#MAN. gonna ramble after the tags.
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skullsandcorals · 3 months ago
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY @apiratefellinlovewithastar 🤭💜💜💜 !!!!
I hope you like it ;)
(click for better quality if you're on the mobile app. do not repost.)
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mblue-art · 9 months ago
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once again i was fueled with coffee (did not sleep the whole night) but this time i doodled college au to cope bc ofc i did (also did not feel like sleeping wooo)
#self insert#cross!sans#epic!sans#mblue art#cm#m rambles#(that tag is needed bc hoo boy u can tell i did not get sleep and is fueled by caffeine)#(do not be like me!!!!!!!!! do not deprive urself of sleep 💀💀💀)#(get a good 6-7hrs a day if u can. if 4-5hr works better for u then im not forcing u to sleep more 😤😤😤 as long as u rest well 😁👍)#(AND HYDRATE... if ur reading this try to take a sip rn 🥤)#campus au#(college au scenarios will be tagged that heehoo)#not colored just lines bby 😎😎😎#idiots to lovers type shit where they both confide in epic n he's just chillin#waiting for the time when these dummies will finally confess to eachother themselves#(look i think it's rlly funny seeing cross be all cool calm collected in public but when he talks to epic abt his crush)#(he goes insane with a million different flustered/blushing emojis)#( 'they told me good luck on my test and gave me the nicest smile ever how was i gonna live after that' goofy ass. idiot /aff)#( 'DUDE THEY GAVE ME A MOTIVATIONAL NOTE. IN /PINK/ PAPER. ON CHOCOLATE. DOES THIS...... 😳' guys i love silly dorky cross to bits so much)#(man fucking explodes w his simping n epic just goes LMAO but he's v supportive for his bruh 💪😤)#(on the other hand my sona thinks he's sooo cool and awesome and smart and honestly fucking charming HHELLO THE TIMES WHEN HE LAUGHS AND)#(AND SMILES HELLOOO MR HANDSOME I MEAN WHATT)#( 'stars if he likes me back i wouldn't know what to do with myself. fucking EXPLODE? YIPPEE CONFETTI??' lots of flushge )#(going ueueue at big bro epic bc they got a super massive crush on his bestie but)#(but the head is entertaining 'what-if's BUT i think kuya epic knows how to steer the thoughts away from those and smack em w teasing 😎✨)#(ultimately distracting and successfully reassuring them 😎😎😎)#(tsundere mblue no way not in here im down bad astronomically full on simping my guys)#(he might be a dumbass sometimes but he's my dumbass) (ok i'll shut up now fr)#anywayz campus au is the my highschool au but we're all adults and more tired yippeee
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so-very-small · 1 year ago
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the tiny, inside the walls, hyping themself up: It’s totally fine. Everything I’ve seen from this human shows that they’re kind, level headed, and normal. There’s utterly nothing wrong with this human, and I can totally befriend them! I shouldn’t be scared at all!
the tiny: *peeks out hole in the bathroom wall, looking up at the giant before them*
the giant, in front of the bathroom sink, obliviously doing their nightly routine: *removes their dentures*
the tiny, has no concept of what dentures are, who just saw this behemoth remove all the bones and flesh from its own mouth in one swift pull, without a flinch of pain: what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck
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dreamofbecoming · 1 year ago
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i love bisexual eddie munson, but specifically in like a shang from mulan kind of way, you know? like he knew he liked boys, that made sense. just another way he’s different from everyone else, just another reason he’s a freak. so why bother examining it? he’s gay, hawkins hates him, might as well lean into it. maybe chrissy was the first time a girl made him feel butterflies (or bats?) in his stomach, and it confused him so bad he didn’t know what the hell to do about it except make a fool of himself flirting with the queen. maybe he took one look at nancy wheeler with a sawed off and went “yeah ok holy shit i get it, i see why steve was willing to burn his life down for her and why robin keeps making moon eyes at her and why jonathan lost his mind and pointed his camera through steve’s window like an insane person.” like he’s still into steve, obviously. the man is swanning about shirtless and bloody in an apocalyptic wasteland like the embodiment of all of eddie’s weirdest fantasies, there’s no way he’s not into steve. but i just love the idea of eddie being the one going through an Upside Down sexuality crisis (TM) rather than steve. what is happening to him?? why does he suddenly want to kiss everyone??? get it together munson you are running from a goddamn mob!!!
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bizlybebo · 5 months ago
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Dakota and Williamcore
KILLS YOU.
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lesbiangiratina · 1 year ago
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Can not stop thinking about how during a conversation about testament’s gender someone sent a list of terms that fall under x-gender and i got to be like Heh. Literally All of these words have been used to describe testament. Oh the joys of messy but well intentioned early 2000s nonbinary coding
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The contexts are a bit complicated but like genuinely. All 3. Theyre quite unambiguously the second definition of musei now though.
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perhaps-in-anotherdream · 2 years ago
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[CN] Victor’s Difficult Problem Date (Eng Translation)
⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 难题之约, that is yet to be released in the global server! ♡
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[Translation Under the Cut]
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
✧ [Chapter 1] ✧
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The delicate snow falls silently outside the window, and the fire in the fireplace burns warm.
I curl up on the sofa with the computer in my arms, faced with a screen full of red documents, and I can’t help scratching my hair.
After typing a line, my brows wrinkle into a frown, and I delete it again. Having done this back-and-forth several times, I finally can’t resist any longer and knock on the door to the study holding the laptop in my arms.
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Victor: What’s wrong?
Victor is busy reading the reports in the study. As the end of the year draws nearer, he has numerous matters to deal with.
Fuming, I place my laptop on top of his reports and point to his countless red annotations, my hand clenched into a fist.
MC: Victor, what on earth do you really want from the LFG New Year’s Eve party?
MC: Why, after modifying five editions, you still made the annotation that I “lack inventiveness?”
Hearing my series of “accusations,” Victor shoots a glance at his own annotations, but his face remains calm and breezy.
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Victor: You are the one who fought for wanting to plan LFG’s New Year’s Eve event. A certain someone patted her chest, assuring me that it’s gonna be a big eye-opener for me.
Victor: Furthermore, as Party A, I’ve already clearly told you about my requirements in the annotations.
MC: But you haven’t made your requirements absolutely clear! What did you mean by “the theme is too strong and not sufficiently soft”?
MC: I remember that before this, the theme you decided for the annual meeting was “blooming magnificently, and unstoppable.” And it wasn’t that soft either…
[Tidbits]: There’s an interesting little wordplay here ahah~ LFG’s actual name in Chinese is “HuaRuì.” The theme Victor decided on was “华丽绽放 (Huálì zhànfàng), 锐不可当 (Ruìbùkědāng).” So if you take the first characters of each phrase, you get “华锐 (HuaRuì)”~
I protest with dissatisfaction, but Victor only lifts his eyes indifferently.
Victor: Being LFG’s Party B is not that easy. Since you’ve dared to do it, you must be prepared to welcome the difficulties as well.
He picks up the red bunny cup and takes a sip of his coffee, his gaze landing on me unhurriedly.
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Victor: Besides, don’t you often say that I’m an evil capitalist?
Victor: Capitalists are like this. They only put forward their demands; they don’t tell you how you are to get it done.
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MC: ...
Victor’s words cause me to feel even more depressed. I can’t help but take a step forward and pin him down in his seat, staring at him with a condescending gaze.
MC: And do you know what’s the thing every Party B wants to do the most?
Victor: [in an extremely small voice]  What?
He looks at me with an inquisitive gaze while lifting his hand to my side to protect me from accidentally bumping against the table.
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MC: That is to tie up Party A and “silence” them.
I make a vicious gesture of slashing his neck, but Victor seizes the opportunity to reach out and draws me into his arms, breathing in my breath.
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Victor: [that precious, indulgent laugh]  Even if you want to “silence” me, a certain dummy must do what she’s promised me.
Victor: It’s the fundamental attainment of being the Party B.
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MC: …
He doesn’t seem inclined to tell me any more information than this. Regardless, he still patiently accompanies me as I “vent” my dissatisfaction.
But then, my gaze suddenly sweeps over the thick piles of documents stacked on his desk. It seems that Victor’s year-end work is even busier compared to mine.
Heaving a sigh, I let go of my hand that is draped over Victor’s shoulders. I then stand up and pick up my laptop, deciding that I should better push harder on this on my own.
But I haven’t taken more than a few steps when I hear Victor’s voice resounding behind me.
Victor: Wait.
I turn around and find Victor looking at me, his eyebrows slightly raised.
Victor: This “evil” Party A still has a bit of human warmth within him. What do you want for a New Year’s gift?
Blinking, I ask to sound out.
MC: Will you say yes to any request?
Victor: Anything, you name it.
Given this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, my eyes light up immediately. This being the case, I also deliberately want to make things difficult for Victor, to have him try out the torment of demands.
After pondering for a moment, I slowly nuzzle up to him, pick up a pen, and write down my request.
Victor looks at the words on the paper, and his brows arch down into a rare frown.
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Victor: [reading the note]  “...the most solid, yet the softest thing in the world.”
Victor: Did you get inspired by the prismatic black, or are you taking revenge on me for the annotations I made earlier?
I give him a mischievous smile, mimicking his tone from just a moment ago.
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MC: I’ve already clearly told you about my requirements. As for how you are to get it done––
MC: That will depend on CEO Victor’s fundamental attainment as Party B~
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
✧ [Chapter 2] ✧
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MC: Where’s CEO Victor? I’ve come to have him review LFG’s annual meeting proposal. Why isn’t he in the office?
Goldman: The CEO is at the shareholders’ year-end general meeting. It will be over soon. He said that if you arrive before he is done, just wait for him in the office.
MC: Okay, got it.
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But after waiting for quite a while, there is still no sign of Victor. Thereupon, I can’t help but get up and wander around.
While fiddling with the ornaments on Victor’s desk, I suddenly see a couple of advertisement brochures that are pressed down by the report forms.
I can vaguely see the names on them. Most of them are about introduction to jewelry customization, and there are even recommendation lists on diamonds.
Why would Victor personally collect so many advertisement brochures… amid my puzzlement, a flicker of light suddenly appears before me, and I remember the request I had previously made.
Some vague conjectures emerge in my mind, and I can’t help but tug the corners of my lips upwards.
Although jewelry is the most solid of all, it’s certainly not the softest. It seems that “Party B,” too, is unable to comprehend my demand.
After a while, Victor returns. I immediately hand him the proposal and pat my chest, brimming with confidence.
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MC: Reporting to CEO Victor, I’m very confident that the proposal will get approved this time!
He raises his eyebrows at my words, casually picking up my proposal.
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Victor: Oh. I’ve already heard a certain someone’s “big speech” five times now. I hope that you will be able to deliver on your words this time.
MC: Affirmative!
The office is extremely quiet. The only sound that can be heard is the rustling sound of Victor flipping through the proposal.
It’s not until he’s finished reading the last page that he lifts his head to look at me, and I nervously swallow a gulp.
Victor: Mm, you’ve done a great job. It seems that you finally understood the annotations of “Party A.”
Victor: I’ve changed the hotel location to where the annual meeting was held. Aside from that, there is no other problem with this.
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MC: Great!
I breathe a long sigh of relief, so immersed in the joy of the proposal being approved smoothly that I don’t concern myself with why Victor has changed the hotel location.
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Victor stares at me, who is cheering jubilantly, a little hint of contemplation flitting through his eyes. He then walks up to me and takes my hand in his.
Victor: Work is over. Let’s go. It’s time to get off work and return home.
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It’s not until I’m sitting in the car that I think about the advertisement brochures I’ve seen on Victor’s desk earlier.
I glance at Victor, who is driving, and can’t help myself from coughing lightly, beating about the bush.
MC: Umm, now that the proposal is approved, it suggests that New Year’s Eve is about to knock on the door.
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Victor: Mm, and?
Victor has always been familiar with my pattern, so he takes my words from where I left off.
MC: So… how is your preparation for my gift coming along? Do you have any ideas yet?
Victor holds the steering wheel with a steady gaze, his voice calm and collected.
Victor: Regarding that matter, I think you can have faith in your Party B.
His voice is steady, and he looks straight ahead, not glancing at me even once. He seems to be very confident. Thereupon, I blink and nod deliberately.
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MC: Of course, I have faith.
MC: Mr. CEO will definitely not choose things such as… diamonds… jewelry… or any such items as they do not meet the requirements for the gift at first glance.
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Victor’s hands driving the car halt a little.
Coincidentally, there just happens to be a red light ahead. Victor steps on the brake, then turns his head to look at me, not batting an eyelash as he opens his mouth.
Victor: Since we’re on the subject, I actually have an opinion.
MC: What?
He pauses, a slight hint of tardiness taking on his tone.
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Victor: Is it possible to narrow down the range of the trial a little bit?
I can’t help but curl up the corners of my lips and look at Victor.
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MC: If Mr. CEO is willing to request me now and say, “please, Boss MC,” then I’ll consider narrowing down the range a little.
Victor: [long, hard, helpless sigh]  …
At this moment, the green light flashes ahead, and the traffic flow begins to move forward. So, Victor turns his head and continues to drive without any expression on his face.
He doesn’t look like he will agree to my request. I can’t help but mumble to myself in a low voice.
Humph, it looks like Junior Vic’s proposal is going to be rejected when the moment comes.
[Tidbits]: MC here addresses Victor as “小李” (Xiao Li), basically to declare her “upper hand” in this “gift deal” – where Victor is the “Party B,” and she is the “Party A.” It’s also an echo of how she tells him to call her “Boss MC” earlier 🤣
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
✧ [Chapter 3] ✧
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Time flies by at lightning speed, and in the blink of an eye, today’s New Year’s Eve.
The ambiance of LFG’s New Year’s Eve party is fervent. I take a sip of my drink, my gaze resting on the man speaking on the stage along with the crowd.
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Victor: Everyone has worked hard this year. And to all, I hope that all of you have a good time and enjoy the rewards of your effort as we welcome the last moments of the year.
Victor: Regardless of what you’ve experienced throughout the year, a day of drinking fine wine to heart’s content and enjoying fine food is the year-end present everyone deserves.
Holding the microphone, Victor pauses for a moment, and his eyes sweep over me.
Victor: I also hope that the architect of this party can enjoy a satisfying time tonight.
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He returns the microphone to Goldman and steadily lifts his wine glass to send greetings to everyone. In the audience, I smile back at him and raise my drink to him in response.
Tonight’s New Year’s Eve party is a benefit event for the staff who have voluntarily participated, and everyone can move about as they please. Victor also walks up to me after his speech.
Victor: Let’s go. It’s time for that New Year’s Eve candlelight dinner you’ve been eagerly waiting for.
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MC: It’s the last dinner of this year. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s looking forward to it~
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I smile and take his arm. He lowers his gaze and looks at me, rather helpless.
Victor: Of course. If I wasn’t looking forward to it, how could I have prepared it?
Victor says as he leads me toward the open-air restaurant. On the way, I can’t restrain my curiosity and open my mouth suggestively.
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MC: But you’re right. I’m indeed looking forward to it more than you, and it’s not just because of the beef bourguignon for dinner.
MC: Gee, I also wonder how the result of this year’s last demand will turn out~
But Victor doesn’t give any answer to my words.
Victor: The beef bourguignon in this hotel is made by a Michelin chef brought in from France. Hasn’t a certain someone been craving it for quite a while?
Victor: Now that we are here, let’s focus on enjoying the fine food.
I nod, thinking to myself that perhaps Victor has some “big tricks” up his sleeves and is not disclosing any clues to me on purpose.
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But… even when we’ve returned to the hotel after dinner, and even after washing up, Victor still doesn’t reveal any intention of showing me the gift.
As I blow-dry my hair, I glance at the clock hanging on the wall. The hour hand is already pointing to eleven, and in less than an hour, the year will be closing down the curtains.
I can’t hold myself back any longer and shift over to Victor’s side with the hairdryer in my hand.
Seeing me suddenly coming up next to him, Victor’s eyes flicker a little. He takes the hairdryer from me and continues to blow-dry my hair, opening his mouth while doing so.
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Victor: The New Year’s Eve fireworks display is about to start. I’ve heard that you were personally involved in designing the patterns of the fireworks.
Victor: What’s it like?
MC: You’ll find out when the clock strikes midnight~
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MC: On our anniversary, you gave me such beautiful rose fireworks.
[Tidbits]: MC is referring to the 5th anniversary final segment~
MC: Today, I’m more or less being a “copycat,” you might say. It’s my New Year’s Eve gift to you.
Victor doesn’t say anything more, blow-drying my hair for me. I glance at Victor and speak implicitly.
MC: But, speaking of New Year’s Eve gifts, you haven’t forgotten to get me something, have you?
Victor arches an eyebrow, laughing softly.
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Victor: [teasing, soft, heavenly laugh]  What? Can’t hold your breath any longer?
MC: Says who!
MC: It’s just that… I’m wondering if a certain CEO feels that he probably hasn’t been able to meet my requirements, so he finds it embarrassing to bring it out?
I deliberately provoke him. But to my surprise, Victor remains even more composed than I imagined.
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Victor: A certain someone has handed me so many bad proposals before and never found it embarrassing. So, why would I?
MC: Then you…
Just at this moment, the New Year’s bell suddenly rings out. And accompanied by the sound of piercing the air, fireworks bloom outside the window.
The bright and beautiful colors illuminate the entire night sky splendidly. The streaming fireworks outline the shape of a panda holding ingots, with the logo of LFG flashing underneath.
The surprised cheers of the LFG employees can be heard drifting from afar. The fireworks illuminate Victor’s side profile as he gives his full attention to watching the light show. I purse the corners of my lips as they form into a smile and speak softly.
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MC: Victor, Happy New Year.
Looking at me trying to hang in there and yet unable to help my face from drooping down, an indescribable smile flashes through Victor’s eyes, and he interlocks his fingers with mine.
Victor: It’s obviously the New Year’s a certain someone likes the most. Why did you suddenly turn into a “depressed-faced kitten?”
Seeing that he is knowingly asking this question, I can’t help but puff out my mouth. But Victor immediately follows with the next words.
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Victor: [heavenly laughter]  I haven’t forgotten what I promised you.
Victor: It’s just that… now is not the best time to accept the gift.
MC: So, when will it be?
Victor gives me a glance, smiling. He then pulls me into his arms and gazes at the fireworks outside the window.
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Victor: [laughs softly]  You’ll find out when the time comes.
His tone of voice carries a certainty. The warm breath belonging to him wraps me up so intimately that I can’t help but be intoxicated by it and give up asking questions.
Since Victor has his own plans, let’s focus on enjoying the present moment first.
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
✧ [Chapter 4] ✧
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While still immersed in the sweet land of dreams, I vaguely hear Victor’s voice all of a sudden.
Victor: [softest of the softest whispers x1]  Dummy, wake up.
I open my eyes with difficulty and see that the light outside the window is dim, and the sky hasn’t brightened up yet.
I immediately roll over and bury my head under the blanket again, pulling Victor together with me.
MC: It’s so early. Let’s sleep a bit longer.
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But Victor is unforgivingly persistent. He wraps his arms around my waist and picks me up. Seeing that I’m still not opening my eyes, he seems to release a sigh.
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Victor: [whisper continues x2]  I’m taking you to see the gift you’ve been waiting for so impatiently. Still not gonna open your eyes?
My ears twitch as I vaguely catch the keyword “gift.” My consciousness, however, is still immersed in the half-asleep and half-awake state.
Victor seems to have given up on waking me up. He just directly puts clothes on me, wrapping me up in three layers.
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After wrapping my scarf, he drags me out of the hotel. I follow him in a daze until we arrive at the mountain behind the hotel.
The cold breeze wakes me up to consciousness. I sniffle and hear Victor’s voice resounding next to me.
Victor: MC, Happy New Year.
Victor: It’s time to accept your gift.
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As I open my eyes and see the scenery unfolding in front of me, I immediately find myself frozen where I’m standing.
There is a Chinese rose flower waterfall on the mountain behind the hotel. The pink flower branches extend all the way from the hillside to the valley, reminiscent of spring pouring down in torrents.
But right now, all the rose petals are enveloped with sparkling and crystalline ice. Beneath the hazy sunlight of this New Year’s dawn, they seem to glisten and appear incredibly translucent.
It’s as though someone has frozen the entire spring, giving it to me as a gift.
Unable to fathom all this, I turn to look at Victor. He is holding my slightly chilly fingertips, and the air he breathes out dissipates the cold breeze of the misty mountain, his eyes as warm as spring.
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Victor: [heavenly, soft^∞ voice x1]  The most solid, and yet the softest thing in the world–– is a flower frozen in ice.
Victor: [x2]  It’s solid on the outside but soft on the inside. This is my answer.
I’m rendered speechless for a good while before I find my ability to organize words.
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MC: I thought, what you prepared wouldn’t meet my requirements.
MC: After all, what I asked for was very difficult. Even I, myself, had no idea what it could possibly be, but I can’t believe you really did it…
Victor lowers his gaze and looks at me, his eyes carrying within them a faint smile.
Victor: Disappointed not to see me being embarrassed?
I shake my head and look at the ocean of ice crystal flowers in front of me, my heart incomparably warm.
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MC: I received the best and most precious gift in the world on New Year’s dawn, and I couldn’t be happier!
MC: But how did you do it? I remember that the temperature difference between day and night in Loveland City isn’t sufficient to freeze the petals, right?
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Victor: It wasn’t too difficult to get the petals to freeze.
Victor: The difficult part was to meet the unspecified requirements of a certain “Party A.”
Victor: And also, to prevent her from turning into a “depressed-faced kitten” because she hadn’t received her gift yet.
[Anika’s ‘notes’]: LMAO the pun about having to appease her with “spice-rounds” aksksvkd 😂🥴🫠
I can tell that he is teasing me about last night, and I can’t help but blush a little, coughing in an attempt to cover it up.
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MC: Okay, I was being too impatient yesterday… so tell me, how on earth did you do this?
Victor’s gaze falls on the nearest flower branch, his voice low and mellow.
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Victor: Chinese roses are originally resistant to cold. Therefore, they were watered yesterday evening in advance to seize the opportunity of the temperature difference and have them frozen by the time morning arrived.
Victor: However, when the sun comes out, the temperature will rise again, and they will melt after a few moments.
Victor: That’s why you had to come here at dawn to see it.
Along with the sunlight brightening little by little, this ocean of flowers is also illuminated in even more gorgeous colors.
I hold my breath as I take in everything, trying to securely preserve the beauty of this moment in my heart.
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MC: When we were talking about New Year’s Eve before, I seemed to be looking forward to that particular night more than anything.
MC: But today, you’ve made me like the first day of the new year even more~
As he watches my raised smiling face, the smile on Victor’s face becomes even more apparent. He draws me into his arms, and together we enjoy the scenery that belongs only to us.
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Victor: [that precious, heavenly, soft tone x1]  For me, it’s admittedly important to bid farewell to the old, but the early morning of the New Year also has an equally festive significance.
Victor: [x2]  I want to spend the first dawn of the New Year together with you, to see the first beautiful scenery of the New Year.
Victor: [x3]  This, to me, is the best beginning of the year.
Victor’s words cause my heart to stir gently. Just as I’m about to open my mouth to say something, I hear Victor speaking again after a pause.
Victor: So, is my “Party A” satisfied with this New Year’s gift?
I smile and breathe in the cold breeze blown to my nose, lifting my face to look into Victor’s deep eyes.
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MC: Party A likes it so much!
MC: And it’s the first gift I’ve received in the New Year. It’s very beautiful; it’s as if spring has arrived together with winter.
MC: I wish that our new year will be like this too, just as fervent and beautiful as this rose waterfall!
I fold my hands together and devoutly make the first wish of the New Year, only to hear Victor chuckle.
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Victor: [laughs softly]  Wanting to make a wish whenever she sees something; indeed, as expected of a certain dummy.
He pauses, grasping both my hands resolutely.
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Victor: [return of the heavenly, soft voice x1] With you by my side every single day, for me, time is sufficiently fervent and beautiful.
Victor: [x2]  It has been the truth for every year in the past, and it will be the same for every year in the future.
[Tidbits from Anika]: In case you’re still wondering about those “jewelry customization brochures,” — a lil spoiler in advance (from the phone call), he customized an “eternal rose necklace” for her, while MC decorated their home with all kinds of roses as a token of her “unconditional love” for him~ 🥹❤️
📞 [Calls and Moments]: HERE!
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
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[Anika’s scattered afterthoughts, feel free to ignore haha]
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ingoodjesst · 2 years ago
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man it does not stop getting me that aki is so haunted by the loss of himeno. i know i am just full of brainrot but it just hangs over him and the narrative, and the anime in particular highly emphasizes it with tons of motifs. and like, even though he cared a lot about the rookies he was looking out for, their deaths didn't haunt them like hers did. when you really truly deeply care about someone... it sticks with you it pricks right at the core of ur heart. i actually can't believe i forgot for a long time that aki sees himeno's death flash before his eyes again in hell when he looks upon denji and power. having felt that pain of losing someone he loved, there's no way he could do it again. he finally understands why the thought was so excruciating for himeno and why she died for him. it's why he gets cold feet. fuck dude it fucks me up..........
aki entered public safety thinking that he would only really be sacrificing himself, that it didn't matter what happened to HIM and in some meta ways yeah he is the everyman he would be readily disposable in another narrative. what really distinguished aki from the other devil hunters we see die besides his own self-annihilating cause? and y'know for a while that is enough, that ironic innocence that even though he's seen the deaths of his family he really doesn't understand what this kind of quest entails. it never could've just been him in the line of fire, he was never meant to be a person who is alone. of course he would come to care about others so much that he could not bear to see them die because it's simply inevitable it is simply human. his self-annihilation could never be just his own... and it takes himeno's death - "first death" - to realize that. and it takes literally going to hell and back to realize. this quest is not worth the lives, the connections he risks. and by then it's simply too late.
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barkingangelbaby · 7 months ago
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at least i get to be cozy in a shirt i printed
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another-corpo-rat · 1 year ago
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random Smasher headcanons
figured I oughta get these outta my head and written down somewhere, put them under a readmore to spare the tags my rambling disclaimer; I don’t own any of the sourcebooks to cross-check dates or what’s been confirmed for him but also I cherry-pick from the canon for fun anyways so eh
He was born sometime in the mid to late ‘80s, before the nuclear device was detonated in New York in ’93 but young enough that he doesn’t really remember life before it became a combat-zone. Not to say that life before the attack was easy; his mother was in a gang and he never knew anything about his father other than that he "died squealing like a pig."
His mother washed her hands of him before he was 10, leaving him to run rampant in the streets. There were a handful of other children in similar boats, they banded together to have a fighting chance. Quite a few of them died young, others died stupid. Of his lot, Adam is the last survivor.
His ‘meat is weak’ mantra took root when he was younger – he watched those who were in the imminent zones around the nuclear attack fall sick. An extreme case stuck with him; a man who terrified the young Adam ventured into ground zero of the attack for loot, when he returned his health quickly deteriorated from a towering tank of a man to little more than skin and bone. And then less, as his skin began to peel away. The last time Adam saw his remains they were being gnawed on by mangy dogs in an alley.
He killed before he could spell his name. Hell, it took him getting a literacy chip when he was signing up for the army to learn that.
His surname isn’t Smasher, like Blackhand and Silverhand that’s for show, for reputation. His actual surname has been lost to everyone but him and the old NUSA Army official documents – it exists still on his old dog tags. He buried them in his old stomping grounds in New York.  
His cooling system is a combination of both liquid and fans. The liquid cooling does most of the heavy lifting, with his fans hardly audible. He can manually up their RPM if he wants them heard, for whatever reason.
His torso is warm, not scalding to the touch but enough that he can stifle the air in a smaller room if he’s in there for a time. Think of it like running a server in a room with no air flow.
Due to his brain still being organic, he does actually need sleep just not as frequently as a normal person. He can go push into a month or so without it impacting his performance or mood, but he does push himself past that milestone often enough. He gets notably more murderous the longer he goes. It affects his performance too. Yorinobu knows this, and kept Smasher busy enough that he couldn’t get a full allotted rest even if he wanted to. And yes, this is me trying to reason away why he’s such a chump in his boss fight.
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badolmen · 1 year ago
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Wrote out a big long phone call rant to have with my mother later because as much as I hate it she is my closest irl spiritual confidant 👍 here’s hoping her response to ‘hey I’ve been spiritually depressed and disconnected for like 8 months and for some reason these last two weeks advocating for Palestine has me feeling alive and burning with divine passion and love in a way I’ve never felt before in my life’ isn’t like. ‘Talk to your psyche abt your meds hun’
#ra speaks#personal#religion#oh god these tags got out of hand. look away I’m rambly today.#outing myself as deeply spiritual and devout on main oops#‘aren’t you gay and trans and -‘ listen Israel the person received that name after literally wrestling with gd in the desert#I’m allowed to put my faith leaders in a spiritual headlock for past and present crimes while I live my joyful life#maybe a physical headlock too. I’m down to body slam some wueerphobic racist pos who claim to be faithful while never exercising such faith#also lmao of the idea of a queer leftist being deeply spiritual makes you uncomfortable…bro everything about me makes ppl uncomfortable#I’m bi gender I consider myself a trans gay man and a nonbinary dyke at the same time. I’m disabled and ugly and autistic. im not palatable#accept the inherent apparent contradictory nature of the varied human experience and move on.#sorry thought about that post complaining abt observant jews being excluded from the conversations about queer jews like#you don’t have to get it. you don’t have to think it’s real! but it’s real to me! it’s important to me!#so are you gonna be my transphobic uncle and call me sick and deluded the same way he talks about trans people?#or are you gonna keep your mouth shut accept that you don’t have to understand someone to respect them and move on with your life.#anyways uh. here’s hoping I don’t lose my voice or start crying like I did while typing the script up.#vocational woes
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silverselfshippingchaos · 4 months ago
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i love my husband he's so silly goofy!!
#ash rambles 💚#went on a rant today about how much i hate his source material LMAAOO#i tried to be a fan for so long but after reading the shitty light novels? what a fucking cesspool of problematic shit lmao#i get that the point of the series is that everyone sucks but come on. theyre fucking unlikable#and i hate the fandom#so much#nobody hates s.hizaya like i do. you could even say i dislike i.zaya. all the power to people who him#i just think he's a dick#interesting character maybe. but a dick. also admittedly ive had beef with people who lile him so. yrah#also i think n.arita is a shitty writer#i dont think this series is well written#and this isnt really something i wanna argue but like#it's my blog. i get to speak my truth#however#the series does have my dream man! the man of my dreams! my knight in shining armor! my ideal type! my wonderful and amazing husband!!!!#he's such a comfort to me and i love him#he's amazing#and a great dad#to both my fankid and her pet dog#I'm sorry if this post is incoherent lmao I've been doing hw all day and I'm beat#also i have my drivers exam tmr so like.. wish me luck!#IM ALSO GOING TO THE F.INAL F.ANTASY ORCHESTRA TOMORROW?!?!?!?+#j^×*÷&=&×^÷&@^jahshqysAHJSQGRJQYUEHWJEGWJE#oh i forgot to use husband's tag..#kissing in the van 💍#okay there we go#I'm gonna get back to homework now#i literally just came here to be a hater LMAAOO#also i love my husband he's amazing#and i do wanna say that there are some things abt the series i do like. please dont flame me (after all. I'm already ash. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!)
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narwhalandchill · 7 months ago
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welp those done & over with. kinda dont wanna quick access the weekly just for the namecard challenges but also not sure if im in the mood to do the SQ today either...... since im p sure the mid fight cutscene will play normally even if ur doing quick access for a weekly :/
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noxchievous · 1 year ago
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Lemmy again
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baishouqijia · 2 years ago
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i am desperately trying to be more active but i'm experiencing mental burnout. just want to say thank you for the interactions even when i'm only checking in here now and again - i'll respond when i'm feeling better! <3
#nothing really happened - work and the house just got on top of me.#for context i was promoted to a management position in october and i hit my stride so i have a lot of responsibilities and i'm hhh.#having to play catch up in terms of skillset. i'm good at my job but i'm not the best - therefore ? i must keep pushing :y#as for home... Man (horse.jpg)#we bought a house a year ago. i envy people who renovate days after moving in. we're a year in and i'm only just redoing the kitchen floor#after a leak that happened in JUNE 2022. it's expensive as fuck and takes so much time.#i'm so fortunate to be able to afford a house but like. i won't lie. it's really hard having to be responsible for everything that goes#wrong with it. my kitchen has been subfloor for months. we destroyed our kitchen island trying to make room for the floor to be done#so we're down storage and stuff is just piling up. eh i know this is like. first world problem and really not a big deal.#but when your house is in disrepair because you don't have the money to fix it quickly or time to do it yourself. shit's hard.#anyway this is a rant. don't want a wrench or a tissue- just wanna get it out.#[puts on pantalone hat] i have money anxiety too#like i earn the most i've ever earned. i won't really get much higher than this atm. i'm due a bonus and i can cash out my shares#but fixing up the house is so expensive. i'm worried i'm gonna lose it all somehow. idfk why. when things are going well i worry i'm gonna#lose it all somehow. growing up poor does a number on your resource guarding. if i spend a penny I Will Lose It All.#' dima why do you like pantalone so much ' HE JUST LIKE ME FRRRR#sry this is a ramble . i treat tumblr tags like my diary but i hope you enjoyed the read xoxox#anyways! point is! i'm alive! i'm itching to come back but i dont have the mental space for fun rn.#can't have fun until i feel safe enough to have fun if that makes sense.#aight byeee
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wehaveagathering · 11 months ago
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omg ok tonight's starting goaltender!!! !!! sam ersson starting goaltender tn im maybe actually a little shaky on my feet rn. omfg. omfg.
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