#lost contact with my best friend
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Life's been crazy my goodness
#the absence recap no one asked for#uhh my gf broke up w me lol#i was a nun in a musical#and then a ladybug in a play#which was crazy because this one guy in the cast was creepy af but the law hasn't done shit yet#because why would they#it took me two horrendous situationships with men to realize that i don't even like them#so yeah i'm a lesbian#lost contact with my best friend#that one hurts#oh i'm a cheerleader now#and my ex gf is coming back for the community musical and i haven't lost feelings so that'll be a rollercoaster#we're doing something rotten tho so that's cool#that's about it#wonder talks about dumb shit <33
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#my childhood best friend who friendship dumped me in public over a year ago and then blocked me on insta eight months later#(when i had not contacted her in any way - to be clear)#just requested to follow me........#.....did she hear i lost my job from her dad (who would've heard it from my dad) or is this just a dark-sided coincidence#personal
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remember landlines. those were fun
#my parents didn't let me use a phone till i was 16 so i could only talk to my best friend on the landline for the longest time#literally twirling the cord around my finger and shit#good times...i dont have her phone number now memorized but i still remember her old landline number#should randomly call it one of these days and see if it's still up#my other best friends i just completely lost contact with for two years after moving states cause they didn't have phones. our moms were all#pretty brutal looking back#liveblogging.pdf
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"He...just gave me this look"
"What 'look'?"
"That look where he sought for comfort...sought for some sort of closeness一 shelter and security...like I could feel his beautiful eyes carry this overbearing weight of sorrow and melancholy behind them...just seeking for some sort of light and liberation...like he was pleading for some form of一 affection and endearment"
"...Like he saw the stars themselves move when we made eye contact...so intently focused and luring..."
#idk idk this was just plaguing my mind for some reason#I was thinking about Miguel with this one#like he saves you from a Green Goblin variant and immediately gets lost in your eyes when you both make eye contact#(away from the ongoing chaos and danger of course lol)#and your best friend obviously pries and pries and teases you for being in love with a grumpy prude “super hero”#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara#atsv
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warmup teen jamie i got carried away w (used a reference that looked a lot like him kjndfs)
#shoutout to my friend a couple years ago who#whenever i'd post teen jamie she (17 then) would lose her mind#bc 'OH NO HES HOTTTTT'#im talking awooga jaw drops to floor cartoon trumpet noises#i lost contact with her because we were *twitter mutuals* (godd forever ago) and i am never touching that site again#but i hope shes living her best life.#✖ mun art.#anyway i love how jamie is my most swooned over oc.#✖ queue.
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what you didn’t see with the sg reunion on tenrou island is jet running 17 laps around the island and droy politely asking lily to move for the impending chaos and then the two of them tackling her to the ground and nuzzling and gajeels just staring like ew <- wants a hug too
#there’s the one post that’s like why does jet and droy hug eachother instead of levy in that scene and like idk guys#if i lost my best friend for nearly a decade and next to me was our mutual best friend there to ground me i would probably hug or like#physical contact#like basically seeing a ghost and not knowing if it’s real like i think it’s a completely normal reaction#fairy tail#jet#droy#levy mcgarden#gajeel redfox#shadowgear#shadow gear#team shadowgear#team shadow gear#onx rambles#headcanon#head canon#hc
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you ever think about how kids can get their entire lives uprooted and be forced to move hours away from everything and everyone they know often with no way to contact their friends ever again and this is just seen as normal and not at all traumatizing
#I get that it’s not always a thing that the parents can control sometimes you need to move for money or safety or whatever other reasons#but like . I don’t think people pay enough attention to what kids have to go through when moving houses#at least teenagers and sometimes pre teens have phones and can still contact friends but kids who don’t (or shouldn’t) have phones ??#like they just never get to talk to their best friend again . and that’s just seen as normal? and okay?#kids should really be included in conversations about moving more than they are tbh.#and deserve a hell of a lot more support during moves than they get#my family moved when I was 8 due to being displaced by a hurricane and I lost contact with two of my best friends of like 3-4 years#aka half of my life at the time and most of my life that I remembered#and part of me still misses them!!! over 10 years later!!!#I never saw them again!!! it’s fucked up!!!
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don’t you love it when ur friend forgets about u and ignores ur existence the second she’s near her best friend
#/sarcastic#but ugh i feel like an idiot#like yes i understand she’s ur best friend ur super close u know each others deepest darkest secrets u have inside jokes etc#but why the fuck are u completely ignoring me??#no eye contact not a single word to me and i have not idea what u guys are talking ab and im RIGHT HERE#like i know im short but i know u can fucking see me#the past few weeks have been nice we’ve hung out a few times and talked and it’s good#but the second her bestie is there is like i don’t exist#like am i missing something?? i know her bestie doesn’t hate me bc she said hi and hugged me#but she was also low key ignoring me and not including me in the conversation so i’m also annoyed with her#tbh from now on i won’t initiate convos with her like idc im sick of feeling like she’s only friends with me as a last resort#bc fun fact: we didn’t talk much for about 2 years and then out of the blue asks if we want to hang out months after she had a fight with#someone and lost all her friends except like 3#so idc i don’t wanna drag this on anymore#ok rant over time to enjoy my boba#ani’s stuff
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you bite onto bitterness
more bitterness than what’s reasonable
because I know you know
what you’ve done
is so much more
than anything I am capable of
you use it as a shield to isolate me
deny responsibility
you don’t have the gall to admit
you have hallowed me out like a tree
I am frying like the sun
I am barely blooming
sinking in your manipulation
desperate for a drop
just one
#poems on tumblr#spilled poetry#poetry#poets on tumblr#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#spilled words#writing#lost love#my words#alone again#ex best friend#ex bestie#ex lovers#secret lovers#prison#no contact#rawrambles#bitterness#pouring my heart out#i still miss you#toxic friendship#no closure
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THAT WILL ALWAYS MAKE ME SMILE
THE LIL DUDE AND THE WAY HE SITS
IT KILLS ME
#i love asks#my pretty boyyyy#This el gee bee tea is doing meh 🤷♀️#School isn’t great#We just got assigned seats in math and I’m right behind my exes best friend#She and I used to be close but we lost contact a year ago#And now everything is just awkward
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August 15, 2015
#north lauderdale fl#phhhoto#this was when my friend Jackie threw me and Alyssa a late surprise birthday party :(#bc we didn't get to spend it together#it was so sweet and unexpected#her gifts were so personal too#she hand painted a glass bottle with a sweet message on it#to this day i have that bottle on my bookshelf#still can't believe the awful falling out i had with Alyssa lmao#i guess it wasn't that surprising#and Jackie... well i just lost contact w her#but we didn't have much in common these days anyway#i wish her the best#she was a sweet friend and i wish we'd spent more time together back then
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jesus christ i've just been catching up on everything going on at ur workplace rn and im so so sorry bby what the FUCK. it's super understandable that with all of this u're in over ur head, so u better not be worrying abt not answering asks !!!!!!! u're doing so so good dealing with this bs; it'll be over soon, i just know u're gonna nail that interview & u'll get the safe, kind & organized work environment u deserve im manifesting it so fucking hard <333 also wishing ur boss a bomb in her cereals
there’s been a really heart wrenching family tragedy involving a horrible miscarriage as well so i have A Lot on my plate rn but i still feel bad for not writing as much 😭
#a1yaaaa#answered#my cousin’s girlfriend was 5 months pregnant and the baby’s heart stopped beating but since she was so far along she had to#had to be provoked and had to go through the pain of childbirth knowing the baby she was birthing was already dead#they had remodelled their entire house to make it baby proof and the baby room was decorated and they had picked a name#it’s her second miscarriage in a row#except this time the baby was growing in her fallopian tubes and i don’t know how the hell the doctors missed it for give entire months#medical neglect in my opinion. they’re absolutely devastated and it makes me feel ill to see them in so much pain#my cousin has been more like a brother to me my whole life everyday from when we were babies to teenagers we spent like everyday together i#was more at his house than i was at mine and he was my best friend and confidant and even though we kind of lost contact in the last few#years he’s still my brother and knowing he’s in this much pain and sorrow really fucks me up
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patron saint of being hot
and a lot of skill and really interesting anecdotes about your life and having professors that give me second hand anxiety bc they seem kinda awful and mean. But mainly just being hot
ty! admittedly my professors are not that bad, ive only had one bad professor that was more incompetent that awful. if you want another anecdote, ill tell you about the only teacher i truly despise to this day (on the tags, cuz its a very dark story)
ask gamerino
#i retook that course with a different professor and passed expectacularly. now for the horrendous teacher#on this story we have vomiting injuries and attempted suicide so watch out#in my last two years of our highschool equivalent i had PE with a teacher that loved to play favorites#if u were on a sport team you were immediately given special treatment and as you might already tell i wasnt. i hate ball sports#i loved exercising but i dreaded PE because of her#i have a condition that made my periods incredibly painful and meself anemic so those weeks were hellish#even though i was a good student she would NEVER let me sit out the navette test. even with a doctors note#i would do my best and then literally go vomit and pass out in the bathroom cuz if i did it on the court i would be berated#that wasnt enough to earn my absolute hatred tho. we now move to the worst day of my life to this day#it was just getting to school from lunch (we could go home and have it there) and i had PE#when i get a text#it was my best friend being cryptic thanking me for being a friend and saying goodbyes#he was going to commit suicide#i absolutely lost my shit as one does and went on a rampage#i couldnt get in contact with anyone (his ex stepdad was abusive and isolated his family) and they didnt let me get out of school#i was desperate and my friends were trying to help me but i didnt know what to do. i called my mom and she called his school and then i just#sat and waited with a friend. while the other classmates did the navette test#the minutes passed. i got message from my bffs number and it was his mom telling me she found him just in time#i broke then. i started sobbing and screaming and scratching my arms and my friend held me and tried to keep me from hurting myself#some other classmates came concerned and tried to help#then the teacher came. she just looked at one of the volleyball girlies who shrugged#she didnt ask if i was ok or if i needed to call someone or go somewhere. she just asked if i planning to do the test#i said no and she left and i kept crying#when i felt stable enough i went to see what had happened and she just failed me. i couldnt give the test any other day and that was that#she simply didnt care#i had to calm myself down while writing this. its no use getting emotional over a teacher that didnt care#but i hate her. she made the worst day of my life worse and she doesnt know and doesnt care#that memory fuels me to never surrender to indifference and make the pain in this world worse#my bff got help he needed after that and our bond is stronger than ever. he never pulled something like that again#thats the story! not gonna tag this babes
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one of those crying in the shower kind of days
#my 'best friend' stood me up today#and by stood me up i don't mean canceled last minute i mean didn't show up and only responded to my calls and texts after 45 min#why? she was hanging out with some guy (she met him last week. he's not a christian.) and lost track of time#she's also initiated no contact with me over the last few weeks#the explenation was she thought i was busy with my thesis. as if you can't check in on someone when they're busy#she also gosted me for 3 days (like a month ago??) cause she was asked to share at student group and i couldn't go CAUSE I WAS SICK#I'm just so tired of it at this point#but it's also made me realise i dont really have any close friends#i have lots of friends. sure. and i trust them too. but it's not the kind of close where i can write to them when I've got a problem#like maybe I'd tell them live if they asked me? but I wouldn't really write to them it would just be weird#and so who do I tell that I met S's parents yesterday and even though so many things have happened since then already thats the only one#I can think about???? or that he actually CALLED ME afterwards specifically to tell me what they thought of our church#or that his mom apparently asked him if our relationship was still weird and he said 'yes' and I've been overthinking it cause i thought we#were finally okay and normal and genuinely just friends?#or that his mom said my look is that i dress vintage and it made me SO HAPPY!! that's my look!!! that's how I'm recognisable!!!#the answer is nobody. i have no one to tell :(#mine#s#I'm sorry I guess I had to vent this prolly turned out really really long
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Have you guys met dogdog? She’s literally the toy of all time
#to be loved is to be changed <3#like I said: the quote of all time#she’s my best friend#for context she has been recovered multiple times because she was so loved she was falling apart#she used to go everywhere with me to the point that she had a passport with our contact details in case she got lost#leg rambles
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That feeling when u try to search up your childhood bestie on social media and you feel like an FBI agent chasing a cold case
#NO FR you guys don't understand so my middle school best friend wasn't allowed to have social media or a phone back#so we lost contact after then and i decided to see if i could find her fb account bcus like there's no way she doesn't have one now right?#just genuine curiosity#and I manage to find a fb with her exact first and last name with the right primary school and high and with the right birth month#and a pfp that looks just like her#but heres the thing#the timeline doesn't match up#i looked at her posts and one shes had that account since 2009 (we were in 6th grade in 2013)#and she talks as if she was in middle School back in 2003 she posted about getting her driver's license in 2014#which makes me think idk maybe this isn't her and the name is just a coincidence but alllll the info matches up#like how much of a coincidence is that#anyways it just gave me more questions im giving up on this lol if she ever wants to reach out to me she can find me
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