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thesharktanksdriver · 5 months ago

Note

Magical girl y/n christmas canons?

Tinsel, magic and hot chocolate (platonic)

Sorry I released this after Christmas i have written so much that there’s a huge delay whenever I type on this on this

Christmas headcanons babyyyyyyyyy let’s goooooooo

Anyways Merry late Christmas

Masterlist

Christmas wasn’t much of an occasion for you before you were adopted by billionaire philanthropist playboy Bruce/Brucie Wayne

When you lived on your own Christmas was a luxury you could hardly afford to yourself

Maybe if you had a few crumpled dollars saved in the back of your pocket you’d splurge on a hot chocolate at a stand somewhere

Or you’d have a second cup of instant ramen

But besides that there wasn’t much to celebrate besides the fact that with Christmas came winter and that brought the cold

The old apartment you had didn’t have much heating on account of the busted windows, decaying door and fluctuating power

So winter had alway been a life or death scenario every year

The fear of going to sleep and simply not waking up had been to prevalent to enjoy winter

Snow and ice loosing their beauty in the face of the real potential of dying

You couldn’t appreciate the leisure of affording skates to glide across the ice, of dancing and sliding with family or friends at a rink

Couldn’t come to see the beauty in the snow glimmering like thousands of diamonds under sunlight, of laying in its soft cushioning to make snow angels or snowman’s

Before all of this you couldn’t

Not when you had to survive not only for your own sake

But for the sake of your universe at large

Because if you died the shadowmites would eat and destroy everything

Everyone

All the happy families that pass you by on the street as you adjusted a ratty falling apart hand woven scarf would die

As would the kind older vendor who gave soup out to all the unfortunate during the season

The man who dressed as Santa to bring joy despite the fact that the kids in the shitty parts of Gotham didn’t Believe anymore

A store clerk who slips an extra candy cane in your bag when your not looking as a small surprise

The hero’s of the city who worked perilously on the holidays

For the villains you somehow gained the affection of

Croc in the sewers who lets you sit down on your breaks by the heater you’d dug up from the trash, a gift from last year he treasures for both its practicality and sentimentality

Mr Penguin who gives you the extra food from his Christmas banquet you’re invited to, the way in which he may or may not have tried to insist you take a fur coat a customer “conveniently” left behind with the tag still attached

Ivy and Harley who make you scarves and mitts they knitted by hand, the fun brightly coloured yarn held together by love and dedication that helps you get through the winter’s harsh nights

Mr freeze who seems content this season to have some company in his loneliness if even for a few minutes, and though you can’t appreciate the cold like he can due to its threat to your well being you can appreciate the beauty of Gotham blanketed in glistening snow instead of the dreary smog

Riddler who gifts you a bright green wrapped present that is opened with a riddle, inside being a few books that be personally thought were good

Catwoman who ends up gifting you a large throw blanket with a kitschy picture of a cat that helped you survive the long cold nights

But this is all before your adoption

After, it’s much different

Decorating

Christmas at the Wayne’s and winter all together now is a much different experience

For one the decorations

The most you could do was a small little Charlie Brown tree, you’d decorate them with the little bootleg magical girl figure you got from thrift stores or dollarama’s

But somehow Alfred on the first day of December had the entire manor furnished

Garlands lining the walls with Christmas lights and ornaments hanging off them that shine in the warm lighting of chandeliers

Statues and figurines of Santa and his elves on tables, poinsettia’s in the decorative vases dotting the halls

A massive fresh cut Christmas tree hang up in the main living room, the fireplace lit nearby with stockings hung up on the mantelpiece

Each giant sock individualized in different colours and hand stitched with the occupants names

Bruce’s is midnight black, Dick’s is a light blue, Jason’s a traditional bright red, Tim’s a pretty Maroon , Damien’s a forest green, etc

Yours how hangs there as well, your favourite colour in velvet and your name etched in pretty cursive in sparkly thread

The scent of fresh baked cookies and gingerbread wafting from the kitchen whilst pine and cinnamon linger elsewhere

Eventually you’ll even help Alfred in decorating your room to watch with the Christmas decorations of the entire manor

Helping him hang crystal snowflakes that create rainbow infractions from sunlight streaming in from your window, little reindeer figures being added to your bedside

Maybe even a Christmas hat placed atop one of your plushies

Alfred, according to the rest of the manor residents goes ham for all holidays

Christmas, Halloween, Easter, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Father’s Day, you name it and he has an entire garages worth of decorations neatly stored away in boxes that he’ll somehow unpack overnight and have half the manor done within 5 hours

A feat truly unprecedented consider this place was a maze of hallways with at least 150 rooms that you’d counted so far

All of which were decorated in some sort of Christmas attire or theme

One was Santa themed, another Christmas tree themed, the one down the hall somewhere was frosty the snow man and a different one was filled with memorabilia from the old stop motion Rudolph films

Somehow them the British man was able to get his hands on some of the spare genuine figures used for that film (and the other ones from the sequels)

All of which now have a correlating Wayne manor resident

Alfred of course is Sam the snow man from that film, umbrella and bowler hat going all too well with him

Apparently when Jason was younger he begged for his to be Rudolph, a fact Bruce nor Dick ever let him live down

At some point during the first weeks of December the entire family gathers to decorate the tree

Quite honestly you thought you’d just hang out in your room while that happened since you had no idea what to really do

Your tiny “tree” didn’t have any traditional ornaments, only your figurines

But not even two minutes after the decorating supposedly started Damien basically kicked down your door with Jason and dragged you to join the tree decorating

Turns out no one can escape this fate

And they all refused to start without you, especially since this would “be your first year to witness the decoration war”

You quickly learn what that means when half the family is arguing on what colour scheme the tree should have

It’s basically an all out war while your sitting beside Damien who looks on

By the end of it all red and gold wins by a smidge

Mostly due to the fact Alfred got accidentally friendly fired by Dick and decided for everyone

You’d never seen Dick so afraid in your life, he looked ready to write his will in that moment

But once that’s finished the decorating actually starts

There’s no real strategy to how they do it

Tim tries to make a plan but it quickly falls through when the others began grabbing random bits and bobbles to hang on the tree

Red and gold balls of glass, old and delicate

Other ornaments of stuffed bears, cups of hot cocoa, a plate of cookies and more

You gravitate mostly towards these ones, the unique ornaments you’d used to see in store displays but could never afford

Ones you’d wish to have but could never hold

The others seem to catch on to this quickly, since they basically give you the box holding them all and hoisting you up to decorate the high points of the tree you couldn’t reach

This almost becomes an argument too when Dick complains that Jason is hogging you

Damien steps in immediately after literally swooping down from nowhere with a grappling hook to take you and bring you to the other side of the tree

All the while stating that once more he’s your favourite sibling

You can’t say he’s wrong when he objectively isn’t

Along with the fact he looks so genuinely happy over the fact

Once the tree is finished all that’s left is the topper

The crowning moment of the tree

With how everyone is looking to you your not surprised when Alfred hands you the crowning piece

They had several out while debating the Christmas tree and one stood out to you

It wasn’t the traditional star, it was a pretty angel

With white feathered wings and flowing brown hair atop a red velvet dress lined in gold

She just stood out to you from the bunch, of course this house full of detectives would notice you gazing at her for 20 minutes admiring the detail

Bruce is the one who lifts you up to place the angel

The only one so far who’d yet to help you reach the top

His hold gentle and stable

Smiling up at you urging you that it’s all alright

That you get to place the most important piece

You can’t help but feel a bit hesitant with all the attention on you on such an important moment

You’d never done something this before

Not for real anyways

You didn’t think topping your dinky tree with the only good figure you had could count

But now your crowning a real Christmas tree

With your family, all of whom look up at you cheering you on

It feels so overwhelmingly nice and cozy

You’d never thought you’d feel this during the season you’d dread

But here you are, lifted to reach atop a giant tree and placing an angel atop it all to look after you all until winter goes

Like the angel you feel the responsibility to drive out all evil forces to protect those in this mansion

The family who cheer loudly when you place her at the top and practically tackle you in a hug when your put back down on the wooden floor

As everyone celebrates you can’t help but look atop the tree

The angel looking down at you whilst Rigel slumbers atop your shoulder

Only being brought back when his nose nudges your cheek, turning your attention to your group of rowdy brothers who beckon you for yet another Christmas activity

Christmas baking

Once upon a time ago many years back you were able to afford a gingerbread house

It was after a few weeks of scrounging for money in wherever you could find it

Spare quarters and loose pennies making up the total of 15 dollars you’d decided to splurge on the cookie house

It didn’t end up looking good but didn’t mind at all, not when you’d feasted on the spare gumdrops that were hard and sour

Or the too sweet icing in a small plastic packet

On Christmas Day you’d eaten the house itself as your gift that year

Dividing it into small pieces to save for later as your future meals and snacks for patrols

Along with sectioning out some for Rigel who insisted you take care of yourself before them

This year though at Wayne manor baking Christmas goods is much less of a luxury and more a constant during the Christmas season

Alfred, you’ve quickly come to learn even before being adopted, was a baking god

That man could bake things you’d think would be served up to the gods on an alter

From his mouth watering cookies to his baked Alaska that nearly made you cry

His skills were no match

And during Christmas he apparently went crazy with baking

Chocolate chip Cookies galore, gingerbread made by hand, candycanes someone made by hand despite the long procedural process of kneading the sugar, sugar cookies with hand made icing that he piped into snowflakes and mini versions of the batfamily

The work he did was no joke

As was his “no one baking but me” policy after everyone else in the family somehow almost set the kitchen on fire

Yeah everyone else in the family was banned after trying to help him one year

Wayne manor nearly burnt down and now only your allowed there with him

Though you guessed that may have also been because he wanted to spend time with you

Something you can’t fault him for since you also like spending time with him as well

Since your new to baking Alfred is a guiding gentle hand

He shows you how to measure out ingredients correctly

Kneed the dough just enough

Pipe icing on cookies

Even let’s you nibble on the spare cookie dough and chocolate chips

Something he makes you keep a secret lest the others in the house get jealous

Throughout all the baking Alfred talks with you about all types of things

He asks you about your Christmases before this

Talks about being in MI6 and raising Bruce

Quietly probes you for Christmas gifts you’d like

Let’s Rigel perch around his shoulders and around his neck like a scarf

It’s all heartwarming and cozy

Especially as he seems so genuinely happy that this year you get to experience a proper Christmas

Not alone in a dingy apartment

But instead surrounded by friends and family

He seems all too proud when your both done with baking and made delectable sweet treats

He seems even more proud when the extra you made end up in containers that you say you’ll hand out to some friends

Thankfully he doesn’t ask when later that night you go out on patrol with a little basket and Christmas cards

He just tells you that if needed he’ll make more

It seems even villains can’t resist his cooking

Especially not with how Croc gobbles down the entire container or how Harley begs for the recipe

Riddler not one for chocolate chip cookies but enjoys the ginger snaps and shortbread cookies you bring instead

Mr.Freeze who quietly thanks you for the sugar cookies made to look like nutcrackers and ballerinas, something he said to you once before that Nora loved during the season

Two face and Harvey seem nostalgic, it makes sense considering Harvey’s friendship with Bruce

He’s been over at Christmas before his decent

When he asks how you have the recipe you just say that an old man asked you to deliver them to him

For the first time in the season you see him melt ever so slightly

He doesn’t need to say thank you, not with how he pats your head and tells you to stay warm

When you go off he hands you one of the cookies

Something you can’t help but smile gleefully at

Later that night you make sure to make extra for the next delivery along with little gingerbread men

All of which are decorated to look like the receivers of the delivery

Ice skating

You’d never learned to skate mostly because you could never afford skates

Public rinks were open during the winter in certain part of Gotham, typically the nicer areas though near crime alley you’d seen a few smaller opens opened up for kids

Though you’d never had the time to go to one

Sure, you could glide across the ice without the needed equipment but it wouldn’t be as fun. And sure, you could technically use your transformation powers to make yourself a pair of skates

But that would be a waste of your limited powers for something so trivial

And it was a skill not typically needed, it’s not like you were fighting Mr freeze on a month to month basis

So you bite your tongue and would continue on when seeing a rink on your way back to your old apartment

Eyes lingering on the families teaching their young ones to skate

To the pretty ice skater dancing as if she were a ballerina

To the group of friends off to the side enjoying a cup of hot cocoa from a small stand nearby

Still too overpriced for you to afford nor enjoy without risk of not affording rent let alone heating

The minute Dick learned this he was already off taking you to a sports supply store and having you try more skates than you’d known existed

From more heavy duty to sleek and petite

He has you try them on

Finding whichever was more comfortable to your feet before you finally settled on a pair

But even after that the shopping wasn’t done

He bought pretty ribbons to replace the laces, skate guards and blade covers

And then off you were suddenly at a rink with him guiding you along the ice

Quite honestly the spectacle of people watching the two of you and awing at the scene is a tad bit embarrassing

But Dicks genuine enthusiasm makes up for it

Though it doesn’t make up for the fact that you’ll be seeing his ass picks later on

Because god, why does he have to give them more fuel to the fire

You’d tried multiple times to get him to stop bending down and hunching over

But he seems to occupied in teaching you to notice the rabid clicks of pictures being taken behind him

Once you get a slow hand of it he takes your gloved hand and lets you take the reigns

Letting you chart the course across the ice

Past equally happy families that have the same smile that he does

Pride gleaming in it like a unyielding fire

Apparently back when he was apart of the circus he sucked at skating he admits

He could do acrobats 20 feet in the air just fine but had two left feet when it came to the ice

His parents never got frustrated though, neither did Bruce

But they one day said that he’d get it if he put his heart into trying again and again each winter

And that he’d be good enough to one day teach someone else as well

He remarks with a smile that it seems they were right

He says this all the while he stared into the overpriced hot chocolate with whip cream

Little green and red sprinkles in his as well as your own cup

Silently you smile and take his hand to go out on the ice once more when he’s finished his drink

You think that Mr and Mrs Grayson would be proud of him

Though you don’t need to say that aloud when his smile says it all

(Unfortunately you we’re right about the ass shots flooding your feed, though it was also mixed with people gushing over how adorable the scene was and how cute you are. You don’t open social media for the next couple of days for various reasons, your bashful expression is poked at by Damien who says he can hunt down the users if you’d like)

Gift shopping

Buying gifts for others was yet another luxury you couldn’t typically afford

So you used to scavenge for things

The heater for croc is a good example

As are the pots you then hand painted for Ivy and Harley

This year though it’s a bit overwhelming as Bruce takes you shopping for gifts

Store after store

His obsidian credit card that he pulled out for nearly everything you so much as dare to look at for over 5 seconds

The guilt that he’s spending his money for you

So far you’d picked out good gifts for everyone else

Even going as far to get some for Titus, your….non law-abiding citizen friends and some for the justice league

But you were still unused to it all without looking at the price tag

Something Bruce all but basically banned you to do and just said to put anything in the cart

And by Anthony he meant anything

You were staring too long at the car displayed in the mall and he nearly took you to a car dealership to buy you one

And then went on about customizing it for your or that persons taste

You sure anyone would like Ferrari but your not quite sure how you’d explain buying one to the receiver

Throughout it all Bruce looks more content than you’d thought he’d be when your spending his money

Sure, he’s a billionaire but typically they like to save and horde money, not freely spend it n frivolous things like this

But it seems Bruce had been the outlier

Maybe he’s always been

You’d gotten to Gotham academy because of his scholarship programs before he knew your existence

Certain parts of Gotham were in better state due to the Wayne corporations work and job listings

The Martha and Thomas Wayne fundraiser each year raised millions in charity

It’s still all so weird

But you have a small moment of clarity when entering a small anime store

Bruce chats up the worker at the counter, pulling out his Brucie persona

And he lets you reign free to buy stuff

You browse the figures, even finding a few you’d like for yourself that your almost 100% sure he’s gonna ask the owner to hold and have Alfred pick up later

But then you get to the dvds section

And in the bottom shelf you find old VHS’s

Your finger grazes across their spines alphabetically

And then it stops on a pretty pink one

It’s old and slightly faded

But you know this one by heart

This was one of your old sailor moon’s VHS’s, the one that you played so much that it eventually stopped working

The box was the only thing left of the thing, there was no use in keeping a messed of tape

So you had to sadly throw it out

The memories flood back of that tape

The episodes you know by heart

The line delivery (a male voice mocks it and brings you to tears)

The cheesy voice acting (something a female voice complained about)

The night spent alone watching it before Rigel came along (the sense of feeling of overwhelming loneliness waiting for someone to come back)

Huh? Your reminded of something?

Your parents, you forgot you even had those at one point

The cold seeps through an broken window past the flimsy sheer curtains

You hear them moving stuff, muttering to themselves quietly as you sit in front of the old box tv

Their voices muffled and static, grating your eardrums in fuzziness

You hum along to moonlight densetsu as sailor moon appears on screen

When she strikes her pose you do so as well, mirroring the action with your pudgy hands

A thump alerts you away from the screen

Two blurred figures, your parents stand by the door

Bags beside them filled to the brim

“We’re going to get groceries, you now how to use the stove” to your 5 year old mind this was normal

You didn’t know someone your age shouldn’t be left alone for hours on end

Shouldn’t be able to use the stove

Shouldn’t look to the tv as your only friend and mentor in keeping you alive

It was sailor moon who taught you to show kindness to others

Mew mew showed you to protect your home

Sakura told you to love others no matter their appearance or gender

Utena proved girls could fight and be just as strong as men

It was Honoka and Nagisa from pretty cure who taught you courage

It was never your parents, it was the reruns and old VHS’s you watched until they couldn’t play anymore and you knew the episodes by heart

You remember those shows so clearly, each episode and line delivery

And yet you couldn’t remember your mom or dad besides the one memory

They were so insignificant in the few years of your life they’d been in

And it’s that night watching sailor moon they left you

Abandoned you in a ratty apartment that they were gonna be kicked out of for not paying their bills

Left you to watch your only good facet in your life

Magical girls

Except now you imagine the memory differently

Your watching your sailor moon but there’s no shuffling in the background

Not the sound of them preparing to leave

Just silence before you feel a presence beside you

Turning your head you see Bruce, sitting beside you

Though now instead of kneeling on the floor your in the private theatre in a comfortable leather chair

The night he surprised you with getting your favourite series to play in it

And even if he didn’t understand the plot or what was going on he watched with a smile

He watched beside you, not once leaving your side

You pick up the old vhs with a nostalgic smile, thumb trailing down the back to read the episode list

The ones you remember by heart

Like by line

You put it back knowing somehow it would end up in your stocking this year

You wonder if the rest of the family would enjoy watching as well even without any context to the show

playing in snow

You used to hate the snow, and ice and all things cold except for Mr freeze and the cheap Dairy Queen Sunday’s you bought in the summer to cool down

But besides that you couldn’t stand it

You could play in the snow without risk of getting sick

Your winter boots already holes and your mitts were falling apart as it was

If you made snow angels or made snowballs you’d be left wet and cold

And there was nothing at the apartment to really dry you

Unless you wanted to waste Rigels magic to do so

And that wasn’t an option when every night you were breaking a rib or snapping your arm again

It seemed during Christmas as well Shadowmites got worse

For the season of giving and love there sure was a lot of hated that they feed off of

And unfortunately you were at the brunt end of it all

They gifted you broken bones and bloody scratches

So if others considered you a Scrooge for not liking the season you had every reason as to why

Not to mention by the end of your fights you were freezing and drenched

An even worse combination when bleeding and stumbling on a broken foot

Ba humbug

So when Jason takes you to go tobogganing your less amused than an average kid should be

To be fair your not exactly and “average kid” with the whole magical girl powers and all

But still, he had expected a bit more enthusiasm and less confusion

Safe to say Jason is a bit like Dick realizing you never learned to skate

Though unlike Dick, Jason can acclimate as to why

Growing up in crime alley was a lot like your own childhood

But back then he had friends, other kids to play with in the snow

He knew what fun it could bring because of that but you didn’t

And he decides to try and fix that

So throwing you your snow boots and zipping up his coat he all but almost drags you out the manor

A sled in hand while Rigel curls up around you like a scarf

His boots thumping through the snow creating satisfying crunches

Wayne manor’s grounds were huge, and unknown to you was that it also had a hill

Like a proper hill hidden behind dead shrubbery and snow covered trees

Something Jason shows off with a proud smile

He sets up the sled as you admire the view

It looks more like something from one of those old 2 million dollar paintings kept in a private collection away from the public

You see Gotham dusted in snow, refracting light creating a diamond-like sheen across the city

Snow falling around framing the entire world

It’s pretty in a way you handy really seen before now took a moment to enjoy

“Hey! Hop on”

Turning around you see Jason on the sled patting the spot in front of him

With a small nod you slid into the spot, settled comfortably between his legs as he wretched his arms past you to grab the reigns

“Ready?”

His eyes shine and you see the faintest tinge of green mixed in blue

You nod grabbing the reigns as well

He smiles and scoots the sleigh to the edge

Letting gravity do the rest

The sleigh starts its descent down the hill, gliding across the snow picking up speed

It’s a bit bumpy

A bit scary

But you hear Jason yell in excitement and your voice joins his in symphony

Before crashing down to the bottom and falling off the sled into the snow nearby with a audible thump

Almost immediately your older brother searches but finds you laying face up in the snow with a smile

A laugh tumbling out your mouth all the while Rigel chitters in a similar manner

Jason flops down beside you

From the hill when you go back down again you see both his and your snow angels side by side

Gift wrapping

You couldn’t wrap for shit, that is something you knew very well when one year you tried

Keyword tried

To wrap up a present for Rigel with scraps of wrapping paper you found in a garbage somewhere

It looked more like a Picasso painting of a wrapped present than a present itself

But unlike wrapping presents you could tie bows

Something Tim couldn’t do

You’d seen him try for 30 minutes and it looked….well it looked bad

It looked like a snake strangled itself to death

Or a noose trying to hang itself

Plane and simple its atrocious

But combining your skills together you both are actually competent

So the two of you decided to team up to create the wrapping league

Even if said league was more like a duo than anything

And was less about end of the world scenarios and moreso just about competently wrapping gifts

But to be honest it’s just fun hanging out with Tim

He’s just someone who knows just about everything due to unlimited internet access

Which could be for better or the worst

But that’s either which way

Tim knows all the shows you talk about no matter how obscure

Apparently when Bruce was researching you Tim had convinced him watching all seasons of sailor moon was for research purposes

As was watching nearly half of all the pretty cure series

And madoka magica

And mew mew

And- you get the point

How he did this? Being delirious to the point Bruce just agreed to anything he wanted so long as he promised to sleep for a good 12 hours

And so for a week straight the home Wayne theatre was his for the taking

For “research” though to anyone who looked in it was mostly definitely for his own viewing

But because of that no matter what show you mention he has watched it

There’s no awkward explaining of the plot

Nor the fact midway through you’d typically stop since most by then would just awkwardly laugh and say they’ll check it out which was code word for “haha no that show sounds weird as shit and I won’t touch it with a 20 foot stick and your weird too stop talking already”

Tim has seen it already and passionately talk to you about it for half an hour straight with no breaks between either of you

Tim is unabashed in his interests

Whether that be 16th century poetry or the most obscure damn show on the internet he picked up for funsies

Tim can and will talk about anything

Andrew with passion too

There’s no awkwardness when you speak to him

It’s just a genuine conversation and interaction

He talks about his favourite episode and characters

His most hated

Favourite scenes or fights

Fan Theories and his own

It feels validating

Because you know he isn’t judging you

He’s just genuine

That’s a lot more than any present you wrap

Your not sure if he knows that though

By the time either of you have wrapped the presents neither of you know that partway in Alfred began to secretly wrap to give you both more time to talk

Opening presents

Christmas morning used to be a morning of quiet

You’d wake up with Rigel and make yourself a small meal and enjoy the day mostly relaxing or preparing for the night when you’d inevitably go out to kill Shadowmites

This years Christmas morning is very different though

Your awoken at 8 on the dot in the morning by Damien who’s standing at your bedside in what looked to be a hand knit sweater

Before you have time to wake up (especially since last night was long as hell) you have a similar sweater shoved in your face

It’s your favourite colour much like the stocking Alfred hand made

So it’s safe to assume he somehow had the time to knit this as well

The shimmery white yarn creating intricate patterns of snowflakes and bunnies frolicking in the snow

Still clad in pyjamas and throwing on the sweater Damien all but drags you from your room and through the long hallways

Feet only clad in socks slapping against the wooden floor

Exhaustion slowly leaving you when your handed a cup of hot chocolate by Alfred

And seeing the absolute mountain of presents stacked under the tree

It’s an mind blowing amount (at least to you)

A sea of patterned paper and bows gleaming under the chandelier light

Stockings stuffed to the brink above a already lit fire

Alfred waiting expectantly on a cushioned chair, old eyes lighting up when seeing the sweater your wearing

By now the others slowly start to trickle in

Bruce looking equally as tired as you in a silk robe topped off with a Christmas hat with a fake beard

Jason not too far behind pushing Dick and Tim out the way

Dick and Tim nearly eating shit on the carpeting because of Jason

Everyone wearing similar sweaters

During the ordeal of opening presents you hand out the ones you’d bought for everyone

A certain sense of satisfaction and nervousness flooding you as you watch their reactions

You’d gotten them many gifts for each but there was one main gift for each you’d spent some time finding (or in one case working on)

Somehow you’d gotten a first edition copy of Moby dick for Jason which resulted in your being thrown in the air and given a back breaking hug

For Dick you scrounged up old “flying Graysons” circus posters at a few vintage stores, somehow you’d gotten another reaction like Jason

In which you nearly ended up air-bound if not for Damien

Speaking of which, for Damien you called in a favour from Klarion for a duel gift to get a rare sapphire encrusted sword Al apparently lost a millennia ago

Apparently it was in some desert beneath 300 feet of sand

Tim got a vintage camera he’d been eyeing for a long time but hadn’t been able to find

For Bruce instead of buying him something you opted to make him something instead

Compared to some of the other gifts it’s simple but you made him a scrapbook with the help of Alfred

It complied everything from his adoption of Dick to you

Every page was themed and included things like dried flowers to old tickets and stickers according to theming

It’s a behemoth of a book

Practically took up 3 months of work when not busy with school or patrols or when Bruce wasn’t around

But it ends up being perhaps the most heartfelt gift of them all

Bruce hugs you?

It’s a weird thing, especially when you swear you almost see him cry

He holds you close to his heart

Alfred insisted you didn’t get him anything but you end up with a similarly handmade gift in the form of recipes written on parchment and bound together in a beautiful ribbon

When asked you simply say you got it from a friend, specifically Mrs.C

And then it comes time for your own presents

And it’s a bit overwhelming

So many boxes wrapped in elegant paper addressed to you

All tied together with pretty bows and streamers

Box after box is handed to you as Damien sits by your side

You’d haven’t even opened any yet and everyone is fighting amongst one another on who’s you should open first

When all of a sudden Damien reveals you’d already opened one

Much to everyone and your own confusion

Except for Alfred who smiles alongside the Al Ghul

Damien points to your sweater

And it sets in for everyone

Turns out he made the Christmas sweater

Not Alfred

When the butler was beginning work on yours Damien insisted he wanted to make it for you

So Alfred obliged and taught him how to knit through the past couple months and make the design

It explains the bunny’s on the sweater

Alongside why he one day came to you holding up several shades of yarn and asked which was your favourite before scurrying off somewhere

After that more presents are opened

Damien smirking and glaring with pride as Tim, Jason and Dick hand you more presents

Unsurprisingly a lot of it is magical girl based merchandise

Though it’s also mixed with a plethora of things like clothes, plushes, books and even some jewelry

From under the tree you even get gifts from a few justice league members

And you some from a few villains as well that Bruce explained stopped him last night and demanded be given to you since you were off duty this Christmas

Though by how you keep repeat rubbing your eyes it seems less like it

“You alright there?” Dick asks as he hands you another present from under the tree, another figurine to add to your growing collection

“Yeah, I’m really tired from last night” you explain rubbing the back of your neck making the rest of the family look at you in confusion

Jason speaks up first, “but you weren’t on patrol last night? We all told you to take Christmas off”

“I wasn’t on patrol…or at least a traditional one” you explain pulling up your phone, it was still weird getting used to this stupid thing. Too many apps and buttons for your taste.

“What exactly does that mean sister?” Damien prodded as you pulled up a picture on your phone.

Holding your phone up the rest of the family goes silent, there in picture form is you in a magical angel ensemble with a halo wings and all but it’s where you are that’s the most interesting. In the background of the picture is a bunch of reindeer attached to the vehicle you were in, the further most deer emanating a red light from its nose that helps light the way through the snow raining down from the heavens as the rest navigate overtop Paris and the Eiffel Tower.

The silence is broken when everyone but an unsurprised Alfred at the top of their lungs begin demanding answers to an obvious question.

????

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the enormous house not a peep was spoken not even a mouse

The family was out all but you, a little girl tucked asleep in her room

But by the stroke of midnight something a tap tap tap rattled you from your sleep

And by your window there stood a man on his sleigh

20 feet up in the air because your room was on the second story floor

A jolly man in red, the one and only Santa Claus tapped at your window and-

Yeah…enough with the rhyming stuff this is getting difficult

So yeah, last night imagine your surprise when you woke up to find Santa tapping on the glass of your window

The jolly iconic man in white and red waving you over to open it

When Santa entered through the window he sat down and asked for you help

Apparently the shadowmites were something even he couldn’t exactly deal with

And when he’s dealing with delivering presents it’s not exactly nice being knawed on by shadow creatures

So he implored your help to make sure Christmas went smoothly this year

And how could you say not to an offer like that

So transforming into your magical outfit you decided what you’d do for your theme

And picked an angel, specifically a snow angel based on the snow angels you’d made with Jason and the angel atop the Christmas tree

Because you’d be looking over everyone just as she did

And so you hopped on Santa’s sleigh and got to work with him delivering presents

Quite honestly delivering presents with St.Nick is quite a fun job

He’s warm and friendly, answering your questions and laughing with glee when explaining stories to you

The reindeer are equally friendly

On the occasionally breaks taken for cookies and milk you get to pet them

Rudolph affectionately booping his nose against your own or Cupid having you readjust her bows attacked to her antlers

A feat according to Santa was something few were allowed to do

And Rigel who sat in Santa’s shoulder

The two talking like old friends

Which implied that Santa was some sort of godly being like him

Which…honestly tracks of your honest

How else would he be able to do this in a single night?

Let alone the fact he had a magical bag containing all his gifts and letters

Along with a list that magically tells him if someone was good or bad within the span of a year

So yeah, safe to assume he’s some sort of god

Maybe like Alfred

Off into the night sky you go, taking a seat beside the gift giving man as he handed you his list to read aloud

A check mark beside a name signifying if they were good and a X for if they were bad

Most names you didn’t recognize as you expected

But a few make you pause

And makes you pull out from the magical bag beside you the gifts you’d been holding for said somebodies

Apparently the sack contained Santa’s gifts and the gifts of anyone during Christmas

Yours included

And Santa just laughs in joy when you ask if you could deliver your own presents as well

John Constantine nearly choked on his cigarette when you appeared at the house of mystery with Santa in tow

The living house shifting around the two of you as you climbed down the chimney with your gift in hand

He can only take it wordlessly before you and Santa climb back out like nothing happened, the house of mystery even creating bricks for proper footing on the way out

For the house you also leave a gift in the form of a pretty wreath for the door

A shudder waves back and forth as you both fly away

Klarion in his own personal realm before you and Santa came crashing in politely with a knock on an inter dimensional door

Because of you this year he somehow worked his way onto the good list

The bottom if the good list but still on it regardless

And thus got more than a chunk of coal for his efforts from Santa

Plus your gift to him of the limited edition 2016 discord and fluttershy figure

Later on in the night when you both fly past Clark he does a double take and seems like if he was Wondering if he was hallucinating

In Atlantis you leave a gift for Arthur under a Christmas tree shaped out of coral

Though themyscira doesn’t exactly celebrate you and Santa do leave a gift for Diana and some of the Amazonians

In Gotham beneath a small Charlie Brown Christmas tree you leave to Waylon a new heater plus Santa’s gift of a heated blanket

You leave something for Harley and Ivy plus some new toys for bud and Lou beneath their freshly grown Christmas tree

Santa even takes you off the planet to do a tradition of his that he did ever year

Aka giving coal to some guy called darkseid

He sounded vaguely familiar but besides Gotham villains you didn’t pay attention beyond that

Apparently he’s at the top of the bad list each year

You wait on the sleigh for when he delivers the coal

But watch as laser beams try to shoot you both down as Santa laughs at whoever shoots them

Even when the beams twist and turn and try to keep up before eventually stopping

But it’s eventually through most of the night that you realize something

There were barely any Shadowmites at all

At least not enough for Santa to be worried about and employ your help with

So it brings up the question, why were you brought on to help this year

And it’s a question the old man answers quite easily as you both sail through to the North Pole for a small pit stop

“Well young lady I thought I’d give you a bit more of different type of gift this year” the jolly old man explains rubbing his long white beard tangled with a few candycanes and cookie crumbs. His grin is unrivaled as is his moustache that’s curled like an old cartoon character, giving him a fun air of whimsy.

“What do you mean?” You end up asking, looking to him in confusion

He smiles, digging out his magic bag some letters that he hands to you. Each are from a different sender but almost all from Gotham, or surrounding area’s. When you read them you begin to understand. Each are addressed to Santa from numerous different people, some are kids, some adults, but all ask for one thing this Christmas, and it’s that you have an amazing Christmas this year. In each letter they detail how you saved them or helped them in some capacity, and that this year instead of a gift for themselves they wanted to give you something.

But that isn’t all, more letters begin to pour out the bag as the sleigh glides atop the Aurora borealis. More and more letters than you could count on your own, all detailing that they wanted you to have a merry Christmas. they fly past but you hear their contents as they fall into the green glow of the aurora which after a moment create phantom memories of the writers form, shimmery wistful versions of them made of greens and purples reading out their letters.

“Don’t think that I didn’t notice that every year you worked hard on Christmas just as I did” the old man tuts, patting your head before going back to guiding his reindeer “though the difference between you and me was Christmas spirit. Though, I can’t blame you for not having it considering circumstance. But year after year of those letters asking for you to have a good Christmas as their gift, and there wasn’t much I could give to do that. So what better to do than give you something a bit different instead? An experience can still be a gift can it not? Especially when it gives you the Christmas spirit you long missed out on”

What he says makes you pause, year after year implies that ever since you began being a magical girl he’d gotten letters asking for this one Christmas wish. And it was yearly that others asked for you to be happy during this holiday, you of all people.

You’d never really understood Christmas until that moment, and it hits you all at once

When you dry your tears into the soft red velvet of Santa’s coat he doesn’t say anything, he just holds you close saying that “you of all people on my list deserves a very merry Christmas ever year my dear”

“And that’s how I ended up exchanging recipes with Mrs claus and ended playing black jack with krampus” you explain showing more photos to your increasingly mortified family

“Well…I….you know what I don’t really know what to say to this” Bruce mutters completely stumped as the others don’t look like their faring any better

If they thought this was weird your not sure how your gonna explain meeting the personification of dreams named Morpheus and also befriending him

But maybe that was a bombshell for another time

#magical girl y/n #dc x reader #platonic #dc #batman x reader #dick grayson x reader #bruce wayne x reader #Tim Drake x reader #jason todd x reader #Damien Wayne X reader #alfred pennyworth #jason todd #red hood x reader #red hood #Tim Drake #nightwing x reader #Nightwing #damien wayne #bruce wayne

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glamrockmike · 2 months ago

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ugh. one second. an analysis just occurred to me that’s fucking me up

intensely unapologetic fnaf: security breach glazing, you have been warned

when i think about it, security breach really is one of the mascot horror games that sticks with me and i think fnaf fans the most regardless of love/hate, good or bad. i’ve mentioned it before but it’s such a good game about what it feels like being a kid. it’s being lost in a department store. it’s pseudo-severance. it’s alice in wonderland.

you play as gregory. you’re young but not too young to not be disillusioned and you’re too young to be respected, believed, or trusted by adults.

you are small and you look weak and you are being carefully hunted by something so much bigger than you that takes the form of what look like fairy-tale monsters, giant talking animals emblazoned with bright neon colors (don’t touch!). you are told through the game’s environment that these monsters are the most appealing thing to children like you, that a kid could want nothing more than to be here with them in this place.

never mind that you know there’s something else to this place. you don’t want this. you want to have a home, you want to be safe, and you want to be loved. you want to LEAVE. you guess you could want this place and everybody tells you you do, but you really don’t.

you’re protected by freddy. freddy, who looks so much like the other monsters, who is one of them. freddy behaves like a grown-up. he supervises you, he questions you, he even distrusts you at times. he worries and fusses over you. he’s literally blind to the peril you’re actually in. when his friends bare teeth and claws at you, he tells you that they are his friends and would never. but you have to be unsure whether or not they would, and even if they are really his friends. does freddy even think that these things are his friends? you don’t know. he doesn’t know. if he thinks about it too long he loses his mind.

every bad guy is an adult. every good guy is not. you run from vanessa, a trusted adult, because you know that’s an oxymoron. you instinctively hide from chica the first time you see her, because robot or not, she is one of them. every adult is trying to do what they think is best for you. every adult promises that they want to help you. that they have your best interest in mind and at heart. you can’t believe any of them even if you want it badly to be true. you take freddy with you because he’s like you.

all of this place wants you to stay where you are not welcome and there are bad sounds and smells and lights. this place reeks of bad things that happened to kids like you, and the adults who wanted it to happen. it doesn’t matter that only some of them wanted it, all of them let it happen. whether this is really about you anymore, you don’t know, but you stay anyway in case you are wanted. you want to be wanted.

you want to leave. it’s not time to go yet. everything you do happens carefully on a schedule. you are counting down the hours. you are finally almost there. you are there. when you get there, to the end and to the exit, dragging your adult with you, you have no choice but to stay longer, because an adult says you have to.

when you break their control over your actions you are punished for your agency. each time you smash, break, wreck the pretty things, you must fight your way out of hell. places that would be a sanctuary to a fun-loving kid like you turn into a cage, jungle gyms turn into prison bars, a laser-tag arena turns into a labyrinth complete with minotaur. you dropped your ball of yarn.

then you finally manage to get out, under the thumb of nothing and nobody. you free the princess. she’s a little girl too, but she looked like an adult. did she ever live for herself either? you don’t think she ever got the chance.

you want to make sure you get the chance.

you play as gregory. you are young, not too young and not too old, and you are small.

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf security breach #fnaf sb #gregory fnaf #fnaf gregory #glamrock freddy fnaf #security breach #vanessa afton #fnaf ggy #fnaf glamrock animatronics #fnaf glamrock freddy #fnaf analysis #fnaf fandom #fnaf ruin #ohhh did i cook did i i cook #i have more to say about this in the morning i’m tired and eepy

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moosesarecute · 6 months ago

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December 17th

December Masterlist

Masterlist

Her day had gone to exploring her home. She had been all over trying to find something that might restart her memory, but she couldn’t.

The toys she played with as a child, the kitchen she and her mother baked in and the library where she spent most of her time. None of them gave her any clues of her life before.

It gave Annette an uneasy feeling.

She felt alone and scared. The people who called themselves her family were nice enough, but she couldn’t trust them completely yet.

She and Cathrine, her mother, had been talking the entire day. She had been stroking Annette’s hair and told them about their life. She spoke about how Annette was adopted. That while it was usual for fae to struggle getting children, Cathrine and Bru just couldn’t live without a child.

When she was first born and sent to an orphanage, it didn’t take long before they found her and knew she was the one. Cathrine cried talking about it.

Her mother at least cared about her, Annette concluded with. Nothing to be worried about with her. The rest of her family had kept a bigger distance. Cathrine said it was to not overwhelm her.

When night arrived, Cathrine tucked Annette into bed. She told her to make sure she stayed worm and gave her some of her medicine. It tasted just as bad as before, but she got it down.

However, when Cathrine left, Annette didn’t feel like sleeping.

She quietly stood up from the bed and started to explore her room a little more. She looked at the books and toys and yarn, but she felt no connection to it. She found more of her stuff in boxes stored under her bed. She went through each and every one-off them, but didn’t find anything particularly interesting until the last box.

It had a backpack in it. It looked well made and sturdy. But it also looked like it had been used a lot. Maybe this was the backpack she used when she last was out on her adventures? She knew it was hers. She didn’t know why, but she just knew it.

She opened the backpack and found many bottles of red liquid and a pile of paper. She picked of the papers first. One piece of paper was folded around the others. She read it first:

Winterberry juice for memory loss. Drink as much as you can every day.

And some reading for the journey. Hope you find what you need in these letters.

Good luck,

Nick

Annette decided to drink the juice. It tasted amazing. Both sweet and tangy from the berry. She drank some of it and then picked up the rest of the pile of papers. She picked up the first one. It was covered in tearstains, but other than that it was beautiful. The handwriting was precise and carefully done. Annette started reading.

My dearest Y/N,

It’s been over three years. This is the third December without you, and it haven’t become easier.

Rhys and Cass are forcing me to go to therapy. My therapist, Jonathan, suggested I write you letters, so that’s what I’m doing.

You have missed so much, my light. Both Rhys and Cass have found their mates. Their names are Feyre and Nesta. They are sisters and used to be human, but that’s a story too long for letters. I promise I’ll explain all to you when if you come back to me. Feyre was the girl that saved all of Prythian from Amarantha. Rhys made her his High Lady and they even have a son, Nyx. And Nesta and some of her friends have become Valkyries. She and Cassian are always at each other’s throats, but they love each other. You would have loved them too, I’m sure of it.

Mor and Amren have also found their loves. Which means I’m constantly surrounded by couples.

I’m happy for them, I truly am, but I can’t help but feel like it’s a little unfair. Why do we have to be apart?

I miss you, my love. I honestly feel lost in this world without you. I’ve been counting days since you disappeared, and each day feels heavier on my heart.

The shadows also miss you. They have never been as poorly behaved as now. Some days I wake up from them screaming to get you back, other days they refuse to listen or talk to me.

All our memories together are what keeps me going, but I’m not sure how much longer I’ll last in this life without you. I need your soft smiles and warm embrace to get me through this. I know I won’t, but deep down I still have hope that I’ll be able to hold you once again. Hold you, and never let go.

I love you, Y/N. I have loved you all my life and I will keep loving you till the day my soul no longer exists.

x Your Shadow

The first thing Annette noticed was that she really wanted to know what happened to Y/N and who her shadow was. The second thing was that she felt sort of connected to the names. Rhys, Cassian, Mor and Amren felt like names she knew. Feyre and Nesta, she didn’t feel connected to, but from the way they were written about in the letters, she knew that they were kind.

Annette wasted no time picking up the next letter It was also covered in tearstains. It seemed like most of them were.

My dearest Y/N,

Jo asked me today to write about what our life would be like.

And even though I did like he asked, it only brought out painful emotions. I hate having to imagine this. I want it to be true. To be our real life.

I wanted us to buy a house. A house where we can make our own home. So that we can choose everything ourselves.

I wanted us to have a family. We never spoke about kids. Both of us knew that a war was coming and that we would need to go through a lifetime of terror before we could bring babes into this world.

I want us to fly together. Fly to work, fly to family dinner, fly as exercise, fly as fun. Flying have always been when I’ve felt the freest and I know you feel similar, but without you beside me, it feels wrong. So wrong. I have multiple times thrown up from flying without you.

I want us to be happy.

I want us to fight, and argue, and laugh, and cry, and smile. I want it all.

Please come back to me.

x Your Shadow

My dearest Y/N

I think therapy is helping a little.

I thought about you yesterday without crying. Do you remember our first dance? Not our first as a couple, but our first one ever?

Sneaking around in the woods behind Windhaven and dancing to the song from the shadows swirling around us. Our feet making the snow crunch beneath us.

If only the bond had snapped earlier or if I was just a little braver. I would have danced with you every moment I could. You deserve to be danced with you too. I’m glad we’re not longer in Windhaven. You deserved so much better than that camp.

You’re my princess. You should dance around in the ballgowns you make, but no, you always sold away the most beautiful ones.

I still dream about the blue gown you wore on your first Starfall as a couple. I wish I could see you in it again some time.

x Your Shadow

My dearest Y/N

I think the time has come. I’ve finally gone crazy. I felt you. I’m sure I did. But I couldn’t get to you. Please tell me where you are so that I can get you home. Please tell me.

Are you out there?

x Your Shadow

My dearest Y/N

Family dinner is hard without you. I always imagine you sitting besides me and it gets a little better.

Cassian spilled soup all over the floor yesterday. That’s nothing unusual, but it was all over a new carpet Feyre just bought. Feyre was about to become very angry when Nyx started laughing louder than ever before. Cassian is now Nyx’s favourite person.

I’m convinced that if Nyx knew you, you would outrank Cassian very quickly. I don’t know how much he knows about his auntie Y/N, but I know you would be the best aunt he could ever wish for. I’ll start telling him more about you when I can talk about you without crying.

x Your Shadow

My dearest Y/N

The shadows miss you too. They’ve been trying to braid my hair lately. It’s like they miss helping you with yours. I don’t think they understand that you’re gone forever. It’s like they’re in denial. It’s not that different from what I’m doing, but still, they shouldn’t have these complex feelings. I wish I would tell them that you’ll be back soon.

Sometimes the only thing they do is to scream in my head. I think they believe too that you’re out there, but I just can’t get my hopes up. Please give me or the shadows a sign and we’ll be there. I promise.

x Your Shadow

Annette was crying now. The letters were so full of grief she just wanted to hug this Shadow and tell him that everything would be alright.

She drank a little more of the winterberry juice. As she gulped it down, she felt her head grow lighter.

My dearest Y/N

It’s snowing. A lot. It’s like the sky is falling down in white. I can almost image you running around with your snow-zoomies. It’s like my entire body just expects you to sneak up behind me and dump way too much snow on me. The shadows have tried to do it, but it just isn’t the same.

Nyx spoke about the Winter Lights today. He told us that a friend from his kindergarten had painted them. I left the room before anyone continued speaking. I haven’t seen the lights since you left. It used to be such a good memory, but now it only brings pain. Our first kiss, my love. Under the Winter Lights after everyone else had gone inside. You always insisted to watch them until they had danced finished.

Maybe I’ll try to do that this year. I’ll do my best.

x Your Shadow

Imagine having your first kiss together under the Winter Lights. Annette’s heart melted at the thought. It felt right. She would love to experience that.

Annette picked up the last letter. It was filled with even more tearstains than the others. She drank the rest of the winterberry juice before she started to read.

My dearest Y/N,

I have understood now that I must let you go.

Madja and Jonathan believe you might me out there, but I won’t survive if I get my hopes up now only for them to be crushed once more. I want to, but I just can’t. It’s too much.

My sweet, beautiful, amazing, wonderful, thoughtful mate. I love you so much and it hurts so much to have to do this, but it’s what you would have wanted.

I’m going to try to make this a good Winter Solstice. I’m going to keep our traditions alive. I’m going to make a snowfae, I’m going to have the snowball fight and I’m going to make cookies and hot chocolate to stay on the counter every second of every day. I’m going to try my absolute best to be happy. Even if you aren’t here to see it.

I don’t think I can go to see Jonathan any longer. Even though therapy has helped, I think Jonathan is wrong for me. I’ll se if I can find anyone else after Winter Solstice, but right now I need a break.

I’m also going to take a break from these letters. I might start with them again soon, but for right now, I need to put you behind me. I hope this is the best decision, but I have no idea what I’m doing.

My dearest Y/N. I will forever long for the life he had planned. I will forever sit with the feeling that half of my heart is yet to come home.

x Azriel, I’ll always be your shadow

It was his name that did it. His beautiful and kind name. The name you had grown that fond of throughout your life.

It was the name that made you smile, cry and feel safe all at once. It was a name that brought you so many emotions that you didn’t know how to act.

It was the name of your person.

Because you knew now that you aren’t Annette, 254 years old from the continent.

You are Y/N, 540 years old from Windhaven, and last but definitely not least. You are Y/N the proud mate of Azriel Shadowsinger.

Taglist: @prettylittlewrites @hailqueenconquer @onebadassunicorn @mich0731 @tele86 @mellowmusings @anarchiii @anainkandpaper @donnadiddadog @atomictyphoonkitten @annablack @graciepies @salvatoresister1 @nastylicious @plants-w0rld @stqrgirlies-blog @scoliobean

Let me know if you want to be added!

Dividers by: @issysh3ll

#acotar #azriel #azriel fanfic #azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x oc #azriel x original character

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sparkley-bones · 3 months ago

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Look at my bracelet! Cool, right? I customized it out of stuff I already owned! Wanna make your own??

How I Personalized My Spiked Bracelet for Free ✂️ A Tutorial

Materials used:

- spiked bracelet! Mines was a gift, but you can make one, or buy one :) no stress, this tut is meant to be mostly free/accessible but you may have to make one or two purchases if your life is very different from mine.

- plastic beaded necklace long enough to do the job (make sure it fits over your spikes While The Bracelet Is Closed)! I think I found this on the ground or while helping a loved one clean their car

- pencil for indenting the (faux) leather, the pencil was a gift also but any pen or pencil will do I'm not personally opposed to real leather, especially upcycled leather!!, but this is what I have.

- needle for punching the holes needed to sew the necklace into place. Had my needles for years. Pretty sure they were from the dollar store or found on the ground. You can find just about anything on the ground if you look hard enough, I've found a yarn needle before-- and that's a niche piece of plastic! Just clean it first if you can manage for your own safety.

-thread. No clue where I got it, probably the dollar store or a friend lol I used a similar color so it would blend in with the silver colored plastic spikes and beads.

-box cutter. (Gift from a friend)To cut the thread. I couldn't find my scissors ✂️ those are just as fine. Also helps in pushing the needle through the material if you tap it lightly on the needle like a hammer! (Be careful, it's a tedious, mildly dangerous process if you're not conscious about your safety :( needle Can and Will go Through your body I've done it before, she doesn't care. Poke you good.)

-grey nail polish pictured purely bc I was taking a picture of my day lol from the dollar store, unnecessary, but I like it :)

Details!

I made two holes to sew through in between each spike, laid the necklace over the area and twisted once to get that criss-cross diamond shape, and I just ran my needle through the holes I made and secured each section. (you can see in the last photo, it's a bit blurry) I also secured the last hanging bit of beaded necklace with a little more thread and wasn't able to get that last criss-cross to fit well, so I compromised with just bringing the two beads closest to the center together, and done! Cool new bracelet with a little extra flavor! Enjoy!

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sheerfreesia007 · 9 months ago

Text

Masterpiece of a Confession

Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader

Word count: 1,802

Content warnings: Fluff, mention of alcohol

Summary: You and Hyunjin have made plans to hang out tonight. What happens when you find him a gift that he’s been eager to get his hands on, and when you present it to him he confesses to you?

Seoltang: Sugar

There was just something so comforting to you whenever you went shopping for hobby supplies. The store was perfectly lit to be able to show you all the colors of the materials that you were looking to buy. Not to mention all the sales that would normally come along. As you walked slowly down the aisle with all the multicolored yarn and thread you smiled softly while your hands gently trailed over the ones you liked. You picked out a few for a project that you were just starting and then a few more that caught your attention.

Just as you moved further down the aisle your cellphone began to ring and you smiled when you recognized who the ringtone was for. Fishing the device out of your bag you quickly answered the phone and held it to your ear still smiling.

”Hey Jinnie.” You greet him happily and he chuckles softly on the other end.

”Hi Seoltang, where are you right now?” He greeted and asked kindly. You could hear the smile in his voice as you continued to walk down the aisle perusing the merchandise.

”At the craft store picking up some material for my new project.” You tell him as you stop to look at some hand dyed material that catches your eye.

”Do you want to come hang out later once I’m done with this photoshoot? I miss you.” He says softly into the phone as if he doesn’t want anyone else to hear how sweet and soft he’s being. You smile to yourself at his tone, Hyunjin has always been like this with you. He was always able to relax and be himself whenever he was with you and you loved that about your relationship. Plus the fact that you were able to be such a comfort to him made your heart sing with joy.

”Of course I do. Do you want me to pick up some food for us and Changbin?” You ask him kindly when you turn down the paint aisle and smile softly at the reminder of your friend.

”Changbin’s going out with Jisung and Chan tonight. It’s just going to be the two of us.” Hyunjin responds and you nod your head at his words as you spot Hyunjin’s favorite brand of paint before walking over to it.

”Alright so then I’ll grab us some food, anything in particular you’d like?” You ask as you grab some of the paint colors that you know he runs out of a lot and slip them into your basket.

”I don’t know, comfort food?” He muses curiously and you nod your head knowing exactly what he means. Today had been a bit of a gloomy overcast day and it really should’ve kept you in your cozy bed but you were on a mission to get all of your errands done.

”Italian from that little mom and pop place not far from your apartment?” You ask curiously and Hyunjin gasps and hums in delight.

”Oh you read my mind.” He gushes out softly and you chuckle at him as your eyes continue down the shelves of paints when suddenly something catches your eye. “Maybe we can try some of those Aracini balls that we weren’t able to try last time.” He suggested and you hummed in agreement.

”Oooh that sounds great. I’ll make sure to get an order of those for us.” You tell him as you move down the aisle closer to the multicolored box in hopes that it was what you thought it was. Hyunjin had been going on and on about this paint set that he wanted to try but every time he tried to get it in any craft store they were always sold out, as you reached up and grabbed the box you nearly let out a squeal in delight! It was the same set that he had been talking about, and luckily for you it looked like it was the last one on the shelf.

“Well I really called you to talk about our days but it looks like I don’t have that long of a break today.” Hyunjin sighed softly and you frowned in response to his words before beaming as you slipped the paint set into your basket.

”That’s okay Jinnie, we’ll have all of tonight to talk about our days.” You reassured him sweetly and he hummed softly in response.

”I can’t wait to see you tonight Seoltang.” He said softly. “I’ll see you later, I gotta get back now.”

”I’ll see you later Jinnie.” You respond happily and hang up the phone before quickly making your way to the registers to pay for your things. You were eager to get home so that you could wrap the gift for him and give it to him tonight when you saw him.

*-*-*-*

Your trek up to Hyunjin and Changbins’ apartment is an easy one for you as you eagerly stride up the stairs two at a time. You’ve got your tote bag that holds the wrapped gift for Hyunjin as well as a bottle of wine that you found in the family owned restaurant when you went to pick up your dinner order. It had looked and sounded like something the two of you would enjoy together while eating so you had bought it.

Just as you make it to the top step of their floor you stop for a second letting yourself catch your breath and you hear a soft sweet giggle coming from the side. Turning your head you grin at a giggling Changbin who eyes you happily.

”That eager to get to him yah?” He asks knowingly and you blush softly at his teasing which causes him to giggle more. “Don’t worry he’s just as eager for you.” He says before giving you a quick hug and then continuing on down the stairs. “I’ll sleep over at Chan’s place tonight so don’t worry if you have a sleepover.” He calls over his shoulder teasingly.

”Changbin!” You scold softly and he giggles loudly once more at you before waving at you over his shoulder.

”Was Changbin giving you a hard time?” Hyunjin asks you and you turn your head to see him standing in the doorway of his apartment looking at you worriedly. You grin at him happily and he reciprocates the grin with one of his own sweet smiles. “I’ll beat him up for you.” He offers and you laugh happily as you excitedly make your way over to him and wrap him in a tight hug.

”No, no nothing like that. Just a bit of teasing.” You explain as you bury your face in his worn cotton t-shirt. “And I’d never ask you to do that.” You scold him softly as he grins down at you while wrapping his arms tightly around you.

”The offer still stands.” He says with a shrug before guiding you into the apartment. “Wanna get changed in your pjs first and then we’ll eat on the couch while watching a drama?” He asks when he finally lets you go so that he could close and lock the door.

”Yes please.” You sigh out happily as you slip your shoes off and go to set the bag of dinner on the kitchen island and pull out the wine bottle as well. “I bought wine from the restaurant too. Sounded like something we’d enjoy.” You tell him over your shoulder as you walk away to the bathroom so that you could go get changed.

”Oooh, this is a good one. Good choice!” Hyunjin calls out and you chuckle softly as you quickly get changed into your pjs before walking back out to find that Hyunjin had already set up dinner on the coffee table and was just pulling up a recent drama that the two of you had gotten into. “C’mere Seoltang.” He calls from his spot on the couch and you grin while rushing over to tackle him in a tight hug causing him to laugh happily at your actions. The two of you stay like that for a few quiet moments before you remember the gift you had gotten him.

”Oh! Before we start. I have a gift for you.” You say with a hint of teasing and Hyunjin looks at you with wide eyes before he grins excitedly and holds his hands out.

”Gift, please!” He calls out and you laugh softly at him before shaking your head. He gasps and then dramatically throws himself on top of you groaning loudly. “I need whatever thoughtful gift you’ve gotten or I’ll perish Seoltang.” He cries out as he throws a hand up into the air and squints his eyes. “Darkness is already closing in! I Can feel death’s cold grip on me tightening.” He dramatically cries out and you laugh loudly as you shove him playfully off you before you reach for your tote bag and pull out the wrapped gift.

Hyunjin quickly sits up from his sprawled out position as he eyes the prettily wrapped gift with eager eyes. You look down at the gift in your lap and then look up at him with a teasing grin on your face. Hyunjin leans forward with wide pleading eyes and a pout on his lips trying to get you to give him his gift. You smile softly at him and lean over to press a sweet kiss to his forehead without even thinking about it, it just naturally came to you to do that.

”What’s the magic word?” You ask him softly and Hyunjin grins widely at you as his eyelids flutter with delight at your kiss.

”I love you.” He answers immediately before cupping your face and pulling you into a deep loving kiss that makes you squeak with surprise as Hyunjin smiles through the kiss. He pulls away softly and grins widely when your mouth moves to chase his making the love he holds in his body for you swell to consume him. He then pulls you back in for another kiss and whispers the confession between each kiss he gives you.

You’re giggling happily and adoringly as you try to pull away from him so that you can give him his gift before you give up and press the present into his chest before kissing him once again.

”I love you too.” You whisper against his mouth and Hyunjin practically beams at you before he pulls away and looks down at the gift in his hands. Quickly opening it his eyes widen as surprise and adoration fills him. He looks up at you with wide love filled eyes before he grabs onto your face and pulls you in for another deep loving kiss that he doesn’t let you up from for a few breathless moments.

SKZ Taglist: @intartaruginha, @kayleefriedchicken

#my writing #stray kids #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #skz x reader #skz

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vxiphoid · 2 years ago

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EXIXIR OF EMOTIONS

❨ summary ❩ genshin › more than friends? moments. is he feeling too much or too little?

tags ✧ gn!reader, fluff, modern au (?), friends to lovers, y’all are dorks, the sweetest of feelings.

amanuensis’ message ⊹ y’all are not just friends babes, smooch.

⌜ O.7+ ⌟

♫ lover boy - phum viphurit

genshin masterlist

CUDDLING.

“you’ll put me to sleep at this rate.”

“its not like i’m going anywhere anytime soon. i like you here, in this moment. just sleep.”

— there’s absolutely nothing better than hearing your beating heart while he rests over you. no better feeling than your hands carding through his hair, braiding a few small pieces he was sure not to remove. he listens to your absentminded humming, your muted whispers about how soft his hair is, and the delighted thrum of your heart. his hand finds your unoccupied one and you were quick to interlock fingers, a reassuring squeeze following shortly after. maybe a small nap wouldn’t be so bad, little did he know you weren’t that far behind him.

AETHER, kaveh, WANDERER, zhongli, shikanoin heizou, BAIZHU, ayato, gorou, venti.

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

LATE NIGHT TALKS.

u up? ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀2:23 am (read)

been up ever since i heard your ringtone, are you alright? ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ 2:23 am (read)

— you have a different ringtone from everyone else in his contacts for times like this. honestly, it doesn’t matter if you want to rant, call, or even plan something like going for a walk, his answer will always be yes. its the yearning need to hear you laugh over the phone, even if he did see you three hours ago. babble on about the first thing that comes to your mind, watching you light up as you spoke. he’s sure he has heart eyes as his pupils as he takes you in for the umpteenth time tonight.

XIAO, DILUC, childe, kaedehara kazuha, shikanoin heizou.

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

LISTENING TO HIM GEEK OUT.

“sorry, i’m talking your ear off.”

“no, keep talking. i love your voice. what happened then?”

— its the complete adoration and love swirling in your eyes that makes him lose his train of thought. he notices when he turns to see if you’re still following, the smile adorning your face spreads wider under his gaze. what are you trying to do? give him a heart attack? don’t look at him like that (please do, he’s literally in shambles.) you’re so willing to listen to him even when you dont understand the topic. give me a night, ill have it all memorized and we can talk about it together, you’d say. how could you be so perfect?

ITTO, KAEYA, thoma, ALHAITHAM, tighnari, CYNO.

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

D.I.YING CLOTHES TOGETHER.

“and then the needle goes through here…”

“please don’t poke yourself—”

— you texted him about some moss embroidery on a sweater you had saw on pinterest and he was already on his way to pick you up and run to the nearest store for yarn and string. he found two old similar sweaters in the depths of his drawers and you were quick to get to work. he could barely pay attention to his own stuff because your shoulder kept brushing his… by the end of it, made with your hello kitty bandaged fingers, on the very end of his sleeve was his own embroidered moss and your initial.

AETHER, BAIZHU, albedo, VENTI, kaveh, zhongli.

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

DANCING TOGETHER.

“no but, what if i fall? that would be embarrassing.”

“i would catch you. always.”

— having his hand interlocked with yours has never felt so faultless, he’s been close but never this close. the amount of times he’s wanted to play with your hands but refuse because of the fear of making you uncomfortable yet you seemed so at ease grabbing his hands to mess with his knuckles at any given time. your hand that was splayed out on his chest traced little hearts into the fabric while you studied his face. for a second, he swore you leaned in.. that was until you stumbled on his foot. instincts kicked in quicker than he could react, tugging you flush against him. well that was embarrassing… even then, both your laughter, firstly stiffed, echoed throughout the atmosphere.

ALHAITHAM, ayato, DAINSLEIF, tighnari, KAEYA, THOMA.

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

KISSING HIS SCARS.

“why do you do this?”

“i want you to know i accept every part of you.”

— weither that be his hands, his arms, back, neck, waist, there’s no place that your lips don’t leave a tingling feeling upon his skin. it’s how you say hello, its how you say goodbye, it’s so frequent he finds himself counting the mere seconds of the intimate interaction. how you lingered for a second longer one day or a second less the next. you’ve found scars on him where he didn’t even know he had-including the invisible scar you insisted he had on the corner of his mouth that you’d pecked last.

AETHER, albedo, childe, CYNO, dainsleif, DILUC, gorou, itto, KAEDEHARA KAZUHA, XIAO, WANDERER.

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anarchycox · 2 months ago

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Niche Gift Giving Life Hack

If you have friends that are crafty and you know their general craft vibes - gift giving made easy.

Crafters love mystery/subscription boxes but they are often $$$$ or not to our freaky/weird little vibes.

So for birthday, holidays, because you love them - put together a mystery craft box:

Yarns from independent dyers

Buy an embroidery or cross stitch pattern in their fandom with all the floss the need for it

Go to a thrift store and buy them bed sheets if they complain about needing mock up fabric always, throw in the insane patterns from the 80s they have for a buck to make your friend laugh

If they junk journal buy weird random paper packs on Etsy

Add in their favourite chocolate or candy to snack on when a project goes wrong

You can do this for under 30 bucks and it is personal and heartfelt and makes your crafty friend squeal because collecting craft supplies is as much of a hobby as the craft itself.

#crafting #gifts #gift giving

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slytherin-pen · 11 months ago

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The Nesting Fox

After five years of being mated, you and Lucien are eagerly awaiting the arrival of your first litter. As you enter the seventh month of your pregnancy, Lucien returns home from his Emissary duties to find you meticulously rearranging the baby's room, consumed by the need to prepare the space for your growing family. Sensing your stress, Lucien takes it upon himself to ease your worries by drawing a warm bath for you and offering comforting words to soothe your nerves.

pairing: Lucien x Reader

word count: 3.7k

all ACOTAR related credit goes to SJM

warnings: none/ fluff vibes only 🤍

A/N: i had writer’s block for a bit so i missed Elucien week but i started this with the theme in mind last week 😭 anyways, i hope you enjoy fluffy future-dad Lucien

As the warm afternoon sun painted the cottage in a golden hue and gently streamed through the windows, you hustled about, checking off tasks from your never-ending to-do list. Your little kit wasn't due for another two months, but time seems to go too fast and too slow while pregnant. You know you have all the necessities and have their room prepared, but that doesn’t stop the nagging feeling that there’s still more to do, leaving you restless.

Your best friend Mor has been taking you shopping for baby items and garments to replace your weekly pre-pregnancy coffee dates, and despite your complaints about the extra laundry, you do love spending time with her, however it may be. With your family living in the Night Court and you being heavily pregnant in the Spring Court, it’s easy to feel lonely, but Mor winnows in and catches up with you as if you never left. Aside from her visits, you keep busy preparing for the baby’s arrival by repeatedly cleaning and shuffling things around until it's just right.

Today's list of tasks includes organizing the new clothes in the baby’s dresser, dusting—a task that seems pointless in the Spring Court—and baking snickerdoodle muffins because the baby wants snickerdoodle muffins.

Lucien has had to remind you numerous times to take it easy. He frequently comes home to find you doing something you are not supposed to and swiftly ushers you to a chair. Pregnancy has not been the kindest to you, but you haven’t let it slow you down yet. You wouldn’t be his relentlessly energetic mate if you just sat around doing something mundane like knitting.

Before discovering you were pregnant, you and Lucien spent your days outdoors or traveling across Prythian and the Continent. You were far from being a passive couple. Besides, the basket storing away the yarn and needles became riddled with dust ages ago. It was a lovely gift from a Lord in the Day Court after your wedding ceremony inside the palace, but the longest you’ve sat still was when your previous High Lord, Rhysand, let you hold his son Nyx during a casual meeting in the River House. Babysitting Nyx occasionally has helped ease some of your worries about becoming a mother. Still, your mind was in a constant war between being confident in your abilities and thinking the absolute worst would happen and you would fail at being a mother.

Lucien has been your unwavering support during the most challenging days, helping you combat negative thoughts. He reminds you to breathe and trust that both of you will be loving, nurturing parents. You don’t know if it’s just everyday prenatal stress or the hormones making you an anxious, compulsive mess, but Lucien has remained his kind, witty, and ever-attentive self. He always knows what you need, whether you are cleaning the house inside-out until your feet swell or crying and raging about being out of sugar, and now ‘the baby will be sad.’ He bites down his retort about the baby's inability to conceptualize anything about the situation every time. Instead, he holds you, massages your feet, and goes to the shops as soon as they open.

When you first found out you were pregnant, it was after a trip to the Summer Court with Lucien as his plus-one on an emissary trip. The two of you had dined on shrimp and pasta among Tarquin and his courtiers. After dinner, Lucien attended a private meeting with Tarquin, Cresseida, and Varian while you returned to your shared suite. As you bathed and got ready for bed, you noticed you felt nauseous but thought you must have overindulged during dinner. You had just opened your nightly read when the urge to vomit was too strong to swallow down. You ran to the toilet and heaved until there was nothing left. Afterward, you brushed your teeth and requested a servant bring you a cup of ginger tea. You didn’t initially tell Lucien for fear he would fuss over you instead of focusing on why you were in the Summer Court. You had hoped an ingredient just didn’t settle well with your stomach and you would feel better shortly.

The trip lasted for three days, and as per Summer Court, every dish contained seafood. After each meal, you found yourself in the nearest bathroom, throwing up what little you had eaten. Lucien became concerned, noticing that you would run off, but you assured him you were fine and that the spices were giving you an upset stomach. He gave you a skeptical look, not believing your excuse due to your frequent travels and exposure to various cuisines. Still, he accepted you were keeping your bathroom habits private, as any gentleman would.

When you touched down in the Spring Court, and Lucien ran off to meet with Tamlin, you found the nearest healer. Something was wrong. You loved seafood. Not every Summer Court dish is delicious, particularly the scallop omelet, but shrimp was one of your favorites, and you threw it up every time. The meals made you sick after you ate, and the smells began to nauseate you as soon as they appeared on the table.

You were shocked when the healer informed you nothing was wrong but that you were pregnant. Your mind became a torrent of different emotions: fear, excitement, hope, and more fear. You and Lucien had stopped taking contraceptive tonics years ago with the knowledge you could become pregnant, but something about it happening made you question everything. Were you ready for a baby? What if Lucien changed his mind and didn’t want children with you? Would you be a good mother? The internal turmoil had paralyzed you, rooting you to the ottoman before the fireplace. That’s how Lucien found you after he met with Tamlin, and he knelt by your side, asking you what was wrong. You hesitated initially, but Lucien whispered encouragement in your ear, and you eventually told him you were pregnant. His gold and russet eyes lit up joyfully and immediately soothed your worries. He assured you he still wanted children with you— lots of them, even–that you would be the best mother, and between his salary and both of your families, obtaining everything the baby would need would be no problem.

A few months into your pregnancy, you and Lucien went on ‘Tour De Baby,’ as he called it, celebrating the news with family and friends. The two of you attended a formal dinner with Tamlin, and Helion and Lady Autumn hosted a baby shower. Eris insisted on visiting him and the hounds so they could ‘learn the kit’s scent,’ and your family in the Inner Circle guided you and Lucien on a rare, non-alcoholic night out through Velaris. Seeing your families so excited to meet your little one made your heart swell with adoration and gratitude. Even if your family was spread across three courts, your baby has a formidable village of warriors and High Lords who loved them endlessly, and that was more than you could ever ask for.

The tantalizing scent of snickerdoodle muffins baking in the oven filled the cozy cottage as you set out to rearrange the baby's room. As you surveyed the room, you realized the crib was too close to the window. What if the moon's light wakes up the little one? You quickly decided to move it. Then, you noticed a framed picture precariously hanging above the changing table. You couldn't risk it falling and hurting the baby, so you made a mental note to relocate it as well. As you stepped back, you noticed that the dresser seemed slightly off-center, prompting you to adjust its position.

Lucien heard a distinct dragging sound across the wooden floor as he walked through the front door. Curious, he followed the noise and poked his head into the room. "Release the dresser immediately," he demanded, a playful glint in his eyes. "What exactly are you up to, my sly little fox?" A mischievous smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he noticed your blush.

“I was just tidying a few things up,” you replied sheepishly, putting the dresser back on the ground.

With a playful smirk, he hoisted the dresser and carefully set it in its new spot, perfectly aligned against the wall. Sauntering over to where you stood, he took hold of your hands and teased, "Is destroying our poor floors your idea of tidying up?”

You inhale sharply, glancing around the room and blinking back tears. “I just want everything to be perfect,” you whispered.

Lucien’s face softened with understanding as he pulled you into his chest, wrapping one arm around your waist and cradling your head with the other. “I know, my love, but do you know what I want?”

“For your mother to send me her apple pie recipe?”

He chuckled before shaking his head. “I’m not opposed, but no. I want you to be healthy. I want our baby to be healthy. And then I want all of us to be happy. That’s it. That’s all I could ever ask for.”

The dam of tears you held back burst as you listened to your partner's sincere words. “I feel like there’s so much left to do. I know we have gotten so much done, but I can’t help but stress about what else we can do,” you whined.

“Oh, darling,” he sighed. He cupped your cheeks and wiped your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “Perhaps you subconsciously feel the more work you find, the more ready you will feel, but that is not how it works, unfortunately. We still have two months left, but I promise you we will be ready. You are ready. I have complete faith that you will be a natural once our kit is born. As for being physically ready, you’ve handled it all, my love. All that shopping with Mor and planning lists with Feyra paid off. I told you to leave some work for me,” he winked.

You snorted, smacking his chest lightly. “You’ve hardly let me do anything. You made me sit in that chair,” you pointed to the rocking chair in the corner, “while you built the crib, installed the bookshelf, and made me stay at Tamlin’s manor for two days while you painted the room.”

“Technically, it only took one day to paint and one more for the fumes to air out,” he quipped.

Before you could roll your eyes, the smell of burning cinnamon hit your nose. “Muffins!” You turned away from Lucien and waddled quickly towards the kitchen.

Lucien laughed as he followed after you. “I was wondering what sort of concoction you had brewing in there.”

“The baby asked for snickerdoodle muffins, and what kind of mother would I be to deny my child before they’ve even left the womb?”

“Ah yes, this telepathic connection between the two of you. Pray tell, what else does our little kit ask for,” he asked, leaning on his hands, watching you from across the island that separated you as you pulled the muffin pan out of the oven.

Placing the pan on the counter, you hummed before looking up at Lucien. “Well, since you’re asking,” you smiled deviously, “a nice warm bath complete with a massage. And chocolates.”

He licked his lips as he moved closer to you. “I can’t deny my child before they’ve left the womb, now can I? I shall run you a bath this instant.”

You giggled as he kissed the crown of your head and rubbed your belly before leaving the room. Staring at the muffins on the counter, you couldn’t resist eating one while they were fresh and steaming right in front of you. The crumbs of cinnamon and sugar crunched between your teeth as the bready muffin melted on your tongue, and an involuntary moan escaped you. Your baby may not be born yet, but they certainly have good taste in pastries.

“My love,” Lucien called. “I have a warm, lavender-scented bath ready for you.”

“Coming,” you mumbled, swallowing the last of the muffin before rounding the corner and trailing after Lucien.

As you walked through your bedroom and into the ensuite bathroom, you practically groaned in pleasure at the sight. Steam rose from the clawfoot tub, courtesy of Lucien’s heating powers, and bubbles covered the water's surface. You slipped off your clothes, and Lucien held your hand as you entered the tub. He quickly followed, chucking his clothes onto the floor next to yours.

You leaned back onto his chest as he sat behind you, thick, muscular thighs caging you in between them. “This is nice,” you sighed. The bubbles came up to your breastbone as your body slumped against his, but your bump protruded slightly out of the water's comforting warmth.

He hummed in agreement, grabbing a folded washcloth and submerging it in the water before gingerly running it across your arms. “It is the least you deserve,” he murmured. “I cannot thank you enough for carrying our child.”

You looked at him over your shoulder and smiled. “You don’t have to thank me, Luc. I love you, and I love our baby. I can’t wait to meet them.”

“I know you do,” he kissed the tip of your nose, “but I also know being pregnant is no easy feat. First, there was constant nausea and vomiting; now, it’s insomnia, swelling, and back pain. Not to mention the mental toll it takes on you, worrying day and night about what our baby will need, and as much as I hate that you’re so worried, your concern is how I’m sure you'll be a wonderful mother.”

“You can't know that,” you grumbled. “Preparing for it and living it is not the same thing.”

Lucien lathered shampoo in his hands and began to scrub your scalp. “Perhaps, but after believing Beron was my father for most of my life, maybe I’m just content in knowing we can love our child without that monster looming over us. Knowing I will never be like him and you, being an angel sent from the heavens, I think we’re quite set. All I ever wanted was for my future children to be safe, especially in their own home, and they will be.”

You sighed as he rinsed the soap out of your hair, one hand shielding your eyes from the suds. “That is a perspective I haven't considered. I’m sorry,” you murmured.

“Don’t apologize, my love. I only mentioned it because I want you to feel as content as I do. I don't want you spending your first pregnancy fretting over the little things when what's most important is that both of you are okay. We don't know what the future holds, and things could change in the blink of an eye, but in the meantime, I want us to love each other and enjoy ourselves while our kit gets ready for their debut.”

You intertwined your hands with his as you gave him a peck on the lips. “Thank you. You always know what to say to bring me back to Earth. I don't know what I would do without you.”

“Oh, I have a few ideas. Starting with rearranging this house until labor forced you to stop, you stubborn female.”

A soft giggle escaped you as you leaned further into Lucien’s chest. “The day can not come soon enough. My back might break if my stomach gets any bigger.”

Lucien chuckled as he caressed your bump with his large palm. Despite how huge you felt, his hand could still cover the top of your stomach, reminding you that you were, in fact, not actually the size of a mammoth. “I hate to tell you that our little fox is not done growing and will get bigger, but-” he leaned over your shoulder to kiss the bump, “I can assure you that you are unbreakable, my brave and resilient mate. Pregnancy is nothing compared to the battles you’ve overcome, but after this battle, we will be blessed with a precious baby in return, and they will be ours to cherish alone.”

You craned your neck to gaze up at him. “We’re going to have to share them every now and then, you know that right,” you teased.

A soft growl rumbled through his chest before he nipped at your nose, eliciting your squeal. “We don’t have to do anything. We could hide in the woods and live like cave dwellers. No one could make us leave.”

“Well, technically, Tamlin could, being High Lord and all.” You trailed off as he began to leave kisses along your neck.

Lucien hummed, the placement of his lips on your throat sending vibrations coursing straight through you. “I’d like to see him try. I do believe he owes me, coming back to help him repair his court and all,” he teases.

“Would he be grateful enough not to mind his Emissary and wife living in his woods like animals? We might scare the villagers.”

“Darling, if the villagers can’t handle two Fae harmlessly prancing about the woods, they are in the wrong court. Their High Lord turns into a beast, for cauldron's sake.”

You laughed, clenching your eyes shut and squeezing your thighs together lest you pee yourself. “I can’t believe I forgot that. My stupid pregnancy brain has me forgetting everything, including changing out my slippers for shoes before leaving the house. I was halfway to town before I realized.”

"Was that the day you asked me to go to the shops for more strawberry jam after you had said you were going to fetch it yourself," he chuckled.

“Yep,” you grimaced. “I had to turn around. That was a whole trip in itself. No way I was walking back to the shops.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. I told you to take it easy, not run around town like a headless chicken.” You smacked his arm for referring to you as a chicken, and he kissed your cheek in apology. “I will handle the shopping from now on. You needn’t worry your pretty little head about a thing.”

“Oh, so now I have a head?”

“You’re a wicked thing when you want to be.” He rose from the tub, reaching for the towels before stepping onto the rug. “Come on out, love. The water is getting cold, and I still owe you a massage.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” your eyes brightened as you took his hand and let him wrap you in a soft, fluffy towel.

You held hands as the two of you walked into your bedroom, cast in the warm glow of flickering candles. Lucien changed into sleep pants while you slipped on a silk nightgown. You sat down at your vanity, and before you could reach for your hairbrush, Lucien grabbed it. “Let me,” he murmured.

Smiling at him appreciatively over your shoulder, you nodded and closed your eyes as he gently brushed through your hair. He was careful to start at the ends with light strokes and work his way up to your roots, mindful of how fragile hair can be while wet. Starting at your hairline, he separated your hair into three sections and began to tie your hair into a french braid. It became your favorite way to style your hair for bed due to all the night sweats you’ve had during pregnancy. Sleeping while pregnant was still uncomfortable, but getting all your hair off your neck helped tremendously with not overheating at night.

“So beautiful,” Lucien whispered, trailing his fingertips down your arms. You made eye contact with him through the mirror and couldn’t stop the blush that crept upon your cheeks. “Let’s get you in bed now, my love.”

You let him lead you to the bed in the middle of the room and watched him pull back the covers. He sat down first, to your surprise, and patted the spot between his legs. You giggled but situated yourself between his thighs and pulled the covers up to your waist.

“First, the chocolate I promised.” He handed you a bowl of small rectangles of dark chocolate. You moaned and popped a piece into your mouth as you grabbed the bowl and placed it in your lap. “Now for that massage,” he leaned over to the side table and picked up the bottle of oil, shaking a few drops on the palm of his hand and rubbing them together. You pulled your braid over your shoulder and let the straps of your nightgown slip down enough for Lucien to access your back. “Where does it feel the most sore?”

“Along my spine and lower back,” you replied, chewing another piece of chocolate.

He hummed in acknowledgment and began to massage your back. Starting at the top of your spine, he ran his knuckles down your back, releasing the tension with his motions. He moved on to massaging circles into your lower back with his thumbs, and the pressure was heaven-sent in such a sore spot.

You don’t know how long you sat there feeling every ounce of love and care he put into relieving your pain. Your eyes remained shut, and you’d never admit that you may have dozed off a couple of times, only once or twice, with a piece of chocolate in your mouth.

After the massage, you leaned back onto his chest, placing the chocolates and oil back on the table, and he wrapped his arms around your bump to lift it. He dipped his chin down to your shoulder and kissed your neck softly. “Does that feel any better, darling?”

Exhaustion consuming you, you could only hum and nod. Lucien chuckled, turned off the flames with a snap, and shifted your bodies so that your head rested on his chest as he pulled you into his side. “Goodnight, my love,” he kissed your temple. “And goodnight, my little fox,” he splayed his hand on top of your bump and rubbed his thumb in soothing circles as you fell asleep.

#acotar fanfiction #acotar fic #acotar #acotar fandom #lucien vanserra #lucien vanserra imagine #lucien vanserra x reader #lucien vanserra x you #lucien acotar #lucien x y/n #elucien week #elucien #lucien x reader #lucien vandaddy #lucien fanfic #pregnant!reader #fem!reader #lucien x you

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mikimakiboo · 2 months ago

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Draz AU - A Toy For A Dragon

Guess what Lord Noot is back

This little dragon has all my heart so here is a very very very short drabble about him again, like, very short

It was written at 2 am also

Still under the cut tho

Dust was in the living room, reading the new book he picked out on their last supply run a few days ago, when he heard rapid little steps coming at him. They were all used to it by now, Nightmare was letting his dragon form out more often now that he understood they would never judge or leave him for that. They all loved Lord Noot, Noot for short, as they all started calling him despite Nightmare's early protest, though he quite quickly got accustomed to it and sometimes called his second form by that name too.

Dust looked down to see the little black dragon arriving next to the couch, a toy in his mouth: a thick sausage made of yarn. Cross was the one to insist to get the dragon toys, claiming that he would soon get bored in this big castle without anything to play with. Nightmare had eventually accepted, on the condition that all the toys stayed in the living room, with the only exception being their own bedrooms, as he didn't want to have toys just laying anywhere in the hallways, it would have been a tripping hazard as well as a mess in general. The trip to the pet store had been planned very rapidly and they almost emptied the dog toys section as they figured cat toys would have been a little too fragile for dragon claws, even if they did fall for some toys such as a laser pointer and the sausage Noot currently had in his mouth.

- Got your sausage, Bud' ? Dust greeted the dragon.

Noot looked at him, the sausage was almost too big for his mouth, and jumped on the couch to deposit the toy on Dust's open book on his laps before jumping down again and waiting.

- Want me to throw it ?

Noot barked, his little butt shaking with anticipation as Dust took the sausage and wiggled it in the air before throwing it over his head, making him jump. The dragon missed the sausage by a few inches but quickly went after it once he landed to bring it back to Dust, jumping on the couch again.

- Good job, Buddy, Dust chuckled as he took the toy again.

He threw it again before Noot had time to jump down and watched him launched himself after the sausage, sprinting to get it back on the couch.

This little game of fetch lasted a few minutes before Noot stopped in front of his toy and slowly looked up at Dust from the floor.

- You wanna take a break ? I think you ran a marathon here.

Lord Noot kept staring for a moment, then took a step forward to be over the sausage and laid on it, rolling on his side with the toy held firmly against his chest by his two front paws. He didn't break the eye contact.

- Aw, you're so cute, Dust cooed.

He was about to take out his phone when Noot brought his back paws to the toy... and started to rapidly hit it. He kept staring right at Dust as he tried to eviscerate the sausage, his gaze planted in the skeleton's gaze.

Dust didn't dare move.

- That's... a little less cute... you're scaring me, Bud'...

The dragon kept hitting the toy, until his grip weakened and he accidently launched it forward. He stared at it for a second before jumping on the sausage again, rolling over, and getting up with the toy in his mouth to jump on the couch where Dust was still sitting silently. He let it down against his leg, turned around a few times, and finally laid against him for a little break in playtime, purring softly and happily as he had both his favorite toy and his friend near him.

Dust just kept watching him until he fell asleep and slowly reached out to pet him and hear his purring intesifiy.

- Welp... good game I guess.. ?

He picked up his book again, having put it on the side to play with Noot.

He will probably have to watch his back for a few days...

#original post #Noot isnt mad at him btw he just does that lol. my cat does that too #nightmare sans #dust sans #draz au #draz nightmare #lord noot #dreamtale #dusttale #nightmare!sans #dust!sans #dreamtale nightmare #dusttale sans #fanfiction

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inotaku-talkz · 14 days ago

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A/N: Happy Birthday Ju!!!!! (@perfectanamentality) I hope you enjoy ur birthday to the fullest!! Hope you like my gift🥺

CROCHETED LOVE - T.I.

warnings: none <3

I wrote Nanami in here and he has a wife<3

“Nanami! You gotta help me, please!” Ino’s desperate voice can be heard shrilling over the line.

Nanami visibly sighed, “I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Groaning, he hangs up and hops up off the couch.

Mrs. Nanami giggled at the sight of her husband grabbing his coat and keys. “Takuma needs help again?”

He embraced his wife, “Yes, indeed. It’s his girlfriend's birthday today, and he wants to make her something handmade.”

“Why didn’t he do so earlier?”

“He needed to wait until she was hanging out with her friends that way he could do so uninterrupted.”

His wife giggles again, “Well, let’s go save the poor boy.”

Ino swings the door open in a panicked frenzy. He’s covered in multiple colors of yarn, and his always-askewed beanie is now even more out of place.

“Nice! You bought Mrs. Nanami!” Ino shrugged off the yarn and stepped to the side to let them in.

Nanami’s wife surveys the damage. Yarn and scrapped projects were everything.

Nanami sighed for the 47th time today and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. Nanami and his wife were special guests, they could come over anytime and do whatever.

“Kento mentioned you were hand-making something for your girlfriend, is that correct?” His wife picks up a failed attempt at a scarf, or is it a hat?

“That’s right. She’s always making handmade things for me, so I wanted to do the same. Instead of just buying her something at the store, y’know?”

Nanami’s wife had slight tears in her eyes. It was so sweet, what Ino was doing for you. She had met you quite often. You were quite crafty with your hands, always carrying a ball of yarn with you.

She remembers the day that her wedding dress arrived torn apart the day before her wedding with Nanami. She was so devastated, that she was going to cancel in the morning, but only to wake up to find you passed out next to her now-fixed wedding dress.

You stayed up that night to fix her dress, she owes you so much.

“Alright! Let’s do this!” She was pumped up.

Nanami’s wife and Ino spent hours researching easy techniques, and he got better, by a little.

In the end, he managed to crochet a little frog chain key for you, but he scraped it. He wished he paid more attention to what you were doing when he was admiring you.

You returned home after a long day with your friends, Ino greeted you at the door with open arms.

“Hi, baby! How was it hanging with the girls?” He guided you to the couch, letting you relax after a long day.

He brings over a small cake from the fridge and sits next to you.

You eagerly thank your boyfriend for the cake and he sets a small gift box on the coffee table in front of you.

“Aww! Babe, I told you not to buy me anything this year!” You giggle, lightly hitting his arm.

“I didn’t, I made you something this year.” Your eyes widened when he said that.

“What? Y-you made me something?”

You reach for the small box and open it.

It was a small keychain for your messenger bag. It was a tiny frog with big, uneven eyes and a tiny stub for a crown. It was also missing a leg too.

It wasn’t the prettiest, but it was the best damn gift you have ever received.

No one ever took the time or energy to craft anything for you.

Tears well up, and panic ensues within Ino.

“Shit, baby! I’m sorry if it’s ugly, I’ll remake I promise.”

He tries to take it from your hands, but you clutch it close it your chest.

“No! It’s beautiful, Takuma. It’s just no one has ever did something like this for me.”

He chuckles, pulling you into his chest and planting a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Happy birthday, baby.” He whispered.

“Thank you, Takuma. I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

#ino takuma #ino takuma x reader #ino x reader #ino takuma x you #jjk #takuma ino x reader #ino takuma smut #takuma ino #takuma ino smut #takuma smau #takuma smut #takuma x you #jjk takuma #jjk ino #jjk fluff #jjk imagines #kento nanami #nanami kento

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sparkles-rule-4eva · 8 months ago

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Happy birthday, Tails!

"Fevers Can't Ruin Birthdays"

based on this post by @niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian :)

AO3 version

Sonic didn’t have to be a genius to know that Tails had never had someone celebrate his birthday before they’d met. The kid had been the littlest outcast there ever was, for the dumbest of reasons. He’d been shunned and abused for what Sonic in all seriousness considered to be one of the coolest things about him— his extra tail that let him fly. On top of that, Tails was an absolute genius.

Too bad Sonic had to be the first one in the entire world to notice all this. Or maybe not so bad, because that meant he got to keep him. Which was quite possibly the best thing that had ever happened to him.

They’d been with each other for years now. Things were familiar between them. Familial terms flew from both their mouths in reference to each other all the time without hesitation. Tails had grown so much and now had a level of sass that rivaled Sonic’s. And now the kit was approaching his tenth birthday.

Sure, Sonic had made plenty of efforts in past years to celebrate his little brother. He’d thrown parties, bought out hardware shops in the hopes that whatever he brought would be useful to Tails, and even once made a horrendous attempt at making a birthday cake. (He hadn’t tried again since that first time, although Tails had at least appreciated the thought.)

But this year? This year was extra special somehow. Not only was Tails finally entering double-digits, it was going to be his first birthday after coming back from his extended time of solo adventuring. His “going it alone,” as he’d told Sonic he’d wanted to do back on Starfall Islands.

Sonic had missed him to no end during that time, although they’d still texted most days. Now, Tails had been back for a few weeks. He hadn’t said a word about his upcoming day, but there was no way Sonic would ever forget it.

He’d made plans, alright. Conspired with Knuckles and Amy, Vanilla and Cream, the Chaotix, even Silver and Blaze (though that had been a bit of a challenge). He’d convinced Tails to head out to one of his live-in labs that was closest to all of their friends, to make it easier for them all to come together. He’d spent an entire week shopping (with help from Amy), looking for anything that Tails would even potentially like. Mechanical stuff, computer stuff, bags of mints, lego sets the size of a dining table, video games, a collection of tiny metal airplanes he found at a thrift store, etc.

He had the entire day planned out (which was something that he usually never did). He’d hidden the giant assortment of gifts in a bunch of random secret places and connected them all with strings (although the arts and crafts store had been pretty ticked that he’d bought out their entire supply of yarn). Amy was going to make a giant, absolutely gorgeous cake. Knuckles was helping Cream decorate banners and blow up balloons. Vanilla and Vector were helping him organize everything. Sonic was going to take him to all their favorite places and they’d have races and go sightseeing and maybe dive off a cliff or two. It was going to be perfect. Sonic was absolutely determined to make sure that fox knew exactly how much he was loved.

… So if he woke up on the morning of the long-awaited day feeling a little more lethargic than usual, if he had some kind of tension in his head and felt a little congested and a little rough in the throat, well, he would keep that to himself.

Correction: he would try.

—

“Hey, Taaaaiiilllsss.” The voice was teasing and familiar, but surprisingly gentle for being an apparent wake-up call. Tails barely stirred from his dream, making the slightest of humming noises in acknowledgement.

A hand gently shook his shoulder. “Happy birthday…” the voice went on to sing, albeit quietly.

Still mostly asleep, Tails barely rolled over and automatically finished with a sleepy, “To yoouuu.”

The voice— Sonic, no doubt— snickered. “Nuh uh, lil dude. It’s your birthday!”

Tails smiled as he finally started waking up for real. “To meee,” he corrected, opening his eyes halfway as he began pushing himself to sit up.

“There ya go!” Sonic laughed, reaching out to ruffle Tails’s already-messy bangs. “Welcome to double digits! Just wait till you…”

Tails paused in his climbing down from bed as his brother trailed off in his sentence, instead ending with a sneeze.

“Bless you.” Tails hopped off the bed and grinned.

“Eh. Thanks.” Sonic shook his head and smiled back. “Sorry. What was I saying?”

“Just wait till…” Tails prompted.

“Aw, yeah— just wait till ya see everything I’ve got planned!” Sonic dragged him in for a tight hug, then a noogie, and Tails squealed with fake protest.

Sonic let him go, grabbed the end of the yarn lying on the floor near the bed, and shoved it in Tails’s hand. “Just follow the string!”

Tails laughed, but obliged. “Wait, what? What is this, birthday edition of the Wizard of Oz?”

Sonic shrugged. “I woulda built a yellow brick road, but I didn’t think you’d appreciate me messing up your floors like that. Didn’t think the public would be much of a fan, either.” He turned his face away and sneezed again.

“Whaddaya mean the public? Bless you.” Tails frowned a little when Sonic didn’t immediately turn back towards him, instead reaching up to rub his nose, then his eyes. “You good?”

At the concerned inquiry, Sonic quickly snapped back towards him. “Yeah, I’m good! Now come on, your day awaits!”

Tails kept an eye on him even as he smiled and started walking alongside the string, which he now noticed was stretched out across the floor and tucked in random places out of sight. “Are you getting sick?” he asked Sonic, who scoffed.

“‘Course not. You know colds are too slow to catch up with me.” Sonic gave him an exaggerated wink. Tails rolled his eyes.

“Lame joke, but you sound all stuffy.”

Sonic rolled his eyes right back and put his hands on his hips. “Maybe your ears need cleaning out again.”

“Just like your immune system needs cleaning out?”

“Stop sassing me, or there won’t be any cake.”

“Fine.”

Tails knew Sonic was joking about the cake bit. He still wasn’t sure if Sonic was actually sick or not, but if he was, there was no way he was going to just admit it and go to bed. He was one of the most stubborn people Tails knew, and he hated to be vulnerable in front of other people.

So, deciding to hope that Sonic wasn’t lying and maybe was just sneezing excessively for no reason that morning, he went along with the plans Sonic had created, which admittedly were all pretty fantastic.

“Yooo, is this the newest game from AGES?” he squeaked as he flew up into a tree after the string and found the tenth gift tucked in the branches.

“You bet!” Sonic called from the ground, although his voice sounded extra raspy when he raised it. “Pre-ordered it ‘n everything! I dunno if you watched the trailers for it, but it looks sick. Hoped you’d like it!”

Tails hovered back to the ground, picking up the previous gifts alongside the video game case that he’d left at the base of the tree. Sonic turned his head and coughed a couple times.

“Speaking of ‘sick,’” Tails mumbled, eyeing his brother worriedly.

Sonic waved him off. “I’m fine, I said. Besides, there’s still so much left to do!”

Tails sighed. He was beginning to think that his initial intuition was right, but was Sonic going to care? Nope.

They headed into town next, and Tails finally understood what Sonic had meant earlier about the public. If they hadn’t been world-renowned, Sonic probably would’ve gotten in trouble with the local government for leaving string and random computer parts in cardboard boxes all over the parks and roofs.

The sun was high in the sky at this point. They met with a few of their friends in the streets, too many to be a coincidence, but Tails didn’t mind one bit. While all the effort was definitely heartwarming, it would’ve been easier to enjoy it all if he weren’t so worried about Sonic, who was looking more tired by the hour. Every now and then he’d catch him rubbing his head when he thought no one was looking, as if trying to ward off a headache, and every couple minutes Tails heard him sniffling.

They had lunch with the Chaotix, and Tails of course chose chilidogs. It may have initially been Sonic’s favorite, but his love for them had rubbed off on Tails over the years. The taste of them always brought warm, pleasant memories, and almost for the sake of those memories alone, they were one of his favorite meals.

And he would’ve had an easy time enjoying them now, but it was hard when Sonic was barely picking at his, in the seat next to him. He’d taken a small bite or two, but was now doing nothing more than staring at them with slightly glazed eyes.

Trying not to make a scene, Tails nudged him a little. “Not hungry?”

Sonic blinked and looked back at him, his eyes clearing. “Um. I dunno.” He picked up his chilidog, immediately set it down again, then twisted aside to cough again, as quietly as he could.

Tails caught Vector eyeing the hedgehog from across the table and winced. “You good there, Sonic?” their older friend questioned.

Sonic looked back at the crocodile, almost uncomprehending for a moment. Tails looked between them. Sonic waved a hand. “Not you, too. I’m fine,” he sighed, even though his voice cracked when he spoke.

Espio looked towards them, away from his whispered argument with Charmy that no, Tails was not obligated to share his three new lego sets with him. “You don’t sound well,” he pointed out.

Sonic glanced back at him, squirming under the sudden scrutiny of everyone else at the table. “Hey, quit staring,” he complained, then smiled way too big and nudged Tails. “This is Tails’s day. Give him all the attention!”

Tails gave him a look, deciding that it might be better to be upfront about this than to spare Sonic’s dignity. “I’m not the one who needs medical attention,” he said with a tiny shrug, smiling apologetically when his brother shot him a pleading look.

Vector sat up straight. “Wait, are you sick?”

“No,” Sonic protested, his ears flattening slightly.

Espio leaned down and started fumbling through one of their bags under the table. “I think we still have flu medicine leftover from when three of us had it a few weeks ago. You can take it if you need it.”

“Noooo, thanks.” His big brother looked like he wanted to disappear, although at this point Tails couldn’t tell if the redness on his face was from embarrassment or an oncoming fever. He looked meaningfully back at Espio and nodded, and the chameleon quietly slipped him the bottle under the table.

They managed to go the rest of the meal without bringing up the sickly elephant in the room, but Tails couldn’t brush off his worry. More and more he wanted so badly to just take his brother home, tuck him into bed, and take care of him until he was healthy again, but with the way Sonic was, such a thing would be immensely difficult.

“Ready for a hike with the gang?” Sonic asked him, with about as much energy as he could summon at the moment.

“A hike?” Tails echoed, brows rising. “Why don’t we just fly in the Tornado? Where are we hiking?”

Sonic laughed, then immediately started coughing again. It was sounding rougher every time it happened, and Tails automatically reached to put a hand on his brother’s back. “M’fine,” Sonic reassured him, trying and failing to clear his throat. “There’s this one spot out in the mountains nearby with an awesome view at the top. The hike is an hour or so, and yeah I know we could just fly, but I thought it would be nice to catch some scenery in the woods along the way. Knux and Amy are coming along, is that okay?”

“That’s— it’s fine that they’re coming.” Tails paused, trying to sort through his immediate concerns. “Um… I just think…” With a quick breath, he went on, “Sonic, this has all been awesome and the hike does sound exciting, but… I really think you need to go home and rest.”

Sonic sighed, glaring at the ground for a moment, before dragging his gaze up to meet Tails’s with a frustratingly relaxed gleam. “How many times do I gotta say it today, I’m fine! Nothing can keep me down for long. I’ve been waiting to do all this with you for months; please just let me have this?”

His brother wasn’t as good with the puppy dog eyes as Tails was himself, but it somehow worked— for now. Tails groaned, conflicted still but not knowing how to convince the stubborn hedgehog that walking around all day and hiking entire mountains and spending all energy for the sake of birthday fun was not going to let him feel better. Especially if he refused to take any medicine.

“Okay, but—”

“Awesome!” Sonic didn’t let him finish. “I told the others to meet us at the parking lot in twenty minutes or so— whaddaya say we beat them to it?” He swallowed with a grimace as he finished speaking, then sniffled.

Tails stared at him regretfully. “Okay.”

They made it to the parking lot in under five minutes. Tails decided not to say anything about how much easier than usual it was to keep up with the speedy hedgehog, who didn’t seem to be purposefully moving as slowly as he was. As they reached the sparsely populated lot, Sonic stumbled over his feet and all but fell against someone’s car, struggling to catch his breath as he started coughing again, even harder than before.

“Sonic?” His worry ramping up a decent amount, Tails hurriedly dropped down beside him. “You alright?”

Sonic gave him a tired grin, even as his chest heaved for air. “Just catching my breath,” he wheezed.

Tails stiffened, looking at his brother with blank eyes as a haunting memory surfaced in his mind.

“Just catching my breath,” Sonic tried to assure him, even though he was near entirely covered in flickering, red and black cyber energy, had just been coughing, was clearly in pain. Tails stared at his own transparent, glitching hands, realizing he had no corporeal form and could do nothing to help his brother feel better.

And then he’d spent the next few days watching Sonic get sicker and sicker, watching him limp tiredly around instead of run with his trademark smile, watching him hold his arm and his hip and his head until he could barely walk. Tails had come back to his real, solid form, only to find Sonic paralyzed, unresponsive, all but dead, because he’d cared more for their lives and their comfort than for his own health.

This wasn’t the same, he reminded himself in the present; at least, it wasn’t as dire. This was just a bug. Just the flu. And it was just a birthday.

But Sonic was still rejecting his health in favor of making sure that someone he loved was having a good time.

Tails wasn’t sure how to articulate his feelings on that to him right now. So he chose to step closer and throw his arms around Sonic instead, holding him tightly.

Sonic paused for a moment, evidently taken aback, then silently hugged him back. Pressed up against him, Tails could hear and feel the raggedness in the hedgehog’s breathing, and feel the unnatural heat radiating off of him.

“Whoa, are we interrupting something?” a deeper voice called, and immediately Sonic pulled back as if nothing had happened.

“Brother stuff, Knux,” he told the echidna, as Tails fought his internal annoyance at missing his chance of actually convincing Sonic to go home and go to bed. “You wouldn’t get it.”

Knuckles eyed the hedgehog ruefully. “I think I would, somehow.”

Beside him, Amy laughed. “You guys ready for this?”

“The view won’t compare to Angel Island. But I suppose it’ll be nice in its own way.”

“The scenery on the way is supposed to be really cool, too,” Tails put in, remembering what Sonic had said earlier.

“It is!” Sonic agreed, then pointed to a sign by the woods nearby. “That’s the start of the trail. Let’s do this thing!” Without waiting for a response, he half-ran, half-stumbled off towards the aforementioned sign.

Tails just sighed, shook his head, and ambled after him. As he did, Amy headed closer to walk beside him.

“Is Sonic… sick? Or something?” she whispered, looking concerned after their friend ahead of them. “He seems off, somehow. And he sounds all raspy.”

“…Yeah,” Tails mumbled guiltily. “He’s been coming down with something all day. I’ve tried to talk him into going home and resting, but he won’t listen.”

“Sounds about right.” Amy groaned. “I’ll help you keep an eye on him while we walk. If he still won’t go home to sleep by the time we’re done the hike, I’ll just drag him there myself.”

Tails couldn’t help a laugh at the mental image. “Thanks, Amy.”

“Of course!” The pink hedgehog beamed at him. “Now then— how’s your birthday been going, mister ten-years-old already?”

“It’s been good otherwise!” He grinned. “For the first half of the day he just dragged me around town following a string to all sorts of gifts. I had to drop them all off at the lab, or else we wouldn’t have been able to do the hike.”

“Ooh! What’d you get so far?”

“Mm, a lot of computer parts, three new lego sets, a couple new video games, a skateboard, a weighted blanket, a box of mint tea—”

“Wow,” Amy cut in with a giggle. “I helped him do some of the shopping, but he really went all out, it sounds like.” Tails nodded with a soft smile. “I’ll never get over how much he just adores you. How much you both love each other,” she added, watching the fox kit’s eyes shift to check on the hedgehog ahead of them.

Sonic had paused beside a tree, leaning heavily against it, panting with eyes glazed over again. “Sonic?” Tails called, hurrying ahead to catch up with him.

“What?” Sonic jolted upright again, eyes brightening but not clearing as they passed over Tails. “I’m fiiine,” he drawled, and staggered back onto the trail. Knuckles grabbed him by the arm to keep him from tripping down the hill on the other side of the path.

Tails glanced back to exchange a look with Amy, then sighed and tried to stick closer to his brother. Knuckles glanced back and gestured questioningly at Sonic behind the hedgehog’s back at Tails, who mimed coughing into his fist in response. Knuckles rolled his eyes, then silently exhaled and nodded.

All of them were unfortunately familiar with the way their friend would put up a front for them. As Tails had earlier recalled, it hadn’t been too long since they’d seen this kind of thing with him.

It fooled none of them.

The farther they hiked, the more it became abundantly clear that Sonic was getting worse, and the more Tails and the others worried. The hedgehog couldn’t walk in a straight line to save his life, instead stumbling in a sort of zig zag pattern back and forth across the trail, giggling here and there. He’d gone from being pretty quiet and tired out in the first half to jabbering nonstop in the second half, except it was almost pure nonsense coming out of his mouth.

“Looook, Tails,” he snickered, pointing shakily at a flicky in a tree nearby. “Toldja dragons’r real.”

“Sonic, that’s a flicky. And we’re literally friends with dragons. Remember Trip?”

“Ah, yyyyeahh!” Sonic laughed way harder than he should’ve, breaking into yet another coughing fit. “Y’know, I could probably breathe fire too, with how on fire my lungs feel right now.”

He staggered on ahead and proceeded to trip over a tree root.

Tails shot an anxious glance at Amy, then leaned closer and whispered to her, “Would you mind heading back and bringing the Tornado out here? I’d do it myself but I don’t want to leave him. Once you get it here, I’ll bring him home.” He bit his lip. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay!” Amy whispered back. “You got it. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Amy wasn’t quite as skilled as he was with flying the Tornado, but he’d given her enough lessons that he felt confident at least trusting her to fly it out a short distance. It would be worth it, to be able to take Sonic back home with ease and make him get the care he so desperately needed, whether he wanted it or not.

“Where’d Amy gooo?” Sonic whined a few minutes after she’d hurried off.

“She’s just getting something for me,” Tails told him, patting his shoulder reassuringly, although he jumped at how hot to the touch his brother was.

“Izzit a surprise for youuu?” The hedgehog smiled deliriously. “Tha’s cool. Happy birthdaaayy!”

“Thank you, Sonic.”

“Yerrr welcome! Hey… did you dye your fur or somethin’? Ya look way more orange than usual.” He peered at Knuckles and his eyes blew open wide. “Whoaaa, you too!”

Tails facepalmed. “Dear Chaos, he’s even worse than I thought…”

Knuckles looked back and forth between them, having clearly never dealt with a person as sick as Sonic currently was. For Tails, it had been a while, but he’d definitely experienced things like this before. He’d known Sonic for most of his life, had seen him at his highs and his lows. He picked up his pace to match Sonic’s, and Knuckles dropped behind slightly.

“Sonic, you really need to rest,” he told him firmly.

Sonic giggled. “Yes, I’m a pest! Egghead agrees with that!”

Tails facepalmed. “That’s not even close to what I said.”

Abruptly, Sonic jumped and pointed excitedly at a patch of sunlight ahead in their path. Probably the end of the path, Tails figured, but instead of saying that, his brother exclaimed, “Look! A giant duckling!”

“…What?”

“Izzo cute.” Sonic all but dragged himself up to the patch of sunshine and fell over into the grass. “Can I keep ittt?”

“Uh.”

“Please? Hey Knucklehead, can I keep th’duckling?”

“There’s no duckling,” Knuckles said bluntly.

Looking genuinely disappointed, Sonic shoved himself back to his feet and staggered up to the boulder with the view, the end of the trail indeed. “Taaaiiilllss, canna buy a duckling?”

“Sonic—”

“Whoaaaa, lookit th’vieeww!”

He’d been right, the view here was spectacular. There was no shield from the wind up here; they’d passed above all the trees. They could see hawks soaring below them, and in the distance, they could see the town they’d been in earlier as nothing more than a silent, tiny setup of buildings with microscopic moving specks that they knew were people and cars. For a moment, Tails paused as he surveyed the view. It was fascinating to see something like this and not be flying somehow.

Sonic was grinning in absolute delirium as he whirled sideways to see them, eyes half-closed. “See, wasn’t it worth it…” He frowned suddenly, stumbled, then started swaying. “Whoa.”

“Sonic?!” Fueled by panic and adrenaline, Tails realized what was happening, and lunged to grab the hedgehog by the wrist right before he keeled over— nearly off the edge of the cliff. Panting in suppressed fear, he pulled Sonic back up onto the boulder and sank to his knees, all but cradling his brother as he lay there, barely conscious.

“No more excuses. You’re burning up,” he said, hugging him close to calm his racing heart. “I sent Amy to bring the Tornado. I’m taking you home as soon as she gets here.”

Sonic blinked blearily up at him, then groaned and mumbled, “…Okay.”

Tails blew out a breath. “Good.”

“Jus’ one thing…”

“What’s that?”

“Can I still get a duckling.”

“…I’ll buy you one when it’s your birthday. Now stop talking and rest.”

Sonic grinned wearily, closing his eyes and resting his head down against Tails’s chest fluff. “Okay.”

—

Amy arrived shortly afterwards, and Tails carried his feverish brother up to the Tornado as it circled around them. He set him down in the seat behind the cockpit, then he and Amy switched out as Amy leapt back down to the boulder.

“We’ll head back on our own,” Knuckles called, waving to them. “Go on ahead.”

Tails waved back in acknowledgment, then set the course for the quick flight back to the workshop, barely a minute’s trip.

He thought he heard Sonic mumbling something behind him, but it was difficult to hear him over the wind. He hit a button to bring the overhead windshield over the seats (a feature he usually reserved for rainy days), and said, “What was that?”

“I’m sorry.” Sonic was slumped sideways in his seat, staring sullenly out the window.

Tails frowned as he returned his gaze to the path ahead. “Why are you sorry? You didn’t—”

“I wanted to give you a perfect birthday. After everything.” It was probably due to the sickness, but Sonic sounded downright miserable. “And I ruined it.”

Tails sighed. “You didn’t ruin anything. No one can control when they get sick. It was still a great birthday, Sonic.” He twisted around again and smiled, making sure Sonic saw him before he turned back towards the front. “Thank you.”

Sonic hummed a little in response, but said nothing.

—

They set down at the workshop, and Tails opted to leave the Tornado in the runway for a while so he could take Sonic straight inside and set to doing what he’d wanted to do all day: just taking care of him.

He settled him comfortably on the couch, brought him a couple blankets, made some soup, and brought him some orange juice and a couple slices of bread. After he’d eaten, Tails gave him some of the medicine he’d gotten from Espio earlier. Sonic still seemed kind of depressed, but he was looking a little better, at least, now that he was finally getting to rest.

As he nibbled on the bread, Tails sat down with him and handed him the orange juice glass. “You know,” he said slowly, beginning to smile, “I think I prefer this gift over the others.”

Sonic blinked at him as he accepted the glass carefully and took a tentative sip. “What… which… I haven’t gotten you anything since we got back.”

“Just…” Tails shook his head and smiled, then reached out and rubbed his head between his ears, like Sonic always did to him. “Just this. Being together. You letting me take care of you. I always like that.” Sonic stared back at him in surprise as he spoke. “You have no clue how much this means to me. How much I’ve wanted to do this, basically all day.”

The hedgehog sighed, but smiled back. “Sorry it took all this for us to properly hang out.” He shifted. “Although, as nice as this is… I’m not sure if you really wanna be this close. I might get you sick.”

In response, Tails scooted closer and hugged him tight. “I’ll take my chances.”

Sonic was still tense. “It’s on you if you do get sick,” he warned, although his tone was hardly serious and didn’t match with his affectionate grin.

“I know. Just shush it and let me hug you.”

“…Alright. You win this round, bud.”

💛-----------------the end-----------------💙

tagging, as requested, @star-stages and @yogacatdeskknit

120 notes · View notes

yoursweetheartsrevenge · 1 month ago

Text

Martin4Spider - 4Martin

Summary: There isn’t much that makes Jennifer happy these days. Her mum doesn’t understand her interests. Her friends can’t remember she doesn’t actually go by Jennifer anymore. Her little beasties and dance seem to be the only sparks of happiness in her life. That is until she finds herself experiencing the wonder and dangers of first love with a dark haired stranger who accepts her more than she accepts herself.

taglist: @sepherinaspoppies happy birthday, sweets! <3

dividers by @plum98

Warnings: smut, angst, description of insects (Spider loves her little crawlies), parental abuse (verbal), MINORS DNI, 18+

Word Count: 14.7K+

Author’s Note: Welcome to this two part series featuring Martin and Spider. This series will directly tie into the “It’s Amazing to Be Young” music video with part one featuring Martin and Spider falling in love and part two featuring their reunion. Interruptions and liberties were taken. This first part entails first love, first lust, and all the trials that come along with discovering who you are. Enjoy 🙂

4Martin

“Jennifer”

If she counted the rows right she would have a perfect square.

“Jennifer”

Even sides.

Perfect rows.

God, the symmetry was hypnotic.

“Jennifer”

She could barely hear the movement of Heather nor the sliding of the chair.

Spider singsonged in her head.

The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout.

“What the . . . are those . . . are those . . .flies?!”

Yeah of course they were. What else could they be?

“It’s Spider.”

She didn’t even bother looking up.

Down came the rain and washed the spider out.

“What?”

Her eyes cast upward to see Heather’s curly auburn hair laid out against her green sweater. She seemed to have wandered curiously beyond her space in the nearly empty store. Ms. Henderson was debating over two different creams as she did every week. Her little white hair was poking out from just beyond the shelves.

“My name,” Spider could see the judgement in the girl’s eyes. “Is Spider.”

Heather squinted watching Spider’s fingers slowly move the dead insects into formation. The look reflected disgust. She was used to the wrinkled faces and off put glances. Not a single person understood her fascination with insects, even dead ones.

She simply huffed at the dark haired woman.

“You better wash your hands before you do anything. Ugh, disgusting.” Her eyes rolled. She turned around in a huff.

She called out to Ms Henderson loudly speaking about her prescription that had been filled. Heather used dearie when addressing her which Spider always hated. Talking down to the elderly she felt was somehow condescending. She hated when people used pet names on her. Ms. Henderson always came in for yarn on the weekends for her projects. She got to talking to her. Despite her appearance and affinity for the most misunderstood living creatures the little elderly woman seemed to always smile at her offering her a kind word.

“Your makeup is so beautiful today.”

“You have such a sweet smile.”

“You seem happy. I hope something good happened.”

The silver haired woman never talked down to her so why should anyone do the same to her?

Spider always appreciated the little check-ins or compliments. She certainly received the opposite at home. Her mother had recently encouraged her not to be so shy, but had not felt the results of her suggestion would be so . . . drastic.

The teen girl had felt the overwhelming need to show her mother who she really was. The makeup had been “a bit much” in her mother’s own words. She knew what her mum would have preferred. Something that spoke to her former beauty pageant nature. A plaster of rouge and foundation followed by bright sweet colors, nothing dark and dangerous that Spider was drawn to. The name change her mum could ignore. In fact, Spider had stopped correcting her.

The worst bit had been the bridge piercing. The shouting had nearly blown out her ear that night. Her mum had called her terrible names, and threatened to send her away. That had caught her heart in her throat.

Away?

Where?

Her mother knew the thought of it frightened her deeply. She loved her life here in London despite all the things she struggled with. Her friends didn’t exactly embrace her new look and interests, but they were still kind to her even if they didn’t understand. She had her ballet classes, the one thing her mother seemed to approve of. Leaving that all behind for the unknown let her small voice return.

“I’ll be good.”

She hadn’t done anything more after that. Her next bit would have been a tongue piercing, but that had stopped. Instead her weirdness peaked through by researching bugs with library books and quick internet searches that had her smiling and biting her lip as if she had a crush. She loved learning new things about her favorite fixations. Spider also enjoyed finding little creepy crawlies outside, identifying them, learning what they liked to eat, feeding them, and sending them off in the best environment she could find.

She had a little jumping spider at home who would be very happy with this array of delicacies.

She peered up seeing the shadow of Ms. Henderson walking on by. She gave the teenager an encouraging smile. Spider knew she would see her tomorrow at around the same time. She even smiled back before casting her eyes back down to her little square and rows.

Up came the sun and dried out all the rain.

The automatic bell signaled the door opening.

Ding Dong

How long had she been focused on the flies?

Fuck.

Maybe she should actually pay attention to her work.

Spider piped up to look for a moment. Just a staggering shadow of a body heading toward Heather who was restocking or whatever it was she did to keep herself busy. Her focus returned to the little flies at her fingertips. She wondered absently how they had all died. Even why there were so many stuck between barriers, dried up and crunchy. Her breath let out pouting her lips slightly as if seeing how light the little buggies were.

Would they fly off their perfect square with a simple breath?

Her heart fluttered seeing how they stayed perfectly still.

Heather greeted the customer, cheerier than she would have greeted someone that wasn’t a regular.

She rubbed her thumb against the palm of her hand in an effort to feel something. Spider always got a bit anxious later in the evening and the softness of her wool fingerless gloves made her brain dance in a resounding comfort.

The sound of a male high pitched voice growing loud at Heather was not out of the ordinary. Heather could be a bit blunt in her approach to customer service. This didn’t seem like Heather’s fault judging by the complainants and tone.

She looked down at her fingernails wondering if she should paint them. She looked back up at the commotion. She couldn’t see much from her position. Spider held in a sigh instead moving the gum about in her mouth.

She could nearly hear Heather demanding she spit it out.

“Oh don’t be dramatic!” Her co-worker told the man.

There was a bit of back and forth. Spider wasn’t concerned about it. Those types of people usually stormed out and . . . hmmm . . . she could see he was young.

Maybe her age.

Dark hair.

Very pretty voice despite the tone.

Then he turned around.

He cursed.

Fuck.

The lingering longated fuck and pointing out their prices were high made her body tingle. Spider tried to tell her body to remain calm.

Her outer dark mysterious vibe should match her insides.

Calm.

Cool.

Indifferent.

Before she had altered her look she was a meek and mousey little thing who was afraid of her own shadow.

She couldn’t be Jennifer the push over anymore.

It’s why she had changed her name.

She wasn’t Jennifer anymore.

Be confident, She thought as she saw him move toward her.

Her eyes were down cast for only a moment lost in being the shy mousey girl when she saw he was in fact around her age, attractive as fuck, and exactly, EXACTLY her vibe.

Look up, fuck, he’s fit she thought, nibbling her lower lip before he could look up from under his side swiped hair.

Fuck.

He’s gorgeous.

Her mind reeled at that, but her face remained chilled. Her jaw moved chewing at the stick of gum. She could see a gleaming sparkle of a beautiful blue eye. Around it was dark red, bruised and bloody, a bit puffy.

God she’d go mad for that eyebrow piercing.

She was already going a bit mad internally for it.

He couldn’t see that she was squeezing her thighs together underneath the counter she leaned upon. She let herself stare, confidently as she promised herself, drinking him in. Spider anchored her reaction by squeezing her elbow a bit harder than she usually did, making little half moons with her fingernails.

He breathed out as he smiled.

“Hi . . .” It was a soft little whisper.

“Hey.” Her indifference floated between them.

He was still letting that peek of a smile through.

Her eyes cast sideways to the yarn at her station.

Spider thought about asking him if wanted to buy something.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” She was surprised how blunt he was. He shook his head before raking his hand through his hair. “Sorry . . . fuck, that was rude of me. Fuckin’ stupid.”

Oh no. He was adorable.

It made her snort as she chewed her gum.

He seemed to enjoy her reaction, letting his smile return.

“What I meant,” He paused as if deciding to choose his words carefully. “Your look. I like your look. The makeup and clothes and . . . fuck . . . everything. Sorry for being -”

“No, it’s alright.” She decided to let out. Not just for reassurance, but she meant it. “It’s actually refreshing to hear. Sometimes I feel like the wicked witch by how some customers look at me.” And my own mother, she thought watching as his expression turned baffled.

“They can fuck right off. You are fuckin’ stunning.” She smiled at him looking down at her little fly square. “I mean it. I’ve . . . yeah . . .all of it.” His tone was soft and genuine. He was moving closer. She almost wanted him to stop.

Don’t see how weird I am, she mentally warned.

“I like your look too.” She tapped her finger to her own eye, underneath as if addressing the wound on his face. “Even the bruised bit.” She rolled the gum in her mouth, raising her brow.

“Oh, right, yeah, just a hobby of mine.” He shrugged a bit.

Fuck he was getting closer.

“Dangerous one?” ‘Course it was. What a stupid question. “I mean it must be right?”

“Only when I lose,” He smiled that sweet little smile again. He was at the counter. If he looked down he would see the flies she gathered. “Or get carried away.” He was still staring into her eyes. “I’m . . . uh . . . Martin . . . Lefevre. Fuck.” He seemed displeased by his introduction, but she smiled to reassure him. His eyes seemed to sparkle as she showed her teeth. “Wow, you have a great smile. Not that you need to smile or anything. You can do whatever the hell you want.”

“I’m Spider.” Her voice was soft and full of hope he wouldn’t tease her. She wanted to say more, but she let the name linger between them.

“I love it. It’s very you. I can tell.” He leaned to the counter letting his hair fall to cover his eye again. His eyes cast downward at the little rows of flies.

She thought of saying something. Explaining what they were for. She didn’t need to. He moved a stray fly to make the square more even then it had been.

“So do you live around here or . . .”

“Yeah, I do. Something like that.” Her eyes fluttered as his gaze fell on her once more. “Do you?”

“Mmmhmm.” He hummed. “Moved here for my last school year. Parents split. I got stuck with dad in a new job.” She saw him shift on his feet.. “You work closing shifts?”

“Yeah. I like sewing and knitting so I’m usually in this section. It’s alright. Pay is shit, but it gets me out of the house. I’m homeschooled. My last year of school too. Can’t wait to be free.” Fuck that was the most she had shared with anyone in a good while. “Mum is a bit . . . well . . . she’s a bit much.”

He was absently moving the little flies, tapping them lightly. The conversation continued about school and she inquired about his hobby. Carjitsu. It was a bit dangerous, but he bragged he was good at it. She teased him a bit on his bruise. They talked a bit about her co-worker being rude to him.

“You like insects then?” He wondered. Her features flushed a bit. “Oh, I just thought with the flies and the name that maybe -”

“No, yes, I do. I just,” She paused letting her tongue poke the inside of her cheek. “People think it’s weird.”

“Fuck them!” He said, loud enough that it echoed throughout the store. “I think it’s cool. You have a spider or tarantula at home?” She shook her head sadly. “We should change that.” She grinned.

“Mum wouldn’t like that I think.” Spider knew she wouldn’t. She had begged for every animal under the reptilian and arachnid banner. Resounding nos were heard every time she brought it up.

“Well maybe I’ll get one so you have an excuse to come over to mine.” Martin grinned as if his plan was absolutely genius.

“Probably wouldn’t be allowed.” Definitely. Her mum had her eyes on her at all times. The chance of going out and getting caught frightened her. “But,” She nibbled her lip. “Maybe you could come to mine.”

“Oh, alright.” Martin seemed to be rendered speechless, blinking absently as he searched her face for meaning. “That could . . . that could work. I would maybe just need -”

“Yeah, ‘course. Give me your arm.” He offered it up without question. “One moment.” She held up her finger before dipping under the counter. She returned with a pen. She put the tip of it in her mouth, pulling the cap off, and spitting it across the room into a pile of yarn. The tip of the blue pen swiped into the soft flesh of Martin Lefevre’s arm. “This is my number. My cell phone. I have it on until about eight on non work nights. My mum makes me shut it off after eight. Don’t ask. But yeah,” She made a little blue heart at the end of the number. “Call or text before then. Maybe you could come over.”

She looked up. He was staring. Really staring. He seemed dreamy eyed especially considering she was touching his forearm still drawing comforting circles with her finger tips.

“Unless you -”

“I want to come over.” He said with zero hesitation. “I really want to come over. Before eight right? To call? Or text?”

“Yeah.” She sucked in her lip again. His eyes fell to her lips.

Maybe

Just maybe

He wanted to kiss her.

“Okay.” He nodded, not stopping his gaze on her sweet lips. “Yeah, ‘course. We’ll meet up and . . . yeah . . . it was nice meeting you Spider.” His eyes cast upwards to her dark eyes.

“You have to go?” Fuck. Little needy Jennifer slipped out.

“No, but if I don’t I’m going to look really pathetic standing here.” His eyes then danced across her taking her in. She let him because he seemed shy about it. “And I don’t want to keep you from closing up. I think I’ve overstayed my welcome with your co-worker.” He nudged his chin in Heather’s direction.

“No, just forget her. Stay as long as you like.” She wanted him to stay longer. Spider wanted to keep him all to herself.

“Nah, I should go.” He didn’t sound like he meant it. Martin shoved his hands in his pocket. “I don’t want you to get sick of me. Have a good night, love.”

His little sweet smile nearly turned into a grin of confidence as he left the store.

He was in her room.

There was a boy in her room.

Martin was in her room.

It was little small talk at first. Nearly as soon as her shift ended he had texted her and told her how wonderful it was meeting another weirdo like him. She could tell they were going to be friends. The more they talked the more butterflies built up in her belly.

They had talked about their interests. She prattled on to him about dance and insects. Her little projects and routines she enjoyed. He talked about music and his antics with carjitsu. His friends suggested he start making money in it. Spider was concerned about him and showed it in her texts.

He called her fuckin’ adorable.

She had saved that message in her mind.

Whenever she had a bad day or was nervous she’d remembered those capitalized letters on the screen of her Nokia.

YOU ARE FUCKIN’ ADORABLE

“This room doesn’t feel like you.” He noted peering around.

“Yeah, I know.” She plopped back on the bed.

“Well, I see pieces of you here.” He noted the insect portraits above her bed and the little skelton at her desk.

The room was a representation of Jennifer and by default her mum. She had a flowery bedspread that she laid on with dusty pink pillows. Her yellow teddy was certainly a very important part of Jennifer, having gotten it from her dad before he walked out. Spider hated to admit she also found comfort in the stuffie. Walls were deliciously white, absent of color or personality. The drapes nearly matched said bed spread.

“Could only manage the girliest insect.” She looked at the butterflies above her head by the headboard of her bed. “Otherwise I’d have black walls painted white with sketches of my favorite buggies.” Her fingers danced above her as if drawing in the air.

“You draw?” He wondered watching her fingers dance.

“No, but I could learn or get someone else to do it. There are so many talented people in the world.” She sat up looking at him with a smile.

“Not a talent in me.”

“Oh fuck off, Martin.” She said throwing the bear at him. He caught it, making her giggle. “You are plenty talented. You are amazing at carjitsu.”

“You’ve never seen me do it.”

“Yeah, but you brag about how many wins you get. You can’t win without being good.” She saw as he watched her smile and nibble her lip.

“Yeah, fuck, guess you’re right. I’m so fuckin’ talented.” He shoved the bear at her.

He stood up looking about. She tossed the bear, deciding to follow him. Spider felt a little self conscious that he was looking and poking about her things. He peered out the blinds.

“Your mum is -”

“We’ll be fine. She’s seeing a show with my auntie. She’s visiting this week.”

“Cool.” Martin mused. He looked down at her desk. His fingers rubbed over the entry to an insect encyclopedia that was replicated to look like it was from the 1800s. It was one of her favorite books. “This is cool. The art is really cool.” He turned going toward her perfumes. She sheepishly smiled delighted by his little observations even if they were a bit obvious. “You were wearing this the night we met.”

He grabbed at the little bottle.

“How do you know?”

“I could never forget it.” He sprayed a bit, rubbing it on himself.

“You really want to smell like me for the rest of the day?” She laughed.

“Why wouldn’t I?” He rubbed his wrists together grinning happily as if he had found some hidden treasure. “It’s what? Grapefruit?” She hummed in agreement. “I fuckin’ hate grapefruit, but . . . like . . . I love this. I couldn’t get it out of my head . . . or I guess nostrils.”

“Shut up.”

“No, come on. I’m serious. I . . .” He sat hard on the bed.

Spider followed.

“I told you. Right? I told you.”

He did.

She remembered the text.

I can’t get you out of my head, Spider.

She remembered her reply.

Neither can I, Martin.

It hadn’t even taken her long to respond.

Her fingers had worked as if they had been compelled.

Her heart had beat just as hard as it was beating now.

They both knew what was going to happen next. It was as if they always knew what was to follow a struggle of a confession like that. If they ever brought up those words to each other she knew how it would end. Still they acted sheepish and uncertain. Spider wasn’t sure if she should move first or let Martin take the lead.

They both knew they were attracted to each other.

They both knew they liked each other, but this dance seemed natural even if they struggled with it.

Spider decided for a moment to watch him squirm. Martin looked down for a moment before breathing and deciding to move. She was watching and wondering what it might feel like to feel his lips on hers.

She did not have to wait long after they locked eyes.

He leaned in.

She pulled him in closer.

Her soft hum against his chapped lips made him smile. She didn’t know why, but she opened her mouth wider in the kiss. He took that as a sign to dip his tongue. She pulled back a bit.

“Sorry, I’ve never . . .” She thought he might judge her as that slipped out.

Be floored by her admission to never having kissed anyone.

“No, it’s okay. Whatever you want to do. Pick the pace. I’ll follow your lead.” She felt his hand at the small of her back.

“Okay . . .” It was a small voice. Jennifer’s voice.

She let herself in for another kiss. He welcomed her with happy noises that made her heart jump. She reached for his hand to hold it, letting it envelop her entire hand. His hands were so large and comforting. Her other hand drew little circles on his backside. Martin’s breath gasped in her mouth at the touch.

“Mmmmm. . .” He moaned into her lips.

They continued like that for . . . well . . . she wasn’t sure how long.

It wasn’t long enough when he decided to break away.

She bit her lip looking at him after then away. Spider could feel Martin’s eyes on her.

“Alright?” He wondered.

“Yes.” Small voice again.

His hand pet the small of her back, comforting her.

“You could have told me. I wouldn’t have judged you.”

She shrugged.

“I just . . . it’s embarrassing I guess.” The fact that she had never kissed a boy or even been alone in a room with a boy.

“No, it’s not. It’s . . . you. You shouldn’t be embarrassed for being you.” His hand felt so good there. She leaned against his shoulder. His lips pressed to her temple. “I hope you realize how beautiful you are.”

Her eyes looked up at him, big and full of surprise.

“You think I’m beautiful?”

“Yeah,” He knocked her shoulder. “I called you fuckin’ gorgeous the moment I saw you. I don’t lie about those things.” Spider couldn’t help, but laugh at that. She liked the way she looked. Hell she could even admit to herself that she was pretty, but it was different when someone else said it.

Especially since she found Martin so attractive.

She reached for his hand slowly deciding to hold it gently for reassurance. The dark haired girl could feel his pulse pick up with something as simple as her touch. She marveled at how small her hand was in his large embrace. Her grip was strong though. She hoped it told him she felt the same.

He leaned forward to kiss her cheek lightly once. When he went in for a second kiss she turned her face so he would kiss her lips. He snort laughed before letting himself gently caress her cheek before leaning in again.

Fuckin butterflies.

“He likes you.” Martin declared.

One hand was on her head, soft and gentle, the other was on the head of the lizard, his lizard. She observed it’s little snout sniffing in her direction. His little tongue skated past his lips. Spider smiled loving the feel of Matin’s reptilian friend’s scales in her hands. His body was so textured and cool.

“Oh I love him!” She tipped her nose to the lizard’s. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” Her voice gave a high pitched delightful singsong at the words. She held her new friend higher watching as Martin released them both. “King of the world!” She raised him high as if declaring it throughout Martin’s dad’s house.

She caught Martin staring.

Spider only smiled.

She was seated on the counter between the kitchen and the dining room, pretty white boots and a short skirt on. Not an outfit she would ever appear in in front of her mum. She was glad her auntie was distracting her with girls' trips.

“I know,” She grinned, putting the lizard against her chest. Her gentle touch cradled the cold blooded beast as if it were her child. “I’m a bit of a dork.”

“Just a bit, then?” He grinned, stepping closer. His hand lingered to touch her thigh. His eyes asked for silent permission. Spider nodded, chewing at her gum. He caressed her softly. Her tongue stuck out at the creature trying to get him to do the same. “Not a lot of people like him. He can get a bit slimy.” She kissed the lizard’s head.

“Oh shush, he’s perfection.” An outcast a bit, but perfect all that same. “I think since you insulted him you should kiss and make up.” She leaned Martin’s pet toward his face, swirling his little snout about Martin’s lips. Martin stuck out his tongue as she brought him closer.

A laugh escaped her mouth as the lizard’s tongue snaked to tickle Martin’s.

He didn’t flinch at it.

“My Martin, so brave.”

She settled the creature on her lap watching as Martin looked up at her.

“I’m yours?” He was grinning. It made her heart flutter. She chewed on her gum feeling a heat in her cheeks.

“I dunno. Yeah?” The dark haired girl nibbled the corner of her lower lip.

How soon was too soon to say something like that?

Declare something like that?

Or wasn’t it so soon?

It had been months of them sneaking kisses and gentle touches. Months of visiting her bedroom, not tempting to move further. Months of listening to music and just talking for hours until she fell asleep with her phone snuggled to her chest.

“I am, you know? Even if you don’t want me to be.” He moved closer to her. His hand pet her thigh playing with the frayed bits of her black skirt. “You got all of me, Spider. Whether you like it or not.” Her hand absently pet the creature’s head. It made a contented noise digging its nails to her short skirt, making a home there. “Even Lucifer is staking his claim.”

“He smells nicer than you.” She teased. Martin’s brows raised. “Maybe I want him to be my boyfriend instead.”

“Oh yeah, you teasing me, little vixen?” She giggled as he spoke. He settled his hand at the small of her back while the other teased to bring her face close to him to give a wet sloppy kiss which turned to several until she was squealing for him to stop.

“Enough.” But when he kissed her neck like that, when he touched her face like that, the words melted from protests to wanting words. “Please . . . don’t stop.” A little beg with a hint of Jennifer. His hand teased up her skirt.

“That alright?” He had teased her there before, but always was polite about asking.

“I don’t think Lucifer is too keen.” The lizard was already clawing Martin’s arm in protest.

“Oh, come on,” He shifted the lizard before looking him directly in his little reptilian face. “Little cockblock.” Spider nearly choked on her gum. Martin scooped little Lucifer up letting him roam on the counter top in the kitchen, a leaf of lettuce there to catch his attention.

Her fingers played against her chin. She saw him suckle at his lower lip giving a wet pop. She knew him well enough to know what it meant.

“Come here.” She grabbed his chin pulling him in for a kiss that was deep enough to catch the scent and texture of her over chewed gum.

She moved his hand back under her skirt to the softest part of her thigh where his fingers squeezed and teased. She felt a wetness there that made her face burn bright. A small mix of elation and discomfort pressed past her lips.

“You okay?” He kissed the corner of her mouth before parting. His thumb was teasing closer to the wetness that seeped between her legs. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s -” His eyes cast down. She knew he felt it. His thumb was spreading it over her skin and against her lace panty line. “Oh . . . you’re okay.” He leaned forward to kiss her cheek. “No need to be embarrassed, love.” He nibbled his lower lip. “I was reacting the same.”

Spider couldn’t help herself.

Her dark eyes cast down to his crotch.

There was a prominent bulge there nearly begging for her attention.

She leaned forward letting her back off the wall. Her fingers teased there causing him to hiss and curse. Martin snatched her wrist, a bit harsher than she thought he might.

“Stop.” It was firm sounding. “You’re gonna make me cum.”

“What if . . . that’s what I want?” Her head tipped curiously, teasing him. His hair fell in front of his face only showing a pretty little eye that had once been so blue, but now burned with black desire.

“Not in my da’s kitchen.” He smiled then kissed under her chin. Spider played with the hair on the back of his neck. Her other hand pulled him toward her lips. She let herself fall into kissing him again. He pushed against her chest to pull her off. “I’m serious. We should stop or head somewhere else that will be less awkward.”

“Yeah, okay.” She nibbled her lip looking at him.

“That alright? My room?” His brows knitted together thinking it over, searching her face. “You . . . want to?” She nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, great, okay.” He thought over before aiding her descent from her seated position.

Her heels clicked against the tile floor. He grabbed her hand protectively pulling her into his bedroom, dark walls covered in band posters. She had no time to admire the outlook of the room she had only been in a handful of times. He was on her, kissing her in a way that was more uncontrolled than usual. Part of her felt those butterflies flooding every part of her. The other part was a bit overwhelmed by how greedy his hands were.

“Fuck, sorry,” She felt a wetness at his crotch that was rubbing against her. “I . . . shit . . .” He adjusted himself down there. “I got carried away.” He held her face in his hands looking down at her sweetly. “You are just . . . so gorgeous.” He kissed her forehead.

“Not like we have to stop.” Spider pulled his hands down letting him cage her on the bed. He searched her face before kissing her. “Can I see it?”

There was a curiosity in her tone as her hand snaked between them. She palmed his cock hidden in his trousers. Her tiny fingers fiddled with the button scratching at the metal. He sniffed into her neck before nipping her.

“I . . . fuck . . . please . . .yes.” He was so soft in his words. It was as if Martin couldn’t control himself around her, losing all sense of the English language.

She started to unbutton him. His zipper went down easily. Martin shifted so that his jeans were off. Spider palmed the tight black boxers, that perhaps weren’t tight, but instead his cock strained under the wet fabric.

Oh he was so hard!

She looked down as she rolled the fabric off. The head of it peaked out, red and raw from the friction of dry humping. He hummed at the reveal of it. Her fist gripped on base teasing the curled tuff of black hair. He whimpered so loud that she thought the sound of the deep base had made his cock move in her hand.

“It’s hard.” She mused. Her hand moved from base to just below the head. “Does this feel -”

“Yes!” He choked out. “Fuck, your hands are so soft. I’m . . .” He squinted. She felt him shutter atop her. “Please . . . stop, stop.” She removed her hand quickly. He let out a hard breath. Martin was trembling so hard he could hardly keep himself up.

“I’m sorry. You okay?” She asked hoping she hadn’t done anything wrong. Martin was looking down trying to concentrate hard on what seemed to be the pattern of her stockings it seemed. “I didn’t mean to -”

“No, God, you didn’t do anything wrong.” He breathed out then looked at her from under his hair. “Fuckin’ opposite in fact.” He leaned forward to kiss her cheek. “I just . . . I don’t want to be the guy who cums whenever his girl touches him.” She bit her lip a bit before chewing at her gum. “Don’t do that. You are so fuckin’ beautiful.” He tucked his thumb against her lower lip.

“We’re alone.” She told him, kissing his thumb. “I don’t mind if you . . . you know . . . too quickly. It’s . . . kind of flattering.” She blushed. “You find me so attractive you can’t control yourself.” Spider kissed Martin’s one cheek then the other.

“But I want to be able to satisfy you.” He protested between her onslaught of kisses. “I want to make you feel good.” He slowly crept his hand up her thigh teasing the frays of her skirt. “Tell me how to make you feel good, Spider.” Her heart fluttered at her chosen name. “Like this?” His hand squeezed her thigh tickling the white lace of her panties. She moaned into his ear.

“That feels nice.” She concluded. Her hand went to stroke his cock again. “But it feels good to touch you too. Make you feel good. I want to feel you in my hand. Will you let me?” He groaned. She could feel his nod as he fell into the crook of her neck.

“Fuck it, do whatever you want to me. I’m yours. Fuckin’ puddy in your hand.” Literally she thought.

They spent a few moments like that.

Her stroking his cock in a slow steady rhythm.

Him inching closer to her sex until he was stroking her too before . . .

“Oh!” She jutted forward feeling the tease of his fingers.

“Is it -”

“Yes, keep going. Don’t stop.” Martin eased one finger inside her at her request.

“I don’t think I can last much longer. I’m trying so fuckin’ hard.” He was breathing incredibly hard against her neck struggling to keep himself steady with his strokes of his finger. “You are so tight.” She blushed, feeling her hand squeeze a bit at his tip. “Oh fuck! God, please. Could you . . . stroke it faster? I really think I need to cum. I want to cum in your hand.”

Spider did as she was told, paying attention to squeeze his tip as if milking him free of his release. As she did, Martin curled his finger inside her. She cried out falling against his shoulder feeling the mattress under her sink from their weight. She bit into his neck feeling her walls flutter as he moved quicker.

“Shit, fuck, ahhhh.” His entire body shuddered as he came hard in her hand.

She felt a flood of arousal leak from her onto Martin’s hand. Her chest was heaving as she realized how hot his release was against her palm. She looked down at the smattering of watery white liquid. Her heart nearly broke when he hopped off the bed and out the door. Her hand was open with his release. Her mind reeled with anxiety wondering where he went off to. She heard the stream of water for a moment. Martin came back, bottomless with a flaccid cock swinging between his legs and a wet cloth in his hand.

He slowly wiped her hand. Martin leaned forward kissing her forehead as he took care of her.

“Lay back. Let’s get you cleaned up. You got work soon, yeah?” She nodded at his words watching him.

He patted the cloth on her thighs. Martin pulled her panties down fully to wipe her wet slit. She felt a different sort of wetness there as Martin leaned his head between her thighs.

“Martin, what are you doing?”

“Can’t help myself.” He kissed her at her sex again. “It’s so pretty. You want me to . . .”

She was about to give him permission to go ahead.

Spider was curious what the feeling of Martin’s lips at her cunt would do to her.

Her phone went off somewhere in the house. Spider quickly pulled up her panties, going to retrieve the device buzzing next to the half eaten lettuce leaf that Lucifer was munching on.

It tumbled into her hand seeing the missed call from her mum.

She called back quickly in a panic hoping not to be yelled at.

Her hopes were dashed with the first where are you.

Spider apologized. Jennifer was peeking through as she lied saying she missed her bus to work. Her mum was at the shop asking for her. She casually reminded her mum that she wasn’t supposed to start work for another hour. That seemed to calm her. She had headed by trying to get fabric for her try out outfit for a local dance production. Spider mentioned her excitement and thanks for the outfit adjusting her skirt.

She ended the call with an I love you.

No response back from her mum.

Her hands were shaking.

She hated lying.

Especially to her mum.

“I have to go.” She told Martin who was now dressed and sorting through his array of vinyl records. Some were tossed on his bed as if trying to decide on the song. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this too much.” She pulled down her top.

“What? Why not? Did you not -”

“It’s not that.” God her heart broke at his sudden uncertainty. “I just don’t want my mum finding out.” It was the first time she had admitted it out loud. Sure she had hinted at her mother’s strict beliefs and behavior, but never said it outright.

“Oh, alright, yeah, I don’t want you getting in trouble, love.” He shifted shoulders slumped. “I had a good time today.” He sucked on his lip looking from under his hair. “If we need to cool down a bit I get it. I would never do anything to hurt you.”

She could tell he meant it.

“Let me drive you to work.” He snatched his keys from his night stand.

“No, it’s alright. I’ll walk. I just need to change.”

She had some work clothes she had brought over. Spider admitted she wanted to look cute for Martin. Her work attire was more pants and tops not short skirts. She shifted into the bathroom with her small duffle shifting from her skirt to pants. Spider left the bathroom to see Martin there, arms crossed.

“You aren’t serious about walking?” His eyes were concerned.

“I just told my mum I was.”

“No, I’m driving you. It’s not safe to walk this late.” He tucked his keys in his pocket.

“I can’t be -”

“I don’t give a shit, Spider.” It was the first time he had raised his voice at her. “Sorry, I just . . . fuck . . . I’ll park far away and watch you go in. I’m not letting my girl walk alone in the dark.”

“Okay.” She said softly. It was the first peek of Jennifer she felt alright with. “But yeah park far off. I don’t want this to end.”

Spider leaned forward on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around him and peck him on his lips.

Fuck.

She was so in love with him.

Spider often found him staying to help her close.

It was woefully against the rules, but fuck if she cared. She’d play with the register, toss out of place yarn skeins at him, and gather up little bugs for Lucifer to snack on. They had cooled down a bit venturing more into friendly banter and quick panicked make out sessions on her breaks.

Her nerves were on edge for a few reasons in these last couple of months.

Her mother was more watchful of her movements. She ventured into the store to check up on her more. She always refused to use the name Spider asking for Jennifer. Martin always missed having an interaction. It was helpful that her mother always checked on her on the same day at the same time, on the dot.

Spider was anxiety ridden about her dance audition. It was coming up quickly. Her mother had finished the truly atrocious outfit. She had happily accepted, wearing it to her practices in the backyard on nice days and in the comfort of her own room on others. Martin was giddy about seeing her in it, but she had been so nervous about the whole thing she would bite her fingernails to the raw flesh.

“You’ll be wonderful.” He would smatter her with approving kisses. “You know why? Because you are so nervous. It means you want it. I’ve watched you practice. Every mark hit. You’ll be better than great.”

There was the last fact she had cooled things down with him.

Everytime he said something like that to her she just about lost it.

Her hands and body would wander or cuddle in that warm feeling flushing in her cheeks. Spider wanted Matin desperately. She thought if they were alone in a room together like they had been at his house she would surely not be able to control herself.

Her hand was against his chest chewing at a truly over-powering minty gum. His gray shirt smelt like her perfume. She had been all over him that night. He had on wrist bands with little metal spikes. Spider thought that those were so hot. He was laughing at her silliness.

“Mmmm you look beautiful today.” He stared into her eyes longingly, elbows set at the counter. She chewed at her gum rolling it in her mouth.

“You said that already.” He just grinned at her words.

“Yeah, and I’ll say it a million more times because it’s true. You are so beautiful, Spider. Every day.” He just looked at her. He didn’t move or fidget. Martin was so sure in those words as if they were the most truthful words he had ever spoken.

“Don’t.” Jennifer snuck in a bit. “Gonna make me lose control.” She hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but then she remembered the little teasing game they had played earlier with the yarn and the cat’s cradle.

His lips.

“I’d like to see that.” He moved his face closer, breath hot against her cheeks. The tip of his nose nudged the tip of hers. “You try so hard to keep it together. I’d love to see you let loose, like how you dance. You are so free when you dance.”

“I’d embarrass myself.”

“Never, not with me, love.” He pecked her lips quickly as if stealing a kiss.

“I . . .” She shouldn’t say the words next. Spider knew how dangerous the thoughts she had tingling on her minty breath were. “My mum is going to be away this weekend. Maybe you could . . . I dunno . . . come by. Stay?” She sucked in her lower lip looking away.

“You have your audition Friday.” She looked at him as he spoke. “She’s not going to be there for it?” There was a sadness in his voice. A sadder look when she shook her head.

“She only let me do it if she could make the outfit.” She watched his eyes settle on her as if realizing what she had said.

Him.

Her.

Alone.

This weekend.

“Is that what you want, sweetheart?” His hand sunk into hers. His two hands held her one so gingerly. “I would never . . . want to do something -”

“Yes.” She swallowed. The gum pushed between her teeth. She retrieved it. Spider rolled the pale white gum between her fingers all while looking at her boyfriend. “I want to. I want to, so much.” It hadn’t meant to be a confession on that sort of thing, but they both had it festering in their brains since he had kissed her cunt all those months ago.

Dry humping in the storage closet at her work wasn’t enough.

“Okay,” He nodded watching as she put her other hand on his. Both their hands were encased in one another. “I would. You know I would. Just tell me when and I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll . . .” She watched him look into her eyes. She could feel his pulse quickening in his hand. If she looked down maybe she could see his veins pulsing, but she couldn’t look away from his sweet devoted expression. “I want to stay with you this weekend, baby.”

Spider let her hands go from his.

She put them on either side of his face. His eyes closed slowly, muttering a curse as he did. She felt him lean into her touch.

She leaned forward to catch his lips before biting her own.

“This weekend I want you to be mine.”

Spider all but melted as Martin opened his eyes.

“I’m yours. However you want me.”

It was like the first time he was in her room.

Martin seemed nervous shifting on his feet.

“You know I don’t bite.” She giggled.

Spider was in a little pink sweater and a long dark skirt. She felt like letting Jennifer peek through. There was no makeup on her face. When she had opened the door Martin had been a bit taken aback, but immediately he had remarked how gorgeous she looked. She had pulled him inside effortlessly bringing him to her room. He had asked how her audition had went immediately, filling the void of conversation as they went upstairs. Spider had shrugged saying she did her best.

He was wandering. He teased a bunch of knick knacks she had acquired recently. There was a little necklace with a mouse skull painted in blood red. He toyed with it, smiling. She nibbled at her thumb, nervously. She was beginning to realize when she was nervous she had to have something in her mouth, gum, her fingers, whatever was around.

“What if I do?” He teased in response, peering over his shoulder. “Fuck, you are just amazing, you know.” He moved to her slowly. Spider marveled at how tall her boyfriend was. His all black attire minus his faded jeans made him look like a looming shadow. His hand, large and demanding, caught her cheek moving it up to look into his face. “Is it alright if I -”

“Yes.” She didn’t know what he might say, but she was ready for whatever they would do tonight and tomorrow.

Martin didn’t move.

It was as if he were stunned by the permission to do whatever he pleased. Instead he let her little face be held in his palm. When she couldn’t take the tension any longer her teeth caught the ties of his hoodie. She pulled at them gently. It made him move closer to her. She could feel him harden as she looked up at him. His breath grew heavier.

She moved him to sit on the edge of her bed directing him with the ties acting as a lease. He was stunned, mesmerized by her actions. Her hands went to his face dragging him down. Something inside Martin seemed to snap then. He took the lead then. His mouth found hers with ease pulling her into a dangerous kiss.

Dangerous due to the fact she knew this would lead exactly where they both wanted. His tongue was so warm and inviting. She opened herself to him, slotting her body so their sexes connected.

He was pulsating hard.

She was thudding with wetness with each devouring kiss.

Spider nearly tried her best to climb him.

She giggled when he lightly tossed her on the bed fully. He pulled off his hoodie then the t-shirt underneath. She grinned seeing his bare chest for the first time. There was a giddiness in her face that made him shrink.

“Oh no, please,” She reached between his pecs. She rubbed her nose against the planes. “Fuck, you are so hot. You smell so good.” She bit under his nipple. He twitched, gasping. Martin pushed her lightly.

“Fuckin’ minx, trying to make me cream my pants?” He knelt on the bed. His hand snaked to his crotch attempting to adjust himself. “Shit, I’m gonna have to . . .” She helped him take off the jeans before he could say anything more.

The bulge in his black boxers was a pleasant sight.

She kept her hands to herself so as not to disturb his resolve.

She lifted her sweater over her head, tossing it aside.

The bra she wore was certainly not a bra Spider would have worn, but a sweet pick for Jennifer. It was padded giving her a lift, but a blush pink. Plain looking as it was she always felt feminine and sexy in it. She bit her lip, sticking her hands uncomfortably under her armpits by the sudden coolness hitting her exposed flesh. She did in fact feel exposed.

He didn’t say anything.

Martin moved forward to cup her face again. He leaned down to kiss her slowly moving her until she was on her back. As they kissed he shifted her out of the skirt. He slotted himself so they were perfectly atop each other, clothed too much to do anything in that moment. His caged cock brushed against her wet panties, pink to match her bra. Her breath filtered out as he ventured to her neck. Her legs on instinct parted to give him better access.

“I’m ready.” She decided. His lips were travelling between her breasts, kissing the peaks making her whimper. She tried hard to find her words again. “Martin.” He didn’t seem to hear her. He was giving her love bites. “Martin.” She brushed her fingers in his hair. He looked up from under his lashes at her. His eyes were nearly black with unbridled lust. “I’m ready.”

“You . . . sure?” He swallowed, clearly nervous. Spider nodded. He shifted on his elbows. His eyes checked her over. He swallowed again.

Martin shifted, grabbing his wallet. Inside was a condom that he squished between his fingers as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. She watched his uncertainty again. Spider blinked, deciding to sit up.

“You oka-”

“I’ve never done this before.” Martin admitted staring at the condom still snug in its wrapper. “Hand jobs, blow jobs, other things, yeah, but just . . . not sex.”

Spider blinked a little shocked. Martin struck her as an experienced guy. He was well lived. He had travelled. He had friends. She knew he had had other girlfriends before. He was a friendly sort of bloke who enjoyed life. But he had never done this before?

She leaned toward him and wrapped her arms around him. She pressed her semi nude body against his back kissing the crook of her neck. She felt between the planes of his chest feeling the softness and hardness there. There was something so pure in his admitting this right before the act.

“It’s alright.” She assured him with tiny kisses. “We can learn together.”

Her hands slowly touched the condom wrapper in his hand. He looked up at her, her lips so inviting. He pecked them. Martin hummed through his smile. Slowly they took his boxers off, His cock stood straight to attention. Her curious hands leaned forward to pump him, making her boyfriend curse and a bit of pre-cum leak.

They struggled together to open the condom. They giggled, cursed, and grew more impatient by the moment. She aided rolling the thing over his tip then down further.

“Does it feel alright?” She wondered, kissing his neck watching as he pumped himself with it on.

“It’s tight, but not uncomfort.” Martin looked at her then down at her chest. “You want me to take the bra off or do you want to keep it on?”

“I think I’d like you to take it off. I want you to play with my tits.” Spider ventured into dirty talk letting Martin grin like a lovesick fool.

She wondered if he was.

They shifted their bodies so she was seated on the bed and he was on his knees. He bent forward to unclasp two of the three metal loops. He struggled with the last loop making a joyous sound once the last unclasped.

“Oh fuck, I think I broke the third clasp.” He realized.

“Doesn’t matter.” She didn’t even let him see her tits.

Spider was on top of him letting her lips devour him once more. She could feel her nipples harden as she rubbed them against his smooth body. He struggled to push her off. After a few tries he finally did. She was lazily looking up at him from on her back. His eyes shamefully fell to her rounded perky breasts.

“They’re perfect.”

“Not really. One is bigger then the other and I have this weird beauty mark on - oh fuck!” He was sucking on her smaller breast. Nearly the whole thing fit in his mouth. Her hand was in his hair. She could feel his tongue lazily lick as he sucked and bit at her tit.

Spider let herself enjoy the moment as he focused his other attention on the other breast. She gave him reassuring pets. Her body humped upward, needing release. God her panties were soaked. She wiggled free of them as he lavished her breasts.

“Please, Martin, I want you to . . . mmmmm . . . fuck me.” The curse was out of character for her, but brought his attention to her.

“Okay.” It was such a soft word on his innocent looking face. His hand snaked between her legs catching the flood of wetness there. “Fuckin’ Christ. You are dripping.” Her face flushed. “No, no, it’s really good. My cock has to fit inside you so the wetness -”

“I know.” She didn’t have much in the way of sex education from her mum, but she had been taught what the act was.

Penis into vagina.

She had also managed to sneak some looks at educational books in the library when her mother wasn’t watching as well.

“Will it hurt?” She wondered.

Martin was alining his cock to her entrance. Looking at the head of his cock she wondered how it would fit inside her. His eyes flicked to her.

“I’ll go slow.” He pet the side of her face. “If you need me to stop I will. I’d never do anything to hurt you.” She kissed his thumb.

She felt him shift. Begin to move.

“Martin,” She blinked up at him as he paused. “Could you . . . could you call me Jennifer? When you are . . . inside me? I want to see something.” Her eyes blinked away tears. She wondered if she just hated that name because it was one her mum gave her. Or maybe she just didn’t feel like Jennifer.

Right here, in their intimacy she felt like her old self.

She felt as though Jennifer and Spider could live in harmony.

Two personalities fighting for control over her little body.

“‘Course,” He leaned forward. She felt his tip tease along her lips down there. “Jennifer.”

Butterflies.

At her name.

Her heart skidded in her chest so beautifully.

Slow.

His tip, bulbous and beating, pressed inside her. The stretch was utterly painful. Her face scrunched. Her mouth let out a pained whimper.

“Stop.” She whispered out.

“Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He pulled his cock out immediately. He watched her face as she settled down. “Fuck. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She said sniffling. “Could you maybe tease me here?” She pushed the little tip of her pinkie against her clit. “While you go in?” Martin looked at it uncertainly for a moment.

“Yeah. But again if you -”

“I know. I really want to do this.” She assured him. Spider wanted him to know that so badly.

Slow.

Slower.

He teased her slowly stroking her clit as he pushed in. The balance of the painful stretch and the unending pleasure mixed together let it feel easier. He was right. She was so wet that he nearly slipped the whole head of his cock inside her with ease. He slowly pushed out then back in a few times. Only the tip of his cock watching her face attempting to judge how she was feeling.

“You are really tight.” She saw his Adam’s apple bob. “Does it feel good?” The little strokes with his fingers went in time with his slow fucking of her cunt.

“Yes . . . you can put more in. I think . . . I think I’ll be okay. As long as you keep pressure there.” Spider watched Martin’s face. His eyes were so black. She felt his tip go in further.

He was slow, but she can now hear with each small thrust the wet sound of her pussy. He was making her wetter with his thrusts and the pressure on her clit. Her hands reached up to bring him to her face. His lips curved with a gentle hum as she kissed him. He went deeper inside her until it was half way in. He dragged him out slowly.

“This okay?” She realized his finger wasn’t on her clit anymore as he pumped.

“I think so. Yeah.” He hummed against her neck as she spoke. She felt butterflies in her belly. She moaned at each drag inside her. “Martin.” Spider held onto him as he continued to slowly fuck her.

Her hands journeyed down to the dimples right above the curve of his ass. She pushed him a bit, encouraging deeper thrusts. He moved a little faster.

“Fuck!” He paused, tip on the way out of her. “I’m sorry. I’ll go slower. The sounds you are making are just . . . so God damn pretty. It’s making me want to cum.”

When he began moving again he was slower. She missed the fast pumps. As soon as that thought left her head he began moving quicker. Martin was breathing harder. His thrusts were verging on erratic and uncontrolled. She was whimpering hard, clutching him.

“Jennifer.” He whispered, pumping into her. “Fuck. Oh God.” He pushed himself all in.

Fuck.

It hurt.

Fuck.

It felt good.

Spider was too lost in the pleasure to note the pain. He dragged himself out before a series of curses erupted hard and fast from his mouth. She watched his face squint. His body pushed down as he began to tremble uncontrollably. She felt him collapse on top of her. There was a wetness and suck of spit retreating into his mouth. His body was shaking.

“Fuck. Shit.” He was sniffling. “Oh fuck. God damn it.” She watched him wipe his wrist across his eyes, slightly bruised from an earlier fight. “Don’t . . .” She saw that he was crying. Spider moved his hand away seeing he was really shaking and crying. He sniffled. “I didn’t mean to.” Spider wasn’t sure what that meant, but she brought him down for a kiss before kissing under his eyes.

“You are perfect. My perfect, Martin.” She dreamily looked at him.

“You didn’t cum.” He noted.

“There’s lots of time to - oh - Martin - what are you -” Her words drowned into moans.

He had shifted himself out of her, replacing his cock with his tongue and lips.

“Making you cum.” He said then got to work.

They had the whole weekend to explore each other.

But she would never forget the first time.

When Martin had cried after he came and he had called her by a name she never thought she was.

She pushed slowly into the tree.

The knife etched out the outline of the heart. Fuck, the tree’s bark was a bit rough to bury into. Her eyes fluttered to the two names.

Martin 4 Spider.

A very pretty and well designed heart encased their names. She focused on making sure the outline of the heart was clear. She wanted everyone to know Martin Leferve belonged to her. It was then she noticed he was staring.

“What?” Her shyness peaked through.

No longer a bit of Jennifer.

She felt her two selves beginning to mold into one.

“Nothing.” He mused.

“I have a knife.” She said twisting a bit into the tree as if offering it as a threat. “You should tell me.”

“Oh, threatening me, are we?” His smile grew wide and mischievous.

“Maybe.” Her tongue snaked out. “Just tell me why you are looking at me like that.”

“I . . . fuck . . . I don’t know, love. You are just so beautiful and I can’t believe you’d give a bloke like me the time of day let alone let me fuck you.” Her face reddened a bit. “And I’m just thinking about how lucky I am to be even looking at you. How fuckin’ cute you look with that knife.” He brushed her hair behind her shoulder. “How you look so beautiful with no makeup at all.” He leaned down to kiss her neck. “How much I want you again and again and again . . .” Each again was punctured by a kiss at her throat.

“Martin.” Her voice squeaked.

“Spider or do you want -”

“I’m both.” She told him. He didn’t seem to realize what that meant to her. His hand slowly lowered her knife to her side.

The words were buzzing at her lips.

Those three little words symbolized by a heart around their names held tight in her throat threatening to be forced out with each little kiss.

If she said them in this moment after their first time it would be dreadful.

Spider knew that.

That feeling of genuine love and understanding was growing inside her, but she needed to be sure.

It couldn’t just be hormones.

She had to come down from this high.

They made out in front of the tree until Martin huffed out a series of curses.

“God, love, you drive me mental.” His hands were settled at her hips. She only smiled, lips kiss swollen.

“Are you going to sleep over?” She tipped her lips to kiss under his chin. “We could fool around again and -”

“Yes. I want to stay. You sure your mum -”

“Very sure. We can be as loud as we want to be. And I want to be loud.” Her hand reached low to his crotch. “It makes you really hard.” He was verging on a full erection just by touch and kisses.

“‘Course it does. You make heavenly noises. Fuck . . . I can’t hold it.” With one hand he fiddled with the button and zipper fumbling them before fumbling his cock out. Her hand wrapped around it, finding the familiar rhythm he enjoyed.

“Do you want me to suck you off?” The curiosity lingered off her tongue.

“No, it’s okay. Your hand is plenty.” He breathed into her ear still feeling her pump.

Her lips pouted a bit unsure why he hadn’t taken her offer.

“Why not?”

There was a pause as her hand slowed. He whimpered at the slowness of her movement.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t. I offered, Martin.”

There was a little tremble in his body at her words.

“Do you want my mouth around your cock?”

There was silence even as he twitched in her hand.

“No.” Spider felt shame at the denial again. “Not here. Let’s go back to the house. Then you can do whatever you want to me. Suck me off, ride my face, let me fuck your pretty pink cunt. I don’t care. I want to spend every second I can with you. If you just want to snuggle in my arms I’d love that too.”

Love.

A little, big word that filled her heart to the brim.

She put him back together, cock inside his jeans even though the erection seemed a bit uncomfortable.

Spider let her arms wrap around him to snuggle and feel him.

He was so warm.

He was all hers.

Those words were true in her heart.

She loved Martin Leferve.

She never loved anyone as much as she loved him.

The question remained, would this love last forever like she hoped.

Spider decided waking up wrapped around his body, arms and legs, was better than any feeling in the world. She was clinging to his form, all wrapped up and cozy.

He was so warm even as she snuggled into the sweat and stench of his body. He smelt so good to her. Her little kisses made him huff out in his sleep. He was clad in only his boxers. She was all neatly tucked in his grey t-shirt. She scrunched her nose against the side right below his arm pit. Spider nipped at him.

“Ow.” He half groaned peering at her with one open eye.

She looked at him, eyes innocent and large. Her teeth lightly scraped his flesh as she suckled.

He had the same expression on as last night.

When she was going down on him peering up with her big eyes.

He had lost himself to her nearly immediately.

She had whined about wanting him inside her, but had struggled a bit getting hard again after his cock was in her mouth.

Now she snaked her hand to palm his boxers.

“No trouble here.” She palmed the underside of his balls. Martin mumbled a curse.

“Just a little effort needed last night. I got you what you wanted.” He chuckled.

Martin seemed to have been eager to have her again. They had experimented in some foreplay activities managed another fuck once he had himself going. It had tired them both out. Spider had been cold so she had tucked his shirt over her head.

“You look too good like this.” He pulled at the fabric of his own shirt draped over his girlfriend.

“You said that last night.” She kissed under his chin still palming his growing erection.

“Not a liar. Fuck. Please let me fuck you again.” His cock was twitching. She could feel the heat and the wetness there. It made her sigh and grind her wetness into his thigh.

“You want to?” Her voice nearly purred. Martin was panting. The English language no longer had meaning on his lips. “I can ride you. Would you like that?” The panting only grew more frantic as his hand slapped against her end table for a condom.

His eagerness made her giggle as they rolled it on. She hadn’t bothered to put panties back on last night as her boyfriend’s thigh had been plenty warm for her. She settled on him rocking herself on his cock.

Martin continuously whispered her name as his hands fumbled for every inch of her. It was as if it were his first time. He didn’t know where he should focus on so she helped. One hand at her hip, the other on her breast kneading it through the shirt. His hand on her hip snaked lowered to gently rub her little bud making her squeal pretty noises for him.

“Can you hold on as long as you can, love?” He was huffing as she spoke as if he was so close to the edge. “I really want to go as long as possible.”

“I can try.” His voice was sweet. His cock was sweeter, throbbing wildly inside her.

He continued to whimper as he grew closer to his edge. She kissed him, unsure if it made the situation harder for him. He was still hard. She could feel that. The discomfort of him stretching her had slowly been dissipating with each thrust. He held onto her breathing hard and scrunching his eyes.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” Her hips had been moving gently in time with him. She smiled against his lips letting a giggle loose as her hips swiveled slightly. His cock head nudged at a spot inside her.

“Oh god! Fuck! Right there.” It made her body tingle. He nudged that spot again. Her voice grew louder, higher, uncontrolled as her own body chased him to hit that spot inside her again. “Don’t stop. Please. Martin . . .” After his name the words turned into lewd horrid moans.

He squeezed her bum as she chased that high over and over until the orgasm took her over as if a woman possessed. Her body arched in response, not able to control her volume or the trembles that coursed through her body. She barely had her eyes open to see Martin orgasm. He was panting uncontrollably. As he came down from his high he pulled her close, kissing her neck.

“Did I hit the spot?” He managed to breath out.

“Yes, what was -”

“G-spot. It got you there faster. Selfish of me, but I really couldn’t hold on any longer. You were fuckin’ screaming, love!” He laughed. She grinned, a blush roaming her cheeks. “And don’t go being embarrassed. I fuckin’ loved it. I love it when you are . . . real. It feels real, you and me. Just our bodies, together.” He kissed her cheek. His cock was soft snuggled inside her. She nudged her nose into his neck.

“I never want to leave this bed.” She wrapped herself around him. Spider grabbed the bear from the floor, snuggling it with them. “Mmmmm . . . I wish you could stay.”

His smell. The smell of sex. The smell of Martin made her want him again. She kissed his lips, licking the corner. He looked at her. He was watching her tongue snake back.

“Oh,” She felt him twitch inside her, maybe even harden. “You want to?” Her tongue tucked over her upper lip to challenge his resolve. He dove forward to kiss her again, holding her face letting his own tongue tease her.

She could feel his cock shift again when the phone rang.

The landline.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Spider shifted off her needy boyfriend, freeing his cock. He moaned as she rolled off the bed.

“No, please, stay.” It was a soft whimper that only made her do just that.

But.

What if it was her mum?

At that thought she raced into the kitchen to grab the corded bright green telephone on the wall.

The voice was unfamiliar asking for her.

Jennifer.

She listened to the older woman with the thick Irish accent on the phone after she confirmed who she was. Her smile grew.

“Oh yes! Thank you! Thank you! You will not be disappointed. I swear I’ll practice every day and - yes Ma’am - I will. Yes. Of course. Sundays at 8am. I’ll be there. Yes. Thank you again! Thank you so much! Bye!” She heard the line click.

Spider stared down at the phone feeling her body shake again.

“Good news?” Martin had his pants on, but she could see the uncomfortable boner as he adjusted the sweats.

“I got it! I’m in the show! Backup, but yes, I’m in!!!” She nearly jumped for joy.

Spider lunged to hug Martin. He caught her immediately.

“I’m in the show! I’m in the show!” She couldn’t stop saying it. Pride welled up inside her.

She knew she would never be happier than this moment, in Martin’s arms being acknowledged for the thing she loved the most.

Spider had overworked herself.

Martin knew this.

“Just go wild, love. I don’t need to see exactly what you are doing.”

It had been a month or so since she had gotten into the show. It was proving to be a bit harder than she imagined. Twice her mother had threatened to not let her continue. She was lacking in her studies at first, but she had graduated now. There were no studies to concentrate on. She had long talks with Martin at night about her concerns.

She hated that they hadn’t had sex again.

Spider knew he wanted to as much as her, but she could not risk her mother catching them.

Her mother was out for the day with a group of her church friends.

“Oh alright.” Her smirk was meant to be stunning. Seeing him in the black sleeveless shirt was draining her resolve.

How had she not thrown him against the wall the moment he entered her bedroom?

She turned on the boombox that contained her favorite album. Her body moved in time to the music as he sat transfixed on the bed. She shook out her hair. Her hand reached for him. He immediately understood. He mirrored her every move swirling with her.

They danced to every song on the album.

Once the album repeated, she leaned forward to catch his lips. Spider held his face, unable to stop her body from wanting him. Her mind had raced with the idea that her mother would know she was no longer a virgin, but her fears did not prove true.

Nothing had changed. Well not nothing.

Ever since then she knew she had fallen in love with Martin Leferve.

Ever since then she knew she couldn’t tell him.

Even as the wetness grew between her legs.

Even as her tongue snaked to battle his tongue.

“Hey,” He said softly, parting from her. Spider played with his black locks searching his pretty face. “I actually have something for you.” He pushed off from the dark green carpeted floor. He went over to his duffle which he tended to bring over in hopes of sleeping over.

She sat cross legged watching him in her little black leather skirt and white long sleeved button up. He retrieved a shoe box. She shifted watching him intently. He saddled up beside her to show the tarantula slowly crawling on the cardboard bottom.

Spider stared at the spider.

The legs moved softly crawling up the side of the box. Her eyes were wide with wonder at the creature. She had only seen something this beautiful in her books. Her mother would never let her touch let alone own such a curious little creature.

“You’ve been working so hard.” He said, voice clear to let her know he saw her. Martin saw what she was trying to do. Her little hand dipped inside the box letting the fuzzy legs crawl onto her knuckles. “I want to give you a little companion when I’m not with you.” His thoughtfulness nearly made her cry. “I don’t want you to be lonely, Spider. You don’t deserve that.”

Her eyes, full of wonder and love, looked up at him.

“I love her.”

“You can tell it’s a girl?”

She excitedly brought him to her bed, settling the creature down between them. Spider pointed out the little underside of the female. Her mouth moved quickly to add with all the facts she knew about the creature before them. Martin asked questions and patiently watched her excitedly look over the creature.

“She is so cute.” Her index finger tickled its little head, fuzzy and warm.

“She have a name?”

“The only name I can think of is Martina. It’s wildly unclever and -”

“I love it.” She looked up from the spider to him. He was looking at her in that way that made her cheeks burn. Spider thought he might say . . .

Her fingers touched the edge of his scalp. He leaned in nearly purring at her touch. Spider leaned forward kissing him.

They kissed.

And they kissed.

Until her heart was racing with nerves that her mother would arrive home.

He helped her find a hiding spot for the tarantula and a plan on how to feed her. There was a pet shop next to her work that had crickets.

Spider kissed him again before he left.

Her lips were burning for more.

Her body needed him.

“Don’t do that. Don’t make me want to stay.” She was balling up his shirt in a way that she could feel his heart thunder under her fist.

“But I want you to. I can’t help it.” Her lips burned to tell him.

TELL HIM.

TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM.

Instead she kissed him again whispering for him to go.

It was official.

She could not control herself.

Her body yearned too hard for Martin Leferve; she nearly wished they had not had had sex that day all those months ago. Spider had found herself touching herself more often and even sending dirty texts to her boyfriend. She’d throw the phone aside and blush terribly.

Words whirled in her head at the notion of her cravings growing stronger.

Slut.

Whore.

Disgrace.

She wasn’t though. Spider knew this was natural. It was natural to crave someone else’s body. Especially the way she loved Martin. He didn’t seem to mind her little messages. He would check in on little Martina, who was thriving in her little box.

But the waiting.

The constant need.

It was driving her up a wall!

She was frightened her mother was catching on, but as the days grew and her fantasties helped her less and less, she found herself unable to remember why she cared so much about what her mother thought. Instead she found herself asking him over.

Her mother was out.

She didn’t think anything of it.

Spider didn’t think much these days except how much she needed him.

Not only his body, but she craved his acceptance. Not many people accepted her. Not her mother. Not those she called friends. Not even those at dance. Her hard work was praised, but there were always little comments.

“You’d be much prettier if you smiled.”

“You are such a natural beauty, why do you put on so much makeup? It makes you look . . . older.”

“What’s that metal thing in your nose? You are too sweet of a girl for that sort of thing.”

Her Martin would never downgrade her to silly things like that. He liked her because she was strange and silly and danced when it caught her and loved insects.

He accepted her fully.

“Whoa!” Her lips were on him before he even crossed the threshold. “Didn’t . . . realize . . . you . . . were so . . . oh fuck.” She kissed him between every word. Her smile was uncontrolled. He lifted her up. “I won’t question it. My little doll.” He gave her a great big kiss before swinging her onto his back and up the stairs.

Hands.

Arms.

Legs.

It was all a blur as they took in each other. His tongue was doing things to her she couldn’t even imagine. On every part of her she wanted him. He complied with every request. They barely talked except for a few directional instructions to make each other feel better. She barely knew what was happening, only that he was making her feel good.

“Martin. . .” When was the last time she said his name like this? Maybe to herself when she was touching between her legs. But now he was there instead of her hand. His tongue so buried within her she thought - “MARTIN!” She screamed, feeling a release so earth shattering she barely knew how to contain herself.

“It’ll feel nicer like this.” He whispered.

He was inside her.

Slick.

Raw.

Real.

Here.

His motions were rapid fire. It was as if that release was pulsing through her still. She could not stop herself, nude and trembling, from clutching his body. Why couldn’t life be like this? Why couldn’t she stare into her boyfriend’s face and feel him ram into her?

It nearly broke her. Not the motions of him. Not the hardness of his cock. Not even his soft tender body burying himself inside her as he let out a series of undercontrolled moans. She broke because she could not imagine life without him. She broke as he released onto her inner thigh. She felt him move away, but pulled him down for another kiss.

“Miss me that much?” He smiled against her lips, tucking his nose to hers.

“Always miss you, baby.” She might have cringed at her own use of the word baby, but felt too good to feel anything else.

“You know I don’t think you could miss me more than I miss you. Don’t think any person could.” She swallowed, watching his face with curiosity as he spoke. She admired how good he looked naked and on top of her. “You don’t believe me, do you?” She laughed. He grabbed her and rolled. “I think about you constantly. Hell sometimes I get a boner when doing carjitsu cause I can’t stop thinking of you. The contact and the aggression . . . it makes me think about our first time.”

“Our first time?”

“Yeah, we wanted each other so bad, but you know,” He had fallen off the bed, on his knees while she was higher up on the bed. “Now I’ll be thinking about this. The best sex I’ve ever had.”

“Can’t be that.”

“Can so. Cause I said it. I felt it. What’s that saying? Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” He kissed her hand looking up at her.

“Absence makes your dick harder.” She said, a hand on his chest running between his pecs to the flab of his belly. He squirmed a bit. She could see his dick was getting harder. “Just need to touch you and you are at attention for me.”

“Told you I want you. Not a liar.” He moved forward letting his tongue do the talking. She traveled with him on the ground.

She was on top of him lining herself up to him, but she felt him curse and his sudden release. Spider laughed, not at him. She was so happy. He rolled her over so she was flat on her back. She was giggling like mad while he peppered her with kisses lightly scolding her for laughing, but smiling all through it.

Now.

Now would be the perfect time to tell him how she felt.

Instead she felt breathless as he moved to put his white sleeveless shirt back on and pants. It was a singular he was about to leave. Spider grabbed his shirt before he could. She threw it on modeling it for him.

“Need this to leave.” She teased.

Martin didn’t seem mad. He sighed and plopped down on the carpet. She pulled on plaid shorts she wore to bed. She lifted the shirt to her nose to sniff.

Sweat.

Deodorant.

Him.

Pure Martin Leferve.

He stared at her as she sat in front of him. His eyes were so blue. Spider moved closer as a predator would. He did not stop looking at her lips the whole time. He was enchanted with her, she thought. Her heart thudded wildly at the idea that someone could want her this bad. Some days she felt as though her own mother wouldn’t mind if she weren’t around.

She wasn’t a burden to Martin.

“You want me.” Her voice said softly.

“Yes.” It was nearly a hiccup, so soft she might have barely heard him if she wasn’t so close.

“Every part of you?”

“Yes.”

“Eyes,” Her two index fingers pressed just below his eyes at the soft skin there. “Nose,” She gave a tantalizing lick up the bridge. His lips breathed out a gasp. “Lips,” Her fingers traveled to trace his lips. He puckered to kiss her. “Tongue.”

She stuck out her own tongue. Spider licked the palm of her hand.

He mimed her as when they danced.

Her heart thudded.

Why was this so sexy?

He was watching her as he licked his hand. She was encouraging him to follow it down her arm.

She wanted to tell him.

She NEEDED to tell him.

Instead other needs outweighed themselves. Her petite body was on him again, caging him so he couldn’t leave.

“Oh, you trying to keep me?” Yes, she was. She was so selfish. Her kisses could keep him here she thought. He could stay with her forever -

Screaming.

Hands.

They were torn apart.

NO.

“Get out of my house!”

Her mother.

When had she -

“You’re not welcomed here!”

That wasn’t true. Martin was welcomed wherever she was. He hit her closet door with a thump. Her heart was thudding for different reasons now. Her mouth fell open watching the scene unfold.

This couldn’t be happening.

Why was this happening?

Why was she hurting him?

“Nice to meet you too.” Martin mumbled as her mother pushed him out of her bedroom. No, he belonged here. She couldn’t.

Her mother stared at her.

The look of disappointment let soft protesting buts escape her bewildered mouth.

Down.

Down the stairs. He protested. He never wanted to hurt her. Honest to god he had said. Martin never hurt her. She tried her best to tell her mother this. Tell her to stop.

“Mum, leave him.” She knelt on the stairs sticking her head between the dark metal bars.

He was already gone.

Spider thought that maybe she'd never see those blue eyes again. She’d never feel him again.

Nobody would ever accept her again.

“I’m sending you away this time.”

No.

Her head shook.

She couldn’t.

“Please . . .” it was so soft she barely heard herself.

“You are a disgrace.”

“No, I’m not.” He had wanted her. Her mother didn’t. “Please. I’m not . . . please.”

“The makeup is washable. The makeup and the piercing I could handle. We could get rid of those things, but this boy . . .” She sneered. “He’s the type to get you knocked up and stuck in a situation you aren’t ready for. Give you diseases. Is that what you want, Jennifer? You want to be riddled with SEXUAL diseases? Be pregnant and alone? Because he’s the type that would -”

“YOU DON’T KNOW HIM.” She cried out. Spider was crying now.

“I know him. I know his kind very well.” She stuck her finger upstairs. “GO pack your things and don’t go trying to talk about your dance performance. I’ll call and tell them what happened. I’m sure your auntie would be happy to take you in until you get your head on straight.”

She couldn’t breathe.

She couldn’t think.

Her body was shaky. The words her mother continued to say were all hateful and untrue. He loved her. He hadn’t said it, but she knew it was true even as her mother told her he didn’t. She let herself feel numb, cold.

Jennifer packed up her things.

Her aunt was quick to agree to take her in.

It was only the next day.

24 hours of crying uncontrollably.

She couldn’t even text him goodbye. Her mum had taken her phone.

She had taken everything.

Even as she watched her, picking up her bags outside the only home she had ever known she remained indifferent.

“Did you ever really love me?” Nobody could hear her speak it to the wind. She suspected her mother never had. Not the real her.

He did.

She knew he did.

He hadn’t needed to say it.

Spider knew.

She just hoped he knew she loved him too.

Spider hiccuped as she crawled into the back seat. There were no more tears left. Her eyes were puffy. Her mum had made her scrub every inch of her off. Her piercing was gone.

There was no Spider left. Not even Jennifer was there.

She felt as though she was nothing.

Who was she now?

Who would she be without her home? Who would she be without him?

Without someone who loved her? Accepted her?

When she saw him running she hoped to feel something.

Anything.

He looked like a proper lad.

Martin Leferve’s version of it.

Maybe he thought he could change her mum’s mind.

No sweater in the world would stop the car from moving. She pressed her hands against the glass of the back window. She hiccuped. She knew how she looked. She knew how she felt.

She still loved him.

He ran.

He chased.

He stumbled.

As she rounded the corner she thought she might feel this way forever.

But that wasn’t true.

This was just a moment of sadness before a lifetime of pure happiness.

#martin4spider #martin in the modern world #martin lefevre #martin x spider

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hunnylagoon · 1 year ago

Text

Candy

PT1: Sober to Death

Ellie Williams x Reader

I’m home and here to stay like a ghost to haunt. You can’t shake me off your back for I linger in your head like carelessly uttered curse. Summer falls to ashes in my mouth and so I will spit them into your urn, just like that all of my devotion turns violent.

Premise: After a mental break you are being held together by nothing but glitter glue and craft yarn. You seek refuge with an old friend in a coastal town to live the life you thought you left behind.

Warnings: SENSITIVE THEMES / reader is a recovered addict / mentions of drug and alcohol abuse / angst / brief mentions of violence / possibly triggering discussions of drug addiction

Read at your own discretion

Inside me, something seethes. Inside me, some feral animal has been forced into a cage where it thrashes and screams. Perhaps I will turn into a snarling wolf and rip out the throats of each girl who made me go home crying in middle school. Maybe I will don the pelt of a sheep and surprise all of those who convinced me it was a good idea to try ketamine when I shed my cloak and reveal my long curled claws and fangs sharp as knives.

I'm heartless at worst and helpless at best.

I don't know how else to be. I was raised like a stick of dynamite lit from both ends and I can describe in detail how the earth warps beneath my feet or how I watch the sky bend until it snaps and collapses onto a body too tired to lift it back up.

Everything miles ahead of what I was, to them, I was only ever an addict. Cursed with the nickname 'popper' since tenth grade and everyone thought it to be nothing more than a joke they didn't know how I found serenity in the tablet of acid that rested on my tongue.

It started with pot and drinking on the weekends then flew into full-blown benders when I swallowed back synthetic sunshine like it was candy. None of my friends thought I would end up with my back plastered on my dorm floor, eyes wide with what once was a bottle of pills frothing out of my mouth.

It took me two overdoses to get here, had to put my white blood cells to work.

"I didn't think you'd be up this early," Joel smiled at me, he was nursing a mug of coffee, a plate in front of him with a half-eaten piece of toast and a golden yoke running onto the porcelain. That might've been my favourite thing about the farm, fresh eggs. Once you have them you can never go back to the sad pale grocery store eggs.

"That makes two of us," I pulled out a chair from the wooden dining table and sat down. Joel had put so much love into this home. These days I’m too nauseous to eat breakfast.

"Ellie doesn't even wake up this early," He took a slug of his black coffee, the scent was strong, filling up the entire house, I could smell it the second I woke up. "How's the room? Is everything to your liking?"

I had felt so guilty for free-loading off Joel whom I hadn't seen since I was twelve, it had been eight years. He sent me cards on my birthday every year but I never was able to grasp how close our parents had been. I'm pretty sure I was friends with Ellie when I was little, there were pictures of the two of us hugging each other and playing beneath sprinklers, my front teeth missing, Ellie covered head to toe in Spider-Man band-aids. I didn't have any recollection of us when we were close, as we got older we got more stiff around each other. When my family would visit, she would hang out with her friends and I would keep to myself. Of course, my parents moved us to the city where everything hit me too hard all at once. "It's perfect, thank you."

"It's pretty hard to peel yourself off that mattress, huh?" Joel smiled at me, showing me every ounce of warmth he had when I was a child.

I nod in response "So much more comfortable than those stiff dorm mattresses," It almost felt like I was making conversation with a ghost.

"Since you're up so early, care for a tour while I do some chores?" He asked. I had been here a few days already, though I just kept to myself I didn't want to impose on his pleasant life with his daughter who hadn't called him at three am sobbing because she had too many opioids. I had wandered briefly around the farm of course and I had remembered bits and pieces of it from my childhood but I felt so out of place that I mainly locked myself inside of my temporary room and lived through my friend's Instagram stories.

"I'd love to," I smile politely, unsure of what else to do.

"Do you think you're gonna go back to school?" Joel asked as he stood up with his plate and mug in hand and began to wash them in the stainless steel sink. "No pressure, there's life outside of a lecture hall."

This was a question I had been thinking about day in and day out. I was a year and then some into getting my degree when my 'fun habits' began spiralling uncontrollably. My parents had managed to snag me a two-year deferral so I could go to rehab and go back to school the following year but I was so full of shame that I shook with the thought of going back. For the first time in my life, I am afraid I have no real desires.

When I was dead inside a motel bathtub, I thought I needed to be somewhere different but now that I'm there, I need to be someone different too. "I'm not really sure right now, just please don't tell my parents I said that."

"Secrets safe with me," He opens a cabinet and pulls out a bag of cat food, shaking it until a scrawny calico cat appears out of thin air. Pepper happily devours the food Joel puts in her little bowl. I remembered Pepper, she was a kitten way back then and I would cut open socks to make clothes for her. "You should just know that it's never too late."

Very early in my life, it was too late. "Thanks, Joel," Not yet a corpse and still I rot like all of my ambitions turn to sludge at my tired feet.

He looks around, exhaling a deep breath, trying to scope out anything else he has to do in the kitchen. "You outta get geared up, I'm gonna wake up Ellie then me and you can get to work."

I nod in agreement even though I'm not sure what he means by 'gear up' so I figure that's just him saying to put on a hoodie and some rain boots. I stand awkwardly by the door, waiting for Joel. Absentmindedly I rock back and forth on my heels hands clasped together. I'm twenty years old but I feel like I'm twelve again, trying to find a place for myself in someone else's life.

I thought of the last time I was in this house. I was twelve, unaware of the future that awaited me, I had buried a time capsule with Ellie and her cousins somewhere on this property. Writing to my future self, talking about all of the things I should be. If only she saw the brain-rotten zombie that was her destiny.

My parents had told everyone back home I was backpacking across Australia and taking a break from academics to see the world. In the eyes of those who knew me well and were more than aware of what happened, it was a shame to them that I had wasted a sharp brain and a pretty face. It takes a whole lot of strength the endure myself.

It doesn't take long for Joel to walk back down the creaky stairs, Ellie trailing behind him, sleep in her eyes. She's in boxers and one of Joel's old t-shirts, hair still messy and unbrushed. Ellie yawns and gives me a little wave- it wasn't really a wave, just her raising a hand in my direction as an acknowledgment.

We hadn't spoken much since I got here, I had met her in the past but we didn't know each other. A lot can change in eight years. She wasn't unfriendly toward me, we indulged in small talk and laughed at each other's jokes but each conversation was so shallow I wanted to lay face down and drown in them.

Ellie goes straight for the fridge, unlike her dad, she pours milk into a sickly sweet cereal which seems cavity-inducing. She was back from college for the summer, taking advantage of her father's love and food. Joel walked over to where I was standing at the door, slipping into his mucking boots. "While you're both here," He says before looking at me "How much do you know about boats?"

I furrow my eyebrows "A good bit I guess?" I answer, figuring he was just trying to rekindle a spark between Ellie and me that had been put out eight years ago by rain, ocean spray, and vodka.

"Y'know, Els," He gestures towards me "This one used to work at her parent's marina, they tell me she's done a couple of repairs and I bet she could give you some pointers on how to fix up that boat." I'm confused by his words, this is the first I've heard about a boat. Joel can see the uncertainty on my face "Her uncle gave her a piece of shit boat last summer before she went back to school, over the year I guess some teenagers thought it was a good hideout and trashed it even more."

"Seriously?" Her head pokes up "It would be great if you could come down with me later, she just needs a little love," Ellie spoons some cereal into her mouth. I had always thought it weird how people spoke about their boats like they were women, I even caught myself doing it on occasion. "Only if you want to, of course."

"Sure," I agree, no idea how much repair this boat was in need of "I've got nothing better to do."

I could tell Joel counted this as a win. I knew he had been commuting with my parents and how desperately they wanted me to keep myself occupied for the summer. "Well, we've got some work to do, kiddo."

After a solid five hours of following Joel around like a duckling and re-learning all the names of the animals, I was walking with Ellie toward her pickup truck. "Wanna drive?" She asks as we walk to the long beaten driveway

"Oh, I can't." The coolness of the morning has ebbed away into a borderline unbearable heat, I wasn't sure how Ellie was absolutely unfazed in her Jeans, T-shirt, and trucker hat.

"You never got your licence?"

"No, it got taken away."

She cracks a grin "Jeez, what did you do? Hit a pedestrian?" Ellie teases.

"Something like that," Truthfully, my licence got revoked after I got a DUI and swerved my car off the highway, I was too high to realize the danger I was in and laughed the entire time warm blood pooled from a gash in my head that had to be stapled shut. Luckily my parents can throw money at anything and the problem will go away.

She hops in the truck, there are little bits and pieces of it that show how it's lived in. A rubber duck with sunglasses sits on the dashboard and I'm partially surprised it hasn't melted in the sweltering heat.

As beautiful and scenic as the drive down to the docks is, it's also extremely awkward, only on my end, Ellie seems completely unfazed. Travelling down the dirt roads until we finally hit the pavement.

The salty breeze of Andromeda Cove carries conversations of clubbing and tanning, mingling with the sweet scent of coconut sunscreen and sea salt. Colourful beach umbrellas dot the shoreline. Seagulls glide effortlessly overhead, their calls blending seamlessly with the distant laughter of beachgoers. Quaint shops and cafes line the bustling boardwalk, offering an array of surfboards, souvenirs, and freshly caught seafood delicacies.

The Cove was immune to those gross and bland modern buildings that looked like something I would've made in Minecraft as a kid. Everything down here was local and kept its charm even after all these years. "Do you ever miss it here?"

"I don't remember much of it to be honest."

"Really?" She asks, taking a turn down to the docks "It doesn't seem like it was that long ago."

"Yeah, my memory just isn't very good." My lungs are burnt and my brain is fried. You could tell me that I was in cheerleading for five years of my life and I would probably believe you.

"Alright."

I hadn't remembered her being this quiet but then again I don't remember much, I should probably write down everything I can before Alzheimer's sets in. There are lapses in my mind where memories should live, I recall my life through glimpses.

Ellie takes her keys out of the ignition and hops out of the truck, leading me down the docks. I keep guessing in my head which boat belongs to her and then the second I spot it, I know and how I dread. It's a sailboat or what's left of one, sharpie graffiti scribbled all around it. The word 'wanderlust' had once been titled along the side though the first half was scratched out by what I assume were those teenagers Joel mentioned so it just said 'lust'.

Ellie had no problem climbing aboard, I on the other hand had doubts that it could support the weight of two people, let alone itself. There were chips of white paint scraped off, Ellie motioned for me to get on deck "How long has this been abandoned?"

She waves me off "There's freedom that comes with abandonment."

I raise an eyebrow "Sinking in a boat that's docked is a very lame way to die."

"Nah," She says "We can haunt the marina."

She holds out her hand for me to take it and with hesitation, I do. Stepping over the gap between the dock and the boat, I haul myself over the rails. Even in the dark, I could make that climb, it was almost like muscle memory from working at my parents marina summer after summer. "She's a beauty, yeah? In her own special kind of way," Ellie pats the side of the companionway. "I actually made some progress on it last summer, if you can believe me."

"I don't know if I can," I look around, following her as we duck into the saloon.

She reaches for a notebook with a pink sharpie clipped onto it on the table of the saloon and turns to face me "Whoever was here must've been a real wordsmith, what I can't figure out is how the words got out of the notebook and onto my walls."

I crawl onto the cushioned V-berth to get a better look at all of the writing on the walls. Most of it had been poetry, not Edgar Allen Poe but the kind that only an angsty teenage girl on the verge of a mental break could've written.

The Statue of Juliette:

May I ask what you have done to women?

That your hands have only learned to harm one

Hand after filthy hand

Is dragged

Groped

Caressed

Prodded

Over my rusted skin

The things I have seen

The things I have endured

No water can clean me

No blanket can warm me

Take a hammer to my bronze flesh

And I will thank you for your kindness

As my body crumbles and clatters against cobblestone

I am eternally grateful

For this is the gentlest act I have ever faced

"I know," Ellie says, and I look back to meet her sharp gaze "A real Sylvia Plath.”

"Is this your candle?" I reach for it on the ground, it's halfway through its life. A vanilla bean bath and bodyworks candle.

She takes it from my hand and gives it a sniff "I was wondering why it smelled so good in here, I just thought that was you." She places the candle back onto the saloon table "So, Neptune's daughter, where should we start?"

I snatch the notebook from the table and flip it open to a page clean of any writing. It takes a little less than fifteen minutes to seek out all of the trouble spots. Ellie followed behind me and nodded to everything that I was saying.

The boat isn't in nearly as bad of condition as I expected. I suspected that the teenagers who occupied it while Ellie was away at college had all been girls, they took relatively good care of the boat aside from the graffiti, allegedly most of the damage had been there when Ellie got it from Tommy a year ago.

We now sat next to each other in the booth around the saloon table, the ocean rocked the boat beneath us ever so gently, the same way a mother would rock her child's cradle. I missed the sea when I was in college, on a bender I had driven three hours just to be back with it, it seemed the only safe place to let go and be reborn. I liked the sharpness of the air, the vastness of the horizon and the mystery beneath it. I thought I would rise from the seafoam a new woman the same way Aphrodite did but no, I threw up on the sandy shores and called my parents to make it go away.

I give the notebook over to Ellie, a new entry written in bright pink Sharpie amongst the poetry and anecdotes.

Wanderlust's issues:

Mainsail and jib seem sketchy; Unfold the hoist for a full assessment

Wiring issues are out of my hands but a probable concern-should probably call in an expert

Nav instruments are cracked

Leaks on starboard window, probs cracked moulding

Interior woodwork is original, mainly solid despite a bit of mildew

Graffiti and chipped paint, graffiti likely cleanable (May need a new coat of paint)

Possible rigging issues

Underside? That's a question for the experts

Final Verdict: Wanderlust is a seaworthy vessel in need of some love

Ellie lets out a low whistle "God, I love a girl who knows the difference between a mainsail and a jib." She cracks a mischievous grin.

"You're teetering very close between sexy and crass," I tease her in return.

She seems a little taken aback by my comment, like she hadn't anticipated a response but ignores it nonetheless "What would it take to make you my first mate?"

"I'm sorry?"

"For someone with a bad memory, you seem to know your boats, Joel said that you used to work on charters. You gotta know more about sailing than me. It'll be a fun summer project, get you out of the house a bit."

I furrow my eyebrows as I look at her "You want me to work on the boat with you?"

Ellie nodded. She didn't rush to fill the silence that stretched between us, she didn't bother to sweeten the deal or hunt for some reason I would like working with her. She just let it stand. I looked her in the eyes, trying to figure her out. She goes from being almost non-verbal with me and now she asks me to spend the summer on a boat with her. I wondered if she knew what she was doing at all and if I would be carrying her through this.

I had a feeling that Ellie would become my next bad habit. It's easy to get addicted when everything interests you and nothing satisfies you. "I'm in."

"You won't regret this," Ellie almost jumps up, I swear I could've seen her making calculations in her head "So, I'm thinking we get rid of all this junk and get a good look at it bare bones, make a list of supplies and give her the spa day shes in desperate need of."

On my second day as first mate, I had been scrubbing away inside of the saloon while Ellie did some work on the exterior, my Scrub Daddy was being put to work. By the time I even made a dent in all of the Sharpie poetry, it was nearly falling apart and begging to be killed.

When I emerged from the companionway to replace my filthy bucket of water I spotted Ellie chatting up a girl on a dock. She had long glossy black hair that cascaded down her back in strategic ringlets. "So you're gonna sail on this thing?"

"Rebuilding her first," Ellie tells her, leaning against the railing. The girl she's speaking to looks like she's freezing, denim shorts cropped high and a white tank top.

"Do you need help?" She smiles and even I'm seduced by it. She has tanned skin that she's clearly been working on and sunglasses pushing back the silky hair from her forehead. "I've been on boats, lots of times," Her arms are crossed over her chest. I can see goosebumps all over her legs from the chill brought to us by the gray sky above and the frigid air.

"That so?" Ellie asks, rising to her full height. A wrench in hand, it looks like the beginning of a really bad movie, not a family-friendly one. She saw me then, standing behind her. I watched her facade drop. Her smile changed as I approached, turning from flirt to friend in two seconds.

"Oh, hey," The black-haired girl regards me like I'm some kind of threat. "So do you need help or what?"

Ellie looks at me and then back to her "Thanks for the offer but we're all set."

"Do you maybe wanna grab lunch or something?" She completely ignores me.

Ellie shakes her head "We've got lots of work to do, but-" She takes a deliberate pause and I almost cringe "I'll probably be at the shipwreck later. Stop by if you're around."

"See ya'," She grins and takes the sunglasses off the top of her head, placing them on the nose bridge before walking back down the dock.

"Wow," I dump my bucket of water over the rail of the boat "Looks like super difficult work out here, you are so brave." Sarcasm drips from my tone "Without you, who will flirt with all of the hot girls at the marina?"

"No need to be jealous," She says "I'm spending every waking minute with you after all."

I gave her the evil eye but I truly wasn't jealous. I didn't chase the thrill of a fling or late nights with girls whom I would forget by morning. I had dropped that by college and replaced it with ketamine and opioids, I abused liquor like I was its two-faced love. Now the only thing I chased was calmness.

I wasn't jealous, just briefly reminiscing over how carefree I used to be.

The tide was rolling and the sky above us was gray and angry as if something was raging within it. "Shit," I mutter, waves shifting from a distant hiss to a closer hush. The air hung heavy, I hadn't even noticed the change in weather from what seemed like the century I spent scrubbing away in the saloon.

Ellie must've noticed what I was. "So, I'm thinking we should go?"

"You think?" I retort.

Moments later we're packed and rushing down the dock to find her truck. It doesn't take long for rain to begin to splatter on the ground beneath us, it isn't light and gentle, it's harsh. It sounds like pebbles being tossed onto a sheet of glass.

By the time we reach the truck, I'm soaked, hair sticking to my forehead and neck "You didn't want to poke your head into the saloon and say 'Hey, it's looking like there's gonna be a storm'?"

"I was a little preoccupied," Ellie isn't much better off than I am, she takes off the flannel she had on top of her tank top and tosses it into the backseat, her tattoo out on full display. The rain is so heavy that everything on the outside of her truck looks like a blur.

"Can you even drive in this?"

"No, can you?"

"No, I told you I have a DUI," The second the words leave my mouth I regret the slip-up. My eyes go wide and a hand slaps over my mouth, I'm acting like I just told her I was the one who took out JFK.

"You didn't tell me that."

"Well," I look forward, ignoring her piercing gaze, "I thought I did."

If not for the rain outside that pounded against the glass as if it wanted to be let in, we would've sat in complete silence while we drowned beneath all of the words going unsaid. My mind begins to wonder, first I think of the black-haired girl at the docks; I hope she didn't get stuck outside in the rain, especially with her lack of clothing. Then I think about what Ellie's thinking, did she know already? Had Joel told her? I'm humiliated all over again like I'd been when the paramedics dragged my half-naked body out of a bathtub.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She asks. I don't say anything and she takes this as a hint "We don't have to talk about it."

I'm beginning to grow comfortable with the silence. I almost preferred it to the back-and-forth banter Joel and Ellie constantly had, which was more so father and daughter teasing each other.

Joel had probably known more about me than I did, my parents liked to keep him filled in after all. They just loved to keep tabs on me, if it was legal I'm sure they would put cameras behind my retinas and watch my every move. Eight months ago when I was in rehab, that was the most peace I've ever felt. As much as my parents wanted me clean, they held resentment since I ruined my life and was destroying theirs by association. Joel didn't seem like the type to gossip to his daughter but it nagged at me regardless. "Did Joel tell you anything?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just-like," I search through my brain to find the words "Like what I've been up to?"

She shrugged "He just said you are on a deferral and need a break from the city."

"Okay," I say, my voice so quiet it was almost smothered by the obnoxious rain.

"Are you hungry?"

We had thrown on two jackets Ellie had in the back seat of the cars. She offered me Joel's black raincoat while she humbly took the bright yellow rain poncho. It took everything in me not to laugh at her, she looked like Georgie.

Ellie slung one arm around me, we were both hunched over as we ran as fast as we could. She was shouting stuff at me but I couldn't hear her through the rain, I just nodded in agreement and hoped she hadn't said something awful.

She tugged me left, the deluge chasing us into Salty's for cover. It was nearly dead in there, two other tables, one was an elderly couple and the other was a group of girls, laughing like hyenas while one of them showed the others a picture on her phone.

Ellie wasted no time in taking off her poncho and I didn't blame her, no one wanted to be seen in that. The second we settled into a booth by the huge glass window which took up the entire storefront, an over-eager waiter came up. He was tall, had dark hair and had handsome features, he must've been bored with how slow it was in here. "Hey, Jesse," Ellie said "Can I have water and a big-buck burger?"

He nodded and swerved his body to look at me, "Alright and for you-" He looked up from his notepad and paused for a moment before a huge smile cracked on his face "I haven't seen you in so long!"

"Hi," I smiled, my mouth hanging openly awkwardly as I tried to recall him.

"Do you remember me?" He asked, his hand dropping to his side "Jesse," He reminded "We used to go to school together."

I had no idea who he was "Oh my god, yes!" I say "I remember."

His smile grows "God, you look so different."

"You too," I gesture at him "You're way more-" My mind falls flat "Grown."

He nods along to my words "Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

Wanting this conversation as soon as possible I nod despite not even opening the menu “Yeah, I'll just get the, uh, big-buck and a club soda.” I repeated Ellie's order.

He jots it down onto his notepad "It'll be right up."

"Ellie, I don't know who that is," I say when I see him retreat to the server station to fill in the order. The entire restaurant is nautical-themed, the walls painted black, and there were nets with faux fish covering every square inch of the ceiling.

"Wow, I had no idea," She says, sarcastically "Damn, your memory really is fucked."

Trust me, I know or at least I think I do. I disregard her comment "Water? Don't you wanna get rootbeer or something? Joel said you drink so much soda that your blood is made of corn syrup."

She grins "Gotta keep up the tough guy act."

Across the restaurant one of the girls waves to Ellie, this one has curly brown hair and a sundress "Hi, Ellie!"

Her eyebrows furrow "Hey there-um...you," Ellie said "Good to see you again."

The girl smiles slyly at Ellie before turning back to her friends. "Looks like I'm not the only one forgetting people, what's your excuse?"

"There's a lot of girls in the world, I can't remember all of their names."

"You must've gone through every girl in the cove, power to ya'," I say "No idea you had such a reputation."

"You don't know a lot about me."

I shrug "You know even less about me."

"I bet I could guess."

"Be my guest."

She leans back like she's carefully considering her next words, choosing them very wisely before she finally settles "You picked a major like communications and got bored quickly, decided you needed to do some soul searching. Probably read 'Eat, Prey, Love,' then went on a backpacking trip, expenses paid by your parents. Alternatively, you lived in a van and pretended to be a broke hippie."

I shook my head "Very cliche and you were only right about one thing."

"What?"

"I got bored quickly," The rain outside was failing to cease. Across from me, it looked like Ellie was calculating my every move. Her auburn hair was still wet, and from her hairline, a droplet of water dribbled down onto her button nose to rest on her cupid bow.

"Can I have a hint then?"

"No."

I see a realisation hit her "You partied with frat guys?"

I shook my head "I've always been too cool for them." I wasn't too cool for them, I was too fucked up to even know they were throwing a party until someone verbally informed me, by that point all I've ever done at a frat party was break in through a window and steal a keg like the disgusting fiend I was. It was nothing to be proud of, my friends thought it was hilarious and posted it on their Snapchat stories, egging me on and feeding into this sickening behaviour. What wasn't funny was how I got caught and winded up with a busted lip and broken rib. With pupils the size of my iris, I couldn't feel the pain I was in.

"Okay, now you have to tell me."

"I can't, I lose my mysterious allure."

The bell above the door chimes signalling the arrival of another customer and said customer makes a b-line for our table. She takes a seat next to Ellie "Jesse texted me that you were here.”

"Dina, were you at work?" Ellie furrows her eyebrows.

"Yeah, it's not like anyone's buying souvenirs right now and Jesse told me you finally came back," She whips her head to look over at me.

I genuinely remembered her, unlike Jesse. She had buried the time capsule with Ellie, her family and I. I also recalled how her older sister used to give us hand-me-down clothes. "Dina, hi."

She has freckles scattered across her face the same way that Ellie does. Her smile was so comforting, I forgot that I was soaked to my bones and shivering. "Well we should all do something together tonight," Dina grins "You're doing Ellie a huge favour by helping her fix that rig, she better give you some good head for it."

I almost choke on my saliva while Ellie just groans with disappointment like she had anticipated Dina saying something along those lines "D, you can't say that stuff around every girl I'm with, this is essentially my sister for the summer."

Dina raises her hands in defence "Sorry, my bad, I was unaware since you failed to mention that you have my old friend living with you." Ellie looks like she's going to say something but Dina speaks up again before she has the chance to "Let me give you my number."

Wordlessly, I hand my phone over to Dina who fills out her contact information and then gives my phone right back to me. I study Dina's face and her mannerisms, hoping that something might bring me back to my childhood which has been wiped away by every upper and downer you could put a name to. Something about her seemed familiar, maybe we had been closer friends than I thought.

I nod along to whatever she and Ellie are saying, chiming in random bits of dialogue but my mind is stuck on the two of them side by side. They're what I could've been if my family never moved us away and I hadn't turned my brain into sludge.

The life I could've had.

Ellie smoked from what I knew, maybe Dina or Jesse were into something a little more hardcore. Hardcore? If hardcore qualifies as drowning in a concoction of cough syrup, Vicodin, codeine, and Gatorade to balance out the flavour of self-destruction. The bottles I swallowed to sleep, I showed up to almost every lecture high. Here I was handed what was nearly a good life and I tossed it away for something with a sweeter taste than a stable job and proper education.

The horrors I've committed. No good deed will ever outdo the bad that I have unleashed upon this godforsaken earth. From my clouded brain, paralyzing thoughts come to life to curse myself, the nightmare no mother would wish for her child to endure.

Relapse after relapse, I would fall sick with the thought of how many times I had to relapse until I was finally clean and that bitter flavour washed from my mouth.

"Are you okay?" Dina asks with a smile and furrowed brows "We kind of lost you there."

It's one in the morning and I want to drink wine then slip beneath the rapid waters that will gladly pull me under and claim me as theirs.

Instead, I opt for a class of water. As Dina had said earlier, she wanted to get a bunch of friends together but the second we got home, I showered and locked myself away. Echoes of laughter and chatter drifted through my window.

I slip down the steps that lead to the kitchen. Outside the rain has finally dissipated and Ellie, Dina, Jesse, along with a handful of people I don't know crowd around a bonfire. The kitchen is illuminated only by moonlight, the moon hung over me as I poured myself water from the tap, a dead thing over a dying thing.

I have seafoam in my veins and centuries-passed sunshine that induces my craving for some pills that will put me to sleep. Three months completely clean and yet that doesn't end the yearning for the drugs that comforted me more than any human ever had.

The door cracks open and in comes Ellie, she's laughing and from the uncontrollable giggles, drowsy gaze, and slightly disoriented walking I can tell that she's been smoking. "Hey," She smiles at me, reaching passed me to grab a mug with Garfield on the front and fill it with water but she doesn't take a sip, she just sits it down on the counter behind us and stares at me.

Our faces only inches apart, I contemplate her next move. This close I can smell the marijuana on her and I almost want to scuttle upstairs and light a candle. Ellie hugs me, wrapping her arms around my midriff and letting her head find its resting place in the crook of my neck "Are you okay?"

"Mhm" She hums "I'm just glad you're here, whatever the circumstances are, I'm happy that you're helping me with the boat," I'm carrying almost her full way, and she's slouched against me "I love you man, I know you don't remember a lot from when we were kids but we had a lot of fun together."

"Thanks, Ellie," I give her a little pat on the back "That's really nice of you."

She peels herself away from me, using the counter to lean against instead. She looks me up and down, having an intense staring contest with my pyjamas "Do you wanna come out and smoke with everyone?" She's shed her tank top and thrown over a gray hoodie to shroud her from the oncoming cold.

I shake my head, no "I don't mess with that stuff."

"That's smart," She says "Have fun in your room, stowaway, I'll see you tomorrow to work on our boat," With that Ellie leaves without grabbing the Garfield mug she came in here for.

A/N: Hey, y’all. I’m aware I have a million open docs, I assure you they are all getting some love but I needed to come back to my roots and write some angst. These are some issues I have struggled with and I feel that it’s important to bring attention to it so it’s not taboo.

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