#lot 4x08

[talas-first-lady]

Charlie Fashion Tournament: Finals!

In the end, we came down to what are pretty much objectively the correct answers for the top 2 Charlie outfits. Now let's see who wins!

From the iconic Charlie episode Legends of To-Meow-Meow (plus the end of Hell No, Dolly) comes the outfit Charlie wears across time and space as she breaks and unbreaks the timeline. Already fabulously accessorized, but would also look good with a cat backpack.

From a season later in Ship Broken, Charlie's rocking the best hair ever while trying to use the Loom of Fate, trying to flush the Loom of Fate, and standing as close to Zari as physically possible.

Either way, plaid wins!

Follow my new side blog for the mega Legends costume poll: @gidgets-fabricator

[ginaporterr]

I just wanna say... I had no idea who I was, not really, until I met you guys. I was, like, 20 different people before I got to East High, and now I’m just… I’m just Gina.

SOFIA WYLIE as GINA PORTER High School Musical: The Musical: The Series | 4x08 – Born to be Brave

[imminent-danger-came]

do you think the writers are being too slow revealing what happened with wukong and macaque? like should the full story been revealed in s4

That's very subjective!

For me personally, I'm totally fine with how it's played out. We get enough tidbits every season/developments with their dynamic that I'm pretty content. I also just think that when the time comes, how they choose to reveal that information to us (and especially to MK) will have optimal impact!

Idk, I just think it's going to work out you know

[comedymommywhore]

john saying “i don’t drink.” john being scared to leave his mother alone for a night. john shedding a tear for his hero father.

[ayankun]

They made a mistake!!! Robbie should be visible in front of Mac!!!

This is from the part of the episode where they're doing the same events for the second time but from the POV of the guys stuck in the other dimension. It has the color grading and the shadowy-ness that, until this shot, has meant that this time around we're experiencing things in the same dimension that Robbie etc are in. Meaning, Robbie should be in the shot, OR the color grading should be "normal" indicating that it's from Daisy POV (can't see Robbie).

Like, maybe this shot exists because it was meant for the first time around segment, where Daisy & the audience would not know that Robbie's also there (and invisible). Although other shots for this scene are reused and recolor graded for the new context, this isn't the shot used for this exchange the first time; that one's much tighter, just Daisy's hair and shoulder, and Mac's back -- the frame doesn't ask the question "what is he looking at" like this one does.

So I maybe they had to reverse the placement of the two shots in the edit, like, maybe they didn't like the impact or the narrative implications that this shot provided if used in the initial context. The one that is in that first scene is real tight on the actors and therefore is both devoid of extraneous detail and rich in character focus, maybe that's what they thought worked better there than this.

Or maybe they got their coverage mixed up, having to do everything twice. Maybe they lost track of the details and forgot that Robbie was supposed to be visible here. Or like, they shot a few options for the first scene and got wires crossed about which scene had which coverage in the can and didn't end up getting what they wanted for the second scene.

OR the idea WAS to show this from Daisy's POV, that she sees Mac just standing there alone, but cutting to just one shot in full saturated color and back to sepia would probs be SO jarring and also while they did show both dimensions' POVs/color gradings in a single scene previously, the transition was very obvious and telegraphed with a big dramatic camera move and it didn't revert back, rather than just suddenly cutting to a completely different expression of visual language for only one shot like what would have happened here.

I'll never know. :3

[imminent-danger-came]

As the resident "MK will hurt his family and almost destroy the world" truther, I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring!

I think the main thing I want to preface this with is that "valuing family" does NOT equal "never hurting your family". A main point of s4, especially 4x11 "A Lifetime of Mistakes", is that Wukong wanted to "protect the people he cared about", but by taking those actions to get stronger, he hurt them. The very choices he made to protect his loved ones did the exact opposite. In this case, Wukong's "devotion" to his friends isn't wholly good.

It's the same with MK.

I think this is especially highlighted in episodes like 3x03 and 4x08. In "Smartie Kid", MK exchanges his friends for a chance at power (his gold vision), in order to "save his friends". It's backwards logic, but it's the one MK utilizes (and it's pretty much beat for beat Wukong pre-jttw—the Risk MK took was calculated, but man is he bad at math). In "The Brotherhood", MK can't "risk hurting the people [he] cares about, the ones [he] has left" (an obvious parallel to 3x10 "Can't you see you're hurting the people who care about you the most?"), and so he leaves. Through leaving, MK hurts his friends in the exact way Wukong hurts him in 3x10:

This is, dare I say, a character trait consistent from s2, where in trying to protect his friends, MK only hurts them by not revealing the truth about the Lady Bone Demon. MK just "needed to be ready", in the same way that Wukong always needed to be ready, to be strong enough for what ever came his way. Episodes like 2x06 and 2x07 that show MK's obsession with power, and his foil to Wukong, stress this consistent character flaw.

Now, let me list my version of MK's flaws:

Impulsivity (We Agree!)

Selfishness/Insensitivity (Giving away Mei's sword (3x03), Refusing to listen to anyone in favor of his own wants/beliefs (2x03), all of 2x06)

Shortsightedness (Kind of tied to "forgetfulness"; Failing to return the trigram furnace (RoTSQ), Never asking questions like what Wukong's plan for the Samadhi Fire was or what SWK new about his origins, "I try not to think to hard" (3x14))

Idealization (Kinda Blind Devotion, but Idealization is a coping mechanism that: "reduces anxiety by protecting the person from emotional conflicts that might emerge in a relationship. Rather than deal with the fear that the other person isn't perfect or that the relationship might not work out, idealization allows them to keep the fantasy of perfection intact." [---] *cough cough* MK and Wukong *cough cough*)

Self-hatred (Bestie thought his friends just abandoned him in 2x07. MK. He was legitimately BETTER in s2 idk how we got here)

And also his character motivations:

Friends/Family

Being dependable/living up to the version of the "Hero" in his head

Strength

Returning to Normalcy

Sometimes other people/the world when he remembers lol

When it comes to strength for MK, MK's whole motivation to become stronger is for his friends. "Strength" is a means to an end, that end being his family (or you know, being dependable and getting to return to his "normal" life as well). So, I wouldn't necessarily say that he ever puts becoming more powerful above his friends, it's just that it's a way for MK to express his love that is ultimately harmful.

Now, I have a whole SWK V MK tag, and I do sincerely believe that those two will eventually fight, but I also think that MK will eventually doom the world.

I don't feel the need to repeat myself too much, so let me quote my own "SWK V MK" meta of sorts:

MK's feelings of abandonment in s2 were never fully resolved. Of course Wukong finally makes his return in 2x10 and is able to explain himself, but "having a good reason" doesn't undo the hurt you caused. Wukong doesn't apologize for his actions until the end of 3x14, which is an apology MK doesn't actually accept ("I can always get another bowl of noodles" ; "Sometimes I just play dumb to lighten the mood"). I'm not here to argue whether or not MK should or should not have accepted Wukong's apology, or if Wukong has "done enough" to make up for his mistakes (I don't think that's productive), but I am here to point out how the characters themselves feel about the situation. MK, as it stands, completely refuses to even acknowledge or engage with the ways Wukong has hurt him. It's not like he wants to have a problem with Wukong, but because he hasn't let himself heal it's going to become an issue later (and monkey form is all about repression). This is a consistent habit with MK, where he's hurt by someone, then sweeping that emotion under the rug because whatever hurt him was "justified". In 3x10 Mei yells at Wukong on MK's behalf, but we don't actually get to see much of MK's feelings on the situation, which he definitely has: his beloved mentor put his best friend at risk of destroying the world because he couldn't communicate. [...] Throughout s4, MK is haunted by LBD's words that doing the right thing leads to pain—that no matter what action he takes, he's inevitably going to hurt his friends and make everything worse. The curse capitalizes on these fears, functioning as a way to make MK's internal thoughts/beliefs external ("I know about you than you'll even admit, to yourself, or to others." ; "I have been dying to hear us say it, out loud"). And you know what the curse says? How he digs his teeth into MK? "We're just like Wukong, a fraud! A trickster! Destructive! Why would our legacy be any different?"

Here I dip my toes into MK's idealization of Wukong, his "good guy bad guy" mentality, his "But Monkey King is a hero, he wouldn't just-" but he would, MK. He has. MK, deep down, is afraid of being like Wukong—but he also refuses to truly acknowledge those flaws, and represses his feelings.

Two of the things that gets to me the most about the s4 special are:

The fact MK is forced into Monkey Form because his loyalty to Wukong is called into question by Azure. ("After all Sun Wukong has put you through, after how much he's let you down, you would still meet your fate trying to protect him? He doesn't deserve such loyalty, yet you insist on learning the hard way just as I did!")

Sandy's 2x08 parallel to 4x13: "Cause at the end of the day, helping my friends is more important than anything else in the world!" -> "We get it! I'd do anything to help my friends—but at the cost of the world?"

Why include the Sandy parallel at ALL if it wasn't going to lead to a choice the main gang has to make, a choice where it's their friend at the cost of the world? (Which, I could go on and on about lmk's exchange theme, the trade-offs and trolley problems). Why have so many direct MK and Wukong parallels, if it didn't mean that MK wasn't going to hurt his family "just like Wukong"? Why have Monkey form involve MK's repression? Why call MK a "harbinger of chaos", if that wasn't a role we were going to delve into?

I often think about MK's s4 arc in relation to 1x01, which boils down to this:

"Anytime I try to do anything, I just gunk everything up! Somethings wrong." (Hurt his friends because he rushed into battle without a grasp on his powers) -> "No mater what I do, it's going to lead to pain. It's just like the Lady Bone Demon said—it doesn't matter if I want to help or not, everything I do it just- it just makes things worse!" (Hurt his friends because he rushed into battle and that just lead to more problems)

To me, LMK's main theme is all about the fact that the people you love will hurt you, and you will hurt the people you love, and you still stand by each other anyways—something that would be beautifully encapsulated by MK hurting everyone around him with his own power, and those people coming together to save him anyways.

I don't have a way to wrap this up, but ready for s5! *sandy voice* I have some theories!

I saw a post talking about how there’s a deep mischaracterization of Mk in the fandom specifically about his monkey form and I’m here to dissect it. (WIth doodles!)

Tldr: Will Mk end up hurting his family in season 5 due to his new Monkey form? Most likely no, but it is possible that he indirectly hurts them by not understanding the limits of his power.

First things first let’s collect a list of attributes that we know Mk has from past seasons. This will serve as a spine or checklist to see if certain actions are possible. A thing to keep in mind though is the ranking of each attribute as the writers of LMK wrote there are characters as complex and sometimes abandon certain character values if their center value is threatened. 

Mk’s character value list (in my opinion) is as follows: 

-Family 

-Strength 

-Freedom 

-Dependability 

with family and strength being so close to each other, so sometimes strength ends up as Mk’s main concern. Of course, all of these end up mixing at times and in the first seasons we see the mixing of these values gets him in trouble 

Desiring the freedom of choice over listening to Wukong (Pig Pong Panic). Wanting to be dependable but overestimating his strength (Duplication). Wanting to be strong but forgets his family in the process (shadow play). Eventually, he gets his priorities in check and has ended up sticking to this list for most of seasons 3 and 4. 

Now his flaws (in no particular order): 

Impulsivity 

Forgetfulness 

Stubbornness 

Blind devotion 

He’s overcome a lot of these when he was forced to learn them in season 3. His stubbornness to not tell anyone what was happening with the LBD got people hurt. His impulsivity with his actions ended up crashing the ship, and almost sold his family to a goldfish demon.

(Text: Mk's Fault, Good Intentions, Trying mentor)

So he’s had to come up with methods of working around that. Mk’s blind devotion to Wukong almost got Mei killed, and we see how he changes because of it. At the end of season 3, Mk doesn’t explicitly say that he sees Wukong in a new light but he heavily implies it with the metaphor of a bowl of noodles. 

So… Will Mk go crazy and end up hurting his friends? 

I highly doubt it. While I toyed with the idea, Mk is a lot smarter than the fandom usually gives him credit for. He knows Wukong is flawed, and he still trusts in him because he knows Wukong is trying. Mk has faith in Wukong’s strength and the fact that Wukong also heavily values family, even if his isolation makes it a lot harder for him to do so. Just rewatch the ending of season 3 where Wukong apologizes to Mk and watch as Mk comes to the realization that Wukong is trying so hard to make up for his past. (They also drive this point home in season 4 with how disappointed Wukong sounds at himself for not finding Mk in the scroll in the season finale.) 

(Text: He's flawed and trying, Has to accept harsh reality, Dissociating Coping mechanism)

So what about Mk’s impulsivity? I doubt that’d be something that directly harms his friends. He’s worked on his impulsivity by working with others (Redson in season 3 and Mei’s planning in season 4) to help fill in the gaps in his plans. In order for his impulsivity to harm others, you’d have to break that family value first or raise that value of strength and freedom. Most likely this flaw can manifest in Mk overdoing his Monkey form ™  and sending a shockwave that accidentally hurts the people around him.  Probably manifesting either in training or while having fun with Mei (think about how Mk was in the Bad Weather episode). 

Okay, what if Mk is tricked into it like he was in Season 4 (back to the flaw of blind devotion)? Mk has spent every season backstabbed by someone he trusted. We see him snap at Azure after he finds out that he was going to keep Wukong in the scroll. He snaps at Macaque in season 4. It’s safe to say that he’s learned, at least partially, to not trust others so blindly. Mk is also supposed to have gotten the “skill of self-reflection” in “Revenge of the Spider Queen” but his reflecting has mostly just impacted the other flaws. 

(Text: Side note, Monkey Mk doesn't have a nose)

But there is one possibility I toy with, bottled up emotions. Mk has extremely big emotions but hates showing any emotion that can be seen as negative. He loves being happy and he’s not afraid to show it, but as soon as those emotions turn to doubt, anger, or sadness he bottles them up fast. He knows he can rely on his family, but he’s stubborn and thinks that his emotions aren’t worth that hassle. Take the ending of season 3 where Mk states that “he tries not to think too hard” about his own place in the universe, which could be due to a fear of losing the value of freedom if he has a specific role to play in the universe.

(Text: Guys He's so avoidant, forced to think about his identity, 18-early 20's and Identity crisis)

It’s worsened by the fact that every. other. character. avoids. their. emotions. No other characters in this series are open about their emotions except Tang and Sandy. And from season 3 (and a bit of season 4) we know that Mk doesn’t view Tang in an extremely positive light.

Not exactly negative, but his admiration lies more on the rest of the team. Macaque points this out in season 2 stating in “Shadow Play” that Mk should talk out his insecurities, but no one else does that. 

That being said Mk isn’t entirely forgetful either. Macaque was a season 1 villain with his betrayal going through season 3. Mk’s high value of family, and flaw of blind devotion, make him want to give him a chance as Macaque’s past is connected with Wukong’s. HOWEVER, Mk is also stubborn and hasn’t forgiven Macaque’s actions. That’s why he snaps, plus the fact that Macaque is terrible at direct communication. Like I said before, Mk won’t directly hurt anyone he cares about, but if his monkey form is highly connected with his emotions (as most magic tends to be) having those bottled-up insecurities might accidentally cause Mk to unleash more power than he means to.

(Text: Normal, Fed up Meter, rage (on jar))

I have no idea where season 5 is going to go, but I’m so excited about the possibilities. 

(Text: Terrified of his actions hurting his family. UNSTABLE!!!)

[raayllum]

I always thought that it was interesting that the kids relinquished and then reclaimed their Gifts of Sacrifice / worthy Gifts to Rex Igneous in 4x08 for a few reasons. The fact that Ez and Rayla were both sacrificing something linked to their fathers, whereas Callum was sacrificing something linked to magic (he doesn't even refer to Ibis at all) made sense given the context, as well as Rayla being the one to step forward first to sacrifice.

I figured it would be set up at least in terms of relationships / character arc but now I'm wondering if the foreshadowing is going to be more than that.

Rayla sacrificing herself first in S7 in some manner would track, even if she's no longer sacrificing her family the way she did before (4x09, 5x01, 5x04, 6x01, 6x05). Callum sacrificing himself after she does, particularly if it's for her in some manner, would also track; his primal staff represents forgiveness and opportunity for magic "in spite of everything wrong humans have done with it". Presumably, he's going to sacrifice primal magic for himself in exchange for doing dark magic again. And Ezran, whose crown is made of his father's sword but reminds him that "strength isn't always about war and fighting" gives up his crown / that symbol and that lesson.

Rayla will have to give up being an assassin (her swords); Callum will have to relinquish primal magic, at least temporarily; Ezran will have to give up his anger over his father.

But then they all reclaim it, right? Rayla gets her swords and the fathers they represent back, and she'll use her swords to be a protector rather than an assassin. Callum gets his staff back and will usher in a new age of magic for humankind. Ezran takes his crown and his lesson back, the same way he'll get his love for Harrow and his family back in a way that lets him break the cycle.

Maybe it won't be in the direct order of 4x08 ("gifts of sacrifice... we offered gifts that meant a lot to us") in how/when they sacrifice things in S7, for ex I could see Ezran actually going first depending on how stuff with Runaan is paced, but I think we'll see something remiscient anyway.

[buddie2024rewatch]

Buddie 2024 Rewatch!

Hello, everyone! Welcome to the Buddie 2024 Rewatch to spread some positivity!! The goal is to rewatch important episodes for both Buck and Eddie and their relationship and spread some love while we wait for season 8. I'm guessing the show will come back mid-October (mostly because I can't narrow the list down more) which would give us 15 weeks if we start right now, with 2 episodes. This is the list I came down to, this could be altered when we get an official airing date.

Week 1: 2x01 Under Pressure, 2x04 Stuck

Week 2: 2x08 Buck, Actually, 2x10 Merry Ex-Mas

Week 3: 2x18 This Life We Choose, 3x03 The Searchers

Week 4: 3x05 Rage, 3x06 Monsters

Week 5: 3x09 Fallout, 3x15 Eddie Begins

Week 6: 3x18 What's Next?, 4x03 Future Tense

Week 7: 4x08 Breaking Point, 4x12 Treasure Hunt

Week 8: 4x13 Suspicion, 4x14 Survivors

Week 9: 4x06 Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1, 5x11 Outside Looking In

Week 10: 5x13 Fear-o-Phobia, 5x14 Dumb Luck

Week 11: 5x16 May Day, 6x10 In a Flash, 6x11 In Another Life*

Week 12: 6x12 Recovery, 6x13 Mixed Feelings

Week 13: 6x15 Death and Taxes, 7x01 Abandon Ships

Week 14: 7x04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered, 7x05 You Don't Know Me

Week 15: 7x09 Ashes, Ashes, 7x10 All Fall Down

I'm setting up an Instagram account too, also @/buddie2024rewatch, since the idea is also to share stuff where the actors can see, so post stuff using the tag #buddie2024rewatch here and over there and I will try to reblog/share as many posts as I see!

*in another life is marked because Eddie isn't in a lot, so it's more of an optional thing, because 610 and 611 do go together.

[geronimomo-spd]

and there we go! the full Confidential Archive!

here are all the episodes, according to tardis wiki list, including all of the mini specials and chrismas specials and most if not all in good quality! the full list of everything is under the cut because yeah, its a longgg list!

all in order, including some youtube videos and dvd rips hehe, all according the the tardis wiki list

SERIES 1 -

1x00 - A New Dimension (a prolog to season one, narrated by David Tennant)

1x01 - (rose)

1x03 - (the unquiet dead)

1x04 - (aliens of london)

1x05 - (world war 3)

1x06 - (dalek)

1x07 - (the long game)

1x08 - (father's day)

1x09 - (the empty child)

1x10 - (the doctor dances)

1x11 - (boom town)

1x12 - (bad wolf)

1x13.1 - The Ultimate Guide (another little documentary right before

parting of the ways, about key aspects about filming the season)

1x13.2 - (parting of the ways)

1x14 - Backstage at Christmas (the nine minutes they gave us from some of behind the scenes of The Christmas Invasion)

SEIRES 2 -

2x00 - One Year On (a general preview for season 2, including the series 2 press launch, a lot more behind the scenes of The Christmas Invasion and some Torchwood stuff)

2x01 - (new earth)

2x02 - (tooth and claw)

2x03 - (school reunion)

2x04 - (the girl in the fireplace)

2x05 - (rise of the cyberman)

2x06 - (the age of steel)

2x07 - (the idiot's lantern)

2x08 - (the impossible planet)

2x09 - (the satan pit)

2x10 - (love & monsters) - (featuring the winning of the contest of designing a monster)

2x11 - (fear her)

2x12 - (army of ghosts)

2x13 - (doomsday)

2x14 - Music and Monsters (the behind the scenes of doctor who's first music show, including some behind the scenes stuff of The Runaway Bride)

SERIES 3 -

3x01 - (smith and jones)

3x02 - (the shakespear code)

3x03 - (gridlock)

3x04 - (daleks in manhattan)

3x05 - (evolution of the daleks)

3x06 - (the lazarus experiment)

3x05 - (42)

3x06 - (human nature)

3x07 - (the family of blood)

3x08 - (blink)

3x11 - (utopia)

3x12 - (the sound of drums)

3x13.1 - (last of the time lords)

3x13.2 - Children in Need Special (the behind the scenes of the special where 10 meets 5, really cute stuff)

3x14.1 - Kylie Special (series 3 christmas special. version 1 - the full version in less of a good quality i found on youtube, bless this youtube channel honestly)

3x14.2 - Kylie Special (series 3 christmas special. version 2 - the shorter version that was up on iplayer)

3x14.3 - Kylie Special (series 3 christmas special. version 3 - the version i edited to include the low quality parts that were missing with the good quality shorter version)

SERIES 4 (INCLUDING THE SPECIALS) -

4x01 - (partners in crime)

4x02 - (the fiers of pompaii)

4x03 - (planet of the ood)

4x04 - (the sontaran stratagem)

4x05 - (the doctor's daughter)

4x06 - (the posion sky)

4x07 - (the unicorn and the wasp)

4x08 - (silence in the library)

4x09 - (forest of the dead)

4x10 - (midnight)

4x11 - (turn left)

4x12 - (the stolen earth)

4x13 - (journey's end)

4x14.1 - The Journey (So Far) (a documentary about the entire show so far)

4x14.2 - Confidential Christmas 2008 (behind the scenes of The Next Doctor christmas special)

4x14.3 - Doctor Who: Top 5 Christmas Moments (a sort of confidential behind the scenes clip show of all of the episodes set at christmas)

4x15.1 - At the Proms 2008 (behind the scenes of doctor who at the proms 2008)

4x15.2 - The Eleventh Doctor (the special they used to announce Matt Smith as the new doctor who)

4x15.3 - Desert Storm (behind the scenes of Planet Of The Dead)

4x16 - Is There Life on Mars? (behind the scenes of The Waters Of Mars)

4x17 - Lords and Masters (behind the scenes of The End Of Time, Part One)

4x18 - Allons-y! (behind the scenes of The End Of Time, Part Two. version 1 - full dvd version)

4x18 - Allons-y! (behind the scenes of The End Of Time, Part Two. version 2 - shortend higher quality version from iplayer, this version has a song in the soundtrack that is diffrent from the dvd version, this is the most accurate version to what aired on tv at the time)

SERIES 5-

5x01 - (the eleventh hour)

5x02 - (the beast below)

5x03 - (victory of the daleks)

5x04 - (the time of angels)

5x05 - (flesh and stone)

5x06 - (the vampires of venice)

5x07 - (amy's choice)

5x08 - (the hungry earth)

5x09 - (cold blood)

5x10.1 - (vincent and the doctor)

5x10.2 Monster Files: The Daleks (a little documentary about victory of the daleks/daleks in general)

5x11 - (the lodger)

5x12 - (the pandorica opens)

5x13 - (the big bang)

5x14.1 - Monster Files: The Weeping Angels (a little documentary about the weeping angels episodes this season)

5x14.2 - Monster Files: The Silurians (a little documentary about the silurian episodes)

5x14.3.1 - Monster Files: The Alliance (a little documentary about the alliance of monsters from the pandoica opens)

5x14.3.2 - Backstage at the Doctor Who Prom 2010 (behind the scenes of doctor who at the proms 2010)

5x14.4.1 - Charlie McDonnell - Runner (the first Charlle behind the scenes videos, pretty quiet - Currently not up on the archives as Charlie has expressed the need to remove her old videos)

5.14.4.2 - Charlie McDonnell - TARDIS (another Charlie video, she explores the tardis set this time -Currently not up on the archives as Charlie has expressed the need to remove her old videos)

5x14.4.3 - Charlie McDonnell - Decorating Bus (another Charlie video, she decorates the food place with christmas decorations, i liked them Charlie - Currently not up on the archives as Charlie has expressed the need to remove her old videos)

5x14.4.4 - Charlie McDonnell - Christmas Presents (badger) (the famus Charlie video where she brings the cast and crew presents! this is where Matt gets his badger puppet - Currently not up on the archives as Charlie has expressed the need to remove her old videos)

5x14.5 - Christmas Special 2010 (behind the scenes of A Christmas Carol)

SERIES 6 -

6x01.1 - (the impossible astronaut)

6x01.2 - My Sarah Jane: A Tribute to Elisabeth Sladen (a special memorial for the late Elisabth Sladen 😭😭)

6x02 - (day of the moon)

6x03 - (the curse of the black spot)

6x04 - (the doctor's wife)

6x05 - (the rebel flesh)

6x06 - (the almost people)

6x07.1 - Charlie McDonnell interviews Neil Gaiman (Charlie interviews Neil Gaiman, appewrently causing some ruckes on Charlie's blog at the time hehe - Currently not up on the archives as Charlie has expressed the need to remove her old videos)

6x07.2 - (a good man goes to war)

6x07.3 - The Monster Files: The Silence (a little documentary on the silence, thank god because i needed that)

6x07.4 - The Monster Files: The Gangers (a little documentary on the gangers, my beloveds)

6x07.5 - Charlie McDonnell Becomes A Dalek (the last Charlie video, released late because it had the 1-4 tardis set, also she gets to ride a dalek in this one - Currently not up on the archives as Charlie has expressed the need to remove her old videos)

6x08 - (lets kill hitler)

6x09 - (night terrors)

6x10 - (the girl who waited)

6x11 - (the god complex)

6x12 - (closing time)

6x13.1 - (the wedding of river song)

6x13.2 - The Monster Files: The Antibodies (a little documentary on the antibodies from lets kill hitler)

6x13.3 - The Monster Files: The Cybermats (a little documentary on the little adorable cybermates because awww)

6x14 - The Nights' Tale (a little documentary on on the nights mini episodes! the last confidential stuff ever made rip)

[talas-first-lady]

Charlie Fashion Tournament: Round 5 Match 1

We're down to the final four! Let's go!

On the right: From Tender Is the Nate, Charlie's black and red outfit. Perfect for enjoying some music or testing out your best Amaya impersonation.

On the left: From Hell No, Dolly! and Legends of To-Meow-Meow, Charlie's yellow & green plaid skirt look. Perfect for breaking the timeline or snuggling with Zaricat.

Find other polls here!

And follow my new side blog for the mega Legends costume poll, coming soon: @gidgets-fabricator

[lover-of-mine]

If yall allow me to be insane here, you know the whole blue and green thing with the couples in 911? Well, I noticed the fact that Eddie's phone case was green and I was like isn't Buck's phone case blue? And then I got curious. This is on 6x13 with the whole blue and green theme really established and both of them with the phones and the blue and green.

So I decided to go back a bit, and from what I could find, in 5x06, with the ambulance kidnapping thing, Eddie had no phone case and Buck had a black phone case.

(the quality in these sucks cause it's very fast, but Eddie's is the left one, ignore the ey there it's from that episode they switched their turnouts while shooting I guess they forgot to change all the shots, you can see the edges and the buttons so like no case, and on the right, there's Buck's and its black's)

Before this, well, no phone case for Eddie, Black phone case for Buck. (this is from 4x08, I had to dig a bit, I don't think Eddie uses his phone a lot in the show sokaoskakos, but Buck is usually black or dark grey when we see him in the corner researching something)

After that, I'm assuming given the plot they had to replace the phones and Buck got a dark blue phone case and Eddie still had no phone case. (this is from 5x13)

So I kept going, in 6x07, Eddie finally got a phone case, it's this greyish-green color and Buck's a lighter blue than last season, which looks like the ones they are using on 6x13.

We know they don't make any choice by accident when it comes to set and costumes and this is at least a bit interesting in solidifying the whole blue and green thing. And it's definitely interesting when you think about the whole darker shades the more developed the relationship is and the way Eddie's is darker than Buck's.............................

[imminent-danger-came]

going insane bonkers crazy again thinking about Macaque and MK parallels and similarities and am so so sick thinking about how they recognize it in eachother (at least subconsciously)

After MK saw the shadowpeach fight in 4x11, I imagine he see's himself in Macaque just like he saw himself in the warrior (finally understanding what Macaque meant in 2x07 lol)

Like:

"No that's you! You're the one always running off! Searching for more power, or more sources of immortality!"

(Am I counting Wukong leaving in the AHIB intro flashback? Yeah. Mainly because MK mentions it in 4x09: "You think Monkey King ever felt like this? Maybe that's why he stayed on this mountain, just having a good time with you guys—you know, cause...cause he knew he'd be out of the way where he couldn't hurt anyone he cared about." If the writers are going to call attention to it then so will I!)

But the cool thing about this show is that Macaque and MK also "run off":

"Well, it was great seeing you bud, just run off like you always do!"

Bonus shot of the time MK tried to run away and failed:

Bonus bonus shot of the one time Wukong and MK ran off together:

Bonus bonus bonus shot of the one time Mei ran off:

[bam-bi-buck]

Buck & Chris’s relationship + abandonment issues - long post

Do y’all think part of the reason Christopher went with his Grandparents is because he felt safe enough about Buck’s love and commitment to him that he knew Buck wouldn’t be mad at him when he came back?

Before I continue with that train of thought, this thought process is shaped by theories I’ve seen about why Chris called his Grandparents instead of Buck when Chris has gone to Buck for support with his anger/fear due to Eddie’s whole thing twice before (4x08 & 5x13) but he didn’t this time? Why? maybe because viewing him as a parental figure in this case impacts how he views Buck likelyhood to be completely on his side as his grandparents (especially Helena) are instead of being on both of their side - which he was

Chris was really angry and hurt, he didn’t want Buck to try to fix this, to try to keep them together, he wanted Buck to be angry at Eddie with him, but that’s not who Buck is and both Chris and Eddie know that

That’s why Eddie called him and Chris didn’t

Now back to Chris, his abandonment issues, and his relationship with Buck and how we can interpret it based off 7x10

Chris has severe abandonment issues, which is not surprising at all based on what he’s been through - Eddie being in active duty throughout his early childhood, then working himself to the bone with three jobs, Shannon leaving to California and then dying

Then he had feelings of abandonment during the pandemic, he lost contact with both Ana & Marisol after their relationships with Eddie ended, his bisabuela moved back to Texas, and we didn’t heard about Carla at all season 7 (I’m like 98% sure - please correct me if I’m wrong)

In season 7 he even said he feels like girls leave when Buck had that dating talk with him

(Even Buck technically left him for a bit, during the lawsuit era but I’m unsure is he views it that way or not though we do know that Chris missed him during that time - Grocery Store Divorce and all)

However, Buck has since made a promise to him and their relationship has evolved a lot since then

We know that Chris goes to Buck when he’s mad at Eddie (4x08) and there’s lot of evidence that indicates he views Buck as a parental figure (he talks to Buck in a similar fashion as he does Eddie, he seeks out Buck for support, the way he spoke to Buck while he was in a coma, just to name a few)

Plus there’s a reason Eddie chose Buck as Chris’s legal guardian and why the writers chose to include that plot

Because of Buck & Chris’s bond

And he lost his mom, he’s almost lost his dad several times, he’s gotten attached to two different women Eddie was seeing and has now lost them

When Chris ubered to Buck’s place and said that everyone leaves, Buck promised he wouldn’t leave Chris

And then when he talked to Chris before he left with his grandparents, Buck did flounder a bit (as would I in that situation, not judging here) but he does make a comment about understanding Chris wanting to go which would probably reassure Chris that Buck isn’t and won’t be mad at him

I think Chris would have had a harder time leaving if he was scared of Buck not being there when he got back

We all have our assumptions (mostly negative from what I’m seeing but I’m not judging I do too) but we don’t actually know what Helena’s saying to Chris, if she’s talking down Eddie’s love for him or not

But while it’s possible she is, Eddie told Chris himself that he can come home at any point he wants

We can also assume that part of why Chris left is because he’s mad + hurt and lashing out wanting Eddie to feel the same as him / doesn’t trust Eddie right now and is waiting for Eddie to do something to prove himself before he’ll be ready go home

I do believe that Chris knows that he can go home to Eddie (no matter what Helena may or may not be saying) and thus him leaving isn’t triggering his abandonment issues and that he’s just waiting for, as I theorized above, for Eddie to prove he won’t be hurt again if he does

and thus his abandonment issues won’t be triggered regarding Eddie (this time) unless he’s convinced he can’t go home, something happens with Eddie, or Eddie fails to prove himself to Chris

OR his abandonment issues were already triggered and he felt like he was losing Eddie (again) to Kim and her madness and he left as a means to protect himself from that, and is, again waiting for proof that he’s safe to come home from the aftermath of all that

All that to say I don’t think his abandonment issues would stop him from leaving Eddie with his grandparents in this particular instance

Ethier way though… because Chris has had a lot of experience of not having both his parents, losing parents, dealing with the fear of losing parents, and losing positive authority figures, it had to be really tough to leave Eddie himself, no matter how angry and hurt he is

And if I’m right and he does view Buck as a parental figure as well then we might assume he’d also fear losing Buck as well by leaving to Texas

I think his abandonment issues would have been triggered regarding Buck while living in Texas, especially since he’s probably always worried about losing Eddie to a certain extent (army, overworking himself in Texas, work as a firefighter, etc) he lost his mother twice, lost both Ana and Marisol who may not have been parental figures but were positive authority figures in his lives, except Buck promised Chris he wouldn’t leave him

And so I think independently of his feelings regarding abandonment and Eddie, Chris still feels secure in his relationship with Buck to not fear losing him during his time away

Just a theory and I could totally be off but it’ll be really interesting to see how they address everything when Buck and Chris reunite (if they do)

[sevensoulmates]

7x05 Buddie Meta YDKM Part 2 (of 4)

Part 1. Part 3. Part 4

I just want to make an aside and say that I'm really happy they didn't go the route of having Maddie just "know" about Buck's queerness. As much as it's a funny headcanon, in real life "the glass closet" reaction from other people can feel invalidating, and Buck obviously reacts defensively when Maddie says "Wow", wanting to know immediately why she would say that. Also, just because Maddie is his big sister doesn't mean she automatically knows everything about Buck. I'm glad that both she and Eddie reacted with some surprise but mostly just acceptance.

I like that they're making it a point to show that even though it feels like Buck liking men is coming out of nowhere, it's really not. He's felt feelings for men and sexual attraction to men in the past, he just thought it was all normal. This also reminds me of his relationship with Eddie (and not just because Buck admitted to being an ass man and we all know who has the best ass on the show) because he views the relationship he was with Eddie to be "normal" best friends when it's really not true. There's a lot of nebulousness there but then in the scenes where it very much stands out that this is not typical male best friendship. But Buck just didn't realize it, and my guess is Eddie doesn't realize this either.

Very brief aside, but my roommate thought this line was interesting because apparently "clefts" in men are supposed to be generally perceived as "super manly" or known for being something The Manliest of Men have (think Clark Kent/Superman) and I just find it interesting that Buck's attracted to something that's very stereotypically masculine. Once again proving that he's attracted to the male form, not just personalities or such.

Qualifying Tommy as "Eddie's friend" here is fascinating because I really think Maddie was flashing back to the last episode when Buck was in her kitchen complaining about Tommy and Eddie, and Maddie had justified it as Buck being "friend jealous" only for Buck to turn around and date Tommy all of a sudden. I think a lot of things are slotting into place for her now, and I think a lot of her "wow" comment was also her thinking about the implications of this too.

Hence why this next line feels pointed. It's very straightforward, practically bashing us over the head at this point. Buck's not sure of his own feelings yet. I don't think this is meant to say he's unsure of being bisexual or attracted to men, but that's he unsure of what he's feeling in regards to who the object of his affection is at the moment.

"If there's something you need to tell Eddie, you will. In your own time."

Are you kidding me? Could you BE any more blatant? It's not "you'll come out to Eddie when you're ready." or "you'll tell Eddie about Tommy when you're ready". It's a purposely vague line because Buck doesn't know what his feelings are just yet, but those of us who have been paying attention know. What he has to tell Eddie goes far beyond just his newfound bisexuality. And once Buck figures out what his feelings are, that's when he'll tell Eddie that "something". And it's not gonna happen on anyone's timeline but Buck's. This line really leads me to believe that Buck is a strong contender to figure out his feelings by the end of the season and may end up being the first person to admit their feelings (possibly later on in season 8).

Trigger warning for Eddie/Marisol post-sex scene:

Firstly I want to draw several comparisons to Eddie's previous scenes with his love interests. The first is that this wide shot of the setting before panning to them in bed reminded me of the scene in 4x08 Breaking Point where Eddie is on his date with Ana and we hear grunting/moaning sounds, but it's a fake-out to them just sitting on the couch learning math. This time, it's not a fake-out, they really were having sex in this scene. The second parallel is the fact that Eddie and Marisol are lying together upside down on the bed. In my opinion, this is a blatant call-back to Shannon and their sex scene in 2x10 Merry Ex-Mas. Which to me signals a couple of things. 1.) That Eddie is very obviously trying to force Marisol to be a replacement for Shannon and 2.) He's doing the same thing with Marisol that he did with Shannon and using sex as a distancing method.

I know that sounds contradictory. Why would he ask her to move in if he's been trying to distance himself from her? Bear with me and I'll explain in a minute.

We know that Eddie doesn't know Marisol all that well, as proven by this episode. So what were they doing all of this time when they've been dating for months? Just not talking? Nope. Apparently, they've been having sex. So much sex apparently that they haven't been able to have any "get to know you" conversations.

With Shannon, the two of them had sex because it was easier than actually trying to talk to each other. Because when they would talk, it would always devolve into screaming fights. If Eddie is subconsciously trying to make his relationship with Marisol into the one like with Shannon, that may be an explanation as to why he's been so hesitant to actually get to know her at all. I'll come back to this more later.

Now I'm curious if anyone else picked up on this line because it felt like a clear parallel to season 5, but not to Eddie's last relationship. Instead, it felt like a parallel to BuckTaylor shortly after she moved in 5x13 Fear-O-Phobia. Not only is BuckTaylor paralleled because Buck also asked Taylor to move in on a whim in order to save a failing relationship, but it's also where Taylor decided her couch (any couch theory truthers out there?) was better than Buck's couch and therefore he would have to get rid of his in order to make room for hers. To me, that showed Taylor's clear inability to make any compromises with Buck, and anywhere she lived would always be her place, and not theirs. This parallel is interesting because it just makes me think that it's foreshadowing more incompatibility for Eddie and Marisol in the future. With Marisol "invading Eddie's home", the more of her that is moved in, the more of himself he has to get rid of, shut down, or deny. That's not to say Marisol is on the same level as Taylor Kelly, oh no, but it might just show that this relationship Eddie has with Marisol might just be as unhealthy for him, as Buck's relationship with Taylor was for him.

I also find it interesting how Eddie starts to make what he's learned sexual. He's not talking about your general "slapping of the hands or arms with a ruler", spanking very much has one definition, though it can be used in both PG and sexual situations. Spanking of a child's bottom is used as punishment, often to cause shame, in order for the child to not do certain things again. (This might be a controversial take but) spanking a child is physical abuse, and often has psychological repercussions on a child as they grow up. Eddie here seems to be insinuating that he was put through something similar when he was young. But then he also conflates it with the sexual form of spanking which should normally be fine between consenting partners. To me, I think Eddie is now subconsciously mentally connecting shame, punishment, and the conditioned urge to Never Do It Again or suffer the consequences with having sex with Marisol. The question then begs, what is Eddie so ashamed of and what are the consequences he's so afraid of?

I find it very curious that rather than Eddie being concerned that Marisol is too religious for him, or that they might have differing lifestyles that may not be compatible, he worries how this will affect their sex life. In my opinion, it's because on some level he's aware if he can no longer have sex with Marisol, what else are they supposed to do with the time they spend together? Do they have anything in common? Do they share any hobbies? It's especially interesting juxtaposing 7x04 where Eddie was having a BLAST going on dates outings with Tommy, and they had so much in common and Eddie was just asking Marisol to babysit multiple times a week. So with the little time he has been spending with Marisol recently, all they've been doing is fucking.

It's the same pattern of distancing he did with Shannon. She got pregnant, they got married, Eddie immediately enlisted and preceded to spend most of the following 4-6 years away from Shannon, only seeing her for short periods at a time where they spent most of the time they did see each other fighting. When he was back, Eddie was emotionally distant, which was a large part of the reason Shannon left in the first place. And when she came back, and he didn't have any other ways to distance himself? He used sex instead, and only really got it into his head that he wanted to get back with her when she had her pregnancy scare.

That's not to say there weren't good moments, or that Eddie didn't love her. But I do think a large part of the reason Eddie looks back on that time and romanticizes it is because he enjoyed the concept of being married to her and the safety net that provided him. Their marriage/feelings for each other were nuanced, but it can't be denied that from what we've seen on screen (which is all we can really call canon) it seems like a large part of their marriage was spent in (mutual) deep dysfunction.

So now that he doesn't have sex as a way to distance himself from Marisol what does he do? Avoids her physically as much as he can.

Additionally, I would like to touch on something known as the Madonna-Whore Complex:

After we see Marisol in her nun attire, the next time Eddie sees her, he sees her as the Virgin Mary, mother of Christ, aka, the ultimate Mother Figure in catholicism. One could argue that Eddie's turned off because she reminds him of old teachers who apparently used to physically hit him and probably weren't very open to certain things that they would classify as "sin" or "ungodly".

Towards the end of their relationship, Eddie very much only saw Shannon as Christopher's mother, enough so that Shannon even questioned if he wanted her for her. Now he seems to be going through a similar problem, but instead of Marisol being the literal mother of his child, he's seeing her as this Mother figure and therefore unfuckable, hence his struggles to feel arousal about her after this. But as we're shown later as proven by Bobby, it does feel as if Eddie is using the whole Catholicism thing as an excuse to distance himself from Marisol.

So what's the truth of this? The Madonna-Whore complex is rooted in misogyny and patriarchy, but where do queer or repressed queer men fall into this category? That might be a little above my pay grade to answer, but it is still something interesting to think about.

This was very telling as well. "To avoid not having sex" essentially means he was purposefully avoiding having to talk with Marisol in order to turn her down for sex. Idk, but if you're in a good enough partnership where you're at the point of asking them to move in, it's usually assumed that you at least know how to communicate to your partner that you don't want sex. Why is Eddie afraid to tell Marisol that he doesn't want to have sex with her? It makes sense if ALL they've been doing most of the time they spend together is having sex. If he has to tell Marisol no to sex, what are they going to do then? Talk? Actually get to know each other? God forbid.

This starts the series of scenes in this episode where Eddie does everything in his power to avoid having a conversation with Marisol because now his sex-crutch is no longer there to distract the both of them.

I'll admit I didn't know what the "Manchurian catholic" and "sea monkeys" dialogue lines meant but I've since done some research and I get it now. "Manchurian Catholic" is a reference to the movie "Manchurian Candidate" which is basically about a man who has was brainwashed into being an assassin, highlighting the psychological effects of suppressed memories and trauma. Sea monkeys were a children's thing where you had like shriveled shrimp where if you add water, they blow up in size. Basically, there are three lines all pointing to the same thing: Eddie's sitting on a well of repressed feelings (that are attached to shame) that may have been conditioned "out" of him over time.

This is what is known as Catholic Guilt. The question then becomes: What does Eddie feel guilty for? What "sin" has Eddie committed that is making him feel so guilty? Having sexual relations with a woman who was an almost-nun? Having pre-marital relations? Could be on the surface.

The show is acknowledging that Eddie is far more repressed than he even realizes. I feel like these lines are inviting the audience to think deeper: what is Eddie repressing here? Is it really just that he doesn't want to have sex with Marisol because God is watching and judging him for pre-marital sex or sleeping with one of his exes (thank you Bobby for that amazing line)? Or is it something different?

Marisol never actually got far enough to be a full-blown nun. She made the choice not to continue with it, but Eddie still has a problem with it. The main part of the problem, in his own words, is that he can't get aroused when he looks at her anymore. Not only that but he's been unable to even masturbate because the thought of her turns him off that much. Like my dude, there's no rule that says you have to imagine your girlfriend while jacking off. A lot of people, even people in loving committed relationships, have sexual fantasies that don't necessarily involve their partner and it doesn't necessarily make them a horrible person. I think it's interesting that even in his sexual fantasies Eddie's so strict about being "loyal" to his partner, that he can't even allow himself to imagine anything else other than her when getting off. But now, he can't because the nun things turns him off that much.

I can't help but wonder, is it really the nun thing, Eddie? Or is it that Marisol's strong connection to catholicism reminds you of times when you were forced to push down parts of yourself that were only starting to blossom in order to conform to what your religion and your family expected of you. Is it that the nun thing turns you off so much that you can't get hard? Or is it because now that you've been reminded of how you suppressed your feelings growing up, the reservoir of feelings has bursted and you're being reminded that women....just don't do it for you in general. But to think about men is to invite shame, punishment, guilt, and pain, and to be avoided at all costs.

Maybe it's easier to pretend it's the nun thing and not a women thing.

On a slightly more humorous note:

Buck's "I wish I could help you with that" line is VERY interesting. Freudian slip, mayhaps? Do you wish you could help Eddie get off, Buck? DO YOU? ;)

Other than that, I also wanted to point out that this scene in the gym is a parallel to 5x02, when Buck and Eddie last sat in these exact spots and Buck did the exact same thing and gave Eddie good advice about how to handle his last girlfriend Ana, basically telling Eddie to stop stringing Ana along. I find it interesting we're getting callbacks to Eddie's last break up because last time he also decided he was just going to stick it out and it was only Buck giving him some perspective that allowed him to finally make the decision to break up with her in the following episode.

But this time, Buck isn't able to fully tell Eddie all that he wants to say, which is the truth about himself. He gives him advice to talk to Bobby. And Bobby's conversation with Eddie is the LOUDEST in the entire episode.

This scene is incredibly revealing because it shows that Eddie isn't even really sure if it is his feelings regarding Catholicism that are triggering this reaction in him. Bobby rightly points out that the effects of being raised Catholic don't just go away once you leave the faith. They can have lasting and lingering consequences, some that people might not even realize until later in life.

Bobby very blatantly tells Eddie that this adverse reaction he's having to Marisol's past as an almost-nun is likely a reaction similar to his panic attacks that he had about Ana when things were moving too fast with her back in season 5. Bobby says Eddie never talks about her, not in any way that makes it seem like he was so serious about her as to ask her to move in. This comes out of nowhere for Bobby (and the rest of the characters) just as it does for the audience. This is to show us that what Eddie is doing IS out of nowhere and is a decision that should be questioned not just by the audience but by Eddie as well.

The fact that Bobby is comparing this reaction to how he acted with Ana really does harken back to the "repression" storyline of season 5. Eddie's subconscious is trying to tell him something, but he's ignoring it (as he always does) and is instead doing the exact opposite of what he should do and doubles down on Marisol.

And Eddie, as always, gets the exact opposite message of what Bobby's trying to tell him. Because Eddie's not a commitment-phobe. He commits too much, too fast, almost as if he cares more about getting to the "committed" part of the relationship, and doesn't care enough to actually build an actual bond with the women he's with. And Bobby gets to the heart of it by name-dropping Shannon. Because the crux of his commitment issues started with her. When he felt so guilty for getting her pregnant and then later for abandoning her for the military, that he basically vowed to stay committed to her for the rest of time, in life and in death. She's been dead for five years at this point, and Eddie is still hung up on his guilt over her. And no, I will not say he's hung up on her or his romantic love for her because that's not true as proven by his next line.

All I have to say is THANK GOD. Thank GOD the show is finally acknowledging that Shannon and Eddie did not get married because they really wanted to, or because they just loved each other so much. They got married because they got pregnant and were pressured into getting married by their catholic community and families. The show is finally starting to deconstruct Eddie's marriage and his romanticizing it over the years.

This line blew me away. Because he doesn't say "I loved her" or "I loved being with her." He loved being married. He liked being committed. He liked the knowledge that he had what was expected of him, a wife and a child. He liked being settled, knowing that he wouldn't ever have to go back out and make himself vulnerable to find another partner. He would never have to crack himself open so far to be truly known and get hurt. They could both hurt each other so deeply and it wouldn't matter because Eddie at least did his duty. He married her, made an honest woman out of her in the eyes of the church and their families, and provided monetarily for her. But he never gave her him, not fully, and that comes straight out of the mouth of Shannon Diaz herself.

What Eddie is seeking from Marisol is not a partnership, it's not a genuine connection with an individual. Because to create those kinds of relationships requires exposing yourself and letting in the possibility of being judged, of being hurt, of losing them. And Eddie doesn't want to be so invested in a person like that ever again. He already experienced that kind of loss with Shannon, and even they didn't have that kind of deep soul connection. I wonder if Eddie's afraid that he wouldn't survive that kind of loss if it was actually a partner he really deeply and unconditionally loved. It might destroy him, and that scares him.

So instead, Eddie would rather just skip forward to committed, to moved in, to married, to settled, and just stick it out when he has panic attacks, when he feels like he's sleeping next to a stranger, when sex is as deep of a connection he can ever get with a woman.

But when his body fights back, in various ways, in panic attacks, in sexual dysfunction, he doesn't listen to it. He ignores the signs.

Go to part 3!

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4

[m3r1m4r5u333]

Btw I NEED TO ramble about the scene in which Buck comes out to Maddie and why it just makes me love her even more than I did before. Maddie is my freaking GOAT ❤️❤️❤️

Why? Well, because she already KNEW. She TOTALLY KNEW. And still pretended to be surprised!!

Why do I say she knew? Well. Because it's 100% canon that Buck rambles about his boy crushes, a lot. A LOT. To everyone!!!

I can't remember how much I've talked about this, but Buck totally had a crush on Albert at one point. There's an whole storyline about it, episodes 4x07 and 4x08.

Here's a recap of how it goes:

Buck goes on a date with Veronica. The date goes BADLY. It lasts for about 90 minutes and Buck leaves humiliated, never wanting to see her again.

Albert is Buck's room mate. Buck comes home, rants about the embarrassing date, announces that he never wants to see Veronica again... Goes to take out the trash, and runs across Veronica, realising that she's their neighbour, lives in the same building. Buck runs home and urgently tells Albert that they have to move!!

Then... Buck knocks on Veronica's door, trying to reconciliate. He does not want awkwardness between neighbours. They agree that the date was terrible, and then... Albert walks out of the shower in a towel.

Next... We see Buck and Taylor (she's a reporter) at work. They're watching a guy who's having a meltdown on a low roof. The emergency is taking forever, Taylor and Buck talk... Or rather.. Buck does!!

Not only does he rant about Albert and Veronica to Taylor, he also talks about them to a random first responder. Albert in a towel!!! has certainly left Buck reeling. It's super obvious that the one Buck actually fancies is Albert. The one date with Veronica was terrible, they definitely weren't ever in a relationship -- but Buck is sputtering about "breaking of bro code!!" and Albert in a towel?? Yeah.

They're not the only ones hearing about Albert. There's also a scene (can't recall which episode) where Chimney and Maddie enter a karaoke bar. Chimney says something about this being nice reprise because he's heard enough about Albert lately...

Anyway, back to Veronica/Buck/Albert/Taylor. Buck invites Taylor on a double date - without telling her it's a double date. Taylor arrives, takes in the queer love square she's been pulled into, very pointedly says that she's heard A LOT about Albert because Buck keeps talking about him... And then she's like "Actually I'm off, this is ridiculous.", and storms off (go queen 👑!)... (Then she and Buck reconciliate. Her capacity to forgive is unparalled, just saying.)

Anyway, back to WHY I LOVE MADDIE. (And Chimney!!!)

The crush on Albert isn't the only obvious boy crush Buck has, is it?

Eddie... The way they meet and Buck goes nuts trying to impress Eddie. The peacocking (mutual peacocking!!!!) is absolutely ridiculous. Chimney watches this mating display dance, shakes his head, rolls his eyes, chuckles to himself... Chimney can tell what's going on, for sure.

Then there's that famous scene in which Buck rambles about Eddie and Chris, is apparently elbows deep online researching for ways to help Eddie with Christopher... Maddie finally asks if the boy crush on Eddie means that Buck is over Abby.

... And there is of course also that scene where Buck assumes that when Maddie meets Chimney and says "he's so cute!", Maddie is talking about Eddie... Even though Maddie and Chimney are before line that seen talking and flirting like they're totally in their own bubble.

Anyway - then let's jump to season 7. Buck is rambling on and on about Eddie and Tommy, and how they've hit off. Apparently has for a good while. Buck is super bothered by their friendship, it's clear he's pressing Chris for intel, snooping around the Diaz home trying to find more information... Maddie listens to this absolutely ridiculous, clueless prattling. And she knows. She totally knows.

Buck is GLASS. He's absolutely transparent. This man isn't straight.

And she's not the only one who knows.

Chimney enters the room. Maddie looks at him "NO! Don't you dare say anything!!!" But Chimney can't resist indulging himself with some subtle teasing.

He jumps in, praising Tommy. "That Tommy's SO COOL 😍!!" Basically just adding fuel to the fire, getting under Buck's skin.

Maddie, in the background is making a face like:

"jdjdkkeke CHIMNEY 🤦 ...Ugh, thank you, darling. 🙄👌You've done it. I'll be here all day, listening to this absolutely brainless jealous meltdown. Fucking great!"

So...

Why won't they say anything, talk to Buck about how ridiculous he's being? Sit him down and spell:

YOU AREN'T STRAIGHT. YOUR BOY CRUSHES CAN BE SEEN FROM OUTER SPACE. Wake up!!

Well... Because they are being patient. Because they are being considerate, because they do not want to press him, because they're letting him take his time, figure it out at his own pace.

Because they know that confronting someone who isn't ready to face their queerness can go badly.

Forcing someone to confront their queerness can backlash, it can make that person retreat further inside the closet.

It can be embarrassing and traumatizing for the closeted person to be pressed about this inner conflict. The closet is a maze, it is scary, and confusing, and the denial can be powerful enough that the closeted person doesn't even have any idea that hey, I'm queer, I'm closeted.

So Maddie and Chimney are being sensitive. They see that Buck isn't ready to talk about his sexuality - he's obviously not even aware of it.

So Maddie and Chimney are giving him the time he needs to come to term with it. They may indulge in some gentle teasing, maybe try to give him the occasional hint to help him along, but mostly they're just waiting, listening, letting him be.

So!!!!

What about Maddie's (my GOAT, I love her ❤️) reaction to Buck coming out? Why did she pretend to be surprised by Buck's attraction to men?

Because she was being KIND. Considerate. Because she loves her brother and realises that this moment... It's not about her. It's about him. It's about the reaction Buck needs, to feel supported.

It's not the time to embarrass him. It's not the time to GLOAT about how smart she is, to have realised, ages ago, that Buck is clearly into into men, too.

She did see it coming, and because she is the BEST sister ever... She prepared. She researched this shit, how to react to someone's coming out in a positive way.

And if this is new to you - pay attention now...

Many queer people say this about their coming out;

It sucks if the person you're coming out goes "I KNEW IT! I CALLED IT! I SAW THIS COMING! YOU WERE SO OBVIOUS!!"

Because it totally belittles their struggle. It can be humiliating to learn that when you were scared, and stressed, and confused, and trying to hide your vulnerable underside... Someone was watching you, and thinking "Pffft. You're so freaking obvious. You're fooling nobody. Just come out already."

This gloating "I knew it" reaction isn't just bad because it makes you feel stupid, embarrassed, to learn that you were being transparent. It's like you have no privacy anymore. They saw your performance and gave it one star.

This "Oh I knew"... It makes you anxious because then you wonder... Who else already knows? Who else am I obvious to? What else am I obvious about?

Learning that they knew... It can be traumatizing. Embarrassing. Scary. Because nobody wants to learn that they're easy to read.

Maybe... you aren't ready to come out to everyone, and this reaction makes you terrified that you won't have the option to get ready, that they will realise what you're hiding, and force you to talk about it.

Because maybe... you're still freaked out abour people knowing you're queer. Maybe you fear people spotting it and lashing out.

Or maybe... You aren't afraid of a hateful reaction, but panic at the idea of even a supportive talk about your sexuality with someone. Sexuality is an universal taboo, talking about is awkward and stressful to almost everyone.

And also, when you come out and the person you told tells you they already knew, that your queerness was obvious, and they were expecting you to come out..?

It can be a shock in another way. Maybe your queerness was something you, at some point, were desperate to hide from others... And clearly, you failed that mission. What else are you failing to hide? Because everyone has something they're insecure about!!! Secrets, traumas, embarrassing moments, vulnerable parts. We all try to guard something.

So being told that your poker face sucks? It can make you feel totally paranoid. You think... Omg. I thought I was hiding this. I tried so hard to hide this.

But clearly I wasn't hiding. They saw right through me. Am I always so easy to read?

Do people know all my secrets, everything that makes me nervous and embarrassed, and scared? Do they just look at me and think "They're so dumb to put up that front, we can totally tell how you really think and feel."

Do people look at me and laugh? Do they joke about me behind my back?

And so on.

Basically, when someone comes out to you and you go "Thank god! ABOUT TIME!!"... You're being a prick.

They're opening up to you. They are being vulnerable. They are trusting you with something.

This moment... Your reaction is important. If you want to be a good ally, and support this person coming out to you.

Your job is to provide reassurance. Support. A listening ear. Your love.

Your job isn't to gloat, or dismiss their fears. Your job is not to induce panic, paranoia, or humiliate them by making them feel dumb.

They may be scared of your reaction. Respect that fear, however irrational it is. It doesn't matter if you're queer too, or think you're the best ally in the world, this moment can still be something they've been nervous about. Don't shit on it by smugly gloating about your excellent queerdar.

Yes, you can be honest, if they desperately want to know if you suspected anything. You can gently tell them that you saw some signs. But really, this moment isn't the time to humiliate them or freak them out. Be sensitive.

....

.... Oops sorry, got lost in the ramble 😅😅!!

Uh... Where was I? Yes.

Basically what I wanted to say with this post is that...

Maddie. Freaking. Buckley!!!! You are the love of my life, does not matter that you are fictional. You're my freaking GOAT anyway. I'm... weak.

Because her reaction to Buck's coming out?!!!

Jdjdjjdjdbndnd.

It actually makes me emotional. It was so perfect. It was so full of love!!!

Because yes, she totally knew, had known for years...

AND she kept that knowledge to herself!!!!

Because she'd seen Buck, the closet he was so lost inside in, and she loves Buck... So she wanted to be there for him.

And she knew that it's not easy to come to terms with one's queerness. That it can be tough and scary.

So she thought "What can I do to help? How can I do my best to support my queer brother?"...

And rolled up her sleeves. She researched this. She found out it's not helpful to press someone, that it's important to be patient. She looked up the experiences of queer people coming out. What is helpful! What isn't! She came up with a plan.

Yes, she totally did. I'm telling you, she fucking studied for this test. To make sure her reaction would be freaking perfect, and help Buck on this journey.

Because she did everything right. She realised that letting Buck know how obvious his bisexuality was to her... Might be detrimental to his well-being, and their relationship.

She understood that it wasn't important that she'd known.

That it wasn't her time to brag about how clever she was, to have seen this coming, but to be sensitive of this struggle, to respect this struggle.

So when the day finally came... She was surprised, yes, to realise Buck had been on a date with a man.

I mean, it came out of the blue, right? Buck had been so oblivious to his closet. She'd missed the moment Buck became aware of the closet, and immediately ran on a date.

She thought Buck was still in the dark, so him suddenly going on a date with a man never even entered her mind as an option.

Then she realised... OH. He IS there? He has figured this out. He's coming out to me, now?

Okay!!! Let's follow the game plan then.

Be sensitive. Don't act like you were totally expecting this day to come.

The identity of the date? That was the real surprise. I mean, just watch the previous scene in which Buck talks about Tommy and Eddie with her.

He does rant about Tommy, but c'mon... It's really Eddie's attention Buck craves.

It's basically a re-telling of Buck's love tangle with Veronica, Taylor and Albert. Buck told himself he wanted Veronica, and that's why it bothered him that Albert "broke the bro code".... In a towel! Except, the one who Buck wouldn't shut up about... Was Albert.

And Maddie sees that it's happening AGAIN. Wow... Her brother really has no idea WHO he is actually crushing on.

Okay, she thinks. Does not matter now! The coming out is the important part, so let's roll with it. Focus, Maddie! Get it right.

And she did. She was patient. She was supportive. She sae that Buck was trying to run from the topic of sexuality like it was a total nonevent that he'd been on a date with a man...

So she was like "Hey, let's just slow down a bit. Let's acknowledge this moment. I now know that you were on a date with a man. You don't need to continue this pronoun game.

Okay. Let's talk about it being a first date with a man, and what this step means to you. You can tell me."

Really, she was so lovely. She didn't gloat about already knowing, she didn't stress him out by being overly emotional - by acting like this was the biggest event to happen on Earth.

She calmed him down.

She made sure to let him know that this didn't scare her, or make her feel awkward.

That she wanted him to talk about this with her. That she was excited for him, and supportive, and wanted to know more, and that it was okay to date a man.

That she would want to know about Buck's relationships with men just like she'd wanted to know abour her relationships with women.

She let him know that she was there for him, ready to listen, and glad to hear he'd been on a date with a man.

That this didn't change a thing, that she would accept and welcome Buck's male partners just as she had always accepted the women he'd dated. The gender made no difference, she was fine with whoever Buck chose to date.

And she also made sure the mood didn't turn too heavy. She let him know that this was great news, something worth celebrating. That she was excited to see him enter this new chapter in his life, and experience new things.

And that she wanted to learn of it, she wanted him to share this new stuff, let her in his life. So tell me more about this hot pilot!

Jdjbdbdnndnd!!!

Really, she was fucking fantastic. This was such a lovely scene. I love Maddie, she's my favorite. I need a tissue, I'm crying.

Oh and also. It wasn't just great writing. The acting here just blew me away. I love them. So skilled, so lovely, so funny, so human. Brilliant, beautiful, both of them. Fucking impeccable.