. “He’s cheating!! There is no way he can win game 5 times in a row!! He just picked up 4 cards!” 

“Stop being a sore loser.” A smug Bucky says, taking joy in his friends rage. 

“Stand up and clean out your pockets.” You demand, also annoyed at your friend. Bucky does as you say with a smug smile on his face, pulling his pockets from his shorts and jumper, proving he didn’t cheat. When he sit’s down however, you catch something in the corner of your eye and you shake your head with scoff when Steve subtly high fives Bucky under the table. Nat must have seen it to, because she too shakes her head and speaks up. 

“Steven, my lovely captain.” Natasha says albeit too sweetly. 

“Yes Nat?” He replies, probably too quickly to come off as nonchalant.

“Would you like to stand up and empty your pockets too?” I finish instead, smiling at the blonde who looks at Bucky then stands and does the same, which ends in him pulling out roughly 10 cards from his sweatpants pocket. 

“Are those Bucky’s Cards?” Wanda asks, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. 

“...no?” Steve replies. “They’re mine?” 

“Steve is that or is it not Bucky’s cards?” Carol asks this time, her face stern, which you know is making Steve slightly panic. You see Bucky staring at Steve, almost daring him to lag on him. 

“Okay fine. Buck and I made a deal that I would help him win because he always loses and he’s sick of Sam and Y/N always winning.” Steve confesses ashamedly, Bucky’s eyes widening in betrayal. 

“I KNEW IT!!” Sam yells. Nat just stares dumbfounded, meanwhile Tony, Rhodey and Bruce just watch things unfold shaking their head in disappointment, Wanda and Carol stand up and start packing up the Uno cards as they both know no one will want to play after this. You, however, stare at Bucky with betrayal and hurt. 

“You always say you want me to win! This is discrimination against pregnant women.” You joke, to which Nat laughs behind you. 

“I think he wanted you to win so the baby will be named after him.” Rhodey inputs. 

“Definitely won’t be now.” You say to which Bucky frowns. “Sorry pal lost your chance.” 

“What-” 

“Yeah because we all know the baby’s gonna be named after me.” Tony interrupts Bucky, pouring himself a drink at the bar. 

“Jokes on all of you, we’re not naming the baby after any of you.” Nat replies, smiling matter-of-factly after nearly everyone looks at her offended.  “You all suck.” 

“Besides me.” Carol says, sticking her hand up. 

“No definitely you.” Is Rhodey’s reply, causing Carol to throw the uno cards at him. Everyone begins to move into the common room, deciding to chill before someone picks a movie. 

“Speaking of the baby, what’s the update?” Steve walks in, handing Wanda the chip bowl, who thanks him quietly. 

“Well, Bean should be starting to hear sounds now hopefully, muscles are getting stronger and should be having coordinated arm and leg movement.” You explain, the team listening attentively. 

“And Bean is now the size of an apple!” Natasha quickly adds. 

“Seriously can’t wait to be an uncle.” Tony says, scratching his greying goatee. “How are you wanting to do the gender reveal?” 

“Well so far it’s just gonna be all of us, Pete, Clint and his family, Fury, Sharon and Maria. Thor too if he’s back in time from Asgard. We’ll get Dr. Cho to put the respective colour in a big balloon and we’ll have like mini games and just have a fun time with all of us.” Nat explains. The team nods, and you can see Tony’s gears in his head rolling, probably just promoted himself the event planner. 

“There is to be no one invited without our permission.” You direct to Tony, who just nods. 

Just an hour later you and the team have all set up mattresses and blankets all over the common room, deciding to have a sleepover all together. Bruce and Rhodey as an exception as they believe they’re “too old” to have sleepovers. You and Nat set up on the end of all the mattresses, in case need to go toilet during the night. You’re surprised everyone agreed to do it, considering they’re the earths mightiest heroes. 

-

As the end credits of the fourth movie rolls around, you look around to see everyone but you and Nat have fallen asleep. You move back down and start to wiggle around to find a comfortable spot, but end up failing miserably. 

“You okay babe?” Nat asks, lightly rubbing your back after you groan for the third time. 

“Just can’t seem to get comfortable.” You mumble back, trying to fall asleep. 

“Would you like me to go get your new pregnancy pillow?” She asks laying her head on your shoulder, to which you nod softly. Nat gives you a kiss on the cheek before she stands and steps over you to go get your pillow from your shared room. When she comes back a few minutes later, she helps you position yourself and when you finally find a comfortable spot, you can’t help but sigh in relief. 

“Thank you my love.” You mumble, already drifting off. 

“Go to sleep Malysh, I’ll try to not keep you awake while I say goodnight to Bean.” Nat whispers, already moving down to talk to your bump. You hum in goodnight before you drift off into a deep slumber. 

Malysh = Baby

[wtnrscap]

Cursed Words- Daybreak

Pairings- Bucky Barnes x Reader, Natasha Romanoff x Bruce Banner, mentions of past Natasha Romanoff x Clint Barton.

Summary- The fourth time it happens, you find out what you’ve been doing by accident, but don’t know how to help. Bucky refuses to talk about his feelings until you give him a proposition, something to work for. And for the first time, it feels to Bucky as though things are finally going the right way.

Warnings- (18+) Mentions of blood, death, injury detail, PTSD, panic and anxiety attacks. Fluff. Swearing. Dirty talk, dirty fantasies. Eventual smut.

A/N- This is gonna be a leading onto a longer chapter with more triggering subjects. I like to think the plot is gonna start moving forward now because I think it’s been a bit slow. Taglist is open.

Cursed Words Masterlist

The clock on the wall taunts Bucky. Moving so slowly he thinks it might start going backwards. He keeps his eyes trained on it, counting the seconds down till she lets him go. It was only an hour but it could of been 100 years for all he knew.

She shifts in her seat, her eyes on him, her face calm, waiting for a moment that would never come. She wanted him to talk, admit his feelings, but Bucky had been brought up in the 30s, where men didn’t do that. Being the eldest of four meant he often didn’t have time to worry about his own feelings and when he started looking out Steve, selfcare went out the window. It was strange to him, to be sitting in this prison of white walls, with someone asking him how he felt.

The timer on the coffee table rings out, high-pitched and she sighs, crossing her arms, “You can go now, James.”

He hated that she called him that. He hates the way she talks to him. He hates her. He knows nothing about her, not even bothering to learn her name but he knows he hates her.

“Do I have come tomorrow?” he asks, already knowing her answer. An unnecessary glance at her schedule and a nod of the head, “Yes, James.”

“I don’t see why-”

“Captain Rogers wants you to talk about and explore your past. You haven’t done that. You have come here everyday for 3 weeks and we have sat in silence. You need to work with me here.”

Bucky’s face twists and he turns, leaving the room with a stomp. He hates Steve. He hates everyone who tells him to talk and let it all out. But he can’t hate you. The reason for his being there. He’s tried to hate you, but he just can’t do it. It’s impossible to hate you.

-

Allison opens the door before you’ve even had the chance to knock. Her face says it all and you sit down with a grumble, “Doesn’t he realise that the longer he keeps up this silence, the longer he’ll be off missions? He’s an arsehole.”

“He knows,” responds Allison, “He’s just been through a lot and it’s hard for him to open up.”

You cock an eyebrow, “You don’t need to talk all therapist to me. He’s being arsehole because he knows he can.”

Allison tucks Bucky’s file under her arm and sits next to you, “Actually... I think he’s needs some... motivation...”

“Motivation?”

“Look,” Allison sighs, “As a therapist I can’t bribe people to open up to me and I’m not supposed encourage other people to bribe customers to open up to me but I think Bucky needs some help. You like him, right?”

“Yeah...”

“So give him a proposition. Tell him if he makes an effort in our sessions, tries to talk to me and tries to get better, then you will let him take you on a date.”

Your eyes widen, “Allison! I don’t even know if he likes me like that!”

“I mentioned you once and his eyes lit up like fireworks. The boy likes you. There’s just something holding him back. That’s what I’m here for. But he needs a push. Someone or something to force his hand. I think this could really work,” Allison stands and looks down at you, “At least think about it.”

-

A relaxed atmosphere had settled in the games room of the compound. A rare day where everyone was home, a day where the Avengers wanted to be surrounded by each other. Sam, Steve, Tony and Rhodey were fighting over snooker while Vision, Bruce and Thor caught up over stories of Asgard. Nat was creating crazy drinks from behind the bar, overlooked by Bucky, and you were sat with Wanda and Pepper, playing a a surprisingly calm game of Uno. You liked to revel in these moments, when everyone was together and happy. A shout from across the room jolts you, “You cheated, Capsicle!”

“I did not! The ball fell in by itself. You’re just a sore loser!”

Tony rolled his eyes, “Whatever, I’m done with this... this... GAME OF LIES! Let’s play truth or dare!”

The whole room groaned, but it took only minutes for everyone to gather on the leather chairs, an empty beer bottle on the table. Tony span it and every eye watched as it landed on Sam. Poor Sam, he looked like a deer caught in headlights. Tony grinned wickedly, “Truth or dare, Birdbrain?”

“Dare...?”

“I dare you to kiss the person you find most attractive, and if isn’t Cap, then I’m gonna be very disappointed.”

Sam scanned the room, his eyes bristling over Nat, Wanda, Pepper and eventually landing on you. You groan as he stands and makes his way over, “Please don’t... Sam, please...”

His lips connect with yours in a surprisingly good and respectful kiss as the room cheers. Sam pulls back with a flush, “It was you or Pepper and I really don’t feel like dying today.”

“You mean me and Wanda weren’t even considered?” snaps Nat with glare and Sam flushes even more as he spins the bottle. After a few turns it lands on Steve who quickly spits out, “Dare.”

“Take your jacket and shirt off. Give the people what they want.”

To anyone else, that wouldn’t have been so bad, but to Steve, it was a nightmare. Stripping off was reserved for the bedroom and the swimming pool, not for late night entertainment. But he took it like a man and soon you were shamelessly eyeing his body. He spotted it quickly, “Stop drooling, Y/N!”

“Am I not allowed to appreciate a good-looking man?”

Steve rolled his eyes and span the bottle, looking fairly relieved when it landed on Bucky, “True or dare, pal?”

Bucky shrugged, “Dare.”

“I dare you to tell us your biggest fear.”

A chrous of moans circulated around the room at how rubbish the dare was but Bucky had gone pale, prompting everyone to think that it might not be so bad. Steve interrupted quickly, “You don’t have to tell us if-”

“It’s fine. My biggest fear is that Y/N will keep saying my trigger words. She keeps saying them without knowing and they keep activating Winter. It’s why I run from her. It’s easier than to admit that I’m scared of turning into the Winter Soldier permanently. The words only effect me when she says them. My therapist would probably tell me that that means something deeper.”

The room had gone silent. Everyone was either staring at you or Bucky. Without thinking, you dived across the room to Bucky, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know! I thought you were running from because you hated me!”

“I could never hate you! The therapy is supposed to be helping me move forward but I just don’t wanna talk to her. I feel like I’m taking one step forward and two steps backward.”

The therapy... THE THERAPY!

You grab the bottle and pass it to Nat, “Spin the bottle and make sure it lands on me. When it does, ‘i’m gonna say truth. Ask me about the proposition.”

Nat raises her eyebrows but does as she’s told, angling the bottle so it lands on you, “Truth or dare, my dear friend.”

“Truth.”

“Tell us all about this very interesting proposition.”

You face the group, one hand on Bucky’s leg, the other rubbing your bottom lip anxiously, “If Bucky makes an effort in therapy, if he talks to Allison and tries to get better and if Steve gets the word that he is moving forward...” you turn to Bucky with a small smile on your painted lips, “I’ll let let you take me on a date. A date where you’re in control. You pick the time, the place, what we do, it’s all up to you. But you have to make an effort. You have to want to get better. And I really hope you do, because... I would love a daybreak date.”

Bucky flinches violently, almost tipping you off the chair. Quickly, he grabs you with a flush, fighting himself as the face looms through the darkness. But it’s like a tunnel now. One end is darkness, and the Winter Soldier with all the deaath and despair while the other is light and you, your hand outstretched, offering him a chance at redemption. He’s never seen a light before, and the hope spilling out almost kills him. He has a chance.

“Bucky?” your sweet voice drags him out of his thoughts and he locks eyes with you, “Bucky, are you okay? Did I say a word?”

Bucky nods his head and you sigh deeply, “I’m so sorry. But does that sound like a deal?”

“Doll...” Bucky whispers weakly, and the pet name makes you shiver, “I don’t know if I can-”

“But I know you can. I trust you. And I’ll wait. I understand that this isn’t going to go away in a few weeks. Just... agree to it... Please...”

A huff from across the table makes you look up to see Tony rolling his eyes, “Hey, Farquaad, a beautiful girl offers you a chance to get a date with her you don’t refuse, you agree!”

Bucky’s eyes are wet and he wraps his arms around your neck, hiding his face in your hair, “I agree. I wanna get better for you. If you believe I can, then I will really try.”

The room erupts into cheers, Steve patting his friend on the back with a smile while Nat screams, “Finally! I thought you two would never get past the awkward sexual tension phase!”

You smile widely as a laugh from Bucky vibrates through your body. Allison was right. Bucky needed a gentle push, and this was it. You know the problem isn’t solved, but it’s a start.

Bucky pushes the bleak out of his mind. The horrible images of blood, death, and trauma begin to fade. They’re not gone and they won’t be gone for a long time, but they’re going and he has a chance to get rid of them forever. He knows he has to grasp this with both hands. And with you by his side, he knows he can do it. He knows he could always do it.

[awhitehead17]

ohoho my goodness okay so for the prompt thing I think it’s be cool if you wrote something about the batfam being absolute trash at board games because detective skills get you no where in candy land. Maybe they’re just playing among themselves and those who haven’t been in the vigilante business as long as the others are better at it or maybe they’re playing with the jla, that’s up to you! No pressure tho, I’d just like to see where you’d go with this. I hope you’re well!

Thanks for the prompt, it was certainly an interesting one to try and come up with scenarios for and I apologise that it’s taken so long to answer this!! 

So this basically ended up being the batfam playing different board games and roasting each other, hope that’s okay because it may not be what you had in mind. 

Hopefully you’ll enjoy it nonetheless! :D 

“Well this is just unrealistic.” Tim comments scowling at the board on the floor in front of him.

Next to him Steph lets out a long groan and cradles her face in her hands in frustration. “It’s a board game Tim! It’s not supposed to be realistic.”

“You’re just mad because you guessed wrong and are now out of the game.” Harper laughs at him from her position opposite him. “Tim Drake, a sore loser, who knew?”

“I’m not a sore loser!” Tim almost yells back feeling himself get worked up in both anger and embarrassment. “This game is stupid.”

“Because you lost.”

“Because it’s unrealistic.”

“I would have thought this game was right up your street dude, but obviously not.” Duke says from Tim’s right, looking a bit despondent at this revelation. Tim sends him a glare, not appreciating his input in the conversation.

Duke isn’t fazed by it, he ignores the look and gestures at the board in front of them. “Cluedo is a detective game and you’re a detective, how did you get it wrong?”

To stop himself from lashing out at Duke, Tim forces himself to take a deep breath. He is getting ridiculously wound up over this stupid game and the others with their goading isn’t helping matters.

“You know why,” Steph remarks with a smirk, “because that giant ass brain of his over thought it all and since he over analysed it, he got it wrong.”

There’s moment of silence in the room after Steph stops talking. Tim huffs at her statement but finds that he really can’t argue against it because that’s probably exactly what happened.

Steph leans back onto her elbows so she’s sprawled out over the floor, “it’s just a game, there’s no need to get so defensive over it. It’s supposed to be a bit of fun with a little mystery involved.”

That elicits a snort from Harper. She gives the blonde a disbelieving side look. “Have you seen yourself when playing Mario Kart? I’ll be sure to use those exact words next time you’re putting a sailor to shame for the language you come out with when a blue shell hits you.”

Steph rolls her eyes. “I’m not that bad.”

“You totally rival Jason when it comes to mouthing off at Mario Kart Steph. Don’t deny it.” Tim says, contributing to the conversation. He’s pleased that the topic has moved away from him and onto Steph.

Steph opens her mouth to respond but Duke beats her to it. He waves his note pad around wildly. “As fun as it is to roast one another, there’s a game here still to be played.”

Grumbling underneath her breath Steph sits back up and the four of them continue with the game at hand, or at least the three others do. Tim had guessed wrong and now has to sit by to watch, but on the bright side he gets to judge all of their movements now knowing the truth.

-----------

The grimace that crosses his face is entirely instinctual as soon as he sees what box is placed down on the table. With a quick glance around he sees three other’s mirroring his look. Dick opens his mouth to make the comment of why the chosen game may not be wise but instead he shuts his mouth and keeps quiet. He figures they need to learn somehow, being told what to expect is different to actually experiencing it.

It’s currently a rare Sunday afternoon when a majority of the family is over at the Manor at the same time. It’s probably because of the weather that everyone has unintentionally gathered together in the media room, with it heavily raining no one really wants to go adventuring outside.

Dick finds himself surrounded by his younger siblings, some of the extended family they’ve adopted over time and Bruce himself. All of them now sitting around the table after deciding to play a board game together.

That probably should have been the first warning sign. Dick really ought to know better but he had been distracted by the feeling of having all of his family around for once when no one has been injured or the reason why they’re together being a life-threatening crisis.

The decision of what board game to play takes almost twenty minutes to decide. Even then they hadn’t actually decided what to play, it got decided that everyone would place a game of their choice into a hat and it would get chosen at random.

That’s when the worst one of the bunch got chosen. Dick could see the same look he was wearing appearing on his brother’s faces.

Monopoly. That’s the game that’s been decided.

“Is it safe to assume that today is the end of the batfamily?” Steph comments with a laugh.

Almost everyone around the table gives her an odd look and only a couple chuckle along with her. From past experiences when playing this game, Dick knows it’s not the falling out part that’s the issue, the main issue is that Bruce absolutely dominates the game every time. It’s no fun playing with his adoptive father, this is something he’s learnt the hard way. His brothers also had learnt this the hard way, that being the explanation behind the grimaces they all share.

“I would rather play literally anything else.” Tim states boldly looking around, though his eyes often flicker to Bruce.

The two seats to his right are occupied by a confused looking Duke and Cass. “Why? Monopoly’s not so bad, sure it’s long and can get tedious. We’ve played this game before.”

Tim sends him a pointed look but it’s Jason who speaks up from the opposite side of the table. “Yeah sure, but that’s because you haven’t played with Bruce before. You’ll come to despise this game by the end of today.”

“Father gets rather self-assertive when playing this particular game. While I admire his skills and efficiency of winning this so-called game, father tends to take the apparent competition away any time he plays.” Damian claims from his position on Jason’s left.

The youngest Wayne is now scowling at the box on the table with obvious resentment from past experiences.

If Duke looked confused before, now he seems utterly baffled.

“Oh I’m not that bad.” Bruce declares sounded offended. Dick knows him better however, he’s completely faking it. He knows exactly what he’s like with this game.

“Bruce will literally bankrupt everyone within like five rounds of this game.” Tim says glancing around.

Silence falls over them after that and it feels like everyone is deciding whether they should in fact play or not. Of course the earlier members of the family know exactly what’s in store for them if they do play but the newer members don’t.

In the end Steph stands up and grabs the box, clearly stating she doesn’t care and can they just get on with it because staring at one another isn’t getting them anywhere. As the board gets set up Dick shares a knowing, helpless look with his brothers. Well they have to learn at some point.

Three hours later, half of those around the table have their heads in their heads and were wearing disbelieving looks on their faces. It’s as funny as it is depressing.

“This is ridiculous,” Steph mutters glaring at the table, “this is so unfair.”

“Well, I’ll do the honours by saying; we told you so.” Tim gloats with a smirk at the blonde. Steph decidedly glares at Tim instead of the table.

Jason bark of laughter causes Dick to crack at grin at the various of reactions the family is having to Bruce’s domination of the game. The man is stacked with money, having nearly owned every property on the board and has practically bankrupted three quarters of them by now.

“This is why you don’t play Monopoly with Bruce. Hope you all learned your lesson now!” Dick laughs.

There’s a low groan from Duke who soon mumbles out, “Yeah just a bit….”

-----------

“Whoever decided this game can go to hell…” Tim mutters underneath his breath scowling at the paper in front of him.

Next to him Jason snorts. “You only say that because you know who chose this game.”

“My point still stands.”

“Enough.” Dick dejects in an attempt to stop an argument from happening. “Knock it off, we’ve all had our turns to choose and now it’s his turn.”

“But he can’t even play it right!” Tim whines, it’s like he’s a child throwing a tantrum.

“Y’know, no one is making you play.” Duke points out from his spot on the floor, his focus is on the paper in his hands as he continues to draw whatever he needs to.

Tim huffs and kicks his leg out, successfully knocking Duke off balance. Duke doesn’t rise to the bait, he simply grabs Tim’s ankle and shoves it away. “Real mature Tim.”

“Tim likes to complain when things aren’t going his way, he’s immature like that.” Steph comments with a laugh. Next to her Cass is smiling away as she nods her in agreement.

A group of them has gathered into the living room of Dick’s apartment on a slow evening and all have sprawled out across the place. Jason, Dick and Tim are sharing a sofa with Duke perched on a cushion by their feet on the floor. Steph and Cass were sprawled out on the second couch and Damian is adjacent to them all sitting in the love seat.

It’s been a recent between them all, having game nights and taking in turns to choose what is to be played. This time happens to be Damian’s turn and the youngest has chosen to play Pictionary.

It’s a good game, one that is generally enjoyed by the majority of the family, however, what Tim had been referring to, is that when playing with Damian, he tends to lose the point of the game. He takes every drawing too seriously and spends an unreasonable amount of time on each word.

Because it’s Damian, every drawing has to be perfect before he shows them or even hints at what he’s drawing. They’ve tried to explain to him multiple times that the drawings don’t have to be perfect, as long as they are recognisable then that’s all that matters, but the kid refuses to listen.

It can make playing with him very frustrating.

Him, Jason and Tim are used to it, but it seems like Duke and the girls are all taking it in stride. They only get through a couple rounds within like an hour thanks to Damian and it’s getting to the point where Dick is beginning to think that Damian is actually doing it on purpose because he can see how much it’s riling up Tim.

Brotherly love right there.

They’re just finishing off the third round and sharing their terribly drawn pictures with one another. Duke holds his piece of paper up with a sheepish smile, “I tried okay. It wasn’t easy.”

“What is that?” Damian demands as he squints at the mess of blue squiggles on the page.

“It’s supposed to be a sunrise, my word was morning but no one got it.”

“Tt, that’s not a surprise Thomas as that looks nothing like a morning, or a sunrise for that matter.”

“Well, jeeze, thanks Damian. I only had 60 seconds to come up with something and draw it.”

When Damian tuts in obvious displeasure, Dick simply rubs a hand over his face. That kid… he loves him, he does but sometimes he certainly makes it difficult to do so. While Duke is still new to the family, he’s been around long enough to get a feel for what Damian can be like. He simply rolls his eyes and turns the paper away.

“Cass what is that supposed to be?”

Jason’s question to Cass gets his attention, he looks in their direction to find Jason frowning at the piece of paper Cass is showing him. His sister shrugs not looking at all embarrassed with her attempts to draw whatever it’s supposed to be. Dick couldn’t work it out either. As far as he could tell it’s a solid colour of black on the page.

“An eclipse.”

Her answer makes Jason even more confused. “So you decided to colour the whole page black?”

“It creates a shadow…”

“Right.”

In the end Jason shakes his head and leans against the back of the sofa. His expression makes it clear that he’s simply done with everything tonight. Dick snorts at his behaviour before he feels a nudge on his left side.

Tim is looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t you just love game nights Dick? They’re great right?”

His voice is dripping with sarcasm and Dick restrains himself from commenting on it. He does love game nights with his siblings but they sure as hell make it a challenge sometimes. All of them do. Not one of them is innocent.

But as he looks around at the scene he knows he wouldn’t change it. While not all of them are currently present, game nights are an opportunity to hang out outside of the masks, any public personas they play and any emergencies that may be happening.

Dick leans back against the sofa and mumbles underneath his breath as he watches Duke and Damian bicker about the art of drawing under pressure and about how to play the game correctly. “I actually do, yeah.”

[crushedbyhyperbole]

A Tale of Fingers, Holes & Balls

Thanks @eurynome827​ , you know I love a good balls prompt ;)  Here’s Bucky with some date-stealin’ antics.  Hope you enjoy <3

++++++++  separates flashback from present

Words: ~ 1200

Warnings:  Bit of sass, reader ditches her date, little bit in there about some insecurities/trauma but it’s very mild and in passing.

It’s dim and cozy in the bar where you sit with your sister and her husband on this kind of double date thing you’ve got happening.  You never imagined, not in your wildest dreams, that you’d be introducing Bucky Barnes, Avenger and one time Fist of Hydra, as your boyfriend. I mean, he’s what? seventy years older than you?  Yeah definitely don’t think about that.

Bucky squeezes your thigh reassuringly as if he senses your unease.  Maybe it’s that you’re thinking about his past, he hopes not, or maybe it’s the question that just came out of your sister’s mouth.

“So, how did you guys meet?” Her eyes are glittering with the effects of wine and intrigue.  “Was it some daring rescue of a damsel in distress?”

Bucky’s laugh is so pure and good, bringing warmth to your chest when he throws his head back in genuine mirth; after all he’s been through, you’re amazed he can still laugh but that’s one of the things you love about him.

“If anything it was me who needed rescuing,” Bucky squeezed your thigh again, playfully this time, “turns out she’s quite passionate about balls.”

You cut through the titters of laughter.  “Now just wait a second, you’re not telling the story!”

“You want to tell it?”

“It was my ball, I’m telling it.”

Bucky raises your hand to his lips and lays a soft kiss there.  “I’m in trouble now.”

“So, it was last year on July 4th and I was out on a blind date that cousin Sherry set me up on, you remember that hot guy she lived next to?  Drew?”  You side-eyed Bucky to see his reaction, and of course he’s rolling his eyes in a long-suffering kind of way.

“Good thing I’m not insecure.”  He winks at you.

“Anyway, he took me bowling and we were gonna watch the fireworks after but then Bucky happened…”

 ++++++++

It wasn’t that Drew was boring, but he really was boring; boringly vain and he was a sore loser. You’d told him you liked bowling but you hadn’t told him that Pops used to take you bowling every week, or that you had your own ball, or that you were really good.

If a guy can take a beating with a little humility then he’s well on his way to being a keeper, you always said.

You’d played your first game and were about to start a second when a rowdy group of people arrived at the lane next to you; five of them, two redhead women and three men, and jesus if two of them weren’t made of solid muscle.

Focus.  The bowling is everything.

Half the game in you went to take your turn, Drew watching you appreciatively as you bent over. Well at least you might get a night of passion out of him, hopefully his bedroom antics were better than his patter because boy! this guy had the personality of soggy bread.

“Uhh.”  You grumbled when your ball wasn’t on the return rack. It definitely wasn’t there and it wasn’t as if you could miss the neon pink and black geometric pattern, it even had your name on it.

As you scanned around the lanes you saw your ball in the hands of the dark-haired beefcake in the adjoining lane.  A quick glance at their screen told you his name was “Buckinator”?  He scored eight, leaving a seven-ten split with your ball.

“I like that one.”  He said as he returned to the rack to collect the ball.

“That’s my ball.”  You said, meeting his gaze firmly.

“I don’t mind sharing,” he smiled softly, “I mean, they’re all communal balls right?”

“Nope.”  You popped the p as you picked up your ball and went to bowl, getting your third strike in a row. A turkey.

While Drew was taking his turn, you noticed Buckinator had your ball again, it glided down the lane catching the seven pin and chipping it across into the ten for a spare.

“Way to go Bucky!” The blonde beefcake called out.

“Hey man!”  You were on your feet and stomping the short distance over to the man to verbally assault him.  “What’s a big beefy guy like you need with a little 8 anyway? Shouldn’t you be hefting a 16 or an 18 or something?  Surprised you can stuff your big manly sausage fingers into my tiny holes,”

At first Bucky was taken aback but then he started laughing

“Hey, y/n, chill,” Drew hissed as he came to pull you away, “I can’t take those guys in a fight.”

“There won’t be a fight, man.”  Bucky reassured.  “Wow, you’re a feisty one.”

You crossed your arms across your chest.  “It really is my ball.”  You grumbled.

“I see that now,” Bucky said holding up your ball and examining the name, “y/n.”

You glared at him until he handed the ball back to you.

“I’m real sorry I offended you and used your ball.  Honestly I thought you were just being a Karen.”  He chuckled and extended his hand.  “Name’s Bucky.”

“Y/n.”  You got your bristling under control and relaxed, taking Bucky in fully now that the flames of resentment were fading; he really was a work of art.  Suddenly you wished you weren’t here on a date with Drew, well not suddenly but for a different reason.  “Better get back.”

“There’s no chance you’d consider sharing?”  Bucky asked hopefully as he searched the rack for a similar ball to yours.  “Maybe I can play you for shares?”

“Like if you beat me I share?”

“Just like that.”

“You’re on!”

And just like that Drew was forgotten – he was lame anyway, and you played Bucky for shared use of your ball.  He gave you emotion, excitement and laughter, and took his defeat like a pro.  You learned the rest of their names (Natasha, Wanda, Bruce and Steve)  and that it was Steve’s birthday.

Afterwards you went with them to watch the fireworks and Bucky gave you his jacket when you got cold. He was charming and chivalrous and at the end of the night he kissed your hand and asked if he could see you again. Of course the answer was yes.

Weeks down the line he told you he was an Avenger, wanting to be sure you liked him for him, not for his status.  He also told you his history too but that came a little later when he was ready to share it.

  ++++++++

“That’s it, he mistook my bowling ball for his in the shared ball return.”  You summarise.

“Yup.”  Bucky chuckles.  “A terrible crime.”

“So, are there any plans for some little super soldier babies?  I can’t wait to be an aunt.” Your sister is practically giddy, watching the way you two gravitate to one another and revolve around each other like two suns burning bright with love.

“Christ, sis!  You wanted my toys when we were kids now you’re after my ovaries,”

“Soooo…”  Bucky steps in; he knows you aren’t keen on having kids and he doesn’t know if he can or should with his serum situation.  “How about you guys, how did you come to be together?  Spare no detail, I want to hear it all.”

Crisis averted.  You settle against your man and listen contently to the story you’ve heard a dozen times before.  You’re happy and life is good.

[batfam-rewrites]

Batfam During Quarantine: 27 Minutes

Dick: Good morning adopted dad!

Bruce: *grunts*

Tim: Bruce is so stressed out. Yesterday I watched him stare at a page load for 1 second and he screamed his head off. He almost destroyed the computer.

Jason: I literally saw him counting grey hairs the other day. Whatever it is it must be Tim’s fault.

Tim: Don’t you blame this on me....

Dick: *speaks over Tim* Okay so anyway, here’s the challenge, *speaks a bit lower* first person to make Bruce smile gets to drive the Batmobile on their next patrol.

Cassandra: Awesome, how do we decide who.......

Jason: *walks over to Bruce*

Cassandra: Never mind.

Jason: Hey Bruuuuuce.

Bruce: *glares at Jason while slurping coffee*

Jason: Want some breakfast? *turns on stove* How about some eggs!

Bruce: What do you want?

Jason: Nothing! Just to see my *pauses a bit* old man smile.

Bruce: I will shank you.

Jason: Loving this new color on you? You should be pissed off all the time.

Bruce: Go away.

Jason: Okay......d.....d...da...

Alfred: Don’t burst a blood vessel Jason.

Jason: No, I can do this. Da......d.a....dad *sighs and puts his hand on the stove* AHHH, FUCKER!

Bruce: Jason, are you okay!

Jason: GET AWAY FROM ME, I CAN DO THIS BY MYSELF BRUCE! *quickly runs to the bathroom to run cold water over his hand*

Duke: Well that was entertaining!

Cassandra: *lays head on Bruce’s shoulder and hugs him*

Bruce: *hugs Cassandra back but no smile*

Damian: Father, I brought you a gift. *pulls out a picture of the entire batfamily together*

Bruce: *Bruce smiles* Thanks Damian, that’s really thoughtful of you.

Damian: *turns towards everyone and points* YES SUCK IT LOSERS!

Daily Briefing

Dick: Okay, so we have reached a low point of criminal activity for Gotham City which is a good thing.

Cassandra: A bit funny how it took a pandemic to make Gotham a bit peaceful.

Dick: Exactly my point. Now, with that said, we will still be doing patrols starting at 11. Tim, this is your week on sanitation duty. Throughout the day we will train a bit harder than normal. There will be scheduled times and you will each have partners. Try to train no less than two and a half hours a day. Training should include sparing, cardio, strength, and tumbling. Try to spar with someone new every week.

Dick: Also Jason, you remember when you said you wish you could fall like me.

Jason: I was being sarcastic.

Dick: I will finally be teaching you how to do pommel horse 1 hour a week like you asked.

Jason: I will kill you.

Duke: Being honest, I’d like to try high bar and floor. I feel it will be very beneficial for me in the long run.

Dick: Awesome! You got it. Now everyone has until tomorrow to pick their partner, I know my partner will be Jason. 

Jason: Fuck you.

Dick: Also, last thing before I make the training schedules and routines, I need to address something. There are quite a lot of people in Gotham City still refusing to wear mask. During the day lets try to hand out mask with our own designs on them to everyone who we come across during the day. I already ordered them and they should be here by Saturday, so that is something we will be doing starting next week. 

*alarm sounds off in the batcave*

Alfred: It would seem there is a fire at Wayne Tower on the thirty-second floor.

Dick: Alright, Duke, Jason, and I will go to check it out. Everyone else do what you would normally do.

Tim and Bruce

Tim: Hey Bruce, I brought you some coffee!

Bruce: How many cups have you had?

Tim: Three large cups.

Bruce: After......

Tim: *mumbles* The five cups I had with breakfast.

Bruce: There we go.

Tim: Okay so what are we doing?

Bruce: Someone is trying to hack into my server. If they do so they will have unlimited knowledge of the companies upcoming projects, along with the identities of our persona’s.

Tim: How long do we have?

Bruce: 27 minutes. Try to locate the hackers location.

Nightwing, Red Hood, and The Signal

They all rushed to the thirtieth floor to help out and find that the firemen are ready to head to the floor. The three heroes turned on their oxygen tanks and they charged in with the firefighters. Half of the entire floor was covered in flames. They noticed a conference room with a few people inside and Jason rushed to the door, pulling out his guns. He shot the door several times before kicking it down and escorting the people out. After that there wasn’t much left for them to do so they went back down. 

Fire Officer: Nightbird, that is the dumbest thing I have ever seen anyone do.

Jason: *laughs*

Dick: Thanks.

Fire Officer: Lets get you all checked.

Jason: The mask stay on though.

Alfred and Julia

Alfred: What are we watching

Julia: Well, I thought that with both of us being former spies, I thought we could watch an American film franchise called Mission Impossible.

Alfred: And tear it apart by it’s inaccuracies!

Julia: Yes!

Alfred: Sounds wonderful!

Nightwing, Red Hood, and The Signal

Time- 19:37

Medic: They seem fine, no way of telling for sure though without their mask off.

Duke: So we’re good to go, awesome!

Fire Officer: The fire upstairs has been put out.

Dick: Good.

Tim: Dick, are you still at Wayne Tower?

Dick: Yes, what’s up?

Tim: We’re dealing with a hacker trying to get into the server at Wayne Inc. The hacker is inside the building. We have 16 minutes and 55 seconds......

Dick: Say no more! We’re on it!

Fire Officer: There’s been another fire across town. Lets move out!

Dick: Duke, investigate the fire upstairs. If I’m not mistaken, it should be arson.

Duke: Got it.

Dick: Jason, stay here there is a hacker inside the building, You have 16 minutes to find the person or else Batman is doomed.

Jason: I guess I’ll look. 

Dick: GO! NOW!

Jason: Got it Nightbird!

Nightwing

Dick follows the fire fighters down to the floor and tells the guard to let no one in or out of the building. He rides his motor cycle, tailing the fire trucks to the scene of the next fire. He runs into the apartment complex, turning the oxygen tank on. He notices the first floor is clear so he rushes up the stairs to notice the flames stretched out across it. He dives through them and hears pounding on one of the doors. He sees the other residents and grabs two children, takes out his grappling hook, and shoots it towards the ceiling. He leads them down and has them run out of the building. He gets back up to the scond floor and takes the parents and lets them run out as well. When he saw them leave, he jumped back up to the second floor and ran into the door 3 times before finally breaking it down. The flames were now getting closer. He get back up and saw Barbara giving him a hand up.

Barbara: Need some help?

The Signal

Duke: What do you smell?

Fire Marshall: Alcohol.

Duke: Exactly.

Fire Marshall: So.... why did you ask?

Duke: Just wanted to check. Red Hood, Red Robin, Nightwing. Our hunch was right. We have an arsonist inside the building. Some witnesses have said they saw a maintenance worker carrying bottles of vodka in his cart. If I had to assume, both fires are a distraction from finding the hacker meaning there is an accomplice to whoever is in the building.

Jason: Good, now I’m pretty sure I speak for Nightbird when I say this, start helping me search for this bastard.

Duke: On it.

Tim and Bruce

Time- 10:17

Harper: I came as fast as I could.

Bruce: Good, set up your computer.

Harper: Why isn’t Alfred helping?

Bruce: Shut up and get to work.

Harper and Bruce try to fight off the hacker as well as they could. 

Harper: Awesome!

Bruce: Not good enough though.

Tim: What’s up?

Harper: We bought ourselves a few extra minutes.

Tim: Nice.

Time- 13:38

Nightwing and Batgirl

Dick: Damn, you’re a sight for sore eyes!

Barbara: Come on! We have one more floor!

The two rush to get the last residents out of the building. The flames were starting to be extinguished by the fire fighters outside of the building. Parts of the ceiling began to collapse as they made it to the top floor. Grabbing the residents they set them down on the floor and rushed to the exit, only to find it blocked by parts of the ceiling.

Dick: Stand back! Batgirl, help me clear the exit.

The two move the rubble out of the way and the residents flee the building. Both ask the authorities if they needed help, but were turned down. When the fire was put out, both walked in, and under the heavy smell of smoke, was also the scent of alcohol.

Red Hood and The Signal

Time- 8:47

Jason was on the twentieth floor, searching, when he got the announcement.

Tim: THE HACKER IS ON THE FORTY-FOURTH FLOOR!!!

Jason: Signal, where are you?

Duke: Fortieth!

Jason: I’ll see you on the forty-four! 

Jason rushed up the stairway and ran up to the forty-fourth floor to see Duke there taking on three men. Jason then pulled out his pistols and shot all three with non-lethal rounds. 

Duke: Had to take away my fun, didn’t you?

Jason: Yes! 

Tim: Did you guys get them?

Duke: All hostiles are taken down.

Tim: Awesome!

Alfred, Julia, Stephanie, Cassandra, and Selina

Alfred: Why would he choose the safe house. If this were reality Ethan would have already been arrested.

Stephanie: Alfred, we love you to death, but your ruining an amazing movie.

Julia: The movie ruined itself by it’s inaccuracies. Plus this is our bonding time, you guys weren’t even invited!

Selina: Yeah, but you guys took the only copy and once we saw you watching it, we just really wanted to watch it, too.

Harper: Oh, cool! Mind if I join?

Alfred: *sighs* The more the merrier.

Nightwing and Batgirl

Dick: Alright, our guy lives in apartment 22 on 1807 Zics Street. Let’s head there now and see if we can find him.

Barbara: Lets head there. Want to get something to eat after?

Dick: Definitely.

Dick and Barbara get on their motorcycles and drove to the apartment where they found the arsonist. They tied him to a lamppost and Barbara informed the GCPD the location of the arsonist.

 Dick: So, how has your dad been doing?

Barbara: Not too bad. He’s been a bit under pressure but he’s doing fine. How is it being a dad at the mansion?

Dick: Ohhh god. I had the thought once and decided to leave that duty to Alfred. 

Barbara: *Barbara laughs*

Dick: I help him a bit. It’s been so difficult acting like a grown up. I had to seriously step in when Alfred called Jason “Master Todd”

Barbara: Please explain further?

Dick: Well, because Jason is, well, Jason, he lost his shit because he’s “not a snooty ass rich motherfucker, Alfred!”

Barbara: Damn, I could so see that.

Dick: Yeah, and it doesn’t help that Bruce totally lost the ability to interact with other people. The other day Damian was acting up and Bruce picked him up and shouted “WHERE’S THE OFF BUTTON!”

Barbara: *laughs harder*

Dick: *laughs himself* You should have been there, it was funnier in person.

The two stare at the sky for a bit as they watch the sun set. Barbara leans her head on Dick’s shoulder and they both relax. 

Dick: I love you Babs.

Barbara: I love you too, Dick.

Dick

They both left the rooftop they were sitting on at around 8:30. Dick had missed Barbara so much and was glad to have been able to see her. He didn’t care he broke one of Bruce’s rules. It wasn’t like Bruce was going to remember anything from the first week anyway. He got into the batcave and began creating workouts for everyone. He then went to the bathroom and took a shower in the batcave, and then went upstairs. He walked into the media room to see Alfred and Julia spending time as a family.

Dick: Aw, isn’t this sweet!

Julia: Get the fuck out Dick!

Dick: Damn, okay.

Dick then walked into the kitchen to see everyone in there.

Tim: Someone took long getting back to the mansion.

Stephanie: What happened.

Dick: I met up with Babs.

Everyone: WHAT!!!!

Damian: No fair. If I knew I could have been with Jon this entire time I would have!

Selina: You’re not able to Damian, and you knew you weren’t suppose to interact with anyone outside of the mansion.

Dick: Chill. Everything is fine. We’re more likely to get sick on patrol then by hanging out with each other. What’s up with Alfred and Julia?

Jason: They got tired of everyone ruining their family bonding time so they kicked us out.

Dick: That makes sense.

There was a knock at the door, so Dick goes to open it.

Dick: Helloooo...............

Helena: Hey Dick, you look great!

Dick slams the door shut and covers the door.

Jason: *shoves Dick to the side and opens the door* Hey, Helena! It is so awesome to see you! What are you doing here?

Helena: I’m here to stay and help. Where should I put my bags?

Jason: You could put them in Dick’s room for right now! You remember where that is, right?

Helena: Yep!

Dick: coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool. *starts falling to the floor*

[delusionland]

STEPHCASS FOR THE MEME <3

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

here is my personal hc. tim told cass about a girl. he didn’t tell her anything about the girl, just that she was woefully unprepared to be a crimefighter... but also she was kinda cute, in a totally naive way (90s tim was kind of an asshole, never forget). cass couldn’t quite understand what he was saying while he showed her the batfile on her---the picture of the spoiler, etc. but she got his general tone and body language. cass then sought steph out. for nights. nights looking for the spoiler. when she found her---she tackled her, immediately engaged her in a fight. she went so, so easy on her. she just wanted to see what a cute girl was. and steph... was definitely a cute girl. at the time, cass couldn’t talk, couldn’t communicate with her. but she left her a gift. a nice knife that she had throw at her head---deliberately missing it, that was... especially ornate, and seemed shiny and valuable, and most of all purple to match her costume. pretty purple girls like pretty purple things, right?

What was their first impression of each other?

steph probably did not think well of cass, at first. after that first outing---the batfamily got involved. cass was to help steph with her fighting. steph was to help cass with her speech. without the mask on---steph could see how much cass enjoyed her company. it was hard not to realize she had a sense of humor about everything. the laughter she had exhibited on a still-baby-at-the-time spoiler screaming her head off about what she thought was some kind of demon-ninja batgirl was... genuine, and not malicious in the slightest. she seemed to want to be friends, and every time steph frowned at her, or was a sore loser, cass simply smiled and laughed harder, finding everything steph did perfectly amusing. as they got to know each other---cass got better at talking, and steph got better at fighting, and they kind of, met somewhere on the outer edges of the middle for a while. there was always something standing between them--though. a resentment, not between them, but a misunderstanding. that cass belonged to bruce and the bat. and steph belonged to tim.

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

i feel like conner kent at the very least shipped it. alfred really thought there was a spark between them, and during their brief frenemy stage---alfred made sure steph knew cass genuinely cared for her. bruce did NOT want them to get together at all, though. neither did tim, for obvious reasons.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

cass. it was love the first time steph managed to punch herin the face. did she win? no. but she GOT her. and through that tenacity, cass realized that her friend was so much more than a silly, pretty girl. she was a fighter. she was a champion. and more than anything, she was brave, and determined, and they had practiced a thousand times for just this moment. and afterwards, steph was just so proud of her overall failure instead of being herr typical loser.... cass couldnt help but know steph was always going to be the love of her life.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

they both did! didn’t want to ruin the friendship!

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

cass would get a curious look, steph wouldn’t believe you!

What would their lives be like if they had never met?

they would be a lot worse, a lot lonelier. steph never would’ve become batgirl, that’s for sure, and cass would’ve learned to speak---but in a way entirely removed from her own personality and love of herself & life.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

it was a mutual thing in ocean city, maryland. they were in a photo booth, sitting in eachother’s laps, leg over leg, they did a silly face, and then another silly face, and then their faces were so close---and then SMOOCH CITY, and they WOULD NOT LEAVE THE BOOTH lol.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

they considered ocean city their first date. but they’re not really the ‘dating’ types. they both LOVE to fight. they both LOVE to crime fight. they both LOVE spending time together doing NOTHING. if anything, the first time cass had to go to a gala with her was the first time they realized---ugh, do we REALLY have to be WAYNES? do we really have to have REAL LIVES? why can’t we stay in our cuddle - asskicking bubble forever?

What was their first kiss like?

it was the most natural possible thing, and it was something they had both almost had so many times before that it was like drowning in sensation after you had subsisted off of gerbil-cage drips of water for years. they couldn’t stop! they were consumed with want, and they only stopped when they started to get a little TOO frisky and somebody moved the curtain of the booth because they wanted to get their own picture taken and they were like ‘fuck! okay lets get french fries!’ lol

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

steph is cass’s first gf, and vice versa.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

cass is 5′7″ JUST tall enough to be taller than her gf >: )

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

cass will kill the puzzler or whatever the fuck his name is. he sucks. steph’s mom loves her tho :’ ) and well. the less said about bruce and steph the better, but like. your whole blog is proof of how much the rest of the batfam loves steph!

Who takes the lead in social situations?

they both are the ‘HAHA! THE ECONOMY!’ gif tbh.

Who gets jealous easier?

cass. steph is special cargo, the first girl / person she ever loved romantically, the first friend she ever had. however, cass has made it very publically known she wants threesomes with other hotties of multiple genders.

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

CASS CASS CASS.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

steph, and she agonized over it, only for cass to say it so easily in a way cass didn’t think it would ever be easy for her to say. like steph is some magical fairy tale princess that lifts the curse on cass to never be able to express love the way love is supposed to be expressed. steph just makes things easy. she makes everything easy.

What are their primary love languages?

TOUCH. GAMES. QUALITY TIME. GIFTS.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

they both do they’re TERRIBLE.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

batgirl and the black bat are forced on seperate patrols bc they do this so much and they HATE it and SNEAK OUT and kiss ANYWAY!

Who initiates kisses?

cass!

Who’s the big and little spoon?

cass is big spoon!

What are their favorite things to do together?

they really like watching wrestling and kung fu movies together i think. steph also likes girly movies, but cass gets bored after a while and just starts wrestling with her over the popcorn and then wrestling leads to hankypanky. most of all they love fighting and dancing AND PLAYING PRANKS on the bat boys.

Who’s better at comforting the other?

cass is.

Who’s more protective?

CASS IS.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

physical affection.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

jenny - studio killers

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they both call each other batgirl affectionately, cass also learns new words to say girlfriend and sweetie all the time and uses those.

Who remembers the little things?

STEPH.

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

they COMPETE to see who will do it first. they use the batcave to make sure the other isnt going to look for rings. and when they find the other one shopping for rings. its fucking GO-TIME BITCH. you’re not going to propose to me, i’m going to propose to you! when they pop out the boxes at the exact same time, cass steals the ring from steph’s hands and holds it up over her head and throws hers at steph’s head like ‘YOU HAVE TO MARRY ME FIRST. NO TAKEBACKSIES.’

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

it’s a big wedding. cass loves, loves people. it’s a whos-who, especially since cass is gonna be batman and she has all the justice league contacts now. cass turns a bit into a bridezila, but like, as a joke, mostly, and she calms down when steph is like ‘i thought we could be more intimate...’ lol

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

they adopt some bratty street kids that are tangentially related to joker / black mask / puzzler / lady shiva as a fuck you. they love their kids so much.

Do they have any pets?

so many cats. a million cats.

Who’s the stricter parent?

cass.

Who worries the most?

steph.

Who kills the bugs in the house?

cass.

How do they celebrate holidays?

they go to concerts!!!! big loud concerts where they can mosh!!!

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

cass! no school! just cuddles!

Who’s the better cook?

steph. cass doesn’t know how to, and also refuses to, fry an egg.

Who likes to dance?

cass most of all!

[lady-of-the-spirit]

What do Kris and Hestia have written in their notebooks about the Avengers?

I'm gonna skip the Avengers that Kris and Hestia already personally know (Tony and Thor respectively).

I went back and forth on whether or not to do canon MCU avengers or the "living together in the tower, nothing except good things happened after 2012" avengers universe, but went with the latter to keep things light. (Canon MCU Kris has less affectionate thoughts, which you can also ask about if you want.)

I put it under the cut bc it got long. spoilers: Kris is snarky and calls 3 people bitches, and Hestia is very affectionate.

Kris's notebook:

Natalie - she's so smart and hot what the fuck??? she put her hand on my shoulder when she was reaching for something in front of me this morning and I can still feel it. I can feel myself blushing every time she stands too close. is that normal? that's probably normal. I'm sure everyone feels that way around her. how can they not?

Natasha - DISREGARD ENTRY ABOUT NATALIE. Natasha is really fucking cool. Like honestly, she could kill me and I'd be fine with it. I think she knows that I had a crush on her even after finding out she wasn't really Natalie but she's never said anything. This is probably for the best because I am NOT going to ever want to have that conversation. ever. that went on for an embarrassingly long time.

Bruce - Someone who speaks English! his work in biochemistry is unparalleled!!! Also, he's super nice, like no one should be that nice? Where's he from, Minnesota?? when I was having my acrophobic freakout when we met he was talking me through it and everything, even though he didn't know me personally (obviously he knew OF me). just the best. also surprisingly funny. love this guy.

Clint - Bitch (affectionate). stop stealing my leftovers and eating them in the vents, I know you're up there, you bastard.

Steve - first impression of him was that he was a little bitch with a stick up his ass. once he started living in the tower, he got better. still a little bitch, but in a good way. he's a good guy and a good leader. I refuse to tell him that, though. but also he keeps pulling me out of fights and it's like, "Jeez, Steve, just because I almost threw hands with a 9-foot tall alien one time doesn't mean I'm always gonna do that."

Thor - he keeps stealing my poptarts AND he's an extremely sore loser when it comes to Mario Kart. amazing hair. He gives really good hugs. He likes asking for my help when he works out, and he has me sit on his back while he does pushups and things. one time I wrote a whole paper while he was doing that.

Pietro - he keeps stealing my food! this is a house of food stealers! bitch!!

Wanda - [writing is completely scratched out and illegible] [a few doodles of hearts can be seen in the margins] [a sticky note has been placed over the entry. it reads: "Wanda's really great and I think I'm in love with her."]

Hestia's notebook:

Bruce - Such a sweetheart! He's the first person I go to when I don't understand something about Earth. He always tries to explain it in a way I can understand. He's very easy to be with. While some of the people we love most are loud and extroverted, we both sometimes need quieter, calmer people to hang out with, and Bruce is perfect for that.

Tony - He seemed very confused about Thor and I being married for some reason. He kept asking questions about it. I think it's because I'm not who they were expecting, but it's fine! He's a strange one, but he's funny. Sometimes I pretend to not understand an earth concept just to see how worked up he gets. I called a lamp a "tiny sun" the other day after he spent an hour explaining what they were and he just stared at me until I started smiling and gave myself away.

Natasha - she reminds me of Athena, and quite a bit of Loki as well. I'm not sure what to make of her most of the time. She always seems to be hiding something - like she's keeping all of her cards close to her chest. There's something below her surface. But she always tries to be kind to me, and she, like Bruce, is one of those quieter types of people.

Clint - I'm not sure what to make of him, either! He's funny, though, and he's made me laugh even when I don't understand his jokes or references. He plays the fool very well, but I can see he's smarter and stronger than people give him credit for. I think he may be a better archer than Artemis and Apollo, even, but I'd rather not say that and have it become an issue.

Steve - Very kind! I can see why Thor likes him so much. They are very similar in their recklessness and eagerness to fight and prove themselves, even when confident. He seems to be a good leader, and I have to trust him if he is the one leading my husband.

Pietro - I have no idea what to think of this boy. But he's sweet when you break down those defensive layers. And it takes very little to do so (all I did was offer him a bowl of soup!). I can see how much he cares for and looks out for his sister, and it reminds me a little of myself. It makes me sad to think of how much of their childhood was lost.

Wanda - She, like her brother, has many defensive layers, but they are much harder to break down. I can see how life has been hard on her and how much she has hardened herself in response. I hope the Avengers will be good for her and help her heal from her trauma. I think she's more powerful than she realizes - and sometimes she looks at me and I think she sees the same thing in me.

This was fun! Feel free to send more ocs if you want :)

[veryvincible]

Do you think you could share some of your Tony Ty youth/relationship days hcs? hehe

Yours truly,

Tys obsessed fan

Oh boy! I have been sitting on this for a few days now, because there is, uh, a lot. Also, I adore you, and I love every Ty ask I receive.

I think this post would end up far too long if I responded the way I desire to in my heart, so I’ll keep it relatively simple (edit: it did not stay relatively simple, and also it branched out slightly into other topics. This is so very long. Be warned.)

Content warnings here for psychological/emotional abuse/domestic abuse/child abuse!

I like to think they didn’t really have a “let’s get together!” moment. I think they ended up becoming close, they were casual with each other, and it just kind of... became what it became. I think they probably ended up using labels at some point, but I don’t think there was ever an official, “Would you like to go out on a date with me?” or “Would you want to be, like, boyfriends?” moment. 

I think Tony was a generally isolated kid (obviously, he gained acquaintances like Bruce and potentially Reed as he grew older, but you know) and Ty was... probably also a generally isolated kid. Ty may have had a few other “friends” around, given what we know about him; he’s certainly charismatic. I don’t think Ty would have really developed close friendships with many people, though, given that his personality seems more rotten the closer you get to him.

We don’t see a lot of their childhood together at all, so this is almost entirely shit I’ve come up with for the sake of fic writing and general note-taking for the sake of coherency with how I write Ty, but.

One thing I tend to lean toward is the idea that Ty had kind of an awful home life. This isn’t really an, “Aw, boo, so sad, what a tragic man,” sort of thing so much as it is that... I think Ty and Tony are at their most interesting when they’re contrasting forces, and the idea of Tony (a victim of abuse who broke the cycle) becoming friends with Ty (a victim of abuse who perpetuates the cycle) at a young age, not in spite of their differences but because of them, is something I really like to think about.

We don’t actually get much of Ty’s parents in canon-- they’re kind of implied to be, like, Fine Parents. They’re contrasted with Howard Stark, who pulls the shark-eat-shark business motherfucker thing and basically causes Mr. Stone’s business to, like. Drown, or whatever. You know. The contrast there is implied, and I respect that for what it is. That being said, that’s not what interesting for me to write, and as such, I’ve chosen to tweak these little details for the sake of my more personalized (and slightly more self-indulgent) fic writing experience.

I think there’s a lot of potential in considering the differences between how they act at home as opposed to how they act with each other, too. I think Home Tony is generally apprehensive and subdued, but more uncertain and anxious than outright fearful 24/7. In IM Vol. 1, Howard was shown to be unpredictable; we got to see a lot of bad, but there were also sparkling moments wherein they seemed to be bonding as a father-son duo, and Tony would actually get to work with his father and learn from his father. I think that very well could have exacerbated the anxiety he felt, because he’s not being taught to never touch anything ever-- he’s being taught that there are very specific circumstances under which he’s able to explore as he’d like to, and those circumstances are 1) virtually impossible to accurately predict and 2) subject to change at the drop of a hat. So, Tony has been shown to be at least a little bit capable of testing the waters with what he’s allowed to do in the house and what he’s not allowed to do. That doesn’t make it any less anxiety-inducing, it just makes him a tiny, tiny bit of a more active child than one who’s constantly paralyzed.

Home Ty, to me, would be the opposite-- he is fearful 24/7, and as such, his behavior as a child is kind of... flawless, at least in the eyes of parents who think that children should be seen, not heard (and sometimes not even seen). I think both of his parents were abusive-- his father more so than his mother, but certainly both of them, if only because I think it would be yet another nice contrast between him and Tony, whose mother wasn’t perfect but certainly tried harder and felt more for Tony than Howard did. I like to think Ty was kept on a very short leash at home; boundaries were predictable, there were no “glimmering moments” he could grasp onto in order to make him feel like there was ever a chance of having normal family dynamics, and he was too afraid to really... do anything about it.

In contrast, I think Boarding School Ty was probably a lot pushier, a lot more risk-taking, and generally just... took up more space. I think he was still pretty fearful of authority and nervous about punishment, but he was well aware of the fact that this was distinctly different from being at home and that most people at school didn’t give a flying fuck about him. It likely could have been both liberating and anxiety inducing for someone so used to being around people who found it important to control him. I think he was probably pretty manipulative at this point, but I don’t think it was at the point where you would point to him and go, “Oh, what a fucked up, toxic person!”, especially since he was, like... a little fucking dude. Like, a fucking young’un. But I think the seeds were sort of planted here, and given that he had no healthy relationships to model himself after, he worked off of the assumption that in order to have control as opposed to being controlled, he needed to 1) possess things, 2) protect them aggressively, and 3) make sure his authority wasn’t threatened.

Boarding School Tony (from what little we’ve seen of him, though we can imagine he was probably similar to pre-boarding school Tony for a while, just with more Issues now) was probably the opposite-- less willing to take up space and less willing to take risks. It’s not unimaginable to assume that he might have thought his (extremely) mild exploratory tendencies might have had something to do with the abandonment, and he very well could have adjusted accordingly; if him causing trouble for people was what pushed his parents to leave him, he would very simply not cause trouble. A lot of this is nabbed from Adult Tony tendencies, wherein pretty much everyone else is prioritized over himself and he’s practically incapable of finding himself worthy of anything at all.

It’s the classic “extrovert friend-adopts an introvert” trope, except... it’s a severely damaged child feeling gutsy enough to finally, finally take up space and find something to possess and control for his own for once... friend-adopting a severely damaged child who very likely feels like the best way to proceed in relationships is to very clearly identify boundaries, figure out what it is the other person wants from him, and try to adhere to those desires as much as he’s able.

Of course, canon portrays the relationship as a “friendly rivalry” that Ty takes much more seriously than Tony does. From what we’ve seen of Tony, though, Tony doesn’t actually want to be better than anyone. In fact, he tries his best to make it seem like the opposite. He treats everyone like they’re on the same level, he tries to simplify the concepts he’s explaining so no one feels inferior to him, and, generally, he just... isn’t much of a braggart. That isn’t to say competitive/proud people can’t be kind and gentle and want to level the playing field often, but in Tony’s case, it seems that competition is best for two things: 1) having two intelligent, capable people trying to outdo each other and, in the process, creating better and better technology for the betterment of society at large, and 2) lighthearted fun.

For Ty, it very clearly wasn’t just lighthearted fun, and I think most of their childhood rivalry would have become formulaic at a point: Tony would put a good amount of effort into their competitions, but if it seemed that Ty was lagging behind too much, Tony would simply back off and let things even out. I don’t think Ty was predictably a sore loser; in fact, I think he was unpredictable, and I think a part of Tony that had only known life to be unpredictable found some level of sick comfort in that.

For Tiberius Stone specifically, I tend to read more into the unintended consequences/implications of his character based on one-off lines that... weren’t really intended to say much. The story canon gives us isn’t incohesive, exactly! It’s a pretty good story, especially if you’re not hellbent on analyzing character motivations. There’s just a lot about Ty that doesn’t seem very stable. Obviously, he’s not a stable person, given that he, uh, freaked the fuck out and tried to take over the world. But when I say Ty doesn’t seem very stable, I mean his character doesn’t seem the most stable at a second glance; we’re given conflicting accounts about his motivations, his intentions, his past, and even what he’s trying to do in the moment. And some of these inconsistences can be found in dialogue from Ty’s own mouth.

Now, if you read into it from a point of view that’s canon-adjacent as opposed to canon-compliant (i.e., assuming there’s much more of a story there than canon offers, and canon’s “case closed!” for the timeline of Ty’s life isn’t actually a closed case), you can gauge not only some level of dysregulation, but also... a level of delusion, almost. Ty seems disconnected from reality, but it’s not like there’s one single alternate timeline of events that’s cohesive in his head. It feels like his view of the world and, most importantly, himself (and this is excluding dialogue wherein he’s explicitly lying to Tony in order to manipulate him).

Most notably, we can kind of gauge fluctuations in his own views of his self worth. He engages in constant competition with Tony, he refuses to come back to America after leaving until he’s more successful than Tony, and pretty much everything he does is to prove he’s better than Tony. So, he thinks he’s better than Tony, right?

Well, not really. Because so much of his life was spent with the understanding that he wasn’t better than Tony. That was the whole reason he was gone for so long. He said he’d come back once he’d beat Tony, and... he still hadn’t beaten Tony. The beginning of the narrative leads you to assume that he thinks his big victory was being richer somehow, but it was all a set-up to bait Tony into Dreamvision. He comes across like he wants to kill Tony at first, and when that doesn’t work, he wants to... keep Tony. Like a pet, almost. But he also wants Tony to... kill him?

It’s a lot. It’s messy. It’s inconsistent. And that’s kind of what’s interesting about it. It (unintentionally, probably) suggests that Ty doesn’t have consistent motivations, which is something you do see often in people who are in survival mode in environments that don’t necessarily warrant it. It suggests a psychological wound that’s easy to poke at.

Essentially, Ty just comes across as very... hurt. Which, y’know, doesn’t justify shit and doesn’t make him any better of a person, but it provides the opportunity for some interesting narratives to sprout. Figuring out all the ways that Tony could unintentionally pick at this psychological wound of his and all the ways Ty could poorly respond is neat, I think, and I feel like these kinds of narratives tend to be very... raw, I guess, is the word I’m looking for. They just kind of hit hard, especially for those who have experienced similar situations.

It’s just something that’s terribly common in abusive relationships-- any implication that the traumatized abuser is doing something wrong can be a trigger for a borderline nervous breakdown, which makes communication practically impossible and, if the victim of the abuse feels obligated to stick around or take on the role of caretaker, turns the relationship into a cycle of insecurity and misery on all fronts. That’s not to say the abuser and the victim are suffering equally or are equally justified/valid, but it is a kind of relationship dynamic that can be incredibly cathartic to both write and read, and it’s also just... I don’t know. It just, as the kids say, hits different.

So, rewinding about four paragraphs there (whoops, this is getting long), I think most of my feelings about youth/relationship days Ty/Tony kind of center around this concept of two suffering people handling their trauma in totally opposite ways. I think it’s especially interesting to look at it from the point of view of them as younger adults (or teenagers, or children) who aren’t so set in their ways quite yet. You see these redemptive qualities and you see these children and these teenagers who are so, so ready to be helped and saved and cared for, but with the knowledge that they just... don’t get that. Not for a long time, at least.

It can feel fatalistic from a narrative standpoint, and... I mean, it kind of is. There are very few circumstances under which I could see Ty getting a redemption arc of any kind, and that’s kind of what makes a younger Ty so tragic. Everything he does is born of insecurity and anger, and everything Tony does is born of insecurity and love.

I think (for a short period of time, at least), they molded each other. Ty’s anger and competitiveness only solidified Tony’s inferiority complex and Tony’s inability to really, genuinely stand up against Ty in a way that would make any lasting meaningful changes only cemented the idea in Ty’s head that this was an acceptable way to be.

Now that that’s out of the way, here are some more simple and concise headcanons, because you asked for them and I’m sorry this became so terribly long and broke off in so many different directions:

- I think Tony and Ty bickered a lot as they got older. I don’t think Tony was totally incapable of standing up for himself, but I do think Tony probably had a tendency to call Ty out in the moment, and when Ty became too agitated and too unreasonable, Tony just left it alone and let it settle. 

- I think Ty can play house extremely well. He probably remembers all of Tony’s favorite foods, favorite songs, favorite fabrics, favorite... I don’t know what other favorite things you could have, but you get my point. I don’t think he always used this information, but I think it would be incredibly important for him to know how to make someone feel loved, even if he didn’t always employ these methods (and in some cases, may have actively withheld certain kindnesses as acts of pettiness). I think it was also incredibly important for him to know Tony’s dislikes, for... obvious reasons.

- As I said before, I think Ty had a tendency to become terribly dysregulated; I think he was more than capable of both premeditated manipulation and unintentional manipulation. I think he very likely could have fallen into a spiral of thoughts that could make it pretty clear just how easily his self worth and his view of Tony’s worth fluctuated. 

- Tony’s just... a stronger person than Ty. That’s a given. That’s been proven. And I think a lot of Tony’s willingness to put up with Ty would have come from this idea that he was more resilient and Ty was more fragile and volatile, so if Ty needed to take shit out on him every so often, that was fair enough.

- Another factor that may have played into Tony’s tolerance of Ty’s behavior in their youth (which, again, wasn’t nearly as awful as what Ty did as a grown ass man, given how Tony responded to Ty post-Dreamvision and how he pretty much immediately broke things off-- though, I very much enjoy the concept of Tony making some effort to make amends and Ty failing to meet him in the middle yet again) could have been the fact that it feels like Ty probably didn’t have a lot of other friends at all, especially not close friends. I think Tony would very much carry the weight of this “Maybe I’m the only person in the world who loves him” mindset. He values human life quite a bit, and I believe that even on a less intimate scale, if Tony tried to view the situation through the perspective of an outsider, he would still feel terribly, terribly saddened by the very human tragedy of being forced to take more than you can reasonably handle and becoming difficult to redeem as a result of this-- not because there’s no good left in you, but because you’re so frightened by the idea of even touching the trauma that you can’t force yourself to acknowledge you have a problem to begin with.

- I don’t think Ty feels the same comfort and warmth from physical contact that most people do, not because of anything innate (i.e. a natural preference), but because the only physical contact he received for a long, long time was, uh... Awful! That being said, I think he enjoys physical contact on the basis of being the center of attention, and he probably initiated physical contact quite a bit. I think Tony’s very big on physical contact, and Ty would very much play into Tony’s preferences here, too. Just to make himself seem like a better, more attentive boyf.

- This one is less tragic-- I think Ty and Tony get pretentious together! While I adore in-canon comparisons between Tony and the rest of high society, I also think a long-forgotten part of Tony’s character in fanon is the fact that he really does fit in with a more yacht-having crowd just as much as he fits in with your average Joes. He was raised by them and with them, after all, and his education was shaped by this. Of course he doesn’t love a lot of the culture around it, but with regards to the more harmless aspects of being a privileged kid in the environment he was in (the experiences one might have that aren’t inherently negative, that is, like having certain extracurriculars or being exposed to certain educational content), I think Ty and Tony really mesh here. Tony’s sense of humor with Ty would be totally different from his sense of humor with someone like Steve, which would also be totally different from his sense of humor with someone like Rumiko. Tony’s incredibly well-rounded, and I think he could match Ty’s Classics-loving, borderline classical theater kid tendencies very well.

- This one is 100% headcanon, based on virtually nothing other than, like, one comic panel... that isn’t even awesome evidence. It’s just a personal hc. I think Ty’s gay. Like, obviously, he’s gay for Tony, w/e. But I think Ty’s gay as in, Ty is exclusively attracted to men. The only women he ever had eyes for (or showed interest in) were the women that Tony had shown interest in/dated first, implying that there’s more of a possessive/competitive aspect than anything really... genuine. Of course, that doesn’t mean he can’t be bi, pan, or anything else (or straight, obviously, but this whole post is about him and a guy he likes to fuck, so that doesn’t really fit into the theme, here), but I prefer to write him as someone who’s only really interested in men (Tony specifically), and I prefer to write Tony as a bisexual man with a preference for women. This wasn’t really intended to be a big contrast between them; I had the headcanon for Tony already set in stone (haha), and for a long while I wrote Ty as a bi man, but recently I’ve kind of shifted things around to better accommodate my feelings about these characters.

- I love, love, love tattooed Ty. Get this man a quote in Latin on the base of his neck. Get this man some symbolic tattoos. Let this man be a poet who simultaneously wants to appear profound for appearances and wants to have these symbols on his body just because he likes them, and he likes to look at them, and they feel reflective of who he is. I have very specific Ty tattoo thoughts that I do not remember at all, but this is the gist of it.

- I think Ty handles the “normal” adventurous stuff, but he’s far more of a, uh... I don’t know, a pussy? than Tony is. Tony deals with actual threats; Ty deals with fake, stupid threats. Ty is the guy who rids the dorms of cockroaches when Tony’s too afraid to and Tony is the guy who handles home invasions.

- I think the vast majority of Ty’s abuse is emotional/psychological, not only because this is what comes most naturally to him and it’s easy for him to fall into these manipulative tendencies without necessarily thinking about it, but also because physical abuse would cross a line for him in his head that would be very difficult to ignore. I think, if you take into consideration how volatile he seems, his flip-flopping back and forth between how he feels about both himself and Tony could become more exaggerated and more severe, possibly leading to an irreversible breakdown of his psyche. I think there could very well be an, “Oh, I’ve become my father” moment if that were to happen, which is exactly why it doesn’t happen. Ty’s too wrapped up in this idea that, so long as he doesn’t cross that line, everything he does can still be justified. Which is garbage.

- Tiberius did not like Sunset Bain. Sunset Bain did not like Tiberius. 

There’s a lot more that comes to mind, but this is already upwards of 30 paragraphs, and I, uh. Do not want to make this longer than it already is! So, do with that what you will.

Again, obligatory note here that this is canon-adjacent and canon-inspired, but not an analysis of canon material in the sense that I’m attempting to pick apart what the intents of the writers were. What canon provides is much more straightforward. These are headcanons, this is for funsies, and a lot of less important background details have been tweaked for the sake of the narratives that I, as a fanfic writer, would like to write and see written.

Thank you so much for the ask! This was legitimately so nice to write. I rarely ever get to spam about this, which is very likely why there’s just so much text every time I receive an ask like this, but. Again, it was very nice and I’m very grateful for you, anon.

[penpatronuswhump]

WHUMPTOBER 2020 

No. 22

Fandom: Avengers

Whumpee: Tony Stark

Caregivers: Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff

Title: If Lips Could Kill

By: PenPatronus // PenPatronusAooO 

“Can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Steve muttered to Tony as they approached the stage at the annual Stark Relief “FUN”draiser. The crowd was laughing and clapping, enjoying the anticipation and suspense. Natasha stood at the podium, also clapping, cocking an eyebrow. She was wearing a long sequined black and red gown with red lipstick that made her eyes pop.

 “Sore loser already?” Tony unbuttoned his tuxedo jacket and ran a hand through his hair. “I bet I go for 50% more than you.”

 “You have a girlfriend. You shouldn’t be doing this anyway.”

 “My girlfriend knows that this money is going to a good cause. She’s fine with a little kiss.”

 “Why doesn’t Thor have to do this?”

 “Thor’s off-world, and Clint, Sam, and Bruce did this last time. They were happy to contribute to the fundraiser. Why aren’t you?”

 “Sorry, but unlike you, I’m not used to kissing girls I’ve known for three seconds.”

 “Ouch, Rogers! Just because I’m auctioning you off like a whore doesn’t mean you have to go through the low blows.”

 Steve sighed as they climbed the stairs. “Don’t call it that. This isn’t prostitution.”

 “You sure about that?” Tony summoned his most charming smile and waved to the clapping crowd. The two Avengers stood side-by-side on Natasha’s right, half-blinded by the stage lights, looking out on an audience of a thousand people. Some of the richest in the world turned out for the fundraiser. Friends of Stark, people curious to see the Avengers up close and, likely, some who just wanted to participate in the “main event.” That main event was a glorified kissing booth. Natasha was about to auction off Steve and Tony’s lips.

 Natasha had reached the end of her explanation of the rules when Steve suddenly sidestepped Tony and whispered something in her ear. “Really?” she sighed. Then she pouted, “You’re no fun.” She then turned back to the audience and, after making her opinion clear with a scowl, announced that the only people allowed to participate were the females. More than one voice in the crowd booed loudly.

 “Coward,” Tony said when Steve returned to his side.

 “Ladies and… Ladies! Who would like to kiss Tony Stark, Iron Man himself!” said Natasha with an entertainer’s flair the boys didn’t know she had in her. “Let’s start the bidding at $1000!”

 The woman who won with a whopping $10 million dollar donation was at least 70. She wore a dress more appropriate for a 20-year-old, with white gloves up past her elbows. “Oh my god, she’s ancient,” Tony whispered to Steve while maintaining his smile. “This one should be yours, old man.”

 Steve was enjoying every minute of the situation, and so was Natasha, and the hooting and hollering crowd. “Still enjoying this ‘fun’draiser?”

 “I hate you.”

 Nat stepped away from the mic, reached down the stairs, took the woman’s gloved hand, and helped her ascend by grasping her upper arm. “This is Winnie!” she said, introducing her new friend. “She’s here to kill you.”

 Still maintaining their smiles, Tony and Steve both said, “What?”

 “Yeah!” Natasha maintained her composure, too. She smiled and laughed and spoke with her hands while she said, “She’s a much younger woman wearing makeup to make her look old and frail, and under that glove is a metal arm that probably has a hand strong enough to pop your Adam’s apple out of your throat like a champagne cork.”

 “Winnie” also kept smiling. “Ok, ok, ok… Look, you got me, all right? I’m a hired gun, yes, but I did still give you $10 million dollars. Can’t I get a kiss anyway?” Before Tony could say “hell, no!,” Winnie darted forward and kissed him on the lips with bright red lipstick. The crowd loved it. “There,” Winnie said, “was that soooo bad?”

 Tony chuckled and waved bashfully at the crowd. “Go backstage and turn yourself over to secur—security—” Tony tugged his bowtie away from his neck. “If you don’t cooperate now we’ll… We’ll…” Tony suddenly reached backward, blindly, fingers opening and closing.

 Steve realized his friend was reaching for him, and stepped forward. He took the hand Tony was reaching with, and then put his other hand around Tony’s upper arm. “Stark?”

 Ninja-quick, Natasha suddenly grabbed the woman by the neck and flipped her over onto her back. Before that, she yanked off Tony’s bowtie. She pressed it to the woman’s lips, then smelled the lipstick on the fabric. She looked up at her teammates, horrified. “It’s poison!” She quickly wiped the poison off Tony’s lips, but they all knew it was too late.

 The crowd was probably shouting. Security stormed the stage and took the woman away. The running shoes of a thousand people sounded like thunder. Steve noticed none of this. None, because Tony collapsed back into his arms. He’d wrapped his arms around himself as if from a sudden chill. At first he tipped forward but, in trying to right himself, leaned too far back right when the weakness hit. His lips were blue and his entire body was trembling. Steve watched, dismayed, helpless, as Tony’s body arched toward the ceiling and he cried out in pain.

 “Hang on. Hang on, Stark,” Nat urged. Tears hovered in her eyes – all professionalism gone, replaced by desperation. “Ambulance is on its way.”

 Tony’s head rested on Steve’s knee. He reached out a hand for each of them. They took it and squeezed back. The blueness around his lips spread to his cheeks, then down his neck, all the way to the tips of his fingers. He stared at Steve, whispered something about Pepper, and then his eyes rolled back into his skull and he went still.

 “He stopped breathing!” Natasha cried. She checked his pulse and found none. “You breathe for him,” she ordered Steve. “I’ll do the compressions.”

 ----------

 A day later, Steve sat drinking from a bottle of water and reading a Tolkien book beside Tony’s hospital bed. Stark had been in and out of consciousness. They’d gotten an antidote to him in time and although he had a long recovery time in front of him, he was going to make it.

 “Hey,” Tony whispered around his sore throat when he woke up and saw Steve. “Hell of a party.”

 “Hey. Yeah. Let’s never do it again.” Steve rose, then sat on Tony’s bedside. “You scared me.”

 Tony snorted. “Should I apologize?”

 “I should apologize. I should’ve stopped her before she got to you. I’m sorry.”

 Tony made that buzzing sound by flapping his lips. “Cap, I know you expect yourself to be able to save everyone, but shit happens.”

 “Shit happens?”

 “It means that bad things happen and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

 “Hmm.” Steve looked down at his hands. “Scared me,” he whispered, mostly to himself.

 The two men sat in silence for a moment, each reliving what had happened. Steve shuddered.

 “Heard you did the CPR.” Tony eventually said. “You do know that whole show was being recorded, right? Thought you didn’t want to kiss a guy?”

 Steve chuckled and put his face in his hands. “Shut up.”

 The End

[alecthedevil]

Handcuffs (Bat family x reader)

Pairing: Bat family x reader (Platonic obviously)

Word Count:1688

No specific pronouns used. All inclusive reader!

Warnings: Like one swear word.

...

99% of the time, at least one resident of Wayne Manor was causing trouble. Even Dick and Jason, who hadn’t lived with Bruce for a long while, were known to be problematic in their visits to the Manor.

Last month, Tim not only managed to trip down the stairs, he did so whilst sleepwalking with a plate of pancakes in his hand. The incident arose many questions. How did he fall down the stairs? Why isn’t his neck broken? Tim sleepwalks? Didn’t I tell you to keep an eye on him? Where did he get the pancakes from? Wait did Alfred make Pancakes?

Two weeks ago, Jason and Dick put aside their differences decided to hum the mission impossible theme on their top-secret mission to infiltrate the villains lair and save the damsel in distress. The villain being Bruce, the lair aka the Batcave, and the damsel being their confiscated phones due to their previous night’s hijacking of the bat mobile. Jason tripped Dick, Dick fell down and bumped into the table, the coffee was spilt onto the floor, Bruce, otherwise unaware of their antics rushed in at the sound and slipped on the coffee, Jason laughed so hard he backed into one of the display cabinets, knocking it over, it fell down and narrowly missed Titus, Titus sprang up and barked so much that Tim wandered down stairs to find his brother’s and father in a heap on the floor, their mission thoroughly failed.

On Monday Damian thought not to tell the household that his latest pet was a python certainly not native to Gotham, let alone America, and did not think he should perhaps tell anyone that it was not in the glass tank he’d acquired to care for it. Alfred received a shock when he opened a cabinet in the kitchen to retrieve a dish, only to find a sleeping snake curled up.

Yes, it was safe to say that the Wayne residence was full of drama and mischief.

Today, the problem was you.

It wasn’t your fault. Not really. I mean, it’s not like anyone told you not to touch the stuff on the table in the cave. Nobody warned you that it wasn’t a good idea to mess around with some of the new gadgets Bruce was working on.

Ok so maybe Bruce had said something along the lines of;

“blah blah blah, don’t go into the bat cave without permission, more words, more talking, don’t touch anything, he’s still talking, the things down there are NOT for fun, they’re for work, something something, do you understand me?”

And yeah, you understood him. But like, he said not to go down there and touch stuff. So that’s why you did the opposite and did everything he said not to do. But c’mon. Isn’t it really obvious that you were going to do It anyway? It’s not like it resulted in too big of a problem.

“Uh, Bruce?” “No.” “But I-” “No.” “I really think you should-” “I’m working.” “Okay… but it’s just that,” “Y/n, I’m busy.” “... Bruceeeeeeeeeeeeee” “You can see I’m working.” “I know, but…” “… but what.” “No, it’s fine. You’re working, I don’t want to bother you.” “What did you want?” “Tell me that you’ll always love me no matter what.” “What did you do?” “Tell me.”

“I’ll always love you no matter what. Now what did you do?”

“I can’t get them off...”

You messed around with the prototype batcuffs Alfred and Bruce had been experimenting with. Bruce wanted to make them unescapable after the last time the Riddler managed to unlock them. The idea was for them to be Unescapable for the wearer, but not for the captor. Unfortunately they were in fact, unescapable for even Gotham’s Dark Knight.

Luckily for you, you had the smartest people in Gotham at your side, ready to tackle the issue.

Alfred and Bruce poured over the plans for the cuffs, certain that they could kill two birds with one stone by simply fixing the cuffs so that they were the real thing instead of broken prototypes, and therefore it could really be a valuable use of time.

Dick tried dish soap. It worked, he proclaimed, for rings stuck on peoples fingers, and it’s kind of the same thing really, when you think about it.

Tim pulled together an elaborate plan composed of several complex elements including but not limited to; the batmobile, rope and chain, an antique radio, several straws, the dish soap from earlier, a turkey sandwich, parts he’d need to unscrew from the garage door, a thorn from a rose between the colours of bashful blush and Scarlett Dream, two spoons, a canary and most importantly; something to burn metal with. He wanted a flame thrower, but on such short notice, promised that he could work with a blow torch if need be.

Safe to say Tim was put on bed rest until further notice.

Damian, grandson of the demon, son of Batman and Tahlia Al Ghul, Robin and well-trained fighter and weapons expert all round proposed an idea so practical, it was unclear why no one had thought of it before.

“Tch. I Don’t see why we don’t leave them to rot in them. It would serve them right. I wouldn’t be as stupid to lock myself in handcuffs.”

You’d responded with a glare and a “I won’t hesitate Bitch”, much to Dick’s delight.

Sometime later it became apparent that nobody had an idea and it was basically a good opportunity for an argument to occur between the members of your family, bar Alfred of course. (Alfred would never partake in such an opportunity.)

Bruce was hunched over his work bench, looking tired and frustrated. Alfred had prepared several cups of tea and strong coffee, most of which had remained untouched as Bruce tried to understand where the hand cuffs had gone wrong.

Dick had become very flustered, flitting around nervously, and wringing his hands like a worried mother. “Oh, my poor baby!” he cried, when you complained that your wrists were sore, throwing his arms around you. The hug was suffocating, but you were pretty sure he needed the comfort more than you did.

Tim escaped his bedroom and was sitting on the floor with one of the cups of coffee not meant for him, looking at the wall blankly. There was no further update for him, as he had not made any movement since sitting down.

Damian had left some time ago with Titus. As he was not allowed to pester Tim or you anymore, he’d declared that he was not going to waste his time on such a silly issue anymore and disappeared into the training room for practice.

And as for you. Well, you’re wrists were aching, your head hurt, and you were beginning to worry about how you were ever going to eat dinner if you couldn’t separate your hands enough to grab utensils. It was a very distressing thought, so you escaped upstairs just as Bruce yelled at Dick to sit down and for Tim to go to bed.

It was only when you went upstairs that you heard the loud music blasting from somewhere in the house. And judging by the fact that your brothers, Bruce and Alfred were downstairs, it could only mean one thing;

Jason was home.

You wandered into the workshop, an attachment for the garage that nobody seemed to ever go into except Jason. It housed all the power tools and handy man equipment that anyone could ever desire, despite the fact no one in the house ever used it. You weren’t allowed in there, usually due to your habit of touching things that were potentially dangerous. But Jason was a rebel, and he liked woodwork, and fixing things, so it became his designated zone in the house.

The music was louder in here, and Jason was banging his head along to a rock song currently playing.

“Hey Kid!” he called over the music when he saw you, adding a drum roll on the table for good measure.

“Why’s the music so loud?” You ask.

He walked to the stereo and turned it down slightly. “You losers were shouting in the cave when I got here and it was doing my head in. Anyway, what’s up?”

You hold your hands up so he can see the problem, and he observes with a frown.

“Didn’t know you were into that.” He comments casually, dodging a kick from you. “How’d you do that anyway?”

“I went and messed around with the stuff in the cave after I was told not to. Bruce can’t get them off.” You supply, and he scoffs

“Of course, B can’t.” He mutters. With a single movement; he grabs you by the waist and lifts you onto his work bench. He picks up your hands and examines the cuffs closely, turning them this way and that to get a good look. Humming along to the song, he searches through a few drill bits in the draw and finds one that looks like it’d fit into the lock on the cuffs. Without a word he sets to work, occasionally moving, or covering your hand his own as to not hurt them whilst he drills. Five minutes and one set of unescapable cuffs later, you’re free, and Jason’s packing away his drill and tools.

You’re rubbing your wrists gratefully when a thought occurs to you. “How’d you know it’d work?”

Jason grins. “He locked one of my hands to a radiator with the old ones a little while back. I drilled into that one and it worked, figured it’d work for this one since he still doesn’t know how I did it.”

You both wander down the hall, and your family is still fighting by the sounds coming from downstairs.

You both pause at the exposed stairwell that usually is hidden from sight.

“What do you say that we leave them there to fight for a bit and go get ice-cream?” Jason proposes quietly from behind you.

“I’d say that’s the best idea I’ve heard all day.”