#lot 4x08 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

twins-write · 1 month ago

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Half a Truth is Still a Lie

Pairing: Evan Buckley x Fem!Reader

Summary: Buck finally finds out about Y/N's feelings and asks her on a date... but is it a real date, or just a ploy to make Veronica jealous?

Based on 4x08, when Albert invites Buck to a double date with him and Veronica (he invites her instead of Taylor).

Warnings: None, just a bit angsty. Could be classified as hurt-comfort.

Notes: Finally posting again! I involved a lot of best friend Eddie as well... I couldn't resist. Hope you guys like this one <3

Word Count: 8.06k.

Author Signature: 🦋

The 118 pulled up to the scene they were called to, hopping out of the firetruck, but not taking any action as they watched a negotiator talk to the armed criminal who was pacing on top of the roof.

“And how did he manage to get up there?” Y/N asked with raised brows while Buck and Eddie chuckled next to her, the former shaking his head as he shrugged, “Guess he wanted to try and prevent himself from getting arrested.”

“Looks like he’s doing a good job.” Eddie commented, scoffing in slight disbelief as they stood next to the firetruck, watching the negotiator try his best to talk the criminal down.

“Oh, look- Taylor’s here.” Buck stated, pointing to the reporter that stood a good distance away from them, talking about the incident to the camera.

Y/N rolled her eyes, the girl having not liked the reporter since the day she met her, but for some reason, it seemed Buck had taken a slight liking to her- especially considering he had slept with her before.

That may be another reason Y/N didn’t like her all that much.

“While we sit here doing nothing, let me continue telling you about Veronica and how Albert-”

Eddie groaned, interrupting his friend, “This again?”

“What?” Buck asked in an offended tone while Y/N shook her head at him, “You’ve been talking about them the whole time we’ve been on shift. That’s six hours.”

“So?” Buck scoffed, “You guys are my friends, aren’t you supposed to listen to me rant?”

The girl next to him shrugged, “Yeah, technically, but you’ve been repeating the same thing over and over. We get it- you had a bad date, bad date girl happens to live on the same floor as you, your roommate took a liking to said bad date girl, and bam, you caught your roommate in her apartment in nothing but a towel.”

She then turned and looked at him with raised brows, “Does that sound about right?”

Eddie laughed while Buck sighed in slight defeat, “Yeah.”

“Why are you so mad about it anyways?” The girl asked him curiously, turning her attention back to the male who was pacing on the roof.

“What do you mean? You don’t think I have a right to be mad?” The blonde male questioned.

She shrugged, “I mean… from what you’ve been saying… you didn’t like her all that much. Why do you have a problem with Albert dating her?”

“It’s bro-code!” Buck argued, causing Y/N to turn to Eddie, “Eds, what do you think?”

Eddie raised his hands in mock surrender, “Oh no- do not bring me into this.”

Buck turned to him quickly, “What? Traitor!”

“I didn’t agree or disagree with you!” Eddie replied in slight disbelief that his friend was now annoyed with him.

“Fine. Whatever. I’ll go talk to someone who will listen to me.” Buck said before walking in Taylor’s direction, causing Y/N to scoff, rolling her eyes as she yelled after him, “We have been listening to you for the past six hours!”

Buck didn’t reply nor turn around, only continuing on his path to talk to the red-head, which Y/N realized- releasing a sigh as she watched him begin to converse with her.

Eddie gave her a knowing look, causing the girl to look at him with furrowed brows, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Looking at you like what?” He asked, giving her the same look- the one that implied that he knew something.

She pointed at his face, “Like that!”

He pursed his lips, giving her a small shrug, “I don’t know, just seems like you’re jealous of a certain someone.”

Then he glanced at Taylor, causing Y/N to follow his gaze. She laughed, “You’re joking, right?”

Eddie raised his brows, “No.”

“I’m not jealous of Taylor- of all people.” Y/N told him, annoyance covering her tone.

Eddie looked away from her, mumbling something under his breath.

The girl looked at him and spoke sarcastically, “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

He repeated himself so she could actually hear him this time, “Maybe you’re just jealous that Buck is giving her attention because you see him as more than a friend and he doesn’t realize it.”

“I-” She began, only to stop talking, knowing he was right. The girl sighed, leaning her back against the fire engine, allowing her head to thunk into the side, “You’re right.”

“I know.” Eddie chuckled, leaning next to her and patting her shoulder gently, “You should just tell him.”

“And, what? Make every shift awkward? No thanks.” She said, shaking her head at his suggestion.

“I don’t think that’s how it’d turn out, but okay.” The Diaz male shrugged, deciding to drop the conversation as they walked closer to the rest of their team- minus Buck.

Her and Eddie stood to the left side of Hen, who was sitting down on the side of the fire engine, Chimney and Bobby standing to Hen’s right.

The group sat quietly, listening to the criminal yell while he walked around the roof, “You shut up! You’re a liar! You said you’d help me find a way out.”

“I didn’t mean with a helicopter.” The negotiator quickly replied, gaining a shout from the criminal, “Shut up! I need to think!”

“Eh… should’ve tried thinking before he ended up on a roof.” Eddie stated, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning against the side of the engine again, “I mean, he cornered himself.”

“That there is a whole series of bad life choices culminating in this one unfortunate moment. It’d be tragic if it wasn’t so moronic.” Hen replied.

“Why don’t they just storm the roof?” Chimney questioned, “It’s not that high. We can give ‘em a ladder.”

Bobby shrugged, “It’s a tactic negotiators use to drag out the process in order to wear down the suspect. Eventually they hit a breaking point.”

“Or we do.” Chimney said in response.

“Yeah, you got that right.” Y/N scoffed, shaking her head and looking at Bobby, “Shouldn’t we set an airbag below the roof or something incase he falls?”

He shook his head, “We don’t want to make him think we’re going to push him off or anything. He might just panic if we start setting it up.”

The girl shrugged, “I mean, it’s just a safety precaution, we could tell him that.”

“I don’t think someone pacing on a roof with a gun is going to be thinking rationally, though.” Eddie told her, nudging her in the shoulder as she nodded in agreement to his statement.

“Ten bucks says he falls right off that roof.” Hen muttered, causing Y/N to laugh as Eddie pulled money from his pocket, “20 says he makes a leap for the tree.”

As Bobby looked over to Eddie in slight disbelief, the male replied, “Come on, the guy’s got at least one more bad life choice left in him.”

Y/N looked to the side and noticed how irritated the homeowner looked, the girl smirking as she pulled a bill out of her pocket, “50 says the homeowner pushes him off.”

“That’s morbid.” Hen chuckled with raised brows, causing Y/N to shrug with a grin.

Y/N, Eddie, and Chim handed Hen money, the woman taking it and pocketing it as they stood, continuing to watch the situation.

After a few moments, Y/N’s eyes trailed over to where Buck was standing, leaning against the railing as Taylor reported to the camera- the male waiting for her to be done.

She shook her head with a sigh, “I need coffee.”

Bobby looked at her with raised brows, “Want to make a coffee run?”

“Am I okay to do that?” She asked her captain, the male shrugging, “I don’t see why not.”

“What am I going to drive, though?” The girl then questioned, knowing she couldn’t take the fire engine or ambulance in case something happened while she was gone.

Her captain hummed in thought as Hen chimed in, “You could always ask Athena if you could borrow a cop car.”

Y/N laughed, “There’s no way I’m allowed to drive one.”

“Then ask for an escort.” Eddie suggested, causing her to nod, “Okay. I’ll be back.”

The girl walked towards Athena, who just so happened to be near Buck and Taylor- Y/N noticing that Taylor was off air at the moment because her and the male were talking.

“Athena!” Y/N yelled, causing the sergeant to turn towards her, “Do you think it’s possible I could get an escort to a coffee shop?”

“As long as you’re getting coffee, I can get someone to take you.” She replied with a laugh.

Y/N smiled as Athena walked away to grab someone, the girl taking this opportunity to go ask her other friend if he wanted any.

“Buck.” She shouted as she got closer, her voice drawing not only Buck’s attention, but Taylor’s also.

“I’m going on a coffee run, do you want anything?” She asked, causing him to nod, “Coffee sounds amazing right now.”

“Your usual?”

Buck nodded with a smile and then turned to Taylor, “What do you want?”

Instead of replying directly to him, Taylor turned to Y/N and stated her order, the latter trying to make sure her distaste didn’t show on her face as the former spoke.

Once Taylor was done speaking, Y/N gave them a thumbs up, Buck shouting a quick thank you as she walked away, rolling her eyes once she had turned away from the duo.

Eddie chuckled from a distance, having watched her interaction and her reaction as she walked away, drawing the attention of the group next to him.

“What’s so funny?” Hen asked, causing Eddie to shake his head as he smiled, “Nothing.”

Two hours in

Y/N returned from the coffee run about an hour and a half ago, having gotten her team their specific orders- along with Athena and Taylor’s- and then having gotten a bunch of other plain ones for the first responders that she hadn’t asked. Even though they weren’t their specific orders, she figured the least she could do was bring them some. She also brought sugar packets and more for them to put additives in their coffees if they wanted to.

Her coffee was gone now, though, along with her teams’, and she sat in the back of the ambulance playing cards with Hen and Chimney as the latter talked about the upcoming birth of his child.

“So Maddie really wants to have this baby at home?” Hen asked him as she placed a card into the pile, Chimney’s turn coming up as he replied, quoting what the mother of his baby had told him, “‘I was a nurse, you’re a paramedic, what could possibly go wrong?’”

The duo with him chuckled as Y/N took her turn, Hen replying to him, “Feels like a 911 dispatcher should know the answer to that question.”

They all laughed at that, Y/N chiming into the conversation, “I think you just need to tell her how you’re feeling. I’m sure she’ll understand your point of view.”

Chimney shrugged, “With all the pregnancy hormones, I’m not so sure.”

Eddie walked over to them, peeking around the edge of the ambulance so that he could see all three of them, “How would you guys feel about pizza?”

“Please!” They all replied in unison.

Three hours in

“I’m so hungry!” Y/N whined, laying her head on Eddie’s shoulder, the male laughing as he wrapped his arm around her and shook her slightly, “He should be here soon. They mentioned that they had a lot of orders, so it would take a while.”

“It’s been an hour!” She replied as Eddie looked towards the edge of the scene where a pizza man was walking in. He pursed his lips, “I think you might’ve summoned him.”

Then he walked off towards the male, Y/N cheering as her stomach growled, “Finally!”

“Good lord. How much trust are we trying to build here?” Athena asked, causing Eddie to turn to her, “Actually, that’s for us.”

“Why does everybody get to eat but me? Maybe I’m hungry too!” Mr. Nowels, the homeowner, complained, causing Y/N to shrug as she walked closer, “You want a slice?”

Mr. Nowels sighed, having only been trying to make a point, and walked away. Y/N shrugged as Eddie paid the delivery man, the girl grabbing the hot bag and pulling the two boxes out with a grin, “I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited to stuff my face with a slice of pizza.”

Eddie chuckled as she handed the bag back to the delivery driver and waved before he walked off, the duo turning and walking back towards the truck.

“Me either, Y/N. Me either.” Eddie replied.

Four hours in

Y/N looked to the side and noticed one of the police officers leaning against the fire engine as Buck talked to him, the girl laughing and shaking her head as she walked closer.

“Is he bothering you, sir?” She asked the officer, causing Buck to glance at her with a deadpanned expression.

The officer shook his head, “He’s telling me how his roommate violated ‘bro code’, whatever that is. I don’t think that’s a real thing.”

Y/N looked at Buck with raised brows and a grin as the male sighed and then spoke, trying to defend his point, “How do you know, though? It’s unwritten.”

“How long did you date this woman?” The officer asked him. Y/N crossed her arms with a smirk on her face, watching the interaction as Buck replied, “90 minutes, maybe less. We took dessert to go.”

A watch began beeping, the officer glancing at his wrist, “And I’m done. Good luck.”

Then he walked away, Y/N letting out a low whistle before she began laughing. Buck glared at her, “Shut up!”

Then he took his mask off, throwing it at her, which only made the girl laugh more.

Five hours in

Eddie quietly began chanting under his breath, leaning against the firetruck as he whispered, “Jump. Jump.”

The rest of the team, except for Buck who wasn’t with them, quickly joined in as they watched the criminal continue to pace on the roof, “Jump. Jump.”

Six hours in

Y/N sat quietly by herself, Buck with Tayor, Eddie with Athena and Bobby, and then Hen and Chim with each other.

The girl quietly picked at her nails as she waited for something to happen so that they could finally leave this scene.

She heard footsteps, but decided to ignore them, until they came to a stop in front of her. The girl looked up from her hands, looking at the officer who had come up to her.

“What’s a pretty firefighter like you doing all by herself?” He flirted, causing the girl to raise her brows before smiling, “Waiting for this guy to be done pacing on the roof so we can leave.”

“Yeah, I feel you.” He agreed, sitting next to her on the asphalt.

He then looked at her, holding his hand out with a grin, “I’m Anthony, but people always call me Mac because my last name is Macallister.”

“Well, Mac, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.” She smiled, shaking his hand.

Mac looked over her shoulder for a second, furrowing his brows before bringing his attention back to her, “That blonde firefighter keeps starring at us.”

“Hm?” Y/N hummed before Mac pointed and she turned, making eye contact with Buck, who quickly looked away and continued his conversation with Taylor.

The girl shrugged, “He’s probably just wondering who you are.”

“Yeah, I think he may be a little jealous.” The officer laughed, giving her a knowing look with a smile. Y/N furrowed her brows, shaking her head, “Nah, he doesn’t think of me in that way.”

“You sure?” Mac questioned with raised brows, causing the girl to nod, which prompted another question, “But you like him, right?”

“Is it really that obvious?” She asked with a sigh, causing him to laugh, “Well, I’ve been watching you a bit today- not to sound creepy or anything- and I’ve noticed the stares you give him when he’s talking to that redhead. I just don’t think you realize that he stares at you also.”

Y/N looked at Mac with a small smile, “Yeah, I-”

The girl got interrupted by a loud crash, a car alarm going off. She quickly stood up, looking over towards the criminal and running over there- noticing Mr. Nowels had just pushed him off the room. Internally, she was cheering, knowing she just won the bet, but externally, she began to do her job.

She ignored Mr. Nowels, who was yelling, and ran over to the criminal, Eddie quickly coming over to assist.

They got to work on safely getting him off the car, putting a neck splint on just in case he had a spinal injury before putting him on a backboard and attending to some of his cuts. Hen and Chimney hopped into the back of the ambulance while Eddie went to the front, the rest of the team getting into the fire engine- the ambulance turning on their sirens. Athena followed in her cop car so that she could make sure he was arrested after he got his medical care.

The fire engine drove to the station while the ambulance and police car went to the hospital. Y/N sat in the back of the engine while Bobby drove and Buck sat in the passenger seat.

The latter turned around and looked at the girl, “So, who was that guy you were flirting with?”

Y/N furrowed her brows, “What guy? I wasn’t flirting with anyone.”

“The cop.” Buck elaborated, the girl shaking her head, “Yeah, we were just talking.”

“It looked like more than that.” Buck argued, “What’s his name?”

“You know what? Why does this matter to you?” She spat out, becoming annoyed with his attitude as they pulled into the firestation.

“Because, I…” He began, trailing off and not allowing his next words to come out.

Y/N scoffed, “Unbelieveable.”

And then she rushed out of the engine, missing the look that Bobby gave the blonde male as she went to her locker.

“Idiot.” The older male mumbled to the younger one, causing him to stare at Bobby in disbelief before they both got out of the vehicle.

Y/N angrily got her casual clothes out of her locker, changing and then slamming the metal door shut as Buck walked in.

“Look, Y/N, I just care about you and want you to be safe.” He said as he walked into the glass area.

“Want me to be safe?” She scoffed, “You’re talking about a cop.”

The blonde rolled his eyes, “That doesn’t mean anything. He could still be a jerk!”

“Well, he’s not the one I think is a jerk.” The girl retorted, glaring at him.

“Ok… I deserve that, but-” He began to say, only for her to interrupt him, “Buck, just stop. Why are you so bent out of shape about this anyways? You were flirting with Taylor the whole day and I didn’t complain to you about it even though it annoyed me! So why do you get to complain to me about someone, who wasn’t even flirting with me, giving me attention?”

“Wait- I wasn’t flirting with Taylor.” Buck stated, causing her to look at him, “What?”

“You said you were annoyed with me flirting with Taylor… I- I wasn’t flirting with her. I was just talking to her about the Albert and Veronica stuff because you and Eddie made it clear you didn’t want me to talk to you about it.” He told her.

The girl sighed, “Yeah, I’m sorry. I might’ve been too harsh about that.”

He shook his head, “No, I deserved it. You guys had to listen to me repeat myself multiple times and… I get what you were saying. I’m going to try and be less awkward with Albert about this.”

She smiled and nodded, “Good.”

“And… I’m sorry for bugging you about the cop guy.” He apologized, gaining a nod from Y/N as she grinned, “I appreciate the apology. I know your heart is in a good place, you just didn’t approach it very well.”

He nodded before they went silent, the male thinking about his next sentence while Y/N gathered her stuff, glancing at the entrance of the fire station and noticing the ambulance was pulling in.

“I gotta go talk to Chim, Eddie, and Hen about something, but I’ll see you tomorrow.” The girl smiled, beginning to walk out, but Buck quickly stopped her, “Wait.”

She turned around, raising her brows as an indicator for him to speak, “Why… why were you annoyed when you thought I was flirting with Taylor?”

Y/N just shook her head with a sigh, looking up and waving, not giving him an answer, “Bye, Buck.”

And then she walked out, the male watching her as she walked towards the ambulance.

The girl figured that he could think about it on his own and hopefully come to the correct conclusion.

The three that Y/N had mentioned earlier hopped out of the ambulance, the girl stopping in front of them and holding out her hands.

The trio looked at her with raised brows, and she quickly spoke to ease their confusion, “I won the bet. Mr. Nowels pushed him off the roof. Money, please!”

Then she made grabbing motion with her hands while the three in front of her laughed, Eddie speaking up, “I can’t believe you were right about that.”

Then the money was slammed into her palm from them, the girl grinning, “Thank you all and have a good night!”

She mock-saluted them before turning and walking out of the fire station.

The next day, Y/N walked into the fire station with a smile, ready for her shift for the day.

The girl went to her locker, changing out of her casual clothes and into her fire station shirt along with her turnout pants, putting her gear suspenders over her shoulders.

“Hey, Y/N.” She heard a voice greet, the girl turning and sending a smile Buck’s way as he went to his locker, “Hey.”

“So, I’ve been thinking.” He stated, causing the girl to jokingly reply, “Oh no.”

He looked up at her with a small, joking, glare before continuing his sentence, “I think I figured out why you were annoyed.”

Y/N crossed her arms, leaning against the lockers, “Well, let’s hear it.”

“It’s because you were jealous.” He smirked, pointing at her before opening his locker and getting his stuff out.

The girl stood, waiting for him to continue. She pursed her lips as he said nothing else and she shrugged, “That’s it?”

He shook his head, “No. You were jealous because you… like me.”

“Yeah. Apparently I’ve been pretty obvious about it, so I’m a bit surprised you just figured this out.” She said as Eddie walked in, “Actually, he didn’t. I told him.”

The girl looked at him with a dropped jaw, “What?”

And then she glanced back at Buck, who was sending a glare Eddie’s way before he quickly directed his attention back to the girl, “Anyways, with that said, are you doing anything later tonight?”

Y/N tilted her head, raising her brows, “No… why?”

“How about you come to my apartment? I can cook us dinner and we can watch a movie?” He suggested.

The girl grinned, “Is the Evan Buckley asking me out on a date?”

“Maybe. Depends on if you say yes or not.” He said with a small smile. The girl laughed and nodded, “Yes, that sounds great.”

“Finally.” Eddie muttered from behind them, having already changed into his clothes for the work day.

The duo that was just talking both rolled their eyes and turned to their friend, speaking in unison, “Shut up, Eddie.”

Eddie was about to speak before the siren went off, causing them to sigh, Hen peeking her head into the room, “Come on, slowpokes. Let’s go.”

The call rang out through the firestation, informing the group that they were on their way to a house to look for someone inside the walls.

This meant they needed both the ambulance and the fire engine, so Hen and Chimney took the former while the rest of them piled into the latter.

Eddie and Bobby were in the front while Buck and Y/N were in the back, ready to head to the scene. Eddie turned around and faced his friends as Bobby drove, “So… what movie are you two planning on watching later?”

Y/N rolled her eyes as he wiggled his brows at them, Bobby furrowing his brows in confusion at the interaction while Buck replied, “I’m not sure yet.”

Then he turned to Y/N, “What movies do you like?”

The girl shrugged with pursed lips, “Pretty much anything. I’m a huge horror and comedy fan, though.”

He nodded with a grin while Bobby looked in the rearview mirror, “What’s this for?”

Before the two in the back could reply, Eddie did for them, “Oh, Buck finally asked Y/N out on a date. They’re gonna hang in his apartment and watch a movie.”

Bobby’s brows raised in slight surprise at the information before grinning, “Finally.”

The duos’ jaws dropped, the two replying in unison, “Really?”

Eddie just laughed while Bobby spoke, “Yeah, It’s about time. I can see the way you two look at each other. It was pretty obvious.”

“Okay, no, I might’ve been obvious, but this guy was not!” Y/N argued, pointing at Buck who just shrugged in response.

“Yes, he was. I just think you’re both oblivious.” Bobby said as they pulled into the driveway of the house they were going to enter.

“Hey!” The two shouted at their captain, taking offense to his words. Bobby quickly hopped out of the fire engine, wanting to avoid more words from the duo as they both glanced at each other with shocked looks on their faces, Eddie chuckling as he got out of the passenger door.

Buck stood up and went out, holding a hand for the girl behind him. Y/N gratefully took his hand, hopping down from the engine in her turnouts.

The group all put their masks on as Bobby shouted, “Buck, grab the saw, the rest of you, head inside.”

The members of the 118 obeyed their captain, except for Buck who was doing as he was told, quickly following behind him as he grabbed a heat signature camera.

They made their way inside and Athena heard them, shouting to alert them of the room she was in. They team walked into the room, noticing the wife was sat in a chair, hands cuffed behind her back with an officer standing behind her as Buck jogged into the room with the large tool in his hand.

“Kinky.” Y/N muttered jokingly, the group looking at her with deadpanned expressions at her words while the wife scoffed.

“What?” The girl asked, Bobby rolling his eyes before turning to his wife and pulling out the heat signature camera, turning it on and scanning the walls by the window.

He looked through the lens, noticing a figure on the screen that was moving, “I’ve got movement.”

“What?” The wife behind them questioned, causing the group to turn towards her, “He’s still alive?”

Once she noticed their expressions, she was quick to change up her words, “I mean… great!”

“Why don’t you start by telling me how exactly your husband got behind that wall?” Athena asked with raised brows.

“Ex-husband. Or at least, soon to be. He filed right before the pandemic-” The wife began to explain, talking about how the courts closed and they were trapped in a house together during COVID.

Buck raised his brows, leaning in towards Y/N, “If this date doesn’t go the way you expect, do you promise to not put me inside the walls?”

The girl shrugged with a smirk, “No promises.”

Buck turned to Hen, “You heard that right? You’re my witness if something happens to me.”

The woman turned away from him, pursing her lips and feigning confusion, “What did I hear? I didn’t hear anything.”

Y/N grinned, holding up a fist for Hen to fist bump, which she did. Buck’s jaw dropped in disbelief, “Wow.”

After the woman finished explaining her story, Chimney and Hen ran to get their medical supplies while Eddie went and grabbed the needed items to get behind the brick wall.

Once they returned, Eddie handed Buck the chisel and a hammer, giving one to Bobby as well. The duo quickly began hammering away at the bricks in their weak spots, waiting for when they were loose to pull them away. Slowly, a hole began to form in the wall, Bobby yanking the bricks from their position and dropping them onto the ground behind him, “I think I can see him!”

Once the hole was big enough, Y/N knelt down and reached her hand towards the male, “Can you give me your hand, sir?”

She grabbed his wrist as he reached towards her, the girl gently beginning to pull him out, Buck coming to assist her. “You got him, Buck?” She asked as he reached and grabbed the male’s other hand.

“Yeah, we’re good.” He replied, the girl nodding, “Okay, ready, set-”

“Go.” She then said, both of them tugging him through the hole and onto the backboard.

Y/N was quick to put on medical gloves while Eddie began checking for a pulse and if the male was breathing or not with his stethoscope, “He’s breathing, but barely. Only one side of his chest is rising.”

Y/N reached under the male before pulling her gloved hand back, showing the blood on it, “Stab wound.”

Eddie nodded, “He probably has a punctured lung.”

“Looks like he lost a ton of blood, not to mention extreme dehydration.” Hen said, getting the bag from her medkit, “I’m gonna run two lines wide open.”

“Alright, let’s get him stabilized and prepped for transport.” Bobby ordered, watching over the group as they did what was necessary.

Once they were done, Chimney and Eddie lifted the backboard and began to walk out of the house, Y/N noticing that the other officer that was there had taken the wife away.

The rest of the group began gathering their other tools before returning to the fire engine and putting everything away, the ambulance heading to the hospital while the engine went back to the station.

Once the shift was over, Y/N headed to her locker, doing her quick routine of getting back into her casual clothes so that she could leave.

Buck walked in and smiled at her, the girl giving him a grin back as she put her work necessities in her locker, “So… what time should I get to your place?”

“How does 7 sound?” He asked her, opening his locker and taking his shirt off so that he could change.

The girl’s eyes trailed down before she heard Buck laugh, Y/N quickly bringing her gaze up and noticing that he had caught her. She cleared her throat, “7 sounds great.”

“Great.” He grinned, finishing what he needed to do. He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before sending a wink her way and walking out the door, “See you then!”

Y/N’s cheeks turned red as Hen walked into the locker room and spotted the girl standing there, looking dazed. “Someone’s blushing.” The woman stated with a cheeky smirk.

Y/N threw her dirty shirt at Hen in response, causing the woman to laugh and throw it back at her before the former walked out of the locker room with her keys in hand, going to her apartment to prepare for her date.

Y/N took the elevator up to Buck’s floor, the girl wearing a dark blue dress that reached her mid-thigh, a black sweater wrapped around her shoulders. She slung her small purse over her shoulder as the elevator reached his floor, Y/N quickly stepping out in her black heels and walking to his door.

Once she reached his apartment, she lifted her hand, knocking on the dark wood and waiting for Buck to answer the door.

Instead of Buck, though, his roommate answered, Y/N smiling at him, “Hey, Albert, what’s up?”

“Nothing much. Buck didn’t mention that you were the one he was dating.” Albert commented, “He’s in the bathroom right now.”

The girl nodded, walking into the door as he stepped to the side, “It’s been a while since i’ve seen you. It’s nice to see…”

She trailed off as her eyes met with the girl in the kitchen, her brows furrowing in confusion.

Buck stepped into the room as Albert introduced the woman, noticing Y/N’s confusion, “Oh, that’s Veronica.”

“Well it’s nice to see you and Veronica, Albert.” Y/N muttered with a clenched jaw, making eye contact with Buck as he gave her a sheepish glance.

“Dinner’s not ready yet, but it should be soon.” Buck told his date, trying to act normal as the girl made eye contact with Albert’s girlfriend once more.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” Veronica asked with a smile, Y/N quickly nodding, “Yes, please. I could desperately use a glass right about now.”

Then the girl placed her bag on the table as Buck came over, placing a hand on the small of her back, “Uh.. shall we?”

He gestured over to the couch, Y/N moving so that his hand slipped off of her as she made her way to the piece of furniture.

“You lied to me.” She muttered as he followed, the male shaking his head, “Technically… I didn’t. I-”

She stopped walking, turning and facing him with an angry glare, her eyes growing watery but she wouldn’t dare to let her tears fall- at least not right now, “That’s not the point, Evan. You failed to mention that this was going to be a double date with ‘bad date girl’ and your roommate. I kind of count that as lying.”

The girl then continued making her way to the couch, muttering under her breath as she took a seat, “I wouldn’t have said yes if I knew you were just going to be using me.”

Buck looked at her like a deer in headlights, opening his mouth to speak but not getting the chance to spit a word out as Veronica and Albert walked back over, the former speaking as she handed Y/N her wine glass, “Dinner is going to take a few more minutes, but I figured we could do appetizers while we wait.”

She then sat down, Y/N quickly taking a sip out of her glass as Veronica spoke up once more, “How long have you two been dating?”

“I was wondering that too, Buck. How come you never said anything? Y/N’s awesome!” Albert chimed in, Y/N immediately giving him a response before Buck could speak, “Oh, that’s because we aren’t dating. He just wanted me here so he wouldn’t be a third wheel. We’re just friends.”

She then looked at the male next to her, “Right?”

Evan avoided her question, looking at Veronica as he began to talk, “We actually work together. She’s been my partner-in-crime for as long as I can remember.”

“I’d gladly let Eddie take that spot now.” The girl murmured quietly before looking up and smiling at the duo in front of her, “And I know how you two met. Buck has told me about it. Quite a few times, actually.”

The male beside her shook his head, “I- I wouldn’t say that-”

Veronica just looked at them with raised brows as Albert chimed in, gesturing to his girlfriend and his roommate, “I’m actually surprised you two didn’t get along.”

Y/N took a long gulp from her glass before nodding, and nudging Buck with her shoulder, “Yeah. This guy sometimes doesn’t know how to act around women. His ego deflates when someone doesn’t immediately like him.”

“Yeah, I don’t stroke anyones’ egos. That’s not my thing.” Veronica replied with a small shrug, causing Y/N to nod, “Good for you. I think I’m going to try that also.”

She then set the glass down, pulling her phone out from her sweater pocket as her tears were about to spill over. Y/N cleared her throat, standing up as she lied, “Sorry, my coworker, Eddie, just texted me. It’s an emergency and he needs someone to watch his son last minute. I gotta go.”

The girl then pocketed her phone once more, smiling at the pair in front of her, “It was nice seeing you again, Albert- and it was nice meeting you, Veronica.”

“You too.” She heard them say from behind her as she rushed to grab her purse, opening the apartment door and wiping her eyes as she began to walk towards the elevator.

“Y/N- Y/N, wait!” Buck yelled from behind her, the girl listening as his footsteps sped down the hallway, “I know Eddie didn’t actually text you, okay? It’s not what you think!”

She turned, looking up at the ceiling to prevent the water from spilling from her eyes and once she felt that it wouldn’t, she looked back down at him, “What? That you never actually wanted to go on a date with me and that you were just using my feelings for you to get them to see you with someone? Fuck you.”

Then the girl turned back around, Buck quickly grabbing onto her wrist and turning her back towards him, “No- it’s not like that-”

Y/N yanked her wrist from his grasp, “Don’t- Don’t touch me. You… God, I mean, you decided to hurt me just because you can’t stand the idea of someone not liking you? Are you serious?”

“No, that’s- I mean…” He shrugged with a false smile, “Come on, I’m very likeable.”

The girl stood there in silence, swallowing the lump in her throat as a tear finally made it’s way down her face. Buck sighed, glancing off to the side before making eye contact with her, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay? Look, Albert invited me over and I knew it was gonna be super awkward, and I didn’t want to sit through that alone. So I asked a friend.”

Y/N gave him a watery smile, “Right. A friend. ‘Cause that’s all I am to you.”

She sniffled as Buck’s heart dropped, the girl wiping her tears before speaking once more, “You could’ve just told me the situation and then asked me as a friend. You didn’t have to lie about having feelings for me.”

A scoff left her lips, the girl continuing, “I mean… If this is how you decide to treat your ‘friends’, maybe the problem isn’t Albert.”

Her eyes met his, “Maybe it’s you.”

Then she turned, walking away from him, hoping he’d say something as she left…

But he said nothing.

So she continued on her way, getting into the elevator and letting the doors close before her tears began to run down her face at a faster pace.

Y/N pulled out her phone as the elevator doors opened to the lobby, the girl pulling up Eddie’s contact, about to hit the call button- but her phone rang before she could.

She raised her brows as she noticed it was the man she was about to call, Y/N hitting answer and bringing the phone to her ear, “Hey, I was just about to-”

He cut her off as he began speaking in a panicked tone, “I need your help, Chris is missing and-”

Her jaw dropped at the words, the girl turning and making her way towards the building exit, but she quickly stopped in her tracks as Chris walked through the lobby doors.

Eddie was still rambling on the other side of the line, Y/N cutting him off so that she could let him know his son was safe, “Eddie, he’s here.”

“At Buck’s place?” He asked on the other side of the line, Y/N nodding even though he couldn’t see her as she replied, “Yeah. He’s here.”

“Okay, I’ll be there to get him soon.”

And then he hung up, Y/N wiping her face before she walked towards the kid who was making his way towards the elevators, “Chris, what are you doing here?”

“I had a fight with my dad. I came here to see Buck.” He informed her, the girl nodding and hitting the up button to the elevator, “Okay, I’ll take you up to him. You can’t run off like this though, your dad is worried sick.”

“Did you talk to him?” The kid asked her, glancing up as they entered the elevator. She nodded, “Yeah, he called me just as you walked in. He’s coming to get you. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He sighed, the adult next to him humming in acknowledgement as they reached Buck’s floor, the duo leaving the elevator and walking to his apartment.

Chris knocked on the door, the girl next to him beginning to walk away, but the kid turned to her, “Wait, where are you going?”

She sighed, “Buck and I aren’t really on good terms right now, buddy. I just wanted to make sure you got here safe.”

Buck opened the door as Chris replied, “I want you to stay.”

“Want who to st-” The older male began to ask before he peeked out of the door and noticed who he was talking about, “-oh.”

“Fine.” The woman muttered, walking into the apartment behind Chris, noticing that Albert and Veronica were now gone and it was just them three in the living space.

“Does your dad know you’re here, Chris?” The male asked the child, who was quick to respond, “Yes, he called Y/N.”

Buck then looked at the girl for confirmation, her nodding in response, “He called me as I was leaving to ask for help finding Chris, but he was walking into the building. Eddie is on his way to pick him up.”

He pursed his lips and then looked at Chris as the said kid sat on the couch, “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Chris shook his head as Buck sat on the table, Y/N leaning against the wall near the TV, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well, you’re here, so we gotta talk about something.” He said to the child, using a gentle tone with him. Once Chris didn’t reply, Buck sighed, speaking once more, “Come on, look, you were there for me when I needed to talk, so now I want to be here for you. It’s what friends do.”

Y/N scoffed under her breath at that, the action not going unnoticed by Buck as Chris replied, “Dad’s dating.”

The girl gave him a sympathetic look as Buck continued to interact with the boy, “Yeah, that’s gotta be weird for you, huh? Maybe it feels like he’s forgetting your mom, but, Chris, I promise you-”

Chris sighed, interrupting the male, “I wish I could forget.”

Y/N pushed off the wall at that and moved closer, sitting on the table next to Buck and talking to Chris, “What do you mean by that, bud?”

“People go away. Not just mom.” He stated sadly, “Abuelita, Carla, my friends… they leave, and then I miss them. I don’t want to miss anyone else.”

The adults in front of him nodded in acknowledgement, sad looks on their faces as Buck spoke again, “Yeah, um… people- people go away… and i-it’s sad, and it hurts. But, you know, not everyone goes away for forever. Sometimes they come back, and as much as we miss them, that’s how happy we are seeing them again. Your grandma, your friends, Carla… you’re gonna see them all again.”

“Do you promise?” Chris asked.

“I do. And until that happens, you still got us.” Buck replied, gesturing to him and the girl next to him, Y/N sending a small smile Chris’ way and nodding in agreement as she spoke, “We aren’t going anywhere.”

Chris got up, opening his arms and pulling the two adults into a hug. One of Buck’s arms wrapped around Chris while the other wound around Y/N, the young boy’s head in between both of theirs.

“You guys are good friends.” The kid said to them, his arms hanging around their shoulders.

Buck glanced at Y/N over Chris’ back and spoke, “Yeah… sometimes.”

He then patted his back and pulled away, Y/N giving Chris one last final squeeze before doing the same, a knock coming on the door soon after.

All of them stood up, Buck going to the door and opening it, Eddie quickly rushing in.

Once his eyes locked on Chris, he moved forwards, encasing his son in a hug and muttering to him, “Don’t run away like that again, okay? You can’t scare me like that.”

Chris nodded into his shoulder, “I’m sorry, dad.”

“It’s okay, bud.” He replied, pulling away from the hug and standing up, “Let’s go home, okay?”

The kid nodded and Y/N smiled at the duo before looking at the younger boy, “Tell him what you told us. He’ll understand.”

Chris nodded once more, grabbing his crutches and making his way towards the door while Eddie looked at his friends, “Thank you guys.”

And then they went to walk out, Eddie turning around and speaking once again, “You’ll have to let me know how the date went later, okay?”

Y/N pursed her lips while Buck sent a smile his way, the door closing behind the father-son duo.

“Well, I’m gonna go also.” The girl then said, pulling her sweater closer to her frame in an attempt to close herself off as she began to walk towards the door.

“Or… you could stay? And we can try this again?” The male spoke, stepping in front of her in an attempt to stop her from leaving.

She sighed, “Look, you don’t have to pretend to have feelings for me just because you-”

He was quick to cut her off, “It’s not pretend. I’m sorry for making it seem like it was, and I’m sorry for earlier. I do have feelings for you and I should’ve asked you out on a first date a long time ago. I know I messed up tonight, but let me try to make it right, okay? With just us two. If you still hate me later, you never have to talk to me again. I’ll transfer firehouses and be out of your sight for forever.”

Y/N huffed, setting her purse down on the table, “Fine, and even if I hate you by the end of this, which is impossible because I could never hate you- even after what happened earlier, I’d never make you do that. I know how much the 118 means to you.”

He just smiled at her and nodded, one of his hands grabbing her own, “So? What do you want to eat?”

He dragged her to the kitchen, opening the pantry and showing her the stuff he had and giving her an idea of what could be made.

She pursed her lips, “How about we just have some takeout delivered? And watch a movie like we were talking about earlier today?”

Buck squeezed her hand, “Sounds perfect.”

Then he kissed her cheek before making a call to her favorite takeout place while she picked the movie they would watch.

She didn’t notice, but Buck watched as she sat on his couch, making herself at home while she picked the movie.

And he couldn’t help but think how nice this sight would be to see everyday.

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #chris diaz #9 1 1 #evan buckley x reader #9 1 1 fanfiction #buck #firefighter

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raayllum · 1 month ago

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Is there like‚ some kind of symbolism of Claudia fixing Callum's hair VS Rayla lovely touching it?

There's probably a whole mini meta just waiting in TDP about hair (how Soren parts his hair switching post-timeskip to reflect how he's literally switched sides; Claudia's moon symbolism hair, which I do have a meta for in my drafts rn) so to put it simply: yes, I think so!

Claudia cares a lot about appearances. This ties into how much she hates feeling judged ("you're doing it again prince judy-face!" / "here to judge me, captain true heart?"). She values things looking put together, largely because she puts more emphasis on things being Physically okay rather than considering someone's emotional state (i.e. overruling Viren and Soren in S2 and S4 respectively). We see this overtly in "Lost Child":

“You’re still here. Even though I’m…” She gestured at herself, to something beyond the soil-soaked boots and tearstained face: a total mess. [...] A moment later, she blinked into the pond; her reflection beamed up at her. Her eyes brighter, her face fuller, more color in her cheeks. Small changes, but still—There I am, she thought.

We also see this in show canon. She checks with the little leaf-cub creature in 6x04 that her new haircut suits her. She also reflects that maybe seeing the creature as parts is bad, implicitly, because the creature is so cute/adorable. (This is in stark contrast to Ezran who reflects a season earlier in 5x06 that sea slugs may look gross, but they have a rich inner life and he's regularly made friends with them. Post with that comparison here)

Another consistent facet of Claudia is that her compliments are sometimes not entirely compliments. This happens just once with Terry ("Claudia says that makes me weird, and wonderful, so...") as she more readily compliments him ("you saved the day!" / "goofy and glorious just like you!"), but it happens basically any of the few times she compliments/offers praise etc. to Callum in any manner.

It was completely ridiculous. Adorable. Did you just say adorable? Did I? (1x02)

That was very confident Callum. Oh, thanks. Even if your hair's a little messy. (2x02)

You didn't open it? Why would I do that? [The letter] is for you. Though I could've easily opened it and then resealed it with magic. Did you? Did I? We may never know. But no. No.

Yeah, you always were a very clever human, weren't you, Callum? (4x08)

Impressive, Callum. Somehow you learned primal magic. But dark magic will always have the edge. (7x07)

(AKA she giveth and she taketh away.)

So Claudia fixes Callum's hair. She compliments him, but also makes him more nervous. She adjusts his appearance to something she thinks is 'better' (cleaner). Absolutely none of it is malicious, but it does reaffirm that when crushing on her Callum never felt entirely comfortable around her despite being longtime friends, whereas even though Rayla can be much gruffer, Callum feels a lot more comfortable around her (even once he develops feelings) in general.

So there's the obvious level of comfort (Rayla) vs non-comfort (Claudia), as well as a longstanding childhood crush vs what has blossomed into more mature, enduring love of 3+ years as of the end of 7x09.

Claudia sees that his hair is messy and points it out; Rayla sees that his hair is messy and quietly fixes it herself, doing so simply and leaving Callum looking more relaxed than before, rather than less like in 2x02.

Rayla, as we know, doesn't really care about appearances. She routinely doesn't care about titles, she goes with what her gut tells her, and anytime she expresses distress over her appearance ("I'm a mess") it's scaffolded under "I'm showing weakness" rather "I look bad". There's a similar fear of judgement lurking underneath as Claudia's, but I don't think Rayla sees herself as a Good Person the same Claudia does, and therefore doesn't have the need to keep seeing herself that way in the same manner.

Either way, Callum is always Callum to her ("You're so gross" with a fond smile on her face; his scarf is smelly and he knows it and just smirks at her over it; "you're a good person, Callum, maybe the goodest," etc), and always her Callum — her heart, her home, her best friend and partner — and that's what the 7x09 scene is ultimately about, I think.

Do me the honour of letting me talk a bit about hair-touching and white streaks, though, for a second, when it comes to Claudia, Terry, Callum, and Rayla.

Because despite Claudia and Terry being very touchy-feely for 3.5/4 seasons, Terry never once touches Claudia's hair in quite the same manner or framing that we see in 7x09. He touches her hair, sure — he braids it for her and then later cuts it �� but this is the closest we get to an adjustment, which is when he's bathing her and cleaning her up in 6x03.

Now, pushing the white hair and all its associations to get to Claudia, flesh and blood and very much still alive, underneath would be ripe enough as a symbolic examination, honestly. The reason why this feels so different to me than 7x09, I think then, is that there are two scenes 7x09 mirrors when it comes to someone touching Claudia's hair in the "facing the camera, strands on the face/cheek" directly shot.

And it's herself.

SOREN: You saw what Dad turned Kasef into. What Dad turned into. Claudia, you're changing too. (3x07)

CLAUDIA: But... I'm still nice. I'm still me. (7x09)

In both instances, she's not willing to admit that Soren is right / that she's changed (or, arguably, that she needs to change just in the opposite direction). She touches it first as a sign of shame in the face of her brother's words, the first white streak in her dark hair. Then she touches one of the few dark streaks that remain, reassuring herself (because nobody else will or can at this point) that she's still the person she thinks of herself as, someone who's still nice ('good').

Callum, meanwhile, never touches his white streak. He wakes Rayla up in the middle of the night (which she takes much better than I would, I can say that much) and offers his scarf, asking if she trusts him. But Rayla notices his hair is a little askew, so she tidies it for him. And the whole time, his expression is completely open, smiling and trusting her in turn... even when she hasn't actually answered his question yet, and his expression softens even before she has too.

She doesn't tuck or hide it away. It's a part of him, and therefore a part she loves ("Everything"). And he knows it.

#rayllum #thanks for asking #tategaminu #requests #the dragon prince #tdp claudia #tdp rayla #tdp #characterization #where can i put it down?#callum x claudia #2x02 #arc 1 #arc 2 #7x09 #analysis series #analysis #parallels #i am excited that his white streak symbolism/association can presumably change and evolve throughout arc 3 though

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buddie2024rewatch · 9 months ago

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Buddie 2024 Rewatch!

Hello, everyone! Welcome to the Buddie 2024 Rewatch to spread some positivity!! The goal is to rewatch important episodes for both Buck and Eddie and their relationship and spread some love while we wait for season 8. I'm guessing the show will come back mid-October (mostly because I can't narrow the list down more) which would give us 15 weeks if we start right now, with 2 episodes. This is the list I came down to, this could be altered when we get an official airing date.

Week 1: 2x01 Under Pressure, 2x04 Stuck

Week 2: 2x08 Buck, Actually, 2x10 Merry Ex-Mas

Week 3: 2x18 This Life We Choose, 3x03 The Searchers

Week 4: 3x05 Rage, 3x06 Monsters

Week 5: 3x09 Fallout, 3x15 Eddie Begins

Week 6: 3x18 What's Next?, 4x03 Future Tense

Week 7: 4x08 Breaking Point, 4x12 Treasure Hunt

Week 8: 4x13 Suspicion, 4x14 Survivors

Week 9: 4x06 Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1, 5x11 Outside Looking In

Week 10: 5x13 Fear-o-Phobia, 5x14 Dumb Luck

Week 11: 5x16 May Day, 6x10 In a Flash, 6x11 In Another Life*

Week 12: 6x12 Recovery, 6x13 Mixed Feelings

Week 13: 6x15 Death and Taxes, 7x01 Abandon Ships

Week 14: 7x04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered, 7x05 You Don't Know Me

Week 15: 7x09 Ashes, Ashes, 7x10 All Fall Down

I'm setting up an Instagram account too, also @/buddie2024rewatch, since the idea is also to share stuff where the actors can see, so post stuff using the tag #buddie2024rewatch here and over there and I will try to reblog/share as many posts as I see!

*in another life is marked because Eddie isn't in a lot, so it's more of an optional thing, because 610 and 611 do go together.

#buddie2024rewatch #911 #911 abc #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz

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talas-first-lady · 5 months ago

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Charlie Fashion Tournament: Round 5 Match 1

We're down to the final four! Let's go!

On the right: From Tender Is the Nate, Charlie's black and red outfit. Perfect for enjoying some music or testing out your best Amaya impersonation.

On the left: From Hell No, Dolly! and Legends of To-Meow-Meow, Charlie's yellow & green plaid skirt look. Perfect for breaking the timeline or snuggling with Zaricat.

Find other polls here!

And follow my new side blog for the mega Legends costume poll, coming soon: @gidgets-fabricator

#lot charlie fashion tournament #legends of tomorrow tournament #lot charlie #lot 4x06 #lot 4x07 #lot 4x08

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geronimomo-spd · 1 year ago

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and there we go! the full Confidential Archive!

here are all the episodes, according to tardis wiki list, including all of the mini specials and chrismas specials and most if not all in good quality! the full list of everything is under the cut because yeah, its a longgg list!

all in order, including some youtube videos and dvd rips hehe, all according the the tardis wiki list

SERIES 1 -

1x00 - A New Dimension (a prolog to season one, narrated by David Tennant)

1x01 - (rose)

1x03 - (the unquiet dead)

1x04 - (aliens of london)

1x05 - (world war 3)

1x06 - (dalek)

1x07 - (the long game)

1x08 - (father's day)

1x09 - (the empty child)

1x10 - (the doctor dances)

1x11 - (boom town)

1x12 - (bad wolf)

1x13.1 - The Ultimate Guide (another little documentary right before

parting of the ways, about key aspects about filming the season)

1x13.2 - (parting of the ways)

1x14 - Backstage at Christmas (the nine minutes they gave us from some of behind the scenes of The Christmas Invasion)

SEIRES 2 -

2x00 - One Year On (a general preview for season 2, including the series 2 press launch, a lot more behind the scenes of The Christmas Invasion and some Torchwood stuff)

2x01 - (new earth)

2x02 - (tooth and claw)

2x03 - (school reunion)

2x04 - (the girl in the fireplace)

2x05 - (rise of the cyberman)

2x06 - (the age of steel)

2x07 - (the idiot's lantern)

2x08 - (the impossible planet)

2x09 - (the satan pit)

2x10 - (love & monsters) - (featuring the winning of the contest of designing a monster)

2x11 - (fear her)

2x12 - (army of ghosts)

2x13 - (doomsday)

2x14 - Music and Monsters (the behind the scenes of doctor who's first music show, including some behind the scenes stuff of The Runaway Bride)

SERIES 3 -

3x01 - (smith and jones)

3x02 - (the shakespear code)

3x03 - (gridlock)

3x04 - (daleks in manhattan)

3x05 - (evolution of the daleks)

3x06 - (the lazarus experiment)

3x05 - (42)

3x06 - (human nature)

3x07 - (the family of blood)

3x08 - (blink)

3x11 - (utopia)

3x12 - (the sound of drums)

3x13.1 - (last of the time lords)

3x13.2 - Children in Need Special (the behind the scenes of the special where 10 meets 5, really cute stuff)

3x14.1 - Kylie Special (series 3 christmas special. version 1 - the full version in less of a good quality i found on youtube, bless this youtube channel honestly)

3x14.2 - Kylie Special (series 3 christmas special. version 2 - the shorter version that was up on iplayer)

3x14.3 - Kylie Special (series 3 christmas special. version 3 - the version i edited to include the low quality parts that were missing with the good quality shorter version)

SERIES 4 (INCLUDING THE SPECIALS) -

4x01 - (partners in crime)

4x02 - (the fiers of pompaii)

4x03 - (planet of the ood)

4x04 - (the sontaran stratagem)

4x05 - (the doctor's daughter)

4x06 - (the posion sky)

4x07 - (the unicorn and the wasp)

4x08 - (silence in the library)

4x09 - (forest of the dead)

4x10 - (midnight)

4x11 - (turn left)

4x12 - (the stolen earth)

4x13 - (journey's end)

4x14.1 - The Journey (So Far) (a documentary about the entire show so far)

4x14.2 - Confidential Christmas 2008 (behind the scenes of The Next Doctor christmas special)

4x14.3 - Doctor Who: Top 5 Christmas Moments (a sort of confidential behind the scenes clip show of all of the episodes set at christmas)

4x15.1 - At the Proms 2008 (behind the scenes of doctor who at the proms 2008)

4x15.2 - The Eleventh Doctor (the special they used to announce Matt Smith as the new doctor who)

4x15.3 - Desert Storm (behind the scenes of Planet Of The Dead)

4x16 - Is There Life on Mars? (behind the scenes of The Waters Of Mars)

4x17 - Lords and Masters (behind the scenes of The End Of Time, Part One)

4x18 - Allons-y! (behind the scenes of The End Of Time, Part Two. version 1 - full dvd version)

4x18 - Allons-y! (behind the scenes of The End Of Time, Part Two. version 2 - shortend higher quality version from iplayer, this version has a song in the soundtrack that is diffrent from the dvd version, this is the most accurate version to what aired on tv at the time)

SERIES 5-

5x01 - (the eleventh hour)

5x02 - (the beast below)

5x03 - (victory of the daleks)

5x04 - (the time of angels)

5x05 - (flesh and stone)

5x06 - (the vampires of venice)

5x07 - (amy's choice)

5x08 - (the hungry earth)

5x09 - (cold blood)

5x10.1 - (vincent and the doctor)

5x10.2 Monster Files: The Daleks (a little documentary about victory of the daleks/daleks in general)

5x11 - (the lodger)

5x12 - (the pandorica opens)

5x13 - (the big bang)

5x14.1 - Monster Files: The Weeping Angels (a little documentary about the weeping angels episodes this season)

5x14.2 - Monster Files: The Silurians (a little documentary about the silurian episodes)

5x14.3.1 - Monster Files: The Alliance (a little documentary about the alliance of monsters from the pandoica opens)

5x14.3.2 - Backstage at the Doctor Who Prom 2010 (behind the scenes of doctor who at the proms 2010)

5x14.4.1 - Charlie McDonnell - Runner (the first Charlle behind the scenes videos, pretty quiet - Currently not up on the archives as Charlie has expressed the need to remove her old videos)

5.14.4.2 - Charlie McDonnell - TARDIS (another Charlie video, she explores the tardis set this time -Currently not up on the archives as Charlie has expressed the need to remove her old videos)

5x14.4.3 - Charlie McDonnell - Decorating Bus (another Charlie video, she decorates the food place with christmas decorations, i liked them Charlie - Currently not up on the archives as Charlie has expressed the need to remove her old videos)

5x14.4.4 - Charlie McDonnell - Christmas Presents (badger) (the famus Charlie video where she brings the cast and crew presents! this is where Matt gets his badger puppet - Currently not up on the archives as Charlie has expressed the need to remove her old videos)

5x14.5 - Christmas Special 2010 (behind the scenes of A Christmas Carol)

SERIES 6 -

6x01.1 - (the impossible astronaut)

6x01.2 - My Sarah Jane: A Tribute to Elisabeth Sladen (a special memorial for the late Elisabth Sladen 😭😭)

6x02 - (day of the moon)

6x03 - (the curse of the black spot)

6x04 - (the doctor's wife)

6x05 - (the rebel flesh)

6x06 - (the almost people)

6x07.1 - Charlie McDonnell interviews Neil Gaiman (Charlie interviews Neil Gaiman, appewrently causing some ruckes on Charlie's blog at the time hehe - Currently not up on the archives as Charlie has expressed the need to remove her old videos)

6x07.2 - (a good man goes to war)

6x07.3 - The Monster Files: The Silence (a little documentary on the silence, thank god because i needed that)

6x07.4 - The Monster Files: The Gangers (a little documentary on the gangers, my beloveds)

6x07.5 - Charlie McDonnell Becomes A Dalek (the last Charlie video, released late because it had the 1-4 tardis set, also she gets to ride a dalek in this one - Currently not up on the archives as Charlie has expressed the need to remove her old videos)

6x08 - (lets kill hitler)

6x09 - (night terrors)

6x10 - (the girl who waited)

6x11 - (the god complex)

6x12 - (closing time)

6x13.1 - (the wedding of river song)

6x13.2 - The Monster Files: The Antibodies (a little documentary on the antibodies from lets kill hitler)

6x13.3 - The Monster Files: The Cybermats (a little documentary on the little adorable cybermates because awww)

6x14 - The Nights' Tale (a little documentary on on the nights mini episodes! the last confidential stuff ever made rip)

#doctor who #doctor who confidential #dw #dwc #tenth doctor #eleventh doctor #ninth doctor #9th doctor #10th doctor #11th doctor #david tennant #matt smith #christopher eccleston #momo confidential watch #dw cast #rose tyler

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imminent-danger-came · 1 year ago

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going insane bonkers crazy again thinking about Macaque and MK parallels and similarities and am so so sick thinking about how they recognize it in eachother (at least subconsciously)

After MK saw the shadowpeach fight in 4x11, I imagine he see's himself in Macaque just like he saw himself in the warrior (finally understanding what Macaque meant in 2x07 lol)

Like:

"No that's you! You're the one always running off! Searching for more power, or more sources of immortality!"

(Am I counting Wukong leaving in the AHIB intro flashback? Yeah. Mainly because MK mentions it in 4x09: "You think Monkey King ever felt like this? Maybe that's why he stayed on this mountain, just having a good time with you guys—you know, cause...cause he knew he'd be out of the way where he couldn't hurt anyone he cared about." If the writers are going to call attention to it then so will I!)

But the cool thing about this show is that Macaque and MK also "run off":

"Well, it was great seeing you bud, just run off like you always do!"

Bonus shot of the time MK tried to run away and failed:

Bonus bonus shot of the one time Wukong and MK ran off together:

Bonus bonus bonus shot of the one time Mei ran off:

#''oh sure! cause normally you just RUSH to my rescue!''#and the way MK *did* in 3x10 for Mei #Every day I am haunted by 4x11 #My tip for any lmk watcher: pay attention to when people leave vs when they stay vs when they come back #4x08 is crazy because in 3x10 MK was immediately like ''We got to go after Mei!'' but in 4x08 MK is like #So immobilized by fear that instead of going after Monkey King he runs away to flower fruit mountain #You know there was a point where I thought I'd run out of things to talk about but it's been almost 11 months of my losing my shit #So like. Whatever #run motif #lmk #lego monkie kid #asks #lmk parallels #I'm counting this as my ''run motif'' parallels post #turn motif is next #that is one that is so fucking good and i have not talked about it a lot

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lover-of-mine · 2 years ago

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If yall allow me to be insane here, you know the whole blue and green thing with the couples in 911? Well, I noticed the fact that Eddie's phone case was green and I was like isn't Buck's phone case blue? And then I got curious. This is on 6x13 with the whole blue and green theme really established and both of them with the phones and the blue and green.

So I decided to go back a bit, and from what I could find, in 5x06, with the ambulance kidnapping thing, Eddie had no phone case and Buck had a black phone case.

(the quality in these sucks cause it's very fast, but Eddie's is the left one, ignore the ey there it's from that episode they switched their turnouts while shooting I guess they forgot to change all the shots, you can see the edges and the buttons so like no case, and on the right, there's Buck's and its black's)

Before this, well, no phone case for Eddie, Black phone case for Buck. (this is from 4x08, I had to dig a bit, I don't think Eddie uses his phone a lot in the show sokaoskakos, but Buck is usually black or dark grey when we see him in the corner researching something)

After that, I'm assuming given the plot they had to replace the phones and Buck got a dark blue phone case and Eddie still had no phone case. (this is from 5x13)

So I kept going, in 6x07, Eddie finally got a phone case, it's this greyish-green color and Buck's a lighter blue than last season, which looks like the ones they are using on 6x13.

We know they don't make any choice by accident when it comes to set and costumes and this is at least a bit interesting in solidifying the whole blue and green thing. And it's definitely interesting when you think about the whole darker shades the more developed the relationship is and the way Eddie's is darker than Buck's.............................

#911 spoilers #911 meta #911 #buddie #am i absolutely crazy? yes #BUT its in the screen so i can think whatever i want from it oaksoaksoaks #buddie is coming i can feel it #buddie thoughts #color theory

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marie-swriting · 3 months ago

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Waste Another Second - Robin Buckley

Stranger Things Masterlist

Summary : You have to fight Vecna and you're afraid of dying without confessing your feelings to Robin.

Warnings : set during 4x08 & 4x09, a bit of angst, happy ending.

Word count : 2.7k

French version

Song inspiration : Last Day On Earth by Jade LeMac

Time has arrived to get ready to kill Vecna, also known as One. With Nancy, Max, Lucas, Dustin, Eddie, Erica, Steve and Robin, you’re all getting your weapons prepared and making a plan. Anxiety is at its peak and yet, no one talks about it, as if it was a taboo subject.

In a field, you’re divided into four groups. Dustin and Eddie are having fun together, ignoring the danger that is waiting for them. Erica and Lucas are making makeshift weapons from afar. As for you, you are with Max and Nancy. The latter took her gun and is showing you how to use it. Since you have never held a gun in your hands before, you have a lot to learn. Behind you, a bit away from you, there is Steve and Robin making Molotov cocktails and talking to each other. The tension can be felt while they talk, they are not their chatty selves. They know one another so well, they can feel the other’s fear even if they talk about an unrelated topic to the Upside Down. Finally, Robin decides they should talk about the elephant in the room and nervously expresses her fear.

“Not everything has a happy ending.”

“Yeah, yeah, believe me, I know.” Steve replies, not understanding the double-meaning of Robin’s sentence.

Robin looks up and she watches you with Max and Nancy who is holding her gun. She is facing your back while you carefully listen to Nancy on how to shoot. She might not see you, but she knows what face you’re making. You’re frowning and biting the inside of your cheek, you do this every time you’re focused. Robin feels a pinch in her heart, thinking about what is waiting for you and to the words she never dared to say out loud.

“I’m not talking about failed romance. I just… I have this terrible, gnawing feeling that…,” Robin starts with hesitation, “it might not work out for us this time.”

“You think we shouldn’t be doing this?” Steve asks.

“I think we’re mad fools, the lot of us, but… if we don’t stop him, who will? We have to try, right?”

“Yeah. To killing Vecna.” He states raising one of the Molotov cocktails.

“Slash Henry.” Robin adds, doing the same.

“Slash One.” Steve specifies before the two friends clinks the bottle together. “If anything should go wrong, you should probably talk to her instead of staring at her from afar.”

“You’re not gonna start again. I told you my love life is the least of my concerns right now.” Robin sighs, avoiding Steve’s gaze.

“You’ve had a crush on her for years, maybe it’s time to finally say something!”

“She doesn’t have feelings for me.”

“I know you’re oblivious but still! She looks at you the same way you do. Whenever there’s danger, she worries about you.”

“We’re friends, it’s totally normal.”

“I can’t with you. You’re more than just friends and it would have been official for a long time now if you two stopped fearing a rejection that’s never gonna come.” he says, confident.

“You’re not gonna let it go, are you?”

“If it’s the last thing I do, then so be it.”

“What do you want me to say to her, though?” Robin asks after letting go of a frustrated groan. “Did you forget that every time I open my mouth, I just dig myself into a hole? I keep talking when I should just shut up and I’m always saying the wrong things. I can’t find the right words.”

“Speak from the heart.”

“Do you have anything more cheesy?” she exclaims, rolling her eyes.

“Be yourself.” Steve retorts with a fake silly smile.

“So you do have more cheesy advice.”

“Don’t be afraid of rejection.”

“Look, let’s make a deal. If we make it out alive, I’ll tell her about my feelings and you stop with your damn advice.”

“Deal.”

Steve shakes Robin’s hand as a way to seal the deal. Robin already regrets it. Why did she even make it? She’s surely going to ruin her friendship with you and just because she didn’t know how to shut Steve up. Robin sighs before glancing in your direction; right away, the second you find Robin’s eyes landing on you, you turn your head, pretending to check the gun in your hands.

“I’m tired of you two.” Nancy says once Max left you to go with Lucas and Erica.

“What do you mean?”

“You and Robin. You two are attracted to each other and yet, you just stay here, observing each other from afar. You’re always saying what you think, so I don't get why you still haven't said anything.”

“Because she clearly has feelings for Vicky. She always looks at her with all the love in the world.”

“You’ve got the wrong person. It’s you she looks at that way.”

“I don’t wanna lose her friendship just because I have feelings. I’d rather suffer in silence.” you state, not really convinced.

“You’re right, that’s healthier,” Nancy ironically says. “Y/N, we’re going to fight Vecna shortly and honestly, I don’t even know how it’ll end up. And if I learned one thing with all this Upside Down nonsense, it’s we never know how much time we have left so when there is something you have to tell someone, you do it while you still have time. So stop being afraid and go tell her what you feel.”

After those encouraging words, Nancy takes the gun from your hands and pushes you toward Robin. Reluctantly, you decide to follow what she said. Nervously fidgeting with your hands, you get closer. As soon as you’re in front of Robin and Steve, you take a deep breath before speaking.

“Robin, could I speak to you alone, please?”

“Sure.”

“I’m gonna leave you two,” Steve starts, quickly standing up. “I should probably show Henderson a thing or two to defend himself. I’m gonna let you talk, alone.”

Robin mentally slaps herself because of Steve’s attitude. You want to laugh because of Steve’s excuse but don’t. You stay in front of Robin while she gets up. Behind your back, Robin can see Steve making big gestures, pointing at you and mouthing the words “tell her you like her.” Robin swiftly looks away before dying of mortification.

“What do you want to talk about?” Robin questions, embarrassed.

“Oh, huh… I don’t know how to start,” you reply before breathing in. “I… I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a long time now, I have feelings for you, Robin. For two years to be precise. As soon as you talked to me the first time, when you told me everything about Dizzy Gillespie when I had simply asked a question about trumpet, I knew I’d like you; I just didn’t know how much. There have been quite a few times where I wanted to tell you, I just always chickened out. You don’t have to answer me or feel like you have to say you feel the same. I know you like Vickie so I know it’s not mutual - that’s actually why I didn’t tell you until now. But we’re literally going on a suicide mission against Vecna, I thought ‘why not tell her?’ If I have to die, I should say what I feel. I just wanted you to know. I’m gonna go now before making things worse.” you finish while Robin stays quiet.

“Y/N, wait!” she holds you back. “I feel the same.”

“What about Vickie?”

“She’s a friend, I don’t like her that way. I always thought you were out of my league, that’s why I never said anything.”

“Really?” You ask, in shock.

“Yeah, really.”

“Does that mean you’d say yes if I asked you on a date when all of this is over?” you propose, avoiding her gaze, fearing a rejection.

“Absolutely.”

“Perfect, then.” you smile, your eyes on Robin again. “Now that we’re officially going on a date together, you better be safe out there.”

“So should you.”

Despite the promise you made in the middle of the field, you quickly realise staying alive will be more complicated as you discover the Creel house is full of vines. Steve swears under his breath the second he sees the state of the house. Anxiety moves up a rung, however Steve takes a deep breath and enters first, jumping through the vines. Nancy is behind him, though she hasn’t walked through the door yet. As for you and Robin, you’re still set back. Robin suddenly takes your hand, fearing Steve might fall and also that she might walk at the wrong place when it’ll be her turn.

“I’m covering your back. It’s gonna be okay.” you reassure her.

Words get stuck in Robin’s throat so she only gives you a pinched smile before following Nancy and Steve, not really confident. As soon as Robin has moved a bit forward, you enter the not-so welcoming house. You keep walking upstairs; there, you take your weapons out, a machete for you, an axe for Steve and he also gets Nancy’s gun out of her bag and gives it to her. Suddenly, there is an earthquake in the house and as much as you can, you hold onto each other so you don’t wake Vecna up. Robin closes her eyes while you put your hand on her shoulder, hoping to calm her anxiety down. The minute the earthquake is over, you stop holding each other. You’re about to go to the attic when a vine grabs Robin’s foot and pulls her from behind.

“Robin!” you scream, throwing yourself after her.

Despite your efforts, you can’t catch Robin who ends up stuck on the wall, vines tying her up. With your machete, you try to cut them while they close themselves even more on Robin’s body. Robin calls for help and quickly, Steve and Nancy come to Robin’s rescue. Nancy hits the vines with her gun and Steve uses his axe. However, his axe is taken out of his hand before you know it and then he gets tied up on the other wall. Nancy runs to him, trying to free Steve while you’re focused on Robin. Unfortunately, you can only give a few more hits before being violently pulled to the side. You find yourself on the same wall as Robin, next to her, fear paralysing you. Nancy is the last person standing, not for long, though. Another vine goes to her feet, making her fall and dropping her gun. She tries to take it again, but she finds herself stuck on the wall, next to Steve.

Vines tightens around your neck, preventing you from breathing. Tears are rolling down your cheeks as you feel death coming. With your last strength, you turn your head on the right side and find Robin completely terrified. You can’t believe it’s the end when you’re still young, you haven’t done everything you wanted, especially with Robin. You think about your parents who you love, despite the conflicts you may have. All your regrets come in full force; everything you should have said, all the times you should have apologized. You wish you had more time. It cannot end like this. Your life can’t end in the Upside Down, your regrets killing you as much as Vecna.

After what seems like forever, you feel the grip around your neck loosing. You can finally take a deep breath while you fall on the ground, your friends following you. You see the vines backing up while you cough, trying to breathe normally again.

“I don’t believe in a higher power or divine intervention but that was a miracle.” Robin states.

“Then we better not waste it.” Nancy retorts furiously once she’s on her feet, cocking her guns.

“Phase four.” Steve adds.

“Flambé.” you reply.

Finally in the attic, you face Vecna who is levitating while all the vines are connected to his body. Robin puts her bag down and with Steve, you take the Molotov cocktails. Steve throws the first one, waking Vecna up. As One is getting closer, you throw the second one and finally, Robin throws hers. Vecna is on fire, though it doesn’t seem like that’s stopping him from walking. Nancy takes one step forward, a menacing expression on her face, gun in hands and shoots him several times until he falls through the window.

Vecna has officially been defeated but at what cost? There has been an earthquake in town and it was so violent that the ground fell apart, Max is in the hospital between life and death, Eddie is dead, Dustin and Lucas are traumatised as they lost a loved one in front of them and the rest of the group is no better. Even Mike, Eleven, Will and Jonathan didn’t come out of it unscathed without even being in Hawkins.

This time, the weight of fighting the Upside Down is unbearable. You have already been close to death, however, it’s nothing compared to what just happened. And the worst part is there is still this anxiety that Vecna’s vanishment is only the calm before the storm. Sure, you beat him, but is it really over now? Are you finally safe? No matter the answer, the stress related to all these events aren’t leaving you anytime soon.

Every second linked to this awful story is still in your head. You’re still traumatised about what happened at the Creel house where you almost died. You can’t help but think that at any given moment, you could have died in the Upside Down and your parents would have never known about it, you would have never gone on a date with Robin, you wouldn’t be driving her home right now. Now more than ever, you’re aware of how precious every second is.

The drive to Robin’s home is silent. As soon as you are at her place, you take a deep breath before blurting out:

“Be my girlfriend.”

“What?”

“Sorry, that was too straightforward,” you apologize, closing your eyes for a second. “Let me start again. I like you a lot, Robin, like really and if there is one thing I understood from all of this is that I don’t want to die with any regrets. I don’t want to look back on my high school years and tell myself I should have done this or I shouldn’t have done that, that I let my fears stopped me from doing what I wanted. I fully want to live. I know you agreed to go on a date with me and honestly, it’s more than I was hoping for, though I’d love to call you my girlfriend. At first, I wanted to have a romantic date and by the end of it, I would have asked you to be my girlfriend, but we still haven’t settled on a day yet and even if we had, it wouldn’t be soon enough. I know what I feel for you and I want to be with you, so, if that’s what you want, too, I’d love for us to officially be together.” you finish, catching your breath. “Obviously, if it’s too soon for you and you want to take baby steps, then that’s what we’ll do. Don’t feel like you have to-”

You don’t have the time to end your sentence when Robin’s lips crash into yours. You put your hands on her hips, deepening the kiss while hers are on your cheeks. You kiss for a few seconds and nothing else exists. No more Vecna, Upside Down, pressure, fear. Nothing. Just you and Robin kissing each other in your car.

Robin breaks the kiss and smiles at you while her cheeks take a light shade of pink.

“I didn’t know what to say.” She softly admits.

“That’s rare coming from you, but I love knowing I have this effect on you. Though I hope you’ll keep talking my ears off.”

“I’d love to be your girlfriend. I don’t want to waste another second without being with you.”

Glad to know the feeling is mutual, you lovingly look at her, your right hand moves from her hip to her cheek, slowly stroking it before bringing her face back to yours and kissing Robin again.

Stranger Things Masterlist

#marie swriting in english #Spotify #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #robin buckley fanfic #robin buckley imagine #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley #robin buckley x y/n #robin buckley x fem!reader #robin buckley x you #robin buckley x female reader #robin buckley angst #robin buckley one shot #robin buckley oneshot

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bam-bi-buck · 5 months ago

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Buck & Chris’s relationship + abandonment issues - long post

Do y’all think part of the reason Christopher went with his Grandparents is because he felt safe enough about Buck’s love and commitment to him that he knew Buck wouldn’t be mad at him when he came back?

Before I continue with that train of thought, this thought process is shaped by theories I’ve seen about why Chris called his Grandparents instead of Buck when Chris has gone to Buck for support with his anger/fear due to Eddie’s whole thing twice before (4x08 & 5x13) but he didn’t this time? Why? maybe because viewing him as a parental figure in this case impacts how he views Buck likelyhood to be completely on his side as his grandparents (especially Helena) are instead of being on both of their side - which he was

Chris was really angry and hurt, he didn’t want Buck to try to fix this, to try to keep them together, he wanted Buck to be angry at Eddie with him, but that’s not who Buck is and both Chris and Eddie know that

That’s why Eddie called him and Chris didn’t

Now back to Chris, his abandonment issues, and his relationship with Buck and how we can interpret it based off 7x10

Chris has severe abandonment issues, which is not surprising at all based on what he’s been through - Eddie being in active duty throughout his early childhood, then working himself to the bone with three jobs, Shannon leaving to California and then dying

Then he had feelings of abandonment during the pandemic, he lost contact with both Ana & Marisol after their relationships with Eddie ended, his bisabuela moved back to Texas, and we didn’t heard about Carla at all season 7 (I’m like 98% sure - please correct me if I’m wrong)

In season 7 he even said he feels like girls leave when Buck had that dating talk with him

(Even Buck technically left him for a bit, during the lawsuit era but I’m unsure is he views it that way or not though we do know that Chris missed him during that time - Grocery Store Divorce and all)

However, Buck has since made a promise to him and their relationship has evolved a lot since then

We know that Chris goes to Buck when he’s mad at Eddie (4x08) and there’s lot of evidence that indicates he views Buck as a parental figure (he talks to Buck in a similar fashion as he does Eddie, he seeks out Buck for support, the way he spoke to Buck while he was in a coma, just to name a few)

Plus there’s a reason Eddie chose Buck as Chris’s legal guardian and why the writers chose to include that plot

Because of Buck & Chris’s bond

And he lost his mom, he’s almost lost his dad several times, he’s gotten attached to two different women Eddie was seeing and has now lost them

When Chris ubered to Buck’s place and said that everyone leaves, Buck promised he wouldn’t leave Chris

And then when he talked to Chris before he left with his grandparents, Buck did flounder a bit (as would I in that situation, not judging here) but he does make a comment about understanding Chris wanting to go which would probably reassure Chris that Buck isn’t and won’t be mad at him

I think Chris would have had a harder time leaving if he was scared of Buck not being there when he got back

We all have our assumptions (mostly negative from what I’m seeing but I’m not judging I do too) but we don’t actually know what Helena’s saying to Chris, if she’s talking down Eddie’s love for him or not

But while it’s possible she is, Eddie told Chris himself that he can come home at any point he wants

We can also assume that part of why Chris left is because he’s mad + hurt and lashing out wanting Eddie to feel the same as him / doesn’t trust Eddie right now and is waiting for Eddie to do something to prove himself before he’ll be ready go home

I do believe that Chris knows that he can go home to Eddie (no matter what Helena may or may not be saying) and thus him leaving isn’t triggering his abandonment issues and that he’s just waiting for, as I theorized above, for Eddie to prove he won’t be hurt again if he does

and thus his abandonment issues won’t be triggered regarding Eddie (this time) unless he’s convinced he can’t go home, something happens with Eddie, or Eddie fails to prove himself to Chris

OR his abandonment issues were already triggered and he felt like he was losing Eddie (again) to Kim and her madness and he left as a means to protect himself from that, and is, again waiting for proof that he’s safe to come home from the aftermath of all that

All that to say I don’t think his abandonment issues would stop him from leaving Eddie with his grandparents in this particular instance

Ethier way though… because Chris has had a lot of experience of not having both his parents, losing parents, dealing with the fear of losing parents, and losing positive authority figures, it had to be really tough to leave Eddie himself, no matter how angry and hurt he is

And if I’m right and he does view Buck as a parental figure as well then we might assume he’d also fear losing Buck as well by leaving to Texas

I think his abandonment issues would have been triggered regarding Buck while living in Texas, especially since he’s probably always worried about losing Eddie to a certain extent (army, overworking himself in Texas, work as a firefighter, etc) he lost his mother twice, lost both Ana and Marisol who may not have been parental figures but were positive authority figures in his lives, except Buck promised Chris he wouldn’t leave him

And so I think independently of his feelings regarding abandonment and Eddie, Chris still feels secure in his relationship with Buck to not fear losing him during his time away

Just a theory and I could totally be off but it’ll be really interesting to see how they address everything when Buck and Chris reunite (if they do)

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sevensoulmates · 1 year ago

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7x05 Buddie Meta YDKM Part 2 (of 4)

Part 1. Part 3. Part 4

I just want to make an aside and say that I'm really happy they didn't go the route of having Maddie just "know" about Buck's queerness. As much as it's a funny headcanon, in real life "the glass closet" reaction from other people can feel invalidating, and Buck obviously reacts defensively when Maddie says "Wow", wanting to know immediately why she would say that. Also, just because Maddie is his big sister doesn't mean she automatically knows everything about Buck. I'm glad that both she and Eddie reacted with some surprise but mostly just acceptance.

I like that they're making it a point to show that even though it feels like Buck liking men is coming out of nowhere, it's really not. He's felt feelings for men and sexual attraction to men in the past, he just thought it was all normal. This also reminds me of his relationship with Eddie (and not just because Buck admitted to being an ass man and we all know who has the best ass on the show) because he views the relationship he was with Eddie to be "normal" best friends when it's really not true. There's a lot of nebulousness there but then in the scenes where it very much stands out that this is not typical male best friendship. But Buck just didn't realize it, and my guess is Eddie doesn't realize this either.

Very brief aside, but my roommate thought this line was interesting because apparently "clefts" in men are supposed to be generally perceived as "super manly" or known for being something The Manliest of Men have (think Clark Kent/Superman) and I just find it interesting that Buck's attracted to something that's very stereotypically masculine. Once again proving that he's attracted to the male form, not just personalities or such.

Qualifying Tommy as "Eddie's friend" here is fascinating because I really think Maddie was flashing back to the last episode when Buck was in her kitchen complaining about Tommy and Eddie, and Maddie had justified it as Buck being "friend jealous" only for Buck to turn around and date Tommy all of a sudden. I think a lot of things are slotting into place for her now, and I think a lot of her "wow" comment was also her thinking about the implications of this too.

Hence why this next line feels pointed. It's very straightforward, practically bashing us over the head at this point. Buck's not sure of his own feelings yet. I don't think this is meant to say he's unsure of being bisexual or attracted to men, but that's he unsure of what he's feeling in regards to who the object of his affection is at the moment.

"If there's something you need to tell Eddie, you will. In your own time."

Are you kidding me? Could you BE any more blatant? It's not "you'll come out to Eddie when you're ready." or "you'll tell Eddie about Tommy when you're ready". It's a purposely vague line because Buck doesn't know what his feelings are just yet, but those of us who have been paying attention know. What he has to tell Eddie goes far beyond just his newfound bisexuality. And once Buck figures out what his feelings are, that's when he'll tell Eddie that "something". And it's not gonna happen on anyone's timeline but Buck's. This line really leads me to believe that Buck is a strong contender to figure out his feelings by the end of the season and may end up being the first person to admit their feelings (possibly later on in season 8).

Trigger warning for Eddie/Marisol post-sex scene:

Firstly I want to draw several comparisons to Eddie's previous scenes with his love interests. The first is that this wide shot of the setting before panning to them in bed reminded me of the scene in 4x08 Breaking Point where Eddie is on his date with Ana and we hear grunting/moaning sounds, but it's a fake-out to them just sitting on the couch learning math. This time, it's not a fake-out, they really were having sex in this scene. The second parallel is the fact that Eddie and Marisol are lying together upside down on the bed. In my opinion, this is a blatant call-back to Shannon and their sex scene in 2x10 Merry Ex-Mas. Which to me signals a couple of things. 1.) That Eddie is very obviously trying to force Marisol to be a replacement for Shannon and 2.) He's doing the same thing with Marisol that he did with Shannon and using sex as a distancing method.

I know that sounds contradictory. Why would he ask her to move in if he's been trying to distance himself from her? Bear with me and I'll explain in a minute.

We know that Eddie doesn't know Marisol all that well, as proven by this episode. So what were they doing all of this time when they've been dating for months? Just not talking? Nope. Apparently, they've been having sex. So much sex apparently that they haven't been able to have any "get to know you" conversations.

With Shannon, the two of them had sex because it was easier than actually trying to talk to each other. Because when they would talk, it would always devolve into screaming fights. If Eddie is subconsciously trying to make his relationship with Marisol into the one like with Shannon, that may be an explanation as to why he's been so hesitant to actually get to know her at all. I'll come back to this more later.

Now I'm curious if anyone else picked up on this line because it felt like a clear parallel to season 5, but not to Eddie's last relationship. Instead, it felt like a parallel to BuckTaylor shortly after she moved in 5x13 Fear-O-Phobia. Not only is BuckTaylor paralleled because Buck also asked Taylor to move in on a whim in order to save a failing relationship, but it's also where Taylor decided her couch (any couch theory truthers out there?) was better than Buck's couch and therefore he would have to get rid of his in order to make room for hers. To me, that showed Taylor's clear inability to make any compromises with Buck, and anywhere she lived would always be her place, and not theirs. This parallel is interesting because it just makes me think that it's foreshadowing more incompatibility for Eddie and Marisol in the future. With Marisol "invading Eddie's home", the more of her that is moved in, the more of himself he has to get rid of, shut down, or deny. That's not to say Marisol is on the same level as Taylor Kelly, oh no, but it might just show that this relationship Eddie has with Marisol might just be as unhealthy for him, as Buck's relationship with Taylor was for him.

I also find it interesting how Eddie starts to make what he's learned sexual. He's not talking about your general "slapping of the hands or arms with a ruler", spanking very much has one definition, though it can be used in both PG and sexual situations. Spanking of a child's bottom is used as punishment, often to cause shame, in order for the child to not do certain things again. (This might be a controversial take but) spanking a child is physical abuse, and often has psychological repercussions on a child as they grow up. Eddie here seems to be insinuating that he was put through something similar when he was young. But then he also conflates it with the sexual form of spanking which should normally be fine between consenting partners. To me, I think Eddie is now subconsciously mentally connecting shame, punishment, and the conditioned urge to Never Do It Again or suffer the consequences with having sex with Marisol. The question then begs, what is Eddie so ashamed of and what are the consequences he's so afraid of?

I find it very curious that rather than Eddie being concerned that Marisol is too religious for him, or that they might have differing lifestyles that may not be compatible, he worries how this will affect their sex life. In my opinion, it's because on some level he's aware if he can no longer have sex with Marisol, what else are they supposed to do with the time they spend together? Do they have anything in common? Do they share any hobbies? It's especially interesting juxtaposing 7x04 where Eddie was having a BLAST going on dates outings with Tommy, and they had so much in common and Eddie was just asking Marisol to babysit multiple times a week. So with the little time he has been spending with Marisol recently, all they've been doing is fucking.

It's the same pattern of distancing he did with Shannon. She got pregnant, they got married, Eddie immediately enlisted and preceded to spend most of the following 4-6 years away from Shannon, only seeing her for short periods at a time where they spent most of the time they did see each other fighting. When he was back, Eddie was emotionally distant, which was a large part of the reason Shannon left in the first place. And when she came back, and he didn't have any other ways to distance himself? He used sex instead, and only really got it into his head that he wanted to get back with her when she had her pregnancy scare.

That's not to say there weren't good moments, or that Eddie didn't love her. But I do think a large part of the reason Eddie looks back on that time and romanticizes it is because he enjoyed the concept of being married to her and the safety net that provided him. Their marriage/feelings for each other were nuanced, but it can't be denied that from what we've seen on screen (which is all we can really call canon) it seems like a large part of their marriage was spent in (mutual) deep dysfunction.

So now that he doesn't have sex as a way to distance himself from Marisol what does he do? Avoids her physically as much as he can.

Additionally, I would like to touch on something known as the Madonna-Whore Complex:

After we see Marisol in her nun attire, the next time Eddie sees her, he sees her as the Virgin Mary, mother of Christ, aka, the ultimate Mother Figure in catholicism. One could argue that Eddie's turned off because she reminds him of old teachers who apparently used to physically hit him and probably weren't very open to certain things that they would classify as "sin" or "ungodly".

Towards the end of their relationship, Eddie very much only saw Shannon as Christopher's mother, enough so that Shannon even questioned if he wanted her for her. Now he seems to be going through a similar problem, but instead of Marisol being the literal mother of his child, he's seeing her as this Mother figure and therefore unfuckable, hence his struggles to feel arousal about her after this. But as we're shown later as proven by Bobby, it does feel as if Eddie is using the whole Catholicism thing as an excuse to distance himself from Marisol.

So what's the truth of this? The Madonna-Whore complex is rooted in misogyny and patriarchy, but where do queer or repressed queer men fall into this category? That might be a little above my pay grade to answer, but it is still something interesting to think about.

This was very telling as well. "To avoid not having sex" essentially means he was purposefully avoiding having to talk with Marisol in order to turn her down for sex. Idk, but if you're in a good enough partnership where you're at the point of asking them to move in, it's usually assumed that you at least know how to communicate to your partner that you don't want sex. Why is Eddie afraid to tell Marisol that he doesn't want to have sex with her? It makes sense if ALL they've been doing most of the time they spend together is having sex. If he has to tell Marisol no to sex, what are they going to do then? Talk? Actually get to know each other? God forbid.

This starts the series of scenes in this episode where Eddie does everything in his power to avoid having a conversation with Marisol because now his sex-crutch is no longer there to distract the both of them.

I'll admit I didn't know what the "Manchurian catholic" and "sea monkeys" dialogue lines meant but I've since done some research and I get it now. "Manchurian Catholic" is a reference to the movie "Manchurian Candidate" which is basically about a man who has was brainwashed into being an assassin, highlighting the psychological effects of suppressed memories and trauma. Sea monkeys were a children's thing where you had like shriveled shrimp where if you add water, they blow up in size. Basically, there are three lines all pointing to the same thing: Eddie's sitting on a well of repressed feelings (that are attached to shame) that may have been conditioned "out" of him over time.

This is what is known as Catholic Guilt. The question then becomes: What does Eddie feel guilty for? What "sin" has Eddie committed that is making him feel so guilty? Having sexual relations with a woman who was an almost-nun? Having pre-marital relations? Could be on the surface.

The show is acknowledging that Eddie is far more repressed than he even realizes. I feel like these lines are inviting the audience to think deeper: what is Eddie repressing here? Is it really just that he doesn't want to have sex with Marisol because God is watching and judging him for pre-marital sex or sleeping with one of his exes (thank you Bobby for that amazing line)? Or is it something different?

Marisol never actually got far enough to be a full-blown nun. She made the choice not to continue with it, but Eddie still has a problem with it. The main part of the problem, in his own words, is that he can't get aroused when he looks at her anymore. Not only that but he's been unable to even masturbate because the thought of her turns him off that much. Like my dude, there's no rule that says you have to imagine your girlfriend while jacking off. A lot of people, even people in loving committed relationships, have sexual fantasies that don't necessarily involve their partner and it doesn't necessarily make them a horrible person. I think it's interesting that even in his sexual fantasies Eddie's so strict about being "loyal" to his partner, that he can't even allow himself to imagine anything else other than her when getting off. But now, he can't because the nun things turns him off that much.

I can't help but wonder, is it really the nun thing, Eddie? Or is it that Marisol's strong connection to catholicism reminds you of times when you were forced to push down parts of yourself that were only starting to blossom in order to conform to what your religion and your family expected of you. Is it that the nun thing turns you off so much that you can't get hard? Or is it because now that you've been reminded of how you suppressed your feelings growing up, the reservoir of feelings has bursted and you're being reminded that women....just don't do it for you in general. But to think about men is to invite shame, punishment, guilt, and pain, and to be avoided at all costs.

Maybe it's easier to pretend it's the nun thing and not a women thing.

On a slightly more humorous note:

Buck's "I wish I could help you with that" line is VERY interesting. Freudian slip, mayhaps? Do you wish you could help Eddie get off, Buck? DO YOU? ;)

Other than that, I also wanted to point out that this scene in the gym is a parallel to 5x02, when Buck and Eddie last sat in these exact spots and Buck did the exact same thing and gave Eddie good advice about how to handle his last girlfriend Ana, basically telling Eddie to stop stringing Ana along. I find it interesting we're getting callbacks to Eddie's last break up because last time he also decided he was just going to stick it out and it was only Buck giving him some perspective that allowed him to finally make the decision to break up with her in the following episode.

But this time, Buck isn't able to fully tell Eddie all that he wants to say, which is the truth about himself. He gives him advice to talk to Bobby. And Bobby's conversation with Eddie is the LOUDEST in the entire episode.

This scene is incredibly revealing because it shows that Eddie isn't even really sure if it is his feelings regarding Catholicism that are triggering this reaction in him. Bobby rightly points out that the effects of being raised Catholic don't just go away once you leave the faith. They can have lasting and lingering consequences, some that people might not even realize until later in life.

Bobby very blatantly tells Eddie that this adverse reaction he's having to Marisol's past as an almost-nun is likely a reaction similar to his panic attacks that he had about Ana when things were moving too fast with her back in season 5. Bobby says Eddie never talks about her, not in any way that makes it seem like he was so serious about her as to ask her to move in. This comes out of nowhere for Bobby (and the rest of the characters) just as it does for the audience. This is to show us that what Eddie is doing IS out of nowhere and is a decision that should be questioned not just by the audience but by Eddie as well.

The fact that Bobby is comparing this reaction to how he acted with Ana really does harken back to the "repression" storyline of season 5. Eddie's subconscious is trying to tell him something, but he's ignoring it (as he always does) and is instead doing the exact opposite of what he should do and doubles down on Marisol.

And Eddie, as always, gets the exact opposite message of what Bobby's trying to tell him. Because Eddie's not a commitment-phobe. He commits too much, too fast, almost as if he cares more about getting to the "committed" part of the relationship, and doesn't care enough to actually build an actual bond with the women he's with. And Bobby gets to the heart of it by name-dropping Shannon. Because the crux of his commitment issues started with her. When he felt so guilty for getting her pregnant and then later for abandoning her for the military, that he basically vowed to stay committed to her for the rest of time, in life and in death. She's been dead for five years at this point, and Eddie is still hung up on his guilt over her. And no, I will not say he's hung up on her or his romantic love for her because that's not true as proven by his next line.

All I have to say is THANK GOD. Thank GOD the show is finally acknowledging that Shannon and Eddie did not get married because they really wanted to, or because they just loved each other so much. They got married because they got pregnant and were pressured into getting married by their catholic community and families. The show is finally starting to deconstruct Eddie's marriage and his romanticizing it over the years.

This line blew me away. Because he doesn't say "I loved her" or "I loved being with her." He loved being married. He liked being committed. He liked the knowledge that he had what was expected of him, a wife and a child. He liked being settled, knowing that he wouldn't ever have to go back out and make himself vulnerable to find another partner. He would never have to crack himself open so far to be truly known and get hurt. They could both hurt each other so deeply and it wouldn't matter because Eddie at least did his duty. He married her, made an honest woman out of her in the eyes of the church and their families, and provided monetarily for her. But he never gave her him, not fully, and that comes straight out of the mouth of Shannon Diaz herself.

What Eddie is seeking from Marisol is not a partnership, it's not a genuine connection with an individual. Because to create those kinds of relationships requires exposing yourself and letting in the possibility of being judged, of being hurt, of losing them. And Eddie doesn't want to be so invested in a person like that ever again. He already experienced that kind of loss with Shannon, and even they didn't have that kind of deep soul connection. I wonder if Eddie's afraid that he wouldn't survive that kind of loss if it was actually a partner he really deeply and unconditionally loved. It might destroy him, and that scares him.

So instead, Eddie would rather just skip forward to committed, to moved in, to married, to settled, and just stick it out when he has panic attacks, when he feels like he's sleeping next to a stranger, when sex is as deep of a connection he can ever get with a woman.

But when his body fights back, in various ways, in panic attacks, in sexual dysfunction, he doesn't listen to it. He ignores the signs.

Go to part 3!

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4

#911 abc #911 speculation #buddie #meta #911 meta #buddie meta #analysis

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m3r1m4r5u333 · 1 year ago

Text

Btw I NEED TO ramble about the scene in which Buck comes out to Maddie and why it just makes me love her even more than I did before. Maddie is my freaking GOAT ❤️❤️❤️

Why? Well, because she already KNEW. She TOTALLY KNEW. And still pretended to be surprised!!

Why do I say she knew? Well. Because it's 100% canon that Buck rambles about his boy crushes, a lot. A LOT. To everyone!!!

I can't remember how much I've talked about this, but Buck totally had a crush on Albert at one point. There's an whole storyline about it, episodes 4x07 and 4x08.

Here's a recap of how it goes:

Buck goes on a date with Veronica. The date goes BADLY. It lasts for about 90 minutes and Buck leaves humiliated, never wanting to see her again.

Albert is Buck's room mate. Buck comes home, rants about the embarrassing date, announces that he never wants to see Veronica again... Goes to take out the trash, and runs across Veronica, realising that she's their neighbour, lives in the same building. Buck runs home and urgently tells Albert that they have to move!!

Then... Buck knocks on Veronica's door, trying to reconciliate. He does not want awkwardness between neighbours. They agree that the date was terrible, and then... Albert walks out of the shower in a towel.

Next... We see Buck and Taylor (she's a reporter) at work. They're watching a guy who's having a meltdown on a low roof. The emergency is taking forever, Taylor and Buck talk... Or rather.. Buck does!!

Not only does he rant about Albert and Veronica to Taylor, he also talks about them to a random first responder. Albert in a towel!!! has certainly left Buck reeling. It's super obvious that the one Buck actually fancies is Albert. The one date with Veronica was terrible, they definitely weren't ever in a relationship -- but Buck is sputtering about "breaking of bro code!!" and Albert in a towel?? Yeah.

They're not the only ones hearing about Albert. There's also a scene (can't recall which episode) where Chimney and Maddie enter a karaoke bar. Chimney says something about this being nice reprise because he's heard enough about Albert lately...

Anyway, back to Veronica/Buck/Albert/Taylor. Buck invites Taylor on a double date - without telling her it's a double date. Taylor arrives, takes in the queer love square she's been pulled into, very pointedly says that she's heard A LOT about Albert because Buck keeps talking about him... And then she's like "Actually I'm off, this is ridiculous.", and storms off (go queen 👑!)... (Then she and Buck reconciliate. Her capacity to forgive is unparalled, just saying.)

Anyway, back to WHY I LOVE MADDIE. (And Chimney!!!)

The crush on Albert isn't the only obvious boy crush Buck has, is it?

Eddie... The way they meet and Buck goes nuts trying to impress Eddie. The peacocking (mutual peacocking!!!!) is absolutely ridiculous. Chimney watches this mating display dance, shakes his head, rolls his eyes, chuckles to himself... Chimney can tell what's going on, for sure.

Then there's that famous scene in which Buck rambles about Eddie and Chris, is apparently elbows deep online researching for ways to help Eddie with Christopher... Maddie finally asks if the boy crush on Eddie means that Buck is over Abby.

... And there is of course also that scene where Buck assumes that when Maddie meets Chimney and says "he's so cute!", Maddie is talking about Eddie... Even though Maddie and Chimney are before line that seen talking and flirting like they're totally in their own bubble.

Anyway - then let's jump to season 7. Buck is rambling on and on about Eddie and Tommy, and how they've hit off. Apparently has for a good while. Buck is super bothered by their friendship, it's clear he's pressing Chris for intel, snooping around the Diaz home trying to find more information... Maddie listens to this absolutely ridiculous, clueless prattling. And she knows. She totally knows.

Buck is GLASS. He's absolutely transparent. This man isn't straight.

And she's not the only one who knows.

Chimney enters the room. Maddie looks at him "NO! Don't you dare say anything!!!" But Chimney can't resist indulging himself with some subtle teasing.

He jumps in, praising Tommy. "That Tommy's SO COOL 😍!!" Basically just adding fuel to the fire, getting under Buck's skin.

Maddie, in the background is making a face like:

"jdjdkkeke CHIMNEY 🤦 ...Ugh, thank you, darling. 🙄👌You've done it. I'll be here all day, listening to this absolutely brainless jealous meltdown. Fucking great!"

So...

Why won't they say anything, talk to Buck about how ridiculous he's being? Sit him down and spell:

YOU AREN'T STRAIGHT. YOUR BOY CRUSHES CAN BE SEEN FROM OUTER SPACE. Wake up!!

Well... Because they are being patient. Because they are being considerate, because they do not want to press him, because they're letting him take his time, figure it out at his own pace.

Because they know that confronting someone who isn't ready to face their queerness can go badly.

Forcing someone to confront their queerness can backlash, it can make that person retreat further inside the closet.

It can be embarrassing and traumatizing for the closeted person to be pressed about this inner conflict. The closet is a maze, it is scary, and confusing, and the denial can be powerful enough that the closeted person doesn't even have any idea that hey, I'm queer, I'm closeted.

So Maddie and Chimney are being sensitive. They see that Buck isn't ready to talk about his sexuality - he's obviously not even aware of it.

So Maddie and Chimney are giving him the time he needs to come to term with it. They may indulge in some gentle teasing, maybe try to give him the occasional hint to help him along, but mostly they're just waiting, listening, letting him be.

So!!!!

What about Maddie's (my GOAT, I love her ❤️) reaction to Buck coming out? Why did she pretend to be surprised by Buck's attraction to men?

Because she was being KIND. Considerate. Because she loves her brother and realises that this moment... It's not about her. It's about him. It's about the reaction Buck needs, to feel supported.

It's not the time to embarrass him. It's not the time to GLOAT about how smart she is, to have realised, ages ago, that Buck is clearly into into men, too.

She did see it coming, and because she is the BEST sister ever... She prepared. She researched this shit, how to react to someone's coming out in a positive way.

And if this is new to you - pay attention now...

Many queer people say this about their coming out;

It sucks if the person you're coming out goes "I KNEW IT! I CALLED IT! I SAW THIS COMING! YOU WERE SO OBVIOUS!!"

Because it totally belittles their struggle. It can be humiliating to learn that when you were scared, and stressed, and confused, and trying to hide your vulnerable underside... Someone was watching you, and thinking "Pffft. You're so freaking obvious. You're fooling nobody. Just come out already."

This gloating "I knew it" reaction isn't just bad because it makes you feel stupid, embarrassed, to learn that you were being transparent. It's like you have no privacy anymore. They saw your performance and gave it one star.

This "Oh I knew"... It makes you anxious because then you wonder... Who else already knows? Who else am I obvious to? What else am I obvious about?

Learning that they knew... It can be traumatizing. Embarrassing. Scary. Because nobody wants to learn that they're easy to read.

Maybe... you aren't ready to come out to everyone, and this reaction makes you terrified that you won't have the option to get ready, that they will realise what you're hiding, and force you to talk about it.

Because maybe... you're still freaked out abour people knowing you're queer. Maybe you fear people spotting it and lashing out.

Or maybe... You aren't afraid of a hateful reaction, but panic at the idea of even a supportive talk about your sexuality with someone. Sexuality is an universal taboo, talking about is awkward and stressful to almost everyone.

And also, when you come out and the person you told tells you they already knew, that your queerness was obvious, and they were expecting you to come out..?

It can be a shock in another way. Maybe your queerness was something you, at some point, were desperate to hide from others... And clearly, you failed that mission. What else are you failing to hide? Because everyone has something they're insecure about!!! Secrets, traumas, embarrassing moments, vulnerable parts. We all try to guard something.

So being told that your poker face sucks? It can make you feel totally paranoid. You think... Omg. I thought I was hiding this. I tried so hard to hide this.

But clearly I wasn't hiding. They saw right through me. Am I always so easy to read?

Do people know all my secrets, everything that makes me nervous and embarrassed, and scared? Do they just look at me and think "They're so dumb to put up that front, we can totally tell how you really think and feel."

Do people look at me and laugh? Do they joke about me behind my back?

And so on.

Basically, when someone comes out to you and you go "Thank god! ABOUT TIME!!"... You're being a prick.

They're opening up to you. They are being vulnerable. They are trusting you with something.

This moment... Your reaction is important. If you want to be a good ally, and support this person coming out to you.

Your job is to provide reassurance. Support. A listening ear. Your love.

Your job isn't to gloat, or dismiss their fears. Your job is not to induce panic, paranoia, or humiliate them by making them feel dumb.

They may be scared of your reaction. Respect that fear, however irrational it is. It doesn't matter if you're queer too, or think you're the best ally in the world, this moment can still be something they've been nervous about. Don't shit on it by smugly gloating about your excellent queerdar.

Yes, you can be honest, if they desperately want to know if you suspected anything. You can gently tell them that you saw some signs. But really, this moment isn't the time to humiliate them or freak them out. Be sensitive.

....

.... Oops sorry, got lost in the ramble 😅😅!!

Uh... Where was I? Yes.

Basically what I wanted to say with this post is that...

Maddie. Freaking. Buckley!!!! You are the love of my life, does not matter that you are fictional. You're my freaking GOAT anyway. I'm... weak.

Because her reaction to Buck's coming out?!!!

Jdjdjjdjdbndnd.

It actually makes me emotional. It was so perfect. It was so full of love!!!

Because yes, she totally knew, had known for years...

AND she kept that knowledge to herself!!!!

Because she'd seen Buck, the closet he was so lost inside in, and she loves Buck... So she wanted to be there for him.

And she knew that it's not easy to come to terms with one's queerness. That it can be tough and scary.

So she thought "What can I do to help? How can I do my best to support my queer brother?"...

And rolled up her sleeves. She researched this. She found out it's not helpful to press someone, that it's important to be patient. She looked up the experiences of queer people coming out. What is helpful! What isn't! She came up with a plan.

Yes, she totally did. I'm telling you, she fucking studied for this test. To make sure her reaction would be freaking perfect, and help Buck on this journey.

Because she did everything right. She realised that letting Buck know how obvious his bisexuality was to her... Might be detrimental to his well-being, and their relationship.

She understood that it wasn't important that she'd known.

That it wasn't her time to brag about how clever she was, to have seen this coming, but to be sensitive of this struggle, to respect this struggle.

So when the day finally came... She was surprised, yes, to realise Buck had been on a date with a man.

I mean, it came out of the blue, right? Buck had been so oblivious to his closet. She'd missed the moment Buck became aware of the closet, and immediately ran on a date.

She thought Buck was still in the dark, so him suddenly going on a date with a man never even entered her mind as an option.

Then she realised... OH. He IS there? He has figured this out. He's coming out to me, now?

Okay!!! Let's follow the game plan then.

Be sensitive. Don't act like you were totally expecting this day to come.

The identity of the date? That was the real surprise. I mean, just watch the previous scene in which Buck talks about Tommy and Eddie with her.

He does rant about Tommy, but c'mon... It's really Eddie's attention Buck craves.

It's basically a re-telling of Buck's love tangle with Veronica, Taylor and Albert. Buck told himself he wanted Veronica, and that's why it bothered him that Albert "broke the bro code".... In a towel! Except, the one who Buck wouldn't shut up about... Was Albert.

And Maddie sees that it's happening AGAIN. Wow... Her brother really has no idea WHO he is actually crushing on.

Okay, she thinks. Does not matter now! The coming out is the important part, so let's roll with it. Focus, Maddie! Get it right.

And she did. She was patient. She was supportive. She sae that Buck was trying to run from the topic of sexuality like it was a total nonevent that he'd been on a date with a man...

So she was like "Hey, let's just slow down a bit. Let's acknowledge this moment. I now know that you were on a date with a man. You don't need to continue this pronoun game.

Okay. Let's talk about it being a first date with a man, and what this step means to you. You can tell me."

Really, she was so lovely. She didn't gloat about already knowing, she didn't stress him out by being overly emotional - by acting like this was the biggest event to happen on Earth.

She calmed him down.

She made sure to let him know that this didn't scare her, or make her feel awkward.

That she wanted him to talk about this with her. That she was excited for him, and supportive, and wanted to know more, and that it was okay to date a man.

That she would want to know about Buck's relationships with men just like she'd wanted to know abour her relationships with women.

She let him know that she was there for him, ready to listen, and glad to hear he'd been on a date with a man.

That this didn't change a thing, that she would accept and welcome Buck's male partners just as she had always accepted the women he'd dated. The gender made no difference, she was fine with whoever Buck chose to date.

And she also made sure the mood didn't turn too heavy. She let him know that this was great news, something worth celebrating. That she was excited to see him enter this new chapter in his life, and experience new things.

And that she wanted to learn of it, she wanted him to share this new stuff, let her in his life. So tell me more about this hot pilot!

Jdjbdbdnndnd!!!

Really, she was fucking fantastic. This was such a lovely scene. I love Maddie, she's my favorite. I need a tissue, I'm crying.

Oh and also. It wasn't just great writing. The acting here just blew me away. I love them. So skilled, so lovely, so funny, so human. Brilliant, beautiful, both of them. Fucking impeccable.

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