#look i have seen plenty of bad takes on instagram

[halfdeadwallfly]

according to every other post i see on instagram im apparently a toxic person who doesn't have friends because i am the problem in my relationships and am just not aware of it. can someone confirm.

[mypoisonedvine]

𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐂𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 | dad's best friend!cillian murphy x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | based on the following request: what would dilf/dad's best friend cillian do if he found your dildo?

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 5k (this was literally supposed to be a drabble...)

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | smut (18+ only), significant age gap (reader is college-aged, cillian is in his late forties), voyeurism/exhibitionism, semi-public sex, use of toys, praise kink, unprotected sex, very brief/semi sarcastic 'sir' kink, shockingly fluffy??

Not that your parents' anniversary cocktail party wasn't horribly riveting (cue dramatic eyeroll) but you were upstairs, on your bed, on your phone; you'd had enough of 'so how's college going?' and 'what's your major again?' and 'got any boyfriends yet? you must be a heartbreaker' for one evening— or a lifetime, preferably.

It wasn’t even that comfortable to be on the bed in your party dress—a cute, short sparkly one that you’d picked out for tonight—but it was better than standing around and trying to balance in those sky-high heels; those you had kicked off into the corner of the room the second you were alone.

When you heard a small rap on the door, you hummed a quick "Come in!" and didn't even look up from your phone, figuring it was your mom or dad come to find you after you disappeared.

Instead, you heard Mr. Murphy's voice as he leaned in the doorframe; "Sorry to bug you," he said, startling you slightly as you closed Instagram and set your phone down. "Just needed a Tide pen— your mom said you might have one in here?"

"O-oh, yeah," you said, sitting up, "sure— what happened?"

"Salsa fiasco," he joked softly as he shut the door behind him, showing you the dark red stain on his shirt— though the shirt itself was red, so it wasn't too egregious, but still noticeable.

"That's too bad," you chuckled, "I warned them about that salsa— if you serve salsa, there's gonna be a fiasco, that's what I said."

He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "They should listen to you more," he agreed.

"I've got a couple stain remover pens in that top drawer," you suggested as you pointed to your dresser.

"Great," he smiled, starting to unbutton the shirt; you got nervous for a second until you realized he had on a black undershirt beneath. It's hard to say why you were nervous about that, since you'd seen him shirtless plenty of times in the years you'd known him...

"Nobody's worried about me going missing, right?" you wondered as he continued working on the buttons, and he shook his head while shrugging slightly.

"Not yet," he replied, "but they're going to want to find you soon, you're sort of the star of the night."

You rolled your eyes, frowning. "It's my parents' anniversary party, I think they should be the focus."

"Maybe they should, but you're the much more interesting one," he informed you.

You pulled your legs up a bit, leaning to the side as you sat on your bed; as much as all this attention from your parents' friends was usually annoying to you, something about being interesting to Mr. Murphy didn't bother you so much. "Is it weird for you?" you asked, lowering your voice a bit; he tilted his head quickly as if to ask what you meant. "Going to an anniversary party after, you know—"

The words hung in the air, seeming to gather around his conspicuously naked ring finger: after the divorce. "Oh, no," he scoffed, taking off his cufflinks. "It's fine; but I'm sick of the questions about it."

You winced. "Sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Don't worry," he laughed finally shirking off the shirt; he looked a little too good in just the short-sleeved undershirt. "You can make it even by letting me ask you how college is going."

"Oh god," you groaned, rolling your eyes, and he laughed.

"If I didn't know from your parents that you were acing it, I'd worry that your aversion to talking about it meant you were struggling somehow."

"It's not that," you assured, "it's the people."

"The people?" he pressed. "Or the guys?"

You laughed nervously, looking down at your lap. "Geez, you learn to mindread while I was gone or something?"

He stepped around your bed to get to the dresser, laying his shirt down over it. "No, I just remember that time— somehow. And I remember how much of a headache I and every other young guy was."

"I guess not much has changed then," you smiled.

"What, I'm still a headache?" he grinned as he looked over his shoulder at you.

"No, I meant—"

"I know what you meant, I'm just teasing," he chuckled. "Top drawer you said?"

"Yeah," you nodded, and he opened the top drawer of the dresser; of course, only right then did you remember that you should have specifically said top left. Because the top right was—

Oh shit.

You swallowed thickly as Cillian stared down into the open drawer, and your heart pounded as you somehow hoped and prayed that what was in there had turned invisible or something; but if the look on his face was anything to go by, it was just as visible as ever.

“I—fuck, sorry, I forgot that’s—” you choked out, face burning impossibly hot.  “I never meant for you to see—I’m—could you shut the fucking drawer, please, you pervert?!”

“I’m the pervert?” he laughed thinly, looking at you again finally.  “You’re the one with a massive fucking dildo in here.”

“Well—you weren’t supposed to see that—”

“Yeah, but—fuck,” he choked, “I was just looking for your stain remover and I see your— you have a— are you sure that isn’t technically considered a weapon or something?  How’s a guy supposed to compete with that?”

“That’s the great thing about it: he doesn’t have to compete,” you explained, “that’s sort of the whole idea.”

He looked back at it for a second and you yelped, reaching your leg off the bed to kick him in the hip.  “Would you please shut the drawer?!”

“Sorry, sorry,” he laughed a bit, “but I mean, how am I supposed to react to that?

“Well, you’re not supposed to just stare at it!” you insisted.

He shut the drawer, giving you a look you couldn’t possibly decipher.

“What were you thinking?!” you said, somewhat rhetorically.

“I—well,” he hummed, looking away from you for a second, “I was thinking that I can’t imagine how you can possibly fit something like that.”

You blinked quickly, not sure what to say in response to that.  “Well—I mean, it’s a little big, but… it gets the job done.  Keeps me from calling the guys I shouldn’t be calling.”

He nodded.  “Well, that’s good… none of those college boys could possibly deserve you…”

His eyes were running all over you, and even though you’d picked out this dress just for this party because you loved how you looked in it, you felt a little exposed by his stare.

“I just can’t believe a girl like you—”

“Come on, I’ve never been a saint,” you scoffed, glancing away.

“No, I just mean… the size of that thing…” he trailed off.

“You really can’t get over that part,” you noticed, “is this some kind of… intimidation, Freudian situation?”

You glanced quickly at his pants, and he started to deny it instantly.  “No—come on, it’s not—I just can’t believe you take all that.  For fun.  It looks like it would break you.”

You hadn’t even had any drinks at this anniversary party, and yet you found yourself with this foggy head like you were tipsy; you blurted something out as if you were tipsy.  “What, you want me to prove it?”

His chest sunk a bit, and you were about to take it back when he spoke before you.  “I’d like to see you try.”

Biting your lip, you sat up on the bed, reaching around him and into the drawer.  He didn’t step back or out of the way, just let you grab the toy and lean back on the bed in front of him.

You reached up under your dress, sliding your panties out of the way, finding yourself suddenly plenty wet to fit this toy.

His eyes never left you, though they certainly travelled all over your body as you pressed the toy up to your entrance; it was thick, he wasn’t wrong, and you had to slowly warm yourself up to it whenever you used it on yourself. 

After pushing with enough pressure, the tip finally slipped inside and you let out a small sigh.  He watched carefully, and your lips fell open into a moan as you pushed the toy deeper into yourself.  When the stretch became a bit too sharp, you winced and slowed down, trying to take your time even with your heart racing and hands shaking.

You heard his own breathing picking up, watching you take the toy deeper; you found your gaze wandering over him, even lingering on his groin to see if you could catch a bulge growing there, but nothing was obvious yet.  You stared for a moment at his hands, too, suddenly wishing to have them all over you—well, maybe not that suddenly, you’d sort of thought about this before.  It wasn’t until somewhat recently that you noticed how sexy he was.  Maybe when you were younger, you understood that he was better looking than all the other adults you knew, but only once you left for college did you start thinking about him out of nowhere, imagining what he was really like when he wasn’t just being friendly with you—you even asked your mom once on a phone call if he was dating anyone.  Thankfully, she didn’t seem to get suspicious when you asked that; but she’d be more than fucking suspicious if she walked in now, saw you doing this to yourself under his watchful eye.

Oddly enough, the knowledge that someone could walk in and see this just made you even more desperate, and you gasped as you pushed the toy in deeper.

It still wasn’t all the way in, and you already felt so full… truth be told, he had a point about it maybe being too big for you—when you usually used it on yourself, you only put it in a little over halfway, since that was all you really needed.  You hadn’t put the whole thing inside since you first got it—and yes, you’d ordered it online, because if you’d seen it in person you probably would’ve been as intimidated by its girth as he was.

Your decision not to wear a bra with this dress became very apparent when his gaze settled on your chest; your nipples were hard, and clearly visible under the fabric now.  It was just because it was strapless that you went without, but you were thankful for it when you saw him quickly lick his lips at the sight.  You dared to moan just a little louder as you pulled the toy in and out, picking up your pace carefully.

“How’s it feel?” he asked lowly, his eyes drifting back to where the toy slid into you. 

“Good,” you mumbled, “really fucking good.”

“Can you really take it all?” he pressed, making your walls clench on the silicone.

Instead of answering aloud, you simply pushed it all the way in until your eyes rolled back—it was so deep, pressing heavy and fat against your deepest points until it felt like you might burst.

“Fuck,” he praised—it was just a swear, but the way he whispered it made it sound like a praise.

You sped up slightly, trying to do this the way you normally would without someone staring at you.  But you were even more sensitive with him watching, your walls clenching more and more around the toy until it was almost hard to keep thrusting it in and out.  Sighing, you shut your eyes and laid back on the bed to try to help yourself relax.  The change in angle just seemed to make the toy go deeper, rubbing harder against the spot inside you that made your back arch.

“You’re so wet,” he breathed; you whimpered, nodding in agreement, and kept moving the dildo as deep as you could get it with every thrust. 

Your free arm went back over your head to hold onto the comforter under you, your hand gripping tight for some relief for the pressure inside you.  “Fuck yes,” you whispered, knitting your brows together and fucking yourself faster.  “Feels so fucking good…”

He hummed a little, but you kept your eyes shut, afraid you’d lose your nerve if you looked at him again.  It had been months since you used anything but this, and you had no regrets—the toy performed way better than any of the guys you’d met at college.  But, truthfully, you didn’t like having to do this to yourself.  It felt like you could never move it fast or hard enough, and you needed to constantly have perfect control over the toy to get yourself to come—and when you come, the last thing you want is to take control, you want to lay back and lose control.  Still, it was better than the college fuckboys who smelled like beer and didn’t last more than two minutes.

Thinking about them wasn’t going to help you now, though; it was much better to think about Cillian, about those icy blue eyes running all over your body, about how his hands would hold you down while he claimed you, about how his lips would feel on your neck before he whispered in your ear that you were his…

You let out a sharp and sudden moan as the toy hit harder on that spot; your legs started to shake.  “Good girl,” he mumbled, making you moan even louder because god, those words just sounded right in his accent, with that rough voice—and they sounded right being said to you.

“Fuck,” you choked, “Mr. Murphy, I—”

He laughed a little.  “So polite,” he cooed.  “Open your eyes and look at me.”

Though it made your heart beat even faster, you did as you were told.  His stare was all-encompassing, making you feel completely trapped in a way you enjoyed more than you could’ve imagined. 

“Call me Cillian,” he insisted.

You weren’t sure if he meant to literally call him that right in that moment, but it sort of came out anyway: “Cillian,” you moaned, and the grip he’d taken on the dresser behind him tightened.

“Can you come for me?” he asked lowly.  “Right now?  Can you come on that fake cock?”

You bit your lip and nodded, moving the toy faster and faster— more desperate to come than ever.  “I—fuck, yeah, I’m close…”

“Good,” he praised again.  “Let me see you come, honey.”

Your back arched harder, deeper—your hands were shaking but you kept going, holding on tight to the dildo and forcing it back and forth as your legs began to quiver.

Moans poured from your mouth faster than you could try to quiet them—everyone was downstairs, you just had to hope the music and conversation was enough to drown out your desperate, pleading noises.  “Fuckin’ beautiful,” he mumbled, right as you hit the peak and melted into the mattress, a wave of ecstasy pouring over you.

You felt hot everywhere, but especially between your legs—you could swear you felt yourself leaking out around the toy, soaking it, giving away how needy you’d become and not even having the mental energy to feel any shame for it.

Cillian certainly didn’t look like he was trying to shame you for it; when you opened your eyes again, he had a stunned expression—in the best way.  “You normally come that fast for a toy?”

You laughed a little, but you still couldn’t quite catch your breath.  “No,” you admitted, “it normally takes… a bit longer than that…”

“What was different about tonight?” he mused, and you scoffed and rolled your eyes again.

“Shut up,” you sighed.  “Now I have to figure out how to take this thing out—I’m always sore after…”

“If you can handle putting it in, taking it out shouldn’t be much trouble,” he noticed.

Which, yes, that would make sense, but after coming you always got all tight and sensitive and it could be a little intense.

“How about I help you?” he offered, and your chest tightened.  He waited for you to nod before carefully wrapping his hand around your own, watching your face as he gently guided you to pull the toy out.

Your lips were slack and your eyes were probably glassy and dazed as he looked at you like that, completely enveloping you in his stare as he studied every detail of your expression.  Aside from some heavy breathing you didn’t react much to him sliding the toy out of you, until the ridge of the head reached your entrance and you winced.

“Shh,” he soothed gently, “it’s okay…”

A long sigh of relief emptied your chest when the toy tapered off and you felt the last of it slip out of you; you really noticed then how soaked you were, as a draft in the room seemed to cling to the patch of wetness that had coated all between your legs somehow.

“Lemme see, baby,” he cooed under his breath as he set the toy aside, kneeling down and resting a hand on the inside of your thigh to keep your legs open.

You could barely catch your breath with him doing that; you’d never had someone… look at it like that.  You felt incredibly vulnerable but impossibly sexy as you heard him sigh at the sight.  “Is it all stretched out now?” you wondered.

“No,” he said, “you look… just as tight as before.  Fuck.  That’s incredible.”

You bit your lip, sitting up enough to try to get a look at his face past the puffiness of your dress’ skirt, and he smirked up at you with the loveliest sparkle in his eye.  “Really?” you breathed, and he nodded.

Even though your hands were still shaking you suddenly felt brave; maybe it was just the afterglow, but you grabbed him by the shirt and sat up to kiss him, colliding your lips with his.  He reciprocated instantly, putting his hands on your upper back that the strapless dress left bare.

The kiss was perfect—needy but not too fast, sweet but not too chaste, teasing but not too slow.  The guys in college couldn’t even kiss like this… you were wondering why you ever even tried with them—or, you would’ve been if that kiss left you capable of thinking about anything but him.  “Need you,” you whispered as you pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around his strong shoulders.

“Fuck,” he mumbled against your lips, a hand holding your waist while he started to kiss your neck and jaw.  “Not here—your parents—”

“Don’t care,” you whimpered, “I’m so—fuck, Cillian, please—”

“You already came,” he noticed with a small laugh, “didn’t that take the edge off?”

“Not enough,” you whined, getting impatient and running a hand down over his shirt and down to his pants—and you smiled proudly as you felt the hardening bulge beneath.  He choked a little when you touched him there, holding you tighter.  “You want me too,” you noticed.

“Of course I do, but—” he breathed, then stopped himself as he tossed you back on the bed; you giggled as he crawled up over you, pinning you down.  “But we can’t… your parents would have my head on a platter—once they’re done serving crawfish etouffee off of it downstairs.”

“Well, I wasn’t planning on telling my parents,” you smirked.  “Were you?”

“No,” he agreed, kissing your neck again as you hummed happily.  “But if they found out—”

“So?  They wouldn’t like if they found out about what just happened, either—and they won’t.”

“But this is different,” he insisted.

“How?”

“Because this…”

He trailed off, kissing down your neck and over your shoulder, until a hand reached up to pull your dress down and expose your chest.

“Shit,” he sighed at the sight of it, and you smiled up at him.

“You were saying?” you teased.

“Right, erm,” he swallowed, “this is different because—because if we do this, you’re gonna be my girl.  Not just a misguided one-time fuck because you were turned on after screwing yourself with your dildo while I watched.”

You felt a little out of breath but nodded up at him.  “Okay,” you agreed.

“Okay?” he repeated, looking a little shocked.  “I tell you that you have to be mine and you just say okay?”

“What was I supposed to say, yes sir?” you joked.

“I just mean—shit, if I knew it would be this easy, I would’ve said something sooner,” he chuckled.  “But I’m, er, not complaining about the yes sir thing either…”

He sat up and started to unbutton his pants, making you wiggle a bit on the bed impatiently.  Even though you’d just gotten filled by your big toy, you felt needier than ever for something inside you—something real. 

Your throat caught when he took it out— it was pale and veiny just like the rest of him; long, uncut, a bead of precum starting to leak from the slit… it was beautiful, honestly.  The artificial fleshy hue of the silicone could never compete.

“Big enough for you?” he asked with a smirk, but you had to swallow before you answered because your mouth was watering.

“Yeah,” you panted, “plenty.”

He kissed you again, laying more of his weight on top of you; your legs wrapped around his hips, keeping him close as he pressed you down into your bed.

One hand found your wrist and held it back above your head, while the other kept a tight wrap around his cock so he could guide it to your waiting entrance.  When he pushed inside, you both sighed with relief like you’d been longing for this for ages—perhaps because both of you had, in your own ways.  “Fuck,” you breathed, “Cillian…”

He whispered your name back to you, heavy and desperate and right by your ear, and you absolutely knew you were his, just like he said.  He only stilled for a moment when he was all the way inside, already starting to rock back and forth—but he was sort of tender about it, watching you move under him as he fucked you.  “So pretty,” he praised quietly, kissing you again, even harder than before.  You both moaned into the kiss, and a warm, rough hand settled on your thigh under your dress.

Soon, the pleasure was too much to even focus on kissing, and your mouth just fell wide open in front of his as needy moans passed through it.  He stayed close, though, watching your face go slack with ecstasy.  The previous orgasm had left you sticky and sensitive inside, still totally dripping for him, everything in you begging for more.  “Oh my god,” you sighed, eyes rolling back, your composure completely slipping already.  He made you feel so good so easily—and fuck, the way he was looking at you, it was just too much to bear.

“Mm,” he hummed proudly, latching his lips onto your neck again until your fingers tangled in his hair.  He moved down and caught a nipple in his mouth, making you whimper as he suckled at it gently. 

“Fuck,” you whined, nearly pulling him along by the hair when he moved to the other one; you couldn’t stop clenching inside, squeezing him until he groaned against your skin. 

“Won’t last if you keep doing that,” he warned you softly. 

“What if I don’t want you to?” you teased, and he growled a little between his teeth, sitting up to look down at you.  He fucked you harder, but put a hand on top of your head and pet your hair for a moment, looking at you like you hung the moon; how could he be so dirty then so adorable within the same split-second?!

“I’ll do whatever you want me to,” he decided, speaking softly, “how about that?  What do you want me to do?”

That was a little too much power to give you, at least in your opinion, but you grinned as you considered it.  “Then I want you to come way too quick,” you decided, “like all those annoying college boys—because you just can’t help yourself.”

He laughed a little, though he stopped to bite his lip as he fucked you even harder—and faster, too.  “Okay,” he breathed, “don’t know why you want that, but—fuck— it won’t be very difficult after that little show you gave me.  You look so pretty when you come…”

“Just keep going and you can see it again,” you promised, holding onto him tighter as he pressed into you and really let you have it—not really rough or anything, you couldn’t risk making any more noise than you were, but still aggressive and passionate and desperate.

He kissed your neck again, burying his face in your shoulder and finding the spot that made you gasp out his name suddenly; your fingers clutched at fistfuls of his undershirt, and your legs began to shake where they were hooked around his hips and half-pushed-down pants.

“Oh my god,” you gasped, the pleasure hitting you again—but it was better than with the toy, it was stronger, and it just kept going because he kept going.  When your head fell back onto the mattress with a sigh, he realized that he’d made you come.

“Wait, fuck, I wasn’t looking,” he rushed as he popped his head up from the crook of your neck, “do it again.”

You laughed breathlessly and pushed against his shoulder a bit; “Shut up, I can’t do it on command.”

“You did it the last two times I told you to,” he reminded you, and that just made you feel even more deliciously dizzy. 

Yes, you were definitely his girl now—totally addicted to him.  You’d never felt like this with somebody—not just physically, but the trust and the laughter and the comfort of it all.  This wasn’t a too-empty dorm room that still smelled like fresh paint, it wasn’t a mattress with no sheets in an apartment with 5 roommates nearby, it wasn’t a guy you vaguely knew from a two-hundred-student class or someone you saw on a dating app and talked with for an afternoon before meeting for ‘coffee’ (it was never just coffee).  This was Mr. Murphy—and that should’ve made it weirder, but somehow, it just made it make more sense.

“So, if I tell you to come again,” he spoke lowly by your ear, a new authority to his tone, “you should come.”

You couldn’t think of anything else to say: “Yes, sir,” you breathed, hugging him close to you and pressing your face against his shoulder.

Of course, it wasn’t quite instantaneous, but just another minute of him giving you those deep, controlled thrusts right into your favorite spot sent you over the edge easily—and this time, he gently guided your face out of its hiding spot and looked at you, watched your pleasure overtake you, tenderly rubbing your cheek with his thumb.  “Good girl,” he praised softly, kissing you again just as the last of it drained from you; you were so numb that you barely heard him whisper something to you—it took you a few seconds to process it.

“I’m gonna come,” he’d whispered to you, “fuck, you’re so fucking warm…”

“Come inside,” you instructed, and for all the concern he tried to perform for you after you said that, his moan was undeniable, as was the way he started to move faster.

“Fuck, really?” he nearly whined.  “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, panting.

“You’re on—”

“Yes, please, just come inside me,” you begged, and he finally stopped protesting and pressed himself as deep into you as he could—you could feel the way his cock flexed, and it made your exhausted walls dig up just enough energy to flex back.

“Fuuuuck,” he groaned, holding onto you tightly.

You hummed a little at the feeling, turning your face towards his, hoping to see what he looked like in this moment—but he pulled you into another kiss before you could get a good look.  Even this kiss was different from the others—a little slower, a little more tired in a wonderful, dreamy way.  He was breathing heavy against you, and eventually he found the energy to push himself up with his arms on either side of your head, and you smiled up at him.  He looked really fucking good like this: his face a bit flushed, which seemed to show his freckles and fine lines even more (which you adored); his hair falling down, a little wavier from the slight sweat he’d worked up; his lips swollen and slick from the kisses; and those eyes, they looked as beautiful as always, but they made you feel beautiful, too.

“Is taking this one out gonna hurt, too?” he asked you with a smirk.

“Probably a little,” you shrugged.

“For both of us,” he agreed, “I’m so fucking sensitive now… you really do have me acting like a desperate college boy—but you know, it’s been a while, so…”

“Right, sure—good excuse,” you joked, but you didn’t mind any of it either way.

He did it a little quicker, pulling back as he took a sharp breath in, and you giggled softly.

“Fuck, I can feel it, like… leaking out,” you admitted, biting your lip at the sick satisfaction of the warm gush.

“I think I need to see that,” he said, sitting up and picking your legs up from under the knee to look at you.  This was apparently a habit of his—and you were starting to get used to it already.

“How’s it look?” you asked, wondering if he’d finally stretched you out after that.

He just stared at it for a moment longer, running his tongue over his teeth, before finally looking back at you and saying with a smile: “Looks like you need the Tide pen more than I do.”

[darnell-la]

Sub! Logan would be so fucking hot. And the way you write him is soo good! I'd love to see your ideas about how he would act as a sub.

note: we rushed this BUT we have more. better ones coming soon!

follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!

———

“Going to pearls,” a woman spoke as she got into his car. “What’s your name?” He asked to confirm. “Y/n,” she said. The man turned around, realizing that this young lady was alone.

Usually, he picks up a huge group. That’s why he has a limousine, but she’s alone and has no one on her guest list.

“You gonna drive, handsome?” Y/n asked. Logan quickly turned back around and began driving. He was surprised by the nickname, but he let it go. He’s been called everything by now.

Logan’s been driving for ten minutes, music low, and y/n looking out the window. He’s never felt this awkwardness because it wasn’t him and only one person in the car.

“So — Friends busy?” He asked. Y/n slowly turned her head, looking at the man in the mirror. “All canceled. As always,” she added before she looked back out of the window.

“Oh,” he said, feeling a bit bad. He could see she paid one hundred for every hour tonight, and he would be with her for six hours.

“I mean, I can talk to my job, probably give you a refund or somethin,” he said, feeling like he should help her in some way. Usually, the man couldn’t care less, but y/n’s a young woman going to a club alone.

“I’ll be fine — Guess all the drinks I bought will be for me,” she said in a low voice that pained Logan to hear. She seemed sweet, and her friends canceled out on her. All of them.

“What was this for? Like, tonight? What did you have planned for tonight?” He kept a conversation going which confused y/n. His profile says he preferred not to talk and that he wouldn’t talk first.

“Well, it’s kind of my birthday, so — Yeah,” y/n sighed. “Oh, well — Happy birthday?” He said, not knowing if it was appropriate. The woman giggled to herself at his attempt to make her feel better.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna drink? I’ve got plenty and I can’t leave with any bottles,” she said, pointing to the bottles on the table, all hard liquor and only one juice for a mixture.

“I kind of have to drive you back home,” Logan turned down her offer, which he’d never done before. “C’mon! It’s my birthday,” she smiled at the man as she raised a bottle for him to take.

Logan waved her off, wanting to be responsible and think about her life that could be at stake, but he still felt bad about the empty spaces on the couches.

“Fine, but only if you don’t report me,” he joked, making her laugh as she took a bottle herself. “Cheers to me and my only friend who showed up which is the bodyguard,” she raised her drink.

“Cheers,” the man chuckled before raising the drink to his lips. He watched the girl drink, thinking it would be a small amount like any young lady, but her — She had almost chugged half the bottle.

“Woah, bub — Don’t hurt yourself,” he said, making her roll her eyes playfully. “Oh, don’t be mad because I can drink more than you,” she said, wanting to have some kind of fun tonight. Getting her bodyguard drunk and then driving her home sounds like a fun story to tell.

“Trust me, y/n — You can’t,” he said, but y/n didn’t believe him. That was until he shrugged his shoulders and chugged the whole bottle. The expression across her face was stunned. She’s never seen anything like that before.

“What the fuck,” she whispered. “Yeah — Kinda my power,” he chuckled. The man turned around to start his job and stood outside of her closed section until she spoke.

“Wait! I-I’m kind of alone so I don’t mind if you — stay? Please, I kind of feel like shit,” she admitted. She told her friends she was completely fine about their cancellation, but she’s not. She lost a lot of money and her mood was talk.

Logan couldn’t turn the offer down just like the last, so he stayed. The two drank all night, finishing every last bottle. She even got him to dance with her which he wouldn’t have done with anyone else. He had no idea what’s gotten into him tonight.

“God, tonight was fun,” y/n said as the man turned the corner where her apartment was. “Yeah, it was,” Logan smiled as he took a quick look at the young lady who was now sitting in the passenger seat, body turned towards him.

“You don’t understand how much I appreciate you, Mister Logan. You were the best fun I’ve had in like years!” She admitted. He wasn’t scared to drink and dance like most of her friends were.

“You’re the most fun I’ve had in maybe forever,” Logan meant it, but she had no idea who this man was. She was too sad to notice when she first met him and now she’s too drunk to realize.

“Is there a way I can repay you? Maybe like a cup of tea? I don’t fuckin’ know,” y/n laughed with him. “I don’t know, hun, I kind of have to get back home,” he said.

“How far do you live from here?” She asked. “About thirty minutes,” he said. “Oh, no,” she gasped. He’d been drinking because of her, and now she was going to have him drive back and half an hour just to get him.

“Don’t worry, bub. I've been doin’ this a lot,” he said. “Yeah, but I’ll be stressed all night. Please, stay the night. I have a spare room? It’s the least I can do,” she said, sounding like a beg. “God, it’s hard to turn you down. Do you know that?” He said as y/n smiled.

Logan parked the car for the night before y/n got him situated in her spare room. “Still want tea?” She asked. “I think I’ll be fine, bub,” he said. “But a shot would due,” he added. He had seen the liquor drawer she had.

“Comin’ right up, handsome,” she said before walking off. As she did, he couldn’t help but watch her figure. He scanned her dress earlier, but she looked way better just now. Maybe it was the alcohol? He didn’t know.

“You always drink this much?” She asked. “Yeah, and you?” He asked as she handed him his shot before sitting next to him with hers. “As you can see,” she giggled.

“Cheers to a goodnight with a man I brought back from the club?” She couldn’t help herself. “Cheers,” the man downed the drink as he watched her. She’s looked so drinking…

“God, that it’s hard,” she shook her head. “Yeah,” he aimlessly said as he watched a drop of liquor roll down her lip. “Hey, c’mere,” the man said, softly turning her face before wiping the liquor from her mouth.

Y/n was shocked and silent, not knowing what to do after. That seemed so sweet, but at the same time, she was drunk out of her mind.

“They look pretty,” the man spoke, breaking the silence. His thumb grazed her bottom lip, loving the smooth feeling of them. “Really?” She asked low, feeling shy all of a sudden. She hasn’t been all night until now.

“Mhm hm,” he mumbled as he slowly leaned into her. She felt like she was in a trance the way she felt she needed to lean in. Her heart was raising until their lips touched.

At first, it was sweet and slow, maybe a little tongue but after they both opened and locked eyes, they couldn’t help it.

Y/n quickly hopped on top of Logan, now grinding on his hips as he held her up by her ass. The man was shocked at her aggression and dominance but couldn’t complain.

“You taste so good,” she said under her breath as she kissed him. “I’m glad I took you home,” she added before moving down to his neck. She felt this hard urge to mark the man she hardly knew.

“Fuck, y/n,” Logan moaned low. He knew his voice could go that high. Y/n hummed into his neck, sucking long and rough to make sure he was living here marked up.

“Can feel how hard you are. Bet you’ve been waiting for me to touch you all night, hm?” She asked, hands traveling down his stomach until she could palm his clothes cock.

“Mhm hm,” the man whined at her grip. “Words, baby,” she demanded in a soft voice. “Y-Yes, baby,” the man’s mouth went slack at her touch. “So good,” she said before pushing him down in the bed.

“Gonna be good for me tonight?” She asked as he nodded quickly. “Gonna be my birthday gift, baby?” Y/n had lifted her dress before fondling with his belt. “Yes, yes, I am,” he couldn’t hide his heavy breathing.

“Oh god — You’re a big boy, aren’t you?” Y/n pulled Logan’s cock out. He was heavy and huge. “Yes, I am,” he answered, wanting to be good for her. He wanted to make her proud. He wanted to make a woman he barely knew, proud.

“He looks hungry,” y/n stroked the man, watching his pre cum leak from the tip. Y/n spat on the man’s cock, making his eyes widen because no one has ever done that to him before. They’d just wrap their mouth around him or push him inside with no preparation.

“Gonna feel so good,” y/n lifted her hips before sliding all the way down in one go. “F-Fuck,” the man cried out, his already bucking up into her.

“Fuck — Could you be my bodyguard every night?” She jokingly asked but the man nodded back so quickly, she thought about it. Maybe he isn’t too bad. He was fun tonight. He could be fun every night.

“Gonna let me wet you every night, baby?” Y/n asked as she leaned down on his body. “Fuck, yes — I wanna be with you every night,” the man’s hips moved slightly up into y/n, causing her to clench around him from how deep he gets.

“How old are you again, baby?” Y/n asked. “Two hundred,” the man’s hands gripped y/n’s ass, not thinking about his response. “A man with a sense of humor — So hot,”

Y/n rolled her hips, grinding on the man to feel every thick and long inch in her. The way his skin rubbed her walls, made her squeeze around him. He was close but felt embarrassed about how short he was going to last.

“Gonna cum for me, baby?” Y/n asked, seeing the man bite his lip, trying to focus on holding back. “C’mon — I want you to fill me,” y/n whispered in his ear before giving it a light slick.

“Fuck,” the man let out a shaky moan as his legs shook. “C’mon, baby — Cum in me,” y/n began bouncing in the man’s cock, feeling him twitch inside her. She just knew he was going to give her a big and well-needed load.

“C’mon,” y/n rode him harder, filling the room with their skin slapping against each other and her wet cunt coating his cock. “I’m cumming!” Logan warned through his teeth as his hips bucked upwards a few times.

Y/n kept riding him, mixing his seed inside of her until she felt like she had enough. “So fuckin’ good, baby. I wonder if you taste you,” y/n spoke, feeling the urge to suck him dry.

“Fuck, it’s too much,” the old man said, grilling her hips a bit tight so she could slow down, but she wouldn’t. “Oh, really?” She asked, feeling the knot grow in her stomach. She was so close.

“God- Fuck — I can’t take it, baby,” Logan tried begging her. “Yes, you can. Just a few more seconds, baby. You think you can do that?” She asked, looking into Logan’s eyes. They were glossy and full of lust.

The man nodded his head with a shaky hum, feeling the need to cum again. “Good boy,” she spoke as she leaned up, rocking her hips back and forth until she couldn’t anymore.

Y/n released on the man, earning a whine from him. After she came, he couldn’t hold himself in. He had come inside of her again. For the second time.

“Oh god,” y/n breathed out, feeling so full. “S-Sorry,” the man shook as she leaned in front of his face, hands rubbing his cheek. “Wanna feel more of you,” she said.

The man was shocked at how many times this woman could go, but he didn’t want to disappoint her. He wanted to pleasure her and make her happy. He tried to be good for her. And he was for the whole night and many more.

[doomedmoth]

War is Over

Pairing : Reader x Daniel Ricciardo x Max Verstappen | Poly fem!reader

Warnings : use of y/n, smau, polyamory, queer drivers, reader is around 30

Synopsis : You’re just a mechanic at RedBull, not much more to say. Nothing in your contract says you can’t be friends with drivers, right ? The little lines very clearly says you’re not allowed to show it all though. When your chosen “family” fails you, all you can do is hope your loved ones save themselves too.

Moth’s prophecy💡: Hi cryptids, honestly I have no excuses to give, sorry for the randomness of it all, I just needed to get this out to process with the pain of loosing Daniel. I can only hope he finds happiness away from the shit show that RedBull is becoming. Probably going back to hibernation, see ya !

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yourusername : How it started / how it’s going (swipe for my face when I’m not covered in grease). Hello to everyone new here, I’m Y/N, Chief Engine Power Conformity Mechanician at redbullracing ! Based in the never-sunny town of Milton Keynes, but you might see me around the paddock at most races to make sure no one explodes ✌🏻

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F1mech little miss mini boss 🫡

yourusername be glad to have me around to do the dirty work

F1mech Yes ma’am very grateful ma’am 🫡

redbullracing Your work is so crucial and we are happy the world gets to know you more !

redbullracing Also it was sunny last we came to MK ???

yourusername nobody tell admin we take out the fake blue sky windows when he comes by

user1 lmao I live in Milton Keynes and can attest we haven’t seen the sun in weeeeks

user2 never wanted to be a redbull neon sign so bad

user3 I can see why they hide her in the shithole that is Milton Keynes, the whole paddock would go crazy over her

user4 she would make such a cute wag omg !!

user5 bet every girlie is on their man’s back whenever she’s around

user6 she works for RB soooo… d’you think her and checo…? 😳

user7 she already has someone guys !! Though we have never seen his face, but I think she’s more interested in the cars than the ones inside them

user6 checo is married and still it doesn’t stop him lmao

user8 are you part of the pit crew ?? Never seen you before ! /g

yourusername I’m not !! I mainly work on the cars before and after the races and practices to make sure everything is in place, not faulty, and compliant to both Redbull’s and the FIA’s standards of security 🤗 but 60/70% of my work is at the factory, and the paddock parts happens behind close doors, so no worries

maxverstappen1 she makes sure nobody dies

yourusername and god knows y’all make it hard sometimes

danielricciardo yeah this second pic is so much better

yourusername oh don’t start me boy

danielricciardo hihihi 🤭

user9 hello Daniel ???

user10 How can I work at Redbull too pls I beg you I’ll even make coffee and mop the floors

yourusername check our offers on the website honey !! Most jobs require some experience or diploma but we also offer internships and graduate programs if you want to make your way in

user10 thank u 🥹

user10 that’s how you got in ?

yourusername nope, I’ve worked on cars forever and in motorsports for years before getting to F1, but we have plenty of opportunities in non-technical fields too!

user11 pretty, kind, works in f1, not single, lemme just Google how to be like you

user12 you okay dude ? Throat not hurting too much from gagging on her dick

user13 lmaoooo yeah seeing her looks that’s probably a daddy’s girl who got put in exec and pretends to know what she’s talking about

user14 wouldn’t be shocked if her “work behind closed doors” is ordering actual mechs around like minions

danielricciardo is your little ego so hurt by the fact that you’ll never be talented enough to get to her place that you’ve resorted to running your shitty mouth online ? Breath getting stinky mate, careful 🤢

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yourusername : Everything’s twice as fun with you

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user15 lover boy lover boy lover boy !

user16 I’m more excited for the face reveal than for my best friend’s wedding

user17 pls get checked wtf

user18 wait isn’t he blonde ? who’s the dark haired one in some pics ? With tattoos ?

user19 you might be new but Y/N always post pics of lover boy randomly, so some pics are old, and he often dyes his hair !

user18 wow damn I need his hairdresser coz this is cleaaaaan

yourbff don’t tell me you let him touch your car

yourusername lmaooo never 💀 tried to teach him to change some parts on his

yourbff and…?

yourusername ended up doing it…

yourbff at least he’s cute !!

yourusername Hey ! That must counts for something !

user20 not them bullying him coz he either doesn’t have socials or is not allowed to answer

yourbff what ? us ?

yourusername Never 😇

user21 oh damn she bagged herself a hottie

user22 HE bagged himself a hottie have you seen her ??

user23 couple goals and we ain’t ever seen his face like

user24 ain’t no need for a face with a body like this

user25 kinda looks like Max on the 6th slide no ??

user26 lmao as if

user27 the man can bag any celebrity doubt he cares for a factory girl

user28 the pic with the RB can lol

yourusername trained him well 😇

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[Instagram] maxverstappen1 has added a story

user29 replied to the story :

oh yeah I keep forgetting y’all old money rich rich

user30 replied to the story :

so we all forgetting about Horner’s accusation ?? Truly just RB’s bitch in the end

user31 replied to the story :

Is that y/n ?? Didn’t know the mechs were invited to those events

danielricciardo replied to the story :

man I do take amazing pics when the models look so good

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yourusername : vitamin sea 🌊⛱️🐚 Australia, you never disappoint

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oscarpiastri wish we could have hung out more 🥺

yourusername we hung out at your house bby!!

user32 BBY ?? SOMEONE CALL LILY COZ THIS BITCH IS OVERSTEPPING

oscarpiastri we didn’t hang out you repaired my mom’s car while Lily and I were drinking WARM BEERS ON THE FLOOR

yourusername SORRY YOU CAN’T APPRECIATE MY CRAFT LIKE YOUR MOTHER DOES also hi to lils 💕🌸🎀

oscarpiastri DON’T BRING MY MOM INTO THIS she said she misses u 🤗💕✨

user32 oh

yourusername yeah

oscarpiastri yeah

nicolepiastri yeah

yourbff you need to turn off work like for reeeaaaal

yourusername how can I when those two are literally glued to my hip

danielricciardo shocked sad disappointed

maxverstappen1 Lover boy will hear about this

yourusername Are those threats ? Remember I literally have power over your life

danielricciardo not mine anymore lol Lover boy WILL HEAR about this

user33 oh so that definitely erases the possibility of Max or Daniel being Lover Boy

user34 as if there had ever been any evidence of that

user35 Lover boy in the Redbull cap ??

yourusername Yep ! Max gave it to him

user35 daaaaamn he is ripped

yourusername hihi 🤭

user36 no one questioning why the fuck is a mechanician hanging so much with drivers ??

user37 *chief mechanician

F1mech oh shit buddy thank you, we weren’t aware we couldn’t be friends with people we spend more than half of the year on the road with

maxverstappen1 cancel your ticket rn mate, you can’t vacation with us

F1mech come on user36, see what you’ve done ?? Maybe if you hadn’t questioned it I could have gone, fucker

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user38 has replied to your story :

Not you posting this straight after the checo announcement 💀

yourbff has replied to your story :

just saw the news, is Danny ok ?? Pls call me

maxverstappen1 has replied to your story :

Booked you a table at San Marco at 8, sorry I can’t be there tonight…

it’s okay, I know how it is, I just don’t want him to be alone… thx for the restaurant 💕

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user39 has replied to your story :

omg same

user40 has replied to your story :

IS THAT DANIEL ???

user41 has replied to your story :

the tattoos ??? girl we knoooow

redbullracing has replied to your story :

y/n ?

yup yup yup sorry

This story has been deleted.

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user41 has replied to your story :

lmao miss thing is piiiissed

yukitsunoda0511 has replied to your story :

i can’t find my controller d’you have one more ? 🥺

yes bby just come before your food gets cold

user42 has replied to your story :

She supports Max’s rights but mostly Max’s wrongs

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user43 has replied to your story :

preeeaach 🙌🏻

user44 has replied to your story :

all redbull employees protesting the FIA has me going !! Tell Horner to open his mouth too for once

danielricciardo has replied to your story :

I want this pic as my new lockscreen

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[Instagram] danielricciardo just posted a photo

danielricciardo : l've loved this sport my whole life. It's wild and wonderful and been a journey. To the teams and individuals that have played their part, thank you. To the fans who love the sport sometimes more than me haha thank you. It'll always have its highs and lows but it's been fun and truth be told I wouldn't change it.

Until the next adventure.

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redbullracing 🫶🏻

user45 SHUT UP

user46 the audacity

user47 you promised you would treat him better !!

user48 Daniel > Perez

user49 DTS fan

lewishamilton legend 🫂

user50 game recognize game

user51 tell Mercedes to give him a seat

maxverstappen1 Head up ! Many more beautiful moments to come, somewhere you’ll be recognized and appreciated 💪🏻 our time together isn’t over, but I’m glad for all the racing, the laughs, the nights, for you ❤️

user52 wow hm Max no need to make all of us cry

user53 I feel like I’ve just walked in on something very personal…

user54 maxiel 😭😭😭

user55 he was the best mate you ever had, never should have left RedBull

yourusername Working with you was an honor, but getting to know and appreciate you made my whole life brighter, and I can’t thank you enough for this 🌞 no contracts can bring us apart, see you around honey bee 💛

user56 the little dig at RB’s contracts lmao

user57 why does honey bee feel much more intimate than honey badger ??

user58 we haven’t seen this level of emotion for De Vries, yet you were already working for the “RedBull family” if I’m not mistaken ??

user59 maybe because no one gives two shits about De Vries ??

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yourusername : Well, there it is. After 15 years of working on cars, the last 10 in motorsports, last five in Formula 1, it’s time for me to take a break. It was just perfect to finish it off in my hometown Austin, and I’m so grateful to my friends and family who made the trip to celebrate together. I remember my first week at Milton Keynes, my whole life in a suitcase. Abu Dhabi 2021, and those stories we’ll keep for our old days. I was so proud to be part of this, the champagne, the fireworks, the love. The day Daniel came back to us. The people I’ve met, the opportunities I’ve had, none would have been possible without you, ‘Bull. It’s been oh so amazing, but oh so tiring. I’ve reached a point in my life where I need my environment to be aligned with what I want, my values and the people I love and care for. So it’s goodbye.

F1, thank you for everything. I’ll miss you, but I gotta go. 💙

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F1mech I solemnly swear to not make anything explode, to always triple check my laces, to never pick Yoshi in Mario Kart because it’s yours, and to forever keep you close to my heart. Thx mini boss, you were amazing 🫡

yourusername Thanks Callum, you’re gonna make me cry now…

user60 US TOO 😭

user61 naaaaah another one leaving RedBull, shit is really going down

user62 where do you think she’s going ? Aston ?

user63 or Ferrari

yourusername Sorry to disappoint but neither ! It’s really a full break, for a while at least, I need to get my head out of the oil and machinery

user64 leaving England then ?? What about lover boy ??

yourusername Lover boy was never British eheh, who told you that ? 🤭

user65 if Lover boy is confirmed to be Daniel I’ll loose my shit

user66 I will always root for Max though…

user67 he has tattoos omg it’s never been Max !!

redbullracing Now it’s pretty sure MK will never see the sun again with you gone 😭

user68 we still hate you

user69 fuck off

yukitsunoda0511 🥺🫶🏻

yourusername 😚🫴🏻💕

yourbff it’ll be hard, but it’ll be good

yourusername thankfully i won’t be alone

yourbff not long to wait

yourusername yeah, soon soon

user70 ???

user71 I have a headache just thinking about everything the soon soon could be about

user72 really doubt Max is staying much longer in RedBull seeing how many engineers are quitting

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user73 has replied to your story :

no yeah we get it this looks much better than the factory lmao

user74 has replied to your story :

Honey bee ?? I’ve heard that one before

oscarpiastri has replied to your story :

Mom said you haven’t gone to see her yet ! Meanie !

user75 has replied to your story :

crazy how Max starts winning again since you’re gone

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F1 : BREAKING : Max Verstappen has announced his retirement after winning his 4th World’s Drivers Championship.

Record breaker.

Late braker.

Legend.

#ThankYouMax

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user76 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

user77 when I tell you I fell to my knees

user78 screaming crying throwing up

user79 I refuse to believe this is true

user80 what the hell was this season

user81 DTS is gonna have a field day with this one

user80 doubt 10 episodes are gonna be enough

redbullracing There aren’t enough words to describe the impact you’ve had on our history, Max. You’ll forever be a pillar of the RedBull family, and an icon of the sport. Tudududu 🧡

lewishamilton Thank you for the challenges, you’ve always pushed us to go harder. Never thought I would have to see you leave, but we’ll keep your legacy running 👑

user82 Alonso when ???

user83 Who’s gonna take his seat ? Honey badger comeback ?

user84 doubt it, he said in the only interview he gave that he had some friends to go see a few continents away, bet he was talking bout Danny

user85 April Fools ?

user86 In December ??

user87 I really don’t understand why, everything was going much better with the car lately

user88 I think he’s just done with the sport, he said multiple time he wouldn’t force it if he didn’t feel like it anymore

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user89 has replied to your story :

wait, if that’s lover boy, who’s the guy you were with lately ??

user90 has replied to your story :

Sydney airport !!

user91 has replied to your story :

OMG I KNEW I SAW MAX IN SYDNEY THIS MORNING WTF I RECOGNIZE HIM

yourbff has replied to your story :

you did it bby, it’s time to rest now

ily, we will 💕

user92 has replied to your story :

The timing with Max quitting RB is so odd I’m seriously questioning my sanity rn

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yourusername, danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 : War is Over.

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danielricciardo : From sneaking out of restaurants to barricading the doors of our shared hotel rooms, I wish I could have told the world earlier how much I love you. But I’m glad I can now. There’s something magical about finding the one, so when you find the two, you’ll make any radical change necessary to protect them. Think you were right Maxie, the farm life does suit us.

This was the Honey Badger, peace ✌🏻

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maxverstappen1 : Turning off comments coz those two are mine and you can only admire them from afar. I know they’re pretty. They’re mine. And I’ll say it as many times as I want now. Mine mine mine mine mine

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yourusername : Oh, I’m sorry, did I say Lover Boy ? I meant Boys 🤭

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user93 WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

user94 mother is finally letting us out of the cage and none of us can take it

user95 the first pic

user96 I could die

user97 who the fuck even took it

user98 she said “y’all won’t let me post their faces ? I’ll give you the whole sextape”

user99 I knew it I fucking knew it Maxiel nation we won

oscarpiastri so happy for you guys, go be free with the little goats 🥹

yourusername pls try to survive

maxverstappen1 and if RB tries to buy you RUN BACK HOME

user100 oh shit it’s time for no filter Max era

yourusername you’ve had a taste this year, be prepared for the real deal

yukitsunoda0511 finally i can stop pretending to not speak English when asked about you

danielricciardo you were pretending very well if I may say

yukitsunoda0511 thanks !

user101 oh yuki sweet summer child…

user102 don’t tell me in Japan already ??

yourusername you really took a good look at this pic and thought “yeah, those two are straight” ? It’s a you issue honestly

user102 yeah okay fair

user103 7th pic ???

maxverstappen1 Abu Dhabi ‘21

maxverstappen1 tasted better than champagne tbh

user104 oh so y’all are just leaking EVERYTHING now, no fucks given

danielricciardo I had to pay a lot for those pics to not get out back then so yeah kinda

danielricciardo which is a shame when we look so good

user105 sooooo… about the high performance athlete….?

maxverstappen1 yes.

yourusername yes.

danielricciardo 💕

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[Twitter] danyfanclub just posted

[666soulz]

rapper!connie first run in with fashionvlogger!reader was…interesting. you answered a question from a fan on twitter who asked if you could style one rapper who would it be? you replied saying, ‘connie springer, his music don’t match his style. he dressing like a regular hood nigga when he should be dressing like a bad bitch with a dark lair. pisses me off.’

eren snorted when he seen the tweet and sent it to connie. at first he was a little offended and was about to clean you right on up, but when he saw the comments agreeing??? he had to find out why your opinion mattered so much. so the the first thing he did was tap that instagram link. 550k followers. hmm. he seen that plenty of his celebrity mutuals followed you. 

                           hollowsoul

followed by thegirljt, gunna, liluzivert and others. 

when he tapped on your pinned photo he almost drooled at your beauty, your body, and the outfit you were wearing.  you indeed had that shit on to the T. connie caught himself scrolling through your feed as his anemic ass shook ice into his mouth. you sure did have a love for all black outfits. 

he taps on that message button and types in two words. ‘style me’ 

your phone lights up as you stir around the meat in the pan. you put your glass of wine down to pick up your phone. 

instagram 

new message 

you tap on the notification and it takes you to the dm. you didn’t really have a shocked reaction, but you were surprised that he even bothered to to dm you. connie was semi private. he has moments where he’s very active on social media then he becomes a ghost. 

‘sure long as your okay with me vlogging’

connie puts his cup of ice down beside his feet warning his dog, Choppo, to not touch before replying to you. 

‘i don’t mind. you free on friday?’

   ‘i am’

ight let’s meet at the outlet mall on Lafayette @ 1 then. you mind if me, my friends, and security come?

 okay sounds good and i don’t mind at all.  see you on friday x

trust me you were less boring in person. connie was lacking in first impression as he was late to you guys shopping date. 

you didn’t mind though, you were right in dior trying on sunglasses. “how these look y’all?” you ask your camera. “i don’t know they’re kinda cunt..” you say looking in the small mirror. you didn’t even notice connie and his crew walking in and walking towards you. 

“i like them.”

you look behind you, seeing connie and his friends. connie took you in while you were distracted and you were better in person. you were in an all black outfit, of course, and you looked fucking beautiful. 

“they’re cute right?” you smile looking up at the 6’1 FINE ass dominican man. one thing that  also irritated you about connie’s style is that it doesn’t emphasize his face. connie face card was something different. He had beautiful features, hazel eyes, low lids, some pretty plump lips, and he was pulling off a buzz cut like david beckham in the 2000’s. not many people can do that. 

“yeah, sorry I was late. had to drop my sister off to her dance practice.” connie says you wave him off, “oh I'm not worried about it. it gave me time to think of what stores i want to go to.” you say taking your glasses off. “hey it’s nice to meet y’all,” you said looking at the two men behind connie. eren and ony. they weren’t a group but they put out some collab albums. those albums were heat, and was always playing when you were working out or cleaning. 

“we’re starting here by the way. can’t go wrong with dior. do you have a favorite fashion brand or designer?” you ask connie as you walked over to the men’s section. 

“uhm nike?”

“nike..? you know what i’m just..i’m just going to pretend you didn’t say that.“ you say shaking your head in disappointment. ony was laughing to himself in the background cause he could hear it in your voice. 

“what’s wrong with nike?” connie smiles as you picked up a dior sweater. “well first off all nike is a sports brand i’m talking about a fashion brand like rick owens, true religion, moschino. 

“what’s a moschino?” connie scrunches his face and he was dead serious. 

“do you know who jeremy scott is? law roach?”

“are these random white people?”

you looked at connie like he was a little lost baby, pouting your glossy lips. “aw you are so cute.” you pinch his cheek. “this is my favorite part. teaching you the ins and out of fashion.” you smile pushing an outfit into his chest. “go try this on.”

connie found out that you were a bossy little thing. if he didn’t like something, “oh well too bad you’re getting it anyways.” ony and eren enjoyed seeing him get bossed around as he was usually the demanding one in the studio. you had fun telling connie stuff about fashion and how to put together a good outfit. 

connie left that outlet with a new wardrobe, friend, and crush. a very big crush that his friends noticed. the way connie blushed like some nerdy school boy every time you’d hype him up. you noticed as well and found it absolutely adorable. 

“do that lil pose that you do. period!” 

you enjoyed Connie's presence. He was a mix between laidback and hyper. like when he got comfortable around you, he got to cracking jokes. even joking you. picking up some ugly ass cowgirl boots and saying, “this looks like something you’d like.” and you’d just give him a little playful glare telling him to not play with you. 

you left Connie with a homework assignment. learn how to use pinterest and make a pinterest board. 

[lolxdswag123]

Who’s the bad influence? Pt. 3

Rafe Cameron x reader series

Authors note: this is the third part of the series, I just put them all in a masterlist that I have pinned on my profile.

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, unhealthy family dynamic

_______________________________________________

When I woke up the next morning, all I could think about was getting rid of my pounding headache and unbearable dry mouth. After throwing it all up last night, I thought I would've gotten everything out of my system. Obviously not.

I was partially thankful for Rafe being there for me the night before. The other part of me was mad he had to see me that way. I wasn’t exactly embarrassed- that isn’t the right word. We grew up together. He’s seen me embarrass myself plenty of times. I couldn’t place a finger on what I was feeling, but it was somewhere in between a heavy awkwardness and a slight comfort.

I sat up, clutching my head, and searched for my water bottle from the night before. I picked it up, but on second thought decided not to drink out of it. My mouth had been on it before I used the mouthwash last night.

I checked my phone, seeing that it was only 8:30, and saw 3 missed texts from my friends.

One from Sarah:

Hey, Rafe told me you guys made it back. Let me know if you need anything!

She's the best.

Another from Kie:

Sarah said you left with Rafe last night? I feel bad for you

And one more from JJ:

Sorry for last night

I made a mental note to respond to them after I found some water and Advil. I slowly got out of Sarah's bed, hearing voices downstairs. I followed the sound of the voices until I reached the kitchen where Rafe and Topper had clearly just cleaned.

As I enter the room in search of water, Topper says, "So, Megan really didn't stay over last night?"

I grab a water bottle out of the refrigerator, turning toward them to listen to their conversation. "Nah," Rafe replied, shaking his head and putting the remaining empty beer cans from the counter into a large trash bag.

Topper shook his head in disbelief, "I feel like you're lying, dude. She has been all over you lately."

I froze in place, trying not to announce my presence until I hear the end of this conversation.

"I told you, I'm not feeling it." Rafe said dismissively, tying off the garbage back and setting it aside. As he turns to grab more cleaning supplies from underneath the sink he notices me.

His eyes catch on me for a moment, a smirk in the corner of his mouth, before returning to his duties.

"Morning," he says, grabbing a roll of paper towels and a spray bottle.

"Morning," I reply, walking around the counter to sit in the chair next to Topper. "So, who's Megan?" I ask, looking at my brother for an answer.

"Just this hot girl that has been all over Rafe the past few weeks," Topper shrugs, saying it as if it's common knowledge.

"Ooooh," I say, "Do you have a picture?" I ask, masking my true intentions with feigned interest.

"Yeah, let me pull up her Instagram." Topper says, pulling out his phone.

Rafe breathes out harshly before saying, "I told you, I'm not into it."

I glance up and lock eyes with him for a moment, raising my eyebrows in question. He shakes his head in response.

The silent exchange goes unnoticed by my brother, who had already pulled up Megan's Instagram. He holds out the phone for me to take, allowing me to scroll through her photos. I had to admit, the girl was hot. She had long, thick hair and glowing skin. Part of me admired her, and part of me also resented her existence. I scrolled through all of her recent photos before coming across a recent photo at the beach.

"Damn, Rafe," I said, "She is hot!"

"See?" Topper encouraged, "That's what I'm telling you."

Rafe rolls his eyes, not acknowledging our comments. We sit there a little while longer as Topper recounts all of the events from the night before. I zone out, not really caring to hear about all of the stupid kook drama. I find myself instead watching Rafe as he finishes cleaning. I start to wonder more about this Megan girl.

I was snapped out of my thoughts as Topper announced, "And that's why right before you came down here I was just thanking my good buddy Rafe for not letting my baby sis sleep at a pogues house. Right Rafe?" He looked at Rafe proudly, seeking his confirmation.

"Anytime, Top." Rafe said dryly, "Now I don't want to be that guy, but you guys need to go before Ward gets back. His flight is coming in early."

We both nod, standing up from our chairs. Topper said he was going to grab his keys from upstairs, but I already had my purse ready to go. I just needed to give Rafe his clothes back.

I walked toward him in the empty kitchen, about to ask what he wanted me to do with them, but he spoke up first, "You can just keep those for now. Give them to Sarah or something next time you see her." He said, nonchalantly.

I nodded, taking a sip of my water. I leaned against the wall as he grabbed a bottle of water for himself. "Rafe?" I ask.

He hums in acknowledgment.

"Thanks again, for everything. It means a lot." I say genuinely, smiling bashfully up at him.

He looks at me, then back at the hall, then back to me and a smirk crosses his face. "No problem, you feeling okay today?"

I shrug, "Not the best, but I expected it."

He nods, stepping closer to me, "You need anything?"

My heart beat picks up a little bit but I shake my head and try not to show how our close proximity is affecting me, "All good, thanks."

He nods, extending a hand to the sleeve of his sweater on my body, “This fits you well,” he says, his fingers playing with the fabric.

I blush, looking down at his hand, “It’s nice.”

He takes a step closer, about to speak again when Topper calls out, “You ready?”

I take a step back from Rafe, causing him to drop his hand, “Yep! Coming!” I call back, turning to leave the kitchen.

Before I exit the the room, I give Rafe a small smile, which he returns.

This is the Rafe Cameron I know. Not the one everyone always tells me about. Not the one they’ve made up those horrible rumors about. This right here is my version of Rafe.

The ride home with Topper is silent. We’re both terribly hungover and we only speak briefly about stopping for breakfast.

When we arrive back at my house I immediately go to my room to get cleaned up. I still felt disgusting from the night before.

After showering, drying my hair, and putting on a change of clothes I text Kie to see what everybody is doing today.

I go downstairs to the kitchen to find Topper cooking lunch. The smell makes me queasy, so I opt for some crackers from the pantry. I take a seat at the kitchen island in front of him and find myself looking up this Megan girl on Instagram again.

“Where are mom and dad?” I ask after a while, looking up from my phone.

He stirs the pot on the stove and replies, “I think they had some golf tournament at the club today.”

I nod, of course they do. To my benefit, this means they will probably be there most of the day. This means I can enjoy my day with my friends without their permission or their judgment.

With excellent timing, Kie texts back:

Me JJ and Pope are hanging at the Wreck if u wanna come

I smile, standing up from my place and leaving the kitchen to get my purse.

“I’m going out!” I call to Topper when I reach the bottom of the stairs, where my bag is hanging.

“Where?” He asks.

“The Wreck,” I respond, walking back to the kitchen and giving him the most innocent smile I could, “Don’t tell mom and dad?”

He shakes his head, scoffing, “They don’t want you hanging out with them for a reason, you know.”

I purse my lips, looking away, “If you don’t tell them I went, I won’t tell them how drunk you were last night.” I propose, sticking out my hand for him to shake.

He shakes his head again, rolling his eyes but extending his hand to shake mine, “Fine. But be home before dinner. We’re meeting them at the club when they’re done golfing.”

“Deal!” I say, walking away and heading out the door.

When I arrive at the Wreck, Kie and Pope are both helping Kie’s parents bring out food and JJ is lounging at a table with his feet up. I walk up behind the counter and greet everyone, immediately grabbing a tray from Kie.

“Ah, Y/N! So good to see you!” Mrs. Carrera says to me, giving me a side hug.

“Good to see you too!” I say, handing out drinks to the people at the counter.

“Tell your parents we say hello.” Mr. Carrera says, patting my back as he walks past.

I nod, turning to JJ who was watching the scene in front of him.

“Hey blondie!” I say, getting his attention. “The sooner you help, the sooner we all get to hangout. Get to work.”

JJ scrambles out of his chair and heads toward me, hand now above his brow at attention. “Yes ma’am!”

“Thank you, Y/N,” Kie rolls her eyes, handing JJ an apron.

We work for about an hour before the lunch rush dies down. Kie’s parents kindly made us meals to repay us for our service. I finally was able to eat without feeling like I was going to spill my guts again.

We all sat around a table in the corner, finally getting to relax.

“So Y/N,” Kie said, looking with disgust at the boys shoving their food down their throats, “What happened last night? Sarah said Rafe came to pick you up?”

I nodded, looking away, remembering all of the previous evening, “Yeah, Top gets weird about me staying at guys houses so…” I lied, not wanting to say that he actually looks down on all of them- even though they already knew that part.

Kie nodded skeptically. I knew she knew the truth, but she also knew how much I hate hurting their feelings over the way my family perceived them.

She brushed it off, continuing the conversation, “So you had to ride back? With Rafe? I bet that was a nightmare.”

I held back a smile, looking down before replying, “It honestly wasn’t that bad. I ended up getting sick last night and he was really sweet about it-“

Our attention was diverted from the conversation as Pope started choking on his sandwich. JJ patted him on the back until he stopped coughing, finally reaching to take a drink of water and croaking, “We’re talking about Rafe Cameron, right?”

I nod, looking at my friends shocked expressions.

JJ decides to speak up after nobody else does, “Rafe Cameron, and sweet, don’t go together. They just don’t.”

I looked around, all of them nodding in confirmation.

“I tell you guys all the time, he’s not as bad as you think.” I say, not sure if I’m convincing them or myself.

Kie shakes her head, looking at me with furrowed eyebrows, “Y/N. Not as bad as we think? You know everything he’s done.”

I shrug, “Maybe it’s more rumors than you think. That’s all I have to say.”

They all share a look that tells me they don’t agree with me, but let it go anyways.

“Okay since you want to call him sweet, what could Rafe Cameron possibly have done that deserves that?” JJ says, seeming clearly annoyed.

I look around, deciding whether I want to share this with them. They will probably just judge me now, or think I’m turning full kook. I decide to only share some of the details.

I pause for a moment, intertwining my hands in front of me before finally speaking, “He brought me a water…”

JJ laughs out loud immediately, and Pope snickers, but Kie looks at me to continue.

“A water?” JJ practically shouts. “Anyone could bring you a water. That’s nothing. What else you got?” He asked, but it really sounded more like a challenge.

It really wasn’t my place to be defending Rafe to any of my friends. Heck, I had barely talked to him in years. But the little girl inside me who was his best friend felt like I owed it to myself- my younger self- to not let them speak badly about my old best friend.

“He tied my hair back for me and sat with me in the bathroom.” I said slowly, scanning their faces, gauging their reactions.

Pope’s mouth immediately fell open. JJ rolled his eyes, digging his knife into the table, and Kie raised her eyebrows like she was impressed.

“Wow,” Kie said, nodding slightly, “If it wasn’t Rafe we’re talking about that actually would be kinda sweet.”

I roll my eyes, holding my hands up in surrender. “Whatever.” I say, “You guys are right. I’m wrong.”

We hangout there for a while, just talking and making plans for the week when Sarah and John B show up. They pull up two chairs, sitting at the table with us and joining into our conversation.

Sarah stops listening, looking down at her phone with a smile.

“Hey, Y/N,” she says, turning her phone around to show me, “My dad just got back and ran into your parents at the club.” On her phone was a selfie of my parents, her dad, and Rose. “Aren’t they cute?” She smiles.

“Adorable.” I smile brightly back at her, before checking my own phone and seeing the time.

“Shit!”

“What’s wrong?” JJ asks.

I scramble out of my seat, grabbing my purse and flattening out my hair. “Do I look like I’ve just been working in a kitchen?” I ask.

“Yeah… kind of.. why?” Kie asks, now everyone’s eyes on my frantic behavior.

“Oh, I just told Topper I’d be there to meet him and my parents for dinner.” I say, smoothing down my tank top the best I could. “Does anyone have perfume?” I ask, looking at Sarah and Kie.

They both shake their heads. Great. I apologize to everyone and say my goodbyes before rushing to my car, throwing on a spare pair of heels from the back and hurrying off to the club.

When I get there, I scramble as quickly as possible to find my family, accidentally crashing into someone on my way there, while adjusting my heel.

“Woah!” They say, grabbing my arms to steady us both.

“I’m sorry,” I say, not making eye contact in my rush to find my parents.

Once the hands don’t leave my arms I think ‘who does this guy think he is?’ and then I look up at him.

“You good?” Rafe asks, trying to catch my eyes, hands still gripping my arms.

I meet his gaze, nodding and taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I was supposed to meet my family here but I’m late so I was just trying to find them before I get in too much trouble.”

His mouth quirks into a slight grin, nodding and saying, “Come on.”

He takes my arm, leading me through the club. We stop and say our courteous hello’s to a few people, and then eventually find a large table that both of our families were sitting at.

My parents look me over disapprovingly, as if they know exactly where I’d come from. I greeted them, walking around to take my seat- trying to cause less of a scene than I knew I would. Rafe pulled out my chair next to Topper’s and then took his seat next to mine.

“Y/N!” Ward said, standing to give me a side hug.

“Hi, Mr. Cameron,” I smiled at him warmly, taking my seat, “Great to see you.”

He nods, “You as well. Have you perhaps seen my daughter today?” He asks.

I nod, glancing uncomfortably between him and Topper before saying, “Yes, she was just at the Wreck with me and John B.”

His face falls and he shakes his head, “Ah.”

My parents both pursed their lips with embarrassment, shaking their heads at me.

Rafe leaned close to my ear, teasing, “Is that why you smell?”

I feigned offense, pushing his shoulder and letting my jaw drop. He smiles, shaking his head and looking down.

I didn’t miss the heavy eyes that I felt from Ward observing this interaction. I glanced up, meeting his eyes and I swore I could see the hint of a gentle look on his face for about half a second before he looked away.

I looked down at my lap, listening as the adults began to converse about the upcoming party that the club was hosting as a fundraiser.

I stopped listening early into the conversation. I leaned over to Topper, making sure everyone was preoccupied before whispering, “You didn’t tell them, right?”

He turned to me, eyebrows raised in ignorance, “Tell them what? That you were with the pogues last night and today?”

My eyes widened, as I looked around the table- making sure no one else heard, “Yeah, that.”

He shrugged, a cocky look on his face, “You said you’d be here, you were thirty minutes late. I couldn’t lie to them.”

“Topper!” I whisper-yelled, “What does that have to do with last night?”

He shrugged again, “Just thought they should know if their daughter is making our family look bad, that’s all.”

I stared at him for a long time before turning away. I couldn’t believe him. My parents are going to lose it. I’ll be grounded for at least a week. This isn’t the first time this has happened.

I take a deep breath, my fingers tapping on my legs under the table as I try to calm myself down. It doesn’t work. I closed my eyes for a second when I felt breath on my neck.

“You wanna get some air?” Rafe asks, in a low voice.

I lock eyes with him, nodding immediately.

(pt. 4 in progress)

[ice-ice-lizzie]

Translation of the Thomas Bordeleau interview on episode 329 of the Sans Restriction podcast hosted by Kevin Raphael. Bold text was originally in English and translator's notes are in brackets. Additional notes are at the end.

Host: Tommy B on the podcast. Tommy B, do you have a new tattoo?

Thom: Mmmm. No. No. Not so far.

Host: It's the same? I haven’t seen [unintelligible].

Thom: (shows him the tattoos on his shoulder)

Host: Okay, ehhhhh.

Thom: I’ve got ‘Bordeleau’ like that (shows tattoo on his bicep) and ‘Bordeleau’ over here as well (shows tattoo on the back of his arm).

Host: Ohhhh. Ohhhhh. It’s like La Valle*. How’s it going Big Dog? Happy to see you, happy to see you, man. How’ve you been spending the summer? You’ve been training here [in Montreal]?

Thom: I’m doing alright. I haven’t seen you too often lately.

[both talking at the same time]

Host: We should go to L'Alliance. I have tickets. I have tickets for L’Alliance.

Thom: Yes, yes.

[both talking at the same time again]

Thom: But ummm, no, it’s going well. Just taking a break and then training. Our season ended early in (he pauses to think) mid-April?

Host: Yo. That’s on paper. (Laughing) Your season ended in mid-February. 

Thom: Exactly. Yeah, unfortunately. [Making playoffs] was not in reach that early in the season, but, uh, no, it is what it is. I took a month off.

Host: What did you do? When you were in San Jose and the season ended, you guys had your meetings or whatever the next day I guess?

Thom: Mmm yeah. On the next day maybe, or to give it some time, two or three days later.

Host: So you take care of business and then you come here?

Thom: They can ship your equipment.

Host: Oh! They ship your equipment?

Thom: It’s the teams who do it. It depends on the equipment manager and what they want. We’re lucky. But uhh I ship my car and I keep my equipment in my car so it doesn’t really matter.

Host: So you put your gear in your car and you send it all in a boat?

Thom: No, it’s just on a truck that drives it across country.

Host: Shit, Quebec is [unintelligible] man.

Thom: It’s expensive. Really expensive.

Host: Oh yeah? It’s bad eh?

Thom: It’s a little insane. Having two cars might be worth it. It’s a shit show shipping everything across the continent.

Host: Because you ship everything before [the season] and after [the season]?

Thom: Yeah. Now the team helps but at the beginning, (giggling) at the beginning I did it all.

Host: What’s the thing, that right now, you know, there’s the team, but did you ever think to yourself did I really pay for all of that at the beginning, for real man?

Thom: Oh

Host: There’s plenty of things in this job that I have to do myself, there’s a lot. There’s a lot.

Thom: Sometimes, just for simple things, like food or supplements anyways, like [unintelligible] for nothing. It’s funny I was talking to my dad and he said ‘when you’re playing everyone wants to give you everything for free but you don’t appreciate it until after your career is over because that’s when you need the paid promotions but no one wants to give them to you.

Host: My method is to buy clothes that I like, but after I put them on, I take a photo, or someone takes a photo, it’s on Instagram, put it on Instagram stories, and it’s like yo Kev’s wearing these clothes.

[both taking at the same time]

Thom: For free.

Host: I’m like I ain’t no bitch. Send the goods!

[both talking at the same time]

Thom: It helps to wear the clothing that they give you. Shout out Elwood. They sent me-

Host: Who?

Thom: Elwood.

Host: Where are they from?

Thom: L.A. It’s a brand from L.A. They’re good.

Host: Shout out. (looking into the camera) Yo Elwood! (looking back at Thom) Elwood?

Thom: (laughing) Elwood.

Host: (looking into the camera) Elwood L.A. Yo yo yooooooo. Sans Restrictions podcast needs some Elwood. 

Thom: Thanks guys.

Host: Tommy B needs some Elwood.

Both: (laughter)

Host: Ok, so the season ends and you come here but you’re not on vacation.

Tom: Yeah, I had to stay here for a bit because my grandmother has health problems that made it so we needed to stay here with her and my grandfather, then three weeks after we came here, we took a little trip to South Carolina to golf. It was nice. Incredible temperatures.

Host: It’s only me who can say ‘that shit white.' [Host is black]

Tom: Oh yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. Real white.

Host: South Carolina, bro? Like the people there are called Corwin. There’s no Mustafas, there’s no-

Tom: Yeah, there’s not a lot.

Host: There’s like ‘John’

Tom: (snorts) Richard.

Host: Richard. Paul.

[both giggling too much to say anything]

Host: But how’s the golfing down there?

Thom: Insane.

Host: You’ve seen my swing, man?

Thom: On the ice, we’d call it a slapshot, but that’s- that’s not-

Host: It goes straight.

Thom: Yeah, yeah it goes straight.

Host: I can still hear the sound of it-

Thom: But it can actually go too far. It can go too far.

[both talking at the same time]

Host: What’s your [furthest distance]**?

Thom: Not too far. 250? 300?

Host: That’s a lot. That’s a lot. What’s your problem?

Thom: Well, you’re right. I [unintelligible] yesterday. At the tournament, I mean not tournament, at the Benjamin Saint Just Foundation ummmm yeah. They did 400 for the longest drive of the day.

Host: You’re shitting me. This guy is fucking with us. Josh, we invite him on the podcast and he’s fucking with us a little. It’s laughable, Josh. Ok. So the season ends and you’re training how many times a week?

Thom: Everyday.

Host: Every day on the ice?

Tom: No, everyday in the gym. On the ice at the beginning, two times a week, later in the summer three, four, five times a week.

Host: Then how… The season is long. Bro, I listened to the games. I looked for you. 

Thom: (laughing through his nose)

Host: Shit, it’s long bro. How is it so long?

Thom: The hardest game of my life was the one that was 10 to 1 against the Oilers at the end of the year. 

Host: It was 10 to 1?

Thom: It was bad in every sense of the word. They were just getting through us all over the place.

Host: Oh shit.

[Both laugh]

Host: Ok admit it, admit it, it was 7 to 1 there, and-

Thom: No, but it was 4-0 after like five minutes and we were like oh my god.

Host: How does that happen? 4-0 after five minutes.

Thom: Well, we had a lot, we had a lot of our players who weren’t playing.

Host: Bro, 4-0 after five minutes is classic but [something I can’t make out about comedians in the NHL]

Thom: Yeah, It was tough. It was tough. A tough game. I think that-

Host: When it got to 9 to 1, was there any chatter on the bench? 

Thom: Well, no.

Thom: Well, no.

Host: Was anyone talking?

Thom: No. We were trying to do something. We were trying to play well. We were trying. The worst thing, I think, was, if I can remember, I think I’m right, but I think, it was 9-1 at the end of the second.

Host: Impossible.

Thom: Or maybe the beginning of the third, because I remember there was a good moment at the end of the game where we didn’t score but, like, we could have had, we could have had it.

Host: Bro. Did you ever have a game this shitty at Michigan or..? (trails off laughing)

Thom: Yeah… I’m sure. I’m sure. It’s tough. You don’t want to get into the habit of losing. You don’t want to develop that kind of mindset. I’ve never had that mindset. Each loss really pisses me off***. It happened so often, but it’s hard to develop an ‘ok, onto the next day’ mindset when it really pisses you off, when you want to win.

Host: At least this year they played you more.

Thom: Yeah, they used me a lot at the end of the year. I really, I found my game in the NHL. I found the optimal place for me, how I see the game, how I think about the game. It clicked.

Host: What was your favorite moment from this year? Not necessarily a goal but like was there a moment there that made you go nice?

Thom: Damn. Umm there’s a lot. Well, at the beginning of the year when we took our team trip to Napa, when I made the team after camp, after I made the team at the beginning of the year, then we took the team trip to Napa. It was my first team trip in the NHL. It was fun. I found it really fun. Ummm, then another moment, another good moment, it was really nice. it was one of those games where I scored twice.

Host: ‘One of’ (laughing).

Thom: No, but it was against Chicago and it was really nice because it was rare this year. It was tough for the fans because of how often we lost and even at the end of the year they showed up. It was really packed. It was a nice feeling, especially at home.

Host: Tell me about the Connor Bedard effect. You’ve played two games against him, right?

Thom: Yeah, two games.

Host: So what’s it like, the Connor Bedard effect?

Thom: It’s crazy. Everyone is already a fan. He’s like the next big thing****, he started with fans, like he already has a fan base. I guess everyone is talking about him, even the journalists.

Host: So, when you see him you want to give him [unintelligible but he does a hand motion like a punch].

Thom: (laughing) No, well, we have lots of friends in common.

Host: You have friends in common? 

Thom: Kent Johnson, who I played with in Michigan.

Host: Ohhhh, true. So you’ve already seen him.

Thom: We’ve crossed paths at NHLPA events and things like that.

Host: There’s going to be rumors, you know. They’re going to say ‘Yo, Tommy B is boys with CB’.

Thom: (laughing) No, no, we’re not boys. 

Host: No, but do you have boys, besides Kent Johnson, that play with you guys, that you play against in the NHL? You know, a lot of the time in basketball you play against someone a little and there’s a respect that develops and he becomes your boy, right?

Thom: Yeahhh, uh, not lately, just because I was moving up and down between the AHL and the NHL.

Host: You were up more than you were down this year, right?

Thom: I didn’t play badly, but I did play more down than I did up. I spent a little over half the season down [in the AHL]. They brought me up just before the deadline. [Unintelligible] playing with all these teams like that. In the AHL, the players, the roster changes so often. It’s really the guys from Quebec that stick together. 

Host: Do you talk to each other very often on the ice?

Thom: Yeah, sometimes. It depends on how you know each other, but there’s even times when you know each other really well but you won’t talk on the ice, just before or after.

Host: In San Jose, you’re the Barracudas?

Thom: Yeah, Barracuda. Yeah. It’s a really good place for the AHL. A new arena, a new dressing room. Listen, for me, the jerseys are good quality, everything is beautiful.

Host: Did you keep a jersey? Did you keep a Barracuda jersey?

Thom: I have a couple, I think.

Host: So you went to Napa, and you also played in the opening game.

Thom: It was a good moment, the opening game. 

Host: They said your name!

Thom: It was nice. My first opening game in the NHL. It was really cool.

Host: What do you say, [unintelligible] up in the NHL?

Thom: Uhhhh yes. Yes, but it’s just… It was the first time that I really did that up in the NHL and I want to appreciate it as much as possible.

Host: Were you able to sleep before the opening game?

Thom: Yeah, yeah I had a nap, yeah. Each game day I take a nap. We had a morning skate that morning, after that I went back to our house. I made myself eat. A lot of the time I’ll do normatec^, like I do a lot of things for my legs, just for recovery things for my legs, then I make myself eat. Just pasta all the time before I go to sleep.

Host: The same thing?

Thom: Bolognese. All the time.

Host: All the time?

Thom: Spaghetti Bolognese.

Host: You eat that before going to sleep, bro? That’s the sort of thing my coach told me never to do in gym class. Here comes Kev, you’re already a fat fu-

Thom: It’s a forty minute nap. 

Host: A forty minute nap?! [He says something about 20 minutes that I can't make out because they're talking over each other]

Thom: Quick, quick, quick. 45 is perfect for me.

Host: Now we know the demands of the NHL. Pasta and then sleep!

Thom: No, but everyone sleeps before they eat. Everyone has a pre-game meal in the NHL. I’ve done it ever since I came to the NHL.

Host: Oh, yeah?

Thom: Like, the pre-game meal is at one in the afternoon, two in the afternoon. You eat, you take your nap, you have a snack.

Host: Do you have a place far away from the arena or are you close?

Thom: Close. Just beside it. I live downtown. Right there in the middle of it. 

Host: Are there guys who stay there because they live too far away?

Thom: Where? At the arena?

Host: Yeah.

Thom: Oh, no, no. Morning skate is over at ten in the morning and we don’t have to be there for the game until 4:35.

Host: So your favorite game was the first game, but you had two goals against Chicago and then who else?

Thom: Ottawa.

Host: Ohhh, but Ottawa… [trails off with the implication that he thinks that Ottawa won the game].

Thom: Oh but us (starts laughing).

Host: (laughing harder) 

Thom: Like, we really played well that game, like we were good in that one^^.

[talking over each other]

Host: My guy said ‘us’. (lots of laughing) What song would you choose to put over your goal highlights when you put them on insta reels?

Thom: Damn. Right now-

Host: Not Like Us, by Kendrick Lamar. Yes!

Thom: (laughs) One of Wun.

Host: What’s that, One of Wun?

Thom: From Gunna’s new album.

Host: Oh.

Thom: Mmm-hm.

Host: Oh, yeah?

Thom: Mm-hm.

Host: Okay. That’s not North Carolina. [I think he’s trying to reference earlier when they were talking about South Carolina].

Thom: Nope. Not at all. Not at all. It’s far away.

Host: (mimes playing a banjo) Dinga-linga-a-ling, dinga-ling-a-long. Banjo! 

[both giggling]

Host: So, do you celly? When you-

Thom: I could but no. I don’t really do a big celly.

Host: You do the- (badly mimes the heart breaker celly)

Thom: Not really, no.

Host: Who does that one?

Thom: Kane.

Host: Ohh, it’s Patrick Kane who does it.

Thom: Yeah, the heart breaker (mimes the heart breaker celly very small).

Host: Yeah. Ohhhh, you know the name?

Thom: Yeah, you make the heart and then you break it after. (mimes the heart breaker celly).

Host: It’s a heart, bro?

Thom: Heart breaker. (mimes the heart breaker celly).

Host: I thought he was swimming!

Thom: No, no, no, no.

Host: I swear to you, no one knows that.

Thom: Well, that’s what it is. The celly is called the heart breaker.

Host: That’s a team USA thing.

Thom: Everyone who plays hockey knows about it.

Host: (to the producer) Bro, did you know about that? No one knows that it’s called the heart breaker.

Thom: Wow.

Host: We’re going to put that on tiktok. Who knew it was the heart breaker? What’s your favorite celly?

Thom: The heart breaker is beautiful. I’ve never done it but I think it’s great. When someone does it, it’s hockey. But it’s Kane who came up with it.

Host: Oh, he came up with it?

Thom: [He says something about Kane and showtime that I cannot make out]

Host: I like it when you jump. When you jump in your cellies, it’s nice. It makes for good photos. But do you guys celly after every goal?

Thom: A lot of the time I lift up one leg or go to my knees.

Host: Ok, that’s a celly. When someone scores and doesn’t even raise their arms, I’m like, man why don’t you, it’s fucking difficult in the NHL.

Thom: Yeah. Sometimes I do that, but it also depends on the goal and the game.

Host: Even if it’s 10 to 1-

Thom: I guarantee you when Edmonton was beating us 6 to 0 and we scored, I did not celebrate much.

Host: Ok. Are you satisfied with your season? What’s your evaluation? Your first real season.

Thom: My second. For the first one, I spent the majority of the year in the AHL. That was my first real pro season. 

Host: So it’s your third year?

Thom: My second full year. My second year that I finished. So I burned that first year when I signed after Michigan and played some NHL games and then after summer.

Host: Oh, it was games at the end of the year.

Thom: Yeah. Games at the end of the year.

(Both laugh)

Thom: Prime time! Prime time!

(they toast with their mugs)

Host: [He says something in English but I can not understand him] (pointing at Thom) He has good people giving him advice! He burned a game!

Thom: No, well, when you sign your contract after you’re 20 and you play a game in the NHL you burn a year.

Host: Mmmm.

Thom: But if you sign before you’re twenty, it’s ten games.

Host: Oh, so you did ten games.

Thom: No, for me it was one game.

Host: Yo, that’s crazy bro. I need your agent in my life, man.

Thom: Pat Brisson. Shout out.

Host: Yo, shout out Pat. Okay, there are lots of comedians who listen. Do you have some advice for them, because I have a problem with you. You, you’re so chill until the third period and then you go crazy. You go crazy! If there’s only 5 minutes left, we’re still sitting on the bench because we can’t play without you. What advice do you have, not for me, because I have a good shot like Antony Duclair, but if you had one piece of advice to give, what would it be?

Thom: Find… umm… the spot on the bench that’s the most comfortable.

Host: (shocked laughter) WOW.

Thom: I’m sorry. (big laughter)

Host: WOW. You there on the ice, such trash talk.

Thom: No no no. (laughing)

Host: It’s impossible. It’s impossible that you don’t trash talk. First of all at Michigan, you trash talked.

Thom: Oh totally.

(both laughing)

Host: Ok. Ok there. We’ve got to be PG, but what is your best trash talk? Your best PG trash talk?

Thom: The best trash talk was our student section at Michigan. They’d look for the families of the players, and they’d get their pictures and social media, ex girlfriends, tinder profiles, all of that.

Host: Shit. You dodged the question by saying that.

Thom: (laughter)

Host: It’s good, it’s good, it’s good. You’re nasty, man.

Thom: PR trained.

Host: You’re nasty. That’s how- no one was talking about it when you came into the league. You explained that it’s not a big deal, but after that, after three years, how do you manage the PR and all of that?

Thom: Uh, well for me, I’ve been lucky with my agent, Pat Brisson. The year before the draft, he had a camp in L.A. We did a practice draft. He made us watch a practice about the news about new supplements and then someone caused a concussion and at the same time-

Host: I caused a concussion..

Thom: (laughs) And at the same time there was an actor from Grown Ups-

Host: Oh yeah?

Thom: -who did our PR training about how to like, show your personality, without putting yourself in a bad spot. He prepared us really well. And then there was a little bit about how to do social media.

Host: It’s not a big deal but that’s not what Jean Sebastian [Dea] said. [Jean-Sebastian Dea's NHL contract was terminated shortly after he appeared on the Sans Restrictions podcast].

[both laughing]

Thom: No comment.

Host: I’m the only one that’s going to lose his job after this podcast. (laughing) Oh man. Okay. It’s true [unintelligible] after the podcast.

Thom: I don’t know about that, but I’ll be surprised if that’s what happens.

Host: Bro, man, [Jean-Sebastian Dea] texted, bro bro [Dea] goes all out for the podcast, okay? Then me, each time I feel like going all out-

Thom: Did you fact check it?

[I’m omitting like three sentences here that make no sense to me]

Host: He came on the podcast.

Thom: He came on the podcast at Christmas?

Host: No at the end of the year. The end of the year. Anyways, he said things, bro. I said what am I going to do with you, man. I said to Bruno [the producer], can we do that? Is that something we can put out? And he said yeah, we can put that out, so I did it and he lost his job. I felt so bad. They said terminated or whatever. I felt bad. I panicked. I texted him, not at the beginning, I texted him two days later, I said yo, my bad, man, he said no, it is what it is, I wanted it. I wanted to sign with the KHL. I said Man, fuck this mother fucker, man. I couldn’t sleep!

Thom: I felt bad!

Host: I couldn’t sleep, bro! But he comes on the pod all the time. He’s welcome to go all out on the pod, the Russians don’t blink, you can say whatever you want^^^. Ok, so what’s been the hardest thing for you right now during your transition from your first year as a pro to your second year? What was the hardest thing, apart from losing 10 to 1?

Thom: Getting sent down to the AHL in my second year.

Host: Oof.

Thom: Yeah, that felt bad.

Host: Did they call you? (mimes putting a phone up to his ear)

Thom: No, it was- At training camp, I made the team, and then I played, mm (he’s counting in his head) eight games? Nine games?

Host: But that went well, didn’t it?

Thom: Personally, I thought it did, but we went zero for ten in the first ten games.

Host: (giggling).

Thom: Something had to give. But you know, obviously, I was the youngest on the team, besides Eklund. And it was me, then Eklund. They wanted me to go back to the AHL. They called me on a road trip that was like seven games, which is a long time to be on the road. We went from California to Florida with stops in Nashville, the Hurricanes, all that. We were on game seven of the road trip and there was a rest day after game six, but before the morning of game seven, at the hotel, the GM called me and came and met me in the lobby. I’d been in the middle of taking a walk, because when we stay in Washington, it’s really beautiful in Georgetown, like around the Four Seasons. It’s really cute. So I was taking a walk, and I was like 15 minutes away from the hotel and he called me and I turned right around and I had a 15 minute walk back and I called my dad because I was sure they were going to send me down. They had just scratched me the game before. I played like 6 games, then I was scratched, then they put me back in the line up for two games, then my last game in the NHL before they sent me down, I remember it was against the Tampa Bay Lightning, we lost, like 8-0. We were more dominated than the game where we lost 10-1. It was horrible. I can’t remember anything except for one zone exit. I think that for me, that was a traumatic NHL game.

Host: He was traumatized!

Thom: One of the things that made me like that, [the zone exit] didn’t bother me until they sent me down.

Host: But that’s crazy, you didn’t have a chance-

Thom: Oh, no, no. Not at all, they tried things-

Host: But that’s not what you told yourself because, for me-

Thom: There was nothing to do, I was just trying to grind it out.

Host: I coach soccer. When the other team drives the ball to us there’s a moment where someone gotta do something.

Thom: Yeah, but…

Host: Hey. Hey.

Thom: But we didn’t necessarily have the tools to-

Host: There wasn’t someone to do something. 

Thom: We had Hertl, who did everything for us, but-

Host: Yeah, yeah, but he was all alone.

Thom: Yeah, and Couture was injured the entire season. He had a rough year, unfortunately. He came back for seven games. The seven best games for the Sharks by far. He’s a big piece.

Host: His impact is crazy.

Thom: He’s incredible, a great guy. The best dude ever. He’s really [unintelligible] you can’t replace him. He’s just there to help. He’s like another coach. If you have a question about anything you can ask him and he’ll answer you. He’s my go to when I have a question about anything, it’s him that I ask. He gives me an answer every time with pleasure. He really comes in clutch.

Host: Ok. You lost 8 to 0 and you were at the Four Seasons…

Thom: Yeah, 8-0 and we were at the Four Seasons, I took my walk and they called me, and when I got back then they started talking to me, and I said I think I know where this is going, eh they said unfortunately-

Host: That’s how they welcomed you?

Thom: Well, you know. I didn’t want… I didn’t want… There were other, really good players in the NHL, it’s a tough league. I didn’t want to seem like I had a bad attitude especially because I wanted them to call me back up as fast as possible. Just like, I wanted to play in the AHL and play good minutes, the power play, 5 on 5, and I did that, and when they called me back up to the NHL I wasn’t sent down again because at the end of the season I was playing my best hockey.

Host: And how did they announce that you were being called up again?

Thom: My AHL coach called me and told me, yeah you’ve been called up, you’ll practice with the others tomorrow.

Host: Ok, but talk to me about how it felt! When you were sent down you went from taking the jet to taking the bus.

Thom: Yeah. Yeah.

Host: What takes 2 hours in the NHL takes 12 hours in the AHL.

Thom: Exactly, yeah. It wasn’t that bad but my back did hurt.

Host: So they called you and told you you’re going back to the NHL. How did you react?

Thom: Ah. I was miserable because it was late at night and I just wanted to go back to bed, so I was miserable, but then they told me and I was really excited. And then I didn’t want to go back to bed because I, like, wanted to enjoy it as much as possible before going to bed because I knew as soon as I woke up in the morning it would be like boom business, so I went to bed trying to savor it.

Host: (pretending he’s Thom) Yay! They called me up! [unintelligible]

Thom: Yeah. You switch to a different mode. You enjoy each day. I spent a lot of time with the boys, all of them, even the older guys. It was good to see them again.

Host: So how does like, you’re the smallest one there, right?

Thom: Mmm hmm.

Host: You play like (gestures and makes zooming noise). I have season tickets for the Rocket [the Canadiens AHL affiliate]. Jesus Christ, those guys don’t look where they’re going. I said to Jean-Phillipe Vautier at the celebrity game when he landed a big hit on me, you saw that?

Thom: No.

Host: When he hit me?

Thom: Oh yeah, I think I did see that.

Host: He laid me out, I was like disrespect.

Thom: Me, I’m lucky. I have a guy called Bokondji Imama who changed division.

Host: Oh! You played with Boko?

Thom: Well, I played against him in the AHL.

Host: You played against Boko? Toughhhhh. Was Boko still there when you got sent back down?

Thom: (laughing) Oh, Boko, he’s my boy.

Host: he said, ohh, Boko he doesn’t fuck with me.

Thom: I hope. [unintelligible because he’s laughing so hard]

Host: I know that Boko switches.

Thom: Oh yeah, you see it. Alright, I remember looking for someone else and then, next thing you know, he’s suspended for three games. Damn. Boko’s a different beast.

Host: The toughest guy that I’ve ever met is Boko Imama.

Thom: He skates really fast, he’s the whole package. Shout out Boko Imama.

Host: I saw him at a Rockets game and he was punching guys. Everyone was like eh I’m good. He was pulling on their jerseys like this (pulls the collar of his shirt away from his body). I’m good, I’m good. You’ve never fought, right? You’ve never dropped gloves?

Thom: Me? No, never. I’ve never fought.

Host: You don’t have the taste for it? What’s the closest you’ve ever been to fighting?

Thom: Ah, uhh, there was a moment in the AHL during a back to back where I threw a punch but I didn’t finish it.

Host: It’s what you’ve got to do. I don’t want you to fight because it’s dangerous. (Looks to the camera, pointing) [unintelligible] you ain’t doing this shit. (back to Thom) But you’re capable and say you’re on a team and everyone is squaring off with someone, ok?

Thom: (barely holding back laughter)

Host: Do you look for the smallest guy? Do you scan the crowd or is it really-

Thom: It’s really- It’s the closest guy and if the closest guy is the biggest, you’re like fuck. If the closest guy is the biggest one I just try to keep- I just try to-

Host: What do you guys say to each other when you’re squaring off like that? Like, yo, We’re not the same weight class. You’re heavyweight, I’m lightweight. Do you say, 'it’s not my problem, it’s not your problem, we good? We good'.

Thom: A lot of the time, a lot of the time it’s like that, except for when the other guy did something cheap.

Host: Right, except for that.

Thom: Then there’s no choice. But like if a guy comes out of the penalty box, for something like a back check [laughing too much for me to understand him] (makes a fist and mimes punching someone)

Host: I have a concussion guys! Zach Patterson gave me a concussion. Ok ok. So the AHL, is it, I won’t say easier because there are people who don’t give full respect to the league, but-

Thom: It’s harder.

Host: Yeah. Oh It’s harder, eh? A guy like you has a good way of seeing things. You have good hands. Do you feel like you have more of a place in the NHL than the AHL?

Thom: A little. In a sense, yes just because there’s more finesse in the NHL. In the AHL I’m not a playmaker, I don’t decide games, whatever. There’s less control, it’s just less of a league, but at the same time, there’s enough skills guys on each team, it’s a very good league, but it’s a war every game. Fist after fist.

[someone off screen says something]

Host: You won’t watch AHL games?

Thom: It’s scary.

Host: Oh yeah, it’s more scary.

Thom: Yeah.

Host: Even when I watch the boys play, I text them during the game. (points towards the camera) Yo, by the way, if you play professionally, and you text me back while you’re playing you are a vagabond, ok? 

Thom: Yeah that’s weird.

Host: Yo there are so many guys. Yeah! You don’t do that in San Jose?

Thom: No.

Host: You better not.

Thom: (laughter) Put your phone away for the whole period.

Host: I won’t say who it was. I’m not going to snitch, but there was a guy who was texting me for two periods, who is in the NHL, during a very important game. I was working and then I saw a text from him and I was like, are you insane? And then he stopped responding. Do you get on your phone [during a game]?

Thom: No, but there are guys who listen to music on their phone, but no one is like texting (mimes holding a phone in front of him). Maybe sometimes there’s a guy who’s checked out of the game because he wants to text someone.

Host: Oh, huh. Are you going to go to Michigan?

Thom: No, but I went back at the end of last summer. It was really nice to skate with them, they’re a good group to skate with. I’m going to go back before the end of the year.

Host: But you’re not going for a game, for a presentation or anything like that?

Thom: No. No. Michigan, the regionals are in Saint Louis.

Host: Oh, yeah, I saw that.

Thom: We won against North Dakota.

Host: You won a national championship, right?

Thom: No.

[talking over each other- I can't make out what they're saying]

Thom: We lost the frozen four. Yeah. Tough game. One and done man. Tough game. All our season for one game, man.

Host: With all the talent you guys had?

Thom: Yeah.

Host: When you went back to the room and looked around you at all the talent-

Thom: Yeah.

Host: -did you say the fuck happened?

Thom: There were a lot of things expressed in that dressing room by the players there, unfortunately.

[both laughing]

Host: Yes! This is just for me. This is my overtime. What are you watching at the moment to relax?

Thom: I started-

Host: Rookie?

Thom: Alice in Borderland.

Host: What’s that?

Thom: (asking someone off screen) It’s what, Chinese? It’s like, like the same type of thing as Squid Games, but different.

Host: Would you do the Squid Games?

Thom: No, are you insane? It’s too much up to chance.

Host: But the game show version, would you do that?

Thom: Oh, the fake one? Oh yeah, well sure, I would do that. Will there be a Squid Games Quebec?

Host: Don’t give them the idea, man. They’re always looking for ideas. They have 100 USD hidden, what game do you think, without a team, which game could you do?

Thom: I’m trying to remember what the games were.

Host: There’s marbles, the one where you lick a cookie, there’s the, uhh, ice that you have to jump.

Thom: For me, I think the cookie one, or the first one where you have to turn around.

Host: Oh yeah.

Thom: It’s easy.

Host: Really, the cookie one?

Thom: Yeah, the cookie one.

Host: You’re not meticulous enough for that bro.

Thom: I’ll manage.

[both laughing. The host stands up and doubles over]

Thom: I have a wet mouth.

[both laughing more]

Host: Wooo. The podcast is almost over. The podcast is over, huh? Oh shit. I try to talk about business, because that’s what the podcast is for, but I also try to discover the person.

[Both of them laughing too hard to talk]

Host: You can’t make this shit up.

Thom: (takes a sip of water)

Host: I’m trying to reflect. I’m in a wedding, ok? (starts laughing again because Thom looks at him) Hold on, I’m trying to tell you. I’m in a wedding, and it’s all the same people together, and I’m in their wedding and at their wedding they have so many hockey players and I didn’t really know what was happening in the conversation but they explained to me, you know do your thing. Come on, Kev, do your thing, and after that I had 20 pros who were coaching me. Bro.

Thom: Like uncles.

Host: Best moment of my life. Best moment of my life. So I took their advice, you understand? It was theoretical, it was practical, right?

Thom: Yes.

Host: I did my thing, bro.

Thom: So you’re a pro now, or?

Host: No, no, no. My lady and me. She did my thing, bro. It was totally crazy. I woke up and I went to hide in the bathroom, and I texted my people like ‘yo, that worked!’

Thom: No way.

Host: Bro, since that day, bro, my game is at another level bro.

[both laughing]

[both talking over one another]

Host: (pointing at someone offscreen) You go out there (pointing at the door) and I’ll tell you (looking at Thom) something after.

Thom: Okay, okay.

Host: Okay, to finish, if they made a movie out of your life, what type of movie would it be? A romantic comedy, a thriller, what type of movie would it be and who would play you?

Thom: Damn.

Host: And don’t say Tom Holland, you’re too beefy for Tom Holland.

Thom: I don’t know, Tom Holland is pretty beefy.

Host: He goes to the gym?

Thom: Yeah, have you seen him?

Host: Tom Holland does not go to the gym.

Thom: He goes in Spiderman.

Host: Bro, that’s the wish version of Spiderman.

Thom: [unintelligible] Spiderman.

Host: Tobey McGuire is Spiderman bro. What are you talking about? I watched Endgame.

Thom: I have a special love for Tony Stark. I don’t know why, because Spiderman [unintelligible] Tony Stark.

Host: Really, Tony Stark?

Thom: Yeah.

Host: Really?

Thom: Yeah. Iron Man is just a different breed, different aura.

Host: Iron Man’s a little bit of a bitch.

Thom: You think so?

Host: Out of all the superheroes he’s the least powerful.

Thom: The least powerful?!

Host: Bro, he’s a robot.

Thom: But at the end- did you watch the movies? It’s because of him that everything works out! 

Host: It might be because of him that everything works out but-

Thom: The technology is insane. Insane.

Host: Alright, moving on.

Thom: He was able to beat Hulk.

Host: Hulk? Hulk isn’t that strong by himself.

Thom: Iron Man isn’t in the same division as the ones that can change reality-

Host: Oh those are whack, those are whack, man, Dr. Strange is a bitch, the day he’s not happy with the way things are he fucks off. The best one is Black Panther.

Thom: Dope. Dope.

Host: Wakanda! My king!

Thom: (into the camera) RIP. RIP.

Host: Ok so who would play you in the movie?

Thom: What type of movie?

Host: Clearly it would be a superhero movie.

Thom: Oh well, maybe. [unintelligible]

Host: [laughing too much for me to understand him]. Ok, so who would play you?

Thom: Who would play me? Uh, I like…

Host: (pointing at someone off screen) Help him.

Thom: The guy that played Harvey Spector, but like in a comedy movie.

Host: Harvey?

Thom: Harvey Spector.

Host: That guy is like 45.

Thom: You want someone that’s my age?

Host: Oh no, but I didn’t expect to hear ‘Harvey Spector’.

Thom: Okay but I don’t know actors that are my age. I think, in the world, like-

Host: Harvey Spector could work.

Thom: Yeah, I think for an adult me.

Host: Like a future you?

Thom: Yeah.

Host: And what would the title of your book be?

Thom: The title of my book? Damn. 

Host: I wrote a book, you know.

Thom: Oh really?

Host: I wrote a real book.

Thom: Nice. Is it good?

Host: This book is insane.

Thom: What’s it about?

Host: I can’t say.

Thom: Oh, so it’s not out yet. I’m sure I would have seen it otherwise. You made me think I missed it.

Host: Have you seen the Stanley Cup?

Thom: Seen?

Host: Yeah.

Thom: In my life, I think, yes? But I was young. As for my book, I’d call it bwater^^^^.

Host: bwater?

Thom: (holds up his glass of water) Bwater.

Host: Be water?

Thom: Be water. 

Host: Why?

Thom: Adapt. Change form according to your container.

Host: That’s fucking nice. Bwater I like that.

Thom: With a little b-

Host: Like a type of water? That’s great.

Thom: Marketing.

Host: Marketing, yo bwater. That’s a classic, you take off your jersey and underneath (he mimes opening up his shirt) bwater. Okay, last thing. Why are you wearing that hat? Are you a 49’ers fan?

Thom: Yeah, in San Francisco, San Jose-

Host: But are you a fan of the team?

Thom: Of course. I went to two games this year.

Host: A fan of the team for real?

Thom: Yeah.

Host: Y’all like to lose, huh?

Thom:  (laughter) It was a strong year for them.

Host: A strong year?

Thom: We’re doing good over here.

Host: You had two super bowls but you’re not in the Stanley Cup finals, you understand, so what are your extension requirements.

Thom: I remember we watched [the Superbowl] live in a restaurant as a team. We watched the TV like (leans forward and stares, eyes wide) what’s happening. I didn’t come back after they lost like that. But shout out to their insane season.

Host: Have you already told the guys on the team?

Thom: I haven’t said anything. I’ve seen Deebo [Samuel] at a shopping mall.

Host: You just crossed paths?

Thom: Yeah. He had shopping bags. He was with someone else.

Host: Did you say ‘What’s up’ to Deebo?

Thom: No, I didn’t say ‘What’s up’ to Deebo at that time. He was on a mission.

Host: In and out. (Laughter). I pass through that neighborhood sometimes.

Thom: Oh really?

Host: There’s [an In-N-Out Burger] in Montreal, did you know?

Thom: Is it uptown?

Host: No, it’s like, on Mansfield. There’s one over there.

Thom: But, no. The guys on the 49’ers I don’t know where they live, because the stadium is ten minutes from San Jose. It’s not in San Fransisco. 

Host: I don’t know where the guys are, but the stadium is insane, for example-

Thom: The stadium is sick but it’s ten minutes from San Jose, so it’s 35 minutes from San Francisco, you know?

Host: Have you had any other encounters with celebrities during the season?

Thom: During the season? Who have I met… (thinking)

Host: You don’t have a lot of celebrities in San Jose.

Thom: Uhhh, no we don’t have a lot in San Jose. At times at games we’ve had a couple.

Host: [something about Montreal]

Thom: We only come to Montreal once a year.

Host: Oh poor guy.

Thom: We come in the night before a game, maybe like 1 am and after we play, we leave.

Host: Tommy B?

Thom: Yo.

Host: Thanks a lot for coming on the pod. Do your thing. Off season. There’s no reason to work too hard.

Thom: Yes sir.

Host: Don’t say anything (turning towards the camera) PAY THE MAN.

Thom: (giggles)

Host: PAY. THE. MAN. Put the cash in his account! That’s all I’m asking! Lots and lots of cash! Alright. Pay the man.

Thom: Help your employee.

Host: (laughter) Help your employee. I said not to say anything and you say ‘help your employee’. [unintelligible] the poor thing. Shit.

Notes: *I'm not sure what La Valle is, or if I'm spelling it right. **I'm not sure how to translate this because I'm not familiar with golf terminology in English. ***The french phrase I’m translating as ‘pisses me off’ literally translates to ‘makes me shit myself’. Just a little french lesson for you guys. ****Thom said ‘le nouveau Kid’ like referencing Sid the Kid but translating it to ‘the new kid’ has different connotations in English than it did in French. ^a type of compression therapy ^^The score of the game that Thom is talking about was San Jose 2, Ottawa 1. Thom scored both of San Jose’s goals. ^^^The host is probably unaware but Dea’s KHL contract had already been terminated by the airing of this podcast. ^^^^This is probably a pun. L’eau is the French word for water, like in Bordeleau.

[gayashawol]

𝕚𝕕𝕜 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪

ships: niko omilana x aj shabeel (featuring sharky)

genre: smut, a lil bit of fluff

word count: +1500 words

content warning(s): sex, gay sex (you know what it is in this blog), aggressive sex, jealousy, usage of the word “daddy” and “bitch” (only once i believe), idk what else lmao

author’s notes: this is my first beta squad story so excuse my french if they aren’t portrayed the way y’all want them to be. i have watched niko omilana since 2018 but never would’ve thought there would be people that shipped them together lmaoooo this was requested by a friend of mine. hope you guys enjoy!

It was around six past ten, and the sun was still shining through the window. AJ was on the bed, scrolling mindlessly on Instagram for hours on end. He has forgotten the concept of time, including the current time that it was. Before he could think about getting out, he could hear a loud slam from what seems to be from downstairs, alerting him that his beloved boyfriend Niko has just arrived and he would not be as beloved due to the rage he could make out.

Once everything calmed down, a soft part of AJ came out. Maybe he was having a bad day at work? Maybe somebody upset him? He has never seen him as this aggressive. He was always the chilled back guy who had everything under control. Maybe he just needed some reassurance from the guy he saw as “his cutie” and they could make love to forget about it.

Well, he didn’t need to make that decision since Niko was already outside his door thinking about kicking the door down. Instead, he politely knocked and waited for him to come out. He was very hesitant, but he managed to gather the confidence to slowly open up, just for his arm to pull him away and swing the door open.

He just nodded, glazing at the scared boyfriend, before pushing him against a wall, touching lips with him. AJ being confused and concerned, he follows through and obeys the taller male. Niko knew he wanted to get onto him for taking his hoodies once again even though he has plenty more in his closet, but all he wanted to do was humiliate him in the best way possible – ripping him off from the very thing that was keeping him from getting exposed. But he just didn’t care at all.

He knew that AJ never wears anything under, so he took the time to caress his ass, before taking off his hoodie from the hem, leaving him completely bare while Niko was clothed. He wanted to burst up in laughter, but he just couldn’t feel anything – nothing at all. In fact, the feeling of removing his belt and seeing how his face changes from looking relieved to horrified within a second. He knew he must behave, and so stuck his ass onto his daddy’s direction.

He placed his arm in action, and a loud smack onto AJ’s skin could be heard. He could feel the harsh cold coming from the belt before it became warm enough that he could feel it burning. It went on for a while, and he wailed in pain every single time.

Soon, his ass started to turn a clear red, and Niko finally had some empathy to stop that madness from happening even more – oh so AJ thought, as he saw the equipment coming out from the closet and knew that it was going to be a long night for the two.

Every single weapon was played right in front of him as a cruel punishment by the taller male, seeing one of the ones he didn’t want to use get picked up and panicking if he does so. After being tired of his act, Niko placed a blindfold onto AJ and tightly wrapped it around his eyes so he couldn’t remove it.

Alas, he picks up a sort of feather that Niko was purposefully using to tickle him with, only to be met with harsh spanks every time he steps out of line. He hated how nasty his boyfriend was treating him, but a part of him feels like he knows why and would gladly take himself down for it.

As he started to feel remorse, which would be not moving around or crying in pain, Niko decides to put down the whips and the flannels and place it back onto the closet. Finally, AJ has a peace of mind, or does he? He was craving for touch, any sort of touch. Even if it was cruel, or out of love. He wanted it to come out of Niko, and only Niko.

It was when he felt something going inside of his ass. He knew it was his finger, and a part of him was still rather concerned but what wasn’t there to worry about Niko. Like always, carried on tolerating it and went with it – seeing where it would go.

He heard a sound of an iPhone recording before his fingers went deeper and right where the prostate was located. He felt a rush of pleasure, begging him not to stop. It went on for a while, but Niko eventually got another finger inside to use his hole with. But not only he went there, but he even went further down where his tip would land at.

It took him a while, but Niko stood up and undressed, spreading his clothes to the floor as he steps onto the bed. He lubricated and insert his cock inside of AJ, before moving deeper inside and pushing through him until his entire dick sunk.

Niko pulled onto AJ’s curls, hearing his muffled moans as allthe sensations flowing through his body. He wasn’t completely used to Niko’s cock, but he quickly adapted this once and sucked it up, giving him a tearful fuck while trying his hardest not to moan too loudly due to neighbours around.

Unbeknownst to them, someone has just walked into the house and was making their way upstairs. It was already too late for them to react, as Sharky has already came inside and saw their bare asses in display.

“Hey, I couldn’t mind your sandwich so I got you a BLT-” He paused upon his reaction of seeing the two men. “Did I come here at the wrong time?”

Three of the men were looking at each other, not sure who was going to say anything. Sharky raised his finger up, thinking of any possible excuses to leave, including looking around the room or looking at the hallway right in front of him.

“I-I’m going to Tesco… to get… milk-”

“Join.” Niko finally spoke after what seemed to be forever. AJ didn’t seem to be pleased, even though he has been willing to hear his voice after all this unexplained suffering he had to go through. Something didn’t make sense to him, and he wanted to get to the bottom of it.

AJ turned around, facing the two of them. He was shaking, yet he knew something was coming. He was seeing him as well as being with Niko, and that could be the reason for his unusual behaviour. He gulped, thinking about the worst stuff he was going to make him do, and hoped for something better.

“What the hell are you doing? Pull your trousers down, then!!” He sounded demanding, yet it was something AJ loved from him. Sharky’s cock sprung up aggressively, causing AJ to be mesmerised by sight. Being the good boy he was, he immediately leaned in and went in from the tip, going through the neck up until he went balls deep.

Seeing how far he could go, Niko felt some sort of anger – seeing that he was giving it his all to the guy that he would have to compete with. He soon, threw the shorter man away from his reach before shoving his own cock for him to show off right in front of Sharky. Him not feeling any sort of way, he attempts to leave again – only to get dragged back in for a round of anal.

Niko went back in, and was much more violent. He was back with the whips, alongside a gag so he could use to shush his mouth. Sharky was concerned for the shorter male’s safety, but at the same time aroused. He didn’t know what to feel, whether to feel remorse or guilty. He knew for a fact that he wanted the taste of the cutie boy that was Niko’s bitch. Seeing him weeping and squirming around his spot made him want him more, and seeing his anger explains exactly why there was so much tension in the room.

Sharky went on AJ’s level, removing his gag and began kissing his lips. Niko feeling defensive, he grabbed him from the neck keeping them from a couple inches away. He eventually decided to cover his lips, reassuring him that he wouldn’t make any sound or make love with the “other” guy he was seeing.

Allowing him to use his hole once it was already filled, Sharky used the opportunity to make AJ face him, lifting his legs to place on his shoulders. He was already giving up, but the love was finally there. Niko was still looking mad, even having his arms crossed, but he couldn’t look away and miss his pathetic boyfriend get railed by a guy he would fancy to fuck.

AJ screamed loudly, turning into a moan after a while. Waiting for the moment to become a cumdump for the two of them, he feels the pleasure running through his body one last time until a warm liquid was felt from inside of him, pulling Sharky away from him – which would conclude the session for today.

AJ and Sharky laid together on the bed, holding hand while Niko left the room to do something. They weren’t sure what it was, but it was their moment together where they made out for a bit before AJ peacefully laid on Sharky, waiting for the door to bust open where he would get scolded by the one and only, Niko.

mdni dividers by @cafekitsune (i don’t remember who made the dividers)

[kandadara]

Twyla Appreciation Ramblings

Warning: Long

For as long as I've been into Monster High, Twyla has always been my favorite character. So let's talk about her.

Gen 3 Twyla is confirmed to have autism, as evidenced from her music video, the singer from said video posting it on Instagram who is also autistic, and having an autistic VA (according to IMDB). A lot of autistic people relate to Twyla and I'm glad that neurodivergent conditions such as autism are getting positive representation.

Though, it makes me wonder some things, especially about mental health.

I know this is a kids show, so maybe I'm making this too complicated, but I hope they'll incorporate mental health somehow, especially since this sort of thing affects so many. The subject is a delicate one, but even so, it is still important and shouldn't be stigmatized the way it is in our society.

Getting a little personal, as someone who has severe social anxiety and avoidant personality disorder, plus being on the introverted side, I could also see a lot of myself in Twyla as well and her character resonated within me. I don't know if I have ADHD and/or Autism or not, as there's a long history of me being diagnosed and misdiagnosed with a plethora of things since childhood, so I remain unsure of what all I may have anymore, but one, both, or neither are still possible. With that said, I'm still technically considered neurodivergent as I have OCD, which falls under the neurodivergence umbrella. Regardless, Twyla is a comfort character to me and always will be.

Now back to Twyla...

While this could just be me overanalyzing her character and going into headcanon territory (though let's be real, it's fun), her character is enjoyable for me to write and I love adding depth to her. I could see Twyla also having social anxiety and/or avoidant personality disorder, as she is painfully shy. Even for Gen 3, I could still see this being the case, alongside having autism. These sorts of things can and do co-occur. With that said, I'm no psychology expert, but I do try to do my research before trying to incorporate things like mental health issues and psychology into my writings.

This is all my opinion, but I'll share my take on Gen 1 Twyla, though these could still apply to the Gen 2 and Gen 3 versions of her as well.

The way I see Twyla is she's a shy, sweet, and introverted ghoul who prefers to keep to the shadows, finding solace in solitude. An introspective and contemplative sort that is prone to daydreaming, but has a good intuition nonetheless. She's a peaceful and gentle girl who likes to help people from the shadows, like an invisible ally. She always seemed rather innocent to me and I can see her being idealistic to an extent, thinking very much about what could be, especially in regards to a harmonious future for all monsters and normies alike. Though, deep down, I could imagine she feels a bit lonely and misunderstood, afraid to get close to people for fear of being rejected/judged/hurt and finds social situations difficult, but she still wants someone to understand her sincerest self. According to her profile in Gen 1, her favorite class is psychology, so I imagine she's also a curious type that likes to know the why behind things as it eases her mind and likes to read a bunch on various topics, including history (as seen in Gen 3). In her 13 Wishes diary, it is implied she doesn't entirely accept herself as she refers to herself as "bad" and "terrible", suggesting a struggle with self-confidence and self-esteem. More than anything, I think she wants to be able to be herself and live her truth, but also wants to be loved truly as herself by those closest to her so she feels conflicted at times. I see all this in Twyla and more, I could write plenty more, but I will leave it at this for now.

I feel many people can relate to these things rather well, just like I do.

As an older fan, I'm likely always going to be partial to Gen 1, but I look forward to seeing where this version of Twyla's story goes and how she'll be portrayed. Hope y'all enjoyed reading this post and ramble.

(PS: Unrelated, but the way her hands flap as she's reading those books is just too cute!)

[dearweirdme]

I actually think a lot of Taekookers believe it was him in the video, all of the accounts I follow do. Not long after the video went public there was a Twitter space meeting of Taekookers, and some big accounts hosting it and everyone believed it was him and discussed the whole circus starting from that point. No one was using that to drag him, but I've seen so many people try to argue the other side act like it's insulting to him to even suggest he would participate. Well if someone thinks that, that's their problem to work through. If him participating is a show of bad character to you, YOU work through why you think that. Because I don't, and none of the people I know who believe it was him in the video think that. It's a media play. It's a business deal. There is some pretty compelling evidence the companies already had a plan worked up for this particular fake couple years ago. The Paris walk was actually pulled off brilliantly, and then the whole thing got really weird from there and now we know just sort of fizzled out with some "insider" leaking break-up news with Jennie re-signed and Tae enlisting. But if the purpose was to get people talking (they stirred the pot whenever there was some other big news), and to closet Tae it did its job. The walk was also really the extent of Tae's involvement and he seemed uninterested in giving anything more than the bare minimum needed. Taekook_lives who has been mentioned in the comments on posts about this today released a video not long after the Paris video "debunking" it, but she jumped on the "cosplayer" who tried to claim the whole thing immediately. That "cosplayer" was Akio. They run an Instagram account that is still spreading rumors about Tae. I didn't understand why Taekookers were rushing to hype that account up because I looked at it back in May and they were saying they had been hired to film that video to make Tae's other Parisian ex-girlfriend jealous. It was obvious bs. Taekook_lives is an au writer and has almost every sensible Taekooker on Twitter blocked, she's been around for years and there is plenty of misinformation in her videos. If it wasn't clear, I believe it's Tae in that video. I'll allow for the possibility it was filmed some other time, but his manager is wearing the same clothing he was at the airport when they departed from SK. I believe the Elle magazine was the March issue so it would have had to be sometime between March and May, which is funny because of that Taennope account who tweeted in March that a May Paris date was confirmed. Tae is obviously not happy about anything going on there. The walk next to the river is painfully awkward, very robotic from him. He's not even looking at her. It was obviously a set-up. So they only got blurry video of them together, and I noticed Jennie was actually pretty careful and turning her face away from the cam. Then the only HD pictures we get are of them walking separately with their managers wearing the exact same clothing. It's brilliant, and almost every het K-pop shipper uses the same trick. Maybe they learned a little something from them. Anyway I am glad it's over, and I hope Tae knows that he's got so many supporters who love him and are by his side in all this.

Hi anon!

Yeah, I agree. To me it’s logical that it’s Tae.. celebs and their companies just don’t hire stand-ins for these things. It looks like Tae and Jennie to me.. posture, body language, everything. They had opportunity (timing wise). And they had a clear goal. So I’m really not doubting it.

Taekook-lives and all other accounts (including mine) are all fan accounts. We all deal with the same images and info we just all might differ in interpretation. I never go blindly on any account ‘s opinion, because when watching analysis vids I often come across things I personally disagree with. So when someone says to me “this account says that” or ‘twitter says this” I take that with me, but I still make my own judgements. I might be wrong at times, others might be wrong at times, we all can be right at times.. but there’s no-one out there who probably got it all right.

[alarrytale]

Dear Marte, Nick Bumble PR anon here again. Thanks for the update! You're right, looks like they removed the single part and uploaded it again. They can't keep their story 'straight' for shit lol.

I saw someone posting that Nick said 'I like escape rooms for dates' and one time Austin posted on his Instagram calling Nick his "escape room partner"

I almost can't believe it 😭 they're messing up so bad. I'm scared of what comes next.

Hi, anon!

Lol, yeah Austin and Nick have been to escape rooms plenty of times. I can't believe he said he'd take his date to escape rooms. I wonder how many dates Nick and Austin has had in escape rooms?

At least two that we know of lol.

Idk what Nick is doing with his PR and his image. I find it strange that he's promoting dating apps, it seems a bit z-list for his current fame level. He's a bit all over the place and i have to admit, it's very much a turn off for me. I can't be bothered with him playing coy about his relationship status like this;

Source (cosmopolitan)

He's talked about having a gf in other interviews and teased her on ig? So why this now? He's 30 years old, not 22. I have also never seen anyone bring up their ex-gfs so much and use them as examples, for someone who is supposedly currently in a relationship? It's very strange (well, it's not when you know it's not real).

I'm too old and too tired to be gaslit by another closeted celebrity. What he's saying doesn’t make any sense and i'm caring less and less unfortunatly.

[sapphire-weapon]

Oh, I didn't mean to imply you were ok with what was happening over there and I apologize for that. To be absolutely honest I had opened Instagram to double check something before sending the ask and the literal first thing on my for you page was a Palestinian man carrying the bottom half of what looked to be a ten year old child out of a building... and it wasn't really blurred, so my state of mind was off and I didn't articulate myself correctly. In retrospect I should have held off and gathered myself before saying anything. Or should not have sent the ask at all. Like, I've seen plenty of that type of stuff since October... but I'm always in a bad place when its children, obviously.

And... I guess that's a point I was trying and failing to get to. It's hard to be nuanced and articulate when you keep seeing parents putting pieces of their babies in plastic bags. It's hard to not hate those responsible (or who you perceive as responsible) and everything gets clouded and people can take advantage of that. But its definitely fucking Netanyahu and his cabinet that are responsible. And fucked up individuals (civilian and military).

But not ALL of the people of Israel.

It's impossible for anyone to have a clear head in this situation. No matter the side or point of view. Situation is fucked.

then stop watching it.

and i don't mean to sound cold by saying that, but like... you have to take care of yourself, too. and you can be aware of atrocities committed without having to watch every little gruesome detail that comes out. at some point, it almost becomes snuff porn.

like, my generation went through something similar. i had friends in high school who would watch the videos of americans being beheaded by al'qaeda. and, rather unsurprisingly, they all inevitably ended up in the dick cheney cult of "if you criticize the president, you support the terrorists" and started calling for us to nuke iraq.

and we didn't have tiktok back then. i can't imagine how much worse it is now. back then, my friends had to go out of their way and go digging for those videos. now, they just pop up on your feed uninvited.

but that's kind of how propaganda works. you get bombarded with this over and over again until your views become more and more extreme. you saying:

"It's hard to be nuanced and articulate when you keep seeing parents putting pieces of their babies in plastic bags. It's hard to not hate those responsible (or who you perceive as responsible) and everything gets clouded[.] [...] It's impossible for anyone to have a clear head in this situation."

like, that's the point. that's what the intention is. this is how the nuance gets lost, this is how the rhetoric gets twisted.

be informed. be aware. but don't be consumed. the more you focus on the details, the more the bigger picture gets lost, and hate has room to grow.

and that's kind of what i was saying. the more you do this, the less you care about justice, and the more it becomes about revenge. but hate can't drive out hate.

if hate worked, then there wouldn't be any wars left to fight. but hate only causes more war. our focus needs to be on peace, especially when it's fucking hard.

[thueenz]

have any of u guys seen that cheeseball cat on tiktok/insta?? idk i dont use instagram. this one

i saw them months ago but they popped up again last night on my fyp and i want to talk about them so bad because theyre an occupied object as i like to call them (object with some kind of spirit in them, not to say haunted, just an object with some kind of 'being' or soul to it) and i find it endearing that a cheeseball cat i randomly saw one day is occupied. now we go under readmore

im pulling most of the screenshots from this video because its the one i saw last night so go watch if youre curious and to show the creator some love for their art!

if you have no idea who cheddar is they were not always a cheeseball, the creator bought them and painted them like this originally they looked like THIS

the being in them was present from the time of buying, they stick out like a sore thumb in this image specifically (likely because this is the day of buying and they havent settled into their surroundings at all)

luckily they dont seem to mind the fact that they were painted like a giant cheeseball at all. i cant say every being would take well to that, but if anything, they seem to like it. even if op and the fans on tiktok arent aware theyre 'there', they seem to enjoy the attention they get, and the individual love they have been given in the paint job. to be loved is to be changed or whateva. in all seriousness though they are fine with it, more than fine, which im glad lmao

theres plenty of beings in objects that are discontent with their situation, where the person theyre with either is not aware of them at all, or is misguided in their views towards beings in objects/uncaring/ even scared, but cheddar here seems perfectly happy. while others might shy away from attention, they seem to like the attention tiktok gets them.

i mean, they have their own little pedestal, special gift like baby cats that are custom painted, theyre special and named to the person theyre with, and people on tiktok love them. not a bad life if thats something you like! im really happy they feel so content, i get sad seeing beings that are unhappy on the internet but i cant rlly do anything about those cases so 😭

they really seem to like the person theyre with too, in this frame of them being picked up, their energy softens and brightens and makes my chest feel giddy and affectionate. theyre very cute i adore this cat i would give them a hug if theyd have me

i think they likely have a purpose or magical skill, but i cant pinpoint it further than 'they want to bring good into this persons life', which could cover a raaange of things.

theyre not malicious at all, they seem very content and friendly and i wouldnt feel uncomfortable around them at all in person so no worry of that. a bit intense before settling into their new life, but not bad. sometimes beings are just a bit intense lol. theyre not haunted by any human spirit, i can't say where they came from, or when, but i don't think they were ever 'alive' either animal or human.

i ♥️ cheddar and their sweet little cheese throne

[daintyduck99]

Crush crush! Being asked to take photos, rulie

Everyone jokes that Reggie is the band's Instagram boyfriend for a reason. 

He takes beautiful candid photos, seemingly at random, but the end result is always, as he says, worth it. Or, well. Almost always. It had scared Julie to death when he nearly got run over once, no matter how ethereal Willie looked in the picture Reggie had managed to take. 

He'll do anything for that perfect shot, anything besides stopping in the street after Julie had cried that last time: lay on the floor, crack a joke, even sit on Alex's shoulders or rearrange the furniture. Carlos had been convinced they were being haunted until he saw Reggie do it. 

So yeah. He deserves the title, and he deserves recognition for the beauty he captures, the pure amount of love he manages to filter through every photo. 

The photos he takes of everyone but her. 

Okay, that's not entirely fair. Julie's in plenty of group shots. She's just…not in any of the gorgeous solo candids.

"Am I vain?" she asks Flynn in a fit of desperation, frowning down at the latest picture that she isn't in. "For caring?" 

Flynn wraps her in a hug. "Aw, Jules. I don't think so. Of course you're feeling left out. For what it's worth, though, I'm pretty sure he just can't look right at you." 

She sighs into Flynn's shoulder. "Sure."

"I'm serious! Remember when you wore that new halter wrap bikini? He nearly fell off of the pier. Boy kept his distance so he wouldn't drown and die." 

Julie shakes her head as they unravel, but she can't suppress a smile. 

"There's no way. Reggie's practically part fish, Flynn." 

"He was so flustered, Jules. He would've forgotten how." 

She doesn't quite believe it, but it does prompt her to hatch a plan. 

The next time she sees Reggie, she's wearing a new sundress and a shy smile, along with a complex braid.

He looks like a startled deer. 

She lays her hand on his arm before he can retreat behind his bass, soundly ignoring the bemused looks that Luke and Alex are sending them. 

"Could you do me a favor?" 

A pink flush pools high on his cheeks, and she feels a little bad for putting him on the spot, but then he swallows and says—

"Anything." 

And he says it so lowly and sincerely that sparks dance in the pit of her stomach. 

She looks at him through her lashes. 

"Would you take some pictures? So I can really see what this braid looks like?" 

"Yeah," he breathes, "yeah, of course." 

But he doesn't have that intense shine in his eyes as he aims her phone at her. He doesn't bite his lip, or lay on the ground, or say anything to make her smile or laugh. She eventually turns of her own volition. 

And the photos he took are…fine. 

They're just fine. 

Every time she asks, rinse and repeat. She never gets those photos that glow. 

She's starting to feel just a little unloved. 

It's Flynn, of course, who figures it out. 

"Jules…when's the last time you went through your deleted photos?" 

"Never? You know me," she replies slowly, tracking every astonished twitch of Flynn's face with mounting dread."What is it?" 

Flynn wordlessly passes her the phone. 

Julie's breath catches. 

She swipes through shot after shot, multiple candids of her with Reggie's signature warmth shining through. There's a softness to them that she's never seen before, though, something in the composition and the coloring and the moments he's captured that make her…

Beautiful. Bewitching.

Beloved. 

The next time he sees her, he's wearing that deer in the headlights look again. 

She supposes that's fair. She can count the amount of times that she's stood on his front porch on one hand. 

As soon as he steps through the screen door, though, she launches herself at him, and he stumbles from the force of it, the way she presses him against the house. 

The way she presses him to her heart. 

She tucks her face into the crook of his neck. She tries not to cry. "Reggie." 

"I'm here," he murmurs, rubbing her back. "I'm right here, Julie. What's the matter?" 

"You love me," she says, stubbornly sliding her fingers through his belt loops when he flails, "and you weren't going to tell me." 

His throat clicks. "How—I—how could I?" 

She pulls back to look at him through her slightly tear-clumped lashes. 

"You could've just showed me any of those photos. I was starting to think that I'd done something…that you didn't love me at all, and I must've done something because you love so much. I thought you never took photos of me. It…really hurt."

"Oh, Julie." He presses his lips to her forehead, a soft contrast to the roughness of his voice. "I'm sorry, I never—I only—I love you so much. Too much. I'm in love with you, Julie, and I couldn't hide it. Not unless I kept deleting all my pictures of you. The good ones, anyway." 

She takes a shuddering breath. Tilts her head to meet his eyes and all of the emotions shimmering there, like so many facets of a precious set of gems. 

"I wish you would've said. Reggie, don't you know? You're easy to love. I really, really like you, and I know I could fall in love with you, too. If…if you'll let me." 

"Yeah," he breathes. "Yeah, if you're sure."

When she leans in to press her lips to his, she's never been more sure of anything.

The next photo he posts is one he caught of her, laughing and unaware, as she adjusts her sunhat in the passenger seat. Orange light streams through in an artful flare, and she doesn't hate the way her nose is scrunched, for once. 

@therealreginald: best date w/ the best girl 

@ julie's_butterflies: 💜💜💜

So. Everyone jokes that Reggie is the band's Instagram boyfriend for a reason.

Julie's just glad he's her boyfriend for real.

[rivetgoth]

what do you think of cursedindustrialconfessions on instagram? and other fandom style confession accounts?

personally i don't find much issue with the accounts themselves but some of the comments and confessions are truly cursed 💀

Been sitting on this ask since I woke up trying to figure out why it doesn’t sit right but yk, here— I don’t have any interest in name dropping specific accounts or pages and talking shit on them (OR conversely praising accounts who I think are the "right" kind of fan). I obviously vagued a few specific instances I’ve seen of behavior I found inappropriate from online “industrial fans” in the original post I made but even then kept usernames out of it and even then I was trying to emphasize that all of these are examples of a larger problem, not that One Particular Guy is the harbinger of inappropriate industrial fan behavior lol. I already shared the bulk of my thoughts about “fandomizing” real life musicians and real life music subcultures/communities and my distaste for it, but ultimately every single topic (especially things that are ultimately not life threatening and I’d even go as far as to call a First World Problem) is going to have plenty of nuance and grey area and I think it’s counterproductive and even hypocritical personally for me to start making lists of the Good and Bad industrial fans/pages. That just as much goes against my view of the industrial scene as a community as the stuff I was bitching about to begin with.

I’m honestly a little nervous about the post I made getting a decent amount of notes to begin with because it’s not like I was trying to write the absolute manifesto on Correct or Moral fan behavior, though I think sometimes my posts are mistaken for such because I write a lot and very passionately (sorry), I was just complaining about trends I’ve seen in online industrial music spaces that feel disrespectful or rub me the wrong way, and ultimately was just trying to strongly emphasize that this subculture is an incredibly important real life community for me full of people I absolutely adore and I don’t like seeing the music or the people who make it fandomized or treated like weird quirky characters, with their experiences and traumas not taken seriously. Obviously there is a grey area to any of it, and ultimately I think stuff like memes or jokes about these guys, fan creations ranging from DIY’d clothing to fan art to fan edits to cosplay to whatever else, and even expressing sexual attraction towards them is generally harmless and normal when it’s done respectfully and thoughtfully, keeping in mind these are real people with real traumas, who are not that famous, who can and do look themselves up online and see what’s going on, or have friends who do and then send it to them. Like, I was planning to make that post BEFORE Ogre spoke up about how he was reading comments online about people complaining about the show not being as bloody as prior ones and how it upset him because the older shows were an expression of authentic pain and suffering and even literal self harm and this new show was an intentional movement towards something new and the fact that he’s in a better place in life now… He said that because he saw firsthand what people were saying about him online!

So idk man. But ultimately if you really really want my thoughts? I think any time something is described as “fandom style” in the context of real people or an active real life music subculture all of my hair bristles like a scared animal and my fight or flight response kicks in lol. And I ultimately think that y’all are gonna have to decide for yourselves what you’re okay with rather than ask me, because Lord knows I am not the keeper of all that is objectively right and true. I think some of MY opinions for what is or isn’t okay might actually be more extreme than others (like I said in my previous post—I’m much more neutral on RPF than many I’ve seen, which I think is a controversial take? I just think like anything else there is lots of nuance in that conversation. Idk.), I just encourage anyone calling themselves an industrial fan or viewing it as a fandom to try dipping their toes into an IRL alt music scene and start talking more to old timers and going to shows and clubs and making friends and connections that way with other people who are devoting parts of their life to actively engaging with the community surrounding this music face to face because I think it can very quickly change your perspective for the better and kinda demystify some of the more fandom-y mindsets that these guys are larger than life caricatures to be memed on the same way you would talk about like, Herbert West or Will Graham or whatever.

[starlightiing]

Pierre fans are probably suspicious of you because Esteban's fans turn any negativity for him back on Pierre. Esteban's genuinely wholly at fault for Monaco. He is. Yet Esteban's fans are insisting Pierre needed to disappear into the wall, that he should have reversed to make a gap for Esteban, also that he's lied about team orders being in place and that he's been lying all along and that Alpine have always favored him despite in China, it being Esteban who got those upgrades. Oh and all of Esteban's DNFs are why he lost to Pierre, never mind that Pierre's DNFs were all from points positions versus Esteban's from last place. Esteban's not extroverted and outgoing? We get think posts about how Pierre's bullied him into this. Esteban doesn't like Pierre? We get posts about how Pierre's nasty and vindictive, despite none of his other relationships on the grid indicating this in any way. Esteban's family struggled? Well Pierre's mega rich and also his mother personally stole Esteban's house. It's now that Pierre had to like Esteban's instagram post to save him, or that he should have spoken up for Esteban in the media after Monaco, or that Pierre's interview about Esteban was nasty and throwing him under the bus, or that Pierre has somehow manipulated every person in Alpine into hating Esteban. Oh and "Australia 2023 was miles worse and Esteban miraculously got him off because he's selfless and Pierre is selfish for not getting Este off!" as though Australia wasn't an error and not seeing Esteban which the stewards agreed with, versus Monaco where the penalty was given before Pierre even got out of the car. Pierre fans have had enough. It has been constant. Nothing is ever just about Esteban with them. They have to degrade Pierre to try and make Esteban look better.

I think the same can be said the other way around, unfortunately. I see it happen as well with Pierre fans that Esteban is treated similarly and I have seen some of the most heinous comments ever in my life come out of Pierre fan's mouths.

But I don't like to generalize, even though that is unfortunately what I am doing. I have met plenty of Pierre fans (or even at least just casual ones) who have no issue because they've actually spoken to me and see that I have empathy and accountability for them both.

It is not nice, these things people say about Pierre. I don't see it, really, and I guess I'm glad I don't, because it would make me really sad on Pierre's behalf. I don't think he has to like anyone's posts, I don't think he has to stand up for anyone or anything. It's not a requirement. I am here openly conversing with Pierre fans (which I promise, I am one, I know so desperately a lot of people don't think so but I am) and openly admitting Esteban's fault and openly NOT dragging Gasly through the mud while doing it...and still getting teeth bared at me. And it's okay, I can handle the teeth, I'm glad it's me and not somebody else, but as I like to speak to and get to know the individual, I wish that same grace was extended to me as well.

Both sides of this fight are vicious. Both sides blame each other's boy all the time. Both sides slander each other's boy all the time. I see more of it from each side because I stay nestled somewhere in the middle where I have less tailored and curated takes on my dash and more wild ones from each side. I follow a few Pierre fans who hate Esteban and a few Esteban fans who hate Pierre, and given the nature of who they are and their past and how the fans (generally, not individually) act, yeah it's inevitable that both sides are going to get vicious and testy. And I don't like it from either side. I get defensive of Pierre on the rare occasion I see something slamming him. I genuinely haven't seen all that much lately, nothing too bad anyway, and perhaps that's just on me for not seeing it.

I get being on the defensive for Pierre. That is not a bad thing. You should want to defend him at least a little bit. You like him for a reason. He's a living breathing human being. He should not be viciously slandered either. I would stand up for him just as hard if he made a really stupid fucking move like Esteban did and then received relentless backlash and death threats because of it. Because he's not perfect and people make mistakes and that shouldn't devalue their worth or life or place on this planet.

Pierre should not have disappeared into the wall, that's unrealistic. Esteban was at fault for that incident, you are correct. I said it when it happened, I've been saying it all along, and I still say it now.

I can understand Pierre fans being wary of me on principal, I don't ever fault anyone for that, I just wish maybe some day one might talk to me and understand I'm not the monster they might think I am, and that I would also pull out as many daggers for him as I do for Esteban. I don't think either of them are bad people and most of the things people hate each of them for is fan-created bullshit, in my honest opinion, not anything either of them have actually done.