#the absence recap no one asked for

[upside-down-sock-drawer]

Life's been crazy my goodness

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Tubbo's "Return" Summarized (Feb 22):

---Recap---

-Didn't realize he was gone for a week; thought it was only a day or so

-Has something he wants to do but doesn't know what it is; described himself as "having one piece missing"

-Insisted he is alive and human to an odd extent (implications that he is not fully human)

-May have canonized that the Streamer Awards was a dream he had during his absence

-Kept bringing up how Chayanne was supposed to protect him and failed; seemed very upset about it but also brushed it off as a joke when prompted

-Kept asking people who they think the worst egg parent is (has asked everyone he's talked to so far, including Cucurucho)

-Described feeling like his brain had been taken out of his skull and had the dust blown off it, leading to him being able to see and think clearly and at max capacity like never before (certain descriptions used are reminiscent of a lobotomy procedure)

-Described being dead as very calm, and waking up felt very warm (like when you're cozy in bed and don't want to get up yet)

-Wants to reinvent himself

---Behavioral Patterns---

-Hates loud noises

Showed fear and nervousness at the prospect of loud noises

Persistent noise not loud enough to cause ringing but enough to cause annoyance makes him highly irritable and aggressive

Ringing-induced noise (typically sudden) causes him to mentally tune out (when Cucurucho shot a gun next to him he had to lie down until his ears stopped ringing)

-Mood swings wildly and to different levels of emotional elevation

-General aggressive aloofness at what's going on around him (like he's excited to do things but incredibly detached)

-Impulsive decision making; moves on to the next thing very quickly (saw a random house, decided it was his, and promptly forgot about it seconds later)

-Still retains core aspects of his personality, but with differing behavioral patterns

Noted by Fit and Chayanne to have amplified emotions (joy means extreme joy, boredom means extreme boredom, etc)

Sad when hearing Sunny was alone on her birthday, salty about the Create mod not being unlocked, and generally acted like himself but as if he was on drugs

-Gets incredibly defensive when he feels left out (Sunny and Chayanne kept having private conversations from him and he got very cross)

-Irritability gets quickly squandered when called out in some cases

Had moments of lucidity where he'd ask himself "why did I do that?"

Yelled at Chayanne to wake up in an unusually aggressive manner before Sunny told him to calm down, to which he insisted he was calm but complied and went to sit down quietly

-Strong sense of justice; willing to cross strange lines to enforce it

Incredibly upset upon learning Richarlyson destroyed Leo's garden and insisted it be fixed by Richas and only Richas

Couldn't understand why Sunny wanted to fix Leo's broken garden when it was Richas who destroyed it

Was willing to stand over Richas' bed and wait for him to wake up just to make him fix the garden

-Seemingly inconsequential actions that most would let go is something he feels very strongly about

Believes that letting go of the little things is a detriment as they will build up and eventually destroy you (most likely a product of unresolved feelings from before he died)

[horseimagebarn]

hello friends and welcome to the horseimagebarn weekly interaction recap where i respond to many of the comments reblogs and asks i received in the past week it has been a while and i appreciate endlessly the happiness i have borne witness to due to my return i shall do my best to continue serve you all as curator of the horseimagebarn

which by the way i do appreciate all of the love i receive in reblogs and asks and comments more than you will ever know and i want to in my heart respond to every single one but i do not want to turn this account into some kind of vanity project and clog everything up with my own responses to praise of me especially when i have nothing else useful or entertaining to add other than my many humble thanks so know that even though i dont always answer i really do read every single reblog and comment and ask i get and it is indescribable the happiness it gives me to know that my stupid horse posts have such a positive impact on other peoples lives and even though i dont say it to every single person i do love all of you dearly

anyway i will respond to things posted both this week and what i have seen from the period of my absence so nothing is missed

you know it brother

this gave me a good chuckle thank you

i do love pigeons i am happy to find that there are three hidden in my post

this is from before i vanished but i hope you feel better now

there are no words i can say to properly alleviate the grief i am sure you are feeling but i hope you find it comforting to know that because of your submission he was loved by many more than he will ever know and i feel very lucky to forever count him among the horseimagebarn horses

literary students rise up

i was not inspired by actual image ids rather it was those twitter accounts that post reaction images with descriptions full of somewhat disparate words meant to help people who are searching for a specific image that led me to this concept i have considered using this style of posting as a type of cool storytelling medium on another blog but i think i need to improve my photoshop skills first to make it really work

being high either shows you the beauty of the world or the evil of it

it is comforting for me to write the posts as well i havent had as much time for creative writing recently especially poetry and this is close enough to scratch the itch i suppose i really enjoy comparing it to a form of literary doodling it pleases me

i am glad to have been of service

maybe that is why the ancient greeks believed horses a creation of poseidon maybe they saw it far before any of us

shoutout monkeywikis cats

[alwritey-aphrodite]

An arranged marriage au sick fic inspired by the lovely and talented @beybaldes (as always)

After you didn’t show up at the academy for a whole day, Sejanus was a little worried. When you didn’t show up for the rest of the week, he was downright terrified. None of your other peers seemed to share the same anxiety, waving away your absence as if it was a regular occurrence, as if you haven’t had perfect attendance for your entire life up until this point.

At the end of the week, instead of walking straight back to his house after classes were finished, Sejanus turned in the opposite direction and headed towards your estate, far too restless to wait and see if anyone knew if you were ok. At any rate, he didn’t think he’d be able to sleep if he didn’t see you with his own eyes, having spent the last few nights tossing and turning and getting less and less sleep the longer you were gone.

Knocking on your front door, Sejanus was a ball of nerves, suddenly worried he’s overstepping or intruding, but before he can turn and run, your mother is opening the door. He doesn’t even need to ask before she’s settling her face into a gentle sort of smile, the way someone would look at an injured child or an orphaned puppy.

“She’s up in her room, if you’d like to see her,” your mother steps back to give him room to enter the house, “she’s been sicker than ever but seems to be on the mend, so I’d still recommend keeping a bit of distance.” She winks like she knows Sejanus will do the opposite of following her advice, and it takes all of his willpower not to sprint up the stairs to reach your room.

He knocks before he enters, more gentle than downstairs, but he doesn’t wait for your answer before creeping inside. It’s dark, the window shades cracked slightly to let in a little sunlight, and the air is heavy and a little stale. Still, Sejanus has never been happy to enter a room in his entire life.

“Come to visit me on my deathbed,” you croak out, doing your best to prop yourself up onto the mountain of pillows taking up a majority of your bed.

“I was worried,” he tells you, still feeling worried at the sickly sight of you. If this is you looking and feeling better, Sejanus’s heart aches to wonder how you were doing before. He hesitates only slightly before sitting on the edge of the bed next to you, waiting for a scolding from you that never comes.

Using the back of his hand, he presses against your forehead, feeling the tacky warmth and nodding to himself. Your fever is all but nonexistent at this point, but the stuffiness of your room definitely isn’t helping you recover.

“Do you mind if I crack the window?” He asks, poised to move but willing to stay if that’s what you want. When you nod, turning your head away from him as you clear your throat, he rushes over to open the windows as quickly as he can, making sure to open the curtains as well, knowing you’ve been laying in the dark for the past few days.

When he sits back down, he can’t help but trace the curve of your jaw with his fingertips, needing to touch you after so long apart, needing to remind himself that you’re alright after being consumed with worry all week long. He knows it’s really none of his business, but he wishes you would have told him, would have let him come over and take care of you. He wouldn’t mind getting sick, not if it meant spending time with you.

“Has everything fallen to shambles in my absence?” You ask, a teasing tilt to your voice that makes Sejanus’s heart flutter. Your skin is shiny with sweat and still a slightly sickly color, but he could still swear he’s never seen anyone as beautiful as you. He catches you up on everything that happened at the academy while you were gone, omitting the complete lack of concern from your peers at your week long absence.

“Your hair is getting longer,” you reach out to gently tug on one of the curls by his neck, completely unprompted, once he’s finished with his recap of the week, “it looks nice.” It makes him feel a little sick, the fact that you might look at him, admire him, the same way he does to you. You let your hand trail down his neck and the slope of his shoulder, tracing the length of his arm until you can intertwine your fingers together. He’s lucky that it’s still a little dark in your room, so you can’t see the fact that he’s starting to look a little feverish from all your attention.

“I’m sorry if I get you sick,” you tell him, making no move to drop his hand. The both of you know that your illness has run its course and that just holding his hand won’t transfer it to him, but it seems like the right thing to say, even though he went out of his way to see you, knowing that he very well could get sick.

“It doesn’t matter to me,” he tells you as sincerely as possible, squeezing your hand like it’s your own secret language, a way to say things you can’t possibly put into words, “it would be worth it.”

[couldawouldashoulda50]

From Completely Different Worlds - William Nylander

The Sweden Chapter - Part One

A/N - This is a continuation of the above mentioned series between William Nylander and Loren Girard. Link for the all previous chapters are here.

it is also an early birthday submission for my dear @misshoneyimhome in advance of her actual birthday in October. Since she has been a such a big part of this William x Loren journey, I wanted to dedicate these final parts to wrap up this story (for now at least) to her. I just hope I can get Part Two done in time 😉💕

As ever, thank you for taking the time to read, like, send in comments and asks. It's beyond encouraging and is very much appreciated. I hope you like these final parts.

Warnings/Notes - this goes along the lines of the Leafs, and William himself stating he suffered from migraines at the start of the playoffs. Additional warnings based on symptoms (severe headaches, nausea, vision impairment), profanity, allusions to sex/smut

Word Count 8.6k (sorry) 18+ only please.

Recap - In March of 2024, after meeting at the Easter Seals Skate charity event in Toronto, a bittersweet romance unfolded between hockey superstar William and personal support worker Loren. Their chemistry was undeniable, and they quickly fell for each other, creating a whirlwind between them that felt so incredibly right.

For Loren, each encounter with William felt like it might be her last with the hockey star. She approached their time together with a mix of excitement and caution, trying to balance a level of detachment. She knew his star was too big, too bright for a small-town girl working two jobs to pay the bills. Yet, she couldn't help but fully embrace the amazing person he proved to be.

As the NHL season progressed, William's performance on the ice—which had already been declining—became increasingly noticeable. The mounting pressure left him at a crossroads. Under intense scrutiny from both himself and the media, William made the difficult decision to limit distractions and focus solely on his game.

William and Loren parted ways with heavy hearts. Despite her attempts to remain detached from William's magnetism, the breakup deeply affected Loren, leaving her full of sadness. William, though seemingly despondent while delivering his decision to Loren, maintained a cool demeanor afterward, as if nothing outside the arena bothered him. Despite his scoring slump in the final stretch of games, William had already surpassed his career-best point total by a double-digit margin. He finished just two points shy of 100—an impressive season for him overall.

And so it went, the Toronto Maple Leafs would be facing the Boston Bruins in Round One of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The city seemed nervous but hopeful the team would be able to trounce the Bruins and make it to the second round of the playoffs for the second year in a row.

April, 2024.

As the season drew to a close, Loren couldn't bring herself to watch the Maple Leafs' final games when she turned them on for Gary during her shift at the group home. The team struggled against their remaining opponents and William’s lack-luster performances added even more discourse, leaving everyone seemingly wondering what had gone wrong in the end.

As always in Toronto, playoff season evoked either excitement about the possibility of winning more than two rounds or dread, as if the team were already doomed to failure.

Just before the playoffs began, Toronto media reported that William, citing an undisclosed issue, didn't skate with the team for their final practice held in Boston. His absence sparked speculation and worry among fans and sports analysts alike. The concern was particularly intense given that William did not seem to be playing through an injury and hadn't missed a single regular season game in years.

The timing of William's mysterious absence, coupled with his recent poor performance, fueled rumors about his physical state. Some speculated about a possible injury, while others wondered if the coach, Sheldon Keefe, was so livid about William’s poor performance in game 82 that Keefe was possibly benching him for Game One of the playoffs.

The speculation intensified when William was notably absent from the team's morning skate on the day of the crucial playoff opener. Fans and media alike were left wondering about the true nature of his situation, with theories ranging from a hidden injury to illness. The uncertainty surrounding William's status added an extra layer of tension to an already high-stakes game, leaving everyone questioning how the team would fare without one of its star players.

As the playoff game approached, the uncertainty surrounding William's status cast a shadow over the team's abilities to compete against their rival. The lack of transparency from the Maple Leafs organization only served to intensify the speculation, leaving everyone to wonder about the true nature of William's absence and its potential impact on the team's playoff performance.

As the media cries of “Where’s Willy” saturated every sports channel, Loren tried - and failed - to not get sucked into all of the inflammatory opinions that somehow showed up in some of her social media feeds. She tried to stay off of her phone altogether but with her new self-employment venture hitting the ground running, the use of her cell phone was a necessary evil.

As she scrolled through her notifications, a headline caught her eye: "William Nylander's Mysterious Absence: Injury or Something More?"

It certainly got her rattled.

Despite her best efforts to move on, she couldn't help but worry about William. The thought of him potentially being injured or facing some other issue made her realize that, despite everything, she still cared deeply for him.

She quickly reminded herself “not your sink, not your dishes” and resumed getting Gary ready to take him for a stroll in his wheelchair.

But sometimes, the nagging worry about what was going on with William got the better of Loren. She couldn’t stop her mind from thinking about why he appeared to be MIA at that moment. Even if she wanted to forget about it, she couldn’t because every Toronto media outlet that was in her feed was talking incessantly about it.

Later that evening as she slid into her bed, the “Where the F*ck is William Nylander” headline appeared on a reel for a popular hockey podcast that Loren occasionally listened to. The two ex-hockey players further fueled rumours surrounding William’s absence with saying he may have hurt his back in the “champagne room” of a Miami strip-club while celebrating the end of the season.

Loren’s heart dropped and shattered as she visualized William plowing a beautiful and stacked bombshell in the back room of a Florida strip bar. It was one possibility out of many, and Loren had to accept that.

Maybe it would have been better to have never met William in the first place.

Loren tossed and turned in her bed, unable to shake the intrusive thoughts about William. She knew she shouldn't care, that their relationship was over, but her heart refused to listen to reason. As she stared at the ceiling, she was completely consumed by regret and self-doubt.

The bitch of the situation was she still cared about what was going on with him. It was so out of character for him to miss a game, let alone the all-important Game One of the playoffs, and that fact gnawed at her conscience.

"Fuck's sake…" Loren muttered aloud.

With severe trepidation, she reached for her phone, her fingers hovering over William's contact information.

Loren typed a short message, apologizing for texting him, let alone sending it in the middle of the night. She simply wanted to know if he was going to be okay.

As she hit send, a wave of anxiety washed over her. She placed her phone face down on the nightstand, trying to calm the ache that had settled into her stomach, as she played the whole "will he/won't he" game in her head.

Loren lay there, cheeks blazing, mind racing and becoming more agitated with herself for being so fucking foolish with getting tied up with William. Why the fuck did she still care?

That question plagued her endlessly.

And she came back to the same conclusion. That's just simply who she is and what she does. She cares about people.

Just because William was more or less a memory at this point, she still needed to hear that everything would be okay with him—and hopefully soon.

Eventually, somehow, something in her musings lulled her to sleep.

The next morning, Loren awoke feeling tired and unsettled. She rolled onto her side and stared into the emptiness of her bed and throughout her bedroom. The quietness in her home, which she normally loved, bothered her this morning. She couldn't quite place why she felt so irritated—she had a much-needed day off with no pressing events on her calendar. She was caught up with errands and bill payments. She slept well, once she fell asleep that is. She had nothing in front of her that day to warrant her crusty mood.

Then it all came flooding back in her mind. Thoughts of William possibly blowing out his back after being serviced at a strip club. His poor performance. His absence. The fact that he still had never left her brain since they met, hung out, and broke up—with everything in between those moments still lingering too. She then remembered the text message she sent him.

Oh fuck… the text message….shit…..

Loren coached herself in her head. Okay, Loren. Just be prepared. Please be prepared that he may have blocked you. He may never respond. Please. Do not spiral if there’s no response.

She swiped her phone open. The text message icon appeared, indicating multiple messages received. They all had William's name attached to them, with the first messages being sent not long after she had fallen asleep.

Anxiously, she read each one. She had to read the messages multiple times as her sudden increase in blood pressure made her head ache and her eyes blur.

His messages were sent with a small period of time between each one.

He told her how glad he was that she reached out.

He told her he was okay but he had some “medical issues” going on

Then he told her not to worry.

Loren slowly laid back down resting her head on her pillow and closed her eyes. She laid her phone, screen side down once again next to her on the bed.

Placing her hand over her heart that was galloping, she tried to get a hold of every thought running wild in her head. Images that were a mix of intimate moments spent together and then the low moments that came when he left that fateful morning with his sweet dogs happily in tow.

Her phone buzzed and chimed which made her stomach lurch. It’s not that she thought it was William, or even hoped it was him. It was the fact that she was already overwhelmed with an influx of unsolicited emotions, and it was barely 8am.

Loren hesitated for a moment before picking up her phone again. She knew she should check it, but part of her wanted to stay in this bubble of uncertainty just a little longer. Taking a deep breath, she flipped the phone over and glanced at the screen.

It was another message from William. Her heart raced as she read his words: "Can I call you?"

Loren stared at the screen. More dots bounced as William continued to type. She set her phone back down, and pressed her hands against her face. She really did not like that William could send her reeling like this.

For fuck sakes Loren….this is bullshit. He’s just a fucking hockey player. He’s not a God…stop acting like he is.

Her internal reprimand gave her enough piss and vinegar to remind her that she’s got a fucking backbone.

She slowly typed that he could call, her thumb hovered over the “send’ button for an extended period of time. She hit the button before she could talk herself out of it.

Within seconds, her phone began to ring.

Loren sat up in bed with her legs crossed, straightened her back, took a deep breath and tapped to accept the call from William.

"Hey," William's voice came through, soft and hesitant. There was a brief pause before he continued, "I'm sorry for calling so early. I sorta saw that you read my messages so….yeah. How are you?”

Loren's breath caught in her throat, her initial resolve already beginning to falter.

“Good, William. I’m good. I’m sorry to hear about - …if - that you’re not doing well,” Loren’s words stumbled a little as she spoke. She could feel heat blotching her neck and her cheeks were blazing red.

“Yeah - it’s not great. I can’t really talk about it much right now but I’ll be ok.”

“I’m glad, William. Hoping you’ll be cleared soon…give Pasta a little run for his money.”

William chuckled at Loren referencing his good friend and fellow number 88 for the Bruins, David Pastrňák.

“That’s my plan.”

There was a hesitation at William’s end but despite her desire to avoid awkward pauses, she simply waited for him to speak.

“So, I was wondering if I could ask a big….I mean - a huge favour, really. I know I’m probably the last person you would want to help but I’m really hoping you can.”

“That’s not true. If I can, I’d be happy to help you out.”

The warmth in Loren’s response made William’s heart crack.

“So, the stuff I’m going through sort of prevents me from getting around on my own sometimes. I’m in Boston right now so I’ve got the medical staff nearby but I think I might need help when I get back to Toronto. There’s kind of a lot of stuff going on right now and I need someone close to me that I can trust and keep everything private.”

If they were on a video call, William would have immediately seen Loren's confused expression.

“…..okay….so - what exactly can I do to help…?” Loren asked cautiously. She had no idea where this was going.

“The thing is part of what’s happening involves - what can I call it…”

Loren thought about what he might mean. “Like do you need….personal care?”

“Yeah….exactly. I know that sounds kind of, I don’t know…like something else. The thing is, part of what happens when I have migraines…I tend to….well, like nothing stays down….”

“Vomit…?” Loren clarified.

“Pretty much, yeah. I just need some help getting through the next 4 or 5 days maybe? I know how bad it probably sounds with me asking you this. I mean….I’ve wanted to talk to you anyway but -”

“I get it…” Loren wasn’t sure if she wanted to sound curt or not, but she didn’t want to hear that “he’s been meaning to call.”

Loren rubbed her forehead with her fingers. “Hmmm…let me see what I can do. When do you get back?”

“Tonight. There’s kind of a lot to explain -,” William paused for a moment, unsure how to broach the next subject. “There’s going to be a camera crew around me at some point this week as well. Fucking shitty timing.”

Loren just shook her head. This was all too strange.

Loren chuckled. “Jesus William, I’m not even going to ask…but I swear this shit can only happen to you.”

This is exactly why William often missed Loren. She could poke fun at life a little and ease some of the tension. That’s what he needed right now.

She heard his hallmark giggle softly through the phone before adding “Fuck - tell me about it.”

“Well, okay….I can’t say yes right at the moment. I’ll see if I can juggle some stuff around. I’ll message you back when I know more.”

“Or…you can call. I’d like the company - if you can….things have been really fucking shit lately.”

She rolled her eyes mockingly but then felt bad. “I can imagine,” she said, sounding as sympathetic and supportive as she could.

There was a pause - so Loren decided to wrap the conversation up. “Alright then, I’ll be in touch one way or the other once I know more. Take it easy William - ok?”

“Wait - Loren….look, I’m s - I’m really sorry.” William’s hesitation between his words and his low tone softened Loren a little more.

“William - you’ve not done anything wrong. There’s no need for an apology…. not in my mind anyway.”

“Yeah, but I am sorry for the way things turned out. Bad timing I guess.”

Loren wasn’t sure she believed in bad timing. Despite how she felt for him, she had faith that things happen in life the way they’re supposed to. Bad timing had nothing to do with it.

“Well, then…I’m sorry too William.” Loren paused again and then tried to sound upbeat. “Okay, let me get going on this and I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Hey - uh, thanks Loren. I really appreciate it….for sure, talk to you soon. Call, okay?”

Loren mumbled a half-assed acknowledgement before ending the call. Hanging her head, and then looking up at the ceiling, all she could mutter was “what the fuck - really?”

She flopped back on the bed. Her head was hurting and her stomach was a mess.

Her phone buzzed and chimed once more. Loren’s irritation was beginning to simmer.

Swear to God - if this is William again….I’m going to fucking scream….

It was William. He sent a picture he took of Loren, Pablo and Banksy on his couch that was taken weeks ago. She remembered that moment when the dogs were vying for her attention but never knew William had witnessed it, let alone taken a photo.

His caption read “I meant to send this to you awhile ago. Really great picture. Hoping you can come visit. The boys would be happy to see you.”

Seeing the still shot of a memory which William kept for whatever reason, helped soften her mood.

Hopping into the shower, she visualized her calendar for the next week, making mental moves in her head like a chess game. She had no idea why she was even doing this other than the simple fact she liked to help people in need, first and foremost.

Within the hour, schedules and plans had been altered, financing for the missed hours from work was accounted for, and she placed the call to William, asking him when he'd like her to come.

"Tonight, if possible?" was William's response. "I haven't been feeling that great today and this stuff might hit me harder when I get home," he added for clarification.

Loren was apprehensive, but she agreed to stay.

Later that day, after William confirmed he was en-route to the airport in Boston, he asked if she could start venturing down to his place.

It seemed that "fuck me" was her mantra that day. Loren repeated her mantra again and again for the entire drive down to Yorkville.

◇◈◆◇◈◇◆◈

William had already secured Loren parking in the visitors section at his building. Pulling into a well-lit spot, she hurriedly grabbed her bags from the trunk. Despite the level of security the underground garage had, she was still a little nervous being in a parking garage at night by herself.

Loren rode the elevator to the main lobby and approached the security desk to advise which tenant she was visiting and the make and model of her vehicle. Having seen her previously, one of officers, by the name of Warren, advised that William had requested that she be escorted and given entry to his place prior to his arrival. There had been a fog delay at Boston’s Logan Airport and William’s arrival was far behind schedule.

Warren smiled warmly at Loren as he handed her the key fob for William's unit and the two chatted amicably during the elevator ride to William’s floor. "Mr. Nylander mentioned you might be staying for a few days. It’ll be nice to see another friendly face around here.”

When it came to William’s day to day goings on, the only other people that would know what he did and who he saw would be the security officers at his building.

Loren chuckled and smiled, but felt a twinge of unease wondering if the guard was secretly implying something. She wondered how much the security staff had witnessed of William's personal life and visitors. As she stepped out of the elevator, she pushed the thought aside, focusing instead on sounds of Pablo and Banksy slight whimpers at the door. Loren asked Warren what time the dogs’ caregiver would have dropped them off, trying to understand if they would be desperate for to go outside. Warren informed her that the dogs had been dropped off about an hour ago, so there shouldn’t be an urgent need. Loren had never taken the pups out by themselves, and she wanted to ask William before she went ahead anyway.

Loren thanked Warren for his help as she unlocked the door to William's condo.

As she stepped into the apartment, Pablo and Banksy greeted her with enthusiastic yips, both standing on their hind legs to accept Loren’s affectionate rubs. Loren knelt down to pet them cooing at their sweet faces and accepting their voracious wet kisses in return. It was so bewildering to be standing in William’s place without him there, and she felt a little out of sorts.

She scouted out where it would be best to sleep, talking softly to Pablo and Banksy as they followed her room to room. It was difficult not to feel something as she carefully padded through William’s space. Loren tried to breath deeply to calm her nerves, but instead, she would catch a scent that belonged to William, and her stomach would flip once more.

Her phone chimed which startled her. William messaged her that he would be home soon. The messages were just a few words that barely made a sentence and it had her wondering what kind shape his was in.

Loren sat in the dimly lit living room with the memories of their first meeting, their first meal, their first glass of wine.

Their first kiss.

That kiss is why there are love songs, poetry, and Hallmark greeting cards.

It was a small part of what made her insides hurt that things ended between them. The other part was simply him. William’s exterior was one thing, but what lived inside his head is what she missed the most. He was a little bit of everything. Quirky. Nerdy for sure. Intelligent in many things but undeniably clueless with others. His curiosity. If he was interested in a topic, the long list of questions he asked were thoughtful and thought-provoking.

She had not experienced being around a man like William before. But now that she had, at the very least, she has a better idea of what she’s truly looking for in the future.

With her body stretched out on the couch, and both dogs lying lengthwise on her, Loren eventually drifted off to sleep.

With the sound of voices approaching from the hallway, the dogs leapt off of Loren’s body and bolted towards the door.

As Loren stood up from the couch, there were two things she was not expecting when the door opened.

The first was Calle Järnkrok leading William inside while carrying his bags, and the second was William's alarming appearance. His typically bright blue eyes were bloodshot and sunken, with dark circles underneath.

Loren greeted the men softly, taking William's bags and placing them by the hallway. The look of concern on her face was very apparent, and Calle quickly explained that the combination of fog delays and the flight itself had triggered a severe migraine in William. With the shuffling from airport, to plane, to car, the pain in his head had reached excruciating levels. Along with feeling terribly nauseous, his vision was blurred and compromised.

Calle thanked Loren for being there and taking over. He quickly mentioned instructions in William’s bag for his home care requirements as he headed for the door. It hurt for William to speak but he managed to thank Calle, his voice low, gravelly and almost slurred.

Once Calle had left, Loren suggested she help him into bed. William didn’t object, but he before he moved, he grabbed Loren’s hand and pulled her into him.

The same despondency he showed on her doorstep weeks before could be felt in his embrace. Loren gently wrapped her arms around his broad frame, whispering that he should get into bed. As she began to reposition herself by his side, his grip around her waist was firm, and stopped her from moving as he pulled her even closer to him.

She felt his warm breath against her cheek as she stood motionless, unsure and caught off guard with the way he held her. He began to thank her, but instead he grit his teeth as a wave of throbbing pain traveled through one side of his head.

Loren gently coaxed him to walk slowly to his bedroom, her voice sounded both melodic and soothing as she guided him down the hallway.

Passing the guest bedroom, William saw Loren’s bags just inside the door.

Loren followed William’s gaze. Although nothing verbal was said, she sensed his dismay.

Entering his room and stopping at the foot of the bed, Loren stood in front of William, groaning inside her mind knowing that she might need to help him undress.

She instructed him to sit on the bench at the end of his bed, helping him lower himself down. She knelt down in front of him and began untying his shoes, removing them silently as William watched every move she made.

She looked up at him and smirked. “Don’t get any ideas…I’m just down here to take off your shoes.”

William only smiled. It hurt to laugh.

“It the pain still really bad? Can you see anything?”

“Vision’s coming back. Fucking head though…and my stomach.”

Loren gave him a sympathetic nod, saying she’d get him into bed in a second.

With minimal movements, she removed his hoodie and t-shirt underneath. His scent made her hungry to kiss every bit of bare skin that she just exposed.

Removing his sweatpants was worse. Way worse. She scolded herself mentally when she kept glancing towards his concealed dick. She hated the fact she still craved it as badly as she did. It was literally making her salivate.

She gently helped William into bed, leaning over him to adjust pillows supporting his head and neck. Once he was settled, she pulled the covers over him.

The light from the hallway provided just enough illumination to see William's face as he closed his eyes. Loren told him she would turn off all the lights once she got the cold gel compress she brought and a lined bucket to set next to his bed in case he needed it.

As she turned to exit the room, William's hand lightly clasped onto two of Loren's fingers. "I don't know many girls who would look after me like this. Thank you so much." His voice sounded dry and croaky, and Loren made a mental note to get him some fluids.

She looked at William for a moment before a faint smile spanned her face. "Well, then I guess you're Snapping the wrong girls… I bet I could find a thousand and one ladies in 30 minutes or less who would shank their own mother to be in my position right now. Could have them here faster than a Domino's pizza."

William smiled, but his eyebrows furrowed. "I'm trying to say thank you, y'know…"

"You're not supposed to be talking at all." Loren stroked his hand with her thumb, acknowledging in her own way that she appreciated him saying it, but it wasn't necessary. "I'll be back in a sec."

She pet the pooches that had already nestled between William's legs on top of the comforter and glided out of the room. William opened one eye enough just to glance at her backside as she left the room.

She quickly dissolved the electrolyte package that had been sent home in William's home care package from the medical staff on the team. She retrieved the gel compress mask from the refrigerator and a few other items. But as she entered the room, William was leaning over the edge of the bed, groaning that he was going to be sick. Loren quickly set everything aside and went to William's side just for some support. She leaned over next to him and quietly asked him if she should stay by his side. He nodded his head.

After his dry heaves had subsided, she helped him lay down, and sat next to him on the edge of the bed as he drifted off to sleep. Once she heard his breathing slow into a specific rhythm, she moved quietly about the room, disposing of the contents of the bucket and replacing the bag, setting the strong electrolyte mix next to him with a straw, and plugging in his phone.

It was around 4 a.m. when she had cleaned and tidied everything up and decided to head to bed. She turned off all the lights, closed the blinds, and ensured William's room was now completely shrouded in darkness. As she closed his door, he quietly called her name.

She stepped lightly to his bedside, and he asked if she would sleep there with him.

Loren was exhausted and knew he had the most comfortable bed imaginable. She quietly agreed, citing "just in case he's sick again" in her head as an additional excuse to stay.

She quickly got ready for bed. She wondered if she could get away with just sleeping on top of the comforter, but the condo was far too cold for her light pajama set.

She crawled in next to William, asked him if he was okay, and as he nodded, she wished him a good sleep.

He thanked her once again for everything she'd done. He thought to himself how amazing she had been to him so far, and he felt like he didn't deserve her kindness and care.

He moved his hand close to her bent leg under the covers. Just having her there next to him was good enough for tonight.

—

The following morning, Loren awoke to a dog barking. The sound came from nearby, not from the dogs that she felt were still nestled between William and her.

She looked around slowly, getting her bearings. She saw William’s bedroom door slightly open which let some light in from the main living space.

She didn’t want to shift and wake William up, who’s body seemed to a little closer to her than she remembered when she fell asleep.

Turns out, she needn’t worry.

A low "good morning" purred behind her. Before she could stifle it, a soft giggle escaped her lips as a smile spread across her face.

She turned her head slightly, catching a glimpse of William's face. His eyes still looked heavy and tired, and his five o’clock shadow had added 6, 7, and 8 o’clock to it too. A soft grin teased his lips as he looked at Loren while laying on his side.

This was not faring well for Loren as part of the getting over William Nylander program that she was on.

She shifted onto her side, pulling up the blankets to cover her boobs that appeared much more voluptuous in this position bunched in her tank top.

God, he is so fucking beautiful Loren thought.

Fuuuuck me….look at her William thought.

Loren peeled her gaze off of William and onto the dogs - Banksy had flipped onto his back while Pablo looked unimpressed and pouted at the end of the bed.

She motioned for Pablo to come up towards her, which he did. Licking her face, she quietly told him how smart of a boy he was.

Hers eyes met William’s again, behind his glasses this time, and she asked him how he was feeling.

“Much, much better. My eye sight seems to be pretty normal…. have a little headache but nothing like last night.”

“Good, I’m so glad - I can’t imagine that pain.”

"Fuck—yeah, the headache was really starting to build in the plane, so I just leaned my seat back and closed my eyes. When we were landing, that's when it hit badly—I couldn't see out of my one eye."

He then backtracked to the point where his recent headaches had begun.

"Pretty much right after I left your place, I could feel one side of my head starting to ache," William confessed.

Loren looked perplexed. "It started right after you left?"

William looked at Pablo and began scratching him under his collar. Pablo's hind leg began to thump as he scratched himself in sync with William's fingers.

"I was thinking about it all the way home. It wasn't your fault that my scoring fell off a cliff. I'm pretty sure I made you feel like you were the problem. Y'know… with the whole distraction thing."

Loren's eyes remained cast downward as she lightly stroked the tufts of fur on Pablo's back. "I don't really remember anything, other than feeling — I know it sounds juvenile maybe but — feeling just really sad. I think you're a pretty good guy… I knew I was going to miss hanging out with you." Loren's cheeks flushed with her admission.

"Wait — just pretty good? Not a great or awesome guy… I only get a pretty good?" William teased.

"Never got the chance to fully find out before you ditched me," Loren deadpanned, followed with a little snicker.

William hung his head in defeat. "Ok — yeah… take it easy… I'm not well…," he smiled.

Loren mockingly whispered at Pablo as he craned his head around to sniff her face. "You hear that Pablo — your Dad can dish it out but he can't take it…"

Pablo wagged his tail at Loren as she scratched under his ears, telling him how great and awesome he was.

She heard William giggle and scoff at her.

William grabbed his phone from the nightstand, unplugging it as he adjusted his body in bed. "I'm guessing you plugged in my phone — thanks for doing that. I actually don't know if I remember much, other than you being here when Calle walked me up."

"You were in pretty rough shape… it was not at all prepared to see you like that actually."

William scrolled through the gazillion messages, finally selecting one to read through. He turned to Loren, adjusting his glasses as he glanced back at his phone. "So seriously, how long do I have you for? Think you can drive me to the arena today? They want to do another check-up."

Loren smiled and turned onto her back, stretching her arms over her head while yawning. "That's what I'm here for… you definitely shouldn't be driving." She looked at William, eyes bright and wide. "You wanna take my car?" she asked, and then giggled. Her car was essentially a shit box and not nearly as nice as William's—for some reason, she was geared to egg him on a little today.

William shook his head and chuckled. "We'll take my car—your car....well, it does enough travelling." He thought for another moment. "You never answered my question… how long do I have you for? And don't change the subject…" he said light-heartedly.

"You said four or five days, so I took five. But I don't think you'll need me for that long… you already seem a million times better."

"Don't get upset at me for asking but… you ok with not getting paid for that long? We can figure out something to get you reimbursed—you just need to tell me."

"I'm okay. It'll be okay."

"Loren—seriously—please…"

"I promise… I got a little side business going....there's been a little extra money coming in lately. So, I'm good… but thank you. Truly… I appreciate the offer."

"What is it—the side business?"

Loren looked away sheepishly. "OnlyFans," she replied quietly.

William's head nearly swiveled off of his shoulders and his mouth dropped open.

Loren's face turned red. "What—you told me once that I should try it—that I would do well on there…"

"Fuck—I—really—I didn't… are you serious?"

Loren looked down at Pablo and then back toward William, before she grinned at his shocked expression. "No, I'm not serious. My side gig is tutoring French—conversational and otherwise."

William looked up at the ceiling. "Fuck… shocked the shit outta me. Ow—fuck…" William winced, squinting his eye and pressing his palm over top of it. "Thanks for the jolt, my headache is back."

Loren sat up. "Oh fuck… oh no—shit—really? I am really—I'm so sorry!" she said panicking. "You see why I never joke around much? My timing sucks…"

William laughed. "Ha—gotcha…"

◇◈◆◇◈◇◆◈

If there was a word that would describe the 2024 Leafs versus Boston series, it would be "dramatic."

Add in pre- and post-game media scrums, plus a camera crew following William at certain points during his illness, there was rarely a moment in his life that wasn't complicated.

What was unsurprising, but perhaps unexpected is how Loren naturally provided a buffer between William and his professional life. There was a sanctity with her presence in his home. She brought warmth, comfort, and offered unwavering and nonjudgmental support when he allowed himself to unload some of the thoughts that clogged his mind.

William discovered the friendship side of his relationship with Loren. She slept in his bed the first night, but stayed in the guest bedroom for the nights that followed. It's not what William had wanted, and if Loren was being honest, she still deeply desired William too. But, for that moment, she did what she felt was best for both of them and kept their reunion platonic.

However, after Game 4, where it seemed all but over for the Leafs — the game where William was caught on camera clapping back at his teammates — William arrived home in an abysmal mood.

Although he was quiet, Loren sensed he was like a pressure cooker ready to pop. The vein in his neck, the one she had once kissed while William gripped onto her from a powerful orgasm, jutted out under his skin. Loren treaded lightly, and gave him time to process how the game unfolded now that he was home.

It was when he grabbed his phone and saw how many notifications there were, on top of the millions he already had, that totally set him off. He whipped his phone at the adjacent plush chair, yelled expletives, shoved some furniture around and paced around the living room, letting every single thought he had — unfair or not — out into the universe.

Banksy curled onto Loren's lap but Pablo stood on the arm of the couch and watched William devotedly. Each time William passed Pablo, he would rub him or kiss his head, but he continued to unleash whatever he had pent up. There was a lot. Far more than Loren ever suspected.

She listened intently. If he asked her for her thoughts, she somehow balanced being supportive while remaining neutral.

One of many benefits of having an open concept kitchen and living room space is that one can still listen to a person vent and make them something to eat while not missing a beat. Which is exactly what Loren did as William let out all of his frustrated thoughts, then finally sat down at his kitchen island as he wound down.

With the sourdough bread that Loren bought the day before, she stood in William's kitchen making him a light meal of Croque Monsieur.

The day before, William and Loren had taken the dogs on a long walk to a bakery Loren was eager to visit. Though she'd offered to go alone, William insisted on joining her. The beautiful spring day began cool and crisp but quickly warmed as it progressed.

During Loren's stay, William had noticed a change in her demeanor. While still kind and caring, the wide-eyed excitement she'd once shown when they first met had dimmed. She now seemed guarded, as if holding back her emotions.

However, as they entered the bakery together, William watched Loren come alive. Her eyes lit up at the sights and smells surrounding them. She looked absolutely radiant—this was the Loren he remembered.

William watched her finish up at the stove, and she plated the French style sandwich and handed it to him. William's eyes widened at the sight of it -- the bread was toasted perfectly golden and the rich cheese slightly oozed onto the plate.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck…" William groaned.

Loren's back was turned as she washed the dishes. Hearing his groan, her first thought was that he saw something upsetting on his cellphone. She turned around with a concerned look, just to see William taking another massive bite of food.

His mouth was still partially full as he rolled his eyes at Loren. "This is so fucking good… like — fuck… oh my god."

William eyed the pan that she was just about to clean. "Wait — could you pretty please make me another one? Pretty please? I'll do whatever you want me to…" William said wryly, but there was a suggestive flavor to it too.

Loren blushed as her thoughts turned sinful.

Fucking guy, she laughed to herself, shaking her head.

After making another, in no time, he was already halfway through the second Croque Monsieur. Loren suddenly felt a grumble of hunger in her stomach. "Think I could have just the tiniest bite — if you can spare it…" she said with a little wink.

William had this look. It was a combination of pretty boy, frat boy, fuck boy, cocky boy and sweetheart rolled into one, and it made Loren weak.

He lifted the piece of bread up and motioned for her to go ahead and take a bite. It had unnerved her a little, with his eyebrow cocked and raised, but she was hungry now. There was a small window of opportunity to look as sexy as she could while sinking her teeth into the sandwich. If not sexy looking, she would at least try for not awkward.

She gently wrapped her hand around his which held the base up, and took a slow bite.

Goddammit — that is fucking good, she thought.

She swiped some crumbs from the side of her mouth while William watched how pretty she looked with her cheeks flushed.

"Wait — there's a bit of mustard still left."

She wasn't sure if there really was or not — she was too busy kissing William back. He had pulled her into him and mumbled something about "being so amazing", and began kissing her urgently.

They remained in a lip lock the entire way to William's bedroom.

There in the low light from his bedside lamp, they undressed each other, their hands worked in sync as pants were unfastened and clasps were undone. Their hands smoothed over each other's skin which filled them each with profound desire and admiration.

They both knew what they yearned for from each other, and neither was willing to try and fight it.

Still, Loren worried about William overexerting himself. She had experienced William's voracious sexual appetite before — it was a marvel to experience his level of cardio and stamina. Given he had just made his first appearance in the playoffs after his blinding migraines, she was not going to be the reason he missed out on the rest of the series.

He pulled her in tightly, her hands raked through his hair as he kissed and nipped her neck.

"I think it might be too much if you…" — Loren's voice trailed off into a moan as William's mouth made contact with her nipple — "…I think you should lie on your back… fuck William…" she groaned.

He was almost lifting her off the ground with the way he held and kissed her.

Loren smoothed his hair as he latched onto her nipple again. "William… please… your head… don't overdo anything… let me — here… lie on your back." He kissed back up her neck, stopping to look at her face.

The way she cared for him was extraordinary.

After he lied down for her, the way she worked his cock in her mouth was indescribable.

But the way she rode him until the muscles in his thighs quivered was otherworldly.

Once again, in the still bliss afterward, William's world felt calm as he lay with Loren sleeping next to him.

The next morning, William opened his eyes and saw the silhouette of Loren's side profile. Her eyelashes, her nose that turned up at the end. Fuck, that mouth of hers.

He could tell that she was awake as she lazily glided her hands through Pablo's fur.

"What are you thinking about?" William's low, morning croak made her smile while her gaze remained fixed on the ceiling.

"Just thinking about your next game. Maybe you should pull a Marchand and go up and lick Pasta on his face. Get him off his game."

William laughed, moving closer to kiss Loren's shoulder. He motioned for her to turn into his chest, knowing how much she loved it there. "Nah, Pasta might like it and try and kiss me back. I think I've been in the news enough lately anyway — don't need anything else for them to write about."

Loren kissed and nuzzled his chest. "I guess. It'd be something to see though."

It was quiet in the room, save for the drone of traffic from the streets below.

"I got a text from my manager at the home. The person covering for me dislocated his shoulder. They could really use me, and it seems like you're on the right track."

William knew at one point she would need to go back to her own life. It was a hard pill to swallow though, after all she had done for him. "Oh wow. Yeah, ok… I understand. Although… I'm feeling a little light-headed, dizzy… and my back's sore — and I've got a toe cramp…" William chuckled.

Loren smiled against his skin. "Oh — okay…well, in that case…" she purred, gliding her hand up his bare back, "you better tell Paul and the med staff when you go in for practice this morning." She giggled knowing that wasn't the response he was aiming for.

"Ooof — okay… was I that big of a pain in the ass?"

Loren reached up to kiss him along his jawline. "The biggest," she responded, her voice just above a whisper.

—

Loren had agreed to drive William to practice before she headed north to go home. The drive to the rink was understandably quiet as William thought about the aftereffects from the dumpster fire of Game 4 the night before. Added to that was the uncertainty of what the future held for the two of them.

As they inched along in traffic nearing the rink, William started to fidget a little, rubbing and scratching his beard as he often did while talking to reporters. Loren noticed it, but remained quiet. She was lost in her own thoughts anyway.

"Are you nervous?" Loren finally asked.

William's eyes seemed like a pale blue that morning as he looked toward Loren. They were still gorgeous she thought, but they were a little sullen. Tired.

"A little. Just don't know what the mood is going to be like in there. Cameras are going to be on me and Mitchy, I think." William leaned his head back on the headrest. "So, what happens next — you know… with this?"

Loren smiled and shook her head. "I wish I knew." William couldn't help but laugh at her expression — her bright smile, biting her lip and with a look of "fucked if I know."

Loren pulled into the entrance of the rink and into a parking spot. Looking to William, she continued her thought. "I guess for you, either you'll be going on to the next round, or you'll be packing up to go home for the offseason. Either way, I am excited for you, and I'm so glad you asked me to come help you."

William looked down and smiled. "You know I'm bad with words, but this time we just spent was really… amazing. The fact you even said that you'd help me after… after I… after things ended the way they did."

"William — stop saying it like you did something wrong a few weeks back. You did nothing wrong. You were faced with a decision and you made one."

"Yeah but it really fucking sucked. For both of us."

"Well, you still get to be you so… I guess it sucked more for me, but whatever… I won't argue," Loren laughed, nudging William.

William smiled and started to unbuckle his seatbelt. “Alright, I'll message you later," he said as he opened the car door and slid out of the seat. He came around to Loren's side, leaned through the open window and kissed her tenderly. He leaned his forehead against hers, and sighed. "Better go. Talk soon."

Loren grinned and nodded, giving him a wink and wished him luck.

As she drove away, she felt an unexpected feeling of peace. It was almost like closure somehow. She had no illusions about William. She had another quick glimpse into his world, and she was not sure - given the chance - if being a WAG is something she would want to entertain. But she truly was grateful to be there for William when he needed someone, and that he trusted her with his very private life.

All Loren knew is that she would return home, resume her life and let the chips fall where they may.

[bonefall]

I'm still wading through some brain fog so I'm not writing as much as I want to, currently. But I have just been absently sketching Willowpelt because she's been on my mind

I had initially been working with the "hyena" face in mind, but I've been playing around with the "villainous role" idea for Ferncloud's Parting. I mentioned it to my partner who pointed out that big, strong profiles like that are overused for "vengeful" characters.

Besides, I really love drawing that face shape anyway, so I figured I'd move away from it since it's going to be on a LOT of RiverClan cats in particular (they have longer muzzles than other Clans because they hunt in water).

I'm leaning towards "bat" now... maybe I'll retool it so it's more deer-like. Deer are totally underused as inspiration for harsh characters...

Anyway ready for some WIP material? Plus a recap of Ferncloud's Parting for all who need a refresher

(oh wow it got long. The power of girlies <3)

FERNCLOUD'S PARTING... Refresher!!

Replaces Graystripe's Vow completely, taking place just after the Impostor has been deposed and is imprisoned. Ferncloud is now the main POV, accompanied on her journey by her childhood best friend Cloudtail and the Impostor's surviving lackey, Bumblestripe.

The goal of this SE is to explore Ferncloud's relationship to her younger brother, Ashfur.

(BB canon: Ferncloud and Elderberry are the older kits of Brindleface. Ashkit was a singlet born shortly before his mother's death, raised by Fern, Elder, and their grandmother One-eye. Fireheart botched the Queen's Rights while claiming Cloudkit, but for all intents and purposes was socially his Mi... which he was not good at being. Cloudtail was Ashfur's mentor and Ferncloud's childhood friend.)

Ferncloud is asking herself the question; "What could I have done to prevent this?"

A lot of secondary questions revolve around this... Does this make her responsible for what Ashfur has done? Did she teach him anything that contributed to who he is today? Does that make her responsible?

Cloudtail is in a similar situation, as Ashfur's mentor and someone who only ever wanted to help his friend. Could HE have prevented this? He wants to find out.

Graystripe, oldest cat in ThunderClan, accompanies the little group as far as the mountain... and decides to stay there, with his golden boy, Stormfur.

Bumblestripe had come along with them all, for... a lot of complicated reasons. But the most relevant is that he had been one of the Impostor's most loyal, brutal enforcers. Berrynose was killed in a huge skirmish, and now there's just Bumblestripe left alone to shoulder his sins.

After saying goodbye to his father for what's probably the last time, getting to meet the mythical oldest brother he's been compared to his entire life, and seeing Cloud and Fern looking to visit the Old Forest Territories... Bumblestripe goes with them even further to make sure the old cats stay safe.

Like Graystripe's Vow, I'm planning to keep the split chronology. It goes back and forth between Ferncloud in the Broken Era, and Ferncloud back during the Fire Era.

The ultimate moral here, the point I want to build to, is that Cloudtail and Ferncloud did exactly what was expected of them. They raised a loyal warrior who holds the code above all. They're only responsible for Ashfur insofar as they were responsible for teaching him the same values of vengeance, violence, and distrust of outsiders as was expected... in Firestar's absence.

(Though... there's lots of other questions that I don't think FP will answer. Like, COULD they have truly stopped him? Can they ever understand WHY, if they don't currently? There's a LOT of feelings here and I don't know if all of them really have answers.)

WIP STUFF TIME

Here's new stuff, I've either not mentioned this before, or I've mentioned it in passing without actually linking it to Ferncloud's Parting.

I have a LOT of ideas here that I have to start sorting through. I think these characters are all really interesting so it's really a matter of cutting down all these little details into something more coherent.

When Ashkit is young, he's a child. There was nothing particularly outstanding about him, besides the fact he was a bit lonely and eager to please.

There's a bit of an air of "loss" when Ferncloud thinks back to Ashpaw's childhood. Elderberry and One-eye will be dying soon after the "flashback" segments, so when she goes back to the modern era, thinking about them feels bittersweet.

I also want to sneak in that Ferncloud feels jealous over Cloudtail's mateship with Brightheart lmao, because she has a crush on Brightheart. (Note, maybe tie this to Ashfur being obsessed with Squirrelflight, with Fern questioning if her jealousy rubbed off on Ashfur)

Through helping WarriorClan, Bumblestripe feels REALLY good. They don't know anything about his past, his struggles, or his failures as a person. He's just a hero to them and that feels... good.

Watching Bumblestripe be good, learning more about his issues and WHY he did what he did while following Ashfur brings Cloud and Fern some insight... but not entirely what they need. Is Ashfur just a Bumblestripe on a bigger scale? Or are they just learning more about how good of a manipulator Ashfur is? In which case... where did that ability to manipulate come from?

Fang/Honeysuckle might be Bumblestripe's half-brother. If that's the case, Bumble is... frustrated by it. MORE of his dad's complicated legacy.

Ferncloud and Cloudtail probably have some short discussions about how much is really appropriate to teach to WarriorClan... after all, they're here questioning if any part of Ashfur was THEIR fault, what if they accidentally teach them something terrible?

But at the same time, Ferncloud is the Educator of ThunderClan, and these cats can't write. The Glyph system would be very useful to them, and they're begging to learn more about Clan culture.

Putting a pin in that part, for now. Will tie back more into the conclusion that the Clan cat party ultimately reaches.

BACK IN THE PAST; Firestar is away bringing back SkyClan in Firestar's Quietus. Everything that is done is without him.

Longtail, the deputy, is blinded and a leader does not immediately rise to fill the space in ThunderClan.

And in BloodClan, their trading partner... Scourge does the same. Oops! WRONG TIME, SCOOJ!

Planning to retire, Scourge announces an event called The Frenzy. He will choose the next leader from whoever accomplishes the biggest achievement in the given timeframe. This is how BloodClan passes on leadership.

He gives his chosen heir, Claw, their first Frenzy Achievement-- the fang of a dog from his own collar. Anyone who wishes to take power instead must accomplish a feat even bigger than what had allowed SCOURGE to take power in the first place; Killing a dog.

Fury is a challenger. She does NOT want Scourge's chosen heir, Claw, to lead BloodClan next. Claw will continue the trading and friendliness towards Clan cats, which Fury wants to end.

ENTER WILLOWPELT

Willowpelt ALSO wants this trading with BloodClan to stop. She feels it's gone too far.

BloodClan killed her mate-- Whitestorm. Firestar might have been willing to just throw his life away for this, but she's NOT.

She's recovering from a boar bite, currently, but it's scarring up nicely... and she's willing to pretend she's injured a little longer if it shakes suspicion off her.

She doesn't WANT to be allies with Fury, but if her goal is to bring BloodClan back into isolation... then, Willowpelt will do it.

And Fury promises her something else; Revenge. Scourge is the reason why Whitestorm died, and together, they can ruin his plans and make him watch as his peaceful little power transfer crumbles into ash.

GOOD SETUP IMO but I still need to work out what nefarious deed they'll do, exactly. All I know is that Fury will betray Willowpelt at the height of it. Maybe something about taking over Barley's barn. Maybe Elderberry gets killed.

But, I have one very strong feeling in mind; Ferncloud probably ends up killing Fury while Ashpaw watches or even helps.

Hmm... maybe Graystripe (becomes deputy as soon as Firestar gets back for handling this crisis so well) ordered them to let Fury go.

But Ferncloud looked at Fury, and decided that Willowpelt was right about one thing. Most BloodClan cats cannot be trusted.

The code does not apply equally to outsiders.

Maybe I WILL have Fury end up killing Elderberry in some way, and then give Ferncloud and Ashpaw a conversation about it. "Those who don't live by the code will not be protected by it. And we must protect our Clan... even if Graystripe doesn't realize it."

I could make it clear that Fury is not a threat at that point, having been beaten in some way and Claw ascending to BloodClan leadership. OR I could have left it open-ended, like, maybe Fury would be a future problem, maybe not. Not sure yet.

Willowpelt of course will also need to experience some consequences for this... unleeeess, I have Graystripe let her off really easy exactly because she's Clanborn, which even Cloudtail is frustrated about, maybe even coining the term "Codebreaker" as an insult under his breath.

In any case, Ferncloud never told Cloudtail about how she secretly killed Fury. It's too juicy to have her reveal it to him in the modern day, explaining that it IS her fault, she DID teach him the wrong thing.

Hmm... I'm talking myself into it. Though I did also like the original vibe that Ashfur's tyranny was kind of unknowable, trying to make sense out of a senseless thing he did. I think it feels a lot more interesting for Ferncloud to have been hiding this for literal years, and now feeling like she has to "pay the world back" for what she did.

Maybe even build towards something metal about Fury's grave. Hmm... maybe to hide the murder, she buried her in Elderberry's freshly dug one, since no one would notice the soil had been recently disturbed as it was JUST dug.

Buried my sister and my secret victim in the same grave. ~Just Girlie Things~

Cloudtail sitting here, War Criminal to the right and Secret Murderer to the left like "can i ever be around normal people. like, just once"

Jokes aside... Cloudtail needs to point out something very important. Ferncloud regretted what she did, and she never did what Ashfur is doing. She never sought power, when Firestar came back she's lived a long life without ever once undermining him, and even her beliefs have softened over time.

She was a Traditionalist back then, but is Fire Alone now. After everything. The destruction of the forest, loss of her kits, WindClan rebellion, reveal of Squirrelflight and Leafpool's secret...

She's helped to raise every new generation as the Educator. And yet, Ashfur, the Impostor, is unique.

And look at Bumblestripe... being Graystripe's son didn't stop him from being the Impostor's lackey.

We all make our choices. HE made his. You made your own.

But... I don't feel like Ferncloud can entirely accept that as an answer either. There would be a very forlorn sort of feeling here. Yes, we all make our own choices-- but we influence each other. For better and for worse. And she refuses to avoid responsibility for that.

Maybe in that moment I'll have her make the choice to return home, and BE the one who becomes the Light in the Mist to face Ashfur in the Dark Forest. Seems to be coming together.

[midnight1nk]

My dear fellows, it's time to place your final bets for this upcoming WOTFI! Only just mere days away, everyone's been curious:

How will the challenges play out?

Whose submission got accepted into the episode?

How will the crew defeat Mr Puzzles?

Will Mr Puzzles die?

Indeed, they are very valid questions. It's only reasonable that we would guess. Some speculated that Puzzles will die similarly to how One-Shot Wren did in Western Spaghetti. Others said the opposite, that Puzzles may go down a path of redemption. So on and so on.

The point is: We aren't a hundred percent sure what will happen. That includes me. Anything could happen. But that is the fun of it all, it captivated us so much that we were at the edge of our seats. Eager to find out more.

In my "Welcome to Puzzle Park" episode review, I predicted that SMG4 and Mario would have to win the mini-game challenges to save each of their friends from Mr Puzzles. And now, before the SMG4 show decides to jump-scare me with a new update, I want to share a twist on my original guess.

If SMG4 and Mario couldn't save the Crew and get controlled by Mr Puzzles, then who would?

"...Mom sure is taking a long time, huh."

THE UNEXPECTED GUESTS

⚠️ DISCLAIMER IN INTRO POST ⚠️

"To your own demise, you created your own enemy…"

RECAP

Let’s go over the episode ‘Welcome to Puzzle Park’ once again:

The SMG4 Crew, including Karen, is forced to listen to Boopkins' vacation story, beginning to wonder where Meggy is. And right on cue, Leggy pops in and lures them to Puzzle Park, a carnival built by Mr Puzzles, which they didn't know that part until the Crew got there. Unfortunately, being forced to enter the park, each one of the Crew took part of the attractions and games. One by one, they suspiciously disappeared, Three noticed this.

A whole day goes by and the park is empty except for Four, Mario, and Three. Three saw Luigi getting captured, realizing that the park was a trap, and went to warn the rest of our Star Trio. A clown head intervened, capturing Three before he could tell them to run. In his last efforts, instead of struggling, Three sent a text to Four, hoping it would be enough for the two to escape before it was too late. Four and Mario, being in the middle of their competitive water gun game, saw the text and attempted to escape.

The whole park, somehow coming to life, chased the two down until they went through a magical exit door. In there, they faced a hall of mirrors and finally face Mr Puzzles. Puzzles reveal his plans, that the Crew was “the missing pieces of Puzzle Park”. Leggy opens up a portal to the hall for Didney’s Engine Room, Four and Mario having no choice but to go through. Entering the Engine Room, they encounter a horrifying site: A grown-sized Mr Puzzles, merged with the Power source Star with wires and limbs. Mr Puzzles laughs maniacally before the doors of the Engine Room close behind the duo, ending the episode with the grayed-out credits.

Now, that is all well, set, and good. But, when I was rewatching this episode, a question popped into my mind:

"Wait, if Karen is here, then are Zack, Cody, and Katie home alone?"

As much as I could assume that they were with a babysitter or at school, Karen got captured by Mr Puzzles regardless. A whole day has gone by and her kids are left at home. Then, I fall into a rabbit hole of questions:

Would her kids notice her strange absence? Would they ask if their mom was ok? Would they try to locate her?

Wait, what about Beeg4 and Eggdog? Three and Four were also captured and didn’t tell them where they went.

And JubJub? Sure, Boopkins have other family so Jubjub isn’t technically alone but wouldn’t he wonder where his brother went?

Question after question, it all ends up having the kids missing their family members.

If the kids realize that their family is gone, what will they do?

Well, why don’t we play a game of “what if”, shall we?

Instead of Four and Mario, what if the kids save the Crew?

THINK OF THE CHILDREN

The kids, believe it or not, have been an important aspect of this WOTFI arc, ever since the very beginning. Look back at all the previous episodes:

We Must Kill Mario

Zack, Cody, and Katie get excited seeing Four on screen in a Puzzlevision episode, ‘Mario’s Mysteries’

Despite being Zack’s birthday, Four tailored each entertaining act for each kid, making them feel special

SMG4 and SMG3 come up with an episode

Three came up with the plot of Four turning into a child just so he could go on the teacup ride

Mr Puzzles’ Lowest Point

Puzzles relied on the children’s interests in brain-rot comedy just so he could be popular

In the first series of attempts, he sought Karen’s kids for their approval. The third time was successful

his videos only catered to a single demographic

Unable to satisfied the children at the convention, Mr Puzzles gets chased all around town. Zack being one of those kids who chased him

The children abandon their attention on Puzzlebox to pursue Goob4. Sure, Goob4 is not SMG4 but it is still another punch to the gut for Puzzles, that Four will keep beating him in popularity no matter what. Losing his young audience was a subtle factor that drove him to lose his mind

Mr Puzzles' Clubhouse

Didney, formerly beloved by people of all ages, has a park known as Didney Worl, dubbed as "The Happiest Place on Earth"

A flashback shows Mr Puzzles as a child wanting to own a carnival when he grows up, hoping that he could make everyone happy (similarly how Four’s goal, shown in IGBP)

These episodes all revolved around kids, so it’s possible that WOTFI would as well. Plus, it’s one of the aspects of Four and Puzzles parallels. While Puzzles tried to satisfy every kid with one show, Four made sure that each kid was happy, his acts being unique.

Well, another reason for Mr Puzzles to hate SMG4, jealous of Four being able to connect with his audience so easily.

HOW WILL IT PLAY OUT?

Technically, this is the end of the mini-theory. However, I do want to contribute to the narrative in how I would personally write it. Not that it will come true, this is just for funsies. This is how I imagine it:

Four and Mario attempt to fight off Mr Puzzles, wanting to save their friends. But Puzzles became too powerful, not even Mario of all people being able to stop him. The last scene we see them trying to dash for the exit before being grabbed by Puzzles.

We cut to Karen’s house. Zack, Cody, and Katie would be sitting around, flipping through the channels on the TV. One of them looks out the window, noticing that it is nighttime. They were told that their mom (Karen) would be visiting SMG4 for just a bit, something about welcoming Boopkins back from his vacation. It was supposed to be for a couple of hours.

“Mom sure is taking forever, huh.”

Back before dinner, she said. That she was going to make pizza. But the oven was cold, and no pizza was made. They were starting to get hungry. They loved having Mom around, she was always there for them. She loved them with all their heart. But now, something felt off.

“Hey, guys, look!”

The three looked at the screen to see an advertisement of Puzzle Park, an incredible carnival with exciting attractions and games, having its grand opening today. It’s so much fun that you wouldn’t want to leave.

Right there on the screen, they see SMG4, in a new outfit with a top hat and twirling cane, performing an act. They cheered, of course, they recognized their favorite YouTuber. Wow, who knew Four was part of this.

Then, they saw their mom on the screen, exactly as Four is with the new outfit and act. They were a bit surprised by this, Mom didn’t tell them she was part of this. Why? Wouldn’t she have invited them to join her at the carnival? Still, they were happy to see their mom.

Just then, a knock on the door. They open to see Beeg4, Eggdog, and JubJub on the other side, they looked worried. They were let in and through Cody’s translating, they were worried that something happened to their dads. Three never told Eggdog where he went and was pretty much left alone in the cafe. Beeg initially didn’t care, he got to be home alone to do whatever he wanted to do for meme’s sake, but a new meme just dropped, and was shocked to see that Four didn’t say anything about it. Not even a like on the post. For JubJub, his brother said that he was going to tell his friends about his vacation but he never came back home to the ocean.

Eggdog spots his dad on screen, dancing around in glee. That’s not my dad, Eggdog points out. The light in Three’s eyes, it was gone. As if his mind wasn’t there. Despite the theatrics the crew was doing, they looked like they didn't intend to act this way. There was no happiness. They looked like puppets.

Finally, Mr Puzzles come up on the screen, urging the viewers to come on down to Puzzle Park. Zack points out that Puzzles was the one behind Puzzlebox. They then concluded that Mr Puzzles had something to do with their family members being mind-controlled. So, they gear up and head for the carnival to confront Mr Puzzles. And soon, they learn they would have to save each Crew member one by one by completing mini-games.

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

And there you have it, the kids being Puzzles’ first audience to ultimately being the ones who will defeat him in WOTFI! It would be a nice change of pace for the show and it will come full circle if they go with this. I'm going to be honest: I didn't intend to post this today. I was hoping to wait for the trailer to drop so I could post multiple things:

one of the posts is obviously my reaction/analysis of the trailer

second, a post where you guys help me fill in the boxes on the bingo card I'm creating for WOTFI (still going to do this in the future btw)

and lastly, this mini-theory

I initially thought that it would be a silly little post, thinking that it might not come true, But the more I thought about it, it made sense in my head. It works especially with my “The Ticket” theory (excluding the shoe part) of the kids knowing some form of truth behind Puzzle Park. Again, anything could happen, my dear fellows. This isn’t out of the question. We would just have to wait and see at around October 19th!

“One can't fully understand how much a child love their family...”

And hey, that’s just a theory…

AN SMG4 (MINI) THEORY

🎶Thanks for dropping by🎶

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 1 thoughts

wow… how much time has progressed… and to think, a mere two months ago, i barely knew these character’s names, let alone that they will likely stick with me for eternity...

let us begin. as we always must do.

okay, so i’m reading the episode description: scully is facing a possible dismissal!!! i know she broke rules but it was for FRIENDSHIP and LOVE! does that not count for anything anymore?!

(spooky noise) (dried up alien shot) (voice of disembodied narrative) last season on the X files…

(a recap of cig man burning things)

we open back in New Mexico, to Albert describing his relationship to memory and history: “memory is radiant and immutable, while history serves only those who seek to control it” <- banger line.

anyway. we see the smoldering ruins of that train car that was once full of aliens. but not a single mulder in sight…

cig man is breaking into the kind people’s houses!! he and his cronies are conducting violence… THEY HIT ALBERT IN THE HEAD NOOO??? HE IS A HERO... cig man, you are less than a mosquito to me

scully time!!! she’s on the scene… guess she didn’t get far back to DC. “where is he?” she asks, and they look at each other with concern in their eyes. oh, they don’t know...

eric walks into the room with a terribly beaten face... NOOO ERIC, THEY SHOULD HAVE NEVER DONE THIS TO YOU.

now scully is screaming for him on the cliffs whilst the smoke still billows from the train where he was last seen… no response… it is not looking good for our friend mulder!!

she finally tries to go home, and a helicopter is shining on scully. RIGHT on her. this is not good for driving. they run her off the road with no regard for anyone's safety??? could have caused a MASSIVE pileup.

anyway, they grab her and it’s upsetting, asking where the files are and she says in the trunk. do we believe her??? it’s a copy of some of them, but not the DAT, which i would guess means the original cassette tape... oh nooo i’m scared… i mean she couldn’t deny it, but it’s also not looking good for the secrets she was trying to keep. so, without the "DAT", they just leave.

back at the FBI, they are telling her she needs to take a leave of absence. she is looking at the ground and it is once again giving student in the principal’s office. NO PAY OR BENEFITS??? you can't do that... what if she needs to go to the doctor......

i guess she is a doctor but the point stands. you NEED insurance in these parts.

she gives them her badge and gun and says she thinks mulder is dead :( NOOOOO you cannot admit defeat

skinner says “don’t think this hasn’t been difficult for everyone” and she is holding back a very very very biting remark but actually manages to hold it back, so god only knows what she wanted to say. a stronger woman than i.

until she leaves the room, that is!!! skinner comes out to talk to her and OH SHE IS MAD!!

“what about the people who are poisoning agent mulder’s water? whose protocol was that? the men who killed agent mulder, the people who killed his father- they aren’t meant to be found”

“we will find them”

“with all due respect, sir, I think you overestimate your position in the chain of command” <- OHHHH TEA. she basically said, you're a liar working for liars and perpetuating lies. meanwhile WE'RE the only real bitches at the function and one of ‘em’s dead because of YOUR pet cigarette man. SICK!!!!! truly evil.

now she has to find some work to pay the bills skinner!!

(i don't think skinner is evil, i just think he's a dick sometimes and that pisses me off more than sheer evilness. EACH time i think i have him figured out. he does something that proves me wrong)

one last visit to mulder's office before she leaves. she's going to take the real files on the cassette and they are GONE??? to whom have they gone…..

back in new york city. it's a meeting of the minds, all the big names in the world of covering up the existence of aliens. cig man is saying everything is fine, mulder is dead, and all the files are back. ALLEGEDLY!! i believe him on no accounts.

GASP scully going to her mom’s house… she walked there barefoot at night because her shoes hurt her :(

“i’ve made a terrible mistake. dad would be so ashamed of me” NOOOOOOOOOOOO DON’T SAY THAT!!!

(i cannot speak to the moral character of her father but if it were me, i would say it was doing the Right thing that counts far more than following corrupt orders from a corrupt system. and this is further proof that she is one of those people who Has to do the right thing or the guilt will consume her... )

and she DID do the right thing!!!! she just doesn't have faith!!!! i'll cry!!!

buzzards back in New Mexico… oh........

HAND SPOTTED!! white man’s hand in the rocks. is it mulder smushed?????? 

IT IS!! albert and co are hauling him out of a hole, and he’s looking quite dead, but he seems to have hid in a cave with the aliens. good on him for finding a convenient hole to duck into.

they’re doing a ceremony to call the Holy People!!!! i hope it works because remember, the calusari said mulder knows the devil and that seems contradictory...

hopefully they were just lying.

scully back home. sleeping in bed. answering the door, for someone knocks.

it’s FROHIKE???? i cackled. WHY does he know where she lives! and also why is he here when she is in her robe! well. i guess mourning will have you up and about at odd hours.

he drank a whole bottle of what looks like vodka...? and described mulder as “a redwood among mere sprouts” i laughed... it's so genuine. we all know a frohike, for better or for worse.

he assumes that she will be next in line for hunting The Truth, to which she replies, “i’m soon to be out of a job”. but she's a doctor, so it is gonna be okay. maybe she can just leave the last few months off her resume and get letters of recommendation from her professors. doctors, high in demand.

"and like rats, they just scatter back into the woodpile” she says, when discussing how these secretive people pull the strings behind the curtains. i took note because this is a yeehaw-sounding saying.

i guess we don't ever learn where she grew up, because it probably wasn't in one place, with her dad in the navy... but still. such a phrase is giving some sort of appalachia.

frohike brings bad news: the thinker was killed EXECUTION STYLE and found in a landfill... this is soooo fucked up. she is shocked they would do something so stupid and i was like ??? but ohh she's talking about tracing the bullets!

(i only realized this much later. i won't lie)

back in New Mexico, albert is working overtime calling the Holy People to come help, and mulder's floating out in space as he contemplates leaving this plane… 

people are surrounding him. perhaps the holy people or his ancestors??

but no, it is... DEEP THROAT??? I’VE MISSED YOU!!! it was nice to see him again, even for a brief moment in the astral plane.

he’s going on, very theatrically, about the absence of time in whatever it is inhabits after life: “i come to you, old friend, with the dull clarity of the dead, not to beckon you, but to feel the fire and intensity that still live in you…. there is truth here, if that is what you seek, but there is no justice or judgement, without which, truth is a vast, dead hallow” <- he has been reading Shakespeare in the afterlife 

no i actually loved that line. it goes hard. "the dull clearity of the dead". i'm eating that arrangement of words up

cutscene: aliens being gassed and locked in the railroad car. that’s…. Horrific 

(this scene takes mere seconds, and isn't addressed again in any real way in the episode, but holy. it was. unsettling. what did these bastards do to them....?)

back to the commune with the deceased. it's Bill! mr. mulder! he opens his eyes at his dad’s voice. his dad says he’s very sorry for lying about the whole alien thing, and says he is the memory; “if you were to die now, the truth would die, and only the lies survive us”. so no pressure whatsoever. /s

seemingly awake now, he asks if his sister is in the realm with the rest of those who have passed. and he learns she isn't there yet, so i'm pretty sure that makes up his mind, that he'll go back. but imagine if the answer was yes, she was there... do you think he would have still found the strength to return?

back in D.C., scully has to take the visitor’s entrance to the FBI :( but the security guard knows her!!! she is friendly in this way :) she beeps suspiciously... but he lets her though. i suspect that she might be hiding something... but what?

she's waiting for skinner. and ohhh skinner didn’t call her “agent” this time...ohhh the vibes are…….. not really vibing. it is uncomfortable.

she is bringing the news article to him and suggesting cross running the weapon that killed the thinker with the weapon that killed mulder’s dad to get some answers. this seems reasonable to me! he says she has been relieved of investigative duty and basically dismisses her. but she just wants to be helpful!!!! can you blame her??? she just wants to be HELPFUL, skinner, she wants her friend back and not dead. so please DON'T say something catty right now, i SWEAR.

SKINNER. I HATE YOU SOMETIMES. “ohhh the systems would have went off” so there is no need to cross reference the weapons. they’re killing people executioner style!!!! do you really think the people at the police department wouldn’t cover such a thing up?!?!? come ON let's use our heads!!!

he parrots her earlier line about him not having as much power as he thinks... ohhh you bitch. you should both be on the same team here and that team is "please let agent mulder be ALIVE"

he’s all “oh, you just wanna be helpful because you want your job back?” and she very firmly says NO. i just want answers. and honestly, she is handling this way better than i would be. because i would be biting and clawing skinner at this moment. to imply that she just wants her JOB back when she's trying to bring him information regarding a bunch of mysterious deaths, including that of her PARTNER?!?!?

so he says to bring him the cassette tape that she DOESN’T have or otherwise sit tight and let them do their job. and there is unbridled rage in her eyes but it somehow manages to not escape beyond body language and again, applause. 

pause. i’m actually so pissed on scully's behalf right now. and i just KNOW filming these scenes had to be fun.

as always in skinner's office, Bill Clinton watches over everything. his eyes are cold and uncaring. like a god who has abandoned its creation.

the MINUTE she leaves his office, cig man enters... SICK!!!! he's asking about the tape that he earlier claimed to the squad in new york that he got back… “that’s unfortunate”, he says, when he learns she doesn't have it. did he PLANT IT ON HER?? is that what the beeping was? do cassettes beep on metal detectors? i had some as a kid, i just remember feelings of plastic when holding them <-op was NOT onto something here

upon leaving, she is confused about the thingy beeping again. “you wearing a necklace or something?”, asks the security man. “no, not today”, and...... OH.... THE VISUAL INDICATOR THAT SHE HAS LOST ALL FAITH IN THE FORM OF HER CROSS NECKLACE BEING ABSENT. AUGHHHH TEARING MY SHIRT. ripping my hair out in grief. but that leaves the real question: what is in there?

she goes to the doctor, who looks at her neck. SOMETHING IS IN HER SKIN??? embedded in there. oh... it’s scarred over and they’re gonna pull it out, and i'm thinking i might gag if they show it, but thankfully they cut then. WHAT DID THEY DO TO HER IN ALIEN LAND????

back to the New Mexico cam!!! mulder progress!! three days of chanting and he is asking for water!! good news. 

back to D.C. no extraction scene visible, thank god. COMPUTER CHIP???? IN HER NECK??? did they microchip her... so they can track her location... or is it some sort of coded information... oh this is soooo evil

back talking with melissa!!!! my witchy best friend!!! melissa wants scully to unpack her memories, but can you blame her for NOT wanting to do that?? does reliving alien testing sound fun to you??? but, despite her reservations, she goes to a hypnotherapist anyway because she is a good sister and melissa played the "please? for me?" card

(damn, this show sure has a lot of hypnotherapy. it’s funny because i have never encountered it at all outside of this show. maybe it was the big thing at the time? and they wanted to be cool and trendy?)

but we’re back now, in repressed memory town, circa the Duane Barry era. regarding whoever was conducting the tests on her, she says she couldn’t resist them. hey what does THAT mean!!!

things look close to getting revealed when she says it’s time to go. like i said, i can imagine this is probably top ten worst sensations of all time.

so she drives back home and skinner is there??? HUH???? she looks sooooo gagged. and i was too.

(tell me why. oh god this is awful. tell me why my first reaction was “she must be going back to her mom's place... and he’s dating scully’s mom”) (cue the "i'm going to start dating her HARDER" scene from the office)

back in New Mexico. to end the ceremony, mulder must not do any work, change clothes, or bathe for 4 days. PLEASE DO THIS THING MY FRIEND. the boys give him a pouch for sunflower seeds, which he asked for during the worst of his fevers. the sunflower seeds... that when he heard them as a kid, reminded him he was not the last person in the universe... my sweet babygirl, who is a grown man breaking many many laws... glad to have you back in our world

albert shares that he went to the origin place, so overall, this mission seems to have been a success. so please, mulder, do NOT screw this up!!! sit in a hotel room and eat your seeds in your dirty clothes just do NOT break the rules of the ceremony that just saved your life.

scully calls skinner, asking why he was at her place, and he denies ever being at her apartment. BUT cig man is sitting right in front of him soooo it wouldn't have been a good time to talk anyway...

mulder is monologuing into the abyss, as he has found a way to infiltrate scully’s dreams!! very impressive!!

cutscene to his father’s his funeral. scully is there. because she is fundamentally good. she hasn’t met his mother before, right? i recall thinking earlier their first exchange might not go well, because of the whole sacrificed the “sister” for her in the hostage exchange deal thing...

but it actually goes as well as a first meeting a funeral can go. and without citing her prophetic dreams, scully tells her that she has a strong feeling he will be found. scully engaging in the supernatural...? are her sisters words ringing in her ear? or does she interpret a prophetic message dream as a message from the subconscious. i don't even think she knows.

meanwhile, a suspicious man watches this. he wants to talk to her away from the others. he makes some vague sort of reference to the UN league of alien safeguarding, and he says with confidence that mulder is dead.

AND THEN HE STARTS DESCRIBING HOW SHE WILL BE MURDERED???? okay could we GET any more unsettling. survey is saying no. anyway, she will be murdered with either with an unregistered weapon and people who will be out of the country right after the crime has been committed, or by someone she trusts visiting her house. uh oh… skinner looking sus

she asks why she is worth killing: "you want something they don’t- justice” hmm. many such cases in american history.

this guy claims to be tipping her off because his colleagues are acting “impulsively” and her death would just draw attention to them. i mean they have already killed like, 3 people if you count presumed dead mulder, but maybe one more would really push it over the edge?

mulder’s mom comes home. AND HE’S THERE!!!! in different clothes. 4 days had best have passed. i refuse to contemplate that he violated the terms of the ceremony.

okay, back from the dead, and he is interrogating his mom about his dad. she is not answering any questions- does she truly not remember or is she just deflecting... she wants to know what the deal is, and he grabs a gun and says it has to do with samantha. and leaves ominously. that man sure does want to make a dramatic exit.

missy wants to come over (scully calls her sister missy!), and she says to come over. but then someone immediately calls and hangs up- a universal sign of danger, as scully knows. she tries to call missy back, but she doesn't pick up the phone. so she calls back and she says she’ll go over to missy's place instead. the air is very very tense. something is about to go down. but what? 

running to her car. and IT'S SKINNER? he says to get in the car. scully goes in anyway but is very clearly suspicious he’ll kill her. AND SHE PULLS THE GUN ON HIM WHEN THEY GET TO MULDER'S PLACE!

“don’t turn around, or I’ll blow your head off” TEAAA! let out some of that rage i was earlier commenting was so well managed.

“don’t think I won’t do it, you son of a bitch” “no, I believe you” <- LMAOOOO he knows she is NOT messing around. and he does everything she asks of him, even sitting on his hands.

NOOOOO MELISSA GOES TO SCULLY'S PLACE AND KRYCHEK SHOOTS HER????? WHAAAAAAAAAAT???? he looks down and realizes it isn't scully, so he tells his companion that they should just leave. absolutely useless flop of a man. how did he even get into the FBI. maybe they'll just take anyone.

back to mulder's place. skinner claims he has the tape, and that he took it from mulder's desk. then why would he have sent her on the fool's errand of trying to find it? and now they BOTH have guns drawn on each other… as someone approaches the door…. presumably mulder coming home???

OHHHHHH this is the first time i have wanted to drop absolutely EVERYTHING and go straight into the next episode, writeup be damned. AUGHHH. what about melissa!!!!!! please let her make it PLEASE I CAN’T WATCH SCULLY ENDURE THIS!!!! can you imagine if she walks in the door and sees her sister bleeding out... hopefully krychek was too much of a failure to even land a lethal wound.

and honestly, from the moment I laid eyes on Krychek way back in s2, so long ago, i KNEW that he was a fucking rat. like. evil evil evil. idk how they’re gonna try and make me like him again if they decide to keep him on as a recurring character, but i truly do NOT give a fuck about what sort of backstory they come up with for him. i’m choosing anger over healing here. 

i’m that guy by the cork board pinning things with string and smoking a cigarette until all the things line up because truly WHAT is going on!!!! 

really great episode; the pacing and suspense were fantastic, i feel pumped to start a new season, i have a million questions but in an exciting rather than an overwhelming way, skinner you are once again on thin ice!!!

[wrestlingisfake]

A brief history of CM Punk-AEW drama

Saw someone ask for a full recap of the Punk/AEW drama. So I spent an hour writing a decent summary, and by the time I finished they deleted the post I was trying to reblog. That's okay, I get it. But since I put in the work I'm just gonna make my own post, in case anyone else has questions.

I have tried to keep this as unbiased as possible, with a summary of the discourse at the end. If anybody needs more clarification on anything you can send me an ask.

CM Punk signed with AEW in 2021. Right away a big issue that came up was his ex-friend Colt Cabana. (Long story.) By early 2022, rumors began to swirl among the wrestlers that Punk was using his star power to get Cabana pushed out of the company. Cabana's friends in the company assumed the rumors were true and resented Punk. This came to a head in May 2022, when Adam Page referenced the rumors on live TV, in a segment with Punk. By this point Punk's relationship with Page and the Young Bucks was damaged beyond repair.

On September 4, 2022, during the post-show scrum for All Out, Punk aired his grievances with the Young Bucks (always referring to them as "the EVPs") and Adam Page. Punk clearly believed the Bucks manufactured the "Punk is trying to force Cabana out" story and leaked it to wrestling news sites to turn the locker room against Punk. Punk closed by saying that if anybody had a problem with him, he had an "open door" policy, and he'd be in his dressing room. The Bucks and fellow EVP Kenny Omega went to see him. A fight broke out. Everyone involved--even people who just tried to break it up--was suspended for a while (except Punk, who was going to be sidelined for months for a torn triceps either way).

We don't have much solid information about the September 2022 fight. Most reports I read suggest Punk and his friend Ace Steel made it physical, with Punk punching one of the Bucks (maybe both, I can't remember) and Steel throwing a chair and biting Omega. One account said the Bucks kicked the door open, unwittingly hitting Punk's dog in the face and knocking several teeth loose, which would have provoked Punk's side. It's also been suggested that since Steel's wife was in the room and in no condition to flee a potential three-on-two ambush, this could have made Steel and Punk feel they had to come out swinging. There is no footage of the fight, but there were neutral parties who witnessed it (notably including AEW's chief legal officer, Megha Parekh). Everyone involved signed NDAs and can't/won't talk about it on the record.

For the next nine months, it wasn't clear if Punk wanted to come back to AEW, or if AEW wanted to bring him back. Lots of people suggested that Punk and the three EVPs could talk it out and then make a lot of money turning it into a fake wrestling feud. But Omega and the Bucks showed no interest in talking to Punk or working with him. Ultimately Punk returned in June 2023 on a new show, Collision. The idea was that the EVPs (and anyone else who couldn't co-exist with Punk) would stay on Dynamite, and Punk would have carte blanche on Collision.

Within a couple of months, reports emerged about backstage issues involving Punk. The main one that blew up involved Jack Perry, who was always tight with the Bucks, and was typically on Dynamite, and not on Collision. Perry had vacation time scheduled and wanted to shoot an angle to explain his absence, in which HOOK would throw him into a car windshield. For some reason it didn't get done on a Dynamite taping, so arrangements were made to shoot it at a Collision taping. Everybody who thought the windshield spot with real glass was a bad idea asked Punk to talk Perry out of it. It's not clear whether Tony Khan approved the spot for Dynamite, or rescheduling it for Collision, or allowing Punk to have the last word. Ultimately the windshield spot was canceled.

On August 31, 2023, Perry wrestled Hook at All In, and they finally did the windshield spot that Punk previously nixed. Perry went out of his way to reference the earlier story, saying "You know what this is? Real glass! Go cry me a river," as if daring Punk to do something about it. After the match, Perry went behind the curtain just as Punk and Samoa Joe were getting ready for their match. By all accounts, Punk complained to Perry, Perry was like "what are you going to do about it?" and Punk decided that justified starting a fight. It was broken up very quickly, and then Punk got all hostile with Tony Khan, saying "this place is a joke and you're a clown." Punk was asked to leave, and within a week he had been terminated with cause.

The "CM Punk did nothing wrong" position, generally speaking, is that AEW is severely mismanaged, with Tony Khan allowing the Young Bucks and their friends to do a lot of dumb bullshit, leaving Punk no choice but to take matters into his own hands. Punk's enemies within AEW conspired to turn the locker room against him, and used wrestling news outlets to spread anti-Punk stories to turn the fandom against him. In any case, Punk is the biggest star AEW has ever signed (if not the biggest star AEW will ever sign), and it was bad for business to let him get so discouraged.

The "Punk screwed Punk" position, generally speaking, is that his grievances with AEW management stopped mattering whenever he resorted to physical force. His Bruiser Brody approach to throwing his weight around is backward and outdated in the 2020s (and didn't even end well for Brody in the 1980s). His assumption that the Bucks planted anti-Punk stories in the media is unfounded, and rather paranoid. He resents the EVPs for lawyering up instead of burying the hatchet, even though he feels totally justified taking the same approach with Colt Cabana. Basically, Punk thinks he can do what he likes, and anyone else who does the same against Punk's wishes is a snake, a clown, or soft.

Splitting the difference between these takes: Everybody should have talked this out by early 2022, before it got out of hand. Tony Khan should have gotten out in front of the the "Punk is trying to get rid of Cabana" rumors before they got online. Punk and Cabana should have come to terms on how they would co-exist as soon as Punk joined the company. Adam Page should not have bottled up his grievances until he was on live TV, and Punk should not have bottled up his resentment about that until a media scrum. Once it got past that point, and the first fight happened, Khan needed to take charge and settle it, immediately. He needed to choose, in September 2022, between keeping Punk aboard at all costs, or showing Punk who's boss at all costs. Instead, he tried to have it both ways for a year, until Punk made that impossible.

[tommyxgrace-always]

Tommy -Ada bond

He actually went to her for everything. They came a long way since s2, when she had said this…

Personal, Business or Politics. He relied on her on all aspects. I especially love how he spoke to Ada about Grace. As if he knew, she is the only one who could remotely understand why and what he feels. She lost the love of her life too, she and Grace got along well. She was the most natural choice.

Here’s a recap of how he gradually relied on her over the years.

🌿In s2, Ada is the one Tommy trusts to post his letter to NY incase if he dies on derby day.

🌿In s3, Ada stays with Tommy and Charlie at Arrow house after Grace’s death. Later Tommy asks her to handle his Boston company for him. She also helps set up the meeting with Russian communists that Tommy requests.

🌿 In s4, Ada is keeping the family together for him. She is his source and support when he is outcast from the family. He asks Ada to set up a meeting with Jessie Eden, she even calls out loud what Tommy refuses to admit “he is becoming hopeful”

🌿 In s5, she is his political advisor. He rants about his nightmares and fears to her. Not even Polly. He also talks to her about Grace, seeing her hallucinations. What he feels when he sees it etc. he is at his most vulnerable at that point.

🌿 In s6, he trusts her to handle the Mosleys, Gina and Uncle Jack in his absence while Ruby is sick. He even asks her to help with overseeing his businesses, she visits his office and the shop on his behalf. Interesting when Lizzie rants to Ada about wanting a normal man, we do not see Ada react or agree to her. Ada knows her brother and who he is, his pain and suffering. She doesn’t judge him as a bad husband in that moment or any moment. Because she knows, she must be feeling pity for Lizzie but she doesn’t blame Tommy for her woes.

Following this post:

[ingravinoveritas]

How are you doing after all the lovely new GO/David and Michael content we got today? I'm just so happy they're back together again, and that we are getting so close to season 2!!!

Hi, Anons! Oh my goodness, what a day it's been. Anon #1, you've asked how I'm doing, and the truth be told, I'm genuinely emotional. I don't think I truly realized how much I missed seeing Michael and David together until we finally got them in the same interview today, and those photo call pictures.

The thing is, it's not as if we haven't seen them at all over the last year, as both Michael and David have been busy with work and different projects. They've both done interviews and appearances on their own, but there's just something that comes into being when they are together that's missing when they're by themselves. This third thing between them, that is so palpable it's almost visible. We know Michael and David are closer now than ever, but it's as if the chemistry between them has grown and transformed into something much, much deeper.

To your point, Anon #2, I absolutely did notice that Michael and David nearly held hands at the beginning. I think it was Michael who attempted first, then David, before they settled on linking arms:

What gets me about this--what got me earlier when I watched it and still does now--is how instinctive and natural it was for them to reach for each other's hands. I had a feeling prior to this, but it seems almost certain that they have held hands before. Neither one of them hesitated for a second, except for seemingly having to stop themselves from holding hands and linking arms instead. The contrast becomes even more stark when you see the video of Nicole Kidman and Zoe Saldana walking onto the set in a similar manner--it's incredibly awkward, and there is none of the warmth or chemistry that Michael and David have in abundance.

The other part that stood out to me about this woefully short and inadequate interview was how toned down Michael and David both were. This is particularly noticeable when Michael is describing Good Omens and refers to David/Crowley as "my best buddy":

There is a lot happening here, not the least of which is both of them looking completely disgusted as Michael says that (the "meh" head nod from David, and then Michael sucking his cheeks in and looking like he's choking on his own bile). I think both of them were/are under specific instructions not to talk about the second season or share anything that could be construed as "spoilers" (including but not limited to The Thing, which you know they were both dying to talk about), so that is certainly a large part of why this went the way it did.

But there does seem to be more going on beneath the surface. We saw David in the photo call earlier today wearing a "Leave Trans Kids Alone" t-shirt under his jacket. Yet here on the One Show, he is no longer wearing the shirt. It doesn't seem farfetched to guess that the BBC asked him to change out of the shirt, and Michael--not wanting David to stand out for the wrong reasons or get flak for it--changed his own clothes in solidarity.

The strangeness is further compounded by something that was pointed out to me by several folks via DM, which is that in the pictures from the photo call, David is visibly not wearing his wedding ring:

As we know, David always wears his wedding ring, which makes its absence even more conspicuous. Could he have simply forgotten it on the nightstand in Michael's hotel room? Sure. But what makes things even weirder is that he is indeed wearing the ring on The One Show. So, to recap: David is not wearing his wedding ring when he has the trans pride t-shirt on in the photo call, but he is wearing it when he doesn't have the trans pride t-shirt on on television.

What this leads me to think is that someone--the BBC? Amazon? PR?--is making some specific (homophobic) marketing choices, which in this case means trying to sell the show to a mainstream (a.k.a., straight) audience, and therefore told Michael and David both to tone down the gayness (as if that's even humanly fucking possible for either of them) overall, but especially when talking about the characters/plot.

Taking all of this into account, what happened later in the interview is even more glorious, which is Michael giving the biggest "fuck you" to all of the above (BBC/Amazon/PR) by doing what he does best: Being Michael--because when can he not?--and (again) calling David's hips "slinky," followed by getting in a good, long, loving, sexy stare:

All of this leads me to your comments, Anon #3. I know you had sent this prior to now, but I wanted to include your Ask here because I think it speaks to exactly what we saw today. I've thought about what you've mentioned so many times, because that's exactly what I think Michael and David do and are for each other--a safe place, and they have truly helped each other through some of the hardest times in their lives.

Thinking about David's anxiety, I find that especially poignant given today's events, and how vocal David has become in recent months. I think he deliberately wore that trans rights shirt and that rainbow pin because he knew how much reach they would get...but at the same time, I am sure he knew the risk of doing so, and that it would set him up as a target.

It's very easy to imagine David feeling that anxiety before the photo call today, knowing what he was going to do, and Michael calming him--maybe even holding him in his arms if they had some time alone this morning. And when they came out onto the set of The One Show, you could see Michael nearly bursting with pride and love as they walked together. Even when they got flustered nearly holding hands, as soon as they linked arms, they both became so calm. It felt as though Michael and David were a united front--on their side--and while David flashed a big smile to the camera, Michael could not have given two shits about it, because he was holding onto David and never letting go.

Michael couldn't say the things he wanted to today, but that's not what today was about. It was about him stepping back and giving David room to be in the spotlight and to shine. Soothing David's anxiety and encouraging him to be vocal the way Michael has been for the past four years. He's supporting the man he loves, and it is so beautiful to see.

So yes, those are my thoughts on the new GO and Michael/David content from today. I'm truly hoping that Michael and David have an opportunity to do an interview where they can be totally unleashed and say exactly what it is that's on their minds. But I'm still so glad to see how much relief and joy it brings them to be back together again, and I hope they'll get to do it a lot more in the weeks ahead. Fingers crossed...

[thecouchsofa]

2023 ao3 wrapped / fic review / whatever else I'm putting here

@oflights, the human, the myth, the legend, has made me go look at my stats and now you have to look at them too. Tagging @jtimu @elskanellis @sillywives @sleepstxtic @maesterchill @peachydreamxx @hoko-onchi-writes @starquestingfordrarry @rainstormradish @apricitydays-lazynights @annanother-thing @uncannycerulean @drarrymyheart @mallstars so they can also feel this sweet, sweet pain (if they want).

First up, some stats!

Fics posted: 7 public, 1 currently hidden, 1 awaiting submission date + 3 tumblr microfics

Fics started (and maybe finished): 18 + 3 tumblr microfics

Word count of fics posted: 414,013

Total word count written: 513,953

Sorry, but what the actual fuck do you mean I've written over 500k words since April? Put me in restraints, truly.

My favourite fic I wrote this year: The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls

My most kudos'd fic of this year: Driving me crazy (but I'm into it)

I've also read, like, a fucking horrendous amount of fics this year. More than I think I read back when I was deep in the One Direction trenches as a teen. Getting back into writing has given me a fresh appreciation for everyone's work; it's so fucking hard to write well and everyone who puts themselves out there and does that gets an online hug from me.

After Erised reveals I'll be posting a ridiculously long list of my favourite fics that were posted in 2023. It is ... exhaustive. I should probably be embarrassed by how long it is.

But without further ado, a recap of my fics from this year.

May

Driving me crazy (but I'm into it) (8k, E) (Draco/Harry)

Draco’s fucked a lot of people. He’s fucked models, Quidditch players, members of the Wizengamot, even a Muggle actor, but none of them come quite as prettily as Harry Potter.

September

A Walk in the Woods (48k, E) (Draco/Harry)

After ending up in the Spell Damage Ward at St Mungo’s, Harry is put on mandatory holiday leave.

The catch: he has to spend it with Malfoy at his cottage deep in the woods. Harry has no idea why Malfoy agreed to host him, considering he avoided ever being alone in a room with Harry before he left for his sabbatical a year ago.

To complicate things, Harry’s enormous longstanding crush hasn’t waned at all in Malfoy’s absence.

For: HP Cottagecore Fest

The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls (256k, E) (Draco/Harry)

Harry doesn’t know how to cope after the War. The only things that make him feel even remotely normal again are taking risks while flying and fighting with Malfoy. It’s not likely to end well.

Or,

Draco becomes obsessed with ‘Wonderwall’, reads Muggle books, and drives a campervan, while Harry slowly falls in love with Draco. A story about travelling around the British Isles in the late 90s while healing deep scars.

October

Capillaries (3.6k, M) (Draco/Harry)

Draco’s Sectumsempra scars have never fully healed. He says that it’s not Harry’s fault, that he doesn’t blame him for it. Harry hears him, but he’s not sure that he believes it.

Evergreen (23k, T) (Harry/George)

“You’d better hurry up, mate, or all the good ones will have gone.” Fred leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, clearly thinking that he’d now exceeded his allowance of brotherly wisdom for the day.

“Who are you going with then?” Harry asked suddenly. He looked between Fred and George, a thoughtful expression on his face.

Harry asks George to the Yule Ball because it’ll be a laugh and he’s in dire need of one of those. If George can continue to keep his crush under wraps it should all go swimmingly.

For: HP Rarepair Fest IV

Celestial (paint me like one of your starscapes) (30k, E) (Draco/Harry)

Draco needs a partner for an art project. The only catch is, they have to be magically compatible with him for the paints to work properly. He’s fairly certain that he knows who his partner will need to be, he’s just not sure that he wants to admit it.

For: H/D Sudsfest Lite 2023

November

November Flush (5k, E) (Draco/Harry)

Draco Malfoy might be an absolute raging arsehole, but he gives Harry exactly what he needs.

Microfics (all Draco/Harry)

From one to another, for the prompt 'follow': tumblr link

Til resentment do us part, for the prompt 'keep': tumblr link

Satiate, for the prompt 'indulge': tumblr link

Thoughts / feeling / goals for next year

Pride, slight embarrassment, love, appreciation.

For the coming year I'm excited to get stuck into writing even more. I've got so many ideas that I'm excited to work through and a fantastic community to do that with. I will need to be bullied into not signing up for more fests in the new year, so please give me a nudge if my blogging starts to look stressed. Also never be nervous to send me a message about random shit if you're on the fence!

If you have read this far, have read even a single sentence I've written this year, or have thought my Squirtle pic looks cool, I love you, I appreciate you, and I support you.

The motto for 2024? Bedcurtains. One word, not two.

Thanks for being here! ❤️

[gayofthefae]

"Byler is unreciprocated". Agree. "Mike doesn't love Will back" 🤡😵‍💫🫨⁉️⁉️🤯 WILL LIKES MIKE? Let's recap their relationship in the show:

Mike and Will are best friends. Mike looks for him desperately and saves him, they reunite. Will has PTSD and gets possessed. Mike lovingly protects him and is even protective of him from their other friends. He sleeps over both in his bedroom and doctor's office. Will is upset with Mike for having tunnel vision and ignoring him and Dustin. Mike tells Will they have to grow out of spending so much time together. Will is hurt. Mike apologizes, then reiterates later that he does still want to spend time with Will. [Mike can't tell his girlfriend he loves her] Will moves and Mike doesn't keep in touch. Mike ignores Will so Will ignores him back. Mike is upset that Will is ignoring him so he confronts him about it. Will asks him what they are and Mike defensively stutters out "friends" before Will clarifies that the answer he was looking for was "best friends"(platonic). Will forgives him but Mike apologizes anyways by telling him that his absence left a hole in Hawkins with how much he missed him and tells him in eager anticipation that he wants to be "best friends" again. [Mike talks to Will about how he can't tell he loves her] Will empathizes with Mike that some truths are hard to tell when you don't want to break anyone's heart and Mike relates to the statement. Mike tells Will he's scared he isn't needed and Will tells him in veiled love confession that he will always need him (ooh! Here! Will does like Mike back! You were right!) but tells him that El is the one who thinks so not him. Mike tries to tell El he loves her but ultimately doesn't until Will coaxes him to using his own loving words framed as El's. When they get back, Mike is attached at the hip to Will, even opting to, when he's concerned for El, stay with Will and ask him about her instead of going to her.

(AKA Mike's POV of his unreciprocated love)

[pedroschka]

SHOTS!

Joseph Quinn x reader

Summary: you find yourself in a bar taking shots with Joseph Quinn and leaving with his phone number

words: 1,5 k

A/n: felt inspired by the Spain Story to finally start writing again! Big Thanks to @icallhimjoey for giving my brain a kick to keep me on track, much love!

Unsure of what distraction you wanna go after at the moment you lay cuddled up on your couch and switching between scrolling through your phone and watching some sitcom playing on the TV, which occasionally gets an amused Snort out of you.

It was Saturday and after an exhausting week, you told yourself that you needed a weekend for yourself and maybe clean up your flat, do the dishes, bring out the trash or do some sport. But this was another you plans which has no similarity to this you who was scrolling through memes for over two hours now, with trash and dishes still happily lying in the kitchen, untouched.

A new notification stirred you out of your trance-like state and you saw that one of your friends send you a message with a picture attached to it

- " Isn't this that bloke you're obsessed with the whole summer?? We're partying with him he's buying everyone shots!!! "

- image attached -

No fucking way.

You abruptly sat up, clinging to your phone with sweaty hands and zooming in on the picture with shaking fingers. There he was, Joseph fucking Quinn in the same bar as your friends, which you canceled on because of your stupid healthy second personality.

- " holy shit no way, I'm coming over!! Nobody fucking moves!!" you quickly type back

TV and phone forgotten and with a blanket still tangled around your legs, you stumbled through your flat to make yourself somewhere decent looking in record time, because no way are you meeting your celebrity crush for over 6 months in your pyjamas.

Surprised by yourself and the uber system you achieved to stand approximately thirty minutes after you received the text message, in front of the dimly lit bar from which a remarkable amount of chatter is coming off already, busy night for sure

You wriggled your way through drunk people towards your group of friends who already are beckoning you over with tipsy waving.

'' you got to be kidding me, the one weekend I cancel on you my future husband is in the same fucking bar! " you babble straight away, your way of greeting.

" Either he wants us all to know that he's rich or that he's British " "or both"  "but this man actually turned on a timer and every 20 minutes he's giving out shots" two of your friends giving you a recap of what happened in your absence

" we already got our rounds from him, you want some? " your other friend asks, and you looked at her with wide eyes and then at the table with a round of tequila shots, most of them already empty. Nodding quickly and right away drowned two tequila shots, desperate for some drunk confidence. Screwing your eyes shut for a second, embracing the burning feeling going down your throat

"holy shit, I can't believe he's really here"

" well let's go, talk to him"

Looking at her like she grew three heads " what... What do I even say to him?! Hello, I cried harder over Eddie's death than at my grandma's funeral?!"

" I bet he's already so drunk that he would just say thank you and offer you another shot"

Taking a big breath and focusing your eyes on the man in question at the center of the bar, a mop of tousled curls surrounded by a group of apparently other fans or just people who gladly engage with him in exchange for free booze.

Taking all your courage, and with shaking legs you made your way to the counter, sweaty hands grabbing the edge of it, just to have something to hold onto. You stand now only a few meters away from the very man you watched interviews of at 2am while giggling like an idiot.

Just as you rummage your brain for a charming but funny way to grab his attention, a shrill beeping sound went off, making you jump a little, and he suddenly swirled around, big brown eyes meeting yours, and shouted " SHOTS! " right at your face.

and before you know it you stand in a bar, in the middle of sweaty and drunk people taking tequila shots with Joseph Quinn.

Take that for a first impression.

Slamming the shot glass a little too hard on the counter and giving a comically 'whoop' from him, a few drops of tequila running down his chin you seriously asked yourself why the hell you were so nervous to meet him because now he reminded you more of your drunk uncle when watching sports games. But instead of your uncle, Joseph Quinn managed to look hot even when swaying and alcohol breath coming off from him, or you just were already in too deep.

" hi I'm Joe!" he shouted at you over the noise

As if he needed to introduce himself you thought but told him your name

"I don't live under a rock I recognize the man of the year when he stands in front of me"

"Oh shut up" he snorts a bashful smile on his face now

" no you are very subtle about it, even got a shot timer and everything! " you both started giggling and his hand finds balance on your arm like you didn't just meet each other 5 minutes ago

"in my defense..." he holds up his finger but dropped It again as nothing comes to his mind "I don't know I guess I'm just very British" and you both started giggling again. Intoxicated minds turning everyone into a stand-up comedian and best friend for one night.

After a few more drunk small talk and giggling you looked at him wide-eyed like a light bulb just went off inside your head

"ohh by the way British, I'm actually in London next month! Let's meet up!! " your voice getting louder with your enthusiasm and his eyes grew even wider at your information

"fuck you're kidding! That's awesome! We should totally hang, wait imma give you my number so you can text when you're there yeah?!"

You both fumbled with your phones, squinting at the sudden brightness and trying to make out the blurry numbers. Both way too excited over the possibility of meeting up again.

Right after, the next alarm comes off from Joe's phone and you linked your arms together and gulped each other's shots.

As the night continues you both lose count and conversations turned indefinite and slurred until you both part ways with the promise to meet each other again and a toddler-like hug, literally just holding onto each other so nobody falls.

...

You woke up the next morning and wished you wouldn't wake up at all anymore, glad you're actually lying in your own bed with clothes on but with what reward?! The biggest headache you ever felt and vomit already crawling up your throat. Hangovers were no fun but especially not after reaching the age of over twenty.

Around noon you felt good enough to finally check your phone, maybe it can help to fill your missing memories from last night if you even wanted to know.

The first thing you saw was a new message from your friend with an image attached to it, deja vu

"oh no" you mumbled shocked as some memories came back to you, very surreal memories!

In the picture, you and Joseph fucking Quinn, linking arms and taking a shot

Your friend's message under it

- '' thought you wanted to frame this <3"

Idiot.

Hastily scrolling through your contacts, not sure if your memories are wishful thinking or reality and in fact, under the letter J was a new contact

- Joeeeeee q.

Your stupid ass remembers telling him to put the Q behind his name so you can remember which one he is. As if you know so many other Joe's.

Now panic. You have joseph Quinn's number. Result of a very drunken night. Which he for sure doesn't remember. Does it even matter if you write him, He probably won't respond. You could just enjoy it and live in a daydream about him like all the other days before.

But otherwise...

You're staring at the message you typed in and your thumb hovers over the send button... It's now or never

- " was a pleasure to meet the man of the year last night! I don't remember much and you surely even less but I think we wanted to meet up next month when I'm in London" With your name under it, on second thought you even send the image your friend made of you both right after it.

Right after you click send you made an inhuman squeak sound, chuck your phone away from you and throw yourself face down on your bed again, face squished in a pillow and regretting every life decision you ever made.

After doing literally anything to busy yourself the Bing for a new notification on your phone makes you stop in your tracks while holding a now clean dish in your hand

"Please let this be mum, please let this be mum" mumbling under your breath while speedwalking into your bedroom again, anxiety unbearable

Taking a deep breath and opening your phone you saw that it was in fact not your mum writing you

- "you're right I don't remember shit, feeling like it too. How are you doing?"

-" do I really look like that when taking a shot?! "

From Joeeeeee q.

(reblogs and comments are very appreciated additional to your likes)

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls- Season 2, Episode 22 (Last Episode of the Season). "I Can't Get Started" Part 4

Aaaaand we've finally arrived at the finish line for Season 2. I began recapping this season on November 25th, 2022, the day after Thanksgiving...310 days ago. SaltyGilmores! SaltyGilmores! Can you tell us a little about how you're feeling as you prepare to begin season 3?

You ever watch a Stars Hollow crowd scene on Gilmore Girls and go, who the hell are all these people and where did they come from?

This is so ridiculously corny and cute. This is what we live for. This is what Gilly Girls is all about. You ever see some of the spicy tight and low cut blouses Lane wears on this show and wonder how Mrs Kim ever allowed her out of the house? I'm asking the important questions today.

R: I'm about to cheat on your ass so hard your head will spin. I am gonna kiss my stepcousin so hard.

D: (pointing to Miss Patty, Babette, and the Stars Hollowans gathered around the piano) How many cocktails caused that? R: None, but when they start drinking we're going to have to hide you. One of ASP's favorite recurring jokes is the one where Miss Patty, left to her own devices, would inevitably try to force herself sexually onto Jess and Dean; it's unclear in this scenario whether that is the threat or if it's "we're gonna have to hide you or she'll make you sing.". But I can take a guess here.

There's another sexual predator who loves tall pretty teenage boys lurking around this wedding that you should be more concerned about.

Dean gets a "We're calling to discuss your car's extended warranty" call and pretends it's someone important on the line so he can keep fooling Rory into thinking he actually has a life. Uh, anyway, it's Paris? Calling Dean's phone? Alright.Rory asks Paris how she got Dean's number but It's never explained. Paris is a wizard.

Sookie is having her wedding on a Friday afternoon. It is a Friday and Rory is not in school (AGAIN!), Dean, Lane and Jess are not at school (AGAIN), Rory is missing ELECTION DAY at school where she may potentially be elected Vice President, Lorelai is not working and making Michel fill in for her, there are dozens of other people attending this wedding who are not working, IT'S A FRIDAY AFTERNOON NO ONE IS WORKING (EXCEPT MICHEL) OR GOING TO SCHOOL THEY'RE ALL AT THIS WEDDING. Also, everyone is DRUNK on a Friday afternoon. Well I can't hate on that. What else is there to do in the Hollow besides drink away your troubles? Headmaster Charleston: Miss Gilmore, would you care to explain these multiple unexcused absences? Rory: Well, two weeks ago I ditched school to take a bus to new york city to eat wieners with my cousin and this week I skipped school to go to my mother's friend's wedding which she scheduled for the middle of the afternoon on a Friday, and I had to stick to my agenda of going to the wedding and kissing my cousin. Paris doesn't directly say that GellerMore won, but Rory thinks it's implied (and we already know they win). She proceeds to notifiy Dean. Who is just...over the moon upon hearing the news.

Well...okay. Fine. I'll take it. Where's the angry posseiveness? Like the time Rory wanted to spend time away from him volunteering? Or spend one night away from him doing her laundry? Or spend an hour eating lunch with Jess? Or.. It's probably because this time there are witnesses around, although that would imply Dean actually has some level of self awareness that his behavior is inappropriate. Speaking of Inappropriate...

Well, that answers THAT question.

...Says the sexual predator, as she drools over him like a dog eyeing a well cooked 6'4 steak.

Don’t drag my girl Babette into this, she's devoted to her Morey. Unlike you two beasts, Lorelai and MP, she has some standards).

Chris Hansen would have a field day at this wedding with all these predators in one place. Why does Crusty's suit look like it's incredibly ill fitting? Maybe it's just me.

STOP IT!!!! I COMMAND YOU TO STOP IT!!!

Lorelai and Crusty are shamelessly swapping spit in the middle of her friend’s wedding reception, sullying the virgin eyes of Rory and a minister and Sookie and God and Lane and everyone else. Lore to Crusty: Stop looking at me like that or everyone here will think we did it! Pretty rich coming from soneone who looks at Dean Forrester the same way. I HATE that I'm recapping this FILTH and don't know WHY I'm doing it. Crusty (before Lorelai's parents walked up and mercifully interrupted them) Do you feel embarrased about last night? Sorry about it? Want to repeat it?

IN FRONT OF HER GOSH DANG MOTHER/GRANDMOTHER OF HIS CHILD. Disgusting, filthy, shameless psychopaths.

Dat's a good question.

I mean, it's a half truth, at least. Now you wanna tell your Mom how he used his daughter's medical appointment as a springboard to dive straight into your pants?

Has he now? Golly gee whillikers, I must have missed that part, must've happened in between all the rounds of projectile vomitting I've been doing.

Lorelai, with the world's worst poker face as she daydreams about her next Crusty Porking, convinces Emily that Christopher is only here to spend more time with Rory and Emily is like well isn't that nice. Are we really supposed to believe Emily is that fucking stupid?

Let's check back in with some of the more non-loathsome residents of the Hollow. Take it away Kirk! Then take ME away. Please.

Rory, for your own sanity and wellbeing, please keep your mind unsullied and pure and don't ask your crusty father questions like this.

Oh Rory. Oh my poor sweet innocent bubs, Rory.

Nobody owns calendars in the Hollow, I suppose. Please see my throbbing, rock hard photographic proof above that this wedding is happening on a Friday. (Not to mention, if it was Sunday...Paris is at school?) I will have to squeeze the remaining four minutes (The Jess Minutes) into one final post. After I mop up my barf. Toodles.

[untilteddocument]

After-Action Archive Caves of Qud - The Cradle and the Grave

Welcome again, one and all, to the After-Action Archive! If the previous hors d'oeuvre was to your liking, here's the...salad? It's not the main course yet. Soup? Like restaurants do appetizers first, and then they do soup and/or salad, and then the main course, right? I don't know, whatever, this metaphor is breaking down fast.

ANYWAY here's Part Two of my journey through the Tomb of the Eaters! Even abridged as this recap is, there's a lot of ground to cover, physically and otherwise. With that in mind, we've miles to go before we sleep.

After the rubble-strewn entry hall, I and my team made for a side hallway and the pit at the end of it, leading to the first "real" section of the Tomb: the Folk Catacombs.

I feel the weight of centuries here, the base of a vast monument to death. There is a heavy, hushed feel in the air, not holy but not mundane either. The wet scrapes of oozes picking at the bones, conservators loosing the quiet whines of their servomotors, the low chanting of the death pilgrims in prayer to whichever sultan they revere, even the deliberate rustling of cloth as the graverobbers sneak among the piles of rubble and oddments. I sniff, amused, at the realization that even here, in this dead place, this death place, there is some semblance of the exchanges and tangles of life.

I hear the chime of the Bell of Rest, and wonder at the necessity of its effect. Isn't everything with the Mark of Death on it supposed to be...dead? Perhaps it's a deterrent for graverobbers, those seeking to cheat the system. That would make some sense, though why it doesn't just strike everything dead to make sure and have it all swept up by conservators is a question...I probably shouldn't be asking, since that oversight is what's giving me a chance here.

As we pass even more walls of bones, I take the time to examine some, wondering at the shapes. Most look like many of us, not even just the True Kin. A few don't look even remotely similar. And what did that matter, anyway? Did an inch here, an angle there, matter at all? We live, we drink, we die. I entertain a wild dream of the Putus Templar crumbling under that knowledge, that kinship.

I shake myself awake from it, for the only knowledge the Templar own is dogma and the only kinship they feel is for humiliation drugged to sleep with violence. We will find no salvation from them in logic. They would deny the mountain in the same breath as naming it their enemy.

We pass more walls, and I find myself wondering at what the eyes that would have been set in those sockets drank in, what those hands held, what words passed the holes of their ears. This world was not always choked in salt. Did they greet each other with "live and drink"? Was water so plentiful they saw no need to hoard every dram?

I find myself thinking of the outside. They say the ruins in the jungles are of unfathomably vast Eater settlements. My mind aches attempting to imagine. Each of these, living in some great canopy of metal and stone, knowing nothing of the world that would grow in their absence, perhaps each wondering in their quiet moments the same as I am right now.

My musings are broken by a mechanical cry for help.

I look to its source and see a painted turret being engulfed by a gelatinous cupola, its cameras turned unmistakably to me. While initially confused, I leap to action anyway, the ooze falling in the space of a few attacks. After some cursory cleaning, I take a look at the one I had saved.

I remember Zothom's recounting, and I realize that this must be the entrance to the mopango's home, and this is Vivira. I put my tinkering skills to work with some quick repairs and greet em.

I mention where I heard of this place from, and...

I have a feeling I know why ey's offering me sympathies, but...

Well, ey're definitely a turret, because those were some shots fired.

Related to self-realization, though, I asked em if, being that ey're of the mopango, ey had a credo.

Having been warned beforehand about asking the meaning, I ponder it myself in silence.

There is an obvious meaning in eir specific context. Ey is a turret, created to be a tool of order and death, and yet here ey is, growing and learning more among these literally-underground philosophers. Form needeth not follow function. Body need not be being.

That can be applied elsewhere as well. Appearances do not govern reality. The seeming of prosperity can hide want. An inviting cave can be a mouth. A fearsome beast can be a frightened whelp hoping to chase away a threat. That threat can be a simple passer-by, unconcerned with all but a distant destination.

Much to ponder.

I thank Vivira and resolve to meet Agyra, of whom ey spoke. It doesn't take long; ey happens to be in just the next room.

My conversation with em proves informative and interesting, as Vivira posited. After introductions, I decide to ask about eir people.

...I feel awkward and silly as soon as I ask, but my mouth beats my brain to the punch.

I'm glad my curiosity was received well, and it heartens me to know that the adage of "it takes a village to raise a child" holds true here as well. Speaking of, I wonder at their leadership structure.

I agree on its sensibility, and I am warmed by Agyra's joy. On to brass tacks, though.

I suppose that means I'm truly lucky. Aside from my given task, the treasure I seek is mostly in the form of knowledge, and what Agyra proceeds to describe will, I discover, prove most intriguing.

Of course, before I forget, and before departing Agyra's company, I have some more information to glean.

Dardi will be happy, I'm sure. As for the credo...it certainly suits em, in the obvious interpretation. As one so happy to share knowledge, truly the worst scenario is one who questions in ill faith, or with ill intent. Such questions are not aimed to learn, but to harm, rendering the whole exchange toxic.

I continue to ponder other possible interpretations of the credo on my way to find Lebah, who despite eir secluded place is easy enough to find.

Lebah is reticent, as Agyra mentioned. I introduce myself and privately resolve to take up little of eir time and peace.

Huh. Wondrous and profane, indeed?

Careful questioning reveals this k-Goninon to be an elder ooze, much like the gelatinous cupolas that populate this place, compounding the danger of their floor-eating fluids with sheer size and appetite. On the plus side, oozes are not specifically hostile to me, but I may have to confront it regardless, if it decides hunger is more urgent.

More importantly, that description of the device...what prison could Lebah mean? The Tomb certainly could be seen as one, but something tells me this isn't a simple key for a simple door. These children...despite the importance of my task, I find myself wanting to know more.

Speaking of knowing, I ask Lebah for eir credo.

Heh...I hide my laughter, lest it be mistaken for mockery. That credo, if my interpretation is valid, has much relevance in the now. The Girsh rising again, the Putus Templar marching as they will, an unprecedented signal from on high...I don't think I could put it better myself.

Thus heartened, I continue my journey.