#my cousin has been more like a brother to me my whole life everyday from when we were babies to teenagers we spent like everyday together i

[emmcfrxst]

jesus christ i've just been catching up on everything going on at ur workplace rn and im so so sorry bby what the FUCK. it's super understandable that with all of this u're in over ur head, so u better not be worrying abt not answering asks !!!!!!! u're doing so so good dealing with this bs; it'll be over soon, i just know u're gonna nail that interview & u'll get the safe, kind & organized work environment u deserve im manifesting it so fucking hard <333 also wishing ur boss a bomb in her cereals

there’s been a really heart wrenching family tragedy involving a horrible miscarriage as well so i have A Lot on my plate rn but i still feel bad for not writing as much 😭

[fatimaah]

76

Good thing I don't keep a vlog or whatever and I don't have followers waiting to read my journal pages cuz sometimes there are those 3-4 week blanks in here....not only in here, but in my life too.

...or maybe those aren't blanks, just things I don't want to write about.

But today, as I'm supposed to sleep but can't (cuz I slept the whole day without pAreNtAl cOntRol), I finally got this burst of motivation to document my life. My thoughts (and fEeliNgS)

*every time I write in ThOse lEtTerS, know that I'm rolling my eyes*

Such a familiar feeling. The one I get every summer. "routine boredom". When I'm tired of my room, tired of talking and seeing people I see everyday during summer (aka my parents and siblings) and when I'm just tired of things being so SAME .

This summer wasn't really three month passing the same. Every month of this summer something happened. Either with my relationship with my parents, either with my dad, either with someone else and all those changes ....they weren't so positive. I felt miserable. I don't feel miserable now but....I still remember that fear and sadness.

Recently everyone has been so busy around me. My friends, family, relatives. Someone got a new family member born ( aka my aunt, we're going to her house tomorrow to see the BABYYY ! awww I love babies), someone (aka my other aunt) came to visit their relatives from Uzbekistan (aka us), someone (my other other aunt) found out their son is a fucking asshole who stole almost all of my dad's money and got got his whole family deep in shit and left.

I try not to make it obvious but...I hear what my parents talk about. I hear when they talk at night, I understand when they give each other different hints. I know that our family situation isn't at its best because of that asshole. I don't know why they never ask for help. Why they don't ask my brothers to finally get a job. They pretend that it's all perfect and everything. They say some things like oh yeah our family isn't as rich as it used to be so be more wise when you decide to buy something. But they don't tell us anything. They could let me help.

a few days ago on all emotions and anger I started yelling at my mom. It happened suddenly. When she wanted to ground me for staying at my cousin's house for 30 more minutes. When she told me I can't hang out with my friends for the whole summer. I got so angry. I told her so many terrible things. Told her I don't see any love coming from you, you are too protective and you never trust me or my friends. You think I'm too childish yet you treat me like an adult when it comes to chores. You are like an example of a mom I never want to be....and then at the end I even told her you're so bad you make me feel like I don't belong to this family and all this hysteria I'm having is your fault cuz you failed as a mother

I wanted to hurt her. And I know it's super wrong. It doesn't matter who was right in that argument. Wanting to make your mom's heart ache and wanting her to cry and to feel guilty is not what I should have been wanting. That's not what nice daughters want. I felt like I was right at first. But I really hurt her. Sometimes I forget my mom has feeling because she's so straight to the point and so serious just like my twin brother. Ugh, and I hate it. I hate talking to both of them.

My dad told me...your mom is hurt and sad. She cries a lot and she feels terrible. She's been depressed but now she's even more miserable.

Hurting her didn't really make it for me. Knowing she cried a lot because of me didn't fix a thing. It only made me feel like I am a terrible daughter with super complicated mom. It made me feel like I.... I don't know if it's right to say but it made me feel like I was kinda turning into her. And I hated this feeling.

I want to be a nice person who cares about other people and other people's feelings. But sometimes....but often times I can't force myself to give a shit about their feeling. It's wrong. It's wrong and I know it....and still..I kinda don't care.

I don't know why I'm writing all of it but my point is, no matter how hard I pretend to be a nice good caring daughter ...sometimes I break the character and I only really feel like myself when I'm mad at everyone. When I'm hurting someone's feelings because they hurt MY feelings .

I kinda hate myself. I don't like me. Especially after I hurt her like it. When I said sorry she started crying and she couldn't stop.

She asked me " do we REALLY make you feel that oppressed? Are we actually really bad parents? Is that what you think about me? That I don't love you?"

And I don't know, mom. I don't wanna know if you love me. I know the answer. I really thought about it and I think you do love me. But I still keep feeling like you don't. I am not making sense. I forgot how to write a journal in the way it makes sense. I want to run away.

Eventually we sorted things out. She's been weirdly nice after than. And I stayed weirdly the same after that.

I wonder what she thinks of me. Does she think I was right or does she think I was just making a scene and I just have "victim mentality"?

Why do we need to feel things. I wish feelings weren't real. I wish all I could feel was love.

But I feel hate and annoyment much more than I feel love. I can't say I love my mom. But I care about her feeling more than I care about other people's feelings.

I love her.

And I want her to love me to

And she already does.

And I didn't write about anything going on in my life but somehow writing about my mom made me feel like an Azula copycat hahaah

No..it actually made me feel better.

I should sleep now. this journal keeping motivation comes so randomly maaan..

August 15th, 2024

[anxietyjedi]

A grudge or a boundary?

So...nothing has really changed in terms of the family dynamic that I deal with. The "Cold War" that has been going on for over 20 years continues, and honestly I don't foresee that ever changing. It will never cease, but it was also never become a full-scale blazing hot familial conflict. It's just me maintaining my distance from people that I do not want to be around.

Now, my own brother did try to explain how dynamics within that reach of the family tree have changed, and change they might there are still some things that I cannot let go of. One major contrast is I like to step away from gatherings. My social battery has never been one that can take constant interaction, and when it gets really low I don't get tired I get agitated. Not a looking angry kind of agitated, at least not at first, but more like impatience. It is like I am waiting to go somewhere but can't leave yet for one reason or another. Given that, I was always given a hard time for not wanting to be around them all the time, especially when it was me doing my own thing. Going a step further, the things I had to put up with to "keep the peace" were always losing situations for me. I've grown to hate the idea of "can you just do 'X' just to keep the peace" and see it as a "Yes, we understand it's shitty, but you have to get bent over because of (insert whatever BS reason here)". At the age of 12 I went from having my own room to having to share a room because we had to house one of my cousins to protect her. Fine. However with that came a whole slew of mistreatment; being 12 but being treated like I was half that age. Prior to my cousin coming into our home I walked to and from school on my own, spent hours by myself without supervision for two to four hours everyday after school, but suddenly I was being treated like I needed close supervision. Oh, and the occasional dumping of my backpack...yeah, that was a blast. Not sure what they were looking for, but that never happened until my cousin was there.

I could go on and on, and in every instance I was the one that was miserable for one reason or another. Always me, never someone else, and all in the name of "keeping the peace". Yes, their peace at the cost of my own. So yeah, no, I don't think I am going to establish any connections with them beyond the courtesy that I already give. I have them as contacts on social media for one reason and only one reason; I love my mom more than the outright disdain I have for them. That's it.

Anyway...that brings me back to the title of this entire post. I made a public post referring to how I was constantly dog-piled and explained to what I was going through in life from people who had nothing to do with my life, i.e. the relatives I don't care for. One person commented, my brother, who summed it up as me holding yet another grudge. Is it though? Is it a grudge, or is it me holding a boundary to refuse to be treated like I had been in the past?

As a very dear friend of mine has said to me, I have the right to not associate and I am invoking that right as I have for the last couple of decades. Now, if I was actively aggressive with them, I would totally see it as a grudge, but that is not what I do. What I do is simple, I keep my distance and interact at the bare minimum. I really gave it all some thought, but I never want to be put into a position where my boundaries are trampled over.

[cafeinthemoon]

The Home I Crave - Chapter 1

Title: The Home I Crave

Genre: Fanfiction

Pairing: Tobirama Senju x reader

Rating: teen and up

Word count: 1317

Chapter: 1/?

Symbols: ⭕ | ➕ | 💛 | ▶️ 

Warnings: Lots of angst, bottled up feeligs, fights and heated arguments

N. A.: Dont mind me, I’m just putting a self indulgent fic out there lol The idea for this story has been on my mind for months, but I never found an opportunity to write it vecause I was too worried about all the unfinished works I already have, but yk who cares about that? Let’s be self indulgent because we deserve it

Summary: Your clan kept some business with the Senju since the Warring Period, but now the Hokage of Konoha and head of the powerful clan, Hashirama, wants to strengthen their alliances with your family through marriage. You, the eldest daughter of your clan’s head, is the chosen woman to represent your side of the treaty, while the other part will be performed by Tobirama, Hashirama’s younger brother and a man you’ve never met in your life.

“So why don’t you leave me alone

Say you were wrong”

(Plumb, Jekyll and Hyde)

As the eldest of five daughters in an important family, you always knew that more was expected from you in the primary aspects of life. To primary, of course, your family understood the duties of a woman of your class, which could be summarized in training to be the good wife in an arranged marriage. The same destiny waited for your sisters as well, but you were the one to open the way for them.

Your family was not only a noble one, but the clan’s head’s family. Being a clan of warriors who fought side by side with the most prominent of the Land of Fire during the Warring Period, all of you were raised as capable kunoichi taught since childhood to value the shinobi ways. Joining forces with another powerful clan through marriage was then the natural goal imposed to you.

You weren’t the greatest enthusiast of it, but neither you were its main antagonist. You thought you could do it as your mother did and just move on with your life. Would there be room for love in your life after you get married? No one knew, but it could be good. Maybe if you got some time to know the man chosen to be your husband, to talk to him a few times during the engagement period, the seeds of such sentiment could have been planted. When you compared your clan’s standards to others you were allied with, you could say yours were liberal as no other and your father was a reasonable man, so that you were counting on his wisdom in that sense: he would introduce the candidate to you first, you would discuss his strong and weak traits and come to an intelligent conclusion both for you and your family.

Well, this is what you were expecting. But life doesn’t always gives us what we expect.

One day, you just came back from a training session and were cleaning yourself in your room. Your parents came to talk to you, and just by their cheerful expressions, you sensed something extraordinary – but much expected – has happened.

When you questioned them, they alternated between themselves to explain the situation.

- A messenger just came from the newly-formed Hidden Leaf Village, y/n dear – your father started – The crest on his clothing indicated that he was sent by the Senju.

- By their head himself – your mother added, uniting her hands in joy.

The Senju head? Who was he… Oh, of course, Hashirama, the same man who was chosen to rule the ninja village he created alongside the Uchiha. The news were spreading fast, and you heard of many clans deciding to join them everyday. Considering that you had some business your own clan had with the Senju, it seemed that your turn has come.

But you didn’t hear the full message yet.

- Hashirama-sama is inviting us to a meeting at the Hokage’s residence – your father continued – He wants to discuss some details about the already existing alliance between the Senju and our clan. According to the young man who brought the message, his leader is studying a way of strengthening our connections. And he wants to do this as soon as possible.

As soon as possible? Indeed, things were happening fast these days when the war is over and people were directing their efforts to different projects.

- You must have heard that he recently united the Senju and the Uzumaki by marrying the young Mito, their head’s daughter – your mother pointed out – Now, he wants to propose the same type of alliance to us!

So, it finally came. The arranged marriage. You should have seen it coming when the word alliance was mentioned. Still, you were interested now: the Senju were one of the most powerful and influential clans of that time, as old as it could be, just like the Uchiha and Hyugga, so marrying someone from them wasn’t to be taken lightly.

- You, being our first daughter, are naturally his main interest in this, y/n – your father explained – Alongside the man chosen to represent the other part...

The other part – your future husband. Who was going to be the chosen one? Maybe one of the Hokage’s closest men of trust, or a cousin or…

- His younger brother and advisor, Tobirama.

Younger brother? You crossed your arms.

- I… I didn’t know Hashirama Senju has a younger brother – and in a lower tone – I thought he lost all his siblings in war when they were kids.

Your father laughed, if at your ignorance or your morbid comment, you couldn’t tell.

- No, dear, he still has a brother who works by his side since the creation of their village. According to what I’ve heard, this young man is competent as no other: he takes care of the paperwork when his brother is too busy, mediates negotiations, presides meetings and perform all the boring part that falls on your shoulders when you have an older brother who is too invested in changing the world’s politics.

You needed a moment to process all you’ve heard. So Hashirama Senju still had a brother, and he was the backbone of his political career. And now he was intending to take a new step on the alliance you’ve already had with his clan by setting a marriage between this brother and you. You thought about it: men like this one were necessary in any system that wants to keep functional, because they were the only ones who could get used to have all eyes to their work and no time to rest. Smart, wise, they usually were; a pleasing company outside the office, well, that was debatable. But with a few of them you could to talk to.

You tried to show some amusement by the news, in respect to your parents who were so excited for bringing them to you, as well as to give this man you didn’t even know the benefit of doubt. Maybe a few practical questions about the meeting would calm down your anxiety.

- So, Hashirama is inviting us to a meeting at his office to discuss the this marriage and for us to meet his brother.

When you asked that, you sensed a hesitation in your parents’ manners that you didn’t like. What was wrong?

Your father was the first to speak.

- Well, actually we are not going to see Tobirama in this meeting, dear. He was sent to a mission in the Land of Wind and must not come back before the date set to the encounter. However, his brother and him came in agreement about the marriage with a young woman of our clan and set the conditions to the treaty, so that he knows everything that is going to happen while he’s away.

You definitely didn’t like this arrangement. You would be there to discuss something that would change your whole life and the other main part wouldn't even come to look at your face? Something like this just couldn’t have much chances to end up well, no matter how good were preparations that the Senju man could have done. You wanted to tell this to your parents, but something held your tongue: they probably have thought of this while talking to the messenger and even dedicated a line to these worries in their written response to the Hokage; besides, you wanted to see how things would unfold. You’ve learned, in your life as a shinobi, that one gains much more when they show patience rather than precipitation, so you would wait until the day of the meeting to see the rest. Of course everything would be fixed during it, and all your doubts and insecurities about this arrangement would be clarified.

Of course they would be.

[judediangelo75]

Her Fear, His Truth

Hi~

So I did feel a bit of inspiration to right this random as I’m teetering on the edge of falling into a food induced coma. But I’m fine, I want to write more Talith (Talbott x Judith). This is going to taking place after the whole “Without You/The Man Behind the Necklace” series (that I might edit, don’t quote me.)

For those who are familiar with my MC and the building lore I’m trying to create here, her fear is the words “I love you”. She fears them because the people who cares leaves her alone and the person whose suppose to love her (AKA her mother) loathes her very existence. So if anyone tells her those words, she most likely lash out.

This is what I’m covering here. This is happening in 6th year when Talbott finally corners his evasive girlfriend to talk about what happened.

Warning: Mentions of suicide attempt

-----------------------------------------

Talbott understood more than anyone how valuable personal space was. 

Which was why he didn’t hover over his girlfriend.

She only woke up just a few days ago from her coma, took her older brother to the cemetery where their father had been laid to rest, and found out she and Jamal have a half-brother. All in the same day.

He was okay with giving her some breathing room until she came to him to talk. Only...

She didn’t.

He had an inkling of a feeling that she was purposely avoiding him. He still remember telling her the words that have been residing in his heart for quite some time.

“I love you, little bird...”

While he didn’t outwardly show it, he was emotional for the week Judith been asleep. He never knew that she felt so strongly to try to kill herself. He felt like he failed her as her boyfriend. He known her ever since third year, even crossing paths with her unknowingly from childhood.

He never felt the connection he felt with anyone else.

She has been a constant ever since re-entering his life. Her absence for the week she’s been staying in the Hospital Wing was unsettling. 

He missed seeing her in his classes.

He missed seeing her during lunch where they would sneak off into one of his hiding spots for a private lunch.

He missed her smile. Her laugh. Her sassy eyerolls. Her voice. 

He missed her. 

Everyday, he would visit with a bouquet of flowers, spending time in her presence to ease the ache in his chest.

He still remembers the first night of her in the Hospital Wing, he snuck out to be next to her. With no prying eyes of their friends, Talbott finally submitted to his tears. He held her unresponsive body in his arms, silently pleading to her to stay.

To stay with him.

He already lost his parents years ago. He was determined to keep everyone else from entering his heart again.

Until he met her again. 

Something about her pale gold eyes was familiar to him, but he wasn’t sure from where.

He got his answer when he followed her to the cemetery. Met the man who was his parents’ oldest friend from when they went to Hogwarts. The same man he remembered from that one day from his childhood.

Kendrick Harris, his girlfriend’s beloved father.

When he realized that she was the same little girl he told his secret to, who he taught how to waltz, who gave him an odd but warm feeling in his heart...

The pull was undeniable.

He forgot about keeping his distance. Forgot about keeping others out of his heart. He wanted to try to put the pieces together to what this feeling meant. They became close. Friends even.

Until he realized he couldn’t see her as that. Talbott remembered the intense ugly feeling he felt when he spied Judith with Andre in the Courtyard when flying overhead in the Courtyard during the Celestial Ball. 

Especially when Andre kissed her.

That feeling, he came to realize, was jealousy. He couldn’t bear to see them any more and flew away.

He was convinced that they would be the perfect couple. Both are fashionable, athletic, intelligent, well-known students in his year. It would make sense for them to be together. 

After all, Talbott was a loner who preferred to company of a good book, birds, or himself. He heard some whispers from students about being the long lost cousin of the owls that live in the Owlery. Didn’t help that he was basically built like a Bowtruckle.

Why in the seven hells would Judith look at him like that when there was Andre? 

But she saw something in him. Something that made her choose him over someone who would be considered her perfect match. 

Which was why they got closer. 

Their first date. Being each other’s Valentines. Becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. Making their relationship public at the Festival.

Talbott knew he basically fell for the girl over the years. Accepting that he was in love with her when he gave her the heart statue.

She’s the only one who trusts with his heart. A heart that was holding on by a thread.

Her suicide attempt made him realize that he never told her the words that lived in his heart for so long. Why he told her as soon she was in his arms.

But she hasn’t said anything back, only squeezing him silently.

Now he barely could see his girlfriend since then, and Talbott has had it.

He had David send her a fake note, asking her to meet him in the Courtyard at night. 

He stayed hidden in his Animagus form, waiting for the familiar shape of his little bird to step out into the moonlight.

He didn’t have long to wait.

Judith silently walked into the still Courtyard, gold eyes scanning the area for her friend.

She figured he had something important to tell her why they couldn’t just do it in their Common Room. 

“David? Are you here,” she called out quietly, hand on her wand just in case. She just by the fountain when someone spoke. 

“David isn’t here, but I am.” Judith sharply inhaled at the sound of her boyfriend’s voice. She silently cursed when she realized that she’s been set up.

But she couldn’t get mad.

She has been avoiding the Ravenclaw loner. With all of that has been going on lately, the biggest bombshell was his confession.

Something she feared when she realized her Patronus changed that night.

She couldn’t look at him. Not because she was disgusted with him or that she repelled by him.

No.

It was because she was terrified. Knowing she would be forced to deal her reality, her fear, just like when she faced her Boggart in third year.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. 

“T-Talbott. What are you doing here,” she asked, her voice trembling ever so slightly. Enough for the wizard to notice. Talbott walked up, resting a gentle hand on her shoulder. He noted how tense she felt under his palm.

“Judith, look at me,” he muttered softly. Judith bit her lip, unwilling to move from her position. Talbott sighed, walking around so he could face her. Only for Judith to lower her head.

“Judith, look at me,” he said again, an inkling of desperation and agitation could be heard in his voice. Judith still hasn’t made a move or spoken.

“Little bird-”

“Don’t call me that.” Talbott stared at the Hufflepuff witch with wide eyes. He could practically feel the temperature drop due to her icy tone.

“And why not,” he asked, holding her hand. Something was wrong, something that made him feel like she was withdrawing from him.

He bestowed that nickname onto her when she transformed into her Animagus form. He found it fitting and has been calling her that since third year. Hell even longer than that.

To suddenly to stop calling her that... it was like she trying to break the bond that they’ve created since they were children.

He refuses to let that go, he refuses to let her go.

“I-I...” Judith struggled to get the words out. She wasn’t looking at him, but she can feel the heartbreak and longing in his beautiful gaze. She stiffened when she felt his arms wrap around her, pulling her close to his chest. It was when she heard it.

“I love you, Judith...”

Talbott wasn’t prepared to feel the air literally knocked out of him as Judith punched him in his stomach repeatedly. But he didn’t let go of the suddenly emotional Hufflepuff.

“Don’t fucking tell me that! Let go of me! Let go!” Judith’s voice morphed, bringing back that familiar accent he remembered from childhood. It was also thick with sadness and fear.

“No, Judith. Please talk to me,” he pleaded weakly, trying to regain his breath. Judith never has hit him before, but something told him it wasn’t intentional. Judith melted, ceasing the attack on his torso.

“Don’t tell me you love me, Talbott. Please,” she begged, finally looking the wizard in the eye. Talbott was shocked to find so much pain and fear in her otherworldly irises. 

“Why, Judith? Please tell me, little bird,” Talbott answered in kind, cupping her cheek so he could hold her gaze. He was desperate to understand why she didn’t want him telling her how he felt about her. Why she wanted to pull away when he uttered those three little words.

He wanted understand why she wanted him to let her go.

“I... I wouldn’t be able to handle it if you left me too,” she whispered. Judith knew she couldn’t escape her boyfriend. He wasn’t going to let her.

“I would never leave you, darling,” he whispered, trying to pull her close. Judith shook her head, pressing her hands against his chest.

“Everyone who told me those words leaves at some point, Talbott,” Judith mumbled, feeling the familiar burn in her eyes. 

“Everyone. My grandmother, my father, even my brother... People I love always leave. I... I... I love you too much for you to do the same...” Red eyes widen at her confession. 

She loves him...

Judith gasped when a pair of lips claimed hers. She stared through teary eyes as Talbott kissed her. She felt as if all her strength was sapped from her, she couldn’t find strength in her limbs to push him away. 

A weak moan escaped the back of her throat as she felt his teeth sink into the soft flesh of her bottom lip. A shiver ran down her spine when she felt the stone of the fountain press against her back.

“Talbott,” she squealed when she felt him hoist her up by her thighs. Her legs immediately locked around her boyfriend’s waist. A flush colored her cheeks as she stared into half-lid red eyes.

“Say it again,” he whispered, pressing closer. This was the first time they ever been in such a... intimate position. Judith was finding hard to think.

“W-Wha-Mhm?!” A heated kiss was pressed onto her lips. As quickly as it started, it ended.

“Say it again, little bird,” Talbott pressed. Understanding what her boyfriend was getting at, Judith bit her kiss swollen lips. 

“I... I-I love you,” she whispered quietly, looking down. The Ravenclaw wizard wasn’t having it, taking a hold of his girlfriend’s chin so she can look at him.

“Again,” he said. 

“I love you,” she repeated again, a little louder.

“Again.” Judith suppressed a growl, confused as why Talbott seem dead set on hearing her saying that one phrase.

“I love you, Talbott!” Talbott kissed her again, this time softer. The Hufflepuff didn’t resist, wrapping her arms around her love’s neck as small tears escaped the corners of her eyes. They pulled apart after a few moments.

“I love you too, Judith...” came the soft reply. 

“It’s always been you, Judith. I would never want to leave you, not now. Not ever. I know you fear loving others, I can see it in your eyes. But let me show you that it’s worth it. I know if your grandmother and father had a choice, they would still be here with you. While I can’t speak for Jamal, I know he loves you enough to risk his life for you. His little sister. They will always love you. I will always love you and I’ll try my hardest to stay by your side. Please, little bird, don’t shut me out. Don’t be afraid to love,” Talbott said. He watched as her pale gold eyes became misty with tears, trickling out her eyes like small rivers. 

But she held his gaze.

“I...” Talbott held his breath as he waited for her trail off. If she ended things between them, he knew his heart wouldn’t recover from this.

He loves her. Truly. Deeply.

“I trust you, Talbott... and I love you,” Judith said in a hush tone. She couldn’t deny the emotion in his eyes. Or the feeling that exists in her wounded heart.

She wants to love and be loved. And here was someone who was willing to accept her love and to give it back to her in return.

Unconditionally.

As if to cement her words, Judith pressed her lips against Talbott’s.

“I love you... I love you... I love you...” she whispered against his lips after each kiss. Talbott melted against his little bird, sighing.

This where he was meant to be.

“I’m with you, Judith. Forever and always, darling...”

[because-of-a-friend]

Dad!Seventeen

Thanks for the compliments anon! I hope this is what you wanted! I ended up just doing it in reaction style and ran with the dad/uncle idea to show how they’d interact with their kids and the other boys’ kids! Feel free to request more! (Sorry it took so long, I had a bunch of extra long shifts at work)

MASTERLIST

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

LOVES HIS KIDS!!!!!

OMG!!!!

To Cheol, his kids are his whole world

Obsessed with just gathering them up in his arms and hugging them tight

Definitely a cool dad

His kids trust him and feel comfortable around him 

He literally can’t say no to them

The other boys’ kids realize this as well

So everyone goes to Uncle Coups to ask for stuff

“Seungcheol, why would you let my kid eat three ice cream cones?”

“I don’t know, Jihoon, she just looked at me with those big eyes and I couldn’t say no”

But honestly Coups would do anything to see his kids smile and just cares about them so so much

Just the weakest sweetest dad/uncle ever

YOON JEONGHAN

Jeonghan thought he was clever and cunning

His kids are 10x more so

Like Cheol’s kids, they get whatever they want

But it’s not bc Jeonghan just lets them have it

It’s bc they’re really good at arguing or sneaking their way into getting the things they want

He adores them for it tbh

Like so proud

“Jeonghan, your son managed to sneak my kids out of our house to have a sleepover at yours”

“Wow! He really did that???”

“Jeonghan!”

“Right, right, I’ll get onto him for that”

Is really excited when his kids and everyone else’s are teens and older bc he’s really good at giving advice and enjoys having genuine conversations with them

But honestly just adores his kids and is always so proud of them and fascinated by every little thing they accomplish

JOSHUA HONG

Joshua’s kids have perfectly packed lunch boxes and cute little matching outfits and the best manners of the kids in their classes

He treats his kids with respect and teaches them patiently and his love for them is immense and obvious

The kind of dad who is always looking over at his kids during parties and get-togethers to just watch them and smile at how they’re interacting with others

He always pins all of their best grades up on the fridge and makes them feel so special anytime they accomplish anything

Really just a cookie-cutter perfect dad 

The other boys are jealous lol

“Can your kids hang out with mine more? They need a better influence than Jeonghan’s son”

“Hey!”

“Hannie, please, we all know your kids get all of ours into trouble”

“...yeah”

But seriously, perfect dad with perfect family

MOON JUNHUI 

More of a friend than a dad tbh lol

His kids get to do whatever they want as long as Jun gets to come along

“So you were with all of our kids when they snuck out?”

“Yeah, that’s why it’s fine, I was there”

“Jun, I think you might be missing the bigger picture”

He’s the chillest dad

His kids and all of the other boys’ kids like to hang out with him bc they know that means a day of playing video games, eating snacks, and taking naps

His kids adore him for it tho and never feel scared to tell him anything

He makes sure they solve everything together so they never feel like they have to handle anything alone

KWON SOONYOUNG

Excited to pass his talents onto his kids

Like from the moment they start to walk he tries to teach them dance moves 

And his Significant Other is like “Soonyoung pls”

And he’s like “They have to learn to dance”

Devastated when one of his kids mentions they want to learn songwriting from Uncle Jihoon

“Soonyoung, you’re overreacting”

“No I’m not, if she’d rather write songs with Jihoon then she can be his daughter, she is no longer mine”

But seriously, he loves his kids 

And he’s going to support them whether they want to be dancers or singers or doctors or artists or anything

And he’s gonna do whatever he can to help them get there

But he likes to get them involved in his every day life to show them how important it is to have them around and how much he enjoys including them 

JEON WONWOO

Just imagining Wonwoo and all the little baby Wonwoos with their matching glasses

Also has incredibly polite kids

Like Wonwoo, some of his kids are more introverted so they’ll spend their time entertaining themselves

He does, however, get stuck with some extroverted kids

And he like...

Does not know how to handle their endless social energy

He’ll spend so much time trying to entertain them and spend time with them

But then sometimes he’ll just be like 

“Ok, we’re going to take a trip to Uncle Joshua’s house so you can all play with your cousins!!!”

But he seriously adores his kids

Like Jeonghan, he’s fascinated just watching them grow up and make their way through the developing phases of life 

He’s just so immensely proud of them always

LEE JIHOON

Everyday Woozi is like “who tf let me have kids”

He just gets so confused by them and the things they do

“What- what even went through your mind that you thought this was a good idea?”

But at the end of the day, no matter what they do

His overall reaction is just like 

“Cheers, I’ll drink to that bro”

Really just kind of goes with the flow

I can def see him going to the studio with little ones on his lap

They kind of just become little extensions of him that follow him everywhere and do whatever he does

They all wanna be just like him

And he doesn’t understand bc he’s not sure he’s even a good dad so he doesn’t get why these little beings think he’s the greatest person on earth

But he’s happy to have them around and feels so grateful for his kids

LEE SEOKMIN

Guess who is raising his kids to have the exact same cheesy sense of humor he has

It’s Seokmin!!!

As a result he thinks his kids are the funniest people on earth

They make him laugh all the time

His family are always the loudest people at any party

But it’s cause he lets his kids be kids and never gets upset at them for things kids do

Like talking really loud lol

As a result his kids feel free to explore any endeavors that they’re interested in

Seokmin’s schedule fills up pretty quickly bc of this

One kid has art class at one and another has volleyball at two and then another has science camp at three

But he just wants his kids to explore all of their interests and he’s happy to do whatever we can to help them do that

KIM MINGYU

Sweetest, cutest, most precious kids in the whole world

Just a bunch of cuddly kids that are EXACTLY like Mingyu

And Mingyu is just so excited??? To just see them???? Every single day???

Definitely the overly clingy dad that just wants to be around his kids 24/7

And the super embarrassing one too

Always peaks his head in when his kids have friends over 

“You guys want any snacks?”

“Oh my god dad, get out!”

But he’s also a super fun dad and his kids are really grateful to have him

And the other boys’ kids love to come over bc he makes the best snacks

(Don’t tell Jun or DK that, they’ll get jealous)

But just such a cute sweet family

XU MINGHAO

Also more like a friend than a dad

Like seriously

Unless you explicitly knew Minghao was his kids’ dad, you’d assume he was their older brother or cousin

They just kind of always chill

Like Hoshi, there are interests of his that he is so so so excited to teach to his children 

Especially art!!!

He can’t wait to see how his kids express themselves in a creative aspect

They’re all in an art class with DK’s kids 

Which leads DK and Minghao to spend more time together as they wait outside the class for their kids to be done

And then give each other looks as their kids show off their art work

But Minghao is super proud of them bc he can tell that that’s all they really want: to make him proud

Sometimes he feels more like a spectator in his kids life but he doesn’t really mind

Because they’ve always been independent and he lets them decide what they want and is happy to give advice when they come to him

But really just wants them to succeed in whatever they want to succeed in and trusts them with making their own decisions

BOO SEUNGKWAN

You know he has the cutest kids in the world

Seungkwan only realizes how sassy he is when his kids take after him and make sassy remarks to him 

And then he makes that offended face lol

Like Joshua, his kids have really cute matching outfits

But the cuteness factor is multiplied by like ten-thousand lol

Bc Seungkwan has a habit of singing all the time

His kids gain that habit too

And they get really into certain songs

Another dad that feels betrayed bc when his kids learn that Uncle Jihoon writes songs, all they wanna do is spend time with him

Jihoon doesn’t understand how he just has this growing posse of little children that just watch fascinated as he’s sitting in the studio working on new music

Along with, of course, Hoshi walking in to ask if anyone wants to watch him dance, and Seungkwan and Mingyu coming in to offer everyone snacks

But Seungkwan’s kids are kind of fascinated with everything and Seungkwan just has fun exploring the world with them

HANSOL VERNON CHWE

Vernon’s kids see a side to him that no one else gets to see

They unlock a really deeply emotional part of him and he adores his kids

He really really loves the quiet moments with his kids

When they’re falling asleep watching cartoons

When they’re super concentrated on drawing in a coloring book

When they’re happily stuffing their faces full of food

He just lives for the moments where he can watch them enjoying life or figuring things out for the first time or really just existing 

He gets really really nervous about being a father bc he doesn’t want to mess anything up

But he knows that as long as he keeps his mind open to learning and keeps his kids’ best interests as his first priority, they should all be ok

Occasionally gets overwhelmed with how much he loves them and will just grab them and kiss all over the top of their heads 

Just a cute dad who really really loves his kids

LEE CHAN

Since he’s been babied by the other boys for so long, he loves being able to baby his kids

They are SPOILED beyond belief omg

He’ll buy them anything or do anything with them or cook anything for them just to see them smile and show them the love he has for them

Convinces his kids to take little dancing lessons from Uncle Hoshi, since Hoshi is jealous that everyone’s kids want to learn about song writing from Uncle Jihoon

Aside from Coups, Dino is probably the most excited that him and all the boys are still good friends even well into their fatherhood days bc it means his kids grow up with extra Uncles and tons of cousins

It’s also a relief to know that his kids have so many other people besides him they can trust to ask for help or advice

To him it’s just like SVT kept growing bigger and bigger

 They’re all one giant family and he wants to keep it that way bc he wants his kids to feel safe and supported their whole lives

[officialscaramouche]

coping mechanisms

pairing: Chongyun x Xingqiu

summary: Chongyun musters up the courage to confess to Xingqiu, but it doesn’t go as planned

word count: 3,343

warnings: angst that fluffs at the end

notes: i woke up wanting to make chongyun cry so here u go

Chongyun closed the door by leaning back on it, kicking his shoes off haphazardly with a sigh. “I’m home,” he said quietly. If his little cousins hadn’t been waiting for him, the rest of the family wouldn’t have known he came back.

“Big brother!” They screamed as they jumped into his arms. “Play with us! Play with us!”

Chongyun grunted when he caught the two, exhausted mentally and physically from the day. “I’m sorry, guys. Maybe later, I want to lay down for a bit.”

“Awww no fair!” They frowned when he put them down.

“Now, now,” Chongyun’s mom walked the corner slapping her palm with a wooden spoon. “Give him some space. He’ll play with you two later.”

The kids run off laughing to continue whatever they were doing and Chongyun’s mom walks up to bring her son into a tight embrace. “Well? How was your date?”

Chongyun sighs into her shoulder, her immediately picking up something was wrong. “What happened? Did something go wrong?”

Chongyun pulled back and began walking upstairs to his room. “I don’t wanna talk about it,”

Her eyes follow his movements as he disappears upstairs. “Chongyun, you know I don’t like when you bottle things up,” she calls out, waiting for him to respond. “It makes it more difficult for you to perform exorcisms!”

Chongyun balls his fists in frustration, throwing his bedroom door open. “I’m fine!!” He yells back, slamming the door closed once he was inside. He throws himself onto his bed, the mattress bouncing for a bit as he listened to his family talk about him downstairs.

“That boy,” his mom breathes. “He’s got some temper, you know.”

“I know, honey,” his dad replies. “Just give him space. I’m sure he has his own coping mechanisms. He’ll be fine.”

Chongyun smothered himself beneath his pillow. Normally he would be fine. But this wasn’t some failed exorcism or messing up during practice. He peeked from under his pillow up at a picture on his wall. It was taken after he and Xingqiu had come back from a haunted house-- to which Chongyun believed was a genuine haunting. Xingqiu wore a silly costume pretending to be a zombie and he stood next to Chongyun with his mouth hanging open as if to bite the exorcist’s neck.

“Why am I so stupid!” Chongyun hissed, kicking his legs and thrashing about. Xingqiu was the most important person in his life. He couldn’t imagine living without him. That’s why he used today to make sure Xingqiu had a wonderful, memorable day.

Recalling the day’s events, Chongyun began by picking him up at his house. Xingqiu looked dolled up as usual. “Hi Chonggie,” he smiled with a wink. “You said you had a surprise for me?”

Chongyun blushed, now feeling like his gift was a little dumb. “Yeah,” he nodded, pulling out a small piece of paper from his pocket. “Although I guess you wouldn’t really need it.”

Xingqiu took the paper and read it quickly, a toothy smile spreading across his lips. “A coupon to Wanwen! Thank you Chonggie!!”

The scholar grabbed the exorcist's hand and dragged him off. “W-Wait, I have a schedule for us—”

Xingqiu looked back at Chongyun as they hurried down the bustling streets. “But now we gotta go to Wanwen!”

“O-Okay, you’re the boss…”

Chongyun stood there pouting as Xingqiu took his time going through all the books on the shelves. ‘We’ve been here for an hour,’ Chongyun thinks. ‘We’re supposed to be flying kites right now…’

Xingqiu clutched a book tightly to his chest. “Chongyun, I’ve been waiting forever for this book! I gotta tell you all about it!”

Chongyun couldn’t help but feel his frustration dissipate when he saw the sparkle in Xingqiu’s eyes. He had forgotten that today was supposed to make Xingqiu happy, not to follow a schedule. Xingqiu grabbed Chongyun’s hand and led him to the counter. “Yes, I look forward to hearing it.”

After the bookstore, Xingqiu wanted a nice quiet place to read and sip tea so they sat at a nice secluded area and had tea for an hour. Then, he wanted to walk along the port so they walked and talked for an hour. Then, he wanted to go shopping, so Xingqiu spent another hour bartering with the vendors and buying things he wanted.

Chongyun was getting more and more anxious the closer the sun got to the horizon. Xingqiu could tell because Chongyun grew quieter and dozed off more frequently. “Chongyun!” Xingqiu said suddenly, extending his hand out. The exorcist snapped back to reality and reached out to catch whatever was in the other boy’s hand. He dropped a bright colored sphere. “Candy! We just got some imported from Fontaine. Try it!”

Chongyun delicately unwrapped the sweet and popped it into his mouth. His eyes lit up from the flavor. “It’s yummy!” He exclaimed, chewing on it. “When will it be on the market? I’ll buy some.”

Xingqiu put his finger to his lips in thought. “I don’t know yet. Dad wanted me to go back before sundown so that I could be there to listen.”

“Oh,” Chongyun sighed, looking back at the pink and orange sky. “Then we should go back now.”

The walk back was quiet and awkward, which was unusual for the two. Xingqiu couldn't stand the tension, but he didn’t want to pry it out of Chongyun either. If he wanted to talk about it he would.

Xu greeted the boys with a polite bow as they ascended the stairs. “I had fun today, Chonggie!” Xingqiu stretched with a yawn. “I’ll see you tomorrow—”

“Wait!” Chongyun interrupted, looking away shyly. “There’s something I want to ask you…”

Xingqiu held his hands behind his back nicely. “Okay, what is it?”

The boy was quiet for a bit, looking away nervously and fiddling with his fingers. “Xingqiu, I…you’re my best friend in the whole world. I wouldn’t want to ruin what we have.” Xingqiu stood expectantly, a bead of sweat rolling down his temple. “I…I have been spending every night thinking about this and…and what I’m trying to ask is— is, will you be my boyf—”

Xingqiu looked away and scratched at his cheek. “Don’t be silly, Chonggie.” He chuckled. “We’re just friends, that’s all.” Xingqiu looked over Chongyun’s shoulder and at Xu who looked uninterested, yet uncomfortable with the situation. Chongyun’s shoulders trembled with hurt, his lips quivering uncontrollably and tears welling up along his lash line. “I’m sorry, I really must get inside now. I’ll see you later!”

And now, that evening Chongyun sat at the edge of his bed, a tear-stained picture in hand and ripped it half.

The next morning, Chongyun got up extra early to catch his dad and other relatives in the early morning prayer. He sat down next to his father, his hands on his knees with his palms facing up and hummed.

“Good morning, Little Chongyun. It’s good to finally have you in prayer.” His dad nudged him with his elbow playfully and smiled. “Feeling better?”

Chongyun furrowed his brow. “Prayer is supposed to be silent, I thought.”

His dad sighed and kissed his son’s cheek. “You’re right. Let’s pray.”

Chongyun threw himself into his exorcism practice. He spent many more hours than he usually did, even sat down and studied seriously for once. Days had gone by since he had left his house. Days had gone by since he had seen Xingqiu.

Chongyun sat in the pavilion in the backyard praying when his dad walked into the kitchen and snaked his arms around his wife’s waist. “I’m worried about him,” she whines. “He’s still only sixteen. He needs to be outside playing.”

“He’s doing this of his own volition,” his dad muttered into her shoulder. “It’s his way of dealing with what he’s got going on.”

“Overexerting himself isn’t going to make his problems go away!” She pushed her husband off and swiped a glass from the cupboard, filling it with water from the tap. “I’m going to tell him to rest—”

The door knocked with a visitor, Chongyun’s parents sharing a knowing glance. “I’ll give him the water,” his dad said. “And I’ll tell him to take a bath too.”

His mom untied the apron from around her waist and hung it on the hook, walking over to the door knowing who it was. “Good afternoon, Little Xingqiu,” she smiled.

“Hello, ma’am, is Chongyun able to come out today?” The boy stood so cutely, she thought. He poked at his fingers and smiled so sweetly. But she could see the nervousness in his eyes and the way he clenched and unclenched his jaw.

She sighed, hating lying to him. “I’m sorry, honey. His dad has him sweeping the backyard today.”

“Oh, okay.” He said simply with a hint of disappointment. “Thank you for your time ma’am,” he finalized and turned to walk away.

“You know,” she said, making him stop in his tracks to look back. “You don’t have to come everyday…he’ll show up when he can.”

Xingqiu peeked behind Chongyun’s mom’s waist and saw him walking in from outside, his little cousins following him behind. He was jealous of how close Chongyun was with his family, even if they had to live so uncomfortably close together. “I know,” he grinned again, hiding the hurt in his face. “I just…want to come to him, for once. I’ll come back tomorrow, good bye.”

Chongyun closed his eyes and prayed over his food, thanking Rex Lapis for giving him and his family life and providing food for the city to enjoy. But when he opened his eyes, half of his plate was missing and his cousin’s plate miraculously grew more full. He smiled and ruffled his cousin’s hair. “Where did my food go?” He asked sarcastically.

“Here, honey,” his mom came from behind and shoveled more of the chicken onto his plate. “You need to eat a lot if you’re going to keep working so hard.”

“Thanks mom,” he said, giving her his cheek for her to kiss.

“Are you and your friend doing okay?” She asked suddenly. Chongyun froze at the question, his dad giving her a questioning look. “Normally it’s hard to keep you home, but you’ve been home all week.”

“We’re fine,” Chongyun mumbled into his food, shoving his chopsticks into his mouth.

“He came by yesterday!” His cousin calls out. Chongyun coughs, hitting his chest to keep the food from choking him.

“Yeah!” His other cousin confirms. “And the day before that!”

“And the day before that!”

“And the day before—”

His mom comes up and scoops the little kid from the chair. “Okay, that’s enough.” Chongyun chugs his water down trying to help the food go down. “Are you okay, honey? Do you need more water?”

Chongyun grips at his chest and waves his hand frantically. “No— no, I’m okay. Did…he say anything?”

His mom holds his little cousin on her hip and starts spoon feeding him there. “He always asks the same thing: is Chongyun able to come out today?” She said pretending to be him. “I don’t want to get between the two of you so I said your dad had you doing work.”

The boy was quiet, staring at his food. “Maybe you should open the door tomorrow,” his dad chimes in.

“Yeah!” His mom agrees. “That’s a great idea! He comes around two. I’ll let you know when he’s here.”

Chongyun stood quietly, pushing his chair in and picking up his plate. “I’m not hungry anymore. I’ll be in my room.”

Chongyun hung his arm off the side of the bed, staring out the window to watch the pink and orange sky turn black. He swung his hand around, his fingers hitting the rim of his trash can. He peeked over and saw the torn picture he had thrown away. He felt bad now that he looked at the picture ripped in half. He had separated them in the picture and also in real life.

He had no idea that Xingqiu had been coming over. If he had known the first time, he probably would’ve fallen all over himself to get to the door. He’d been making Xingqiu come by everyday. Taking that walk by himself only to be turned away every single time.

He took the halves of the picture and squeezed them together. He pinned them back on the wall where they were but it would never be the same again. Instead of having a perfect, flawless picture of a happy day, he’s now reminded of his mistakes and how he was to blame for their ruined friendship.

When he woke the next day he felt ill. His head was pounding, he was drenched in sweat, and his stomach was doing flips. His mom switched out the towel on his forehead and put a newly washed rag instead. “My poor baby, it’s because you’ve been working too much.”

Chongyun groaned through the pain and winced when his mother touched his face. “If I can’t do these simple things, then how can I call myself an exorcist?”

She rolled her eyes. “Do you think I became an exorcist overnight? No! Your father and I were just like you and Little Xingqiu. We always snuck off to be together. But look at us now, we carry the family on our backs. You’ll get there, sweetie. Enjoy this time as a teenager.”

Chongyun pulled the blanket over his head. “Mom, I messed up.”

“What’s wrong honey, what happened? Did you two fight?”

“No…I told him how I felt about him. And I asked him out…but he told me we were just friends…” Chongyun sucked in a breath. “I messed up…how am I supposed to hang out with him now? He makes my heart beat so hard, but I don’t do the same for him…”

His mom pulled the blanket down a little to see his eyes. “Chongyun there’s more to life than that. Life is about making memories and going on adventures. But even so, if he didn’t care about you as much as he does, he wouldn’t come over looking for you and acting so pathetic when you’re busy. I think there’s more to it than you think. Ask him about it today.”

Chongyun didn’t get out of bed the whole morning. He drifted in and out of sleep, trying to quell his illness. But he woke once more when he heard soft knocks from downstairs. He heard his mom greet their guest cheerfully and say, “he pushed himself too hard so he’s upstairs resting. Go and wake him up, he hasn’t eaten lunch yet.”

He waited anxiously as the footsteps climbed the stairs, came down the hall, and stopped at his door. It was quiet, and time went by so slow before there were knocks at his door. “…Chongyun? Can I come in?”

Chongyun mustered all of his strength and sat up. “…Come in.”

Xingqiu pushed the door open slowly, peeking his head inside before coming in. Chongyun was still in his pajamas and his hair was all askew from being in bed all day. “Pfft,” Xingqiu shot a hand to his mouth to cover the laugh breaking through his lips. “It smells in here, have you even showered yet?”

Chongyun flushed red and turned his head to the side. “No. Sorry if it’s offensive.”

Xingqiu dropped his smile in guilt. His heart ached remembering how Chongyun looked everywhere but at him during his confession. But the last time he remembered the direct eye contact was when he picked him up that morning. He cursed himself for not being able to remember what they looked like. Blue…like his hair? No, lighter than that…right?

He laid in bed reminiscing on the feel of Chongyun’s rough, calloused hands in his. The way he was so delicate and particular with his fingers, picking up the candy as if it would break if he squeezed too hard. The way he blushed so easily and stuttered when he was embarrassed.

“No,” he said barely over a whisper. “I was just…teasing.” He padded over and sat in front of the exorcist who stared out the window. “I heard you’d been working a lot,” he said, trying to break the silence. Normally he had a lot to tell Chongyun, but now he struggled to even find his voice.

“Yes,” he responded, still with a hint of tenderness despite the anguish. “I spent a lot of time neglecting my duties. But with all this newfound free time, I might as well be productive.”

“I missed you,” Xingqiu said quickly, as if panicking. Chongyun looked at the scholar from the corner of his eye, making him flinch under the sudden gaze. “I’ve…thought a lot about what you said.”

Chongyun exhaled deeply and looked back out the window. “It’s fine,” he said curtly. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it. I understand.”

Xingqiu scratched the back of his neck, looking at the crooked picture with a prominent tear down the middle hanging on the wall. That was such a fun night, he thought. Remembering how he ran to Chongyun at the port when he saw that annoyingly pretty, blonde traveler talking to him. Chongyun was so cute, saying that he wanted to come too, but Xingqiu told him that only two people were allowed at a time. It wasn’t true, but why did he say that? He eyed the traveler up and down, his long and beautiful hair braided so elegantly, his crop cut shirt that exposed soft skin. It made him irritated that he thought he could come. But seeing the tear in the middle, perhaps…he should’ve let them go together. Maybe then Chongyun would’ve confessed to him instead. Maybe he would’ve said yes, and instead of Chongyun lying here wallowing in pain, it would’ve been himself. Alone in his room, without a friend, without love…

“Chongyun, I wish I was born into your family.”

Chongyun laid back down, pulling the blanket up to his chest. “Yeah. Then we’d be together without me falling in love with you.”

Xingqiu blushed, his fingers wrapping around his ankles nervously. “No,” he bit, a little aggravated. “Because your family loves you for who you are. Not what you can do for them…” Chongyun peeked at the boy at the end of his bed from over the covers. “They…encourage you to be yourself. Even if they don’t understand. But my dad…he’d disown me for loving another man…but I— I’ve missed you so much.” Xingqiu wiped at his eyes, the tears proving difficult to hold back. “I laid in bed every night thinking about you. Thinking about what we’d be doing at that moment if I hadn’t been an ass.” The boy sniffed. “Maybe we’d be at our usual hangout spot, looking at the stars. Maybe we’d be at the pond fishing. Maybe we’d be exploring somewhere outside of the harbor. Maybe you’d have been there laying with me, holding me and kissing me and loving me.”

Chongyun sat up once more and listened as Xingqiu spoke. “Maybe,” Xingqiu continued. “I wouldn’t wander the harbor alone and sad because you’d be with me. You make me happy, you make me feel pretty, you give my boring, redundant life meaning.”

“Xingqiu,” Chongyun reached forward to cup the boy’s cheek.

“No!” Xingqiu swatted his hand away. “I don’t care what my dad says! It’s my life, not his!” Xingqiu grabbed Chongyun’s hand and cradled it between both of his. He looked Chongyun in the eyes, tears streaming down his reddened face. “Be my boyfriend!!”

It was more of a demand than a question. There was hardly a demand of his that Chongyun denied, but he still feared that he was going to say no. “Okay,” he said plainly with a wide, goofy grin.

Xingqiu wailed, jumping into Chongyun’s arms. He sobbed into the shirt, wiping his snot into the boy’s chest. “Don’t leave me again! I’ll kill you!”

Chongyun snuggled up to his boyfriend and giggled. “You’re the boss,” he smiled.

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Chapter 1- I saw Emma Kissing Santa Claus!

Hi all! If anybody is still there/ I’m caught up in this song. It’s given me the idea for like seven chapter- here is the first. MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄🎁! The rest will be late, like those gifts that trickle in when the glow of the holidays is getting hazy. We need Christmas cheer to linger after this year, so I’m gonna publish as I write! Enjoy! And share!

They talked about it later, years after their lives had taken off into space in opposite directions, the moment they knew.

Well, the moment he knew.

"Wait, what?" Emma asked, looking up from the hollow she'd found between his arm and chest when the December air found the crevices in the windows and chilled their skin. She'd get goose flesh and he'd run his hands up and down her limbs to warm her, then pull the flannel up and over them, no matter how warm he was from doing all the work near their end. "We kissed? When we were TEENAGERS?"

"Well, I was technically a teenager the first time we slept together too."

"We didn't sleep."

Harry wiggled his eyebrows at her and smirked, "Oh, I know."

"Oh my god, I really don't remember this!" She turned all the Christmas parties she'd attended at his mum's house over in her head. Emma figured she'd been at the annual event every year since she was 15 or 16, the age he says he was when they kissed. She has almost three years on him. Maybe she was 14 at the first one. That one she recalls well, She's pretty she still had braces. Nobody kissed her. If her math is good, it's her last Christmas before moving. "No wonder you were so ballsy last year!" She slapped at his chest and he grabbed her hand and kissed her fingertips.

"Nah, that was more to do with last year. I was just flush and nobody had turned me down in so long I didn't think anybody ever would again."

"I did!" She at least pretended she wasn't captivated.

"You did. At first!" He reminded her and bit her fingertips before sucking them into his mouth. "Made myself irresistible evidently." He wiggled his eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes thinking back at his dogged flirting. He'd found multiple reasons to be near her and had found her close enough to the mistletoe and was charming enough that she accepted the kiss he negotiated out of her as inevitable. Negotiated, that was laughable, he laid one on her and it overwhelmed her reason. Emma thought she played it cool enough, though she remembers they held hands for the the 10 minutes after, at least.

She accepted the other things he was offering on the strength of that kiss, and the fact that since he'd slipped his tongue into her mouth so seamlessly, convincingly, all she could think about for the hours intervening was what else his mouth could do.

While she replayed the memory of that first kiss, the one that counted for her, another blurry memory flashed in her mind.

"Oh! Was it underneath the mistletoe, too?"

Harry rolled his eyes, and her beneath him in the same breath. "You were under the mistletoe the second time!"

"I was mistletoe adjacent, at best." She sighed, she meant to jest, but his long lean body pressed along the length of her clouded her mind and convinced her she wasn't tired anymore or too tipsy off champagne.

"The first time, was me under the mistletoe."

"I kissed you?"

"You did." He confirmed with another kiss.

"How'd I kiss you? Like full on?" She was a little mortified she'd kissed little Harry.

Gemma would have killed her. Would still! That was why she and Harry always just flirted at the party and met up at the inn when the wine had everybody off their head. Nobody knew, it was their Christmas surprise. The secret she looked forward to all year.

"Well, you weren't brave enough to slip me the tongue." He stuck his tongue into the corner of his mouth; that was too attractive by half.

"Hmph." Was all Emma could come up to answer with. "Did I say anything?" She smoothed her hands up his back.

His face got dreamy, and he seemed to be reliving something. "Yeah, you told me 'you're getting cute little Styles.' I always hated that nickname, but I felt a little taller that night."

Harry was descriptive, which was funny considering he could be so quiet at times, but he was quick and he knew a lot of words, more than her. He was working on his third language. He would basically narrate while they fucked and it drove her crazy when he'd describe how she looked and felt and what it was doing to him.

"What do you want to ask?" He pressed his nose to the place her collarbones met and she could fill him growing between her legs.

"How'd you know I want to ask something?" He was too observant.

He reached up and pulled the lip she didn't realize was between her teeth free. Ahh.

"Ask." He kissed the lip still imprinted with her teeth marks.

"Tell me about it. Describe it, like you do for me when you're inside me."

He blew out a breath, "Should be easy, I obsessed over it for ages after, before even."

"Before?"

"Yeah, I have had a crush on you since you were 12 and started coming round with Gem." He revealed.

"No, I don't believe it!"

"I loved that you already had your whole life planned out and you were sooo smart and then the next year you had boobs."

"That started out so well." She almost protested, she had boobs at 12!

"I was very impressed by the boobs, you wore this sweater—" she clapped a hand over his mouth.

"No more talking unless it's about that party."

He smiled at her and his eyes went soft at their corners, his dimples were suggestions of a deep feeling. "I think you had this idea, like this was your last Christmas here, in Holmes Chapel—"

She had had that idea. She'd intended to leave for a summer term in Sweden that spring and wasn't sure she'd be coming back. And she'd always loved that party, and Gemma's family. Even Gemma's goofy weird brother who was getting cuter and more confident. "Why do you say that?"

"Dunno," he tilted his head and his mouth flattened out and his eyes went somewhere else, he was looking at her but not the version in front of him. "I think you reminded me of my cousins' when they could first drink. Seemed like you were just throwing caution to the wind, letting it fly. Like you had nothing to lose, cuz this place was about to be a memory."

Emma could only find the energy to stare, she thought she nodded. He was spot on, but she wasn't even sure she could have articulated those feelings then. And she hadn't been that reckless ever before or after that day.

"I'd been watching you, and like I said, had a crush for years, um, and like, you were wearing that shiny top, like liquid silver and your long brown hair was all curled up and your cheeks were red with your merry making and I'd always loved your laugh. You're usually so calculated—"

"That's not a nice word."

"I don't mean it like a bad thing, like maybe a better word would be careful. Like all your moves were preparation for the grand future you were working towards. But when you laugh, it all falls away. Tears leak from the corners of your eyes and you bend at the waist and just lose it. That night you did it a lot." He kissed her knuckles. "Did you notice I was kind of shadowing you that night?"

"Honestly, not really, I was kinda out of it, or maybe really in it instead of 5 years ahead." She always was at least a week ahead in her mind. In the actual moment, she was usually just ticking that day's checklist off to get to the next thing.

"Yeah. I could see it, you were really in your body, and it made me want you more." He laughed. "The only other time I ever see you like that is...ah..."

"Go on!" She jostled his shoulder.

He bit his lip like the imp he was and said, "When we fuck, it's like when you laugh, there's no tomorrow, or next semester, or internship you have lined up, just the next orgasm on the horizon."

She knew she was blushing but she ducked her chin and shrugged. She couldn't deny it. She could feel that when he moved inside her, when they moved together, it was like when she really lost her head and laughed at something. Better, more. Emma definitely did not tell him it was never like that with anybody else.

Not her college boyfriend, or the Danish guys she'd enjoyed over their version of freshers, and certainly not the completely nice guy she'd been dating for two months back in Amsterdam. Not one of them made her get out of her head the way Harry could. They'd be following every direction she gave them from tongue placement to tempo and she'd be observing the feelings as opposed to experiencing them. But even remembering her first kiss with Harry was a sensory experience. She gave him direction because that's who she is, but she's fairly certain even if she didn't, he'd be able to get her off just by watching her.

She wondered if it was the same as her. He was more cerebral than anybody gave him credit for. Maybe if he talked more about the kiss she'd find out.

He caught her chin, "Where'd you go?" He asked with dopey green eyes.

"I'm just trying to remember." Emma lied. "Tell me more, maybe it will come back to me."

"Oh, from my memory of the proof of your breath you may never remember." Emma could feel her cheeks heat. She had really tied one on, she was absolutely rough the next day. Utterly useless.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure I'd ever be here again."

"In Holmes Chapel? Really? You thought you'd never come back?"

"I always wanted to leave so bad, I genuinely thought I wouldn't miss it."

"But you did? You do?"

She nodded. She didn't want to explain that the first time she was way more homesick than she expected and this year, well, this year she wanted him for Christmas again.

He gave her this face then and a kiss that made her think he really was a mind reader, his crystal ball in the shape of her body.

"Not everyday." Take that Mr. Intuitive.

He gave her a smile that looked like a wink and started talking, "Like I said, I'd always just found you so impressive and you were always so pretty. But you came back from Amsterdam different."

"It was all the bike riding," she deflected and ran her hands down his arms to his lower back.

"Nah, it wasn't your body. That's always been nice. You just seemed like you were so happy and it was coming out of your pores."

"With the mulled wine?"

"Yeah! Definitely the mulled wine." He kissed her one then pressed his mouth to hers," Might have been your legs."

She snorted, "See it was the biking."

"You also had them out!" He defended. She had worn a daring skirt. "And maybe the biking." He laughed with her. "You also did that snort laugh I'd only heard through the walls during sleep overs and I was kinda tracking you."

"Stalker." He made a face. "Sorry probably not a joke to you." They didn't really talk about the peculiarities of his job. He was just Hometown Harry to her. Gemma's little brother. Her Christmas gift wrapped in deliciousness the last two years.

"I didn't really mean to, honestly. Was just like water to it's path."

"That's poetic." She teased.

"Hey, I'm a songwriter."

"I'd like to see evidence of that." Emma raised an eyebrow.

"You will." She wanted to ask but he just kept going. "Wanna know the funny thing? I never really had to look hard to find you." He went on. "You always seemed to be in the corners of my eye, like a dream I was trying to remember.

"I kind of remember that." She rolled her eyes and summoned some courage, "You looked different, and I tried to ignore it, but the more wine I had, the more I found myself comparing you to the boy I remembered from two years before."

"Hadn't been that long. I was with Gem when she told you goodbye."

She cringed. "I don't think I really looked at you that day."

"Oof, good thing I have crowds of people to stroke the old ego." At least the laugh seemed genuine though his eyes were a little dull.

"I was really remembering you in your red jumper from two parties before."

"Tell me about that party- we got off track talking about the last one." Last year she remembered In technicolor.

"Where were you the year after?"

"Studying, of course."

"Yeah makes sense." He pinched his lip, then bit hers.

"I remember thinking your jumper suited you so well and—"

"Matched your eyes."

"Yeah." She could feel the wonder of his eyes.

"But by midnight I saw that guy Spencer with his arm around your waist. Went to get a drink and was sulking with my own wine when you passed me. You had this look."

"Drunk?"

"Mischievous." He raised his eyebrows and bit his lip, "And then you pointed to the mistletoe."

"And said, 'caught you.'"

"You do remember!" He accused with a still annoyingly attractive chicken neck.

"I didn't, but I'm having a sense memory now." She widened her hips so he fit in like a piece of ikea hardware.

"Care to relive it?" He was trying to sound nonchalant, but she could see the hopeful blush.

She answered him by fitting her lips between his perfect ones and giving a lighter pressure than she had for two Christmases, waiting for his direction of how her bold move had turned out. He moaned and she sucked just a bit like she suddenly recalled. She really thought that was a wine fueled daydream, she swears. And then her mouth opened on a gasp and she slid her tongue against his and licked into his mouth before sliding her nose to the other side of his. The kiss depended until it was all over them and they would have wound up naked if they hadn't been already.

"This is different."

"We can re-enact it a little bit more faithfully later. It can be your Christmas present." Emma whispered between kisses.

"Nah." He was actually blushing, all the way down. "You're my gift."

[bitchapalooza]

Sail to sea

Lukas sees the Sea Spirit.

Tw death mention, past death, child death, drowning mention

Lucas scanned the horizon. The sun was setting, ending his third day on the job. Orange reflected off the waters of the quiet Norwegian town. The clouds were a beautiful cotton candy pink, soft enough to touch, good enough to eat. As the night closed in, the atmosphere changed. Everything calmed to a relaxing still. The wind blew gently. Jostling his hair. Messing it up.

The boat swayed as the crew readied themselves to port. Lucas drew in the last of the nets. Nothing in them. Same as the previous evening. A low frustrated growl rumbled from Lukas' throat. He tossed the net aside, it hitting the deck with a thud.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Thomassen." William, his cousin and crewmate, frowned. His larger, rougher hand clasped Lucas' shoulder firmly. Grounding the younger worker from his rising emotion.

Lucas jerked away. "How are you so calm? The haul is lighter than yesterday. And the day before." William shook his head as he gathered the empty nets.

"S'way it always is, kid." He tossed the nets back to Lucas, the young man falling back a step but otherwise catching it without further struggle.

"Wasn't this way when I was a kid." Lucas muttered. "There were netfulls everyday. More than my father could handle sometimes."

Erick pushed past his fiance's cousin, bumping shoulders with the shorter man. "Things change. Get used to it."

Lucas wouldn't accept it. His father had run this small fishing business for years. Spent his life on it to provide for his family. Then he passes it down to his brother and it goes to shit. The amount of fish fluctuates daily, he's been told. He was instructed to deal with the dead ones they haul in. Do not question the half eaten fish. To throw back the younger ones to avoid killing off the supply. Most shops relied on them for stock. Restaurants relied on those shops. Families relied on both. The whole town will collapse if nothing could be done to fix this.

But Lucas let it go for now. He stored the nets away in the proper place. And then he caught something unusual in the corner of his eye.

Glistening violet in the setting sun. He scanned the landscape but saw nothing more. He was about to turn away, thinking it was a trick of the light, when he saw it again. In as much detail as he could capture.

Out in the distance, a glimmer of purple soared through the air. Lucas swore it was a body. Small and slim. Jumping from the water like a dolphin. "What," Lucas began, not looking away from the ocean. "What was that?"

"What was what?" William asked from the other side of the boat.

"The— whatever jumped into the air just now!"

"Oooooh," Finnigan, the old self appointed crew captain, came up from below the deck stroking his salt and pepper beard. "Sounds like little Lucas has seen it." He trotted over, ruffling the younger one's head of hair. Lucas swatted him away.

"It? Hell is 'it'?" He demanded.

"It," Erick sat down on the gunwale of the boat. "Is the Sea Spirit. Kids these days say it's a mermaid."

"Others say it's a lost spirit. And that's where my money lands honestly." Finnigan finished.

Lucas turned back to the open sea. "So," He looked over the edge, brows furrowed. "It's definitely paranormal?"

The crew nodded.

"Interesting.."

Later that night, Lucas helped his uncle and aunt clean up the dinner table then snuck off, telling them he was going out for some air. He took down a path where he knew the tide would be low, leaving the rocks dry and exposed. He climbed down the now rusty latter. Maneuvered over the rocks. And sat huddled on the flat bare stone that acted as land. The water was calm and the wind chilly.

Lucas dipped his hand into the cool salty water closing his eyes as he remembered a time long past. When the latter was brand new. Built by his neighbor and son. Kids used to come down here to play with their toy boats. It was once a tradition for the graduating seniors to let go a paper boat in preparation for their free life. Some even set the boats on fire, making a bigger deal out of it than needed. Lucas came out here to play too, once upon a time. When things were simpler. Happier.

But it looks like things have changed. The rope blocking kids off from the deeper parts is gone. The dock where, on occasion, a lifeguard sat, was in shambles. Barnacles hug every nook and cranny possible of every rock in sight thanks to the change in sea level.

And to think it's only been eight years.

"Hey spirit." Lucas called out. Back in the day, their town was home only to humans. No paranormal being could be found. It's a pretty foreign deal to these folk but to Lucas it's become normal. His parents moved him to the city where creatures did reside. Hostile ones. Friendly ones. He met a Fossegrimmen in the surrounding forest he observed everyday as a teen, always trying to muster the courage to ask him to teach him how to play the fiddle. He did always have the stolen meat prepared but never did approach him. He also met trolls and an usual Danish Nisse when he visited the countryside. Lucas is still convinced, after all these years, he even saw the winter spirit when he first moved. His parents continue to deny it.

Lucas was no stranger to these creatures. In fact, being told there was a spirit here, in this boring old port town, was just the pick-me-up he needed after leaving his parents' comfort and care nearly a week ago. Back in the city, he kept journals about the creatures he found. He found them intriguing. Fun to study.

Lucas swirled his hand in the liquid a few more times before retracting it, wiping it dry on his pant leg. "If you are out here, Sea Spirit, you don't have to be shy. I'd like to meet you if that's okay."

Nothing but the sounds of the sea answered.

A few more good bouts of silence and Lucas got up, ready to leave. And then something splashed his shoes as he turned away, soaking them to the bone. He faced the water again, looking down at the edge of the rock. And there it was, the top of a head and a pair of bright violet eyes reflecting the moon poked out of the water's surface. Lucas carefully sat back down a good distance away, never breaking eye contact.

"So," Lucas began. "You're what I saw this evening, huh?" The spirit popped their head further out of the water, revealing their beautiful spots of purple that glimmered in the moonlight. Lucas also noticed it's features. Very child-like, he thought.

"What is your name?" They tilted their head. "Your name. What do they call you?" He repeated.

The spirit suddenly came ashore. With the moonlight as his only source, he could just make out how sickly green and pale their skin was. Their hair covered their eyes, touching their shoulders. Gills sat on the sides of their throat while more purple scales littered their exposed skin. They wore tattered cloth, most likely a torn sail they fashioned into some clothes. Most of all, it was a child. A young boy by the looks of it. Perhaps around four. Or six in human years.

This was unlike anything Lucas has read about.

"If you don't have a name, may I call you something?" The spirit nodded slowly, hesitantly. "Okay. Hm..." Lucas thought hard on this. He's never come across a completely nonverbal creature before. Much less one he's never seen before. This felt like a huge deal to him so the pressure was on.

And then he snapped his fingers, spooking the spirit for a second. "I got it! Emil. You can be called Emil."

Emil grinned from ear to ear at that. Lucas chuckled. "I see you like that, hm?" Emil nodded, more vigorously this time.

"Well my name is—" Without any warning, Emil came over and took Lucas' hand in his. Clasping them together tightly. The two met face to face, Emil smiling with big bright eyes as he shook their hands up and down in an incorrect hand shake. Lucas laughed a little again. "It is nice to meet you too, Emil. I'm Lucas." Emil let go and plopped down on the rock in front of Lucas.

"Can you not talk, Emil?" Emil frowned. He shook his head. "Seems you can understand well enough however. That's good."

With the young spirit closer, Lucas got a better view. His hands seemed to be webbed, feet too. Good for swimming of course. His ears were not human but fin. Small but still stuck out away from the face.

"Hey Emil," The spirit's eyes swam with curiosity. "Would you like to know why I named you Emil?" The boy nodded, leaning forward in anticipation.

Lucas gave a small smile. He took a breath and began. "I had a younger brother. He was around your age even. A small, skinny kid. He was going through this difficult picky eater phase that made mom worry for his future health on a daily basis."

"His name was Emil. A shy kid that had this fixation of collecting rocks and picking up strange bugs every chance he got. He opened up around me, mom, and dad a lot more than he did strangers.. He loved to fish with dad and I. We went every weekend to the docks to catch a few and throw them back. Dad would sometimes make us kiss the fish as it would apparently give us good luck. What a fool.." Lucas chuckled from fond memory.

Emil scooted closer, listening intently as Lucas carried on. "One day, dad thought it would be a good idea to show us how he worked. He took us out on the boat. Put life jackets on the both of us as he knew us kids would want to look out over the boat's edge. But Emil's hardly fit on account of his small body. He." Lucas took a shaky breath. "He fell overboard. And he couldn't swim. Emil had already fallen under before dad jumped in to save him himself. He died. And we never did retrieve his body either."

The spirit layed a cold hand across Lucas' warm one. Emil pointed to himself, tilting his head.

"Yeah. I named you after my brother to honor him I suppose."

Emil shook his head. He quickly retracted his hand and retreated back to the water in the blink of an eye.

Lucas stood, confused.

Now what was that about?

[gloriafc]

Their daughter -Part 1

After the Volturi left and Reneesme was physically all grown up, Emmett could see the yearning to take care of another child in his wife. And honestly he missed having little feet running around, and the little hands gripping his hair as he gave countless piggy back rides.

He did some research before taking his wife on a trip to a small island not found on most maps. "Emmett where are we." "I read about this healer, she's supposed to be able to help anyone have a kid."

Rosalie can only stare at her husband in shock, he brought her all the way here so they could have a child of their own. But would that be a problem for them? If they succeed, will their child be somewhat normal? Or grow like Reneesme?

The couple is led into a small hut of a very remote village, they're met by a young woman who's eyes are completely glazed over, you could practically see the universe in her eyes.

"The spirits tell me you've been looking for me. They say you have a particular request." Emmett steps forward about to answer but she quickly stops him, "I can help you. Your request is simple. The ability to carry a child is something every woman should be able to experience no matter what their kind is. A child is something every wedded couple should be able to experience. But in return I must ask for a favor. Not for me, but for this village."

They watch as a young child leads the blind woman around the room, until she's stopped in front of them. She quickly ushers the child out of the room before looking straight ahead, "These people know of many creatures. They come and go, seeking my help. Many dont receive. But what I ask is simple. If I help you conceive your child." They watch the woman smile, "She'd be as beautiful as her mother, with her father's dark hair and soft curls. Small and spoiled, but grateful for everything in her life. But to ensure she stays healthy, the three of you would be asked to stay in the village for three months after shes born, theres a small hut that would be provided for you. All I ask in return is your protection for the time you're here. To help the people of this small village with tasks they may not be able to complete on their own."

Rosalie grips onto Emmett's arm, hope in her eyes. "You know what she'll look like?" "I know a lot of things. Despite not having my vision, I can do many great things. And that tone in your voice is telling me the two of you are agreeing to my terms." Emmett speaks up, "Your terms are very considerate, despite what we're asking of you. Our answer is yes." "Although simple, what I ask, many others wouldn't even think about doing. I believe only the greatest gifts should be given to those willing to do the simplest acts of generosity. I can sense that the two of you would give your entire fortune for what I've already given you."

They look at each other in shock as the woman turns and walks away, "You mean-" "That you're already pregnant? Yes. As soon as you walked in, I already knew the two of you would agree. This won't be a normal pregnancy. By the time the sun sets you'll be able to hear your baby's heartbeat. In four days you'll give birth. I am aware of the hybrid in your family. Your daughter will also be a hybrid. As a thank you I'm giving your child some humanity. She will have the same vampire abilities, but she'll grow at the same rate as a human, when she turns 21 she'll stop and will become a full vampire. At 21 she'll still be able to eat, and sleep. She just won't need animal blood as often as the two of you do, maybe once a month from a small rabbit at most."

Emmett quickly takes Rosalie into his arms, no price would be big enough for what they've just been told. The woman gestures for the threshold, "The hut is on the outskirts of the village, near the creek, go and enjoy your news. I'll be over tomorrow morning with a small task to get you acquainted to the town."

The two leave, easily finding their home for the next three or so months. They sit on the makeshift bench on the porch, listening to the water in the creek, the kids playing and splashing. Suddenly Emmett freezes, "Can you hear it?" Rosalie looks at him with the biggest smile and venom filled eyes that will never spill, "She's already perfect."

The two spend the whole night watching her stomach grow and listening to their child's heartbeat. By the time morning comes they've already decided on a name for her. They look up when the healer enters, "You can feel the happiness all throughout the village. Here I brought something. Your child still need nutrients, since you cant eat regular food without your venom instantly destroying it, I have this. Drink it twice a day, and your child will gain all the nutrients they need."

The next three days go by quickly. Rosalie is asked to watch the children, to help teach them while their fathers fish and their mothers farm. Emmett helps rebuild some structures around the village, his vampire speed helping him rebuild everything.

The last night of the pregnancy Emmett helps Rosalie waddle to the healers hut. A few hours later Rosalie has pushed out their beautiful baby girl. And just like the healer said, she looks exactly like her mother, but has her father's dark hair.

What surprises them is when she opens her eyes and see bright blue eyes just like Emmett's human eyes. They both melt when she smiles and laughs, showing off the dimples she inherited from her dad who is already wrapped around her finger. They watch as the child falls asleep holding onto a piece of her mother's hair.

"I sense you've adjusted quite well already. What have you named her?" "Y/N" "Beautiful name for a beautiful face. The villagers have left a gift in your hut as a thank you for all the help you've been to them. And this will act as formula for the child. There's enough for six months, after that she should be able to start on regular milk. When shes old enough to start talking and walking, that's when her vampire abilities will start, right now you can't crush her, that's the vampire in her protecting her. Even though she will physically age like a regular human, she'll considered smarter, her vampiric abilities will help her learn to do things faster. She'll sit up on her own sooner, try to crawl sooner. She'll accelerate in school."

Everyday they watch as their child grows until the day comes for them to take their child home. They watch as her personality grows, and they fall more in love with her everyday.

They say bye to everyone in the village, promising to visit someday in the future. They stop in a nearby town, grabbing stuff they'd need, like a carseat, some clothes, a diaper bag, random stuff for the flight home.

Rosalie watches as her daughter falls asleep on her dads chest during the long flight home. The only thing going through her head, she'll get to watch her child grow for twenty one years.

During the drive home Rosalie constantly looks into the backseat, where her daughter happily watches the trees pass by the window, every once in a while she'll let out a babble. "Do you think Alice can see her?" "Looks like we're going to find out."

As they stop in front of the house they can see their family standing outside, "You guys are back!" Rosalie let's Esme pull her into a hug. "What is that sound?" Rosalie pulls back with a smile, "We want you to meet someone."

They turn to Emmett who's now holding the car seat. Esme gasps before moving forward, getting a good look at the now sleeping baby. "Where'd you find her?" Emmett and Rosalie look at each other, "How about we go inside."

They explain everything about Y/N, how she was carried, how she'll grow, her appetite, her seemingly human ways, and how shes theirs.

Esme quickly congratulates the two, knowing just how much her daughter has always wanted a child of her own. Everyone stops when they start to hear movement in the carseat before a soft yawn is heard. Rosalie moves with a smile before taking her daughter into her arms. She turns so Y/N can see her new surroundings. Esme immediately gushing, "Her eyes." Emmett nods, "Same as mine before I changed."

Upon seeing the attention is on her, Y/N immediately smiles and looks up at her mom who happily smiles, "This is your family Y/N." The small child let's out a happy giggle before clapping her hands, everyone chuckling. When Y/Ns eyes land on her grandmother she immediately reaches for her with a big smile, her dimples popping. Edward laughs, "She already understands. Her mind, she cant speak but she understands that were all the same." Jasper jumps in, "Shes happy. Not overwhelmed, but curious."

Esme reaches for the babys hand, tiny fingers wrapping around one of hers, "May I?" Rosalie nods and hands over the small child, happy tears wanting to spill when she watches her daughter lay her head on Esmes chest. Edward speaking up, "She knows she's safe and welcome."

As everyone is sitting in the living room, getting to know the new addition of their family, watching her interact with her cousin. Emmett laughs looking at his brothers, "You want to see something?" Everyone looks at him confused making Rosalie chuckle knowing exactly what he wants to do. She explains, "She's already a huge daddy's girl, unfortunately. One of the kids in the village was playing with her and her toy fell. He wanted to wash it off before giving it back to her. She saw he wasn't going to give it back right away, and thought he was taking it away. She started crying and immediately reached for Emmett to go get it back."

Edward laughs and agrees to be the one to take the empty bottle that's still in his niece's hands. Everyone watches as he walks away, before Y/N immediately turns to her dad with tears in her eyes. When he doesn't move she let's her wails be heard and raises her arms. Everyone chuckles as he stands up and picks up the crying child, wiping her face, "What happened?" Unable to answer she just hits her dads chest making a chuckle leave his lips as she turns in the direction her uncle went and points. "Alright let's go get the bottle." Before they can fully leave the room Edward returns, Y/N immediately letting out another wail and pointing, stopping when she sees her uncle holding a new bottle.

When the child is finally asleep for the night, everyone watches, fascinated by the girl who already has their hearts, ready to protect her at any moment.

[livia-dovehallow]

Hi! I just saw your reblog about how you like people noticing how Christopher resembles Gabriel and wanted to ask you if you could elaborate? I actually find him very similar but people tend to say he is an outcast

Hi! Thank you for asking and I’m sure you’re about to get more than you bargained for...

Christopher reminds me a lot of Gabriel. Not only does Christopher look the most like Gabriel out of the three Lightwood-Herondale children in appearance, but I also think that in personality he is more like his father than people will give him credit for. For one, he is canonically protective of his family.

“’Be very careful what you say about Anna,’ said Christopher. Lucie thought she ought to have found it funny: Christopher, who was never angry, speaking in those icy tones to Alastair. But somehow, it was not funny at all.”

--Chain of Gold, p. 241

Now, being protective is definitely a trait developed more in nuture rather than nature, but given that Christopher is related to both the Lightwood and Herondale families, it is easy to see that he would develop a protective nature for his family as everyone in this family is protective of each other. Particularly I think his type of defensive attitude regarding his family is more like Gabriel’s than it is Cecily’s. As we glimpse from ChoG, Gabriel has greatly mellowed out in the years since TID. 

Of course he is still firecly protective of his family, but his overall attitude is much more levelheaded in everyday life than it was when he was 18. Christopher’s temper and attitude reflect this version of Gabriel very well.

Additionally, just a little fun parallel I love to discuss, is the Lightwood-pairs that happen in every set of books. In TID it was Gabriel and Gideon. In TLH, it’s Thomas and Christopher. Thomas is very much like his father--the older brother, cautious, looking out for the other--While Christopher is very much like his father--scattered, unsure, a bit reckless. 

“’I say,’ said Christopher, mopping wet hair out of his eyes. ‘I do think that worked, Tom. The acid has been neutralized.’

Thomas was shaking his head. ‘Someone you neutralize you, you mopstick-’”

--Chain of Gold, p. 23

They’re cousins, but even Thomas says Christopher is the “brother of his heart.” I think the parallel was put there to emphasize that Christopher is more like Gabriel than meets the eye.

Also, as the OP from the reblog you mentioned said, Gabriel is a situational-awareness type of character. He is big on knowing what is happening, how it is happening, and where it is proceeding in order to make a decision. Christopher is also very much a situational-awareness character, needing context and information to make decisions and solve problems. While his mother, the queen herself Cecily Lightwood, is more of an act first-think later type of person, Gabriel (and therefore Kit) are more of the opposite in TLH era. Anna, in turn, developed more of Cecily’s approach. Time will tell who Alex takes after.

Now, granted, we also haven’t truly seen a lot of Christopher or his inner workings yet. We only have that one extra bonus scene from his POV and other character’s perceptions of him from Chain of Gold, so it’s hard to tell what his true personality is, though he does seem like a genuine person who is kind and wants to help. 

"Christopher was shocked, less by his father’s tears than by the fact that they’d had a cousin who they’d never been allowed to meet, and now could never meet. Thoughts kept running around in Christopher’s mind. This is all wrong. If we had met him, we might have been able to help him. To save him.”

“’There is so much wrong with the world,’ said Christopher. ‘I want it to make sense. I want to put it right. I want to find the solutions that are overlooked by others.’”

--Days Past: Christopher (ChOG Extra)

And as Cassie mentioned, he is the only character not harboring a secret. I think that will be more important as TLH moves on than we think it will.

As Chain of Iron approaches, I hope for more Christopher content and insight into who he is and what life was like for him, specifically, growing up in his family and having Gabriel and Cecily as parents. We see that they are fantastic parents through Anna’s story and POV, but I’d love to see more of Christopher’s relationship with his parents. We know he loves them and they love him, but give us more!

Lastly, we know that Christopher will have some unexpected behavior in Chain of Iron (re: Cassie). My prediction, which is shared with a lot of people in the fandom, is that he will have some kind of outburst or manipulative moment in the Shadow Market that will mirror Gabriel’s behavior at the market in Clockwork Princess, when he threw a satyr out of the window and chased him down and into the Thames when he showed Cecily a pornographic catalog his father had ordered. 

“’You know,’ Cecily said, ‘you really didn’t have to throw that man through the window.’

‘He wasn’t a man,’ Gabriel said, scowling down at the heap of objects in his arms.

[...]

‘Is that why you chased him down the street?’

‘He had no business showing images like that to a lady,’ Gabriel muttered...” ---Clockwork Princess, p. 279

I really hope this is the case because I want there to be some kind of Like Father Like Son moment when his parents find out and Gabriel can’t even be mad about it because he did the same thing while Cecily is greatly amused by it all. 

TL;DR: Despite not having a whole lof of Christopher Lightwood content or POV so far in TLH, there are pieces and hints that Christopher is more like his father than is given credit for and that he is more aware than he is given credit for--that he simply chooses to stay out of complicated situations unless needs absolutely must. Signs point to getting more clues toward Christopher’s similarities with his father as TLH moves forward and particularly in anticipation of Chain of Iron in a couple of weeks.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is part two of our mpreg Louis fic rec list. The first part of this rec list was done a while ago and can be found here. Happy reading!

1) Always Coming Back To You | Explicit | 4749 words

Harry's been missing Louis for eight days, and eight days without his Omega feels like decades in his pre-rut state.

Louis happens to come back to him earlier than planned.

2) Through The Storm | Mature | 6497 words

Note: This fic has no smut, but it is MPreg Louis so we included it.

Harry and Louis' marriage has hit a rough patch. A much needed week vacation in Jamaica just may be the second chance their relationship needs. What could possibly go wrong?

The answer?

Everything.

3) You Can Show Me Your Heart | Explicit | 6935 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Everyone knows about the unsinkable Titanic, which tragically did just that in April of 1912. However, not many people know the story of the Carpathia - the ship that raced to rescue and aid the survivors of the Titanic when the distress call came through. This is the story of the events leading up to the luxury liner crashing into an iceberg on that fateful spring night. More than that, this is the story of how two of Carpathia’s passengers - Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson - met, fell in love and helped over 700 people in the cold Atlantic water.

4) Cooking with Styles | Explicit | 9119 words

Anyone can cook— or so they say.

5) Something To Prove | Explicit | 9425 words

Louis is the first and only omega to work at Red Valley Medical Center. Despite being more than qualified, he still faces prejudice for his career choice everyday. From patients refusing his treatment to condescending alpha doctors intervening with his work, practicing medicine in Boston is more challenging than Louis had ever thought it would be.

6) We Will Get Through This | Explicit | 11219 words

Because of quarantine, Louis has to stay home with his roommate, Harry, who he's never really hung out with before. He's a sweet alpha who seems to really care and that annoys the hell out of Louis. But as he gets to know the alpha, he realizes it might not be dislike that he's feeling.

7) Easily | Explicit | 13588 words

Note: This fic is a sequel to this fic.

Years later, Harry and Louis are as strong as ever and more than ready to take the next step in the story of their lives. It gets a little weird, a little confusing, but at the end of the day, it is as easy as can be.

8) Baby Honey | Explicit | 14744 words

Note: The pairing in this fic is Alex/Louis.

When the next great war strikes, all alphas have to ship out. Alex leaves a little more behind than some of the others.

9) The Post-War BP | Explicit | 17732 words

The eight year war has left the country's birthrate severely stunted with a lack of virile alphas left to bring it back up. To ensure the survival of the country, the government opens The Breeding Program where young omegas can apply to carry an alpha's child in exchange for benefits.  Louis' family is struggling and the BP is one of the only ways to secure a roof over their heads.  Harry was drafted at the age of eighteen and spent six years of his life defending a country he doesn't recognize when he returns home.  The government made the bed but it's Harry that has to lie in it.

10) Souls; Plural, Parallel | Teen & Up | 19679 words

Note: This fic has no smut, but it is MPreg Louis so we included it.

Soulmates are rare, the sort of rare that means everyone has a story about a friend's sister's coworker or a brother's roommate's cousin. But the fact of the matter is that most people never meet theirs. It's unfortunate then, that Louis finds out the hard way that he met his soulmate in a club, and the guy never texted him back.

11) Be Mine, Dear | Not Rated | 20104 words

It really wasn’t fair. He was the oldest of all of them. He’s the one who dreamed about being bonded his whole life, while Liam laughed at the idea, until he met Sophia. Niall had always been indifferent, but when he met Heather six months ago, everything changed for him. He quickly went from being the only omega around two alpha’s, to the odd omega out. And it really wasn’t fair, because Liam and Niall both still protected him just as much as the did before, just as much they do their new mates now, but he was still bitter about it, so he’d pity himself as much as he wanted.

12) Oops, Baby, I Love You (In That Order) | Explicit | 25344 words

The minute Louis Tomlinson decides he don’t need no man to start a family, Harry Styles literally falls into his arms.

13) I’m Having Your Baby (It's None of Your Business) | Mature | 26383 words

A bet can cost you a lot. Harry learns this in the weirdest of ways.

Louis just wanted a baby, and he got so much more.

14) The Things I'd Do To Wake Up Next To You | Mature | 36109 words

AU. Harry wakes up to a pregnant Louis Tomlinson and a wedding band on his finger.

15) If I Stay | Mature | 37226 words

Harry and Louis agree to a temporary arrangement that Harry can't seem to walk away from no matter how many times he tries.

16) You Put the Sun in Sunday | Mature | 42319 words

Louis is a love-brainwashed-teenager of hope drenched in dreams, clad in oversized clothes damaged with holes, and standing waist-high in novels. Harry is a selfish closeted football captain with a head too big for his heart, and a bad habit of not thinking before he opens his mouth. No one ever said love was easy, Louis learned the hard way.

17) Flash Forward (We’re Taking On The World Together) | Explicit | 44273 words

In which Omega Louis and Alpha Harry are absolutely perfect for each other and say I love you too much.

18) Every Story Has Its Scars, Ours Is A Brand New Start | Mature |  62859 words

Life as a devoted husband and an amazing father turned out to be a little different than Louis had expected. Everyone tells him it doesn't have to be that way; that he's worth more and that he's so much stronger than any one person trying to keep him down. It's all just words though until he meets the one person who makes him truly believe it.

19) Such Good Luck | Explicit | 66205 words

An Edwardian AU where Harry is a young aristocratic lord and Louis is a working class dairy farmer. Secrets are a necessary part of their relationship, but Louis has one that could topple their whole world.

20) Things I Can't | Not Rated | 67495 words

Louis has a plan for his life. He’s going to be the first in his family to finish college. He’s going to be a doctor - the best damn doctor in the country. And he’s going to work his ass off to make sure his younger siblings never have to wonder whether they have the means to pursue their dreams.

He doesn’t have space in his plan for a relationship with an effortlessly alluring musician, and certainly not for the child that unexpectedly results from that union. Louis is at a crossroads he never thought to plan for, and now he must make a decision: between what he wants now, and what he wants most.

21) I’m Still Learning To Love | General Audiences | 74695 words

Note: This fic has no smut, but it is MPreg Louis so we included it.

An AU where Harry has almost everything in the world except for the will to move on.

22) I Want You So Much (But I Hate Your Guts) | Mature | 83648 words

AU in which Louis gets accepted to play for the Manchester University Alpha-Beta Football Team. The only problem: Louis is actually an Omega. He is determined to make it big in the football world, though, and he can't do that bound to an Omega team. With the help of a faked doctor's certificate and some pretty strong suppressants he is ready to fight for his dream.

That Harry Styles (Alpha, second year and youngest football captain of the A-B team in ages) doesn't seem to like him complicates matters, though.

23) Fucking Animals | Explicit | 116688 words

Louis is the frontman of an equal rights-movement, author of a book about beta-omega marriage and the struggles of being born and boxed into a personality you don’t necessarily feel you fit. The notion that an omega must want to be with an alpha or else he or she’s just settling for less, is bullshit.

But, fucking hell.

24) Be My Omega | Mature | 138372 words

It all started when the alpha laid eyes on the short curvy omega and he knew at that moment that his life would never be the same, in a good way of course.

25) Cold Little Heart | Teen & Up | 194600 words

Louis is a soft omega with an abusive past and an alpha child. A few months after getting a divorce, Louis meets Harry, an ex-military alpha wolf that offers him something -odd.

In exchange for teaching him how to cook, Harry will babysit his son, Abraham. Louis really could use the help.

26) Love Me Until The End | Mature | 207130 words

AU where Louis, an Omega, is the head nurse of the hospital in charge of running the nursing staff. Harry, an Alpha, is a highly respected surgeon working at the same hospital. They also happen to fall in love.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[xlady-saya]

Hello! I don’t really use this account a whole lot but I wanted to go ahead and make a pinned post, which I’ll hopefully remember to update frequently lol. Anyways, here’s a collection of the fics I’ve written for aftg, andreil, and others so far ^^

progress comes in small steps series [complete]

and we’re just starting to get it [Rated T, 11.1k]

Neil is nothing and everything all at once, the entire universe for Andrew, however small of a universe that is. Even Aaron is starting to see it, though the pieces still don't line up.

And Andrew is trying to convince Aaron that he's never jealous? Yeah right. You don't spend your entire life being denied, being hurt, going through foster care with nothing to call your own only to be okay with someone else trying to take the one bright piece of life you call yours.

Or, Aaron is done with Andrew's shit and makes it his job to prove his brother wrong.

there’s always more to learn [Rated T, 12.3k]

The subject of Katelyn and Neil hasn't felt like dangerous territory in a long time, but Aaron feels the bomb countdown already coming to an end before Bee even opens her mouth.

"Well, the two of them are so alike," Bee goes on, oblivious to the tension leaking into the space. Her smile is pleasant, teasing. "It just goes to show how you and Andrew have similar tastes despite being so different."

The world freezes on its axis.

Andrew inhales a little too loudly the same time Aaron chokes on his spit. "W-What?"

trust is a slow process [Rated T, 7.3k]

If Katelyn had been stealthier, she could've escaped the crowded dance floor without Andrew seeing her.

But of course, she's no Neil.

Or: Katelyn and Andrew spend some unwanted quality time together, and Katelyn sees things for what they are.

someday there won’t be scowls [Rated T, 8.1k]

Neil finds that even with his mind's best efforts to hang onto the wounds of the past, his opinion of Aaron just isn't what it used to be. He can thank Andrew and Katelyn for a lot of it, but his own observations certainly help.

When he sees Aaron like this, the mix of worry and adoration on his face as he thinks of Katelyn, Neil can't help but feel too exposed himself.

It's a start.

I want this touch to be familiar [Rated E, 38.1k]

Deep down, Andrew knew he would always reach this crossroads, a time where the thought became too strong to ignore.

Going all the way with Neil. It's not something he can continue to avoid thinking about. When Andrew looks back to the days where he held Neil's hands down, when he never got off with him in the same room, he's forced to acknowledge how much he's allowed.

Not allowed. Welcomed. Wanted.

But that’s not all there is to it, and the desire to make a decision finally makes itself known.

if magic exists, you’re the closest thing [Rated T, 16.2k]

The concept of love is not one Andrew understands.

For a long time, it escaped him. It's always fuzzy, always distorted. He'd given up on it long ago, so why is he still chasing answers?

Whatever the reason, he's content to blame Jean Moreau for a lot of things, Katelyn too.

It's their fault he's here, at the happiest place on earth.

this red is for you [Rated T, 10.8k]

Katelyn never considered herself capable of doling out violence.

It has always been a far away thought, dampened by college courses and late night dates with her boyfriend. She lives a stereotypical life, despite everything she's been through with Aaron. Aside from her growing connection with the notoriously troublesome Foxes, nothing much about her life has changed.

Even then, she's learning she's still able to surprise herself. When Katelyn witnesses Neil defending Andrew, her own protective rage rears its head, ready to be explored.

And maybe that's a good thing.

an unconventional crossing [Rated T, 8.1k]

Aaron likes to believe he and Andrew have a lot more practice navigating their conversations now. And he’s right, mostly. But sometimes, challenges arise at the strangest times, and especially when their significant others are concerned.

In which Andrew and Aaron run into each other at the grocery store, and choose not to part ways.

the roads I traveled with you [Rated T, 35.5k]

When his brother gets engaged, Aaron doesn't expect it to send his head spinning as much as it does. Marriage has always felt like a dream, or a nightmare, one he never thought either of them would be able to achieve.

In that moment, Aaron remembers what he's always known, what keeps his head above water. He wants to be with Katelyn forever. That's never been a question. But marriage hadn't been brought up. For so long it was this abstract concept, a fantasy. He'd always reasoned with himself that it would happen, rationally of course it would, but now...

Now Andrew has made the idea a reality, and Aaron has to confront his own wants for his future.

one shots/multichapters

I’ve had a love of my own [Rated T, ongoing]

Despite everything Neil could’ve imagined for his life, he never thought he’d be here, finally giving the world the interview they’ve always wanted.

It’s been decades, but even with his numerous accolades and sports wins, he finds that they’re the least important thing about his life.

Neil can’t help but laugh. Andrew would be so annoyed if he were here.

Of course, Neil only wants to talk about him, and the life they spent together.

slurred [Rated M, 1.6k]

They're not the type of people to give up control, but with each other they're willing to bend the rules.

growing pains [Rated T, 10.6k]

Stuart knows it’s perfectly normal for teenagers to have crushes. That’s why he’s not surprised in the slightest when Neil starts acting strange; lighter, happier. However, what he doesn’t expect is for the crush to leak into his everyday life—or literally take up residence in his house. Or: five times Stuart knew Neil was hiding a nighttime guest, and one time he actually met him.

your hands are mine to hold [Rated E, 6.7k]

It has taken a long time for Thea to accept a lot of aspects of their past. Her eyes track the fear in Kevin's eyes, emboldened by how his own resolve wears it away year by year. She'll never take that sight for granted.

It's hard to ignore the weights on both of them, with their lives so eaten up by the Exy world and memories of the Nest, but one thing has always remained consistent.

Thea trusts Kevin Day with her everything, and she'll never hesitate to follow him into battle.

better than a night light [Rated T, 7.3k]

Neil hasn’t had the chance to examine the feeling of fear in a long time. He’s all too familiar with it though; from the nightmares, to the memories of a cold basement floor, he knows the feeling like the back of his hand.

But this fear is new, loaded with ridiculousness and a complete lack of reason. It’s nothing more than pixels on a screen, far away theories that can’t hurt him like his past can.

Maybe that’s why he’s beginning to not mind it as much. It doesn’t hurt that Andrew is also there to hold him through it.

Playtime [Rated E, 6.7k]

There was a time when Andrew might've questioned being so into this.

Not anymore.

take what you want [Rated E, 5.4k]

Laila has come a long way from her freshman year, past all the worries and pressure to behave a certain way. She never thought she’d realize it here, lounging poolside with her girlfriend.

The urge to seduce Alvarez is just too good to let go.

a product of absence [Rated T, 7.8k]

It’s funny, Andrew thinks, that this would be seen as a curse in any other situation. Two people, thrown apart by time and circumstances, desperately searching for one another.

But Andrew has never doubted Neil’s return. He’s not running, he’s not worried. It’s perhaps the only waiting game that’s been worth it, that he understands, because this bond with Neil has only ever made sense to him.

In another life, Neil made this much clear: they would always find each other in the end.

here I am, there you go again [Rated T, 17.5k]

There's many things about the past Neil chooses to leave behind, and most of the time it's for the best. For some reason though, his brain can't help but cling to the last memories of him.

"My Ex." Neil bites his tongue at the word, because it never feels right. At this point, so many years later, that man is no one. A stranger. He shouldn't presume to know him anymore than his ex should presume to know Neil.

If he remembers Neil at all.

But Neil should know better than anyone that the past always has a way of catching up to him, and this time, he's not as willing to run as he might've initially thought.

losing battle [Rated M, 3.4k]

It's always been Nicky's dream to be closer with his cousins. However, when he opens Andrew's mail to find more than he bargained for, he finds himself regretting the wish. Unfortunately, no matter how much Andrew's warmed up to him in the last few years, Nicky's pretty sure he'll die (literally) if Andrew finds out.

Nicky's mission begins.

temper, temper [Rated T, 3.7k]

"You paid for the deluxe package," Neil says as he scrolls through his payment history to find his client's invoice. His system is simple:

Basic Package: Fuck you. A general statement of displeasure and a brief description of the wrongdoing.

Intermediate Package: Fuck you, with passion. Everything in the basic package, but with additional insults. Customizable for an extra fee.

Deluxe Package: Fuck you to hell. Everything from the first two packages, for an extended period of time, and with extra viciousness.

And it looks like Andrew Minyard is the unlucky soul today.

a new contract [Rated T, 7.2k]

Neil’s request is simple on its face, but infinitely complicated given his history.

“Convince your team to sign me.”

And this was Andrew’s deal: If Neil can prove that he’s serious, that he can build a new life for himself so that he doesn’t end up crawling back to Riko, Andrew will convince his coach to recommend him for recruitment in the fall.

Yes, it was meant to be black and white…

But Andrew should’ve known better. Nothing ever is.

What a Rush [Rated E, 1.6k]

It's always Andrew's goal to stretch Neil's pleasure to its limits, and he's barely begun to scratch the surface.

locked together [Rated E, 8.3k]

Andrew licks his lips and tugs on the tail of the beast inside him, righting it so it can point him in the direction of what he's searching for. Neil looks good on top of him, panting and giddy, and it's rare that Andrew doesn't want to flip them over and make Neil fall apart.

But...every once in a while...

Well, he's relaxed today. He wants to listen, he wants orders, he wants to be controlled so long as the control comes from Neil.

do you like scary movies? [Rated T, 22.5k]

To say Andrew has never seen the benefit in the make-believe would be a lie. However, he finds less and less use for it as he grows older. He especially fails to see the benefits of anything from the horror genre; he’s made plenty of his own mistakes, has seen more than enough to terrify him in his life. He doesn’t need to rely on jump scares and idiotic protagonists.

But when he meets Neil, self-proclaimed horror archivist, he finds that maybe he never gave the genre the credit it was due, and he ends up thanking the dull movies eventually…

They lead him to Neil, the realest thing he’s ever known.

[thesquidkid]

To protect

Read on AO3

(Tw: mentions of police brutality and racism)

It was on a late Tuesday evening, after spending most of the afternoon sitting at a table at the back of the Wild Pony, away from all conversations, that Max Evans found himself at a crossroad, not knowing which road to choose.

He had been at that crossroad for a while now, longer than he would like to admit it, but had only recently started to consider the other path, the one that diverged from the one he was currently on.

He played with his untouched glass of whiskey, replaying the events of the day, the events that lead him to this precise moment, considering his life choices. He thought about his conversation with Deputy Pete, about the duty of the police force, about how they were to enforce law and order. He thought about the reason he enlisted in the first place. To protect. To protect Michael and Isobel. To protect the people of Roswell. The people who didn’t trust him anymore, the people who felt like Max Evans had turned his back on them.

He sighed loudly and dropped his head on the table. He had come in the bar to get a drink of two then head home without any trouble, but instead was met with stares and glares, disapproving looks, looks of fear. How ironic, he thought, to spend his whole life wanting to fit in, wanting to be a part of something, to not be feared, to not have anger directed towards him, and to become the opposite of it. He was feared, he caused anger, he represented a hateful group and there was nothing he could do about it. He had tried to change the system from inside, had tried to be “the good cop”. But it wasn’t enough. The force still discriminated against the black community of Roswell, the immigrants, the outsiders.

Max wanted to be there for them, wanted to protect them. But he had to face the facts, wearing that uniform didn’t make people feel safe. And he understood. Knew what it felt like to be afraid of being taken away by men in uniforms. Had nightmares about it even. Deep down, he knew what he had to do, what the obvious decision should be. Give up the badge . The voice in his head kept telling him, but he kept insisting, I need to protect .

He considered talking to Isobel and Michael about it, but decided against it, knowing what they would say. They had never been big fans of him joining the force, especially Michael. And Max couldn’t blame him. Even the others, he knew what they thought. Liz, the daughter of a recently documented immigrant who had sacrificed so much for his girls. Kyle, the son of the people who had protected this town in a way that Max failed to reproduce. Alex, the son of a bigot, who had faced hatred in ways Max could never grasp, who understood the consequences of an imbalance of power. Maria, the only black woman in their group, who spent too much of her life pretending not to pay attention to the racists, who had received comments since high school, comments that Max could never relate to. And Rosa, who had always been clear about how she felt towards the sheriff department.

In that moment, Max needed more than anything the presence of Cam, who would put him in his place and help him make the right choice, for him and the people of Roswell. But Cam was away with her sister, and this was a decision he needed to make alone. One that he needed to be responsible for.

He was taken out of his thoughts by a bottle being placed on the table and a chair being dragged across the floor. Max raised his head slowly, about to tell whoever had arrived that he wanted to be left alone, when he froze, mouth agape, at the sight of the man in front of him.

“Howdy, or whatever it is you people say,” said Forrest Long, sitting down on the chair and passing a hand through his blue hair, “mind if I sit?”

Max shook his head and sat up straight against the back of the chair. He looked at Forrest with frowned eyebrows, not really knowing what the other man was doing here. Forrest smiled at him and took a sip of his beer. He then turned to Max, leaning his elbows on the table between them. “So,” he started, “Alex told me quite a bit about what’s been happening since I left. Without acknowledging my cousin’s weird, 'alien' behaviour, it will be for another day, you’ve had quite a field trip with the regiment huh?” He emphasized the word ‘alien’, like he knew something, but he couldn’t could he? His eyes never left Max’s and it took him a moment to register what the historian had just said.

He must’ve been too long to react, since Forrest spoke up again, “Yes, me and Alex are friends. Yes I know about you and alien guy being… well… y’kown. And no, I’m not here to trash talk your brother or whatever.”

Max was about to say something about “alien guy”, but advised not too, not wanting to know exactly what Forrest knew. “Then why are you here?” he asked instead, crossing his arms against his chest in a defensive manner. “Relax,” chuckled Forrest, raising his hands in surrender, a wide grin on his face, “I heard about what happened today, perks of being related to members of the regiment I guess.” He raised his shoulders, seemingly having accepted that he couldn’t change who he was related to, and deciding to at least use it to his advantage. At Max’s nod he continued, “Look, you were right to tell Taylor off, and you were right to tell Pete to go to hell. And I think you were also right to slam the door when you left, but that’s just me liking the dramatic exit.” Max chuckled slightly at the end, more to Forrest’s wink than what he actually said.

Whas he right to do that? He might not have many friends in the force anymore. Not that he had many to start with in the first place.

He was back into his thoughts, thinking about the right thing to do and what the consequences would be, when Forrest cleared his throat loudly enough for Max to focus on their conversation again, but quiet enough not to bring attention to their table.

“Can I ask you a question?” he asked once he had Max’s attention again. “What was your dream job as a kid?” he said, not waiting for an answer.

Max thought about that. Thought about what he wanted to do with his life when he was a teenager. Before a part of him, Michael and Isobel broke forever. He wanted to travel to Europe. Wanted to see the wonders of the world. Had dreams about writing books. And now, he was doing neither of those things, couldn’t even finish his damn book.

Looking back at Forrest, he saw something in his eyes, something that could be understanding. After all, Forrest too had joined a career path of violence. But he had gotten out of it. And was now doing what he wanted to, at least according to Isobel who got it from Kyle who got it from Alex. “I wanted to be a writer.” The answer felt so simple as it came out of his mouth. Looking back at the crossroad, he could see the path straight ahead of him becoming more and more blurry and the other one coming into view. It was still unclear, still full of uncertainties, but it was already brighter than the one leading to the police force.

“You know,” Forrest started with a comforting smile, “when I decided to start writing my book and focus on history, it was fucking scary. But never once have I regretted it. Can you say the same about you joining the sheriff department?” It was a rhetorical question, Max didn’t even bother answering. Instead he played all the different scenarios in his head. He was starting to walk on the road leading to books, but he wasn’t quite there yet.

“I just- I wanna write, y’know?” he started to say, his head low, looking at his hat, seeing Forrest nod with a smile out of the corner of his eye. “But-”

“You don’t have to start there.” Finished Forrest, with a knowing smile. At Max’s confused glance, he continued, “Alex told me you like to read, right?” Max groaned but nodded, as true as Alex was, he wasn’t particularly a fan of a Long knowing he was still a nerd. Forrest smiled but didn’t seem phased, “So, why don’t you work with books?” he asked, innocently.

“You mean like a librarian?” Max laughed, not seeing himself in that job. “Why not?” challenged Forrest, “Why did you join the police in the first place?”

“To protect others,” he answered confidently.

“Librarians create a safe place,” the historian answered with a nostalgic smile. Seeing Max frown in confusion, he continued, “I actually met alien guy at the library y’know? Although that’s a different story, it did lead me to you lot.” He chuckled, seeing that Maw was still very confused at what he was talking about. “As a kid, I’d come to Roswell every holiday. And when I was old enough to realise I was very different to Wyatt, I started going to the library nearly everyday. And since then, every fight, every break up, every flashback, every bad day, has led me back. Whether it was Roswell’s library, or the few books on base when I was deployed, libraries have been my safe place. And I know they are for many other people.” He took a breath, letting his words sink in, before finishing, “You want to protect? You don’t need a gun for that. Good book recommendations, a smile and a comforting presence will do that.”

And with that, he finished his beer and stood up with a wink, leaving Max alone with his thoughts again. “A librarian,” he whispered with a smile. He then drank his glass, put his hat back on, and made his way to his jeep, heading towards the sheriff station, where he knew he would find Sheriff Taylor.

She was indeed there, surprised to see him. Without a word, Max walked to her desk, put his badge and gun on the table and left, slamming the door. Let the entire town of Roswell that Max Evans was going to welcome all people to the library, with open arms, a warm drink, a good book, and a smile. To protect.

[robininthelabyrinth]

1/ So I was thinking what if Wen Ruohan turned out to be LSZ's biological father? It would be a very interesting concept since they are such polar opposites and it's not even impossible as all we know about his bio parents is that they are WQ's and WN's cousins and the 2 of them could've known the truth but decided to bury it forever since there's no point in burdening a child with his dead father's bloody legacy.

2/ Except somehow WR survives the sunshot campaign (I mean he's almost an immortal it's unbelievable JGY could end him so easily) and he gets the mother of all redemption arcs (because even a megalomaniac mass murder would have a reality check if his leadership led to the total annihilation of the biggest and most powerful sect in the cultivation world) and so he decides to atone for his crimes by secluding himself in a mountain and spending eternity meditating and reflecting on his mistakes

3/ Until one day he finds a badly injured LSZ and recognizes him so he nurses him back to health but refuses to tell him anything about himself and LSZ being a human ray of sunshine doesn't mind it and even feels sorry for this mysterious hermit so he keeps visiting him from time to time (always alone cuz WR tells him he doesn't like people) and WR grows very fond of him because he's such a sweetheart and starts teaching him some secret QishanWen techniques and doting on him...etc and LSZ keeps telling him stories about his parents and how great they are and how much he looks up to them and all the milestones of his life WR could never be a part of cuz he was a horrible father, sect leader, and human overall (ouch!)

4/ And they have this mentor/student relationship with LSZ never asking WR questions about his past for a couple years until WN figures the whole thing out and tells LSZ the truth (out of fear WR would hurt him or manipulate him for some evil plan) and so more drama/angst happens. Basically WR paying for his crimes by an eternity of regret and atonement cuz honestly death was too easy on him

-------------------------------------------

The old man on the mountain could never leave his cave – that was the first thing Lan Sizhui learned about him. He’d been a cultivator once, before someone tore out his dantian and crippled his meridians; far worse than merely lacking a golden core, even his former cultivation has left him – the withered, weakened state of his body is evidence enough of that, and if Lan Sizhui could see his face beneath the iron mask that always concealed it, he thought it would reflect the same.

He was very likely a prisoner.

Lan Sizhui didn’t care. The man was no threat to him – Lan Sizhui wasn’t so foolish as to think that merely lacking cultivation was sufficient to render a man not a threat, he knew very well that a tongue capable of dripping poison could do far worse than any skill at swordplay, but this man barely spoke to him. He’d helped Lan Sizhui once, after a night-hunt gone wrong: the injury hadn’t been that serious, but the man had wrapped it up quite seriously before trying to scare Lan Sizhui away, refusing all manner of reward. So naturally Lan Sizhui had returned later, trying to repay the man with food or drink or even just company, and in the end the man had begrudgingly allowed him to sit and talk.

Lan Sizhui liked talking. He wasn’t a chatterbox, like Lan Jingyi, but there was something freeing about telling someone a little about himself – nothing that could be used to harm someone. It was mostly mundane things, everyday things: how much he loved the two men who had raised him, how much they loved each other (too much, sometimes), how he was getting better at guqin, how his seasickness had yet to abate despite a great deal of practice and good-natured teasing by his peers.

Every once in a while, the man grunted out some word of advice – the one about suppressing seasickness had been exceptionally helpful, and some of the ones about cultivation were (after being carefully cleared with Wei Wuxian) surprisingly effective for all that they didn’t come from any source with which Lan Sizhui was familiar.

The man had refused to explain, shutting down like a rock not just that time but several times after.

After failing to make any dent through kindness or sincerity, Lan Sizhui took his poor big brother as a role model and opted to be mischievous and annoying; eventually, the man snapped, “If I had raised you as my son, you wouldn’t have been so insolent.”

Lan Sizhui laughed, happy to have gotten a reaction. “But you couldn’t have,” he pointed out. “You and I are no relation; I do not take you even as a teacher – we are merely strangers passing some time together.”

The man turned his head away.

After a moment, he said, voice hoarse, “What if we weren’t?”

Lan Sizhui blinked. “What do you mean?”

“You have no idea how long I’ve been here,” the man said. “And I have never told you my name. For all you know, I could be your ancestor, related by blood. What would you say to that?”

“That would be hard,” Lan Sizhui said, smiling. “I’m not even a Lan by birth, in fact; I was adopted when I was young.”

“Regardless,” the man insisted. “The world is full of strange things. What would you say if I was more than a stranger to you?”

If Lan Sizhui had been younger, as impulsive as he’d been as a teenager, he might have answered rashly; he had been quite foolish back then. As much as he loved Wen Ning now, he had very nearly harmed Jin Ling beyond all telling by blithely accepting as family the one who had killed his father, who Jin Ling had no duty to ever forgive; it was a testament to Jin Ling’s resilience and innate goodness that he had.

“I would need to know more about you,” he said honestly. “I was born into a clan that was far from the best: there were cultivators there who were cruel, who were brutal, those who were even tyrannical, murderers and torturers and rapists; it is not too little to say that some of them were irredeemably evil. Those ones, I do not accept; those ones, I cast out, cut all ties with, and will never forgive. I will not sweep their graves, I will not honor their memories. I am filial only to the fathers that raised me and taught me righteousness, to my uncle who cares for me; even if were my own blood father returned from the dead, I would ask him to account for himself before I accepted him. After all, it’s only blood, and my surname has long not been shared with him…no, I wouldn’t feel bad at all. I have all the family I require.” He laughed and shook his head. “An interesting question, if hypothetical. Why do you raise it?”

The man was silent for a long moment. “No reason,” he finally said. “No reason at all.”

[juviin]

Here’s literally all the rosie lore. 

(template 1) (template 2)

Name: Rosemary Nare Etana Alias: Ro, Rose, Rosie Personality: Rosemary is very open about her emotions. She takes a while to warm up to people, but when she does, she loves people very strongly. Relatives: Father (estranged), Mother (deceased), 4 older siblings, 2 younger siblings. Status: Alive Species: Human Gender: cis female Age: 19 Eyes: Gold Hair: Pink Appearance: Rosemary is 5′5 and has short pink hair. She has two scars, one along her back and one on her lower right abdomen. She also has a tattoo on her calf of a lily. Birthday: July 30th Constellation: Leo Height: 5′5″ or 165 cm Blood Type: O Occupation: Magic Knight -Squad: Black Bulls Country: Clover Affinity: Lava Magic (On a scale of 0-10: 0 being terrible and 10 being the best) Physical Strength 5/10 Magic Amount 7/10 Magic Control 9/10 Magic Sensing 6/10 Cleverness 9/10 Growth 8/10 Equipment: none

(this next one is all in first person which i am NOT used to writing in but...)

Part 1: The Basics

What is your full name?--Rosemary Nare Etana

Where and when were you born?--I was born on July 30th in a large city in the Common Realm, however we moved to a small town shortly after I was born.

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)--

Lily Etana was my mother’s name. She worked several jobs while raising us, like waitressing and being a maid. She was very kind too, but a lot of people took advantage of her for that. I guess that’s why Val and I have taken to being aggressive about how we feel, and aggressive in sticking up for her. When I was 12, an assassin killed her and gave me the scar across my back. I’m sure he was sent by my grandparents, but they played the fool and even sent an advisor to her funeral. Since then, that advisor has scheduled meetings with me monthly to make sure I haven’t told anyone.

My father’s name is Andranik Typhos the fourth? something like that, but I don’t know very much about him. I know he’s a noble, but I’ve never met him. I don’t hear that many complaints about him, and Mother says he was a wonderful gentleman, but I’ve met his parents, and I find it hard to believe that they would raise a lovely son.

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?--I have four! On my mom’s side, at least.

Valerian is the oldest. He’s sixteen years older than me, so he’s a lot more mature than me, and very protective of us younger siblings. He has three kids, too, and his wife is Eli’s cousin. They have been married since I was only three, so she’s been in our lives forever. The two of them basically became my parents after our mother died, so I couldn’t be more grateful to them.

Then is Dahlia. Dahlia is 12 years older than me. She’s very calm, and there have been more than a few times where Valerian has been freaking out and Dahlia always keeps her cool and fixes the problem. She’s the best at makeup.

Basil is in the direct middle, and they’re 9 years older than me. They are very energetic and mischievous. I don’t think Basil wants a spouse, but they’re very dedicated to their craft. I blame them for the multiple scams of my father’s estate, but who’s complaining? Basil also has a scar along  their right cheek, running from their nose to their chin

Azalea is the closest to my age, she’s 25. She’s a lot like our mom. She treats everyone with kindness, but I worry about people taking advantage of her for that.

Also, I know that my father has two children younger than me with his wife, but I’ve never met them and I probably never will.

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.--I live with the Black Bulls! The base is really crazy and always changing, but there’s always something going on, so everyday is fun.

What is your occupation?--I’m a Magic Knight, but I have also worked some other jobs in the past.

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks--I’m 5′5, and around 150lbs. My skin is pale, so I tend to burn very easily, and my eyes are yellow and my hair is pink. I like to wear warm colors and clothes that aren’t very tight, as well as boots. I have two large scars, one is about three inches and is a slash along my stomach, while the other one is about eight inches long and runs across my upper back, both from assassination attempts. I try to hide both of them. I also have one tattoo on my lower calf, so it’s usually covered.

To which social class do you belong?--I believe I’m considered a commoner. I likely wouldn’t be considered a noble unless something happened to my father’s legitimate children, though I have no interest in being taken in by his family. 

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?—I get nosebleeds often because of an injury when i was younger. 

Are you right- or left-handed?—right handed

What does your voice sound like?—If I had to describe it, I’d say it’s medium in pitch and kind of airy. 

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?--nothing particularly?

What do you have in your pockets?—um. a handful of flowers, a pocket watch, and assorted candies. 

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?—I sometimes bite my nails. 

Part 2: Growing Up

How would you describe your childhood in general?--Average for the most part, I’d say. I had a loving mother and 4 great siblings. Still, my mother’s death hit all of us very hard.

What is your earliest memory?--Sadly, my first assassination attempt. That one was when I was around five and it was sent by my father’s family. It gave me the scar on my stomach, and also gave Basil the scar on their face from them protecting me.

How much schooling have you had?--I went to the small schoolhouse in town up until I was 12, and then I started going less so I could work more. 

Did you enjoy school?--I enjoyed learning, but I’ve found that I learn more outside of school.

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?--I learned basic first aid and how to identify certain plants and herbs from my siblings. I mostly learned battle from experience and assassins.

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.—my siblings, especially Basil

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?--We all got along very well as kids, though they were all a lot older than me so that did strain our relationships a bit, especially as the youngest.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?--As a child I wanted to work in medicine, even though my magic is ill suited for it. I only decided that I wanted to become a Magic Knight after my mother’s death.

As a child, what were your favorite activities?—i used to love helping my mother garden. 

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?--I cried a lot more than I do now. I was always scared, as I knew from a young age that my father’s parents wanted me dead.

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?--My only friend was really Eli, but she hung out with all the kids from town, so i vaguely knew them.

When and with whom was your first kiss?--also Eli, when we were about 12 and 13.

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?--I’m not. After Eli left town I kind of lost myself for the next two years until I became a knight. 

Part 3: Past Influences

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?--My mother's death perhaps?

Who has had the most influence on you?--Eli. I think if not for her, I would be a very different person.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?--The amount of nobles I’ve insulted to their faces on official magic knight business.

What is your greatest regret?--being born.

What is the most evil thing you have ever done?--I don’t think I’ve ever done anything “evil”, only some malicious things, but I don’t regret them.

Do you have a criminal record of any kind?--No, but I probably should for extortion.

When was the time you were the most frightened?--The first attempt on my life.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?--My elder brother catching me lying about my profession. 

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?—i would be stronger. 

What is your best memory?—probably the first few months with the black bulls. It was genuine happiness for the first time in a while. 

What is your worst memory?—the aftermath of my mother’s death. I don’t remember the actual event, some mix of trauma and head injuries, but I do remember the weeks following. 

Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?—i think i’m more pessimistic, but i'm trying to be an optimist. 

What is your greatest fear?--My greatest fear is once again being too weak to protect the people that I love. 

What are your religious views?--I’m not religious.

What are your political views?--I think that the Clover Kingdom’s nobility is corrupt, and the whole system needs to be fixed.

What are your views on sex?--I think nothing much of it. 

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?--I think I’m a hypocrite on this. I think killing is unacceptable, but I wouldn’t hesitate to kill the people that harm the ones I love. 

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?--In my opinion, the most evil thing one can do is to habitually hurt and abuse others.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?--No. I don’t think that anything like that is real.

What do you believe makes a successful life?--I think that money plays a large part of success. 

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?--Very open. My emotions are very easily read.

Do you have any biases or prejudices?--Yeah i hate nobles. 

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?--I try to stay out of the public eye as best I can. I also refuse to do jobs near my grandparents’ home. 

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?--Finral or Eli. I’d do anything for them.

Part 5: Relationships With Others

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?—I try to keep people at a distance, but when I become close to someone, they become one of my People. I’d do anything for the people I’m close to. 

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?--Right now, it’s probably Eli or Finral. They’ve positively affected me in more ways than I can count.

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?—Captain Yami is the person I respect the most. Joining the Black Bulls changed my life so much for the better, and I’m so grateful that he gave me that opportunity.

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people—Eli is my best friend. She’s loud and always smiling, but I worry about her. I’m also pretty close to Magna.  He’s a great friend and brings out my mischievous side more. 

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.--Finral is great. He’s a little goofy, but he is very loyal and loving. 

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.--I think I’m in love right now. 

How close are you to your family?--I’m very close to my older siblings.

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?--No. I think I’d like to at some point be a mother, but not for a while longer. 

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?--I think I would find it hard to turn to anyone, but if I was so desperate, probably Eli or Magna. I’m too afraid to show Finral my weakness. 

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?--No. I need to be strong enough to protect myself. 

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?--I think that the bulls would. 

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?--My father. My mother spoke kindly of him, but he abandoned her. 

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?--I argue more.

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?—depends who I'm with, but I’m more likely to take a leadership role.

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?—I’d prefer a smaller group, personally, but i’m not bad with large groups. 

Do you care what others think of you?—yes. immensely 

Part 6: Likes And Dislikes

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?--I enjoy reading romance novels, and spending time in nature. Flower fields remind me of home and give me comfort. 

What is your most treasured possession?—my pocket watch. my mother gave it to me, since it was a gift to her from my father. 

What is your favorite color?—i like warm pale yellow

What is your favorite food?—I like crepes!

What, if anything, do you like to read?—I like to read romance. 

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?--I enjoy reading. On days off, I often spend hours at a time sitting outside and reading.

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?—I generally don’t, but I will drink sometimes. I probably drink an average amount. 

How do you spend a typical Saturday night?—generally hanging around the Bulls hideout. If I have a day off I often go visit home to see my mother’s grave and give her flowers. 

What makes you laugh?—My squadmates! I’ve been told my sense of humor is bad..

What, if anything, shocks or offends you?--I hate the prejudices of the Clover nobles.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?—When that happens (because it has before) I will usually walk around the base, sometimes I eat a snack. I also like to head outside and look at the stars when I can’t sleep. 

How do you deal with stress?—I will usually end up letting it out, whether emotionally or magically. I don't like to bottle things up. 

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?—I prefer having a plan. 

What are your pet peeves?—people talking over others. 

Part 7: Self Images And Etc.

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?--I wake up at about 7 every morning, and get ready for the day. If I have a mission, I’ll leave for it early. On days I don’t have a mission, I will either go visit my mother’s grave or go see my grandparents or their advisor.

What is your greatest strength as a person?--I’d say my strength is supporting people. And also throwing lava. 

What is your greatest weakness?--I lie a bit too much, and I am a bit indifferent towards people I don’t care about.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?--I would want to be more caring. 

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?--I’d say introvert.

Are you generally organized or messy?--Organized. I don’t like disorder.

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.--I’m good at lying, cleaning, and fighting. I’m bad at controlling my emotions, sewing, and cooking.

Do you like yourself?--No, I really don’t. 

What are your reasons for being a magic knight*? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…)--I am a magic knight because I want to protect people. 

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?--I want to heal from my past. 

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?--I hope to still be a Magic Knight, and hopefully a higher rank.

If you could choose, how would you want to die?--I would want to die swiftly if I could choose.

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.--I would try to isolate myself from the people I love, so that they wouldn’t have to deal with grief. I think I would generally be calm.

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?--I want to be remembered for my strength. 

What three words best describe your personality?--open. loyal. decisive.

What three words would others probably use to describe you?--Rosie is loyal, smart, and loving!!-Eli