#looks at tag: 100% husband material

[andy-clutterbuck]

Edgar Bradley The Murmuring | Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (2022)

[lxvemaze]

shinee bf! headcanons

pairing: ot5!shinee x reader

tag: fluff!!

warnings: n/a

a/n: this is my first time writing in this format, so pls show this some love if you like it !!

more under the cut!

⚝onew

quietly attentive. he doesn't often tell you how much he loves you, but you can see it through his actions. NEVER lets you pay for dinner. he's always sneaky about it, but even if you put your card down, he subtly exchanges your card with his so you don't have to pay a single cent. he's always interested in what you're doing! even if you're just reading a book on the couch or doing your makeup, he's watching attentively and asking questions. he loves to listen to you talk about your day. as soon as you come home from work or from a day out with friends or family, he's asking you how your day went, what you did, if you had a good time, etc. he wants the details, too. so don't leave anything out! he just loves spending time with you. you could be doing the most mundane tasks, and he'd be looking at you with the most loving face. seriously, you could just be like, cleaning the fridge and he'd be staring at you like 🥹 overall, jinki is the most attentive and loving boyfriend you could ask for<3

⚝jonghyun

very loud about his love for you! words of affirmation are 100% how he shows his love in your relationship. you could have just woken up, crust in the corners of your eyes, your hair a mess, stinky morning breath, and creases on your face from laying on the pillow, and he'd just be like "you're so pretty :3" like, omfg. he loooves showing you off, but still likes to keep your relationship private. it's very conflicting for him. he loves taking you to dinner with his family! he loves to watch you talk with his mom while making food and drinking wine. i think he'd like to let you lead the way in the relationship, just so he knows that you two are always doing things that you love and are comfortable with. but!! if you don't feel like making the decisions and just want him to take you out and make the decisions, he's more than happy to do so! he just wants you to be happy :))) overall, jjong wants you to feel as happy, loved, and comfortable as possible in the relationship! (literally my dream man 😔✊️)

⚝key

kibum loooves going out and showing you off !! but unlike jonghyun, he doesn't gaf about keeping your relationship private- he wants everyone to know that you're his and he's yours! will spoil you to no end! you two could just be walking down the street, and you'd point out a cute skirt or something in a store window, and he'd immediately walk in to buy it for you. he treats valentines day like the most important day of the year. he'll pull out all the stops- breakfast in bed, gives you little presents throughout that day, takes you out for a FANCY dinner (probably reserved the whole restaurant for a few hours just so you two would be the only ones there), he even picks out your outfit and jewelry for the day so you two can match. speaking of which!! he loooves wearing matching outfits! not in a tacky, literally wearing the exact same clothes kind of way- but a "classy" matching. like, wearing the same color scheme. just something subtle as another way to show the world that you two are together. in conclusion: kibum is quite literally obsessed with you, and he wants EVERYONE to know it.

⚝minho

immediately obsessed with you from the beginning of the relationship! he is the single most husband-material man in the world, idc. will make you breakfast in bed as often as he can! even if you guys don't live together, he'll literally doordash a breakfast burrito or smth to your house just so he's sure you eat something in the morning. probably starts looking for rings just a few months into the relationship- but he won't tell you that bc he doesn't wanna freak you out. he's so sure that you're THE ONE, though. acts of service is 100% his love language. he just likes doing the little things for you! whether it's hanging up your jacket when you come home from work, washing the dishes, or learning how to make your favorite food, he's more than happy to do it! probably learns how to braid your hair! idk, i just feel like that's something he'd do. like, he'd wanna learn how to braid your hair so it's out of your face while you're sleeping</3. he loves talking about your future together! marriage, kids, retirement, all of it! he just loves to imagine your life together<3. minho is the guy that's in it for the long haul- he's the one you know you're gonna grow old with.

⚝taemin

he's a little weird!! but you love him, so it's okay!! just has the oddest little ways to show his love for you. like, i feel like he bites?? not hard, it's really more like, mouthing?? like, you guys will just be sitting on the couch watching tv, and he'll just gently bite your shoulder. and he'll stay there for a while, just like, holding your skin with his teeth. he likes to send you songs that remind him of you, but sometimes they're just so?????? like, he'll send you a song and be like "this came on shuffle and reminded me of you :3" and you're just sitting there confused like, bro this is literally "fireball" by pitbull??? silly stuff aside, i feel like he'd like to let you plan things!! not bc he doesn't want to- he just likes to let you take charge! you two will be deciding on where to go for dinner, and you'll be like "let's go here!" and he'll just be like, "okay :3" no arguing at all, he'll just go along with whatever you say! but he still likes to take care of you! like, he'll do little things like, zipping up your jacket, or holding the car door open for you, or bringing the blankets up to your chin while you're in bed so you don't get cold :((( also, kind of like the random biting thing, i feel like he just likes to hold you. like, you'll be standing at the stove cooking dinner, and he'll come up behind you and hug you TIGHT. like, you can barely breathe, but you know he just loves you so much, so let him squeeze the air out of you <3. taemin is the type of boyfriend that wants to be romantic, but he's just not really sure how! you two have your own way of going about things, and that makes you happy :)

a/n no.2: i went a little overboard with taemin, but i had a lot to say about that funky guy!! if you liked this, a like and reblog would be highly appreciated!! i love u guys. thanks for reading<333

[silverskyeline]

'number one fan'

series (part 1) - rockstar logan meets popstar wade backstage. what could go wrong? (1.1k words) pairing - logan howlett x wade wilson tags - first meeting, rockstar!logan x popstar!wade, enemies to lovers, swearing, logan feels drawn to wade, alcohol mention, kind of cute, wade is his number one fan, band au, wade still wears his deadpool mask, wade uses the name 'deadpool' as a stage name.

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.

logan had never heard of their support act, but by the name alone he wasn't particularly interested. what kind of a name is 'deadpool' anyway? they probably play some regurgitated heavily sampled pop trash, the same sort of crap they loop on the radio that makes his ears bleed. or maybe metal, but not the good kind.

'deadpool'. . . what a load of shit.

.・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・.

it's not until logan finds himself backstage that he lands eyes on him, the front runner.

well, it's less that it was a casual encounter, more that wade makes his presence known in the only way he knows how.

"OH. MY. GOD." he squeals, balling his fists and shaking them as he squirms in front of the taller man, "it's you." he's adorned in merch, a shirt with logans face on it, badges on that same shirt, plus some stickers that were very obviously homemade. logan winces at the sight, but his eyes are more preoccupied with that mask he's wearing. red and black. what was he supposed to be, was this a sex thing?

there's silence, but only for a few moments, wade quickly fills it.

"can you sign my boobs?" he tilts his head, trying to meet logans gaze, pointing to his flat chest, "pretty please? i swear i won't sell it on ebay - or, well, i mean i guess there's probably people on ebay looking to buy human skin but-"

"don't do autographs," logan grumbles, thinning his eyes as he shakes his head. he pushes roughly past him, eyes glancing around for the rest of the band. why'd he always get dumped with the crazy fans?

"riiiight, gotta keep the fans at a distance, huh? smart, smaaart. . . i promise i'm not the kind of fangirl to hide in your basement. if i was i wouldn't have just told you that," he rambles on, following closely behind logan like a lost puppy, "the attic though? now that's-"

logan stops, wade walks directly into his toned back, stumbling backwards like a connecting bumper car.

taking a nice, deep, calming breath that does nothing to soothe the storm brewing within him, logan turns to face him once more.

"you know, you're taller than your wiki says. you should really do something about that," wade sighs, hands on his hips "unless you're the one that edited it. anyone can edit it, by the way - wikipedia, total garbage fire. i once had a back-and-forth fight with a mod while i tried to change the 50 states of america to just say: 'canada'. rest assured! i am banned for life."

a beat, and logans eye twitches. "do you ever shut the fuck up?" he asks with a look of sheer confusion on his face, he's not even sure what half of those words that spill from his mask-covered mouth even mean. and though he can't see through the material, he can tell the dumbass in front of him is smiling.

"no, not really," he shrugs nonchalantly, "it's one of my charms, that's what my wiki says. totally truthful. 100% accurate. 101% filled with grammatical errors."

logan groans and shakes his head in disbelief, he mutters something along the lines of 'this fuckin' guy' as he walks towards his dressing room. he had to be a joke, right? there's no way this guy was a serious musician, he could hardly hold a conversation never mind an instrument. who the fuck booked him?

"w-wait, where ya' goin?" wade calls out meekly, waving dramatically like a wife who's waving off her husband at war, "am i seriously not gonna get an autograph?"

slamming the door to his dressing room, logan disappears inside leaving wade to shrink in disappointment.

". . .aw man, wait 'till the mutuals find out i met the logan," he smirks, causing his mask to wrinkle as he searches desperately for his phone in one of his many pockets.

-

logan pays no attention throughout the support act, in fact, he remains holed up in his dressing room nursing a bottle of whisky. it was a pre-show ritual of his, and he wasn't going to give it up now. not even when his mind lingered to the little masked creature who annoyed the fuck out of him despite only being in his presence for a few minutes.

what? why the fuck was he even thinkin' about him?

whatever, logan thought, couldn't let people like that get inside your head. you give them too much room and they take root there like a bad smell, and logan had enough anger issues as is. he did not need this guy to make it worse.

so when he takes to the stage, his mind is firmly clear. well, as clear as it can be. logan often finds his mind to be slightly murky, waves never calm or gentle, a storm he couldn't quite tame. but music alleviated the heaviness of his thoughts, grounded him, finding peace in the melody, in the rough texture of the strings, the harsh beat of the bass that hits you in the chest like a bullet.

his eyes open, settling upon the audience.

until one audience member lets out a particularly loud shriek.

one that sounds all too familiar.

logans eyes immeditely hone in on the same guy from earlier. he's cheering in the front row, louder than everyone else. his body is pressed against the barrier as he waves a crudely written cardboard sign in crayon that says 'marry me logie' with a large red heart at the side.

maybe it's something in his pure enthusiasm, or the balls he must have to not feel an ounce of embarrassment, or maybe the fact that he's almost sort of endearing in a pathetic kind of way. but logan finds himself. . . smiling? no, it's not a full smile. that's rare, reserved for real special occasions. but it's close.

he's always found himself drawn to strays, because they often remind him of himself - lost, looking for a home, looking for somewhere to belong. and in that moment, logan could see something reflected in that stupid fucking weird mask of his - a craving for connection.

fuck.

in that moment, logan knew that this idiot had already taken root in his mind and was trying to make a home there. he couldn't let this happen, he wouldn't let this happen. he was a stranger, a deranged one at that.

no, this was not happening.

logan steals a glance in his direction once more.

except it was.

[michaelsfavgirl]

he takes care of you when you're sick

Pairing: Michael Jackson x fem!reader

Tags: established relationship, fluff, Mike being husband material

Word Count: 500+

Requested: yes/no

Author’s Note: first hcs on this blog lets gooo

Links: navigation | masterlist | taglist

Oh boy, let’s get into it

Michael is very protective of you as it is

But when you’re sick Michael's protective instincts kick into overdrive (affectionately)

Doesn't care whether it's just a common cold or something miniscule

He’s immediately treating you like fragile porcelain

But god forbid If it's a fever or a more serious ailment, he's practically glued to your hip 24/7

Good luck getting any personal space during those times

He fusses over you constantly, asking if you need him to fetch you something, making sure you're comfortable

“Feeling any better, sweet girl?”

“Are you getting cold? Lemme just quickly grab your favorite blanket” 

This man can cook, okay? So expect him to whip up all kinds of soups to make you feel better.

Don't you even dare to disrespect him by opening the fridge and trying to make a meal for yourself

he won't hear of it

“Ah ah, none of that, don’t want my girl strainin herself for no reason” 

“Mike i just want to eat-” 

“shh, i’m here to take care of you, let’s get you back into bed hm? You go take a little nap while I make you something okay baby?” you nod defeatedly and take your ass back to bed 

Is very serious when it comes to taking medicine

Doesn't care if you say it tastes like dookie

You’re taking it, end of conversation

He’ll revoke your kisses and cuddles privileges if you don’t comply

He’s pretty cruel as you can tell 

But he’s so sweet afterwards, showering you with praise and kisses

“That wasn’t so difficult now was it?” He says and kisses your pout away 

Will 100% help you shower if you’re feeling weak 

Even when you're not sick, he enjoys doing domestic things with you; it makes him feel fuzzy and warm inside

Michael refuses to put any distance between you in bed, no matter how much you protest that he'll get sick too

This man looks at you like -_- ‘You think I care bout that?’

He'll wrap you securely in his arms and pull the sheets up to your neck

His huge hands gently caressing your skin and humming a soothing tune

As you start to feel better Michael feels a little guilty and selfish

 Of course he wants his precious angel to be healthy and all, but he really gets used to taking care of you so intimately very quickly and wishes it could go on a little longer

You have to remind him that y’all live together and spend most of your time in each other's presence.

It doesn’t get any closer than that but he’s still pouting like a baby, saying he’ll miss taking care of you

As if he doesn’t already do everything for you and spoil you rotten

This man will be the death of you…and you wouldn’t have it any other way <3

© michaelsfavgirl 2024

Taglist: @theladyinmoscow @yeriminist @yeaiamme2 @helloaugustmoon @cinnamoncunt @theladyofmylife @minekarina @kionaaa @theskinniestjackson-denny @anivkye @graciegizmo3184 @theasexual-jackson @mrsmikaelsxn @fallinlovewithevil @armasbw @b3rk1ey @maybe7tommorow @falllovesomemichealjackson

[erensdurag]

Letting my mom rate MW2 characters Pt1

After my last post I thought why not letting my mom rate MW2 characters because she loves watching me play it and picking what characters I should play with (she always picks Nicki Minaj or Alejandro lmaoo)

Enjoy!🎀

Ghost💀(My Husband)

My Mom: 6/10

Me: Aw why 6?😭

My Mom: His face is always covered plus, he looks scary

Me: But he’s a good man I promise…

My Mom: Yeah, to YOU

Me: Damn💀

Soap🧼

My Mom: 7/10

Me: ooh okay why 7?

My mom: He’s a very gorgeous man but I can just tell he plays too much in serious situations. Remember what happened to him in the Loki series??

Me: omfg you did NOT have to bring that up he didn’t deserve that😭

Alejandro🌹

Me: *shows her the pic of him* rate him fro-

My mom: 10000/10 CUZ THAT MY MF MAN

Me:…..

My mom: That could really be my baby daddy idc😌

Me:😭

Price✨

My Mom: 100/10

Me: Okay that’s not bad

My mom: He’s just so dad or husband material after seeing the way he treats the people on his team…I love him😭🩷

Me: omg me too mom😭

That’s all for today I’ll bother my mom to post pt2 soon!

Tags:

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Ruth x maid! Fem! Reader

Ruth is 30 and reader is 24, 6 year age gap cuz I'm turning 23 this year but I think Ruth is supposed to be in his early to mid thirties so I'm being kinda Self-indulent (I didn't want to make the gap 7 years so... Yeah, upped the age).

Not the actual fic that will come out, just a drabble that I came up with

Warnings: slight self-conscious on Ruth's side

Nsfw warnings: fingering, oral (f receiving)

Minors, ageless blogs that barely have anything, dni or you get blocked.

This blog contains/interacts/creates dark content, dni if you are uncomfortable with that.

No tag list for this cuz I'm on the road + I wrote it down on a sheet of paper I left at home.

--

I think Ruth would absolutely have a low sex drive. He just doesn't look like someone who thinks about it often, much less have the urge. I am 100% sure he's a virgin cuz like, look at him. He doesn't know how to rizz ppl up nor does he want to unless it benefits him (having maxi help with making the magical devices, but that was more peer pressure than actual rizz).

I'm just saying, Ruth would be kinda hopeless with asking out the reader, not because he's cluelese (probably seen Gable and the others pick up chicks, so has a vague idea of what and what not to do + can see how unbalanced maxi's relationship with Riftan is. He literally told him to calm down with his antics once, but thats about it if I remember correctly) but because he's just so... Blunt that it comes off as rude.

Maxi literally thinks that in the webtoon when her maid slams his drink down on the table instead of placing it down gently like she did with maxi's cup.

But anyway, I just imagine Ruth as the type of guy who at first, tries to ignore the developing feelings he has for you, and it works, but it gets harder and harder when you smile at him like that, when you return his playful banter and don't get offended at his tone and choice of words. When you don't overstep his boundaries, attempt to get to know him, his likes and dislikes, interests, how you want to learn about magic and you listen to his lectures, hell sometimes he even invites you to sit along with maxi as he goes about teaching her (only if the lady of the castle is comfortable, of course, which she will be after a while cuz I said so).

The way your face lights up in awe and wonder whenever he performs a spell or summons fire from the tip of his fingertips. The very eyes that tend to glance at his lips, and he pretends he doesn't notice. Your hands that are a bit rough from washing clothes, helping in the kitchen, cold water stinging and numbing them when you scrub the castle floors, are the very hands he wants to hold, and sometimes late at night, he imagines them pulling and tugging at his hair as you lean against 'his' table or even the library wall, and fuck if he actually had enough room to use in his tower, he would, his mouth latched onto your clit and fingers pumping in and out of your sloppy cunt -

It's not very often he gets thoughts like that, but when he does, he gets harder than riftan gets with the knights and their training.

He doesn't comment on your efforts to keep the library tidy, organizing his books and research papers to where the place looks presentable, at least. But he shows his appreciation through small favors in return - helps you with the cleaning if times allows for it, showing you flashy yet small spells that don't affect the area or people around (riftan would quite literally kill him if they did), gulping down his embarrassment as he massages your shoulders, ignoring the way you were just a bit too squimish, or how flustered you would get but accept his offer regardless.

It's not even a sexual thing, it just makes him want to wrap his arms around you, take in your scent, confess and just enjoy a simple life with you -

It's not really possible. He's just incapable of showing clear romantic intentions and affections. He's not husband material and he doesn't want kids, and he's very iffy about weddings and marriage in general when it concerns him. Besides, he's older than you, and while age gaps are common, he thinks it'd be better if you were to settle down with someone your own age. Because someone your own age would understand you better, give you children, marry you without worry.

You deserve a loving, caring husband, one who would hug and kiss you, make love to you, respects you, who isn't afraid or uncomfortable with physical affection, and doesn't have a rather bad reputation around the castle because of his personality.

So, when your hands clutch at his shirt, tilting your chin up, mouth pressing against his, he should stop you. He should stop instead of loosely wrapping one arm around your waist, bringing you closer, moving his mouth against yours. He should stop instead of clumsily bumping teeth with you, humming in content as you sigh into the kiss.

He should stop instead of going in for another kiss once you part, finally understanding what makes riftan so crazy about physical affection.

He should stop, but he doesn't.

He can't nor does he want to.

[khoicesbyk]

The Royal Romance.

Forevermore.

A/N: this is the next chapter in the journey of my OTP. Follow along for the fun.

Rated: Mature (at times can and will be Explicit. I'll be sure to change the rating when and if that happens). | Contains sexual content and strong language. (You know? The usual. Y'all should be used to this from me by now 😁) | Bolded and/or italicized words are conversations and thoughts of the characters. | Main Characters: King Marquise Rys (LI) and Queen Shanelle Miller-Rys (MC) | All Characters and names: (except MC and original characters created by me and/or other authors [their characters have been mentioned and/or used in the story with their permission] ) are property of Pixelberry.

Current Word Count: 9,875 words. (may be slightly more or may be slightly less. Look, I stop counting after editing and re-editing and driving myself insane. 🤷🏾‍♀️)

If you’d like to be added to my tag list. Just reblog or DM me and I will gladly add you! 😁😘

This series is rated Mature and/or Explicit. It is NOT reading material that is safe for those under 18. Reader discretion is STRONGLY advised!

Missing a chapter or want to read a chapter again? I got you covered! Click ——> Here!

Tag List: @choicesficwriterscreations @kingliamappreciationweek

Chapter 10.) Dèja Vu.

Shanelle couldn't believe what she had just heard. Again. 

"I'm sorry but what did you just say?" Shanelle asked her doctor.

"The urine test you requested came back. You're pregnant ma'am." Dr Andersen replied. 

She stared at him. 

"Again?!"

"Yes, my Queen. You're pregnant again."

"But! But! I just gave birth! To twins!"

"Yes, you did. Over a year ago. And now you're pregnant again."

Shanelle felt like she couldn't breathe. 

"Your Majesty?" he asked. 

"And you're 100% sure doctor?" she asked. 

"Yes ma'am. Your test was positive," he replied. 

"Should I take another test?" she asked, "Maybe this one was a false positive." 

"We can take another one ma'am but it more than likely won't change the result."

Shanelle let out a defeated sigh. 

"I can not believe this is happening again." 

Dr. Andersen looked at her sympathetically. 

"I know that you might not want to hear this but this is a happy time. For you and The Royal Family. You and His Majesty are great parents. I've seen it with my own eyes. And I am happy for you."

Shanelle smiled softly at him. 

"Thank you, Dr. Andersen. I appreciate it."

"Of course My Queen. I will contact your Obstetrician."

"Thank you again."

Dr. Andersen nodded before taking his leave. The reality was finally hitting her. 

"Oh my God! I can't do this again! I can't be pregnant! Not now! I have way too damn much going on to be pregnant!" she thought to herself. 

To make matters worse, she found out she was pregnant two days before her father's birthday. She was so in denial, that she snuck out of the palace and headed to a local pharmacy and bought as many drugstore pregnancy tests as her arms could carry. When she got back to her office she took every last one. And they were all positive. She is indeed pregnant. 

"Damn it all to hell! Of all the times to be pregnant, Mother Nature chooses to do this to me now?!" 

Shanelle let out a frustrated sigh. 

"I can't believe we're doing this again," she said out loud but not alone, "doing what again?"

She was startled by her husband's voice.

"Don't do that!" she said as she caught her breath, "You scared me half to death." 

"I'm sorry."

He took in the look on her face. 

"Are you okay?" he asked. 

"No. Yes? Maybe? I don't know?" she replied. 

"What's wrong?"

"Umm..." She struggled to come up with words. 

"Okay, now you're starting to scare me. What's wrong? Why do you look like that?"

Shanelle took a shaky breath as she sat down at her desk.

"Close the door and have a seat."

He closed the door and then took a seat across from her. 

"Okay, I'm sitting down. What is going on? What's wrong?"

Shanelle sighed. 

"You're about to be a father again," she said quietly. 

"What?"

"You're about to be a father again," she spoke up. 

"What?!"

"Do NOT make me say it to you a third time!" she snapped at him. 

Marquise blinked in realization. 

"Wait! You're pregnant?" he asked. 

"Yes, I'm pregnant. Ya, happy now?" she asked in a frustrated tone. 

Shanelle closed her eyes to keep tears of frustration from falling. 

"Shanelle, look at me," he said to her. 

Shanelle exhaled and then looked at him. 

"You're absolutely sure you're pregnant?" he asked. 

"Yes. I had Dr. Andersen do a pregnancy test and it came back positive. Then I went out and bought my own. They're all positive." she replied as her voice hitched. 

Marquise reached across her desk and gently took her shaking hands in his. 

"If this is true, why do you look so upset?" 

"Because I don't have time to be pregnant! We have two one-year-olds and a six-year-old to raise already. On top of the fact that two cocky idiots are gunning for our thrones. I can't be pregnant now. It will derail my entire year not to mention that it would derail my life! I can't afford that!" she replied as tears started rolling down her face. 

Marquise stood up and brought her to her feet. 

"First of all, I need you to breathe."

"I am breathing."

"No, you're stressed out and upset. I need you to breathe!"

"Is that an order?"

"Yes. Now breathe."

Shanelle closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"Good. Now I want you to hear me. I know you're upset because of the timing of this but my love this is not something to be upset about."

"You don't understand Marquise!"

"I do understand. I understand that you don't want to be inconvenienced. I understand that you don't want to stop. I understand that you'd rather not have to think about being pregnant. I understand that you feel we have enough to deal with. Between raising our children, running and governing our kingdom, and especially having to deal with this god-forsaken challenge. I know what you're feeling. I know you feel like being pregnant will get in the way of all we're doing. But this is not a bad thing. We will do what we always do, we will breathe, straighten our shoulders, hold our heads high, and rule together."

Shanelle felt him rub his thumbs in circles on her knuckles. 

"This is great news, my love. Our family is growing again. Our parents will be thrilled. Our nieces and nephews will be over the moon. And God knows Khari will be insufferable."

Shanelle chuckled. 

"And our boys, they will be big brothers. Can you imagine how adorably hilarious they will be?"

Shanelle nodded. 

"Yeah, I can."

He tilted her chin up so she was looking at him.

"I know this isn't what we expected. Especially you. But this is the hand we've been dealt. And like all things we do in love and life, we will handle this head-on. Because you know I would never allow you to walk this journey alone."

"But I don't know that I'm ready. I don't know if I can devote time to this."

"The woman I married. The woman I share a life with. The woman who gave me my three beautiful children. The woman who has had my heart since the first time I laid eyes on her. The woman I will always say I love you to. The woman who leads one of the greatest nations in the world. The woman I will lay my life down for. The Queen of Cordonia...is always ready."

Shanelle exhaled slowly. 

"Okay okay. You win." Shanelle said before taking a shaky breath, "While I wish the timing of this was much better, you're right. I can do this. We will do this."

Marquise nodded. 

"Never forget. You are a fantastic mother. The way you love, nurture, protect, teach, and defend our children always leaves me in awe. You are gentle, silly, firm, and caring. Our children are blessed not because of me but because of you."

Shanelle smiled softly at him. 

"I wanna wait to tell people though. I want to take one last test. Just to be extra sure before we start telling everyone."

Marquise nodded. 

"When do you want to tell everyone?"

"Next week. Since my parents will be here to celebrate their birthdays."

"Alright. For now, only we will know. So go ahead and order one more test."

"Okay." 

"And don't worry, my love. You'll see that this is a good thing. Even if it doesn't feel like it right now. You'll see, it will be alright."

"I know it will be. I'm just..."

"Still in shock and disbelief?"

"Yeah."

He pulled her into a loving embrace. 

"Listen to me, I know it's a shock. But once it settles, you'll see the joy in all of this." 

"I know I will."

"So let's breathe then get ready for the madness this is about to cause."

Shanelle exhaled slowly. 

"Thank you for talking me off a ledge."

He chuckled softly. 

"It's what you married me for."

Shanelle smiled at him. 

"Hey."

"Hmm?"

She kissed him. 

"Thank you."

"Keep that up and you'll be pregnant twice."

"And...he ruins the moment."

"You love meeee."

Shanelle shook her head with a small smile before she took one last look at the pregnancy test on her desk before putting it away In a drawer and then leaving her office with him. 

The couple was able to keep Shanelle's pregnancy to themselves until her parents arrived that weekend. And that Sunday was the big reveal. After Khari and her brothers sang Happy Birthday the best they could to their Grammy it was time for cake and presents. While Marquise got the cake with the children, Shanelle gave her parents the news. In the cutest way possible. 

"Got an early present for you and Daddy before the kids get cake everywhere," Shanelle said as she handed her mother a small gift bag.  

"What's this butterfly?" her mother asked.

"Open it and find out." 

Shantel gave her daughter a look. 

"It's not bad. I promise."

"I don't know, this may be revenge for that gag gift we gave when you were 9." her father piped up. 

Shanelle rolled her eyes. 

"Your father has a point." 

"Oh my goodness! Just open it!"

Shantel set the gift bag down and began taking the tissue paper out of it.

"Is there a present in here or is this just a bag of paper?" her father asks. 

Shanelle merely shrugged. 

"Honey, you may be right. Your daughter may have finally got her revenge." Shantel said to her husband.

"Good Lord! You two are impossible."

Her parents laughed as Shantel continued taking out more and more tissue paper. When she finally got to the bottom of the bag, she pulled out a small box. 

"What's this?" Shantel asks.

"You have to open it to find out," Shanelle replied. 

Shantel looked at her and then at her husband before opening the box. She nearly dropped the box after opening it. 

"Oh my God!" she gasped out loud. 

"What? What is it?" Damien asked. 

Shantel held up a positive pregnancy test for her husband to see. 

"What?!" Damien asks. 

They both looked at her stunned. 

"Happy Birthday?" Shanelle said to her parents. 

"Are you serious?" her mother asked. 

"Yeah. It's real." Shanelle replied. 

"You're really pregnant?" Damien asked Shanelle. 

"Yes, Daddy. You and momma get to be Grammy and Pop Pop all over again," she replied. 

Their shock slowly turned to joy. 

"Oh my God! Congratulations baby!" her mother said to her as she hugged her. 

"Thank you, momma."

"Another one? When did you find out?" Damien asks. 

"Yes, Daddy, another one. I found out I was pregnant two days before your birthday." she replied, "I hope you and Momma aren't mad that I didn't tell you right away."

"Of course not my darling," he said as he hugged her. "We couldn't be happier for you."

Shantel dried her eyes. 

"Does Margo know you're pregnant?" Shantel asks. 

"No, I don't think Marquise has told her yet," Shanelle replied. 

"Hasn't told me what?" Margo asked as she walked up grabbing everyone's attention, "I apologize to everyone. I didn't mean to startle you all."

"It's quite alright Margo." Shantel said to her, "This is what your son hasn't told you yet."

Shantel handed her the small gift box. When Margo looked into the box her eyebrows shot up. 

"Oh my goodness!" 

"Oh God no!" Shantel said with a laugh, "Not me Margo." 

"Then who?" Margo asks. That's when Shantel nodded to Shanelle and it dawned on her. 

"Wait! You mean?" she asks before looking at Shanelle. 

"Surprise?" Shanelle replied sheepishly. 

Margo's jaw dropped. 

"Welcome to the Grammy for a third-time club sweetie," Shantel said to her. 

"My goodness! Congratulations my dear!" Margo said as she hugged Shanelle. "I am so happy for you and my son!" 

"Thank you, Margo. I just hope I didn't steal His Majesty's thunder. He wanted to tell you himself."

Margo shook her head with a tearful smile. 

"My heart is so full. I am thrilled for you and him. And especially my grandbabies. They'll be thrilled."

"I'm not too sure the boys will understand."

"This is true. But they can learn." Margo said with a happy sigh, "I wish George was here. He would be over the moon with happiness."

Shanelle smiled at Margo. 

"I miss him. I remember how happy he was when we found out I was pregnant with Khari." 

Shantel hugged Margo. 

"Oh, sweetie. He's here. I can hear his laugh now."

Margo smiled. 

"I can too."

That's when Marquise popped his head in. 

"I was sent here to ask if we are ready for cupcakes."

Margo gave him a look. 

"What? What's that look for?" he asked Margo. 

"When were you going to tell me?!" she replied. 

"Tell you wha—" he asked before seeing his wife mouth the words "She knows", "Ohhhhh! That."

"Yes. That," she said with her hands on her hips. 

"I promise I had every intention of telling you."

Margo shook her head with a smile. 

"If only it wasn't considered treason to pop you." she playfully warned before hugging him, "Congratulations my love. I am so happy for you."

"Thank you, mama."

"Daddy! Are they ready yet?!" Khari asked from the other room. 

"Yes, my love! They're ready. Bring the cupcakes in." he replied. 

"Otay (okay)! We toming (coming)!" Kylo replied. 

The kids brought in a cart full of cupcakes with lit candles in them. 

"Alright boys! You ready?"

"Ready!" they replied. 

"Okay. One...two...three!"

"Happy!" Zyon said. 

"Birthday!" Kylo followed. 

"To Pop Pop and Grammy!" Khari cheered. 

Everyone clapped. 

"Okay, now Grammy. You and Pop Pop gotta make a wish and then blow out the candles."

Everyone watched as they blew out the candles. 

"And now the best part!" Khari said. 

"Cupcakes!" the twins said together. 

As everyone was enjoying a cupcake, Khari noticed the small gift box. 

"What's that Grammy?" Khari asked. 

Shantel chuckled softly.

"That is a very special gift from your mother and father to me and Pop Pop," Shantel replied. 

"What kind of gift?" Khari asked. 

Shantel looked at Khari's parents. 

"I'll let them tell you." 

Khari looked at her parents. 

"Looks like the jig's up," Shanelle whispered to her husband.

"Yup," Marquise replied before clearing his throat, "Come here, my love. There's something your mother and I have to tell you and your brothers."

Khari brought her brothers with her. 

"What is it, Daddy?" Khari asked. 

"Yeah? What?" Zyon asked. 

"Well, it's about our family," he replied. 

"Huh?" Kylo asked. 

"I don't understand Daddy," Khari said to him, "what's wrong with our family." 

"Nothing's wrong baby. This is a good thing." Shanelle replied. 

"Oh okay. So what is it?" Khari asked. 

"Our family is going to be getting bigger," Shanelle replied. 

"Huh?" Zyon asked. 

"What dat (that) mean Mommy?" Kylo asks. 

"Hmmm..."

Khari thought for a minute then gasped. 

"Wait! Is mommy pregnant again?!" she asked. 

"Yes, my love. Your mother is pregnant." Marquise replied. 

"Oh my goodness! I'm gonna be a big sister!" Khari said. 

"You already are a big sister sweetie. But your brothers will be big brothers now." Shanelle said to her daughter. 

"Big brudder (brother)?" Kylo asks. 

"Me and Kyyo (Kylo)?" Zyon asked. 

"Yes, my boy. You and Kylo will be big brothers." Marquise replied. 

"What's that?" Kylo asks. 

Shanelle shook her head with a smile. 

"I don't think they understand."

"That's okay mommy. I'll teach them everything I know!"

Later that evening after telling the rest of Marquise's family, Shanelle was out on her balcony before she was joined by her husband. 

"How are you feeling my love?" he asked her. 

"I'm relieved. Part of our family knows. I still have to break the news to a certain group of women."

Marquise snorted. 

"They will eat you alive."

"I don't mind them. It's the rest of the world that I'm worried about."

He kissed her forehead softly. 

"We will reveal to the world when you're ready and not a moment before."

"Are you sure that we can?"

"Of course. This isn't the first time we've hidden a pregnancy."

"But what about my appointments?"

"You and I both know that there are a million and one ways in and out of this palace. And in terms of your Obstetrician's office, there's a service elevator that we can take to avoid detection." 

Shanelle shook her head impressed. 

"You really do think of everything."

"Any way that I can alleviate any of your stress and keep you at ease, I will employ." 

"I don't know what I'd do without you but I'm not willing to find out."

Marquise chuckled. 

"I do it because I adore you. That's why." 

"Well, you've certainly set the bar high for your daughters' future suitors."

Marquise scoffed. 

"It's cute you assume she'll have any."

Just then, there was a knock at their bedroom door. 

"Now who could that be at this hour?" she asks. 

"I'll go find out," he replied. 

He walked to the door and when he opened it there was an attendant on the other side. 

"Apologies for the late intrusion sire but this just came for you and Her Majesty." the attendant said as she handed him an envelope.

"Thank you. That will be all."

"Of course, my King." the attendant replied with a curtsey before leaving. 

Marquise curiously turned the envelope over in his hand. 

"What is it?" Shanelle asks. 

"Let's find out, shall we?" he replied. 

Marquise broke the seal on the envelope and then pulled an invitation out. He read the invitation with an eyebrow raised and finished with a scoff. 

"What does it say?" she asked. 

"Your presence is hereby formally requested to be in attendance at the official Welcome Ball of Lord and Lady Aldon Douglas Joseph of House Gallagher. Saturday, May 19th at 5:00 PM at the Palace of Dalevandon." He read aloud. 

"No, they didn't." Shanelle hissed. 

"They did. And they're having this ball at King Elgin's old palace."

Shanelle scoffed. 

"So this is bait?"

"Mmmhmm. They want a public spectacle and have sent us this in hopes that we'll reject their invitation." 

"Well, they're right. We are not going."

"Oh yes, we are."

"What? Have you lost your mind?"

"You have to remember, this is about optics. If we don't go, the people will wonder why we're letting them intimidate us. Also, I am not about to be intimidated by a couple of amateurs."

"Ugh, I don't want to go."

"We don't really have a choice, my love. By sending us this they're forcing our hands. And if we don't go, they can say that they tried to extend an olive branch and we refused it." 

Shanelle groaned. 

"I hate courtly politics", Shanelle muttered with a frustrated sigh, "Fine. We'll go but we're not staying all night. I want to tuck our kids into bed at night."

"Deal. I'll have word sent that we'll be in attendance."

"In the meantime, I'm getting in the shower."

"Hey! Wait for me!" 

Shanelle rolled her eyes playfully.

The couple spent the next week flying under the radar until her first appointment with Dr. Ramirez that following Wednesday morning. After coming through the service entrance, they were taken to a private room where they waited for her doctor. 

"How are you feeling my love?" Marquise asked her. 

"Everything all at once. I still can't believe I'm pregnant. But here we are about to have another baby." Shanelle replied. 

"I'm sure. But this is an exciting time for us and our family. I know you're nervous but I am always with you."

"I know. It's just all the changes that are gonna happen. With us. With the kids. With the kingdom.  I don't want to not be present and available for them."

"You have my word, my love. I will make sure that no matter what happens, you will always be seen, heard, and felt. Understood?"

Shanelle nodded just as there was a small knock at the door. 

"Well, this is it," he said to her. 

"Time to get this show on the road." 

Dr. Ramirez and her nurse entered the room. 

"Hello, and good morning Your Majesties. It's good to see you both again."

"You as well Dr. Ramirez," Marquise replied. 

The doctor smiled at Shanelle. 

"And a very good morning to you my Queen. Let me say congratulations to you and His Majesty on your soon-to-be newest bundle of joy." 

Shanelle smiled softly at Dr. Ramirez.

"Thank you, doctor."

"So how are you doing? How are you feeling?" Dr. Ramirez asked. 

"So far I'm okay. No early signs of pregnancy or morning sickness yet." 

"That's good to hear. As always we'll check in periodically to be sure."

Shanelle nodded.

"Okay."

"In the meantime, we have an ultrasound to get started. Are you ready?"

"Yeah, I think so. Even though I hate this part."

Dr. Ramirez chuckled.

"I understand why my Queen. But I assure you that this won't take too long." 

"Alright."

"Now I need you to lie back so my assistant Mara can apply the gel."

Shanelle laid back while holding her husband's hand while Dr. Ramirez turned on the ultrasound machine and her assistant applied the gel. 

"Eek! Cold! Still cold!" Shanelle squirmed while Marquise stifled his laugh. 

"I'm sure it is but the chill will dissipate soon." Dr. Ramirez replied as the screen came to life.

"Now, let's find that heartbeat."

Dr. Ramirez gently pressed the wand to Shanelle's stomach, moved it around, and then stopped when the heartbeat was heard. 

"Say hello to your little one Your Majesties," she said gently to the couple. 

The couple was in awe. 

"Oh my God. They're real. Our baby is real." Shanelle with tears in her eyes. 

"They're real. This is real. This is actually happening." Marquise spoke up. 

They watched as Dr. Ramirez moved the wand around a little more. 

"And this time, it's only one baby."

Shanelle let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh thank God! I would've died if you said it was twins again." 

Dr. Ramirez chuckled. 

"No no. Just one."

Marquise nodded slowly. 

"At least now we know. Thank you, Doctor." 

Dr. Ramirez smiled at Marquise. 

"Of course Your Majesty. Again I am happy for you both."

"We appreciate that," Shanelle said to her. 

"We'll get you cleaned up then we'll give you two a moment alone. But so far we're off to a great start."

After cleaning the gel off Shanelle's stomach, the couple sat together in shock and love. 

"Life loves playing jokes on us, doesn't it?" Shanelle asked her husband. 

"Indeed. How are you feeling?" he replied. 

"I think reality is finally setting in. I think I'm slowly coming to terms with all of this," she replied. 

Marquise nodded. 

"It's a lot. Like a whole lot. But I know you. I know your strength. I know your perseverance. I know your tenacity. And God knows I know your love. I promise this will go smoothly. Unlike everything else in our lives."

Shanelle snorted. 

"Well, when you put it that way, bring it on." 

"There ya go! That's the spirit."

He rubbed circles on the knuckles of her right hand. 

"You never cease to amaze me."

"You always say that."

"Because it's true. Every single day that I get to spend in your light is a blessing I will never take for granted. That's how much you mean to me. That's how much I adore you."

Shanelle smiled softly at him. 

"Hey."

"Hmm?"

She leaned over and kissed him sweetly. 

"I love you."

"I love you too, my love."

He smiled against her lips. 

"I'll call the car."

Shanelle nodded before he stepped outside. When he did he was greeted by Dr. Ramirez. 

"Your Majesty. I'm glad I caught you. I wanted to know if we should do the monthly check-ins that  we did the last time Her Majesty was pregnant."

"Yes ma'am. I would. Again it's not that I want to hide anything from her but if something should arise."

Dr. Ramirez nodded. 

"You will always be my first call."

"Thank you, Doctor."

Marquise stepped away from her to call their car. Later that day, it was time for Shanelle to tell the girls. 

"Now that I have you all gathered here today I have something to tell you lot."

"What is it, Princess?" Nina asked. 

"Now before I tell you girls what I have to say I just wanna preface what I'm gonna say with this, it's all Nina's fault! Y'all can blame her for what I'm about to say." Shanelle replied 

"Me?! What did I do?" Nina asked. 

"You were breathing on me! This is all your fault!" Shanelle replies, "You infected me with your cooties! I blame you!" 

"Oh my God! I haven't seen you since January!"

"That's how long your cooties have been on me. And now..."

The girls were stuck. They didn't know what Shanelle was talking about. 

"What are you rambling about Nelle?" Nina asked. 

Shanelle shook her head with a hand covering her smile that's when it dawned on Nina. 

"OH MY GOD! YOU'RE PREGNANT!" Nina guessed. 

"What?!" the rest of the girls asked. 

"Told y'all it was Nina's fault. She was spreading her pregnancy germs around and I caught them."

The girls cheered. 

"Congratulations baby!" Robin said to her. 

"Thank you, babe."

"I can't believe you're pregnant again!" Bron quipped. 

"I know right?" Shanelle said to her. 

"How are the kids?" Dee asked. 

"Well, the boys don't quite understand what's going on just yet. But Khari? She is...excitedly insufferable." Shanelle replied. 

The girls laughed. 

"Stop that! My Princess is allowed to be happy." Nina said to her. 

"We're so happy for you," Chutney said to her. 

"Thank you, my love," Shanelle replied. 

"How are you feeling?" Aly asks. 

"I am...everything, everywhere, all at once. Honestly when I found out I didn't believe it at first. Hell, I didn't want to believe it. But when it was confirmed that I am indeed with child...I couldn't deny it anymore." Shanelle replied. 

"When did you find out?" Nina asks. 

"Two days before my dad's birthday," Shanelle replied. 

"And you're just now telling us?" Robin asked. 

"Again I was deep in denial. At first, I thought the first test I took might've been a false positive. But when I took at least 8 more tests, they all said the same thing. And well here we are." Shanelle replied. 

"So are you having twins again?" Bron asked. 

Nina cackled. 

"No! Thank God! Besides, my uterus would've staged a mutiny if it was revealed I was having twins again. Thankfully for me, there is only one bun in this oven." Shanelle replied, "this time around the only one having twins is your sister-in-law."

Bronwyn laughed. 

"Well, congratulations anyway. You're a great mom."

"Thank you, baby. Thank you all really. It means a lot to me that you all are happy for me."

"Of course we're happy. Our family is getting bigger." Robin said to her. 

"Some might say that we're the mob." Aly quipped.

The girls all laughed. 

"Nah. The mob is way too disorganized. Besides, they never get away with it. Unlike us." Shanelle said. 

"True!" the girls agreed. 

After speaking with the girls Shanelle found herself out on her bedroom balcony and was joined by her husband who was just ending a phone call. 

"Yeah yeah. Asshole. Thanks again. I'll talk to you soon. Love you too." he said as he hung up the phone. 

"Who was that?" she asked him. 

"Leo. I told him you're pregnant," he replied. 

"Oh good. How is he?" she asks. 

"He's good. He's excited for us. How are the girls doing? How'd they take the news?" 

"They're good. They're excited."

"You didn't blame Nina for you being pregnant did you?" 

"It's her fault. And you know it."

Marquise shook his head with a smile before wrapping his arms around her waist. 

"And now it'll soon be time to tell the world." 

"We will tell the world when you're ready. Not a moment before."

Shanelle sighed contently. 

"So we're really doing this again?" she asked. 

"Mmmhmm. We are doing this again. We will be welcoming a new little one into our family." he replied. 

Shanelle smiled softly. 

"I swear I'm not in denial. It's just..."

"You're still in shock?" he asks. 

"Yeah. I keep thinking I'm dreaming. But nope! I'm wide awake."

He kissed the back of her left shoulder. 

"I'm excited for us. I know I could never go through the changes that you'll go through but I will always be with you and at your side."

"You'd be sickening if I didn't have such a giant praise kink."

"That's why I do it," he said before kissing the back of her left ear. 

"I guess I'm still struggling with the timing of this pregnancy. Well, that and the fact that we're being forced to attend this Welcoming Ball in a few weeks."

That gave Marquise an idea. 

"That gives me an idea."

"What?" she asked. 

"Since we are discussing timing, why don't we announce your pregnancy on Mother's Day? Which is also a week before their so-called ball," he replied. 

"That would certainly steal their thunder. And would force them to share their spotlight that night with us." 

"Precisely."

Shanelle nodded. 

"Okay. We'll announce it then."

"I love it when a plan comes together."

Over the next few weeks, The Royal Couple was able to keep Her Majesty's pregnancy quiet until their announcement on Mother's Day. It took the kingdom by storm and as Marquise predicted, stole the momentum from Lord and Lady Gallagher. Many were happy and excited about the soon-to-be newest royal baby. 

On the day of the Welcome Ball, the couple got ready. Choosing to go with a 20s glam. Shanelle picked a strapless navy blue crushed velour dress that fit and flattered her beginning baby bump with long white gloves. Marquise whistled low when he saw her. 

"Now what is a fine-looking filly such as yourself doing in a place like this?" he asked, showing off his Boston accent. 

Shanelle snickered. 

"You've been working on your Boston accent again." 

"You like it?"

"I certainly do," she replied in a southern belle voice, "well sir, if you must know I happen to enjoy the very finest things in life."

The couple laughed before saying goodbye to their children and making the journey to Dalevandon in what was once West Cordonia. The ride was quiet and pleasant, taking them through the Gianko Valley. As they arrived in the former capital of West Cordonia, Marquise took a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" Shanelle whispered to her husband. 

"Yes, I'm fine. It's just been a while since I've been here. I have...mixed feelings about this palace."

"I'm sure. You spent a lot of time here. After all, your ex grew up here. It's perfectly okay to feel conflicted about being here."

Marquise nodded as they pulled into the motor court. 

"Well, we're here," she said to him. 

Marquise peered out of their limo window. 

"Indeed. And so is the press."

"Hmmm...with us announcing my pregnancy last Sunday, how do you think Lord and Lady Gallagher will react?" she asked. 

"Forcibly polite," he replied as he fixed his watch, "now shall we go dazzle the masses?"

"Lead the way, Your Majesty." 

Marquise was the first to step out of the limo, shielding his wife from the various camera flashes. Once she exited, he took her hand in his and smiled at the cameras. 

"Good evening everyone!" Marquise said to the members of the press. Many clamored to the King. 

"Your Majesties! Your Majesties! Over here!" many were heard shouting at the couple for their attention. 

"Your Majesties! Giacomo Torres here! First off let me say congratulations to you and Her Majesty on your new bundle of joy." He said to Marquise. 

"Thank you kindly," Marquise replied. 

"With Lord and Lady Gallagher challenging for the throne, many want to know why you're here tonight?" he asked the couple.

"We were invited by Lord and Lady Gallagher and it would be incredibly rude to refuse such an invite," Shanelle replied. 

"Agreed. Speaking of you Your Majesty, how are you feeling?" he asked. 

"I'm doing good, thank you for asking. No early signs of morning sickness so far."

"And how are the heirs? Are they excited?"

"Our boys are still very young so they don't really understand what is going on. But their sister is ecstatic at having another sibling." Marquise replied. 

"Thank you both for your time. Do enjoy the ball." Giacomo said to them. 

Both smiled and waved at the members of the press before making their way into the palace. 

"Well that was fun," Shanelle said to her husband. 

"It always is a fun time to show you off, my love. Now let's go steal the show from the idiots." 

The couple was led to the doors of the grand ballroom for their entrance. 

"Introducing His Majesty King Marquise Rys and Her Majesty Queen Shanelle Miller-Rys!" the herald announced as the doors opened. Their entrance grabbed everyone's attention. 

When they got to the center of the grand ballroom, they were greeted in the receiving line by Lord and Lady Gallagher as well as their parents. Prince Dante Laurent and Duchess Josephine Grimes-Laurent and Duke Allastair Joseph and Duchess Daphne Ballenger-Joseph. 

"Your Majesties. It is good to see you both. Our son wasn't sure you'd be joining us this evening." Duke Joseph said in greeting to them both. 

"Thank you, Your Grace. Your son's challenge aside, I would never miss a good party." Marquise replied. 

"Thank you for joining us, Your Majesties." Lord Gallagher said stiffly. 

His mother cleared her throat. 

"Yes, it is good that you're both here," she said to Marquise. 

Marquise nodded politely then looked over to Lady Makenna's parents. Who bowed and curtsied in his direction. 

"Your Highness. It's good to see you and the former Headmaster again. It's been quite some time since we've seen each other," he said to them.

Prince Dante nodded politely. 

"Indeed it has. You were His Highness the last time my wife and I saw you." he said to Marquise before turning his attention to Shanelle, "Hello Your Majesty. It is good to meet you. And let me congratulate you and His Majesty on your pregnancy."

Shanelle smiled politely. 

"Hello, Your Highness. It's lovely to meet you and Her Grace. Thank you very much for your kind words," she replied. 

Lady Makenna rolled her eyes. 

"You and Mama don't have to be so formal Papa. They won't be royals for very much longer." 

Prince Dante gave his daughter a withering look. 

"Makenna! You will show respect! You are not Queen yet! So until you are, you will represent our family with dignity! Now fix your face!" Prince Dante snapped at his daughter. This caused Shanelle to laugh quietly. 

"Do excuse our daughter's lack of manners Your Majesties. She forgets herself sometimes." Duchess Josephine said to them. 

"It's quite alright. Tell me, Your Grace, how is Elgin?" Marquise asked. 

"He is well. Well as well as he can be." Prince Dante replies. 

"His dialysis treatments are going well, yes?" Marquise asked. 

"Yes, Sire. They are going well. My brother is still stubborn but he's still alive." Prince Dante replies. 

"Papa! That is none of his business!" Makenna fussed. 

Prince Dante gave her daughter another withering look. 

"Thank you, Your Highness. I'm glad His Majesty is doing well. I think it's time that Her Majesty and I should take our seats. Be well, everyone." Marquise announced before walking Shanelle to their seats. 

As they walked away, light bickering could be heard from Lord and Lady Gallagher to their parents. 

"Well, that was awkward," Shanelle said to Marquise. 

"Indeed but it was also informative," he replies. 

"What do you mean?" Shanelle asked as they took their seats. 

"Because Prince Dante lied to me. That's what I mean. He's not supposed to be within miles of the old palace," he replies. 

"Why not?" Shanelle asked. 

"Because Prince Dante is the reason why King Elgin owed a debt to my father in the first place. He had a gambling addiction when he was much younger and stupidly he risked his entire family's fortune on a race during the Royal Regatta one year and suffered a devastating loss to my father. And he seized on the opportunity." Marquise replied. 

"Yikes!"

"And when King Elgin found out about his younger brother's blunder, he had no choice but to pay my father. Because of this Elgin banned his brother from ever stepping foot back in this palace. That's why Makenna was mad at him. Because she knew he would be lying to me. Truth is I doubt he's seen his brother in years. The last time he was here I was maybe 12 at the time. He hasn't been back since to my knowledge."

"So do you think King Elgin knows his brother is here?"

"Hard to say but with the state he's in, I don't think there's much he can do about it." 

"Curiouser and curiouser. Do you think she's playing on her uncle's sympathies?" 

Marquise shrugged.

"She wouldn't be the first noble to do so. And I doubt she'll be the last. That's probably why Dante sent Makenna to court. She was meant to be a peace offering. But I don't know if it worked."

The room quieted down as Lord Gallagher gave his opening remarks. 

"Good Evening everyone! On behalf of my wife Lady Makenna Laurent, I want to welcome you all to our first of many balls here at my wife's family palace. I know some of you are loyal to Their Majesties. And I understand why. I don't blame you for your loyalty to them. I will be honest I didn't think Their Majesties would have had the decency to join us this evening. I am glad to see I was wrong. It is good to have you both here with us tonight. And my wife and I do wish you a warm and sincere congratulations on your new baby-to-be."

Marquise raised an eyebrow and then nodded at him. 

"Now I understand that many of you don't know us. Therefore you're not sure you can trust us. My wife and I understand that. We also understand that we must earn the trust of the noble houses and the people. That is our goal for tonight. And let me just say, we are not challenging for the throne because we want to overthrow the monarchy. While it is hard for me to admit, I will give the current monarchs their credit. They have indeed done things for Cordonia. Many nobles and commoners alike have prospered under their leadership. Her Majesty's overhaul of the healthcare system of our kingdom alone is a feat that should be marveled at and celebrated. Because of that overhaul, many of our people were able to afford the life-saving healthcare they needed. My wife's uncle included. I thank them for that. But I am not blind to their misfortunes either. It was because of them we all were threatened by the Via Imperii."

Shanelle rolled her eyes quietly. 

"And the unfair taxes many of us have had to pay. While yes, I can admit that money goes toward the healthcare system, education system, and emergency services and yes, none of it goes directly to either of them, we are well off now. We don't need to keep paying higher taxes. We don't need to keep doing trade, especially risky trades with hostile nations. And we certainly don't need to involve ourselves in petty squabbles between other nations. As many of you know, Kasnia is at war with Sulovaria and your King wants to involve us in that. That is military resources we don't need to expend. Not to mention he and the Queen spend more time gallivanting across the globe than they do at home."

His Majesty set his jaw. 

"That is the irresponsibility my wife and I are trying to avoid. Unnecessary and costly wars and useless vanity points. We need leaders who have common sense solutions for everyday problems. They don't have common sense solutions. They don't have Cordonia's best interest at heart. But my wife and I do. That is why we are throwing this ball. It is our hope that tonight we will be able to change your minds about us and them. With that, let dinner be served!" 

Servants busied themselves serving the first course of dinner. While they ate, Their Majesties discussed Lord Gallagher's opening statement. 

"Well, what did you think?" Shanelle asked her husband. 

"Not as bad as I expected. I knew they would take shots at us, but they played well to the crowd by keeping them at a minimum." Marquise replied. 

"This is gonna be a long night isn't it?" 

"Unfortunately but we're here and you are still pregnant. Which is something they didn't account for. We can still use that to our advantage."

"I love it when you get all political strategist."

"It's literally my job."

The main course, which was venison medallions in a wild boar ragu with chanterelle mushrooms and roasted Brussels sprouts, turned Shanelle's stomach. 

"Are you alright?" Marquise asked. 

"I don't think I can eat any of this. The smell of the mushrooms is making me queasy." Shanelle replied. 

"Hmmm...let's see if one of my favorite of King Elgin's staff is working tonight."

Marquise was able to flag down one of the staff. 

"Your Majesty! It is so good to see you again! I haven't seen you in ages!" the staff member said to him. 

"Thank you, Tarlov. It's good to see you as well. Listen I don't mean to be a bother, but could I get something else for Her Majesty to eat? With her being pregnant, her senses are sensitive, and the mushrooms of the entree are making her feel sick. Perhaps you could indulge me just this once and have something lighter prepared for her." 

"Oh dear! Of course sire. Right away!"

"Thank you again, Tarlov. Give Winnie my regards."

Tarlov nodded before taking Shanelle's plate away to the kitchen. 

"Ugh! Thank you. Another second and I would've ruined the china." Shanelle said with a groan. 

He rubbed the knuckles of her right hand. 

"You're welcome. I'm surprised Tarlov is still here after all these years."

"You two greeted each other like you knew each other."

"Tarlov has worked in the palace for years. He's one of the last bit of loyal staff that Elgin has left." 

With a new entree delivered Shanelle was able to eat. After dessert was served it was time for dancing. Lord Gallagher took to the middle of the dance floor. 

"After what I said earlier this evening, this may seem surprising but if Her Majesty would be so kind as to join me for the first dance?" he asked the gathered crowd, "I promise you, Your Majesty, I mean no harm."

With all eyes on her, Shanelle took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and walked onto the dance floor. 

"Thank you. And I mean what I said, no tricks. Just a dance." Lord Gallagher said to Shanelle as he offered his hand. 

"One dance. That's all you get," she said to him as the music started to play. As they began to dance Lord Gallagher regarded Shanelle with an appraising eye. 

"I saw you had your entree switched. Was the food not to your liking?" he asked. 

"No. The mushrooms made me queasy and rather than have me ruin King Elgin's fine china, His Majesty asked if a different entree could be prepared." Shanelle replies. 

"Well you'll have to forgive me. When we planned this menu we had no idea you'd be pregnant by the time we threw our ball. Also, you could've asked me. I would've happily had another dish prepared for you." 

"No thank you. I'd rather not eat rat poisoning."

Lord Gallagher rolled his eyes. 

"Despite what you may think—", he began to say before she cut him off, "save it. I'm just here to dance. Not have a conversation."

"I am trying to be polite," he said through clenched teeth. 

That's when Shanelle accidentally stepped on his right foot on purpose. 

"Why you!" he hissed. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry, my Lord. How very clumsy of me!" 

As they danced, Lady Makenna took the time to sidle up to Marquise. 

"That was quite a speech your husband gave Kenna. It was almost convincing albeit a tad bit boring."

Lady Makenna let out an exasperated sigh and then cleared her throat. 

"As much as I don't want to do this, Your Majesty would do me the honor of dancing with me?" she asked.

"No," he replied. 

"No?" she asked. 

"You heard me the first time. But for the sake of appearances and because I want to get my wife as far away from your husband as possible," Marquise said as he adjusted his cuff before offering his hand, "shall we?" 

Lady Makenna huffed before taking his hand and going out on the dance floor. They danced until it was time to switch partners. Shanelle couldn't get away from Lord Gallagher fast enough 

"My knight in shining armor!" Shanelle said to her husband. 

"That bad?" he asked. 

"Let's just say there are only so many times I can accidentally step on his toes on purpose." 

Marquise chuckled. 

After an hour of dancing and mingling with others, it was time for Lord and Lady Gallagher's closing remarks. 

"Here we go," Marquise said to Shanelle. 

"Can we just get this over with?" Shanelle replied. 

"Once again, my wife and I would like to thank all of you for joining us tonight. It is our sincerest hope that we were at least able to change some of your minds. Now—" Just as Lord Gallagher was giving his speech there was a loud pop. 

"What was that?" Shanelle to Marquise. 

Her question was followed by another larger explosion that rocked the room and knocked the giant chandelier off its chain sending it crashing to the ground. Marquise pulled Shanelle out of the way of the falling chandelier just in time.

"Guards! Guards!" Marquise called out to his guards. 

"Fire! Fire! Everyone out!" a staff member ran in yelling. 

"Your Majesties! This way!" one of his guards called out. 

"Guards! Get everyone out of here now!" Marquise ordered as he and Shanelle ran out of the ballroom. Without looking back the royals ran outside. When they got outside they watched as smoke billowed out followed by shooting flames. 

"Oh my God!" Shanelle gasped. 

A guard came running up. 

"Your Majesties! Are you alright?" the guard asked. 

"Yes. Her Majesty and I are fine. Gather as many guards as you can and get as many people out as fast as you can. And get emergency services out here to get those flames back!" Marquise ordered. 

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" Shanelle whispered in shock. 

Marquise took his jacket off and wrapped it around his wife. 

"Are you okay?" he asked. 

"I'm fine. I just..." she replied clearly shaken up. 

"I know. But you're okay. We're okay." he said as he held her close to keep her calm, "we're safe. I promise we're safe."

"Back! Back! Everyone back!" a guard instructed the gathered crowd. 

Everyone got as far back as possible. Many watched in horror as the old palace burned. Once emergency services arrived Marquise decided it was time to leave. 

"Come on. Let's get you home," he said to Shanelle. 

He led her to a waiting car. As he got in, a dark figure watched from the trees. As they drove away, the flames from the burning palace lit up the sky. When they returned to the palace, they were greeted by Margo and her parents. 

"Oh my God! Are you two okay?" Shantel asked, "We saw the news."  

They both nodded.

"What happened?" Damien asked. 

Shanelle nodded numbly as Marquise spoke. 

"There was an explosion while we were inside. And when we got outside there was heavy smoke and flames."

"Oh my goodness! The staff!" Margo said. 

"Do you think there will be any casualties?" Damien asked Marquise. 

"It's too early to tell. But when I hear something I'll be sure to let you know." 

Damien nodded before turning to Shanelle who was shaking. 

"You're shaking my darling. Maybe you should get to bed."

Shanelle nodded. 

"We'll take her." Shantel said to her husband, "Come on sweetie. Let's get you down the hall."

Margo helped Shanelle up. 

"Come, Your Majesty, gently now. That's it. Nice and slow." 

Marquise and Damien watched as they walked down the hall. When they were out of earshot Damien spoke. 

"Are you alright son?" Damien asked. 

"I'm alright. It's just been quite the night." Marquise replied. 

"I'm sure. I won't keep you long, go check on her and have a restful night."

"Goodnight Damien. You do the same." Marquise said to him before turning to walk down the hall to his bedroom. When he got inside Shanelle was sitting on their bed with her mother and Margo. 

"Thank you ladies. I'll take it from here."

Both mothers nodded before leaving. Marquise sat down next to his wife and wrapped his arms around her. 

"Are you alright?" he asked. 

Shanelle took a deep breath. 

"I'll be alright. I'm just in shock. That's all."

"I'm sure. Thankfully we got out of there safely. And hopefully, I'll know more in the morning."

Shanelle nodded. 

"In the meantime, I've had enough excitement for one day. I'm going to bed."

"Good. Let's get some rest." 

The next day, Shanelle stayed with their children, while Marquise was in his office on the phone with the authorities. He had just got off a call when Shanelle came to check on him with food. 

"Hey, you," she said to him. 

"Hey, beautiful," he replied. 

"You look like you haven't eaten yet." she said to him, "So what have you heard so far?"

Marquise sighed deeply. 

"Unfortunately the old palace has burned down," he replied. 

"What?!"

"It's a total loss. Nothing could be saved."

"Oh my God."

Marquise shook his head before taking a bite of his food. 

"It's such a shame. I really did enjoy that old palace."

Shanelle raised a questioning eyebrow at him. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked. 

"Whatever you decide it to mean," he replied. 

Shanelle crossed her arms and gave her husband a challenging look. 

"Marquise."

"Hmm?"

"Did you order that explosion?"

Marquise shrugged. 

"Are you insane?! You could've killed someone! And what about King Elgin?" 

"King Elgin wasn't even there last night."

"What do you mean?" Shanelle asked. 

"While we were all in the ballroom, he was being safely evacuated. By the time the blast happened, he was on his way to his summer home on Lake Gianko," Marquise replies. 

Shanelle shook her head. 

"And what about Naya and her daughter Bernadette?"

"They are already at her father's summer house. I had them moved last week then I had His former Majesty moved. So it wouldn't look too suspicious." 

"Well, that explains why he wasn't at the Welcome Ball."

Shanelle sighed. 

"This is about to be a PR nightmare," she said with a groan. 

"Agreed. But it's a PR nightmare we don't have to deal with."

"Tell me something."

"Anything."

"How did you do it?" she asked him, "And don't you dare lie to me."

Marquise looked at her coolly before snapping his fingers. Soon an opening in his bookcase opened and one of his guards stepped in. He was dressed in black and silver. He was one of Marquise's Crown Shields. The guard knelt down on one knee with a fist over his heart. 

"My Queen." the guard said to her with his head still bowed, "My Liege."

"My love. You remember the Crowd Shields don't you?" Marquise asked. 

"Mmmhmm. You only employ them in emergency situations or at least that's what you're supposed to do." Shanelle replied. 

"True indeed. But since you wanted to know, now you know. This is Captain Desmond Emilo Felix. He's the current Head of the Crown Shield." Marquise explained. 

Shanelle nodded then looked at Captain Felix.

"It's good to finally meet you, Captain," Shanelle said to the Captain. 

Captain Felix rose to his feet and executed a perfect bow. 

"You as well, my Queen. I'm glad we could finally meet."

"Captain Felix is how I was able to pull off the explosion. You see, Captain Felix is a former member of the US Military." 

Shanelle nodded before looking at Captain Felix. 

"You're American?" she asked. 

"Yes ma'am. I'm as red-blooded as you are. I'm originally from Kansas City. My parents still live there. I served for 6 years in the US Navy as a SEAL before transferring to the Cordonian Army where I rose through the ranks. And was selected by Captain Nevrakis to lead in her stead when she retired." Captain Felix replied. 

"And now you're my husband's official unofficial right hand?" she asked. 

"Yes ma'am. I am at his beck and call and yours if and when need be," he replied. 

"He is the one who started the blast while we were in the grand ballroom," Marquise explained. 

"How?" Shanelle asked. 

Captain Felix cleared his throat. 

"It's quite simple. The Crown Shield has schematics of every noble house and palace. Including this one and the former palace of South Cordonia. It was just a matter of overloading the circuitry and turning on the gas. And making it look like a mere accidental gas leak." Captain Felix replies. 

"The goal was to scare and distract people. And I'd say we succeeded."

Shanelle sighed deeply then nodded. 

"Well, I guess I'll take your word for it." she said before turning to walk out of Marquise's office, "oh! And one more thing, touch my palace and I'll kill you both."

"Understood," Marquise said to her. 

The next day, after getting their daughter off to school and leaving their sons with her mother, Their Majesties returned to the old palace in Dalevandon to inspect the damage. When they arrived at the old palace, the devastation was clear. Where the former palace of West Cordonia once stood, there was now nothing but ashes. 

"I know your plan was to scare and distract people. But I think your plan worked a little too well." Shanelle whispered to her husband as they took in the damage.  

"Perhaps. But as long as the goal was attained, I'm satisfied," he replied. 

They were led to a podium where members of the press were waiting. Marquise held up a hand to quiet the murmuring crowd.

"Good morning everyone. Today is a sad day for us all. The Great Palace Of West Cordonia has been lost to a terrible accident. This is a heavy and personal loss for many. Myself included. But I want the people to rest assured that no one else will suffer. Thankfully there were no human causalities. Everyone from the guests to the staff to His former Majesty were all safely evacuated. The damage is being assessed and for those on staff who are now out of work, you will be compensated for your loss of work, your health insurance will continue, and resources to find other work via the Monarchy will be provided to you at no cost."

The reporters all clamored at once. 

"Your Majesty! Donnie Brine of the CBC here. It has been reported that the explosion was due to a gas leak. Can you confirm that?" Donnie asked Marquise. 

"Yes, I can. Preliminary reports suggest that the blast was due to a gas leak. While the investigation into the blast is still ongoing, the early reports confirm that a gas leak is the cause of the blast." Marquise replied. 

"Or maybe it wasn't an accident at all!"

The crowd turned to see Lady Makenna marching up to the podium with her parents. When she got to the podium she got in His Majesty's face. 

"You did this! You set the fire that burned down my family's home!" she accused. 

"Be careful with how you speak to me, my lady," he warned her. 

"I am not afraid of either of you! This is what my husband and I are talking about! You're so afraid of losing your throne, that you will destroy any and everything to keep it!" she yelled at him. 

Shanelle looked at her. 

"And just what are you and your husband doing to assist in this tragedy?" Shanelle asked Lady Makenna, "Other than accusing His Majesty of causing the fire that is."

Lady Makenna glared at Shanelle. 

"Because for the last 48 hours, the only people who have remotely done anything to assist in any way outside of the locals, are His Majesty and myself. What have you contributed hmm? While assisting those in need should never be a competition, I will not stand here and listen to you accuse your King of any wrongdoing."

As the press whispered fiercely, Marquise held up a hand to silence them. 

"She's right, my lady. Because challenge or not I am STILL your King! And you both are still subject to my rule! But since you're here now, why don't you tell us all what plans you and Lord Gallagher have for the people in the wake of this tragedy hmm." Marquise said to her as he gestured to the podium, "Go ahead, my lady. This is your chance to one-up us." 

Lady Makenna backed down. 

"Oh, so you don't have a plan? That's not surprising. Perhaps your father can come up with one. Oh! Wait! That's right I forgot. He isn't supposed to be anywhere near the palace. After all, the reason why your uncle owed a debt to my father was because of him and his gambling and that foolhardy bet where he risked your entire family's fortune." Marquise said to her, "See, I knew he was lying to me this past Saturday night when he told me King Elgin was doing well. When the truth is, he nor your mother or your siblings have seen King Elgin in years. So why would you host a ball in a palace your father was banished from? It is quite a curious thing." 

That sent the press into a frenzy. With many trying to get Lady Makenna's attention. With the media distracted, Their Majesties stepped off the podium. They finished their tour of the remains before departing for home. When they got to the palace, they headed to the throne room where they were greeted by Captain Felix and a few members of the Crown Shield. 

"Your Majesties. There's something you need to see."

The couple looked at each other.

"What do you mean Captain?" Marquise asked as a side door opened. 

"He means me..." a voice spoke up. 

The couple froze and when they turned around. Shanelle gasped and Marquise was beside himself. 

"Hello, Your Majesties. It is good to see you both again."

It was Lord Tariq Sauvageon. Alive and well. 

But how when he's been dead for years?

[tuxebo]

sometimes i want to get back to writing long fics, but then i remember i have mouths to feed (yes, you). anyways, i was talking about the viktors in my last post's tags and i wanted to elaborate on that.

okay, when i say rookwood is husband material, i never said he was good husband material. while the reason you relationship would work is because of small moments that are really sweet. you may think he's changed, but he'll act like it never happened right afterwards.

the way you meet is probably the most tragic part of it all and sets the tone of the rest of your abusive relationship. so, you happened to be a halfbreed (wizard x smth, most likely veela or siren) that he planned on selling but decided to keep for himself. alternatively, you could have been trying to protect some animals from poachers but he still took the animal and you. he's a greedy scoundrel.

he won't hurt you, per se, but he will trophy wife the life out of you. personally i wouldn't mind that, but i could see why many people would. this isn't your average trophy wife, this is something else. he brings you everywhere in a "buy animals or materials from me and you might bag yourself a beauty like this one" kinda way. at the same time, you would not be the beauty the customers bag because your his, gout a brand and all. mhm, he 100% puts his name on you somewhere.

now, you may be confused. that isn't husband like at all, and i agree. we need to look into the finer details here, my dears. in letters, on the rare occasion he doesn't bring you along as some marketing ploy, he writes your name like it is that of a saint's. you can see in each pen stroke, it is some of the most gentle movements your lover has ever made. after long days of hard work, yelling at his workers and standing around as they do all the work, he finally has time to think about you as he winds down.

he holds you all the same as well. like a creature he want's to be gentle with but has no clue how, so as a result he just watches from afar. you have your own room and he has his, objectively yours is just nicer, and you have people waiting on your every need and want. he won't bother you or talk to you the longer you are together, aside from times you'd bump into each other in his manor or stand face to face with only a bookshelf between you.

someone very similar is another viktor, viktor krum. now he is not abusive unlike someone we know, he's definitely a watcher as well. he shows his care and love with his eyes, and sure there's more as well.

now not entirely unlike rookwood, he will drown you in expensive things. look at him, he's been a professional quidditch player since before he even became an adult, he's a wealthy guy; by ethical means, i might add. he doesn't only lavish you in clothes or jewelry, but whatever hobby or career it is you have. you like astronomy? have a planetarium! you're a writer? have the entire library from beauty and the beast. your wish is his command.

which brings me to, he is so princess bride coded. if you take nothing from this post at all, take this one thing. he has a similar phrase to "as you wish" that he says whenever you tell him something, while it may seem like a "whatever, i'll just do what you say to get it over with" response, he actually means to say "i love you" each time he says it. it is rare that he goes out of his way to speak, even rarer that he outright says he loves you, but in his eyes and actions you know he means it.

krum is actually very smart loves, think about it. if you want to go on about a certain topic, he'll keep up just fine. for starter's, he's read the books he's seen you read in case you want to talk about it, also he's just a naturally intelligent guy. it's how he could keep up his grades and quidditch, a lot of things he just knows.

pause, he does that thing where he'd very, very gently bounce his leg while you're sitting on his lap and telling him something. vodka in one hand and a look in his eyes that one would have when look at their entire world. oh my, hand placement on the waist too, not even in that kind of way but he's just o perfect.

[windsweptinred]

10 Characters/10 Fandoms /10 Tags

Thank you for the tag @two-hands-toward-the-sun, this took me on a deep delve of my fandom past! Time to roll out my gaggle of glorious bastards again...

1. Ken Ichijouji - Digimon 02

Babies first blorbo. Puppy kicking, whip weilding antagonist who giveth not a shiteth. With a soul as black as his gloriously groomed locks. Who, by the power of love is transformed into the soggiest little puddle of twink you ever did see. Tragic backstory ✔️ A smorgasbord of issues ✔️ A realtionship with their rival/best friend so obbsessive, you're going to have a harder time proving this ship isn't a thing than it is. ✔️ Ken Ichijouji came with everything a young, naive millennial needed to make their first glorious steps into the world of fandom.

2. Ryou Bakura/Yami Bakura/Theif King Bakura - (Same body, they count as one!) Yu-Gi-Oh

Ryou Bakura - Adorable British cupcake with the soul of a traumatised lovecraftian cultist. Staring into the abyss while having afternoon tea. Gothic horror in a cream knit.

Yami Bakura - Actual murder floof, the walking personification of a horror podcast. In his wake trails body gore, supernatural mystery and gay subtext. Part demon, part Egyptian theif, 100% bringing sexy back. (bonus points: Florence)

Thief King Bakura - Traumatic back story maketh homicidal rogue. Wears red, has a social circle made up of ghosts and snake monsters... Is this not prime husband material?

3. Starscream - Transformers

Darling little duplicitous second in command of the Decepticons. Not just any 'Little Shit', THE 'Little Shit'. Simulatiously the dumbest and cleverest bot in any room. And that, my friends, takes a particular breed of talent. Negative traits, scheming, petty, fabulous. Postive traits, scheming, petty, fabulous. Repetitive attempts to off Megatron, play of either the power or fore variety. Not sure which, could be both.

4. Darth Maul/ General Armitage Hux- Star Wars

I will not and cannot choose a favourite between them. Instead, watch with wonder and awe as I neatly compress them into the same blurb...

Sad meow meow with self-worth issues does galactic war crimes to prove 'daddy' wrong. What do you mean my fixation with thwarting my archnemeis can't be classed as a hobby/career goal/life ambition? My voice can launch a thousand ships... Different circumstances, same truth. Such a pathetic little sausage, you'll want to sit them down and feed them soup. But they know atleast 101 ways to kill you with the spoon... So best not risk it.

5. Crowley - Supernatural

The diabolical king of cunt serving. Me and my athletic calves are doing this right thing for all wrong reasons...And you can't prove other wise! Alignment: Risk it for a biscuit. Four step program to deal with all life's problems: 1: flirt at it, 2: shout at it, 3: throw (please pick your chosen Winchester or, if pushed, tailor) at it. 4:... Yell bollocks and follow with a whiskey chaser.

6. Desire/Destiny of the Endless - The Sandman

Again, not picking. Desire, my darling little hell kitten. Destiny, my inglorious bastard in brown...

This is my world, you MFs all just live in it!

My emotions... Which I do not have, are the route cause of everyone else's problems.

Ah humanity, the dust bunnies upon which I sneeze.

Even in a glorified bathrobe, I'm still better then you, and you know it.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that Dream of the Endless is a f*cking dumb ass.

7. Remy Lebeau (Gambit) - Xmen, Marvel Comics

Marvel looked at their collection of motley mutant misfits. And realised they had a morally dubious, disaster bi shaped hole to fill... And there Remy Lebeau has been for for 30 slutty, slutty years and counting. Sex in fushia pink spandex. Single handily keeping thievery in Americas top 50 kinks. Slowly exhausting the world's supply of playing cards... Must be considered a traitor to the cause atleast once a decade to keep his street cred. Must be considered a secret Summers brother atleast once a decade to keep his ego in check.

8. Jonathan Crane (Scarecrow) - Batman (DC)

Scythe wielding, reigning and defending Trick or treat world champion since 1941. The physical attributes of a Giacometti sculpture with the rustic aesthetic of the folk horror genre. Grumpy old man syndrome dialed up to eleven. Pets: Craw the crow, Nightmare the raven... Edward Nygma. Built a life manifesto based on a gothic novel... Oh captain, my captain.

9. Alfie Solomons - Peaky Blinders

All hail the great arisen god of Margate. Who looked upon Tommy Shelby and called him smol. Weilds tomfuckery like a pepper spray straight up the jacksie. Views betrayal as a bonding exercise. Somewhere in his words are the the meaning of life. Still awaiting the lab results as to whether this man is the anthropomorphic personification of chaotic neutral. Not even part of the egg and spoon race. Will still manage to win with a watermelon and a novelty spork.

10. Elias Bouchard - The Magnus Archives

(art by @felix-krain and @caligosatchel)

Cluedo character brought to life by malevolent eldritch entity for sexy end of the world shinnanigans. I suspect either Proffesor Plum or Reverend Green, professional opinions vary. Maintains the inability to move more than one square at a time when enacting nefarious schemes. Still has a preference for homicide by kitchenware. Comes with all the British, arch dilf energy of an Agatha Cristie villain. Taking the horrors from the hands of privileged elite and unleashing them on unsuspecting white collar workers. Eye, chin and tits first.

Whelp, that's my ten fictional characters/fandoms. Men folk (and Desire) addition. When I say I like them on the morally grey dulux colour chart. I'm not exaggerating. 😅

I'm tagging, at your pleasure @mashumaru @aisalynn @bobbole @tickldpnk8 @writing-for-life @marvagon @missingrache @rriavian @jazzy-a and @ibrithir-was-here

[weaselgirl]

A Matter Of Chance (14537 words) by Weaselgirl1988 Chapters: 3/12 Fandom: Dungeons and Daddies (Podcast) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Nick Close | Nicholas Foster/Lark Oak Characters: Nick Close | Nicholas Foster, Lark Oak, Glenn Close (Dungeons and Daddies), Taylor Swift (Dungeons and Daddies), Sparrow Oak Additional Tags: Name a character they are probably here somewhere, Marriage of Convenience, Fake Marriage, AU No forgotten realms, canon typical generational trauma, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Eventual Smut, ex friends to husbands to lovers, Slow Burn, Nick has no idea what is going on, But this is not new for him Summary: “So what you have told me is you live alone in a rented studio, with no permanent income, no social support network and that you were out of Taylor’s life for nearly 3 years while you were ‘finding yourself’. You have never paid child support even though he lives with his mother, who is in permanent work with a long term partner in a home she owns outright. We haven’t even looked at any criminal history or drug use- I know it’s legal now, but have you ever done it around Taylor? That’s what I thought. If I was a family lawyer- and I definitely am not- I would want to be paid upfront, because this would be over very quickly.”   Nick's life was not going exactly to plan, despite his "best" efforts. When his ex-wife Cassandra gets in to a new relationship, she throws another spanner in to works already pretty full of spanners. Out of other ideas and other options, Nick is forced to consider an offer from some old friends he would rather not have spoken to at all. In order to maintain his family, he's going to have to move past some old grudges and let some people in.

I do not usually promote my fics on here, because people that want them will find them. But I have put so much work in to this one, that I am putting my big girl knickers on and sharing it.

I am up to chapter 8 in terms of ready to go material, so it will be finished! Marriage of convenience that will 100% have my usual smut level in by the end. Lots of backstory and character stuff too, I promise!!

God I hope at least one of you likes it

[andy-clutterbuck]

Ricky Dicky Doo Dah Grimes™

[roseband]

im losing my mind at far right and far left comments saying "automated tee shirt factories" or "ill just learn how to sew"

fuck you all don't know where your clothing comes from and you're all so consumer-pilled, shopping-maxxed to even look it up???

any people who go into debt for the prices that are gonna raise, deserve what's gonna happen to them.

"ill just learn how to sew" is my fave. cause nearly all my designer clothing that isn't samples, is out of goodwill/goodwill bins cause people don't know how to do minimal basic repairs or to bring their fucking shoes to a cobbler anymore lol. i should not be getting an alice/olivia top that retails for $300 for $10 cause it's only missing 5 beads.......fix your fucking stuff? my great grandma taught my grandma, who taught my mom, who taught me how to sew as soon as i could hold a needle.

also.....a significant amount of fabric mills are in fujian. do you think there's magical crude oil processing plants in the usa making your polyester and rayon plastic threads. your cheap clothing is practically ALL made of plastic???? even guterman, famous german polyester thread brand, has moved the bulk of their processing to china for their non eco friendly specialty line.

your raw materials to sew from will be tariffed..... we don't have girls getting scalped by machinery in lowell anymore here.

"we'll retrofit factories here".... the current top of the line automated direct to garment printer is the m&r polaris. (starts at 800k and can print 10 shirts at once, but you still have to place the shirts on the initial plates). other printers in factories ive been in require shirts to be moved from screen print plates for each single color. which is labor.....to be paid at american wages. this is printed in usa, but blanks are from overseas "made in america of imported materials" babes and we STILL hit capacity at our normal factories during our main quick turn events and have to source additional factories at work.

"automated apparel"..... mostly apparel managerial roles are in the states. mostly east coast as the industry shifted from all production to mainly design/managerial cause like lowell, ma...nyc....new jersey "the embroidery capitol of the world", the south with the horrors of the cotton industry. we're not the ones who are gonna be bonked

"new york fashion week needs to suffer" is a hot take from the left i saw.......it's here cause the apparel management, design, and sales roles are here, do you think the /products/ are for new york? what i present during our internal nyfw calls is sold in EMEA, AUS, UK, USA ffs. i work on stuff produced globally?

there is no luxury automated apparel industry. there's automated cutting machines that can cut 100s of bodies at once, but the stacks have irregularities and have to be sewn......by hand. even with industrial sewing machines/sergers there's a human shoving that fabric thru the machine and sewing nearly every seam.

20% of the labor force in american domestic apparel manufacturing is undocumented immigrants.

when there's production in el salvador, bangladesh, and china we all have people in our companies who's role is "go to factory, make sure there's no slaves"..... my husbands next promotion is the "go to china make sure there's no slaves at the fujian factories and mills" role cause he chinese and speaks fuzhounese...

this is what the reality of your $30-40 shirts IS. you're not gonna get $20 shirts with royalty art made in USA. it's too much labor.

and with luxury apparel it's STILL chinese slaves. in italy and france they've both done raids of the designer brands production houses and found literal indentured servitude. undocumented chinese immigrants making 1-3 euros an hour. that "made in italy" tag is a lie, when it's made from illegally imported chinese labor at chinese slave wages.

people love to say there's "nothing in thrift stores" in some demented social justice type language about "plus size" or "leave clothing for poor people" but 75% of what goes to the floor in thrift stores goes to landfill. this is after it hits the thrift store outlets (the $2.50/lb bins)

it's so frustrating to see this crap tbh. "ill learn how to sew immediately" should we have a party, should we invite anna wintour?

[jakeandhaas-blog]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: NWOT SLVRLAKE Revolve Jeans Sz 28 Hero Slim Straight Pacific Wash 100% Cotton.

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

7.19.24 Friday

7:17 am

Still,have windblow...

Garbage collector is here and I threw all the trash ... Confirmed our old washing machine for 10 years is really on E3 ( error 3 )... It is beyond my knowledge to handle it... I changed the light bulb of Neko, good thing I have 1 left here for her...

Uncle Jun's behaviour seems mysterious but already went out... He is helping on food but on other things nah! Still,cheapness angels...

Still,thinking of money and Lazadah is already calling me to pay my creditz... I need to process my BPI but still looking for money to do that... It is for Teleperformance Molino Disney account.

I did stream last night before 12 midnight until Cinderealla is dead,angels ( even after midnight or passed midnight ).

8:19 am

Still,have windblow...

Nourishing nana's mind before doing something but still thinking of money and my job and my progress,angels...

8:25 am

We played twice, pares2x or pairing cards by two's.

I won on the first round, on our 2nd round weird!

My last card is A of hearts and nana's last card is 7of diamonds... How did it happen? Is there a magic spell Garret? Ash? My cousin-white???

Goosebumps...

11:37 am

Still,have windblow...

Biological mother thank God! She went here to get the curtains and blankets for the "master bedroom"...

I just cleaned the side part of receiving area, the best that I can do coz we have no stock room here. We are somehow over-loaded of still an important stuff to keep here...

Sir DD? Sir DD again??? My biological mother told me that Uncle DD is demanding on cleaning and I'm doing it coz I'm mature and I know Uncle DD is on his strategy to ask money on Aunt Teresa...I still need some "talent fee" here... Hmm... Why, will Uncle DD will ask money from Aunt Teresa??? I thought they are working...

I can't do anything to hide this side part coz we have no stock room...But 100% I removed the dirt or dust...Those are stuff of John & Neko and some cleaning materials... Few stuff of Uncle Jun.

7:34 pm

Still,have windblow...

Done,eating dinner with the rest of the gang here... Done,brushing John's teeth as well.

Biological mother went back here around 6pm with Allen ( husband of Maco ). Thank God for their kindness... They brought back the curtains and blankets. Some are dried already and most of it I still hanged there at the hanging rope to fullt dry it...

Uncle DD needs to fix tha ac and bring some sacks... I just hate him for being demanding and threathening us here as if a "super Sir DD". He is the Jesus or Judas he is the one should manage to fix the other ac...

Me? I'm looking forward for the "talent fee".. I need to go back working and I have to exercise again... I just stopped for few days to totally clear the house here, removing dust and dirt in the living room and in the "master bedroom". Still, I need to process something for my job in Disney account. My dream and frustration to visit or work in an actual Disney in USA or Canada???

Uncle Jun should cut the grass tomorrow... It is not my ideal life here to be simply flatten this way... I can't get a bf that I want like my cousin-white or Garret or Ash...

It is bitterish for me that my first cousin on Aunt Ten2x on my biological father side is already married...

Garret and Ash are all successful artist to be considered...

I'm always left behind and I have so many complexeties and frustrations... I really do feel "self-pity" for 17 years... I wanna buy Starbucks everyday... I wanna progress on my vanities. I wanna travel... I haven't tried travelling and be happy... My 17 years were stolen just for nothing... I feel self-pity!

They just want to see me fat and ugly and nothing. This is for the guilty people???

Thanks Ely for the back-up... It is already 5k pesoses today since month of March.

I will do live in Tagged later angels... I hope guilty people can drop by in my space in Tagged.

9:26 pm

Still,have windblow...

Done,watching "Cinderella in the Caribbean"...

[svnflowermoon]

“ I'M FEELING AMAZING . . . ”

i hope you enjoy your time here <33

anon list || pronouns page || pinterest || spotify

➵ you can call me lucy or luce and any other nicknames that fit, also i adore petnames

basic info. ➵  they/she, 17, lesbian (also somewhere on the aroace spectrum idk babe I'm confused), certified romantic advice-giver, enfp, gemini, nz, i adore dogs, plant mum, i love painting, pesto lover, writing is my life, i love going on walks and picnics, I'm 100% a spring girlie, i can't live without music, spotify is the loml, pinterest whore, i hate coffee (sorry), avid lover of platonic love, i overshare on the internet, slytherin, i don't ship real people but idc if you do as long as you're respectful about it, i love character design!!! i've been told by my best friends that i'm a real life nick nelson & remus lupin (also a wet cat but let's just ignore that ahahaha <3 i am insanely obsessed with halley's comet by billie eilish and i literally have a tag for it that's how much i adore it (#THE SONG OF ALL TIME) i often disappear from tumblr for a while due to my mental health <3 free palestine!!!

music. ➵  billie eilish, conan gray, maisie peters, gracie abrams, chappell roan, FINNEAS, holly humberstone, lyn lapid, sabrina carpenter, olivia rodrigo, ABBA, arctic monkeys, fletcher, queen, claire rosinkranz, girl in red, phoebe bridgers, boygenius, renee rapp, troye sivan, lauv, harry styles, niall horan, lizzy mcalpine, griffy, johnny orlando, ricky montgomery, zayn, maggie lindemann, louis tomlinson, beabadoobee, ella jane, cigarettes after sex, emei, tate mcrae, lana del rey, melanie martinez, 5sos, the neighbourhood, chase atlantic, clairo, hozier, paramore, and more

books. ➵ osemanverse, hunger games, anne of green gables, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, a good girls guide to murder trilogy, the other side of the sky, his dark materials trilogy, red white and royal blue, i kissed shara wheeler, marauders era (not the actual series just the marauders. also anti jkr ew fuck that bitch), six of crows, shadow and bone and more

movies + tv shows. ➵  spiderverse movies, marvel, stranger things, heartstopper, young royals, red white and royal blue, first kill, anne with an e, hunger games, gilmore girls, i am not okay with this, my policeman, shadow and bone, she-ra, httyd, and more

characters. ➵ natasha romanoff, wanda maximoff, james potter, kate bishop, loki, katniss everdeen, max mayfield, robin buckley, tara jones, tori spring, alex claremont-diaz, jimmy kaga-ricci, georgia warr, evelyn hugo, remus lupin, sirius black, regulus black, lorelai gilmore, remus lupin, sirius black, elle argent, tao zu, beth harmon, finnick odair, jesper fahey

art. ➵ i love art but posting it is terrifying. i've just started doing digital art last year but my stupid ass drawing tablet broke so uh yayyy no more of that for the time being. i mainly paint but I'm doing printmaking at school so that there's more variation

my blogs. ➵ 

alt acc: @goldwingangell

writing: @svnflower-writes + my ao3 is sunflowerrmoon

mediocre poetry: @lostmypagewhenyoukissedme

aesthetics: my moodboards @partyfavorr

billie eilish icons: @eilishicons

note. ➵ i would love to be friends with you, please do not hesitate to message me/send me an ask (preferably an ask im an awkward mess in dms) i literally cannot shut up so if you talk to me abt anything i love i will enthusiastically respond (often in all caps) <3 my discord is the same @ i use here and if we're close you can ask for my insta <33 if you know me irl please stop looking at my blog. there's a 96% chance i don't want you looking at this blog, please don't take it personally <33 also, i'm sorta selective abt who i follow back and i rarely follow people back who don't have an intro post or a bio with an age bracket, name, and pronouns.

➵ thank you for reading my intro post <3

“. . . FUCKING AMAZING .ᐟ ”

[itsclydebitches]

I mentioned in the tags of a recently reblogged post that I had Opinions™ about the “OFMD fandom is racist because they’re interpreting Ed as illiterate” take that’s been gaining traction lately, so I finally decided to slam those opinions into a post. Specifically, I want to list the textual details that made me, personally, come to the conclusion that Ed is (likely) illiterate as a means of pushing back against this growing idea that anyone who crafts meta under that assumption, includes it as a characterization in fics, uses it as a means of theorizing about season two, etc. is automatically coming from a place of racism... rather than, in actuality, a pretty solid canonical interpretation. So some things this post is not includes:

A claim that OFMD/fandom in general isn’t racist in other respects. I’m speaking solely about this one example.

A claim that Ed is definitely, 100%, no room for discussion illiterate. I believe it’s a likely possibility based on what we’ve seen, but the show hasn’t provided confirmation one way or the other.

An attack against any headcanoning. Fans are free to imagine up and/or hope for whatever they like, regardless of how persuasive a reading others find it to be.

Okay, I’m doubting my ability to string this all together with halfway decent transitions right now (the heat is making my brain buzz like TV static), so let’s just stick to a list form.

1. Lucius Establishes That Illiteracy is the Norm in Pirate Culture

First off, OFMD introduces class differences in the pilot episode by having Stede gush about the “full library” he has on board... to his personal scribe... who is writing down his thoughts and adventures purely for vanity’s sake (the fact that they’re later used to save Stede’s life is a separate matter from his intentions here), only to suddenly get hit with the knowledge that no one else on the ship can read.

“That’s not... is that true?” he asks, dumbfounded, and then Stede answers his own question with a rather distasteful scoff. Lucius responds with a look that I can only affectionately caption as, ‘This bitch.’ 

(I am also once again apologizing for the horrendous ‘screenshots’ taken with my phone.) 

All of this is deliberate. We’re setting up the dichotomy of pirate vs. gentry culture, as well as one of Stede’s major flaws. Namely, using the privilege of his upbringing as a crutch/personal safety net (with a side of that arrogant superiority: “Don’t debase yourself for a man who doesn’t even have a tureen on board!”). This is why Oluwande and Jim need to explain that for them, piracy isn’t a fun, midlife crisis and Stede comes to the realization, “I’m not a pirate, I’m an idiot.” Wealth is why he’s able to run from Ed the moment his anxiety gets the better of him, hurting him and Mary in one fell swoop when he shows back up all, ‘I’ve decided to be your husband again the same way I decided to be a pirate. Everyone bow to my whims and the privilege that allows me to enforce them!’ The ability to pay wages and read bedtime stories is what keeps Stede’s mutiny on hold for so long (a sharp contrast to Izzy who has no such luxuries to offer as a way of offsetting his own, difficult personality), Stede’s gentlemanly demeanor (born of a lifetime of social education) is what first draws Ed to him, then it’s his material wealth, and finally Stede giving up his fortune to return with only a dinghy and the clothes on his back is the sign of emotional growth.

Literacy isn’t the only marker of Stede’s privilege—far from it—but it is a major one and it’s important for setting up this contrast that drives much of the character work. Yes, Lucius is technically wrong about being the only other member of the crew who can read, though it’s clear why he came to that conclusion when Jim was pretending to be mute and couldn’t just say, ‘Hey, I can read and write too.’ Beyond that one mistake though, we have no reason to doubt Lucius’ claim. Not when the group is worried about who will continue their bedtime stories if Captain is dead and Lucius sucks at the voices. Don’t we think someone else would have spoken up to solve the dilemma if they could? More importantly, revealing that actually more of/most of the crew can read would severely undermine that thematic work of Stede’s upbringing—and that goes double for the man who represents the pinnacle of pirate culture: Blackbeard himself. We see through our flashback that Ed does not come from a place of privilege, which includes both education and material wealth based on how the show has defined privilege via Stede. Though it’s hardly impossible for Ed to have picked up reading later in life while still grappling with the trauma of growing up poor, for me there’s nothing to indicate that. Far from it: the show goes out of its way to emphasize all the ways in which Ed and Stede contrast one another, with Stede’s privilege—reading included—presented as markers of a life and emotional expression that Ed simultaneously longs for, yet feels that he’s undeserving of.

2. Ed is Shocked By the Amount Stede Has Read

When Ed is presented with Stede’s library he acts like a man who has never had access to so many books before. “Incredible,” he whispers, staring at the shelves in awe.

Except then Ed goes on to specify what exactly he’s in awe of and it’s not the books themselves. “You’ve read all of these?” he asks Stede, the ‘all’ emphasizing his shock that any one man (even in his forties) could have gotten through this many volumes. Ed doesn’t act like someone impressed with the beauty of the library itself—like we might see if he too was a reader and was simply impressed by the pretty bindings—but rather at Stede’s ability to read any library, but particularly one of this size. When Stede says that these are just his favorites, Ed gives a little huff of stunned disbelief. These are not the reactions of a man who frequently keeps books in his own cabin to peruse. Rather, they’re the reactions of someone who hasn’t read much himself, if anything at all.

In addition, Ed doesn’t engage with the text when Stede hands him the book. I’ve seen a couple people say that Ed can clearly read because he knew that was a picture of himself, but really, it’s not a hard thing to deduce. Even if Stede hadn’t led with this being something he thinks Ed will enjoy—AKA, it’s likely something about you—for all the fantasy details of nine guns and snake-like hair, Blackbeard is pretty distinctive in his look. That’s that point. He has long hair, a massive black beard, dresses all in leather, and is depicted with pirate-y things like ships and treasure. You don’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out who that’s supposed to be an illustration of. The point though is that there’s a page of text to the left and, more importantly, a big title claiming he’s “The Mad Devil Pyrate Blackbeard,” yet Ed doesn’t take issue with the “mad” or the “devil” part. He jumps straight to looking at the image itself, despite the writing being just as valid a detail to get angry over as the nine guns.

3. Ed Treats The Books He Comes Across as Disposable

Going off of his reaction to Stede’s library, I think it would still be possible to argue that Ed is primarily impressed with the number of books he possesses (another kind of material privilege) if we didn’t see Ed get access to a huge number of books and immediately discard them. In “The Best Revenge is Dressing Well,” they raid the vessel where Stede finds several shelves of books, enough that he also refers to it as a “library.” This tells us then that most ships probably have at least a couple books on board and many, like this one, might have a big selection. So if Ed had wanted a library like Stede’s, he could have easily gotten one. He’s Blackbeard and he’s been looting ships for several decades at this point. The only reason why someone that impressed with Stede’s books would pass off so many opportunities to get his own would be if he doesn’t have a use for them, especially when books don’t carry the same toxic masculinity implications as a cashmere scarf does. Blackbeard, the legend, should be able to read with a safety that he couldn’t, say, dress in a flowery robe and recite poetry. Books are a fairly safe form of expression for a pirate (and entertainment too, something Ed lacks!) yet he doesn’t make use of them.

Instead, the way Ed acts here heavily implies to me that a) he can’t read (or can’t read well) and b) he’s feeling insecure about it. He snaps that this isn’t “how raiding works” when Stede says he’s replacing the books he’s taken with ones he’s already read, despite the fact that Ed has been pretty chill for the rest of the attack and, notably, usually likes Stede’s eccentricities. The most likely reason why he’d suddenly frown at Stede not raiding 'properly’—in a relationship where Stede’s new way of doing things is usually exciting and fascinating to Ed—is if Stede’s book focus is dredging up feelings of inadequacy. Ed opens the book, but flips through it in a way that shows a distinct lack of interest... or an inability to read it. He tosses it aside. Then he slaps the rest of the books out of Lucius’ hands. On its own this interaction might imply that Ed is disdainful of reading in general, but following how enamored he is with Stede’s personal library and his ability to work through it, the scene instead implies illiteracy. Here, Stede is enthusiastic about something Ed can’t share, on an outing where Ed is supposed to be teaching him, so he goes hard on how “raiding works” and makes it clear that books—these useless objects to him—aren’t worth picking up. Drop them and go shove a knife near a guy’s eyeball instead.

4. Ed Signs the Treaty With an ‘X’

I don’t actually have that much to say about this scene (in regards to literacy, anyway), simply because the ‘X’ alone is the big takeaway. I’m sure by now we’ve all seen the tweet claiming that an ‘X’ was used by indigenous people as a form of protest against colonizers and the historical accuracy of that aside (it’s not a discipline I’m at all educated in, but others have pushed back against both OP’s interpretation of the book’s thesis as well as whether this intersects with Māori culture), that’s simply not the most obvious implication here. We know based on interviews that the writers have unintentionally included racial coding in other parts of the show—making the men of color work during Izzy’s brief stint as captain being one of the most well known. That wasn’t meant to be an indicator of racism, just a combination of Nairn having a bad back and dumb luck regarding who was staged to do the work—so this wouldn’t be the first time that fans have come to a very different conclusion than the writers intended. Ultimately, I think it’s FAR more likely that an American writer used a well-known means of conveying illiteracy, as seen throughout American popular culture, in a show that is not at all concerned with historical accuracy... than it is that he included a very subtle, historical allusion to indigenous protest and attached that to a character whose ability to know about that and culturally benefit from it are questionable at best. Though, as said at the start, headcanoning is fantastic and adds a wonderful depth to Ed’s character, from a canonical standpoint this feels like an Occam’s Razor situation to me: the simplest explanation is the most likely.

5. The Show Doesn’t Shy Away From Establishing Who Can and Can’t Read

This is a minor point, but it helps solidify all of the above. We’re told that Stede can read. We’re told that Lucius can read. Again, those are important skills used to separate them from the rest of pirate culture. We learn in a surprise twist that Jim can also read, write, and they’re not actually mute. The show then heavily implies that Izzy can read by a) giving him a voice-over similar to Jim’s (even though we never see what he might be writing in) and b) having him spend time in Stede’s library before the fuckery and then again, this time actually looking through the books (compared to Ed’s disorganized flipping/discarding) and finding an image of Blackbeard all by himself (compared to Stede doing that for Ed). Sure, we could theorize that Izzy just happened to stumble across a book about Blackbeard, maybe because Stede has so many in his collection, and he’s only looking at pictures/pretending to read in the shots where he has a book in hand.. but again, the simplest explanation feels the most persuasive to me. The point being that the show usually makes it very clear who can read and who cannot, with those in the gray area nevertheless leaning hard in one direction. Izzy leans hard into ‘literary.’ Ed does not.

Finally, I want to quickly address a couple of arguments I’ve seen pop up over the last couple of months:

1. The Real Blackbeard was Able to Read (+ You Have to Read to Sail a Ship)

Any and all takes along these lines are immediately suspect in my mind because they’re rooted in historical accuracy... and ignore the fact that OFMD is not historically accurate. At all. The real life Blackbeard did not fall in love with Stede Bonnet. The ship runs on gay sex and story time, not legitimate sailing techniques. Any argument that begins with “But the real Blackbeard...” or “But in real life you have to...” falls flat because this is very much not the real Blackbeard and the plot is in no way bound by realism. I mean, I’m not trying to be a buzzkill. I think it’s fun to play thought games like “What if Ed and Izzy run their ship aground like they did in real life and that becomes a callback to the second episode?” but there’s a difference between fun theorizing about what random events the show might include for the laughs and trying to use historical accuracy as a form of evidence in metas. I mean, Buttons is out here communicating with seagulls and casting hexes so that Calico Jack (presumably) dies via cannonball. When your story is that untethered from reality, any claims based in realism hold little value imo. Ed being able to read because the real Edward Teach could read is no more likely than Ed dying a horrific death at... [checks Wikipedia] hmm. A year after the events of the show start. Should be happening any episode now! 

2. Ed is Able to Read Music

Honestly, as someone with a 2,000 book library and no ability to read music, I’m not sure how one relates to the other, but a couple times now I’ve seen people claim that because Ed plays the harpsichord at the party, he must know how to read. Putting aside the strange conflation though, Ed isn’t reading any music here. He plays solely from memory and, given what else we see of his talents, I wouldn’t be surprised if Ed had simply memorized a few shanties over the years. He’s already learned the shape of the clouds. He dutifully repeats Stede’s words after he’s corrected on the scarf’s fabric—“An exquisite cashmere.” Though he hasn’t got it all down yet, Ed is also well on his way to learning all the insane spoons and forks involved in fine dining. The guy’s got a good head for recalling information, which to me is an entirely separate skill from the specific ability to interpret words on a page.

3. Ed Read the Placards During Dinner

Does he though? The scene begins when Ed is already seated at the table and though he does look towards the placard that says he’s Godfrey’s guest, I interpret that more for the audience’s benefit than anything else. After all, Ed is already sitting down. He knows where he’s supposed to be. Why would he need to re-read his own placard? Despite the glance in that direction, it looks like an establishing shot to set the scene. So then how did Ed know where to sit? Idk, any way someone knows where to sit without looking at their placard. Maybe one of the servants showed him. Maybe another party-goer shooed him into his designated seat. Ed acts lost and confused the whole time, looking in random directions and muttering about snail forks. He doesn’t act like someone who chose this spot confidently, nor does he act like someone who can use reading as a skill to assist him in his anxiety. That is, he doesn’t look for and find Stede’s placard to ensure they’re seated together and he doesn’t realize he’s next to the touchy woman until it’s too late.

4. Finally: How Could Ed Have Drawn an ‘X’ If He Doesn’t Know How to Read?

Because an ‘X’ is just two crossed lines that might not have any meaning to him beyond, ‘This is what illiterate people do to sign their name.’ There’s a huge gap between understanding the ‘X’ as a symbol for this particular situation and knowing how to apply it—along with 25 other letters—to read a language. I can draw the Superman ‘S’ (not an ‘S’!), but that doesn’t mean I can read Kryptonian. I can also recite the Spanish alphabet from middle school, but that doesn’t mean I remember how to apply it after years without practice. Humans are really good at tying signified concepts to signs and an ‘X’ isn’t exactly the most difficult sign to memorize. Of course, it’s also possible that Ed knows his letters, but not how to read Stede’s books. Illiteracy isn’t a black and white state of being: Ed may understand the ‘X’ only as a symbol of agreement, or as a letter, or as a part of a couple words. I feel like the fandom is approaching this as an either/or situation—you can read or you can’t—rather than a very complicated skill that takes years to master, with everyone continuing to learn as time goes on. You think I remember every grammatical rule in the English language? Or that I know the meaning of every word I come across? Or even how to pronounce them? You think I can switch to a culture I’m not a part of—an online space, an academic discipline, a friends’ text exchange—and read through it without stumbling on words, acronyms, and concepts I’ve never encountered? Just as there’s a huge range within my literacy, there’s the possibility for an equally huge range within Ed’s illiteracy too. Maybe he can’t read at all. Maybe he can recognize Godfrey’s name after seeing it on the invitation card. Maybe he can only write his name, but chose not to. Maybe he can do all that, but can’t manage the dense text of Stede’s books. Maybe he can read a bit, but can’t manage the fancy script of the gentry. Maybe the vocabulary is an obstacle. Maybe he learned a long time ago and, like my Spanish, has since lost it. There are a lot of options here that would fall under the large umbrella of 'Ed is illiterate.’

All of which is just to say: those of us working with an illiterate Ed in metas, fanfics, and the like didn’t pull that idea out of thin air and we definitely didn’t hit on it because Ed isn’t white. It’s a reading that the show is very much pointing towards and even if it’s proven wrong in season two, that doesn’t erase the strong implications we got at the start.Yes, there’s a lot wrong with fandom—I’d never deny it—but that’s not going to improve if people put their energy towards pushing inaccurate, but very satisfying claims. It’s a lot easier (and makes people feel good about themselves) to make blanket claims about how Ed Not Being White + Illiterate Interpretations = Racism... but that ease and feelings of superiority don’t make it true. Like the discourse over using any shortened version of Oluwande’s name, or the desire to saddle the antagonist (Izzy) and any fans who like him with accusations of racism, the fandom is looking for easy, black and white rules to avoid being #Problematic. But OFMD is too complicated for that—fandom is too complicated for that—and even if it wasn’t, making up nefarious motivations for character interpretations doesn’t achieve a damn thing.