#lord help me i dont know shit what the fuck am i supposed to do fucking die??????

[panzershrike-pretz]

How can a fucking physics project go dowhill so fucking fast im scared

[vauxxy]

KILLER

spiderman!luke castellan x reader

part 1 || part 2

★ "i am sick of the chase but i'm hungry for blood, and theres nothing i can do"

ABOUT - luke castellan is new york's very own 'friendly neighbourhood spider-man'- because of course he fuckin' is. to make matters even better, you're the only one at school who knows. lucky you.

WARNINGS - australian slang yet again (sorry guys, i cant help it. its in my blood!), swearing, first person?? idk i thought it'd be cool. sorry if it sucks. lol. mentions of adderall (she has ADHD) and vaping. reader is a rich girl and the leader of the sassy girl apocolypse.

"are you okay, ma'am?"

"dont call me ma'am, luke."

"okay, what the fuck."

that's how i found out the nerd in my AP chemistry class was spider-boy. i mean, obviously i had caught on to his whole 'superhero thing' like, a week after the news articles started flooding in. it was so obvious.

luke is probably one of the only guys in the world dumb enough to put on a latex suit in order to help old ladies cross the street. sure, he's a good samaritan- and sure, he's saving small businesses from being mugged into bankruptcy and shit; but who cares?

every night, i see him swinging from building to building like a fucking weirdo. it gets old after the first 100 foot drop down from the hilton hotels building. like, we get it. you're spider-man. good for you.

sadly, my cynicism was brought to a halt as soon as he saved me from being brutally robbed on my way home. of course i got mugged on the one day i decided not to wear my doc martens. just my luck.

i used to cut through this sketchy alleyway to get to my bus stop because it took way too long walking around the block- that was my first mistake. DO NOT GO INTO SKETCHY ALLEYWAYS IN NEW YORK. NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS IN AN ALLEYWAY.

my second mistake was deciding against popping my second addy during 5th period, because if i had, then maybe i'd be alert enough to clock what was happening before this druggie had his glock pointed at my head. well, at least it wasn't his dick. praise the lord!

the druggie snuck behind me, before literally grabbing me by the neck and pushing me up against the wall of the dingy alleyway. then, he pulled out a WHOLE ASS GUN from his pocket and held it to my head, using the sleeve of his sweater to cover its form.

my breath hitched as the water bottle inside my backpack pressed against my spine. that was my third mistake. frank green water bottles hurt when they're pushing into your bones.

"you're gonna give me all the money you've got on you, kay?" he asked in a low, raspy voice. he definitely smoked 5 packs a day.

nevertheless, i nodded and reached into the side pocket of my backpack. i pulled out my cute little mimco purse and started taking out all the cash in it. it hurt my soul to get rid of it- that money was supposed to go towards my new vape. bummer.

my hands were shaking as they held the messy assortment of bills, waiting for him to take it from me and just leave me alone.

"good. thanks- dont be tellin' anyone about this, or else i'll find you,' he threatened, slowly pulling the gun away from my head.

"i wont, i swear!"

"you're taller than him, ma'am. why dont you just kick him to the curb?"

i furrowed my brows, my eyes scanning the alleyway for the origins of the voice. the origins of luke's voice.

his nasally tone was so distinct, i could recognise it with my head underwater.

"the fuck?" called out the short, ugly smoker with my money. he whipped his head around furiously, suddenly a lot more alarmed than when he was robbing me. suddenly, the nerdy loser in latex swung down and pushed him onto the cold ground.

spider-boy grabbed his wrists and held them behind his back, before webbing them together in some homemade handcuffs.

"are you fuckin' kidding me?" the guy grumbled, his voice muffled by the gravel pushing against his mouth as spider-dork held his head to the ground.

"nope, not kidding you," he sighed, using his webs to secure the man into his position on the ground. he dug into the mans pockets and pulled out my money.

yep, that was luke castellan all right.

spider-nerd leapt off the constrained druggie and walked over to me, handing me back my assortment of bills. "are you okay, ma'am?" he asked, looking downwards a bit to meet my gaze.

thats exactly how luke looks at me. he's gotta be luke- he HAS to be.

i had been watching luke for weeks. i had been analysing his every movement, every strange look and awkward gesture. i was 99.9% sure that spider-man was luke castellan.

but there was only one way to find out.

"dont call me ma'am, luke."

luke choked on air, taking a step forwards as he clumsily held onto the wall in shock. "okay, what the fuck?"

i laughed dryly, my eyes narrowed as i stared at him. the whole ‘spider-man’ thing really did suit him.

"you know?" he stuttered out. i nodded, before pointing over at the guy still squirming under his webs. "maybe you should get rid of him," i said calmly, crossing my arms over my chest after stuffing my money into the pocket of my jeans.

"oh. yeah, right."

before i knew it, luke had quite literally kicked the guy in the head to knock him out.

"are you allowed to do that?" i asked, my eyes wide in shock.

"nah, not really," luke shrugged, before looking down at his watch and pressing a few buttons.

"i thought you were supposed to be a friendly neighbourhood spider-boy," i retorted. luke scoffed, looking back up at me with what i could only assume to be a sly grin from under his mask. "its spider-man,” he corrected.

“and criminals who mess with pretty girls deserve to be curb stomped."

okay. yeah. he had a fair point. i am rather pretty.

then, out of nowhere, luke grabbed me by the waist and aimed his wrist towards the sky. before i knew it, he was swinging us towards the sky like a fucking lunatic.

“luke! what the fuck?!” i screamed, wrapping my arms around his neck and clinging to his body for dear life.

“what’s your addy?” he asked, his toned arm keeping me in place as it pressed against the small of my back.

‘what’s your addy?’ seriously? what a fuckin’ loser. i would’ve made fun of him for using snapchat lingo if it weren’t for how strong his arms were. jesus christ, they were so big and toned… no wonder he skips gym class every lesson; he doesn’t want to show off. what a humble king.

“uhh- greenhead avenue!” i cried out, digging my head into the nook of his neck. gods, he smelt good.

luke nodded, holding me tighter as he swung us through the air. “rodger that.”

“thanks for like… saving me, or whatever,”

i stood inside my bedroom, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as i clung onto the window frame. luke took off his mask as he stood on the balcony, leaning against the railing. he shot me a meek smile, tilting his head to the side as a way to play down his cocky demeanour.

he’s never gonna let me live this down.

“don’t worry about it.”

he paused, letting his smile drop. “just- promise you won’t tell anyone?” luke asked, his voice low as he leaned forward.

of course i wasn’t going to tell anyone- i’m not a total cunt. i have morals… sometimes.

“i promise, luke.”

he smiled, pulling his mask back over his head before taking a step back. “great. see you on monday,” he called out, jumping off the railing and swinging away from my apartment building.

as soon as he left, i face planted against my bed.

luke castellan was spider-man. i fucking knew it.

that was fine. i knew that.

but what really got me was how hot it was when he held me by the waist, how good he smelt, how raspy his voice was- WHAT THE FUCK.

no. what the fuck. are you kidding me. god no. no no no no no no no. i’m going to jump off the balcony. this is it.

of course. just my luck.

that day i confirmed my suspicions of luke being spider-man.

i also realised why i cared about it much.

fuck my life.

[alexandraisyes]

joining in on ranting in you're ask box part- uh- idk 3?? 4??? I dont even know anymore

Anyway, *cough* i think still have some of these left (edit: I just finished typing this all out and think is defiently an understatement-)

SolarNexus: Solar just goes off on Moon for how much he hates Nexus. Thats all I have for that. I'm sorry im this close to forcing myself to start writing fanfiction again just to write this. Also for my true loves kiss saves Nexus idea- and just to write about Nexus finding who he is instead of who he's supposed to be. .... can you tell i think about these two a lot? (Edit: I prove later that I think about them even more, and Eclipse)

BloodySun: I'm like feral for these two- just, like- Bloodmoon giving dead birds and stuff to Sun and he's absolutley digusted but trying not to hurt their feelings- i- ansusnhas

Servant Sun x Servant Eclipse: I've seen like 1 ship fic with these two but I dont care. I'm obsessed. They need to hold hands and heal and go to therapy together. Obviously Eclipse would defiently be able to help Sun more (cause lord Eclipse), but Sun could defiently help Eclipse too. (Is Eclipse faking losing his memories/being reset or some shit canon? I've read too much fanfiction- im going to assume it is for this) he can also help Eclipse learn that he doesn't have to be fake all the time and thatd be cute

Nexus x Dark Sun: I dont even have thoughts about this. Like I have feelings but I dont have thoughts. I cant even reason why I like this, I just like the toxic yaoi. I just like the concept of Dark Sun not even liking Nexus but manipulating him- like- Moon turned bad x biggest moon hater. I also just like hurting Nexus so other characters can help him heal. Only thing turning me off from this ship is that its an alternate universe of his ex-brother who would most likely be his brother again if he had a redemption arc. Like- I love seeing the ship and I like the concept just it gives me the ick, but thats okay cause I dong have to rot over every ship. Actually, I'm glad I'm not obsessed with this ship I dont need more angst living in my brain. ... I am obsessed with it in a platonic sense tho so I guess the angst is in my brain anyway

Nexus x Eclipse but its when they were looking for who made Eclipse: Nexus abolutley collared him. Im sorry. .. no im not, im right. Like, what is with Nexus and treating others like dogs??? Like first v4 Eclipse, and now Ruin??? Nexus is there anything you want to tell us??? Okay pet play- also doing that to the masochist is crazy, like if you're going to treat anyone like a dog why would it be Ruin that feels like setting yourself up for disaster. Even if he isn't actually a masochist he sure is known for pretending to be one

Nexus x any Eclipse ever: listen, im just saying I think he has a thing for Eclipse's (which is funny cause Moon fucking hates them) Treating Eclipse and Ruin like his dogs. Solar being his best friend. Even Dark Sun, who's a really smart Evil Sun who absorbed the knowledge of his Moon, so im counting him. Like I think Nexus would like being thrown around by Lord Eclipse, or helping to fix up Servant Eclipse. I'm just saying-

Eclipse ² x Nexus (gets its own section i rot about these three): them just reassuring the other's that they're loved and cared for- im sorry you can't tell me that these three don't all have some form of attachment issues- Eclipse being so used to people hating him that he kind of just instinctively pushes people away. Similar with Solar, but he does it more so emotionally while also feeling like he has to earn his place and do things for people. And Nexus also feels like he has to prove himself, and that he isn't good enough.

And they just reassure each other and then the others use their words against him (/pos) and they realize how stupid it sounds and anisnsusnsns <3<3 like- nexus being like "you don't have to prove yourself for anyone, Solar. We love you, you don't need to overwork yourself for us." And, like- solar saying it to him back- and Nexus is just like ".. okay listen-" and similar things happening with the other two and ensunsjss-

also they're the three worst at interaction (other than old Moon he takes the cake for worst at it, but its okay i love it)- like they're all pretty bad at it. Eclipse is Eclipse(aka memories as a villain, and is a sarcastic little shit), Nexus is just kind of awkward, and cmon Solar didn't really ever have any interaction after his split than his Moon and probaly kids, we know he can't talk to people easily. Honestly tho Solar is the best at it (he was able to start up a conversation with Moon easier than Moon could with him) and I imagine he's the one who orders at restaurants

And Moon hates both of Solar's boyfriends and Moon and Solar are friends and I think that's just kind of funny. Like Moon likes Solar so he doesn't stop being friends with him even though he's dating the two, but he's bitter about it (though honestly if Nexus had a redemption arc and it was proved he had a virus, I feel like Moon would hate him a little less. But he'd probaly still be insecure about Nexus probaly taking his place and everyone not really liking Moon again so he'd probaly still be an ass to him.)

Anyway they cuddle. Doesn't even have to be romantic, those three deserve to be in love (also the potential from forbidden love Eclipse² is Nausnsusnsn)

... I- shipping dynamics are neat

I apologize for making this so long, I expected it to be short and then I remembered I started to like new ships 😔

ALSO were being brave and doing this off anon (also id like you to know I genuinely just stared at my phone for a moment when I saw youd followed me lmao. I was so suprised [and delighted, you're neat]- plus it was like 4 am and I hadn't slept yet. I thought it was a dream the next day because I was that tired- I had to check cause i get very vivid dreams-)

All of these are so canon bro.

Solar saves Nexus with true loves kiss real? Real. I saw it with my own two eyes. It happened chat.

BLOODYSUN!!! They love their sunny and try to show that in the best way they know how, dead birds included. Sun is so grossed out by the blood and feathers and ough that's a dead bird ewww but he just forces a smile and nods and feeds it to his cats when Bloodmoon isn't looking. Then drowns his hands with soap and shampoos the carpet.

I feel like I've seen that fic too but my poor brain- Also yes, the pretending to be reset is canon. And that's so cute I'm-

Platonic ships are just as valid as romantic ones! And I really like the angst potential too heheheheh

Ayo 👀 Mmm I have thoughts about that but I must refrain.

Objectively correct. Nexus is an eclipsephile. He loves himself some eclipse.

POLY POLY POLY 🎉🎉🎉

THANK YOU FOR SHARING ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTS THESE ARE SO TASTY OH MY GOD ROLLING THESE AROUND IN MY BRAIN

Also awww ur so sweet. I love ur art! It's very cute! Of course I followed!

Ask Game

[spamtoon]

DCRC Week 8--hey, look at that! On time!

Okay I woke up early today and I am NOT happy about it so before I do anything I'm going to sit down and read Paperinik because I was so excited to game last night and now I kinda don't feel like it. MAYBE I'll go back to sleep after this but I think I just kinda have to live with this.

Sorry I don't have any club penguin screenshots this time. unless something happens. wait i have the perfect idea

you can say odin eidolon in club pen.guin

omg its the panel. its the pk panel that everyone's like that goes so hard and you know what. it does go so hard

im so mad the way they didnt try to put it over the text this time. i love you pkna translation

omg the duck avenger actually fighting normal crime and being on patrol and shit no way. with these comics if they're dealing with cosmic threats on a daily basis its easy to forget they just like. also stop normal crime. like kidnappings and shit

ah okay. clearly these are the evronians from the second dimension

okay is the time police back to helping donald. or are these guys just normal cops. okay nevermind we time travelled i guess so normal cops. okay

so they use that shot and then they're like BOOM you're in the future actually. let me explain

im so fuckin mad the way this background lady is looking at donald like Who the Fuck is this guy. he Sucks

So I guess those guys are stronger because they're Future evronians and donald fighting them was like nuh uh uh! let's give you a future tour first

hes so tiny. hes so insanely little look at him. i guess after the time police explosion incident they're like alright. this is the only guy who can help us let's just tell him about the future becaues he's gonna find out anyway

i love the super trash here sign. in the future even trash is super

omg... he's coming. he's coming. he's coming. the guy's name i can't spell

hes so sad that uno's mortal after all... poor guy...

lord i dont know if we're supposed to not trust this guy but i do not trust this guy How do you know about all this stuff if it hasn't been documented well

i also like that everyone is taller--not just in the future but in pkna in general actually it feels like donald is in new donk city

donald is so cute in this panel... he's so silly

okay now i dont think we're supposed to trust this guy he's fuckin giving donald a pearl (SORRY) (reference)

donald misses uno sooooooo much already

sorry im on a kick now i didnt include the evermore comment but i swear to cog all my brain has to say about the tape head tv is "the void..." (another (reference)

ooh they're alright fightiiing please get to the part where we see The Catch or better yet. odin

donald's cape in this issue...

THE WAY I WENT YOOOOOO OUT LOUD

iced tea imported from england. lifeguards imported from sp

this fucking guy and his posing

i love how theres just a crowd forming behind them i'm so. they're chilling. hitting it off already.

okay glad to see donald also thinks this is suspicious

im so mad hes so fucking done looking

poptropi.ca good future lookin ahh. not that he doesnt have taste

bruh the fuckin fake evronians. im so mad. wow im sure this isnt foreshadowing anything the walt disney corporation will do in the next three centuries SORRY.

robot eye..................................

so thats why they look like that like they're literally supposed to be edgier evronians for the sake of tv hence why they're so second dimension alright.

the stupid fuckin eyebrow quirk im so mad donald's little goofy shrug

HELP im so mad. the robot parts. not going to photograph because it's kinda unsettling me a bit in a mega.volt way but

SORRY HIS FACES ARE SO FUNNY i keep having to screenshot them

his fucking expression. he's so fucking screwed

IM SO FUCKING MAD the cops were like alright yeah. fuck it. you're a tv guy i'll sign off on this as long as you dont do anything too stupid. lets rewrite this history and shape the perceptions of the future because yeah we wanna see that too that'd be sick

i love how this is the first movie pose he knows when he's like alright fine. let's do this stupid movie. hi odin...

robo-donald

HELP IM SO MAD the way the evronian was actually the chancellor guy, i'm so mad

also i guess xadhoom got her way and donald didnt just get them to stop invading earth but actively destroyed all of them. except this one guy. you know what good for her

oooh the beam deflected. i mean technically we dont either but you dont know hes a robot yet... ooooooh you targetted the wrooong guy

omg the uno textboxes... oughghgnn...

HI UNO!!!!!!! I MISSED HIM i cant send anymore images but HAIIII

oh uno,... i'll admit i looked up odin eidolon like one day before i started reading paperinik and then accidentally found the spoiler but i'm glad its like. hinted at/revealed this issue rather than like. a big buildup because i would have felt bad

im so mad the way uno says his files are overloaded the machine... ohohgnsngnngsng

alright good issue! i prompted puffy to draw a duck avenger 23rd century fanart and now im very scared but yaaaay im caught up on paperinik

[gumsnail682]

I haven't posted a fic in so long ahhh! I'm so sorry I've gotten busy (I moved lol) and I've been lacking motivation but heres this!

I wrote a short fic about another post I made lol. I'm not going to write a full on story cause I dont have the motivation but I'm gonna write short scans and scenarios with it.

This is how Levi and MC meet, enjoy!

~~~~

You danced around your kitchen, blasting the opening to TSL on loop. The opening was in Japanese which you didn't know but you still did your best to sing along. You were really feeling the music but your body froze immediately when an orange portal opened directly in front of you. A man came out of the portal, looking very confused, you both locked eyes and just stared at each other for a long few seconds.

Then you both started screaming.

"Who the fuck are you!?" – "AHHHH!"

You stumbled back, tripping on your own feet and landing on your ass. "Fuck! Ow!" You cursed, the man had backed up against the wall and looked like he was trying to fuse with it. "W-what do you want from me!?" He shut his eyes tight and took a few deep breaths before moving away from the wall. "I mean, why have you summoned me, human?!" He tried to be intimidating, even though he wasn't the most scary looking when he was lowkey trembling, you were still scared since he was, you know, a stranger who was IN YOUR HOUSE. 

"They're actually afraid?" Levi thought to himself, feeling a bit of pride swell in his chest. He suddenly noticed the song that was blaring in your kitchen, he could recognize it from anywhere. "This is the TSL opening isn't it?" He blurted, you nodded "Have.. have you watched it?" You asked nervously. "Of course I have! I'm not some normie." He huffed, suddenly you weren't so scared. "Uh.. who's your favorite lord?" You asked, you didn't really have any friends into the same thing as you so as stupid as it may be you were going to take this chance to talk about TSL! "The second lord of course!" You got off the ground with a grin, "Mine too! He's so cool!" You couldn't help but get excited. "I get it now, you summoned me because you wanted someone to talk about TSL with!" He concluded, he looked so proud of himself and you couldn't bring yourself to tell him the truth for some reason.

You took a minute to take in his appearance, horns, a long tail. Definitely not human, "Holy shit did I accidentally summon a demon?!" You thought, your train of thought was broken by your timer going off, your nuggets were ready. You quickly put on your oven mitts and set the tray on top of the stove top to cool. 

You thought back to a book you read in the 7th grade about demons, 'Try to appease them so they won't eat you.' "Yeah, I can do that." You lied to yourself. "Uh do you.. want some? I was just gonna watch some anime and eat if you wanna join." You said nervously, you hardly talked to humans, how were you supposed to talk to a demon!? Did demons even like chicken nuggets?

Little did you know the demon standing before you was thinking along the same lines "I don't even talk to other demons, how am I supposed to talk to a human!? What should I say? I want to but at the same time I don't! Ahh!" After a few moments of unnerving silence he responded. "Sure."

You both sat awkwardly on your couch, plate of nuggets in between you. After a few episodes you had fully relaxed and started humming along to the opening and ending songs. Levi's attention turned to you, "Cute." He couldn't help but find you adorable, even though you were a human. He finally built up the courage to hum alongside you, quietly at first.

When you noticed this you began muttering the words and soon enough you were both singing along. When you got to season 2 and the opening changed you impulsively stood up and offered your hand to him, hips swaying with the music, surprisingly he took your hand and you pulled him to his feet. You began dancing together, it almost felt like you had been friends forever in that moment.

Suddenly he lifted you up and spun you around at the end of the song. Both of you had wide smiles until he realized what he had done. "AHH! I'm so sorry!" He dropped you immediately, "Shit-! I'm sorry!" He reached down and pulled you to your feet, panicking when you flinched from his touch. "It's ok! It's fine, I'm ok!" You tried to calm him. "I'm a failure, I should've known things were going too well." He sulked, sinking to the floor. "Hey now, it's really ok. That was actually pretty fun! Not the being dropped part but you know, before that." You cursed yourself for being so bad with words. "Really? You.. you dont think I'm weird or creepy?" He asked, "Of course not! We were having fun weren't we?" Levi got up off the ground, "Yeah, we were." His phone suddenly buzzed and he looked alarmed when he looked at it.

"Oh, I have to go!" He turned around and a portal formed on the ground in front of him. "Wait! Will I see you again?" You asked, he turned back to you for a moment, "Uh.. here give me your phone!" You handed it over after unlocking it and he typed something in before giving it back. Then he jumped into the portal and it closed immediately after.

He had given you his number.

[ipoddymouth]

Wait bestie I want to know your thots on the matty healy being problematic thing he’s said a lot of weird/offensive stuff for sure but apparently some of that stuff is supposed to be satirical/ he’s an edge lord or whatever like the n*zi salute thing he did and it’s not a good thing to do no matter the context but I feel like it’s probably more harmful to call him a n*zi when he isn’t actually one it’s probably better to call that action antisemitic than a whole n*zi no?

wait gjargigjag you just basically summarized my thoughts but imma ramble more under the cut

i dont think matty is actually, truly, deep in his core racist or a n*zi (i'm also p sure he's given enough interviews explaining himself and his political ideologies bc he's annoying and never shuts the fuck up) BUT he also does say a bunch of shit on the side that doesn't help his case.

i think intent is a big issue in society in general bc it's like 'are you saying this shit to be funny? or are you saying this shit to be mean?' and people don't ask that question anymore. i remember when ariana dated pete and he made that joke about manchester and people were like 'he's disrespecting the dead!!' and, like, i can defs see where people are coming from for sure, and i can also see why he was like ???? in response to the backlash because his attention clearly wasnt to offend.

i will not lie and will fully admit that i am SENSITIVE lmao and there are some jokes in standup sets that i will straight up 😐 during bc i cannot separate the words from intent sometimes but im not going to say bill burr is a rape apologist or whatever because i sit and watch my silly lil 'offensive' robot chicken episodes without batting an eye. the problem with humor is that there will always be a faction that makes certain people uncomfortable. and that's okay!!!! not all of us (me included) need to watch cumtown or red scare because we will not find it funny!!! there's one drag queen who's yt videos my boyfriend cant watch bc he thinks she comes across mean even though i think the jokes hit!!!!

and to your second point i agreeeee like im black and grew up in a p white area so obviously people have said some SHIT to me, but that means you have to learn how to distinguish between someone being intentionally racist or someone being ignorant. i think matty says shit he thinks is funny because he's trying to be funny but the jokes themselves don't hit and just come across as....bizarre? rude??? multiple -ists???? but then he tries to explain himself and people (strangers to him) are either like 'fuck u this isnt sincere' or are just like 'but youre still wrong and horrible' and he just gets frustrated and deletes his socials in a lil baby fit gjlragjaglgj. and not to be a white apologist lmao BUT i kinda do understand why people turn to that 'anti-woke ideology' bc if every time i said something with poor phrasing and someone i didn't know called me a racist n*zi i'd probs go ape shit too.

there are real, actual n*zis like in real life who are actually trying to hurt people and people are pulling out all of their big gun ultra-bad labels for some scrawny boy band dude???? like what are we supposed to call the actual n*zis???????? like i l i t e r a l l y have seen a neo-n*zi rally down the street from my HOUSE and thats fucking TERRIFYING and they're just snatching up more people because of all of the culture wars bullshit

[but like to note im not saying that people need to be forgiving and understanding every time someone says something that pisses them off. some people need to be yelled at!!! they need to know they are wrong!!!! people should just be aware of the impact their words have. matty's words have made A LOT of people straight up hate him, but at the same time, some people have probably seen matty get called a n*zi and are now like 👀 bc the bar to being considered h*tler seems kinda low.]

anyway tl;dr racism is a spectrum, words have meaning, and we don't know these people. but if matty really is a racist and im wrong then i hope he chokes!!!

ALSO i am an adult and am not in the business of defending other adults so like im not gonna argue with someone if they think matty is racist. i am not doing dirty hit pr for FREE

[am-i-sans]

dnd adventure 16

we spent sometime talking about the logistics of fucking a talking sword

cam goes to eeby deeby and inferno comes out. undyne punches him in the face lol.

we let the mayor know we killed the dragon and he tells the town. mayors kid said theirs a beast of some sort in the woods so were gonna go kill it!

undyne,suzy, frog and tori got fuckin lost lol. dans and inferno corral them cause good lord undyne is punching trees.

2 shambling mounds? gotta free the person!

crit 31 damage from me FINALLY!

we STILL dont see frogs new dagger. dammit moss show meeeee!!!

tori keeps getting hit for rookie numbers lol.

undyne did 29 damage jebus. plus 12 to hit my ass.

frog can FINALLY use the dagger! the guitar solo from bohemian rhapsody? what? dagger of guitar solos?! wtf.

undyne finally kills viney! she saves the dude!

used my hammer to smack the other guy cause yay new weapon!

frogs dagger is now playing freebird help me.

tori learns! she moves out of the way of everyone to use lighting bolt! IT HAS LIGHTNING ABSORPTION YOU KILLED US!

i got hit! so did frog! bazinga. so i slapped it with my boomerang.

(i am once again reminded i murdered the music bot on accident ;-;)

(also raz was so fuckin mad it didnt die in the big hit he did lol)

undyne finally kills it! freedom! LEVEL UP!

got a new spell poggers. frog learned eldrich blast ;-; and fireball xD

going back to tell the mayor that the monster is real!

im going to sell my shit. frog is doing band stuff. undyne and tori are going drinking and forcing inferno around. suzy is being secretive?!

inferno is gambling lol. and i got fuckin loaded selling my shit yeasssss like over a thousand gold *dab* inferno is doing blackjack. he won.

sharing some ale with undyne. inviting tori for some drinking. just some wholesome bonding. dans reassures tori and undyne hes not upset about what happaned. tori contemplates her lighting and hurting others. undyne works her anger out.

we notice suzy isnt back yet. dans passes notes to undyne and tori telling them about the money and to not tell inferno and then eats the notes.

susie found a cave where their family stayed when she was a kid. SUSIE LORE! we go visit the cave. its just a bare cave. her family was an actual pack of fuckin wolves. humans kidnapped her when she got near a town. she stole an axe and escaped. met a bear. lived with her. kidnapped by elves. joined hyenas but they sucked so she left. went solo. mt cave. (cam popped into chat in the middle of this lol) dragon lair. ate her whole. chewed her way out. stomped on its head until it died. met frog and tori and lived near the woods by them.

cams no longer in eeby deeby! and is fuckin freaked at suzys background. 'dragons can be killed?!' lol

we see a flyer about a festival in a city a few days travel away! midsummer festival! party! we get on soupnik!

we see a burnt down town! oh no! undyne was supposed to roll a history but got a 3 lol. tori ALSO knows this place hmmmm sus. thankfully frog calls tori out lol.

tori lore finally! she used to live here :( her mother made 'a poor decison' made a pact and got everyone killed. including her siblings. everyone hug the tori!

to be continued~

[nardonotes]

24 sep '24

8:52pm

hello my mankeys... (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) i am so tired and my body is sore..... i didn't make an entry yesterday but i literally can't even rmbr what happened.. "( – ⌓ – ) like did i write one yesterday or no? me forgot huhuhu.. what did i even do yesterday bruh,, i can't rmbr. i got a bad case of ifuckingforgotinitis *facepalm* OH I RMBR! LOL i was 1. late for class and 2. had a 3hr long break in between and took a nap at home AND KNOCKED OUT!!!! I WOKE UP EXACTLY ON TIME FOR CLASS. it was like my body said BITCH WAKE UP U GOT CLASS......!! and then i RAN TO CLASS (which was literally pointless because i had done everything for that class on the weekend so i just sat there helping everyone. they need to pay me)

BUT ANYWAYS, enough of yesterday- let's talk about today! lord did i have fucking day!! (⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝) first of all, LATE FOR CLASS AGAIN. and i remember waking up like 20 minutes before class and emailing my prof like "i will be late" literally lied out of my fucking ass... hehe. and then i went back to sleep for a little bit then BOOM. it's been two hours and class is almost over -_-/ u know what? idgaf. i really don't gaf, it's not a national holiday. ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ) it's fine cause im not super behind in that class anyways. but yeah,, and then right after class- i took a train to the nearest city (45 mins train ride) to meet my friend, yall know the friend i talked about a few entries ago, TO TALK ABOUT TEA!!!! but then they invited like three of their friends.... awko taco moment. but it's ok cause they're cool and we still got to talk about the situation that occurred. i would've still wanted to just talk to them though. also i was supposed to stay till 6pm but they were talking about unrelated things for so long,, and i was so tired my head hurt- so i left 2 hrs early!!

( ´･･)ﾉ(._.`)

anyways, the second i got home i literally took a shower and did some work because FUCK!!!!!!! I AM SO FUCKING DRAINED AND MY BODY ALWAYS HURTS NOW AND I BEEN HAVING STOMACH ISSUES LIKE I WANNA SHIT ALL THE TIME BUT I HAVE NO APPETITE WHO VOODOOED ME??? the voodoo in question being my body not used to going out 5-6 days a week in a row. ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡

ok last thing before i end this, i redownloaded instagram for chismosa purposes (i have insane chismosa virus) and had to get in the gc.. but while i was in the dms i noticed this girl i had been talking to for literally like i think months ( i aired her when i started college sorry!) (ó﹏ò｡) had dmd me asking how i been 3 days ago. and i feel bad cause it's like damn... u want me this bad or u just bored? like should i just give her my number and start texting her again? BUT THEN IT WOULD BE A SITUATIONSHIP AND LIKE I LOWKEY DONT WANT THAT.... but she is pretty. also far away still (everyone is far from me) but she's also giving yellow fever oo- anyways,, the attention is nice. idk what to do. ૮ – ﻌ–ა

ANYWAYS I YAPPED TOO MUCH AGAIN! idgaf. goodnight to pretty girls only and me <33

song of the day; Nothing Else Matters by Little Mix !! ♪♫~

[milflookingforadilf]

So yesterday. i tried to end everything again. it happened. i cried final time for him. he begged to be back again.

This fucking shit i told him everything i told everything why does he wanna make our life a living hell. He saw my love and obedient side. now he will see the side i was trying not to do. which is hurt.

but i know i cant. even yesterday when i cried i didn't cry for him i cried on myself how i ruined someone life by existing.

I tried everything i told him abt my parents i told how i can't live w him yet he wants to be with for fuck sake why is the wrong guy. why am i receiving everything i want from the guy i dont want.

won't i receive anything in the future now? will i receive my karma in future? what if i want and love someone this badly and i get the treatment someone else gave me? now im stuck i dont what will happen im so so so lost i need Allah. I need Allah's help. i can't carry on this forever i tried everything i wss ready i was ready to do everything but its impossible.

leaving on good terms or leaving him hurting him will give one result: me being the bad guy.

but why? didn't i tell him that's it cant happen? didn't i tell him this is haram stop? his love stops me. his honesty stops me. i wont find it anywhere

im laughing at how i thought this day would ever come. me ranting over a guy. haha fuck my dreams are shattered.

if i hurt him someone will hurt me in future but if i stay with him that will also hurt. if we end. he will come back again wnd again crying. what am i supposed to do? Lord help me.

[pesterloglog]

John Egbert, Meenah Peixes

Meat, page 22

JOHN: why am i even THINKING about this bullshit??

JOHN: argh!

MEENAH: yo blue guy

MEENAH: get the shell down here

JOHN: thank god. i was beginning to think that no one else was alive.

MEENAH: im not alive

JOHN: oh right. sorry.

JOHN: i’m glad to see you, is what i meant to say.

MEENAH: same

MEENAH: i fuckin guess

MEENAH: i gotta say

MEENAH: damn buoy ya look like S)-(IT

JOHN: yeah, i know.

JOHN: i suffered a mortal wound, and then i threw up on myself.

JOHN: other than that, i’m ok though.

MEENAH: waterboat lord english

MEENAH: he bite the bullet or what

JOHN: yeah he’s...

JOHN: he’s pretty fucking dead.

MEENAH: whale

MEENAH: theres that at least

JOHN: hey, uh...

JOHN: mee...

JOHN: fish?

JOHN: (christ.)

MEENAH: meefish?

JOHN: no, i know that’s not your name.

JOHN: jesus christ. i’m sorry.

MEENAH: its meenah

JOHN: right. meenah.

JOHN: um.

JOHN: have you by any chance seen jade around?

MEENAH: who da fuck is jade

JOHN: well...

JOHN: she’s...

JOHN: i dunno.

JOHN: i mean, REALLY?

JOHN: you don’t know jade?

MEENAH: why the fuck you suppose im tight with some random ass ho

JOHN: jade’s like, a big deal?

JOHN: i thought you were kind of important too?

MEENAH: you didnt even know my name dog

JOHN: ugh.

JOHN: wait a minute.

JOHN: do you even know MY name?

MEENAH: uhhh

JOHN: this is a two way street you know.

MEENAH: nah

JOHN: nah, what?

JOHN: so you don’t know it?

MEENAH: like

MEENAH: joke?

MEENAH: joke somefin

JOHN: no!

JOHN: it’s john.

JOHN: joke is my biological father.

JOHN: i mean JAKE!

JOHN: jake is his name.

JOHN: dammit.

JOHN: alright, we’re veering off course.

JOHN: jade is my sister.

JOHN: i think she’s still out here, somewhere.

JOHN: have you seen her?

MEENAH: na man

JOHN: man i...

JOHN: i just didn’t expect everything to go to shit so fast.

MEENAH: thats how the shit alwaves goes

JOHN: yeah, i guess.

JOHN: so... never mind jade. have you seen...

JOHN: any OTHER survivors? like, anyone at all?

MEENAH: nope

MEENAH: i aint moved from this floatin hunger trunk lookin piece of shit since i got my bass kicked

JOHN: well, you’re the first i’ve seen too.

MEENAH: oh

JOHN: so what’s your plan now?

MEENAH: plan

JOHN: yeah.

JOHN: you just gonna hang around here, in the middle of nowhere, doing nothing forever?

MEENAH: thats what ghosts is most good at aint they

JOHN: you don’t have to stay here.

JOHN: i can take you back with me, to my planet.

JOHN: i mean, after we’re done looking for more survivors.

MEENAH: naaah

JOHN: why not?

MEENAH: ok for one thing genius

MEENAH: im dead

MEENAH: i wont even last on your planet ill just like

MEENAH: fade away or some shit

MEENAH: i dont know what happens to ghosts in real places actually but ima guess it goes somefin like that

JOHN: oh yeah.

JOHN: whoops, i forgot.

MEENAH: anyway while you was floatin there i came up with my own plan

JOHN: what is it?

MEENAH: cmere

MEENAH: gonna whisper it to you

JOHN: uh, ok.

MEENAH: (nerd)

MEENAH: reel cute you wanna be my savior blue boy

MEENAH: but the fact is you already helped me out

MEENAH: got everyfin i need from you

MEENAH: sea ya round sucker! 38)

JOHN: wait a...

JOHN: minute...

JOHN: wait a fucking MINUTE!

JOHN: fuck!

[nightwatch-ithaqua]

oh, our discord is raihansofficialboywife if thats .. reassuring (?) for you. .. dont say anything about the username, i know its silly but its personal for us so just dont question it lmao . again i dont really have any interest in moving this over there but im.. sure youre well aware of that by now hm?

we have the inner voice thing, kind of. im not really sure if thats actually even what it really is, but we can talk to each other without saying anything outloud, headspace or otherwise. ("i think thats just telepathy" - luca .. true, but still lol..) admittedly sometimes i miss my old bodies, but i think the one i have now is pretty nice. i dont really have a solid form, i kind of change tiny things about my appearance constantly even when i dont mean to, but mostly i latch onto whatever im presenting as at the moment with my own things added, some of them are surprisingly consistent between forms, like my fucked up eye whcih is why i have the x as that eye in the little emoticon thingies (x_o <- those) .. i like having my own little typing related things that are specific to me because theyre tied to my personal appearance in headspace, its a nice special comfort. andrew does it too, he puts little bunny ears on the sides of all his kaomojis.

i could talk a lot about my headspace appearance, because i personally find it very interesting .. but i also am very much a narcissist (npd holder, along with.. just being incredibly self absorbed and otherwise narcissistic by definition even outside of the pd, hahah) so i personally find every little tidbit about myself to be utterly fascinating.

man thats fuckin awful, im sorry that shit happened to yall. like.. i cannot express enough how genuinely insane that is..? and excuse my language in referring to it.. just. lord. it still disturbs me to this day how malicious people can be for no real reason greater than for the sake of it. how i wish it was just humans but i suppose every being is unfortunately prone to that ill natured behaviour ..

thats a really crazy coincidence in all honesty лол. i forgot how exactly i started using it for myself, i think it started as an aesthetic thing to go along with an old layout of a blog i dont use anymore, and then i started using it as signoffs in asks and just.. got attached, and started using it for myself in general. we even use it for ourselves as a collective now, its been in our discord status and bio for like.. a month or two i think? maybe three. were really bad with time perception so i couldnt give a very good estimation if i tried.

🪷

No no it's okay, we don't need your discord but I am thankful you were at least open. While we are on discord far more frequently we should be talking where you're comfortable. Where both of us are comfortable.

And yes, I believe telepathy is very common in the headspace so I'm not too surprised it's not just us. It's funny too, because while we don't have a fucked up eye, we often feel like we do. It's so strange and I think almost like phantom feeling, like having a phantom limb except it's more of a phantom scar we can't explain. Of course we're not going to be dumb like those "trans-abled" people and fuck up our eye just because we think it would feel right, that's just stupid. (it's our left eye)

And yeah we know what you mean, having little things helps a lot. We have a hood with ears on it but it's got paws attached too. The ears are fixed upright but it's a black hood. Still, we love it and we're glad we have it.

We love our self absorbed alters /hj

No okay for some odd reason our brain tends to latch onto alters that tend to have more self-absorbed personalities. Does this go for all of our alters? of course not. But Edgar Valden, Bob Aken (Obake), Me and the multiple doubles we have of each. But then we also have our Andrew and Aesop doubles and they aren't self absorbed so much as they just prefer their space. It's so strange how our system works. Systems are fascinating tbh.

And yeah, it was just beyond fucked up. It was ridiculous and even when we tried to move someplace else they followed us over. It's just.. such drama. The idv fandom is really fucked up in general. Already a few servers we've come forward on have either been hostile towards us or have actually infantalized me. And I mean waving images of baby keys in my face level and "feeding me meat and rice."

Frankly our status will not hold that emoji forever. We actually.. have no clue why it's even still there lmao. We just put it there one day and never changed it. Time perception is hard fr.

[perpetually-sad-but-its-fine]

10x15 of chicago pd

already loving this

kev stopping along the way to (kinda) flirt with those girls?

i wish that were me

‘ive been told that jordan is a more legit teacher than i am’

‘that he is’

domestic daughter!makayla and father!adam with uncle!kevin and cousin!jordan????

loving it

AHHHH

MAKAYALA 

SHES SO CUTE

‘appointment’

THERAPYYYY

YAYYYYYY

KIMS GETTING THE HELP SHE NEEDS

adam and kevin are great father figures

‘hopped off of candy and chaos’

we love that for her

UNCLE KEVIN

ITS CANON

OH MY GOD

YES

oh lovely

now comes crime

‘bodies?’ *deep sigh*

great

this'll be fun

oh joy

all dead

yay

so fun

*kicks open the door with zero hesitation*

yay

poisoned?

oh meth

yay

droogz

fun

HAILEYYYY

TORRESSSSSS

god i love them

samantha beck???

oh joy

lovely

poor family

yay

a drug ring

fun

yay

surveillance

i love the voiceovers

so much

they're so cool

thE COMBINED VOICEOVERS OF EVERYBODY

OH I LOVE IT SO MUCH

ITS SO COOL

oh no adam

dont do something to get yourself killed

oh joy

fake mugging

and now guns

oop who were they

oh damn

bro

this is giving me so much anxiety

hes using his real name????

bro why

whatever happened to jim

or ryan

what were his UC names again??

oh lovely

adam

careful

this is scaring me

adAMMMM

CAREFULLLL

PLEASE

oh lovely kid

cute

love how adam bonds with kids

its adorable

UGH

ADAM

CAREEFULLLLLL

bro this is so fuckung scaryyy

‘you won't get to leave’

brO

THIS SOME SORT OF CULT OR SOMETHING???

god

now i want samantha to be careful

cuz the way that this is gonna go

shes prolly gonna get killed

‘will this make you happy’

???

what does he mean by that

oh joy

are the gonna kill someone????

oH SHIT

WAIT

ARE THEY GONNA KILL THEM???

im scared

jesus

a knife

oh god

oh god

oH

GOD

WAIT

IS THAT GUY JUST GONNA STAND OVER THER AND WATCH?????

WHAT

NO

DONT

DO NOT MOVE

DO NOT

oh thank god

that the lord

brO

YOU WERE JUST WATCHINGGGGG

SERIOUSLY??

dude’s unbothered

‘dude are you okay?’

he just got beat up

but im curious to know what's happening between samantha and her dad

awww

kim checking up on adam???

i love it

my babies

please

let them be happy

is there flirting???

is thiS FLIRTING???

heart??

why heart???

oh for her son

bro

whats happening

oH SHIT

OH MY GOD

HES USING HIS GRANDSON FOR MOVING DRUGS???

adam standing there like an npc

love to see it

oh hes gonna follow her

adam

careful

please

careful

dont do something stupid

dont get yourself killed

istfg adam

please

oH MY GOD

I FUCKING KNEW IT

what did he say to her?????

WHY DID SHE JUST WALK OFFF

ADAM

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST

WHAT IS THIS

‘neo-nazi’

fun

waIT WHAT

HITLER YOUTH KNIFE????

what the fuck

what is happening??

oh white supremacist

joy

lovely

ugh

gross

oh god

this convo

sO MUCH

ANGST

aw

wait

no

stop

hurt

feels

‘our daughter’

FUCK YOU

STOP HURTING ME

ITS SO SWEET

AND I LOVE IT

BUT THERES ALSO SO MUCH PAIN

I WANT MACKAYLA CALLING ADAM DAD

AWWW

‘you were not supposed to catch me’

awwwwwwww

‘do you want me to get you ice?’

EEEKKK

LET HER CALL HIM DAD

‘no i want you to go to sleep’

such a dad response

AWWWW

stopp

i love them

thE HAND HOLDING

HE KISSED HER HAND

HE KISSED HIS DAUGHTER’S HAND

‘what the hell is he doing?’

that's a good question kev

nobody knows

WHY WOULD YOU SAY MACKAYLA’S NAME

WHY WOULD YOU DO THZT???

WHAT IF SHE FiNDS OUT WHO YOU ARE???

adam

careful

pleaseeeeee

dont do something stupid

hES GONNA DO SOEMTHING STUPID

oh samantha beck’s dad

lovely

i dont like him

at all

‘i dont like this’

you and me both kim

you and me both

stop being a pessimist kim

you have valid concerns

but still

dont voice them

oh a shooting range

joy

um

what is this??

is this like shovel talk

to the next level???

yea

shovel talk

great

oh lovely tattoo

this is disgusting

like a whole ‘nother level

oh gross

dont like this

dont like this AT ALL

killer aim

lovely

hes a sociopath

adam always wearing two hoodie

why

interesting fashion choice

why do i feel like this is a setup

this is a set up

i can feel it

oh my god

callum’s been taken

this is a fuckin set up

i can feel it

adam

shes gonna make you

please

be careful

torres

dont do something stupid

oh my god wait

jesus wait

its not a set up???

wait

adam

careful

what the fuck is happening

meth lab??

in her basement??

wait something else??

is callum there??

OH MY GOD

what's he doing down there???

whA T IS HA P P EN I N G

SOMEONE TELL MEE

WHAT THE FUCK IS THISSSSSSSS

wha t is t h is??

good god

this is so much

too much

this is so depressing

god i feel like samantha’s gonna fall for adam or some shit like that

does the team know that youre here adam??

do. THEY. KNOW???

god

samantha

stop 

with those bedroom eyes

am i reading into it???

wait

this is so much bigger than i thought

the end???

what??

what's happening

what did she mean by the end

dont

dont end the episode

GOD FUCKIN DAMMIT

[silvyavan]

If Asta is Astaroth's human reincarnation, I would want it to be used purely for comedic purposes, ESPECIALLY if Asta looked exactly like his past life but just with grey hair and no wrinkles.

Like, the comedic value of, if Asta had black hair would be top dollar

Chapter 1:

Liebe: damn, its noisy as fuck outside the grimoire today, who's-

Asta: *yelling and struggling, punching Revchi*

Liebe: IS THAT THE FUCKING TIME DEVIL-

----------

Witch forest arc:

Vanessa: I'll come back to work under you but only if you heal Asta's arms

Witch queen: sure, bring in the little shit

Asta, black hair and bandaged arms, mad as hell: DONT YOU DARE TRY TO ENSLAVE VANESSA-

Witch queen, who made a deal with the time devil centuries ago to help him develop a way to become human in exchange for unlimited power, found a lady that volunteered and hasn't heard from him since the completion: ( ⊙   ⊙ )

Vanessa: ngl, I don't like the look on your face.

Witch Queen: Vanessa, blessed child of mine, can we talk mom to daughter in private because there seems to be a fucking problem here.

--------

Elf reincarnation:

Zagred: lmao, who goes- WHAT THE FUCK-

Asta: HUH?

Zagred:... do NOT HARASS ME,,, I have PERMISSION to be here,,, from the KING,,, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT-

Asta: ??? QUIT ATTACKING THE CAPITAL THEN??? I HAVE THE RIGHT OF SELF DEFENCE???? TO BEAT YOUR ASS???

Liebe in the grimoire, knowing that it's gonna be the same shit with Asta looking like the time devil misunderstanding but with more violence:

-----------

Spade arc:

Lucifero: the fuck, why is Astaroth here???

Dante: Astaroth??? Big Brother's Contracted devil??? Isn't he supposed be in the Underworld??? After the successful devil deal???

Lucifero: HE SHOULD BE. BUT HE'S NOT. HE'S FUCKING AROUND HERE, APPARENTLY.

Dante:... are we SURE it's him? He seems kinda... human with no memories and magicless?

Lucifero: oh this motherfucker turned himself human at the price of his magic. Istg, only Astaroth would pull shit like this.

Dante: HUH???

-------

Zenon upon seeing Asta: ALLEN???

Beelzebub: ASTAROTH??? HE'S NOT DEAD???

Zenon: ??? BIG BROTHER'S DEVIL CONTRACTOR DIED???

-------

Ralph: Lord Yuno, I beg of you with my whole heart, please do not hang around that antimagic boy anymore

Yuno, assuming Ralph is pulling some homophobia/classicism stunt, lying through his teeth: antimagic boy? You mean Asta, my BELOVED rival, with whom I had made a lifelong promise? Whom I will become wizard king with together?

Ralph: Lord Yuno, that knight looks exactly like the fucking time devil if I've ever seen him, I am BEGGING you-

-------

Lucifero: *kills Licita* lol, what are you gonna do?

Liebe, 17 years later, taking Asta's hand in demon pact of frienship/marriage/vengeance:

*3 days later*

Lucifero: give me back Astaroth 🔪

Liebe: lol, gimme back Licita then 🔪🔪🔪

Asta: ??? Who the HELL are we talking about???

[thefanficmonster]

idk if u know him but i just found out that technoblade has cancer and now im really sad but it did get me a lil curious to see a small corpse x reader scenario or headcanons where reader announces they have cancer in the midst of playing with corpse and their friends on stream?

Sorry for the long wait dear but here is your request finally fulfilled. Because of my long queue I decided to go for headcanons and I hope you don't mind. If you want a full fic of this concept don't hesitate to let me know ~ XOXO, Vy 💕

Streamer gang & Reader (Gender Neutral)

TW: Mentions of suffering from cancer, Mentions of hospital visits and hospital treatment

- You had been running late for the stream you and the crew had arranged a few days prior - Because of certain problems with the system at you hospital, you had to attend your appointment that day instead of the day before, the timing clashing a bit with the timing of the stream - You sent Rae a quick text that you'd be late for the event, hoping she wouldn't ask why - And luckily she didn't - Truth be told, it's not like you were going to extreme lengths to hide your illness, you just didn't want you friends seeing you differently - Still, however, you were planning to tell them sooner or later - You always made up scenarios in your head of how it would go and only in a few were your news accepted lightly - You hated that you had to risk all those other, far less fortunate alternatives, but it was what it was and you had zero control of how they’d react so you were practically helpless in that field - That being said, you just let out a sigh every time your mind started going down that route - “Hey guys, sorry I’m late. The hospital messed up my appointment which was supposed to be YESTERDAY. So shout out to them, you guys suck. Just kidding, y’all keep me alive.” - Your friends chuckled at your comment, paying no mind to it as anything but a joke - “Time you switch hospitals then.” Toast nudges you jokingly - “Oh trust me, bro, that would be hella more complicated than just making appointments in my local one. All my paperwork, records, medical history, everything’s there. I can just about imagine how much of it would be lost if I moved.” - Corpse scoffs, amused, “Damn, you make it sound like you’re in and out of the hospital more than I am.” - You playfully roll your eyes even though he can’t see me, “Yeah, well having cancer does that to a person.” - The call goes quiet for a few moments, making you think back to what you just said, turning pale as a ghost, all you blood running cold - “Fuck-” Corpse is the first one to speak up, “That’s fucking horrible.” - “Why didn’t you tell us?” Rae follows him up, voice equally as concerned as Corpse’s, both of them clearly rattled by your confession - As is the rest of the game lobby - You fidget with your hands, your eyes stinging with sudden hot tears that are threatening to spill but you refuse to let them - The last thing you were expecting when imagining the aforementioned scenarios was crying - You thought you had come to terms with it long ago to the point where you can even joke about it but turns out you were wrong - “I-” You begin to speak but stutter because of the knot in your throat, “I didn’t want you guys to...pity me or see me any differently. I-..I wouldn’t be able to stand even you treating me like I’m fragile and overthinking everything you say in my presence.” - Your response is answered by another moment of silence before your racing mind is put to a slight ease by Corpse’s voice travelling through your headset - “Nothing will change, Y/N.” He says, tone still shaky but at least steadier than before, “You’re still the most badass impostor among us.” He pauses, “Pun was not intended, but I truly mean it.” - “Yeah, you’re still the same and so are we, this changes nothing.” Toast says reassuringly. - “However!” Rae interrupts, causing your heart to drop, “Do you promise to never again keep us in the dark about things going on in your life? We’re your friends and we wanna be there for you, don’t keep our hands tied.” - Your heart rose and dropped yet again but did so under the effect of a completely different emotion than before - joy - The tears prickling your eyes are now happy tears, ones you hadn’t let out in years - “I promise.” You say with a sniffle, “And one more thing...” - “Yeah?” Corpse says - “Thank you.”

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[tomdiddlyumptious]

Heyyy ok but what about dad!tom finding porn on his 15yo boy’s phone and having "the talk" with him 😭😭 I live for this😌

Trying writing again, seriously guys idk whats going on with me. And im terrible at doing “the talks” so take it as it is-

warnings: ya know..porn and praying children<3...and a hint of bisexual!tom👀

Its normal, Porn. The dirty sight for anyone to see. Tom did it once, only once though. He found it pretty creepy and stalkerish that hes watching people have sex. When he was 15 and thought about sex it caused insecurity because he noticed that you HAVE to get naked. It just shivered his veins. well of course until he met you. 

So when Tom and Wesley were cooking for your birthday, Tom forgot an Ingredient. “Hey- wes, can i borrow your phone?” tom struggled, his hands covered in flour as he looked at his sons phone. Wesley's eyes widened as his hands were also covered in flour, he turned, wiping his hands on the black apron before chuckling “y-yeah dad”. Tom laughed and also wiped his hands with a towel before grabbing his phone. Wes’s knees almost gave out as they shook and his body felt like it was going down a roller coaster, he jumped when his dad asked for his code. “Its my birthday” “oh- of course, it is” tom mumbled, leaning on the kitchen island as Wes got back to work, trying not to look weird as normally he would stand over his dads shoulder watching his fingers tap away in his phone, not that he did it before. 

Toms eyebrows furrowed as he bit his bottom lip, wondering if he should search through his phone while he already has it, only to shrug his head no saying thats not a good thing for a father to do. He clicked on the safari tab, Wes’s phone acting slow so he reached and grabbed his glass cup thats filled with water, only to choke and have his eyes widened. “Oh shit” wes mumbled to himself. Tom didnt even look further, he slammed the phone down but both of their ears turned red when a loud pornographic moan left the womans mouth “yeah fuck my cock”. “OH MY GOD” tom yelled in his british accent, grabbing the phone and screaming when he was met with liquids shooting at the camera, he shut off the phone and placed it back on the table, Wesley's hand slapped over his mouth as he cringed intensely by the word “cock” but then soon becoming more embarrassed that his dad knows he watches….well, that. “Im gonna use the bathroom” wesley said, not looking at his dad as his cheeks shot red. “Erm….im gonna set a 15 minute timer” “DAD” wes said storming off to the bathroom. “Im gonna die” wesley muttered to himself, cursing at the lord for letting this happen as he also begged for forgiveness and asking for this not to be a big problem, just on his knees infront of the toilet, apron still dirty as he shut his eyes tight. 

“God i swear if my dad leaves me alone i’ll pray EVERY night, i’ll sing- look i’ll sing this church song”

By the way, he only heard it from some where.

“Take me to the kinggg, i dont have much to bring” he didnt know anything past that so it didnt do anything in his favour, it only made tom furrow his eyebrows from the other side of the door before knocking making wes silently flinch at the holy ghost “just please- dont do this” he whispered. “I-i can hear you son” tom awkwardly smiled, “mind coming out now?” “ive only been in here for like 5 minutes” “can we just talk about it?” “i dont know if id be comfortable with that-” “or else it will be with me and your mom” “oh my god” wes stood up and did a “woo-sah” looking at himself in the mirror before turning around and hesitantly opening the door. Tom smiled and did an awkward wave “to the couch please”

“Dad i really dont wanna talk about this” wes said on the couch, touching knees with his father that was sitting right next to him. “No we have to- so be quiet and let me speak.” tom sent a look at wes making him grumble and hunch in his seat, but all ears. “Please dont watch porn, its terrible. Its addictive and its not how things work, trust me. When we made you it was pretty ugly in there-”

“DAD PLEASE” he groaned in his arms. “What! Im just letting you know! Im letting you know that when you- or you probably have but-” tom shrugged looking at him son. “Just make sure you use protection, uhm if you want me to buy you some i can- dont give me that look” “your literally talking to me about what goes around penises, what am i supposed to do, say i love you?” he groaned again. “Well its your fault! But anyway you need to make sure you get consent from her, make sure she- or HE is into it-” “oh my god” “what? I dont know your options?” “what are yours?” wes asked.

Tom smiled at his son, making wes’s mouth drop (i dont think its a secret that toms at least a LITTLE fruity) “anyways. Girls have three holes, ones for the pee and the others for the- pp. And the other one is for the other one. I dont think your ready for anal yet” tom gripped his sons knee. “Youve done-” “you ARENT ready for that talk” tom but him off. “But you need to make sure that the woman is lubricated enough because if she isnt it will be TOO tight and un-pleasurable for the both of you. If shes” he raised his fingers doing the quote on quote “loose, that means shes lubricated, dont listen to these assholes shaming girls for something they cannot control” he rolled his eyes, wes thinking about anything to drift off into space but very stuck. “Dont be nervous asking for help trying to find the hole, although it should be located right on top of her- ya know” tom too immature to say the word, something he cant say although he said only a few words ago. “But yes, make sure you wrap it! Im serious, i dont need more children” tom ordered. “Im the single child” “your also annoying” wes sarcastically smiled at his dad by his words. “Her clitoris is that- bean, yeah lets call it a bean” “you call a clitoris a bean?” “oh no, i give it a name more...boujee, but thats between me and your mom” “PLEASE STOP REMINDING ME THAT YOU AND MOM HAVE SEX” wes shouted while stuffing his head into a pillow. “What its normal! You were watching it!” wes grunted “my life is over” “oh it hasnt even began” “DAD” “im just sayin!-”

The boys heard the keys jiggle from the door before hearing a loud “hii!” “we are in the living room babe!” tom said, wes panicking more as he heard th door shut and lock before seeing his mom coming over. “What are you guys talking about?” tom looked at wes and wes silently pleaded for him not to say anything, but being the div he is “sex talk!” he threw his hands up. “Ohh! How fun, have you told him about the movements yet?” “PLEASE NO-”

[sharknadoslutt]

Not that I ever wanted to watch it because of the era it plays in, but what was so awful about Star Wars resistance?

Oh Okay this ask got me GOING so Welcome to my Tedtalk on my feelings on Star Wars Resistance; a story of Disappointment.

So Mr. Dave Filoni, the story telling Prince, left the show like halfway through production of the first season for other projects (For TCW season 7 and The Mandalorian). This left what was a promising show with characters Dave himself had created, in the hands of very inexperienced story board artist and writers. Personally, I think they panicked and half assed it so that Disney could make money on toys. Because.. idk. It just doesn't even come close to the emotional story arcs that TCW and Rebels gave us. and that's what Star Wars is supposed to be about. Changing for the better. Hope or some shit, am I right?

What was most disappointing in my opinion.. is that the protagonist, Kazudo Xiono, is UNBEARABLE. He is the EMBODIEMENT of privilege. This punk has had everything handed down to him from the moment he was born. He was born like 14 years after the Empire has been brought down and the New Republic reigns, so he has never known war. AND HIS DADDY IS THE SENATOR OF HOSNIAN PRIME FOR FUCKS SAKE! THE CAPITOL????? WHERE THE SENATE IS???? YOU KNOW HOW RICH THAT MUST MAKE HIs FaMiLY??? His dad literally gives him an allowance even though he is a grown ass man in the military when the show starts.

To put things into perspective for those not up to date on Sequel Era Lore and I envy you greatly tbh bcs not to be that person i do not like the sequels that's the equivalent of being the Senator of Coruscant in the Prequels!!!!

Not to mention he is a BUMBLING idiot. Like. This man has ADHD on steroids. As a person with ADHD it's.. lord, it's cringe. He is clumsy. He is loud. He says inappropriate things at the wrong time. He doesn't know how to do anything for himself. AND HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SPY FOR THE RESISTANCE UNDER COVER AS A MECHANIC???? HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT MECHANICS and really doesn't really learn anything about it by the time the show ends. And don't come at me saying this is a kids show so I cant complain about things being silly bcs I'm not the target audience. I can and I will bcs no one was NEARLY this obnoxious in TCW or Rebels. Kaz is Jarjar Level, but I ACTUALLY LIKE JARJAR!

DUDE IS A DAMN SPY HE DOESNT EVEN LIKE GO BY AN ALLIAS!!! HE DEADASS USES HIS REAL FULL NAME. BCS KAZ IS AN IDIOT.

I'm not saying he isn't a good person. Kaz is very sweet tbh. He's just an unknowing spoiled ass man-child who NEVER REALLY DEVELOPS INTO ANYTHING ELSE?????

It would be okay if he entered the show like this and exited a more mature, capable man. But he really doesn't. There are never any consequences for his actions. Ever. Other than when he becomes a spy and, again, IS USING HIS REAL LEGAL NAME as a spy for the Resistance... to avoid a scandal and to scold him for LITERALLY DESERTING THE NAVY his daddy cuts him off from his allowance. So instead of half assing his cover job as a mechanic, Kaz has to actually apply himself so he can make money for food. He doesn't improve much. His co-workers (Who are MUCH more interesting than him) constantly complain about him messing things up and making their jobs more difficult.

Man, FUCK KAZ. MY HOMIES HATE KAZ. BEING HOT CAN ONLY GET YOU SO FAR!!!!!

At the Season one finale there is a moment where you think he is finally going to grow as a man! Grow into the protagonist we deserve! Tragedy, for the first time in his life, strikes Kaz! It's during the events of episode 7, when The First Order blows up Hosnian Prime. His home planet. Where his FATHER LIVES. He has a moment of humanity and he is devastated. He almost cries. But he sucks it up to finish the mission and get his friends off base for their safety. He is a man now. and the audience feels a sense of comradery for Kaz. After all, Star Wars is about Fathers. Kaz has lost his father forever. His father was KILLED by the First Order. He now, first hand, has experienced real loss for the first time and this is going to help him grow and toughen up. he has to live on his own now. Our hero has a reason to be doing what he's doing. Fighting against the first order.

BUT NAH. FAM. then the very next fucking EPISODE YOU FIND OUT HIS DAD IS FUCKING ALIVE AND THAT HE DIDNT ACTUALLY EXPEIRENCE THE LOSS THAT HE HAD THOUGHT, AND HE GOES RIGHT BACK TO BEING HIS GOOFY ASS CHILDISH SELF. NO. I HATED THAT. THERE WAS NO REASON FOR GROWTH. MAN FUCK RESISTANCE.

FUCK. IF ANYONE DESERVED THEIR FATHER TO LIVE THROUGH A DAMN PLANETORY DESTRUCTION IT WAS MY GIRL LEIA, NOT FUCKING KAZUDO THE CLOWN XIONO. FUCK. guys I'm sorry I just really hate this god damn character.

Like. Lemme break it down, folks.

TCW started and Ahsoka enters. I HATED Ahsoka for a long time. Bcs she was young, cocky and annoying. But that was on purpose. Narratively, she experiences loss, she experiences pain and GROws as a character while navigating her Jedi life during the war. Our girl grows into the capable protagonist that we EXPECT out of a Star Wars story.

Same for Rebels. We meet Ezra, and he's not quite as annoying as Ahsoka was at first in my opinion (I cannot stress how much I did not care for Ahsoka yall) but he was young. He was childish. But he was more capable at 14 than fucking Kaz was at 20. By the end of Rebels, not only is he more wise and capable, but he is selfless. He has found his own path and it's only because of what he has gone through. His journey has made him stronger. Ezra is my favorite Star Wars journey, if I'm being honest. He is the perfect example of character development.

KAZUDO XIONO ENTERS SEASON ONE AS A 20 YEAR OLD MAN-CHILD USING DADDY'S MONEY WHO IS LOUD AND DOESNT KNOW WHEN THE STFU... AND EXITS THE FINALE... AS A LOUD MAN-CHILD WHO CAN NOW USE TOOLS. He doesn't' experience REAL FAMILIAL loss. He doesn't really experience a lot of character development at all. Things just happen around him, he helps, but he doesn't learn. He doesn't grow. I fucking hate that.

Literally every single character in the show BESIDEs Kaz is more interesting than him. and EXPEIRENCE CHARACTER GROWTH!!!

Jarek Yeager, Kaz's boss in the mechanic shop, was in the Rebellion and LOST HIS FAMILY. He is a sexy ass man too. HE starts the show not wanting to help the Resistance at all bcs he's experienced loss since his days in the Rebellion, and his heart is hard and he's comfortable. By the end of the show he is risking not just his career, but his VERY LIFE to help the Resistance.

Tam Ryvora, Kaz's co-worker. Daughter figure to Yeager and a total bad ass woman of color. She is the one on the show who experiences the most character development and struggles to find her identity while the First Order is taking over the galaxy. I LOVE her.

There are these 2 kids who are force sensitive and orphaned after Kylo Ren comits GENOCIDE on their planet. This arc set up is never fully addressed nor does it have a conclusion, like most story arcs on this show tbh.

There's a literal witch for some reason??

There's this fucking rad ass sexy Mirilian Pirate girl named Synara who FOR SOME REASON is suggested to be Kaz's love interest. Gross. Girl, you gay. Move in.

I could go on and on and on. But I wont. Fuck this show. Fuck Kaz. It literally adds NOTHING to the bigger Star Wars lore. TCW and Rebels do this beautifully and this show is a hot mess of ideas and characters that never come to a satisfying story telling conclusion.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk, dont watch Resistance.