#love a man who struggles with interpersonal relationships

[astrologhosts]

9. The Warrior of Light has been through quite a lot, but what is a moment, big or small, that bolstered and renewed their spirit? Was it a cup of hot cocoa or a lovingly crafted sandwich? Did someone give them a few words or a gesture at just the right time that meant the world to them? (Of course, this can be a canon event or headcanon!)

There are a few that come to mind.

He’s not very good at talking to people in general, let alone his fellow scions, but he cherishes every time that he can just sit down and talk to them without worrying about the world ending or something.

He especially appreciates being able to sit down one-on-one with Alisaie. She’s one of the few people who can actually slap some sense into the man without also wanting to kill him.

Haurchefant’s hospitality was also greatly appreciated. For a guy he was somewhat cautious around due to various High House-related shenanigans, he really made him feel welcomed. He provided the security and safety he needed at the time, and reminded him that there are some nice people in Ishgard, you just have to look really hard. He also makes a nice hot chocolate.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hello!! I hope you're doing well! Do you have any recs for books about twisted/problematic relationships but with woc? Obviously there's our queen octavia butler but unfortunately for me i've finished reading all her books so i'm desperately craving for books that scratch this itch. Thank you for this blog btw i really love reading all your thoughts & reviews ♥️

goddd okay this list is not going to be nearly as long as I wish it was but it is extreeeeemely varied, so at least we have that going for us lmao. and hopefully you find something interesting in here:

right out of the gate if you're chasing that Octavia high, Rivers Solomon's novel Sorrowland feels very very in that vein. it starts with a teenage girl escaping from a Black separatist fundie cult while heavily pregnant with the cult leader's twins, deciding to give birth to the babies in the woods and raise them there. and boy, does it get crazier from there! there are some eventual transformative body horror sci-fi elements that I shan't spoil, but it's a time. the relationships are pretty secondary and genuinely not the most fucked up thing here, but our main girlie Vern is very much into girls and trying to figure that out on top of all the other horrors.

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms is the first book in a fantasy trilogy by specfic queen NK Jemisin, and the first book in particular is really like. problematic relationship city. the protagonist is called to be an heir to a dying emperor and IMMEDIATELY gets embroiled in a love triangle with two of the gods that her family enslaves for power??? crazy shit.

I just kicked off this year reading a book called Darknesses by Lachelle Seville, which ALSO features a young Black woman fresh out of a cult (this one loves self harm and anorexia). and then she meets another Black girl who casually drops that she's Dracula, and oh boy do things get weirder from there. this book is like kind of Not Good but it is very entertaining; at a certain point you just have to turn off your brain and go with the vibes. it's sweeter than a lot of examples but listen, obsession and bloodlust are obsession and bloodust no matter how much your gf Dracula respects consent. there's a lot of murder!

this one doesn't have any supernatural bullshit afoot and is instead just regular degular #problematic, but Raven Leilani's Luster was one of my favorite books last year and follows an absolute shitshow of a young Black woman's extremely loaded and weird relationship with her older white boyfriend and his insane wife, as well as their adopted Black daughter.

anther no magic entry: I really love Oyinkan Braithwaite's My Sister, The Serial Killer, which is about exactly what you think it's about! the narrator is a put-upon Nigerian woman whose beautiful, beloved sister has murdered her last several boyfriends and has come crying to her dutiful sister to help her clean it up each time; the plot kicks in when the murdery sister sets her sights on the narrator's boss, a doctor to whom the narrator is also attracted. I know it's a sibling relationship instead of a romantic one but you didn't specify so! I am counting it!

this one is like very very very niceys compared to everything else I'm going to put on this list but it's also pretty hot so I have to mention it: Little Rabbit by Alyssa Songsiridej is about a young, bisexual Asian-American woman struggling to get a writing career off the ground falling in love with a Notably Older and wealthier white man and figuring out how to navigate the subsequent problems both within their own interpersonal dynamic and in how their relationship is received by others.

honorary mentions: books about fucked up white women that are written by women of color who Know!!

Under the Pendulum Sun by Jeannette Ng is a Victorian alternate history in which the English discovered the fairy realm and promptly did what the English did, ie, sending missionaries to teach the fairies about Jesus. the novel follows a woman traveling to the fairy kingdom to look for her missing missionary brother and promptly going insane as fairies gaslight gatekeep girlboss from all sides, complete with a side of everyone's favorite gothic horror trope: repressed sibling incest!

My Nemesis by Charmaine Craig is another very lowkey and grounded example, comparatively, but I thought it was neat and worth a mention! it's told from the POV of truly insufferable white woman writer whose emotional affair with a philosopher gets thrown for a fucking loop by the philosopher's wife, an enigmatic Chinese woman whose motivation the MC cannot guess literally at all. it's not the most exciting read in the world but the reveals hit hard and the reveals at the end made me YELL.

also for short story collections by WOC that can bring the #yikes factor in big ways I heartily endorse Roxane Gay's Difficult Women and Carmen Maria Machado's Her Body and Other Parties.

I wish I had more to throw you here; please if anyone has something to add to this list I am LISTENING

[glitter-stained]

I always feel like a little sad seeing posts about how Jason's character is inherently tragic and that's what makes it good, how him being unloved, a tragic consequence of his own actions, is inevitable, and how that shouldn't change because any change on that regard is a fundamental misunderstanding of his character. Yes, Under the Hood is a tragedy. Yes, Jason survived and for a long time people have been pretty confused at what to do with the character that survives the tragic ending. That doesn't mean he should continue to be trapped in the tragedy, that there's only value in him as long as he's unloved. And maybe that's me preaching and being a party pooper again but the idea that the teenage-to-young adult character with a mental illness that has damaged all his relationships is doomed to be lonely and have bad/upended relationships forever, that he's only good as a character as long as he's hurting others and/or himself (and usually both) and isolated because of this... It's sad, at the very least. I refuse the presumption that tragedies are the only stories wise and worth telling.

Also I personally really dislike the idea that Jason isn't and shouldn't be anyone's favourite, because he made himself nobody's favourite on purpose. Did he make himself a villain on purpose? Fuck yeah. Does any of his early attempts at reaching out to people hurt them? Indubitably. I maintain that this is because he wants to be someone's favourite as he is, at his worst, with his hands covered in blood. And I think he should be. (Without contradicting or damaging, by comparison, the relationships between other characters, that's the tightrope we need to be weary of when making such things, of course.)

It's like this: love, in most relationships, is conditional: you don't owe your friend or your partner to continue to love them if the relationship changes, if you change, if you become violent etc. If my girlfriend started murdering puppies, I would stop loving her. Ideally, however a parent's love for their child is unconditional. That's very often unfortunately not the case, but ideally it'd be, it's really not great for a kid to have zero parents that love them unconditionally. And most importantly, it's not just about actual unconditional love, it's about it being perceived. So it doesn't matter in the debate if Bruce actually loves Jason in spite of the murder, it matters that Jason asks for confirmation of it at the end of UTH and receives a negative answer. (similar arguments to be made about Catherine loving Jason and dying of drug overdose and Willis going to jail and dying - it's the potential perceived abandonment of it that would matter, not their agency and actual love. And it's not a question of whether he would be angry at it so much as that he'd yearn and hurt for it. And of course Sheila didn't love him at all.) That's why he, upon learning about Mia and reaching previously unknown to man levels of projection*, tries to rally her with the hope that, because she's "so similar to him" she would understand him. That's why upon learning about Dick "killing" Blockbuster Jason, again projecting more violently than a bullet, Jason makes Dick into his new favourite person (god, the concept behind BiB has so much potential why did it have to suck so bad...) Anyway, Jason to me is a character with a very intense, very overwhelming conception of love both in who he loves and how, who struggles to understand that other people love and show it differently, and it makes so much sense for him to keep looking for a person who will love him unconditionally (something that's both very rare and not necessarily healthy since, again, most relationships aside from parent-child relationships do not and probably should not include unconditional love). This is particularly interesting in the context of him having bpd (again, using bpd because i'm focusing on the interpersonal dimension that's been mostly studied within that frame) because BPD often functions around a vicious circle of "is afraid of rejection/abandonment -> does maladaptive behaviour in attempt to prevent rejection/abandonment OR protect oneself by being the one to leave first" which is what leads to the instability in relationships. It's a doomed prophecy: i have maladaptive patterns that make me think my girlfriend is gonna leave me at any time, I keep demanding to see her phone, assuming she's cheating everytime she leaves and thus demonizing her even though I was glorifying her five minutes earlier" then she's going to leave me, which is gonna reinforce my thought pattern that everyone always leaves me. But that also means that in rare instances in which the other person in the interact, for whichever reason, sticks around through that, then these incorrect thought patterns begin to change through the sheet logic of extinction: if i think that people always leave me because of something fundamentally wrong with me and people don't leave then eventually the idea that people are doomed to abandon/reject me is going to lose its power. That's, btw, an important part of why therapy works.

(*that one's a joke, btw. He's not projecting onto mia and dick to levels impossible to mankind, just pretty intensely. Very human levels of projection, might I add'. Just to clarify.)

Now, be mindful: I'm not saying make Jason an abusive boyfriend. I'm not saying put him in a relationship where the other stays because they're afraid of him, that's not unconditional love or acceptance that's just fear. Of course, the ideal version of it would be Jason goes to therapy but because dc hates me specifically this is never gonna happen, but imagine him being in a relationship, romantic or otherwise, with someone who is as intense and "unwell" about him as he is about them. I'm not saying it would fix him (again, get him so goddamn therapy jfc) but it would change him. And just as it doesn't have to be healthy it doesn't have to be tragic.

I was asked a while ago my thoughts on Jason's current stagnancy as a character and if I thought he could become interesting again, and I said yes and talked about the directions I dream would be explored with his character and their potential. My answer hasn't changed, and it's completely compatible with this, but I will add: I think Jason as a character has largely and for long enough been defined through his yearning to be somebody's favourite, and that if you want his mode of interacting with others and dynamic with different characters to change then this is a very logical way to do it. And it would make a lot of sense for it to be the catalyst for other changes in his character (ie in his name or philosophy).

Get that boy into a super intense long-term codependent situationship, is what I'm saying. Please.

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

The one thing I want from the Maul show

The trailer for the new Maul show looks fantastic with beautiful animation and some great voice acting. And of course, there's our usual Maul-isms such as he need for revenge and his never ending quest for an apprentice. I do love that Rook points out that he had another vision, which I think is pretty cool for Maul. I love the small details such as the sound of his legs against the metal ramp to the ship. I also love that we're getting an encounter with an inquisitor since in Rebels, his lightsaber is made out of a broken inquisitor blade.

With that said, the one thing I truly hope for are quiet moments where we really get a chance to delve into his inner thoughts. Underneath his quest for vengeance, who is he truly?

Maul is a complex person; while there is no doubt that he's not very moral, he is still very vulnerable, lonely, angry, and has a longing for a companion. The unfortunate reality is that Maul's upbringing has essentially tarnished his interpersonal skills and mind to a point where he struggles to have even the most basic meaningful connection. Savage sure tried the brotherly route and was met with an apprentice-master dynamic. Maul, of course, did care in his own way but has zero concept of healthy relationships other than what was taught to him.

Ezra was a similar situation where there was an offering for companionship (naïveté aside), but Maul still had to go down that master-apprentice route (and try and take out the real master for good measure). When Maul is at his most desperate to hold on to his connection with Ezra, he pleads that they could be like friends, even brothers. Of course, he's still not above using Ezra to get to Obi-Wan.

The point is, Maul continues to be one of Star Wars' most tragic figures: a lonely man who will never find peace with himself or anything in his life even when others try and offer it to him. It's his internal battle that makes him so compelling to me. Maul has to continue a quest that will never satisfy him. He's been offered chances for a better life, but never takes it. And with this new series, I truly hope they will give us more insight into his inner world. Does he still think about Savage? Has he ever considered the self-destructive nature of his quest (tbf, in Rebels he definitely knows imo).

We know that he will be getting a new apprentice, which could be a great opportunity to explore Maul's more tragic and sympathetic side.

It's pretty well known that Maul tends to seek companionship in people he not only sees potential in, but also sees a part of himself. Savage being his brother aside, with Ahsoka, Maul saw someone who had been cast aside, and with Ezra, Maul saw someone who shared his desire to defeat the Sith and avenge those he lost. Maul yearns for that connection and I'm curious so see if this relationship will be different from Ezra or Savage. It will still be master-apprentice, but will the girl be more hesitant to learn like Ezra, open like Savage, or eventually embrace the teachings and kick Maul to the curb? Maybe, just maybe, Maul will have a somewhat positive relationship that isn't just him dominating someone else the whole time. I'm getting off track here, but I really would be curious as to how another apprentice route is going to impact Maul (especially considering how every storyline he's in always includes some sort of master-apprentice dynamic).

Based on the trailer, it appears that Maul has a vision about the Twi'lek girl and offers to train her. It appears that his line about an unfilled destiny is directed at her and he can help her reach that potential. I'd love to see what this vision entails since it has to be pretty significant for Maul to go out of his way to seek her. Perhaps, Maul seeks to help the girl fulfill her "destiny" as a way to soothe his own aching soul considering he feels robbed of destiny.

Thinking back to Clone Wars, I wouldn't be surprised if Maul was haunted by what happened on Mandalore and with Order 66. In Rebels, he does have a portrait of Satine that he destroyed. We know Sidious is the man he fears more than anything. I can imagine he is plagued by nightmares and anger. He lost everything and getting a chance to "restart" with a new apprentice might just be the opportunity he jumps at to find some sense of purpose.

Purpose is another core Maul-ism. This guy literally tunnel visions on like one or two things (destroy Obi-Wan and Sidious) and then makes it everyone else's problem. In fact, part of Maul's tragedy is that he can't see another path for himself other than revenge. It is a result of his upbringing, but what's tragic is that he can't let it go, ever. So much of his pain comes from the fact that he will never be satisfied in life; everything around him fails and he can't even beat one specific Jedi. And for all the pain it's caused him, Maul can't. let. go. Enter a potential apprentice with an "unfulfilled destiny." No doubt Maul will use this to channel his own sense of purpose. I am really interested to see how this theme plays out with the Twi'lek girl and I wonder how much of this "unfulfilled destiny" is coming from her or from Maul.

Remember Ezra? He wanted to defeat the Sith, but it wasn't his number one priority. Maul was the one who influenced that side of him because that's what Maul wanted. He took advantage of a young, naive boy and it led to disaster. I'm curious of the Twi'lek girl's motivation and why she is in Maul's visions. Maybe this girl will give us more insight into Maul's inner world. Will she be someone he truly bonds with (to the extent that he can)? Or is it going to be more closed off as it has always been with Maul? Maul does open up, but the narrative usually is either very skewed or he's just venting.

All and all, I'm just excited to see Maul again. I realize this whole post just went into a ramble about Maul's character but he truly is such a fascinating person. His story is defined by the anger and pain he experiences, he is merciless on his quest for revenge, and yet, we the audience are still asked to feel sympathy for him. We see his vulnerabilities, his pain, his grief, his longing for connection, and over and over again, we see his failure. Maul is a cautionary tale of what happens when you allow revenge and anger to rule your life; it leads to nothingness, something that Obi-Wan echoes to him in Rebels.

It is heartbreaking that Maul only found peace when he died and while he finally realized that Obi-Wan was never his true enemy, that drive for vengeance never left him. Even writing this just makes me want to bundle him up in a blanket and hold him tight. Maul carries so much pain, both with what he has caused and what he has endured.

I hope this new show doesn't disappoint and gives us a new perspective on our favorite Zabrak. If you made it this far, thank you for sticking with this long-winded rant. I was just literally pouring all my Maul feels into this unintentionally. I love Maul so, so much; his story pulls at my heartstrings and his relationship with Obi-Wan is genuinely one of my favorite Star Wars dynamics of all time. I can't wait to see this new, unexplored chapter of Maul's life! (Until then I'm in my Andor brainrot, specifically over the pathetic cereal man).

[delicious-in-imagines]

Hii! Hope you’re doing well :3! Could I request like basic relationship headcanons with Kabru, Chilchuck, and Laios? If not that’s totally fine! Hope you have a good day! :D

You got it, boss!

Kabru of Utaya

I've covered this before in other posts, but his eye for details when it comes to people is going to be used on you. He has a internal list of things you love and things that you hate, and often references it over the course of the relationship.

The only way that he cleans his room is if you're coming over. He'll ask you to return with him on a whim, and then realizes that 'oh shit, I can't have them see this,' and once you get back, he tries to make a distraction, or just asks you to hang out in the hallway as he struggles to stuff all of the shit on the floor under every piece of furniture he can. His landlord finds this endlessly amusing, and knows when you're coming over because Kabru is frantically trying to clean - he helps to give Kabru some pointers.

Loves to surprise you with things you mention in passing, a necklace or bracelet that you saw in a nearby stall, taking you out to a fancy place that you mentioned wanting to go to dinner, or even just something that you need that he noticed. Stuff like a new whetstone, a repair for your armor, anything like that.

He's not the biggest on embraces, but this is a man who loves to cuddle when the two of you are in bed. He absolutely enjoys wrapping his hands around you, either having you curling into his neck, or with your back slotted neatly against him. He always plays with your hands, linking your fingers together. He actually gets to the point that he can't sleep easily unless he at least has some part of his body touching yours.

Cup his face before kissing him, stare into his eyes and tell him something along the lines of 'I love the color of your eyes' and just watch him melt. He used to be self-conscious and hate his eyes, though it's something he's outgrown over the years, but he still loves to hear it come from your lips.

Chilchuck Tims

His love language is admonishing you - sorry not sorry. He's very much the kind of person that if he is barking at you while patching you up, or while trying to help you, that he cares deeply about you. He yells because he cares, if he didn't, he wouldn't say a word.

Before you get into a relationship, he's absolutely going to bring up his past, at least in some capacity. Even if it's part of his sordid past, you deserve to know. He promises that he's changed, but he also knows that the only way to prove that is through his actions.

Speaking of, he does want you to meet his daughters. He's not ashamed of them - quite the opposite, he loves them dearly, and he doesn't want to feel like he's hiding them from you, or you from them. Though, there's not enough words in the common language to express how relieved he is when his daughters like you.

Even though he hates interpersonal relationships in groups, he also starts to outgrow that in bits and pieces. While on the job, he's going to be a bit more aloof, though he absolutely will indulge a handhold, and will only marginally shoo you away when you press a little peck to his cheek or temple.

Though, whenever you take breaks, he's definitely more receptive to any open displays of affection, and will even come to you to initiate. Especially if you're sitting, he'll come up to you and cup your face, making you look up at him - which is something that he loves way too much to be healthy. He's used to people looking down towards him, so being able to tip your head up? It's like a drug for him.

He knows that he's a walking space heater, and anticipates you setting your bedroll beside his own. He'll open up his blanket and grouse until you settle down, sighing out and finally snuggling up to you. Whether you like to be the big spoon or the little spoon, he enjoys the casual closeness. Though, his favorite is if you're bigger than him - being the big spoon, or more aptly, your jetpack.

Laios Touden

Being able to share meals made up of meal parts is a dream come true for him. He might pout occasionally if you are unsure about whatever y'all are eating. But, whenever he can, if there's something that you genuinely liked - then he's more than willing to share with you! I like to think that sharing food or cooking it with him is a love language of his.

If you're willing to listen to him constantly rambling about his hyperfixation on monsters, he'll continue on excitedly before he'll cut himself off, stumbling over his words and apologizing. Please - please, please, please, reassure him, even if you just tell him, 'I might not fully understand, but I just like listening to you.' You'll have his heart immediately, looking at you so softly and wrapping you up in a hug and thanking you. He knows sometimes he can get carried away, but knowing that you value his joy even if you don't fully agree, it warms his heart.

I like to think that rather than defaulting to kisses for showing affection, that he head bonks. You know how cats do the bunting? Yeah, that. He'll come up to you while you're doing something mundane and just bonk his head against yours. Sometimes it's a little too harsh, but that's just how much he loves you.

Above anything else, he wants you to meet his sister. While he may not be able to, nor want, to take you home to his parents - he does want you to meet the family that he cares about most. He'll share stories about Falin, things they did when they were younger, or when they were gold strippers, though sometimes he cuts himself off when he feels overwhelmed with what has happened to his sister.

He's a sprawler when he sleeps, usually on his back - pulls the full starfish. So, if you want to cuddle, you'll have to sleep in the crook of his arm, where he'll close his arm to bring you closer to him. Sleeping on the rise and fall of his chest, hearing his thumping heart skip a beat every time that you rest your head there. When he wakes up first, he can't find it in himself to wake you, craning his head awkwardly to watch your sleeping form with the softest smile on his face.

[daily-dubois]

Favorite thing about Harry? He's my favorite fictional character

Easy answer: his stupid dumb dumb face i like drawing it hes got good shapes

Real answer: warning for talking abt depression and passive suicidality!

aughggghhggg. There’s a lot I’ll be real, from the way de explores how one’s upbringing makes the person they end up being, to the themes of self discovery, the way it explores queer identity and how being a queer cop inherently pits you against and alienates you from thw queer community, to the way it explores the way one could become a class traitor, the way it tackles addiction, what i believe to be one of the best representations of systems, the way he allows for exploration of a religion as a methaphor for love which drives me NUTS, the funny silly jokes he does, his silly personality, ecc, there is one thing that stands out to me. The way Disco Elysium portrays interpersonal relationships when you’re depressed.

This isn’t subtext, it’s text that’s Harry is depressed, from the way he interacts with fhe dead body

To the way he views himself

To the way he views his relationships with others

Like istg. One of the most impactful moments of the entire game was that fucking letter. Most ppl focus on the “you have a vast vast soul and I’ll always come back to it” but i genuenly. The first part, its fhe best representation of how it is to love someone who’s depressed. Its even my alarm!

There’s this gentleness in it all. I can’t explain it other than as someone who’s depressed dating someone who isn’t, it feels like that, that what it feels like. Especially when you throw suicidality into the mix, it makes this cocktail of what you’d except to be met with ��you cannot love others until you love yourself” mentally thats rlly prevalent nowdays

And dont get me wrong, you need to know your self worth to be in healthy relationships, but as a depressed person, you ARE worth love, you ARE worth people’s affection. Harry gets to be depressed and you get to see it, he gets to be an addict, and Kim still loves him.

Its this, thing, that Harry isnt a burden to kim, it isnt just kim that changes Harry’s life, its also the opposite. Kim gets to loosen up around Harry, the trajectory of his life is just as changed as Harry’s is, they become inseparable. Harry is depressed and he also gets to crack silly jokes and like disco music.

Ofc Harry isnt loved by everyone, thats not my argument, its the interpersonal relationship aspect of it that makes me go :,). I like seeing depressed people who Aren’t improving get that level of respect in their relationships. It feels like the former means they dont deserve the latter, which isnt true: again working on yourself is important, but its undeniable that during low points there’s not much wiggle room, sure a lot of people help themselves up, and that’s incredible, but a lot of people need a hand, and that’s important too

This is also why i hateeee those jokes that are like Kim deserves better or Kim is out of his reach (or god for id “he hasnt showered since dora left him” genuinely i hate you hahahah depressed man is unsanitary get it?? Cause struggling with hygiene is a moral failing!!! Im so funny) because it ignores their dynamic in the game. Kim is a man that built his walls to withstand ANYTHING, he doesnt let himself get close, he TOO is repressed

Anyone could deconstruct those walls, but hasnt, it was Harry who did that!

Anyone couldve offered to play Wirrail during an investigation or dance in a church or used dialectics to get him to share a sandwich, but no one had until Harry, and that makes Kim open up.

Anyone could’ve shown compassion to Harry or have been patient with him and indulged him in his jokes, but it was Kim who did that (in recent memory, Dora wouldve been the first before his predicament, but he frankly doesn’t have that in his current predicament)

Point is, and idk id ive explained myself well, theres a gentlesness abt it all, abt the way Harry gets to have this nice thing, and that he isnt shown as unworthy of it, it means a lot to me.

Also on a larger scope od things we could talk abt how disco elysium criticises the idea of person first situation later approach to improving ones mental health but yk, thats a whole other topic

[warwickroyals]

INTRODUCTION - DRAMATIS PERSONAE - FAMILY TREE - LOCATIONS - PART ONE

BEWARE! The following information might make the events of this narrative REDUNDANT! (AKA SPOILER WARNING)

PRINCE HENRY, DUKE OF GLENCAIRN (1787 - 1840)

The third son of King Louis II, and father of King George. Unlike his elder brothers, he was soft-spoken and tender. An amateur composer and dramatist in his adult years, Henry’s life was turned on its axis when he became second in line to the throne. He died of a fever just six months after the birth of his much-adored son, the first male-line grandson of Louis II to be born in over thirty years.

LADY IMOGEN LONGFORD, later DUCHESS OF GLENCAIRN (1806 - 1881)

The mother of King George and Princess Octavia of Glencairn. At the relatively late age of thirty-one, she left her native England to marry the Duke of Glencairn. Following her husband’s death, she was vocal in her belief that her son George should come before the children of King James I and Queen Caroline in the line of succession. Her relationship with her children was strained and often the source of public controversy, but she remained—doggedly, unapologetically—at her son’s side until her death in 1881.

PRINCESS OCTAVIA JANE OF GLENCAIRN (1838 - 1902)

The only sibling of George, the pair were inseparable as children but drifted apart as they grew into adults. Often jealous of her brother’s inheritance, the relationship broke down when George refused to accept Octavia’s choice of husband. Although the pair later reconciled, Octavia never married. George was devastated when Octavia died alone in 1902.

LOUIS II (1757 - 1817)

King of Sunderland from 1802 - 1817, and grandfather to George. Sunderland’s second monarch, Louis II is largely known for establishing sovereignty and resisting efforts to turn Sunderland into a Prussian puppet state. In 1807, he changed the family name from Hohenzollern to Warwick, inspired by the country’s largest city. Though a successful king, he was harsh towards his children. His fearsome anger sent reverberations down the Warwick family tree.

LOUIS III (1782 - 1850)

George’s Uncle Crown, Prince Louis William Thomas became king in 1817. Holding the throne for an impressive thirty-three years, Louis married twice; one wife he loved and cherished, the other he despised and tormented. His only child, Prince Frederick, died after a long and harrowing struggle with tuberculosis. George was born in the last decade of his uncle’s life and their relationship was distant but cordial. George would remember Louis III as a large and gout-ridden man, always roaring with laughter.

PRINCE FREDERICK JAMES (1806 - 1835)

The only son of Louis III and his beloved first wife. Prince Freddy was everything his father was not: tall, dashing, and popular. Although expected to be a great king, his life was cut short by tuberculosis, the spectre that haunted North America throughout the 19th century. Freddy’s death sparked the succession crisis of 1835, prompting a mad scramble from his aging uncles to marry and produce an heir.

JAMES I (1785 - 1857)

The second son of Louis II, James I succeeded to the throne at sixty-five years old, the oldest monarch in Sunderland’s history. James married the flighty and insecure Caroline of Mecklenburg-Stralsund at fifty-three, by then having had 11 children with his mistress. A reformist politically, James’s short but eventful reign is today overshadowed by interpersonal drama. He was cruel to his nephew George, who in turn despised his Uncle Lennox and prayed for his death.

PRINCESS CAROLINE OF MECKLENBIRG-STRALSUND, later QUEEN CAROLINE (1812 - 1869)

The tormented wife of James I, Caroline hailed from a microscopic German state and spoke little English when she arrived in North America. Upon marriage she be Her marriage produced five children, but only one, the future Louis IV, survived infancy. Over the years Caroline grew shrewd but also paranoid and possessive of her delicate son. She served as regent during Louis’s minority, the only woman in Sunderland’s history to rule from the throne. While competent, Caroline was decisive as Queen Regent, being dismissed by George and his family as Karoline, das kindermädchen.

LOUIS IV (1840 - 1860)

George’s sickly and vacillating little cousin, as the son of the Duke and Duchess of Lennox, Louis immediately supplanted George in the line of succession. Sheltered and constantly ill, Louis deifed expectations by outliving his neglectful father, becoming king at just sixteen years old. Upon reaching majority in 1859, Louis flung himself into a scandalous and ill-advised marriage with Rosalyn Brair, an American commoner from South Carolina. Louis’s health deteriorated throughout his reign and he died aged twenty, but not before defying expectations again and declaring his estranged cousin his heir presumptive over his infant daughter.

[kcdodger]

Starfield: A review by KCDodger.

No game has ever touched me the way Starfield has. I firmly believe that it is Bethesda's greatest product and achievement, but I've been here before. I've explained it many times to many people why Starfield is good, actually… but, will you listen?

Maybe this time it'll be different. Maybe this time I can change things. Maybe not.

Starfield is every bit as good as No Man's Sky, Elite Dangerous, or whatever other space game you've spent hours on. In the following overview, I am going to use a series of shapes to represent what each game does, and doesn't have.

Starfield: ⬤ Star Citizen: ■ Elite: Dangerous: ▲ No Man's Sky: ⬧

I need you to trust me when I say that I am being objective about this. Starfield does have its problems, but they have been exaggerated. I really do mean that. So, let's begin.

Interesting Worlds - ⬤ ▲⬧ Well thought out Characters - ⬤ ▲ A good story - ⬤ A thoughtfully constructed universe - ⬤ ■ ▲ ⬧ Good Gunplay - ⬤ Good Piloting - ⬤ ■ ▲⬧ In depth Ship Customization - ⬤ ▲⬧ Replayability - ⬤ ■ ▲⬧ Roleplaying Mechanics - ⬤ Base Building - ⬤ ▲(colonization counts honestly) ⬧ Meaningful Progression - ⬤ ▲⬧ Character Customization - ⬤ ▲ ■ Loading Screens - ⬤ ■ ▲⬧

Starfield's not lacking in any of these.

Worlds

Starfield is rife with beautiful worlds that are absolutely photo-worthy, and all of them are procedurally generated outside of specific instances. If you think Star Citizen's are not procedurally generated, you really may want to think that one over. Core instances are not, but the rest absolutely is. (Probably serverside. But you know not every mountain and field is hand crafted.) Starfield's biggest problem there is that it has such a limited array of POIs and interactions. Yeah, it's really weird to find a cave with bones on Luna, and there really should be measures to prevent that. But, that's what happens when you build a single player game designed to compete with overhuge MMOs. I'd have narrowed Starfield's focus quite a bit were I in charge. Be that as it may, my gallery of amazing sights only grows.

I can not overstate the level of achievement Bethesda managed to pull off here, with Starfield's "Settled Systems". The amount of thought and effort put into each planet's properties, orbits, the ways they interact with each other, it's some really mind boggling stuff. Elite's is easily the best of that, but their engine is designed for it.

Somehow, Starfield did that on Creation. I still do not know how.

Characters

Constellation's cast is fantastic. As is The Vanguard's. The Freestar Rangers are great too. UC Sysdef and Crimson Fleet are if nothing else, memorable, and Ryujin's characters, while honestly odd in the context of a space exploration game, was really good too.

I don't know many characters from Elite. Everything they do happens in the background with no meaningful impact on the world. I've never heard of a character from Star Citizen, and No Man's Sky is anathema to the concept of characters. All three of those games are big open worlds where you and the other players are characters. I know that NPCs you can run into in NMS are apparently memorable, but nobody's ever given me a name.

But I can tell you the story of Sam Coe, a single father who's really struggling with it. I can tell you about Andreja, the displaced member of House Va'ruun. I could go on about Sarah Morgan, a woman who's had a lifetime of adventures in the last decade. Goodness knows I can talk to you about Barrett. That's just four examples. They're very well acted, well thought out, meaningfully interactive characters. They'll call back to actions of yours, things you've said, even their romances feel really good. I'm a very married woman who loves my wife very much, and it's actually quite impressive to me how genuine the acting and presentation of interpersonal relationships feels. Given the game is about how we all effect one another, how we deal with loss, moving on with the world and life, this shouldn't come as a surprise, but the characters of Starfield deserve recognition. I really like them all, even the utter bastards.

Story

Elite doesn't really have a story. It has a developing narrative that the devs guide gently. Yeah, the Thargoid invasion happened and those of us who participated in it had an effect - but to say it's a story is… lacking, I think. Star Citizen wholly lacks one, and frankly I'm not sure what No Man's Sky's is.

Starfield, though? Starfield is about discovering a mystery beyond your comprehension, but you get wrapped up in it. Starfield is about becoming part of something more and meeting new people, about learning who they are and what they've been through. You're likely the youngest gun in Constellation outside of Cora Coe, but your accompanying cast is all in their 30s and 40s, some even beyond that in their 50s and 60s. Walter Stroud is a rare character that way. I know this is the story section, but I have to go off about how aged a majority of the case is. Nobody's truly new to the job, but everyone's going into this mystery unprepared and ill equipped. The characters are all mature, and have beliefs and convictions informed by their lives.

You end up discovering what the story about the artifacts is, what they lead to, why they're being collected. It's a cosmic mystery without much of a definitive answer, but the answer really lies in how it makes you feel. On my main, I won't go into NG+. but going through just one NG+ has left a profound impact on me… and that's not even getting into what happened to me when The Death, occurred.

Few games have made me stop everything to put it all down and cry. Starfield has, and continues to. Fallout can make me sad, The Elder Scrolls can make me think and maybe even be mad, but Starfield can make me cry.

Universe

Elite, NMS, and Star Citizen do all have well thought out universes with factions and characters and gameplay that is informed by it. I won't deny that. It'd be intellectually dishonest to assert otherwise. Elite's is far future and a bit blase to me, Star Citizen's world is… I mean as unfinished as the product, and truth be told I know little about NMS' world. But I do know about Starfield's.

Starfield's world, its universe (and beyond) is a NASA Kid's playground (Hi, that's me! NASA kid! Through and through.) Starfield is for the stargazer. For the kid who wanted to be an astronaut, who wanted to be aboard a space shuttle. Starfield is for that person. It isn't for the person looking for a sci-fi military epic or a huge war, it's about the wonder of space, and the universe informs that. I could go on about the "Set design" of the ships, particularly Nova Galactic's interiors (AUUGGHH SO GOOD), about how the food is all thoughtfully packaged, about how the CHUNKS brand is inspired by existing space foods (technically, it ought to be some kind of hexagonal shape. But a cube of Sauvingon is just… chef's kiss), about how the spacesuits are big, baggy, clunky. About how almost every door is an airlock (even if that IS annoying!). The whole world is built around not just exploring space, but living in it. Which I just… don't get from the other games, who feel Transient by comparison. It's such a shame then, that Starfield's outpost building is quite lackluster.

Gunplay

I can not speak to NMS' gunplay, so I will not. Last I played it, it had about ten weapons or something. Elite: Dangerous' gunplay? Don't even bother, it's hot ass. I'm sorry, but Odyssey's release is seen as the game's lowest point for a reason. Star Citizen's? I've dawdled with it, it's very whatever, fairly standard. Oh, but Starfield…

I love Starfield's gunplay. Oh my goodness. As a shooter, it plays wonderfully. The control you have over your character can be iffy, but actually pointing and shooting feels really good. The best any gunplay in a Bethesda game has ever felt, and given how good Fallout 4's felt, that's actually quite impressive. It's helped quite a bit by how fun and interesting many of the gun designs are (and how bizarre some are. No, there are no square bullets in Starfield, you have been lied to, big surprise.) I will complain that there's definitely a set of guns Bethesda *wants* you to use... but that doesn't mean they aren't all a joy to shoot. Except the Disruptor that thing's feel is just garbage.

Piloting

Every single game on this list has good Space Combat. Elite's is thorough and well thought out, Star Citizen's is fast and arcadey (it is), and No Man's Sky is casually simple, accessible and fun. (It reminds me of Starlink.) and Starfield's is also very simple. It's quite ambitious, though, and it does something that none of the other do. It's not that you can disable ships system by system. It's not that you can enter a VATS-like targeting mode to do so. It's not that you can allocate power ala the old X-Wing games and contemporary sims. It's not that you have full control of your movement in all directions and can even maintain heading while turning. It's that you can do all of that, while near-seamlessly boarding with an enemy craft at any time, once you've taken their engines and shields out. I can't put into words how bonkers that is, dear reader. Because not only can you do all the regular space combat stuff, even if it is SLIGHTLY simplified, but you can use all - all the ground stuff you use, in space, when boarding an enemy ship. You don't enter another map, either. No. Yeah, your ship interior probably deloads, but the battle in space rages on outside. The world outside does not stop existing while you clean out an enemy ship (and if you took out their grav drive, you get to even fight in Zero-G aboard a ship, it's VERY cool!). The world continues. Yes, this is true for Star Citizen. But I'm pretty sure you can't do any of that in No Man's Sky, and Elite is honestly just pathetic this way. No shot has ever been fired aboard a ship in the ten years Elite's been alive, but Starfield's ships are riddled with bulletholes. And you can take them. You can own them. You can do hijacking, piracy, you can scrap the ship for parts, sell it, you can loot the contraband the pirates had - reader, that is not something you can do in any of the other games. Not even Star Citizen, because the mechanics in Starfield work consistently, and it's a finished product. Starfield is not scamming you. I can not emphasize enough how excellent the interplay between ships and the space combat itself is. What's even crazier is you're not glued to your seat. You can just... get up. At any point. No, you can't EVA - that does suck! But you don't really need to at any point, as funny as being a bug on a windshield would be. All of this interacts seamlessly with all those RPG mechanics. It's actually insane to me, and they did this on the engine that powered Morrowind. The one everyone keeps saying that they need to replace. I have no true idea what smoke and mirrors make everything work, but I do know that when my camera's clipped around, there are people walking around in my ship while I am flying in any of those eight degrees I can move in. I'm sure the trick has to do with only one ship having a "Real" interior at a time, but it is actually wild to me that they still got all of that rotating in space realistically within the player's reasonable perception. Starfield also lacks Elite's Engineering and unlike SC, is a finished product so... that puts it into the best here, for me, in this category especially.

Ship Customization

Nobody does it as good as Starfield and I'm going to be blunt. Yeah, you can equip whatever modules you want on the ship frames you buy in Elite, yeah you can tweak the ships in Star Citizen, yeah there are even custom ships you can play with in No Man's Sky now. But every... single part in Starfield, is customizable. Color, rotation, position, no matter what you want you can make it work. It does all get blocky and funnily shaped, but it all works. The habs exist inside and out, the geometry can be walked on, you can fit in the gaps of your ship... You can color your ship, name it, rearrange it any which way you want, you can decorate the interior and it'll stay that way (Gods Forbid you move a window, though, whups.), it's actually insane. The thing is, these ships exist inside and out, fully traversible. Elite cannot do that. NMS only does that with bigger ships. Star Citizen can do that, but it's just not a finished product and what, you buy the ships for actual money? Are you really going to spend ninety dollars for a low-mid grade ship with the paintjob you want? For an unfinished game..? Starfield has none of those problems. Yeah, you have to load into the ship but it's a short load, and the outside world continues to exist. It's a non issue. The customization is out of this world. Now, I will be real. There are issues. You don't have strict control of the doors and ladder placement. That is bad. That must be added. But the customization in this game is genuinely astounding. I can't get enough of it.

Replayability

Starfield has a genuine, narrative driven New Game Plus. It's really cool and it's really good. Anyone who gripes about the fact you lose money and weapons and ships - are sort of missing the point of a NG+ anyway. So long as you like Starfield - any game really - it's very replayable. Are E:D and SC replayable? Well, you can always load them again or start a fresh character, but the persistent universes makes that kind of a doozy. I do know that NMS has a kind of reset once you get to the center of the universe, so if you like NMS, it's very replayable too. But yes. Starfield's replayability is very good. Lots to shoot, lots to loot, lots to do.

Roleplaying Mechanics

Starfield is Bethesda's best Roleplaying game. Elite, NMS and SC, are not Roleplaying Games strictly. You may play a role, but it is not necessarily roleplaying. It's hard to be nonlethal, it's hard to be a talk-first-shoot-later character, but you can flavor your game any number of ways. You can smuggle and trade goods, you can play delivery person, you can play mercenary, bounty hunter, you name it. You can even be a lawman, soldier for hire, any number of things, and there are dialogue options, skills, modifiers, even literal powers, one of which lets you see what the other NPC is GOING to say, to facilitate your style of play. Starfield is a true, honest Roleplaying game. It's one of the most easily accessible space RPGs out there, too. If you want a Space Roleplaying game, it's this one.

Base Building

I will level with you. Starfield has an intricate Base Building system that is honestly needlessly complex but if you really like that kind of thing it's pretty intense. And tedious. Much moreso than Fallout 4's base building and truth be told not nearly as rewarding. It is a step backwards... If only for the reason that you can't build an actual colony. The biggest reason to build an outpost is for infrastructure and manufacturing. To what end? This is one of the moments where I believe the vestigial bones of Starfield comes into play. They wanted fuel to be a mechanic, they wanted outposts to be important, they wanted you to network your way through the settled systems. I am simultaneously glad and sad that these features were left on the cutting room floor, because it would have been really cool, but it also would have been very tedious. There's an entire faction - LIST, they even have a quest that introduces you to them, where their whole thing is about buiding colonies on the fringes of Settled Space... and the game just does nothing with them. It kinda' sucks. I hope they add that stuff someday. I'd like to play a version of Starfield where I do actually need those enormous fuel tanks.

Progression

Every quest has a good end reward. You can level into the actual thousands (though, ~314 is where you're going to have every skill maxed out!), and Starfield is pretty cumulative by nature. So much so, that you can very easily run into long term storage problems. Very few containers have limitless mass (and it's why armor and weapon stands are great, because they can store limitless ammo and a few guns. Great way to reduce mass taken in your cargo hold!). Starfield has an issue with inventory. Everything has weight. Some things are stupidly heavy. It's not the most enjoyable system and will pressure you into building an outpost/depot to store your stuff eventually, but that takes resources and Bethesda saw fit to add the *entire* perodic table into the game as harvestable materials. There are 108 crafting materials in the game, and you can't make guns, armor or clothing and that is honestly bizarre to me. Amazing game with some odd choices. But the character progression really is fantastic. Instead of linear "You do more damage!" perks (it does have those, but it's not all it has), Starfield ends up offering effects, every skill has 4 tiers, and you level those up by completing specific challenges. For instance, to max out stealth to get the most (or anything!) out of your sneak attacks (fun fact, you don't even GET a stealth bar without the stealth skill! Love that.) - you have to get 75 melee sneak attacks. Not kills, fortunately. So you genuinely can't just sit there on your stealth archer stint, you have to learn that melee can do x10 damage if you want that x4 gun sneak attack damage. Roleplaying!!

Character Customization

You've all heard it before. "Fucking Pronouns". Let's cover it. Elite is binary, single body type for each, has a solid face customizer. You basically never see it. Star Citizen has an alright customizer, but you rarely use it. NMS, you are just a helmet. Starfield gives you a huge array of body choices. Wanna' be shredded to shit? Go nuts. Want to be wiry, or really fat? Go crazy. You can get huge. You can customize your gait, you can put on a beard at any time, there's an entire vendor in the game dedicated to letting everybody in the world pay 500 credits (cheap as shit!) to change their ENTIRE body. Good golly holly what a bright future we live in to have such autonomy! Body type, face type, skin color, hair type, voice, pronouns (Those two might be tied together?). He/Him, She/Her, They/Them, you get choices. More than most other games. It doesn't ask you if you're cis or trans, it just asks you what you want to be. Isn't that just... Really nice? That all that matters is who and what you want to be and that can change at any time if you so desire? I love that.

Loading Screens

You. Have. Been. Lied. To. Elite: Dangerous is full of them. Star Citizen is full of them. NMS is full of them. They are all just really good at obscuring it. It just doesn't seem like a loading screen. I know Elite best, so I will talk about it. Leaving your ship? Loading screen. In an elevator? Loading screen. Getting in or out of your SRV? Loading screen. Getting into your ship? Loading screen (with big blue circles, at that!!), jumping to low wake? That is a load. High Wake? That is the biggest loading screen of all. Entering a POI, like a conflict zone? Loading screen. Leaving low orbit? Loading screen. Elite, oft compared to Starfield, literally has more loading screens. In Starfield, you can actually get into your buggy without a loading screen! You can leave it midair, try it, it's really fun! Push comes to shove, you are having loading screen after loading screen thrown at you. In No Man's Sky, when you dock, when you enter orbit, you are loading. It has the least loads of all, but Elite has more. I'm dead serious. Can't speak for Star Citizen, but what's there to load? A broken mission? I flew free for a weekend, and everything I did was broken. Who cares if there's no or low loading screens, if the game won't even load in the first place? No, you can't truly seamlessly fly between worlds, and maybe that does suck. No, you can't seamlessly land, but what difference does it make? You will always land at the POI. Maybe the middle man is important, but Starfield saw fit to cut it out, and perhaps that was the wrong move. But goodness it's honest.

Conclusion

Starfield is it. It is the Space game you wanted. But you have to give it a chance. It's exceptional. Just stop letting yourself be lied to. I have had to tell people the truth of the starfield sandwich so many times, and that lie has damaged the game irrevocably. That's just one example. It's all pendantry, that hurt the game. "Fucking Pronouns" this. "Square bullets" that (lies), "Endless loading screens" ad infinitum (just as many as any other space game. It's just honest.) Play Starfield. There will be parts that frustrate you. There are parts that frustrate me. But Starfield is a comfort game for me. It's a game I love. It's also a game that truly challenges me. It's good. It means so much to me. I have a constellation pin opposite to my pride pins on my leather jacket. I have a Nova Galactic mug that I drink out of regularly. I have a Constellation hat. I'm gonna' get that Constellation wall art piece, and I'm gonna' get my hands on that Chronomark edition someday. (If only I knew, reader.) It's not a 10/10 game for me. It's a strong 8/10. But that missing 2 isn't so bad. To Bethesda Game Studios, thank you for the gift that is Starfield. It'll stay with me forever.

[batmansymbol]

can't remember the last time i made a blog post on this blog. i really am becoming the hermit i always aspired to be.

looking for somewhere to put this particular exhaustion though and journaling makes me feel lonely and lately all interpersonal interactions leave me with the feeling of having transgressed in many secret ways unknown to me. so vent follows. although for the record someday when i am a true hermit i will have found inner peace, and i will no longer make posts like this, and i instead will be able to identify a cypress tree on sight.

for now, i've been having this feeling of kneeling in the surf with my mouth open and the ocean trying to force itself down my throat. i'm working four jobs to make ends meet. they are meeting, barely. my 16-year-old car broke down for the last time, and this week i bought a new one from a man at a dealership who lied to me over the phone about hidden fees as though $900 meant nothing. now i have new car payments every month but i no longer hear a steady drip behind me in the car when it rains, can't decide which of the two feelings of dread is more potent. i loved that leaking car into its grave. i often wish i had a soul-crushing 9-to-5 that paid me $75,000 every year like clockwork. i am spreading myself too thin socially. i love everybody in my life. sometimes i receive profound and beautiful reactions to my writing, and also with four clicks i can see criticism of my work online that makes me feel like i should never have been born. i struggle to weight these experiences in a reasonable way in my mind. i have not read a new book since sally rooney's intermezzo. i hate everything i write but luckily the hatred comes in cycles, counterbalanced by defiant love, like my relationship with my forehead. i have to believe everything i write is the one (the one that will financially or artistically save me). i have to tell myself the one doesn't exist so as not to get my hopes up. i have to remind myself my problems are atomically small compared to nearly everything. i have to remind myself of this because sometimes it's the only thing that makes me feel human again. i have dreams about friends i had in high school and the shitty jokes i made to them, how much more sensitive i could have been. in the dreams they hate me, or forgive me, or hit me. last april at age 28 i began to have back pain every single night from a degenerated spinal disc and now at age 30 i have anti-arthritis pills in my toiletries bag. it hurts to lean back in a chair, but i have all my limbs and my mind. i wonder every day why i'm not doing something differently. my inability to do anything meaningful disgusts me. i find meaning whenever i open the blinds. i have forgotten to switch my car insurance to my new vehicle, so after i press Post Now i will go to the website that will ask me for my password and to confirm i am myself.

[silver-horse]

I fucking LOVE how loyal the companions are to each other... and how their relationships are evolving with both each other and the player.

to all those people who think Larian is copying Dragon Age... well Dragon Age would never have this. where all the very fucked up companions who are in this shit together actually recognise that fact with common sense and they support each other despite any differences. Not only that BUT they recognise the similarities they have with each other and support each other based on that fact

Example: Astarion-Gale (how Astarion comments "he is a man of taste" if the player is a little annoyed with Gale and if player says that he wants to suck out magic lol Or when Gale is supportive like the "don't do it Astarion, it's not worth it, trust me, I know the temptation only too well" and so on...)

If this was dragon age then they would talk to each other like "how typical, ofc you are like this, dickhead" and trying to be helpful and supportive would be a 1 in a billion dialogue. they would only make shit worse for each other. and look... interpersonal conflicts could be a fun driving force of plot but in da it mostly doesn't drive the plot. they are just making shit worse for the other person even when it makes no sense and when they should be more friendly and understanding based on their own struggles.

Another example: Wyll-Karlach (their conflict actually does start the plot. it has a significance, it's not there for no reason. but even after that initial conflict they immediately become understanding of each other and supportive. they both dislike devils, they both want to escape from that situation etc. and they don't act like idiots who don't see that they are in this together. even though one of them tried to kill the other. one of them received horns because of the other. )

I could go on... but whatever, you get the picture. I just like this type of writing for interactions between characters.

[swamp-jello]

Hope I'm not too late: 36 ...to give up control

My brain did a little oopsies and I ready 37 instead of 36. Anyways, I caught it after I wrote #37, so now you get two! #36 (to give up control) and #37 (without a motive) are beneath the cut. Enjoy!

#36: To give up control

If Neve has learned anything in her 35 years, it’s that poverty hinders self-determination.

Whereas Magisters have total control over their fates, as well as the fates of others, the people of Dock Town do not. Whether at the mercy of the nobility or struggling to make ends meet, the common man in Tevinter rarely had the opportunity to make their own fate.

Which was why they so often seized control where they could.

For Neve, that meant controlling the power dynamics of her interpersonal relationships. Between the endless tragedy that plagued her life and the realities of life in Dock Town, setting boundaries was a source of power for her. This was something she did not and would not compromise on.

Or so she thought.

From the moment she realized her feelings for Rook, her desire for control began to slip. The Crow’s desire to help, to be present no matter the risk, had unlocked a part of her she’d locked away. A section of her mind that acknowledged her bone-deep exhaustion and ached for hands that would hold her when the burden grew too heavy. It yearned for the safety of someone who allowed her to be vulnerable, to let go of her sharp exterior and melt.

It wasn’t that Neve was unaware of that desire, but rather she never expected to meet someone who fulfilled it. With much of their romance unfolding in the Fade, Neve regularly felt the urge to attribute Rook’s goodness to a trick of magic. But when those hands were there, holding her up as they fought for Dock Town, the excuse falls flat.

Rook is who she’s been looking for and despite the fear that prickles across her skin at the thought, she realizes she wants to surrender control. The one thing she’s clung to through hardship and tragedy is now her offering to the Crow.

She only hopes Rook finds it worthy.

As night falls, Neve decides she’s ready. Exiting her office, she crosses the courtyard and enters the library. She climbs the stairs and drifts down the foyer leading to Rook’s doors, feet carrying her forward before fear can stop her.

Neve knocks and the door creaks open a moment later, Rook’s expression soft and knowing. They drift hazily towards the bed, trading tender kisses before Neve’s back meets the mattress. As Rook leans forward, Neve stops her, a gentle hand on her chest. As the Crow blinks, Neve knows her partner is afraid she overstepped. It only confirms she made the right choice.

Taking Rook’s hands, she places them on the buttons of her blouse, silently giving the Crow permission to strip her bare.

There’s a pause where their eyes meet, and Neve hopes Rook understands; hopes she doesn’t have to say it aloud. Mercifully, Rook’s eyes narrow, comprehension clear in the way she stares at Neve with unbridled hunger.

Relaxing into the bed, arms stretched out above her head, Neve hums with delight as the Crow crashes their lips together.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

#37: Without a motive

Living with someone was new for Neve.

It was strange at first and, in all honesty, strange still. Waking up beside Rook here and there was one thing, but waking up beside her every day was foreign. Good, restful, but foreign. Sometimes, as her eyes flutter and sleep fades from her mind, she has center herself and process the warm body curled around hers. As much as she loves it, she knows it’s far from the life she envisioned for herself just a short time ago.

And then there’s the ease they find in the mundane. The way their lives weave together, allowing them to navigate their newfound space as though they’d done this in another lifetime.

Finally, there’s the physical touch.

The way Rook’s warmth finds her in quiet moments, fingers grazing her skin, unthinking movements heavy with affection. Neve is so unaccustomed to it, however, that the memories are formative. She thinks about the way Rook’s fingers danced along her shoulder as she set dinner in front of her. Or the way her hand found Neve’s lower back as she slipped past her in the kitchen. Even the collision of hands as they reach into the cupboard at the same time, soft smiles acknowledging their shared connection.

If it’s not her hands, however, it’s the soft, chaste kisses that leave Neve breathless. A kiss pressed to her temple as she wakes, stolen as Rook sprints out the door, or brushed against her wrist as she reaches for a book.

It leaves Neve unsteady in the best way.

And, if she’s being honest, a little guilty.

She’s guarded herself for so long that she’s unsure how to reciprocate. She wants to; the need is always simmering just below the surface, locked away after years of isolation. When she imagines herself doing the same, it feels awkward and clunky; almost as though it would be unnatural for her to do it.

She knows that’s not true; knows that she’s capable. She knows she wants to do it.

So, she makes a plan. Slowly but surely, she’ll incorporate small touches and fleeting kisses. She’ll express her own overflowing affection in the way she’s secretly always wanted to.

When Rook returns from a brief trip to Treviso, hair and clothes drenched by a storm, Neve moves quickly. She meets the Crow at the door, towels in hand. As she drapes one over Rook’s head, they smile, understanding passing silently between them. Then, smiling mischievously, Neve rubs furiously at the Crow’s hair, causing them both to giggle.

A moment later, Neve peeks inside the damp towel and instructs her to strip. As Rook begins shedding her wet clothes, Neve runs a warm bath. When her partner enters a moment later, she guides her into the water before sitting on a stool beside her.

They sit and talk, Rook sharing the details of her trip and Neve explaining her new case. Eventually, however, Rook’s eyes grow heavy and Neve knows it’s now or never.

Her fingers drift tenderly under Rook’s chin, turning her head. As casually as she can, Neve’s lips brush against Rook’s. Pulling back, she finds the Crow staring at her, a soft smile gracing her features. Neve knows she’s been had; knows Rook sees through her. Despite this, the elf doesn’t comment, content to enjoy the affection.

It’s then that Neve realizes what she’s found. For as long as they can stand each other, she has access to unlimited affection; unlimited tenderness. Passionate or mundane, intentional or casual.

She could wish she’d figured this out sooner, but instead, she basks in the realization, her thumb brushing lazily across Rook’s lower lip.

[queerly-autistic]

One thing that I absolutely love is that Ed is not, for one single second, jealous of Stede's newfound fame. It would have been so easy for the writers to use that as the point of tension between them, to have Ed struggle with Stede suddenly being famous and people being more interested in him than Blackbeard, but there's not a single iota of it to be found. That sort of jealousy is just not a thing that exists in the equation of their relationship.

Look at him here. Although he initially assumes that the group of admirers is looking for him, when they say that they're actually interested in Stede, Ed isn't put out by it at all. His first reaction is to look on with interest, then to genuinely smile/laugh as he watches these people fawn over Stede, and then finally to sincerely congratulate him in this adoring proud voice. This is a man who is so fucking chuffed for his boyfriend.

Even in the bar later on, he's gleefully and enthusiastically giving Stede all these tips that he's learned over the years, helping and supporting him in ways that he no doubt wishes someone would have done for him when he was in the first throes of pirate infamy. He's not upset that Stede is over there with admirers rather than hanging out with him - he's giving his advice, essentially going 'HAVE AT 'EM TIGER', and then watching him go with big proud doe-eyes. If anything, he's thrilled that everyone else has joined him in seeing how spectacular his boyfriend is.

And when the conflict does come, it's not jealousy that fuels it. Instead, it's all about Ed panicking that they're at different places in life, with Stede succeeding at piracy just at the point where Ed himself is truly done with it. In fact, I think it's even arguable that a part of it is that Ed doesn't want to have to ask Stede to give all this up for him (even though we all know Stede happily would). There's not a single whisper of Ed actually begrudging Stede any of this.

It would have been such low-hanging narrative fruit to have jealousy play a part here, and I sort of expected it because so many shows would do it, just because it's easy drama. But not the OFMD writers. They took one look at it and went 'nope, not in this relationship', and I want to kiss them all lovingly on the forehead for it. Yes, in many ways they are both very immature, and they don't know how to be in an adult relationship, but in this? This is something mature and grown up that they just inherently do without thinking. This is a relationship where they love each other, and support each other, and genuinely delight in each other's achievements. They love each other completely and utterly, with no space for petty interpersonal jealousy in that love. And that's why, in spite of all the messiness and issues that they are going to have to overcome, they are strong enough to make it through.

[the-far-bright-center]

Further thoughts on film-Anakin vs. TCW Anakin....

(Anyone who really dislikes TCW, turn away now, this post is probably not for you!)

I've already covered most of this territory in previous posts, so some of this might be a bit of a rehash. But it's been on my mind again lately. I will preface this by saying that I truly understand why some fans aren't into TCW Anakin and I don't mean to suggest that anyone *has* to LIKE him or be totally happy with that version of the character. (While personally I adore the Skyguy persona, even I have major issues with how TCW writes his dialogue, at times.)

However. Sometimes I feel like certain Anakin fans are attached to an idea of the character that is not quite…expansive enough to factor in all his various facets. People forget that Anakin was first portrayed not only by the Original Trilogy actors (James Earl Jones, David Prowse, and Sebastian Shaw), but also by Jake Lloyd in TPM. TCW Anakin has a great deal of TPM’s little Ani in him, and I personally don’t mind that at all. Don't get me wrong, Hayden’s performance in AotC and RotS is iconic. I adore it and I will always staunchly defend his Anakin, who remains my own personal favourite. However, I think some fans mistakenly have this idea that film-Anakin is nothing but a perpetual sad-boi who is openly crying all the time. It’s simply not the case. It may come across that way since we mainly see him at pivotal moments in AotC and RotS -- these are huge turning points in his arc, when all his intense emotions boil over and spill out. But a) he is not like this every moment of the day, and b) he is not supposed to be a static character. Anakin changes greatly between AotC and RotS, that’s kind of the point. He grows in capability and confidence (with regards to his own abilities as well as his interpersonal relationships), and in his Force powers, too. It’s like people forget that Anakin Skywalker is CANONICALLY an extremely powerful Force user as well as a highly competent starpilot and capable and charismatic general in the Clone Wars. The RotS novelisation even portrays him as such. That famous quote about how he is the best there ever was and he knows it. Also that observation Mace makes that Anakin walks and moves and has a 'presence’ like the Holonet hero he is. And indeed, the fact Anakin is known as 'The Hero With No Fear’ shows that he has a very dashing 'persona’ that he is known for publicly but which merely masks the inner turmoil he’s experiencing. We see more of that inner turmoil in the films simply because, as the viewers, we are there to observe his private moments with Padme, who is one of the few people he actually expresses his emotional struggles *to*. Traditionally-masculine heroes are supposed to be stoic (not overly emotional) and self-sufficient (not needing to rely on anyone other than themselves). Ironically, this is what the *Jedi* want him to be. And Anakin’s tragedy is that he’s struggling to fit into the Old Order’s mold and adhere to it….when in reality it’s not what he needs. He needs the space and permission to openly feel and express his intense emotions before they overwhelm him. Likewise, he is repeatedly shown to desperately need the presence of his loved ones around him in order to hold onto the best parts of himself. A male character being portrayed as *needing* others at all in the first place is the very first sign that he’s not just some male power fantasy.

All in all, the idea that TCW Anakin is solely reduced to a macho ideal is not accurate. I still see him very similarly to film-Anakin: as a commentary on how attempting to mold a loving young boy into an obedient slave Jedi weapon of war will ultimately backfire when that young man is eventually consumed and enslaved once more by the very darkness he was fighting. While the literal shedding of his tears may not be shown on-screen during the TCW series, the intensity of his emotion is. The desperation he feels to hold onto his loved ones at all costs absolutely comes across. And, like film-Anakin, I would argue that TCW Anakin is portrayed, not as aspirational, but as a pathetic figure. (‘Pathetic’ as in the word pathos.) The sheer amount of times he is tortured and tormented on screen, shown to have various flaws and vulnerabilities, and the amount of times the audience is repeatedly reminded that he will eventually meet a tragic fate, all attest to that. The point of the Clone Wars series is to illustrate the famous line that Yoda speaks in the Original Trilogy: 'Wars not make one great.’

[spliqi]

hello i am asking about miss louisa may alcott. anything your brain has .pleas

this picture is sending mesjskjskshs. dw i got you cocos

also hi mari! tagging you here @marichild

putting this under a cut because it is Long.

oh louisa my louisa. i could talk about her all day every day.

she’s something of an american higuchi to me which. as we all know. i am not normal about that blonde woman. i see louisa as an exploration of misogyny in the classic lit world very much in the same way i do with higuchi, albeit from a different angle — higuchi represents it on an interpersonal relationship level, whereas louisa leans more into societal attitudes at large.

louisa stuck out to me a lot at first because she was one of the few authors i was already intimately familiar with before i watched the show and i was like ??????? this character is not really like her at all. what’s that about. but then as i got into exploring higuchi, her style and her influences and how asagiri integrated that into her bsd character it made some things click into place for me re: louisa

louisa and higuchi are similar with respect to the way their irl relationships with men/misogyny bleed into their work — ichiyo, and her turbulent unrequited love for her boss that manifests as a series of love tragedies, while alcott with her feminism & spinsterhood is shown in her work as a reluctance to incorporate romance at all. however, in both cases they were forced to conform and change the stories they wanted to tell to reach success in the times they were living in.

like i said before, in higuchi’s case this is very much seen on an individual level — so much of her work is influenced by the whims of her boss, but in louisa’s case this comes in the form of appealing to her readers on a larger scale. and this is reflected in their bsd character relationships — akutagawa is (initially) a lone wolf, and higuchi’s purpose revolves around him as an individual, and by serving him she’s not really serving anyone else. whereas fitzgerald is the leader of the guild, a man who is the spokesperson for the ability users of north america, and for lack of better words he is a walking pile of money. so when louisa chooses to follow him, she is quite literally chasing the bag 💀 and serving the american people, which is quite a good representation of irl alcott’s struggle imo.

i also think louisa’s social anxiety is an interesting spin on this. she’s afraid of what people think of her. she’s unable to publicize her true self. she only uses her ability for fitzgerald’s goals and not her own. because it’s the only way she can be something:

i do understand why people might interpret her writing as misogynistic because on a surface level it could be taken that way, but i disagree. i think there’s a lot more to it than that, and frankly i trust asagiri to do better than that. generally speaking the venn diagram of people who call the bsd female characters misogynistic and the people who have read gaiden is two circles on opposite sides of the earth so i’m not listening. (-> side note. i do find it fascinating that tsujimura is widely considered the best-written bsd woman and her irl author is also the one who lives in an era where women can write much more freely. this is another reason why i think asagiri’s choices regarding the female cast are intentional, especially since tsujimura was written before some of the female characters the fanbase shuns for being poorly written i.e. teruko)

+++ as overlooked as this fact is louisa is one of the smartest bsd characters. she is the strategist of the guild who keeps it all running behind the scenes. her irl author was likely queer, and was a committed activist against racial and gender inequality and knowing all that (because this isn’t even. remotely obscure information) asagiri decided to make her the cornerstone of the organization that represents america. i just don’t think that means nothing

anyway. moving on. MONTCOTT TIME!!!

to me montcott are each other’s first loves but also each other first friends (if we discount fitzgerald and anne) because lucy was being picked on in the orphanage throughout her formative years and louisa is canonically too anxious to have been comfortable around anyone except fitzgerald. this leads to two girls navigating their first friendship at 18 & 19 which really just pulls on my heartstrings. and then we have their tragic divorce (lucy betraying the guild. louisa unable to part from it) which pulls on my heartstrings in the other direction. i think their feelings are unrealized or at least not acted upon, partially because it’s angsty and partially because being each other’s first friends they have no way of knowing that their friendship is different from anyone else’s

i also like to integrate “louisa is lucy’s first love” as a concept into lucy’s relationship with atsushi — she’s very snappy with him and unable to let herself be vulnerable. i like to think this is because she remembers how it ended the last time she let herself feel, the last time someone said they wanted to save her and then they left her behind.

[aphrostarot]

Astrology and the Sexes: Virgo Man

Virgo Man:

Title: “The Vehicle” 

For simplicity's sake, I will use the pronouns “he/him” for the male versions of the signs and “she/her” for the female versions of the signs. This is not to say that the people who identify with the male or female versions of each sign identify with those pronouns. This post is focusing on the different sexes (male vs female), not gender. Gender is fluid, and I am in no way labeling people with these posts. Also, these posts are focusing solely on the Sun signs of each zodiac; other birth chart placements may cause someone to not fit into everything I have described.

Masterlist

Mind (how they think):

Virgo men typically project a mask of mysteriousness that will either put people off when they first meet them or pique their interest. This mask they put on in public is them hiding their deep sensitivity and wealth of emotional wounds. 

They would rather be cynical in all of their interactions than show how deeply hurt they are by the circumstances they have faced in their lives. 

Virgo men are masters of disguise, wearing different faces for different people, and keeping their friendships separate, so that others' illusions of them remain alive.  

Virgo is ruled by the planet Mercury, which also rules the sign Gemini. The ruling element of Gemini is air, which is aligned with their rules of communication, commerce, and speedy exchange on the mental and social planes. Because Virgo is an Earth sign, Mercury appears differently in them than in Gemini. In the Virgo, the same dynamics as the Gemini are displayed on a material plane rather than a mental one, showing a slow transmutation rather than an immediate one. Life isn't about restlessness and quick-wittedness for Virgos; instead, it's about a steady course toward a substantial goal, which requires patience and time. 

Many Virgo men end up working in professions that involve the alteration of substances, in some form or another. Such as ceramics, engineers, product designers, builders, architects, inventors, scientists, medical researchers, and doctors. 

Existence for a Virgo man is meant to be a servile, humbling experience. So, every obstacle they face in their lives is further pushing this theme onto them. 

Because of this theme they face throughout their entire life, they are more vulnerable to a litany of doubts, insecurities, and fears from a very young age.

The Virgo man is often born at a time when his parents are embroiled in struggle or strife; he also senses a sense of familial love between them. Thus, he will feel socially cast off for the majority of his life. 

He is typically smart in school, as well as musically and artistically talented. Although he struggles with interpersonal relationships.   

He may be mocked or otherwise made fun of from an early age, which makes him start to present himself as wounded and dejected. 

As he ages, two very distinctly different personalities will emerge. 

One will make him spend his life bitterly searching for revenge for the bullying he received at a young age, by amassing enormous wealth and/or power. 

This personality will result in him “overcompensating” with exaggerations about his wealth and status, showing off by spending way too much on clothes, gadgets, trips, food, drink, and gifts, all for himself. 

The other personality is a modest, unassuming character who uses divine inspiration for the common good, not for personal vengeance. Harry Potter is the perfect example of this type of Virgo man. 

From his youth, Virgo walks an emotional and, indeed, a moral tightrope. Avoiding conflict, he sidesteps tense situations, holding his tongue when feeling compromised. Like a volcano, he bottles up his emotions until they cannot help but blow up or sink him into a dark depression.

Many wounded Virgos will end up in professions that allow them to make big bucks by being their naturally grouchy selves. Such as a social or arts critic.

He can’t help but project his need for perfection, not only onto himself, but onto the world, and indeed onto other people. Nothing and nobody are good enough for him. 

Oftentimes, he will be stuck yelling about the imperfections, rather than attempting to alter his world for the better. 

Fear of failure, fear of success, and above all, fear of mediocrity may be what causes Virgo to get stuck being the sideline critic. 

This does have its perks, though; it allows him to be viewed as an expert with superior, discriminating taste. Although these people are unaware that he will actually not do anything they expect him to because of his fear of failure and judgment. And mainly because, like most critics, he can’t take even a fraction of what he’s capable of dishing out. 

Virgo is famous for his phobias and hypochondria, which are often caused by overprotective parents. 

He is also famous for being sullen if not Gothic in his temperament

At some point in his life, he will adopt a feeble self-image. This will cause him to seek out similarly disadvantaged friends and love interests with whom to sulkily associate.

Like the glyph of Virgo suggests in curling back onto itself, the path to Virgo’s happiness lies along a private, internalized path of quietly, humbly mining hidden talents, rather than in pointing a finger at the imperfections he perceives in the outside world. 

Body + Soul (what they look like inside and out):

There is something unmistakably guarded about the Vigro man, as if he’s perpetually suspicious, if not outright disdainful, of others. 

When interacting with anyone he doesn’t know, he wears a suspicious expression, leaning nearly backward, seemingly, to avoid breathing the same air as someone else. Ironically, though, he is the one who comes off looking suspicious, forever darting his eyes around, unwilling to make contact, transferring his weight uneasily from side to side. 

He’s dismissive of anyone he doesn’t know well - he makes a notoriously rude first impression, being wary of even the most casual, cheery exchange. Small talk seems plastic and phony to a Virgo, so he doesn’t partake. 

He has a knack for being quite judgmental, often delivering sharp, witty remarks that are both sarcastic and hilariously funny. His talent for sneaky one-liners can turn anyone nearby into a fit of cringing laughter.

Virgo man adopts such an air of expertise that people naturally trust his signature social judgments, finding themselves subconsciously instilled with his critical proclamations. 

The Virgo man is typically a creative mastermind who takes immense pleasure in hands-on work, showcasing his adaptable earth nature as a skilled artisan—whether he's sculpting, working with metal, carpentry, pottery, or even expressing himself as a composer, filmmaker, novelist, or choreographer, crafting beautiful works of art.

Virgo men are clever, sarcastic, and somewhat secretive individuals who often seem a bit offbeat, if not questionable, despite their well-known intelligence.

If you come across a serious-looking person who appears to be frowning, as if they've been tasting something sour, and seems hesitant to be in their current situation, chances are they might be a Virgo.

He is typically a big individual, either very tall and slender or quite robust and muscular. Regardless of his build, he has a sickly complexion, which is a characteristic linked to his zodiac sign's connection with the liver and gallbladder.

He often appears consistently downcast, as if life has left him utterly terrified, subtly manipulating the feelings of friends and loved ones who constantly attempt to convince him that the world isn't so bleak. However, more often than not, efforts to uplift his spirits are as futile as trying to get Hephaestus to dance the tango.

Regardless of how muscular he becomes—he's often a regular at the gym—the Virgo man's upper body is perched on thin, almost delicate legs, which become even more noticeable with his constant movement.

His bone structure is impressively solid, and his muscles are thick and rugged instead of sleek and lean

He usually sports a square head with a pronounced brow and hairline.

Often, he starts losing his hair at a young age, transitioning from a thick, coarse mane in his youth to a lighter, softer texture as he hits middle age.

His face is broad and serious, further accentuated by deep-set, piercing eyes and a long, prominent nose. 

He often comes across as a night owl, thanks to his pale skin, dark circles under his eyes, and the scruffy stubble he can't seem to tame.

He usually wears a lot of dark, often black clothing. Regardless of his profession, many may assume he works in the fashion industry because he typically chooses to wear the most expensive brands of clothing. 

He has a hulking upper body, often barrel-chested and big ribbed, which nonetheless tapers to a narrow by soft midsection, which can become blubbery if he leaves it unchecked. 

He is often quite hairy and occasionally hirsute in the extreme. 

Though thin his legs and ass are strong, and any attempts at buffing them up will yield a worked, “ripped” look. 

Much to his delight, he tends to be well endowed, generally enjoying an above-average length and a circumference that measures nearly as much. 

His hands and feet, like his head, are quite beautiful. Long, muscular, meaningful fingers suggest artistic as well as sexual deftness. 

Sex + Sexuality (what they are like in bed and what they look for in a mate):

Virgo Man Interested in Women:

The Virgo man is infamous for his tendency to become involved with women he can mold to his critical vision, all the while escaping scrutiny himself. 

Even in his teenage years, he may enter into relationships with girls who seem unfortunate, taking them on as projects upon which he can project his Virgoan criticism. 

He expects any woman worthy of his interest to carry a spotless reputation, sexual or otherwise. 

He will repeat this pattern in relationship after relationship as he ages. This is just one of the many forms of torture he inflicts upon himself. 

The bulk of his time and energy goes into coaching his significant other, leaving little room for romance. This is where his persistent sense that something is missing is founded. 

Sex itself is often seriously lacking in his love life. 

Another category of woman he might draw in while ensnared in his detrimental pattern is the submissive partner, who, lacking significant ambitions of her own, permits the Virgo man to dictate all aspects of her life, from her dietary choices and wardrobe to the extent of cosmetic enhancements she pursues. It is unsettling how closely the metaphor of shaping a woman from clay reflects the dynamics in Virgo's romantic relationships.

In some cases, he may be, consciously or not, trying to turn his current partner into the spitting image of a lost love. 

Still, as much as he tries to derive pleasure from controlling his partner, nothing is ever enough. 

True satisfaction eludes Virgo until he learns to turn his infamous wizardry onto himself, internally. 

Frequently, he opts for what appears to be the simpler solution, focusing on adjusting his outward appearance instead of exploring the depths of his intricate mind.

Anyone who knows him can confirm that he's really bad at sticking to his commitments. He's frequently late, sometimes doesn't show up at all, tends to avoid people, screens calls, or just doesn't get back to you.

This solitary mode may take up a chunk of his life. 

He may even take a vow of chastity in the hope that abstinence will purify his tainted soul. 

As he navigates this life change that often occurs in middle age (with Virgo linked to the ages of 35-42 and embodying the traits of a midlife crisis throughout his life), he tends to make significant and bold alterations. However, Virgos often set strict rules and harsh penalties for themselves, denying even minor pleasures, which only intensifies their fears of illness, mortality, and decline.

To truly love others purely and unconditionally, he first needs to drop that chip on his shoulder, recognize his imperfections, and learn to love himself regardless of them.

He has a built-in ability to keep a healthy distance in relationships.

Once he gets fed up with relationships where women let him take charge, he'll likely end up with a strong woman who has her own ambitions and a life she wants to live independently. This type of laid-back yet strong partnership is the only one that genuinely aligns with the Virgo male's mentality.

He tends to be afraid of proving lousy or just so-so in bed, which is why he rarely will take the sexual plunge in a relationship. 

Virgo's self-imposed standard is one of expertise; however, instead of pursuing perfection through effort, he often adopts a facade of competence, evading the real challenges while living a life characterized by innocence. As a result, he typically seeks out lovers who are much less experienced, allowing him to appear exceptionally skilled in all respects.

He believes that love and affection should be communicated without verbal expression, rejecting relationships that are overly chatty and sentimental. To effectively focus on his personal projects, it is important for his mind to remain clear and free of distractions.

He favors a setting that is tranquil, contemplative, and as serene as possible, whether he is by himself or with a partner. This preference extends to his sexual experiences as well; he desires a slow approach and values a woman who is also willing to embrace a relaxed tempo.

This is not to say that he won’t welcome proactivity in a partner, just so long as he is assured of having no demands made on him. 

He hopes his lover will take control over pleasuring herself in the bedroom, which is why he prefers his woman to be on top.

He gets off on being viewed as an instrument for his partner's enjoyment, grateful to not have to be the typical male aggressor.

Because of Virgo’s association with the 6th house of work and habits, he takes a dutiful approach to sex, choosing and sticking to a routine that works for him.

 The Virgo, known for their cleanliness, isn't one to create a mess in the bedroom. They are quite sensitive to any unpleasantness and prefer a tidy environment. However, due to their love for routine, intimacy can become a meaningful ritual, serving to strengthen and deepen their connection with a partner.

A Virgo man is unmatched when it comes to dexterity with his hands, and his mouth is equally impressive. Unfortunately, he tends to shy away from using it, opting instead for his increasingly calloused fingers.

He also doesn’t make any oral demands, though he’s willing to let his lover indulge any such fixations she may have. 

He experiences an orgasm as a full-body sensation, feeling an extended buildup that, unlike with many men, will see him shaking in precursory waves before he eventually erupts. 

Regardless of whether he calls it that, for him, sex has a tantric vibe, focusing on extending pleasure and reaching a lasting state of ecstasy. It serves as a way for Virgo to discover more about himself.

As with any of his habitual practices, he generally goes deeper into the experience each subsequent time, thus emphasizing the importance of a steady partner as well as a steadfast routine. 

Out of all the zodiac signs, he may be the one who is least interested in fatherhood. 

He seldom has sex just for the sake of it, and when he's single, he doesn't go around sleeping with different people. His go-to is usually a female friend or acquaintance he doesn't have strong feelings for, who is likely to give him oral sex whenever he wants, without expecting anything in return.

Even when he's in a relationship, his partner often has to remind him about sex. This happens because he can go for long stretches without sex and frequently needs a little push to remember his partner's desires.

He is not one to “brag” about his exploits with his friends. He prefers to keep his private life private. 

His more kinky longings are generally so deeply buried in his psyche that he may barely be aware of the range of proclivities he might actually possess. 

One classic Virgoan fascination is “watching”. Specifically, this entails observing an attractive heterosexual couple have sex. 

Other sexual reveries generally involve nubile-looking women, and, of course, virgins, whom, both in real life and in his imagination, he revels in deflowering. 

Sophisticated visions of corruption seep into his mind, fantasies that focus on the degradation of innocent or “proper” women.

On the flip side, he may envision himself as the submissive, putting himself at the mercy of a dominant, vampish woman with whom he can play out any number of lurking submissive tendencies. Humiliation fantasies abound in the Virgo psyche, regardless of which side of the spanking he lands on. 

Being cuckolded his also a signature Virgo man desire, whether he admits it or not. 

Virgo Man Interested in Men:

A gay Virgo man, who has been conscious of his sexuality from a young age, might look at relationships with men, particularly older ones, as a way to cope with his feelings of alienation and better his life situation.

He can be a real gold digger, exhibiting a particular appetite for foraging his way into a rich boyfriend’s deepest pockets. 

Virgo men, regardless of their sexuality, have been known to fabricate whole pasts to support whichever character they’re currently playing. 

Typically, gay Virgo men will want to appear the young, cultured protege to an older, richer man in whose image he’s petitioning to be molded. 

A young gay Virgo rarely chooses to show affection to someone his age or to a partner who doesn't have social clout or a strong financial situation. In his later years, he might be drawn to a much younger lover whom he can provide for in a similar fashion.

Once in a relationship, he may completely conform to his lover’s vision of a perfect partner. 

Virgo purposefully becomes wrapped up in his lover's life - often working for his boyfriend, purchasing property “together” or the like - legally and financially, as well as emotionally. 

He’s neither too dominant nor too submissive; he’s just a typical freewheeling Virgo man who, whether gay or straight, seeks plenty of blow jobs without having to invest much effort or involvement.

However, the mentors he’s typically attracted to may demand more from him, which he would readily volunteer to perform. 

To him, partnerships mean a tradeoff of personal freedom.

He might allow himself to be eased into what are, at first, vividly compromising positions to keep his lover satisfied, thus insuring whatever such niche he’s carving out for himself as ward, if not lord, of the manor. 

He soon learns to derive pleasure from being a versatile lover, one who’ll switch more willingly from giving to the receiving end over time. 

Still, even if his boyfriend possesses a tieless libido, emphasis for the Virgo will rarely be on sex. Indeed, he’s far more interested in the pristine public image he and his lover present. 

Not to suggest he necessarily masks his sexuality; he simply doesn’t flaunt it. Virgo merely believes that sexuality should never define a person.

Relationships like this give Virgos a chance to experience the nurturing they missed out on during their childhood. This kind of connection boosts their self-esteem and lets them indulge in a trophy-boy fantasy, while also highlighting their more delicate side.

The basis of any gay Virgo relationship is strong and sustaining. Since this love bond is really friendship first, Virgo doesn’t get too hung up on issues of sex and/or fidelity. Just as he can dally with someone else guilt-free, he is naturally forgiving of his lover’s forays, so long as they remain strictly physical. 

While he is happy to have an open relationship, unfortunately, not everyone is capable of similarly compartmentalizing. 

As he hits middle age, he tends to want to pass on the insights he's gained throughout his life. He seeks a companion who resembles him in many ways—a sort of sorcerer's apprentice—who will look at him with a blend of affection, admiration, and respect

[inquisimer]

dragon age oneshot fic recs

@dreadfutures said that we should do more fic recs and she's absolutely right, so I'm starting what will hopefully be a series of fic rec lists, leading off with some oneshot recs! These are just standalone stories that don't require a big time commitment and definitely stuck with me after I read them.

Check them out! and leave a comment or kudos to let the author know you did 💜

Feel free to reblog this post and add your own oneshot fic recs! Or make your own fic rec post and tag me in it so I can read and promote your awesome recs :3

-

My Lover's Phylactery by FrodaB

Cullen Rutherford/Female Inquisitor | G | 1472 words | No Archive Warnings Apply Author's Summary: She doesn't destory it Mer's Rec: this is an excellent piece that fills the gap DAI left (imho) about Trevelyan's phylactery! There's some excellent introspection from the Inquisitor and a bittersweet but somft and heartfelt ending between Cullen and his love.

Bent, Not Broken by spirrum (@spirrum)

Fenris/Female Hawke | G | 1595 words | No Archive Warnings Apply Author's Summary: In which Hawke doesn't run off to Weisshaupt, and an angry elf turns up at the Inquisition's door. Mer's Rec: this is a little slice of interpersonal relationships that beautifully captures Hawke's spirit! It starts with some platonic Hawke & Varric, perfectly encapsulating the exhaustion both of them feel after HLTA, and transitions smoothly into the heart-tugging reunion between Hawke and a frustrated Fenris who's very much in love.

last man standing (perhaps) by havvke (Wintertree)

Charade Amell & Carver Hawke & Female Hawke | T | 6749 words | No Archive Warnings Apply Author's Summary: Hawke’s teeth glinted when she grinned, except for the gap of her missing left dogtooth. Funny how they did that, even in such poor lighting. Glinting. Hawke barely seemed real. They’ve gone on a mission or two together since that initial, embarrassingly disastrous meeting, and it was still shocking that the woman lived up—if not surpassed—her nearly legendary status. Compared to the other missions Charade led with the Jennies, this was somewhat easier than her normal fare. But while Hawke was a known figure, and by technicality kin, Charade still didn’t know her. Mer's Rec: Okay, I'm admittedly biased toward this piece, because it was a gift for me as part of the 2023 Platonic Ideal Exchange. That being said, it is an INCREDIBLE work of sibling dynamics and I think of it whenever I think about Charade Amell. Havvke explores the relationship between Charade as a Red Jenny, Carver as a Grey Warden, and Hawke as...Hawke, in a beautiful web of complicated choices and found family. Over a year later, it still holds up as one of the best exchange gifts I've ever received.

Doggone by leggywillow (@leggywillow)

Alistair/Female Warden, Alistair & Anora Mac Tir, Alistair & Warden's Mabari | T | 3042 words | No Archive Warnings Apply Author's Summary: Alistair and the Warden are no longer together, but they still exchange letters - through Dog. Alistair struggles to find happiness in his life as king, but he isn't entirely alone. Mer's Rec: I read this one just recently and oh my GOODNESS it both made me laugh and also pulled at my heartstrings. Leggy alters the canon breakup between a King Alistair & the Warden to be somehow even more heartbreaking and the way that he talks to Dog is just so essentially Alistair, I could hear every line in his voice. Add to that several well done bits between Alistair & Anora and this piece absolutely delivers on the "sad" and "heartache" in the additional tags.

That Word You Call Me by thewitchofthewilds (gossamerstarsxx) (@saiyanshewolf)

Female Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford | T | 1768 words | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Author's Summary: The first time she tells him she loves him is the time he needs to hear it the most Mer's Rec: I love this piece for the intermingling of angst and fluff between Lavellan and Cullen. It leads in with one of the better descriptions of nightmare panic that I've seen and the way that Lavellan grounds Cullen from it is smooth and heartfelt, as is his reaction to her comfort. It caps off with some sweet fluff and a taste of human/elf relationships dynamics, for which I am a sucker, and which end the fic on soft, heartfelt note.