#looking through my old writing like maybe i should post this on the tumblr i created... to talk about/post my writing

[daddyplasmius]

okay, so, I've collected a bunch of DP fandom stuff that I remember off the top of my head, specifically in chronological order & colour coded here in this post (fics/comics, tumblr posts, important imo) for no reason other than I saw a post asking for Phandom history & it triggered my biggest, most long-running hyperfixation & now I'm curious if anyone else remembers stuff.

this link is going to be the permanent version I will be updating, but I'm posting what I currently have (gonna go through my old laptop later for more) just to let people know. you can also find the link on my blog, but only on desktop. It isn't colour coded there, sorry.

please share more if you got anything else cuz I'm 100% sure I'm missing a lot of stuff & am too interested now. the biggest reason a lot of stuff isn't here is that I simply can't find it. second biggest reason is i forgor. things not included here aren't "unimportant," this is just the first stuff that comes to mind.

putting it under a cut 'cause it got kinda long

Mars by JadeRabbyt (2005)

Checkmate by pearl84 (2006)

Conversations of a Ghost Gabber by Cordria (2006)

The Foley Maneuver by bluemoonalto (2007)

One Thousand Years by Nylah (2008)

Lab Rat by AnneriaWings (2009)

Lost by Cordria (2010?) [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Phantom of Truth by Haiju (2011)

Ghost Deaths (2012)

Through Coals and Rain by Kakawot (2012)

Shadow of a Doubt by Haiju (2013)

Pink Pants (2013?)

Wes (2014) [original] [1] [2] [3] [4]

this "I'm Inevitable" gif (2014)

Space AU (2014)

Treading Water by The Full Catastrophe (2014)

Danny, you dead IDIOT!! comic (2014)

wash away the darkest days by anthrop (2014)

Reverse Trio (2014)

Inverse Trio (2014-2016) ALT

Halfas are "feral children" (2015)

Burn the Streets, Burn the Cars by anthrop (2015)

It's Not Gay if He's Dead by phantomrose96 (2015)

You Smell Like Death by starfleetrambo (2015)

Ghost Bird AU by @rest-in-peachs (2016?)

Things I Can(not) Do In Amity Park by RedHeadsRock1010 (2016)

KEtTLE by Cordria (2016)

Deeper, Darker by Silvermoonphantom (2016)

Danny Phantom Punches Butch Hartman In The Face by MistressVintage (2017)

Dannypocalypse (2017)

Ghost Train (2017?)

Ghost Physics by jayrockin (2017)

Ghost Infographics (2018)

The Taxonomy of Ghost Cores: An Observational Study (2018) Communicating with Ghosts Professionally: A Study (2018)

Species in Danny Phantom (2018?)

Diddles Piddles by diddly-darn-ghost (2018)

Broken Ectoplasm by ghostanimal (2019)

Ghost of Heroes by Enigmaris & ScarletNightFury (2019-2020)

do not stand at my grave and cry (i am not there, i did not die) by blueh (2020)

Undercover Phantom by artistfingers (2021)

Corruption is a Two Way Street by datawyrms (2021)

Things That Bleed by artistfingers, kkachis, & Perfectly_Inconspicuous (2022)

10,000 works on AO3 (2022)

Ghost Speak:

Danny's handwriting (2015?)

Cordria (2015)

Fiver-Rivers [1] [2] [3] (2019)

Rubber Chicken Sounds (2019)

[the-sea-anemone]

The Eternal Recurrence of the Same

He lives and dies and wakes on the forest floor. (This story is also on Ao3)

The very first time, when he is truly thirteen, he wakes to starlight and an ache in his muscles. He’d been avoiding a confrontation — something with one of the teachers, maybe; it’s so long ago now he can’t remember. That’s why he’s here, pine needles digging into his skin, sprained wrist cradled to his chest. It hasn’t been bound; maybe he fell or maybe it happened in training and he stomped off in a huff before he could get it fixed.

He used to go back to camp, those first few times. He’d seen them all die, those people who weren’t his friends back then, but sometimes they were, if he played his cards right. A careful dance, that, building himself up to something better than he was, slow enough to keep anyone from growing suspicious. It’s too late for that now: he hasn’t been thirteen in a long, long time, hundreds of years, maybe, if you added it all together. He scrubs away tears — the teenage hormones hit him hard when he lives far enough into adulthood; nowadays he’s learned to ride it out.

In two hours, the sun will climb over the trees. The first time, he'd pried himself off the forest floor long before that, stumbled back to camp with skinned knees. The first time, he was lost nearly ’til dawn, so he’d just come into the clearing when it all got blown to hell. The first time, he cried as he bled out, hands clenched useless in the grass, gasping, face itchy with tears. He’d wanted his mother, who was... he doesn’t know what she was, anymore. That time with Emma, at the beginning, when they were still friends, he’d spoken bitter words of her.

If he stays there much longer, they’ll all be dead. It’s a long walk in the dark, and this last time he’s lived long enough to forget all the early parts that used to be muscle memory: wake up, walk, twenty neat headshots, hide the bodies. The first time, he’d thrown up, and the second, and the third. It was sheer blind luck he wasn’t caught until the fifth time, but it’s the first time he kills himself, one night in the prison where he’s supposed to spend the rest of his life.

People had come to see him, he can’t remember who anymore— his mother, or his father? One of the teachers, the sullen one, who he’d seen die half a hundred times. He’d live to be seventy, in the rare case nothing else killed either of them first. Why? They’d all asked it of him, those shadowy figures across the table. It’s a mash-up of all the prisons he’s seen since, on the rare occasions he thinks back on it. Sometimes he thinks there’s no life at all before that first night in the woods.

This time, he goes to the camp. Half the kids he couldn’t name if you put a gun to his head, for all the good it would do, but some he’s fought and died by their sides. He whips around at the sound of footsteps, drops into a defensive crouch. It’s a fragile thing, this thirteen-year-old body, all the techniques in his head useless without the strength or muscle memory to back it up. He straightens, smoothes down his clothes. The sprained wrist twinges— this body doesn’t have much pain tolerance, either.

“Where were you?”

It’s the teacher, the sullen one. He looks young, and light, without the weight of a dead husband on him. Correcting that death is more effort than reward, for all the times he tried, and he’s not sure when he started to weigh it like that, lives planned out on the spreadsheet he carries in his mind. Emma is on there, and their children— they’d married only once, grown old together as the war waged on in the background. There’d been grandchildren, great-grandchildren, nearly, but he’d died before then, quiet in his bed. And woken beneath the stars, the child’s aches nothing compared to the old man’s.

“Forest, sir. All quiet,” he says.

He’d been a soldier a dozen years this last time, and most of his lifetimes before that. Suspicious thing to say, that. It’s early in the game; he might as well start again. The pistol’s still heavy in his pocket. He spins it on his finger and shoots himself in the head.

[lilacstro]

Astrological timeline of your life: Your whole life through astrology

paid readings open

support me on ko-fi :)

This post maybe boring for most people, but this is likely to help you understand, why do we have such similar things going on for us around similar ages. Why we feel lost in our 20s, and why do we feel happier in our 30s. While I discuss the natal transits going through different ages, I would recommend personalizing by seeing the sign and placement of each of the ages. Below is a chart I made for a quick look into this timeline, while I would elaborate further :)

Please note I can go into a lot of depth and details for each of these natal transits, however, it would be utterly long and writing it in a single post would be overwhelming for my fingers and you, both :D

This was a pretty long typing, and I hope this is informative :)

credits: @lilacstro on tumblr

Childhood Years

Ages 7-8: One of the first significant astrological events in your life occurs around the age of 7 or 8, when you experience what's known as the opening Saturn square. This event takes place when Saturn forms a 90° angle from its position at your birth, marking a crucial moment of growth and self-realization. Saturn, a planet associated with boundaries and reality, brings about a lesson or challenge that requires integration. Around this age, you begin to see yourself as an individual, distinct from your parents and guardians, which can be both daunting and necessary for personal development. You might find yourself facing fears like shyness or a longing for parental presence, but overcoming these feelings is key to maturing.

It's worth noting that this opening Saturn square is not a one-time event. It recurs around the ages of 36 or 37, 66 or 67, and 96 or 97, each time serving as a reminder to push past new limits and grow stronger in the process. These moments also offer insights into the unique qualities of your natal Saturn placement, helping you understand where you should focus your efforts and energy.

Age 9: At around 9 years old, you encounter another pivotal astrological moment called the nodal opposition. This event occurs when the Moon’s nodes move to the opposite positions from where they were at your birth, symbolizing a midpoint in your journey of pursuing and letting go of certain goals. During this time, your priorities begin to shift subtly. You might start forming more complex relationships outside of your immediate family, seeking new connections and experiences. It’s also a period where you might become more conscious of your appearance and begin to care more about how others perceive you.

Nodal oppositions happen every nine years, so you’ll encounter this process again around ages 27, 45, 63, 81, and 99. Each time, you’ll reach a significant turning point in your life, reevaluating what you desire and what you’re ready to release, leading to deeper self-understanding.

Teen and Twenties

Age 12: Every 12 years, most girls experience puberty and everyone is about to enter teenage, here you experience your Jupiter return, a time when the planet of growth and wisdom returns to its original position in your birth chart. This is a period marked by a sense of protection and fearlessness. It’s when you might take bold risks, feeling almost invincible. Jupiter returns often coincide with physical growth spurts and the onset of puberty, marking a transition into new phases of life. You are literally expanding and you believe anything is possible!

These Jupiter returns occur again around ages 24, 36, 48, 60, 72, 84, and 96, each time bringing a renewed sense of confidence and an opportunity for expansion in various aspects of your life. Each return also deepens your understanding of your natal Jupiter placement, allowing you to recognize the joy, wisdom, and abundance you're meant to embrace and share.

Age 14: Around age 14, you go through a Saturn opposition, where Saturn is 180° from its natal position. This period is often associated with the full onset of puberty and the emotional and mental challenges that come with it. Saturn can stir up feelings of insecurity, making this a time when you might struggle with self-esteem, anxiety, or the pressures of school. However, it’s also a time when you start to think more deeply and understand the consequences of your actions, helping you prepare for adulthood.

Saturn oppositions happen again around ages 44 and 74, bringing new opportunities to reflect on and learn from the choices you've made. These periods challenge you to grow, ultimately building your resilience for the future.

Ages 18-19: As you approach adulthood, another significant astrological event occurs: the nodal return, when the lunar nodes return to their starting positions in your birth chart. This happens around ages 18 and 19 and symbolizes a moment of alignment with your life’s mission. It’s a time when many people leave home, start college, or begin their careers, marking the transition into new chapters of independence. The North Node return brings new desires and goals, while the South Node return encourages letting go of what no longer serves you.

Nodal returns happen again around ages 36, 54, 72, and 90, each time encouraging you to reassess your values and focus on what truly matters in your life.

Ages 21-22: As you reach your early twenties, you experience a closing Saturn square, the final challenge before Saturn completes its 30-year journey around the zodiac. This period often coincides with significant life transitions, such as finishing college and entering the workforce, or reevaluating your career path if you didn’t attend college. This is a time when you face new challenges that test your determination and resilience, but overcoming them helps you grow stronger and more capable.

You’ll encounter closing Saturn squares again around ages 49-50 and 79-80, each time presenting opportunities to refine your boundaries, commitments, and passions in preparation for your next Saturn return.

Around the same age, you also experience your opening Uranus square, a time of liberation and self-expression. Uranus is associated with breaking free from societal norms, and this period encourages you to embrace your unique interests and passions, even if they were previously hidden. This is a time to explore your individuality and enjoy the freedom that comes with it.

Age 24: At 24, you enter your second Jupiter return, a time of renewed confidence and exploration. This period is marked by a sense of independence and optimism about the future, even if you still have some insecurities. It’s a time to embrace new opportunities and continue growing as an individual. This is why maybe I often see people wanting to a buy home by 24-25 or even get married by time, and this is often done without realizing, since Jupiter here is seeking abundance is every form.

Ages 28-30: The famous Saturn return occurs between ages 28 and 30, a period when Saturn returns to its natal position in your birth chart. This is often seen as a time of maturity and taking on new responsibilities. Whether it's starting a family, advancing in your career, or planning for the future, this period is about embracing adulthood and the challenges that come with it. The lessons learned during your Saturn return lay the foundation for the next stages of your life. This is why 30s are significantly easier for most people.

Your second Saturn return occurs around ages 58-60, and a third may happen around ages 88-90. Each Saturn return builds upon the last, helping you grow stronger and more confident in your path.

Thirties

Ages 36-37: After the significant milestone of your Saturn return, your next major astrological event is the nodal return, which happens around age 36. This period is similar to the nodal return you experienced at 18, but now you’re likely to be more focused on your career, family, and long-term goals. Relationships become important this time, especially public relationships. It’s a time to clarify your ambitions and make adjustments to align with your true desires. Many people make significant life decisions during this period, such as starting a family or changing careers. As we reach our late 30s, the farthest planets in the solar system — Neptune and Pluto — start arriving at the key stations in their orbits, beginning the so-called “midlife” transits. There’s a big range here because Pluto’s transit through the signs is so variable

At the same time, you’ll experience your second opening Saturn square, which tests the lessons you learned during your first Saturn return. If you haven’t made the necessary adjustments in your life, this square will push you to do so, helping you stay on the right path.

Ages 36-42: As you enter your late thirties and early forties, you’ll encounter some of the most profound astrological transits of your life. The first is the Pluto square, which occurs between the ages of 36 and 42. This period is marked by transformation and regeneration, as Pluto brings deep psychological challenges and the opportunity for rebirth. It’s a time to confront your fears and embrace your inner power, often through introspective practices like therapy or meditation.

The second major transit during this time is the Neptune square, which happens around age 39 or 40. Neptune’s influence can make this a confusing and uncertain period, where you might question your life choices and feel drawn to explore new paths. This is a time to reconnect with your dreams and passions, even if it means letting go of old identities or roles. The key is to stay open to possibilities and not force clear answers.

Forties

Age 42: All the introspection and questioning that occurs during your Neptune square leads to the Uranus opposition around age 42, often associated with the classic "midlife crisis." Uranus is the planet of change and rebellion, and this opposition encourages you to break free from any constraints that have been holding you back. Whether it’s a career change, a move, or a new lifestyle, this is a time to embrace your authenticity and pursue what truly makes you happy.

Age 44: Shortly after the Uranus opposition, you’ll experience your next Saturn opposition around age 44. This period is a test of the lessons you learned during your first Saturn return, particularly in terms of your professional and personal life. It’s a time to take stock of your health, relationships, and responsibilities, making necessary adjustments to ensure you’re on the right path.

Ages 49-50: As you approach 50, you’ll go through your Chiron return, a period of healing and wisdom. Chiron, known as the "wounded healer," represents the areas of life where you’ve experienced pain but also where you’ve gained the most insight. During this time, you’ll reflect on the challenges you’ve faced and the wisdom you’ve gained, possibly stepping into a mentorship role to share your knowledge with others. Our natal Chiron placement can reveal the area of life where we feel tender, but also where we unlock the greatest healing and wisdom. All of these themes are emphasized during your Chiron return. 

Fifties

Ages 50-51: In your early fifties, you’ll encounter a Saturn square, the final test before your second Saturn return at the end of the decade. This period is often associated with major life transitions, such as menopause, which bring their own challenges and opportunities for growth. It’s a time to reassess your responsibilities and make tough choices that will support your future.

Age 54: Around age 54, you’ll experience another nodal return, similar to the ones you had at 18 and 36. This period is a chance to realign with your life’s purpose and make adjustments to ensure you’re pursuing what truly matters to you. Many people use this time to focus on legacy-building, whether through their career, family, or community involvement.

Ages 57-59: In the late fifties, you’ll encounter another Pluto square, bringing transformation and regeneration similar to what you experienced in your late thirties. This is a time to confront any unresolved issues and make deep, lasting changes in your life. It’s also a period where you might face physical challenges, prompting you to take better care of your health.

Sixties and Beyond

Ages 58-60: Your second Saturn return occurs between ages 58 and 60, marking another major transition period in your life. Just as your first Saturn return helped you step into adulthood, your second return encourages you to embrace the wisdom and experience you’ve gained over the years. It’s a time to focus on what truly matters, letting go of what no longer serves you. Many people use this period to retire or shift their focus to more personal and fulfilling pursuits.

Age 63: Shortly after your Saturn return, you’ll experience another nodal opposition around age 63, prompting you to reassess your goals and priorities once again. This is often a time when people reflect on their legacy and what they want to leave behind, making adjustments to ensure they’re living in alignment with their values.

Ages 66-67: Your late sixties bring another Saturn square, similar to the one you experienced in your early thirties. This period tests the lessons you’ve learned during your second Saturn return and encourages you to make any final adjustments before entering the later stages of life. It’s also a time to focus on your health and well-being, ensuring you’re taking care of yourself for the years to come.

Age 72: Your early seventies bring another nodal return, encouraging you to reflect on your life’s journey and make any final adjustments to ensure you’re living in alignment with your true purpose. This is often a time of spiritual growth and wisdom, where you might focus more on your inner world and less on external achievements.

Age 74: Shortly after the nodal return, you’ll experience your third Saturn opposition, similar to the ones you had in your forties and twenties. This period is a final test of the lessons you’ve learned throughout your life, encouraging you to focus on your health, relationships, and responsibilities.

Ages 79-80: As you approach 80, you’ll encounter another Saturn square, the final one before your third Saturn return in your late eighties. This period is a time of reflection and preparation, as you make any necessary adjustments to ensure you’re living in alignment with your values and goals.

Ages 81-84: Your early eighties bring another nodal opposition and nodal return, similar to the ones you experienced earlier in life. These periods encourage you to reflect on your journey and make any final adjustments to ensure you’re living in alignment with your true purpose.

Ages 88-90: Your third Saturn return occurs between ages 88 and 90, marking the final major transition of your life. This period is often associated with a sense of completion and fulfillment, as you reflect on the wisdom and experience you’ve gained over the years. It’s a time to focus on your inner world and spiritual growth, embracing the lessons you’ve learned and the legacy you’ve created.

Ages 96-97: Finally, around age 96 or 97, you’ll experience another opening Saturn square, bringing your life’s journey full circle. This period is a time of reflection and completion, as you prepare to transition into the next stage of existence. It’s a time to let go of any remaining attachments and embrace the wisdom and peace that comes with a life well-lived.

[lexirosewrites]

This is for Slick Sunday!!!

So. I was watching this voice over of some random Tumblr post about how Vampires are to carpenters what furries are for artists(allegedly), bc they can make the ideal coffin for each individual and things like that, and like??? I got inspired. So this is what I have:

Totally established ABO situation, where Steve is an unusual Omega, simply for the fact that after his family disowned him he became a carpenter and if being a jock had given him some muscles, being a carpenter made him ripped.

But no one wants an Omega like that, no matter how sweet he is whether in scent or personality, it also doesn't help that Steve has a shit taste in Alphas.

Anyways, enter Eddie, a Vampire (whether he has a designation and/or what it is up in the air (although I prefer him as an Alpha)) who's looking for a new coffin for his Uncle Wayne, an incredibly old vampire (probably a beta) who met him when he was young and adopted Eddie before turning him at the age of 25 (Eddie was dying, and there wasn't a cure for him yet, but that was Wayne's kid, he couldn't let him die so young), because his Uncle's coffin is like, old, Eddie asked and the thing is a certified antique, it's at least a 100 years old and almost falling apart no matter how much care Wayne puts into it.

So Eddie finds out about this carpenter, the guy has never worked for vampires before, but Robin (a local witch and another Omega) recommended him so strongly Eddie agreed to check him out.

Eddie gets immediately infatuated with Steve, the guy is handsome, with a sweet personality, and a body Eddie just wants to sink his teeth into...

So they get talking about the request, and it ends up being a long collaboration, since Eddie didn't actually go prepared for the appointment, so he keeps visiting Steve to make adjustments to the coffin's design and stuff like that.

And if he also uses that time to get to know Steve better and maybe flirt a little? It's nobody's business.

(and maybe Steve also answers sometimes, with

So anyways, Steve finishes the task and is sad he won't see Eddie again, won't get to bask into his amazingly comforting scent again, thinking that the guy probably will leave him behind like so many other commissioners before him who came by, sweet talked him, that even got him into bed one time, and then left once their product was finished, only to never return.

So When Eddie comes to pick up the finished coffin he finds an incredibly sad Omega , and of course he immediately asks what's wrong, does Steve feel bad, should he call Robin? But Steve is so overwhelmed by this simple show of care that he confesses on the spot.

And Eddie is obviously overjoyed by this, corresponding to Steve in that exact moment, zero doubts in his mind that he'll be with Steve for as long as Steve wants him.

Plus: Steve finds out a week into dating that Eddie is a vampire and is very offended that his boyfriend (soon to be mate) tried to hide something so important from him, meanwhile Eddie is like "Babe. Baby. Sweetheart. I literally asked for a bed coffin, I told you my uncle was more than a hundred years old, I once got into your workshop fully bloodstained, fangs out, because I was running late and my last feeding was rough"

"I thought that was paint from those minis you told me you were working on!"

And then they recreate the twilight meme for the funsies.

(and maybe a long time from now they'll be mates, and Steve will turn into a vampire after being Eddie's part-time bloodbag for years, and they'll have a coven full of kids, some theirs, some adopted, but all of them wholly loved and cherished)

And that's all I have in me rn, I really hope you enjoy Lexi, happy day!

(also, fun fact, halfway through writing this I got so distracted by the romance that I forgot about the ABO part of things, and then I tried to revise it, but I'm not sure I did a good job, this could probably be way more abo than it is, lmaoo)

hehe monsterfucker steve is very dear to me, especially when he’s an omega and willing to submit to an alpha as their prey in more way than one💕

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

post-s2. good omens mascot here, coping unhealthily.

This is the first proper post I'm writing since the audio breakdown, good thing I queued a POTC one last week, I suppose. Yes I slept through the entire day today, missed the theatre workshop I was supposed to attend and may or may not be listening to A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square on loop. Have an update on my coping because my social life and family are both Tumblr now:

Every song is about them now. A lot were before, but now every single one. Even an old Hindi song from a 1900s Indian military movie that I have not watched, by the way. But the lyrics (thank you Google translate) are: Everybody wants a handful of the sky, everybody searches for a handful of the sky, there is a world waiting to be hugged to the chest, the moon is a fair full of stars, but this heart is still lonely. And of course that makes me think of Crowley as the starmaker. Ow.

I made the very intelligent decision to rewatch the first three episodes of season 2, knowing what the Job minisode and the Edinburgh minisode do to me. I'll be here clutching Crowley, well, hugging him close to the chest, just like that song... ah, fuck, here we go again.

I listened to you all and am drinking a lot of water, since my tear ducts were emptied yesterday and now I'm unable to cry. I also ate too much chocolate.

I searched for sad Aziracrow edits and watched them. Don't look at me. I'm in a hell of my own creation.

I used too many emotions last night and now I feel hollow and achy. Maybe I should cope with humour and write the summaries.

Or maybe that will backfire and I will be filled with horrifying levels of emotion.

I slept. A lot. Many hours. Lots sleep.

So. Well. You know. Adopted child of divorce. You were all right, this is exactly like dealing with a breakup or divorce, but much more painful.

Someone please, please, please stop me from clicking the Crowley whump tag to find fanfiction.

I remember my initial Good Omens posts. I remember calling the fandom sad, desperate, queer and masochistic, and also pointing out how you all blame Neil and then sit and make headcanons that are a hundred times worse than canon.

I was so right. Look at me now, sad, desperate, queer and masochistic, making headcanons that are a hundred times worse than canon.

Wahoo.

[pandalexoxo]

OKAY BEAR WITH ME Y’ALL. I HAVEN’T PLAYED THE GAME SO I’M JUST GOING OFF OF SOME TIRED OLD MAN TROPES.

FRANCIS MOSES x READER

also, i haven’t written down any of my rules, but i don’t have any limits! i’ll write whatever requests people send me! whatever your dark mind can think of will be my pleasure to create!

i don’t mind if you’re not 18+, since, if i ever do make smut i’ll just label it as 18+ and TRUST that 18+ ONLY will read. you all have probably seen, but i’ve just written about my thoughts of different fandoms so far so there’s no 18+ posts YET. (maybe i’ll make this account SFW and do another for NSFW? idk, i normally post on other platforms but randomly decided to give tumblr a try lol)

as a NM/trans man myself, i TRY to keep my readers gender neutral by not really describing the characters features. hard on TRY bc i know the last blurb fic i made of dead plate was Rody x Male Reader lol, oopsies! anywhooo, enjoy~!

WARNINGS! doppleganger mention, possible unconsciousness, possible death, possible unfunny dialogue (bc sometimes i’m the only one who finds me hilarious lmfao), you’re kinda a baddie ngl, you and Francis are besties, Francis is a cat lover?! Francis is a tired old man who hates technology. phone mentioned despite the first wireless phone being made 23 years after the story takes place (use your imagination) uhhh, anything else i forget? comment below!

Francis let out a long sigh of relief, taking his cap off with one hand, using the other to dab away at his sweaty forehead with a handkerchief. Upon seeing the exhausted man, you can’t help but smile softly, shaking your head as you get ready to scold him, once again. You cross your arms, looking at him through the window with a playful disappointed glare.

“mhm mhm, what do we have here? you really should be getting more sleep, mr. milkman, your eyes are starting to sport their own eye bags.”

with this comment, Francis shakes his head but is unable to stop the small, yet tired smile on his face. he bends down to place the crate of milk jugs onto the floor before handing over his ID card. you hum, narrowing your eyes when Francis doesn’t give into your whims. you eye his card, glancing at it a few times before slipping it back to him with a chuckle.

Francis’s eyebrow raises in confusion at your reaction but ends up shaking his head, rolling his eyes playfully and sighing softly. he places his cap back on his head and huffs, deeming your reaction as a go ahead inside.

“now… what if i was a doppelganger? you aren’t even going to call my room to check if someone is there? such a reliable doorman we have.”

despite Francis’s playful tone, your grin slips into a frown as you study Francis from behind the glass. this causes him to tense up, suddenly feeling nervous, like he did something wrong. you hum, tilting your head into your palm as you seemingly analyze Francis for a little while before deciding to speak.

“what’s up brother?”

Francis blinks a few times in surprise, his head tilting in confusion at your question. His eyes narrow as he thinks about the question you asked.

“what’s… up… brother…?”

Francis looks up at the ceiling, taking your question to heart. upon seeing nothing on the ceiling, Francis can only shake his head and sigh at your antics.

“are you done with your tomfoolery, (Y/n)? i’m quite exhausted and would like to go up to my room and rest.”

you can only shake your head, clasping your hands together like a disappointed father getting ready to discuss their kids grades at the dinner table. you begin to explain.

“when Francis first walks in here, he always forgets one of three things… his keys, his hat or the crate of milk. you came in here, although exhausted, you seemed put together, unlike Francis, who is clearly going through a midlife crisis. Francis will then ask me about my cat, well, because he’s a cat person, though he insists no one knows. oh, and, Francis’s home phone has been broken for the past few days and is actually at the store, right now. so, Francis being here so soon, isn’t possible. that, and well, Francis never understands my references, but indulges me anyway… anything else i forgot, doppelganger?”

you bat your eyelashes, smirking from behind the window like you just cracked down the traitor in your group. with each statement, Francis’s doppelgänger’s face becomes visibly more and more angry until the doppelganger begins to completely change: black eyes with white pupils, a wide and eerie black mouth, adorned with long and sharp claws on the end of the doppleganger’s elongated limbs.

“you… you’ll regret this… i will get in one day and get my feast, starting with you. i’ll gut you, keep you alive so you can watch your organs fall out of your body and your blood splatter against-! *CLANK! BAM! PLINK!*”

before the doppelganger could finish his fantasy, much to your amusement, the doppleganger’s body tenses upon being struck before crumpling to the floor after becoming unconscious. you look up from the doppleganger’s body to see the real Francis hovering above the, possibly dead, doppelganger. you shrug, knowing that you wouldn’t have to call DDD services to take care of the mess, now you just have to clean up the body.

“mmm… tuesday… tuesday…? did i get that right?”

you hold back a chuckle at Francis’s response to your last question. you can only nod, letting Francis have the win this time. pinching the bridge of your nose and sighing, a loud laugh bubbles up from your throat as the two of you realized what Francis had hit the doppelganger with.

“ngh… i just bought this phone… damnit… his hard head must have broke it, ah, if i bring it back could i get a… refund…?”

[st-el-la-luna]

Syrupy Sweet: Nasty Baker! Soap x Reader

tumblr deleted the orgininal for whatever reason. Luckily I tracked down a reblog. Edited and added some new stuff (love tumblr for deleting my most popular post, rip my 600+ notes 😔)

NSFW 18+

Soap is forced into an early retirement. He gets a job at a small bakery. And that's where he meets you

➔ gn!afab!reader (described as having boobs & wearing a bra), creepy soap, pervy soap, obsessive soap, lust at first sight, non/dub-con cum eating, dirty thoughts, fantasizing, humping inanimate objects, coming in panta

After so many years working in the military, serving his country. Protecting the people of the world from danger. The last thing Soap expected waas tyo be discharged so suddenly and with so little warning.

Too much time working with explosives has affected his hearing. A bad knife wound, or a torn Achilles tendon. A bad break that never healed right. A couple of head injuries too many. 

"An early retirement," they'd called it. Forced retirement more like it. They won't even tell him why, just that he's, "no longer fit for active duty," and that he should be grateful that they, "got him such a nice deal. That he gets to keep his pension."

He’s bitter about it, understandably, He likes his job. He’s good at it. They can’t be serious about this! His performance hasn’t been hindered. 

Regardless of the reason, in spite of his arguments, Soap is benched, permanently. Price is apologetic, Ghost is... Distant, though that's to be expected. Gaz promises to keep in touch. And he does keep in touch, they all do. 

But it’s ot the same. Soap still feels lonely. Bored. He doesn’t know what to do with himself or all the time he suddenly has on his hands. Doesn’t know how to operate without the adrenaline rush, without something to occupy his hands and minds. He figures that, maybe, he should get a job. A civilian job. Not one of those cushy desk jocky jobs Price had offered him out of pity, Soap wants a job far removed from the military. Really reintegrate himself into normal, civvie life. 

After a bit of searching along the drizzly cobbled Glasgowian streets, Soap finds a little coffee shop and bakery nearby. A tiny, quaint little thing, run by a sweet old woman who just doesn't have the energy to keep the doors open on her own. 

The place is situated on a street corner, tucked away from the busy traffic-filled streets. A soft bell jingles when the door opens. The sign is hsand painted. The place, though clearly aged, is well looked after, loved. The wood floors and counters shine; the tables and chairs, though antique, are comfortable, well made; plants hang from the ceiling; and a couple bookshelves line a wall, a leave a book take a book community library. 

Soap applies for the position and despite his lack of experience, he gets the job. Something about him reminding the old woman of her own son. 

At first, Soap worked there with her. Learning the ins and outs of the trade. How to make meringue and bread and macrons and creme brûlé. It's not easy, not at first, but with practice and time, he gets the hang of it. 

He figures it's because of his experience with explosives and chemistry. Baking is... Kind of the same thing. 

Eventually, he's left to tend to the day-to-day affairs of the bakery. The woman still writes all the recipes and makes some of the breads. But he's the one managing the front of the house. 

It's where he meets you. 

Sweet. Kind. Polite. Breathtaking. Irresistible. Sexy. You. 

You come tumbling into the warm bakery on a day when the weather is particularly bad, even for Scotland. Strong winds, cold rains threatening to turn to hail, thunder rumbling in the distance. 

You're soaked to the bone. Hair dripping. Shoes leaving puddles in your wake as each of your steps is announced by a wet squish. Your full cheeks bitten by the cold, fingertips numb, you offer him a blinding smile. 

He's more focused on your tits though. And your bra. Visible through your thin, now see-through, shirt. Black lace. He can see how your chest rises and falls with each breath you take. He can even see a small mole, or maybe a birthmark, on the swell just above the cup of your bra. He wants to sink his teeth into you. Wants to suck that mark into his mouth, chew and lick at it, make it bigger. Make it his. Make you his.  

He's drooling a little, he realizes absently. 

"Hey," you say softly, wiping at your nose with your sleeve. Hands curled into adorable little sweater paws as you try to wipe your wet hands off on your equally wet pants. 

Soap just stares at you, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Shell shocked. He... He’s never... You’re so... He... Holy fuck. 

Eventually, he clears his throat and manages a smile, stepping a bit closer to the counter so he can hide the growing tent in his pants. He forces himself to meet your eyes, rather than stare at your chest. 

But they’re staring at me, his innermost thoughts whine, wanton and airy in his mind. So desperate for attention... for love... ready to be suckled and bit and groped and pinched... 

Johnny leans forward, elbows resting on the counter and chuckles, flashing you an easy, charming smile. "Hey... Looking for something to warm you up?" 

Please say you've already found what you're looking for. Please say you want him to warm you up. With his hands. His mouth. His cock. Please say– 

"Yeah... Do you guys do hot chocolates?" 

"It's not on the menu, but I've got my own stash in the back," he says as he looks you up and down. But how could you blame him? What with your... everything! This is your fault, honestly. Dirty, dirty, little thing, wearing a white shirt in the rain. You know what you’re doing. Something sinister and heated bubbles in his gut. A thick, molten, syrupy desire, a primal need. A sort of instinctive pull, a fish lured in by the soft glow of an angler fish. A moth to a flame. Helpless but to stare, slack jawed, and fighting back drool, as you stare up at him expectantly, He smiles, his lips spreading further as he notices your flustered state, how you shift under his stare, biting your lip as he looks you up and down. Logically, it’s a nervous reaction. But, in Soap’s quickly spiraling mind, it’s a clean indicator that you want him too. "I'll make one, special for you, darling." 

Your eyes sparkle, your smile tears the breath from his lungs. "Really? Oh my god, thank you." 

Soap grabs a mug from the shelf and twirls it around his finger. He pulls up his sleeves, bunching them around his mid biceps. He flexes, purposefully, showing off the hard-earned muscles in his arms, the scars, the prominent veins, his big, strong hands. Hands that would look so perfect around your neck. Or holding your wrists. Or deep between your shaking legs reaching deep and good, far past anything you could reach on his own. He wonders if you’re a crier. He hopes that you are. 

Soap notices the way your eyes fall to the newly exposed skin. The way your jaw drops a little. The way you close your mouth. The way you glance away before quickly looking back. The way your throat bobs when you swallow... 

Holy shit. 

He can give you something else to swallow if you'll let him. Please let him. 

He rolls his hips against the counter and lets out a stuttering breath through his nose. His lips part. His tongue feels thick and leaden in his mouth. 

A moan bubbles in his throat, he disguises it as a cough. "Can..." He swallows another noise as he shifts his stance, achingly cock pressed against the teeth of his zipper. He makes a show of dusting the counter off, acting like he's tossed something into the bin so he can adjust his pants. "Can I get you anything else?" 

Your eyes, gorgeous eyes, scan the menu and the display. "A cinnamon bun?" You ask, pointing to the delicacy through the glass case. "Please and thank you." 

"You're in luck," he says, rutting against the counter again, as quick and harsh as he can without drawing attention. A part of him thoough, a sick, twisted, part of him that quickly spreads his mind like a weed, corrupting and poisoning, wants you to notice. Wants you to catch him. To punish him. "Just made a fresh batch... I've just got to head back and ice them." 

"Oh, I'm fine with one of them from the display, you don't need to trouble yourself." 

Oh, and how sweet you are... 

You keep chewing on your bottom lip. Part of him wants to stop you, tell you that that’s his job. Wants to bite your lips until they’re raw and swollen. 

He's fucked. Well and truly fucked. 

He smiles. You’re blissfully ignorant of the darkness lurking in his eyes. "No trouble at all... It's my pleasure." 

And it is his pleasure. Very much so. 

He comes out a bit later, a little out of breath. A little red in the face. A couple buttons undone on his shirt. 

"Hot in there," he says with a smile, setting the mug and a cinnamon bun on the counter in front of you. He sets another little plate down, a doughnut. Chocolate frosting with a cream filling, the sticky white substance still pouring from the hole. 

"I uh, I didn't order that," you say with a little, awkward laugh. "The doughnut." 

"I know you didn't, sweet thing... It's a new recipe I've been trying out. Trying to get right... Mind telling me what you think? It's free of charge, promise." 

"Oh," you blink, staring up at him with those wide eyes. God, how he wants to see those eyes watering. How he wants to see those eyes tearing up as you choke on his cock. How he wants to see you cry as he fucks you. You smile. "Thank you!" 

You pay for your drink and dessert and blink up at him from under your lashes. Your smile turns shy as you chew your lip. Stop it. Stop it. You’re going to make him lose his mind. You have to know what you’re doing to him. You have to. "Keep the change." 

He smiles. "Thanks." 

You find a seat in the corner and settle in the corner with a book. Soap keeps an eye on you the whole time. Watches you as much as he can without attracting unwanted attention. 

His cock throbs in his pants when he sees you take your first bite of the cinnamon roll. When you wipe at the icing with your thumb and lick it clean. He watches with delight as you eat and drink, rolling his hips against the counter in time with the bobbing of your throat as you swallow. 

Soap watches you with rapt attention as you enjoy the desserts. His lips parted, jaw slack, drooling. He wonders if he could convince you to lick it away. He is so glad that he stopped by the office to record the security footage. He’s going to be watching this over and over and... Fuck! 

With a final grind of his aching cock against the counter, his boxers are flooded with a wet, sticky warmth. He mourns it going to waste like that. His cum belongs in you. Your tight pussy, round ass, past your full lips. 

"How was it?" He asks, breathless, when you return your dishes to the counter. He shifts his stance, hiding the wet spot in his pants. He's not embarrassed that he came in his pants just from watching how your throat moves as you swallow. At watching the way that you lave your tongue over your fingers, licking the thick glaze away with a spit-slicked tongue. 

He just doesn't want to weird you out. 

"It was amazing," you say. "I really liked the balance of the sweet with the salty... Sometimes the sugar is just... Too much." 

"I agree," Soap says, breathless. He swallows a lump in his throat. "I agree." 

You become a regular from then on. He always gets you freshly baked items, from the back. No matter how busy. 

He's not supposed to alter the recipes. But he doubts the lady will mind that he made a change. All he did was put a little love into the recipes. A little bit of himself in the sour cream glaze. 

Keep your eyes peeled for a part 1.5 involving what soap did in the back room!

Comments and reblogs help motivate!

Masterlist!

[speakofthedebbie]

you (read: i) asked so you shall recieve: radioapple fic recs august 2024 update!!

the following are the ones from the last post w/some minor changes (think: misspellings and even more osas praising) (sorry for the re-tags!!):

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 4 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic. has the same vibe as bedtime rituals, but it is NOT a sequel

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

if youre even half the radioapple fanatic i am and havent read this, literally what are you doing?? i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, with some daily compliments sprinkled along the way, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i foam at the mouth every friday

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. lilith is particularly an asshole even tho we havent seen her yet (or maybe we have. idr, mightve chatted with al) also emily is there (fallen) and has a lil smth to do with als and liliths deal. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6-7 (rosies words) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s(30s?) au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and mimzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent off for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

new recs below!! ↓↓

Alastor and Lucifer do whatever the Hell this is (series) by Vagabond_Sloth (personally asked, no Tumblr, but they might make one 👀)

i know this is radioapple fic rec post but... *cough* Husk and Angel do a Romance for some soft huskerdust *cough* anyway- basically, a perplexing flower arrangement leads to a blossoming something between the resident radio demon and king of hell. seriously, its some good shit, and the author is really nice!

A Compliment A Day by @decembercamiecherries

spinning this around in my head at all times

basically, a classic "charlie makes al and luci compliment each other as a bonding excessive" but it does not disappoint (check out her other three radioapple fics too)

a lovely night (lalaland is that you??) and pancakes, small talk by @mirotic_chess (X Twitter account)

in a lovely night they do a lil dancey dancey and in pancakes, small talk luci makes some pancakes!!

Sin and Sentiment and Time On My Hands by demon_fawn (supposed Tumblr leads to a dead end)

oh my god future debs here and i am so fucking tired of doing these descriptions but. um. the plot for sin and sentiment def seems very interesting and time on my hands is an incomplete (but good!) attempt at radioapple week. hmm not sure if they still post bc the most recent update was july 12th

honestly just every radioapple fic by @otoshigo (i think ive read all but Forbidden Fruit of the Poisonous Tree)

if you look underneath the little island that is radioapple, on god otoshigo is one of the creators holding it up. all 19 (yes, 19. we eatin good tonight [excluding forbidden fruit]) of their radioapple fics are fantastic, buuut if i had to recommend anything specific: A Guide to the Care and Maintenance of the King of Hell (fuck count furfur!) and The Devil's Trip to the Big Apple

not to continue the trend, but basically anything by @thief-of-eggs (even the singular huskerdust) but personal recommendations: Trust and Hair Pets and Let Me Be Your Shelter (sickfics 🔛🔝)

idk if youll catch me doing the descriptions for these anymore shit was exhausting

tagging time!!!! (i want to end it all)

[marvelouslizzie]

unconventional methods - chapter 2

Summary: Bucky Barnes struggles with his feelings towards Bunny, leading him to make a big mistake. Now he must make it right. It means doing something he is uncomfortable with.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader (SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes x Adult Content Creator Reader)

Word Count: 6.7K

Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, texting, overthinking, self-doubt, misunderstandings, pet names, video call, mutual masturbation, slight dirty talk if you squint, metal arm use, use of a dildo, teasing, small dose of sub/dom dynamic, no mention of y/n.

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who showed interest in the first chapter. I really didn't expect this story to get the attention it did. Means a lot to me. If you didn't read the first chapter, you definitely should before reading this one.

unconventional methods - chapter 1

marvelous lizzie's masterlist

This story will end with chapter three, which will most likely come out the following Sunday (12th March)

Once again >> indicates incoming messages and <<; indicates outgoing messages.

Once again a big thank you to @notafunkiller and @es1dit for everything. Extra thanks to @notafunkiller for the beta-read and for helping me to improve the story. You two are the best!

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

Every like, comment and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message me or send me a question or comment regarding the stories I write. I would love to talk about it and no, it would never bother me as long as it’s not a hate comment. They are never welcome.

Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.

Gifs belong to @fysebastianstan I wanted to add them through Tumblr gifs but couldn't find them that way. I hope it's alright to use them and if not, I can remove them if requested.

<<< Previous Chapter

After that magical night, Bucky found himself overthinking again. He was definitely struggling with the feelings he had for her. They were sexual, but that was not all. He had been in only sexual relationships before the war. It was like an agreement: purely sexual and for fun. Some girls wanted a bit more experience before finding the love of their lives, and it was totally fine, but this… this definitely wasn’t the same. He was feeling possessive over her and the feeling was so strange, especially considering they did not even meet face to face.

Of course, he knew he wasn’t the only person she was sharing this side of herself with. Posting adult content was literally her job. There was no doubt other men would like to get closer to her and she would probably talk to them a little, see how she feels and if things fall into place, they would get to see this side of her and she would get aroused just for them. A rare sight. Anybody would be lucky to witness that. 

He still couldn’t believe she was into him. It was probably more of the idea of him, not the real him since she didn’t know who he actually is, right? He knew his dick wasn’t a disappointment, his body was fine, but definitely could be better. There was always space for improvement. She did not see the metal arm or his face. She only heard his voice, saw some parts of his body, and created a different version of Bucky. Not even Bucky, James. Some 33-year-old dude named James who was partially good-looking. In her mind, he must be someone else, completely different from reality.

That was what she should be for him too, right? Some random super attractive girl on the internet who was willing to talk to him? Nothing more. Yet he couldn’t force himself to feel nothing but sexual attraction toward her. He tried to focus on work, but he couldn’t. Mission reports were always boring anyway. How were they supposed to distract him? 

>> Hey handsome, I hope you’re having a good day.

Her texting him doesn’t help, either. It’s just making it harder for him to stay away. He needed to distance himself, get a new perspective and maybe, maybe have a chance to realize he was being ridiculous. But she was so hard to resist her, especially when she was just wishing him a good day like this, with no expectation or pressure.

<< Hey, Bunny. It’s boring, but I’ll survive. I hope you are having a good day.

>> Oh, I’m having a great day. Especially after last night…

Bucky closed his eyes and took a deep breath when he read the message. He just wished she wouldn’t bring it up. It was great, he can’t deny it, but he knew… he fucking knew it was nothing special for her, and remembering that just broke his heart a little more. She shouldn’t have to act like it meant something to her. The idea of her faking something was just unbearable.

<< You know you don’t have to…

>> I don’t have to what?

<< I’m grateful that you made me feel special. It felt great, but I know I’m not special or anything and you don’t have to act like I am. It’s fine. 

Her responses came in so quickly, he had a bit of a hard time following them.

>> What the fuck, James?

>> What the actual fuck?

>> Do you think I am doing this with everyone?

>> Is that how low you think of me?

>> You think I open my messages, talk to the ones that seem okay, and send them special photos in my spare time?

>> Why would I fucking do that? What am I gaining? Loyal followers? More paying customers? People don’t wanna pay shit for things they can get for free. I know that better than anyone. It’s my job!

>> You think I pick the ones that are good-looking, and just have fun? If that were the case you wouldn’t even have a chance! Do you know why? You don’t even have a profile picture! I didn’t even know your name for days! I don’t even know if you are single or married or divorced!

>> If you think I’m treating loyal customers like this or something you are wrong. God, I feel so stupid because I thought you were different. Why would you be any different than the others? Just because you respected my boundaries, just because you didn’t ask for private photos, and just because you reminded me of those gentlemen from 40s movies, it doesn’t mean you are not after the same thing they are.

>> You have no idea what I am risking just by talking with you. God, I’m so stupid. 

>> You got what you want and now you are done with the small talk. I get it. I’m backing off. Sorry for disturbing you.

<< Bunny, bunny, bunny!

<< No, please, stop! That’s not what I meant.

<< Please, give me a chance to explain myself. 

<< Please.

<< That’s not what this was, believe me.

>> Explain what? How this is nothing special for you? It was just a bit of fun time with the girl you were following online? I don’t want to hear it.

>> You don’t have to explain anything to me. You don’t owe me an explanation, I’m just a random girl who shares adult content. Obviously, I have no soul or feelings. 

<< I’m the one who has feelings for you, okay?! I didn’t think you would find me interesting or special because I don’t feel like I am. 

<< I am sorry. I think I was just projecting. That’s what my therapist would say.

<< I just didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable with my feelings. I thought they would be totally unrequited.

>>  You have feelings for me?

>>  You better not be lying to get out of trouble, James! 

<< I’m not, I swear. Just give me a chance, okay?

>> Fine. You get one chance. Tonight. You explain yourself on a video call or I’m not talking to you anymore.

<< Whatever you want, doll. Whatever you want. Just don’t step out of my life. 

***

The day did not seem to pass fast enough. It felt like time was standing still just to torture Bucky more. The work was much more boring than usual: a lot of paperwork, signatures, and chasing the right people. Not that he was chasing anyone. He was sitting and pitying himself while waiting for Natasha to show up. He just wanted to get up and leave, but apparently, it wasn’t possible. When Natasha finally stepped inside, Bucky groaned out of frustration.

“Oh, fucking finally, Romanoff.”

Natasha didn’t even look at him.

“I was busy. What do you need?”

“A couple of signatures.” She leaned in and started to sign the papers as quickly as possible. She was never reading what she was signing because who had time to read a 25-page-long mission report? Apparently, Bucky Barnes because he had to write it from the scratch. Like his day wasn’t horrible enough... “I wish we could just go on missions, and that would be it.”

“Oh, that’s the dream, Barnes. That’s the dream.” She finally put her pen down. “I’ve been writing the mission reports for months. It’s your turn now, stop complaining.”

“I know, I know.” He accepted the defeat much easier than he normally would.

“Are you alright?”

Bucky looked up at her from his seat. Was he alright? Definitely not. He could feel a heavy knot inside his chest, burning his lungs and stomach while he was waiting for tonight. Of course, he wasn’t going to say that to Romanoff.

“I’m fine.”

“Doesn’t look like you are. Whatever it is, stop overthinking.”

“Easier said than done,” he murmured. 

“Look, I know it’s not an on-off switch, but you gotta try a little bit harder. Shift your focus on something else or just face whatever makes you this… uneasy.”

“I’m gonna face it. Shifting my focus is not helping.”

Natasha gave him a suspicious look. She had no idea what this was about, but she had a feeling it might be because of the pretty girl she suggested to him. Or was it just wishful thinking? No, wishful thinking wasn’t something she did often. She was always a big realist and something was definitely up with Barnes.

“Good.” She simply answered. She knew him well enough to guess pressuring him to talk wouldn’t work on him. “We have a meeting tomorrow.”

Bucky groaned in frustration because he was just done with the mission report and now SHIELD was ready to send them in another mission again.

“We need a break.”

“This one is pretty urgent. Apparently, it’s been an undercover operation for a while now and they finally got the info they need. We’ll need to leave right after the meeting.”

“An undercover operation, huh? Interesting.”

“Be here at 9. Fury wants us all present, it’s really important.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll be there.”

***

Bucky had no idea when the video call was gonna happen, but he was already feeling too self-conscious. His face was known to most people all over the world since he was accused of killing the king of Wakanda. Then working for SHIELD became a big deal. He wasn’t sure how Bunny would react when she realized he was the Winter Soldier. He wasn’t ready for that.

>> Are you there? I’m available for that video chat.

<< I am.

>> OK. I’m calling you.

He quickly turned his laptop on, hoping he would keep the camera off for the conversation. Maybe just hearing his voice would be enough for her.

“James?” Her voice was so soft and silky. Hearing her saying his name like that made him shiver a little.

“Yes, doll?”

“Why is your camera off?” Of course, she wasn’t gonna let it go. What was he even thinking?

“I am not…” He actually didn’t know what to say. “I don’t feel comfortable…”

“You don’t feel comfortable with me? Is that what you’re saying?” She definitely sounded offended.

“No, it’s not like that. I don't feel comfortable... and you might not feel comfortable either."

“Why?”

“It’s hard to explain.” He was hoping she would just let it go.

“Try me.” She didn’t.

“Please, doll… Let’s just talk.” He was practically begging at this point.

“Jamie, if you don’t turn the camera on, I’m leaving. We can’t continue like this.” She sounded so determined, it was scary. And her calling him Jamie? A part of him melted. He had noticed how her calling him Jamie influenced him in this way. Maybe because his mom called him Jamie when he was little. Bucky came later when he was a teenager. Before that, he was Jamie at home.

“Don’t. Please, don’t.”

“Don’t what? Call you Jamie?” The defensive tone of her voice was breaking his heart.

“Don’t leave.” He quickly turned the camera on, afraid she might just leave. Then he heard her gasp. Fuck, she’s scared, he thought. “I told you it might be uncomfortable.”

She quickly pulled herself together.

“Yeah, it’s so uncomfortable looking at that pretty face.” She managed to say, trying to hide her surprise. “Or those blue eyes. Do you ever look in the mirror Bu-bunny?”

“Bunny?” He repeated confused. “You are the bunny, not me, doll.” 

“If you say so.” She shrugged, licking her lips nervously. “I can’t believe you have been hiding this face all this time.” she tried to focus on him. “Why did you even think I would be uncomfortable?”

“Don’t you know… who I am?” he sounded nervous again, thinking he might have to explain his past. It’s always tedious. How can you say you were a brainwashed assassin in a less threatening way? You can’t. That was the problem. 

“I know you were the Winter Soldier if that’s what you are asking.” 

Oh.

“That explains the reaction.”

“No, it was because of your pretty face. Not because of your past. I’m in no position to judge you for your past. Whatever you did, you had no control over it. That’s pretty obvious.”

“How can you be so sure?” His question came instantly.

“Maybe I can tell you how and why one day, but not today.” She sounded a bit uncomfortable, so Bucky didn’t want to push her.

“Whenever you want, Bunny. I will always be here to listen.”

“Can I see your arm?” The change of topic came too suddenly. Her question caught Bucky off guard.

“Huh?” 

“Your metal arm. It’s vibranium, right?” She was talking about the arm he has been trying to hide so hard. Does she really want to see that arm? 

“Yes, it is.” He tried to sound as normal as possible.

“Can I see it?” She repeated eagerly.

Without saying anything, Bucky curled up his sleeve to reveal a part of his arm, still feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“Wow.” She looked stunned. “It looks… so pretty. The gold details. Wow.”

Her expression was something that can’t be faked. She was so genuinely surprised and interested. It gave Bucky the confidence he needed.

“Wanna see the rest?”

Bunny nodded excitedly, making Bucky smile. He took his henley off pretty quickly, and his metal arm, broad chest, and dog tags were on full display.

“Now I know why you only had one arm in every picture you sent me. Smart move, Sergeant Barnes.” Her eyes were still on his body, focusing on his arm. Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he felt this desired. Oh, god she definitely knows who I am, he thought. Getting called by his rank did things to him. He could feel the blood rushing to the other places. It’s not the time, it’s not the time, he tried to remind himself, yet a low groan escaped his lips before he could control it.

“So am I gonna see the rest, Sergeant?”

He gave her a confused look. When he asked that question he meant the rest of his arm, but apparently Bunny had different ideas. 

“You mean…”

“The rest of your body, yes.”

“I thought we were gonna talk.” He tried to hide how much he was actually enjoying this change.

“We were, but I changed my mind.” Bucky smiled once again. Maybe I still got it, he thought.

“Because of the arm?”

“Because of you and yes, the arm too since it’s a part of you.” 

“I never thought…” He couldn’t get to finish that thought.

“Your arm would be a turn-on? Well, it is. You should get used to that.”

“That’s gonna take a while,” Bucky admitted, then he looked back at the screen. “You gotta share more to see more, Bunny.”

“You are a fast learner, Sergeant. I like that.”

“I told you, you can always count on that.”

Bunny took her shirt off, instead of answering him. Bucky’s expression changed pretty quickly when he noticed she had no bra on. God, he needed to touch her, feel her and make her feel good, but he has no idea if that was even possible. His eyes focused on her nipples. How could they look this delicious over a video call? He wanted to latch on them, suck until she was a crying mess under him. 

“You okay, Sarge?”

“God, Bunny, if you call me Sarge or Sergeant one more time, I will come inside my pants.”

“Noted,” she said with a teasing voice. “We wouldn’t want that, would we? I wanna see you first. Then we can make that happen.”

“I wanna see you, too. Coming hard while I tell you dirty things that turn you on.”

“Wow, the old man has a dirty mouth. Who would’ve thought?”

“Are you teasing me?” He asked with a small smile on his lips.

“I am challenging you.” Bucky gave her a suspicious look.

“To do what?”

“To talk dirty for real, James. You are ‘all talk and no action’ sometimes.”

“Oh, is that what we are doing now?” He already sounded challenged by her words. “I should’ve known you wouldn’t like a gentleman.”

“I do like a gentleman, outside the bed. In the bed, they are boring.”

“Okay, okay.” He nodded, trying to decide what to do next. “Good to know. Now, take your clothes off. I wanna see that body.” 

“Is that an order, Sarge?”

“Yes, it is, Bunny.”

“And what if I don’t follow it?” Her voice was so fucking cute, Bucky did not know how she managed to be like this. 

“Then you will be punished accordingly.” He didn’t even think before answering.

“Over the phone?”

“No. I will punish you in person. I will find wherever you live and I will punish you for not following a clear order.” The words spilled out of his mouth without much thought. The second he was done, he realized what he said. God, if she had got scared, she would have had every right to do so.

“That sounds more like a promise.” Her answer was unexpected and didn’t seem wary. Was she not scared of him? At all?

“It can be, but you wouldn’t wanna get punished.” 

“Hmm…” She thought for a second. “Tell me, what do you want? A good girl or a bad one?”

“I want you, Bunny. Whichever you are.” His answer must be unexpected because Bunny’s expression changed for a second. She looked emotional and vulnerable, but she quickly pulled herself together.

“I am a little bit of both.” 

“Then both it is.”

Bunny quickly took her remaining clothes off instead of responding, giving him a look. “Your turn.”

Bucky did the same.

“Now what do you want me to do?” She asked eagerly.

“Touch yourself for me.” She could feel how aroused he was just by hearing his voice. The full view of his erection was helping, too. 

“Touch yourself first.” She sounded so demanding and Bucky couldn’t find the strength to refuse. His flesh hand wrapped around his already painful erection. “With the metal one, Sarge.”

Bucky quickly looked back at her, with confusion written all over his face.

“I promise, I am not a groupie or anything. I just think it would look so hot.”

“A groupie?”

“Google it if you don’t know what it means. I am not gonna embarrass myself by explaining.” Bucky laughed a little.

“I know what it means, Bunny. I just wasn’t sure why I would think you're a groupie.”

“Oh…” She looked at the camera for a second. “You really don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?” He was completely lost.

“That you have fans.”

The look he had was unforgettable: completely lost.

“I have fans?” He repeated mindlessly.

“Nobody told you that, huh?”

“Nope. I have fans?”

“You do.” Bunny giggled. He was really an adorable old man. “People who defend you online. I will explain more later, okay?”

“Okay.” He still sounded confused, but he let it go. The sight in front of him was more interesting than a group of people defending him. 

“Metal hand, around your cock.” She reminded him.

“Right.” She watched him wrap his vibranium fingers around his erection. It was truly a sight.

“Now, your turn.” 

“What do you want me to do?” She quickly asked.

“Do you have a dildo around?”

Bunny was silent for a second. “Yes?” Her tone was hesitant.

“Do you have a favorite?”

She tried not to smile. “Of course.”

“Take that one.” He sounded so confident. It was a huge turn-on. 

“Wait a second.” She left the frame for a while, and Bucky could hear her walking around, looking through her stuff. Finally, she came back with it. 

“You like it big,” Bucky stated after seeing the dildo. It was probably as big as his own dick. No wonder she was so into the pictures he sent.

“Is that a problem?” Her question was genuine. “I can get a smaller one.”

“Why would I want that?” He had no idea. “I want you to enjoy this. That’s why I asked for your favorite.”

Bunny’s concern vanished quickly.

“Now what, Sarge?”

“Now we both start to play with ourselves.”

“Sounds good.” Bucky watched her brushing her fingers against her clit while letting out delicious, low moans. It was nothing too pornographic, and he could feel more blood rushing to his lower side. He started to work on himself pretty slowly with his vibranium hand since it was new to him. He never used his metal fingers before so he was trying to be careful. 

“Use lube.”

“Huh?” Bucky looked like a fish out of water.

“Use lube, it will make it better.” Her fingers were still working on her clit and lips as she spoke. “Or whatever you have. A cream works too, I guess.” 

“I have lube, doll. How do you think my dick survived you for this long?”

She giggled again, and all Bucky wanted to do was kiss her hard. Her lips, her nipples, her wet pussy. Anything… he just needed to taste her. 

“You don’t even need lube, do you?” he asked, trying to distract himself.

“Nope.” She moved her finger away from her pussy, just to show him how wet she is, and the response she got was a loud moan.

“Fuck.” He took a deep breath. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” It was such a raw reaction, and Bunny loved every second of it. “All for me?” 

“All for you, Sarge.”

His fingers started to work faster, and thanks to the lube, it was much better than he expected. He was surprised at how the metal felt against his cock. Definitely didn’t feel like flesh, but it was good. Really good since he could actually move his metal hand faster.

“Can I put this in me?” She asked Bucky for permission to finally use the dildo, and god, he had to stop for a second, not to come instantly. 

“Yes. Yes, you can.” He breathed out, struggling to form sentences at this point, but he managed it.

She pushed the dildo inside her effortlessly and let out a loud moan as she moved it in further. Bucky took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. There is no way you are not gonna come before her. He was talking to himself. Just calm down. 

"Ride that dildo, Bunny. Imagine it's me."

“You want this to be over soon, huh?” Her teasing tone helped him relax. He liked that he wasn’t alone in this.

“You gotta meet me in the middle, Bunny. Otherwise, it’s gonna be embarrassing.”

She didn’t tease or challenge him this time. She just listened to his order and started to ride the dildo as she would ride him. Her movements, the noises she made… She was making things even harder. He felt like he lost control of his fingers. He wanted to slow down, try to come with her, but his metal hand wasn’t listening to him.

“F-fuck.” He breathed out. “I’m- I’m gonna come.” He sounded so pained like he was disappointing her.

“I’m gonna come, too.” Her response was quick. “Sstop holding yourself back.” She was panting, involuntarily showing him how close she actually was.

“Shit. Pinch your nipple for me if you like that.” His metal hand was moving fast on his cock, it was oozing with precum already. 

“I do.” She was out of breath already. “I do.” Pinching her nipple was enough to push her over the edge. “Oh, fuck…” When the first wave of her orgasm hit her, he could see how strong it was. “Fuck, Bucky…” The moment she said his name, he knew he was gone. There was no way he could hold back. “This feels so good. So fucking good.”

“God, Bunny.” He let out a loud moan as his come hit the laptop screen. He gasped as he continued to move his hand until he felt painfully overstimulated.

He had no idea how long the silence between them lasted.

“James?” He heard her silky voice before opening his eyes back up.

“I’m here, Bunny.” She smiled in response. She could see he was still there, but she wasn’t gonna say that.

“That was amazing.” Bunny looked so blissed out.

“Tell me about it.” He shook his head like he couldn’t believe how strong that orgasm was.

He heard Bunny taking another deep breath while looking back at him.

“Look, I know this is not the time…” Bunny sounded more serious than before. The tone got his attention back to her. 

“Tell me.” He suddenly sounded so demanding.

“The timing is horrible.” 

“I don’t care.” He smiled, trying to assure her.

“I won’t be around for a while.” His face dropped when he heard her words. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you tonight. I won’t be online or posting new content.”

"Is something wrong?" He sounded so worried, so panicked. As crazy as it might have been, he didn't want to lose her, especially after this.

“No, no, no.” She quickly assured him. “It's something I have to do. I was working on something for a long time and now it might come to an end. Which is a good thing since that's what I was trying to achieve. I just need to deal with it, then I will be back and I'll explain everything, okay?” Bucky nodded. “Just know that I'll be busy, but I'll come back, okay? No need to worry about me.”

“I will always worry about you.” That was the truth. Even if he knew she was fine, not hearing from her would worry him. “Thank you for telling me.”

***

The next morning, Bucky woke up feeling much better than he ever felt since he was a free man. Last night, things exceeded his expectations. He noticed how much he was overthinking everything, how he never thought she'd be so okay with who he was. He never thought she would be still attracted to him after seeing him. He wasn’t delusional enough to think he had an ugly face. The problem was the things that face was associated with and, yes, he was still convinced she was way out of his league. But she didn’t seem to care, and that was all that mattered to him. 

He quickly got ready. His morning routine was simple, so he could just leave in half an hour: a quick shower, a simple breakfast, and putting on appropriate clothes were enough. After he was done with the essentials, he found a bit of time to send Bunny a good morning message. She might not be able to respond, since she told him she was gonna be busy these days, but he still felt like doing it. And after last night, he had no intention to refrain from following his wishes. Not anymore.

But when he opened the app, he was simply shocked, horrified even… Because Bunny was gone. Completely gone. Her account was deactivated, and only their old messages were still there.

The panic scattered throughout his body like rapid fire, spreading from his chest and burning everything on its path. He had no idea what to do. He didn't have her number or any social media accounts if she had any. He didn’t even know where she lived. Yes, sure, Bunny told him she was going to be away for a while and wouldn't be able to share anything, but deleting her whole account? That was completely unexpected and alarming. He rubbed his face with both of his hands, trying to figure out a way to make sure she was fine.

Slowly, the overthinking returned and took complete control of him. What if she just played it cool yesterday but wanted to vanish after learning who he actually was? The Winter Soldier was a terrifying figure, he would have not blamed her if that had been the case, yet he would have felt betrayed and disappointed. He tried to think of a moment or a small detail that showed she was just trying to act her way out of a dangerous situation, but nothing came to his mind. She was surprised, of course, but after that initial shock, she was back to her normal self. She even wanted to see him more intimately. Was it because she didn’t feel safe anymore? Could she possibly act so flawlessly and show no fear while trying to get away? A part of him didn't believe that couldn’t be true. She was one of the most authentic people he met, even though they did not actually meet in person. That was why he was pulled towards her this much. Another part of him thought this is basically her job. She had to look convincing enough, but looking and acting were completely two different things, and Bucky wasn’t sure of anything anymore. He was so focused on trying to find a logical explanation for everything that he almost didn't hear his phone ring. 

When Bucky grabbed back his phone, he saw the name Sam Wilson on the screen. He didn’t feel like answering, but Sam was stubborn as usual. He called him back again in a second, and Bucky had no choice but to answer at the end.

“Hey, Buck. You ready buddy? I’m on my way and I can give you a lift.”

Bucky made an unintelligible sound, not knowing how to answer. He already forgot about the meeting and the time.

“Please, tell me you are ready. The meeting is in half an hour.”

“I am.” He finally managed to say something back. His own voice sounded robotic and the words were forced, but he had to go through this day to find a way to reach Bunny. Maybe he could ask for Fury’s help to locate her. It would take a lot of convincing, but he would do it for her. To make sure she was safe and sound. To do that, he had to go to this briefing. 

“Okay, I’ll be there in 5.”

***

As Bucky and Sam finally arrived at the SHIELD headquarters, Bucky muttered a simple thank you. They didn't talk much during the ride, which wasn’t unusual, yet Sam suspected something was wrong. Bucky was usually calm and collected. He wouldn't engage in small talk or chat about random topics, but this time he seemed nervous. Sam wanted to ask what was wrong, but after all the time they spent together, he knew it was better to just wait for a sign. That was always more effective. Bucky would recoil into his shell like a freaking turtle if you made a move too soon, and that was the last thing they needed.

As for Bucky, he couldn't stop wondering about all the possibilities in the world and what he should do next. He would have to talk to Fury privately, ask for help, and get out of this mission. After that, he would go on whatever mission they decided to throw his way. No problem. None at all. Just let me be sure she is fine.

While still thinking about the plan in his mind, Bucky found an empty spot in the meeting room and sank down. He was checking his phone regularly to see if there was anything from Bunny or if maybe her profile would be back up, but no. There was nothing at all, and his worry was growing every second. He had no idea how he was supposed to go through this meeting at all.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to end one of the biggest undercover operations in the history of SHIELD.” Fury’s voice got the attention of everyone in the room. “We are going to hit HYDRA where it hurts the most. Innocents will be saved by cutting HYDRA’s biggest financial income. It doesn't get any better than this.” Fury talking about HYDRA got Bucky out of his own head for a second. “This operation has been going on for quite some time and there’s no one better than Agent Elvisa to explain the details before we get to action.” Fury turned his eyes to the side, moving his hand up to introduce the mysterious agent. What Bucky didn't expect was to see Bunny, in flesh and blood, right in front of him. She was wearing a generic SHIELD uniform, her hair neatly tied up in a ponytail, looking composed.

“Thank you, Director Fury.” Hearing her silky voice made Bucky realize he wasn’t dreaming. His eyes widened when he realized he was really standing there, looking perfect in that ugly outfit. He could feel a hole forming in his stomach while Agent Elvisa started to explain the details. She was actively trying to avoid meeting his eyes while talking, showing some statistics and the essential, but Bucky couldn’t hear anything. His ears were ringing.

Since Bunny kept avoiding the eye contact with him, Bucky’s glance turned over to Natasha. She was the one who suggested her, after all. Did she know about this? The woman who he thought was a complete stranger was actually a SHIELD agent. There was no way Natasha did not know this. Was this all an elaborate prank? Maybe orchestrated by Natasha. That would make perfect sense.

Bucky understood that HYDRA was making a lot of money from their human trafficking network, and SHIELD was about to destroy it. He would have loved to focus more on the details since this would have been a personal case for him in another context. He was one of their victims after all. Yet his palms were sweating as he thought about confronting her. Even when he tried hard to understand, his brain didn’t compute any of the information she was giving. It was too loud, too uncomfortable. He felt thirsty and nauseous at the same time.

After the meeting was over, Bucky jolted out of his seat to catch her. He needed a second to talk to her, privately, to understand what the fuck was going on. He thought he deserved that much explanation before going on another mission after everything that happened between them. 

She was talking to someone, but Bucky didn’t pay attention to their conversation. He stopped right next to her, invading all of her personal space without considering how it might look from the outside.

“We need to talk.” His voice was so harsh, it made her flinch. She looked up and met his eyes for the first time, and he could clearly see she was uncomfortable. 

“She was…” The man she was talking to tried to interject, but Bucky was having none of it.

“I’m talking to Agent Elvisa.” God, the way he said her name was stone-cold. It sounded like he wanted to spit her name out. He subtly grabbed her arm. “We need to talk. Right now.”

***

Bucky’s hand didn’t leave her arm until they were tucked inside the closest empty office. He was trying to control himself, but it was so hard when a million questions were running through his head. Yet, he managed to choose one to ask.

“Why?” His eyes were like two daggers.

“Why what?” She managed to say back, a little terrified.

“Why did you do this to me?” The way Bucky asked the question broke her heart. She could hear the disappointment, the pain and betrayal in his voice. “I just need to know why you did this to me.”

“What are you talking about? What did I do to you?” She looked completely clueless, and it hurt Bucky even more. “Look I know…” She tried to explain, but he didn’t let her.

“Was this a joke? Did Natasha put you up to this?” He talked so fast and harshly. “Or was this a bet between co-workers?” She was silent. Completely silent. Trying to understand what he was talking about.

“You think I played with you?” She asked the question like she couldn’t believe him. 

“Didn’t you, Agent Elvisa?” Again, her code name sounded so harsh on his lips. She wasn’t Bunny anymore.

“Playing with you was never my intention.”

“But you did it anyway.” God, he sounded so broken, on the verge of a breakdown.

“I didn’t even know I was talking to you until last night, Bucky.” She was getting emotional, but Bucky wasn’t in the state to notice it. “I could never…”

“You could never what? Make a fool of me? Break my heart? What did you think would happen when you decided to show up and give a presentation in that freaking room?” He raised his hand to point toward the general direction of the meeting room.

“I didn’t know you would be here!” She finally snapped and started to yell back. “I didn’t know I was talking to you until last night! Did you even listen to me back there?”

Bucky looked all lost, trying to understand why that would matter right now.

“I was on an undercover mission all this time. It had nothing to do with you! You think I made a fake account and started creating content just to mess with you? Why would I do that?”

“I… I don’t know.” He didn’t know anything. All he came up with was a list of possibilities.

“I have been doing this for months! I’m trying to catch those bastards, trying to look convincing enough and make them pay for what they did!” She stopped for a second, trying to collect herself. She didn’t want to cry. Not right then. “You think you are so important that I would create a whole ass account instead of just coming and asking you out?”

Her question silenced him for a second, making him wonder what the last sentence meant.

“What did you just say?” 

Right at that moment, someone knocked on the door and stuck their head inside.

“Sergeant Barnes, we have to leave in 10 minutes.”

He didn’t even look their way. “I’m in the middle of something!” It was so harsh yet attractive.

“I know, but Director Fury…”

“Just tell him I need 5 more minutes.” The determination in his tone shook the agent and he left without saying anything in return. As soon as Bucky heard the door close, he repeated his question.

“What did you just say?”

“I don’t know what kind of sick game is going on, but I’m assuming you know I have a crush on you. Maybe Nat told you. I.. don’t know, but I would never do something like this. Not to you, not to anyone. I’d just ask you out and get rejected with pride.”

“You had a crush on me?” He couldn’t believe what she was saying.

“You… didn’t know?”

“No.” They both looked so confused.

“I assumed that you did.” She awkwardly looked around.

“Nope.”

The door was opened without a knock this time and both of them turned their heads simultaneously.

“Buck-” Sam couldn’t even finish his sentence. The double death glare startled him.

“For god's sake! I just need 5 minutes of privacy before I go there and fight. Is that too much to ask?” 

“Okay, man, calm down. I’ll tell Fury.” He quickly looked at Bunny and then at Bucky before closing the door behind him. Both Bucky and Bunny turned their eyes to each other.

“Okay, look… I didn’t play with you.” She started to explain. “No one put me up on a mission to mess with you. I don’t know if this is a twisted game of fate or something else, but I didn’t know you would be involved in this operation, okay?”

“It’s Romanoff’s doing.” He finally put two plus two together, and she nodded slowly. It made sense to her, too. Then they heard Fury talking outside, and they knew that the time was running out.

“We don’t have time for this.” She stated while running her hand through her hair. “Just know that I was going to explain everything after the operation. That’s why I said what I said yesterday.”

Before he could answer her, the door opened once again. No knocking, no hesitation. Bucky was about to yell at them not to interrupt once again, but Fury was standing on the door sill, looking uneasy.

“Barnes, we have no time for…” His eyes darted between both of them. “...whatever this is. We have to leave before it’s too late.”

“Fine.” He finally responded after a short while. “I’m coming, but this conversation is not over, Agent Elvisa.”

“I’ll be waiting, Sergeant Barnes.”

Next Chapter >>>

***

taglist (I tried to tag everyone who showed interest in chapter two. If you would rather not be included please let me know.)

@geminiflanagansblog @sadg1rlsei @lia-winther @nanikio @barnesboo1967 @chinaza444 @kaitlin013106 @ryanmxrie @steverogers-wife @weaselbeedisneygeek @tilltheendofthelinepal9950 @happyxdayxbitch @marvelogic @wintasssoldier @buckybarnessimpp @marvelsbitchh @alright-i-guesss @almosttoopizza @rabbitrabbit12321 @cookielovesbook-akie  @whalien52bbgrl @cjand10 @scifinerd1818 @dellalyra @capswife @netherqueen23 @beware-my-thorns @freegardenbanananeck @iamstevessmile @raven1234321 @divadinag @noisesinthedark @amanda-says @ozwriterchick @sleyeveryday @arsonfrogger @lfaewrites @alana4610 @amberpanda99 @splendidreads @acatwriteshere

[lyralit]

4.1.24 - the importance of learning new things

As much as I think academic & work focus is incredibly important going into the new year, one of my other goals is to practice doing more: to learn all of the things I want to do, in addition to work, in addition to writing. I want to know how to do thousands of little things, and I think the longer we wait, the less likely we are to do them.

Picking up a new hobby doesn't have to be buying a dozen textbooks and spending hundreds of dollars on lessons because you might have the slightest interest: it can be from whatever you have here, now, and you'll never learn if you don't get started.

Some of the things I've been getting into (as I've mentioned before) are baking & crocheting. it just feels so cozy and nice & I love the idea of comfort.

here is a list of things I want to / you should try that's new!

learning a new language. fifteen minutes a day, I kid you not. I'm learning latin on duolingo and I don't ever think about it, but when I do it (25 day streak 💪🏻), I'm starting to notice my improvements

consuming good media. and that's not scrolling for half an hour on tumblr. it's books—deep ones and silly ones and ones about romance and dragons and apocalypses. it's movies! I watched keira knightley's pride and prejudice twice in the last few months, and also three men and a baby which is something I never thought I would watch, but it was quite funny I think. and I learn from it: I cannot write humour or romance for the life of me, so it's basically studying to write (is the self-gaslighting too evident?)

learning to crochet. I made a silly little headband today, after scrolling through pinterest and desperately wanting one. I started crocheting in december to give as gifts (I completed none of my wips, much like when I write) and used the tools I had around me: an old rainbow loom hook and whatever string I could find. now I'm proud to say I can read somewhat fluently crochet acronyms.

baking. I keep saying this. I know. but when I tell you a two years ago I was exploding cupcakes in the oven and last month I made bakery-style cookies...I made bread! a loaf of bread! (in a bread machine, but it's so good and I instantly made another. there is one in the bread machine right now). honestly it just made me feel that much better about improvement, and trying new things, and that is the mindset I want for the new year.

learning to code. in all honesty, I never thought I was a compsci - engineer kind of person. then this year, out of sudden (masterminded) urges, I joined a bunch of tech and robotics initiatives, and maybe it's the sense of community (I can rejoice in finding another nerdy group) but now I am happily chauffeuring myself to these meetings 4h a week. I'm looking into pursuing more into the fields of eng and science. and I'm learning some code from one of the friends I've made!

starting a blog. ...I know most of the people who linger around my blog stay for the writing content (the last posts have turned this writerblr into a digital diary, and I'm only half sorry for that). but since I've joined tumblr (almost three years ago now!) I've got to meet so many wonderful people (including you!) and want to try so many things.

and I get it. it's overwhelming. so here are some starting goals that maybe I'll try also.

start doing art. -> make a card for someone as a gift.

learn a new sport & start exercising. (I'm trying out track & field in the spring, so stay tuned to figure out how that goes) -> see if someone will come play ball with you. do 1 or 2 youtube workout videos a week.

film videos of your daily life. it doesn't need to be for posting! -> edit together clips you've taken for a last year recape.

start a scrapbook. -> print out photos and dig up construction paper. decorate a page.

make a poetry journal. -> go on pinterest to read poetry! pin styles you like and set fifteen minutes to writing.

make a regular journal! -> write once a day. just try: goals for the day in the morning, or a recap at night.

try your hand at gardening. -> research plants that grow well in your region. see if any of the seeds you may have at home are useful. water your lawn. buy a plant and try to keep it alive (set reminders, leave it in front of your sink)

learn to make candles. -> watch a youtube tutorial. see if you can play around with candles you already have.

play chess. -> see if someone will play chess with you. no? chess.com is right there. go make an account. go find a stranger.

learn to play an instrument off youtube. -> maybe you have a piano sitting around, or a guitar you've never touched. you don't even need to master it. pick a song you like and google that. no instrument? maybe there's a way to play drums with home items.

go for a run. -> once a week. a set time. just shoes and the outdoors. too cold? go to a gym and use a treadmill. maybe that's not possible? skip rope.

start / join a book club. -> just you, or some close friends, or people online. a book a month. talk about it.

** on that note, would anyone like to join a tumblr book club? slide into my asks and maybe we can get a blog list!

thank you for reading again <3 until next time.

k.

[w-sss]

✨HAPPY SEVENTH ANNIVERSARY✨

Heyo! I don't really often write any long posts and I don't know where to start, really. But this time I'm writing on a special occasion, Mystic messenger is now 7 years old now!

Well, first of all let me congratulate both the fans and Cheritz who gave us this wonderful game. Together we've been through meme moments, creative & traumatic moments, and we also overcame the rumour that the game would be taken off the Google play/Appstore and removed (really, do you guys know how much that scared the fandom? If anything, I think we're all looking forward to at least the 10th anniversary, and hopefully the subsequent ones if possible. Either way, prosperity to Cheritz! Thanks for surprising us all these 7 years with new artwork and more content. I just can't help but congratulate them because I'm sure that a lot of work has been done during these 7 years).

Secondly my first question after the whole 7 year anniversary thing beong announced was "how long have I been asleep?". Like yes, I've been in the fandom for probably about three years (because I remember that I caught out of all the existing anniversary screensavers only the one with cups, who remembers, remembers, and who knows, knows), but I am pleased and pleasantly surprised by the fact that the guys continue to release some content after 7 years!!!! (by the way, I like the style of the new artist, so native, so canonical, in my opinion (P.S. I love all the artists who drew screensavers and all the rest of the artwork in the game, I just could not help but note the work of the new artist, they are very cosy in my opinion).

Thirdly, look who decided to participate in an event from Cheritz for the first time ever (first time in 7 years. I've actually made attempts to participate, but you know my boneheadedness (you probably don't, because like I said, I don't write long posts often) and inability to catch up and post everything in time)? I did, of course. But I didn't find in their tumblr post the template they mentioned (I just don't use twitter (it doesn't work in my country and surprisingly it doesn't work with a VPN either), maybe the template is there), nor information about whether I should post my email or account info here... Just in case I suddenly get lucky....

Oh well, what else can I say in conclusion? I present to you Saeyoung (crying, from happiness of course) and MC in her wedding look (lol, I look similar to her in real life (I even have a meme on this topic that I'll probably post later), so I guess you could say I'm killing two birds with one stone (proverbial, no killing)). I'm glad that I was finally able to accurately portray 707 the way I imagine him in my head.

And I congratulate all of us once again on the anniversary (and on the party theme, which if not everyone, then every third person was looking forward to, I believe ;) ).

[jolee]

Hi Jolee! I'll take your word for it, and ask you anything.

I love your manga! You have developed a style that is very you and instantly recognizable. I discovered you as lately as yesterday, but have gone through everything about you I could find here on Tumblr. Don't take this as criticism, but I liked you better a couple of years ago. You have become to good now, and "polished". I liked that raw style you used to have, kind of "punk-manga" if there were such a thing.

Do you have your own oc:s? This is way to much talent to waste on fan-art. I want to ask you to start posting mini-comics with your own oc:s. (Wich I'm sure you have lying around at home. If not, get to work and make some!)

I'm writing this from my Hazbinhotel fanblog, wich I have decided should be suitable for all ages. But my hazbinbrainrot has started to heal some and I have started a mangablog thats going to be separated from my other, because my manga isn't suitable for ages under 18, since there are violence, druguse and nudity. In noway porn, but still nothing for 13 year olds wich many of my followers now are.

When I've been working some on my new blog, I was thinking about asking you to take a look, maybe give me a few pointers and constructive criticism. Is that something you can see yourself doing? I'll start to follow you from now, so I won't loose you.

Best wishes, Angelo.

Where am i

[dragongirlie56]

Doubts and Surprises

My first post and Zelink oneshot on Tumblr! Hope you enjoy! I loved writing this one :)

Ship: Zelink

Warnings? None!

Zelink master list <——- my other one shots! :)

///////////////////////////////

Zelda didn't know why she was here. 

Her father and his advisor, Tarak, were having what seemed like a private conversation (might as well have been) with herself being the topic of discussion along with the utter doom that loomed above Hyrule. One that she was reminded of every second of every day since she was six years old. She really tried to ignore them and think of something to take her mind off of their words but she couldn't.

Her green eyes focused on a tapestry in the far corner. The triforce was elegantly sewn into its dark blue fabric. Why did everything have to be a constant reminder of her failures?

She shifted her feet from side to side, her dress restricting her movements. Her hair itched the back of her neck. Her shoes pinched her toes. And the soles of her feet hurt.

"I think it would be beneficial for the princess to continue her training," Tarak's voice sliced through her thoughts.

Red filled Zelda's vision and her fists tightened at her sides. Training always ended with nothing but disappointment and failure. She knew it, her father knew it, and the people of Hyrule knew it. 

"I agree." King Rhoam's voice carried through the throne room.

Of course he would. Zelda couldn't bring herself to look at her father. The King of Hyrule. She knew he meant well but he did a really good job of being a king instead of her dad. With Zelda's mother's passing, she had no one to teach her the ways of Hylia's sacred power. But the amount of training and praying to the silent goddesses gave nothing in return. Nothing but a boiling resentment that fueled Zelda's inner turmoil.

Did he not have another plan? Nothing to go off of? Clearly the last 11 years of training with nothing to show for didn't faze her father.

"She is scheduled to visit the last two springs. They are our last hope," Rhoam mentioned.

"Either spring will likely spark some power." Tarak added.

Zelda bit her tongue, nothing good would come out of arguing with either of them. Neither would listen to her. It always ended in flames when she argued with her father, she didn't need the both of them coming at her. 

Her fists tightened with every agonizing second. How long had it been? At least a half an hour of them referring to her in third person. Would they even notice if she left? 

Tears threatened to sting her eyes, she would not cry. Not in front of them. She needed out. She needed— Her eyes caught a familiar shade of blue, the champion's tunic. Her breathing stopped short all together when she met Link's ocean gaze. He was stationed by the wall with the master sword strapped to his back—something she used to despise with all her being but now it reminds her of him. He furrowed his brows slightly as he glanced between her and the King behind her.

That's right. He was here. She wasn't alone anymore. Oh why had she been so cruel to him before? 

Maybe she could sneak out with him or come up with some excuse. She knew he would take her away from everything if she asked, which was unrealistic considering their circumstances and duty but Zelda still wished for it. It took everything in her not to run to him then and there.

He tilted his head slightly toward the door—-he must've seen the pleading in her eyes.

"Please be off with your training, Zelda." The golden haired princess never guessed she would be somewhat relieved for her father to say those words, though they still made her grit her teeth. Why did he ask for her in the first place? To listen to someone else drone on about how she should continue her sacred training? To have a second opinion? As if she didn't get enough scolding from him.

"Of course, Father." It took everything in her not to spit the words towards his neatly polished boots. She felt like a child all over again.

She spun on her heels and descended the steps—fighting the urge to sprint down the stairs—to meet Link. Her safety. 

"Please escort her, Link." 

Link didn't need such an order, he was already holding out his hand for her to take. Her fingers wrapped around his own and he led her out.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

Her other hand flew to her mouth as she heard the doors close behind her. 

She didn't know where to go, but she didn't have to. Link tugged her down the hall without a word.

—————————————————————————————————

Zelda's shoulders relaxed as she breathed in the fresh air of the castle gardens. The sun rose high in the sky with little clouds to cast away its warm rays. Her ears twitched as she heard bees zip between flowers and birds chirp in the trees. She had to admit, the castle crew had really outdone themselves with the garden grounds.

Her blonde-haired knight guided her towards one of the benches covered in peppered shade.

Her throat tightened, she wanted to cry for an entirely different reason. How can he be so thoughtful? I don't deserve it. 

"Thank you, Link." She reluctantly released his hand and took a seat. Her heart sped in her chest, had she really held his hand the entire time?

He nodded once and gave her a slight smile.

"Do you really think the princess can do it?"

Zelda's shoulders tensed at the new voices. She turned her head to glance behind her. There were two guards strolling through the gardens, their armor clinking against their weapons.

"That's what the King says. If she listens to him we should be fine." The other replied to his comrade.

"I don't know. I've heard talk around. People have lost hope."

Their voices muffled as they rounded the corner towards the courtyard.

"I'll be back," Link said, his voice quiet. She flicked her gaze to him and her eyes widened.

"No! Link you don't have to talk to them. It's fine. They... have a right to doubt me."

"How can you say that?" he questioned.

"What?" Zelda didn't stop her mouth from falling open.

His eyebrows were knit together as he stared at her.

Her hylian ears drooped slightly and her voice cracked with despair. "They're right, Link. All I do is train and it's not enough. We're going to lose this war and it's going to be my fault." She shook her head as her tears fell. "How can you even look at me? A-and be so kind to me still?" She covered her eyes, she didn't want to see his reaction to her questions. "How can you not despise me? I can't even wield the power to aid you against him. I would doubt me too."

I do doubt me. She could almost hear her words out loud.

His boots tapped the cobblestone pathway and ended in front of her. She felt him grasp her hands and lower them away from her tearstained face. 

"Prin... Zelda." The sound of his soft voice made more tears spring to her eyes. She didn't deserve his care or his kindness. She was a princess born to a throne of nothing. "They don't see how much passion you have for your people. For them." He sat down next to her. "You're amazing and they shouldn't talk about you any other way. You're doing everything you can. More than anyone... Please look at me."

She lifted her eyes to meet his blue ones and he continued. "You cannot disappoint or fail me... I'm... nothing but proud of you. I... I could never despise you."

Proud? 

Her hands dropped to the bench as she stared at him with wide eyes. She couldn't remember the last time someone told her that. Maybe since before her mother passed. She also couldn't believe Link said so much in one minute.

Link's eyes went wide. He cast his gaze to the ground, blush flushing his cheeks. "A-am I out of line? I apologi-" 

"No, no!" Zelda reached out to place a hand on Link's arm. He whipped his head toward her.

"Thank you. I didn't realize how much I needed to hear those words." She wiped her eyes furiously. "I-" She let out a breath. "Thank you," she repeated.

"Always," he replied quietly and gave her a smile.

Zelda smiled back and let her hand drop.

They sat in a comfortable silence, listening to the trees rustle in the light breeze.

"I don't know if this is the best time..." Link's voice never ceased to startle her, she was used to him being so silent. But she was happy about his newfound courage to speak. She thought it was silly but she hoped it was her that had something to do with it.

Her curiosity grew as he reached into one of his pouches, she leaned to the side to attempt to get a peek at what he had.

He pulled out a small screw and held it out for her to take. Zelda gasped, it was one of the guardian pieces! She carefully grasped it from his hands and stared at it in awe. Her father never let her near them, even less work with the ancient parts themselves!

"I found it at the training grounds for the guardians while walking back from patrol. No one was around to give it to so I... kept it..." His hand came up to scratch the back of his head. "You always talk about the guardians so... I thought..."

Zelda let a grin overtake her face as she stared at him.

His eyes caught hers and his hand froze, his face flushed with pink. She found it to be the cutest thing ever, the usual ever stoic knight blushing at his words.

"Link. This means everything, thank you."

"I- sure." He nodded and dropped his hand. She wanted to kiss him then and there.

"No really thank you. For everything you do. Even when you don't have to." For a silly moment, Zelda wished it wasn't because of his duty to her. But sometimes she thought any other appointed knight wouldn't do half the things Link does for her. Sure he protects her, that's a given. But even when it was his duty, she felt—hoped that deep down it was because of something more.

"I want to," he said simply with a shrug.

Zelda smiled again. Maybe everything would be okay. With the calamity, her training, the future. As long as Link was there she knew she could do it. With him by her side and hers by his.

[chaotic-orphan]

Found fictional story/novel

So... I have found a fictional novel that I wrote over the last ten years that I had completely forgotten about, and then, once I found it again, I realised there is so much of it - like 90,000 words much of it - and it is a lot to comb through and I kind of shut down mentally when I found it but I am working more now on updates for the WIPS I have on Tumblr!

So you can Expect updates soon in:

Delirious Villain x hero caretaker,

Heroic betrayal,

Intoxicating fear (updates every Saturday) (from now) :)

Vendetta,

and, A Benignant Mischief

which are all started in the drafts!

Updates continued under cut

(*not necessary* to read as it is mostly rambles and ranting about the novel I found (and others), but I want to share some fun revelations I found while skimming it)

There are some whumpy scenes from the novel that I may post as I find them, cause some of them are very whumpy, and I enjoyed reading them~

The plot has a lot of male characters which is both interesting and annoying— interesting because I love the two brothers dynamic, even not even blood related, like two brothers joined together by fate, blood, prophecy etc. Annoying because it’s obvious that I looked at the media I was surrounded with and was like “nobody wants to read about women, if they did, there would be more women centric things” so I’ll write about boys!

Point 2 Contd. (Rant!) Obviously discounting the genre of YA dystopian fiction which was great, and populated by mainly female protagonists, and which I enjoyed, but then, were shit on by the mainstream media because GIRLS CAN’T FIGHT? Girls can’t be the main driving force of a novel? Girls suck, boo girls, unless they’re tom boys or men. Ahem, thank you for your input on teenage girl’s book choices FORTY YEAR OLD WHITE MEN :D WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT YOU

Part 2+3 contd. (the brightside!) However, the good thing about this is that I can populate the rest of the novel with strong female characters! There are a few dotted through who i dote on a bit, I love them, like come here my little beautiful minority <3

The plot centers around two brothers who get torn apart when outlaw's raid in their coastal village - actually, my newest Medieval WIP was inspired by the novel!! Same setting/vibe (as in the coastal village) so very fun

This to say that actually I think the new Medieval WIP is my brain trying to flesh the world out more and see what the average people would do in the world… but it’s a story in its own right too!

There are magic, gods, good gods and bad gods ofc, ancients, bloodlines, descendants, royalty, soldiers, outlaws, magic schools, political intrigue - like it is a mix of everything I have loved over the years which is so funny to see because clearly I haven't changed...

The dialogue?!?!? I don't think I have written like that ever, but the dialogue is so much better than the dialogue I write today and idk why? Maybe because I wrote it off a sudden throng of inspiration or something? But, fuck, how do I write like that again? I mean, without editing, because the amount of editing I had to do to make the novel READABLE wasn't funny, it took so long... it's finished now though, just the editing, NOTHING else - give me strength, I need it

Also, realised that I hate editing - is it something new? Not really, but holy moly... editing sucks, but it also?? Improves the story and fluidity so much, I should start editing my pieces before I publish and come off as far more eloquent than I do

Planning... is also so difficult - 90% of the novel is like this:

Scene X: completed Me: ah, good, that scene is written, I can move on to the next one Me, still staring at Scene X: ...move on now My brain: but what if it happened like this? PROVIDES SEVEN DIFFERENT ALTERNATE ENDINGS TO THE SCENE THAT WEREN'T NECESSARY AND NOW I HAVE TO CUT SO MUCH CRAP BUT MY BRAIN'S STILL LIKE - BUT WHAT IF?

My brain's literally like the writer's brain from Hush, such a good movie... ANYWAYS!!!!

That's the end of all my ramblings for today, was this post necessary? No, but like, I clearly wanted to get it off my chest and vent so we live, laugh, love... I hope all your days are going well :3

~ Orphan,

(P.S. - I'm toying with the idea of dropping my nickname in the bio, or doing a whole overhaul of the blog - the name, the layout... get rid of orphan, or maybe just become "nickname_the orphan", or something. But, see orphans are just so whumpy though I love a good orphan story... thoughts, ideas, waste management? I'm just dunking all my overflow of thoughts on this update today, but sure, look, be grand — I’m truly sorry if you read this far, I am having an ✨episode✨)

[ohnoanalien]

Glitch

STOP MAKING ME RETURN TO TUMBLR TO WRITE THINGS

Anyway @lunar-wandering has some great ideas and I'm absolutely spoiled by the LMK/JTTW community. I love his posts about Macaque and losing control of his powers when he gets emotional, so I tried to combine "Macaque loses control when he gets flustered" and "it's very cute when Macaque is treated like a king". This is post beach stuff-- I hope you enjoy, and good luck with college! Call this a congrats gift!

"Ummm...not that I'm ungrateful that you made this, it's just--"

"The eggs are plant-based! I know you're vegan now, idiot. Your little one-sided biography's been hanging around since the 16th century." 

It’s strange, Macaque thought, how the light worked. He could alter every spotlight, walk under the brightest beam of sunlight, and yet no glow compared to the great centerpiece that casually sat across the kitchen table. He would constantly blind the three realms with his confidence and booming voice.

And oh, how he pampered and spoiled his own shadow nowadays. 

He was always in the spotlight, over-protective over every little bump in the road. Grooming tattered fur after he returned from training with his successor. Reminding his old rival to eat and drink after dragging himself across the three realms, nearly skin and bones under his captor’s bidding.

All services fit for a king. The least he could do is return the favor. Sometimes.

"You tweaked breakfast for me? That's...thanks, I guess." Wukong looked down at his plate with a kind smile.

"Don't mention it." Macaque grumbled between bites. The shadow demon pressed a paw to his speeding heart, checking the reflection of the window to see if it wasn't fluttering as badly as his six ears.

His very visible, unglamored ears. 

Before the Monkey King could look up, he bundled his scarf over his head.

"Everything okay, bud?" He leaned in closer, curiously searching his partner.

"Uhhhh." Macaque said eloquently, leaning as far back in his chair as he could go. “I’m just…a little cold’s all.”

Bad move. The Monkey King’s brow furrowed, absent-mindedly scratching an icy streak in his fur. He could practically hear the great sage’s mind turn, counting the number of blankets they had in their little temple. “How cold?”

Shit. Shit shit shit! If he left now to fix his stupid ears he'd just look suspicious either way. He scrambled for his own fork, ready to down his meal in three bites and make a run for it. 

Taking it as a big, neon ‘do not touch sign’, Wukong sighed heavily. “Just…let me know if you change your mind, okay?”

The other only grunted, waving a paw of approval.

"To be honest, I didn't think we could pick up where we left off." The Monkey King hummed thoughtfully, gaze and mind drifting elsewhere.

"Mhm." Macaque reached for his mug-- freezing in place as a patch of thick white fur crawled up his arm. He quickly stuffed his paws in his lap, sewing on a slapdash glamor. All while the great sage continued his heartfelt speech, not noticing the struggle a foot or so away.

"--ut I think we're really getting better at it. At us, I mean. So what I'm trying to say is, maybe we should talk about…” He looked up, blinking in surprise at the way Macaque dropped his fork, elbows shoved in his lap, teeth clenched through a nervous grin.

“Hey, Mihou? Are you a hundred-and-ten-percent sure you’re okay? You seem, I dunno, distracted?" A peach-furred tail slapped the floorboards.

"Just got a lot on my mind! I'm listening. Promise." Macaque lilted.

"Sure, I gotcha. But if something's wrong--"

"Nothing's wrong!" He waved freshly glamored paws. Nonetheless, the king’s brow weighed with worry, eyes trailing to his old friend’s torso and back again. Apologies would just have to come later. "Just...ignore me. Keep going."

"Fine, fine. Whatever you say. So where was I– Oh, yeah!"

A sigh of relief passed the shadow demon’s lips. And while Wukong chatted away into his teacup, the breath of fresh air was short-lived as Macaque's eyes turned a deep purple.

"--dual mentorship might be a good idea too?"

"Y'don't say." The shadow demon stared very intently at his eggs, head bowed. His snow-furred tail lashed frantically, slipping itself down his pant leg before it could knock something over.

"--t's a big step, but I trust you enough now to--"

Wukong looked up, and Macaque scrambled to hide his face behind his own cup– choking on his tea when longer, sharper fangs clinked against ceramic.

"Mac?" Sun Wukong's head snapped up just as he straightened himself, grin threatening to tear his muzzle apart at the ends behind a paw. "You’re not getting sick, are you?"

"Listening!" His partner wheezed out. He tried not to panic as the glamor that coated his hands nearly popped like snowy balloons. "I'm-- kaff kaff-- I'm listening."

"...Uhhhh sooo...in short..." the Monkey King drawled, ever-so-slowly turning back to his breakfast.

A close call. Macaque bit back a gasp as the table suddenly met his chest, shrinking just a smidge taller than the average macaque– edge prodding his stomach on the way down. A new coughing fit blossomed, barriers completely broken. The second Wukong looked up, his old rival had vanished altogether.

"Mac?" The sage called, standing up to scan the shadier corners of the room.

"Just-- koff-- just dropped something!" Macaque answered from under the table, still trying to get. His illusions. Under control.

He wasn't sure what he expected. Call it bad luck or a bad omen, he desperately pulled at strings of magic, growing three feet too tall before shrinking again. He hit his head on the wooden surface with a loud bang, dishes clinking from the force.

He could practically hear the unimpressed expression on his partner’s face as he lowered himself. "Oh come on, don't be like that! We both know you're never going to talk unless I...I..." 

He didn't need much light to see the X-shaped chunk of a scar that carved through a single, dead eye. Frozen in time, Wukong was unable to stop the shadow weaver from melting into the ground.

On one hand, portaling was the fastest and easiest way to escape any situation. A battle, a theft, a social conversation-- any setting could be an exit when sunlight hit the room just right. On the other hand, Macaque was not informed that his glamors weren't the only defective power in his arsenal. The shadow demon aimed for his old, abandoned dojo. Instead, the demon yelped as he caught on a flurry of branches, falling from the shadowy canopy of a familiar peach tree. Morning sunshine peeked from the rustling leaves. Peppered by flora and pale sand, he felt a stone paw wipe away at his eyes. And when the fog cleared, he was met with another pair that hovered above him, blinking back gold vision.

“Soooo…” The Monkey King drawled, “any reason you’re glitching worse than MK after a bad Monkey Cop binge?”

Macaque didn’t bother to grace him with an answer. Instead he pushed himself upright, face twisting at the fur coat he just groomed.

"Ugh, I look like a wreck." He grumbled.

"Don't sell yourself short." Sadness turned to hope, cupping Macaque's cheeks with his palms. "I, for one, think you look very handsome."

Mihou rolled his eyes, ready to pull away, when Wukong twirled him back into his arms.

"I'm serious." He bent down to kiss the nape of his partner's neck, "I love your beautiful ears. Your silver fur."

"Yeah, sure." Macaque snickered, "Come spring, all the fair maidens in your kingdom would swoon for a guy with fur that looks like dry bones."

"Well I certainly did."

Four simple words sent a shiver up Macaque's spine. The last glamor crumbled to nothing, and he hurried to bury his face in his partner's chest. For a moment, the pair stood completely silent.

Finally, Macaque took a shaky breath, mumbling into leather and silk.

"Pardon?" His king raised an eyebrow, "Something you want to share with the class?"

Six ears pinned back. Teasing turned soft and gentle, and Wukong began to rock the both of them into a soothing rhythm. "Don't sweat it. Take all the time you need, okay?"

A groan traveled down Macaque’s knotted stomach, "I said I...ugh..."

"You...?"

"I just. Agh, this sucks!" Just for a brief moment, Liu’er Mihou raised his head, namesakes revealing brilliant hues that flashed to his emotions.

A realization pierced The Monkey King through the heart, and he swore that he felt feverish. His flush nearly matched the shadow that latched to his waist. "...Oh."

Macaque stared openly.

"...What?" Wukong asked.

"That's it?"

"For gods' sake-- what do you mean that's it?"

Swearing to every level of Diyu, Macaque squirmed out of his arms and towards the waves. "You read me like a goddamn book--"

"'Oh'! It's one word! What do you want, a poem?!"

"--I spent all night learning to make that disgusting, watery abomination of an egg recipe--"

"Hey! Don't diss the diet! It's pretty good when you stick with it for a couple centuries!"

"--And I'm stuck with this stupid mess of a body--" A gnarled root caught Macaque's leg, and he fought to untangle himself with all the strength of an adult-sized monkey. "and it's all-- ugh!-- thanks to you and your stupid eyes– Oof!" He fell to the floor in a heap, sending a cloud of sand flying.

Wukong blinked. "What was that?"

Macaque’s blush dusted the tips of his ears as he ripped the root from his ankle, mussed fur fluffing up with rage. "I said I love your eyes!"

He threw up his hands, exasperated. "I love your stupid, goofy grin! I love it when you laugh so hard you light up a room! I love it when you wear those– those ugly Hawaiian shirts! I love it when you leave them unbuttoned! I love how much you've changed! Sometimes I even love how much you've changed me! And I want you to say literally anything else because now you know I'm in love with you!"

Heaving gasps slowed to a stop. The shadow demon swore that Wukong had reverted back to stone. Slowly, carefully, he unclenched himself. He took one step. Then another. Bending down, Macaque could see Wukong's eyes sharpen, studying every crack and tear in his partner's face.

Macaque swallowed. "Whatever. It's not important. Forget I said any--"

His thoughts-- and breath-- were stolen from him with a pull of the collar. Warm lips connected, the sage’s feather light and gentle.

Nope, not a chance. Macaque didn't pour his heart out just to get a few drops. He wrapped his arms around his king's neck, deepening the kiss-- and sending them tumbling to the floor. For a brief moment, the pair stared at each other, wide eyed and stunned. Macaque's shadowy body hovered over the Monkey King. Splayed against foam that lapped at their side, dazed and panting for air.

Macaque snorted.

Wukong giggled.

Their laughing fit traveled through the ocean breeze.

"Well well well!" Macaque's head rested on his palms, spread flat against his chest. His tail swayed in the air, grown fangs flashing. "I didn't take you for the shy type."

"Ugh, no fair! You cheated." The sage pouted, "I can't help it if all your glamors are dropped. Next time you kiss a goddess, you tell me how it goes!"

It only took three-and-a-half seconds for the walking, talking deity to realize his mistake. Annoyance faded into embarrassment, eyes widening and fur fluffing. “Oh no.”

"Let’s see." His partner smirked, twirling a patch of golden fur around his claw. "How did it feel to kiss a goddess?"

He hummed a contemplative note, as if he were tasting the words in his mouth before speaking. "Eight out of ten."

Wukong bolted up so fast he nearly knocked Macaque off his perch, "Round two."

Macaque bit back a chuckle, "Peaches."

"I should have broken that scale, Mac! I'm a twelve at LEAST."

[thefailedabortioon]

The string that holds us together || Byler

WARNINGS: internalized homophobia

short summary: where mike finally spills the beans. and meanwhile on an ordinary night in november, two boys depart in a garage

requests are open!!

a/n: hai another flickergate fic to add onto the other 18 already existing fics. ^_^

heres the link to the og tumblr post (well, i think its the og post 😭) anyways i’ll stop yapping enjoy!

Will Byers had finally made a fascinating discovery; Mike Wheeler was an asshole.

Honestly, he didn’t know why he defended the guy for so, so long. Mike treated him like shit, why would Will feel like he should be the one begging for forgiveness to him?

Like, take for example, he didn’t even bother apologizing to Will after their argument in the rain. After he’d lost Will again when he biked away. The rain drowning his tears rolling down his red cheeks away. Even after he and Lucas had found him near Castle Byers destroyed by Will’s own hands, his lips never uttered a singular “Sorry.” Oh, but him and El? Those two made up quick. Next thing Will knew, Mike was professing his love for her and how he “couldn’t lose her again!” Has he ever said that about Will? His own best friend?

Or maybe, how Mike probably never even dared to pick up a pen and start inking down a letter for Will. He could write down El letters no problem. Hell, he could write her an entire book! But to Will? Someone he’s known since he was six years old! He couldn’t even call? Then, of course, to make up for the no contact, he decided to give Will the most half-assed hug to ever exist at that airport.

Or how about when he forgot his birthday. March 22nd. His best friend. Someone who Will considered the most special person he’s ever met. Someone who Will wants to spend the rest of his life with, forgets his own birthday. Who the hell does that? I mean, what? They’ve friends for seven- eight years?!

But right now, right now he has to pretend none of that ever even happened. He has to shrug all of that away. Pretend his heart wouldn’t ache at how he was slowly losing his once best friend.

Because some shit is more important than how his old tight-knit relationship with Mike is literally hanging on by a thread at this point. Like how they needed to save the world. Again.

The Upside Down was dark. And cold. It didn’t look like it changed at all, but even so, a chill ran through Will’s back with every step they took in this twisted dimension. Then somehow, by some Satan-blessed miracle, he got lost with the last person he wanted to be with; Michael Wheeler. Just peachy.

“I-I’m just saying, it’s a fucking wonder how Steve Harrington managed to survive in this shithole for so long, you know? Like- My sister, she’s a fucking badass, right? And Eddie, that guy’s got survival instincts, he could thrive in an apocalypse for years. And that uh- what’s her name- Robin? Yeah, she’s- she’s cool. But Steve? The same guy who got absolutely shitfaced by your brother?” Mike scoffed.

“Uh-huh.” Will was only partially listening, trying to keep up behind Mike and his weirdly long legs.

They were navigating themselves towards the Wheeler’s house, but it’s literally (and figuratively) hell trying to look for it in the Upside Down’s dark atmosphere and clouded skies. The only thing lighting their ways was the bolts of lightning that would occasionally crack and thunder in the crimson red sky. Oh, and the continuous flickering of the streetlights.

Mike continued to ramble on, wanting to at least make small-talk, Will knew that this was just another way to try and cope with the fact they had gotten themselves lost in a completely different dimension. Another way to try and convince himself that everything will be fine. Will knew too well.

As they neared the neighborhood, a vine cracked around the two.

“Mike, shut up.” Will raised his shotgun, cocking it, the latter only nervously chuckled before gripping his pistol.

An eerie quiet fell between the two, it was suspenseful. Anxiety struck Mike between his ribs after every second that passed by that the silence didn’t break.

A loud screech played from the distance, and the two let out a deep sigh. “Holy crap.” Will exclaimed, lowering his gun on the ground. He sat down and brought his knees up to his chest, holding his head in his hands.

Mike’s breathing was all over the place, his heart was racing. (Because of his anxiousness. Not at all because of the way Will looked holding that gun.) Whatever that thing was hadn’t even attacked them, yet he was a rattling mess. To be fair, it is his first time in this hellhole.

“Are you okay?” Mike finally spoke, still trying to catch his breath.

“Fine.” Will swallowed a lump in his throat, “Let’s get going.”

Mike nodded, holding his hand out for Will to hold. Surprisingly, he didn’t refuse it, using it to get back on his feet. “Yeah, let’s go.” And just for a split second, Mike had given Will that look again. Where he just looks so mesmerized and smitten. As if Will had hung the stars in his dark horizon. It didn’t last for any longer than just a split second.

After a while of walking, they finally reached the Wheeler’s residence. Where everything happened. The house where Mike himself couldn’t even call it home. “Come on, follow me. I’ll lead you there.”

“I’ve been to your house a thousand times, Mike. I know where your garage is.” He wouldn’t let Mike see it, but in the faintest of all smiles, was a grin plastered on Will’s lips.

“Yeah, but it’s dark.” Mike retorted.

No shit, Sherlock! Was what Will wanted to say, bitterly. But he kept his mouth shut for the rest of the time. “Fuck. It’s locked.”

“Great.” He sighed, “Could you lead me to the keys as well?”

Mike hesitated to answer, as if he was debating if Will was being sarcastic or not, “It’s gotta be here somewhere.” He finally replied, pushing himself between Will and the door.

The two split up, despite how dim it was, Will at least had common sense. So he started to look for bowls that could hold the keys. Maybe they were hooked against the front door? He continued searching, flashing his light on for the darker areas of the house, such as the basement.

“Will!” Mike called out, running back to where he left him. “Found the keys!” He beamed, and Will literally felt his heart skip a beat at how much he missed seeing that smile.

“Don’t shout so loud! Remember, if any other creature hears you, so can Vecna.”

“Right. Sorry. Hive-mind.” He swung the keys around before twisting it in the door. “Open sesame.”

Will snorted, trying to keep his guard up for anything that could lunge at the them at any second. He shone his flashlight against the shelves on the wall. “Mike, crowbar.” With no question, Mike ran over and took it from the toolbox.

He stuffed it inside his backpack along with his other materials. As he tried to make it fit, a pair of longing eyes bore into the back of his head.

Will grimaced, when did they get so distant? Physically, they were close. But emotionally, it feels like he doesn’t even know him anymore. As if they haven’t known each other since kindergarten. As if he hadn’t replied ‘yes’ to him that day on the swings. It’s felt like eons since they last had a conversation without a thick cloud of awkwardness floating above them.

If El had never came along would their relationship remain the same? But then again, if she had never saved him, there would be no relationship at all. Will used to be so confused why he had so much hope in Michael Wheeler, but these past few years made him understand why. It’s just so hard to say it out loud and a guilt would rise in his throat every time he thought about it.

“Mike?”

His friend perked up at him, “Yeah?”

“Are we… still friends?”

“What?” Mike scoffed, confused.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” He paused, thinking it over. Were they? “You don’t- You don’t think of me as your friend anymore?” He asked, voice faltering in worry.

“No! No, I- I just..”

“What?”

“I dunno… we were just so close. But it feels like there’s this huge gap between the two of us now.”

“I…”

“It feels like you’ve been pushing me away.” Will finished, his brows furrowing.

“I’m not pushing you away.” The tallest out of the two stated, Mike looked dejected, like he was trying to convince himself of that more than Will, who broke through his lies easier than everyone else. Because Mike always kept his walls thin and easier to break whenever it was Will. Because it was him, and not anybody else.

“Then why does it feel like I can’t even say anything to you anymore?! Like, you just turned into everyone else? You didn’t even-“ Will cut himself off, tears burning the back of his eyes. He took a deep breath, wiping his hands on his pants.

Mike’s chest tightened, has he been neglecting Will? All this time? Something inside of him wanted to beat himself up for letting his friend- best friend deal with everything, his own inner conflicts all by himself.

Will let out a laugh, though there was no humor behind it. It was dry, flat. “Couldn’t even call?”

“What- What do you mean!?” He stuttered, “I did call, Will! I tried! But you never picked up! You’re acting as if you haven’t been pushing me away as well! Ever since- Ever since I arrived in Lenora you’ve been weird—“

“Weird? Really? Really, Mike?! I’ve been the one acting weird?”

“Yeah! Just-“ Mike sighed, “You know what? Forget it. It’s stupid.” Mike threw his hands in the air, trying to mediate the situation yet failing miserably. He grabbed a bike, removing its brakes, twisting the handles in his palm.

He wanted the fighting to just stop altogether. He couldn’t face Will. He couldn’t face the effects of the conflicts he caused. Because if he did, then everything would crumble. The Earth would crack and break in two while he tried to balance himself on both sides above the split made. And eventually, he’d fall. And fall endlessly into the scars of his mistakes. The scars that run deep into his veins, his soul. Everything hurts.

“No. No, Mike, you can’t keep doing this to me. You’re- you’re doing it again! You’re pushing me away! You’re shutting me out!”

“I’m not! Please, can we just stop?! This is meaningless okay? Where are you even going with this?! You want me to say sorry? Apologize?“

Will didn’t move or say anything, his brows furrowing further, his mouth pulled into a deep frown.

“Then I’m sorry, Will. I’m sorry! I’m really fucking sorry. I’ve been a selfish dickhead and I’ve just been scared. Okay?! So fucking scared.” He screamed, panicked. The first tear that dropped fell from Mike. The waves hit the walls hard, and it was as if a dam had finally broke. He finally broke. “I didn’t want to see- acknowledge you, I couldn’t even stand looking at you anymore! Because something in me would ache, like- like something burning in my fucking soul! And it hurts, Will. It hurts so much. And I’ve felt so guilty for everything that I just… I thought the best solution was to just push everyone away! Push you away…” His voice cracked at the end, tears falling endlessly against his rose tinted cheeks.

He huffed out a breath, “I’ve been going crazy because of it. And I just… I don’t want to keep lying to you anymore. Wasn’t that our number one rule? ‘Friends don’t lie.’ If- If you could even consider me as your friend anymore.” Mike wiped his tears away, ridding the blurriness in his eyes keeping him from seeing his best friend.

Will stood before him, mouth agape. He didn’t realize it, but at some point, he’d started crying as well. Everything, every word Mike said, it felt like boulders finally crashing down from Will’s shoulders, freeing him from the weight of his guilt.

“Mike…”

“I’m sorry. I’m so, sorry, Will. I shouldn’t have said anyth-“

“Stop apologizing for one fucking second, Mike!” Will cut him off.

And there was this moment. A beat.

Then without any thought or reason, driven by pure impulse, Will threw himself against Mike, colliding their mouths together. His lips were soft, and wet. Will had waited for this for so, so long, it became maddening and impossible for him to stop himself from lunging towards his best friend, his crush for basically nine years, the love of his fucking life. Will kept his hand against the low of Mike’s back, the other cupping his cheek. His thoughts scrambled, unable to make one coherent thought because he was kissing Michael Wheeler , (who he once thought was as straight as a ruler, but he’s been wrong about a lot of things.) Kissing Mike was like finally letting go of all the suppressed tension bottling inside of his stomach. Kissing Mike was freeing his soul from the chains of his insecurity and hopelessness. Kissing Mike felt so fucking good.

Fireworks exploded in Mike’s head when he finally got to taste Will Byers, or maybe that was just lightning thundering behind them. The piece of string that wouldn’t stop pulling at his heart had let go. And all the yearning, and hoping, and wishing came true. Everything became so confusing, he hadn’t imagined Will to even look at him with that same look of longing he’d always give him. And so God help him, if this was another cruel trick by Vecna, he’d rather just get it over with. Like ripping off a bandaid. He grabbed Will’s hands, intertwining them into his own.

Will finally pulled away, lips pink. Sometimes he wished human beings didn’t need oxygen to live, because then he could kiss Mike for longer than eternity. “If you’re… going crazy, then we’ll go crazy together. Okay?” He said firmly.

“Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Crazy together.”

Will tittered, “Asshole.” He held his best friend close, not wanting to let go.

A loud buzz rung above the two, the light in the Wheeler’s garage started to glow. And faintly, you could hear an echo of a voice from the other side.

—

Meanwhile, on a seemingly ordinary day in November, were two boys giving their final goodbyes to each other for the night.

“It was a seven.”

The other turned.

“The roll, it was a seven. The demogorgon, it got me.”

“Oh.”

“See you tomorrow!”

As Will biked away, a flicker of the ceiling light buzzed in the garage.