#look into ANY “guru” in this shit and actually listen to what they say. it sounds insane

[lovedlovingly]

law of attraction really is the biggest scam of the 21st century. the pseudo science that comes with it and from it is massive and destructive. anti vaxx WISHES they had what LOA has

[traegorn]

"Get therapy lol" you're a real empathetic motherfucker.

Laughing at people in pain really doesn't fit with the picture of a kindly uncle looking dude, that's really sad and I'm sorry I ever followed you. Fuck you, fuck men who want to yell about slamming doors.

For real man, I'm sorry I ever followed you I'm crying now what the fuck? What the fuck?

What the fuck is wrong with you? "Get therapy" is what you say? Fuck you.

Maybe on our call this week I'll tell my therapist about the fake asshole who tries to act like an understanding elder but just drops edgelord epic bacon putdowns when somebody shares how something made them unhappy. For real, fuck you.

Okay, you sent me this string of anons because of my flippant response to this ask.

But like, my dude... I'm a stranger on the internet. I am not an "understanding elder" -- I'm a middle aged nonbinary office worker who makes some podcasts and writes comics and novels. I don't know what you think our relationship is, but I think you need to step back for like a minute.

Like I don't think you've remotely considered my perspective in this entire interaction.

I'm sitting here cooling off after a workout, watching this week's Dimension 20 episode, and I'm scrolling Tumblr. I had reblogged a poll about car door slamming, with a little thought appended about the subject... and then there's a contextless anonymous ask in my box which:

Complains about Europeans who are not even remotely referenced in the post I reblogged. Which is, y'know, weird.

Vents about their father. To me. A stranger in Wisconsin. Who again, neither knows who you are or who your father is.

Like, dude, let me remind you what you sent me. This is your exact ask:

My father used the stupid fucking car door as a reason to yell at me all the time, Europeans sound like whiny bitch ass motherfuckers who could use a few doors slammed at them. Fuck that persnickety shit. Fuck them.

Like what the actual fuck did you expect me to make of this, anon? You brought this energy to me. You didn't ask me for advice. You randomly vented to me, a stranger, without any context.

And randomly insulted Europeans, who hadn't even joined the chat.

Like the whole "who tries to act like an understanding elder" and "kindly uncle" is something you've projected on to me. I am not trying to be some wise elder or any other bullshit -- and I'm not going into how you've decided to use exclusively masculine terms for me.

Because your use of those words shows you don't know shit about me.

I'm just old and trying my best. I know some stuff, so I try to tell people that stuff. If you're coming to this from the witchcraft side, I have always maintained that all witches are equals and I am not above anyone. If you've put me in that position, I definitely didn't ask for it.

So yeah, this is where I'm at my limit. You've crafted a pretty weird parasocial relationship here and I have to get up and work in the morning. I'm glad you're getting some help, because this entire interaction has been wild from start to finish.

I am not your guru, and I am not your mom. I'm just a tired queer person who should probably go to bed.

(Also, I mostly added the song "Therapy" to the end there because it's a fucking bop and all nonbinary band Kat and the Hurricane's new album comes out tomorrow/today and more people need to listen to it)

[catsanditalkshit]

I moved out of the US a few months ago.

Not specifically because of the current political climate (I'm incredibly privileged to be a cis-white-straight-presenting woman so I can hide in plain sight for the most part as long as no one asks for ID), but it certainly helped make the move feel easier. I moved for a ton of reasons that were largely personal, but it all boiled down to: a bitch can't heal if she's always on fire. So now I'm watching my friends and family on fire from very far away, and I have a touch of survivor's guilt despite the fact that they're all safe (currently). This isn't a post about that though, just felt like I needed to acknowledge that I'm starting regular blogging probably because I'm feeling guilty, lonely, out of place or some combination of those. Totally great reason to talk shit about things, right?

I'm nearly a third of the way through my MSc program in the UK and one thing is abundantly clear - group projects suck more than a nun's bunghole. I'd even argue that they suck even more with the advent of widely accessible AI. Now I won't get into the objective downsides and problems with AI or my own personal moral qualms with the way the models are built and trained, but I will say that people use it as a damn crutch and it's annoying.

AI can be such an interesting tool if used correctly and, with how ubiquitous it's becoming, it's important to understand what role it plays in the future of any industry. You wanna know what it's not though? A replacement for doing actual fucking work. Like, genuinely, this group project is not particularly difficult in terms of the requirements themselves, but the group work aspect has made it damn near impossible. "Oh well, Tabi, being able to work in a group means that..." Oh shut your trap, imaginary well-meaning internet stranger. It's gotten to the point where one of these people is about as useful as tits on a mouse and my grade (& consequently my visa) is tied to that person.

So yeah I'm going to talk shit. A lot.

Now, my personal use of AI is limited to asking it to tell me how in the hell to use a machine at the gym or what a tool I've been using to pry open a busted utility door is actually for, so I'm no master prompt-writer. I know there are people who can wordsmith their way into some pretty awesome shortcuts and genuinely useful things, but, at the very least, I think I have a lot of learning to do before I can even consider using AI to help me out (and that doesn't even account for my moral qualms).

I'd like to point out that Mr. TitMouse is definitely not one of those legendary AI gurus. He brings AI-generated work to group meetings that's so generic I'm surprised Walmart hasn't found a way to sue him. It's like he gave the poor AI a two-word prompt and then expected a persuasive dissertation. I can just picture our poor, budding robot overlord asking for a hammer to use, getting a Fisher Price tool set instead, but still doing their best to build what they were asked for.

All that to say: if you're going to do something bad, at least be the best at it. I've spent a few too many drives home ranting about how if he didn't want to work, he could use AI in much smarter ways, but nope this guy would rather do absolutely nothing and then try to mansplain the process to anyone who will listen. I was pleasantly surprised when he offered to do actual work last week, but, upon actually looking at the "work" today, he's basically disregarding everything the group had agreed upon and using his own, barely-formed-enough-to-call-generic drafts to create the least functional thing I've ever seen. I know the other group members are trying but this guy is really dragging everyone down. I'm a glutton for punishment though, so I'm going to let him do his thing, make my own in the background and test both out in the wild to see which people prefer. Is it technically more work? yes. Will it technically save me having to deal with this actual man-child as much? also yes. Will I get a small amount of joy from showing the tutors how absolutely BS everything he's done is? big yes. Maybe I'll even hide a little drawing of tits on a mouse in the final product! Who doesn't love a little easter egg 🤭

[nono-bunny]

I was a bit worried about hearing Zack Tyler Eisen on the podcast because I read someone quote him on saying "it's all in your head buddy" about Zutara, which??? Doesn't sound great, and after how rude Bryke were I grew to be wary of Kataang shippers on the podcast, even though Janet does a great job or keeping them in check as much as possible and Dante is fantastic at easing the tension... I just don't like being condescended to like that, y'know?

But he was actually a great guest imo! He had a lot of unique experiences from the show by virtue of his age at the time, and in general sounds like a cool guy! I kinda thought he may have left acting after like having a bad experience on ATLA or something, but he sounds like he just really found a love for cinematography which is cool and good to hear! Like, he seems to still love engaging with the show every once in a while, and like, good for him!

Anyway this "all in your head" thing does seem to be like? Much more in jest than it may seem when reading it, he was kinda just messing around with Dante, and while I STILL disagree with him because Kataang is gross... He was much more chill about it than I thought, can't really blame him for preferring Kataang when he IS Aang lol

I am... Unhappy because when looking at future episodes to check out the guests I can look forward to (some real bangers, btw!) I saw that him and one of the Bryke duo are on Crossroads of Destiny which. Is kind of infuriating that there are two Kataangers on a Zutara episode, but honestly I'm? Kinda less mad about it than I was after listening to his episode, I feel like he might actually have some interesting things to say there since he said he liked the Guru Pathik stuff so! I guess I'll wait and see how I feel about it after reaching it lol. They better acknowledge that it's a Zutara episode though or istg...

I was originally SO mad when I found out about the Crossroads of Destiny guests being anti-Zutara that I typed out a huge rage post which I obviously shelved because it was completely out of proportion and written when I was barely coherent because I was extremely sleepy, it was all kinda funny tbh I was near on delirious writing it but tbf not all of my points there were completely wrong so? This post and a possible follow up in the future will exist in its stead lol

Also!! I do kinda just wanna throw this out there: I hate Aang and Bryke, but I have never had any issue with Zack for voicing him- he did a remarkable job voicing Aang! It's just unfortunate what Bryke did to his character development, and it's interesting to me that he seems to like the Guru Pathik stuff but? If anything I'm actually really interested in his pov, probably much more than I am in hearing Bryke's extremely biased one (they lied SO much over the years about the development process, wtf!! They've proven to be so unreliable, and alongside their shit takes I truly despise hearing them talk on the podcast lol)

[tyranasauruslex]

do you think rome has ever made a mixtape songs for lukas when he gets bored?

Roman takings tips from those early 2000's Cosmo "How To Impress Your Man" lists. I actually see Lukas as the mixtape guru - he'd make Roman his own Spotify playlist.

Bored Roman would wander around the house and send Lukas multiple voice notes about the stuff he finds:

"What's this green stuff in your fridge? It looks gross. Eww... it tastes like grass. Why are you eating grass? There's nothing normal in your fridge by the way... even your bread is weird. What is Limpa? Ohh ok that actually tastes nice... Eww pickled fish. Your country is weird. I ate all your bread by the way."

"Your mom called so I told her you abandoned me to work... she's gonna send me baby Lukas pictures via email. I might put them on insta... I haven't decided yet... Oh my god you look like a baby giant... Your poor mom having to shove you out of her vagina. Ok you're actually kind of cute for a baby giant with your little knitted hat on... Aww baby Lukas at the zoo... ha, that giraffe must be related to you. All my baby pictures are with the nanny... or with Shiv looking like a bald egg. Thats depressing."

"We should go to that new Italian on the upper East side... I called and they said they'd do plain pasta for you... only if you want to though. You probably have boring work stuff to do or Tom will want to take you to show off. I can just go with Shiv and listen to her complain about how the baby ripped apart her vagina for the millionth time. Having a baby sounds gross but at least Lilly is cute... and small, not a baby giant like you were. I'll just take Lilly to the Italian. Babies can eat pasta, right?"

"Just so you know I've taken one of your sweaters cus I can't work out the heating system. Why are your arms so long? Like, how to you even operate them? Ohh this kinda cosy... you'll have to buy another one because I'm keeping this one. I'm in your closet by the way and it's giving serial killer. Nobody is that organised. Or neat. I bet if you decided to murder me this is where you'd hide my body. Or you'd stitch me up inside a bear carcass. Ohh cool... you have the shirt I wore when I first stayed over. You're such a dork. But in, like, a cool way and FUCK! Don't worry I'm not dead, I just tripped over one of your massive shoes. Is that how you came to the US? Via shoe-boat? You know, cus your Mister Viking and stuff... Ok, so I have a question... Are your stupidly big feet an indication of how big other stuff is? Cus it kind of feels that way when you cuddle me but... actually forget I asked that. I'm just gonna delete this..."

"You're asleep when I'm sending you this but I think you need to know how much you look like a dead body when you sleep. Here... I'm sending you photographic evidence... Why don't you make any noise? Like at all? You keep telling me I say a bunch of random shit in my sleep and... oh you moved. I'm gonna whisper from now on... Wait, what if you're actually dead? I'd get the blame and end up in fucking prison being molested by the guards. I can't go to prison so I'd have to dismember you in the bathroom or something. Also thank you for not being mean about the whole dick to shoe ratio... and for the drawing. Cus you know i've never really... well, anyway it makes it less scary even if you can't draw for shit. I'm just going to pet your hair for a bit cus I know you like that... Oh fuck I woke you up!"

[foggyparadisecandy]

On Words of Affirmation (and positive self-talk)

I'm going to come straight out and say it: I'm not a fan of affirmations and I want to explain why ... and provide a way to approach them so that they *can* be benefiical, if you are like me.

What are Affirmations?

They can be done different ways but the simplest way to explain them is that they are words you tell yourself to help manifest the you that you want to be.

Things like "I'm successful." "I'm hard-working." "People like me." "I am a good person."

Depending on which "guru" you are following, the idea is you repeat these things to yourself, possibly even looking in the mirror, out loud, in your head, for many many minutes, possibly multiple times per day.

The belief is that by doing this, you will change the course of your life and actually become this person you are telling yourself you are. How lovely, right?

My Issues with Affirmations

The problem is ... for people who struggle with self-esteem, these words are not only useless, I believe they are harmful.

"Sure, Foggy, *words* are harmful. Ok buddy.", you may be scoffing at me.

Well, my friend, if you have followed my blog for any amount of time, you know that I believe, and know for a fact, that words have power.

And the entire idea of Affirmations is that words have power, right? The point is that they have POSITIVE power if you just say the right words and repeat them the right way and do it enough times. That's when the magic will happen.

If we believe that words of affirmation have power, then it's a simple matter to understand that power has no inherent good or bad behind it. It's all in how it's used and the effect it has on the recipient.

So How do Affirmations Hurt People?

If your self-esteem is low - and many people struggle with this, the words of affirmation will be caught by your inner critic that will say "that's not true", "that's not true", "that's not true", and it will reinforce your negative views as you actively reject the very words of praise that you are sending your own way.

Then, the subconscious says "this stuff is supposed to work but it doesn't work on me. I'm a complete loser. Nothing works for me. I'm forever miserable and I suck."

I feel for you if this is you. <3

In essence, for people struggling with self-esteem, words of praise and affirmation make you feel like shit.

That's Depressing. Is There Any Hope?

If you are nodding your head and feeling what I've been saying so far, there is hope for you and, with a small adjustment, you can make affirmations work for you.

The key is two-fold:

1 - Start with known, positive truths about yourself. Depending on where your head is, these might be super tiny little things but find something and start there.

"I have made it to this point in life. I have survived a horrible childhood."

"I love listening to music."

"I love watching <insert favorite tv show or youtube creator or whatever>."

You know you. Figure out those small, TRUE, positive-minded facts about yourself. Repeat them as often as you want.

Definitely think of THEM next time your mind starts berating yourself. And bonus points if you go and do something you like instead of letting your mind beat you up when it goes to that dark place.

2 - Sprinkle in thoughts about ACTIONS you are taking. Focus on the effort, not the destination.

Instead of "I'm successful" -> "I am doing my best and working hard to improve."

"I'm smart" -> "I am working at learning new things and I'm open to new ideas."

"People love me" -> "I treat people with kindness and respect."

Again ... you know you. Figure out TRUE actions you are willing to take to improve yourself.

Don't stress the end goal. Focus on the fact that, hey, you are working it! Good on you!

FUNDAMENTAL TRUTH OF LIFE

And you know what is a fundamental truth?

The journey is the point in life, not the destination. There are a lot of super-unhappy people who have reached their goals because their goals are destinations.

If you cultivate an honest attitude of "I work at things and I am doing my best" and lean into that when your mind wants to beat you up? Well, my friend, you are on your way.

Make sure to take stock every once in awhile and APPRECIATE that you are, in fact, living that life of "doing my best." And over time, that appreciation plus that motivation will lead to some good vibes about yourself.

I hope this helps some folks out there who, like me, find Affirmations, as they are commonly described, to be hokey as hell and counter-productive.

[aoyama-division]

Luis's Thoughts on Kobe Division

Ren Nakashima

"Ren Nakashima... oh, you mean 'Vox'. Yeah, I know him. Besides listening to a few of his songs, he actually comes here to Aoyama to my restaurant on a daily basis. He doesn't order anything fancy or specific. He always orders my restaurant's curry and a side dish to go with it. I don't really know how my curry is any different from anyone else's, but if he likes it, I'm not going to complain."

"Truthfully, Vox is a good musician. His songs are easy to listen to on calm days, though they can get overplayed a bit like Karada mentioned. Still, I do enjoy them. I don't know much about him, personally. Despite how he acts on stage, he's pretty chill and laid-back once you get to know him. I've heard rumors, though, that he can get... possessive with things he likes. I hope they aren't true. Or if they are, they aren't as bad as people make them out to be."

Max Soukoku

"...My teammates played it off, but... there is something very disturbing and dark about this kid. I don't know what it is, but... like Karada mentioned, his eyes make him seem cold and empty inside. I don't know what is, but... it's obvious that this kid has had a hard life, and has undoubtedly spilled blood before. What's more, I don't know if it's true, but there are rumors surrounding him that revolves around a group called "The Commission"."

"Growing up in a family that regularly employed assassins, it was impossible to not hear about them. But even my family knew better than to do something that involved those group of killers. ...If this kid is actually involved with them then..." Luis closes his eyes and makes a sign of the Cross with his hands.

"...Que la gracia y la misericordia de Dios llueven sobre todos y cada uno de nosotros."

("May God's grace and mercy rain down upon each and every one of us.")

Kaiji Sano

Luis looks at the boy of the crossdresser and groans, placing a hand over his face. "Oh boy. It's impossible to not know about this guy. Besides the fact, that his mother is well-acquainted with my own, like Tomi, I know each of his brothers. I know his oldest brother, Henri, cause his fiancee actually works at my restaurant. ...Or she did up until she quit, for some reason. I don't know Izana well, but he's good to speak to. Mikiya is my worst nightmare come to life: Tomi and Karada put together." Luis bristles at the thought.

"I don't know Claude well, but I don't think either of us mind or care since we don't like talking and were dragged to parties against our will. And Nagisa... the less I have to think or speak about that future violador, the better." Luis looks at the Sano family and shakes his head.

"And I thought my family had issues. But anyway, Kaiji... I don't know much about him other than the fact that some of my employees are fans of his on social media. Me, I don't see the big deal about him. I mean, no offense or anything, but what's so impressive about dressing up as the opposite sex? You can find people doing that a lot nowadays."

"Besides that, Karada has an obvious grudge against the guy. Why? Mainly cause Kaiji is able to spend more time with Lola over in Saitama than he is, mainly cause they work in the same profession. He's been asking me for help on how he can get Lola to notice him. I didn't know what to say. Do I look like a guru on love?" Luis stares at the screen as he asks the question.

Lovesick

"So, a rock star, an assassin, and a... what are they called... oh yeah, an Otokonoko, or a 'male girl' if you want to be descriptive. Kinda makes for an odd team, don't you think? I mean, I know there are stranger out there, but I think these guys are, at least, in the top 10. Still, despite how strange they may seem, we shouldn't underestimate them." Luis takes a gander at Max's photo again. "Especially this kid. If he's actually affiliated with "The Commission", then we're in a world of shit."

[audio-luddite]

Wretched Excess.... or not?

It is fun cruising the internoise. There are people who drive a Ferrari to work, if indeed work they do. The tiny percent people have money to spend and lots of help doing that.

I was baited into looking at a video from TAS about the old / new personality Michael Fremer. He is a recognized Guru for LPs and has a legitimately good reputation in professional recordings. He has movie music soundtracks and other cool stuff in his resume'. He also has a stupid expensive audio system.

I should also say it is very very good. But the expense cannot be overstated.

The video is a tour of his audio system. To be sure his main job is to review equipment and that entails a revolving door of hardware. But he does admit to owning a lot of 6 figure devices. Hey watch it and be amazed.

The word dumbfounded comes to mind. Holy Shit. Things like that.

There are some blogs and discussion boards that are amazed and actually hostile about this video. That is unfair. He has made lots of money and it is his business. If you got it flaunt it baby. For that even if I had a couple million to spend I would not get any of this stuff.

Fun thing is towards the end of this he does a party trick. This is what I really want to talk about here. He has a set of calibrated microphones that sit in your ears like earbuds. They turn his head into a legitimate binaural recording device. He assures us this is very accurate reflection of his experience. He played his system and sat in his chair. You can hear what he hears. I was on my headphones and it was impressive.

Now this was YouTube playing on my laptop, but it claims a High end (ya sure) sound card and has a funky music system logo embossed on the case. The earbuds were from my Iphone when they had a jack.

The music was clear and frankly impressive.

So much so I tracked down the artist and the album. Lori Lieberman a very good singer songwriter. Jazz and American songbook type music.

Fun fact my generation had two songs that perplexed and fascinated us. "American Pie" by Don Mclean, and "Killing Me Softly with his song" by Roberta Flack. Apparently Ms Lieberman went to a Don Mclean concert and was so moved she sketched out a poem on a napkin about it. That was shared with two others who helped write that song. It did not become a hit until R. Flack recorded it after hearing the original version while on a flight. Then those two partners tried to hide her contribution and even deny she was involved. Lawyers made money.

Explains why she quit the music business for a long time.

I listened to much of this album on Itunes in my car on the way home from work. I liked most of it. The song that Fremer played through his trick microphones was "Truly".

When I got home I fired up the franken-amp and the other stuff necessary for a couple hours to get it all warm and magically aligned. After dinner and home roasting a batch of coffee and a brutal aerobic workout I sat down to listen.

My goal was to listen to the same stuff that Fremer played on his six figure system on my four figure system with some consumer grade good stuff. I did this.

To be sure Iphone buds and my laptop are not SOTA. Fremer's system is about as SOTA as it can get. So the stuff I heard on my full size system was better. There was more clarity and I need another go to be sure but I heard deeper into the venue and arrangements and supporting musicians. Pretty damn good.

The album is available in all the fancy streaming formats and of course vinyl. I may buy it if I convince myself all the tracks are my cup of tea, or home roasted coffee.

Aside from everything else Fremer can pick high end albums like few others can.

[phoenixyfriend]

Time-Displaced Izuna

Me, smashing Founders Era and Canon Era dolls together: Now bicker!

Yesterday, my parents asked me to prep some potatoes for the holiday dinner, and in that time I came up with a Nonsense AU that does involve time travel and Fashion Guru Ino.

And Izuna being petty as hell.

Izuna, while dying, gets catapulted forward in time to that nebulous period between the Exams and Sasuke's defection. Obviously, Tsunade exists and is amazing and also in the general area, and goes "well, he's clearly an Uchiha, and we don't have a whole lot of those, and our existing Uchiha is one hell of a flight risk, so even if we can't get any useful information out of this guy dressed several decades out of fashion, I'm going to save his life."

Shit happens, Izuna gets shunted over to Sasuke's care (IDK if this is before or after Izuna's eyes get removed for Madara) while recovering, Sasuke is... 90% panic because Clan Member! But clan member who is Heavily Injured and must protec, and Izuna's mentality is "well, the clan might be dead, but two and a half surviving Uchiha is still winning over the singular surviving Senju, so I Win, Tobirama" because... yeah.

Sasuke doesn't want to dig through his dead family's secondhand stuff, most of which is seven years out of date, and Izuna admits that he wants to be In Fashion. Sasuke asks Sakura, because Sasuke wears monochrome rompers but Sakura actually knows things, and Sakura's like "Right. So. I'm getting Ino."

And Ino's response to seeing Izuna in the flesh, dressed in his best approximation of modern fashion, is obviously "Oh honey, no."

I just want Ino to be a fashion guru to a time-traveler.

I also really like the mental image of Izuna having to deal with Tsunade,  because Tsunade's energy is so different from anything most people deal with, I think.

God, just imagine him trying to pick fights with Tsunade at the drop of a hat.

Izuna: She's a Senju, why do you listen to her? Sasuke: ...I'm thirteen and she's legally my head of state?

Izuna: You can't just let her boss you around! Sasuke: She's four times my age and can fistfight a boss summons, I don't know what you're hoping to hear.

Tsunade: Listen, either you can work for me as a shinobi, or I can get you sent back to T&I, it's up to you. Izuna: Bullshit, as if you could-- Tsunade: There is an entire village ready to fight you on my word. I may not be on the same level as my grandfather's generation, but I have an army, and I personally saved your life three days ago. Izuna: I don't owe you anything. Tsunade: Uh-huh. You wanna go nukenin and drag your family's name even further through the mud? Izuna: Says the alcoholic gambler. Tsunade: Hm. Yeah, okay, ANBU! Get this guy over to Psych for an eval. Izuna: Wait what.

(...why do I love S-rank characters being petty bitches to each other?)

Tsunade: You work for me now. Izuna: You wanna bet? Shizune, slamming the door open: NO.

But also... I have a Thought...

Tsunade tells Izuna that she's keeping him around for THIS reason: to keep her skills sharp as he tries to kill her.

Izuna: Uh... can't you just kill me instead? Tsunade: After all the effort I went to so I could save your life? No. You're going to be my lackey. Izuna: I hate you. Tsunade: Tough shit.

CONSIDER: GAI CHALLENGES IZUNA TO A SPAR. (IDK where to take this idea beyond just. Izuna going wtf wtf wtf.)

Kakashi, not looking up from his book: Good luck, honey, kick his ass!

Asuma: Should we be worried? Kakashi: No, Gai's going to be fine. He knows how to fight a Sharingan. Asuma: Gai's not the one I'm worried about.

Asuma, cupping his hands around his mouth: Hey Uchiha! You're gonna get your ass kicked! Izuna: [murder eyes] Asuma, shrugging: Well, I warned him.

It's the "Sasuke gets his ass kicked by Rock Lee" scene but taller.

Izuna starts demanding more spars with Gai because this is unacceptable! The vibe I get from Izuna in this AU is Miraculous Ladybug's Chloe going "Ridiculous! Utterly Riiiiiiiiiii-diculous!"

Ino decides to make it her job to matchmake Izuna with someone.

"Don't you want Sasuke-kun to have some little cousins running around?" "I'm his great-grandfather, so I'm pretty sure they'd be, like... half-great-uncles or something." "I'm not hearing a no."

I didn’t know Izuna had a canon age until I got into a conversation about it while brainstorming this yesterday, but apparently he died at 24, which is only a year off from what I’d been headcanoning, so I’m pretty happy to work with that.

I'm not gonna lie: my thought was that Ino sets Izuna up on a blind date with Anko.

It's only kind of a joke. Unfortunately for Sasuke, it turns out Izuna REALLY likes Anko. I want to imagine he’s very O.O about her. I want Izuna easily flustered.

[nitannichionne]

Henry Cavill Imagine -  If He Was YOUR Fan...

You made it!

You got into the small panel that gets to listen to the Henry Cavill interview pushing for the release of his next project. You went through three interviews and three COVID tests, but damn it, you made it! And who gives a DAMN about a quarantine when you get home?! This is a bucket list item!

You and seven other people got picked to ask questions from the audience. You’re not surprised. You’ve seen that before. To keep the audience focused from asking uncomfortable questions, people are planted to actually ask questions that Henry would be ready for in order to keep everything moving in a positive direction.

You are given a question to memorize, and your mouth drops. 

Do you read fan fiction and do you have any favorites? What do you think of people who write it?

Your heart sinks. You are here, made it, and the idea of asking such a question knowing you write and cast him in roles all the time heats your cheeks and makes you tremble with fear and anticipation.

“Are you okay with this?” the promoter asks.

You nod vigorously. “Yeah, yeah, sure.”

You check yourself out. You are in a white t-shirt and blue jeans with light suede jacket and boots, looking all the classic girl next door. Are you overdressed or underdressed? You feel your stomach twist and ask for water as you feel a blanket of heat cover you. You drink the cold water, letting it cool and steady you as it travels your body and take a deep breath. You can and are going to do this.

You are filed in with the other panel goers and your heart goes still as introductions are made. You unconsciously hold your breath as you watch him stride across the stage and take a seat, smiling enigmatically for fans and doing a wave the royals would be jealous of. He scans the audience and for just a second he blinks at you. You imagined it, of course, you chuckle to yourself. You have always believed your best assets are inside you, but on the outside you’re no beauty pageant winner or fitness and fighting guru to attract attention like that. 

He takes a seat and he talks about his next project. He seems excited as the interviewer asks the usual questions, giving him the opportunity to sell the movie and flirt with the audience a little. He shows a clip that gets great support and applause. 

It’s time. The interviewer finally opens questions to the floor and you watch the mic people act like they are trying to pick people and you try not to laugh as you watch your fellow conspirators get picked, one by one. You raise your hand as you’re supposed to, but they are not picking you. WHAT?

There are two questions left in the fix and finally, you’re picked. You rise to your feet and ask, “Do you read fan fiction, what do you think of it and do you have any favorites?” That didn’t come out right, but it all came out, you think as you feel like sitting back down.

He smiles.

“Yes,” he chuckles. “When I have time.” He pauses. “I think it’s really flattering, all of it. Someone takes the time to weave these stories about or around you is...just humbling in a lot of ways. There are some out there who have writing chops and I actually reread those. I have favorites...” He pauses.

Your ears ring as you hear Henry’s voice say your writing pseudonym and a few of your titles. You swallow hard, your mouth going dry and throat feeling like sandpaper. His smile is all-knowing. He knows it’s you! “I’d like to meet her someday.”

The last question from another person came. “Do you follow fans?”

“Most celebs follow fans under false identities they pick but they can’t contact them because it’s hard to tell where their hearts truly are, but I can honestly say, we appreciate you, we really do. We are fans too.”

You tremble, but muster a smile and sit. DEAR GOD. 

It ends and you measure your long stride quick steps out of there. You are trying to breathe normally. This was surreal. You take a deep breath and start heading out. It was nice to hold his gaze, you tell yourself. That was a moment you’d never forget--

You hear your name called and turn to see security. You walk toward them and they toward you. You are taken back toward that area where they gave you your questions to ask. And then coming down the hall you see him.

“You’re fast,” he says coming toward you. “I was afraid you were going to get away.”

He is coming toward you and you are walking toward him. You shake your head. This isn’t happening right now. Forget the movie star shit. This is a good looking guy, representative all the guys who overlooked you, friend-zoned you and complained about their prettier matches to you...all that shit. Hard to think he’s full of himself in plaid and jeans. The suits were like public armor to you, but he looks so damn...approachable...normal...

“So...?” His smile is easy as he stops in front of you. 

You stop and nod, smiling and take a deep breath, looking up at him. “So.”

@mistress-of-ward @nuggsmum @messyinsomniacbookgirl @jencanbeyouryengeralt​ @sweetdreamsofgelato​ @maryann84 @omgkatinka​ @the-soot-sprite @vikingraider @keanureevesisbae​ @henryobsessed​ @summersong69​ @kinbhot4henners​ @sunshine96love​ @michelehansel​ @radofrivia @thelastsock​

[rfamess]

This cured my boredom for a little bit. Was making a few new music playlists and thought.. hmm. I wonder what kind of music the RFA listens to? So, I made this. For no reason at all.

What Kind of Music the RFA + V/Saeran Listen To:

Saeyoung/707:

- (I always see people writing that he’d listen to all star or other cringe meme songs because that’s what seems to be his entire personality, but I like to think he has more substance than that and listens to songs that don’t have to do with memes.)

- He definitely listens to rap/hip-hop.

- Can you not imagine him driving down the road in his cars, windows down, music blasting?

- He listens to his music uber loud in his headphones while working.

- His favorite artist is probably Tyler the creator, i mean, how could you not love him.

- Listens to Mac Miller when he’s sad :(

PLAYLIST:

Who Dat Boy - Tyler the Creator

Stutter - Freddie Dredd

Evil Fantasy - Freddie Dredd

Sweatpants - Childish Gambino

Bounce - Logic

Dead Wrong - Notorious B.I.G.

Movement - Oliver Tree

Stick to Your Guns - Watsky

Both - Gucci Mane

No Sleep Till Brooklyn - Beastie Boys

Can I Kick It - A Tribe Called Quest

No Limit - G Easy

Circles - Mac Miller

Broke Bitch - TMG (lol)

Bonfire - Childish Gambino

I THINK - Tyler the Creator

Good News - Mac Miller

I - Kendrick Lamar

FACE - Brockhampton

King Kunta - Kendrick Lamar

Lovely Things Suite: Knots - Watsky

Zen:

- (Similar to Saeyoung, I don’t believe Zens entire personality revolves around musicals, he probably doesn’t listen to them that often imo.)

- I like to think he’s a... well rounded individual when it comes to music

- Listens to anything and everything.

- I could see him listening to the same music as Seven, but is also very into 70s-90s rock like the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the like.

- He runs listening to all of his music on shuffle and doesn’t have a specific playlist so there’s never a certain vibe to it— it really is all over the place.

- In addition to Seven’s playlist, here’s Zen’s

PLAYLIST:

Funny Face - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Santeria - Sublime

Badfish - Sublime

The Luck You Got - The High Strung

Dedicated to the One I Love - The Mamas and the Papas

Heart of Glass - Blondie

Come as You Are - Nirvana

Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison

Machu Picchu - The Strokes

Dirty Harry - Gorillaz

Love of Your Life - Red Hot Chili Peppers

The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes

Bailee - The Licks

Where is my Mind - Pixies

Hurt Like Mine - The Black Keys

Gap - The Kooks

Give it Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand

Hoops - The Rubens

Conquest - The White Stripes

Ten Cent Pistol - The Black Keys

Yoosung:

- Yoosung likes more upbeat music, maybe more new age/alternative pop

- Listens to music every time he tries to study, but usually get distracted by it and starts to sing along instead of actually doing his work

- Is probably trying to branch out of his style, Seven and Zen try to convince him to listen to their favorite genres

- The three of them always argue about who has the best taste in music lol

- He’s constantly wondering if his music is “manly” enough (it’s okay yoosung it’s just music)

- If this dude gets drunk and hears any of this music he goes absolutely wild and dances all over the place

PLAYLIST:

Bambi - Hippocampus

Turn - the Wombats

Paris - Magic Man

Chronic Sunshine - Cosmo Pike

Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At the Disco

Silvertongue - Young the Giant

Brazil - Declan McKenna

Unbelievers - Vampire Weekend

Baseball - Hippocampus

Australia - The Shins

Prune, You Talk Funny - Gus Dapperton

Honeypie - JAWNY

Alien Boy - Oliver Tree

Satellite - Guster

So Young - Portugal. The Man

Blinding Lights - The Weeknd

Circles - Post Malone

Unbearably White - Vampire Weekend

Tiny Umbrella - Coast Modern

Way it Goes - Hippocampus

Electric Feel - MGMT

Jumin:

- this guy has 2 modes and that’s it: classical bitch or music that has words

- He appreciates the fine art of classical music and listens to it when he has work to get done or when he’s trying to relax.

- If he’s in a good mood he’ll put on a playlist that includes “music with actual lyrics!”

- It’s a dad playlist. Billy Joel, Billy Joel, Billy Joel, Elton John, The Beatles, Billy Joel.

- He likes Billy Joel. Jumin has a dad personality you can’t convince me otherwise lol

- He tried to branch out but can get very picky in his interests. “I don’t like this guitar riff— change it”

- Either way his 2 modes are apparent in his playlists

PLAYLIST:

Dreams - Fleetwood Mac

California Dreamin’ - The Mamas and the Papas

Don’t Ask Me Why - Billy Joel

Starman - David Bowie

Miss You - The Rolling Stones

Dancing in the Moonlight - King Harvest

Come and Get Your Love - Redbone

It’s Too Late - Carole King

Movin’ Out - Billy Joel

A Horse With No Name - America

I Want to Hold Your Hand - The Beatles

Honky Cat - Elton John

Vienna - Billy Joel

The Stranger - Billy Joel

Waltz in A Minor - Chopin

Hungarian Dance No. 5 in G Minor - Brahms

Waltz No. 7 in C Sharp Minor, Op. 64, No. 2 - Chopin

Souvenir de Paganini - Chopin

Solfeggietto in C Minor - Bach

Prelude in B Minor, Op. 32, No. 10 - Rachmaninoff

IV. Allegro Molto From Quartet - Yo-Yo Ma

La Fille Aux Cheveux de Lin - Debussy

Porz Goret - Yann Tiersen

Carnival of the Animals: VII. Aquarium - Camille Saint-Saëns

Carnival of the Animals: XIII. The Swan - Camille Saint-Saëns

Jaehee:

- We all know her obsession with Musicals (specifically zens)

- Other than this she listens to...well honestly I don’t know

- Her music doubles as something she can get hyped up with and something she can listen to to relax.

- She loves to dance, so a lot of her songs and just songs that she’ll never be able to refuse to move her feet to!

- She likes the old classics and then she likes Doja Cat. Lizzo? Queen.

- She’s a barb let’s be real please. you can never convince me that she’s not

PLAYLIST:

Adore You - Harry Styles

She - Harry Styles

Call Me - Blondie

Starships - Nicki Minaj

Hey Mickey - Toni Basil

Juice - Lizzo

Say So - Doja Cat

Voulez-Vous - ABBA

Waterloo - ABBA

Cuz I Love You - Lizzo

Killing Me Softly With His Song - Roberta Flack (LOL the memories associated with this song after Killing Stalking..... hahahaha BUT ITS STILL A GREAT SONG!)

Only - Nicki Minaj

Boss Bitch - Doja Cat

Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

Beez in the Trap - Nicki Minaj

Woman - Harry Styles

9 to 5 - Dolly Parton

Blame it on the Boogie - Michael Jackson

One Way or Another - Blondie

Tia Tamera - Doja Cat

Truth Hurts - Lizzo

V:

- indie boy indie boy indie boy indie boy

- Cmon just look at him he’s an indie boy

- If you’ve ever met a film student that gatekeeps music, they have the same exact taste but V won’t say shit to make you feel stupid. It’s just music bruv

- If you’ve ever been to an indie concert you know the fuckin dance you know what I’m talking about. he does that.

- Rolls a joint, pops the music off and he paints, does photography, whatever. Either way he straight vibes every single time the tunes come on.

- Low key thinks he has the best music taste. that’s just how dem indie kids roll let’s be real here.

- For some reason knows everything about every type of music. will spew facts about artists and songs at random

PLAYLIST:

Shuggie - Foxygen

Necessary Evil - Unknown Mortal Orchestra

Homage - Mild High Club

Another One - Mac DeMarco

Plants - Crumb

What Once Was - Her’s

Heart and My Car - Summer Salt

Cottage Roads - The Walters

Moonlight on the River - Mac DeMarco

Work This Time - King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

Like Yesterday - Paul Cherry

Call it Fate, Call it Karma - The Strokes

Knowhere - Nick DeLaurentis

Escargot Blues - Guantánamo Bay Surf Club

A Side / B Side - Tipling Rock

Dark Red - Steve Lacy

That I Miss You - Vansire

Top Tier Love - Lonely Benson

Driving to Hawaii - Summer Salt

Taking Up Space - Mustard Service

She’s the Only One - King Guru

Saeran:

- emo boy emo boy emo boy

- We all know it

- As much as I’d love to say he listens to heavy death metal, there’s a part of my mind saying NO he’s not like that.

- Well he is, but he’s got more than a few single interest

- Probably listens to Nirvana, Cage the Elephant, anything similar

- Is always trying to listen to new music

- Kind of sick of Seven blasting his music all the time and listens to the opposite of hip hop whenever possible

- Honestly enjoys all types of music, but sticks to his favorites

PLAYLIST:

- All Apologies - Nirvana

- Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier

- Soma - The Strokes

- Black Madonna - Cage the Elephant

- Hysteria - Muse

- Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High - Arctic Monkeys

- I Got Mine - The Black Keys

- Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

- Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers

- Back Against the Wall - Cage the Elephant

- Creep - Radiohead

- Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana

- Demon Days - Gorillaz

- Bulls on Parade - Rage Against The Machine

- Matador - The Buttertones

- Holiday - Green Day

- RIP - The Licks

- London Calling - The Clash

- Loser - Beck

- What I Got - Sublime

[halfgclden]

EPISODE 32: A MAJOR OCCURANCE

The sound of spooky intro music plays and fades out. As the microphone clicks on, faint sounds of water and traffic can be heard in the background.

JADE: Hello cryptwizzlers, cryptrackers, but never cryptormentors because we’re all friends here. Welcome to a very special episode of Cryptwins in which we are not actually researching a cryptid. But! Before you shut this off and call us hacks, we are instead researching the recent disappearance of social media fitness guru; Edison Major.

More spooky music plays. There is also the sound of fingers tapping a rhythm. It's typical Joel, unable to contain his energy as he taps the dashboard in time with their intro music.

JOEL: Weeeeeeeell...Maybe we are hacks. —a pause as he laughs— Nah, just kidding. This is the real deal. I'm not sure you're ready for this. This is some spooky, and excuse my French, spooky shit. Tell us more about this Major disappearance? —another laugh— Get it?

JADE: [A short laugh-sigh is let out at Joel’s joke.] Okay, before we begin, two things. One, get ready for the barrage of major and minor jokes, courtesy of Joel here.

JOEL: Got a whole list, be ready! He lets Jade finish, but listeners can still hear the tapping sound while she speaks.

JADE: Secondly, we’re still on the road here, so if the audio is bad or choppy... deal with it? —another small laugh— Anyyyyway. Spooky is right. This all began in September of last year, when @majored posted a picture of himself in a dark basement wearing a weird costume and then immediately went off the grid. And, you know, I’m all for a social media cleanse, people do it all the time. Buuut, what really brought this to our attention was a month later, on Halloween Eve of all nights, when a video popped up of him getting his ass kicked by someone in a Kakashi Hatake costume.

JOEL: Now, I know y'all are asking yourselves "Isn't he a fitness guru? Why was some weeb kickin' his ass?" And to that I say hey! Some weebs are strong, some are Super Saiyan, and others are Kakashi Hatake, the most talented ninja in Konohagukure.

JADE: lets out a laughing wheeze.

JOEL: We don't endorse fighting here. But I digress —a laugh— back on topic. So this guy just up and disappears out of nowhere? And there's not a peep of him until we see Kakashi givin’ him the business. What does this all mean?

JADE: Okay, so, let’s get the full story. @majored goes off the grid, comes back to get his ass kicked by a Naruto character, disappears again, comes back to spit on someone and call them a see you next Tuesday, and then disappears again. And he hasn’t come back online. So what’s up with that? Well... we did a little digging.

Another spooky noise plays over the sound of Jade organizing a stack of papers.

JOEL: Daaaaaaang. I’d say those are some fightin' words, especially from someone who keeps pulling a vanishing act, don’t ya think?

JADE: They really are! I mean, he is from New Zealand, but even so, I think you don’t use that word unless you want to attract some attention. -She clicks her tongue as she gets back on topic- The video was originally posted the night before Halloween of last year, by @ime.are on Twitter. Obviously they got a lot of hate and questions after posting this, but all of them were left unanswered. The only person in the video that was tagged was Major, but upon further examination, this Ime seems to follow and have pictures with someone who happened to be dressed as Kakashi that same night, which has led many to speculate that these ninjas are the same person.

JOEL: So we all know Halloween's a spooooky season. Perfect for parties and all that jazz. But all those costumes make it a perfect time for disguises. Was that even the real Major? Was the person who spit the real Major? Who is this Ime and how do they fit into the story? And who— a pause for dramatic effect and muffled laughter as he tries to stay serious— is this mystery ninja? Tell us more!

JADE: Alright, alright. So this mystery ninja goes by Abel, or @_kllledbycain on the Gram. At first glance, they look pretty much like every other TikTok e-boy; black and white photos, pet snake, the insinuation that they’re dead, whole nine yards.

JOEL: snorts when Jade announces their handle, and again at her eboy comment, wheezing. It's true, it's true!

JADE: And this stuff is so common right now, so nothing really raises any eyebrows, right? Right? Well, tell me, why would a Tik Tok goth go around beating the crap out of a random influencer? Stay tuned for the theory. First, we’re gonna take a step back and look at the whole situation, because, of course, it doesn’t end there.

JOEL: Ohhhh snap! I'm on the edge of my seat, and I bet our listeners are too.

JADE: [clears her throat] So if we go back to the original poster of the video, @ime.are, and we take a look at their Insta, who is on it but... @devinitely? Okay, so @devinitely is in the same place as @majored, clearly, and, for anyone that doesn’t know, she’s been doing a bunch of collabs with @loganvance. This places not one, not two, but three influencers all together in this place where weebs are running around assaulting people.

JOEL: Okay. Okay, I need to know! Where are they? What's bringing all these influencers together? Are @devinitely and @loganvance part of something much more sinister than it seems? [He makes a funny face at Jade and wiggles his fingers, before dropping his voice to a stage-whisper.] Is it some kind of twisted influencer cult?

JADE: Shhhh, Joel, spoilers.

JOEL: [He laughs.] Sorry, sorry!

JADE: [muffled laughter over the sound of more papers rustling.] So, any skeptics out there might say, oh, well, this Ime Are is just a lucky person who happens to be in the presence of more than one social media personality. However, Devin follows the weeb that may or may not have kicked Major's ass. And, according to a cast photo of Rocky Horror, on her boyfriend's Instagram, both the weeb in question and the hot man that tore the two apart were part of the cast. This would be a great time to mention that a link to the video is in the description, as are all the pictures from social media that I'm referencing.

JOEL: [to Jade but loud enough for the mic to pick it up at regular volume] Oh snap, you got everything together in a link? Like, I could click the link to check it out right now? — A pause as he does just that.— Woah, cryptwizzlers, she's not kidding. Click the link in bio, you won't be disappointed. Okay, Jade...hear me out. Given that it was Halloween, the night of nights. Do you think that...maybe it was all an elaborate event? Was it staged? Is any of this real?

JADE: Oh, my dear brother, always the skeptic. Don’t you think that it’s a bit much for him to stop posting entirely in order to get publicity? And we mustn’t forget the spitting on someone in South Dakota, that’s not exactly his brand. Unless he’s trying out something like Taylor Swift and Reputation but... I digress. No, I don’t think any of this is staged, and I’ll tell you why. Let’s go back to the weird cow print basement post. You know who also happened to post something about some cowboy party? Oh, um, Devin’s boyfriend? A picture of him, Devin, and Logan? Which... puts them and Major in the same place on the night that he disappeared.

JOEL: Not a skeptic! Just trying to get all these questions answered. —A laugh— You're right, that's 180 from the online presence he used to have. All theories aside, —a pause— I'd love to go to a cowboy party. Get me a glow-in-the-dark cowboy hat. You know they make 'em. —He laughs again, mouthing 'what?' to Jade.—

JADE: Oh, def. We're getting matching hats. Check out our merch in a few weeks —she laughs— Glow in the dark mothman themed cowboy hats, talk about a niche.

JOEL: Snap, we have to do that now, 'cause I want one real bad. But okay, back on track. This cowboy party. The origin of this theory, yeah? Oh snap...what were those three doing in the same place as Major? And all in cow print too? That's....majorly suspicious! [He trails off into laughter, his voice doing that wheezy thing when someone's trying to finish their sentence before cracking up. Recovering, he adds the following.] Wait, wait, wait. What about—

JADE: Yes, yes, yes. —she cuts Joel off as though he's finished his sentence, chuckling at his joke— Patience, my dear twin, we will get there. —the smile is evident in her voice—

JOEL: I feel like somehow, I ended up as your Padawan for this episode. — he laughs—

JADE: You heard it here, I'm absolutely schooling Joel this episode. — she laughs— First, we're going to backtrack all the way to the original poster again. You know we snooped their whole page, and they're pretty regularly posting pictures with this person, @rengaaay, who isn't an influencer but she makes some of those sick ass roller skating videos... this isn't sus, just cool, link in the description. —a slight pause as she tries to get back to her train of thought— Anyway, what is sus is that she tags two people in her photos all the time... But no joke guys check out their Insta profiles they look different in like every other picture. Which, uh, could just be editing but also could be something.... more sinister? Hold onto that thought.

JOEL: That's such a good handle, dang! Better than @lumberjoel, honestly. I have to say I'm jelly. We should get branded rollerskates, maybe @rengaaay can advertise for us if we ship them. JK...unless? —more laughter as he waits for Jade to get back on the train and pulls up the profiles in question to take a look for himself— Huh...is it editing? Are they masters of disguise? Makeup professionals? —He starts to say something else but is pretty sure he's figured out where Jade's going with this.— What could be more sinister than human chameleons?

JADE: [The sound of papers shuffling can be heard] Oh, yeah, so, it's weird but I think every time the siblings are in a pic together they look more like each other? I dunno if this really makes sense but seriously dudes check the post with this episode because it has a bunch of photos side by side and... yeah. You pull a photo of them by themself and it's like okay, I know what this dude looks like and then you put them side by side and... I dunno, makeup? Contacts? Cloning, mayhaps? And, just so that I'm not just holding on to one thing too much... check their post from August 12th, linked below. Their brother... doesn't have a shadow. Why would you edit that out of a photo? No way are they going that hard to be memelords.

JOEL: Okay, let me look at this. Wha— That's weird as hell. How much hair dye do these two use? Hm. Could be clones? —snaps his fingers—Definitely clones. —he snorts loudly, laughing before clearing his throat— Ahem, uh. No shadow? That's dedication! I dunno, maybe it's some new challenge for the 'gram. Oh...but wait. I found a video. Look, Jade. No shadow. In a video. What the—

JADE: A video, guys. —A moment of muffled laughter before her mic cuts out, but the sound of it clicking on again is followed almost immediately— This is a big family, guys, and a big weird one because their other brother @sleepyfinch... Okay, wait, he himself is pretty normal, super cute, shout out, but guys, ghouls, you know who he has tagged in a recent post? Yet another influencer. Except this one is from Italy? @gaborealis; essentially, he’s a medium, so if you didn’t believe that the supernatural were at play beforehand... buckle up.

JOEL: Wait, wait, I'm still on the video thing. Who has time to edit a video? —his voice cracks when he says video and he covers his laughter as he focuses—

JADE: [wheezing] Shut up —there is no malice in her voice, and she’s laughing too.—

JOEL: So weird, I love it. Oh snap— the @gaborealis? It's time to get ghosty! —echoes "ghosty" and hums the Cha Cha Slide tune for a couple seconds— Okay, so wait. Does this mean everyone's favorite medium is also in the same place as...three? Three other influencers and this weird family of....maybe shapeshifters? No? Too crazy a theory?

JADE: You know what they say, cryptoddlers; no theory is too crazy. Everything Einstein came up with? Theory.

JOEL: Bringing Einstein into it, huh?

JADE: Oh you know it. —a snort— Anyway, according to Devin’s boyfriend’s Instagram, it doesn’t end there. @spencerkeahi, a youtuber and disability rights advocate who comes from Hawaii is also there with that gaggle. Shout out to @elidrising for tagging people and location. So what are these influencers from all corners of the globe gathering together for? Well, let’s take a look at the original poster again. You go on their Twitter, and a few months back it’s all just videos of people... fighting? In some sort of underground place. Mayhaps... the same creepy basement that Major posted his last photo? —a small gasp, as though she’s surprised by this— No, that must be a coincidence... or is it?

Another spooky sound plays

JOEL: @elidrising is the man, dang! Are you tellin' me there's a...—he lowers his voice to a whisper— secret influencers-only Fight Club? I wouldn't put it past @devinitely TBH. Honestly, I'd join one...even though I guess I've broken the first rule but talking about it, huh? Actually— Jay, do you think we'd even be allowed to join? Are podcasters influencers? Poll in my story right now, let us know what y'all think.

JADE: Right now? Joel, this isn’t going up for another week, at least. —She’s obviously trying to sound less amused than she’s coming off— Once we get the blue check we’re influencers, so we’ve got a few million followers to go, I think.

JOEL: Yeah, right now! They'll hear that when the episode goes up and respond in real ti— Oh, no. You're right. Oops. No poll in my story, y'all. False alarm. Blue check, huh? You heard it here, cryptwizzlers, we're gonna get that blue check. Tell your friends, tell your family. Heck, tell that cute barista at your coffee shop to listen to our podcast! We might just do a giveaway when we get that lil' blue swoosh.

JADE: [clears her throat.] You know what’s a great way to get us that blue check, though?

A different, light sort of spooky music begins playing in the background, meaning that it’s time for the ad break

JOEL: Take it away!

JADE: Checking out a little app called Creature Comforts. Alright guys, not that this show isn’t one hundred percent real as it is, but for real, I love this app. A dating sim that features everyone’s favorite... for lack of a better term, monsters. Did you watch the Shape of Water and go, “Damn, I’d tap that”? Do you want to snuggle with a Sasquatch? Do you just wish you could find yourself a GF with more eyes? Well, have we got the app for you. Creature Comforts lets you do all this and more. A choose-your-own-adventure game where you can smooch beasts, marry Mothman, and ignore the outside world. It’s seriously all I want. And, if you enter the code cryptwins— that’s the name of the podcast you’re listening to, no capital letters, when you download the app, then it’s only 99 cents to play without ads. Which, trust me ghouls, is worth it. I don’t want anything interrupting my cut scene with the most stunning eyes in West Virginia.

JOEL: Don't forget that scuba diving date with Nessie! Or, or...that half-day hike with Bigfoot. —he's laughing again smh— There's a reason Jade does the ad reads and not me. But, I can tell you that Mothman is sure to sweep you off your feet. And it's not just because he can fly.

JADE: It’s the —a pause for finger snapping— alliteration for me. But that’s Creature Comforts, exactly how you think you’d spell it, don’t ask us ‘cause we’re dyslexic, and cryptwins, like the name of this podcast. Tweet us @cryptwins to let us know how far along you are, who you’re pursuing, and what mysteries you unlock about their backstories. Now... I think it’s time for a timeline, just to get us sorted out, what do you think, Joel?

JOEL: Personally, I'm still tryin' to land a date with the Creature from the Black Lagoon. I guess we'll see what happens. Aw heck yeah! Give us a timeline, give us the dirt. — a laugh — Give the people what they want!

JADE: Okay — the shuffling of paper is heard once more — We start in September: @majored goes off the grid after posting a creepy picture of himself in a weird outfit in a spooky basement. This is around the same time that the Scarlet Surfer was in NYC for fashion week, which @majored accompanied him to, meaning that it isn’t entirely out of the question for him to still be in New York. Also on social media at this time is @devinitely and @loganvance also both is cowboy outfits, though the creepy basement is absent from both of them.

JOEL: I guess September isn't too early for weird Halloween stuff to start? What with the spooky basement and everything. Right? And everyone loves a cowboy moment— or have cowboys become the new clown? I heard there was a clown renaissance and people like them now? I don't really know where we stand on the whole clown— what?

JADE: I see our next hot debate. Cowboys: Hot or not? Personally, I liked cow print, but I can see cowboys going out soon. Once they reach killer clown status is when it’ll be ideal for me.

JOEL: Personally, I vote hot. And uhhh, not to kinkshame you Jay, but killer clowns are a no from me.

JADE: [tsks] Kinkshamed, by my own brother no less.

JOEL: [a loud laugh] You know I'm just kidding. No kinkshaking, ya heard? I'd literally let the Jersey Devil step on me so. To each their own.

JADE: [snorting] Um, gross.

JADE: Now to October: There is a production of Rocky Horror, a cast photo is uploaded to @elidrising, the account of @devinitely’s boyfriend. This places not only @devinitely and @loganvance in Montauk, but it also places @crispyboiz and @_kllledbycain in Montauk too. These are two of the people that are suspected to belong in the video by @ime.are, in which (suspected) @_kllledbycain, dressed as Kakashi Hatake attacked @majored, only to be torn apart by good citizen @crispyboiz. This video is the first that we’ve seen of @majored since his last post, and he offers nothing in response to it.

JOEL: Okay. Okay. Now, you know I love a good shadow-cast of Rocky Horror. I've always wanted to play Frank. I would rock that part. Am I wrong? —he laughs— But okay, that's - count 'em - three influencers in one place? If @elidrising is there, we can assume @devinitely is too because she was in the same location as, uh, whatshername? Logan? And that's the same location as @ime.are. Who took the video of  Kakashi kicking @majored's ass. @_kllledbycain— more like killedbyKakashi, eh? Seriously why are all these people together?

JOEL: [as an afterthought] It's gotta be a cult.

JADE: November to December: Nothing happens with @majored, @ime.are also offers nothing except for quote unquote “#teamkakashi”, which is funny because they never tagged Kakashi, but anyways. Upon deeper inspection, there are videos on their Twitter from last May, of people in a fighting ring. And then people fighting on a lake? But the fighting ring looks super dangerous and I dunno, like you said, cult-y? Fight-club-y? Call it what you will. In any case, we are led to believe that this fighting has been going on for some time in the background.

JOEL: Okay, come on. That’s definitely a cult. I’ve seen the movie, can confirm. — he groans— Literally what is an Italian astrologer doing there? Wait, wait, wait. Montauk? You said Montauk. Montauk, as in on Long Island. As in like —he drops his voice to a stage-whisper— the part of Long Island that peeps believe to be the site of a government cover-up involving kidnapping, mind control, and time travel? The part that inspired Stranger Things? That Montauk? Snap. I can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together sooner. Jade, Jade. What if this is, I don’t know, like, MKUltra 2.0?

JADE: Yes, yes that Montauk, I’m glad you picked up on that. Look, I’m not saying that it’s an influencer’s-only thing, but I am saying that some might be in the area, and maybe involved. At the same time throughout all of this, we have a culmination of more influencers seeming to know this network of people. @gaborealis, an Italian astrologer, is seen in pictures of @sleepyfinch, who was also in the production of Rocky Horror, and has pictures with @crispyboiz and, god, this name is a freaking nightmare, @_kllledbycain. Not to mention this guy has many pictures of weird… family members? Who sometimes look alike? Okay, but seriously, @kodakola and @sonofpeter, how is your hair not straw at this point? Is it wigs? I think my hair would simply fall out. And y’all using Insta filters or what, cause… I’m not gonna get into it, let’s keep going.

JOEL: Maybe they're makeup vloggers or something. Gotta change up the look for views, right? Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe and uhhhh, smash that follow button— or whatever YouTubers say. —he laughs— Okay but seriously, yeah. @sonofpeter, @kodakola, whatever you two are doing to your hair, let me know because I'm trying to bleach my hair and dye it bright purple without it falling out. And since we're doing it at our next stop, well, your advice will probably be too late. But still, what are your secrets? Is it...clones?

JADE: Joel! —she’s laughing again.— Timeline and then theories. —she clears her throat— After that long silence, a Tweet emerges. January 8th. "Can’t believe @majored SPAT on me and called me a C-Blank-Blank-T when he checked into @SDFamilyMotel last night”. This places Major across the country from where we believed him to be, but acting so strangely that one must wonder… was that really him? Or was it someone that just looked like him? Or was it a cry for help? Nothing’s been heard since from @majored, which I guess… leads us to our theories. —a pause— You were saying… clones, Joel?

JOEL: Sheeeeesh, this is not @majored's year. I gotta say, this sounds totally different from the vibe that this guy used to put out on his social media. Obviously Instagram is fake blah blah blah, you know the spiel, but like. Damn. He spit on them? —a pause as he considers what his sibling has said— You know....I think that's a really good point. Was that even the real him? Will the real Ed Major please stand up?

JADE: I know. It just seems out of character, and terrible for a reputation, but it also would make sense if... One, this is a fake @majored, meant to stir up controversy before he goes underground again. And with an action like spitting on someone and calling them a name like that? Who cares what the dude does after that? Unfollowed, cancelled, whatever. And why would this guy want to go underground, well, I'm glad you're so interested. Well, the official Cryptwins theory is that maybe... just maybe, the crazy, government cover-up Montauk that we all know and love isn't that far from truth. We see that they have means of covering up shadows —she lets out a laugh— and people whose faces just change? And who else is there, @spencerkeahi, someone who explains rehabilitation, maybe someone who has experience helping people get used to being a clone? @ime.are, a nurse who enjoys taking videos of people fighting? It all adds up, people!

JOEL: Yeah, seriously. With the real @majored MIA, there would be no one to combat the backlash from this supposed...clone? Imposter? And maybe that’s what they want. Looks like Montauk isn’t the ideal vacation spot anymore, huh? Even if their seaside cabins are super chill and homey. But I digress. Something sinister is going on. Something bigger than we can even imagine. A secret underground facility that’s...cloning influencers? Training them? Your guess is as good as mine. And that’s why we’re on this road trip, isn’t that right Jade? To get some answers?

JADE: Exactly. —it sounds as though she is holding back a laugh or a cough.— Cross country roadtrip in which we explore different topics like this one, and on the way, we'll document our progress and any spooky encounters. Check out our insta, @cryptwins to get all the updates, and consider hitting us up on Patreon if you want us to be able to afford the gas to get all the way to the east coast.

JOEL: I’ll be posting behind the scenes content in the “ROADTRIP” highlight on my Insta throughout the trip so be sure to check my stories. You might get lucky and find some special codes for Creature Comforts but, hey. You didn’t hear it from me. -he laughs and there’s the distinct sound of a bag of chips being opened- What Jade meant to say is gas and snack money. So yeah, go go go! Check out the Patreon! We might even do a giveaway at the end of our trip, get you guys some cool souvenirs we pick up on our travels. Not a bad idea, eh?

JADE: Joel, my ears are literally bleeding right now. Thanks. Anyway, our second theory will also be exclusive to our Patrons, so be sure to get the full video there. Cryptwins... out...

Her voice fades out and the music from the beginning fades in, takes over, and plays until the end of the track.

[aion-rsa]

How Tina Turner and Frank Zappa Whipped Up Some Dirty Love

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Tina Turner joins the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Class of 2021 in Cleveland this October, along with Jay-Z, Gil Scott-Heron, Todd Rundgren, Carole King, Foo Fighters, and The Go-Gos. Tina is already an honoree as a member of Ike and Tina Turner, and she is also once again distinguishing herself from the group. Even before she went solo, Turner had star billing, such as her turn as the Acid Queen in Ken Russell’s film adaptation of The Who’s Tommy.  But Tina had to skip the credits for her work with Frank Zappa, who was posthumously inducted into the Rock Hall in 1995.

Turner recently made a gracious exit from the stage in HBO’s feature documentary Tina. She is also highlighted in Apple TV+’s upcoming 1971: The Year That Music Changed Everything. This was the year Ike and Tina’s cover of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Proud Mary” hit No. 4 on Billboard’s Hot 100, becoming their biggest hit. Tina had already established herself as the draw of the musical couple when they signed to Phil Spector’s Philles label. The legendary producer paid extra to highlight Tina’s dynamic range on the single “River Deep – Mountain High,” which was released in May 1966.

Both documentaries skip one of Tina’s artistic highlights. 

Ike and Tina Turner opened the Bolic Sound studios complex at 1310 N La Brea Avenue in Inglewood, California, in 1970. It boasted incomparable state-of-the-art audio equipment for the time. “Bolic was one of the greatest studios I’ve ever seen,” Little Richard wrote in his introduction to Ike Turner’s 1999 autobiography Takin’ Back My Name. “He had everything in this studio. He had his own booking agency, and he was showing people how to produce.” Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Duane Allman recorded at Bolic Sound.

Frank Zappa recorded and produced two of his most recognizable albums at the studio: his ironically titled 17th album Over-Nite Sensation, which came out in 1973, and Apostrophe from 1974. Zappa was at the forefront of the avant-garde musical movement at the time. During his sessions, Ike and Tina Turner and the Ikettes were recording in the same studio complex. Zappa took advantage of the proximity to expand on his sonic landscape.

“I wanted to put some back-up singers on the thing, and the road manager who was with us at the time checked into it and said, ‘well, why don’t you just use the Ikettes?’ I said, ‘I can get the Ikettes?’ and he said ‘Sure,’” Zappa is quoted as saying in Barry Miles’ 1993 book, Zappa: A Biography.

The vocal trio The Ikettes were already iconic. They were one of the first recognized “Girl Groups” in rock and roll history. The ensemble was formed as the backing group of Art Lassiter and were originally called The Artettes. Ike saw the success Ray Charles had with his backing vocal trio The Raelettes. The original Ikettes included Robbie Montgomery, Venetta Fields and Jessie Smith. They became the Ikettes after Ike and Tina Turner’s first single “Fool In Love” became a hit in 1960, and the Ike and Tina Turner Revue wanted to play it live. Onstage, The Ikettes pushed soul music dance choreography into the stratosphere.

For Over-Nite Sensation, Tina Turner, Linda Sims, and Debbie Wilson appear on the songs “I’m The Slime,” “Dirty Love,” “Zomby Woof,” “Dinah-Moe Humm,” and “Montana.” You can hear them on Apostrophe on the songs “Cosmik Debris” and “Uncle Remus.”

Ike agreed to rent out his signature sounding vocal stylists while still stamping the project with his authority. “But you know what the gimmick was? We had to agree, Ike Turner insisted, that we pay these girls no more than $25 per song, because that’s what he paid them,” Frank says in Miles’ book. “And no matter how many hours it took, I could not pay them any more than $25 per song per girl, including Tina.”

That turns out to be a bit of an exaggeration. The singers were actually paid $25 per hour, according to the session’s invoice, which shows they got $187.50 each for 7 1/2 hours of service. But the singers worked for that money. The song “Montana” not only has constantly evolving time signatures, but also passages which change of speeds. The middle section is especially challenging. Besides the time changes, the harmonic progressions and the way they play against the bass counterpoint is unusual for rock, and challenging to perform.

“It was so difficult, that one part in the middle of the song ‘Montana,’ that the three girls rehearsed it for a couple of days,” Zappa recounted. “Just that one section. You know the part that goes ‘I’m pluckin’ the ol’ dennil floss’? Right in the middle there. I can’t remember her name, but one of the harmony singers, she got it first. She came out and sang her part and the other girls had to follow her track. Tina was so pleased that she was able to sing this thing that she went into the next studio where Ike was working and dragged him into the studio to hear the result of her labor. He listened to the tape and he goes, ‘What is this shit?’ and walked out.”

After hearing some of the recordings, Ike Turner insisted the Ikettes not be credited on the released albums. According to CD reissues, it appears he did not approve of the content. “Dirty Love” and “Dinah-Moe Humm” were among the most overtly sexual songs in Zappa’s catalog. These two songs may be the reason Ike wouldn’t sign off on letting his singing stable put their name on the record sleeves.

Of the other songs, “Zomby Woof” takes a bite out of lycanthropic fare, while “Cosmic Debris” turns the tables on a spiritual guru. “I’m The Slime” is about the brainwashing of everyday television. “Uncle Remus,” which takes its name from Joel Chandler Harris’ Br’er Rabbit stories, is an indictment on the then-current state of the civil rights movement compared with the time of Zappa’s 1966 song “Trouble Every Day.” That song looked at the Watts riots when Black folks were burning down buildings as well as the old status quo. In “Uncle Remus,” the most damage being done is “knocking the little jockeys off the rich people’s lawns.”

Ikettes Linda Sims and Debbie Wilson also recorded “Cheepnis,” Zappa’s classic ode to B-movies at Bolic Sound studio on December 12, 1973. This song was the “elsewhere” on the otherwise live album Roxy & Elsewhere (1974). The rest of the album was recorded at The Roxy Theatre.

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You can see that exceedingly fun footage here at The World of Ike & Tina YouTube Channel:

Both the Tina documentary and 1971: The Year That Music Changed Everything include segments covering the wounds Turner suffered as an artist, married to her boss, at the dawn of any kind of gender equality. The oppression she suffered under Ike’s tyrannical reign did not escape Zappa’s eye.

“I don’t know how she managed to stick with that guy for so long,” Zappa said in the Miles book. “He treated her terribly and she’s a really nice lady. We were recording down there on a Sunday. She wasn’t involved with the session, but she came in on Sunday with a whole pot of stew that she brought for everyone working in the studio. Like out of nowhere, here’s Tina Turner coming in with a rag on her head bringing a pot of stew. It was really nice.”

1971: The Year That Music Changed Everything premieres May 21 on Apple TV+.

The post How Tina Turner and Frank Zappa Whipped Up Some Dirty Love appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3uZtrWs

[treveonwest]

(PowerRuff Part 5) [ Mojo Jojo need's some love ]

Okay people here is this episode but I just want to say something you may notice that the text is not colored I have just decided that most of my posts of the Powerpuff Girl Story most of it is going to be colored but there are going to be some episodes /Splash pages that are not going to be colored mostly because it's a lot of work and coding is just not really my thing but let me stop talking and let me let you guys read

Butch) thanks for taking us to the park big bro

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Blaze) you're welcome I really didn't mean for us to stay that long it's getting dark now

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Boomer) yeah everything was fun until brick through dirt in my eyes

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Brick) you were fucking with me

Blaze) oh mr. Him I didn't know you were coming over I would have made some snacks before I left

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Mojo Jojo) oh don't worry about that Blaze he showed up a little bit unannounced

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Him) what's wrong JoJo you trying to pretend you don't want me here😉😉

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Mojo Jojo) *Blushes*

Him) hey boys long time no see

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Butch) what's up Dad number two

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Brick) you know he's not exactly our dad right

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Boomer) well of course we know that he just kind of feels like that

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Brick) well whatever did you bring us anymore stuff to blow shit up with

Him) no I'm sorry I didn't bring any of that today maybe next time today I'm just talking to your father about villain stuff stuff we need to do at the villain headquarters

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Brick) I wonder if we'll be able to go there when we get older

Blaze) I wouldn't waste my time on the villain headquarters it's basically just a whole bunch of adults talking about a whole bunch of evil plans and things that you don't even really know what's going on so pretty much it's one big ball of confusion

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Boomer) oh God that sounds like something you can fall asleep too

Mojo Jojo) hey boys can you three please go upstairs the bigger people kind of need to talk about something important and you three or just going to get bored listening to it

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Butch) sure thing pops

Boomer) okay you guys we need to discuss something so you guys have to agree with me that Dad needs a lover right

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Butch) yeah he would maybe be a little bit more happier and we would have a mom kind of

--------------------------------

Brick) yes Dad does need a girlfriend or boyfriend or something but what are you implying Boomer

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Boomer) well I get the feeling that Mr him like are dad and dad likes mr. Him so I think we should try to set them up

Brick) that just sounded kind of mushy and gross plus what do you even know about romance Boomer

Bommer) let's just say I know a little bit more about romance than you may think I do now I need you guys to be quiet so I can tell you the plan

Boomer) okay so first all use my magic to make a custom newspaper that says that power will be out for a while or maybe just like a couple of hours butch that is when you turn off all the power in the house by the circuit board I think that's what it's called

Boomer) and sense Blaze kind of goes out and helps people sometimes in the town which means he'll be out of the house leaving dad and mr. Him all to themselves it's dark and Blaze probably already made snacks so they have something to eat

Brick) wow Boomer that didn't actually sound like a bad idea

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Butch) yeah Boomer you should maybe be like a Love Guru

------------------------------

Boomer) aw shucks but stop buttering me up let's get this plan into action butch you go find the circuit breaker brick you go find us somewhere to hide that where we can see everything

Brick) aha behind those plants that's a perfect place to hide

Brick) okay I found a good place for us to hide that they're not going to see us

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Boomer) perfect Butch went outside to go turn off all the lights from the circuit breaker

Butch) okay now how do I turn the lights off again oh I think it's the switch right here

Him) huh?????

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Mojo Jojo) what the fuck

Boomer) okay now time to make that newspaper

Boomer) good find brick this is a perfect place to hide

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Butch) yes now we can see everything

Mojo Jojo) what the hell I don't remember there being a newspaper today

Him) what was that the door

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Mojo Jojo) I don't know just some random ass newspaper I'm going to read it maybe it has something to do with the lights being turned off

Him) does it say anything about the lights being turned off

---------------------------------

Mojo Jojo) *looking at him's butt* ummmmmm yeah yeah yeah it says something about the lights being turned off for an hour or two to save everyone's power or something

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Brick) is Dad looking at his butt

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Butch) well it's not like he has a flat butt

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Boomer) *hits butch in the head* stop it

Brick) well now they just look bored talking

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Butch) yeah are you sure this is going to work Boomer

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Bommer) yes I know potential love when I see it they obviously like each other we just have to be patient

Him) do you know Mojo what would make your face look better

----------------------------------------

Mojo Jojo) ummmm what?????

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Him) my legs wrapped around it

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Mojo Jojo) *blushes hard*

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Butch) I bet dad's not even going to flirt back

Mojo Jojo) well you know what him ...... I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can make the bed rock

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Him) *blushes*

Brick) wow I never knew dad had that in him

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Boomer) yeah sometimes he seems like the kind of guy that would think flirting is repulsive

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Butch) maybe that's where I get my flirtiness from

Mojo Jojo) alright him what did you want to talk to me about

-----------------------------------------

Him) well Mojo I wanted to tell you .................. I really like you I'm not just joking around when I'm flirting with you I really like you and I've liked you for a long time and I think that I can be a good parent to the boys but from the way you get irritated with me I'm going to assume you don't like me back I just wanted to let you know how I felt

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Mojo Jojo) *smiling*

Mojo Jojo) him to stop talking

                                                  The End

[sunmoonandeddie]

(FAKE) BOYFRIEND DOES MY MAKEUP CHALLENGE BECAUSE I GOT DUMPED

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 4,029

summary: If there’s one thing you hate more than anything, it’s disappointing your viewers.  But it’s looking like you might have to, since after your breakup with fellow YouTuber Thor Odinson, you have no one to film a highly requested Boyfriend Does My Makeup Challenge video.  That is, until your best friend, Natasha, steps in.

warnings: swearing

masterlist

a/n: Let me know what you think!

“Nat, what the fuck am I going to do?”  You asked with a groan, flopping back onto your bed.  Your typically immaculate bedroom was in a state of disarray. Clothing was littered all over the floor, your bed hadn’t been made in days.  Hell, you couldn’t remember when you last showered, let alone cleaned your room.

“First things first, you’re going to shower,” the redhead said, her nose scrunching up as she sat behind you on the bed.  “Because—and I say this with so much in my heart—you reek.”

You huffed, glaring up at her.  “I’ve been having a rough time.”

“I know,” she said, though that didn’t stop her from pulling you off the bed and pushing you towards the bathroom.  She even went as far as starting the water for you and setting two towels on the toilet for you to grab.  “I thought that it was mutual,” she said, having to almost shout over the roar of the water as she pulled herself up to sit on the sink counter.

You frowned at the wall as you lathered the shampoo into your hair.  “It… was.  But I don’t know…,” you said, “We were together for almost two years.  I thought…  I thought he was the love of my life.  I guess it just hurts to be wrong.”

And that’s truly what the root of it was.  You and Thor had been together for a little over a year and a half and it had easily been the best relationship of your life.

But that was clearly over.

You leaned your forehead against the wall, letting the hot water just run over you.  “It probably says something that I’m mostly upset about not being able to give my viewers that Boyfriend Does My Makeup video, huh?”

Natasha barked out a laugh, a smile tugging at her lips.  She knew you’d be okay after she got you out of your filth. Cleaning your room could come later. First thing after your shower was to get you out of the house.  “At least it was mutual and he didn’t, like, cheat on you or anything.”

You scrubbed at your skin with a loofah, letting your conditioner sit in your hair.  “We both know that Thor would never cheat on anyone.  He can’t keep a secret to save his life, and he’d feel too bad.”

“You’ve got a point,” she said, picking up her phone as it dinged with a notification.  “Hey, is it okay if we stop by Sam’s before going grocery shopping?”

“I don’t care,” you said, finishing washing up.  You hadn’t been to her boyfriend’s house, but you’d known him since the two of them got together two years before.  Every time you’d seen him, it was usually at Natasha’s house.  “I thought he filmed on Wednesdays?”

“He does, but he left his favorite pair of tennis shoes at my place.”

Fitness gurus and their fucking tennis shoes.

You finally got out of the shower and brushed your teeth, pulling on fresh clothes for the first time in days.  And yeah, it was a hoodie and a pair of leggings, but it still counted.

“No makeup?” Nat asked quietly, and you bit your lip, frowning. The thought of stepping into your filming room was too much at the moment, and that’s where you kept all your makeup.

Part of being a beauty guru and all.

Her hand went to your cheek, pinching it softly before heading for the front door.  “Well, you know you look stunning no matter what.”

You let out a weak laugh.  “Even when I’m crying?”

“Even when you’re crying.”

Your phone went off when you were almost to Sam’s, and you had to restrain yourself from throwing it out the window.

“Do you still have notifications on for him?” Natasha asked, looking at you with huge green eyes from the driver’s side.

“Um…  No?” You hid your phone screen from her the best you could.

She reached over, grasping at it even though she was the one driving.  “Hand me your phone.”

“What?!  Nat, you’re driving!”

“Give me the phone!”

“No!”  You were seriously considering rolling down the window when she snatched it from your hands.

She held onto it until she pulled into Sam’s driveway, reading, “@thorodinson tweeted: ‘New Video Posted: Life Update.’”  She turned to you, saying, “Oh, come on.  That doesn’t mean it’s about—”

You rolled your eyes, hitting the video and opening it.  Your ex’s god-like face popped up on the screen, and he looked a little worse for wear.

“Hello, uh, everyone,” Thor said, rubbing his hands on his jeans.  “So, uh…  If you haven’t watched my last video, my girlfriend and I decided to end things.  I know this’ll come as a shock to everyone—”

Natasha shut off the video, grumbling as she grabbed Sam’s tennis shoes from the backseat, “Okay, okay.  But you two are the ones who decided to upload a breakup video together, à la Liza and David.”

“It’s not like we hate each other,” you said as the two of you finally got out of the car.  You stared up at the house, eyes widening as you shoved your hands in the pocket of your hoodie.  It was easily one of the biggest houses you’d ever seen.  “We were good friends before we started dating, and even if it takes us a while, we’ll get back to that eventually.  At least, I hope so.”

“That’s a tall order, Bambi.”

“Well, good thing he’s six foot four or whatever.”

She gave you the look that you called the Romanoff Stare, before slipping her key into the front door.  “Sam? Baby?  I’m here!” She called out, leading you inside.

“Sometimes I forget how much money Sam has,” you said as you looked around the front foyer.  It was absolutely stunning, with gorgeous marble flooring and dark mahogany furniture. There was a grand staircase leading from the center of the room up to the second floor.

“It’s not just him,” she reminded you, leading you further inside.  “His friends Steve and Bucky live with him, too.”

“Yeah, the…  the Fitness Bros, right?”  To be completely honest, you hadn’t ever seen any of the groups’ videos.  It wasn’t exactly your thing, though you had seen Sam’s vlogs when Natasha was in them.

She bit her lip as she went quiet, clearly listening for where the residents of the house were.  After a long moment, a grin spread over her lips.  “Technically, they’re ShieldFitness, but they have that rivalry going on with the Science Bros, so yeah.  The Fitness Bros.  Steve and Bucky are chill.  You’d like them.”  She waved you along, leading you downstairs.  As the door opened, you could hear music blasting and the sound of weights being lifted and dropped and lifted again.  “Boys! I’m here!”

When you got to the bottom of the stairs, you froze.

The entire basement had been converted into a state-of-the-art gym.

“Holy shit,” you said, taking it all in.  You hadn’t been to a gym in years, not since…  Well.

“Hey, baby!”

You looked up just in time to see an extremely sweaty Sam Wilson bound over to Natasha and pull her into a passionate kiss.  “Hey, Sam.  Nice to see you, too.”

The man in question smirked as he pulled away from the kiss.  “Hey, Bambi.”  His face fell as he saw the state you were in.  “How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine,” you said with a shrug, pulling out your phone.  You could at least pretend to be okay if you kept your nose on your screen.

Natasha shook her head at Sam, mouthing, “She’s not.”

The two other men in the gym hadn’t yet noticed that they had visitors. That, or they were just deciding to ignore the two of you.  You were okay with either option, if you were being honest.  You hated meeting new people when you didn’t have makeup on, as horrible and insecure as it sounded.  It was just… makeup was your thing.  You didn’t leave the house without it ninety percent of the time.

You felt your heart sink as you saw the texts your manager had sent you.

Maria Hill: You need to find a video to replace the Boyfriend Does My Makeup one ASAP.

Maria Hill: People are extremely upset about you and Odinson breaking up.

Maria Hill: And I know that you’re upset, and this is going to sound like it’s in poor taste, but your breakup won’t keep people entertained for long.  #thambibreakup already stopped trending a few days ago.

“Bambi?  You good?”

Rubbing your eyes, you passed the phone to Natasha without another word. Your head was pounding from the effort it took not to cry.

She hummed as she stared down at the phone, though she looked up in surprise as she heard more weights crashing to the ground.

Across the gym, a blond that you vaguely remembered from some of Sam’s vlogs—Steve?—was doing deadlifts.  He wiped his brow as he finished his last rep, smiling bashfully down at the ground as the brunet—Bucky, if your memory was right—rushed over.

“You’re steadily dead lifting three hundred pounds, man,” he said, fist bumping the other.

And it was like a light bulb went off in Natasha’s head.  “Steve!  Get over here!”

Sam eyed his girlfriend suspiciously.  “What are you up to?”

“I’m fixing Bambi’s problem, and getting Steve out of the house and the gym,” she said under her breath, before turning to where the man was jogging towards the three of you, the brunet following close behind.

“Hey, Nat, what’s up?” He asked, grabbing his water bottle and chugging down half of it.

You tucked your phone into your hoodie pocket, figuring it’d be rude to be on it when you were getting introduced to new people.

“Steve, this is my best friend, Bambi,” she said, pushing you towards him. “Bambi, this is Steve.”

“Hi.  Nice to meet you,” you said, smiling sheepishly as you held your hand out for him to shake. Despite the way you presented on your YouTube channel, you were actually rather shy.  Meeting new people was nerve wracking and exhausting, to say the least.

“The pleasure’s all mine,” he said, shaking your hand firmly.  It surprised you a little when he clasped his free hand over it, squeezing softly as his startling blue eyes met yours.

Your cheeks went red as he realized he’d been shaking your hand for a few moments longer than what was probably considered normal, and he dropped it quickly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“And I’m Bucky,” the brunet said, inserting himself into the conversation. He was grinning, knowing that he had interrupted what one might consider a moment.

“Hi, Bucky, I’m Bambi,” you said with a giggle, your cheeks going red as he shot you a playful wink.

Natasha rolled her eyes at his antics before turning back to the blond. “So, Steve, how would you feel about doing Bambi’s makeup?”

“What?!”  You whirled on Natasha, eyes widening.

His brows furrowed as his eyes darted back and forth between the two of you. “I mean…  I’m not opposed.  What for?”

“Bambi was going to film a Boyfriend Does My Makeup video with Thor Odinson before they broke up last week, and she’s worried about disappointing her viewers while her manager is on her ass about putting out more content.”

“Look, it’s ridiculous,” you said, shaking your head rapidly.  “You don’t have—”

“I’d love to.”

“—to do it just because—”  You broke off, blinking at him slowly.  “Wait… What?”

Steve shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips.  “I’d love to be in your video.  I don’t know anything about makeup, but I’ll do my best.”

You couldn’t help but grin.  “It kind of makes it better if you don’t know anything.”  For just a second, you forgot about all the shit surrounding your breakup as you stared into his eyes.

“Name a time and a place, sugar.”

The next morning, you rushed around your house, desperately trying to make sure there was no sign of your post-breakup-sadness left.  You’d spent the night before cleaning your room and scrubbing down the kitchen.  There’d been dishes piled up from the past week, covered in whatever you’d managed to make in your stupor after getting through the first few days with zero appetite.

You had just finished setting up your filming room when you heard the knock on your front door.  “Coming!” You shouted, bounding down the stairs.  Your socked feet slid against the hardwood floor, and you took a deep breath before throwing open the door, revealing Steve.  “Hey!”

“Hey, yourself,” he said, before holding up a takeout bag.  “I got us lunch.  Natasha mentioned that you were dying to try that new sushi place on forty-second, so I figured…”

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said, shock written all over your face. He was already filming a video for your channel as a favor.  Not to mention, on such short notice.  Hell, you’d never done a collaboration without more than three days’ notice, let alone less than twenty-four hours.

He stepped inside as you led him through, up to the makeup room.

“We can eat while we do the video,” you said, flicking on the light for your filming room.  It was a little dimmer than most normal ceiling lights, but you kept it that way since you just used a ring light for your videos anyway.  “This is where the magic happens.”

“This is… amazing,” he said with a bit of a laugh as he took in your whole set up.  “This is way nicer than the stuff we use on our channels.”

You shrugged, your cheeks going a little red as you sat down on the bench in front of your vanity.  “Yeah, but I’m sure your equipment can handle a lot more roughhousing, since it’s used in a gym and everything.”

Steve hummed in response, the trance not breaking for another few seconds.

When he finally took his seat next to you, you let out a long huff of air.  “Do we just want to wing it?” You asked, biting your lip.

“Whatever you want, sugar,” he said, his warm smile reassuring you.

After a final nod for confirmation, you grabbed the little remote for your camera and hit the record button.  After a second, the little red light appeared and you grinned, immediately jumping into your YouTuber personality.  “Hello, gorgeous, and welcome to my channel!”  You knew that your subscribers would be able to tell that you were a little bit off, but then again, practically the entire YouTube community knew about the breakup by now.  “So, as you can probably tell by the title of this video, we’re going to be doing the Boyfriend Does My Makeup Challenge.  But…” You trailed off, motioning to Steve. “This isn’t the usual tall, blond, hunk of a man you’re used to seeing.  This is Steve Rogers, A.K.A. one-third of the channel ShieldFitness.”

“Hello!” He said, his blue eyes twinkling.  He was kind of mesmerized by just how many products were in front of him, and he could see several makeup towers against the wall, out of view, that definitely held much, much more.

“Steve has so graciously agreed to do this video after Natasha guilt tripped him, because I got dumped,” you said, grinning as Steve barked out a laugh. He clearly hadn’t been expecting how blunt you were going to be with the situation.  Your gaze softened a little as you took in the sight of him laughing, his hand clapping over his chest as his nose scrunched up.

He was… quite beautiful.

“So, what do you say we jump right in?”

Steve nodded, letting out one last, breathless chuckle as he tried to regain his composure.  “Alright, uh… I have no idea what I’m doing, so we’ll see how this goes.”  He stared at the products on your desk for what felt like forever.

“I haven’t put on any products at all.  This is my face fresh from the shower.”  You suddenly remembered that he had picked you up lunch, and you grabbed the bag.  “While you do that, I’m going to unpack some of this food.”  While he tried to decide where to start, you continued to talk to the camera, setting take out containers no the vanity, “Can we just talk about how amazing this man is?  He almost gets blackmailed into doing this video, and he still brings me food without me asking.”

“Uh…  We start with this stuff, right?” He asked, holding up a bottle of lotion.  “Natasha puts… something like this on her face before makeup, I think.”

Lotion.

You shrugged, trying not to make a face.  “This is all on you, buddy.”

God, you hoped he didn’t put actual lotion on your face.

Helplessly, you watched as he squirted a little bit out onto his fingers, before turning to you.  “May I?” He asked, waiting until you nodded to start gently rubbing it into your skin.

The fact that he’d put lotion on your face instead of moisturizer meant that you were going to have to wash your face immediately after, no matter how the makeup turned out.  If you left it on for too long, there was no way your face wasn’t going to break out.

“You’re grimacing,” he said with a groan, pursing his lower lip as he finished rubbing the lotion into your face.  “I already messed it up, didn’t I?”

“No, no,” you giggled, shaking your head.  “Keep going.”

After a moment’s hesitation, he turned back to the neatly organized products.  “Uh… Well, this says primer, so that means it has to go first, right?”  He frowned, realizing he wasn’t going to get an answer from you and he wasn’t allowed to use his phone.

It was kind of killing you that he was using his fingers for everything so far.

“Can you at least tell me the order you do things in?” He asked, looking a little overwhelmed.  “Because my ex did her makeup face, eyebrows, eyes, lips.  But Natasha does it eyebrows, eyes, face, lips when she does it at our house.”

“I do it how Natasha does it.”  You took the momentary break to snatch a takeout container marked ‘spider roll’ and a pair of chopsticks.

He nodded, scanning the vanity until he found what he must’ve been looking for.  “Okay, eyebrows.”  He held up a little Anastasia Dipbrow, and you could’ve wept with happiness at his choice.

There was hope for him, yet.

Steve took a moment to dig through your brushes, before picking out a Morphe M124 brush—a firm shadow brush definitely not meant for eyebrows. “So, how’d you get the name ‘Bambi?’” He asked as he leaned in close, carefully bringing the brush to your brows. His breath smelled of mint gum, and his hand was a pleasant warmth against your face.

“Because Nat says I’m the clumsiest person she’s ever met,” you said with a short laugh, trying your best not to mess him up.  “She said that I remaindered her of a newborn fawn.  We actually became friends because I tripped and spilled queso all over her when we were in college, and then sat with her in the laundry room for two hours.

You had no idea what happened with eyeshadow, since he made you close your eyes during the entirety of it.  And you were surprised with how well he managed to put on mascara.

“I use this thing, right?  And… what’s it called?...  I bounce it or something,” he said, brows furrowing as he stared at one of your many Beauty Blenders.  He picked out a foundation from the eighteen you had sitting on the vanity, and he carefully began to drag it across your skin.

Dry.  He was dragging your dry Beauty Blender across your face.

“I don’t like that you’re biting your lip,” he muttered, though there was an embarrassed smile on his lips.

“Why not?” You laughed.

“It makes me nervous because I know I’m doing something wrong,” he said, his blue eyes flickering up to meet yours for just a second before he quickly looked away again, his cheeks tinging pink.

“You’re doing… fantastic,” you reassured him, though the both of you knew it was only half-true at best.

He shot you a look, and your heart fluttered a little in your chest.

Steve went quiet for a few moments, before asking, “So what happened between you and Thor?”  After a second, he quickly added, “You don’t have to tell me.  And I don’t know if you like doing jump cuts in your editing or if you even want people to know what happened and—”

“Steve, it’s fine,” you said, effectively cutting him off.  You took in a deep breath.  “Uh…  Well… We just kind of grew apart, I guess. We both want different things from life and, hell, his move out to L.A. just kind of showed us how much it wasn’t working anymore.  We’ll always be friends, and I’ll always love him, but…  I don’t know.  It’s more of a family kind of love now, if that makes sense?”

“It makes total sense.”

“And it was no one’s fault.  Truly.” You closed your eyes as you spotted him grab your translucent powder.  Usually you used it to bake your face, but he just did an all over dusting.  “What we had was really, really good, and I’ve never had anything bad to say about him.”  You paused. “Except that sometimes he forgot to put the seat down and I’d fall into the toilet at three in the morning.”

He barked out a laugh, shaking his head in amusement.  You could feel him putting on what you hoped was blush and contour, but you had no way to tell without opening your eyes, and you were just enjoying having someone do your makeup for once and not the other way around.

“Okay,” he said after smearing what you prayed was lipstick.  “I think I’m done.”

“Alright, let’s see what you’ve done,” you said, pulling out a hand mirror. You’d put the mirror you usually kept in the center of the ring light beneath the vanity, in order to keep yourself from peeking.  Your eyes widened as you took in your face, your hand slapping over your mouth.

Your foundation was a little bit thin, with how he’d dragged it across your skin and foregone concealer.  Your eyebrows were a good shape, though they were extremely blocked out. Your eyes were alright.  He’d gone simple, only using a shimmery pink eye shadow on the lid.  But, once again, he hadn’t used concealer to set a base.  It didn’t look bad, just not as good as it could’ve gone.  There was even a little bit of gold in the corner of your eyes.  Your mascara was only covering about half of your lashes, and he hadn’t done your bottom ones, but that was probably out of fear, and you wouldn’t fault him that. Your contour was a little heavy, and your blush almost nonexistent.  Your lipstick was… acceptable.

“Ta da,” he said, trailing off as he waited for your reaction.

A laugh bubbled from your lips as you touched your face.  “This isn’t the best I’ve seen, but it definitely isn’t the worst,” you said.

“You know what,” he mused, a triumphant grin on his face.  “I’ll take it.”

Later that night, after you spent three hours editing everything and posted the video, your phone dinged.

Maria Hill: The Boyfriend Does My Makeup Challenge video was brilliant.  No one can shut up about how cute it is.

You hesitated for a moment before muttering, “Fuck it,” and shooting a text off to Steve.

Bambi: Everyone loves the video :)

It took less than two minutes to receive a response.

Steve Rogers: That’s great! Let me know if you ever want to do another video!  Goodnight, sugar :)

Bambi: Goodnight, Steve :)

[sctisfctions]

( emeraude toubia, 28, cis female, she/her ) Have you seen CARINA TORRERO around ? I hear they’re an ESCORT who can sometimes be GREEDY & IMPULSIVE. But I also heard they can be DETERMINED & ADAPTIVE if you catch them on a good day. They’re usually hanging around LA CASA DI MATEO in their spare time. I sure hope they’re alright ! ( mandy )

Hello all! I’m Mandy and this is my child, Carina Torrero She’s… a lot, so bless your soul for finding your way to this intro.

Full name: Carina Cecilia Torrero Nickname: Care, Cari, C.C. Age: 28 Nationality: Mexican and Lebanese  Religion: N/A City of birth: Laredo, Texas The current place for living: Chicago, IL Job title: Eden Escort Married? No Spoken Languages: Spanish, English Birthday: October 30th Does she own a home? Yes

B A C K G R O U N D : ( updated Feb. 25th, 2021 )

Carina is the baby of her family and has always was spoiled as such; showered in gifts. In the small town of Laredo, Texas, the Torrero family was known as the richest family in town. While it was rumored that there were some underground dealings going on in the family business, none of those were true. In fact, The Torreros prided themselves on being the purest and most righteous family in the region. Rev. Torrero owned and pastored a Mega Church that made millions of dollars every week, on top of people throwing money at her parents for their “good work”. But it meant nothing to Carina because she always felt like the church always came before her. Every time they were absent from her biggest life events, a gift was sent to make up for it. 

When Carina went to Drexel University to get her degree in fashion design and marketing, she planned on spending the first year goofing off and exploring what the world has to offer her. In a city like Philadelphia, it was easy to get lost in the hype of pre-game drinking sessions and post-game parties, getting sucked into hook-up culture and living as thought she’d never have a chance to touch this many people all at once. 

Getting out of college and moving back in with her family in Laredo was odd, at first, leaving the sweet life of sin behind and pretending to be the angel the town was so used to. Kidding, of course, she couldn’t leave it behind. She started doing modeling on the side and ended up getting commissioned for a huge gig with a very risqué magazine. Before the photoshoot even happened, word reached her parents church and the rumors spread like wildfire across the town. Her parents looked down on her with shame and disgrace. 

It felt all so overwhelming until she realized it’s all just Texas life. Outside of their region, no one even knows who her family is. She knew the only thing to do was to pack up her things, steal a couple million dollars from her parents ( which was barely a dent for them ), and move to Chicago where she could carry on a life of her own. Within a month of moving, she made friends with some people who worked at a club called Eden. They got her a job as an escort and, to this day, she’s been operating as a freelance designer by day and an escort by night. 

Family:

Sisters or brothers: One older brother and sister Wife or husband: N/A. Children: None. Other important persons: Roommate(s)

Physical Characteristics:

Addictions: control, power Bad Habits: acting only for the good of herself Color of Eyes: brown The color of Hair: black The color of Skin: tan Dialect: american accent Does the character drink regularly? always Does the character have any disabilities? no Does the character prefer any proverbs? “the most important thing is to enjoy your life and be happy” - audrey hepburn Does the character smoke? sometimes Good Habits: open-minded, forward thinking, tidy. Height: 5′3″ Hobbies: reading, working out, instagram, binge watching, skin care routines, healthy eating Is she wearing Glasses? no Is the character healthy or does he have any diseases? she’s healthy What’s the style of the character? (modern, outmoded): sporty and sexy. is almost always wearing a sports bra, leggings, and sneakers.

Mental Characteristics

Education: Bachelor’s Degree in Fashion Design and Marketing Intelligent or not? smart enough. she picks things up quickly. Fears: being misunderstood, spiders Life Goals (next 5 years): get a mansion Life Goals (next 25 years): own a fashion empire Self-perception: idk she’s just trying to keep it all together Assumed external perception: she thinks people think she’s either great or a bitch, there is no in between. Self-Confidence: extremely confident Rational Or Emotional: rational How could you upset this character? compare her to her family

Wanted Connections ( all based on crazy ex-girlfriend/galavant songs )

any of these could be filled with gang affiliates of any kind !! It’d be fun to see how a gang affiliate would spice up these connections !! 

PLATONIC

FRIENDTOPIA: Carina loves very few people on Earth. They’re the Joey/Chandler/Monica/Phoebe to her Rachel. They do practically everything together, as they spend pretty much every waking second together. They’re her roommates (they can work at Eden with her, but it’s not required). 

LET’S GENERALIZE ABOUT MEN: a bitch-type group of friends that get together, sometimes drink, sometimes shop, or sometimes just share gossip and personal thoughts about what the hell is going on around them.

SECRET MISSION: They say the enemy of my enemy is my friend. These people mutually hate someone and often come up with different ways in which they can make this person suffer. But it’s all just in good fun…… or is it?

OFF WITH HIS SHIRT: Any of the men she’s been with exclusively through Eden. Her “regulars” or “visitors”, if you will. She gets paid quite heavily whether she offers sex or just her general company.

MAYBE YOU WON’T DIE ALONE: Carina is the self-proclaimed Hook Up Guru of Chicago, so she’ll definitely attempt to hook you up with that person you’ve had your eye on and it sometimes isn’t subtle. But sex makes her happy, so helping her friends get laid makes her happy too. 

AFTER EVERYTHING I’VE DONE FOR YOU: This person has gone to hell and back for Carina, yet she shows little to no gratitude towards them. It’s only a matter of time before their lid pops right off. 

FACE YOUR FEARS: These are her older friends who help her figure out her shit and she ACTUALLY listens to them because she just trusts them more than anyone else. 

GREG’S DRINKING SONG: Drinking buddies!! A lot of the instances Greg mentions in the song can basically just be different scenarios they’ve gotten themselves in.

ROMANTIC/SEXUAL:

IT WAS A SHIT SHOW: A bittersweet ex-boyfriend. They really didn’t have any choice but to end things. He has some things going on in his life, Carina wasn’t anywhere near ready for a monogamous relationship. They both agree… it was a DISASTER.

SETTLE FOR ME: Someone who, stupidly, has a crush on Carina and he literally doesn’t have a single chance in hell. I just think this kind of energy would be hella hilarious.

STRIP AWAY MY CONSCIENCE: One of the guys that she regularly hooks up/hooked up with. Maybe even dated, but it wasn’t anything more than sex, really. They’re still friends to this day. 

SEX WITH A STRANGER: This is pretty straight forward. All of her hookups. I’m just gonna list them here for data purposes. They coulda been friends before or barely know each other. Honestly, if she avoided everyone she’s ever had sex with, she’d never leave her house. 

ENEMIES:

MAYBE YOU’RE NOT THE WORST THING EVER: Bitter, toxic exes. This was one of her first real and intense relationships that happened in a time when she was the most vulnerable and unprepared. It ended HORRIBLY when they lashed out at each other and it’s hard to let those feelings go. If they can get over their own pettiness, they can at least hope to be frenemies.

JACKASS IN A CAN: People who really just DON’T think she’s all that. They thinks he’s very stuck up and don’t fall for her charming, blunt persona in the slightest. I’d just love someone to call her out on her bullshit.

I DON’T LIKE YOU: General dislike and sworn mortal enemies kind of situation. We can talk over what happened between them, but honestly, it wouldn’t be that hard to find something that she did… or someone. 

WHEW this was long, but go ahead and press some buttons if you like and wanna plot with her!!