#i have deadlines and yet here i am
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waking up in a world where Resplendent Grima is finally real, life is good
#Feh#feheroes#fire emblem heroes#grima#I AM STILL GOING FERAL YALL#HOLY SHIT!!!!!!#currently have to finish up some deadline work so I don't have alot of time to draw YET but once I'm done with that it's over for you guys#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH#Basically this post is just here to have me simp on main#I have waited for this for YEARS I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT
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Eyes on me – an interactive whump story. Part 2.
Previous part. Masterpost. Next part.
Content warning: institutionalized slavery, imprisonment, dehumanizing language, it/its for an unhuman whumpee, pet whump.
"In folklore, any mythical, magical creature is commonly called 'fey'," they book that Lord Teelo had ordered after returning to the inn room said. "It is, of course, a wide misconception that is not accepted in any theory that has even an ounce of respect for itself. Fey is not just another way to say "magical", but a registered phenomenon different from a spirit, a magic-infused animal or a demon, and especially has nothing to do with tiny folk with wings, whose existence is widely refuted…"
It went on and on, an irritatingly salty response siting some previous debates and calling out authors the lord had never heard about. It could be entertaining in its own right – Lord Teelo was anything but impartial to loud grudges and decades old arguments – if not for his lack of experience with the topic rendering the details tedious and the fact that it wasn't idle interest that led him to seeking out the book.
The papers had been signed in half an hour, the impressive sum of money changing hands as the decision had been finalized at the spot. The arrangements had been made immediately after to transport the creature to the lord's summer house. It was to spend its last night at the auction house, and then, in the morning, they would ride – Lord Teelo in his usual carriage and his new property in an impressive cage – towards its new home.
The thrill of the purchase was sure to keep the lord awake, and he decided to spend the time on research. Learning about the kind of thing that came into his possession was paramount – after all, he didn't want it to die before its time because of his ignorance.
"Fey is defined by any reputable source as an otherworldly creature. It does not come with as many defined characteristics as an unsoundly educated person would believe: a creature from another dimension does not have to have wings and three pairs of limbs, though it is not out of the realm of possibility. A fey can look exactly as your regular cattle. The one thing that makes it fey is that it is not from the reality we live in."
The text wasn't very useful. In the two chapters Lord Teelo had managed before throwing the book into his bag and settling in bed, there was an infuriatingly little amount of actual, useful advice. The further he read, the more sure he was: he would have to figure things out by himself.
It was the thrill that came with owning the never before seen creature, one he wasn't even sure was from the same world, one, if it wasn't, that would catch the interest and desire for experiments by mages all over the world.
Now that he thought about it, maybe he should get into contact with a few. Their insight would be valuable either way – the lord was doubtful that the rainbow marks on the creature's skin could be the result of anything but magic, and magic tended to come with complications he wasn't confident he could deal with by himself.
Getting in contact with the sailors who caught the thing was a good idea, too. He'd already asked for the name of their ship and drafted a letter to a good old acquaintance in Froien. She would get the information to him in no time, even if he'll definitely have to show the creature to her afterwards. Keya, as he knew her, was curious beyond all else. Lord Teelo couldn't wait to see her face and the faces of his other acquaintances when they saw the kind of prize he'd gotten. The images of their amazement and barely hidden jealousy made him giddy with anticipation.
He wanted to make the most out of the day, and so was up and in the back garden of the auction house barely an hour after sunrise, despite the morning chill finding its way to his very bones through the layers of fabrics and furs he'd donned. A cart made into a cage with thick iron bars – provided with the purchase, of course, and with how much he'd paid Lord Teelo would be personally offended if it wasn't – was hurriedly readied and brought to the doors of the building.
The sounds of clattering and clinging and human voices burst through the open door before the creature was dragged out. It was the size of a northern wolf, bound and twisted and carried by two cautious servants. It craned its neck and bared its teeth through the muzzle, a wild animal, a scared one, and if not for the lines running down its skin and the weirdly human-like hands – with thumbs even if they were too long to actually be human – Lord Teelo would have taken it for nothing more than a dumb beast. Then it opened its mouth as wide as it could and let out a whole string of sounds – low and guttural and constantly repeating in patterns that made the lord think that it was trying – no, saying something in an unfamiliar, alien language.
He felt his pulse high in his throat, watching the creature as it was pushed inside the cage, chains around its limbs secured and the door locked behind. It kicked and threw itself against the metal only to settle back a moment later, too smart to waste energy on a fight it couldn't win.
And then, it noticed him.
Lord Teelo thought it recognized him – or maybe it was a wishful thinking fueled by the way it stilled and stared and then craned its neck to the side and forward, baring fangs in a display that was chilling even despite the binds. The unblinking yellow of its eyes pierced right through him.
He felt goosebumps creeping up his arms but refused to acknowledge it. He was safe, he reminded himself. It was tied up and helpless. No matter how it bared its teeth and tried to look scary, he was the master.
He stepped forward, lifting a hand up to place at the edge of the cart. The creature glanced at it, then continued staring. The lord smiled, "Hello there."
The creature growled and then said something. Lord Teelo continued soothingly, "No need to be so tense. We'll get to know each other -- you'll get used to me in no time."
In the light of the starting day, its skin didn't look like that startling black he saw in the dim cell. It was more grayish – still dark, though, and still unnatural. The pattern of colorful lines didn't look any less striking. His fingers ached to touch it, to feel if its skin was rough under his touch or as human-like as some of its features were. As the black short fur framing its face and ending in the middle of its back in a sort of haircut. Fey, Lord Teelo thought fervently. It had to be one. It was too strange in some ways and too familiar in others. It had to be a creature from another world. What other explanation could there be?
"Lord Teelo?" A voice came from his side and soon he was regrettably distracted, finishing the transaction and discussing the details. Servants pulled a thick piece of fabric covering the cage from view. Lord Teelo dismissed the pang of regret at their actions, reminding that he was going to have months worth of time to play around with the new toy.
He wondered what it'd be like. How it'd act. Would it be able to learn the human tongue, or prove to be too dumb for it?
He wondered where it would live. And – ah, this was an urgent question, was it not? He should send a letter to make sure it was all taken care of by the time he arrived.
Updates every 7-10 days (depending on how much time I have and how obvious the poll result is)
@isikedmyself878, @fraugustends, @otterfrost, @fuchstastisch, @3-2-whump, @the-lone-youth
Tell me to be tagged in the new parts!
#I am experiencing a very adhd urge to excuse the fact i posted it late despite not even breaking the deadline i set for myself#for once i even have an actual excuse as funerals take a looooot of energy and time to organize and attend (im fine)#but anyway! here we go! the creature has won and I decided to write some elaboration over what “fey” means in the context of this universe#the title is still a placeholder. I am yet to come up with some proper way to call this story#i usually look at the plot to figure out the best name. but since it's interactive i can't do that!#so the placeholder will be here for a bit longer. will update everything once the story gets going and receives a proper title!#whump#whump writing#captivity whump#slavery whump#pet whump#inhuman whumpee#interactive whump#writing#interactive writing#series: eyes on me
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trying to get shit sorted out for fall semester but no one is back in office until it starts is. not ideal
#quil's unholy underworld#noticed something funky. probably because of all my transfer credits and doing multiple degree paths#which might? affect my scholarship#and i'm just like hey. how do I get this sorted out#but all the people I need to talk to and the people I need to fill out forms for me. are not in office#so I'm waiting to hear about this one class. and i'm scheduled with two other people for after the semester starts#and just sitting here like. sure hope there's no urgent deadlines for this#because like. i am an EXCELLENT student#i'm not gonna tone that one down I am. hands down. an exemplary student on all levels#if something in the system is weird it's because it doesn't understand what i'm doing#because I admittedly am doing things atypically. due to my major headstart and multiple disciplines#so the normal measures of progress and such. simply don't apply to what I'm doing#so I'd hate for it to get fucked up over that#it says I'm failing to make progress. and I'm like. i CAME here with 112 credits. i am doing 2.5 degree paths possibly 3#i have over a 4.0#whatever is causing that is. i am fully confident. wrong#but if I ignore it it could cause major headaches and problems#so I wanna fix it. but I CAN'T right now because the people I need aren't back yet!#so I just gotta sit with it! and I hate that!#i wanna get it fixed eorigjaeoirgaoewrng#i think there's two potential ways to fix it but either one i have to wait </3
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she had dreams 😪 she had ambitions 😭 she can't stick to a schedule to save her life 🤧
#flexible deadlines are my worst nightmare#this was after rescheduling the uploads twice already#I wanted to and technically could have been done with this part in august schedule wise if my brain didn't hate me#we are so close to the end of part 1 yet here I am with nothing more to post yet#it's not a lack of desire#my motivation to sit and pose is just nonexistent atm#so please bare with me#shut up megan
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I need to finally admit that I only have so much time to write and thus need to decide & commit to writing one particular thing instead of researching everything forever in the hopes that I will one day have time to write All the things. You have no idea how nuanced my internal discussions on the topic have gotten at this point, though. The next post will be a poll on what to write or post about first.
#blog meta#i have. information#and i need to distribute this information#because the fact other people can't seem to do research and think about it annoys me#but i also acknowledge that i have the advantage of an academic and scientific background (albeit not in the field yet)#as well as an upbringing that prioritized both those things + research skills and critical thinking#so the best thing to do? write clear and accessible overviews that are well-researched and have proper bibliographies#because a lot of those pop-sci articles are worse than half the unsubstantiated claims i see on here...#and i happen to have the dedication to sift through scientific articles in order to fight the misinformation AND make the topic approachabl#going to set myself a deadline of 1 week because otherwise i will not do it timely#i can spend months writing a thing if left to my own devices#and in that case it becomes very comprehensive indeed BUT it also becomes book-length and completely inaccessible :(#because no one is going to reblog a 30k explanation with 100+ sources and that is what it would end up being#i am an over-researcher and an over-writer if there ever was one#so i will prioritize keeping things short and doing them timely#as well as post concepts that are inherently shorter and less formal#the most bang for your buck so to speak#especially when it comes to maximizing helpfulness (since people will not read and spread it otherwise)#but some of the things I want to talk about are inherently more in-depth#okay. rambling in tags time is over
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the way we handle medical leave in the states even for people with good benefits is cruel
#the number of hoops i have to jump through. the way that my requirements for one surgery are apparently different from another surgery#even though there's nothing in the paperwork to indicate any need for that and the surgeries don't differ all that much#the way that they lost my initial letter and now i'm up against my deadline next week and they haven't even told me what day next week#so i'm worried that it's literally tomorrow#the way i am not receiving ANY pay for an entire month because of all the delays so i'm having to live off my savings#the way that every single person i've talked to has said something different about what is and isn't required#the way that for a lot of this i had to be navigating it while high on painkillers immediately post-surgery#the way that the group my employer contracts through has two different emails and names and flips between them constantly#the way that my healthcare provider does it differently than every other healthcare provider so i need special forms from them#instead of the leave group but then the leave group doesn't seem to accept the forms that they send#the way that the doctors office has seemed incredibly confused by my requests#the way that the ROI office told me they'd send over a completed form and never did#the way i literally don't even know who to call next to try and sort this out or if it's possible TO sort out#like i guess i'll call the leave group tomorrow and cry and beg for an extension. i guess i'll grovel bc it's the difference#of getting a few thousand dollars or not and i can't just be like oh well guess i won't get my short term disability pay#especially bc none of the hospitals have billed me yet and i'm getting scared bc i don't know what my ER bill is going to look like#bc they did xrays and a CT scan and they gave me a splint and a sling and a lot of drugs#so i do need the money. just sitting here like. idek what to do lmfao.#not tagging this bc i'm on desktop and i can't do the accent mark easily and idk where my phone is rn sorry
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Place your bets folks!! Will Vaughn finally start writing his comic script this week, or will he cave and start drafting his FAITH fanfic first??
#vaughn.txt#I need to start writing Angel Static Soon so I have time to actually Do My Thesis#however comma#faith the unholy trinity brainrot.#I have been making great progress with the AS outline and feel like I’m in a good spot to start the script with confidence#but also I don’t need to start the script Right Now. my deadline for myself with the script is May.#anyways so the fic is backstory + a canon retelling with all my headcanons and more character interactions and lore#all of my WIPs are so long and yet here I am with this novel-length fic concept.
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I really like writing poetry because it just feels like chasing down the random connections that occur between thoughts. This can also make it harder to write without a second opinion though because with that kind of process you're bound to run into struggles discerning whether these connections make sense outside of your own contexts.
But sometimes it's just fun to use phrases that only vaguely work together but sound really nice to say lol
#not sure dumping my poetry/poem wips here is a good idea yet but i felt like talking about it#poetry#ramblings#ive been working on this one collection project for quite a while now but unless i have a deadline i am molasses#i swear one of these days im just going to spitball words on a page and shove it at someone#writing
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auauwhahhqgwggfg. ow
#another day another not fecking doing anything for 8 or so hours#hm but i still have an hour and a half til i can go home#my hands hurt but i wanna keep drawing but if i do i am definitely spelling hell for myself#when will my compression gloves get here aaugh#and goddamn its been like two weeks or so since i started this and ive still yet to finish it. havent even gotten past lineart#not like theres a deadline im just doing this for fun but grrrrr#shaking past me why did you decide to draw four detailed fullbodies complete with the cherry blossom parasols#curse of loving lineart and details yet being completely exhausted doing them#wish my hands werent as fragile as they are 😔#rly like how its coming along so far though#so thats a plus i can enjoy the drawing process for once !!!
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#i think it’s bc of hormones and bc ive had no plans this weekend but I am way way way too in my head abt the boy like everything was fine#and i have lit never been so little stressed out by sb I’m dating BUT ive also never talked so little abt The Things That Matter To You w#sb ive let this close. and ik he’s rly busy and has all these crazy deadlines and work and goes on this uni trip abroad on wed so im sure#there is this very rational explanation for him not texting as much and often as he used to (it’s still like once a day idek what im doing#here) but like in my head he’s been on 15 other dates and realised his crush on me isn’t that strong after all like. this is ridiculous#but like. is it. i mean the way my brain is revving up yes absolutely but maybe it was stupid to invite him to my birthday party on tuesday#im literally. i……..idek i wanna tell him i miss him but we’re not at that stage yet ghbbdhsn#me#the american
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help i started a silly character doodle and now i’m neck deep in contemplating the interior design and aesthetics for a corridor that isn’t even relevant
#pherrie rambles#yes this is about the jedi temple next question#i had to draw. one (1) corridor#and i incidently sent myself down the LONGEST SPIRAL EVER#deadline tomorrow? oh well anyway here’s my full sketch page comparing window sizes#<- for stained glass reasons. you understand.#also (whispering) when i said deadlines i was so serious… i do not have time for personal art… and yet here i am… nooooot gooooood
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huuuuhhhh I'm brain-dead
#ramblings of a lunatic#it is..so frustrating to be in a reading/art slump when those r two of ur main hobbies. truly feels like the end of the world (im silly)#like I'm shuffling along here rn but i am. so worried about going back to school at the end of the week#i missed so many deadlines/had so many close calls this semester before break#AND I DIDN'T EVEN USE THE BREAK TO WRITE MY SCREEPLAY WHAT THEFFFUCK!!!#god. god.#college has mostly been really fun but also I'm so tired. I'm sooooo tired rn#in general that's where I'm at rn. the most intense thing i did today was make potato and leak soup and yet#i am still so tired#might have to do w/ the fact that it's like 00:20 rn#i should maybe get a snack..but mostly I should sleep
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I exist in this weird personality limbo where i somehow have so little sense of an individual self that that over time warped into. whatever this is. I have something going on here i'm sure but I am 99% sure that it's either indescribable or just very difficult to define beyond "Nice with an interesting sense of humour"
#talked to someone today and all I could think about after was how off that felt#the whole experience I mean#not the person I like the person#I was meant to sit alone in a room and do my own thing honestly that's what life keeps signaling to me#but I like being with people is the issue I enjoy being out and about it's a change of something it feels like the normal thing to do#i mean what normal teens get up to and all that it doesn't feel very normal to me but you understand#I enjoy doing stuff i can talk about afterwards is all I mean#but at the same time it's very...like...I know if I behaved off protocol right now you would not enjoy me#I have nothing of relevance to say I have a lot of half-knowledge nobody can actually do anything with#I'm a little dull but it works for me so i don't mind#but on protocol is literally just basic curtesy rules and polite behaviour thats. well. nice.#people say they enjoy talking to me but I dont think a lot of them really do i think they just think I'm pleasant company because I'm polit#and don't really have a set opinion#but again it works for me#I do wonder sometimes if people can sense that#that I'm not all there I mean#i wouldn't want to seem like I don't care I do kind of I don't like the thought of getting very attached to people but it's nice#to have something like friends I mean#or rather people you get along with very well#It's just a bit of a strange experience is all#boy I'm going way out of my comfort zone here with the introspection sebastian sir since when were we so willing to self reflect#that sounds wrong it's not like i have a problem with that#ahhh I need to do my art thing....#sigh the deadline is tomorrow and I am not done yet it's 11pm and -i have to get out early tomorrow#I just want to sleep#and then sleep in. let me have my twelve hours of cozy in bed time :/
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my fucking brain (or whatever the fuck is responsible) has decided that it will keep my body in a perpetual state of something that feels like a panic attack while I'm trying to work this new part-time job and then by extension ruin my ability to do the rest of my part-time jobs
#i am trying to type texts while something inside my chest feels Wrong#I wake up normal and then within a second of me remembering about this particular work my anxiety flares up#my joints hurt inside of my chest hurts my stomach hurts#and the worst of all I CAN'T THINK#and I am supposed to WRITE engaging texts#yesterday I spent most of the day freezing like I got a fever#today I'm yet spared from that particular part but won't be surprised if it comes later#and for what?!#for the lack of routine or???#ugh the way this job goes means that they are dropping tasks the whole day at most random times (within the workday but still)#and I just can't commit to doing anything else 'cause I know that I may be forced to switch tasks at any second#and it keeps me on constant anxious alert#it feels like if my everything doesn't re-adjust for this shit SOON I will explode#I have other projects stalling because of this crap how will I ever make the deadlines#fucking hell#EDIT: spoke too soon here come the shivers#like a bad hangover#only I didn't fucking drink
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Hm
#my posts#look yes i keep making at least one post like this a day and it will continue but its either letting it out or i have no idea#also in my defense y believe most of my mutuals arent up so it is peak time to post about feeling like shit#my plan isnt for someone to read these its for the bullshit to get out and try to not get to the point shit hits the fan#anyways man teen me would be so fucking disappointed by so many things the mere fact we are still alive would make them livid#and alive and living like this?#probably if they knew it was gonna be like this it would have happened lmao#they would just think we are a coward and a dumbass who can't do anything right tbh but they did know then too it's not knew#if it was new we wouldn't be here wouldn't we. why am i referring to is in plural it's just two dif timed mes#but yeah they are probably like 'hey of you are gonna keep living at least you could do it in a way no one regrets it' but alas we do#and we will keep regretting it bc our death won't be our choice. the deadline for it was extended until we were 20 and it's long closed#.... things are getting worse tho they put true but like. that isn't an option anymore lmao it sucks tbh#... i don't have anything else to say that isn't repeating it#i. do wish it was still an option idek why it isn't anymore it's some stupid arbitrary rule#i hate this. it's like. i really don't do a single thing that could make any version of me proud of myself#not teen me not child me not current me. none of us is okay with whatever the fuck i have going on and yet!#.man. I've spent all day tired and wanting to cry for nothing particular but also for literally everything so like#that would fix me. i don't know how to make it happen#... I'm gonna go to sleep#i need my phone to finish charging but that'll be over soon#so yeah I'll. go to sleep soon
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Half considering to get someone else to edit this thing for me instead of having my third breakdown this week about it
#hyouibana.txt#it's not that complicated and yet#I don't have the money to pay someone else for this either so what am i going to do here. this is a passion project of mine and I just want#to get this done before the deadline next month
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