#lots of guilt trippy language too

[ghastbutlikegay]

i still regularly think about that time someone in a discord server, upon meeting me for the first time, said some shit like "heh. why do you always hurt me?" and i was like what. and then they said "oh. sorry. i.. mistook you for someone else" and every time i remember that i temporarily think maybe i should name myself something other than Cupid because people LOVE to be cringe about my name

[raven]

it just seems disgusting to be making fun of people and calling them scammers because they dont speak english very well and are using templates that have been written for them. just like people on here do when they want to ask a japanese artist on pixiv if they could use their art. or even just like you do when you are calling or emailing your representatives...! and wow these people got a few templates and are reusing them, sending them to multiple family members and friends to use as well? what a crime.

[neganium]

yannow, it occurs to me that I'm actually in an art server that I've never really posted in, largely bc a lot of people that I don't already know make me kind of antsy. I could probably ask for help wrt setting up a carrd and arranging a decent TOS for my work, or even find out the status of some of the brushes I use on Krita that I am uncertain as to the origins of (apparently some brushes cannot be used in commercial work, but I feel like it's harder to prove about a brush that isn't a direct stamp of copyrighted material than it is for, say, a font type; also I feel like that applies more for the brush itself and its distribution/modification). all I gotta do is, u know, actually Ask Them. which is a Problem, for me at least.

hh.

[thecindercrow]

It's just untrue that likes don't fo anything for authors. People may not like it but other bloggers are absolutely leaving "recommended based on your likes" on, checking the trending page, and using the for you page which is also based on your like and crucially THE LIKES OF PEOPLE YOU FOLLOW. Second of all saying likes mean nothing is inherently guilt trippy and pressuring the audience! You can't post guilt trippy misinformation and say "no pressure" it's still a guilt trip.

Yeah I'm getting more and more bothered by a lot of these posts going around that say they're for advice but come with this "do this or you're wrong" attitude. I felt that last one had a couple good points about the available space for commentary (I love the tag space for this stuff and I want new users to enjoy it too!), and my tags were meant to mitigate the parts I don't agree with/be a note to OP, but you're right that that was pretty weak. Also, reading it again, the language of the post is not as encouraging as I had wanted to be, so you're right about that.

There's been this big boom of posts going around trying to give tips to new users, and that's a nice thing to do in general. And some of these posts going around have some genuinely good tips about the mechanics and navigation of this website for new users. But a LOT of them also come out swinging with guilt-trips and accusations and telling people they're somehow being rude if you're not doing these specific things. I want to think a lot of this started with good intentions because there's definitely some weird areas between old users set in their ways that have been shaped over the years and new users who want to understand how to use the site, and it's helpful to understand some of the different functions here. But it's all gotten so nasty so quickly, and "here's how reblogs work" turned into "reblog or leave", or "some people are wary about bots, hope this helps explain why" turned into "if you lurk on this site you're a rude waste of space". I've let small things slip by before while trying to spread good tips, but I'm going to be more vigilant going forward about what I want to be saying here.

[fox-buried-in-maple-leaves]

the relationship asks for galin and. reader.

- coincidental redhead kisser

What was their first date like? If they haven’t been on a date yet, how would it go?

Chances are Galin tried to cook for you and then proceeded to burn everything! Because they did not follow Kisa's instructions properly. So sorry. But that's okay! They'll take you to get dinner out and about and then probably drag you to go see some pretty sights. It ends with them tucking a flower in your hair. It’s late at night and your characters want food, what do they order/find in the fridge?

Galin will whine about having to cook, they hate it! It's sooo time consuming.. Come on, let them order shitty takeout.. Please? They really want nuggies..

What’s a typical Sunday like for them?

If they aren't working? It's their rest day! Galin works a lot, and they don't get many breaks. Not that its Sulien or Inessa's fault, its just their role within Razvedka is incredibly demanding. So any day off.. They just want to spend with their head in your lap or taking a nap together.. They're so tired.. What’s their love language like? Are they compatible with one another?

YOU specifically are not super compatible with Galin in terms of love languages because they're one of my touchiest ocs. Like they'll respect your boundaries obviously but they'll occasionally have moments where they're sad they can't touch you. Beyond that though, Galin is really good about showing their love through actions or words. Do they have any pet names/nicknames for eachother?

They'll call you puppy. But in general, Galin uses 'habibi' a lot. And the CLASSIC bab(e/y). Deffo the lover to say something cringe like "my sugarplum" ok nerd. What do they argue about?

Galin is naive and childish at times. That sparks a lot of arguments in general. They don't understand the ramifications of the world around them. The cruelty of it. They don't understand, and in their lack of understanding, misunderstandings can grow. Who does what chores, and why?

Galin is so annoying, they hate how other people clean things. YOU cook and they'll do everything else, tyy. What’s the most difficult thing they’ve been through together?

Mmm probably the disbandment of Razvedka, following the events of Sandrone's ousting. Which, I never wrote for the public. But does exist in my skull and some drafts. But it is a VERY hard time for Galin. Razvedka is their family, and it was torn apart. How do they make up after a fight?

A hug please ): Who causes the most arguments?

Probably Galin, but usually unintentionally. What would they say each other’s worst quality is?

I'll j say their worst quality, in my opinion, is how fucking stubborn they are. What would they say each other’s best quality is?

Okay but their best quality is the sunshine disposition. What names are they saved as on each other’s phone?

Galin would have a partner saved as "loaf of my life" or a similar pun lmao.. What would they consider quality time?

Going out! Maybe to a restaurant or a bar or for a walk or sight seeing or to a theatre!! They just want to spend time with their partner, in any way, every way. Who decides which movies to watch?

I'm sorry, Galin will cry if you don't let them pick. guilt trippy mf.. How are they like on a road trip together?

Will fight you over music. Keeps stopping to pee. BANGER tunes tho, never gets lost, snack machine. It’s raining, did either of your OCs bring an umbrella? If so, who, and do they share it?

I hope you did because Galin fuckin didn't. What are they like when sharing a bed?

They're so fucking clingy... You're gonna have to put a pillow between yall if you don't want them half on top of you and clinging to you like their lil life depends on it. Who is better at games? Does the loser take it graciously?

Galin is really good at games so you have a competitor! They're not a sore loser at least, so that's nice. Do they ever share clothes?

Galin WILL steal your clothes. They'll let you borrow theirs too if you want!! Your OCs are on a trip and there’s only one bed! What do they do?

Galin would offer to sleep on the floor if it'd make you comfortable, they're also small enough to curl up on a chair if there is one. Otherwise, they're cool with sharing!! snuggle time. What do your characters think about marriage? Are they for or against it?

They do like the idea! Up to their partner, of course, but they'd love the idea.. Do any of them have bad habits that the other can’t stand?

Galin refuses to let people help them carry stuff. It's a terrible habit, fella j let us help you. christ. Who is more down to earth?

Galin is the definition of down to earth so.. Are they affectionate in public? Is it too much?

If you let them be they will be! They won't go overboard, but some handholding, hugs? leaning? maybe a kiss?? depends on their partner. but they love being a lil affectionate... How are they affectionate in private?

even worse... Galin is just really really affectionate. How does your OC react to being broken up with?

"You want to..? Oh.. Was it something I did? Was it something I said? Please.. Can you at least tell me why..? I'm sorry that I've disappointed you.." they'll be sobbing into Kisa's tail for the next two weeks. Do they fall in love easily?

They fall in love with everything really.. Your character is in love, do they confess? If not, how long do they wait?

Galin is so scared of not being wanted, so they tend to wait or hesitate. But if something big happens then they'll spill their feelings so suddenly its like whiplash. Who was the first to say ‘I love you’?

GALIN........ Who is more stubborn?

probs Galin. What moment did they realise that they were in love?

Listen to them ramble for hours between bites of hot peppers... j so casual and nice.. they fall in love so easily with people who don't judge them lol.. How long have they been friends? Would they consider each other best friends?

Galin is 1000% the "my partner is my BESTIE." person. Who’s more ticklish?

They're super ticklish lol- If your OCs has/had a child, who would be the stricter parent?

Galin is not strict at all so uhh. do with that what you will?? What do they do when they miss one another? Is one more needy than the other/s?

Galin is definitely the needier one.. They'll wrap your shirt around your pillow and snuggle that.. Or if they're away on a mission or for work, they'll send letters as often as they can! up to and including every day if they can.. What green flags do they have for one another?

Their biggest green flag is the fact that they listen and that they're very willing to learn. Have they ever been jealous?

They are uhhhh more jealous than they'd like to admit... Is one more introverted/extroverted than the other?

GALIN IS AN EXTROVERT, PLS WATER UR SUNSHINE. Who’s the better cook?

definitely not them... Are they good at comforting one another? Does someone hide their feelings usually?

Galin really struggles to hide their feelings from a partner or somebody that they're exceptionally close to. They struggle to lie to a lover. In general though, Galin is good at comfort if asked for comfort. They'll learn what you need and adjust accordingly. Would they have been friends with each other in school?

They are friends with everyone always so jot that down. Who made the first move?

Depends, since Galin takes a hot minute to process their emotions.. Do they get on well with each other’s family? Is family important to them?

Galin's family is gone now.. But they hope you get on with Razvedka. That's their family now, it's all they have. And it means everything to them. Do they tease each other? What about?

Like I mentioned with you specifically Rex, Galin would use puppy/dog teasingly! They tease about a lottttt of things. Lil shit. (and for my other Galin lover, yes kitty/cat/kitten would also be used in teasing) Is there anything that scares them about their friendship/relationship?

Galin is afraid of not being wanted. They don't even need to be loved, just cherished. They want, no need, to be wanted. And they're afraid one day they won't be enough.

[j0kers-light]

this is kinda sad but how do you think j would react if b had neglectful parents. especially a neglectful father. my mom and me are close but sometimes she can be really guilt trippy, and tends to assume the worst about my intentions and actions. also i don't blame her for this but my mom homeschooled me, but she was so busy working, no one really taught me anything until i found a tutor in high school. but my main issue is my father. he knows only the bare minimum about me and is sometimes kinda narcissistic. it’s just sad whenever i try to talk to him he never really listens to me (he is always scrolling on the phone or working) and when he does listen there's a good chance he'll yell at me or start an argument.

sorry for the trauma dump but i just am in a "self insert needing comfort" kinda mood if you know what i mean. and you don’t have to use my specific situation, i know it’s not very interesting. and you don’t have to write it all if you don’t feel comfortable. and no rush writing this if you want to write it. I’m just kinda curious if j would be annoyed at her parents for ignoring her so much. much love 💖💝💘💞

Hey hi anon 🖤✨

I thank you for the info dumb! Sometimes you need to vent and this be a safe place love!! I would love to write this self insert for you! Ion even like hugs but you need one hon bring it in! 😭🫂

I turned this into a hc if that’s alright with you. I hope you enjoy 😘

Joker knows the signs all too well and he understands your pain.

His parents also neglected him growing up, so I think J would sympathize with you heavy.

You are very independent, mild mannered, and when put under pressure, you strive to achieve and win big (traits your parents unknowingly taught you) however it’s never enough.

You can break a thousand records and win twice as many accolades and still not win their attention which is all you ever wanted.

Joker notices that you’re always quiet, forever in the background, and he has to work twice as hard to make you feel included.

Joker wants you in his life. He won’t neglect you. He’s not your parents. Where would he go anyways? It’s a constant battle to prove himself and you make it harder than it should be.

Those are some of the reasssuring words J tries to drill into your head but it’s a 50/50 chance if you believe him or not.

You know all too well from your father that words are empty and using the wrong one can lead to an unnecessary argument.

So you’ve learned to keep quiet and you remain passive to avoid any conflict.

You assume that Joker doesn’t listen to what you have to say only to be shocked when he repeats every word like it’s textbook.

Joker remembers everything his girl says. Trust.

He goes out of his way to remember every little detail about you and he loves to surprise you with gifts and your favorite things to make you happy. It shows that he cares.

His love language is acts of service/quality time in this scenario and this simp looooooves to spoil you with both. He’s got a lot of years of neglect to make up for after all. 😘

Joker knows all too well what the negative effects of neglect can do to a person and he doesn’t want his Bunny turning into a bad apple. He likes you the way you are!

Overtime his efforts help you to open up and express yourself better, but that all changes when your parents decide to visit.

Joker warns you before they arrive, “If they treat you wrong Y/n, I. Will. Kill. Them.” All with a smile on his face. Oh boy. This won’t end well.

Your mother arrives first and thankfully she’s in a pleasant mood. For now.

She hugs you at the front door and you don’t see her judgmental eyes glancing around your apartment behind your back.

“What a lovely place, Y/n! I know you have a pretty face but still! Who’s dumb enough to pay for all of this?”

The insult makes you freeze and shoot a glance down the hall where you know Joker is eavesdropping. He promised he would remain hidden— with the exception that your parents behaved.

If they treated you wrong, they would have to answer to The Joker. And you would be an orphan. 🙂

You lay on the damage control thick to save a life.

“Ahaha.. um I pay the bills around here mom. You know, since I have a high paying job from my (insert degree).”

Your mom just laughs. “Oh. I forget you’re the smart one.”

“No thanks to you.” You mumble under your breath. Although she homeschooled you, if it weren’t for your high school tutor, you would have never graduated with top honors or graduated at all. She taught you nothing.

But that was water under the bridge. Mom was too busy to care then; why should she care now?

The visit goes well with no other major snags until your dad arrives. You can already tell this won’t go well.

He walks in, already preoccupied with his phone to give you a proper hug. He sat down on your couch and tossed a halfhearted greeting your way.

Mom smiled but is of little help to you. Typical. You’re left to deal with this on your own.

“Hey dad. T-Thanks for coming over.”

“Mm. You’re lucky I had the time.”

His words hurt however you can’t let them get to you. Years of practice help you smile through the pain.

“Yeah. Lucky. Listen, um I was thinking while we’re all together we can go out to eat or something..”

“No Y/n, you listen! I just said I don’t have time! I barely squeezed in this meeting. Always asking for things while not being mindful of other people’s time! Have I taught you nothing?”

You automatically drown out dad’s yelling and you don’t bother looking at mother for help.

She’ll just preoccupy herself with her own phone to ignore the abuse unfolding right before her eyes.

It’s always been like this. Things will never change. Until it does.

You’re the first to hear the door opening down the hall and just like that, you remember you have a murderous boyfriend who is a man of his word.

Joker has heard enough of the verbal abuse coming from your parents. You’re about to be an orphan and no he’s not sorry.

He did warn you.

[rainbow--skies]

Pinned Post Re-do. Again.

About Me

Rainbow

Url used to be @rainbowpie14

Discord is rainbowsk1es but I probably won't accept requests if I can't tell who you are

Any Pronouns

Lesbian

Minor

Christian but normal about it (I post about religion sometimes but it's tagged)

American of Italian and Puerto Rican descent (White, Hispanic + Latina)

Any personal information that's not here I probably won't tell you. I do not post my face.

Tagging

#rainbow's mind 24/7 is most original posts

#rainbow's thoughts on life is reflections on my experiences & people I've met

#rainbow rants is me complaining

#my art and #my writing are for if I get around to making anything I want to share

#reblog is what it says

I tend to use a lot of generic categorization tags for fandoms, ships, characters, art and writing, tutorials, animals, etc.

I use #unreality, #tw blood, and #tw gore where necessary and try to avoid guilt trippy "you must reblog this" posts

If you need other trigger tags just ask but I may say no if I don't think I'll remember. I won't tag caps and swearing for sure I used to but I post way too much of them and will forget

DNI

I'm not doing a whole big list anymore. If you're a bigot, exclusionist, or send people death threats I'll block you because you suck. If you mostly post NSFW I'll block if you try to follow because I keep this blog SFW besides the occasional mild joke. If you're under 13 and admit to it, I'll block you if you try to follow because I want you to have a good childhood and not be on Tumblr. Other than that I think most Tumblr discourse is pointless but if you really want to know where I stand on something, ask.

Sideblogs

@yourfaveislesbian: Putting your favorite characters on the lesbian flag (I tend to post in sporadic bursts)

@magnus-institute-official: Me and @stardustedlyra roleplay an AU of the Magnus Archives (inactive but maybe we'll go back to it someday)

@ask-drtk: Me and a bunch of friends' askblog for characters from a roleplay (not running yet but we'll probably get there eventually)

@sideblog-with-everyone: Trying to get as many Tumblr users on a sideblog as possible. Feel free to join! (I'm not an admin but I figured I'd help promote the effort as I am still on the account)

Fandoms, other hobbies & interests, any random shit I feel like putting in the future, and credits for images under cut. I probably will update that section more some day.

Fandoms & Media-Related Interests

There are varying degrees of activity here. Some of these might just be occasional analysis or gameplay posts, some I also do ship and read fic and stuff in. Sometimes I may post other stuff too if I see something cool for an old/less serious interest I don't follow much or I forgot to update this.

Keeper Of The Lost Cities

Warrior Cats

The Hunger Games

The Magnus Archives

The Magnus Protocol

Witch Hat Atelier

Azumanga Daioh

Sanrio Characters

Yotsuba&! (Still reading)

Akiba Maid War (Still watching)

Dungeon Meshi

The Sims (Especially Sims 4)

Animal Crossing (Especially New Leaf, Happy Home Decorator, and New Horizons)

ClanGen

Roblox (Various games)

Various webcomics, mobile games, and other digital media

A lot of music, but my favorite bands are Paramore and The Crane Wives

If you want to know more about anything on here, characters and ships I like, etc., please ask! If you want to recommend me something, go for it as well! After I finish the two things still in progress on here I probably will start Dungeon Meshi next though.

Other Interests

Trombone (I've been playing for 6 years)

My own and my friends' OCs

Computer Science

Languages, especially etymology and names

Science, especially biology

Writing

Drawing

Credits

Divider from @sweetparty

[pocket-pal-salt]

There's this one user that makes me really uncomfortable... They constantly talk about how many bytes they have, practically obsessing over them and acting like everything should be byte only. They use a lot of guilt trippy language too. It's so awkward and I hate wanting to use a channel only to see them there

ミ★

[heartate-aa]

first of all. let me start by saying this.

there is no place for hatred of any kind in this community, or any community for that matter. no racism, no transphobia, no homophobia, nothing.

i think it’s important to recognize that there’s a time and place for everything, be it certain discussions amongst certain people or whatever. i think it’s extremely important to recognize that for a good majority of the time, it’s not our job to police the language that someone chooses to use when speaking about themselves. that being said, that doesn’t take away from the fact that the language in use can still be distasteful and harmful, and that’s an important sentiment to express. it is also so important to recognize that just because you are ok with using that language, even if you’re not using that language as a blanket statement to necessarily everyone, it doesn’t make it any less offensive. but again, if it’s not our place or right to police their personal use of it, it’s not something that should be squashed with harsh language, and instead i think it warrants better conversation to discuss the harm rather than be harsher about it. but i do agree that like ... usage of certain offensive languages just ... maybe shouldn’t be done publicly because not everyone will take kindly to it and of course people will be upset. there’s no getting around that. but there’s no room for anon hate or adding fuel to the fire, especially publicly and making a big mockery of things, you know? it doesn’t solve anything.

i don’t agree with any kind of witch hunt and callout culture in general. it’s so important to callout people who are genuinely vile and abusive and toxic, and sometimes it’s such a hard line to define when it comes down to whether or not you should bring something out publicly or resolve it quietly. i see both sides of this and i sympathize with everyone’s sentiments. i feel so anxious and nervous because . . . i just want to write quietly and vibe with everyone and i adore everyone who’s “opposite” to this situation and i would like to remain on good terms with everyone. i don’t feel as if it should be an issue because i’m not going to go out of my way to force everyone to cross paths and interact with people they don’t want to interact with.

i don’t like being made to feel as if i’m under obligation to choose a side when it’s not my personal involvement, and that doesn’t make me complicit or enabling in anyone’s behavior. it isn’t my business and i will not stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. that being said, if i was witness to friends being shady or doing something gross, i will absolutely check them on it.

i’ve been so quiet because i really really really hate the sentiment that comes across as a huge guilt trip of “if you don’t rb this you’re part of the problem” when i am not involved, and i’m sure this is something many others feel too. it’s guilt trippy and extremely anxiety inducing and it feels really awful and makes me feel so guilty when i shouldn’t, because i’m not, and others are not, burying their heads in the sand. we’re not ignoring the issue. i feel for everyone involved so deeply and i’m so sorry that this is something that you guys are enduring and have endured for so long, and i feel especially for those who have been dragged into this despite being uninvolved and i hope that you find a way to relax and take time to yourself because you deserve it. but truly. the guilt tripping statements like “if you don’t rb this you’re enabling this” is NOT the move. because i think i can say this for a lot of us that we would check our friends if they said or did something that was fucked up and that we’d stand up to toxicity. please, when you’re trying to call anyone to action for any reason, please do not use language like this. it’s guilt trippy. it’s anxiety inducing. i know that there’s no ill intent behind it, but the way it comes across isn’t great and i think there’s other ways to express the need to share things that are important.

i think i can speak for most of us when i say that the majority of us here do not agree with grossness like transphobia and bullying and witch hunts and abuse and general toxicity. just because we don’t necessarily involve ourselves, doesn’t mean that we don’t see it or that we agree with the nastiness that’s occurring. i will never stand for abuse or bullying and any kind of gross toxicity. and if i run into someone who’s nasty, or if i’ve been warned about someone and i use my discretion to tread with caution, it’s not because i’m ignoring the warnings or enabling them, i’m trying to make my own decisions and if it turns out that yikes, jeez, they’re a bad apple after all, i’ll have learned my lesson you know.

it’s ok to block people. the point of the internet is to curate your own personal experience and make it comfortable and best suited to your needs. you should not feel guilty for blocking anyone. you should not feel guilty for standing up for yourself and your friends and creating the best environment for all of you, and most especially yourself. in a world as crazy as the one that we live in, it’s so important to take care of ourselves and find our happiness, and for a lot of us, that’s tumblr rp and weaving together beautiful stories with one another. this community has been really beautiful, but it also has its occasional bouts where it just ... doesn’t feel as great. i think a lot of the issues people have can be solved with conversations, perhaps mediated by neutral and unbiased parties if that makes it easier, but i digress.

i just. really hate to see people hurt and see people upset and fighting one another, especially when it’s amongst friends or people who were friends. disagreements happen. we can’t all get along. and no we shouldn’t enable toxicity or gross language or anything nasty. we should absolutely take initiative to act on that and check the people around us, because hey, maybe some people don’t really realize how insensitive something is until it’s expressed to them. i think people are capable of learning and changing and growing.

i want to get along with everyone. i don’t want to feel like i’m being forced to choose between my friends or mutuals that i adore. i just want to enjoy myself here with everyone. i don’t want to be made to feel bad just because i talk to someone who doesn’t like someone else, you know?

anyway. i’m sorry this is so long. i doubt anyone has read this far because i really wrote a fucking book here i just. had so many feelings that i’ve been sitting on all day and it just. got out of hand. adhd rambling and all. i’ll delete this whenever.

please be kind to one another. there is no room for hatred here. i don’t care if you dislike someone or don’t get along with someone. i hate that tumblr preaches about positivity and being kind and then we don’t take our own advice. we never know what someone has going on, and even if you disagree with someone, there’s no place for hateful language or sending anons or whatever. be kind. we can’t all get along and be friends and i know it’s hard to just. ignore people. and we shouldn’t have to be in a place where we even need discussions like this because most of us are adults and we should know how to act and talk to and treat people.

to everyone, be kind to yourselves most of all. i love everyone here, i really do. i feel for everyone deeply and i’m here if you need someone to talk to or game with or chat about plots with, or whatever. take a breather if you need it. please take care of your health! i don’t want anyone to be hurt more than they already are in this time, and the world is difficult enough as it is, and we don’t need our hobbies to become burdens.

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. What would you do if your pet suddenly started to talk to you, but nobody else could hear it? Would you assume you'd gone mad or simply be happy for the company? Would you try to convince your friends and family or would you be satisfied keeping it to yourself? Omggg, that would be so trippy. I’d definitely be freaked out at first and think someone slipped me something haha. I think I’d keep trying to talk to her and get her to respond before it really set it in that it was really happening. I’d have so many questions and things I’d want to say. That would be so cool. Hopefully, she wouldn’t have anything bad to say... ha. What if she just started going in on me about everything I’ve said and what she has observed. She’d be like, “girl, you need to get your shit together.” haha. What if she wasn’t as sweet and loving as I think she is? :O lol. Nah, we’d have an even closer bond. (: Anyway, I honestly don’t know if I would tell anyone. I’d certainly want to. I’m positive I would try and record her talking for proof. If not, then maybe I’d try to prove it another way. Like, have my family say or ask her something without me hearing and then ask her about it and tell them what she said. I’d find some way!

2. When you answer the phone, what do you typically say? Is it different depending on whom the caller ID says it is (if you have caller ID)? Generally, just a typical “hello.” Sometimes I’ll say something else when my mom calls. Like, jokingly I might act annoyed and say, “What do you want?” or “Hey, boobala/boob” lol. My family and I call each other those nicknames. 

3. Is there a food that you only recently started to like? If so, what is it and when did you start liking it? How often do you try again foods you don't like to see if your tastes have changed? Prior to a couple months ago I didn’t eat breakfast sandwiches very often and the addition of cream cheese was something new for me. It’s not that I didn’t like breakfast sandwiches before, it just wasn’t something I had too often. My brother got me hooked on this local place that makes ‘em and then we started making our own. I also started eating guacamole with my scrambled eggs. I don’t retry foods I don’t like. If I don’t like something then I just don’t eat it again. 

4. Who would you NOT want to read the surveys you've posted on here? What would most likely happen if they did read it? Is there anyone you actually wish would read your survey answers but whom doesn't? I’m really open on here and share stuff that I don’t express or open up about in person. I can get deep and dark sometimes. I wouldn’t want my family to see some of my responses because I wouldn’t want them to worry or know certain things. There isn’t anyone I know that I want to see my surveys. These are like my personal journal entries. ...that people I don’t know can read... ha.

5. What three things do you think will become obsolete in the next ten years, and why? Hmm. I don’t know. That requires more thinking than I can be bothered to do.

6. Do you watch Glee? If so, which song do you want to hear on there that they have not yet done? If not, which TV show do you think has the best soundtrack? No, I never got into Glee. I’m not sure about which show I’d say has the best soundtrack. I don’t really pay that much attention to that.

7. What do you find to be the most irritating piece of clothing to wear wet? Are you the type of person to go to great lengths to avoid getting your clothing wet? What about your hair? Jeans for sure, but I don’t like wearing wet clothes of any kind. It’s just uncomfortable and makes me cold. I don’t feel I have to go great lengths to avoid getting wet, though. I don’t encounter situations where that could happen all that often. I don’t mind if it’s raining and I get a little wet, but I don’t want to get drenched. I don’t really care about my hair getting wet anymore, but I used to hate it when I actually attempted styling my hair because my hair gets very frizzy and flat when it gets wet. 

8. How often do you witness discrimination? Do you ever speak up about it when you do see it? Or would you only speak up if the discrimination was directed toward you or someone close to you? >> I don't often witness anything, to be honest, since I'm home so often. I don't really have significant experience with blatant discrimination, despite my myriad marginalities. <<< 

9. Do you think you would be able to pull off a crime perfectly, without being caught? What about other lies? For example, cheating on your partner without getting caught? Would you be able to get away with it? No. Not that I have any desire to try, but I know I would be too scared and anxious and make mistakes. Not to mention the guilt. Something would give myself away for sure. 

10. Are you the type to get embarrassed if your parent/parents acts/act your age? Do they do this often? Or do you think it's stupid to put an age on the way one can act? Pfft, my parents are awesome. My mom especially is a lot cooler than me. People love her.

11. Do you know anyone who has divorced and remarried the same person? What do you/would you think of someone who does that? No, not personally.  12. Do you say goodnight to anybody before you go to bed? If so, does it feel weird if you go to bed without saying it to them? My family and I say it to each other and yeah it does feel weird if for some reason one of us doesn’t. 

13. How do you react when you're scared? Do you scream, jump, cover your eyes, etc.? I’m really jumpy and skittish. If it involves a bug, I really freak out and it’s super embarrassing. 

14. Who is the best storyteller you know? What do you find best about their storytelling? Is there an interesting story of theirs you'd like to share? My grandpa was. He always told the best stories and he had a lot of ‘em. They could be quite long and go off on tangents at times, but they always came full circle. And he was really funny, too. 

15. When you check your e-mail account, how much of it do you delete without even looking at it? Do you have a separate account for junk like this? A lot of it, honestly. Some I can tell by the subject line if it’s something of interest to me like a particular sale. 

16. Do you strongly dislike (or even hate) any bands or musical artists? If so, what caused such a strong negative emotion towards them? No, I don’t have any strong negative emotions towards a band or artist. If there’s one I don’t like then I just don’t listen to them, that’s really it. 

17. What are you listening to? Is it something you would normally be found listening to, or just something you've started listening to recently? Yeah, I listen to a lot of ASMR.

18. Does/did your school bus stop directly in front of your house? If not, where does/did it stop? I never had to take the school bus, but no there isn’t one that stops in my neighborhood that I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure where to be honest. I did take the public bus in college sometimes, though. The bus stop isn’t right by my house, but it only took me a few minutes to get to it. 

19. Do you parents have any collections? If so, what do you think of those collections? My dad has his various sports memorabilia and shoes, my mom has a lot of stuff for her favorite football team, shoes, books, Baby Yoda stuff, Disney Loungefly backpacks, and some other knickknacks. 

20. Are there any movies you watch when you're feeling anxious or depressed? If so, what are they, and what about them calms you down and/or lifts your spirits? No, I don’t tend to turn to movies for that. I turn to ASMR and/or another one of my distractions. If I do decide to turn to TV, I just put on something mindless that I’ve already seen that doesn’t require much thinking or paying attention. 

21. Would you rather see a band/artist perform in a small club, an arena, or at an outdoor venue? Why? Which one have you been to most recently? I enjoy arenas, personally. From my experience, I’ve never had to be hugged up on people or feel claustrophobic in an arena. Since I’m in a wheelchair, I’ve always just sat up in the nosebleeds and there’s plenty of space and not a lot of people. I can also see better. At a small club or outdoor venue, people would be standing and I wouldn’t be able to see at all.

22. Do you have a favourite role of Johnny Depp's? If you don't like him, what is your favourite role of an actor you like? I’ve always thought he was a very talented actor. My favorite role of his is Sweeney Todd.

23. If you were in a competition to win your dream prize, and you were allowed to decide what the competition would be (trivia about your favourite band, a foot race, singing, etc.) , what would you choose and why? Uhhh. I feel like I’d still end up losing somehow even if I got to choose the competition, ha. I don’t feel like I’m super knowledgeable or especially great at anything.

24. What is your least favourite thing about the English language? Are there any other languages you prefer besides English? Just how we have words like “read” that can be pronounced differently depending on how its used and silent letters. Like why are silent letters a thing? 

25. Would you be upset if a long-term partner confessed that they had committed a serious crime before you met? How do you think it would affect your relationship? What type of crime are we talking about and did they already serve their time or whatever was required? That would be a very difficult situation to be in to say the least. If we were in a long-term relationship I couldn’t just drop them and end things like that unless they told me they committed a murder. That would cause a whirlwind of emotions and confusion and shock and gah it would be horrible. It’d be difficult because I would know a different side of them and still have feelings for them, but I wouldn’t able to get past something that serious. 

26. Who, out of the people you know, do you think has the most messed-up relationship? Have you ever spoken up about it or do you stay out of it? Have you ever been in a relationship that was really messed-up? No one I know currently. 

27. What emotion have you been feeling most commonly lately? Do you like feeling this way? If not, have you done anything to try to change it? Depressed, moody, irritable, frustrated... that’s been ongoing for years now, though. I hate feeling that way, yet I haven’t done anything to try and change it. :/

28. Why did you/your parents choose to live where you do now? Would you move right now if you were able to? Why/why not? If so, where would you like to go? My mom was born here and majority of her family lived and still live here. I’m not quite sure when my dad and his parents came here. My paternal grandparents lived here for awhile until they moved out of state about 20 years ago. My mom was very close to her parents, but they’ve both passed away 10 and 15 years ago now. But yeah, being near family and already living here was the main reason. There was other stuff, too, like not wanting me or my brother to have to change schools and then we both went to the local UC, which is a really great college. And stuff like my parents’ jobs being here and not being financially able to move. So yeah, it’s a lot of different factors, but we’ve honestly been wanting to move for a very long time. We don’t care much for the city itself. I don’t feel tied here despite living all my 31 years here so far. The last year we’ve gotten a little more serious about it and have taken some necessary steps. My brother is graduating soon and I think after that we’re going to finally do it.

29. Is there a song that you think, lyrically, describes your childhood? Have you ever had a song describe your life perfectly, each and every word? How does it make you feel when you come across songs like this? Not my childhood, but yeah there’s several songs that I just really relate to where the lyrics seem to speak right to me. I like using relatable quotes and lyrics to try and express myself or describe how I’m feeling because they do it much better than I can.

30. Do you tend to befriend people who are of a similar, smaller or larger weight than yourself? (Even if it doesn't matter to you, you can admit it.) Has it always been this way? That has honestly never been a factor when befriending someone... like, that doesn’t matter at all. I don’t know why it would. I’m concerned about a person’s personality, who they are as a person, or whether or not we connect.

31. List a random fact (each) you know about 5 of your favourite survey takers: Lane (@inchoate-surveys) has a dog that looks so much like mine named Finn. Elisabeth @bionic-beth) is a teacher in New York. Robyn (@ssurveys) likes Paramore. Lina ( @iaintgotcontrol) is from Sweden, which I think is really cool. I’d love to visit someday. Lauren (@brilliant-bloss0ms) is into interior design. 

32. Whenever you have a question about something random, are you more likely to ask Google or someone you know? Does it depend on what exactly you want to know? Do you do both? I just Google it real quick.

33. How old were you when you went on your first date? Was there anything you would change about the experience? How do you think it shaped your expectations? If you've never been on a date, what did you like best about the last meal you ate? I was in my early 20s. We went to dinner and a movie, which was how I thought a first date should go. It was nice.

34. If you had to serve a meal to an ambassador from another country that symbolized your country's culture, what would you choose? Do you think s/he would love it as much as you do? Hamburgers, fries, and apple pie. ha. That’s not my favorite meal, though. If I served my favorite food it would be boneless garic parm and lemon pepper wings, ha.

35. If someone broke into your house and robbed you, what could they take that would piss you off or upset you the most? To what lengths would you go to get it back? Has something like this already happened to you before? My laptop, definitely. There wouldn’t be a whole lot I could do to get it back. I mean yeah, I could file a report but I wouldn’t expect to ever get it back. No, thankfully nothing like that has happened before.

36. Do you enjoy watching the special features found on most DVDs? What do you usually enjoy more: the deleted scenes, the bloopers, the audio commentary, or the behind-the-scenes footage? I very rarely ever watched those, but if I did I checked out the bloopers and maybe the behind-the-scenes footage.

37. Do you care at all about the Stanley Cup playoffs? If so, which team are you rooting for, and is it different than the team you're sure will make it to the cup? If you don't care, is your family the type to get right into a sport, or is the topic of sports rarely spoken about in your house? My dad loves sports and my mom has her favorite football that she gets really into, but I have no interest in sports at all.

38. Have you ever had your own flower garden? If so, what are/were your favourite flowers to plant? No.

39. Would you ever date someone who is exactly like your youngest (or oldest, if you're the youngest) sibling? Why/why not? Some of the same qualities, yeah, such as intelligent, hardworking, ambitious, responsible, funny. 

40. Was there something you were afraid of as a child that just seems silly to you now? I was terrified of Ghost Face as a kid and now Scream is one of my favorite scary movies.

[violentviolette]

How does one get people to stop being so guilt-trippy when I say no or put uo boundaries? Coming out of DBT I realised how fucked up "normal" people are at communicating, introspection and their immaturity abt their emotions. I don't wanna be hurtful so how can I make "stop pushing responsibility for ur emotions onto me" and "why give me a choice in the 1st place if you can only accept 1 answer " sound polite or nice?

anon honestly this is such the mood. after doing dbt all I could notice was how many people around me were fucking shit at communicating and having boundaries and accepting no

what I usually do is confront it directly with as neutral language as I can, tho everyone does still call me "direct" in a way that says they dont like it but I'm not actually being mean so they can't complain about it lol but honestly fuck their feelings, be direct.

so like the choice one right? that's a common one I feel like. i would confront that by being like "it feels like ur not really giving me a choice because ur looking for a specific outcome. I dont feel like I can really pick the option I want because ull be upset/dissapointed with me" or if u pick the option u want and they try to punish u for it, confront that too. so like if u say u wanna stay home and they get mad at u u can say "we agreed that this was an okay option for me to take and I really need u to respect that and not treat me differently/badly" or even name specific behaviors like "i want to chose x option but i am worried if i do u will be upset and yell/give me the silent treatment/slam things/ect."

I find a lot of people are not aware of their reactions and so calliny attention to their specific behavior so they have to actively think about it and consider it helps a lot. tho ppl will usually get defensive at first if u know them well it can be easy to pad that with reassurances and phrase things in ways u know they'll be agreeable to.

I also find for particularly defensive people lots of reassurance helps when ur bringing it up but that's up to u and ur empathy levels on how much work u put into that part lol

[trulycertain]

I’ve just finished Hearts of Stone for the first time (I got the expansion packs last birthday, thanks Ma), and cor, I’m... still a bit dazed. That was one of the best experiences I’ve had with a game for a long time. Heck, in some games that would’ve been the main campaign. It truly feels like a work of passion.

The negative, to get it over with

I had some issues with the portrayal of the Ofieri. The people we see are monsters, mages, mystics and enemy guards. The first Ofieri person you meet is... a toad monster you kill. And then the next ones are your jailers. 

And you might say that Temeria and Redania are full of yokel stereotypes - I mean, the “How often should I beat my wife?” NPC line is a clear nod to that kinda thing - and plays on Slavic mythology, folk tales, and fairy tales, and Ofier is the nod to the Arabian Nights... but we don’t get many Ofieri characters, nor clear examinations of those tales. Instead we’re quietly directed back to Robin Hood and Beauty and the Beast homages (which I adore, but). And one of the first introductions you get to their pseudo-Arabic language (which doesn’t feel as researched as Sapkowksi’s cod-Welsh Elven, but I don’t know about Nilfgaard’s language) is a Redanian guy calling it “gargling.” *wince* After the interesting, often nuanced takes on pseudo-Slavic culture and the fantasy non-human racism, I found that a bit frustrating. 

And yet... In some ways, it feels like CDPR were aware of this. Because you don’t actually have to kill the rest of the Ofieri guards, and then the next people you meet from Ofier are scholars and thoroughly nice dudes. (And... merchants, which is another stereotype on its own, but maybe I’m reading too much into that and reading British biases into it.) And gosh, I find it interesting what little we see of Ofieri scholarship and spirituality, and runeworking/smithing as prayer. It’s like a mix of Islamic Golden Age mathematics - but with languages instead - and humanism, maybe with some Pagan influences. It’s really, really beautiful, and it’s clearly had some thought put into it. Also interesting is the interlinked duchies/city-states sort of system that the merchant nods at, which I’d love to know more about.

OK, so... maybe this is easy for me to say as an English lass who looks like a flour explosion in a snowstorm, but it feels wonky (to say the least), but... not ill-intentioned. If anything, the portrayal of the Ofieri is rather less biting than portrayals of other countries, though those portrayals also feel less.. loaded. I’m not sure what to think, to be honest. I had some issues with how strongly the pack tries to force you into romance with Shani and makes it a bit all-or-nothing. I wish I’d been able to buy her a drink or give her a nice rowan garland (actually, seriously, I need to draw her in that flower crown, it’s lovely and she was adorable) even as a friend, as a way to say goodbye, rather than just... buggering off and leaving her there sad, and failing a side quest to boot. Framing the romance that way made it very clear that “oi, you’ve made the wrong choice,” even if you had your reasons. And when you talk to her later, it’ll still treat things like you romanced her.

The Order of the Flaming Rose didn’t do much. Yay, fancy bandits. But... thanks for the armour, guys? Made a fair bit of cash off that, nice of you.

The positive (my favourite bit)

Shani! I haven’t played the first game or the second (I’ll... get there), so I hadn’t met her before. She’s wonderful. And much as I love Yen - and stayed faithful to her, though I was sitting there thinking, “Would books Geralt do this? I’m really not sure” - I liked how in contrast, Shani often gets into the thick of it with you. I also love a) doctor characters b) characters who put their calling above all else and have such strong purpose. She’s kind and wry and I was seriously tempted to romance her. I also like her admitting that it was a “make the most of the time we have” thing, and that it probably wouldn’t work long-term. I appreciate that honesty and again, that sense of purpose. Much like Triss, she’s not dropping everything for Geralt, who has his own crazy timetable and travels to deal with. That straightforwardness is lovely. 

And also... god, I really like her friendship with Geralt. Even if you don’t romance her, they’re so comfortable with each other, and it’s so clear how happy he is to see her. They relax around each other and she knows how to gently poke fun. Seriously, I can see why people liked her and wanted her back.

“And now I have nowt.” Bloody hell, is Olgierd von Everec actually written with Northern dialect as well as voiced with the accent? Is the dashing rogue... Yorkshire-accented? God, they must be Polish, Northerners almost never get to be upper-class or smooth in British media. (Even Sean Bean had to go posher for GoldenEye.) Nice to hear the language spoken properly.  I always admire the localisation when I’m playing Wild Hunt; it’s beautifully thought-out and detailed. And yes, Von Everec was an absolute jerk in a lot of ways even before the wish, but... a well-written, nuanced one. Also, considering some of the lasses we see in Skellige: sometime, I’d really like to have seen a female character along similar lines somewhere (one Geralt couldn’t bonk), though I know that won’t happen. (No more Geralt games. ;_; )

“A man must have some moments of madness from time to time. Tells him he’s alive.”

Iris! Goodness, I hesitated for nearly ten minutes over That Decision, and I still feel sad for her typing this post up on my couch, having finished the expansion an hour ago. I think it adds even more that I’d purchased “Starry Night Over the Pontar River” by Van Rogh (I can’t believe they even did that). I played Geralt as genuinely loving her paintings. (And seriously, speaking of assets, that Iris/Olgierd marriage portrait is lovely.) She was as complicated as her husband, though she got less screentime - and some part of me would have gladly trapped Olgierd in a painting and brought her back into the world, but I also know that necromancy in The Witcher doesn’t work like that. A very romantic-fairy-tale take on the tortured artist trope.

I even found Vlodimir interesting. I was glad that Shani called him on what was basically fancy sexual harassment and told him to keep his hands to himself, and he was clearly a real shite in life, but... yeah, even I felt rather sad for him after the dressing-down he got from O’Dimm. And to be honest, he does have some bloody hilarious lines. This series excels in “likeable bastard” characters.

I get shades! And I’ve been going round with the Mastercrafted Wolven Armour and those, doing the look I fondly call Douchebag Geralt, ever since. CDPR’s nerdery. It wasn’t particularly immersion-breaking, and it made me cackle. “Merchant With A Pearl Earring”? “Witness me”? “Geralt: The Professional”? “The Professor’s Glasses”?

All the optional NPC dialogue. You can doom yourself by not researching enough. You can never find the runewright. You can miss half the wedding party dialogue. You can miss things like the Van Rogh painting and the sad, rather interesting story of Vesemir and his lover (and the Viper Armour!). The game always rewards you for being interested in the story, and thorough (you are playing a detective, after all), but because it was smaller, they’ve also made HoS so dense and all that’s here in abundance.

“Delight in the world and all its glorious creations.”

The furious pace. It’s a rollicking, rip-roaring adventure. A frog prince! An old friend/lover! A political plot! A storm! A deal with... something not-good that may or may not be The Devil! A shirtless tied-up action-movie fight with five dudes! Dueling a reluctant immortal! Characters from distant shores! A horse race through the streets of a village! A Guy Ritchie-esque heist movie nod to Robin Hood! Getting possessed by a ghost and sitcom/rom-com hijinks while fishing for boots, herding swine, and retrieving fire-eaters! Haunted mansions and tortured artists and interesting grief and depression metaphors! A Seventh Seal-esque game of wits with something very old and very unkind! O’Dimm promised a big adventure... he wasn’t wrong. And it probably sounds like they’re throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks... and yet, it all makes sense and ties in beautifully. It’s really well-written and thought-out, and balances a touching story with CDPR clearly wanting to give you your money’s worth and take you on the best journey they can.

Gaunter O’Dimm. The one thing I did think was that they’d be more vague about who/what he actually was. I was surprised at the more overt things like the crossroads deal, and the Oxenfurt scholar. But I immensely enjoyed his character, and that trippy finale was fantastic, even if I spent everything after the first second or so muttering, “It’s a REFLECTION, oh my god Gaunter you have commitment to your theme, please let there be a mirror in the house.” (And it’s also kind of perfect that one of the main spectres who attacks you in his realm is a Hym. Punishment for misdeeds, the guilty conscience... I’m seeing a theme here.)

Treasure hunts and new armour.

“Like your new gear, Roach?” We got to see a bit more of Geralt's fondness for this Roach (not sure what number she is, to be honest) and that he treats her well.

Lots of quiet but intense, lovely Geralt moments. The kindness with which he treats Shani, and his quiet, wry joking around with her in comparison to Vlodimir’s crudeness; the fondness and understated grief with which he speaks of Vesemir, and finally getting to hear a bit more of what he thinks about his mentor; the guilt he feels over being pulled here, there and everywhere on adventures and how many people he’s left behind; more stuff on “Witchers are heartless bastards because mutations” and how untrue that actually is; his steadfastness about trying to avoid bloodshed in the heist; how he doesn’t like to see Vlodimir tortured, even if he is... Vlodimir. Course, I play Geralt as a (pragmatic, blunt) goody-two-shoes, so it might be different if you play him bloodthirstier, but there were some lovely not-blank-slate-protag moments. CDPR get that the characters are why people come to the games; I adore playing a game where “go to a wedding reception” and “have a snowball fight with your daughter to cheer her up” are missions.

I’d be interested to see anyone’s takes on this pack, because I was so busy trying to avoid spoilers when it came out (and I think I might have been knee-deep in Fallout 4? Not sure) that I missed most of the stuff on it. But it was full of fascinating characters, wonderful performances, some really sad, achey complex themes, and pulpy adventure. I spent... too many moments trying not to cackle in joy. And much as I tried to be a completionist and do base-game sidequests remaining after the main story and drag it out over several days, I spent enough time on this expansion that Geralt’s beard grew back and my backside went numb. So. Even with its imperfections, probably one of my favourite gaming experiences of all time. So.

...God, and there’s another, slightly bigger expansion to go. I’m not sure I’ll survive.

[fandensflytrap]

100 days of headcanons

Family

His mother was a decent woman named Gunnhild. Very strict, knew how to speak her mind when it came to it. And she for sure knew not to be stepped over and would very loudly state it when she felt that was the case.  

She had a very one-tracked ‘’MY WAY, OR THE HIGHWAY’’ mentality. Unless you knew how to scream at her right, she’d walk all over you and think nothing of it. She has a rather difficult time understanding people unless they speak her language. 

Her voice had a rather strict edge to it, making her sound angry and annoyed even if she was happy. Few outsides of the family ever knew what to do with her and would find her a bit intimidating because of this. And unfortunately, a little guilt trippy too.

Despite of some chronic pain, she worked as hard as a warrior around the farm. Always thought up new projects, new ways to improve the area for better working conditions, new ways to help her in the house. She always had something to do and said work was never done. And still, she found time for her to invite over some friends and their kids over for some gossip.

-

His father, Sture, was the favorite parent (or so Deliam claimed, though Deliam was more of a mama’s boy than anything.) He was more of a passive parent. And Liam never really… learned much about him growing up? He was there, his father loved cracking jokes and to have fun with him and his siblings. A very hardworking guy. But Liam never really learned much about him despite living in the same house. He was just a really silent guy and would often default to two or three topics with his kids.

Liam knew next to everything about his mother, but next to nothing about his father. This was a sad realization for him as Deliam grew older.

His father might have been autistic. He also had ‘’tunnel vision’’ so his eyes gradually grew worse over the years as they went.

His big sister was 6 years old when Liam was born. The two never truly got along, not because of anything bad, per se… The two just couldn’t seem to relate to one and other. The age gap was very noticeable as time went, and Deliam was generally just a bit too rough and boyish than she could handle from their little sibling.

The two would talk, and Liam would be an annoying little sibling and try and make her pay attention to him, but it never really worked out as planned.

She married at age 18, when he was 12.

They saw each other once in a while after, but Liam and her never really clicked. It got better when Deliam became an older teen.

He did envy her a little growing up, though. He wanted to be as pretty, and be able to do a lot of the things she did ‘’right’’.

-

Little brother nr 1. Deliam was 8 when he was born. 

They were pretty good friends and Liam LOVED having a little brother he could be a bit rough and tough with. He was the big sibling now! Not the little one. He could ‘’protect’’ them and be viewed as the cool one now! 

He was a bit of a troublemaker and Liam was a freaking enabler. The two despite the age difference loved to hang and do pranks together. Though it was more Liam who rigged the pranks than anything.

-

Little brother nr 2. Liam was 10 when he was born. Liam would only get to know him for about 8 years before he decided to leave the farm like a fool.

-

Little brother nr 3. This guy was a slow one. He was no more than 4 when Liam was 18. And the one family member he never really got to know because he fled from home.

[lesbian-janai]

I in no way mean in this in any sort of mean spirited way, people are allowed to like and dislike whatever characters they want but I’m just genuinely curious... why don’t you like tony stark? And what makes him a bad parental figure to peter? I agree with you on the aunt May thing, it kinda gets on my nerves when people are like peter is TONYS SON like he doesn’t already have parental figures. But I still think he’s a good character and just wondering about your opinion I guess.

Alright this is gonna be long and it’s full of negativity so if anyone sees this and you don’t want to see negativity about t*ny st*rk please scroll past this (i will also be censoring his name to keep it out of the search) I also want to make it clear that this is all my own opinion. If you like t*ny, that’s great! I’m not gonna try to change your views or anything. I’m just going to explain why I personally don’t like him. Also, if anyone sees this and gets mad or defensive or anything, please don’t try to start an argument. This is all just my personal opinion. (p.s. Some endgame spoilers ahead)

Now that that’s all out of the way, I’m going to split this into two parts: why I don’t like t*ny in general (i’m basically going to go through each movie and pointing out things he’s done that make me dislike him) and why I think he’s a bad father figure/mentor to peter. I’m gonna be using a lot of strong language, since that’s just how i am when i talk about things i feel strongly about, so just be warned for some cussing and yelling and stuff like that

Why i don’t like T*ny in general. First of all, I really like t*ny in the first avengers movie and in the i.m. trilogy. It’s only from a.o.u. And beyond that i really dislike him. A big factor that goes into this is the fact that he gets too much attention and seems to take the spotlight from other characters in every movie he’s in. I know people love ir*n m*n, but there’s a point when you start to get tired of the same character taking the front of a movie that’s supposed to be shared between multiple characters. He had 3 whole movies to set up his character and go through several arcs, yet he still gets a huge part in every avengers movie while other characters like nat and clint are shoved to the side. I wouldn’t mind him having large roles in the avengers movies as much if the character screen times split evenly amongst the main avengers, but the avengers movies never really felt like avengers movies. They always felt like “t*ny st*rk and some other superheroes you might know” movies. even outside of the avengers movies he gets more screen time than necessary. Ca:cw for instance. He got half the screen time, and had more speaking lines than the title character. Ca:cw was supposed to be a captain america movie, not an avengers movie, and because t*ny was shoved in that movie, steve had a less satisfying character arc in his final movie. This is all marvel’s fault, of course, i mean it’s not like t*ny can control what movies he’s in, but when you always see the same character be the forefront of every single movie while all of your favorite characters get shoved to the side, you start to dislike that character.

Now on to the movies! I disliked him in a.o.u., but i’m not gonna talk about a.o.u. all that much since i honestly don’t remember that much from it and a lot of things i disliked about him in that movie are brought up in other movies. I’m gonna start off with civil war, since that’s the movie that pretty much solidified my dislike for him. So now i’m gonna point out some things in civil war that t*ny did that made me dislike him. I’m not going to go through every little thing he did, just the major ones.

1. That whole guilt-trippy speech he did to get the other avengers to sign the accords. He used a kid that died during the ultron attack to guilt the other avengers when it was all t*ny’s fault in the first place, he’s the one who built ultron, therefore he’s the one responsible for any death or damage that ultron caused, not any of the other avengers who were just trying to clean up t*ny’s mess. He also acted like none of the other avengers cared about the people who died in sokovia, including wanda, who freaking lived there and probably knew a lot of people who died there, not to mention her own fucking twin brother died in ultron’s attack and you have the gall to act like she doesn’t care???? what the fuck t*ny!!!!! Guilt tripping on its own is a horrible thing to do, but to use your own mistake as a tool to guilt trip other people when they were just trying to clean up your mess is just disgusting.

2. Shooting sam point blank in the chest after he tried to save rhodey. Every time i think about this scene it makes my blood boil. Sam was chasing after rhodey, and then t*ny told vision to shoot sam, but sam ducked out of the way, causing vision to hit rhodey instead and destroy his suit. Rhodey started falling to the ground, and sam dived down to try in rescue him, but he didn’t reach rhodey in time. T*ny goes over to rhodey, who is unconscious and injured, and sam comes up next to him and says, “i’m sorry.” you wanna know what t*ny does next? He fucking shoots sam in the chest!!!!! So hard that he freaking flips back and passes out!!!!! The man just tried to save your best friend and you fucking shoot him????? What the fuck!!!!! Sam deserved so much better than that. It’s just… such a horrible thing to do. To just shoot someone in the chest after they tried to save your friend. What the fuck.

3. trying to kill bucky. I do understand that he was extremely upset after finding out that the winter soldier killed his parents and he was kind of mentally unstable, but bucky was a brainwashed prisoner of war who had no choice in what he did. t*ny knew that bucky was brainwashed and had no choice of his own, but he still tried to kill him!!! Like… i understand why t*ny tried to kill him, but that doesn’t make it any less okay to try to kill an innocent man. this is more me having a problem with the writing than with t*ny himself, since i truly don’t believe t*ny would try to murder an innocent man after finding out he was brainwashed into killing his parents. t*ny’s a smart guy and he should’ve been able to realize that bucky wasn’t the one who killed his parents, hydra was, but regardless, the writers made him try to kill bucky and i don’t like it.

I think that’s all with civil war, now onto infinity war! (i’m skipping sm:hc because i’ll talk about that movie in the why t*ny is a bad mentor segment): there’s much less I have a problem with here since most of my dislike for t*ny comes from civil war. This movie didn’t really make me dislike him any more than i already did, but it didn’t make me like him either. The main problem i have here is how he refused to call steve after bruce told him about thanos. Like, the world is ending dude. There’s a man coming to destroy the world and you need all the help you can get, yet you refuse to call steve because of a personal problem? Like… i do understand his hesitance, but if you can’t call steve maybe give the phone to bruce or dr. strange so they can call steve instead. Stopping thanos is more important than your personal problems with steve.

Alright now on to endgame (spoilers ahead beware) this is sort of the same with infinity war, in which it didn’t make me dislike t*ny any more than i already did but it didn’t make me like him either. I also have more of a problem with the writing than anything that t*ny does himself. (except for the part where he’s like “you weren’t there when i needed you, steve!” like… you’re the one who refused to call him… it’s not steve’s fault you didn’t call him…) The main thing i have a problem with is the fact that he’s the one who got to kill thanos instead of nebula. Nebula has been through hell because of thanos, he abused her, tortured her, tore her apart, nobody deserved to kill thanos more than her. And yet… because t*ny is so much more important than anyone else apparently, he’s the one who killed thanos, taking away what could’ve been a great character moment for nebula and giving it to t*ny who really didn’t need it. I would’ve been fine if t*ny still got to be the one who stopped thanos’ army and still got his sacrificing moment if nebula still got to kill thanos instead of him, but nope! That’s not what happened! Also the fact that t*ny got this big emotional funeral while nat got nothing, you can just tell that marvel cares more about their male superheroes than their female superheroes. Again, i don’t really have a problem with anything t*ny himself did (except for what he said to steve at the beginning) just the fact that marvel cares more about him than any other superhero makes me really dislike him. (also, kind of unrelated but it makes me really uncomfortable when people call t*ny nebula’s dad/nebula t*ny’s daughter. It just seems infantilizing to me. She’s a grown ass woman, she doesn’t need a dad.)

So basically the reason why i dislike t*ny st*rk in general is because marvel focuses way too much on him to the point where i’m just tired of seeing him. They give him the spotlight even though they could shine some light on some underdeveloped characters instead. They care more about him than any of the other superheroes, especially the female superheroes. Then there’s the way he acts in civil war, the way he tries to guilt trip the avengers using his own mistake, the way he shoots sam in the chest for no reason, the way he tries to kill bucky, an innocent man who was brainwashed into doing terrible things and t*ny knew that. And the characterization that i dislike about him in cw makes its way into other movies, furthering my dislike of him. Basically just… erase civil war t*ny out of existence and maybe i’ll like him. In fact, erase all of civil war out of existence. Give steve the cap 3 movie he deserves.

Alright, now onto why i think t*ny is a horrible mentor/father figure! Let’s start with civil war. First of all, it’s kind of questionable how t*ny decided to bring a 14/15 year old to germany, illegally, and have him fight, illegally, against a bunch of superpowered people who are way more skilled and better trained than he is. There’s also the fact that he basically manipulated him (steve: you don’t know what’s going on. Peter: st*rk told me you’d say that. Steve: what else did he tell you? Peter: that you’re wrong, and you think you’re right. And that makes you dangerous. That’s manipulation, folks!) so basically, t*ny manipulated a 14/15 year old into coming to germany and having him fight in a battle he knew nothing about, all of which was illegal. (the reason i’m so adamant about the illegal part is because in ca:cw t*ny was all about following the law, which makes him seem like a hypocrite when he breaks the law)There’s also the fact that he made fun of peter’s home-made suit, which is a pretty dick move (more on that later). This is not a good start to their relationship

Now onto sm:hc, which doesn’t do t*ny any favors. So basically, t*ny has been ignoring peter for weeks, more dick moves, and when peter warns him about possible danger, t*ny brushes him off. When peter goes out to deal with the problem himself, because the responsible adult he contacted brushed him off, t*ny gets mad at him and says “who do you think sent the fbi?” as if peter had any way of knowing he was gonna take care of it. t*ny then takes away the suit he made for him, which brings me back to my point in ca:cw about how shitty it was of him to make fun of peter’s suit. (peter: i’m spiderman. t*ny: not in that onesie you’re not. Peter, later: i’m nothing without this suit! t*ny: if you’re nothing without this suit then you don’t deserve to wear it) you can’t make fun of a kid’s homemade suit and think it amounts to anything. t*ny made peter dependent on the suit because t*ny himself said “you’re not spiderman with the suit you made yourself” and then you take it away and act like he doesn’t deserve the suit???? What the fuck!!!! There’s also the creepy way he talks about aunt may. Joking or not, you should ever say inappropriate things about a kid’s aunt right in front of him.

So basically the reason i think t*ny is a bad mentor/father figure towards peter is because he manipulated him into fighting for him illegally, ignores peter, brushes off his concerns, made fun of his homemade suit, and then took the “better” suit away from him after one mistake, which happened due to the aforementioned ignoring and brushing off of his concerns. I do admit their relationship gets better in a:iw and a:e, but it’s not enough to make me change my mind about him being a bad mentor/father figure

Alright i think that’s it. I didn’t mention everything, juse the major things. Anyways, that’s why i don’t like t*ny st*rk and why i think he’s a bad mentor/father figure towards peter. Thank you for asking! I know this is long, but i hope you can read it or at least get the gist of it.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Time for S20E15 “Tate Gallery”~

(I’m really getting to episodes that I hardly remember at all now lmao. The only Gaskell eps I’ve really rewatched often are Johnrik-heavy ones.)

Edit 1: Ah, there’s my king Henrik! Too bad he’s literally barely in this episode lmao. Plenty of John though.

Edit 2: I love John’s coat.

Edit 3: I ADORE Roxanna’s blouse. I miss this woman and her very queer fashion sense.

Edit 4: Everybody’s outfits are great in this episode, Sacha’s wearing a fantastic shirt.

Edit 5: John stimming! I really want to know if Paul McGann deliberately based his body language as John off Guy’s as Henrik or not.

Edit 6: In hindsight it’s disturbing to look back at early John episodes. You see all these mannerisms and behaviours that at the time would’ve just signified “oh, he’s mentally ill”. But you watch them again and suddenly you realise that we were supposed to be suspicious of him because of these traits. Yikes.

Edit 7: Oh yeah this is the one with the intersex patient isn’t it?

In other news, I love a good Sacha and Ric scene.

Edit 8: I love the vaguely goth aesthetic John’s patient’s daughter has going on.

Edit 9: Ric on his project idea: I’m not using stem cells. John, probably: :((

Edit 10: 2018 feels like it was the last year Holby even remotely cared about medical storylines.

Edit 11: Love a good ‘ethical dilemma regarding a patient’ ep.

Edit 12: SFSFSFSFSF. Abigail @ John: “Spare me the ‘enigma wrapped in a mystery’ schtick.”

Also, Serena saying “I am all out of ideas here!!”... you could pass this off as actual footage of the Holby writers in the show’s final years XD

Edit 13: I swear Paul McGann was working overtime to make John an actually complex character instead of the “evil sociopathic crazy person” stereotype the writing had him as.

Edit 14: John playing classical music in theatre. Henrik energy.

Edit 15: I want to pay more attention to Ric’s subplot in this episode, but my mind kind of zones out when I see Serena, and most of his scenes in this episode are with her.

Edit 16: “I am not the enemy.” Sorry, Abi, but both the writers and the fandom viewed the mere fact of someone other than Henrik in the CEO chair to be a crime, so. :(

Edit 17: John thanking the patient for having faith in him and Rox is weirdly sweet.

Him being guilt-trippy and manipulative to Rox, not so great. Honestly I am convinced Henrik learned to manipulate people from John. I don’t know if that was the writers’ intent but it explains a lot to me. Like I do think a lot of his behaviour with Sahira was re-enactment of his own trauma (the whole ‘you’re my super special protege’ thing especially) but I also think some of the techniques he used on her were learned from John (there’s one ep where he says to her “in theatre, there’s no outside world, there’s just theatre”. VERY reminiscent of John’s “nothing but the work”).

Edit 18: Aw, this little scene with Ric and his patient :’)

Edit 19: John with his hands literally behind his back. Clever.

Edit 20: John and Rox wandering around in the basement. Lmao.

Edit 21: And now chilling out in John’s lab of mysteries.

Edit 22: I love Frieda.

Edit 23: Oh hey, the intersex patient’s also nonbinary. Anyone know if they were played by a nonbinary actor or not?

Edit 24: John and Ric sharing a scene feels really weird--

Did John just say he has a colleague in Leeds?! Lmfao.

[odogaronfang]

Could you share some of your headcanons for shadow?

!yes! i can! all these shadow asks, yall are killing me, letting me talk about my trash boy so much, you need to stop, (keep doing it)

i’ll shove this under a readmore because it ended at a whopping 1700 words, you guys are really indulging me

-shadow smiles a lot. don’t mistake it for happiness, or friendliness, or really anything benevolent. at least not at first. the dark world is very different in their customs and etiquettes, models them more so after… not animals, but natural instinct, as it were. so smiling, where shadow comes from, makes a statement: i’m stronger than you, i am in a place to taunt you without fearing for myself, i am challenging you to challenge me. things of that nature. shadow knows that with his magic he is far more powerful than the majority of hylians, save for zelda and perhaps the links. so in a post-manga situation where he has his magic still, he is CONSTANTLY grinning at people. he knows he has the upper hand, always. he has to be watched carefully, in the event that someone irritates him. on the flip side, though, if it’s a post-manga situation in which he’s without his magic, for whatever reason- too weak to use it, no source in Hyrule, lost the ability when he was revived- he’s very solemn. magic was his entire fighting style, in the dark world and hyrule; if he doesn’t have that, he knows he’s in no place to go around offering challenges. the way he sees it he may as well tape a ‘KILL ME’ sign to his forehead.

-expanding on this: he feels very intimidated in hyrule at first, especially if he’s been reincarnated without his powers. he doesn’t understand the customs of hylians, doesn’t know just how different they are from the dark world’s. so imagine walking outside, and everyone’s threatening you. everywhere you look there’s someone inviting you to die. that’s what he sees, before he knows the connotation hylians have assigned smiling; everyone’s threatening him, and everyone’s MOCKING him. and he hates to be mocked, as we all know.

-shadow can dish it but he can’t take it. it’s just a simple truth. physically, of course, is one thing- he can take a beating just fine. it’s a survival skill, in the dark world. trading insults is very, very different. he’ll go around on his perceived authority taunting people, joking at their expense (and meaning every harsh word of it), but hylia forbid anyone do it back. this is where he and vio run into a LOT of conflict. vio is very sassy. shadow wants to remark on him, or the other links, or zelda? vio’s got one ready for him, and he refuses to take any shit. so of course shadow gets pissy, and would very much love to fight, except that if he wants to stay alive and in hyrule he’s going to have to learn that that behavior isn’t acceptable. (to some people’s surprise, red is also very good at keeping shadow in line, but the difference between vio and red is that shadow knows that if he gives red so much as a paper cut the entire continent of hyrule will call for his banishment immediately. red exploits that.)

-he’s very dramatic. that comes as a surprise to no one, i’m sure. but christ, can that kid put on an act. like, his gestures, his speech, his reactions, even the way he fights- it’s with a flourish, always, and very exaggerated. at first it’s extremely irritating; later, when he’s settled down a bit (a lot) more and really started to fit with the group, it’s very funny. watching him deal with enemies, or perhaps not enemies but hostile foreigners, is like watching a soap opera. if they need deceit, depending on the situation they choose from red, vio, or him- whatever’s most called for. it’s red if they need gentle (or guilt-trippy) persuasion, vio if they’re looking for very rational and levelheaded (and sometimes under-the-table) negotiations, and it’s shadow if they want a charade and a lot of blatant lies. he’s very good at convincing people of even the most ridiculous fabrications. he can act earnest and open with alarming sincerity.

-again, unsurprisingly, shadow is a trickster. april fools’ day is his favorite holiday. it’s his favorite thing ever, because it’s a socially acceptable day of being as awful as he’s legally allowed to be. and he can set up some really elaborate stuff. think rube-goldberg machines where every single step is a prank on someone. sometimes even the same person each time. his acting skills help a lot in pulling it off- the only problem is that no one trusts him one hundred percent. but he gets away with too much by blaming it on someone they won’t get as mad at.

-he can read people very well. body language is extremely important to understand in the dark world. he reads the room, he just doesn’t care. he’ll start things on purpose just to watch the fallout.

-in a situation where he’s allied with them during a time of war, he’s a reluctant shoe-in for tactical positions. him and vio, because vio has the practical knowledge and shadow has all sorts of BRUTAL applications. he kind of has to scale it back so he isn’t convicted of any war crimes (stupid idea, if you ask shadow, it’s WAR). but he can come up with some MEAN stuff. traps, fortifications, offensive strategies, especially TRAPS, he’s got a mental list a hundred miles long, and that’s probably just the stuff he’s used already.

-he makes for an excellent spy, for reasons mentioned above and because he’s very well-known, for better or for worse. you’re probably thinking, why would you want a spy that’s well known? two answers, one hinging upon the kind of au: first, if he still has his magic, he can just shapeshift. animorph into another person, and another, and another, so he just seems like a drifter. and even if he doesn’t have that, if nothing else, he can always fall back on his reputation: his origin was as a commander in the war against Hyrule. “hey,” he can say, “all this ‘playing nice’ shit is boring, lemme in so i can bomb something.” 99% of the time, boom, he’s in. that other 1%? he’ll just wreak havoc on the encampment and leave. it’s a win-win. espionage is his middle name and also his favorite word.

-pyrotechnics. like, say that one word and he’ll come running. or teleporting. it depends. it is another of his capital-favorite FAVORITE things. why else do you think he took up residence in the fire temple, of all places? he can list off every known natural way to bring about a fire or, better, an explosion, and he’s very talented at rigging bombs from very little. it’s a little unnerving, watching him working at an explosive. he’s positively gleeful.

-ranged weapons are nice and all, but he prefers the melee ones, the up-close-and-personal nasty little pieces of work. like, serrated daggers, scythes, bludgeons, maces, even a flail of some kind, anything that’s really gonna make a mess. he has a lot of fun with axes; battleaxes, poleaxes and halberds, that sort of thing. he likes to customize.

-dumb impulsive idiot that he is, he rarely ever wears armor or even uses a shield. with magic there’s little need for it, but even without it he really doesn’t care. “can’t hurt me if i kill them,” he says, and charges with reckless abandon, and almost always gets at least one (1) stab wound as a result. he has a high pain threshold and often doesn’t realize until afterwards, when he’s lightheaded and his tunic’s stuck to his side with dried blood. everyone scolds him mercilessly. he keeps doing it anyway.

-because of poor circulation and also just because he’s made differently, shadow is always cold to the touch. like, have him hold your lukewarm drink for a few minutes, by the time you come back for it it’ll be chilled, and probably also full of salt or something. please don’t trust shadow with anything you plan to ingest.

-on that note, don’t let shadow into any kitchen unless you’re trying to destroy it. like, no jokes, they once sent shadow to infiltrate and break down an encampment by posing as a chef. he came back two hours later grinning and covered in ash.

-funny enough, in stark contrast to the personality he puts out to everyone, he’s very clingy, in that he’s got some serious abandonment issues. he’s a stranger in a strange land where most if not all people despise him, he doesn’t understand their customs, he doesn’t know anyone, and he was left behind countless times where he came from. once he really gets comfortable with the links they become his anchor, almost; he can’t stand the thought of being ditched again, so he sticks VERY closely with them.

-he will eat ANYTHING. anything. he doesn’t care. at all. everyone’s sure his taste buds are dead.

-that isn’t true. his favorite things are spicy. like, fatally spicy, the stuff that’d probably kill just about anyone else. he challenges the wing chef to make the spiciest wings possible. the chef brings him a plate of raw ghost peppers. he eats them all and asks for more. the chef cries. it’s terrifying.

-because of how common underhanded tactics are in the dark world, its residents have developed to a large degree a resistance to poison. shadow is no exception; there are very few toxins that would actually be able to do more than put him in bed for a few hours. so he’s used as the poison-tester in pretty much every event under scrutiny. he’ll know if the poison’s there- he can taste it, he just won’t feel any of its effects; the worst he’s gotten was a stomachache, and that was from something that can kill ten full-grown men with a drop. and if he tastes it, honestly, he won’t even say anything. he’ll just laugh, watching the smug little face of whoever did it. because he knows. he can tell.

-he’s a morbid little fuck and usually ends up laughing in the face of death, like when he’s seriously injured. really, when it boils down to it, everyone is simultaneously worried for him and terrified of him.