#looks like maybe happy ending will have its happy ending
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seeliemansi · 18 hours ago
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Mr. Crawling hated Bath Time and Showers
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Warnings: 18+, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, hint of SMUT, ghost revenge. It's not that bad.
my first post was flagged. dunno if it was reported but seriously?
🧼
No thoughts but forcing Mr. Crawling to take a shower. He has been crawling around since you met him and you have noticed his dirty and tattered clothes. There wasn't a problem when you two were still in that old abandoned building. But in your apartment? Being unclean is a no go. Just like a dog who hates baths, Mr. Crawling hated the idea to the point that he refused to go out of your closet. He had been repeating the same words as you try to pry the doors open.
"You not love me?" "Why bath?" "Not love me that's why bath?" "I like you but you not like me."
You admit it was kind of adorable. It was the same when he panicked when asked if he wanted his hair to be cut short.
You are getting out of nowhere and so with a promise, you told him that he can ask you of anything if he takes a shower. Just like offering a dog a treat during training. It took a lot of reassurance, but in the end, he allowed himself to bathe. If it was that easy.
And just like a vengeful dog that shakes its fur, to spray the excess water on its owner - Mr Crawling did the same.
He flinches, and he jerks, splashing water all over your already small bathroom. And ultimately drenched you, when he strongly pulled you down with him after he freaked out when the hot water turned cold because he was taking too long. You have no choice but to take a shower as well or you'll get a cold.
You can't help the tick of annoyance when he sighs in content as you help dry his hair. His head is on your lap, and he seems refreshed and peaceful. If he wasn't so cute, you will probably get back at him. But he looks so clean, comfortable, and glowing with happiness.
Maybe next time.
Showers always make you feel drowsy. You blink slowly and feel relaxed as he looks up with a wide grin. You can't help but give him a peck on the lips and kiss on his forehead. Such a good boy.
You chuckle when you hear his infamous giggle. You were about to continue drying his hair when he quickly moved, grabbed your shoulders and forcefully pushed you down the couch.
"Done! Me treat!" He declared.
"What?"
He didn't even give you enough time to think when he suddenly held both of your legs and pulled you closer to him. You remind yourself to apologize to the neighbors if they complain about the noise.
He didn't even give you enough time to raise yourself using your elbow, when he raised both your legs up, put it on his shoulder, and giggled as he was face to face with your clothed core. You can feel his hot breath and you gasped when he sniffed you down there. His giggles reverberate as he teases you with an experimental lick.
"Shower here too. Wet."
Is all you remember him say as you felt a full blown shiver of want from your head to your toes. It will be a long night for sure.
He may be cute but Mr. Crawling can be extremely vengeful because you had a hard time walking the next day. He made sure that it wasn't only him who would crawl around. And weirdly enough, after that, he was the one who reminded you that he needed a shower.
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bananayuyu · 3 days ago
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all tied up {part 1}
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Pairing: Yunho x f reader
Genre: angst, eventual smut
Word count: 10.5k
Summary: You never thought you'd have such an awful rivalry with a coworker. How is he so mean, so petty, so under your skin...?
Warnings: smut, MDNI, mentions of reader wanting to die and past traumas, dub con/non con, reader is physically bound against her will, mean yunho, nipple play, fingering, unprotected penetration, after care of sorts (all the smut happens in part 2)
A/n: Well I had the goal of making this maybe 2k words initially, and now it's 22.4k so I decided to split it into two parts (please read the warnings and don't read this if you aren't in the right headspace <3)
Read part 2 here
Read it on ao3
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"Morning."
Your coworker's tone is cold as ice, as if he swallowed the winter air on his way to the building and was now spitting it at you. 
"Hi," you grunt, not bothering to look up from your desk. 
It was a biting, harsh morning, and the headache you were nursing wasn't doing any favors to your mood. Only minutes into your work day you already felt bleary, your legs still shivering from the short walk between the subway station and the twenty-story building your office rested in. In the mornings you woke it from its slumber; the lights in the lobby blinking on, even the heater rumbling awake as you walked through the door, as if it took a break from its job all night, too. It certainly felt that frosty in here, especially at 7am sharp, when you stumbled in before everyone else. You preferred this early shift and were thankful to be walking out the door so early each day, early enough that even in the dead of winter the sun hadn't yet set. The early mornings never bothered you; the solitude was tender and warm with you, even if the air was cruel on these freezing winter mornings. 
The intrusion of your steely coworker was unwelcome, to say the least.
"Why are you here so early?" you ask, a sharp edge to your tone. You're bitter that you won't have your usual hour to yourself, especially given the meeting you are set to have with your boss in just a few hours. You'd needed this time to mentally prepare, and here he was ruining your plans, yet again.
"I figured I'd come in early to get work done before our little meeting with the boss," he replies, a slow sigh leaving his lips and betraying just how tense he is. Well, at least it wasn't just you. You had been dreading this morning since last Friday, when the two of you had your worst argument yet, prompting your boss to demand a meeting with you both. You had no idea what would happen; you'd never had your boss demand a scheduled meeting with you in the six years you'd worked here. Things were different now, now that you worked as a grant writer and not at the front desk, but still it was concerning. He always just met with people spontaneously, and the scheduled bi-weekly meetings for the entire administrative staff were the time where conflicts and confusion were dealt with. He'd never called just two people into his office like this; then again, no one at your company had ever butted heads like you two, so badly that it left the whole office simmering with frustration, everyone dreading the sour expression that permanently settled on your features by the end of each day. You were so different now, so changed from the calm and happy woman they all knew.
You stood to make your way to the kitchen, passing by his desk as you went to turn on the kettle, boiling water for your first tea of the day. This morning called for multiple cups, your throat scratchy and dry from nerves, your body depleted from your lack of sleep. You'd stayed up far too late with your best friend last night, rambling about the meeting, begging her to help you come up with an excuse to stay home. She'd laughed with you, throwing out a few random ideas, but she knew as well as you did that you'd be here today. As much as you dreaded it, you would only miss this meeting if you were on your literal death bed, your job meaning too much to you to lose it.
From this angle he had a perfect view of you, your face scrunched up in concentration as you set the kettle to temperature, placing other employee's dirty dishes from the sink into the dishwasher. You were too obsessed with organization, in a way that made him irrationally angry, but he couldn't stop watching you every day, watching the way you adhered so severely to your little routines, watching the way his interruptions cast your face in worry and made you snap at him. Today, like every Monday, you wore your favorite shoes, the black platform Mary Janes. Up your legs stretched your thigh-high wool socks, also black, held up by a ruffled stretch of gray lace at the top. Over your hips lay a gray tartan skirt, reaching almost down to your socks, leaving an inch of bare thigh exposed in a way he thought wasn't really work appropriate. And then there was your black turtleneck, tight and accentuating your obviously braless chest, the curves and shapes of your body not hidden in the slightest. He was watching you intently, waiting for you to finally notice, and boy was he not disappointed when you finally did.
"You've hid my mug, haven't you," you spit, slamming the dishwasher harder than you needed to. You hadn't seen it in the cabinet, so you'd gingerly searched through the dishwasher too, desperately hoping someone else hadn't used it the previous week and neglected to wash it. Not finding it in there was a relief in some ways, but immediately you knew who was at fault for its disappearance, and his dark chuckle in response to you confirmed your suspicions ten fold. "You're such a dick," you grumble under your breath, reaching for any other random mug in the cabinet, needing something to house the tea you desperately need.
"What was that?" he asks, his tone mocking you, knowing exactly the sentiment of what you'd said even if he hadn't heard you clearly. You sigh and roll your eyes, ripping open your tea bag and plopping it in the mug, gently pouring the steaming liquid over it. "You just love to blame me for everything, don't you, even if you have no proof." His voice is low, dark, and it makes a shiver run through you even as the steam of the water warms your face. "You're cruel y/n, so cruel." His tone of voice makes you feel trapped, even all these feet away, and you just freeze for a bit, your tea steeping a bit longer than it should have. A creak of the building snaps you out of it, and you fling the tea bag into the trash, gently blowing over the mug and taking a tiny sip, testing the temperature.
Finally you turn, catching a glimpse of him. Jeong Yunho, the newest addition to your little office, hired about six months ago now, you realized. The date hit you in the gut this morning; the year had flown by, especially the last half, and in days it would no longer be this year anymore, no longer be the ending of an adventure but rather the start, when you'd have to plan again, think again. His suit today is stone gray, the color only barely darker than his wool overcoat, his tie a dark navy that really just looked black. His shoes were dark navy too; which you only knew because of the difference in the toe box from his other black shoes, the ones he normally wore. It must be a special day, he must be heading to something important after work. Some sort of meeting? No, that wouldn't really make sense, you all didn't work in a field where meetings were held outside of work hours, in restaurants or bars. Unless the meeting was about getting out of here, finding another placement. Maybe a date? Who'd want to date such an asshole, though?
He was rich and good-looking. Even you could recognize that. And boy did it irk you, that he looked so good in his suits, that he wasn't too masculine or too feminine, that his nose sloped in just the perfect way, that his smile was soft and bright and so endearing. You hadn't met many people in your life who were so captivating at first glance, and sure, when he'd first started here a part of you hoped something might happen between the two of you. You'd eat lunch at each other's desks, excitedly discussing your newest grants or talking about your favorite shows, which of course, were the same. It was a blissful few weeks, a beautiful honeymoon of sorts. Of course it couldn't last forever; you landed your dream job, everything you'd been working towards finally coming true last year, a new perfect apartment with your best friend being the cherry on top. Of course this year a man appeared and tried to ruin everything.
The two of you work in silence until 7:45, when everyone else starts arriving for the day, led of course by Dr. Acharya, the supervising psychotherapist. Next is Tally, who gives you a short wave as she heads to reception, her horn-rimmed glasses peeking over the window to blow you a kiss when she finds the mug of tea you'd made waiting for her. Soon many others scramble in together; Marnie, Amir, Rua, and Keisha, each making their way to their individual offices to ready themselves for their first clients. Soon Jongho, in charge of billing and accounting, walks in too, sitting down at his desk next to Yunho. And finally Eliana stumbles in just before eight, her giant coffee in hand, her eyes slightly dark with panic like they always are as she rushes into her office. Your boss, Mr. Kangsoo, won't be in for another hour at least and the day lurches forward as the first clients of the day are brought back for their counseling sessions, the office breaking into a low hum that will stay with you until you leave.
Your digitizing task today is boring but necessary, and that headache isn't leaving you, even with the tea warming your throat and your favorite piano concerto comforting you through the morning. You always loved Rachmaninov in the winter. But even so, your mood was sour, too sour. Yunho and Jongho's comfortable chatter was making your blood boil, making it hard for you to focus on your stupid, tedious task. In a huff you stand, heading straight for the reception office, papers in hand.
"Hi hi," Tally greets you as you open her door, gently closing it behind you.
"Dude, I'm dreading this meeting," you say immediately, sighing.
"Why? I'm sure nothing bad will come of it, Mr. Kangsoo loves you," she says, canceling an appointment on her screen and typing out a note.
"I know, I'm just already pissy today, not exactly the best mood to be bringing to the boss's office," you chuckle, setting your papers on the corner of her desk. "I kept neglecting digitizing this pile and now I can't stop obsessing over it. And Yunho came in early today, and hid my fucking mug. Again."
"Did you see this?" she asks, grabbing a sticky note from the corner of her computer and holding it out to you.
Can you please let the pretty one know she's never driving me from this job, no matter how hard she tries?
"God he's such an ass," you whisper, making Tally giggle. "Thank god for you girl, I don't know what I'd do without you here."
"You're 100% sure it's Yunho?" she asks, eyeing you.
"Who else would it be?" you reply, rolling your eyes, making her laugh again. 
"Well, I guess now 'the pretty one' has been told," she giggles, rolling her eyes too as she crumples up the note and tosses it in the trash.
"Like I said, he's an ass," you reply, not as quietly this time. A parent obviously waiting for their child snaps their head up, looking in your direction. They're maybe twenty feet away, and the window between the lobby and the reception desk is small, so you doubt they really heard you. But you balk in embarrassment anyway, silencing yourself.
"I should get back to my desk, I guess," you say, sighing as you pick up your stack of papers once again.
"Just ignore him," Tally says, smiling kindly.
"I'll try," you sigh, earning a disapproving look from Tally. "I will, I promise. You're right, I know, I should just ignore him," you answer, looking over to see the back of his head, his large hands crossed over each other and resting there on his jet black hair.  Fuck him, you can't help but think. Everything had been going so well, and you'd never been someone who got into drama at work, ever. It was a point of pride for you for a long time, a huge reason why your boss gave you the position he did and trusted you to be a part of his team. Now it had all been ruined, by this fucking asshole, in his perfectly tailored suits.
The day dragged on, your mind spinning with anxiety. It wouldn't leave you until that dreaded meeting, you knew that, so you busied yourself with scanning and organizing the files, not bothering to try to get any writing done. There was no way you would, not in this state.
Finally your boss arrived, his heavy footsteps sending waves of dread through you, your stomach a fluttering mess. You hadn't been able to eat this morning, which was very unlike you; you could feel how weak you were from the lack of sustenance, the adrenaline making you shakier than it normally did. You stumbled on wobbly legs towards his office once he called for you, Yunho's presence dark and foreboding behind you, and you swore you heard him whisper 'behave yourself' as the two of you passed into the office. Your blood was boiling as you sat down, the two chairs facing the front of your boss's desk, your face a permanent scowl as you stared Yunho down, watching him settle himself down in the chair and spread his legs farther than he needed to, looking all too comfortable.
"Ok, to start, this is not to scare you, or fire you," your boss begins, already zeroing in on the dynamic between you; the cool and collected look of Yunho, and the angry, stricken look of you, your eyes deep with worry when you meet your boss's gaze. "You both know me, I don't really do this sort of thing. I don't need to control you all, to be a good leader." He sighs deeply, looking almost as pained as you do, like he's mulled this over for too long himself. "I just can't let this go on any longer. The conflict between you two is affecting everyone, and it's clearly affecting your own work, too. I can see it in the quality of your writing. You are both very smart, very good grant writers, and even so you've been doing a good job, but I know you both can do better. And this fighting, it really needs to stop." He sighs deeply again, shaking his head subtly, like his subconscious is trying to rid itself of the stress you two have caused him. It makes so many feelings bloom in your guts, but the overwhelming one is guilt, the feeling so entirely consuming that you have the urge to jump to the floor now and start babbling out apologies. But you stop yourself, stop the tears from coming, and taking a deep breath you regain some composure. You know your boss, and you know his cadence, so you know he has more to say.
"So, we're figuring this out today. I don't care what it takes, we're settling this. So tell me, why do you two fight so much?" His eyes sweep back and forth, eyeing each of you for any sign, any subtle movement that could give him some idea of what was going on. He had his own theories, but he really couldn't be sure, and due to his laid back nature with his staff, he hadn't been monitoring you two enough to really know. With a sigh he leans back in his chair, letting the silence hang in the room until one of you is willing to break it.
"Sir, I don't think she's liked me from the moment I started here," Yunho finally speaks up, leaning forward in his chair and setting his elbows on his knees, the casual and confident gesture making your skin crawl. "I think she's been trying to make me miserable, so I'll leave-"
"That is not tru-"
"I think she feels some sort of ownership here, cause she's worked here so much longer than m-"
"That is absolutely not true!" you cry, your shot nerves leaving you unable to control your volume. "I would never try to run someone out of the office that way, that's completely unprofessional! He's the one who started all of this, he's the one who leaves nasty notes for me and hides my things and puts me down constantly in every admin meeting, trying to make me look like an idiot in front of everyone! If we're really gonna go there, I think he feels intimidated by my experience here, by the fact that I have a clearly established relationship with everyone, that you and all the therapists like me, and that even though he has more experience than me I'm still writing better grants!"
"Y/n, please keep yo-" your boss starts.
"I'm sorry, sir, but he left a note for me on Tally's computer this morning! How unprofessional is that! Now he's dragging her into our drama too, which I promise you I've never done! I-"
"Oh sure, you've never complained about me to anyone in the office," Yunho juts in, rolling his eyes. "It's not like everyone here sides with you on everything, always. If it weren't for Jongho I think you would have made everyone in this office hate me by now."
"Everyone loves you here, what do you mean?" you shoot back, your eyebrows furrowed in frustration. "I never talk about you to any of them, not even Tally. Because I know it would be wrong. Maybe everyone sides with me on certain issues because I'm right, have you ever considered that?! And by the way, Tally thinks poorly of you because of her own observations, because she doesn't like the things you say to me. So that has everything to do with you and your shitty behavior-" you cut yourself off, slapping a hand over your mouth. Because as comfortable as you are with your boss, you never, ever curse in front of him. It's an unspoken rule in the office, and one you'd never struggled to follow before. Shame washes over you like a wave of boiling water, making your whole body begin to shake.
"I'm so sorry, sir," you bow your head to him, your eyes closed as you fight to keep yourself from bursting into tears.
"She's obviously quite emotionally unstable, sir," Yunho pipes up from beside you, and of all the things he's said recently it's definitely the most hurtful. Your head shoots up, a single tear racing down your cheek despite your attempts to keep it at bay, and you just stare at him, your face betraying everything you're feeling.
"There's no need for that sort of insult right now, Yunho," your boss scolds him. "I need you two to resolve this, not fight even more. So tell me about this note, what did it say? Why did you leave a note for y/n on Tally's desk?"
"I'm sorry sir, I understand," Yunho responds, his perfectly respectful tone and gestures looking so put on. "And honestly sir, I have no idea what y/n is talking about. I didn't leave any notes for anyone this morning."
"Oh, so you're going to lie right to our boss's face?" you ask him, your volume lower but your anger still evident. "Do I need to go grab Tally? Seriously?"
"Did this note have my name on it anywhere?" he chuckles, fixing you with a strong gaze. And if you aren't mistaken, there's some sort of twinkle in his eye, almost like he's enjoying this. Is it seeing you suffer, seeing the anger and sadness in your eyes that makes him feel joy? Or maybe it's just messing with you in front of your boss, forcing you to over-explain yourself to the point of looking hysterical. Whatever it is it makes you uneasy, your stomach feeling like it might fall out of your ass at any moment.
"Sir, it said, 'Can you please let the pretty one know she's never driving me from this job, no matter how hard she tries?" you say, exasperated. "He just said he thinks I've been trying to drive him out. It was obviously him who left that note." You turn your body to face your boss again, not wanting to catch even a glimpse of Yunho anymore, your eyes pleading with Mr. Kangsoo to believe you.
"Sir, I did not write that. I would never say something so inappropriate about a coworker," Yunho adds, and though you don't see it, he's staring right at you. Your boss sighs heavily, your eyes fixed to the way he's staring at Yunho, the lines in his forehead deep with frustration. He looks like he's about to start speaking but then stops himself, another deep breath moving through his lungs, before running his hands through his hair and leaning back in his chair again.
"God, I wish you two would just sleep with each other already and get it out of your systems," he groans under his breath, but you hear it loud and clear, your whole body on high alert.
"What?!" you snap, your response involuntary. You had respected this man for years, admired the way he ran this office with calm confidence and respect for everyone, and you couldn't believe something so inappropriate had just come out of his mouth.
"Y/n, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be gross. I just can't help but wonder if part of the issue between the two of you is, well, the obvious attraction," Mr. Kangsoo responds, sighing deeply. "I do sincerely apologize if I'm reading things incorrectly, or if that last comment made you uncomfortable. I don't in any way want to encourage my employees to sleep with each other, obviously, and that just slipped out of my mouth. It was inappropriate, I know. I just feel like I'm at my wit's end with you two, and I feel desperate to find some sort of solution. Because you both are incredible employees and I don't want to have to get rid of either of you."
"I'm so sorry sir, that this whole situation with us two has caused you stress, but I can assure you there's no attraction here. Only dislike," you reply, letting out a shaky breath.
"No attraction at all, sir," Yunho adds, making you feel disgusted at actually agreeing with him for once.
"Then why the constant arguing?" your boss asks.
"Like I said sir, he's been tormenting me-"
"She clearly has something against me sir, and I don't know what I could do to change tha-"
"You don't know what you could do?? Maybe stop being so mean to me!" you cry out again.
"Y/n, keep your voice down, this is my last warning," your boss cuts in, his face stern. "You know I see you as almost a daughter to me, you started working here when you were what, 17? And now you've finished your degree, made so many strides in the last few years. I'm proud of you and everything you've accomplished, but I'm struggling to feel proud right now, with how you've been acting recently in the office. It isn't like you. I know Yunho is at fault for this too, and I want you to know I've already talked to him about his comments made during our admin meetings. What he said a few weeks ago, insinuating that you didn't understand the "actual point" of your role in this company because you have less experience than him, was uncalled for. So was his comment earlier. But I see too that you are quick to jump on everything he says, to assume that everything he does has ill intent towards you, and I don't think that that's fair either. I know you're more mature than this," he finishes, his eyes soft as he looks at you.
"I don't think I am, sir," you squeak out, your voice breaking as more tears well in your eyes.
"Y/n, I won't have this. I need you to approach this like you've approached everything else in your life, with the goal of actually understanding it. Don't give up on this now," he says, his voice stern but encouraging in that special way only he can be.
"Sir, how am I supposed to feel watching you accept her hysterics?" Yunho asks, his face tense with annoyance.
"God, you're cruel," you whisper, curling into a ball on your chair, not caring that you're wearing a short skirt and you probably shouldn't be holding your legs this way.
"Yunho, you're getting on my last fucking nerve today," your boss snaps, and both of you have wide eyes of shock, Mr. Kangsoo not one to curse in the office, either. "This entire conversation went worse than I expected, and your uncalled for comments show me that maybe you're not as mature as I originally thought you were. You came in with great references, son, and you clearly are very smart, but you must realize you're up against someone who's been working for me for six years, and who has proven time and time again to be basically the perfect employee. This conflict is a blip on the radar for her, but for you it's been happening almost the entire time I've known you. I want to believe the best in you, but you must understand how this looks from my perspective."
You both just sit frozen, like two kids in time-out, your faces different versions of disappointment. Your eyes are slightly red from crying, and your knees are still pulled up to your chin, your arms squeezing so tightly around them that it hurts.
"I've had it with this conversation, I don't think this is going to work. Which I should have known, it's clear that conversation between the two of you always leads to conflict," your boss continues. "I'm sending you both home, right now, and I'm demanding that you figure out this thing between you, or I'm firing you both. You have a week. Do not return to this office until the two of you have sorted out your issues, and can promise me you will not fight ever again going forward," he states, his arms crossed over his chest.
You both gawk at him, your faces looking almost identical, as you try to take in what he's just told you.
"Sir, I-" Yunho starts, but even he's stumbling over his words with just how shocked he is. "I don't think this is fair, sir. You should- you can't force us to make up, that isn't going to happen. This- we- we'll both be fired by next week," he stumbles out, his collected demeanor finally shattering.
"With all due respect, son, this is my company. I can do what I want. And this is what I feel is best. So both of you go, now, I won't hear another word. Out," he demands, standing and nodding towards his door.
You rise without a word, your body shaking dramatically from the heaps of adrenaline still coursing through you. Silently you grab your coat and scarf, packing up your bag and slinging it over your shoulder, walking to the kitchen to grab your lunch out of the fridge. You make your way towards the front door, stopping briefly at reception to look at Tally, her curly hair hanging down as she furiously types away at a document. Finally she looks up and sees your face, her own twisting into concern and confusion.
"What happened?" she whispers.
"I- I don't know," you respond, shaking your head. "Ask boss about it, I'm sure he'll tell you," you sigh, wiping another tear from your eyes. "I can't stay, I have to go," you squeak, giving her a quick hug, before turning and walking towards the front door again, nearly bumping into Yunho. You don't give him the courtesy of an apology, instead storming past him, walking angrily towards the elevator.
And of course you take the elevator down together, the silence awkward and tense and indescribable. You know he'll probably be walking down to the subway station with you, and it doesn't even surprise you when he gets on the same line as you, heading the same direction. But when he gets off at the same exact stop and you feel him walking up the stairs behind you, you can't just accept it any longer.
"Are you fucking following me?" you spit over your shoulder, your eyes dark with anger.
"No, y/n, I live up this way," he retorts, pointing ahead of you two in the exact direction of your neighborhood.
"God, don't tell me we're neighbors," you groan, trudging down the street, the remnants of last week's snow still stuck in the gutters.
"You live in Arbol Village?" he asks, almost sounding impressed.
"On Maple street," you sigh, with a nod.
"Me too," he chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief.
"This isn't funny, you fucking psychopath," you retort, angry that he's still here in your proximity, and angrier that there's only one path up into your neighborhood from this side, and the hill that leads up is making you out of breath in a way that's nothing but embarrassing.
"And you say I'm the mean one," he responds, smiling as he shakes his head.
"I really don't get how you can be so blasé about this," you huff out, your footsteps heavy as you nearly crest the hill and enter your neighborhood.
"Workplaces are shit, this is how it goes. If I have to find another job, I will. But don't think I won't go down without a fight. Mr. Kangsoo is by far the best boss I've ever worked for, so I'm going to do whatever I can to keep my position," he says, his breathing annoyingly stable even after walking the entirety of the hill. Slowly you two start into the neighborhood, but suddenly he's turning down a path towards the second house on Maple Street, the large dark one with an almost Victorian structure. 
"Of course the fancy one is your house," you sigh, seeing the ornate curtains covering only part of the front window.
"Come in, we need to talk more," Yunho says, beckoning you with his hands, but you can't be bothered. 
"Fuck no, are you crazy?" you respond, already stomping down the sidewalk past his house, not bothering to look back. The last thing you could bear is his presence right now, and for some reason you feel like you're not totally in control of yourself anyway, your legs moving so firmly they'd probably still be going even if you protested. Yunho just sighs, himself drained from the meeting you'd just left, and not having the energy to fight more. Later today, or tomorrow morning, he promised himself, he'd call you and start sorting this out for good. But for now he just watched you grow smaller and smaller, your hair blowing gently behind you in the winter breeze, your legs looking weak.
Once you were home, two and a half blocks from your asshole of a coworker, you collapsed on your bed, passing out in moments. In the late afternoon you woke to the sound of the front door slamming shut, your roommate, Yunji, calling, "shit, sorry! The wind is crazy out there!"
"You're good!" you called back, but your voice made it apparent to her that it was one of those days where you needed to be left alone, so she didn't come into your room. You picked yourself up and stripped off your work clothes, finally freeing your thighs of the tight elastics that held up your socks, two red rings now visible on your skin. Automatically you brushed your teeth, grabbing your comfiest hoodie and sweatpants, and passed out in your bed again, not even eating dinner, not checking your phone. The sun had already begun to set, the sky outside rearing for another stormy night, and your body was lulled to sleep within minutes, your head buried deep into your pillows as you pulled your comforter over your head.
You woke in what felt like minutes, your room eerily quiet. The light looked bright outside, very bright; it was disorienting, both the quiet and the light, and you lifted yourself up, squinting around in search of your phone. You'd forgotten to plug it in last night, so it surely would be almost dead. You found it still in your work bag, hanging on for dear life with the battery at five percent. The time astonished you, 9am, and you gawked at yourself. No wonder you felt so disoriented; you'd been sleeping for nearly sixteen hours.
And as you finally sorted through your notifications, your shock over the time left your brain entirely. Because the shock of having a missed call from Yunho, having two missed calls from him, floored you, literally. You sank down to the ground, furiously clicking to see the times. One was last night, at about 7pm, and the other was this morning about an hour ago. This morning he'd left a voicemail too, presumably right after you hadn't answered. With shaky hands you clicked on it, holding the phone tight to your ear so you wouldn't miss a word.
"Y/n, I know you don't like talking to me, but we really should try to sort this out earlier rather than later. Please call me back as soon as you get this."
Well, fuck.
He sounded disappointed, and frustrated, and perturbed to even be leaving the message. But god was that voice convincing, even to you, the way he worded things so eloquently and politely, like he's genuinely a good and thoughtful person. It hit you hard while listening that maybe your anger wasn't justified, maybe you'd been unfair to him like your boss had said. The sneaking feeling had graced you many times over your months of conflict, but now it felt too strong to ignore. Did he really want to sort this out? It sounded like it. Why, why, why was this so damn confusing for you?
Your mind raced as your stomach growled, as you tried to get ahold of yourself. Still sprawled out on your carpet you felt exhausted, your body somehow still feeling pulled towards sleep despite the hoards of it you'd just been allotted. You peeled yourself up, standing carefully, moving towards your window to get a view of the backyard. Looking at the garden always calmed you, even in the winter when most of the flowers were gone. And as you opened your blinds you realized why things seemed so bright this morning, and why you were barely hearing a sound.
A thick blanket of snow covered everything, flakes still falling gently from the sky which was dotted with clouds. The sun shone through a gap in them, reflected bright off the entirely white ground. You breathed out a sigh of relief, knowing that everyone had been forced to stay home today, so your missing work wasn't really a disruption to the office. Whoever was miffed about having to take your early shift wouldn't have to, after all. It was like the world was granting you a favor, as you often felt that she did, and you were so thankful. Because this, too, was a great excuse to avoid Yunho longer. There was no way you could leave the house with so much snow outside; it wasn't safe. You breathed in a sigh of relief, shaking it out as you finally connected your phone to charge, slipping on some thick socks and gliding your way out to the kitchen.
After breakfast you popped back into your room, shooting off a quick text.
Y/n: I just saw the snow, I don't think I can come over. Let's see tomorrow.
Almost immediately a call comes through from him, but you let it ring out. There was no way you were going to waste this beautiful snow day talking to him, and you had a whole week to resolve this anyway. It gnawed at you, in the back of your mind somewhere, but presently you just couldn't find it in yourself to voluntarily speak to him.
Yunho: We can still talk on the phone. And we really should. Y/n: We should take a break from talking and cool off. For today.
That was how you were justifying it to yourself. You needed a break, deserved a break from him. You wouldn't be able to really resolve anything if you were still pissed, and with the shock of the morning's weather and your body's obvious need for even more rest, you just couldn't take it today. Plus, everyone else was getting a day off, why couldn't you?
Yunho: I disagree
You flip your phone over, setting it on your bedside table, and you walk away. You'd had it with him arguing with you over text too, and the idea of curling up on the couch with Yunji, sipping hot cocoa and watching your favorite movies, sounded too enticing. You were not going to think about him anymore today. It was decided.
And surprisingly you were mostly able to keep your promise to yourself, the day passing in all its wintery glory, your favorite tradition with your roommate leaving you just as content as it always did. With a gentle sigh you both finally stood up, moving to the kitchen to wash the dishes you'd made all day, finally putting away the snacks you'd covered the coffee table with. As you both walked past the window in the hall you stopped short, eyes fixed on the scene unfolding before you.
"Holy shit," Yunji said, grabbing onto your arm. You both were used to the snow here, having grown up in the next town over. But this snow, that now seemed to be three feet deep, was something you hadn't seen since the one glorious winter more than a decade ago. You were eight that year, and the day after Christmas it snowed furiously, continuing all the way until New Year's Day when the ground was so covered that everywhere you looked outside all you saw was white.
You hadn't realized it was snowing all day, that the sky had turned dark in the early afternoon with all of the cloud cover. You were both too engrossed in your fun to notice.
"Well, I guess we're not going back to work for another few days," she laughed, sighing at how lovely it looked.
"Thank god," you replied, sighing in relief.
"Has Yunho been giving you trouble again?" she asked, and you turned to her with a downturned smile.
"When is he not," you sighed, laughing.
"Hey, how did your meeting go, yesterday?" she asked.
"Fucking terrible," you reply, a frustrated hand running through your hair.
"What happened?"
"Boss said that if the two of us can't resolve our differences, he's letting us both go," you answer, sighing harshly.
"Oh my god, that's crazy! How could he do that to you??" she replied, eyes wide.
"Girl, I know. I don't even know how it got to this point."
She moved to hug you, knowing just how much this situation had weighed on you, and just how much your job meant. She'd seen it in your eyes, even if you hadn't always told her exactly what was going on. She knew how sensitive you were, and she couldn't believe your boss would say such a thing. Especially given the years of dedication you'd given to that office, that you so genuinely cared about.
"What are you gonna do?" she asks, pulling back. 
"Well I guess, try to resolve it. I don't know how, though, every time we talk he just pisses me off and we fight. He's not reasonable about anything. He's always joking, nothing is ever totally serious. I saw him stutter for the first time yesterday, when Mr. Kangsoo gave us that ultimatum, but earlier in the meeting he was way too casual about everything. He was calling me hysterical and unstable, and, just, how the fuck does my boss think I'm going to solve this? That man is fucking impossible," you say, shaking your head.
"He sounds like a sociopath," she replies. "If I ever see him I will wring his neck, I swear to god."
"Well, you might. He lives in this neighborhood." Yunji's eyes go wide at your comment, her mouth hanging open. "Yeah, I know. He lives on our street, too, you know the fancy looking house that's second in from the road? Like if you're walking from the station this direction, the second house on the right? Yeah, that's his. I found out yesterday when I was walking home."
"How the fuck does a single guy in his twenties afford that?" she asks, baffled.
"He clearly has family money, he must. I'm sure he's made decent money for the past few years, but not enough to afford that. And all of his stuff, his suits and his briefcase and everything, looks expensive. And it's not like, shit that just looks expensive or name brand stuff. It's subtler than that, it just seems like everything he owns is so high quality."
"Fucking rich boys. I guess it isn't surprising, given how he's behaved. Like he's always gotten his way and never been told no."
"It really seems like it. Everyone always loves him, it's so annoying," you roll your eyes, thinking of every other staff member's reaction to meeting their shiny new coworker, and his easy demeanor, always saying what people want to hear. Except to you, it seemed.
"Well you can't really meet up and talk right now," Yunji says.
"No, but he said we should talk on the phone. I missed two calls from him, and he left me a message. But I can't bear to speak with him on the phone. I don't ever talk to my coworkers outside of work, no matter how close we are," you reply, shaking your head. "It just feels weird. I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I'm ignoring him for the rest of today."
"Understandable," she responds, squeezing your arm for a moment. "I should try to get some work done on my thesis, I guess, but you rest this evening. You deserve it."
As you both retire to your rooms, you sigh into your pillow. Despite the lazy day, despite the sixteen hours of sleep last night, you still feel tired. It must be mental, it's the only explanation at this point. And you know that means you should probably avoid your phone. But you reflexively check it; the anticipation brewing in your head isn't letting up.
You find two more missed calls from Yunho, and another text.
Yunho: How are we going to solve this if you keep ignoring me?
You suppose it makes you feel a little bad, a little guilty. Still, you can't be bothered to respond. You don't know why; you can't explain it. That feeling like you're not totally in control of your actions, like someone else is calling the shots, is back, and it really doesn't feel like something you can fight, or should fight. There's an eeriness about it, but it's so far in the back of your mind that you don't give it a second thought. After turning over your phone you climb into your covers, the light barely there outside as the evening approaches, the sky still covered in dark clouds and the snow still falling.
And just like that, two days pass. The snow has stayed heavy, making it unsafe to leave, the whole city quiet as few feel brave enough to venture outside. A desperate run to the grocery store calls a few, but thankfully you and Yunji have plenty of food in the pantry to last you a few days. She's taken the opportunity to really focus on her work, and you thought maybe you should, too. You never worked on grants at home, but you could bet Yunho was also taking advantage of the quiet time. You didn't really have anything better to do, yet you couldn't bring yourself to work at all, not when your head and gut were rolling with anxiety and fear and a crushing hatred of yourself. That first day avoiding Yunho had felt, well, not good, but justified. But the past two days, more missed calls and texts unanswered, you felt straight up guilty, and stupid. Not really for ignoring Yunho, as much as letting down your boss, which you knew you would. This couldn't be resolved; no matter what the two of you did you'd never get along, and it was clear that there was something in Yunho that made him unable to leave you alone. You hadn't particularly liked the last guy in his position, either, but the two of you had basically ignored each other, easily. But since his entrance to your office, Yunho seemed unable to not bother you, not leave notes, not piss you off every chance he got. And now you couldn't help but ignore him, even though you knew that doing so was fucking you both over, making it certain that you'd never return to that beloved office and your dream job.
You felt stuck. The literal fact of not being able to leave your apartment was eating you alive, making you feel scared and paranoid and vulnerable in ways you knew were illogical. Every little sound started to make you jump; you were losing it, slowly but surely coming apart at the seams. You swore you started hearing your mom's cat meowing for you, and once in the kitchen it sounded so real you spent minutes furiously searching the hall and your bedroom for her. You collapsed on the floor, waves of anxiety rolling over you as you held yourself in the fetal position, not even crying, just hyperventilating.
Yunho: You're being really immature and unfair by not responding to me. Not even giving this a chance of maybe working itself out
You hadn't responded to him in days, but something in you finally broke. It was in the way his words reflected how you felt about yourself, and the severe guilt that it brought you alighted in flames and suddenly felt like nothing but red, hot anger.
Y/n: Fuck you Yunho: Oh, so you are alive
Breathing heavy you stared at the screen, a sudden realization washed over you. You knew it was over; you'd maintained at least some level of professionalism up to this point, albeit not much, with him. Even when you fought in the office you didn't say anything personal or unnecessarily nasty. You only cursed at him under your breath, never loud enough that anyone could hear. But now you had said something nasty, in writing no less. Even if you both somehow made it back to work on Monday, he'd no doubt show your boss what you had said. And even with your long standing relationship with Mr. Kangsoo, you doubted he'd be willing to keep you on after seeing that.
So that was it. It was over. Logically you knew that you could find a new job, that this wasn't the end of your life. The new year was right around the corner, which was always a good time to find new placements. But you had studied communications and psychology specifically for this job, had dedicated years to learning everything you could about funding and mental health care and the ways your boss ran the office. Though it'd never been said directly, you had a feeling that one day you'd become his second-in-command, and maybe even take over running the place once he was ready to take a step back and retire. You loved this part of the city, loved living with your best friend here, and the commute was easy. You'd planned everything so well, yet it still was about to crumble in your hands. And with every passing minute, it felt like you were waiting for your life to implode, which made not being able to leave all the worse.
The next morning you woke to a call from your mom.
"Good morning," she answered, after your muffled and confused, hello? "Happy New Year sweetie."
"Hi mom, Happy New Year," you responded, rolling over to tuck yourself into the covers again. It had gotten bone-chillingly cold with the perpetual precipitation, and pulling the covers off in the morning felt torturous.
"Since you can't come down to see me today I thought I'd call. Are you two doing okay? Do you have enough food?"
"Yeah, we're doing fine," you say through a yawn. "We've got plenty of food, as long as this lets up in a few days."
"God, it better. I'm glad I got to see you on Christmas Eve."
"Me too."
"Are you doing okay? You sound off," she asks you, making your heart sink. She has no idea what's been going on; you've done an expert job of keeping it a secret from her, as you often do with your struggles, because you know she can't really handle it. You know she has too much to deal with on her own, and you never really feel like she gives you good advice, anyway. But with how you've been feeling mentally, hearing someone ask that has you panicking internally.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine, I just woke up is all," you lie, yawning again to punctuate your point. "I'm not really enjoying being stuck inside, I guess."
"That's not like you," your mom laughs, and you know she's shaking her head side to side the way she always does. "You used to always love when you were stuck inside, or stranded somewhere. Do you remember when you got lost at that theme park in Ocean City? When we found you at the ticket booth you were happy as can be. We thought we'd find you crying. The teenage boy who was watching you said you were quiet as can be, just sat in that little nook in total silence. You were such a funny kid." There's a mystical air to her tone telling the story, because she loves to reminisce in that way, and unfortunately you really, really don't. Because that was the time of your life when your dad was still around, and despite the years of therapy you still can't move past it all. 
"Yeah, I remember," you placate her, sighing. You wish you could travel to see her today, just to calm her nerves and make her not worry, because her worrying is the absolute last thing you want. As you stare out the window you see the sky is a bit clearer, and there don't appear to be many flakes still falling. But the snow is still thick and there's surely ice everywhere. You're not even sure if the three separate subway lines you have to take to reach her house are still running.
"Well, sweetie, the weather report said the snow's finally supposed to let up today, so maybe you can get some fresh air soon."
"That sounds good," you mutter, rolling over in bed. "I should go make some breakfast, I'm feeling really hungry. Thanks for calling, love you," you finish the call.
"Okay, love you too sweetie. Talk to you soon," she replies, before you hang up the call.
New Year's Day. You'd forgotten yesterday what day it was, and had been sort of avoiding your phone because of Yunho's texts and calls. You hadn't stayed up till midnight, hadn't welcomed the New Year in any way. You were surprised Yunji hadn't said anything, but then again neither of you really were the types to party or celebrate holidays much. You both had bad memories of them from growing up, or good memories that had turned bad once you'd matured and looked back without your naiveté. And your face and posture were probably screaming 'leave me alone,' Yunji always able to tell if you were upset. You were thankful for that, thankful that she knew how to leave you alone when you needed the space. Really, what did it matter what day it was? New Year's was like any other day of the year, it just had the honor of being first in the lineup. So why was your head spinning so much? Why couldn't you stop thinking about what your resolutions should be?
The morning was strange, even with a delicious bagel and a warm cup of Jasmine tea. It felt strange seeing the sky after it had been covered for days; it even felt strange looking out your living room window to the front yard, the snow on the street gray and muddy and pounded down by the tracks of the few brave souls who'd trekked out or driven in this weather. You saw one neighbor diligently shoveling snow off her driveway, bundled up head to toe in a giant puffy jacket and boots that looked too big for her. Her head snaps up, and you walk towards the window to see what she's seeing; a snow plow was making its way down your street, the drivers finally able to start their work today now that the worst of the storm was behind you. Even the sidewalks looked not so bad, as the clear day had allowed the sun to begin melting the thick snow, the air hot enough that it might not be too icy out there. Something in you called at you to go outside, but the second you thought about it a wave of dread hit you, and you knew you'd be too scared. It would be another day stuck in here, another day avoiding Yunho's texts and feeling so guilty, and you weren't sure if you could take it.
It had gotten to that point now. It had been so long since you felt like this, like you'd rather die than live another moment. Now, just like the first time, you felt so ridiculous and shameful for feeling that way, looking around to see the physical evidence of your privileged life. Your safe and cozy apartment, the food filling the fridge, the brand new washing machine you'd both bought yourselves as a Christmas gift. How could this be so awful? You had all sorts of entertainment, anything you could need to keep you busy while you waited for these snow days to end. You could be updating your resume, starting the search for a new job. You could be calling Yunho back, and trying to find a way through your conflict. You could be doing yoga, meditating, making soup from scratch, reading, writing, learning a new language...
It all sounded horrible. Your mind was collapsing on you, but this time you're not a kid, this time you don't have a great excuse. You'd let some petty drama taint your every waking moment, and you didn't have anyone to blame but yourself. You were too scared to do the right thing, you could see that now, that back when this conflict had started you'd assumed your boss and everyone else would side with you, just because they already knew you. You'd let Yunho get under your skin, to the point that every word he uttered made you angry, letting him in so deep that there was no way out. Not now. You knew this wouldn't be resolved, because you couldn't do it; you could never admit these things to him that you'd just admitted to yourself. You could never apologize, never acknowledge that you played a part. You'd sat yourself staunchly in a position, the innocent one who'd been wronged time and time again by the aggressor, and stepping down from that pedestal would hurt you more than you thought you could bear.
It was the shame of fucking up. Of not being perfect. A conversation from therapy, from almost ten years ago, ricocheted to the front of your mind. 'You're quite a perfectionist, y/n. Do you realize that? It makes you avoid doing certain things, even if you know they're the right thing to do.' You can still see your old therapist's face, her glasses near the tip of her nose as she eyed you. How could you still be right where your fourteen year old self was? You looked like her too, your skin burning with embarrassment at how you hadn't realized that yourself. It felt humiliating to have to be told, because that in and of itself proved you were imperfect. That you weren't totally and completely self aware. The biggest shame you carried was knowing that despite how hard you tried, you never were very good at knowing yourself. 
You laid face down on your bedroom floor. You didn't have the energy or motivation for anything else. You knew clinically speaking, this looked like the start of a depressive episode. But you hadn't had one in years now and were out of practice. What were you supposed to do now? All that felt okay was sinking more into your head, letting the darkness envelop your mind and take you on a ride through your worst memories, your heart racing despite your complete lack of physical exertion.
By early afternoon you'd had enough of that horrifying roller coaster. When you sat up your neck ached, your body screaming at you to never collapse in that position again. You felt jittery, restless, but nothing at home sounded appealing still, not in the slightest. Your eyes catch on your winter boots in the corner of your room, too big to fit on the shoe rack by the front door. And suddenly your mind is made up in less than a second. It was time to go for a walk, to get out of the house. Maybe the cold air would clear your mind.
"Hey, I'm gonna go grab some snacks at Smith's, do you need anything?" you call through Yunji's bedroom door.
"You're going out in this weather?" she asks, opening it.
"The snow let up a lot today, and I'm running low. And I'm feeling too cooped up. It's only five blocks, I'm sure I'll be fine."
"Ok, well, I don't think I need anything. I stocked up on Pocky last time we were there. Are we almost out of toilet paper or paper towels?" she asks.
"No, I just checked," you respond.
"Okay. Be careful," she says, smiling.
"I will, I promise," you say before walking toward the front closet, grabbing your big winter coat and zipping it up.
The outside air is a shock as it greets your face, making your cheeks turn pink almost instantly. The world is still bright, the sun shining the warmest it will all day, but you can see darker clouds off in the distance. You hope they aren't moving too fast; there is only a slight breeze in the air, and mostly it's just so quiet, even with a second snow plow heading down your street. It does feel relieving, a least a little, to finally be outside, and a part of you feels proud for actually going out, given how scared you were this morning. You feel like you're maybe proving to yourself that you aren't such a wuss, that you aren't so prone to avoiding things that one day it'll ruin your life. You walk briskly, your nerves buzzing as your heart rate rises to keep you warm.
It feels nice to be buying your favorite snacks, and you're able to get lost in the normalcy of it for a few minutes. The store is almost empty, so you try making light conversation with the one cashier working, his long hair covered in a beanie. Strolling back outside you're met with the chilly air again, a gust of wind nearly knocking you off your feet as you make your way through the small, empty parking lot. You could have sworn you were only in there for maybe ten or fifteen minutes, but the sky looks almost completely different now, those dark clouds having descended on your area. You start your way back up the hill, bracing yourself against the growing winds, when the sky lets out a low rumble that shakes you to your bones. Suddenly it's raining, the air warm enough to turn the snow into sleet, and it's soaking your face and your hat and your gloves faster than you can believe. The paper bag holding your snacks is disintegrating in your hand, and you shove it under your coat to try to protect it, the cold bag on your stomach making you shiver.
"Fuck, this was a bad idea," you mutter to yourself, shakily making your way finally into your neighborhood, crossing the street that separates the houses from the row of commercial buildings. Your whole body is shaking, your head turned to the ground as you try to avoid getting sleet in your eyes and try to avoid falling. You're moving much slower than you were on your way to the store, carefully planting your feet one in front of the other as you hold your snacks against your stomach. Your brain feels fuzzy, the wind whipping past your ears, and all you can manage to think is, 'just make it home, just make it home.' It's only about three more blocks, you should be able to make it just fine, if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, if you just keep going, keep goin-
Suddenly someone has grabbed you, your body thrown up like a rag doll, your upper half thrown over their shoulder. You let out a guttural scream, the sound hoarse and weak and getting lost in the storm. You're furiously flailing your legs, wiping the water from your eyes to try to get a look at anything, your lungs heaving as you scream again, this time, "Let me go!!"
The grip on your legs only tightens after your outburst, and then you're hearing a door whooshing open, warmer air greeting you as you enter some house, your eyes able to make out hardwood floors and the large boots of whoever's holding you hostage. You're breathing ragged, trying to get ahold of yourself and figure out where the hell you are, and when you catch a glimpse into the front closet of this house you see those navy blue shoes, with that very unique toe box...
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Part 2
Thank you sm for reading! <3
151 notes · View notes
amusingmusie · 21 hours ago
Note
Hi, I really hope you're faring well. Just wanted to say that I love your writing and yours truly, and I thought about something.
In hell, Alastor is a lot more durable and unkillable, so I imagine that's a lot more of a headache for Nel. She's walking behind him, ready to bash his skull and all of a sudden his head does a 180 and she's like >:0.
Also demon Al's hygiene must be HORRIBLE. So she's probably going to have to chase him around the hotel with a toothbrush and soap to no evail because he's a slippery motherfucker now that he's a demon.
Thank you so much for writing this masterpiece, and have a wonderful day <3
Fresh As Hell
Content warning for the Hazbin cast being themselves.
You're running out of ideas.
This has gone on far too long. The smell of an old shoe here, a hint of halitosis there, even a whiff of swamp water wafting your way if you get too close: it's all evidence that you can't ignore any longer.
Alastor kind of fucking stinks.
Sure, you've told him since your human days that his swampass stench is overwhelming, but that was a dig to piss him off, not the actual truth (usually, as long as his mother pressured him to scrub his tail). Nowadays? Well, if the demonic stop sign admitted that he bathes in his bedroom's wetlands, you'd be less than shocked. Shit, you'd actually be relieved if that were the case, because then you could fill the bog with soap and perfume to mask whatever funk perpetually lives on Alastor's grey skin. It's never overwhelming enough to knock you out; it's maddening subtle, the musk of his hair and the bite to his breath.
Maybe you could survive the Great Stink of '24 if he didn't insist on being on top of you at all times. Every time you turn around, you're assaulted by crimson, static, and Alastor's personal brand of miasma that wafts off of him since he insists on being no less than three atoms away from you.
Sure, it's possible you've got beef with his aroma since back in the day, the shitter smelled like freshly cut wood with notes of amber and his teeth sparkled like diamonds. You've seen his hygiene at its peak, which is why you cannot cosign this rank tomfoolery. Unfortunately, all of your attempts to rally the idiots at this hotel to agree with you that this is an issue have ended in disaster, leaving you without any allies in this fight.
"I haven't really noticed much, and hey, here at the Happy Hotel, we're receptive to more, um, eccentric lifestyles! As long as Alastor is being a team player and helping out with our mission, there's no reason to make him uncomfortable by bringing up his personal choices!"
"I don't get close enough to that pendejo to catch a whiff of whatever you're talking about."
"I dunno, tootz, I like a man with a little musk to 'em."
"Fuck off and fuck you."
"I like man stink~"
You're very much on your own here. The war on Alastor's subpar hygiene will be fought by you and you alone, and you won't be deterred- you've had worse battles before.
When you're once again yanked into Alastor's side and exposed to a faceful of his armpit in the lobby for the upteenth time, you vow to take action against him, more for your sake than his.
Game on.
---
Your strategy calls for small, stealthy actions in the beginning.
Positioning yourself in plain sight at the hotel bar with two cups of coffee, you wait for your target to appear. It's the perfect scene: you, alone (save for the bar cat, but he's passed out with his head down on the counter), with coffee. Alastor can't resist this. Hardly more than three seconds pass before a rush of static and a chill wash over you. A gentle pop sounds off to your left, and then you're greeted by your least favorite radio host smelling stale as ever.
"Good morning, sweetheart!" he cries, purposely shouting too loudly into your ear. "You're looking especially horrid this morning. Did you happen to catch a glance of your reflection in the mirror before it cracked?"
"No, I was too busy imagining all the ways I could skin you alive before eleven."
"Well, it is eight already, so hop to it, you need all the time that you can get to brainstorm!"
As his invisible audience laughs alongside him, you flick a handful of mints into his unguarded coffee cup. The jackass is too busy chortling at his tired jokes to realize that you've done anything at all. Perfect. Holding back your smirk is a damn hard move when Alastor finally lifts his red mug to his full lips and swallows down a mouthful of minty coffee.
Success.
Until-
"Hm..." Alastor hums, blinking his red eyes plainly. Then he promptly turns, spits out a stream of dark liquid onto Husk's bowed head, and snatches up your cup of coffee. After sipping down your drink, he sighs contently. "There, much better! Ah, that was a juvenile play, dear. You're losing your touch."
The deer motherfucker teleports away while you're left with a pissed off cat and determination to win this war.
---
Next comes the idea to douse Alastor in whatever perfume oils you can find as a direct plan of attack. Instead of using your precious concoction that you paid out the ass for from Rosie's Emporium, you decide that these other assholes living around here could stand to help out for five seconds. You're not asking for their support- just their cologne.
Angel is the unlucky winner that you approach since whatever he wears is pungent enough that it has your eyes watering on a good day. The spider leans up against his doorway, legs in your face and fluff looming above your head as you make your case.
"Listen." You crane your head back and fix him with what you hope is an amicable stare. "I'll shoot straight with you. I need a favor."
"Oh?" he asks, raising a perfect brow and examining his gloved fingers. "I don't do girls, sorry not sorry."
"No," you grumble at him. "Not that kind of favor. I need to borrow your perfume- whatever shit you wear is strong enough to be smelled across the Pentagram. All I need is to borrow the bottle for five minutes and I'll have it back to you good as new."
"HA! You think I'm letting you make off with my smell-good for free? No no no, nobody gets to borrow what I wear, not even Cherri. It's custom! You're out of luck."
"You're here at the hotel to redeem yourself- part of redemption is being selfless."
"Actually, I'm at this shitshack so I don't have to pay rent, and redemption don't mean you get a spritz of my good shit. Go ask some other shmuck." Angel laughs in your face one final time, then spins around to shut his door.
"I'll owe you," you spit out. That has the fluffy demon pausing and you fear that you've either royally fucked up or royally succeeded.
"...Owe me what?"
"One favor equal to borrowing your perfume that doesn't involve me getting my ass kicked or double dead."
Angel grins delightedly, retreats into his den, then sticks one spindly arm out with his perfume sitting pretty in his palm.
"Have at it!"
And you do, with fear of Hell's #1 pornstar in your heart.
Alastor comes in to kick your legs under the table during dinner and you immediately whip out Angel's perfume to soak the son of a bastard down. There's an ear-ringing screech before Alastor pops away, leaving you with a table full of coughing, gassed-out hotel inhabitants that are very, very pissed off.
Once Vaggie is done chewing you out, Angel Dust leans over and whispers, "You still owe me for my draining my fucking reserves, dollface."
Fuck.
---
After weeks of attempted baths, desperate tooth-brushing sessions, dirty bribery, and numerous double-death threats, you've decided that you have no choice but to go completely nuclear. Clearly, your rotten plague of a deer demon is determined to resist all attempts to freshen him the fuck up, so you are prepared to pull the dirtiest trick in your book. Forget screaming or cussing; you'll have his ass eating out of the palm of your hand in no time with this.
"Hello, my rotten peach!"
Ahah, it's time- you're about to win this little game no problem. You take one look at Alastor in all his awful glory here in the parlor, steady your face into an uninterested expression, and then you. look. away.
Alastor stares.
"I said, hello, my rotten peach! My fetid fruit! My most crusty crop!" he announces slightly louder as if you didn't hear him.
Nothing. No reaction. You refuse to engage with someone that smells of fragrant toes and has gums darker than his coffee; you'll have him suffering from your silence if those are the dumbass choices he'd like to make.
Just barely concealing his panic at the sudden lack of your attention, Alastor clomps closer, then pokes at your side with his staff. The thing winces from the contact. You, on the other hand, are not weak and will not relent, so you continue to watch the parlor wall with great interest.
All according to plan.
Charlie passes by, humming a happy tune. When she spots you lounging on the couch with Alastor hovering over you, she smiles at the familiar sight, and offers a happy, "Good morning!"
"Morning, Princess," you greet her. Then you return to wall watching.
Alastor wilts.
You smile.
And you play the winning game.
For days, you refuse to acknowledge anything having to do with your favorite least favorite parasite. If he materializes in front of you when you're reading a novel? You don't even flinch. If you awake to him standing over your bed and staring with glowing eyes? Well, there's no need to do anything but roll over, that's just Tuesday. You hardly bat an eye when a black shadow warbles over your shoulder as you brush your teeth; no, you simply show it the brush and toothpaste for a proper tutorial on how to avoid ripe ass breath. You're enjoying the power you hold over Alastor, and you especially enjoy the way his stupid tufts flatten against his head when you deny him any attention for a whole week.
You believe that victory is yours.
---
As you trudge downstairs for another miserable day at the Asscrack Motel or whatever they're calling this place nowadays, you're overwhelmed by a new scent permeating throughout the lobby- freshly cut cedar, something slightly floral and musky, hints of amber, and immaculately washed manass.
Shit.
You know that smell. You know that smell very well. It can only mean one thing.
Then you spot him in all of his glory; Alastor is leaning his spindly body against the hotel bar with a freshly patched suit, styled hair slicked back across his head, and shining teeth. Oh God, he smells and looks like Heaven, and suddenly you decide that maybe you don't give two shits about that white speck in the sky when you've got this presented to you on a metaphorical platter.
With a little grunt, you move closer, appraising Alastor with an indifferent expression. His static is whirring sweetly in the background while he simpers down at you- yeah, he's proud and peacocking a bit, you can tell from the manner in which his lips curl and the way his chest puffs out. Goddammit...he knows that he's got you hooked like a fucking sucker.
"Yeeeeees?" he sings when you stare for a second too long. "Something on your dreadfully empty mind?"
"..." Hm. You could shoot him for being annoying, but he did do all of this dolling up for you.
Ugh. You hate him so much.
So you yank him down by his lapel so you can kiss him square on the mouth. For the first time in a long time, he tastes of mint and sunshine instead of rot and coffee, utterly intoxicating you in the worst of ways. You drag your lips against his and feel that they've been moisturized, and when he bites down on your tongue, there's no slippery plaque to offend your senses.
All of this effort just to get you to look his way.
Good.
Then you release him with a pop, flip him the bird, and walk off with your head held high.
Alastor just hums in satisfaction from his place at the bar, idly commenting, "I've still got it," to a very disgusted Husk and Vaggie who are doing their damndest to ignore the scene.
You'll call this one even.
(Loosely based on a very old conversation with @gemrocknerd).
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katiascraft · 22 hours ago
Text
𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ "Maybe i should've told you i miss you. But i don't know if you feel the same" | OP81 ✧₊⁺
parings: oscar piastri x singer!reader
summary: your insecurities lead to lose the love of your life, but destiny always play its worst (or best) cards for you. in the aftermath of it all, two souls become one (again). or that's what you'd like.
inspired by: gracie abrams music ⤦
⟢ ‘almost said I miss you’ EP: tracklist
➥ track 1 - mean it
➥ track 2 - stay
➥ track 3- I miss you, I’m sorry
word count: 6k.
warnings: angst. and a little fluff. mentions of insecurieties, trauma and depression. not a native english speaker so there could be (so many) erros. not proofread.
MASTERLIST
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「 ✦ The ticking clock ✦ 」
You took a deep breath. Your hands were shaking and your stress levels were at their peak.
“You are always picking fights, y/n. I'm tired, "Oscar said, clearly annoyed. Is not that you always fought or had a toxic relationship, no. but lately, things got harder between you two. Stupid fights now and then. Dead silence that creeps you out everytime. Coldness was the new dynamic you had going on. And it hurts.
Everyday hurts lately.
“Oscar, I'm not always picking fights. For fucks sake, just wanted to know why you are so cold all the time to me!” you didn't want to raise your tone but desperation never took the best out of you. He was shocked, his head disapproving. Probably done with all of this. Done with you. You didn't want to admit it but maybe it was true. 
“I'm not being cold to you, y/n. I already explained it to you: I'm tired. My job it's complicated enough to come home to be even more complicated. Just stop” he said leaving the kitchen, leaving you behind hanging in your words. That made you so you followed him down to the living room. 
“Oscar, don't leave me talking alone, please! Why do you always have to run away? I have feelings actually you know? I would love to express them to my lover so we can have a proper conversation, what do you think about that?”
“y/n, bullshit. Don't act like I'm a monster who doesn't listen to you. If i didnt we wouldn't have this argument. Stop playing the victim for once. You don't hear me out either anyway” he gritted his teeth trying not to follow you down with your anger. He didn't want to raise his voice towards you. 
“Playing victim? You're an impossible oscar. I only asked you a fucking question, what did i do wrong for you to ignore me and act so cold? And you said you're just tired and that's bullshit” you were so angry by now. Offended. Hurt by his words. Hurt by the fact you were happy once and now everything is falling apart. You never hurt this deep before. 
“It's not!” he couldn't anymore with all of this. He didn't want to raise his voice but you made him feel exasperated. “You see? You don't trust me! Im telling you im just tired and you say its bullshit and then you play the victim card that i dont listen to you and im a fucking monster? I see how things go now. I'm done” he didn't even want to look at you. He just sat on the sofa looking at the floor. But you heard what he said under his breath. What you were most scared of what’s happening. 
You started crying out of desperation, anxious that all of this was gonna end right there and then. You just left him there and went back to the kitchen as if that way he wouldn't see nor hear you crying. You just couldn't keep talking or being around him. Your heart was sinking.
He sighed frustrated and stood up sprinting to his studio and banging the door. You gasped hearing the door closing so violently. No that he noticed what he said. Nor that he cared you thought he didnt care you anymore, that was for sure. 
(...)
You haven't talked to Oscar since yesterday. He didn't sleep at your shared apartment. He said he didn't want to see you. That hurt a lot. Your heart was already broken. You didn't know what to do anymore. You've been on this rabbit hole for several months. You didn't understand what broke between you or when it was. You felt confused, lonely and scared. What would your whole life be without him? Once, you only wrote love songs because what you felt for him was beyond what your body could handle so you needed to take it out. Now, you didn't write anything for months. You felt too much sadness, it felt like you didn't feel anything at all. Just emptiness. 
You were playing with your food, not really that hungry that you thought you would be. Another night alone without him. Would life be like this when he gets rid of me? I don't wanna leave. 
The doorbell rang. You frowned, not sure who it could be knowing it was almost 10pm and I couldn't sleep (just as yesterday and every time you had an argument with him). You looked through the little visor of the door seeing your boyfriend was back home. But telling from the look on his face, things wouldn't be better anyway. You opened the door after taking a deep breath not sure if you would survive another fight. 
You two just looked at each other for a few seconds. Probably analyzing how you were feeling now that 2 days have passed by. Neither of you smiled. Not that you had the energy or a reason to anymore. You moved from the door so he could get into the apartment and closed the door once he was in. 
“Did I wake you up?” he asked quietly. You swallowed hard not knowing what to say by this point.
“I can't sleep since you are gone, so. No, you didn't” you didn't want to sound cold, especially after you fought because he was acting like that with you,but you felt like shit and didnt have energy to pretend you were okay with it all. You felt miserable. He nodded without saying a word and looked at the floor for a moment. 
After a moment of really uncomfortable silence you broke it with something you didn't even think would slip out your mouth “are you seeing someone else, oscar?” your words cut through him as if they were sharp glass pieces just thrown directly at him. 
“What?” He was surprised and hurt that you thought about him like that. You shrug.
“I mean, it's not that you don't kiss me anymore, so.and i think you're not tired because of your job, i think you're just bored of me, tired of me, done with me” you sat on the kitchen table again. He followed you there but stayed standard. He was confused and hurt now. 
“When did I ever say that to you?” he was tired of all of this, for sure. But he wanted to make things work with you. He just didn't know how to.  It was hard for him to understand you, but he was trying. He finally sat in front of you staring at your plate. It was full, you kept playing with your doodles, pretending to eat like you used to. He felt so guilty for all of this. He knew at that moment. That he broke you. He didn't know how or when but he did. His face softened in sadness.
“You said it. You said you were done and you know what? I get it. I mean, it's not as if I am easy to love. I know I'm complicated and a pain in the ass for everyone so I wouldn't be surprised if you found someone else that makes you happy for real and you don't wanna tell me out of pity. I'm ready to hear it though. Just say it” your voice was empty and plain no emotion detected just numbness. He didn't want to think it was too late. It Has been a long time since he has seen you like this. At that time it wasn't him who made you feel like it. 
“I didn't mean to say it, y/N. I Was tired because of work and fighting with you. I don't like fighting with you. I wanna make things right, please. I wouldn't ever do that to you, you know it” he explained desperate for a moment. He wanted you to believe him. But your face didn't say anything. He couldn't read you and made him scared. You looked unbothered, way far gone now.  
You shook your head “i know you mean it and i know you are tired, but i don't think you really want to be with me anymore” your sincerity cut like a knife in both of you. Like, you over thought a lot about it but it still hurt. He was lost and didn't know what was going on anymore or was going through all of that. “You didn't deny it either” you continued.
“I'm not with anyone else, y/N, please” he cut you off with his deep voice, kind of cracky now. 
(...) 
You just didn't know how you ended up moaning his name once more. His mouth is in your centre. His hands are grabbing your tights. Your fingers on his hair.
How easy is it, right? To love someone. One moment, you destroy them.. Then, you fix them with makeup sex. Making them see the stars so they forget how shitty things are. So that pleasure it's more important than gentle affection. Always pretending to be sane then doing insane shit like this as if memory didn't exist when it came to you and him. As if feeling him inside you was the only thing that could fix your mind. That it was the only way to communicate properly. As if it was your love language, then ignore each other. 
His hands of your body grabbing you as if you were about to break and he was trying to keep all of your pieces together. As if he could save you or your relationship that was already 10 feet down buried. He would like to think sex could fix it. That it was the best way to communicate if then you didn't trust him. He was hurt and you didn't trust him. You were hurt because he didn't love you anymore. Unfortunately, your minds couldn't agree. You were the love of his life, he wanted to help and make you trust him. But you just didn't, you already convinced yourself he didn't love you anymore and that everyone was better than you. He wanted a team when you just wanted to run away from him. Or from yourself?
「 ✦ Destruction ✦ 」
“I'm done with you for real, y/n! Everytime an important day comes for me, you just like to ruin it!” He was mad as hell. Fed up with all your bullshit. 
“You really think I do it on purpose? oscar! “ He left the room so you started following him around your shared apartment. “I wouldn't if you didn't ignore like you always do! I don't know what to do anymore! Nothing seems enough for you!” you started crying out. Your heart couldn't take it anymore and this time it felt different. So much different than any time before.
“Why is it always my fault? Why am I always the one doing something wrong? The only thing you do is complain about me and then you just want me to kiss you?! You are insane!” His words cut you deep, so deep you thought they cut you in half and you were nothing anymore. You couldn't breathe for a moment. He called you insane just the way your parents made you feel your whole life. Maybe they were right after all. You deserved all of those years in a psychiatric hospital. You deserved even when he
 was the first one to say your parents were monsters and you were more than okay. More than normal. More than lovable. How ironic, right?You wanted to laugh but couldn't. You just couldn't move. 
Oscar realised what he said. He knew when he saw you. He felt terrible at that moment.
“Look, y/n i-” you cut him not wanting to listen to him anymore. 
“Dont talk” you said shaky under your breath. You had to sit down on the sofa because you felt you were about to faint. In shock - a lot of moments of your relationship replayed in your head. How could someone who said he loved you more than anything and anyone, end up thinking just as your parents? It was your fault. Of course it was. How could you ever think someone would love you? You were miserable. How can someone love a miserable person? 
Oscar started breathing heavily and he had to sit on the floor trying to calm down. He is always so collected and rational, these kinds of feelings he had never experienced, not even with his ex. 
“We can't be together Oscar, I make you miserable. And you're right. I'm insane, how could someone love me right? No one wants to deal with my bullshit, not even myself” you said quietly. His throat closed for a moment. He remained in silence for a few seconds processing your words. You didn't look at each other, you couldn't. Guess this was it. How sad, right? Oscar started crying realizing what was about to come.
“I promise y/N, I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it that way. You aren't hard to love, actually the opposite. But yeah, i don't think this is working for us anymore whether i like it or not” he said wiping his tears away of his face as he could. 
You nodded even though you didn't hear a word he said. It was over. Your life is over.
「 ✦ time heals it all, right? ✦ 」
It's been exactly 8 months and 25 days since you and Oscar were not together anymore. Yes, you had a countdown. You created it to see how far you’ll survive because you didn't believe you would last this much. You thought your life was over and for a few weeks it was. You didn't get out of bed. The break up depression, i guess. Your friends suggested you go back to therapy because they were really worried about you and your mental health. They knew how much Oscar meant to you: he was your everything. And to be honest, that was your first mistake going into the relationship with him. 
You shouldn't have made him your everything because you were nothing suddenly when you left. You didn't know who you were without him, what you liked or what you would like to be. All of your future plans had him in them. There wasn't a future without him. He was everywhere in your life. You shaped your destiny around him. You wanted to get married and have kids with him. And you never wanted to be a mother but he had changed that until he was gone. 
You couldn't go back to dating. You tried but failed every time. You were a little too afraid to get hurt again. You had to work through your insecurities and traumas first. There was a lot of your history that needed to be let go. You needed to go through really ugly times in your past to find some perspective. Forgive yourself, putting yourself first, understanding yourself. You just worked on knowing you and becoming the person you always wanted. 
And you grew and changed so much. You felt proud of yourself. You started writing again. Creating was the best way to mourn your relationship with Oscar alongside your old self that left him. To mourn that part of you that is gone forever. Creating was what kept you sane all this time. What brought you back to life. You wrote so many songs about him. Blaming you, blaming him. Blaming the universe for not putting it easier on you. 
So music, once again, saved your life. 
Oscar’s life changed drastically. Not only by the fact he didn't have you anymore on the paddock to cheer him on, but also he didn't have you in his apartment to share his life with. He missed you everyday he woke up to an empty bed. Mourning what you had changed him forever. He blamed himself for not knowing how to get to you, how to understand you and be able to help you through it. So he started reading about psychology to learn how to understand people better. He wanted to improve his emotional intelligence. He knew that maybe you wouldn't be there anymore, probably forever, but at least he could be better to the people around him. 
He didn't date anyone. His way of mourning was trying not to think about it occupying his space and time with work and training and racing and reading. He couldn't do anything else.  
He always found himself not being able to think, wondering where you were and especially how you were. After that night, you went to cero contact. And he knew it was the best, but he couldn't get you out of his head yet. He felt guilty knowing that he can understand your needs better when it's a little too late. He just wished to press rewind and do it again but the right way this time. He knew it was impossible and that dug a hole in his heart. He knew that it would be there forever. You were the love of his life. He really thought he couldn't love anyone that way, ever again. You were a force of nature for him. Blowing him away every single time. 
You never went back to races. He knew how much you adored the sport and how in another life you would have loved to be an engineer. You dreamed of one day to see a woman on the podium. You actually sponsored two girls from F1 Academy. The boys didn't see you again either. Actually he knew you did see lando a few times because you two became really close during your relationship, but lando always lied and told him that he didn't see you. He knew Lando was trying to be a good friend. He even tried to introduce Oscar to some girls but it never worked. He tried though. But he found himself thinking that he was kissing it was you. It was heartbreaking to see. He was kind of stuck on you. 
So he decided he would take his time to grow and figure out who he was by himself. Find comfort in his own company. Doing dates  by himself. He found it cringe to call it that way but his therapist insisted on calling it that way so he could deprogram himself from you and anything and everything related to you. 
He was proud of himself though. He was doing alright again, actually enjoying his job, his friends, and his own company. He even won races, he did podiums and everything he dreamed of. But still, he hoped you didn't feel like you needed to leave to let him shine. He wished you were there every time to hug you and shower you in  champagne. 
He really missed you in his life.
「 ✦ Too far gone, don’t know where we started ✦ 」
So here you were more than a year later at the Azerbaijan GP 2024. The Mercedes team invited you as a star guest so you came with your friend because alone you would have died. Actually, before coming to the paddock you had an anxiety attack and if it wasn't for your friend who made sure you felt safe and okay to go, you would’ve been on a plane back home. It was the first time since you broke up with Oscar you felt okay enough to be able to go through it. You were invited by different teams at least 15 times now. But you always lied and said you couldn't make it. You just needed to stay at home or the studio writing as far as possible from oscar and anything related to him. But you went through all of that with your therapist and she said that if you liked the sport and you really enjoyed races or anything related to it, you shouldn't let Oscar or the thought of him or what happened, deprive you of it. 
It was sunday, you preferred not to come on friday or saturday just because there were more possibilities you would bump into him. And you just weren't ready to see him. The race was insane so far. Actually, Oscar was doing more than okay. Your heart was pounding, you could hear it loud and clear. Your best friend held your hand all the time in that garage so you don't forget she’s there for you. And that you’re okay.  You knew you shouldn't be afraid of him because he was an angel. But you were scared of yourself and how would you handle that situation. You came to terms that actually, everything that happened between him and you, it was that your insecurities just made everything so toxic that he couldn't handle it all. It didn't feel good when you realised that but it is what it is. You didn't know better and forgiving yourself for that was the hardest part of the process. 
You squeezed your best friend's hand, it was the last lap. Your heart is almost out of your body. You are wearing an old Oscar hoodie. You really liked it, plus you came here looking like shit in your opinion. You didn't even brush your hair nor that you needed it like before, now your hair is super short. Everyone in the garage was watching closely and before you could actually process what you ‘ve just seen. Your friends shouted “omg” in unison not believing what they saw.
Destiny had its twisted ways to be honest. Osca won the race. he won. You were just shocked. 
You were here and he won, like, what are the chances of that to happen actually? First race you’re back and he wins. and in that way. Your friends hugged you. 
“Holy shit that 's really insane shit” Nikola said, watching the screens at the garage. 
“We need to go guys, i don't wanna see him, please” you didn't know why you started to panic like that. Sonny looked at Nikola and just got you out of there. 
At the Mercedes hospitality you felt safe while the celebrations were held. There was no reason or chance Oscar walked into the Mercedes building, right?  You were drinking some coffee with you girls trying to focus on the conversation about any other driver but Oscar, just around strategy and stuff. You were trying really hard but you couldn't stop thinking about the fact that maybe he could come into you any time. Now that you see destiny hates you. 
“y/N, you okay bestie?”Sonny tried to get you out of your drawing though by touching your arm so she could catch your attention back to reality. 
“Oh yeah, I was just thinking,” you said, adjusting yourself on the chair. Nikola looked worried. 
“y/n, we can go if you need to. We don't want you to feel uncomfortable, okay? Just tell us” she said, comprehensively describing the situation and her friend's feelings. You licked your dry lips.
Before you could answer her someone interrupted you. 
“y/, is it you?” that. Fucking. Voice. Your friends’ eyes widen as surprised as you were. You turned to the voice to find, in fact, your ex boyfriend watching you so confused. You were speechless for a moment. He looked so pretty and sweaty. His eyes are shining brighter than ever you have seen. 
“Oh, hi oscar. Yeah, it’s me” you tried to play it cool but to be fair, you felt the butterflies on your stomach just like the first time you met him at that  birthday party you didn't want to go to. But luckilyyou did. Destiny is always playing dirty for you. Or geniously. You didn't know anymore. He smiled widely.
“Oh, wow, hi, yeah. I didn't know you were coming” he said nervously. Your friends looked at each other noticing. 
“I was invited by George, actually. I almost didn't come tho. How crazy, you win right? You did an amazing race. "You were surprised that you could even have a proper conversation with him while your heart was hurting out of anxiety, nervousness and butterflies were everywhere. 
Oscar Felt his chest tighter. His stomach was happy to see you, he knew. “Thank you,” he said sweetly. You looked so pretty under the light of the Mercedes building. You were his hoodie, your favorite, but he didn't know if it was appropriate to mention it. Your hair was so short and looked so beautiful on you. It actually made you look prettier. Your face was the face of an angel, he always thought that. But with that haircut it only intensified your perfection. He felt stupid. Just like the first time he saw you at that party he wasn't even invited directly. Destiny always played on his favour with you, until that night. He didn't even want to remember it. You looked so different yet you felt the same. Your perfume was the same, he knew. It’s the one he gifted you on your 6 month anniversary. You used to celebrate each month. 
An awkward silence makes its presence between you two, not knowing what else to say or comment. 
“Congrats oscar on the win” sonny tried to save you from misery right there capturing oscar’s attention. He smiled gently, thanking her and nikola. He recognized them and gave them a hug. He seemed happy to see them. You smiled remembering your nights playing uno and drinking wine and baking canela rolls when winter break came around. You Missed him more than you’ve ever thought you would. And something inside you just felt exactly the same you always felt with him. He altered the chemistry in your brain so easily it was kind of scary. 
“Hey osc! Zac wants to talk to you! What are you doing here?” Lando Norris came into the building as well. He was your friend. when he saw who Oscar was, he grinned. “Hey, bestie, whatchu doing here?” he said happily, giving you a comforting hug. He was genuinely surprised because you didn't even tell you. He suspected Oscar was here because George told him you were here. He can't keep secrets. And he knew it was George because he was sure Lewis didn't even know you. 
“George invited us,” you explained after he stepped back.
“Okay let's go, great to see you girl. Hope to see you around more often "Oscar said while looking directly at you in the last sentence to then disappear dragging Lando out of the hospitality. Your friends looked at you and you looked at them.
“I need a whole vodka bottle down my throat right now” you sentence, making them laugh. But you didn't. You felt scared of what you felt a few moments ago. 
(...)
New year is here. You were invited along with your friends by lando to his beginning of the year party here in Monaco. And oh you knew Oscar was gonna be there. Of course, he is one of his closest friends also.
This time you felt more calm and collected around the fact you were going to see him again. I think being drunk was the thing you were thanked for. If something felt rare,you would drink straight vodka or tequila and the problem was solved. You didn’t even have to think about it. 
Your friend helped choose the sexiest dress for you. It was a satin white little dress with broderie endings. Pretty subtle but at the same time suggesting. Just how you were. Angel face, dirty minded. Problem was you couldn't date people because of the Oscars. Because since you saw him those seconds in Azerbaijan, you couldn't stop seeing his shiny eyes and beautiful smile every time you close your eyes. You didn't interact all of this time, you didn't even follow each other on social media. 
Mystery drove you I guess. And who could blame you? It was Oscar Piastri, the one you had to forget. But I just couldn't. You missed his touch, his breath, his voice, his lips. 
Your friend took you out of your thoughts telling you they needed to go to the bathroom. You Followed them around the party up to the toilets. They got in but you decided to wait outside because the music was just so good you wanted to enjoy it. You always wished you could write a party song but it isn't your thing at all. Nor you didn't have the personality for it. You were too deep of a person. You needed to cut deep. Be someone to suffer along with. Or at least that’s how you perceive yourself as an artist. 
“y/N?” not that voice again. That damn voice. Though this time you were waiting for it. You looked up to find a drunk Oscar in front of you. You were breathless for a moment. How can a man become so much hotter in just a year? You smiled at him feeling your strawberry lip gloss. 
“Hoy, osc. What’s up?” you said easily. The alcohol made it easier actually. When he smiled you almost died. You Adored his smile since that party you didn't even want to go to. You thought you fell in love with him just right there. Just right here…?
“I was looking for Danny, have you seen him?” he said normally, ignoring his heart, almost skipping a beat when he saw you in that short white dress. He hoped not to be drooling in your face. Since he saw you again, he couldn't get you out of his head. You were everyday hunting him. He wanted to text you but he wasn't sure if he should. You seem so happy now, he didn't want to ruin it. He convinced himself that probably the best for you was staying away from him as much as possible. At the end of the day, he was the reason you hurt, right? Or he wanted to believe that. 
For a moment you watched his lips talking to you. His drunk voice always turned you on. But you couldn't show it. Not anymore. You looked back at his eyes. Half smile on your face while shaking your head “no, i didn't. Iwas waiting for my friends that are in the bathroom” you explained and he nodded. 
“Well, I'll keep looking then. See you around” he told you to go back into the crowd to look for his friends. Hesaw the way you looked at his lips. He had to be the stronger one. It was better this way. As much as he wanted to eat you out right there and then.
He hurt you. He didn't understand you. He didn't deserve you. He made sure to protect you from himself. Even though all he wanted was to be with you.
「 ✦ the (your) truth is out ✦ 」
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liked by sabrinacarpenter, user456, landonorris and 1,543,678 others
yourusername: i'm so excited to finally tell you our biggest secret! my new ep 'almost said i miss you' will be out february 14 <3 (trying to resignificate the date lol) these songs are really important to me and i can't wait till they finally become yours. thank u to the bestest bestie in the worl for guiding me and helping me through it all, it wouldn't have been possible without you. and you guys for the support, you don't know how much you mean to me :,) thank you for listening to my music since day one. i feel so lucky! see you in a few weeks :D
tagged: sabrinacarpenter, y/nhq
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sabrinacarpenter: so proud of you baby, my fav artist forever. just keep smiling! it's so beautiful to see you happy <3
nikolabff: we are so proud of you gorgeous! the prettiest songs I’ve ever heard 🥹
sonnybff: girl you always serve, thank you for sharing your art to the world I admire you like crazy. So proud of you baby, I love you <3
user489: 'trying to resignificate the date' WHY AM I SOBBING AT WORK
User99: THE TRACKLIST 😭😭😭😭😭
↳ user87: “I miss you, I’m sorry” I CHOKED
user45: it hurt
user12: so excited
landonorris: can`t wait for the world to cry their eyes out just like i did when i heard them :( (it still hurt and I cry before falling asleep)
�� nikolabff: bro same 😭😭😭
↳ maxverstappen: babygirl
↳ landonorris: get outta here 😡
georgerussel: I know who will cry listening to this
↳ danielricciardo: @/oscarpiastri
↳ landonorris: @/oscarpiastri
↳ sonnybff: guys knock it the fuck off
hattiepiastri: so prod of you girl! Can’t wait to listen to it!
↳ user67: NOT HIS SISTER OMG
↳ user08: I don’t wanna be delusional but girl you
don’t help
↳ user134: they NEED to get back together I don’t
wanna suffer anymore I know Hattie
wants it too 😭
user1: I’m not alright knowing these are for oscar tbh IM DEAD and I haven’t even listened to them yet
taylorswift: and artist of the year goes to…
olivirodrigo: my day to day inspiration
user975: I love girls supporting girls
user56: @/f1gossipofficial is there something about this you’d like to share????
「 ✦ The aftermath - february 14 ✦ 」
Oscar was back to the UK training for the beginning of the new season. It was the coldest winter he experienced. He got back home from mclaren hq. He took a hot shower to warm himself. His apartment was silent. It felt empty for the first time. Like something was missing. He went straight into bed. He wasn't that hungry anyway, but he was tired indeed. 
“Hey, listen to it. I think you need to” 
He saw his sister Hattie's notification pop up on his screen confusing him abit. He went into the messages app and opened his sister’s. When he did he understood what she was talking about. A knot on this throat formed. It was y/n ep. Guess he now understood taylor swift’s exes. It’s hard to date a musician ust because of the aftermath of the relationship. 
“Just do it. You will understand why once you did” 
Another message popped up on this screen and sighed heavily. Probably his sister was right but at the same time he was scaredas fuck. He opened it on spotify, she looked as pretty as ever on the cover of it. ‘Almost said I miss you’ - that was the title and only had 3 songs. By the names of them he suspected it was about him but he tried to believe they weren't even though his sister already told him that they were. He decided to listen to it in order.
He took his headphones from his nightstand so he could hear your voice clearly. All over his head. Cutting deep into his fiber. 
The first piano tiles started playing and his heart was already sinking. Hearing her voice so raw and close and clear sent shivers down his spine. He heard every single word you said. It described perfectly that horrible and forgettable night you broke up. Hearing your voice crack broke his heart into a million pieces. It wasn't even half of the song when he started crying. He knew what he said under his breath that sent you both straight into hell. He felt so guilty about everything. He really just wished to talk to you. 
When he started to hear the second song he knew it was about that race you went. He hoped to see you in the next one, and the next one. But you didn't go again. The lyrics were so real his skin felt every word. 
When he heard you saying that you felt sorry his tears streamed down his face more violently. He didn't recognize this person. But you always had this effect on him. With you he was a feeler, one that felt way too deeply. Unlike the person he shows to people. You always knew the real him. He couldn't lie to you. Even though you thought he would cheat on  you. He would never. Hearing you wanting to hold him broke his heart. Why did you both have to do this the hard way? Why didn't you just be happy with each other? He really missed you. He missed everything about you. Your presence around him. He was his best version with you. Now he feels like a ghost of who he used to be. 
The last song just ended him. 
‘Do you remember being happy together? I do, don't you? Then all of the sudden, you’re sick to your stomach. Is that still true?’ he whipped his tears the best he could. 
You never called her or told her you missed her. But he guessed you would have liked it like that. 
‘everything i know brings me back to us. Everywhere I go leads me back to you’ he felt the same. 
He didn't know what to do. He had a battle inside him. He promised himself he would stay away from you so you could be happy just like you deserved. But at the same time he wanted to be happy and he knew you made him happy. He was happy with you. 
“So? Call her please oscar. You both deserve to be happy and figure things out along the way, together”
Hattie read his mind. Her text just in time when he is back into the silent apartment. The empty and cold apartment that once was full of laughter and music because you were with him. He missed you so much. He missed hearing you play guitar rumbling words then writing them down. You hugged when he was back home, you cuddled in bed when he was sad, your perspective on things. He missed every detail about you.
But was he ready to come back to you?
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘ ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘ ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
author's note: SO I DELETED IT BY MISTAKE AND I HAD TO REDO IT :(((((((( i've never been this sad but I hope you like it anyway. (This like a 2.0 version) it's the longest fic i've ever written and i love it sm :,) oscar piastri i deeply love you.
idk if I should do a part 2, should I?
also shout to to my international friends nikola and sonny, you girls at the best mwak mwak 💌
don't forget to like, reblog or comment! and follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together)
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maodear · 3 days ago
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This is me yapping about alien stage to its fullest. I Mostly yap abt round 7 and the video All-in
Till is alive. I think. Because in the end of round 7, his little stupid picture flicks. And his earpiece that probably tracks his heart rate ((checking on his breathing probably??) fell out. So that’s why it flickers since the alien doesn’t know if he’s still alive or not.
SO. HYUNA & MIZI CAN GRAB HIS ASS AND RUN AWAY. ((And I guess Luka too..)
Though realistically, I think Till will survive due to him having such a big role in alien stage. I don’t think Vivinos is THAT evil to let him die, if Ivan already sacrificed himself.
But I do think that Hyuna and Luka will definitely go against each other. (Or what if Till survives and goes against Mizi or smth.. and Hyuna goes against Luka. ???) because 3 is a odd number. (Yeah I didn’t know) Having 3 go against each other would be difficult. Why have 3 when you could get 4? And two more bonus rounds am I right? ((Please leave till alone. He’s my son. Yes I am his mom. Canon.)
Mizi and Hyuna will definitely get captured. No way they will be able to get out of a stage. FILLED with aliens all round. No way. Unless Dewey & Issac bomb the whole place and happy ending.
One of the most anticipated to happen is Hyuna and Luka going against each other. Maybe finally would Luka will show fear? And crack his “perfect” appearance. I would love to see him break because of Hyuna.
As much as I love Hyuluka. It cannot work, because Luka (maybe?) killed Hyunas brother. I have no idea how Hyuna could possibly forgive him.
Unless.. he didn’t? ((Which he probably did but let me cook. I want some hope.)
((Yes he probably did. But I want to put this theory somewhere)
In Hyunas All-in video, during the flashback to the Hyun-woo and Luka “fight” Luka was bleeding from the side of his head,but when looking at Hyun-woo’s hand. He had no blood on his hand? What if the fight was started by Hyun-woo? Possibly since Luka was rather odd to Hyuna. I don’t think Luka would start a fight, due to his conditions. It doesn’t click in my mind for him to fight. What if Hyun-woo hit him on the rock first? I mean hyun-woo didn’t have any blood on his hand. The whole scene isn’t shown. We don’t el know what fully happened. Not saying Hyun-woo is in the bad AT ALL. If he did, then Luka for sure deserved it. And maybe a fight broke out. Causing Luka to kill Hyun-woo.
Luka probably wasn’t that old in that time. Most can be 15. At that age, no matter what. The feeling of killing is horrid. Yes maybe Luka did intend to hurt him. But not kill him. Has it been shown in comics. It did show that Luka and Hyun-woo would fight and Hyuna would break them up. I mean boys usually fight. Look and Ivan and Till.
I read a theory that said Luka might have PBA. Which causes you to laugh,smile or giggle in inappropriate situations. Even if you don’t truly find it funny or even if you’re actually horrified. 
And do remember that Heperu taught Luka to overcome Fear. Possibly he messed up Luka that much, to make him laugh or smile even if he is truly scared. (Which also explains why he is also shown trembling.)
No way am I saying Luka is innocent. He’s a bitch but I feel like people do forget that he is also a victim as everyone else. Alien stage is a fucked up show, which Vivinos will not let us be happy 😭 We can only be happy in the Actor Au..
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ripdragonbeans · 2 days ago
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Love In The Darkest Of Places // Modern!Aemond x Reader
Chapter 4: Freedom
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Summary: You and Aemond are in college now, which presents itself with its own new challenges. One you didn't expect, however, was cutting off your family.
TW: unhealthy family dynamic
Masterlist
Chapter 3 // Chapter 5
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The thought of jeopardizing your relationship with Aemond was too scary to even consider. As much as you wanted to say yes, to be his, you knew there was no way to guarantee you would stay together. At least with this friendship there was no way of messing it up. Or at least you hoped. Your heart and soul yearned for him but your brain was terrified. The risk that came with being in a serious relationship was too great, according to your brain. Your heart and soul said to hell with it, to jump into the deep end, but in the end you were too afraid.
For the rest of high school that’s how you two were: best friends. Never once did either of you waver. Not once did either of you date. There was an unspoken arrangement that you would wait for each other. Of course, since Aemond made his move after that regrettable double date, it would be up to you.
“Do you wish we could be together?” you asked him one night. You were spending the night in his dorm room. It wasn’t the first time you’ve asked the question.
“You know my answer,” Aemond replied, never looking away from the television screen.
It was movie night and as per usual, you stayed in his dorm. High school seemed so far away yet it was almost as though it was yesterday. The double date with Cregan had always stayed in your mind. That Monday afterwards did, too. 
“I feel like I'm playing you,” you admitted to Aemond. 
“If you actually were, I don't think you'd be worried about it.” He looked at you and smiled. “I'll wait however long and if we only stay friends then that's okay too. You're my best person in the world. Together forever, remember?”
“Yeah, together forever.”
Silence.
“What if…” you started, “what if there's someone else out there for you?”
“The only person I want is you. If someone else finds me then maybe you ran out of time.”
“What if… what if I find someone else?” 
“Then I'll let you go. I'll do whatever to make you happy.” Aemond reached for your hand and squeezed it. He looked out the dorm window. “It's getting late. Do you want me to walk you back to your house or?” He left the question hanging.
“I think I'll go back to my house alone” you replied. It hurt your heart to leave him but you did so anyway.
Aemond’s face fell when you gave his answer. He simply nodded and got up to let you out of his dorm. 
“You know I -” you began to say.
“Don't worry about it,” Aemond said with a tight smile. “I understand.” 
And with that he closed the door.
You couldn't help but press your forehead against the door. You knew you should head back to your own dorm but you couldn't bring yourself to do so. Your feet refused to move and the thought of leaving Aemond alone in his room hurt your heart. 
So you let yourself stay there. 
You could hear Aemond through the door a tiny bit. You wondered if he felt as conflicted as you. A small mirthless laugh left you. Of course he felt conflicted. You were the one making him wait. Taking a deep breath, you pulled yourself up and headed out of the dorm and to your family’s house.
Unlike Aemond’s loving family, yours refused to pay for a dormitory. You had to walk or grab a ride home at the end of every day. Normally you would ask Aemond or Helaena for a ride but you wanted to be alone right now. Asking Aemond after this movie night was out of the question as well. So instead, you basked in the brisk cold night as you made your way back to the house.
When you arrived at the house you didn't bother announcing your presence. It wouldn't have been met with anything kind anyway, if it even received a reply. While the interior was warm and welcoming to everyone else, it was cold and lonely for you. Stepping inside the building, you toes off your shoes and shrugged off your coat before retreating into your bedroom. It was your safe haven in this place. 
Plopping down on the bed, you let out a groan. The day had been going perfectly well until you told Aemond it felt as though you were playing him. You were just too scared for yourself and for him. You didn't want either of you to get hurt in any way. Gods forbid the pain is caused by you or him. You hugged a pillow, wishing it was Aemond. Soon enough, sleep found you.
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You walked down a cold, empty hallway. Your footsteps echoed against the walls. You didn't know where you were going; you were just walking. One thing you did notice, however, was the deep pit in your stomach. Something was going to happen but you didn't know what. And it would be something big. 
Soon, the walls became grand. Wallpaper were plastered on and large portraits of your family lined them. Your parents looked regal, of course. If it were another time you thought they would even be royalty. Then came the portraits of your brothers, Jace and Luke. 
Ever since Luke took Aemond's eye, you’ve cut him off. You avoided him, refused to talk to him, and have even left buildings if you found out he was there. There was no love in your heart for Luke, even if you were siblings. You could never forgive him for what he did. Yet here, in his portraits, he looked like a carefree child. So innocent. So wrong.
Jace’s portraits seemed accurate, in your opinion. He was still as charming as ever but you could see underneath him, how he loathed you, how we always craved the attention from mother and father. You smiled cruelly at that thought. He would never have their full attention. It was always on themselves but you let Jace believe that maybe one day their focus would be on him. To an extent you pitied Jace but not enough to make room in your heart to love him. He did nothing while Aemond was hurt and he constantly ridiculed you. No, there was no love.
Soon, there were pictures of Mrs. Alicent, Mr. Criston, Aegon, Helaena, and Jason. Unlike the photos of your family, these were candid, happy photos. They were real and genuine. No fake smiles or practiced poses; just silly faces and love. As you approached each of their photos, you couldn't help but feel joy. You were so happy for them and you wished desperately to be part of that. 
But something was off.
In the bundle of photos with Aemond was another person. Their face was covered or they were always facing away from the camera. Aemond was either grinning ear to ear or looked at that person with…love. The person in question had long, dark, flowing hair. You didn't recognize this person but it did something to your stomach. A pit dropped and it made you want to throw up. 
You kept walking down the hallway.
Suddenly, you heard laughter. Laughter and voices. You pinned down Aemond's but didn't recognize the female one. You didn't like this one bit. Could there be someone else for Aemond?
No. No, that can't be.
You raced down the hallway to find Aemond and this mysterious woman locked in an embrace.
“Aemond?” You asked quietly.
Aemond turned around. “You're too late,” he said. His voice echoed. “I waited for you but you took too long. I found someone else.”
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“No!” You cried. You had woken up in a cold sweat. Looking around, you tried to ground yourself. There is no hallway, no portraits or pictures, no Aemond with some other woman.
You sighed as you heard someone come up to your door. You had an inkling it was one of your brothers.
“Hey, can we talk?” Jace knocked on your door.
You opened it only to reveal your older brother. “What do you want?”
He looked down at his feet. “I wanted to apologize. I've never been the best big brother and that's on me.”
“Okay…” you were confused as to why he was doing this.
“I was talking with my girlfriend, Sara, and she said that we needed to talk so here I am.”
You crossed your arms and leaned on the doorframe. “Talk about what?”
Jace shrugged. “Everything, I guess.”
“...Okay. Give me a minute to get dressed and we can go to the Dorne Café.” You closed the door behind you and got ready.
Within ten minutes you and Jace were out of the door and in his car. The ride to the café was silent. It wasn't tense or anything, just quiet. When you arrived at the café there were a decent amount of people there but not too many. After both of you placed your orders you went to claim a table outside.
Sitting across from each other, you waited for your brother to say something first. You simply looked at each other. In contrast to you, he was waiting for you to speak first. Once again in your life, you were at a stand still with your brother.
Not being able to stand the silence, you broke it. “Okay, I'll bite. You, Luke, mother, and father never wanted to do anything with me. I was always on the side and when I wasn't I was teased and ridiculed.”
“That’s a pretty heavy way to start this,” commented Jace.
“Well, you wouldn't talk first, so I did.”
“I teased you because I was mad. I was upset that you were closer with Aegon, Helaena, and Aemond and not with us. You're my sister. You should've been with me and not them.”
“You weren’t the most welcoming type when it came to me, Jace.”
“That's because I didn't know!”
“That’s a shitty excuse. We could have been closer. We could have had a better relationship.”
“I know and I want to fix it!”
You sighed and put your head on your hands. “Jace, it might be best for us to just go our separate ways. Damage was done and it was constant. I just can't forget all that.”
“Yes, you can. We can start over, pretend that nothing ever happened.”
“But it did happen. My childhood was filled with your constant teasing and mother and father’s neglect. It's forever burned in my mind.”
Jace threw his hands up in the air. “Then what do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know, Jace.” You could feel a lump growing in your throat. You didn't know what to expect on your way to the café but it wasn't this.
He nodded his head. “Okay, then.” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I wasn't a better brother. You deserved to be treated better.”
“I know.”
Silence enveloped the air. No one talked. Only distant conversations and cars speeding by were heard by the two of you.
“I think it’s best if I just go to Helaena’s,” you whispered.
“What about us?”
“What about us? We're ruined Jace. We were never truly brother and sister.” You paused. “I was planning on moving in with Helaena, anyway, she needs a roomie for her apartment. I'll pack up my things over the next few days and I'll be out of everyone's hair.”
“If that's what you want.”
“I'm sorry, Jace. I truly am.”
Both of you were slow to pick up your trash. It was as though you were savoring these last few moments. When Jace dropped you off at Helaena’s apartment he walked you to the door.
“Maybe one day we’ll get better,” he said.
“Maybe.” You were hesitant but you gave him a hug. “Goodbye, Jace.”
Once he left and his car had gone out of view, you knocked on the door.
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“Coming!” Came Helaena’s dreamy voice. She opened the door and wrapped you in a big hug. After letting you go she said, “I read your text, I'm so excited for you to move in! It'll be just us. No boys to stink up the place.”
“Believe me, I'm so excited.” You tried to smile but it faltered.
Helaena furrowed her brows. “What's wrong?” She pulled you into the apartment.
Once you were seated on the couch you told her everything that had transpired between you and Jace. 
“It was a goodbye and it was upsetting but it was also freeing in a way.”
Helaena nodded her head. “I understand.”
“I’m not looking forward to moving all my stuff out. I just don’t really want to go back there.”
“I’ll be with you every step of the way, I promise,” Helaena said. “And we can ask Aemond and Aegon to join us, too. They would keep your family away from us.”
You laughed mirthlessly. “You know, my mother still thinks Luke was in the right. She thinks that Aemond deserved to lose his eye. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m related to her.”
“That’s sick,” Helaena agreed.
“Gods, what even is my family?”
“A mess. They’re a giant mess. But,” she paused. “You have us. You have me, my mother and father, and Aemond and Aegon. We will always be with you.”
“I used to be so scared that you guys would push me away; especially after Aemond lost his eye.”
“Why would you think that?”
You shrugged. “I felt responsible and guilty. I blamed myself and believed that you guys would later blame me, too.”
“Don't be ridiculous. That will never happen. I promise.” Helaena pulled you into a hug.
Gratefully, you returned it. “I talked to Aemond this morning.”
“And?”
“I'm just so torn, Hel. I want to be with him but I don't want to risk our friendship.”
“You know I think you should take the leap but I can't make that decision for you. You have to do it yourself.”
Your thoughts moved to your dream. “What if there's someone else for him? Someone better than me?”
“I honestly can't see Aemond with anyone else but you. You two have been through it all. And,” she paused and obviously glanced at your collar bone. “You're still wearing the necklace after all these years.”
You brought your hand up to rub the gem between your fingers. It was an action that you developed whenever you got stressed. 
“Look, you even mess with the necklace whenever something is wrong because it calms you. Aemond calms you.”
“It’s all so much.”
“You know what I think, but I want you to do it on your own terms. If you need more time, then take it.”
You took Helaena’s hands in your own. “Thank you.”
She squeezed your hands before letting them go to clap them together. “Now, shall we start moving in now or tomorrow?”
You huffed out a laugh. “I think tomorrow will be fine. We can give the boys a heads up tonight and just chill.”
“I love that idea.” She looped her arm through yours and led you to your soon to be room.
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Moving in with Helaena was a breeze, thankfully. You didn’t have much to take out from your parents’ house. Jace actually stepped in to help a little bit but said nothing when doing so. When you left with your things, all he did was give you a small nod. 
You had officially cut ties with your family.
You were free.
The air felt fresher. The grass was greener. Your mother, father, and brothers no longer loomed over you. Taking a deep breath, you smiled as you looked around your room. No one would steal anything from you. You had a whole apartment you shared with one of your closest friends. Everything was right. Everything except the hole in your heart.
Pacing the room, you went through the war in your head, trying to choose if you should talk to Aemond or not. The worst he could say was no but that would be too much. Even though the chances of him saying no is almost nonexistent. Still, the risk was there and that terrified you. Putting your gears aside, you dialed Aemond’s number and called him. 
The phone barely rang before Aemond answered.
“Are you okay?” he immediately asked.
“Yeah, I'm okay. I guess I just wanted to talk to you,” you admitted. 
“What's up?” He asked again. When you didn't respond he said, “I know something is wrong. You don't call me unless something is really messing with you.”
Sighing, you nodded your head until you realized he couldn't see you. “Can I come over?”
“Yeah, always.”
You could hear his smile. Aemond always loved it whenever you came to his dorm.
“I'll see you in a bit, Aems.”
“In a bit,” he repeated.
When you asked Helaena to drive you to Aemond's dorm she gave you a knowing smile.
“Are you finally going to tell him?” She asked you.
“I…I don't know but it's in the realm of possibilities,” you said. It was true. You played with the idea of telling him today but you were still scared.
The car ride to Aemond’s dorm was uneventful. Helaena gave you words of encouragement and tried her best to keep you calm. 
“You're going to be okay. Both of you. I've never seen two people who meshed as well as the both of you. Whatever bond you have with him is unbreakable,” Helaena told you.
You wrung your hands together. “Yeah.”
When Helaena pulled up to Aemond’s dorm building he was already out in front waiting for you. His tall frame making him stand out in the emptiness of the walkway. With his hair down and flowing slightly with the breeze he looked ethereal. You could never get over how beautiful he was. 
When Aemond saw you, a smile brightened up his face. You smiled back. It was going to be a good day, you thought to yourself. Stepping out of Helaena’s car, you gave her a quick thank you and tried to control yourself as you walked to Aemond. As soon as you were by his side he pulled you into a hug.
“You've had me worried these last few days,” he admitted.
“And why's that?” You asked him.
“You've pulled away a bit.” He was quiet.
Your eyebrows pinched together. “What do you mean?”
“Once you moved in with Helaena you didn't call or text me much and didn't offer to visit until now.”
“Oh.” You couldn't tell him everything. Not yet. “There's been a lot going on.”
“You don't have to take that on alone,” Aemond reminded you. “I'm here for you. Together forever, yeah?”
You smiled. “Together forever.”
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That night you spent the entirety of it with Aemond. You put on a movie, popped popcorn, and simply enjoyed each other's company. It was as though there was no lingering feelings between you two. It was just you guys. Anyone from the outside would have assumed you were together, and gods, did you wish it was true. Aemond, for sure, wished it was. 
You and Aemond say against the wall on his bed. His arm was casually around you while you snuggled in close. At some point in the night he pulled his hair up in a messy bun. When you tried to braid his hair he swatted your hands away with a goofy grin on his face. 
“Just once!” You pleaded.
“You've already done it once!” Aemond laughed.
“When?” You put your hands on your hips.
Aemond sighed then explained, “Back when we were fourteen. You convinced me to let you braid my hair. It was in knots afterwards.”
Crossing your arms over your chest you muttered, “It wasn't too bad.”
“We needed Helaena’s help.”
Nudging Aemond with your shoulder you told him, “Fine. I won't braid your hair tonight. But let's do something!”
“What if I braided your hair?” 
You raised an eyebrow. “You know how to braid hair?”
“There's a first time for everything,” he shrugged. “It's your turn to have knots,” he bumped you back with his shoulder.
You huffed, “Fine,” and plopped yourself in front of him.
When Aemond ran his hands through your hair, you couldn't help but lean back into him. He gently massaged your scalp before carefully dividing your hair into three sections. 
“Are you sure you know how to do this?” You teased.
Aemond tugged on your hair, sending shivers down your spine. “We're about to find out,” he whispered in your ear.
You couldn't help but flush at his words. Aemond braiding your hair shouldn't be as intimate as this and yet it was. Your relationship has changed since you've both moved on to college. Now, you simply danced around each other.
As Aemond braided your hair, he would tug on it every now and then, causing a bolt of pleasure to shoot through your stomach. 
“Am I hurting you?” Aemond asked when he tugged it for the fourth time.
“No,” you let out breathlessly.
When Aemond finished braiding your hair, you turned around only to find each other nose to nose.
“Aemond?” Whispered.
His violet eye bore into yours before quickly dipping down to your lips and back. “Yes?”
You looked at him and slowly leaned forward. Meeting you in the middle, Aemond captured your lips in his. It was soft. It was tentative. For a second you froze, not knowing what to do, but then Aemond reached up to cup your face and you kissed him back. You moved so you were on your knees in front of him, just now slightly taller than him sitting down. His hands went to your waist and he held on like he never wanted to let go. 
Sitting back on your haunches, you placed your hands on his shoulders. Aemond tensed up slightly but relaxed quickly. The kiss wasn't heated or rushed. It was very slow and calm. You were both waiting and now you finally had each other.
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lanormie · 2 days ago
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blipped - mcu crossover au (pt. 4)
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you're forced to navigate the aftermath of The Blip, where half of the population get thrown back into existence after disappearing for five years. pairing: pro-hero!Shouto x f!pro-hero!reader (ft. slight katsuki x reader) read on AO3 previous part
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For what seemed like hours, you watched Katsuki go through all five stages of grief through his texts. He would go through them in the utmost chaotic order, barely grazing Acceptance before flipping right back to Denial. Anger was the only constant, though maybe it was just Katsuki being Katsuki. 
A casual ‘happy birthday baby’ would go right into him lashing out with fuck-yous and other expletives, then take a dizzying sharp turn with him apologizing profusely and more sweetly than you’d ever expected Katsuki to be. The next minute he would monologue for pages about the most random thing then call you rude for not texting back.
It was after about two years and a half when his laments slowly started to peter out. Acceptance took the driver seat, his spread out texts took on a melancholic overtone instead of pure manic. 
Then it stopped altogether after four years.
* * * * *
You find Shouto in the rear courtyard methodically hanging up freshly laundered clothings and beddings on the clotheslines.
You have stopped questioning a long time ago why the wealthy family of six (plus all the strays they keep taking in, like you for example) doesn’t own a dryer, and instead have come to love the nostalgic scent of line dried clothes.
Thin sheets flutter in the breeze, catching the harsh afternoon sunlight in their undulation. Birdsong twirls and mixes with the sound of wind rustling through crisp autumn leaves in a wordless call and response. Everything is so peaceful, so quiet. Too quiet. It vehemently contradicts the storm brewing inside of you.
You think it’s trying to say that the world would march on regardless of what’s happening to little insignificant ol’ you .
In fact, it did.
“You’ve been in there for a while. Are you alright?”
Shouto peeks out from behind a blanket. Whether he means in your room or in your head, since you look like you’ve been glued to the doorway, you don’t know.
You step into a pair of outdoor slippers set neatly on one side of the porch and make your way towards one of the laundry baskets.
“Sorry I didn’t come back out. I was reading Katsuki’s texts. There were… a lot of them.”
Falling back into the song and dance of pinning clothes onto the sturdy cotton ropes is easy. You’ve helped out Shouto with laundry duty many times before, knowing exactly how to space things out so the drying is optimal.
The lingering scent of detergent nudges its way into your hair and weaves into the warm sunlight around you like a hug.
“He was the one who gave me your phone, with some choice words about showing up here if I didn’t give it to you.”
“At least that part of him hasn’t changed.” You sigh. “He said he’d kept the stuff from my apartment at the agency and he wanted me to come by tomorrow to talk to him.”
“That is blackmail.” Shouto frowns. “You don’t have to go, we can replace all of your stuff.” 
“I don’t know what is worse, Sho. Facing him or sitting here dwelling on it.” You smooth out the damp pillowcase for the dozenth time. “He was…hurt. Badly. It might not have been my fault, but I was the cause nonetheless.” 
Shouto reaches over and gently stops your hands from anxiously fussing with the fabric.
“That doesn’t mean you’re not hurting too.”
He tosses half of the final sheet over the rope and hands you one end, and you both slowly walk backwards to spread the sheet out.
Once both ends are secured with wooden clothespins, Shouto collects all the baskets and sneakily flips one upside down over your head. Your surprised laugh is muffled slightly in the confines of the rattan weaves, and he lets a soft smile dance across his statue-like features.
“If you decide to go, I’ll walk back with you.” 
“Slacker. You're just using me to get out of work.” You lift the basket from your head and start heading for the porch.
He simply shrugs. “It’s not slacking if you’re not on the payroll.”
* * * * *
The open front gate of the agency threatens to swallow you whole as you stand stock still in front of it. Normally you would have to scan yourself in, but with the number of returning employees that are no longer part of the system, they have temporarily switched to manual check-in in the main lobby, leaving the gate wide open.
Yet you can’t seem to bring yourself to walk through it. As if it’s a threshold of something that would trap you in and you would not be able to back out.
Your grip on the red metal hand truck tightens. Maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe you’re still not ready to see him.
Perhaps you can head straight to the storage, grab your most important stuff then run right back out, and Katsuki will be none the wiser. 
So you push yourself forward, greet the receptionist with the best smile you can muster, quickly grab the code for your container and take the stairs down to the storage floor, the hand truck trailing in the air behind you.
The storage is basically an underground warehouse that contains about a hundred metal pods, all under temperature and humidity control. You are honestly glad that Katsuki had brought your belongings here, since finding them under 5 years of dust and spiderwebs wouldn’t exactly be thrilling.
The heavy door echoes loudly in the otherwise eerily quiet warehouse, making you wince. Reaching for your phone to double check the pod number, you see a text from Shouto.
‘Please let me know when you’re done, Sero is recounting 5 years of pop culture and he’s going to let a Solo Leveling spoiler slip, I just know it.’
You shoot back a quick ‘lol will do’ with a small smile on your face, your anxiety subsiding a smidge. You make your way to the far left corner where your container sits and plug in your code. The roll up door quietly opens, the light automatically turns on and you hear something stir.
Your couch is sitting neatly against the side wall, and the person laying on it just got woken up by your entrance.
And their squinting crimson eyes widen the moment they register that it’s you.
“How long have you been in here for?” You question, internally lamenting your ruined plans.
“I got an overnight patrol.” Katsuki sits up and roughly rubs the grogginess out of his eyes. His voice is significantly deeper with sleep, its familiarity tugging hard at you.
You look away and curtly hum in reply. Setting the hand truck by the door, you step into the pod and start rooting through the pile of boxes strewn all across the room. You can feel his eyes follow you closely, until he eventually clears his throat.
“What um, what are you looking for?” 
You don’t think you’ve ever heard Katsuki sound so unsure. Maybe he’s as unprepared for this ‘conversation’ as you are.
“My clothes.” You keep your eyes on the boxes in front of you, still unable to find it in you to look at him.
“Here.” He stands up and reaches for a few boxes sitting on top of your dresser. But before he can walk over with them, you lift them out of his hands with your quirk and float them over to the hand truck.
“Thanks.” You mutter, still digging through boxes with no real purpose. 
“Right.” He nods, then pats another box next to him. “This one too, if you wanna– you know,” He gestures towards the red metal contraption that’s slowly disappearing behind the growing tower of boxes.
“Sure.” Another one-worded reply.
Katsuki leans back against the dresser and watches in a mix of disbelief and awe as you pull out your cherry blossom snow globe from a box, shake it up and watch the petals dance. You look exactly the same as 5 years ago, but of course you do.
It’s absolutely surreal seeing you right in front of him after mourning you for so long, and he finds himself lost for words.
He hated the way you looked so broken when he left for the emergency the other day, and he didn’t want to leave things like that between you two, so he insisted on seeing you today to talk it out. He also just…wanted to see you again.
But now that you’re here, he doesn’t know where to even begin.
“I’m sorry.” is all he can muster.
“For what exactly?” You finally, finally look at him.
He doesn’t have an answer. And you seem to already know so.
“That’s the thing, Katsuki.” You try your darndest to keep your voice from breaking. “It hurts so damn much for me to look at you right now but at the end of the fucking day it’s not even your fault.”
A rolling wave of pain, guilt and longing crashes against the shore of Katsuki’s eyes, but he remains quiet.
“I can’t expect you to wait for me forever.” You weakly shake your head. “Yet I feel betrayed all the same. Utterly, pathetically betrayed.” You shove the snow globe back into its box and start pinching the bridge of your nose as incoming tears burn your nostrils.
Katsuki pushes off the dresser and makes his way over to you.
“I don’t give a fuck if it’s my fault or not.” He stops in front of you. “Go on, yell at me. It’ll make you feel better.” He grabs your wrist and holds it to his throat. “Punch me. Hell, you can float me to the top floor and fucking drop me, I can take it. Please.” He searches your eyes. “I know you’re hurting, so hurt me back.”
You wriggle your wrist until he lets go.
“I think I’ve already hurt you enough.”
Your tears are free falling now. Heavy globs of salty liquid trail down your cheeks, still puffy from the past days. Without thinking, Katsuki reaches up to wipe them, only for you to hastily step back.
“Hawks offered me a job, and I’m taking it. Don’t expect me back.” You practically run to the hand truck to strap the boxes in. “I’ll ask Shouto to get the rest of my stuff when I find a place. You and I should,” you sputter, hardly able to breathe properly. “We should stay far, far away from each other, or it’d be difficult for both of us.” You take a deep inhale. “And for your fiancé.”
You don’t bother to hide the bitterness behind that word. You see him open his mouth to plead your name but you cut him off.
“Goodbye, Katsuki.”
And with that, you turn away, the metal dolly dragging sluggishly behind you as you walk out of this agency for the last time.
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enemiestolovershoe · 1 day ago
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Can you write an X reader with JJ Maybank where the reader has loved him and been kind since they were kids so when he shows interest in kiara they are upset. They get into a into a situation where they have to confess that to JJ, and he kind of confesses back that he was only interest in kie to try and get over y/n? Maybe angsty a bit, happy ending fluffy. Thanks you! Love ur blog btw
All this Time
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JJ Maybank x bsf!reader
Summary: Y/N and JJ finally confront their feelings after years of tension.
Words: 2880
Warnings: minor fighting and crying
A/N: I got a new Theme for the visuals! What do you think?
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The sun hung lazily in the sky, casting its golden rays over the docks where you and JJ Maybank spent most of your days. The familiar scent of saltwater and the rhythmic creak of boats bobbing against the tide had been the backdrop of your friendship for as long as you could remember. JJ was your constant — wild, reckless, and impossibly charming.
Growing up on the Cut, you’d been inseparable. Late-night bonfires, daring each other to jump off the highest dock into the cold water, and sneaking into abandoned houses had become second nature. It was in those moments, with the stars reflected in the ocean and JJ laughing beside you, that you realized your feelings for him ran deeper than friendship.
You tried to suppress it. JJ wasn’t the kind of guy to settle down or even notice subtle changes in your behavior. Still, you found yourself lingering in his presence, soaking in every grin and every teasing comment he threw your way.
One late afternoon, you sat side by side on the edge of the dock, legs dangling over the water. JJ leaned back on his hands, squinting at the horizon. “You ever think about leaving this place?” he asked suddenly, his voice uncharacteristically soft.
You glanced at him, surprised. “What, like forever?”
“Yeah. I dunno.” He shrugged. “Sometimes I think I’d be better off starting fresh somewhere. But then I think about you guys—” He caught himself, quickly correcting, “—the Pogues. I couldn’t leave y’all behind.”
Your heart ached at the thought. “I can’t imagine you anywhere else,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
JJ smirked, his blue eyes meeting yours. “You’d miss me too much, huh?”
You rolled your eyes, shoving his shoulder. “Don’t flatter yourself, Maybank.”
His laughter filled the air, and for a moment, it was just the two of you against the world. But as summer rolled on, something shifted.
“JJ, where the hell are you?” you called out, pushing through the dense trees that lined the edge of the beach. The sound of voices and laughter drew you closer, and you froze when you saw him.
JJ was sitting with Kiara on the sand, his usual cocky grin plastered across his face. He leaned in closer than necessary, gesturing animatedly as Kiara laughed at something he’d said. It wasn’t the first time you’d noticed the two of them together, but this time, it felt different.
“Hey!” you called out, plastering on a smile as you approached. JJ glanced up, his face lighting up at the sight of you.
“There you are!” he said, waving you over. “We were just talking about heading to the wreck for a swim. You in?”
Kiara gave you a friendly smile, but her posture didn’t shift, her focus still half on JJ. “Yeah, it’s perfect weather for it,” she said.
You hesitated, feeling out of place. “Actually, I was gonna head back to the Chateau. I need to talk to John B.”
JJ frowned. “You sure? You’ve been ghosting us lately.”
“I’m not ghosting,” you said quickly, avoiding his gaze. “Just… busy.”
He didn’t look convinced, but Kiara spoke up before he could press further. “Well, maybe we’ll catch you later, then.”
You nodded, forcing a smile before turning on your heel and heading back up the path. Your chest tightened as you walked away, the sound of their laughter fading behind you.
“Are you okay?” Sarah asked later that night, finding you sitting alone on the Chateau’s porch. She plopped down beside you, handing you a cold beer.
You sighed, taking a sip. “Yeah. No. I don’t know.”
Sarah arched a brow, waiting.
“It’s JJ,” you admitted after a long pause. “He’s… into Kiara.”
Sarah’s expression softened. “And that bothers you because…?”
You groaned, covering your face with your hands. “Because I’ve been in love with him since we were kids, and now it feels like he doesn’t even see me anymore.”
“Y/N,” Sarah began, her tone gentle but firm, “JJ’s an idiot, but he’s also… JJ. He doesn’t notice things until they slap him in the face. If you want him to know how you feel, you’re gonna have to spell it out for him.”
You shook your head, frustration bubbling over. “He’s already made his choice, Sarah. It’s not like I can just tell him now.”
Sarah didn’t respond immediately, her gaze thoughtful. “Maybe you should,” she said finally. “Before it’s too late.”
You didn’t answer. Instead, you stared out at the dark waves rolling in, wishing more than anything that JJ could see you the way you saw him.
Sarah’s words lingered in your mind, no matter how much you tried to push them away. Tell him? You couldn’t even imagine the humiliation that would follow. Besides, JJ had been spending more time with Kiara lately, their bond growing stronger with every passing day. It was a losing battle, so you avoided him.
Two weeks had crawled by since that night. You’d become a master at dodging JJ. When the Pogues planned hangouts, you either claimed you were busy or conveniently showed up late and left early. At first, it seemed like he didn’t notice, but JJ was sharper than he let on.
It was a blazing summer day when it all came to a head. The Pogues were sprawled out on the beach, soaking up the sun. The scene was idyllic — John B and Sarah were locked in their little world, Pope was reading a book under the shade of a palm tree, and Kiara was tossing a frisbee around with JJ. You sat further up the shore, your legs crossed as you pretended to be engrossed in scrolling through your phone.
“Hey, Y/N!” JJ’s voice cut through the sound of crashing waves. You ignored him, keeping your eyes glued to your screen. He called again, this time louder. “Y/N! You gonna sit there all day, or are you actually gonna hang out with us?”
You sighed, barely glancing up. “I’m good here, thanks.”
JJ’s carefree grin faltered, replaced with a flicker of irritation. He jogged over, kicking up sand as he approached. “Alright, what’s your deal?” he asked, standing over you with his hands on his hips.
You blinked up at him, feigning confusion. “What deal?”
“This,” he said, gesturing between the two of you. “You’ve been acting weird. Distant. Did I do something, or are you just having a rough couple of weeks?”
The others were starting to notice now. You could feel their eyes on you, the weight of their curiosity settling heavily.
“Can we not do this right now?” you muttered, shifting uncomfortably.
JJ crouched down, lowering his voice. “No, we’re doing this. You’ve been avoiding me, Y/N. What’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on,” you snapped, your tone sharper than intended. “Maybe I’ve just got other things to worry about besides whatever game you and Kiara are playing.”
The words were out before you could stop them, and JJ’s face twisted in confusion and frustration. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
You stood abruptly, brushing sand off your legs. “Forget it.”
JJ grabbed your wrist, stopping you from walking away. “No, I’m not forgetting it. Talk to me!”
You yanked your arm free, your voice rising now. “Why do you care so much? You’ve been glued to Kiara’s side for weeks. Go bother her!”
“Are you serious right now?” JJ exclaimed, throwing his arms out. “You’re pissed because I’ve been hanging out with Kie?”
The commotion had drawn the attention of nearby beachgoers. You could hear the snickers of Kooks lounging under their umbrellas, their whispers cutting through the air.
“Maybe if you weren’t so busy being oblivious, you’d understand why this bothers me!” you fired back, the heat of your frustration bubbling over.
“Oblivious?” JJ repeated, his voice dripping with disbelief. “I’ve been trying to figure out what’s wrong with you for weeks, and now you’re blaming me for—”
“God, JJ, you’re impossible!” you shouted, throwing your hands in the air.
“And you’re being ridiculous!” he shot back, his face reddening.
The Kooks’ laughter grew louder, the sound twisting the knife in your already fragile composure. You felt your face burn as you realized how much of a spectacle you were making, but you were too far gone to stop now. JJ looked just as flustered, his hands raking through his blond hair as he struggled to piece together what had caused this fight.
“Whatever,” you muttered, shaking your head as you turned away. “I’m done.”
JJ’s voice followed you, tinged with anger and something else you couldn’t quite place. “Yeah, well, maybe I’m done too!”
The tension in the air was unbearable, thick enough to choke on. You stopped in your tracks, your body trembling with frustration and pent-up emotions. With a sharp turn, you faced JJ again, your chest heaving as tears began to blur your vision. The suddenness of your movement made him pause, his anger replaced by a flicker of concern.
“What the hell is wrong, Y/N?” JJ’s voice softened, his brows furrowing. “Talk to me. Please.”
Your lips trembled, the words caught in your throat, but the dam finally broke. “I love you, JJ!” you shouted, the confession tearing its way out of you with a force that left you breathless. “Why can’t you see how much it hurts me when you hang out with Ki this close?”
His eyes widened in shock, his mouth opening and closing as if he didn’t know how to respond. The weight of your confession hung between you like a storm cloud, and suddenly, all the anger, all the jealousy, all the heartbreak you’d been bottling up spilled over in waves.
“I’ve loved you since we were kids,” you continued, your voice breaking as tears streamed down your face. “And every time I see you with her, laughing with her, looking at her like that—it feels like someone’s ripping me apart from the inside.”
JJ stepped forward, his face etched with something you couldn’t quite place. “Y/N…”
“No, let me finish,” you said, wiping at your face as sobs wracked your body. “I’ve been by your side through everything. I’ve defended you, fought for you, and loved you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. And you—” your voice cracked, “—you’re so busy chasing after Kiara, you don’t even notice what you’re doing to me.”
Your knees buckled slightly under the weight of your emotions, but JJ caught you, his hands gripping your arms as he steadied you. His touch sent a jolt through you, but you were too exhausted to pull away.
“I didn’t know,” he whispered, his voice thick with regret. “I swear to God, Y/N, I didn’t know.”
“How could you not know?” you cried, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. “I thought I was obvious.”
JJ’s hands slid down to your wrists, his grip firm but gentle. “Because I’m an idiot,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I thought… I thought I didn’t have a chance with you. So I—” He hesitated, looking ashamed. “I spent time with Ki because I didn’t know how to talk to you, Y/N. I was trying to distract myself.”
His words hung in the air, and for a moment, the world seemed to tilt on its axis. “What?” you asked, barely able to process what he was saying.
“I love you too,” JJ confessed, his voice trembling now. “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I just didn’t know how to say it without screwing everything up.”
Your heart stopped, the weight of his words crashing over you like a tidal wave. Before you could respond, JJ closed the distance between you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. The warmth of his embrace was overwhelming, his scent—saltwater and sunscreen—comforting and familiar.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he murmured against your hair. “I never wanted to hurt you. I just… I was scared.”
You melted into him, your sobs quieting as you clung to him like he was your lifeline. “Why didn’t you just tell me?” you whispered, your voice muffled against his chest.
“Because I didn’t want to lose you,” he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. “But I almost lost you anyway, didn’t I?”
Pulling back slightly, JJ cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the remnants of your tears. His blue eyes searched yours, filled with a mix of fear and hope. “Can I kiss you?” he asked softly, his voice trembling with vulnerability.
You nodded, unable to find the words. JJ leaned in slowly, giving you a moment to pull away if you wanted to—but you didn’t. When his lips met yours, it was everything you’d imagined and more. The kiss was soft and tentative at first, but it quickly deepened, both of you pouring years of unspoken feelings into that one moment.
When you finally pulled away, breathless and trembling, JJ rested his forehead against yours. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a dumbass,” he said, a small, self-deprecating smile tugging at his lips. “But I promise, I’m not gonna screw this up again.”
You couldn’t help but smile, your heart feeling lighter than it had in weeks. “You’d better not, Maybank,” you teased, your voice still shaky but laced with warmth.
JJ chuckled, his arms tightening around you. “You’re stuck with me now,” he said, his tone soft but resolute.
The warmth of JJ’s arms around you was something you never wanted to lose, and for a moment, the world seemed to fade away. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore was drowned out by the steady rhythm of his breathing, and you clung to him as if the tide might carry you both away. You had no idea how long you stayed like that, but when you heard voices approaching from the direction of the Chateau, reality began creeping back in.
“Would you look at that?” Sarah’s voice rang out, filled with teasing amusement.
“Finally!” Kiara exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air dramatically. “I thought we’d need an intervention.”
You pulled back slightly from JJ, still wrapped in his embrace, and turned to see the rest of the Pogues standing a few feet away, all of them wearing varying expressions of amusement and smug satisfaction. Pope had his arms crossed, shaking his head with an exasperated smile. Sarah was grinning widely, nudging John B, who looked equally pleased. Even Cleo, leaning casually against Pope, raised an eyebrow and smirked knowingly.
“Don’t mind us,” Cleo said, her accent laced with humor. “Just here to enjoy the show.”
JJ groaned, rubbing the back of his neck as he finally released you, though his hand lingered at your waist. “Seriously? You guys were spying?”
“Not spying,” John B said, holding his hands up in mock defense. “We just heard the yelling and figured someone was about to beat the shit out of JJ.”
“Honestly, I kinda hoped she was,” Pope added with a grin. “Would’ve been entertaining.”
“Very funny, Pope,” JJ shot back, though his tone was light. “Glad to know I’ve got so much support.”
“Can we just take a moment to appreciate how dumb you two have been?” Kiara said, stepping closer. “Because, seriously, everyone knew. We’ve been waiting for you to figure it out for years.”
You felt your face heat up, glancing at JJ, who looked equally sheepish. “Years?” you asked incredulously.
“Oh, yeah,” Cleo chimed in, her smirk widening. “Y’all weren’t exactly subtle. The looks, the ‘friendly’ touching, the way JJ turns into a golden retriever whenever you’re around? Please.”
JJ groaned again, dropping his head back dramatically. “Okay, we get it. You’re all geniuses.”
“Hey, at least it’s finally out in the open,” Sarah said, giving you an encouraging smile. “And, for what it’s worth, I think it’s cute.”
John B clapped JJ on the shoulder. “Don’t screw this up, Maybank.”
JJ gave him a mock glare. “I don’t need the advice, John B.”
“I mean, you kinda do,” Pope muttered under his breath, earning a laugh from Kiara and Cleo.
Rolling his eyes, JJ turned his attention back to you, his expression softening. “You good?” he asked quietly, his voice so low that only you could hear.
You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah. Better than good.”
His grin returned, and for a moment, it felt like the two of you were in your own little bubble again, despite the teasing and laughter from your friends.
“Well, now that this is settled,” Kiara said, breaking the moment, “can we get back to enjoying the beach? I came out here for some sun, not a soap opera.”
“Sure, Kie,” JJ said, smirking as he slung an arm around your shoulders. “But don’t act like you weren’t loving every second of it.”
“Don’t push your luck, Maybank,” Kiara shot back with a grin.
As the group started to disperse, Cleo caught your eye, her expression softening slightly. “About time, Y/N,” she said with a wink. “Good for you.”
You smiled at her, a wave of gratitude washing over you. For the first time in weeks—no, years—it felt like everything had finally fallen into place.
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space-1z-cool · 2 days ago
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spoilers ahead for s1 and 2 of arcane
jinx centered Arcane rambleeee :3
i feel that jinx is the embodiment of getting so close to happiness but having it constantly torn away from her. Usually somewhat by her own doing, but Vi also had a lot to do with her losses when u think abt it.
Ekko Jinx Vi Claggor and. the guy i forget his name. Were all starting to be happy and live a life with Vander and the chill guy who was like ekkos dad. Yea sure they did get involved with shady shit, and crime and all of that. But They didnt have much of a choice while living in Zaun. But then they go on a mission, which the outcome of has a chain reaction to the rest of the series.
(as clearly shown in the AU where vi is dead and everyone else is thriving and hextech doesnt exist bc jayce probably succeeded in his attempt on his life after the explosion killed Vi. And Theres a buncha stuff that could have happened w viktor. maybe his disease progressed too far, or he didnt gain interest because of the outcome of its accidental use killing a young girl frkm the undercity. which could give him moral cause to not support jayce. but anyways back to the main topic)
That mission led to powder/jinx really really needing to feel helpful. So what happens? She gets her bombs to work. But she accidentally "kills" vander in the process. As well as actually killing claggor and the other guy. Therefore getting si close to feeling happy and useful. But it being taken away by her own actions and Vi's influence (imo vi's reaction is what leads her to be taken in by silco. bc silco feels safer now than Vi, who just hit her in the face and called her a jinx after previously reassuring her she wasnt.)
Later on when Jinx is with silco. Silco loves jinx. He's a decent father figure, horrible person (product of environment and never finding the letter) but an ok father. He loves Jinx and wouldn't give her to Piltover even though thats what the council wanted to 'allow' zaun to be its own sovereign state. He trusts her to an extent. She has her fun with her gadgets and explosives and Silco scolds her when needed. etc. I'd argue that Even though it wasn't perfect, and jinx was struggling with untreated mental illness, She was starting to get kinda happy and comfortable.
But what happens next? She kidnaps Vi and Caitlyn, Vi accidentally triggers her into an episode, and jinx accidentally kills silco while she's disoriented and hallucinating. And even after that?? Silco didnt get upset because he Knew that she didnt mean to. ( which EUGH.. their fucked up father daughter duo makes me so emotional) Happiness ripped away p2.
Okay! Maybe third time is the charm. She has Isha! And She's done with the Jinx persona but knows she isnt really powder either. She does her best to be a good older sister and shows isha the ropes of zaun-living kinda. They genuinely have a nice bond and Jinx stops getting involved with as much violence. Also if you notice, most of her hallucinations have stopped (at least on screen).
And Then they meet up w Vi and find Warwick/Vander. They make it to Viktor's Cult and happiness looks so fucking close. They could be a real Family.
And WHAT HAPPENS????? Ambitcha and her army barge in, wanting Warwick for a weapon, Jayce drops in to try to kill his boyfriend who isnt himself fully anymore, and it all goes ti shit! Jinx loses Isha and Vander (again) And its all fucked. That was her last fucking straw. After losing all of that she goes tk prison.
And after EVERYTHING she's endured. All of that kind of finalizes in her brain that she is a Jinx.
In the end, If you look at jinx's facial expressions as she saves Vi and (probably) dooms herself, she's content. She's content dying this way. After losing Everything. After feeling like she was the cause of everything bad. She could do One thing to give her remaining family member happiness. And doing that one thing seemed to give her relief or possibly even her own happiness. And if she died, that final emotion, finally reaching a semblance of being content, couldnt be taken away.
and i dont blame her for choosing to go out like that. was i happy? FUCK NO i was sobbing. but it made sense. ik there's a theory she's probably alive. esp cus she's like a main character in league. but from what ive seen/heard? arcane is based on lol lore but not quite. And Jinx is a far more nuanced character in arcane.
i think thats all for now. prepare for more long ass posts bc this show is pure art. and i loved it.
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earlgreytea68 · 2 days ago
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I am reading a Regency romance novel. It was on a list of recommended romance novels and it's supposed to be good, I guess, and I thought it would be fun to read one while I was in the middle of writing the sequel sequel. (My reading is kind of all over the place, I have a very long list of books that have been recommended to me and I honestly end up reading whatever my library has available at any given time, and right now it's this book.)
I read a lot of Regency romance novels when I was growing up so I am well-versed in their tropes, but it's been a while since I read romance novels of any kind (I've just been reading fic for romantic stories for a long time now) and it is so jarring to me reading them as the grown-up person I am now. Like, these characters do that thing where they're always being condescending to the hero/heroine by telling them how much they don't realize how their lives are incomplete until they settle down and get married and I'm just like, ugh, MAYBE THEIR LIVES ARE FINE, OKAY? LEAVE THEM ALONE. STOP GIVING THEM SAD-EYED LOOKS BECAUSE THEY LIKE THEIR COMFORTABLE STUDY WITH ITS COZY BOOKS, THAT SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN. I know that's not the ~~vibe of the Regency era lol, but it's the vibe of *my* era lol. Also the hero's brother and sister-in-law are always trying to tell him how great their sex life is and he doesn't want to hear this AND I DON'T BLAME HIM. I know it's another trope of Regency romance novels that the happy couples have to let the hero/heroine know how great sex is at every given opportunity but it just strikes me as so weird and contrived now, Idk, I think it's weird to take EVERY OPPORTUNITY to tell your brother when you just had sex?????? Like, it's so weird to get asked, "Is my sister well?" and be like, "She is VERY WELL, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN," and waggle your eyebrows, like, no? Don't? Why would you do this???? I don't think this is charming????
But I was reading this and just being so bewildered by how well reviewed the book was and I was thinking that some people probably *do* find these people and their interactions super-charming and sweet and to each their own, ymmv! All of you leave me lovely comments about the people in my own romantic stories but I bet some people read them and are like, "God, these people are so annoying, who treats other people this way!!!" lol
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datshitrandom · 3 months ago
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Darren Criss and Helen J. Shen | Maybe Happy Ending | She asked to borrow his charger. Instant ✨sparks ✨ | 📸 by Jacob Stuckelman, MHE & shaylee
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creativitysloyalservant · 2 months ago
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i have decided to break my lack of original posting on this blog to bring you my Thoughts on Rot in Paradise. because i played it as soon as i got up this morning and i have scoured for some opinions after finishing it, and now i have my own!!
(and also i posted this on twitter but twitter has such a Shit wordcount that i'm also posting my things here with More Detail)
so! spoilers under the cut, please go and play the game if you haven't. it takes literally an hour (it only took nearly 2 hours for me because i like voice acting by myself and exploring every nook and cranny) and it's also free. so maybe come back into the tag once you're done.
okay, so i noticed quite a number of people being confused and disappointed on the lack of an explanation for the monster. it's brought up in the story as the central thing driving the plot, but it's never explained on what "she" is, why she's compelling people to eat a ton of fish-related food or hell, metal, and why this doesn't impact June at all.
but you know what I think?
i think that that's the point. the focus of rot in paradise isn't supposed to be on the monster.
yeah, it's the thing that pushes the plot along besides June and the gang going on vacation in this island. it's what's causing that uneasiness from the moment that guy grabs June's arm at the drinks, to the sheer unnerving feeling of witnessing people going to the ocean to get Raptured basically. i know i personally felt a chill when i saw that one dude literally eating chains and the other hauling an anchor, as if they're trying to make themselves heavier so they get taken by whatever She is.
but that's not the main point! the main conflict is about June and her friends.
as people have pointed out, this game is about toxic friendships and relationships! it's foreshadowed in the conversation that June has with the gang about her cousin (which i will also get into), and it carries it through the way her friends are horribly warped by this ocean Creature. June goes on a silly little vacation trip with her friends only for them to become so so different from themselves that they lash out at her and even hit her in McCoy's case.
but she still sticks it out with them. through the whole game, even despite their verbal abuse, despite being slapped, despite them being people that she can hardly recognise. she stays with them for the whole game, up until the point where you are given the two options at the very end. and she could still stay with them.
because they're still her friends. she cares about them even if they still hurt her. from the way June still tells Carmen to tell June if she needs anything after Carmen literally tells her to shut up and leave, the way June worries about Vonnie eating seafood even though she continues to stuff herself despite being implied to either hate or make an active choice to not eat seafood, to the way June still trudges out to sea screaming for McCoy to come back to the shore as he wades further in even after he slapped her until her nose bled.
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it mirrors the conversation about her cousin, the reason for why June was looking forward to the vacation. that while she did comfort her cousin through all of it, June clearly says that "they were dickheads, and she should have ditched them a long time ago".
but it's funny, isn't it? that June, an outsider to her cousin's friend group, easily sees the pain that her cousin's friends are causing her, and immediately calls it as it is. that her cousin should have left the second they hurt her.
and yet now, when her friends hurt her, even though this was a quick and sudden change that happened in a span of three days, June still sticks around. her friends are dickheads right now, and we can see that in the way they interact with June, but she still stays.
because they're her friends. and how could she just leave them like this if it's something that's causing them to be this way?
so no, i don't think the monster is supposed to be the main picture. we don't need to know what it looks like, or why it needs to do this to the islanders, or how it's even doing it in the first place. it adds to the scariness of the game, as per the Spooktober Game Jam, sure, but that's not the point. might be a bit disappointing to some, but that's not the point.
the point is about June, and the choice that she needs to make at the end of the game.
it's a choice on whether she chooses to be pulled deeper into the tides and be with the friends who hurt her and will continue to hurt her in this way,
or to leave them to their fates, whether deserved or not, and resurface to a world where she's alone without her friends.
and even though the first choice hurts much more in the long run, doesn't the second hurt even more in the moment? knowing that you're alone at the end of all of this?
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even if it is the right choice, i'm sure the pain must be unbearable in the moment.
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dailyloopdeloop · 6 months ago
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DAY 71: shy
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#isabeau isat#isat spoilers#i'll never get over loop being described as 'shy'. what a wonderful image#top one casual remarks from isabeau that cleaves loop's facade#like loop's personality is just a targeted missile to piss siffrin off. they're not at all confident and snarky#they're doing like the physical manifestation of winning an argument against yourself in the shower#second they see the party though Oopsies we're in scary territory. That's your family and they dont know it's you Oops#ok anyways ever since i saw that post i was like damn. this is just how i view loop in party postcanon#for as much as I think they SHOULD go explore around and be their own person for a while i think realistically they would not do that.#theyre going to go be a weird freak hovering around the party and refusing to socialize with anyone but siffrin and theyre gonna feel awful#(read: they're going to antagonize siffrin and it fails tremendously bc now The Rumor Come Out and siffrin knows what loop is doing.)#like loop as much as they can barely stand to even look at isabeau (for instance) i think their claws are sunk far too deep in.#onehats maybe the circumstances are different because there is a gap in understanding. there's no point forcing siffrin to confront the#obvious conclusion that loop is them (and thus siffrin's happy ending nails loop's coffin)#(THIS IS IGNORING TWOHATS PREREQS GOTTEN ONEHATS. BC THATS ITS OWN CAN OF WORMS)#but twohats. idk. for as much as it lets loop release some of their rage and process their feelings a bit. i think it might also be the pus#that makes loop consider their own existence as a person a bit more. theyre not a sponsor->corpse theyre just loop#theyre just somebody who wants desperately. they want to stay with them#theyre still siffrin. if also loop.#i think loop would force themself to reconnect with the party in the same vein as siffrin forcing himself to communicate more.#but of course having conviction and living an experience are not the same thing. so siffrin's going to flounder the emotional honesty thing#tremendously and loop's going to be. blair witching it in the corner.#hey i might have forgotten which post i was writing the tags under. oopsies#idk if these tags are comprehensible at all. i just really want to see loop fail upwards into friendship with everyone
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dykedvonte · 27 days ago
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Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like
-💀
It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.
If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.
Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.
He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...
#this is less headcanons and more my thoughts of the intersectional horror this brings to mouthwashing which is also a thing it#already has but more directly in the mix vs just the class gender and positional struggle. like the idea he waited to confront Jimmy becaus#he could conceptualize the crime better because of experience with womanhood and also how it would've destroyed him in terms of being trans#like its weird to word as a comparison but thats kinda how empathy works as in an understanding and ability to project through aspects#like you found out your friend who has always had weird feelings about and relating to you is a rapist and got one of your other friend#pregnant and is now being openly hostile and aggressive towards you. You have only a few days to really think on all of this all the years#with him and how many oppurtunites he had that you blame yourself for giving him both in life and to do to you. You are starting to#realize that he may have done what he did to Anya because it was no longer viable with him or because of weird transphobia/homophobia#from Jimmy and god its so much and he should've know better and what did Jimmy do then - c r a s h#he is at such a small amount of mercy to Jimmy now and he can't protect Anya and it's terrifying because i know and you know that Jimmy is#giving him those weird looks again...#like it adds another layer of horror to things and while I don't think Jimmy would do anything to Curly it's heavily implied he targeted he#because of relatively more important position and getting Curly to have doubts about him as a power play and Curly knows Jimmy well enough#that him immediately exerting his authority and power would set him off after already having been mad about it and even when doing#damage control it still set him off. like its the horror of accidenlty siding with your oppresser and hurting other like you only to then b#stabbed in the back again by the person who took advantage of your nature like its so complext but my actual trans curly headcanons#are just a little bit happier like i imagine he was the first on the boys soccer team and a star player. maybe he and jimmy even picked ou#his first offical “boy” clothes and Jimmy picked most so he looked like the grungiest white boy but she was a boy so it didn't matter cause#it was with his friend who accepted him and I bet on the bed he looks back at all those moments and notices the little details that his#friend wasnt actually so happy but he can't be certain when he started looking so bitter or hes just imagining out of paranoia cause he jus#cant know and even if he could he wouldn't want to ask like god thinking about Anya and probably being a little glad if not heartbroken#that she did get out of it in the end like trans curly and anya destroy me even more its so upsetting like he didn't realize how much he go#you girl and waited to act like it was cowardice but then would she not realize what hes realizing? should that be a grace or more of a#condemnation in her mind like what are her thoughts? espically during the scene Jimmy hits Curly like she had to hear and what did she thin#they are tormented in a similar hells with the same demon and its fascinating#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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skullsandcorals · 3 months ago
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY @apiratefellinlovewithastar 🤭💜💜💜 !!!!
I hope you like it ;)
(click for better quality if you're on the mobile app. do not repost.)
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bacchuschucklefuck · 6 months ago
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riz gukgak is SO distressing to have as a favourite character I can never funckign rest out here
#not art#smthing abt his character being motivated so equally by truth and fear#and he keeps looking for an institution that'd both help him seek the truth and assuage his fears#with him first being a PI bc his mom was a cop and then a junior agent with blessings from his dad#and hes like on that precipice of realising that its not just the people in the seats its the concept of it from the ground up thats fucked#so hes inclined towards conspiracy thoughts and an end-justifies-the-means pattern of action#like. man. hes just so fucking filled with anxiety. he guards the things that make him happy with ferocity#and the thing is! the world encourages this! every time hes paranoid he turns out to be right#that paranoia that already came from having very little control over a world thats unkind to you#honestly all the bad kids were prime radicalization/cult materials in freshman year but I feel like riz is even More so#theyre so fucking lucky they ended up together like that. there are so many things you can promise a kid#who already had plenty of things taken from and kept from him. a kid with an overworked mom and a missing babysitter#if riz didnt run into the bad kids it would be childs play to isolate him. gods. head in hands I cannot fuckign be here dude#this is why the ''small'' comic I tried to sketch ballooned up to almost 30 panels lmao needed to stuff someof this somewhere#but also skip is my favourite from ASO so maybe I just like experiencing hardship and challenges in daily mental exercises
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