#tbh i knew i needed them. but still. got that news today. fuckin nuts

[so-very-small]

the tiny, inside the walls, hyping themself up: It’s totally fine. Everything I’ve seen from this human shows that they’re kind, level headed, and normal. There’s utterly nothing wrong with this human, and I can totally befriend them! I shouldn’t be scared at all!

the tiny: *peeks out hole in the bathroom wall, looking up at the giant before them*

the giant, in front of the bathroom sink, obliviously doing their nightly routine: *removes their dentures*

the tiny, has no concept of what dentures are, who just saw this behemoth remove all the bones and flesh from its own mouth in one swift pull, without a flinch of pain: what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

[ravenwings-noyreallyback]

Emotions and socialist theory

This is long as fuck but I think it's important and it's broken up by topic. Tldr stop telling people they need to read a book, stop shitting on potential allies, and start asking them what they're thinking about, what worries them, and appeal to those feelings with emotionally honest radical wholesomeness of your own.

---

I want to do something in the local person to person community that gets to people. Something to get people interested and invested in small ways that can grow legs and develop something good, and isn't bogged down in Party Politics.

People know the world's bad. They know capitalism sucks. They don't need a book or a working theory. They need hope and action.

The situation

People are feeling shock, panic, depression about the news in general. Nothing can be done etc.

People feel a sense of being a burden on others when they express that. People want to tip toe around things so as not to freak everyone out. To avoid the morbid grief and anger and fear. They still have it but nobody wants to talk about it in a personal way.

People have a need to express that fear but not in a therapy kinda way, or rather the therapy way would make it very very difficult to maintain and do appropriately for even skilled activists. Folks talk about not pouring from an empty cup? This is like trying to fill a bathtub with a cup and the tub isn't plugged.

Marx wrote a lot about alienation from daily life, not just economic job alienation. Similar to today?

People like radical compassionate sensitivity. There's a need for that.

People don't want a fuckin art installation theatre play or a communist party paper article thing they won't read. If you're reading this it's a fucking miracle. Nobody wants "here's the economic theory about why you're sad and what to do about it maybe it'll work if literally everyone does it" tbh. They engage in memes, in self destructive self care, hedonistic stress eating, drinking, sex etc. And that's okay. That's honestly probably good. Better than being depressed and doing nothing. But they can't go too hard because they don't have to put much time into because life's busy. Fuck is it busy. And every moment you try to get someone to go do theory based activism that isn't Shock and Awe or Radical Wholesomeness, it's just a dull hell grind.

The dsa in the states and corbynism in the uk is good actually, fuck it, for all their problems the ndp in Canada are worth working with. Leftists saying they're all bad because they're socdem really discount a couple things.

A, the massive political emotional energy behind those movements lately.

B, the people in those movements that are absolutely skeptical at least of capitalism. And many are legitimately radical but sticking with it because it's a structure to organize in.

Some history

Marx wrote during a time where theorists were bogged up in utopian socialism, where there were ideals of the kind of world they wanted to live in, but no means to make it happen. Marx wrote it to apply to everyday life in the industrial revolution, and establish an actionable plan for a better world.

Now today, things are in the rosiest of terms, not looking better in a lot of ways, and not optimistic in any. People are almost crying out for some emotional honesty and vulnerability and wholesomeness and just general heartfelt spirituality and human connection in uncertain times. Do I need to tell you how much the youth of today like games and shows that have this zeal of positivity these days? How much energy there is in queer movements? (oh yeah if you're anti LGBT, or honestly even just passively okay with it but not enthusiastic in your socialism, you will be left in the dust by today's movements tbh.)

Marx of course wrote a bit about that alienation shallowness of society thing in terms of talking about cultural alienation (more than just jobs) and the use of religion to people who have nothing else, etc.

Current responses

Today in response to that alienation, we've got irony poisoned reactionaries who don't want to engage with reality, and when they do, hide behind layers of "just kidding" etc and generally want to distance themselves from their victims. Big focus on nostalgia for when things made more sense, idealistic past worlds that never really existed in the first place. Maga and qanon conspiracies about how it all fits together and there's actually a pattern in the chaos. They end up isolated from all but their echo chambers until the pain of not being able to relate to society in healthy ways makes them go and do terrorism out of their conviction that the world is so broken and their way is right.

Meanwhile, good voices with good spiritually connective ideas like the almost saturday morning shoujo cartoon optimism and heart of Marianne Williamson connects with people, but offers no substance (and is backwards as fuck when it does) and proposes a world where if we hope hard enough, we can stop hurricanes and shootings. All for the benefit of selling self help books and crystals. But people still eat that up because it's hopeful and optimistic and fuckin romantic. People go nuts for that kind of optimism. Why don't we have that with good faith?

We do, but not enough of it. Artists and people who are out there pouring their hearts out are doing that good shit. But we need more of that. Hell the dsa is better at inspiring people to get involved with it than the left is.

Voices combining hope and reason and sincerity like AOC and the squad bring what people need, but tearing them down for not being radical enough is kind of stupid. The far left isn't organizing to connect this message of hope to people. We've got cynical takes and hell world worst timeline jokes. We've got theory as dry as Lenin's preserved corpse. We're right about the world being this awful, but God damn that's depressing.

Good responses in the past and today

I think the black panthers got this. They knew this and spoke to it. It was community solidarity first and foremost. People joined up and felt good about it being the right thing to do. It threatened the government in ways no internal western movement ever has, except probably the IRA but I'm not that spicy.

Regardless black panthers good. Standing rock good. Ferguson good. Unist'ot'en good. Antifa good. Soup kitchens and food banks good. Unions good when they actually stand up and challenge unfairness beyond their immediate industry connections. But throwing books by musty ass old men (and Rosa) hasn't worked. Even when they're right and relevant is still an implicit way of just saying "read more and maybe once enough people understand the theory, the revolution will come".

Still read, but don't tell other people to read unless they ask is all. Reading won't inspire revolution. Newspapers and blogs won't either. Informative podcasts aren't.

It's not gonna come that way. People don't respond to theory. Fuck, people barely care about facts.

Idea

Anti theory Theory: peoples' desires for emotionally honest and sensitive narratives isn't reflected in our theory at present. Potentially in part due to the materialist foundations of marxism, and certainly in the often dry motivations and spurs to resistance and revolution, which seems far off and at odds with the timeline of climate change that is weighing on peoples minds. Yes making good differences isn't a timeline thing, but people feel pressure to do it, which makes them even less effective at doing community action. Fear of collapse replaces will to revolt. People want to do something certainly, but lack the emotional connection to revolution. You could say something about base and superstructure being at odds, but I'm not as fluent in those ideas as I'd have to be to articulate.

Regardless, people want hope. Not as a slogan or buzzword, but as an action and a personal connection. They know society's in a bad place. They know there's something deeply wrong with capitalism, if not in general then at least with how it's being used right now. But when theory speaks mostly of society, or our place in it, but never asks "hey, you seem kinda hurt... how are you doing? What's on your mind? Can I listen?", people feel disenfranchised.

So on that hopeless emotional raw angst? Maybe folks just want to be heard and given permission to talk about the things they're told not to talk about? Climate anxiety, job stress, wanting someone to just talk to because social media is alienating and brief and temporal. Like, I'm not gonna interview them, but the right wing reactionaries are scared too. That's why they do what they do. Or at least that's what leads them into the irony poisoned spaces they go to.

Maybe some kind of local project of interviews in a humans of new york kinda way, or a postsecret way, or some other kind of way to ask and get people to tell us "here's what I'm thinking about that I'm afraid to tell even my best friend or my wife" "here's what scares me" "here's what I care about".

Maybe take some time to map out the things people are talking about? Use that as a source of identifying needs. Any excuse to get out there and listen to people instead of telling them things, which they won't always be ready for anyway.

Dunno how much solidarity it would build or who it would reach but it can open up conversations, not to radicalize but just to build a sense of human compassion and connection? Because really, if there's gonna be a left movement that takes off and gets things done, it's not coming from the communist parties, it's not coming from existing anarchist movements, it's gonna be something new and multilateral. People don't respond to theory they respond to emotions and passion projects and stories that get to them and tell them they're not alone. Hell, people say populism is bad? No, it's been used by bad people, but it's just another tool to get people on your side. And thinly veiled racism is only one direction it can take. Populism can help us if we're just straight up about compassion and empathy and listening.

Just fucking close your mouth and open your ears I guess is the point. If we want to be vanguards, we want to know where the movements are, facilitating them, not creating them ourselves.

And that takes listening.

[chaorelance]

storytime

So, look.

It’s time I kinda come clean, a bit. I’ve kind of been rushing over a few people in storytime who have been really present and, well. Kind of some of the most important to me during my stay in BTG, and absolutely why I even went as far as entering the Chi-scape.

...For Nathan, I’ll kill the joke. It’s because that’s really the best way to describe him. Nathan was the generic Protagonist of our group. He was the Faceless Male. He was... honestly, bar that one rape-thing incident a good friend and really unnotable. Which just made that whole shit even more striking.

But he’s really bland and unless you want me to describe anime protagonists for a post I don’t think I need to. I mean, get back to me if you really want me to.

But.

For Resaiyu, that’s because to talk about Resaiyu really was to me and who they were I had to set the scene first. I really, really had to introduce all these people and things.

So that’s today.

And because it’s today, step back with me to the very beginning.

The first time I actually met the infamous Miss Montclaire was in a Final Fantasy game Jin was running, because everyone had... basically already established relationships and friendships when I joined. The game was closing and like, Boton was there, boasting about how she had fucked all the people which like

Remember, she was like 20+ and we were all minors. That woman had issues, seriously.

And I was kind of there...standing on the outskirts, not really knowing anyone.

And then Miss Montclaire happened (once Boton stopped boasting about all the hot erp they had) and I had a friend? And that’s it.

Resaiyu just -made- friends with me, and I don’t even know how it happened. Sometime between the start of JIn finishing this shit up because the man could not keep a story going, and boton storming out for some reason we were friends. Like that was nothing new.

And like, then I found out they were a ~girl~ and oh no teenage hormones and I was a tsundere in their Harem, too. Within the span of maybe like 3-4 hours.

And while not to downplay that- It’s also time I like, properly address that.

I’ve said kind of for a while I was the Tsundere of the Harem, and shit, as if I just straight liked her and wasn’t saying it to her face.

But that’s not fair, because even Little Bun Blue is me, and frankly this may sound strange- but I am usually 90% right.

And I think even for the ridiculous Tsundere Act, Little Bun Blue was right. I don’t think I REALLY liked Resaiyu, in the end. I think there may have been Chemistry I Missed in hindsight, but I think, honestly, I was more In Love with the Idea of Being In Love. Not to even mention Little Bun Blue had trust issues and an even worse view on Romance than present Me, owing especially to his parents just getting divorced.

But like. If you asked me, with a gun to my head, to list three people I had a crush on in my lifetime, Resaiyu would’ve been straight after the obvious.

And even if I frankly didn’t ‘Like’ her, I sure as hell played the role of the lovesick Tsundere the most. I think everyone, as we all belonged to the Resaiyu Harem, played a love interest to her at some point. But I -bid- for that role probably the most, and I think bar one exception (which ended with a LOT of tragedy and mangst, which somehow ended up the closest thing to a good RP in a Chi game, but that’s maybe a side story if people want to actually get an idea what a chi game was like) I never actually played the role, because I was a tsundere and denied it.

Okay maybe there was another time, but somehow I ended up with a baker but that’s a really, really, later story.

But yeah, after that Resaiyu started showing up everywhere. Even though I had never met them before while I was hanging with Beamed, they showed up there now. Resaiyu was an ALLFORCE of BTG, which is part of -how- they built their Harem. The only person close to being in as much of everything was Nathan, but even then Resaiyu clearly just... did more.

The honestly, clearest sign you were sunk in BTG, such as when Gal finally gave up, was when Resaiyu stopped showing up. Because everyone followed her. Bar like, Me an Nathan in that case I guess.

In short, having Resaiyu’s favor was the lifeblood of BTG for a while. Like, before Chi happened and that didn’t matter. And, like, in hindsight? I think that’s actually a lot of why I managed to accumulate so well into the community. I was non-threatening and nice, but I was also non-threatening, nice, and favored by the literal goddess of the community because we were all horny nerdbros and there was one girl tbh

so like, I’ve said a lot about Resaiyu- but like

None of this actually -describes- Resaiyu.

This is what she was to BTG. Not... as a person. And that’s a lot of why I say I think I was just kind of... Not really ‘actually’ crushing on them or whatever?

A lot of this was just Resaiyu being a Girl in a mostly male Community. Especially after Boton was chased the fuck off and M kinda disappeared. And if nothing else, I think that was why I focused so hard on them.

They were kind of like me I think. Or more that, really, in context of everyone else I was like Resaiyu with a slight twinge to aggressiveness. Resaiyu was just kind of softspoken, kind of shy, and overall a nice person.

In hindsight, I’m not convinced they weren’t actually Amra remembering how much they liked Monster Girls, but that’s the booze talking.

But like, that’s not saying a lot. When I say that and I refer to myself- I fully realize that’s because I did not express myself much early BTG. I don’t think anyone I played with, even Resaiyu, who like- was probably the actual closest to me, actually KNEW me.

I acted like this because I didn’t want to reveal who I was. I thought that, on the internet-  you just... acted like a blank slate? Not you. I was afraid if I revealed too much of who I was (while being me) I would somehow get like

Tracked down and murdered.

...and okay, I’ve been doing a subtle lie the entire time, because I KNOW why they were kind of like me. Because they were explicitly hiding something.

And I’ve been -intentionally- obscuring that.

See.

Hensou and Kiba for the most part, were radical figures. I don’t think Hensou was a good person, but they had a point in that BTG was being stagnant and had a lot of fuckin’ problems, and Resaiyu was kind of... one of them.

An unhealthy devotion to a single girl? Yeah, maybe we should stop.

and like.

Remember how I talked about Jin and Ookami? And how in BTG, you REALLY didn’t trust people to be who they said they were? Everyone had to be a white pasty nerdbro like us, ebin early 2000s internet culture dude.

...so like, See.

I think you kinda get it.

So, someday in the later half of the Chi era, I come into the server and Kiba and Hensou are like rapidly Pming me until I say just take this shit to public and before I know it they’re all like ‘Resaiyu is Actually A Dude And We Have Receipts’.

Which, bar none, is probably one of the clearest parts I can remember of BTG for a lot of reasons.

The two were fucking ecstatic, and they had pretty much hard proof and were like

Ready to boast and start shit and make everyone drive off their beloved ‘goddess’.

And Resaiyu comes on, the receipts are pulled, and everything is silent and.... Res just admits to it all with no fuss. Straight up admits to doing it all because they thought they’d fit in better with everyone if they did, which like, yeah.

Honestly, wow did that pan out.

Everything is like, dead silent.

And then, collectively, everyone straight up goes ‘alright, well cool whatev’. And not even remotely halfheartedly.

Hensou and Kiba go fucking nuts because without even a second thought, we all just straight up ignored their big revelation and everything just went on anyway with the knowledge Resaiyu was a guy named Paul on the other side of the screen.

The harem kind of like

Wasn’t even a factor anymore, because frankly it was already basically down to me and Nathan at this point. And Nathan was ~TOO COOL~ to act like he cared, and that gave me all the exodus I needed to justify my year of tsundereness.

So in short, They got away scot-free because fuck it they were our friend anyway, and we all got to watch Kiba and Hensou be REALLY MAD we didn’t freak the fuck out and exile one of like 5 people left playing with us.

And I had a fucking smile on the entire time because it made Hensou upset.

...for the most part, I don’t think the whole thing changed how I acted around Resaiyu either. I had been such a good tsundere I honestly hadn’t even considered I liked them until I started Storytime.

Like, yeah. Still easily one of the top three friends of BTG. I don’t know if I’d want to meet them again but... like. It’d be cool?

idk.

Not sure how to end this one. But like- in short: BTG was such a weird community the one woman we didn’t kick out and like everyone crushed on was legit actually a guy (atleast at the time, no idea where they’re at now.).

And man.

That is one of the biggest rides I wish I could’ve properly taken you all on of BTG.

[warwidowed-a]

here are my collective thoughts on my first listen at b.andstand on broadway. a lot of comparisons are gonna be made to papermill just because i’ve been listening to it for like six months straight waiting for this transfer, so it’s the version i’m used to. this post is NOT spoiler free, by the way. alright, let’s do it.

opening/just like it was before:

totally new arrangement from what it was at papermill, but i still really like the song

lyrical similarities right off the bat to ‘right this way’

“i’d like a good nights sleep, is that too much to ask?”

“the cream always rises” hmmmm, i see what y’all did there (see: donny novitski)

“you talk in your sleep” “i should have warned ya”

why is this score so lit

“if i can’t play, then what’s the point of making it back home?” have i mentioned today i love donald novitski because i feel like at this point i need to say that

that last harmonizing note fuck fuck fuck

donny novitski:

pretty much entirely the same as papermill

donny has some serious animosity at frank sinatra

i like hearing this song with the full orchestra though it’s lit

“donny needs something to block all the memories and break his insomnia spell” again, hello, i love donald novitski thanks

corey cott could kill someone with that last note his vibratto is killer

scene before i know a guy:

“we’re not open yet” “your back door is”

THEY GAVE NATE HOPKINS APPLAUSE AFTER HIS SAX SOLO I’M SCREAMING

i still can’t believe they call michael ‘rubber’ through most of this show

i know a guy:

the “drivin’ me nuts’ joke is still hilarious

JIMMY YOU SKINNY SON OF A BITCH

why is nick radel me

“how do you miss a b flat? it’s a b flat trumpet!”

THAT LITTLE JUST LIKE IT WAS BEFORE REPRISE

why did they skim wayne and johnny shy though like we got full scenes with davy, nick, and jimmy why not them too??

ain’t we proud:

still a catchy song but not one of my favs

NICK GOT APPLAUSE AFTER THEIR SOLOS HECK

corey fucking cott teaching himself piano for this show and you wouldn’t have even guessed what a fucking champ

post-ain’t be proud, pre-who i was:

i love johnny simpson more than anything in this life i will choose his happiness over mine every time

“how much slower will you get, will they put you in reverse” FUCK

you can hear johnny mumbling “sunday.... sunday” before he asks what day of the week is sunday i swear to god i would die for him

“the high balls are on me” “i don’t get it” “well see, griaffes are really tall”

“how bad was it?” “friendly fire got him” “were you the friend?” what kind O F FUCKING FORESHADOWING

“aren’t you a little old for ding dong ditch” julia,,,,,, julia,,,,,,,

i don’t like that they have that interlude and have julia invite him over a different day instead of just inviting him in right away. i feel like that could be cut out honestly

“i just want to know what happened” “what will that get you?” “i don’t know, sleeping through the night? closing a chapter? maybe just getting out the door?” juliaaaaaaa i’m a fucking wreck it’s fine

who i was:

AHHH I LOVE HEARING THIS SONG WITH THE FULL ORCHESTRA

the dinner scene:

“you look pretty” “well, turns out there’s better cosmetics than cake flour” Me: Fucking Squints(tm)

MRS ADAMS USED TO PLAY THE PIANO

THE DEVILED EGGS

“the top of the paprika shaker fell off” i’m

oh shit since they took donny’s parents out of the beginning number from papermill, his mom died when he was thirteen

julia crying while they go through the pictures i’m fine

JULIA ENOUGH WITH THE  CON DOM JOKES

“your daughter’s voice is beautiful, it’s really high” my god donny

just like it was before (reprise):

the chorus of “donny no” and “what are you doing?” from julia and wayne when he tells julia to come sing with them i’m shrieking

“wait, i gotta transpose” JOHNNY

first steps first:

it’s a bit different than what it was but gd i’d still die for laura osnes’ voice

“no need to be so shy, take reassurance i know how to guide you through the worst steps, first steps first” uh more foreshadowing re: donny

“why don’t you kick it up” “oh, thank god” DAVY

oooh yeah i like this new arrangement

“you want a drink?” “oh i hardly ever drink” “you wanna trade livers” davy please

“the best i could hope is to teach the kids choir at church” “DON’T. TEACH.” i love nick sm 

JULIA ASKING ABOUT WAYNE’S KIDS I’M SOBBING OH MY G OD

JULIA TROJAN IS THE LIGHT OF THIS ENTIRE WORLD AND I WOULD DIE FOR HER

their names are emily and grady btw 

“as far as i’m concerned i’m one of the lucky ones” “yes you are, you made it home” “no, lucky i don’t remember” again, i would die for johnny simpson too

god damn julia’s voice is so soft and sweet i’m dying. the voice laura uses is even softer than her ella voice i just wanna hug her

heck they kept the “parents warn their kids about people like you” line god bless

“oh a wise cracker! you might be watching too many pictures” uh ya did you not get the “avid cinephile” line, donny?

“i don’t need to be rescued” ur goD DAMN RIGHT JULIA

“i’ll give it a thought but there are a lot of things i want to know about michael” “first steps first” oh fuck i see what y’all did there

breathe:

“stop touching my stuff with your sweaty hands” this is literally a band full of five year olds

??? this song doesn’t really do anything ???

they could easily cut this song tbh

it’s pretty much just like them rehearsing for you deserve it

you deserve it:

DID YOU MEAN MY FUCKING JAM SECOND ONLY TO ‘NOBODY’? YEP

this song didn’t change pretty much at all and it’s still a bop

CAUSE WHEN YOU GOT THE CALL YOU STOOD UP PROUD AND TALL AND YOU DESERVE IT

post-you deserve it/pre-love will come and find me again:

donny and julia bonding over music i’m shook

“michael is buried in some place called manila, i'll never get to manila, i never got to say goodbye. a lot of things just vanish with not explanation and i wanna know. if-if he was in pain, i wanna know how his hands were folded in the casket and if-if his uniform was pressed and his hair was combed right and a million other things that keep me up at night” i’m sobbing 

julia takes no shit and i love her so much

“i survived mustard gas and pepper spray, i guess that makes me a seasoned veteran” davy’s jokes oh my god

JULIA BREAKING UP THE FIGHT BETWEEN DONNY AND NICK

“WALK ME HOME, DONNY, COME ON”

awwww julia’s poem

“don’t stay up all night reading them, get some sleep” “eh, gave up on that a long time ago” :////

THE LITTLE REPRISE OF WHO I WAS

“when i lost him it broke my soul. who knew my voice could be one part of the whole? well... perhaps someone does” fuck

“gershwin’s got nothing on you” MRS ADAMS 

“i’ll stay up all night, i’m good at that” again i’m ://///////

love will come and find me again:

laura osnes could step on me and i’d thank her

nothing has changed with this song but fuck it’s so good

right this way:

“bayer-FUCKING-asprin”

holy fuck this song might just win corey cott a tony nomination

ACT TWO

nobody:

AKA MY FUCKIN JAM AGAIN

literally the same nothing changed it’s still a bop

NICK ASKING WAYNE TO MOVE IN W/ HIM

“I JUST GOT A LIVE IN MAID” JFC

i got a theory:

LAURA ON THE UKE

nothing much changed with this song either tbh

JIMMY’S GAY AND HE LITERALLY WATCHED HIS BF DIE WHEN HIS SHIP EXPLODED FUCK THIS SHOW

i said it probably like twice already but i love johnny simpson

julia still having her moment of trying to convince davy to stop drinking ://///

post-i got a theory:

“was it quick? did he suffer? was he trying to save someone?” “you don’t wanna know”  “for a year and a half it’s all i’ve wanted to know. was he scared? what was the last thing he said? were his eyes open?” AND D ONNY SNAPS AT HER IM “

JUST STOP IT”

“i’m still waiting”

oh myg od

they changed michael’s entire death 

donny had accidentally dropped a grenade while they were in a trench and couldn’t find it. he tried to tell michael to get out and he didn’t make it and fuck he’s crying telling this to julia what the fuck has this show done to me

everything happens:

“IT WAS HIS FAULT” JULIA JULIA JU L I  A

i love mrs adams so much

what would julia have done without her

welcome home:

JULIA AND MICHAEL LITERALLY MET IN HIGH SCHOOL DOING THEATRE FUCK ME UP

“you know the first thing he said to me? don’t sing because you need to get the lead, sing because you just need to sing. you know what he said next? the girl who got the lead stuffs her bra with so much kleneex, one cigarette act and she’ll go up” no wonder julia wrote poetry for this guy he was smooth as FUCK

“stop picking up my clothes, if i wanted them in the drawer, i’d put them in the drawer” nick relax

donny singing welcome home i’m in tears

HE ENCOURAGES HER TO WRITE WELCOME HOME AS A LOVE SONG IF MICHAEL HAD COME HOME FUCK THIS ENTIRE SHOW

“sometimes i just think, maybe the wrong guy came home” again, fuck this entire show

a band in new york city:

THE GUYS AT THE VA PAID FOR THEIR TRIP SO PURE

this song is still a bop too

this is life:

idk i like this song but i think i almost prefer “give me a reason”

this also hasn’t changed at all from when they sang it at broadwaycon

but holy fuck do corey and laura sound incredible together

welcome home (reprise):

jimmy campbell: the real hero

“we came, we saw, we said fuck it” DAVY IS ME

THIS IS LIFE REPRISE FUCK F UCK FUCK

WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU JULIA IS TRUE. NO MATTER HOW TOUGH IT IS, NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME IT TAKES, I NEED TO BE WITH YOU. AND THAT IS TRUE.

I’M SERIOUSLY HOPING THAT THE CROWD CHEERING IS BECAUSE THEY KISSED BECAUSE FUCK YOU GUYS I’M CRYING THAT WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN JUST THE “I LOVE YOU JULIA TROJAN” FROM PAPERMILL HE WAS LITERALLY CRYING AND I’M LITERALLY CRYING

the lyrics changed a bit to welcome home and it still breaks my heart

finale:

awwwww sweet betsy oh my god

donny inviting her and her family backstage to meet her father who served i’m sobbing it’s fine

it’s literally just a reprise of nobody oh god

it could have been a little longer but !!!!!!

okay, so overall holy shit. a lot changed from papermill. dialogue, songs, you name it. i think the book needs a little re-writing and there are a lot of pointless interludes between scenes that could be cut but!!!!!!! holy fuck overall i love it so much. i can’t wait until we get a video boot i need to see this choreography and ESPECIALLY this is life and before welcome home

[gtzel]

I need to draw this 🤣🤣

the tiny, inside the walls, hyping themself up: It’s totally fine. Everything I’ve seen from this human shows that they’re kind, level headed, and normal. There’s utterly nothing wrong with this human, and I can totally befriend them! I shouldn’t be scared at all!

the tiny: *peeks out hole in the bathroom wall, looking up at the giant before them*

the giant, in front of the bathroom sink, obliviously doing their nightly routine: *removes their dentures*

the tiny, has no concept of what dentures are, who just saw this behemoth remove all the bones and flesh from its own mouth in one swift pull, without a flinch of pain: what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck