#look it’s not like i’m always thinking they’re paul and emma when they’re in a scene together as other characters

[nogooddeetz]

[jon as batshit crazy gary carrying lauren as linda who literally just died off stage in black friday]

me: paul pick emma up :)

[hyuneskkami]

hiii idk if you’re still accepting these for the event… butttt can i please have if you seek amy??

i am emma, i’m 5’4, autistic and adhd, i have short natural blonde curly hair but have it dyed red with brown over it so it’s kinda golden-y red now, i’m a reader, writer, and barista, i love movies, i am a massive swiftie, i love the beach and live in a very warm and sunny place. i wear a lottt of pink, and always wear converse. percy jackson is my favourite thing in the entire universe. i love doing things in the water, swimming, kayaking, and the like. i’m very sarcastic, love little kids, and want to be a stay at home mum more than anything.

thank you!!

⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖

EMERCY ⭑.ᐟ

⟢ “i’m a million dollar baby, don’t at me!”

my brain can not physically see you with anyone other than percy mf jackson.

there’s a pretty good height difference (5’4–6’1) between you guys, but that just makes your hugs more cozier if ykwim

you guys had the childhood enemies to best friends to lovers trope written down from the start!! you probably had a silly fight as kids, but grew closer with time, and became best friends till you were around 11-12 years old

he loves yapping to you about anything and everything, and he loves hearing you yap as well <3 adhd-iac x adhd-iac trope goes so hard with yall!

you probably definitely have tried out your hair dye colours on his hair (he ASKED for it, literally)

you don’t stay at chb all year around, but percy does, so, whenever percy’s out on a quest, he always makes sure to drop by the cafe you work at!

he loves listening to you talk about the books you read, or the novel you’re currently writing btw

you’ve gone to the inside out movies with him, and to a taylor concert right after that <3

also!! cabin 3 kid x beach-lover kid is so perfect?? you’ve had multiple underwater kisses, and collected so many shells + made matching necklaces out of them (he added some shells you collected to his chb necklace)

you’ve both done every water-related activity ever! swimming, snorkelling, deep sea diving, kayaking, speed boating, talking to cute fishies and jellyfishes, you name it!

he’s always loved your dressing style, especially your converse (he thinks they’re very practical to run at a moment’s notice from monsters) + he thinks you look really cute fighting monsters in pink clothes. idk. it’s just a thing.

also, whenever you go over to his house, and sally & paul go out on a date, you both take care of estelle; it’s so so so cute and you always end up with major baby fever!

once, when you both took estelle with you to the grocery store, someone had told you ‘your baby is SO cute!’ and gushed over her in your arms, while percy replied with a simple ‘thanks’, making you blush

you guys definitely plan on having kids in the future!

(as a cabin 3 kid, I 101% approved of yall since the beginning okay)

bonus: you and I hang out more than you hang out with him 🫶

taglist for event — @serendipitous-girl @mqstermindswift @anyas-shitposting69 @skeelly @urmomabby

@sunnitheapollokid @gentlehue @gossip-girl-co @cinemaconrad @mqshido

@flowers-for-em @aezuria @thetunnelunderoceanboulevard @cherigall @percabethluvr

@pjoverseluvr @maybxlle @sweetnnaivete @riordanness @starlitszn

@metyouattherighttime @a-beautiful-fool @sequinsnstars @ssparksflyy @fayvpor

@iheartgirlzn @nomournersnofunerals @over-the-ocean-call @seaglass-and-string @cer3lia

@lara20aral @strawberryapologist @xoxochb @auroraofthesun1 @sophiesonlinediary

@solangelotus @brodieland @s1utlvr @imasimpdealwithit @waitingonher

@nqds @skyrigel @daydream-of-a-wallflower @hermidastouch @catastrxblues

@moon-drop18 @d4rkdi0rrr @hopelesslyromantic-shark @hope92100 @fizzywashere87

event masterlist

kozumesphone © 2024 | don’t repost my works onto other platforms, or edit and post them even on tumblr, without asking me first • don’t steal my works, steal my heart instead • reblogs and comments are more than appreciated !

[motownfiction]

caught up in a summer shower

cw: this vignette features an ever-so-slightly explicit sexual encounter between two consenting adults, aged 26 and 33. by normal human adult standards, it is laughably tame, but because it is different than most of the sexually charged material on this blog, all of that stuff is under a cut.

Emma sits on her bed, watching the hot July rain outside her window. Anything to keep from feeling. Unfortunately, it seems impossible to erase all feelings when it comes to Paul. It’s like she doesn’t even think about him anymore. Just feels about him. Especially after this morning. This morning, which she hopes she won’t come to regret.

They woke up in bed together, and Paul was–as always–too stressed about his work. The department let him pick up a summer section of Introduction to Film Studies, a rare thing for a doctoral student, and his students are … apathetic. Last week, they watched Yojimbo, and half the kids had the nerve to call it boring. He’s been distressed ever since.

“I’m not boring,” Paul said. “They’re boring.”

“They aren’t calling you boring,” Emma said. “They’re calling Kurosawa boring.”

“You think they know the difference? Paul picks the movies. Paul picks Kurosawa. Kids think Kurosawa is boring. Ergo, Paul is boring. It’s Introduction to Philosophy.”

“Which they’re also not paying attention in.”

Paul sighed.

“I just don’t want them to look at me like I’m Death,” he said. “The Ingmar Bergman version.”

“They could never think of you that way. Ingmar Bergman is boring.”

Paul rolled his eyes.

“You’re hilarious,” he said. “Is that why I keep you around?”

“Well, that, and I swallow.”

He laughed, climbed back onto the bed, and kissed her.

“You’re terrific,” he said.

“So are you,” Emma said. “Paul?”

“Emma.”

“I love you.”

Paul froze. Backed away. Turned bright pink. And left Emma’s apartment as soon as he could find his keys.

She’s not really sure what to do with that. Did they break up? No, they couldn’t have broken up. Paul doesn’t like confrontation, but he’s not an asshole. She knew telling him she loved him, in particular, would be a risk, anyway. He’s a lovely guy, but he has no romantic experience. A few makeouts, a few hookups, but no serious romance to his name. He just never figured he had time. If he wanted to be the best he could, then he needed to work around the clock. Sometimes, Emma thinks the only reason they’re together is because they work in the same field, in the same department, at the same time. It’s easy to build a schedule around her.

And in a way, she can relate. She knows that the biggest reason boys didn’t like her in high school (and college) was because she was focused. She had a goal. Even if they wanted to flirt with her, they weren’t part of the plan. But when she liked someone … when she wanted to make out, fuck, something … she made time for it. Paul’s never been like that. Romance, sex … it’s all blurry for him. He’s focused, too.

She’s resting her head against the window, listening to “Rain on the Roof,” and her phone rings. She jumps. Paul. Should she answer? Why even ask?

“Paul?”

“Hey,” he says. “I’m outside. It’s really wet out here. Can you buzz me up?”

Emma’s heart tightens. Maybe he’s here to break up with her. Let her down easy. Love might be good enough for her, but it’s not good enough for him. It’s a distraction, and he just can’t afford that on his way to a tenure-track job. For that matter, she shouldn’t focus on love, either. Doesn’t she have the same goal? Isn’t that what brought them together? Isn’t that what they should have known would tear them apart?

She realizes she’s putting words in Paul’s mouth as she buzzes him up. Seconds later, he’s in her living room, dripping rain water on the wooden floors, eyes wide and terrified behind blue frames. His mouth is all bunched up in one corner. Is he shaking?

“Look,” she starts, but he doesn’t let her finish–not yet, and not this way.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

Emma snorts.

“Of course you are,” she says. “You know, I should have known. You play with Legos. You know who else played with Legos? My tenth-grade crush. I told him I was really into him, and he apologized. You’re all the same.”

“Emma, no, that’s … I’m sorry I freaked out. And I’m sorry I didn’t say it back.”

Emma frowns, but she’s not unwilling to hear him out.

“I’m listening.”

“Look, you know this is new for me. I know it’s less new for you, but for me … you’re the first woman I’ve ever … I never thought I could slow down before. And I guess now I know I can’t.”

The tears prick her eyes, and before long, they’re falling. But Paul rushes up to her, embraces her. He fucked up again.

“I need to get better at these speeches,” he says.

“What the fuck are you trying to say?” Emma asks.

“I’m trying to say that I always thought romance meant slowing down for someone. And maybe that would have been the case if I’d … with somebody else. But not with you. You know what this is like. And with you … I work better. I’m smarter. I’m … I’m with you, and I’m faster. I don’t know how that happened, but I’m so … happy … that it did.”

Emma tries not to grin.

“And I want to be with you,” Paul continues. “For as long as you want me. I’m here until you get tired of me.”

“What if you get tired of me first?”

“Won’t happen.”

She’s waiting. He can tell.

“I’m not … I don’t know if I can say that yet,” he says. “It’s not you. It’s … I have a hard time with saying it in general. Even to my family, and I … you know.”

“I do.”

“But can you … can you say it again?”

Emma bites her lip and slowly inches toward Paul. Maybe in another life, she would have thought he didn’t deserve this. But there’s a hot July rain outside, this man’s white undershirt has turned clear as it clings to his thick chest hair, and she thinks she might die if she doesn’t feel him inside her in the next ten minutes.

She wraps herself around him, kisses him like he’s made out of hard candy, and whispers.

“I love you.”

She kisses down his shoulders, his chest, his stomach … before she stops. She feels how desperate he is, how eager. It makes her giggle.

“There you are,” she says. “Can I let you out?”

“Not yet,” he says, voice thick and hoarse. “I want you first.”

He pulls her over to the couch, lies her on her back, and helps her out of her little shorts. He knows what to do by now. It’s like he’s speaking right into her. She runs her hands through his reddish hair and pulls him close. Maybe none of these strokes spell out I and love and you, but she knows that’s what he means.

“I love you,” she says.

“Because I’m doing exactly what you want?” he asks, head still between her thighs.

“Because I do.”

Clearly, it’s a satisfactory answer, because he’s doing it even better. When she sighs, it’s not forced, not performative, not like she’s trying to get it over with like she has with other guys. This is not another guy. This is a man she loves. This is a place where she feels safe, even here, even at her most vulnerable.

“I LOVE YOU!”

She’s panting now, and he’s laughing. There’s a lot more where that came from, all puns intended and celebrated. She kisses down his stomach again, murmuring her love into every gasp and pause. Maybe she’ll love him forever.

Fuck, she hopes she does.

[shxwstxpper]

Yap yap yap. That's all you do pokey

…

REVISED REPRISE

(Our story starts before KAI met PAUL and EMMA, in fact, before she even went to Hatchetfield. Our story starts in the year 2018, in the heart of the sprawling city of Unington, on a quiet and peaceful road called Almond Street. The sun shines down upon the street, the metal accents of the various art deco style buildings glimmering in the sun’s rays. The jazzy, upbeat tones of Unington-style swing music plays down the street, the performers filled with laughter and joy, their hats and instrument cases filled to the brim with tips. In the middle of Almond Street lies an enormous, lively animation studio, the studio’s logo plastered in the center, the letters “JOEY DREW STUDIOS” shining in bright gold. Passersby look up to a window on the second floor, hoping to possibly get a glimpse of Unington’s little darlin’. Eventually, the curtains pull open, and a teal haired girl in a white nightgown smiles brightly towards her city, leaning out the window and extending her arm out in an exaggerated wave.)

[NOTE: Kai’s twang is always heavy when in Unington.]

KAI (singsong): Goo-oo-ood morning, Uningto-

(She shrieks and ducks down as a shoe gets thrown at her. She pops back up, laughing triumphantly, holding said shoe up triumphantly.)

KAI (overconfident): Ha! You thought you could silence me, mistah’?! Well, think again! I, Kai-Kennedy-Verlice-O’Hara-Salvato-Drew, will never be silence- !

(KAI is cut off as the other shoe is thrown at her, hitting her square in the face, and she’s knocked over. The window besides her opens, revealing a boy with dark skin and bright, almost neon pink hair. He has a smug, teasing smile on his face.)

MITSU (amused): They get’cha with the other shoe, K?

(KAI pops back up, cheeks puffed up in anger, shoe lodged in her hair, a bright red mark on her face where it hit her. She sighs and slumps over sadly.)

KAI (depressed): Yeah.

(MITSU laughs at her, and KAI’s cheeks puff up. They shut their windows, and various sound effects can be heard from the building [SFX: Squish, Stretch, Fwip, Crash, Honk, Cat Yowls, etc. Classic cartoony sounds effects]. KAI and MITSU emerge from the studio, fully dressed and ready, a suitcase by KAI’s side. MITSU hooks an arm around KAI’s shoulder.)

MITSU: So, today’s the day, huh?

KAI: Tha-a-at’s right! It’s finally time for (announcer voice) Kai Drew’s First Official Tour (2018)! 

(KAI pulls a trumpet out of her hair and plays it [SFX: Royal Fanfare]. MITSU laughs.)

MITSU: And the last time you were out of Unington was…?

KAI: You know the answer.

MITSU: Never?

KAI: Ding-ding-ding! Host, tell him what he’s won!

(KAI appears on the other side of him, in a suit akin to a game show host, gesturing to a light up billboard with her likeness plastered on it.)

KAI (host voice): You win a lifelong best friend, A.K.A. your very own silly lil’ gal pal!

(MITSU chuckles and ruffles her hair, KAI back in her usual outfit.)

KAI (annoyed): Ayy, watch the hair!

MITSU: Nah. Good luck out there-

(MITSU is cut off by 3 voices.)

YASH/HANA/KOU (weepy): KAIIII!

(KAI gets bombarded by her 3 friends, a girl with pinkish hair with a turquoise dip dye, a boy with a cap atop a messy black bowl cut, and another boy with fiery orange hair. They’re all crying, hugging KAI tightly.)

YASH (weepy): DON’T GOOO!

HANA (weepy): I’M NOT READY!

(KOU makes some upset vocalizations.)

[NOTE: This, along with HANA and YASH’s lines are layered atop one another.]

(A girl in monochrome greyscale with glasses and cat ear headphones comes out, holding the bridge of her nose.)

KEL: Sorry, K. I tried to stop ‘em.

KAI: Ah, it’s alright, Kelsey.

(KAI giggles as she scoops up her three taller friends with ease, setting them upright.)

KAI: Gang, we’ve been talking about this ever since…well, forever!

YASH (weepy): Why d’ya have to go alone, though????

KAI: Cause I’m 17??? Practically an adult!

YASH (weepy): But-

KAI: No buts! 

(HANA rests his chin atop her head.)

HANA: Ah…I’ll miss ya. (cheesy, romantic, nonserious) Your presence, your hair, your face, your laugh-

KAI (teasing): Th’ fact that I’m the only one in th’ studio who knows how t’ cook?

HANA: That too!

KOU: PLEASE DON’T LEAVE US KAI WE’RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-

KAI: Relaaax! Peggy said she’ll cook for you guys!

KOU: …Free of charge, right?

KAI: Eh…

KOU (panicked): Free of charge, right?!

KAI: Say, what time does m’ boat leave?

KOU: KAI-

KEL: It leaves…oh, real soon! We probably should start heading to the docks.

BENDY/MONIKA: Allow us!

(KAI’s grin widens as she whips around to see her parents, a woman with strawberry blonde hair and green eyes, and a cartoonish inky demon, grins plastered on their faces.)

KAI: Parentals!

(BENDY ruffles her hair and kisses her forehead.)

BENDY: Hey there, babydoll.

MITSU: Hey, why does he get to ruffle your hair?

KAI: He’s got dad privileges!

BENDY: Yeah, Mitsu, I’ve got dad privileges!

(KAI and BENDY grin. The rest of the group shudders.)

YASH: Gods…you two are practically the same person.

KAI/BENDY: Wha-a-at? No way! We’re different!

(The father-daughter duo stares at one another. They then snap and point in sync as they speak.)

KAI/BENDY: Lamppost! Fishsticks! Turtleneck!

(They huff and turn away, before snapping back towards each other, pointing confidently.)

KAI/BENDY: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?!

(The two groan, KAI throwing her hands up in defeat, and her father holding his head in his hands. HANA pats her shoulder.)

HANA: Sorry, K. You’re becoming your father, if you haven’t already.

KAI: Aw, fiddlesticks.

KEL: It’s like that one thing! “Corporate wants you to find the difference between these two pictures-”

ALL (except BENDY and KAI): “-They’re the same picture!”

(ALL laugh.)

MONIKA: Well, at least Kai’s cute.

BENDY (miffed): Ay, wuzzat s’posed to mean?!

MONIKA (annoyed): Oh, you know what that means. You’ve got a face only a mother would love! Oh, wait, you don’t have a mom!

BENDY (annoyed): Well, at least my nonexistent mother is better than you!

MONIKA (annoyed): Oh, you little…

BENDY (annoyed): Why I oughta’…

(KAI snorts. BENDY and MONIKA freeze before wrapping around each other and giggles nervously.)

MONIKA (lying): I mean…I love you so much!! 

BENDY (lying): Yep! Mhm! Definitely!

(The two laugh nervously. KAI rolls her eyes, a wide grin on her face.)

KAI (sarcastically): Sure ya do. 

(She turns away to talk to her friends. Behind her, her parents wipe their brows, sighing with relief. They then pull away, their faces twisted with disgust. They swat at each other, akin to kindergarteners in a fight. After a moment, KAI turns back around. Her parents quickly stop, replacing their scowls with wide smiles.)

KAI: Ready to get this show on the road?

MONIKA: Yep!

BENDY: You betcha!

(He grins, popping two fingers into his mouth and blowing, a whistle piercing the air. Soon after, a limousine pulls up, to which KAI jumps in surprise, staring at the car in awe.)

KAI: Woah-h-h, what’s with the limo?

BENDY: Ah, felt like I should treat ya on your last day here.

KAI: Oh, please, all of this for lil’ ol’ me? I don’ need all this!

BENDY (teasingly): Kid, I’ve known you long enough to know that you want that limo.

KAI (clearly lying): Wha-a-at? Me-e-e? No-o-o! I seriously don’t need all of this! Just the fact y’all are here for me is enough to make my day fine an’ dandy, peachy keen!

BENDY (teasingly): Oookay then, I’ll just tell him to go on ba-

(KAI grabs him by the shoulders with a vice grip, bringing him to her eye level.)

KAI (deathly serious): I want that limo, dad.

BENDY (amused): Well then, go and get in, stupid!

KAI: Aye-aye, Cap’n!

(He laughs and ruffles her hair. She fixes her hair, scampering into the car with the rest of her family and friends. Soon after, the group gets street that houses the docks. KAI stumbles out, KEL and YASH supporting her on both sides, HANA and KOU close behind, MITSU rolling her suitcase for her. Her parents lag farther behind, murmuring arguments.)

KAI (sickly): I should…should not have done that.

KEL: No duh! It was a two liter soda bottle! 

YASH: And you chugged it in less than a minute!

KAI (sickly): Ya gotta admit, though…I looked pretty darn cool while doin’ it!

YASH: Yeah ya did!

KEL: YASH!

YASH: What?! You have to admit, it’s kind of really super awesome.

KEL: …itdidkindalookcool-

KAI (sickly): Point for Kai!

KEL: I’m sorry, who’s about to puke from drinking too much soda too fast?

KAI (sickly): Hey, it’s worth it. I’ve got a belly full a’ soda-pop. If I ralph, I ralph. I’m choosing to take it as a medal of honor.

KEL: Sometimes I wonder how we’re friends.

KAI (sickly): Cause my charismatic and charming demeanor has swept ya off your feet?

KEL: That, or you make me laugh enough to convince me to stick around.

HANA: Just puke on the boat, Kai! Ain’t nobody wanna see you barf.

(WALLY FRANKS pokes his head out of the driver’s window.)

WALLY: DON’T YOU DARE! I CLEAN THAT BOAT! PUKE OFF THE SIDES, KID!

KAI (sickly): Gotcha, Uncle Wally!

(The group approaches the docks, the waves crashing into the auburn planks. A large group of Unington citizens surround the docks, some with happy smiles, others teary. A gaggle of them hold signs that say “HAVE A GRAND OLD TIME OUT THERE!” “WE’LL MISS YOU!” “HAVE A STELLAR TOUR!” “BREAK A LEG!” And the like. KAI stands free of her friends. She takes her suitcase, and begins to walk, waving to the townsfolk as she walks. Her friends and family smile and take their spots at the front of the crowd.)

UNINGTON CITIZEN #1: G’bye, Kai! Have fun on tour! 

KAI: Thank you! I will!

UNINGTON CITIZEN #2: See ya, Kai! We’ll keep a seat open for ya at Peggy’s!

KAI: Ooh, thank y’ kindly! I’ll definitely be craving a slice of Unington while I’m out there!

UNINGTON CITIZEN #3: HAVE MY BABIES, KAI-

KAI: I AM NOT DOING THAT!!!

(While KAI makes an “I’m watching you gesture” towards the direction of UNINGTON CITIZEN #3, she bumps into someone. She turns and then she smiles wide.)

KAI: Hey, Bean.

(Their older (unofficial) sibling, BEAN SPROUT stands there, a smile on their face. The rabbit hybrid that acts as mayor over Unington’s sister town, Auburn, nods towards KAI.)

BEAN: Sup, Kai.

KAI: Well, this is it! Today’s the day!

BEAN: That it is. Now, remember:

(BEAN grabs KAI’s shoulder.)

BEAN: If a stranger offers you drugs, take them. 

KAI (sarcastic): Har-har. Very funny.

BEAN: Yep. Smoke that weed like I know you have-

(KAI’s face fills with fear as she quickly cuts BEAN off.)

[NOTE: BEAN and KAI’s dialogue are layered over one another.]

KAI (nervous): HAHAHAHAHA VERY FUNNY BEAN- KIDS, DON’T DO UNDERAGE DRUGS!!! I DON’T SUPPORT THAT!!

BEAN: I’M NOT JOKING!!! KIDS, DO UNDERAGE DRUGS!!! IT MAKES YOU COOL!!! KAI SUPPORTS IT!! SHE SMOKED WEED WHEN SHE WAS FIFTE-

(KAI clamps a hand over BEAN’s mouth, her cheeks puffed up. BEAN laughs before pulling KAI’s hand off their mouth.)

BEAN: In all seriousness, I’m gonna miss you. You’re gonna do great. I’ve seen your shows here, and they’re awesome. You’re awesome. You’re gonna kill it. 

(BEAN gives KAI a side hug.)

BEAN: Love ya, stinker. See you soon.

KAI: Right back at’cha.

BEAN: One more thing before I go.

(BEAN reaches into their pocket and pulls out a gift box. KAI studies it curiously before unwrapping it and pulling out the object inside. It’s a black, fluffy, almost oversized hoodie. KAI stares at the coat, feeling the almost blanket-like texture.)

BEAN: The hood’s got rabbit ears, so it’ll be like a piece of you is always with me.

(KAI pulls it over her outfit. The dark hoodie contrasts the bright shades of pink, yellow, teal, blue, and purple present throughout the rest of her outfit, and yet, it’s like it was made for her. KAI smiles, wrapping the hoodie around her tightly.)

KAI: I love it. It feels like me. Thanks, Bean. Love ya.

BEAN: Love you too, see ya.

(BEAN leaves. KAI takes that as her cue to start leaving, too. She grabs her suitcase, pulling it alongside her. She gets to the ramp leading up to the deck. She stops. Her father looks towards her worriedly. He breaks from the crowd, heading towards KAI. He keeps a safe distance, not wanting to freak out or overstimulate his kid.)

BENDY: Kai? Kiddo, you alright?

(KAI turns, a smile on her face, yet tears pricking the corners of her eyes. She sniffs, wiping her eyes.)

KAI (sappy): Aw, gee, I don’t mean to get all weepy m’ last day here, but, I’s gots t’ admit…’M a little scared to go!

(BENDY sighs, a knowing look on his face. He kneels down to KAI’s eye level. She looks at him with a face that says “Seriously?” He nods, smiling back to say “This is what you’re gettin’, no buts about it.” He places a hand on KAI’s shoulder.)

BENDY: Kid, you’re probably always gonna be scared to go. Anybody in your position would. You’ve never left town, and now you are, and you wanna do it by yourself! But, you can’t let fear hold you back. Sure, sometimes it gives you a good sense of what’s safe and what’s not, but other times? It keeps you from taking a leap of faith. I’m not gonna make th’ choice for ya, you have to decide for yourself: are y’ lettin’ fear hold y’ back, or are y’ keeping yourself safe?

(KAI looks conflicted. He sighs and tilts her chin up.)

BENDY: I ain’t gonna be mad either way. But, I’s gots t’ say it: you’re an amazing performer, kiddo. You deserve to show it off outside of Unington. I just know you’ll shine bright wherever you go. You could do anything, kid, and I’d be runnin’ down the street, clanging some cymbals together, shouting that you were my pride and joy. 

(Her mother squats down beside the duo.)

MONIKA: But, if it doesn’t work out, you’ll always be able to come home to me. 

BENDY: Ahem?

MONIKA: And your dad, I guess. 

BENDY: Yep. We may not like each other all too much, but we love you more than anything. We’d move Heaven and Earth for you, kid.

MONIKA: You’ll always have us, Kai. I promise.

BENDY: We promise.

(KAI smiles. KEL goes over and taps her shoulder. KAI turns, blinking curiously.)

KEL: As your best friend and talent agent, I say do it. We’ve all seen what you can do. That talent…it deserves to be on a stage in every city. You’re amazing, K. You’ve just gotta see it for yourself.

(She pulls KAI in for a hug, to which KAI returns.)

KEL: I’m happy to call myself your friend. I’m so happy you waltzed into my life. I’ve never looked back. I want- no, I need you to bring that joy to everyone else. So, please, Kai, go. Or else I’m gonna throw you over my shoulder and stuff you on that boat myself.

(KAI laughs. The rest of her friend group arrives.)

YASH: Woah, hey, I didn’t know we were doing goodbye speeches! Uh- you’re the best friend I’ve ever had, I love you so much-

HANA: Me first!

YASH (angry): Huh- whu- Whaddya mean?!

HANA: Cause- y’know. Alphabetical order.

YASH: Oh, that’s complete baloney! 

KAI: Some might even say malarkey. 

KEL: Kai, you’re the only person who still uses malarkey unironically.

KAI: And that, my friend, is malarkey. Complete and utter malarkey.

KOU: Wait, if we’re going alphabetically, and Kel just went, wouldn’t I be next? Because I also have a K name.

BENDY: Well, if we were s’posed to go alphabetically, we already screwed up, because Monika went right after me.

MONIKA: I didn’t realize this was supposed to be an ordered thing, I thought we were just quickly hyping Kai up because she was being too chicken to go?

KAI (offended): Hey!

MONIKA: What?! That’s what happened!

KAI (offended): I know! I’m offended because it’s true!

MITSU: Wait, yeah! And we skipped H, so the order would be Kou, Me, Yash, and then Hana.

HANA: …Kai, what was that word again?

KAI: Malarkey?

HANA: Yeah, that’s what this is. Malarkey. Complete and utter malarkey.

(KAI laughs, tearing up. She stares at her friends and family.)

KAI (sappy): I think y’all are the thing ‘m gonna miss most about Unington. I love you idiots all so much, more than words could ever express. I’m so happy I get to call y’all m’ family. I wouldn’t change that for the world. Not by a long shot.

(Her friends and family smile back, except for YASH, who’s tearing up.)

YASH: Kai-i-i!

(She throws herself around KAI and starts bawling. KAI laughs, hugging back. Soon after, the rest of the group joins in, KAI in the middle of a giant group hug. She smiles, closing her eyes and enjoying the moment. After a moment, KAI pats them, signaling them to let go. Everyone does, except for MITSU.)

KAI: Uh…Mitsu?

MITSU (shaky): Shh, let me have this.

(KAI notices his eyes.)

KAI: …Are you crying?

MITSU (weepy): Yes, now shut up. Don’t tell anyone. Or do. They’ll never believe you anyways.

(KAI chuckles lightly.)

KAI: Alright.

(A moment passes before he lets go, wiping his eyes and rejoining the group. KAI smiles at them. She straightens up and grabs her suitcase.)

KAI: Welp, that’s all, folks! I’ll be off now.

(KAI waves. They all wave back, smiling, some of them teary. YASH, however, is bawling loudly, KEL holding her and rubbing her back. KAI turns away, walking back towards the ramp. She hesitates and closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. She raises her foot.)

KAI (mumbled): Alright, Drewski, let’s do this.

(She starts lowering her foot, until a hand lands on her shoulder. KAI opens her eyes, the sky and city around her seeming to have gained more of a blue hue. She turns to look at the person who stopped her. She smiles at the familiar face. Yet, a small itch at the bottom of her gut can’t help but feel like she’s never seen it before.)

POWELL: Leaving so soon? And without saying goodbye? Ouch, Kai. That hurts.

(KAI laughs cheerfully, not out of her free will, but as if someone wrote it to happen, like a character in a book. Her confusion at the familiar voice that she can’t quite place is masked when her mouth moves on its own.)

KAI: Hey, Po.

(She didn’t know how she knew the name POWELL KERIAN OTHO, but she did. She knew a lot about him actually, despite the fact she was sure this was the first time she’d ever seen him before. She knew he was originally from Hatchetfield, but he moved to Unington in his twenties to become a vocal coach and open a small music shop on Almond Street. But that couldn’t be true, could it? She knew everyone in Unington. She had made it her goal to try and connect with everyone in her hometown. She knew people who lived on the outskirts of town, and she sure as hell was close with everyone on Almond Street. You couldn’t make it even a mile down Almond Street before meeting someone who knew KAI and had some wacky story about her. His presence evoked memories she didn’t even know she had, ones that contradicted prior events. She remembered him being her vocal coach, along with teaching her piano and guitar. However, she knew that she learned all of that from her family within the studio, particularly from UNCLE SAMMY- er- SAMUEL LAWRENCE, the studio’s in-house composer. She remembered that he got her a few starting gigs, and he helped manage her career, like an agent. But that was wrong, too. Her father got her into show business, he was the one who got her first few starting gigs. As for the agent thing, that couldn’t be true. KEL was her agent and manager, planning out all her shows, along with some help from the family. She specifically remembered not wanting to go to someone outside of the family, for fear of KAI being exploited. This man, to her, was both familiar and a complete stranger.)

POWELL: Hi, Kai. Tour day, hm?

KAI (nervous): Yep! Headin’ on that boat and out into the big ol’ world!

POWELL: Cold feet?

KAI (defeated): E-yup.

(He chuckles and ruffles her hair.  KAI didn’t argue. He had the right. She knew. Somehow, she knew.)

POWELL: You have a right to be afraid. Hatchetfield is…a lot.

KAI: More than Unington?

POWELL: Well, no, but it’s different. And I know you. Not the biggest fan of anything different.

KAI: Hah, youse’ would be right. As always.

(POWELL smiles and wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side.)

POWELL: So, how about we wait until you’re comfortable? You can hang out with me and the rest of the gang until then.

(KAI smiles and presses her face into his side.)

KAI: I’d like that. I’d like that very much.

(POWELL smiles and begins to walk KAI home. The two chitter and laugh as they walk home, the sun beginning to set for some reason? KAI was confused by that detail, she was sure it was way earlier. The peace is interrupted by loud beeping, which wakes KAI up from her dreams. She stretches, yawning and sitting up. She pulls herself out of bed, slipping her feet into some house slippers someone lovingly placed by her bedside. She moves through her new bedroom, heading to the window. She peeks through the blinds.)

[NOTE: KAI’s accent is far less prominent in Hatchetfield, only hints of it being heard. Her voice is also quieter, a lot of the pep and cheer sucked from it.]

KAI (groggy): Good morning, Hatchetfield.

(She watches the cars move through the street in the present day, the passersby quickly moving through the streets, not sparing her a second glance. The sunbeams are blocked by gray-white clouds that are scattered around the sky, the slats of light shining on the city’s semi-modern architecture. KAI scans the street for any performers, to which she finds none. She sighs and grabs a brush, pulling it through her wild, tangled teal locks. She leaves her room, heading to the common area. She finds PAUL MATTHEWS getting ready, the morning Hatchetfield News playing on the television. KAI smiles.)

KAI: Hey, dad.

(PAUL looks over and smiles back.)

PAUL: Hi, Kai.

(He looks down, struggling to tie his tie. KAI sighs and sets down her brush.)

KAI: Here.

(She heads over to her father and takes his tie in her hands. Her hands flit around quickly, tying the fabric into a neat knot that’s just as tight as it needs to be to stay in place while not choking PAUL.)

KAI: There ya go.

PAUL: How are you so good at this? I mean, I’m decent, but you do it like it’s your job.

KAI: Well, back home in Unington, it was part of my job. I wore suits during my shows a lot of the time, so tying a tie that stuck through wacko dancing and didn’t mess with my windpipe was important. Also, I had to go to formal events sometimes, and modern formal dresses aren’t really my forte, so I went in a suit sometimes. If ya ever need to get all dressed up in a suit, I’m your gal!

(PAUL smiles and ruffles her hair. KAI swats his hand away with a playful glare and grabs her brush, running it through her hair. KAI looks around the room and blinks, noticing something’s missing.)

KAI: Where’s Momma? 

PAUL: Oh, Emma? 

KAI: Mhm, didn’t she stay over after movie night?

PAUL: Yeah, but she left earlier this morning. Early shift at Beanie’s.

KAI: Oh-h-h, alright.

PAUL (lovestruck): I love that woman.

(KAI makes a face, sticking her tongue out in disgust.)

KAI: Ew. Dad. Gross. Nobody wants to hear about that.

(PAUL smirks.)

PAUL (teasingly):  Yeah, I just wanna give ‘er a big ol’ kiss.

(KAI groans and covers her ears.)

KAI: Ew ew ew ew ew ew!

PAUL (teasingly): Yep, just wanna give her a big ol’ smooch, just like this!

(PAUL scoops up KAI by the waist, planting a few kisses on her cheek. KAI laughs and wriggles around in his grip.)

KAI (laughing): Dad! Dad! Stop- stop-!

PAUL: Shh, let me love you.

KAI (laughing): No-o-o!

(PAUL keeps her in his grip for a moment longer.)

PAUL: Fine, only cause I have work soon.

(PAUL sets her down, planting a kiss on her forehead. KAI sticks her tongue out. He smiles and walks to the kitchen to make himself some toast.)

KAI: Y’know, speaking of last night, I was sure I fell asleep on the couch.

PAUL: Oh, yeah, you did.

KAI (teasingly): Then, pray tell, why, oh, why did I wake up in my bed on this fine morning?

(PAUL freezes.)

KAI (teasingly): Got something you’d like to tell the crowd, pops?

PAUL: …Sleeping on the couch is bad for your back. I just…didn’t want you to have to deal with that.

KAI (teasingly): Uh-huh. And the house slippers?

PAUL (defensively): The floor is cold in the morning!

(KAI laughs.)

KAI: Gods, you are just like this one friend I had back home! He’d never admit when he was being nice to me. It was always: “I just don’t want you to die because then these guys would get all weepy, and I don’t want to deal with that.” Love that guy.

(KAI smiles, letting the nostalgia wash over her. PAUL smiles at her.)

PAUL: …Y’know, it’s nice hearing you talk about your hometown. Especially considering I don’t know much about where you’re from.

KAI: Whaddya mean? You know where I’m from. Unington. I showed you pictures.

PAUL: You showed me pictures of the town, Kai.

KAI: Well, yeah. You said you wanted to see pictures from back home.

PAUL: I didn’t mean the town.

KAI: Huh?

(PAUL sighs.)

PAUL: I meant that I wanted to see pictures of you.

KAI: …I’m so confused.

PAUL: Kai, I…It feels like I don’t know you.

KAI (offended): Okay, that’s completely bogus! I talk to you and Momma all the time!

PAUL: About what you’re doing now. You never talk about who you were in Unington. All I know is that you lived there, you’re a singer, you were adopted, and you have five friends: Kristen, Kevin, Henry, Mike, and Yasmine.

KAI: Kel, Kou, Hana, Mitsu, and Yash.

PAUL: See! You talk about them so little, I don’t even know their names!

KAI: I- okay- but-

PAUL: I just wanna know you, Kai.

(KAI sighs.)

KAI: …I don’t wanna talk about the past, okay? It’s just- things…happened. Things that I don’t wanna think about. I’m- it doesn’t matter who I was then. It matters who I am now. And I like who I am now. Okay?

(PAUL nods. His eyes tell a different story.)

PAUL: …Okay.

(KAI nods.)

KAI: Thank you.

PAUL: You’re welcome.

(KAI smiles and plants a kiss on his cheek.)

KAI: Have a good day at work. Love you.

PAUL: Love you too, kiddo.

(He plants a kiss on her forehead before grabbing his coat and briefcase and heading out the door. KAI makes herself a bowl of cereal, pouring the milk in. The artificial blue dye in the cereal starts to seep out into the liquid, causing the white substance to gain a hazy blue color, darker swirls of blue gathering near the cereal. KAI stares at the bowl with discomfort before washing it down the sink.)

KAI (uncomfortable): …Wasn’t hungry, anyways.

(KAI instead finishes getting ready, dressing herself. She slips on her shoes and jacket before heading out the door. She walks down the stairs of the apartment building and down a couple of blocks into Beanie’s. The bell at the door jingles as she enters, heading up to the counter. She leans on the counter, cheek in hand. EMMA PERKINS turns, looking at the girl.)

EMMA: Oh, hey, kiddo. 

KAI (sullen): Hey, momma.

EMMA: What’s up with you? You seem off.

KAI (sullen): I had that weird dream again.

EMMA: The one where you get lost in a store and then suddenly get enlisted into the FBI?

KAI (sullen): No, the one where I’m leaving Unington for the tour like I remember, and then that weird dream dude stops me from going.

EMMA: Oh, that one! Yeah, that’s weird.

KAI: It’s like someone’s writing some weird self insert fanfic with my life!

EMMA: …Kai, I don’t know half of the words you just said.

KAI: …It’s like someone’s trying to force their way into my life?

EMMA: Oh, yeah, that makes more sense.

(EMMA sets a coffee cup down in front of KAI, the words “For: My favorite customer” scrawled onto the side. Beside the writing, there’s a small smiley face drawn onto the cup. KAI smiles.)

KAI: Anything caramel?

EMMA: And make it extra.

KAI: Thanks, Momma.

EMMA: No problem.

(KAI begins to sip on her coffee.)

EMMA: …Y’know, maybe me and your dad could help you with these weird memory dreams if you, maybe, talked about your life in Unington? 

(KAI groans.)

KAI: No, not you too! Dad already tried this today!

EMMA: Well, I don’t blame him. We both wanna know what your life was like back there.

KAI: I just- I don’t wanna talk about the past, okay? I wanna focus on my life now.

EMMA: But what happened back then made you who you are. We wanna know what shaped you!

(KAI groans and holds her head in her hands. EMMA sighs and pets her hair.)

EMMA: We’re not gonna force you. But it would be nice to know.

KAI: …Okay.

(KAI grabs her coffee.)

KAI: I’ll stop holding up your line now.

EMMA: Not like I cared.

KAI: Hah. See you at dinner?

EMMA: I’ll be there.

(KAI smiles and starts to leave.)

EMMA: Forgetting something?

(KAI blinks, her eyes darting around the room. She perks up and snaps her fingers. She leans over the counter and gives EMMA a kiss on the cheek before leaving.)

EMMA (laughing): No! Pay your bill!

(KAI isn’t paying attention. She simply smiles and leaves. EMMA chuckles and shakes her head.)

EMMA (under her breath): God, who raised you?

(ZOEY CHAMBERS leans in towards EMMA.)

ZOEY: So…is anyone gonna pay for that? Cause that coffee isn’t free, y’know-

EMMA (annoyed): I’ll pay for it! God…

(PAUL, EMMA, and KAI go about their days as usual. The sun eventually sets, and the three are sitting around PAUL’s kitchen table, eating takeout.)

PAUL: So…Kai, what was dinner back in your hometown like?

(KAI glares. EMMA elbows PAUL.)

EMMA (hissed): Dude!

PAUL (whispered): What?! It was worth a shot!

(KAI pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs.)

KAI: Fine. I’ll tell you guys about Unington.

(PAUL and EMMA freeze.)

EMMA (whispered): Oh my god, it worked-

PAUL (whispered): Never doubt me again.

(KAI clears her throat.)

KAI: So, I guess it all started when I was eight, turning nine-

PAUL: Wait, why not when you were born?

KAI: Cause I was with my bio parents then, and it like..wasn’t nice. 

EMMA: What’s that supposed to mean?

KAI (nonchalant): Oh, they forced me to straighten my hair and act “normal” to make me more “manageable.” They didn’t like me much. My bio mother just, like, straight up told me to my face that she didn’t really love me when I was, like, five, I think.

(PAUL and EMMA are stunned.)

EMMA: …Okay, so, I’m gonna kill your bio parents-

PAUL: Right on, right on.

KAI: Don’t? Maybe? Anyways, for my birthday, I wanted to get new art supplies. I found my now-father’s place of work, which was apparently an animation studio, but the wiki article was edited to make it seem like it was an art supplies store. Stupid eight year old me didn’t do any other research, and I went in alone. Long story short, a bunch of wacky stuff happened, and I got adopted by my dad.

PAUL: Wait, what was the stuff that happened?

KAI: Yeah, no, that’s way too much stuff. Like, about five chapters of stuff. Basically an entire video game. But all you need to know is that I got a dad and I live in the animation studio.

EMMA: What is your life?!

KAI: Long, wacky, and a little confusing. Anywho, thanks to some screwing around, I met my now-mom while my dad was still getting my adoption in order. Mom wanted to adopt me too, but my dad was doing that, and it was real confusing. Eventually, they just decided to get legally married so it wasn’t as confusing.

PAUL/EMMA: …What???

(KAI chuckles.)

KAI (nostalgic): Yeah. Those two do not like each other. At all. Love them.

(KAI clears her throat.)

KAI: Anyways, by my ninth birthday, I was adopted. I was happy, for the first time in my life. It was great. And, of course, it didn’t last. I wanted ice cream. There was a parlor just a couple buildings down from the studio. I wanted to go alone. I was, as I put it, a “big girl” now. I thought I could do it. So did my parents. And…and while I was walking-

(KAI sucks in a staggered breath. She feels her body tremble and her vision blur with tears. She knows what comes next. She’s known for nine years. And the blow doesn’t get any less painful. Even after almost a decade, she can still feel it. The air being stolen from her lungs. The feeling of not being able to breathe, like a wet towel was tightly wrapped around her chest. The wet tears stinging her cheeks that were caked in grime and gore. The red-hot feeling of a knife digging itself into the flesh of her cheek and tearing through the skin as if it was nothing but a piece of fabric. The ache and sting of her throat as she screamed and cried. The weight that she felt through her entire body, the one that made her unable to move for weeks on end. The feelings after, of rotting in bed, of the emptiness in her stomach, of feeling so filthy that no shower could ever wash the grime away, of hopelessness, of knowing that, at the ripe age of nine, she deserved every bad thing that had ever happened and will ever happen to her. PAUL and EMMA look worried, EMMA reaching out to comfort her. KAI waves her hand away, breathing in.)

KAI (voice breaking): …Powell came over and decided he wanted to walk me to the parlor. He had blueberry, I had orange sherbet, it was nice.

(PAUL and EMMA look confused. And so does KAI. That’s not what happened. She knows that’s not what happened. That day, she gained a scar on her cheek and a shattered sense of self. That was the incident that made her realize she had to help people. That helping people was the only way she could ever redeem even a bit of herself. That helping was the only way, for lack of a better term, she could repent for the great sin she had committed. Nobody saved her from that incident. That incident made her KAI DREW. She doesn’t even know if she would be in Hatchetfield if it didn’t happen. So why did she remember some guy saving her?)

KAI (confused): What the f- that’s not what happened! I- I got ice cream with Powell- No I didn’t! Who the actual fuck is Powell?!

(EMMA snaps her fingers.)

EMMA: The weird dude from your dreams!

PAUL (realizing): Oh, yeah! Didn’t you say his name was-

KAI (realizing)/PAUL: Powell Kerian Otho!

EMMA: And wasn’t his whole thing, like, making you misremember stuff?

KAI: Well, yeah-

EMMA: Maybe you’re remembering a dream?

KAI: I mean, I could be, but…

(KAI looks at her parental figures with worry.)

KAI: Why can’t I remember the actual thing?

(PAUL and EMMA start to worry now, too.)

PAUL: Yeah, that’s not good.

EMMA: I- yeah. Not too sure about that one.

KAI: I- holy shit, I can’t remember anything bad ever happening to me in Unington.

EMMA: Like…your life was so great that even the bad things are good?

KAI: No, like, I literally can’t think of a time where I was sad. I just- I keep remembering weird dream dude saving me.

PAUL: …Yeah, that’s, uh, that’s weird.

(KAI starts to pace.)

KAI: (muttered) Back in 2018, you went to Hatchetfield for your first ever tour, and you met them, and there was this blue shit that took over everything and it took over you and made a mockery over everything you ever loved and put your heart on a silver platte- (awkward, nervous, shouted) Okay, yep, I remember that!

EMMA (confused): Wait, I thought you were going on your first ever tour this year?

PAUL (confused): Blue shit? What? Who’s “them”?

KAI (dismissive): Not important. Just a plot of some musical I really liked. Wanted to make sure I remembered it.

PAUL: Oh. Ew.

(KAI paces for a moment longer before snapping her fingers.)

KAI: I got it! I know what I have to do to fix my weird half-amnesia thingy!

(PAUL and EMMA look towards her, interested. KAI continues.)

KAI: I have to go back to Unington!

(PAUL and EMMA look towards each other, confused, before looking back at KAI.)

[NOTE: PAUL and EMMA’s lines are layered over each other.]

PAUL: I’m so confused right now.

EMMA: Yeah, I don’t follow.

KAI: Think about it! All my Unington memories are screwed up, but who would remember my original Unington memories?

(PAUL and EMMA blink. KAI sighs.)

KAI: My friends and family back home!

(PAUL and EMMA ‘Oh’ and nod.)

PAUL: Yeah, that makes sense!

EMMA: I could see that.

(KAI brightens up, determination and confidence seem in her grin.)

KAI: Well, see ya, family. I’m going to Unington!

(KAI throws open the front door and runs into the hall.)

PAUL: Kai, you don’t have a bag.

EMMA: Or a boat to Unington.

PAUL: And you left the door open.

EMMA: And you didn’t finish your dinner.

(KAI goes back into the apartment, shutting the door behind her.)

KAI: Right.

(A couple days pass, and KAI eventually gets the bag and boat she needs. She heads to the Hatchetfield docks, rolling her suitcase behind her. She wears her everyday Unington outfit: A two-toned blue shirt with a third blue tone making a drip pattern, suspenders styled to look like sheet music, three toned blue short with a bright yellow explosion shape and stars on one leg, long socks with sheet music wrapping around the thigh, two toned blue shoes, and a small blue hair clip with a teardrop on it. She looks down at herself.)

KAI (muttered): Could’a sworn there was way less blue and a lot more pink and yellow.

(KAI arrives at the docks, seeing PAUL and EMMA. EMMA snickers.)

EMMA: God, you look like a huge nerd.

KAI: Hey! This was the style back in Unington. Everyone wanted to dress like me. (overconfident) I was…something of a trendsetter.

(EMMA snickers and ruffles her hair.)

EMMA: I’ll believe it when I see it.

(KAI scoffs and looks to the side, perking up.)

KAI: Oh! Uncle Bill! Auntie Charlotte! I didn’t know you were coming!

(BILL WOODWARD and CHARLOTTE SWEETLY stand near PAUL and EMMA. BILL has a goofy smile on his face, and CHARLOTTE is tearing up.)

BILL: Well, we couldn’t let you leave without saying goodbye!

(BILL pulls KAI into a hug, to which KAI smiles and returns the gesture.)

BILL: Have fun back home for me, okay?

KAI: I will. I’ll bring ya a souvenir.

(BILL smiles and squeezes KAI tightly before letting her go. KAI turns to CHARLOTTE, who bursts into tears and hugs KAI tightly, swaying the girl from side to side. KAI chuckles quietly and hugs back.)

CHARLOTTE (weepy): B- Bye, Kai. I’m- I’m gonna miss you-! 

(CHARLOTTE starts sobbing, clinging to KAI tighter. KAI laughs.)

KAI: Me too, Auntie. Me too.

(KAI pats CHARLOTTE’s back. CHARLOTTE reluctantly lets go. KAI pulls PAUL and EMMA into a hug, to which they return.)

KAI: Love you guys.

PAUL: Love you too, Kai. I’ll miss you.

EMMA: Love you more, kiddo.

KAI: Oh, you do not wanna get into that fight with me right now.

(EMMA chuckles and PAUL smiles. KAI lets them go.)

PAUL: Y’know, I told Ted you were leaving.

KAI (exasperated): Oh, god.

PAUL: Yeah, he’s, uh…not taking the news well.

KAI: Wait, he’s sad?

PAUL: Not exactly.

(As if on cue, TED SPANKOFFSKI runs by, cheering and whooping.)

TED: WOOOOO!!!! DING-DONG, KAI IS DEAD!!!! 

(He runs off. The group glares in his direction.)

BILL: What a jerk.

(KAI shrugs.)

KAI: Eh, par for the course.

(KAI grabs her bag.)

KAI: Well, that’ll be all from me, folks. I’m off to Unington!

(KAI heads onto the boat, pulling her bag behind her. The ramp lifts as the boat takes off. The wind whips through her hair as she looks back towards Hatchetfield. PAUL and EMMA wave with sappy smiles on their faces. CHARLOTTE sobs. BILL smiles and waves before bursting into tears alongside CHARLOTTE. The two hug as they sob. PAUL pats his friends’ backs. KAI waves before looking out at the water in front of her.)

KAI: Unington, here I come.

(Eventually, KAI makes it to Unington. She excitedly runs over to the docks, spreading out her arms.)

KAI (singsong): Hello-o-o, Uning-

(KAI blinks, looking around.)

KAI (confused): Ton..?

(The city known for its music and color is silent and dull. Nobody can be seen for miles.)

KAI: Well, forgive me for being egotistical if I am, but…I was expectin’ a warmer welcome! Like-

(KAI runs to the other side of the docks.)

[NOTE: KAI switches sides as she switches characters.]

KAI (as UNINGTON CITIZEN #1): Kai! We missed you!

KAI: Aw, I missed y’all too!

KAI (as UNINGTON CITIZEN #2): You were gone forever! Starving us of content, I see.

KAI: Aw, gee, I just met a few people who I really liked-

KAI (as UNINGTON CITIZEN #3): That’s bogus. You’re not allowed to stop performing. Your fans deserve to get more content on a regular basis. 

KAI (miffed): Well, forgive me, but I deserve to live my life-

KAI (as UNINGTON CITZEN #4): On stage, for all of us to see! It’s not fair if you stop performing.

KAI (annoyed): Well, you’ll have to deal with the fact that I, like every other person, want breaks.

KAI (as UNINGTON CITIZEN #5): Well, I think you shouldn’t be allowed to take breaks. Not when people are expecting you to perform.

KAI (pissed): Well, howza’ bout you take that thought, and shove it up your a-!

(KAI holds that ‘a’ sound as she comes to a realization. She straightens up.)

KAI (worried, disappointed): Geez, Kai, are ya really arguing wit’ yourself?!

(She knocks herself on the head.)

KAI (disappointed): Ya friends were right, you belong in the loony bin!

(KAI steps to the other side.)

KAI (as KAI B): Well, I don’t think so! 

KAI (as KAI A): Really?

KAI (as KAI B): Yeah! I mean, (egotistical) we are pretty fun to talk to.

KAI (as KAI A): Well, thanks, Kai, I think so too! But I still think we should probably stop talkin’ to each other.

KAI (as KAI B, shocked): What?! Why?

KAI (as KAI A): Well, it makes us seem… y’know…

KAI (as KAI B, annoyed): No, I don’t know. Spit. It. Out.

KAI (as KAI A, sheepishly): …Cuckoo bananas?

KAI (as KAI B, offended): Why I’d never! That’s it, I’m done talking to you!

KAI (as KAI A, annoyed): Well, good! Cause I need to focus on why we came to Unington. 

KAI (as KAI B): And that reason was?

KAI (as KAI A): To, uh… um…

KAI (as KAI B): You forgot, didn’t you? Idiot.

KAI (as KAI A): Well, it’s not like you remember!

KAI (as KAI B): Of course I remember! We were here to…uh…what were we here for again?

(KAI thinks before stepping in the middle of her two spots.)

KAI (as KAI C): Oh, I remember! We were here to find out why our memories were all bing-bang-bent outta shape!

(KAI smiles and pats herself on the back.)

KAI: Good job, me!

(KAI turns on her heel, smiling. She hums as she walks through Unington. Her chipper demeanor fades as she looks around at the broken down, empty, ghost town, a shadow of what Unington used to be.)

KAI: Jumpin’ jackrabbits, what happened ‘ere?!

(KAI looks around.)

KAI: Hello-o-o?! Anyone here?!

(No response. KAI huffs, crossing her arms and puffing up her cheeks.)

KAI: Well, this really hashes my tag.

(Suddenly, a noise comes in front of KAI. She looks up and sees BENDY, facing away from her.)

KAI: Oh! Dad! There you are! Y’know, leaving me high and dry at the docks isn’t very nice.

(He doesn’t respond. The backing track for “Inevitable” starts up.)

BENDY: Kai, I'm sorry… You lost…

KAI (confused): Huh? Dad, this is kind of a weird time to sing, and that’s comin’ from me.

BENDY: Kai, I'm sorry, you lost…

(The body turns with a smile. KAI backs up, eyes widening and terror shooting through every part of her body.)

INFECTED #1 [formerly BENDY]: Your way!

(His eyes are now a sickeningly familiar shade of electric blue.)

KAI (terrified): Dad?!

(The body approaches. KAI backs away, terrified.)

INFECTED #1 [formerly BENDY]: What if I told you I made it? And this is the life that I chose?

(Two hands grip her shoulders. KAI almost sobs.)

INFECTED #2 [formerly MONIKA]: Would you even believe it, Kai?

(A body pops up beside KAI. She finds it harder and harder to hold in her tears.)

INFECTED #3 [formerly HANA]: Do you believe in ghosts?

(Someone heads in front of KAI. Her breath speeds up.)

INFECTED #4 [formerly KEL]: What if I told you a story?

(Another body appears beside what used to be KEL. It’s hard for KAI to handle.)

INFECTED #5 [formerly YASH]: That settled all the dust?

(A body pushes past the two and takes her hands. KAI can’t help it. She starts to cry.)

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: I'm still the man you trust!

(KAI looks to the next body as quiet sobs wrack her body.)

INFECTED #7 [formerly KOU]: It's inevitable, 

(INFECTED #3 pops up beside INFECTED #7.)

INFECTED #3 [formerly HANA]: For us!

(KAI staggers backwards.)

KAI (terrified, crying): No- NO!!! I CAN’T DO THIS AGAIN!! WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU?!

(Another pair of hands grabs her shoulders, pulling her into a dance.)

INFECTED #8 [formerly BEAN]: Before, I had no ambition, but now my life is a song!

(INFECTED #4 grabs KAI’s hands.)

INFECTED #4 [formerly KEL]: Don't you want to see me happy?

INFECTED #5 [formerly YASH]: Is that so tragically wrong?

(INFECTED #2 appears by her side.)

INFECTED #2 [formerly MONIKA]: What if the only choice is,

(INFECTED #1 appears at her open side.)

INFECTED #1 [formerly BENDY]: You have to sing to survive?

(INFECTED #1 grabs her hand and drags her along, pulling KAI onto a stage.)

INFECTED #1 [formerly BENDY]: We must, go on, with the show!

(INFECTED #1 grabs INFECTED #4’s hand and twirls the body.)

INFECTED #1/#4 [formerly BENDY/KEL]: It's inevitable…

(INFECTED #4 spins towards KAI and grabs her hands.)

INFECTED #4 [formerly KEL]: To know what I want now!

(Multiple UNINGTON CITIZENS emerge from the buildings and alleyways, all INFECTED.)

INFECTED: Know what you want now!

(INFECTED #5 grabs KAI by the shoulders.)

INFECTED #5 [formerly YASH]: Kai, I want you to join the party!

(Suddenly, another INFECTED body comes out of the crowd, one that KAI recognizes as her former boss at the cafe, dressed like a Beanie’s employee.)

INFECTED #9 [formerly PEGGY]: Are you going to tip me? 

(More INFECTED come from behind PEGGY.)

INFECTED: Get your cup of coffee!

(INFECTED #5 spins KAI around.)

INFECTED #5 [formerly YASH]: Look at the fun we're having already! 

INFECTED: What?

(KAI is spun into INFECTED #4, who grabs her hands gingerly.)

INFECTED #4 [formerly KEL]: I found my calling, you can do the same now!

(INFECTED #5 grabs KAI’s shoulders.)

INFECTED #5 [formerly YASH]: Put your words to lyrics, and you're playing the game now!

(INFECTED #4 and #5 hold hands and press their cheeks together, kicking their legs up behind them.)

INFECTED #4/#5 [formerly KEL/YASH]: It's all there is and all there ever was!

(INFECTED #4 and #5 plant their feet and outstretch their arms.)

INFECTED #4/#5/#6 [formerly KEL/YASH/MITSU]: Kai!

(INFECTED #6 pushes #4 and #5 out of the way, strutting towards KAI on the beat.)

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: Let me puke in your mouth, and, just open your food bin, girl! 

(INFECTED #6 grabs KAI’s cheeks, forcing her mouth open.)

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: And you can join the hive!

(KAI pushes INFECTED #6 away. It grabs her hand and spins KAI off the stage.)

INFECTED #6/#7 [formerly MITSU/KOU]: Then show me your…

(When she comes to a stop, she’s faced with INFECTED #7, dressed as the sheriff of the Unington Police Department, INFECTED members of the UTPD singing alongside him.)

INFECTED #7 [formerly KOU]: Hands! Show me those jazz hands! Get em' up or you're shit outta luck!

(INFECTED #7 pulls out a gun, shooting at KAI on the beat. KAI shrieks and jumps backwards, dodging bullets. She flips out of the way, whipping around to face INFECTED #7 and the INFECTED UTPD.)

INFECTED #7 [formerly KOU]: Show me your hands! Show me those jazz hands!

(INFECTED #7 spins out.)

INFECTED #7/#3 [formerly KOU/HANA]: Or I might be inclined…

(INFECTED #3 spins KAI into a dip.)

INFECTED #3 [formerly HANA]: To plant my seed!

(INFECTED citizens of Unington appear behind INFECTED #3, dressed as PEIP soldiers.)

INFECTED: Oh-oh-oh-oh!

INFECTED #3 [formerly HANA]: The hive needs to feed!

INFECTED: Oh-oh-oh-oh!

(KAI pulls away, and INFECTED #3 outstretches its arms.)

INFECTED #3 [formerly HANA]: Happiness is guaranteed!

INFECTED: Oh-oh-oh-oh!

(INFECTED #8 appears beside INFECTED #3, and the two hook arms around their shoulders and finger gun each other.)

INFECTED #3/#8 [formerly HANA/BEAN]: If you just give us one last…

(INFECTED #3 and #8 grab hands and spin around, letting go. When they stop, the INFECTED are all in sparkly, jazzy, Broadway-esque costumes colored in various hues of blue. INFECTED #8 is wearing a sleeveless suit, with cropped pant legs, like a bathing suit. They wear fishnets, heels, and long red gloves. They hold a cane, which they use for their choreo. INFECTED #1-#7 form a kick line behind KAI.)

INFECTED #8 [formerly BEAN]: Show-stopping number! With Kai front and center!

(The INFECTED force KAI into their kick line.)

INFECTED #8 [formerly BEAN]: A kick line is inevitable!

(KAI breaks free and runs down the street. However, a large crowd of INFECTED civilians are cornering her.)

INFECTED: What if I told you a story,

(KAI tries to run the other way. But, another large crowd of INFECTED civilians approaches.) 

INFECTED: How the world became peaceful and just?

(KAI tries the path to her right. Another mob of the INFECTED.)

INFECTED: It was inevitable!

(She tries her left. Another mob.)

INFECTED: Inevitable!

(KAI staggers and stumbles as the INFECTED circle her like wolves in the middle of the town square.)

INFECTED: Inevitable!

(The circle breaks as a figure, dressed in a long, flowing blue coat with dark blue rhinestone drips. The outfit is very ornate and fancy. The figure has a white cracked mask, blue sludge dripping from it.)

MASKED FIGURE: The apotheosis is upon-

INFECTED: Us!

(The song ends. KAI, at this point, has fallen into a sitting position, her breathing heavy and panicked. The figure removes his mask, revealing himself to be POWELL. His face is cracked like his mask, and the blue sludge drips from the cracks. He smirks.)

POWELL: Hi, Kai. It’s nice to see you again.

KAI (terrified): …Powell Kerian Otho.

POWELL: Call me Po. Po K Otho. Pokotho.

(KAI is lost in memory, as the name seems familiar. POKOTHO pouts.)

POKOTHO: Aw, you seem sad, songbird. So, tell me.

(He grins.)

POKOTHO: What’s in your soul? Is your heart so damp and bleak, that you won’t give us a peek, of your soul?

(KAI’s eyes widen, along with the smiles of the INFECTED. POKOTHO stalks behind her, a wide grin on his face.)

POKOTHO: Just let it out! There’s a voice inside of you, on the edge of coming through, what’s it about?

(He slowly circles KAI, watching her intently.)

POKOTHO: And I know it’s a singular voice, Kai! You’ve just got to give up your choice!

(The INFECTED voices ring out as a whole. KAI stares with wide eyes.)

INFECTED: Just let it out, let it out, let it out!

KAI: It’s- it’s you. You’re the fuckin’ douchebag that started all this.

(KAI’s breathing speeds up. She’s back at the Starlight again, with mom and dad.)

INFECTED: Let it out, let it out, let it out!

KAI: You couldn’t just have your fun with Hatchetfield?! You’ve gotta do it with the people I hold closest to me?!

(Her heart pounds like the beat of the drums. She’s completely terrified.

INFECTED: Let it out, let it out, let it out!

KAI: You already ruined my life once, y’ really haveta’ do it again?!

(The INFECTED hold out their hands towards her.)

INFECTED: Let it out, let it out—

(They fall silent, still pointing towards KAI. She realizes they want her to sing with them, sing the song that ruined her life. She’s stunned for a moment, before she balls up her fist and lets out a primal, rage-filled scream.)

KAI (pissed): NEVER!

(She runs forward and socks POKOTHO in the jaw, causing him to stumble back. The INFECTED writhe in agony for a moment. The corners of KAI’s mouth twitch up into a smile. She hurt him like he hurt her. Her happiness is short-lived, however, as POKOTHO rises.) 

POKOTHO: It seems like our leading lady doesn’t understand her part in the show.

(He snaps his fingers. The INFECTED’s heads snap towards her. Her heart drops into her stomach.)

POKOTHO: Dear ensemble, would you mind showing our little starlet her place on the stage?

INFECTED (singsong): Yes, Lord Pokotho.

KAI: Uh-oh.

(The INFECTED start approaching KAI. She sprints away. Multiple bodies fling themselves towards KAI, lunging for her and grabbing at her. She manages to make it through the crowd without a scratch. She lets out a breathy laugh of relief as she watches the INFECTED get smaller and smaller behind her. She looks forward and yelps, skidding to a stop.)

INFECTED #10 [formerly KAI’S BIO MOM] (singsong): Come back to us, Kai!

INFECTED #11 [formerly KAI’S BIO DAD] (singsong): We miss you!

KAI (deadpan): Oh, now that- that’s just cold, man.

INFECTED #10 [formerly KAI’S BIO MOM]: Yeah- yeah, even I felt kinda gross about this one.

INFECTED #11 [formerly KAI’S BIO DAD]: Your bio parents sucked, dude. Like, a lot.

KAI: Yeah-h-h.

INFECTED #10 [formerly KAI’S BIO MOM]: Sorry about that.

KAI: ‘S fine, I guess.

(An awkward silence passes through the group.)

INFECTED #11 [formerly KAI’S BIO DAD] (singsong): Back to infecting you, though!

(KAI yelps and bounds out of the way as INFECTED #10 and #11 lunge for her.)

KAI: Aw, c’mon! I thought we had a breakthrough there!

INFECTED #10/#11 [formerly KAI’S BIO MOM/KAI’S BIO DAD] (singsong): Nope!

(KAI runs past the INFECTED bodies, swerving around each vessel that pops up in her path. She sprints down the road.)

KAI (desperately): C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon-

(She skids in front of a familiar building. She grins.)

KAI: Yes!

(She throws the doors of “JOEY DREW STUDIOS” open, darting inside. She breathes the air in, the smell of paper, ink, and aged wood filling her nose. She smiles.)

KAI: It’s good to be home.

(She starts moving her way through the studio, the wood and walls as old and yellowed as she remembered. She walks quickly and carefully, reminding herself of tips that she’s learned through the years.)

KAI (muttered): Mind the loose floorboard, that one’ll give out under your weight, that wall’s a trick wall, hidden room to your left, that pipe always leaks, Uncle Wally is completely done with it-

(KAI hears a creak in the floorboard. Her head snaps up and she quickly ducks underneath an isolated animation desk. She covers her mouth, curling up into a ball. She turns to the wall next to her, finding many old childhood drawings of hers taped and pinned up. The line work is shaky, the anatomy is off, and the art seems to be an attempt at the traditional ‘anime/manga’ style. Her eyes soften as she remembers the days spent sketching under this desk, and once her eyes land on the picture in the center, they well up with tears as she remembers who it belonged to. In the middle of all the childish drawings lies one drawing much better than the rest. It’s professionally done in a 1920’s-1930’s rubber hose cartoon style, done in ink instead of pencil and crayon. It depicts KAI as a 9 year old girl, and a man she knows dearly.)

KAI (quiet, muffled): Oh, Uncle Henry…

(A note written in ink beside the picture reads “Welcome home, Kai. We’re all so happy to have you here. ~ Uncle Henry”, a tiny smiley face drawn next to it. She remembers the events of her adoption. She remembers the days spent drawing under her uncle’s desk. She remembers it all. She sniffs. Another creak.)

BENDY: Hey, kiddo-! Your mom? And your friends? Okay, I’ll get ‘em if it’s that important.

(KAI’s eyes widen as the sounds of her friends and family fill the air. She remembers this.)

BENDY: Everybody’s here, kiddo.

MONIKA: What’s up?

(KAI squeezes her eyes shut, going over that phone call in her head, remembering her last words to her family. “Okay, so, I dunno how to explain it, but one of the cities I'm touring in, Hatchetheld, is, like, overrun with some sort of virus that makes everyone dance and sing. So, other than the usual, is anyone in Unington singing and dancing at out of place times?”)

KEL: Uh…no.

YASH: Yeah, all the usual stuff here!

HANA: Mhm, just the regular group numbers at ‘round 4:00.

KOU (upset): Aw, you missed us doing Newsies!

MITSU: Not the time, man.

(“Okay, good. If it starts happening, quarantine them immediately.”)

BENDY: Why? What’s-

(“...Time for the other thing.” The group quiets. “I dunno if I'm gonna make it out alive. Like, for realsies this time. If I do make it out 'alive', there's a high chance I'll be infected. I might die, guys. For real this time.”)

[NOTE: Lines are layered over each other.]

KOU (panicked): What?! You can’t! You’re Kai Drew, dangit!

MITSU (panicked): You’re telling us this now?! 

YASH (panicked): No! Nonononono! That- you can’t die! That’s not allowed!

KEL (panicked): What?! Huh?! No! I won’t let it happen! I won’t! You’ve made it this long, I can’t- I won’t let you die!

HANA (panicked): WHAT THE ACTUAL FU- you’ve gotta be joking! No way- no way!

MONIKA (panicked): No. No. No! That’s- that’s not happening, kiddo. Not to you. Not to my daughter. I swear to the heavens above, I’ll-

BENDY (panicked): …What? Kiddo, please, please, please tell me you’re joking. I- I’m- no. Not to my baby. I’m not gonna watch you die. No, I haven’t had enough time with you. Eight years isn’t long enough. Hell, 100 years wouldn’t be long enough! I can’t lose you, not yet. We’ll get you outta there-

(“Guys.” The group quiets. “I think I'm gonna die. An- and I just wanted to tell you guys I love you guys. Just in case. You all can fight over my stuff, I- I just-…I love you.”)

BENDY: …We love you too, kiddo.

MONIKA: More than life itself.

KEL: We’ll always love you, Kai.

YASH: Whether you’re some angsty emo kid—

HANA: —Or a bubbly, cartoony goofball—

KOU: —Or anything in between.

MITSU: You’re our Kai, through and through. I don’t think we could ever stop loving you.

(Murmurs of agreement go through the group. “I- I love you guys so much, okay? You- you've all done so much for me and- and I don't think I would- would be the person I am today without you guys. Like, you- you took me in when I was nine, and- and you let me stay, after all I've done? I'm- I've done terrible things, I'm- I'm a terrible person-!”)

BENDY: You’re not a terrible person, kiddo.

MONIKA: Don’t you ever call yourself that.

BENDY: You’re the best person any of us have ever known.

MONIKA: You wear your heart on your sleeve, you help anyone who needs it, you’ve got a heart made of gold, you’re sweeter than sugar, I could go on and on.

BENDY: One incident doesn’t define who you are, kiddo. How you move forward, that’s what makes you, you.

MONIKA: And I’ve gotta say, you’ve become a damn good person, kiddo.

BENDY: You make our lives better.

MONIKA: So don’t you dare say you’re a terrible person.

(“And there you guys go again. Loving me when I don't even love myself.”)

BENDY: We always will, hon.

MONIKA: We just wish you loved yourself as much as we love you.

BENDY: We wish you could see the beautiful, kind, amazing girl- no, woman that you are.

(“…A-Alright. I'm not a terrible person. But I'm not done, either.”)

MITSU: Of course you aren’t.

YASH: That’s Kai for ya.

KEL: Always droning on about something.

HANA: Or nothing in particular.

KOU: That’s our girl!

(“And you guys.”)

HANA/KEL/KOU/MITSU/YASH: Us?

(“Yeah, y'all. You-you guys befriended me when I was at the lowest point of my life, when- when I was just so... angry and all I could do was lash out on people who didn't deserve it. And- and you know what you guys did? You made me so much better. You helped me so much, and- and I just-… I love you guys so much.”)

YASH: Right back atcha, K.

KEL: We made you better?!

HANA: You made us better!

KOU: I honestly don’t think I’d be as happy as I was today without you.

MITSU: You changed our lives, Kai. For the better. Thank you for that.

BENDY: We love you, kiddo.

MONIKA: We love you more than every star in the sky, more than every grain of sand, more than life itself.

(“So-so I need you to promise me. I need you all to promise me that you guys will be okay. That you guys will stay safe and make sure everyone else in Unington does too. Because the only way I can keep on going here is knowing you guys are gonna be okay.”)

BENDY: Only if you do it too.

YASH: You gotta promise that you’ll come home safe.

(“I can't promise you that. I don't wanna lie.”)

KEL: Then don’t lie.

HANA: Come home safe.

KOU: Come back to Unington safe and sound.

MITSU: Come back here and be okay.

MONIKA: Promise us that, and we’ll promise to be okay.

(“... Alright. I'll be okay, I promise. I'll get through this, and then when I get back home to Unington, you guys'll scoop me up, spin me around, give me lots of hugs and kisses, load me up with a few buns from Peggy's, we'll watch all my favorite shows, movies, and musicals, and cuddle on the couch all night. I'm-I'm gonna hold you to that!”)

BENDY: Good.

MONIKA: Hold us to that.

YASH: And we promise.

KEL: We promise to be at that dock when you come back.

HANA: We promise to do all that goofy stuff once you get back.

KOU: We promise all of that and then some.

MITSU: We’ll be okay, Kai. We promise.

(“Okay. See you guys soon.”)

BENDY: Got it.

(“...I love you guys more than words could ever express.”)

ALL: Samesies.

(KAI squeezes her eyes shut tighter.)

KAI (aloud): G'bye.

(Silence falls over the studio. KAI stands, emerging from her hiding spot, only to find her family, still with electric blue eyes and snarky smirks on their faces.)

INFECTED #1 [formerly BENDY]: That was almost too easy.

(The group of infected laugh in sync as KAI stumbles back with wide and teary eyes. She quickly turns on her heel and sprints off.)

INFECTED: HEY!

(The INFECTED give chase. As KAI runs, she spots something glinting in the dim studio light out of the corner of her eye. She grabs it quickly, stuffing it in her hair. She books it to the back exit of the studio, bursting out of the door into an alleyway. She hops into a dumpster, as the INFECTED run past, heading out of sight. KAI hesitantly pulls herself out of the garbage, pulling stray trash out of her hair. She pokes her head out of the alley. She can faintly see POKOTHO, standing on the stage in town square. An INFECTED citizen goes up to him.)

INFECTED (singsong, nervous): Lord Pokotho, we, um- no one in the hive can find the girl.

(POKOTHO grabs the body by the collar.)

POKOTHO: Find her. I don’t care if you have to rip the whole goddamn town apart. I need my leading lady.

(POKOTHO throws the body to the side. It scampers away to go look for KAI. She ducks back behind the wall, sighing. She pulls out the item she grabbed back in the studio out of her hair, the weight of the handle heavy in her hand. She tosses it up, and it flips around in the air. She catches it by the handle and stares down at it.)

KAI: Hiya, old gal. Nice to see you again.

(The black and yellow ax glints in the light. She studies it in her hand before peeking out at POKOTHO. He’s turned around.)

KAI (muttered): You’ve got one shot, Drewski. Make it count.

(Her hand tightens around the ax, and she runs full speed towards POKOTHO. She sprints, launching off a speaker set in front of the stage. She holds the ax above her head with both hands as she lets out a guttural scream of rage. POKOTHO turns quickly and snaps his fingers. INFECTED #1-#8 surround POKOTHO. KAI’s eyes widen as she slams the ax down into the stage, just missing the group of the INFECTED. They surround the girl.)

KAI (voice breaking): I- I can’t.

(She looks up at what used to be her family, tears streaming down her face.)

KAI (voice breaking): I can’t hurt them.

(She shakily rises to her feet, staggering towards INFECTED #1. She takes his face in her hands.)

KAI (voice breaking): I can’t hurt my family.

(She breaks down sobbing, burying her face in what used to be her father’s chest, clinging to him. The body moves away, causing KAI to fall to the floor. She curls up into a ball and sobs, her chest heaving. POKOTHO coos and squats down in front of her. He gingerly grabs her chin, forcing her teary eyes to meet his.)

POKOTHO: You miss your family, don’t you?

(He moves away, and INFECTED #2 stands in his place.)

INFECTED #2 [formerly MONIKA]: Let me help you.

(INFECTED #2 harshly grabs KAI by the cheeks, bringing the girl to its face. It forces her mouth open as it opens its own mouth. It vomits blue sludge into KAI’s mouth, to which the girl gags and sputters, trying to get the foreign substance out of her throat. INFECTED #2 drops KAI to the ground. KAI shakes on all fours, her arms threatening to give out beneath her. She coughs and hacks, glowing blue shit spraying on the ground in front of her.)

KAI (shaky): Ooh, lay my curses all to rest…

(Her arms give out and she falls to the floor. She curls up into  fetal position, shaking. POKOTHO sits down in front of her, legs crossed. He pulls her weak body towards him, resting her head in his lap. She looks up at him with her now electric blue eyes. Tears, now turned blue sludge, stream down her face.)

KAI (shaky)/POKOTHO: Make a mercy out of me.

(KAI, with what control she has left, begins to sob. POKOTHO coos and shushes her, pushing her bangs back and placing a sickeningly sweet kiss on her forehead.)

POKOTHO (cooing): Oh, little songbird, don’t cry. You need rest, darling. We have a show to put on at The Starlight Theater soon, and you don’t want to be all exhausted for that, don’t you, love?

(KAI’s bleary eyes widen. She knows she’s gonna pass out soon. She can’t. She has to stay awake. She has to keep her hold on her mind. She can’t let him win. As if hearing her thoughts, POKOTHO smirks.)

POKOTHO (cooing): Oh, starlet…don’t you understand by now?

(He runs her fingers through her hair. Her eyes blur with sleep. In her last moments of consciousness, she can hear him speak.)

POKOTHO: I’ve already won.

(Later, the people of Hatchetfield swarm into The Starlight Theater, taking their seats. They chitter amongst themselves, excited and filled with anticipation for the upcoming show. The lights flash twice and the crowd quiets, settling down. The stage lights flash blue as 7 figures emerge from all sides of the stage, including THE AUDIENCE. The figures’ movements are uncanny and puppet-like. The bodies of MITSU, KEL, HANA, YASH, KOU, BENDY, and MONIKA continue to move onto stage. MITSU’s body is the first to sing, the others acting as his ENSEMBLE.)

[NOTE: ENSEMBLE’s lines are layered under INFECTED #6’s.]

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: The greatest stories ever told,

ENSEMBLE: Ooh

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: Have a hero who must be bold! 

ENSEMBLE: Ooh

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: They learn a sense of right and wrong!

ENSEMBLE: Ooh

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: And better learn the sense through song! 

(The ENSEMBLE and MITSU’s bodies strike poses as they continue to pace around. KEL’s body begins to sing, INFECTED #6 switching to ENSEMBLE.)

[NOTE: ENSEMBLE’s lines are layered under INFECTED #4’s.]

INFECTED #4 [formerly KEL]: Musicals tell the impossible! 

ENSEMBLE: Impossible

INFECTED #4 [formerly KEL]: They evoke the philosophical, yeah!

[NOTE: ‘Philosophical’ is pronounced ‘phil-os-i-FUCK-al’.]

(INFECTED #4 switches to ENSEMBLE as what used to be HANA begins to sing.)

INFECTED #3 [formerly HANA]: So tonight we’re gonna chronicle, a story so astronomical!(EVERYONE clusters together at center stage.)EVERYONE: The last remaining story to tell!

(INFECTED #6’s head perks up above the rest.)

[NOTE: ENSEMBLE’s lines are layered under INFECTED #6’s.]

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: The Kai who didn’t like musicals!

ENSEMBLE: Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em! Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em!

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: I mean, what the heck?!ENSEMBLE: Didn’t like, did not like, didn't like-a-like 'em! 

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: She’s the Kai who didn’t like musicals!

ENSEMBLE: Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em! Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em!

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: Yeah, what the heck?

ENSEMBLE: Didn’t like, did not like, didn't like-a-like 'em! 

(KOU’s body switches to lead vocals.)

INFECTED #7 [formerly KOU]: In the tiny town of Unington, lived this awful girl named Kai!

(MONIKA’s body switches to lead vocals.)

INFECTED #2 [formerly MONIKA]: Spends her day surfing the web, and not singing and dancing with us all!

(EVERYONE sings together.)

EVERYONE: Should we kill her? Should we kill her?!

(YASH’s body switches to lead vocals, the ENSEMBLE reaching for her.)INFECTED #5 [formerly YASH]: Oh, she pines after… Well, nobody, really. But isn’t she worth a show-stopping fiesta, yeah?

(BENDY’s body switches to lead vocals.)

INFECTED #1 [formerly BENDY]: But for some damn reason, she won’t join our singing season!

(INFECTED #7 and #2 switch to lead vocals.)

INFECTED #7/#2 [formerly KOU/MONIKA]: What an ass!

(INFECTED #7 and #2 stay on lead vocals, #4 and #5 join them.)

INFECTED #7/#2/#4/#5 [formerly KOU/MONIKA/KEL/YASH]: What a bitch!

(EVERYONE sings together.)

EVERYONE: What a cuck!

(INFECTED #6 goes back onto lead vocals, EVERYONE else switches back to ENSEMBLE.)

[NOTE: ENSEMBLE’s lines are layered under INFECTED #6’s.]

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: The Kai who didn’t like musicals!

ENSEMBLE: Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em! Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em!

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: I mean, what the heck?!ENSEMBLE: Didn’t like, did not like, didn't like-a-like 'em! 

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: She’s the Kai who didn’t like musicals! Na-na-na-na-na-na-na!

ENSEMBLE: Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em! Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em!

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: Na-na-na-na-na-na-na!

ENSEMBLE: Didn’t like, did not like, didn't like-a-like 'em! 

(EVERYONE paces around once again.)

[NOTE: ENSEMBLE’s lines are layered under INFECTED #6’s.]

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: It’s the end of the world, Kai! 

ENSEMBLE: End of the world!

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: If you don’t sing! 

ENSEMBLE: If you don't sing!

(INFECTED #2 switches to lead vocals, INFECTED #6 switches to ENSEMBLE.)

[NOTE: ENSEMBLE’s lines are layered under INFECTED #2’s.]

INFECTED #2 [formerly MONIKA]: This is the bridge, Kai! 

ENSEMBLE: This is the bridge!

INFECTED #2 [formerly MONIKA]: Where we globalize everything!

(INFECTED #1 switches to lead vocals, #2 switches to ENSEMBLE.)

INFECTED #1 [formerly BENDY]: And the words will come to you, we swear we will teach you…

(EVERYONE sings together.)

EVERYONE: What it means to love…what it means to obey, Kai!

(Pan out to EVERYONE standing in a line. EVERYONE looks from side to side for a moment, and a silhouette appears in the background.)

KAI (defeated): The apotheosis is upon us.

(Pan back out as a celebratory ‘Yay!’ sound effect plays in the background.)

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: Did’ya hear the word?

ENSEMBLE: What's the word?

INFECTED #6/#4 [formerly MITSU/KEL]: She’s a-comin'!

ENSEMBLE: Who’s a-comin'?

INFECTED #6/#4 [formerly MITSU/KEL]: Kai’s a-comin'!

ENSEMBLE: Kai’s a-comin'?

EVERYONE: The star of the show!

(INFECTED #3 switches to lead vocals, EVERYONE else switches to ENSEMBLE.)

INFECTED #3 [formerly HANA]: Now for her headlining entrance!

(INFECTED #3 switches to ENSEMBLE, #5 and #4 switch to lead vocals.)

INFECTED #5/#4 [formerly YASH/KEL]: Time to swoon at her leading gal essence!

(INFECTED #5 and #4 switch to ENSEMBLE, #7 and #1 switch to lead vocals.)

INFECTED #7/#1 [formerly KOU/BENDY]: Her name is in the title!

(INFECTED #7 and #1 switch to ENSEMBLE, #6 and #2 switch to lead vocals.)

INFECTED #6/#2 [formerly MITSU/MONIKA]: She’s destined to go viral, here she is, her name is Kai!

(EVERYONE sings in harmony, pulling the cyc to the side as a spotlight shines down on center stage.)

EVERYONE: Enter now!

(POKAITHO does not enter. INFECTED #6 blinks, confused, and leans towards #7 and whispers.)

INFECTED #6 [formerly MITSU]: Where the fuck is she?!

INFECTED #7 [formerly KOU]: I have no fucking clue.

(KAI walks center stage, dressed to the nines. Her electric blue eyes with dilated pupils glare out into the audience.)

KAI: The gal just doesn’t like musicals!

WOMEN: Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em! Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em!

MEN: You gotta believe in something, Kai, gotta believe in stupid Kai,

(KAI feels the apotheosis shoot painfully through her veins. She writhes in pain. She looks back at the audience, pupils tiny and smile wide. She’s not KAI anymore.)

POKAITHO [formerly KAI] (semi-pained): Yeah!WOMEN: Didn’t like, did not like, didn't like-a-like 'em! 

MEN: Gotta believe in something, Kai, you piece of shit,

POKAITHO [formerly KAI]: She’s the Kai who didn’t like musicals! Na-na-na-na-na-na-na!

WOMEN: Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em! Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em!

POKAITHO [formerly KAI]: Na-na-na-na-na-na-na!

MEN: Gotta believe in something, Kai, gotta believe in stupid Kai,

WOMEN: Didn’t like, did not like, didn't like-a-like 'em! 

POKAITHO [formerly KAI]: Na-na-na-na-na-na-na!

MEN: Gotta believe in something, Kai, you piece of shit,

(At this point, INFECTED #5 stops singing with the WOMEN, and EVERYONE circles POKAITHO.)

[NOTE: The WOMEN’s lines, INFECTED #5’s lines and the MEN’s lines are layered under POKAITHO’s.]

POKAITHO [formerly KAI]: And she definitely won't like this!

WOMEN: Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em! Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em!

POKAITHO [formerly KAI]: Yeah, yeah, yeah!

MEN: Gotta believe in something, Kai, gotta believe in stupid Kai,

WOMEN: Didn’t like, did not like, didn't like-a-like 'em! Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em!

MEN: Gotta believe in something, Kai, you piece of shit,

POKAITHO [formerly KAI]: She’s the Kai who didn’t like musicals! 

WOMEN (except INFECTED #5 [formerly YASH]): Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em!

INFECTED #5 [formerly YASH]: Why, oh, why, oh why?

POKAITHO [formerly KAI]: Na-na-na-na-na-na-na!

MEN: Gotta believe in something, Kai, gotta believe in stupid Kai,

WOMEN (except INFECTED #5 [formerly YASH]): Didn’t like, did not like, didn't like-a-like 'em!

POKAITHO [formerly KAI]: Na-na-na-na-na-na-na!

WOMEN (Except INFECTED #5 [formerly YASH]): Didn’t like, did not like, didn't like-a-like 'em!

MEN: Gotta believe in something,

INFECTED #5 [formerly YASH]: Why, oh, why…

(The INFECTED freeze, swivel towards POKAITHO, who spreads her arms, and they flip her off.)

EVERYONE: Kai, you piece of shit!

(POKAITHO smiles, while one of KAI’s tears mixed with blue sludge rolls down her cheek. KAI scans the crowd of cheering Hatchetfield citizens, the entire crowd’s eyes that sickening shade of electric blue. In the front row CHARLOTTE, BILL, PAUL and EMMA sit, clapping and cheering. Their eyes glow with the same blue as the rest of THE AUDIENCE. In between PAUL and EMMA sits POKOTHO, a smirk on his face as he claps, enjoying his show, now finally complete with the addition of his leading lady.)

THE END

[youshouldhavepaidattentiondad]

Smilin’ But We’re Close To Tears

Ao3

“...what do you think is out there?” Ziggs asks, reclining back in the bed of their old pickup truck. They take a sip of whiskey straight from the bottle. They can see strips of galaxy running like ribbons through the night sky.

Skud stays quiet, his nimble fingers busy rolling a joint. When he’s finished, his answer is further delayed by him lighting up and taking a hit. “You mean, like, up there or outside of Hatchetfield?” he asks, coughing slightly. He passes the blunt to Ziggs in exchange for the bottle.

Shrugging, Ziggs takes a hit. “Both, I guess.” They blow out the smoke and watch it rise.

-

Smoke rises from the end of John’s cigarette. Technically, he’s not supposed to smoke inside PEIP HQ, but no one has stopped him yet. Perks of being in charge, he supposes. He sits alone, on the floor in front of the portal. He takes a drag from the cigarette between his fingers.

One of his hands fidgets with the dog tags hanging from the chain around his neck. One is his, one isn’t. Between them, his wedding band hangs.

The portal begins to light up of its own accord. He doesn’t move, doesn’t try to trigger any alarms, just waits expectantly. A few seconds pass before Wiley steps out, dressed in triple denim, as always.

“Happy anniversary,” he greets John before tossing a green apple at him, sending it in a graceful arc. John holds his cigarette between his lips as he reaches up to catch it.

-

The roll of paper towels hits Emma’s hands perfectly. She grabs them and easily slides them onto the holder sitting on the counter of Paul’s apartment. Paul smiles as he walks out of the pantry, his smile only growing as he watches her. “You know, you could always move in,” he offers not for the first time.

“And you could always move out to the farm,” she replies. She turns and lifts herself up to sit on the counter. She grins at Paul as he walks over, coming to a stop in front of her, her dangling legs on either side of his torso. “...we’re both too stubborn and set in our ways, aren’t we?” she asks as she drapes her arms over his shoulders.

“I think so,” he admits as his hands move to rest on her waist. “I wouldn’t change anything about you though, Emma.”

“Me neither,” she agrees as she leans in to kiss him.

-

Charlotte pulls away from Ted, frowning slightly. “Ted… you know this is just for fun, right?” she questions, her brow furrowing slightly. “I have a husband, we can’t kee-”

“Yeah, yeah, you say that every time.” Ted tries not to scowl. “Just answer the question, Char: Do you love me?”

She twists her wedding ring on her finger. “I- well, no, but that’s not-”

Ted stands abruptly, re-buttoning his shirt as fast as he can manage. “Great,” he says, letting the anger overshadow the hurt in his voice. “Cause I don’t fucking love you either. See you at work.” He walks away and jerks open the door.

-

Sam walks through the doorway into Zoey’s bedroom. It looks so bare. All of the posters are off the walls. A small pile of cardboard boxes sit near the bed, ready to be loaded the next morning. He knew this was coming.

They end up sitting cross-legged on the bed, facing each other. “I’m leaving Hatchetfield tomorrow,” Zoey tells him.

“I know.” He takes her hands in his and she lets him. ”You’re going to be a star.” He means it.

She knows he does. “I’m going to miss you.”

That gets a chuckle from him that in turn makes her giggle. “No you’re not. I’m going to miss you though.” He takes a deep breath. “I love you.”

“I know.” She releases one of his hands to reach up to cup his cheek.

-

Sighing, Becky leans into Tom’s touch as she smiles up at him. She’s exhausted, her shifts at the hospital running her ragged. “You need a break, Beck,” Tom tells her, frowning slightly.

“I don’t have time,” she says with a small shrug and a soft laugh. “The hospital, the patients: they need me.”

“They’re not the only ones.” Tom’s hand shifts so he can run his fingers back through her hair. “But you’re not gonna be there for anyone if you work yourself to death.”

Becky hums playfully. “I’m not sure about that. You ever heard the term skeleton crew?” she asks teasingly, her smile brightening into a grin.

Chuckling, Tom shakes his head. “Y’know, you’re so busy taking care of everyone else, you don’t take care of you.” He leans forward to rest his forehead against hers. “Promise me you’ll work on that?”

-

“I promise!” Ethan presses a hand over his heart as he holds the other up as though he’s taking an oath. 

Lex stifles her laughter. This is serious. ”Well, somebody ate them! It wasn’t me, it wasn’t Hannah!” She glances down and suppresses a giggle. “Plus, you’re the one with powdered sugar on your jeans.”

Ethan freezes, looking down at the incriminating evidence. “That’s… cocaine?”

“Dumbass, we can’t afford cocaine.” Rolling her eyes, she finally lets herself laugh. “Go get some more donuts at least, okay?”

-

“Okay.” Alice beams as she gazes at her phone screen. “I’ll see you over spring break when we’re both back in Hatchetfield?”

Deb gives a lazy grin, her eyes fixated on Alice’s image on her own phone. “Sounds like a great plan, babe.” They fall into a comfortable silence, just watching one another. Finally, Deb breaks the silence. “Good luck on your midterms, Alice. I love you.”

“You too, babe. Talk soon?”

-

“Of course.” Duke grins as he glances back at Miss Holloway on his way out of the diner. “I feel like I eat here more than I do at my own home,” he jokes.

That makes Miss Holloway laugh. “I guess in a way that makes me your wife,” she teases, giggling when Duke’s face flushes red.

Duke pauses in his tracks. He reaches a hand up to scratch the back of his neck before turning and walking back up to the counter. “...can I ask you a question?”

-

“Huh?” Steph looks over at Pete. Super Smash Bros is paused on the TV screen. She sets down the Switch controller. “Yeah, what’s up?”

Pete fidgets with the controller before pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I just wanted to ask… will you go to prom with me?”

A small, genuine grin spreads across Steph’s face. “You know you’re my boyfriend, right? You don’t need to ask.”

“Well, consent is sexy,” Pete counters with a smile of his own, “And I never want to assume anything. So?”

-

“...yeah,” Skud finally says after what feels like hours. The whiskey is half gone and they’ve smoked a couple joints down to roaches. He and Ziggs lay side by side in the bed of the truck, just staring off into literal space. “I think there is something out there.”

“Oh?” Ziggs blinks slowly. “You think it’s better or worse than what we’ve got now?”

A beat passes. “I don’t think it matters. All we’ve got is right now.”

[hatchetfieldtheories]

A Show Stoppin Number - or - Professor Hidgens, could you tell us what foreshadowing is?

There is a running theory that Hidgens was at least in the process of his apotheosis by the time Show Stoppin’ Number happens. Plus I have a theory that apotheosis works by Vampire Diaries rules of metamorphosis - not only does the person have to be infected by the spores, they also have to die. In that theory I mentioned I’d come back to Hidgens later - and then I didn’t. So now I am! And in order to do so, I am going to look at Show Stoppin’ Number a bit closer.

The Theory: Hidgens had become infected after touching the blue goo, it happened slowly but by the time SSN happened, the only stage of his apotheosis he had left was his death. SSN then serves as foreshadowing for the rest of Paul’s story.

Before we delve into SSN, let’s just jump back a bit to his prior scenes. He stops Emma from going with Paul to help Bill, telling her he needs her help with the goo. Which - sure, he needs the help of a botany student in determining this gloop of extraterrestrial origin. I believe it - nothing weird about that at all. While he may not be fully apotheosis-ed at this point (he has just shot Charlotte and Sam) the spores are definitely beginning their work. He is ensuring Paul is living out his hero’s role, and ensuring Emma stays safe in the mansion - afterall she is the thing the hero wants. (A concept I touch on in the TGWDLM rewatch)

He then drugs Emma and Ted, and ties them up to make them witness his musical pitch. I think two things are simultaneously happening here:

Hidgens believes he is doing this because he wants a world of musical theatre to become a reality because that’s his real love.

The apotheosis happening inside him locks on to Emma’s realisation on how to destroy them, and finds a way to stop her.

So now onto SSN.

A show-stopping number is the one song in a musical which literally stops the show for a while, and which once it ends the audience have just witnessed something remarkable and then have to remember they’re watching a full show and need to get back to the story. The two that always jump to mind for me when I hear the term are You Won’t Succeed on Broadway from Spamalot and It’s a Musical from Something Rotten, though I am sure there are plenty of less silly examples. While SSN is certainly a show-stopping number, I think there is something more to the repetition of this phrase.

---

Something to shock 'em,

To bring them a-crawlin'

A big time box office draw

There is a post - somewhere - which discusses how this song is split into two very distinctive voices. You have the Workin Boys bit, and the rest. Workin Boys is very clearly Hidgens’ own work, whereas the rest is likely to be the result of his apotheosis. And it’s that bit where we get this repetition of Show Stoppin’ Number. This is the point where the Hive are about to crack out their big, jaw dropping finale.

---

Spotlight on Mr. Ingenue

The ingenue is described as: a young woman who has little experience and is very trusting - which I think in this situation is supposed to be Paul. He trusts the idea that destroying the meteor will stop the Hive, which is ultimately what the Hive wants him to do.

---

A show stoppin' number

Is something you die for

A real catchy ear-wormy tune

It is during the Hive’s show stopping moment (the meteor) that Paul does die - after being infected and becoming part of an infectious song.

---

That seeps in and out of your pores

A ditty to make the chorus girls swoon

It'll unify humanity

In a thundering chorus

No exits from this Broadway venue

Seeps in and out of your pores isn’t subtle. This is the spores, and once you’re infected, there is no escape. Eventually all of humanity will be united in a singular voice - or thundering chorus.

---

Then we get the whole Workin Boys bit, which now that I am back in the office just feels relatable. Five O’Clock can’t come soon enough, I’m bloody shattered. Workin Boys is Hidgen’s own work and is drastically different to what he has been singing up until this point.

---

An aria to rule them all

Ok Sauron, calm down. An aria is a solo piece, which Hidgens knows. He knows the Hive is one being (Pokey) - they’re all part of a singular voice. I like the dichotomy of a chorus and an aria both being attributed to the Hive as it really drives home that they are both separate and one at the same time.

---

Hamilton move over, your new competition's in town

Yes Hidgens, I'm sure we'll like that just as much as Hamilton.

[westcoastbroadway]

hatchetfield theory time, when did prof hidgens actually get infected?

basically, i don't think hidgens was initially infected at the end of show stopping number like it appears, for a couple reasons.

first, hidgens claims he forecasted this for decades, which means one of two things. 1. he knew the musical aliens were coming and decided to prepare to stop/hide from it OR 2. he knew the musical aliens were coming and decided to prepare by writing a song for the occasion to join them

both of these seem to be true? he's got his whole bunker tricked out and has booze when paul asks for it, but he also wrote show stopping number, allegedly

except these are mutually exclusive. why would someone prepare a fortress for decades but also write a song to give themselves up at the first possible moment? that's counterintuitive. we'll come back to this.

second, lets face it. hidgens is a shit songwriter, if working boys is any indication. the song is comically bad, i think we can all agree

so how did the same person who gave us "what is this business?" also deliver show stopping number?

show stopping number has a completely different skill level than working boys, which is supposedly hidgens magnum opus. it doesn't sound similar, the lyrics are more complex, etc. but you know what it does sound like?

la dee dah dah day.

they've got very similar sounds, they're songs describing the action currently happening, they narrate to non singing characters about the performers aspirations and motivations. in essence, i'm suggesting that hidgens had already undergone apotheosis before show stopping number, and ssn comes from the hivemind, not hidgens himself.

so lets double back. it was always a little sketch to me that a man who was supposedly a paranoid shut-in abruptly decided that the apotheosis was actually a good thing and he should sacrifice himself. in fact, looking at all of hidgen's scenes before he and emma are talking about how to stop the aliens, he doesn't read as potentially treacherous in any way. he comes across terrified.

now, you could make the case for hidgens being a great actor, but i don't think that's it. it would be way easier to just refuse to let in emma and co. or tell them to leave sam unrestrained or not shoot charlotte and sam or not tell bill and paul to go after alice or simply sacrifice himself when the meteor lands. there were so many other options that would have made more sense.

i propose that hidgens never wrote ssn, nor did he ever intend to give himself up. instead, when examining charlotte and sam (who we know cannot die, because the alien zombie things keep coming back over and over) they infected him. emma was likely not in close enough contact to get infected herself, and also we see first hand who is more resistant to the invaders.

paul and emma hate musicals, so they hold out pretty damn long. conversely, hidgens loves musicals. they're his self proclaimed first love. it wouldn't take much convincing to get him to give in to the song, just like sam and alice were able to appeal to charlotte and bill's love.

hidgens being easy to convince also explains why he isn't torn into, at least at first (following this proposed timeline). we know sam loves musicals, and he didnt show any injuries, just like zoey or anyone else in that camp. it's only people who resist that have to be killed instead of merely taken over. so it would make sense if hidgens was infected and on the aliens side for a while before they kill him.

tl;dr, it never made sense to me how hidgens changed his tune (pun intended) so quickly after spending decades preparing for the apocalypse.

[josiecarioca]

“Family...the real one.”

Summary: Emmet “Fin” Finnerty has found the love of his life in Doug Cleary. The next logical step is introducing him to his family...The real one.

Because “family” are those who take you in, when the ones who should love and protect you, fail.

Disclaimer: Fin and Doug are secondary characters of “Post War”, so while thechnically this story happens in the “Harry Potter” universe, it is not a fanfic as much as it is an original story, hence why it’s a tumblr publication alone. Evelyn is in this, but there will be no Snape, no magic and nothing of what my readers are used to see in my stories. I hope you still like it.

Warning: contains domestic violence, homophobia, homophobic slurs and emotions

Tagging, as usual:   @arabellafiggypudding @the-witches-son  @hummingbird-flying-in-the-rain @artisticreptilequeen @viper-official @be-zoar @violet-knox @mafagafobebum @marvelschriss @codename-thedoctor @zealouspickleeggdragon @green-oasis @drawnfromthedead @snapescapades @madshelily @serosvit  @snapecentric @hbprincealice @hayalee8 @lilythemadqueen @paracosim @oliverlandomens​ @sleepysnapesnake

“Family...the real one”

Dublin, Ireland

June 1998

“Full disclosure?” Fin was rambling. He knew he was. He usually did when he was nervous. Doug surely knew that by now. He even claimed he found it “adorable”. Only Doug could say something like that.

Three months. Three months and he was ready to make this official. He knew Doug felt the same. Unlike Fin, he had no problem showing his feeling, shouting them from the rooftops even. That didn't come so easy for Fin. It never did. But now, now he could do just that. Shout it from the rooftops. Make it official. And making it official started here. Introducing him to Lyn. It was a big step.

“Go ahead” Doug smiled, gazing at him with bright blue eyes full of endless patience.

Three months. Three months and Fin was starting to feel like this was it. He had found what he looked for in that handsome, sweet 6'ft tall dork of a man.

“You´re the first boyfriend I introduce to Evelyn since...God, I don't know...1995?”

“And why is that?” Doug asked, somewhat amused. After all, how much of a big deal could this possibly be? Sure, he was about to introduce his new boyfriend to his best friend, obviouly it was important, but how could he begin to explain it wasn´t just that simple?

“You know how it was...back then, I mean. I wasn't really being safe, and Lyn was just so worried about me and I never really thought she would approve of … Nevermind, now it's different. I want you to meet her. It's important.”

Fin looked around. He had picked a good place. The restaurant was nice enough that it felt like an occasion, but casual enough that it didn't seem like he was making a big fuss of it. But he was. It was a big deal. Fin wasn't the 'dating' type. But Doug was not like anybody he met before. Doug has this sort of tranquil aura about him, this kindness in his words and actions, such love in his eyes. Doug made him feel like he could just rest, breathe easy. This time he knew it was different. It just felt different. It felt like it could last.

Doug reached over the table to hold his hand, reassuringly.

“Her opinion means a lot to you, no?”

“Well, yes...this is my family we´re talking about. The real one, you know?”

Doug had been lucky. His parents loved him unconditionally, as parents should. He wasn´t kicked out of the house when he came out, he wasn´t told his entire being, his entire identity was an abomination before God. He wasn't made believe that no matter how good he was, how much of a good Christian he was, he would still go to hell for something he couldn't change. No, his parents loved him, protected him. Fin had also been lucky, but in a different, more complicated way. The family that loved and protected him wasn´t the one he was born into. It was Evelyn's.

“So, you told me you've known each other since you were kids...but, you never really said much more than that...”

That's right, Fin thought. He'd never told him. Not everything. He had to.

“I was friends with her brother growing up...Paul. We went to school together.”

There it was, that bittersweet ache in his heart. He hadn't felt it in a while

“I daresay I had a bit of a crush on him. Sometimes I wonder if he felt the same. But I guess I'll never know.”

“Why not?”

“Paul passed away. There was a fire in their house when he was just eleven. Lyn was there too. Their father pulled her out in time because she was closer to the door, but when he got to Paul it was too late. It happened too fast. ”

“I'm so sorry” Doug seemed stunned out of words. “I didn't know.”

“I didn't tell you. I should have. Specially today....we still have some time before she gets here, so....I think if we're serious about this, then you should meet Evelyn and her family...my family. That's why this is important to me. That you meet her and that you meet them.”

“Ok...So tell me. Tell me about your family, Fin.”

“I guess I should start from the beginning, then...Paul and I, we went to the same school. Catholic school...fun times.” he scoffed “Lyn was just a yar younger than us, and she went to an all girls school. Their father, Mr. Black was the headmaster, there. Paul took her everywhere with us when we weren't at school. Nothing could separate those two...Well, then...Paul passed away, and I was devastated, but her? I don't think there was a word in the entire dictionary that could have described how she was feeling, the poor girl. So I started going there to visit. They were all in such pain that I think Mr. Black let me spend as much time in their house as I wanted because he hoped it would help her. As it turns out it helped me. Being around her was a little like being with him. She looked so much like Paul it was eerie, nearly identical. I swear, if you could have seen them together, you'd swear they were twins. She was different though. Paul was like a hurricane in a boy's body. Lyn was much gentler. Anyway, the years went on and she just became...my sister, in a way. More than my own sister, to be honest. I'm pretty sure my parents expected us to date or something, but she knew, she was the first person I told. So she just came to my house, and smiled and nodded when my mother went on babbling about how we were perfect for each other and whatever nonsense. Then it happened...”

…

Doolin, Ireland

June, 1977

“What do you think?” Evelyn twirled, wrapped in meters of flowy, flowery fabric. The sun that came through the curtains filtered though the fabric, colouring the room.

“What am I looking at?” Emmet put down his magazine and watched her, trying to picture what she planned to do with the material she was showing him.

“My new dress, Fin!” she smiled, calling him by the nickname Paul had come up with years ago. Fin for 'Finnerty'. After Paul died, it was just the two of them. Fin and Lyn. “For my birthday. Since I'll be 15, mam said I can have it however I want.”

“Your birthday is in September!”

“It takes time to make a dress, and my grandma is going to have her hands full with Halloween costumes soon, so she's going to make my dress now. I want it long, with a bodice and medieval sleeves. Like Stevie Nicks in that magazine my dad brought from Dublin. He brought me the new Fleetwood Mac record too, here put it on.”

She set the fabric aside and fished the long play from the big canvas bag she had brought.

Whenever Lyn came over she always brought that huge bag, filled with clothes, magazines, records and books. She knew Fin couldn´t have any of that stuff at home. His mother didn't allow him to wear anything more colorful than a blue dress shirt for sunday mass, and his father was the one who decided which records, books or magazines were allowed in the house. Which meant no fashion or entertainment mags, no rock or pop music, and no books that seemed “suspicious”, which was pretty much anything that wasn't a school textbook. If not for Evelyn's father Emmet wouldn't even have read Oscar Wilde.

She handed him the record and he put it on, in the old record player Evelyn had snuck in for his last birthday. Her mother had got a new one, so she let Fin have the old 1967 Magnavox. His parents had no idea he had that thing in the bedroom, so he had to keep the volume low enough that his parents wouldn't hear it downstairs, or that they'd just think he had the radio on.

“We should ask my dad to take us next time he goes to Dublin. He promised me new shoes for my birthday. Red leather ones. With heels, I'm old enough for heels now. They only have those in Dublin.” Evelyn suggested, as both of them lay on the floor, staring at the reflection of the sun on the ceilling.

“You know my parents won't let me go.”

“They will if my dad is taking us. Or even better, if mam comes too. Your mother goes to church with her, of course she's going to let you go if she's with us. She's better to shop with anyway.”

“Maybe.” he trailed, knowing it wouldn't happen.

“We can buy some things for Halloween costumes. You should ask my grandma to make you one as well.Ooh, you know what? We can go as John Steed and Emma Peel! All you'll need is a suit, an umbrella and a hat, and grandma Liz can make me a jumpsuit. That purple one, with the chains! Or you want do do something spooky?”

“We´re not kids, anymore, Lyn.” he laughed

“And?”

“You really want to dress up for Halloween? We´re too old for that.”

“My grandparents still dress up for Halloween.” she scoffed

“It's different.”

“How?”

“They're...old-old. When you get to be their age you can do whatever you want.”

“They're not that old. I mean, if you...”

Evelyn's sentence was cut short by loud banging on the door. Emmet scrambled to his feet to turn off the music and toss a blanket over the record player. His father never banged on his door more than twice before yanking it open without waiting for an answer.

“You, downstairs now.” he barked at Emmet, before turning to Evelyn “And you can go back home, young lady. I need to talk to my son”

Emmet felt his stomach drop. His father never bothered to 'talk' to him, unless he was in trouble.

Evelyn picked up her things in a hurry and shoved it all back inside her bag, glancing over her shoulder at him all the while. She looked like she wanted to say something, but didn't know what.

“Now!” his father thundered from the stairs.

Emmet was frozen in place.

“Emmet is just helping me with my things, Mr. Finnerty. We'll be right there.” Evelyn answered, her voice slightly breaking.

“Come on...” she told him, holding his arm. “I'll go with you.”

“You have to go home.” he finally found his voice and his feet moved.

Emmet felt her hand grab his as they climbed down the stairs. His father was walking around the livingroom in circles, while his mother was talking to somebody. He heard her apologizing profusely. Then he realized why. She was talking to Connor Walsh's mother. As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Mrs Walsh shot him a disgusted look on her way out.

“Evelyn, dear, you can go now.” Mrs. Finnerty said, and Emmet noticed she had a piece of  paper in her shaky hands. He knew that piece of paper. He looked at Evelyn, feeling like the world was a minute away from crashing down onto his head. She  looked back at him, knowingly. He had told her about Connor...about the letter. She knew. He felt her hand squeeze his again.

“I won't.” she whispered.

Emmet didn't want her to go. But he also didn't want her to stay. He didn't want her to see what he knew was about to happen.

Neither of them had the time to say anything else. His father snatched the letter from his mother's hand and grabbed Emmet by the collar, nearly shoving the paper into his face.

“Did you write this?” he roared

Emmet couldn't find his voice. He felt warm tears swelling in his eyes. He could hear his mother's voice, asking his father to let him go and telling Evelyn to just go already.

“Did you write this drivel, lad?! Answer!” his father insisted, pushing the letter into his chest.

“Answer, Emmet!” his mother was crying “This is just a prank isn't it?”

It was over.

There was no point in lying, he had the letter right there. His mother might try to lie to herself, to convince him it was nothing, but it was there, plain for anyone to see it. They read it. They knew. He was sure they had already heard the rumors, the talk, the othe boys calling him this and that.

They knew it. They couldn´t pretend they didn't

“I did.” he  barely whispered.

Next thing he knew he felt his body hit the wall in full force. It didn't even hurt. It didn´t feel real.

Evelyn screamed and, from the corner of his eye, he saw her run to him. His father stepped in front of her.

“You get out of my house now, before I drag you home to your father, so he can teach you to mind your own business, lass.”

“Fin, I'll be right back!” she cried, running out the front door.

“What the devil were you thinking writing this?!” his father pulled him to his feet by his shirt.

“Stephen, let the lad go. This was just a game, just stupid prank. Tell him, Emmet, tell him this isn't serious.”

This was it.

They knew it.

They read it.

There was no turning back now.

“I did it, mam. I did it, I wrote it. It wasn't a prank, I really wrote it.”

“You hear it, Edith?! Your son can't even have the decency to be ashamed!”

“Why?! Why would you do something like this?!”

“You know why!” Emmet nearly screamed, overwhelmed, dizzy “You read it, didn't you? You know why! Iwrote it because I love him!”

His parents stared at him as if they were looking at something alien, something they couldn´t comprehend.

“Mam...dad...” he felt the tears run down his cheeks, burning. But he refused to cry, to sob. He wouldn't do that. “I'm gay.”

Emmet had expected his father to hit him.

What he didn't expect was for his mother to slap him.

But she did. She slapped him hard across the face and left the room. Like it was nothing. Like he was nothing.

Anything after that didn't hurt. He didn't even feel it.

It was as if he had left his body. He could vaguely discern some broken words, something about “bringing filth into his house”, “shame” and “hell”...he could see the blows coming, and his body acted on instinct, raising his arms to protect his head, his face. But he didn't feel it. He didn't feel any of it.  He just cowered on the corner and closed his eyes, praying it would be over soon. Praying he would get tired eventually. Before he hurt him too bad. Before...

“Stephen, what the devil are you doing?!” Emmet knew that voice, that deep voice filling the air around them like thunder. “Have you lost your mind?!”

The blows stopped and he opened his eyes.

Mr. Black was standing right there, with both his arms around his father, draging him away.

“Let me go, Marius!” his father shouted, like a man possessed, while Mr. Black kept holding him back.

“Leave the boy alone, Stephen! You're trying to kill him?”

Emmet tried to get up but he was too dizzy.

“Fin, are you ok?” Evelyn was kneeling next to him, frantically pushing his hair away form his face.

“You called your dad?” he was terrified.

“Of course I did!” she helped him up.

He heard a loud thump and looked up. Mr. Black had flung his father onto the armchair, and was now standing, looming over him. He looked taller than Emmet remembered him, much taller. And his father, sitting on the chair looked so small by comparison.

“Enough!” Mr. Black boomed, and Emmet could had sworn the ground under his feet trembled.

“You don't get it, Marius! You don't know what this...what this boy did!”

“Whatever it was, it doesn't justify this!” Mr. Black took off his thick rimmed glasses and pinched the brigde of his nose, in evident frustration.

His father got back to his feet, standing right in front of Mr. Black and he still looked small.

“This none of your business!”

“You made it my business when you sent my daughter back home in tears, scared out of her wits that you were going to kill her friend!”

“Then take your daughter back home and let ME handle what happen in MY house!” He pushed past Mr. Black and barrelled towards Emmet.

Mr. Black tried to hold him back, but he took a swing at him. Emmet and Evelyn both screamed, but Mr. Black managed to dodge it. He reached for his father again, shoving him so he'd back off.

“Linnie, get Emmet out of here!” Mr. Black told his daughter, and Lyn tried to pull him by his arm, but Emmet couldn't move.

“Stephen, for the love of God, stop! You'll regret this!”Mr. Black pleaded, stepping between Emmet and his father.

“What do you know, Marius?! You don't have a fecking faggot living under your roof! Count your blessings, Marius, because I rather have a dead son than this!”

For a second, a long, agonising second, time seemed to stand still. Emmet could see it on his father's face that he had regretted those words the moment they left his mouth. Not because of what they meant to Emmet. No, he knew his father meant every bit of that. But because he knew, of all the things he could have said to Mr. Black, that was the wrong one.

Emmet had known Mr. Black his entire life. He never saw him raise his voice, he had never seen him angry. He was a gentle man. A man who took them birdwatching on weekends, who bought them magazines and records whenever he went to Ennis or Dublin, who told them about his favorite poets and painters. Emmet didn't think he was physically capable of being anything other than gentle and kind.

But in that moment, he changed.

Emmet never thougth he'd see Mr. Black punch somebody. But he did it. A single punch, right to the side of his father face, so strong, so sudden, he fell to the floor  like rotten fruit falls from a tree.

“Never” he growled in a voice that didn't sound like his voice at all “you hear me, NEVER talk about my son again! You heard me, Stephen!? NEVER! I promise you, you mention my boy ever again, and it will be the end of your sorry life upon this Earth, I promise you!”

“I didn't mean it like, that, you know I didn't...” Emmet watched with disgust as his father tried to get back on his feet, stumbling, humiliated.

“I know exactly what you meant! And you know what you meant, you dirty coward!”

He kept trying to make excuses, but Mr. Black would have none of it.

“You don't know, you have no idea, what it is to bury a child, and I hope to God you never find out.” his voice was calmer, but there was a frightening coolness to it “Are you out of your damned mind?! This is your son! Standing right there while you´re wishing him dead! What I wouldn't give to trade places with you! To have my boy here, alive, like him!”

Emmet was numb. He felt Evelyn rest her head against his shoulder and weep, softly. He wanted to hug her, to do something, anything. But all he could was stare. Stare at his father, trying and failing to stand up to her father, as Mr. Black towered over him, his face filled with righteous, godly, ice-cold anger. And he felt so embarrassed, so ashamed that this man, this petty, pathetic, bumbling excuse of a man was his father.

“Easy for you to say, Marius, but if Paul had been a...”

“I won't hear my son's name from your mouth again, Stephen. Paul is dead. And if I could have him back, I would have him however he was. Trust me, nothing can worse than a dead child. Nothing!”

“That's a pretty sentiment coming from somebody who doesn´t have to live with THAT under your roof! But I won't stand for this! I won't have this in my house!”

“Fine, I'll take him!”

“What?!”

“You don't want him under your roof? I'll solve that problem for you, then. I'll take him. However he is. I'll take him.”

…

“What on earth happened to you, dear?” Mrs. Black seemed horrified when she laid eyes on him, as Lyn walked him throught the front door. Emmet, still dazed, wondered how bad he must have looked for her react that way. She put her hand on his cheek, and her blue eyes were filled with something he couldn't describe. “What has he done to you?”

Only then did he cry. Only then did he allow himself to sob.

It was Evelyn's mother who held him in her arms as he had, so foolishly, hoped his mother would.

“I...I...told them I...I'm sorry, I...” he pulled back and wiped his tears, suddenly aware that...she didn't know. Mrs. Black went to church with his mother. She didn't know he was...  A rush of panic coursed through him. What would she say? He couldn't. He couldn't go through this twice.

“Take a breath, pet.” she told him, pulling him to sit on the couch. “Linnie, love, go get the first aid kit in the kitchen, we need to patch this lad up a bit. And try not to alarm your sister, if you will. And where is your father?”

“He's waiting for Mrs. Finnerty to get him all of Fin's...I mean, Emmet's stuff.”

Mrs. Black nodded, as if she knew something. As if she had been expecting to be told exactly that. Lyn looked at her mother with the same knowing expression in her eyes and went to the kitchen as intructed.

Emmet felt like runnning away, as far away as he could.

“Mr. Black he said...I'm sorry,I have to...I have to go back, I can't...”

“Emmet, calm down.”

“Mrs. Black, I know you don't want me here. I...I'm...I mean, I...told my parents...”

“I know, pet. I know.”

“No you don't...”

“Emmet, my darling, why do you think I allow you to be in Linnie's room for hours with the door closed? I'm not stupid.” she laughed softly.

“How?”

“A mother just knows...”

“Mine didn't.”

“If she let your father do this, then she's not that competent of a mother is she?” Mrs. Black scoffed. “But, trust me...a mother knows.”

Then it clicked. Then he knew.

“You mean...” he trailed, stunned “...Paul?”

“I carried him inside me 9 months, I birthed him, clothed, fed him, cared for him till the day he left this Earth. Nobody knew him better than I did, except God.”

“God...” he spat out “My mother thinks God will send me to hell. Because the Bible says...”

“Oh pish-posh...I pray on the Bible as well as any Christian, but Jesus knows where I would be if I took  everything it's written in there so seriously. Thou shall now lay with a man, and whatnot, fine, but you don't see anybody that eager to give up their breakfast bacon because the Bibles says it's forbidden, now do you? Your parents didn't stone your sister in the town square when she left the house married for two days and pregnant for 2 months, did they? Like we all didn't know.  Enough of this nonsense, now, we need to get you fixed up. God, you're bleeding.”

“So I really can stay?”

“Do you want to stay?”

…

“So I stayed.” Fin smiled. He looked up at Doug and took a deep breath, hoping he didn't think it was sillly that he had tears in his eyes over this. But all he saw in Doug's expression was understanding...and love. So much of it.

“I stayed until we both left for college, Lyn and I. She studied history and I went for journalism.Mrs. Black was the one who got me my first camera, then Mr Black gave me my first professional camera, and books about photography and journalism. They did everything for me that a mother and a father would do. I stilll go back with Lyn to spend the holidays with them. Well, with her...He passed away a few months ago. His heart. Funny that of all things, it was his heart that would kill him.”

Doug's hands closed over his.

“Thank you.” he said, quietly. “For telling me all this. I know it wasn't easy.”

“I...” he didn't finish. Over Doug's shoulder he saw the restaurant door open, and Evelyn walk in, wrapped in a long, flowy, flowery dress. “There she is.”

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 22

A/N:  So this chapter actually marks the end of the plot line of the movie “The Devil Wears Prada” -- I’m sure the dialogue after the Zamboni driver game from last chapter and the “By all means, move at a glacial place, you know how that thrills me” line was a bit of a hint.  Also, we’re striking that last scene where Andie apologizes to Nate in the restaurant because she had absolutely nothing to apologize for 😤 ANYWAYS, this means that from this point, up until maaaaaybe the final FINAL chapters (whenever this thing ends, because I still don’t know when), all content and storyline is original and not based on the movie, although it will still obviously be inspired by it.  We love consistency!  Have a great read, and enjoy!  Let me know what you think as always!

February 24th, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom watched as Brendan and Kyle were answering phones left, right, and centre.

Seriously.  At one point, Kyle had three on his ears.  He didn’t have three ears.  All because of the damned trade deadline.  And it was still only 9:30 in the morning.  

The room was set up the way she was told to set it up; prepared how Brendan wanted it prepared.  Every major voice for both the Leafs and the Marlies was in the room – Brendan, Kyle, Brandon, Dave, Reid, Leanne, Sheldon, Paul, Dave, Andrew, Jim, Troy, and even Laurence, Mike, Greg, AJ, and Rob from the Toronto Marlies.  At the front of the room, on the whiteboard, there were the names of all the players – even those in the system – glued to magnets so they could move them around.  On the other side were magnets with names of some other players from teams that they’d been looking at bringing in through a trade.  Three phones were hooked up in the room, and Brendan and Kyle were on their cellphones a lot.  There was a TV set up for video playback and hooked up to Reid’s laptop.  Brendan would exit and enter the board room at will while he was on his phone.  So would Kyle.  Kyle was dealing with most of the possible cap stuff.  There were worksheets everywhere.  

And in the back of Aberdeen’s mind, all she could think about was Tyson Barrie.

He’d been on her mind since the drive home, really, and since all the ramp up for the trade deadline started.  And she couldn’t help but wonder if Brendan and Kyle knew of him wanting to be traded and him being unhappy.  Did Brendan and Kyle concern themselves with the private lives of their players?  Even if the player said nothing?  That was the ultimate question Aberdeen needed answered, because now that she recognized all the clues, it was glaringly obvious to her how much Tyson wanted out.  She hadn’t said anything, obviously.  His name magnet wasn’t moving around much, but she knew how much he wanted to be moved.  She was conflicted.  

“This motherfu…” she heard Brendan mumble as he looked down at his phone.  “Can someone post a memo to the entire fucking league that we’re not trading Nylander, for fuck sakes,” he announced to the room.  “The core isn’t on the fucking table unless Connor Mc-fucking-David is in the mix.”

Aberdeen let out a shaky breath she didn’t know she was holding in.  William being traded was not, for some reason, a worry of hers, if only because everyone knew he was having a banner year and Kyle had made explicitly clear that he wasn’t going to be traded so long as he was GM.  

Kapanen.

Johnsson.  

Gauthier.

Holl.

Ceci.

“It’s not in his contract but Spezza won’t go anywhere.  He wants to be here.”

“If Johnsson goes it’s one less player we offer up to Seattle when the time comes.”

“Can Kappy go?  He’s good bait.  He’s got a friendly contract.”

It didn’t help that everything ended at 3pm.  It also didn’t help that they had a charter flight waiting for them at 4:30 to take them to Tampa for their game tomorrow.  Aberdeen didn’t know how they were going to handle this timeline.  What if they made a blockbuster trade?  What if someone was shipped off to the west coast at 2:59pm and had to uproot his whole life?  Everybody in the room wasn’t exactly calm, but she didn’t know how they could take about trading these players as if they were cattle being moved.  She knew this happened in all sports, but now that she was a part of it (well, in the room – it wasn’t like she was making decisions), it made everything more complicated for her.  

��Tyson’s staying.  Tyson – no – Tyson – Tyson is – Tyson is staying,” she heard Brendan repeating to Kyle, in what looked like a semi-private conversation.  She couldn’t hear some of the other things he was saying, but some words were said loud enough.  Contract.  Avalanche.  Kadri trade.  Defense.  Rielly-Barrie.  

Happy.

Aberdeen gulped.  Did Brendan think he was happy here?  Did Kyle?  Because she knew the exact opposite.  She knew Tyson wasn’t, but she was sworn to secrecy by Tyson that she wouldn’t say a word to Brendan.  But Brendan was wrong.  Tyson wanted out.  

Should…should she say something?

She liked Tyson.  She wanted to see him happy.  It was complicated, though, because she had no loyalty to him.  She did, in a way, as an acquaintance – as someone who overheard a private conversation and then was asked not to share the details of it – but she had more loyalty to Brendan.  Her boss.  The guy who was trying to build a team that would win the Stanley Cup.  The guy that her job depended on.  

“Aberdeen.”

Like, who was she loyal to the most?  If she actually said something to Brendan, would Tyson hate her forever?  Would the entire team turn their back on her and hate her forever too?  Because she couldn’t shut her mouth?  Because she was a tattle-tale and exposed—

“Aberdeen.”

—exposed a secret of one of the players to the boss?  But that secret was tied to his mental health.  It’s not like she saw a guy hook up with a teammate’s girlfriend or escort or do blow off a toilet seat or something.  This was integral to the well-being of a player—

“Aberdeen!”

She snapped out of her thoughts to see and hear Brendan calling her over.  She jumped out of her seat and ran over to him.  “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.  Sorry.  What do you need?”

“I think Chipotle is in order for lunch for everyone,” he said.  “Do you mind taking everyone’s orders?”

Seventeen Chipotle orders later, Aberdeen was waiting in the restaurant at a bar table, most definitely holding up the line that was starting to form due to her massive order.  She took out her phone and saw that William had texted her a heart earlier but she hadn’t seen it.  He had the day off.

how bad does tyson want out of Toronto? be honest

how do u know?

i overheard him and emma talking when they drove me home once is it really bad?

can i call u?

no

it’s not that he doesn’t like it here bc he loves the guys and he likes the city well he really didn’t like babs i think that’s a given but he found it really hard to transition from colorado to here like he couldn’t adjust and support wise he didn’t or doesn’t feel he’s been supported enough and he’s trying his hardest to mesh within the lines and be the guy he was in colorado but he just can’t and it’s driving him crazy

Aberdeen felt herself take a deep breath.  Not that she thought the conversation in the car was out of the blue or a one-off, but at least she had confirmation from another source now.  She couldn’t help but wonder if Tyson talked to the guys on the team about it.  Like, was it an open secret between them?  

why r u asking minskatt

She knew she’d have to lie about that one.  Even though William was her boyfriend, she couldn’t reveal any secrets of what was happening in that war room.  If she did, Brendan would probably put her head in a guillotine.  

all i see on twitter and the sports channels is us moving him they think they’re in the war room with us but they’re not and it’s just funny to me that they already think it’s a done deal

welcome to the toronto media i am getting traded too, haven’t u heard 😉

Aberdeen smiled.  He was such a little shit.  

you’re never leaving me.

never, minskatt ❤️

“Alright, I got seventeen bowls!” the cashier yelled, and Aberdeen knew that was her cue.  They were all stuffed into multiple bags and labelled appropriately, so she handed over the company card to pay.  Holding the four bags in both hands, she made her way back towards the office.  

When she got back, it was very chaotic.  The reports were now everywhere.  Half the people in the room had left to do God knows what.  Kyle was frustrated on the phone with someone.  And Brendan was nowhere to be seen.  “You might want to find him,” Kyle said as Aberdeen handed him his burrito bowl.  His hand was covering the receiver.  

Aberdeen nodded frantically.  She stopped putting all the burrito bowls on the table where people had been sitting, but for some reason grabbed Brendan’s before she began running around the halls, popping into rooms to search for him.  He was nowhere.  She tried texting and calling.  Nothing.  She thought about screaming his name down the hall.  Her mind was getting the best of her.  Why did Kyle need him?  Who was he on the phone with?  

Were they about to make a trade for Tyson?

She needed to find him.  She needed to tell him.

After circling the halls twice, she finally saw him walking, his winter jacket on, phone to his ear before ending the call and walking towards the board room.  “Brendan, Brendan, wait.  I need to talk to you,” she scurried to his side.  “Tyson Barrie wants to be moved.  He told—I overheard a conversation between him and his girlfriend in the car once when they were driving me home after a flight about how deeply unhappy he was here and how he sort of knew he was going to get traded or at least wanted to get traded somewhere so he wouldn’t have to be here and have the pressure on him and maybe be happy again and I promised him I wouldn’t say anything to you but now I am because I thought that maybe if I told you, that you could fix it—”

“Do I smell chicken?” Brendan asked suddenly, taking off his jacket.  

Aberdeen stopped.  Her brain felt like it just short-circuited.  “What?  No.  I—I specifically told them the beef bowl for you—”

“If I have chicken in mine, I will be very disappointed,” he said, taking his burrito bowl from her hands and giving her his jacket instead before disappearing into the conference room, leaving Aberdeen standing there in shock.  

***

The New York Rangers traded Brady Skjei for a first round pick.  The Edmonton Oilers acquired Tyler Ennis, who Aberdeen knew was one of Bee McTavish’s best friends.  Patrick Marleau went to the Pittsburgh Penguins.

But the Leafs stayed quiet.  Calle Rosen came back.  That’s it.  Tyson wasn’t moved.  He was staying a Toronto Maple Leaf.  Aberdeen wondered what he was feeling right now.  She wondered if he and Emma already had their bags packed for nothing.  As everybody went home, Aberdeen cleaned up the boardroom.  When it was time to go to the airport, she went to her desk to grab her suitcase.  Brendan was waiting outside his office.  

The walk to the town car was quiet.  The loading of their suitcases into the trunk was quiet.  The getting into the back of the car together was quiet.  The sitting there as Lou drove through the downtown streets and onto the highway to get to the airport was quiet.  

“You thought I didn’t know…” Brendan began, his voice low as he stared out the window.  When she heard his voice, Aberdeen turned her head slowly towards him.  “I’ve known what was happening for quite some time.  It just took me a while to find out what to do with Tyson.  A few teams were interested, and were probably willing, come July, to make him absurdly overpaid that he would have jumped at it.  But I had to tell everyone he was unavailable.”

Aberdeen felt a shiver run up her spine.  Unavailable?  If Brendan knew Tyson wanted to be moved – if he knew how unhappy he was – then why wouldn’t he move him?  

“The truth is, there is no-one available in the league right now that can fill his place on our team, regardless of how unhappy he is,” Brendan continued.  “Any of the other players would have found this job impossible and the team would have suffered.  Especially because of the way the media is here.  The list of writers, journalists, media personalities, analysts…they eat the players alive.  It takes a very special type of player to want to play in Toronto.  That’s why it was, and is still, such a big deal that John came home.  Hockey is a business, Aberdeen.  I’ve known for a while he was unhappy.  But I couldn’t trade him.  I couldn’t reconsider.”

Aberdeen took a deep breath.  And there it was.  Tyson Barrie was more valuable deeply unhappy here than he was happy somewhere else.  The realization hit her like a ton of bricks.  Hockey was a business, just like Brendan said.  Despite her best intentions, good people had to make tough decisions – Brendan’s was to keep Tyson on the team.  Brendan wanted to win more than anything, and he still thought he could do that with Tyson.

“But I was very, very impressed, by how intently you tried to warn me,” Brendan continued, finally looking at her.  Aberdeen found it hard to meet his eye, not showing any emotion on her face.  “I never thought I would say this, Aberdeen, but I really…I see a great deal of myself in you.  You can see beyond what people want and what they need…and you can choose for yourself.”

Aberdeen shook her head slightly.  “I don’t think I’m like that.  I – I could do what you just did to Tyson.  I couldn’t do something like that.”

“Hmph…but you already did,” Brendan said.  “To Peter.”

Aberdeen’s eyes bulged out dramatically.  “That’s not what I – no, that was different.  I didn’t have a choice.”

“Oh no no no, you chose,” Brendan said sternly.  “You chose to get ahead.  You want to be successful in this life, those choices are necessary.”

Aberdeen felt like she was about to cry.  She could feel her cheeks redden.  “But what if this isn’t what I want?  I mean, what if I don’t want to live the way you live or be in a career the way you conduct your career?  Not caring about people’s happiness and only caring about success.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Aberdeen.  Everybody wants this.  Everybody wants to be successful.  Even writers.”

Aberdeen hadn’t even noticed Lou had stopped the car because they’d arrive at the airport.  She could only watch as the door unlocked and Brendan slipped on his sunglasses for the bright winter sun, getting out of the car and walking back to the trunk to get his suitcase.  Aberdeen took a minute to process everything.  What Brendan had just said.  What he revealed to her.  

Dumb.  She was so dumb.  And she still had so much to learn.  

Aberdeen was quiet as she walked into the airport with Brendan.  She was quiet as they checked in, quiet as they walked to their private hangar, quiet as she saw some of the boys and quiet as she plopped down into a seat, stuffing her headphones into her ears.  She knew she should be thankful to be spending her 22nd birthday in Florida, but now, all she could think about was the conversation she’d just had with Brendan.  Even William arriving almost didn’t even register with her.

She napped on the plane, not wanting to deal with hockey for at least an hour of her day.  

***

The hotel was taking too long to get the key cards and reservations sorted for everyone.  Aberdeen tried not to huff and puff, but she was tired.  She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to out for dinner.  After the stress of the last two days, and especially today, she just wanted to get under the covers of her bed and sleep.  Sleep would make her happy again.  More than anything, she wanted to be in a good mood for her birthday tomorrow, even if she was working.

“Ab-er-deeeeeeeen Blooooooooom,” the way-too-perky helper called out her name.  Aberdeen approached her and got her room key, mumbling a thank you.  She was on the 5th floor.  

Auston had followed behind her, grabbing his as well.  When they rejoined the loosely assembled group, he took a look at her.  “You look really tired, Aberdeen,” he commented.

She glared at him.  She couldn’t believe the audacity of him.  She’d just been up for almost two days straight because of the stupid trade deadline.  Lucky for him that he didn’t have to work the last two days.  And lucky for him that he didn’t have to worry about being traded like most of the other guys on the team.  He could at least sleep at night knowing he wasn’t going to be traded for the next five years.  “You can just say I look like shit, you know,” she deadpanned.  

Auston’s eyes bulged out.  “No no no—I didn’t mean—”

“Whatever, Auston,” she grumbled, shaking her head.  “I know I look like shit, alright?  I don’t need you to tell me.”

“Aberdeen, I didn’t mean it like that at all—”

“It’s fine,” she shook her head again, grabbing her suitcase and dragging it behind her as she stomped away from him.  She didn’t have time for his excuses or for him trying to cover up his tracks.  She practically punched the elevator button so she could go up to her room before everybody else.  Screw waiting for everyone.  

She was barely able to unpack her toiletries into her washroom before the first text came through on her phone.  Of course, it was William.

saw u stomping away what happened?

She wasn’t exactly going to tell him what Auston said because God knows what he would do.

I’m just tired Willy.  I’ve practically been up for 48 hours.

but u need to eat

I’ll order room service, but I’m not going out for dinner.

She left it at that.  She heard her phone buzz a few times afterwards but she made a conscious decision not to answer it.  She needed to be alone with her thoughts instead.  She didn’t need to be around Auston telling her she looked tired.  She didn’t need to be around Willy who would be staring at her all night.  She didn’t need to be around Mitch and his hyperactive puppy personality.  She didn’t need to be around Tyson who was probably sulking at the fact that he wasn’t trad—

A knock.

She took her sweet time going to open it.  When she did, she was greeted with Jason Spezza and Jake Muzzin on the other side.  She almost wanted to shut the door in their face but knew that would be the rudest thing she’d ever done.  “We’re going for tacos.  You in?”

“No.”

It was actually Jake who looked more taken aback by her statement than Jason.  She figured it was because Jason knew better.  “No to tacos?  I think that’s the first time in my life I’ve ever heard anyone say no to tacos.”

Aberdeen cracked a half smile.  “Have fun guys, but I’m exhausted.  I’ve been up for like two days because of the deadline.”

“That’s all the more reason for you to get a healthy meal in,” Jake pressed.  

Before she could politely decline again, she saw two figures out of the corner of her eye walking down the hallway towards them.  One was William – she could figure him out from miles away just by how his hair looked – but once the other came into focus, a lump formed in her throat.  Tyson was with him.  

“We goin’ for tacos or what?” Tyson asked.  There was a smile on his face.  A fake one for sure, Aberdeen thought, all things considering.

And then it happened.  She felt the blood and emotion rush to her cheeks, and she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt and responsibility for the man that was standing in front of her right now.  She’d tried to help him and her attempt failed.  And in that attempt to help, she betrayed him.  She couldn’t even look him in the eye.  “Please, just go,” she shook her head.  

“What?  What’s going on?” Jake looked in between Tyson and Aberdeen.

“Will you guys just leave me alone?” she pleaded, her voice strained as she felt tears well in her eyes.  “Please.  I’m so tired and I’m so—”

“Inside your room, now,” Jason pointed to her bed, not even waiting for her to make the first move, and instead just walking in himself.  Everybody followed – everybody except William – who took his spot leaning on the doorway so he wasn’t actually in her room.  But he was watching.  And every muscle in his body wanted to walk in with everyone.

“What’s going on?” Jason asked softly.  “What’s the real issue here?”

Aberdeen shook her head.  She still couldn’t look Tyson in the eye, but when she could, she almost broke down.  It took every ounce of strength in her not to burst out crying and maintain some type of composure.  “I’m so sorry.  I tried, I really tried—” she began.

“Tried what?” Tyson asked.

She hesitated.  “Listen, I know – I’ll understand if you hate me forever because of this – I know you told me not to tell Brendan what I heard Emma say in the car, but I couldn’t help it,” she began.  Tyson’s face visibly softened.  “I thought that maybe if I told him he’d actually deal you out, and you could be—you could be happy again, you know, or at least somewhere where—”

“Aberdeen—”

“—but he couldn’t, and he didn’t, and I just feel horrible for betraying you by telling him and I feel so responsible now for everything that happened and I can’t live with myself—”

“—Aberdeen, are you apologizing right now because I wasn’t traded?” Tyson asked.  Aberdeen didn’t respond.  “Aberdeen, come on.  You’re not the general manager or the president.”

“But I could have helped—”

“No, you couldn’t have,” he shook his head.  Though his words were short there was a softness and a sentimentality in his voice, even a hint of surprise that she’d even go so far as to feel responsible for not being able to deal him to another team.  He understood what she was getting at, understood why she was mad and was feeling this way, but ultimately, he was shocked that she was getting so emotional over it.  “You’re not responsible for that sort of stuff, Aberdeen.  I know you were trying to help, and I thank you for that, but the responsibility of what happens on trade deadline day falls on absolutely nobody in this room, not least the personal assistant to the president.”

She sniffled slightly.  “I just thought that if I told him he’d be more inclined—”

“It doesn’t work that way,” he shook his head, looking her in the eye.  “But thanks.  I appreciate what you did in its own way.  Just remember that it’s not your job to write the narrative.”

He was telling that to an aspiring writer.  Go figure.  But Aberdeen took in the words, really took them to heart, as she nodded her head quickly.  “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.  And I don’t hate you,” Tyson said.  “I see where you’re coming from.  Just maybe don’t try to do it again.”

She let out the slightest of chuckles.  “Yeah, I think that’s best.”

“William?  What are you doing in Aberdeen’s room?”

Everybody whipped their heads towards the doorway to see Brendan Shanahan peeking in.  Aberdeen thanked the fucking Lord (and would probably pray the entire rosary tonight) over the fact that she was able to control her emotions and not cry during the interaction, and also that two of the men currently in her room were married with children and the other had a serious girlfriend or else it would all look very suspicious.  Brendan took a few steps in and saw Jason, Jake, and Tyson.  He didn’t look suspicious, but he didn’t exactly look happy.  He had a neutral look Aberdeen couldn’t make out.  “I’m not sure if I like four of you in Aberdeen’s room like this,” he said.  

“That’s my fault,” Jake piped up immediately.  “I was forcing her to come out to eat with us.  I was making sure she had at least something to eat since she kept saying no.  Tys and Spezz followed to make sure, too.”

Brendan’s look became much more neutral at Jake’s words.  “Hmm…I get it.  Healthy meals and all.  But she can order room service if she doesn’t want to go out.  She’s been up for the past two days almost.”

Jake smiled.  “Her words exactly.  We were literally just on our way out.”

“Have fun boys,” he said, dismissing them.  “And I’ll see you tomorrow, Aberdeen.”

She nodded.  Everybody filed out of her room, each one of the giving her one last look before leaving.  William was last, of course, letting his look linger for longer than the rest before letting the door close behind him.  She let out a deep breath.

love how that was the closest we’ve ever been to getting caught and i wasn’t even in ur room

The text came from William not even two minutes after he left.  Leave it to him to make light of it, she thought.  But it was the following text that got her thinking.

can u tell how the boys wouldn’t say a word now?

[snowspryte15]

Thoughts on Cruella

Let me ask you a question:Have you noticed the increase in stories about making villains more relatable to us, and even giving them something that seemed to be lacking in all the fairytales we all know so well?

Something like humanity?

Here’s the thing: no one is truly born evil, and to quote a line from Once Upon A Time, “Evil isn’t born; it’s made.” Perhaps the baddies were actually good people who were capable of being happy, finding love, and living their best lives. But unfortunately, a chain of events or even people who wronged them would lead them down a dark path that is often very hard to come back from.  In other words, the stories and characters we know isn’t always black and white. (See what I did there?) You can say whatever you want about making villains relatable or even showing sympathy to them, but I stand by my humble opinion that the updated version of the fairytales and stories we grew up not only gives us a glimpse into the heroes and making them more like us, but also the villains because their more than just the 2D stock characters we grew up with over the years. In other words, it gives everyone more DEPTH.  The same is true for Cruella. I realize many of you are starting to (if you aren’t already) get tired of films making the villains more relatable or even giving us a villain to show sympathy for. And I get that. But let me ask you this: is the world we see today always black and white to you? Should it always has to be good vs. evil when there are layers underneath the goodness and the evil that’s in this world? Should we automatically assume that all of the bad things that happen on the news are caused by bad people? I think you know the answer to this: no. We’re all capable of being good people, no matter what society tells us.  But the fact that we’re all born to be originals and not copies of another individual but being told that we have to be “perfect” or “thin” or “beautiful” or “handsome” or any of those labels is what draws people to the dark side, and that includes giving into power, greed, malice, and hatred. And here’s something else to think about - we’re always told by those around us, whether that’s our loved ones or complete strangers, to hide what makes us unique or even brilliant because it may not sit well with everyone. That’s another reason why some people go towards the dark side. And on another level, they use what makes them unique to stand out in not-so pleasant ways, instilling fear into others by what they say and do.  Both cases aren’t right, not by a long shot. Now do you see why not everything is black and white? It’s hard to take the animated films we grew up and breathe new life into them while keeping these thoughts in mind. Especially if we were taught at an early age who’s good and who’s evil, and that the baddies aren’t deserving of our sympathy or even redemption. I don’t know who exactly started this tradition of taking the fairytales, animated classics, and other stories we all grew up with and add more dimension and humanity to each of the characters, including the villains. But I’m glad they did. It gives us something to think about and makes us see that we have a little bit of evil inside of us. I may be in the minority when I say this, but movies and shows like Once Upon A Time, Maleficent, Ever After High, Descendants, and Cruella fascinate me because it allows me the chance to see how capable the villains are to being good people and their external and internal struggles to keep the goodness in their lives while navigating through all of the bad things and people that come into their lives which sets a course towards their villainous nature.

At least take into consideration the hard work the authors, screenwriters, and creators put into formulating the question “what if...” and how much fun they have breathing new life into these characters we grew up with and how much of ourselves we can see in the villains, no matter how much we try to deny it. There, I said it. I may once again be in the minority when I say this (it seems to be a theme lately on Tumbr, which is quite sad), but I enjoyed Cruella immensely. The acting, the costume designs, the hair and makeup, the songs... It was just bloody brilliant. Both Emmas - Emma Stone and Emma Thompson - played their parts extremely well. Ms. Stone navigating through her internal battle to be a good person while facing a conflict with the bad side was a wonderful site to see. And Ms. Thompson, I mean, come on. She’s just fantastic all the way around. To play a narcissist isn’t easy, but she makes it look so simple and enjoyable. I commend both of their performances in this film. And let’s not forget the rest of the cast - Joel Fry, Paul Walter Hauser, Emily Beechan, Kirby Howell-Baptiste, Mark Strong, Kayvan Novak, Jamie Demetriou, Andrew Leung, and John McCrea - such an outstanding ensemble! In the theatre, you know a show is fantastic because of its ensemble. The same applies in the movies as well. They may not get recognized as much as Emma Stone or Emma Thompson, but it was such a joy seeing these talented performers play their parts well, and the depth they played at was a joy to watch. Let’s talk about the costumes, hair, and makeup. This film better get awards for all of those areas (or at least nominations) because the designs and styles were truly epic. It’s hard to get the fashion of the times right without extensive research and a little bit of creativity and imagination thrown in for good measure. But Jenny Beavan and Nadia Stacey deserve all of the praise and accolades for rocking out the 1970s with boldness and some pretty wicked designs. I’ve noticed skimming on here the discontent many of you have for portraying Cruella as being a villain we should have sympathy for, especially since she wanted to skin Dalmatians for a coat. That alone should be cause for her to not be worth an ounce of sympathy, and I understand that. As an animal lover myself, I’m inclined to agree with you. But I’m going to let you in on one spoiler that I ask you take into consideration: no Dalmatian dogs were killed or skinned in this movie. I repeat: no Dalmatian dogs were killed or skinned in this movie. And here’s something else I want you to be on the lookout for should you decide to watch this film. During the end credits, there is a special message out there for those of you who are thinking about owning a dog: “Every dog deserves a loving home. If you’re ready for the commitment of pet ownership, please consider visiting your local animal rescue to find the right pet for you.” That message alone speaks as to how far we’ve come in society, and here’s why. Whenever we see movies or TV shows that feature dogs and cats, particularly puppies and kittens, we tend to rush out right away and getting them because they’re so adorable. But when they grow up, we tend to let them go and leave them in some unpleasant places. And organizations like PETA beseeched the film and the company to take a stand and use their voice to encourage adoption of pets in shelters and rescue centers and not pet stores. Apparently, the film and the company listened because they put this message during the end credits. Well done. I may not be able to convince you to go see this movie or give it another chance if you already saw it, nor should I try. But I do want you to take into consideration the amount of updated versions of the stories we all know and love, and how much the authors, screenwriters, and other creative types are bringing in humanity and depth to these characters. We’re not 2D characters like the heroes, heroines, and villains are often seen as in the original stories, so why should they be treated and seen as such for generations to come? We’re more complex and layered than seen in fairytales and animated movies. Also, I don’t think these stories where the authors give villains a chance to experience goodness before they became bad or even blurring the lines between good and evil are going away. It allows us as human beings to see and try understand that we’re all capable of being good, but it’s the events and people who come into our lives that shake things up and even brings questions of whether we’re truly good or evil that sets us down a path we alone can walk. And more importantly, it gives us as the audience a chance to see a little bit of ourselves in these characters, even if you don’t relate to the villains at all.  I suggest you stop griping about the rise in updated versions of the films, TV series, and book series of the original classics and accept that they are here to stay. I’m not saying you should read or watch them if they’re not your cup of tea, but at least try to understand that things were NEVER always black and white, especially where fairytales, animated films, and even more stories are concerned. At least try to understand that part, okay? Is that too much to ask? I’m not here to change your mind. I realize I can’t do that. So many of you are so set in your ways and opinions, and all I can do is pray for you. But I am here to share with you my thoughts on Cruella and how the updated versions of these stories are here to stay, whether you like it or not. And I’m also here to try to help you see that these stories allow us to see a little bit of ourselves in these characters we grew up with, even if it’s through a new set of eyes. You are welcome to disagree with me, or even not say anything at all. But all I ask is that you be respectful of my opinions and what I have to say. I will not tolerate any hate speech or disrespectful language. You do that, and I will block you. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything. It’s that simple, and yet it’s so hard, especially on Tumblr. I hope I didn’t take up too much of your time.

[fencecollapsed]

Not so much a Shadow!Paul question as it is a question about the shadow people/lost souls in general, but what with Paul being naturally inclined to music due to being claimed by Pokey, what traits do the souls claimed by the OTHER Lords in Black have? I've come up with some ideas of my own (one of which led to me imagining that a hypothetical Shadow!Emma would be claimed by Blinky bc of my own personal theories abt Emma but that's not important), but since it's YOUR AU, I figured I should ask. Also, just out of curiosity, are the eye colors of the shadow people based on their eye color from before they died, or which Lord in Black claimed them?

the eye colors are based on the lords in black they're claimed by! as are certain Other appearance traits, though they can vary. all the shadow beasts have more human-esque forms but a lot of the older ones end up taking animal shapes instead, typically also influenced by the lord that claimed them. creepy, uncanny animal shapes that if you look at closely for too long you can tell something's Up (I like to think this is part of the reason there's very little info or theories on them too, a lot of them just look like animals at first glance so they're harder to spot)

as for traits like the music draw, Pokey shadows are also a little more inclined to want company. Paul is. stubborn in this regard when it comes to others in the woods but clearly he has his own exceptions djskfjs

I think Wiggly shadows are the most prone to rage and being territorial. they're super aggressive and they're hoarders - if you ever drop or lose something in the woods, chances are a green-eyed shadow's snatched it up and either wears it or has it in a cave somewhere. they just. aimlessly want and take for reasons beyond what they're aware of

Blinky shadows are observers, of course. they're the ones most likely to be seen, I think, even if people don't have direct encounters they've probably unknowingly spotted sets of purple eyes watching them from the trees. they're very drawn to conflict, a pair of campers in an argument have definitely seen them around, just watching. the more malevolent ones actively try to start shit so groups will split up and they can try and snag a new soul

Tinky shadows are fast. they move like they're always running out of time, they're the ones least likely to be seen beyond a glimpse, I think. they also tick like a clock, they never picked up that sound from anywhere it just comes naturally. they tend to be people who had a lot of regrets in life so it's something they can sense, they may be the hardest to spot but when they're around people tend to get real anxious about time. they also have horns! or antlers it can depend!

we know nothing about Nibbly so I'm not touching that beyond his shadows have MASSIVE fangy grins at all times. that's unsettling enough

also I would LOVE to hear your ideas if you want to share!! I'm super open to other takes!!!

[happyandticklish]

You Can’t Make Me

Notes: For the anon who requested something with Paul and Emma this time. I love these nerds, so I had a lot of fun writing them! :)

Summary: Paul refuses to go to his office’s New Year Eve’s party which prompts Emma to take drastic measures. 

“I’m not going.”

Paul’s arms were crossed against his chest, resolute in his decision. Emma stood by the TV which she had turned off to direct his attention to the invitation in her hand, which detailed a New Year’s work party. It was an invitation that Paul had received about a couple days ago and had been hiding in the hopes that Emma would not find it. Unfortunately, it seemed his efforts were in vain.

“They’re your friends!” Emma exclaimed, waving the invitation around empathetically. “You should hang out with them instead of spending your day here, alone, again, like you always do.”

“I’m not alone,” Paul protested in a manner that was not at all childlike. “I have you. Besides, hanging around with big crowds of people is not exactly my scene.”

“No,” Emma agreed. “Your scene is missing out on every big life event that comes your way.”

“Why do you even care?” Paul pointed out. “Last time I checked, you weren’t too big a fan of them either.”

“Because they’re your friends, Paul.” Emma sighed, flopping down on the couch next to him. “You spend all of your time with me. Don’t get me wrong, I love the attention, but I want you to have a life outside of me. They care about you and I know you care about them too. So why won’t you go?”

Paul shrugged, averting his eyes. “I don’t know. I guess I just—” He broke off suddenly, flushing. “No, it’s stupid, never mind. Look, can we just agree not to go and drop the subject already?”

Emma turned towards him, interest sparked. “No wait, what were you going to say?”

“Nothing, forget about it,” he muttered.

Emma narrowed her eyes. There was no way she wasn’t going to get him to spill whatever it was; it could be important after all. She noticed the way his arms were crossed, leaving his sides fully exposed. Bingo. “I have ways of making you tell me, you know.”

Paul frowned, genuine confusion crossing his features. “What are you talking about—hey!”

Paul startled as two fingers jabbed into his side and pulled a definitively unmanly squeak from his mouth. A flush slowly began to make its way to his cheeks and, seeing the way Emma was looking at him, he was quick to shut whatever this was down before it could start. “Whatever it is you’re thinking, no.”

“I’m not thinking anything,” she said innocently, following him as he backed away on the couch. “Why are you moving away from me? Is something wrong?”

“No,” he protested. “No, uh, of course not. You just—surprised me. Yes. That’s it. So, uh, there’s really no need for you to try again—no!”

Her fingers were fast and devious when they landed on his sides, wringing laughter out of him before he could do anything to prevent it. “W-Wahahait! Emma, nohoho!”

“What were you going to say?” she asked, squeezing up his sides and causing him to flail dangerously. “Why don’t you want to go to the party?”

“B-Behehecause—” In his laughter-muddled state, Paul could think of no genuine excuse. “Behehecause fuhuhuck yohohou!”

“Oh, ho, ho, now you’re gonna get it.” Her hands shot up, sneaking their way into his armpits and digging into the sensitive nerves contained there. He squeaked, jumping a near mile in the air as he desperately tried to pull her hands away. “Is it bad there? Do you want me to stop?”

Paul could think of nothing to do but nod in answer while releasing all manner of embarrassing snorts and shrieks. His arms clamped down on her hands but all that accomplished was trapping them in place so that he had no choice but to raise his arms if he wanted her to stop, something he absolutely refused to do.

“C’mon Paul,” Emma teased. “Just tell me the reason and this can all be over.”

“I cahahan’t!” he protested, throwing his head back on the couch. “Ihit’s ehehembarrassing! Gah—nohoho, dohohon’t!”

“It can’t possibly be more embarrassing than this,” she prompted in what she found to be encouragement. Finally, she decided to give him a break and moved her hands back down to his sides, a place that appeared to be fairly ticklish all on its own, but not nearly the hotspot that was his armpits. “I promise I won’t laugh at whatever it is. You can trust me.”

“C-Clehehearly nohot!” Paul batted uselessly at her hands, unable to coherently function in his current state. “Pfft—nohoho—stahahahap!”

Emma felt her heart flutter traitorously in her chest at the sight of her Paul, cynical, sarcastic Paul, reduced to this writhing, babbling mess from just a few fingers. Though she was very intent on her mission, she found herself momentarily distracted by the sweet, innocent giggles falling from his mouth.

It was in this distracted state, however, that she accidentally let her touch wander too far south. The second her hands came anywhere near his hips Paul’s eyes snapped open and some wild instinct took over that prompted him to blindly reach out and grab her sides in turn.

Emma was unprepared for this turn of events. She jumped, biting down harshly on her lip to prevent the mortifying sound that almost leapt out. “W-Wait, hold on Paul, think about this—noHOHO!”

As it turned out, Emma was somehow even more ticklish than Paul was. It seemed that everywhere he touched was overly sensitive, even her lower calves which he had no end of amusement with.

“This is wild,” he muttered, amazed, as he gently pinched up and down her lower legs. “I never even thought someone could be ticklish here.”

“Paul, Paul, Paul, Pahahahahaul!” she squealed in protest, the only word she could seemingly get out as she writhed on the couch. She twisted around, hitting him viciously on the shoulder. “Stahahahap!”

“You know, all this time I’ve endured your tickle attacks and not once did I think to get you back,” Paul mused, snagging one of her legs in his arms so he could scribble fingers over her defenseless soles. This prompted her to fall back onto the couch in a giggling heap. “If I had known it was this easy to get you back I would have tried ages ago.”

“T-Thihihis ihihisn’t fahahair! Yohou lihike ihit!”

“I don’t think you’re in any position to be talking back,” he pointed out, digging fingers under her toes and attempting to ignore his rampant blush at her words.

“T-Thahat’s whahat y-yohou thihink!” Emma lurched forward and with a sudden surge of energy managed to pull her leg from his grip and flip them around so that her fingers could dig harshly into the slender bones of his hips. She relished in his resulting jump, grinning triumphantly. “I had an older sister, remember? I am well-versed in the art of tickle fights.”

Paul burst into wild and uncharacteristic laughter as she turned the tables back on him. This time he only lasted for a couple of seconds, unable to have his worst spot demolished like that. “Fihihihine, fihihihine, I-I’ll tehehell yohohou, Juhuhuhust stahaHAHAHAHAP!”

That was all she needed to hear. Emma released him, sitting back smugly on the couch. Paul huffed in exhaustion, holding his hips irritably. “That was mean.”

Emma shrugged. “You poked the dragon.”

“If I remember correctly, you poked me first.”

“Details. Anyway, If I remember correctly, I believe you had something to tell me?”

Paul sighed. He hadn’t wanted to get into this tonight, but as Emma stared at him with those earnest, trusting eyes, he found the words spilling from his lips before he could stop them. “I just sometimes worry that they don’t want me around. My co-workers, I mean.”

Emma frowned. “What do you mean? You all seem to get along fine.”

“Now,” he corrected firmly. “But I was never all that close to them before, and if I’m being honest I think I might have come off as sort of an asshole. It’s just kind of hard to believe that they just forgot about all of that.”

Emma reached forward to grab his knee, squeezing it in a reassuring, non-ticklish way. “Dude, trust me. I know all about feeling guilty for being an asshole to people; I get it. Yeah, maybe in the past you weren’t the nicest, but they’ve gotten to know you since then. They like the real you. They wouldn’t hang around you if they still thought you were an asshole.”

Paul gave her a critical look, trying to discern if she was bullshitting him or not. “You sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. When have I ever been wrong?” Before Paul could open his mouth to contradict her, she stood up definitively and shrugged on her jacket. “Now c’mon—are we going to that stupid party or not?”

Paul looked up at her, five feet of cocky grins and ruffled hair from rolling around on the couch, helping him through yet another issue without even trying. Sometimes he found that he couldn’t help but fall in love with Emma over and over again. Slowly he stood up as well, taking her hand. “Yeah, okay. Only because your argument was so compelling.”

“Great, cause I am in the mood for some crappy office champagne.” She paused with her hand on the door, turning to glare at him. “Also, just so you know, if you ever tickle me again I will break both your arms, understood?”

Paul smirked, a mischievous spark taking hold of him. “Is that so?”

Emma scurried back from him, seeing the look in his eyes. “Paul, no, we’re gonna be late—”

“We have a couple minutes. I think some revenge is due, don’t you think?”

“Wait, wait, wait, Paul nohohohohoho!”

Needless to say, they ended up late to the party after all.

[greasepaint-and-glitter]

The futures priceless babe

TW: alcoholism, abusive parenting, panic attack

Ethan Green was 16 the first time Lex put eyeliner on them. It had always been a long running joke between the two of them that Lex would have been a hot dude and Ethan the prettiest girl. So they had put Lex's hair in a ponytail under a hat and given her a fake emo dude fringe. She'd laughed her ass off and taken a whole bunch of shitty pictures before turning to Ethan and saying "Your turn". 

They'd protested and tried to wiggle away but Lex, not one to give up easily, had pinned them down and to the best of her ability drawn shaky eyeliner on them. They'd complained the whole time but then something on Lex's face changed and they stopped. 

"Holy shit Ethan, I know this was a joke but you look really good" 

"You're kidding me. Me? Look good? In makeup?" 

"See for yourself" 

Lex pointed at the small mirror above the sink and Ethan went to look. 

"Holy shit". Lex was right, they did look really good in makeup. They looked different. But a good different. And it made them happy in a way they couldn't explain. 

Later that night, when they were back in their own house and the eyeliner had been safely washed off to avoid endless questions from their dad, they did some googling. They learned a lot that night and fell asleep happier than they had in weeks. 

They come out as non binary a week later.

--- 

The second time was different. It had been about 6 months since then and nothing had changed. Lex and Hannah came round a lot, school was boring, they smoked, they laughed, things were normal. Ethan pretended not to notice that both of them were getting thinner. They pretended not to see the bruises in the places Lex would only show to them. It was an unspoken rule between them that no one talked specifically about what was going on with their parents. It was always "mum's a bitch" or "dad's being difficult". But they couldn't ignore it when Lex and Hannah showed up at their place at 3 am in the pouring rain. 

Ethan had smuggled them inside, being careful not to wake their dad and sat them down in their room. Lex was frantic. She was all over the place, not speaking in full sentences and pacing around Ethan's room like she was trapped. 

"Lex. Lex. Lex!" She spun round to look at them. "We don't have to tell me what's going on if you don't want to but please calm down. Come sit on the bed, I'll get you and Hannah some clean clothes and then we can talk, yeah?" 

She just stared at them. Hannah was sat in the corner biting on her chewy necklace harder than they'd ever seen, staring into space with tears rolling silently down her face.

They didn't know what to do.

Luckily for them, Lex still had half a brain so she got Hannah her blanket and a pillow from Ethan's bed and laid her down on the floor where she was. Hannahs sniffles quickly turned to snores and that seemed to settle Lex a bit. She turned back to Ethan. 

"I'm so sorry" She came over to sit next to him on the bed. "Mum.. she.. I thought she was going to try and kill us E. She was so angry. I've never seen her like that before. She's usually... well she's usually a dick." Lex gave a sad laugh before continuing "But tonight was something different. She accused Hannah of stealing her vodka and I just couldn't stay there with her yelling and throwing shit and I had nowhere else to go and I'm so so sorry" 

Ethan stared at her. "You have no reason to be sorry. That's.. god Lex I don't even know what to say. How can I help?" 

"Hug me? Please?" 

So they hug. And the hug turned into cuddling, which turned into spooning and Ethan was almost asleep when Lex says 

"Ethan. Is that an eyeliner pencil?" 

That woke them up like nobody's business. They'd completely forgotten about it amongst all the chaos but they'd bought it yesterday and had been wanting to try it for themselves. 

"Um.. yes?"

"Why?"

"Why what?" 

"Why is the sky blue. What d'you think? Why do you have an eyeliner pencil?" 

Usually Ethan would be embarrassed beyond belief but Lex is smiling and after today that's such a relief that they just go along with it. 

"..to do eyeliner"

"On you?"

"Yeah" 

"Oh. Okay"

There's a moment of silence before Lex speaks again. 

"Do it for me?"

"What?"

"Put it on. I wanna see you in it." 

Something about that gives Ethan butterflies, though they'd never ever admit it. So they do. It's their first time putting it on so they're shaky and it comes out wonky but the look on Lex's face is worth it. For a split second she absolutely melts, her face just lights up and she looks at Ethan like they're the prettiest person on the planet. They feel their face go red and suddenly feel very exposed and awkward. They laugh through it and call her a dumbass for wanting to see them in eyeliner at a time like this but deep down they're so happy.

Lex pulls them onto the bed and their heart is racing but she just says "I may be an idiot but you do look good in eyeliner". They fall asleep cuddling and Ethan wakes up the next morning with panda eyes and (after much teasing from Hannah) learns the importance of makeup remover.

--- 

It's been a year since Lex and Hannah moved in with Paul and Emma. Emma teaches Lex how to cook something that isn't pot noodle and Paul and Hannah just seem to get each other. It's basically the perfect life for them. Ethan is trying very hard not to be jealous but it's really hard when at the end of a day of being part of a happy family, they have to come back to a quiet house that smells of dust and is full of anger and fear. 

That's when they start drinking. They know it's wrong. They know but they can't help it. It starts off as a one off thing. One evening they've just had enough of everything. They know they should call Lex but it just hurts to see her living the life that they so desperately want. It's selfish. It's ridiculous. They don't care. So they drink. And it helps. To start with it really helps. They're a lot happier because they know they have an out. If things get too much they'll have a few (or more than a few) beers and it goes away. But then they start to want it more. It's almost constant. The need is just sitting there at the back of their brain. 'This would be more fun drunk' 'god this class is so boring, gin would help you make it through' 'ugh god Paul shut up and let me get home so I can get blackout'. That's when they know it's out of their control. And it freaks them the fuck out. But it's okay because they can still hide it. 

Until one day Lex shows up unexpectedly. She lets herself in as usual and comes up to Ethan's room. She knows something's off as soon as she walks in. The lights are off, the curtains are shut and Ethan is lying on their bed. To start with she thinks they must have just been tired and fallen asleep until she steps further into the room and trips over a bottle. Her heart stops. 

"Lex" 

"Ethan" her voice is shaky "What is going on here"

" 'm sorry lex. 'm not your mum, promise" 

She turns the light on. Their room is a tip. The floor is covered in dirty clothes, the underneath of their bed is full of bottles and their bed clearly hasn't been changed in months. But it's how Ethan looks that scares her the most. They're lying almost fully naked in their bed. Their skin is pale and their hair is greasy but that's not what's making Lex tear up right now. They've taken their eyeliner pencil and drawn all over themselves. Circled ever scar, every bruise, every place that they've been hit. They're covered.

The rest of that day moves like clockwork, robotic and stiff and uncomfortable. Ethan doesn't remember any of it but they're later told by Lex that Paul and Emma came over. They took them back to their house and sat them in the shower. Lex says that they tried to drag them to bed but they kept wanting to apologise to Hannah. They cried the whole time. 

--- 

Ethan has been sober for 3 months and every day they are more like their old self. Lex and Hannah start to trust them again and it feels good. They have bad days of course but on the whole they're doing a lot better. 

One day Lex invites them over to hers and the whole family sit them down. Paul speaks first. 

"Ethan. We know you've struggled in the past but you've been doing really well as of recently. We're all very proud of you." Everyone agrees and Ethan starts to tear up. "We've discussed it as a family and we want to adopt you" 

"What Paul is trying to say" Emma chips in "is that if you want to move in with us you're more than welcome to. We can't officially adopt you because you're 18 but if you want to get out of your house, god knows I'd want to, you can do that here."

"You're serious?" Ethan looks at Lex in disbelief but she just grins and nods at them. "Absolutely"

"Holy shit. Holy shit! Yes oh my god yes, please!" 

Lex leaps at Ethan and tackles them into a hug. "You don't have to say please you dumbass" 

Over the next couple of weeks they slowly sneak Ethan's stuff out and move it into Lex's room. The night they officially move in, Hannah gives Ethan a makeover to celebrate. 

---

They woke with a start. Rain was hammering against the window and the thunder was almost constant. Ethan froze. They'd always hated storms ever since they were a little kid. Something about them just made them stressed. Now they're shaking in fear at this fucking storm and Lex is right there. She's never seen them like this before. They start to panic. There's so much happening and the storm is outside and they don't want Lex to wake up and what if Hannah hears them crying and- 

They feel Lex's hand on their shoulder. Without meaning to, they curl into an even tighter ball and start sobbing. They'd hoped Lex would never see them like this, it's so fucking embarrassing.

"Ethan" 

They can't even look at her. She pauses, figuring out what to do.

"E, please, focus on your breathing. In for four, hold for four, out for four. Like you do with Hannah when she's struggling. Can you do that for me?" 

Ethan still doesn't move but they do what she's saying and soon they've calmed down a bit. 

"There we go that's better. Can you look at me?" 

They shake their head. Thunder crashes again outside and they flinch. It clicks in Lex's head. 

"Oh! Is it the storm that's bothering you?" 

Ethan almost starts crying again but nods. "I'm sorry" he mutters "it's stupid"

"Hey" Lex laughs gently "It's not stupid at all. C'mere, lie down. It's just a storm it's not gonna hurt you" 

Lex grabs Ethan's new eyeliner and doodles on their arms to calm them down like Emma does for her when she's having a bad night. Later on, Ethan will remember what it was she drew and get a tattoo of a tiny little hand drawn house with two little stick figures in the garden.

They lie together in the dark for a while. Every time there's a roll of thunder Ethan scootches closer to Lex until they're basically spooning her. She turns round so they're face to face and even though the storm hasn't calmed outside, all Ethan can think about is how close she is and the feel of her breath on their neck and they want to kiss her so badly it hurts. So they do. And she kisses back. And it's not perfect because Ethan is still half crying and Lex is way too eager but they're both so happy. They fall asleep that night with Ethan's head on Lex's chest, listening to her heartbeat. Ethan never worries about another storm again.

---

The day they move into their own apartment makes them both cry. Emma tells them about a thing her sister used to do whenever she moved house and they decide to do it together, the whole family. They get out sharpies and Ethan uses their eyeliner and they write on the walls of the living room. Dreams, hopes, wishes, memories they never want to forget and moments they want to last forever. They all cry and laugh and at the end of the day they sit on the floor and eat cake in a room full of boxes and love. Ethan draws a love heart on each of them with the eyeliner and none of them rub it off. 

One day Lex will put eyeliner on Ethan on their wedding day and Hannah will call them both pretty. It will be one of their favourite memories, but that night, falling asleep with each other in their new apartment. That's the happiest they've ever been.

[jazzgaycryptid]

Ok so uh I have a kinda long TGWDLM theory

So this all started because of a head cannon and one little joke of Let it out being Paul’s gay awekening song and that Working Boys is autobiographical so let’s go

Hatchedfield, is secretly a PEIP construction where they put gay people, and then suppress their gayness into make them think they’re straight. (general Macnamera doesn’t know about this) So, the infection secretly makes the people queer again. (my campaign slogan for the mayor of Hatchedfield will now be Make Hatchedfield Gay Again) The whole musical thing, is just a cover up by the infection. The Lines, “I’ve become what I’ve hated, maybe I never did” and , “but what will I let in if I let it out” are clear signs, of a man whose been raised to be homophobic, but deep down, knows that his true love, is Bill and acted kinda mean to him because, his internalized homophobia is so deep that he feels the need to distance himself from Bill. Also Paul always went to beanies for two reasons. One, Paul felt the need to convince himself, that he liked Emma instead of Bill. Two, Paul’s homophobia makes him tie queerness to Starbucks.

So, Working Boys, the new musical... or so we thought. You, see I believe that the Working Boys, are the true masterminds behind the meteor. And sure, we all know the working Boys are Henry and Greg and Steve and Stu and Mark and Leighton and Chad, but my guess, is that Working Boys the musical, has been in the works since college and they made a machine that would attract the meteor. I have a theory, that we’ve already seen all the Boys, they’ve just been hiding under false names one way or another. My theory? The starkid cast members are the Working Boys! Henry is Robert, Greg is Jeff, John is Paul (aka Steve got his mind erased by PEIP), Corey is Stu, the Lang Brothers are Mark and Leighton and Joey is Ted (Chad got his mind erased too and that’s why when Hidgens mentioned him he started smiling because his memories were partially reinstated). If you think I’m insane, look no further to 2018’s December Geminid meteor shower oh yeah it’s all coming together. “But Jazz” you may ask, “what about hidgens being old in the events of TGWDLM and the possibility of age differences between the cast?” Well, hidgens is a biology professor and maybe he made some sort of genetic masking equipment. Also, how do you think Hidgens recognized Greg and Stu? And that they knew the lyrics to the title number? Sure, it could be the infection, but what if it was real memories? Also hidgens said Stu “hadn’t aged a day” thus evidence fof the masking theory.

My conclusion: Paul was memory whipped brainwashed into being homophobic and straight and the Working Boys are real and TGWDLM was just a cover up to Steve’s therapy into being gay again and eliminating PEIP

[apffee]

My Thoughts Rewatching TGWDLM and Black Friday:

*btw the section for tgwdlm is much shorter than the one for black friday because it’s less new so more people have already said almost all there is to say about it i guess*

The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals: - in the first scene the same phone rings about 32/33 times wow (i counted) - when charlotte is talking about sam singing in the shower, let it out plays real quiet and it's cool - i’ve always wondered what emma was gonna say before join us and die, and to me it seemed like she was gonna talk about paul’s crush on her and maybe reject him (she was acting remorseful, like she was sorry for being about to hurt his feelings maybe), idk if anyone tweeted nick lang about this yet but i wanna know - emma seems to jinx herself every time she says "we made it" or along those lines, like in the helicopter she says "we got outta there!" and before inevitable she says "paul! we made it!" - fuck nora :)

***

Black Friday: - the sniggles deserve betterrrr also lauren sniggle <3 - mnfnmggghfht them <3 paulkinsss <3 - silent night playing while we enjoy paulkins - "oH SHIT A BABY" - emma has beanies shopping bags so she either still works there and brought snacks or she just went there with paul idk - paul like "it's christmas time in hatchetfield isn't that fun" and im having flashbacks - i love paul's awkwardness but emma, he's your boyfriend ok (ok? ok. ok.) - emma copying bae like - how does lauren turn into an entirely different person with emma and linda ik it's acting but I CAN'T ENVISION THEM TOGETHER AS THE SAME PERSON - if i think about videos and streams of lauren, it seems like emma's personality is kinda similar to lauren's own personality huh - i think this part with emma and paul is so funny not just cause them and their wonderful delivery but also cause the paulkins content is more condensed in smaller amounts of time since they aren't the protagonists anymore, so it's more funny at once, while tgwdlm is probably more funny in total but it's more spread out - i love emma’s adorable laugh snort thing when tom tells her about the surprise it's so lovable <3 - tom just getting in emma's face when he says "he was sledding. WITH HIS MOTHER" ;-; - they just sneak off while tom sings like - what if emma has a different hairstyle in each musical? anyway lauren is so pretty no matter what her hairstyle is but her hair looks even more amazing down in general, i should probably stop now or i'll keep rambling on about lauren - but like lauren and jon are so cool i'm just more attracted to lauren in general but they're probably my two favourite starkid and YES I AM BIASED, SO WHAT? - tom teleports to the parking lot of the mall during what tim wants - tom: what tim want? tim: JUST ASK ME WHAT I WANT - why does linda look over when sherman says "omg its becky barnes" like u just spoke to her and hate her guts lmao why do u care -adore me plays when linda belittles becky bout stanley -webby: hey hannah do the thing ethan's doing with his hands hannah: *does it and gets scolded* webby: *wHeEEeEzeee* - paul in wdywp "i want what everyone wants, money, a partner, kids someday, maybe.." and linda talking to wiley "i want what everyone wants, to be loved" - linda is holding one of her boots, why did one come off? the camera doesn't show below her waist while she's talking to wiley so idk - lauren lopez as jingle the elf doing a bugette voice is attractive as hell - tom: "i'd do anything for him" me: awwww thats sweet! tom: "even if it means pounding the guts outta some little twerp!" me: :/ - what would happen if tom managed to give the doll to tim? tom: take this doll son. tim: i don't want that lmao? tom: W-WHAT? tim: i want u but ur distant and sad now :c tom: :'o - sHE'S hEaVY! D: - do ya think it's a coincidence that wiley AND xander call the president the nickname howie? maybe xanders dead and this is a fake idk lol - the sniggles are still cute in made in america (especially lauren sniggle) and lauren looks so good with her hair like that actually her hair always looks good why DOES HER HAIR ALWAYS LOOK SO GOOD AND HER NOSE AND (this is just a rant about lauren now whoops) - at 1:42:55 when wiggly is talking to john the "look what happens nightmare time" riff (i think its a riff) plays hmmmmm; also someone else mentioned how the light in not your seed is green, so i think grace chasity (yeah apparently it’s chasity) is the connecting thread in all these things and since she is likely the protag in npmd its probably important. oh also maybe grace and jane are connected somehow? idk just trying to think of stuff that could be in npmd - when wiggly gasps after his hiccup laugh thing it's so uncomfortable and creepy i love it good job jon! - you have pOonies?? - i threw em in the FUCKING TRASH! - you killed the pOoNIES! -"she can go on her own" NO LEX HANNAH NEEDS YOU ;o; -lex: reach? like this? *gun flies towards her and smacks her in the nose* ARGH! - lex: patiently waiting for tom to finish singing - i remember something about either the song a meteor hits or just the wiggly jingle scratch track or something being to the tune of if i fail you, so thats cool - jon is so damn feral as gary and it's wonderful i'm having so much fun - gerald's such a good dramatic device - she's drunk AGAIN? what would you know about becky being drunk linda? im imagining drunk becky and linda talking in a bar idk how else linda would know about that eh - behold the wonderful shriek of lauren lopez - i can sing the range of adore me and califorMIA since im an alto and yet lauren can do her high octaves as well as my own comfotable octave she's just destroying the song wiggle and my belief in what singing ability i have with her TALENT!!! - *obnoxious laugh* bECkY BaRNeS! - lets just appreciate jon and lauren sneaking off stage and doing a quick change into their paul and emma outfits in like 40 SECONDS WHAT also everyone else saying their lines slower so they had more time to quick change - "taaahm?" (i love lauren's midwestern accent) - emma and tom never got to talk about jane :'( but also her grateful little smile when he says it and ghfighdfisdfskh emma and paul <3 - why does emma always want to go to hidgens tho lmao like how trustworthy is he really? aw but i guess emma doesn't have anyone else in hatchetfield except paul and jane's family :'( - PAUL SMILING AT EMMA TO COMFORT HER AWWWWWW I LOVE THEM SO MUCH (2:14:02) like i don't mind about how well lauren and jon know each other because their acting is so good that it gets me so invested in paulkins <333333333333333 - i wanna see the paulkins hug D:< i can just see emma in her cute ass bobble beanie hat thing coming over and then the camera pans away WHY - i love that at the end everyone's just squinting at the sky in confusion and paul's just doing a bug-eye face of shock like O-O - ok at the end of tgwdlm it was sad and scary that emma was still in character and screaming for help but i'm just imagining as everyone bows in a line emma just screaming and staggering around again even though this is black friday and it would be really weird but my brain's also weird - tim died alone in the car :( - fuck nora

[shireness-says]

Wherever You’re Going (I’m Going Your Way): Epilogue [6/6]

Summary: 1952. A lost boy without a home, Killian Jones rides America’s back roads on his motorcycle, searching for a purpose that’s just out of reach. This pit stop was only supposed to be a few days, a couple of weeks at most, but a pretty blonde waitress just might be his salvation. Is he brave enough to let her? Rated T for language. ~1.8K. Also on AO3. Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch. 4 Ch. 5

~~~~~

A/N: We’re at the end! I can’t believe it. Thanks again to the @captainswanbigbang​ mods, to @thejollyroger-writer​ @snidgetsafan​ and @profdanglaisstuff​ for all their help, and to YOU for reading this whole thing! I’ve loved all your lovely comments.

Enjoy this soft little epilogue - and let me know what you think!

~~~~~

They go… everywhere. They crisscross the country without any particular route in mind, sometimes doubling back to see landmarks Emma suddenly remembers from her elementary geography class, sometimes simply blowing where their whims might take them. They see Niagara Falls as Killian planned, becoming drenched in the spray, and make sure to ride down to the southwestern deserts as the weather turns cooler again to marvel at cacti and the Grand Canyon. 

(Killian grumbles about the heat the whole time, especially the way it dries up every inch of moisture in his body “like a dead leaf, Swan, I’m serious, I might as well just crackle into little pieces — why are you laughing at me?”)

(She laughs at his pouting the whole while, especially since this particular jaunt was his idea in the first place. He plays it up a little, just to hear the sound.)

They see everywhere in between, too. Killian particularly enjoys their excursion through Yellowstone, finding a certain kind of peace in the stillness of their surroundings. The sky is so big in this part of the country, wide open and all around them. At night, stars practically litter the sky.

(Killian finds himself sleeping better these days. The dreams still come — he’s not sure they’ll ever stop, no matter how happy he is — but they’re less frequent with the warmth of Emma’s body by his side to lull him into peaceful rest. The stars aren’t his constant companion anymore; Emma is instead.)

They drive Route 66, just to say they did it. They pose in front of the Golden Gate Bridge for strangers to take their picture with a second-hand Polaroid camera. They swing through Chicago, the crowds an utter nightmare but the awe on Emma’s face pure magic. There’s hardly a corner of this country they haven’t touched, putting more miles on the motorcycle than Killian likes to think about. Every one of them is worth it.

(She tells him she loves him in a little town in Kansas. He can’t even remember the name of that rest stop, but he’ll never forget the rush of pure joy surging through his veins.)

Emma sends postcards to her family back in Storybrooke from every major attraction, and even a few attractions that aren’t. Killian is assured that David in particular will enjoy the card from the Corn Palace in Iowa, though he also assumes that must be a joke. They call, too, as much as they can, Emma becoming just as much an expert in the ritual of long distance as he is. Though Belle may have planted the crazy, wonderful idea in his head in the first place, she was surprisingly hesitant when Killian first called to tell her the news that he had a new travel partner.

“And you’re sure, Killian?” she asked in that softly worried tone she’s perfected. “I know you really like this girl, but what if that changes? What if things don’t work out between you? What if she wants to go home?”

(It’s touching, really, the motherly concern, like he’s just another one of her kids who needs to be protected from pain and bad decisions. It’s just that Killian doesn’t think that Emma qualifies as either one.)

“Then we’ll figure it out. I’m not making her do anything she doesn’t want to, and I won’t start either. This is up to her as much as me,” he’d replied. “But for what it’s worth? I’ve got a good feeling.”

“If you’re happy…”

“I am.”

Emma and Belle talk later — he can’t quite remember if it was on the next call, or the one after that. What Killian does know is that something must have been settled between the two, as his cousin now asks warmly after Emma and he makes sure to pass the phone along. 

He’s writing again these days, too; there’s something to be said for the right inspiration. It’s not much, of course — he’s not a prodigy, just a man trying to express himself in some small way on the page. It’s a compulsion, to find a way to capture the way she looks in the freedom of the mid morning light on the back of his motorcycle and the way he feels watching her. Words will never be enough, but he’s already mailed two notebooks to Belle for safekeeping and has almost filled a third.

Today, they’re in Florida — at the beach, just like Emma yearned for during their first real conversation. As much as so many things have changed, Killian still is wary of the sea. He’ll let the tide wash over his feet for Emma’s sake — anything for her, truly, and she knows not to expect him to submerge more than his ankles — but most, he’s happy to sit in the sand and watch the way Emma beams in the sunlight, still his own angel. 

The sunlight catches more than just her smile, now. He’d bought the ring in St. Paul and barely held out for two days before proposing, almost two months ago now. The ring itself isn’t anything particularly special — a small diamond set in silver. But for all the ways that his life has been entirely upturned, Killian still places a good amount of stock in that symbol, that Emma wants to be with him forever. Maybe it’s silly; after all, they’ve driven from coast to coast and back again in the last year, and spent nearly every moment together. It’s hard to get closer or more committed than that, and it makes any ceremony seem almost superfluous. 

Still. When he looks at her, sees her joy and all the ways she makes his life better… he wants. And he’s lucky enough that she does, too.

(He still can’t quite believe that she said yes. He’s still a mess of a man, even if he’s trying, even if he’s better. Inexplicably, she loves him anyways.)

Emma scoops up her shoes and starts walking back to his perch on the sand, tendrils of hair whipping around her head where they’ve escaped the messy braid he’d helped her twist that morning. “God, that sure is something, isn’t it?” she laughs, collapsing onto the pearly expanse.

“Everything you dreamed of?” he asks, tugging her closer into his side. Emma flops her head dramatically onto his shoulder at the movement, right where they’ve learned she fits perfectly against him. 

“And then some,” she sighs. “You were right, it’s so different from home — from Maine. It almost doesn’t look real. But then you get in the water, and it’s just the same. The tide comes in the same way, even down here. I don’t know, I suppose it’s a little comforting.”

Killian just hums and leans down to drop a kiss on Emma’s head before they lapse into a thoughtful silence, watching the birds circle and the waves roll in and out. It’s picturesque; frankly, he’d even say beautiful. He doesn’t regret the visit in the least.

But Emma had said home, and he can’t stop thinking about that either. 

It’s not the first time he’s thought about it. As much as Emma has loved finally seeing all the places she’s heard and read about, he knows she misses her family, the short but frequent phone calls proof of that. Emma loves him, and she’s loved their adventure, but there’s unbreakable strings tying her back to Storybrooke. To her home.

It’s not Killian’s home, not truly. He hasn’t spent enough time in the little town to form that kind of attachment. But he wouldn’t call any other place home, either, and Storybrooke is as good a place as any if he’s got Emma in his life. She grounds him — soothes that itch to always move until he finds someplace — or rather, someone — worth sticking around for. After months of the open road, it’s maybe time for this phase of their adventure to conclude, and another one to start.

(Besides, she ought to have her little hodge-podge family at her wedding. He wants to give that to her, after all that she’s given him.)

“I’ve been thinking about that lately,” he says casually, trying not to make it all seem like quite as big a deal as he knows it is.

Emma hums a questioning note back to him, though mischief sparkles in her green eyes. “What, about the tide? That seems… odd.”

“No, you ridiculous creature,” Killian replies, rolling his eyes for good measure. He knows she’s teasing, after all, even if he did technically set her up for that. “I’ve been thinking… maybe this has been enough. Maybe it’s time to go home.”

Emma jerks her head up to stare back at him blankly, evidently shocked by the suggestion. “Home? You mean to Storybrooke?”

“Aye. I know you miss it, and… I just think it might be time.”

“Oh, Killian, we don’t have to stop on my account. I’m fine to keep going,” she protests.

“I know. And it’s not… I’ve loved this, but I don’t need to keep going the way I once did. If you have more places you want to see, we’ll go see them, and I’ll be happy just to be there with you, but I’m not… this idea isn’t all because of what I think you might want. It’s for me, too.” He pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts; he feels like he’s not expressing things quite the way he wants to. “I shouldn’t assume though. I suppose I thought… I know you miss your family, but do you want to go home?”

Emma heaves a heavy sigh and stares out at the sea. Killian grants her the space to think; this is a turning point, he knows, and he’d never want to rush her into anything she doesn’t want. He barely hears her when she finally does speak, her soft admittance carried away on the breeze. “I do,” she tells him. “I love this, and I’m so glad we’ve seen all that we have, but… I think I’d like to settle, a little bit. Especially if we’re getting married. A little house and a pretty ceremony… I know Storybrooke isn’t your home, though.”

“It isn’t,” Killian admits, “but it could be.”

“Just like that?”

“Don’t you understand, Emma?” he asks. “You’re my home. Wherever you are, as long as I’m with you… I’ll be home. Whether that’s on the back of the motorcycle or in Storybrooke or on the moon. I’ll always be home with you.” He leans in to seal the sentiment, brushing his lips along Emma’s and letting her deepen the kiss when she sneaks her hands behind his neck and into his hair. She’s always been willing — eager, even — to take the lead, and Killian is still happy to let her. 

“I love you,” she whispers when they break apart, foreheads still touching as they breathe the same air. “You’ve given me the world, and I love you.”

“I love you, too, Swan.” A blind man could hear his smile in his voice. “Now let’s go home.”

Together — all the adventure he needs.

~~~~~

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