#look at the kid's life and how are you not like... Dude

[needsmoreresearch]

One of the most immediately and directly vulnerable populations in the US right now is and will be immigrants without citizenship. Undocumented people in particular, but also anyone in the asylum process or with any kind of fragility to their legal status. We don't know yet how far that "fragility" will extend once Trump takes office: a green card should protect people from deportation but it wouldn't surprise me to see challenges.

The asylum process is one of the very few legal pathways to enter the US or to remain in the US if you are in danger of deportation. However, asylum seekers are not automatically appointed a legal representative. There's no public defender system for this. And without a lawyer people are more likely to face family separation, unnecessary detention, and deportation. This is...a pit of human suffering, frankly, that no one deserves.

If you are looking for ways to help, search around a bit for organizations near you that provide free immigration legal assistance. Here's an example near me: The Legal Project. They also provide free legal assistance with domestic violence, affordable housing, elder abuse, human trafficking, and many other situations where people are trapped for lack of free legal aid.

Even small amounts of money help! They may have clinic days when volunteers without any legal knowledge can still make a big difference. Heck, if you don't know how to find and contact an organization like this near you, I will help you. Contact me and I can at least get you started on the preliminary footwork.

You can also consider helping--with money or volunteer time--organizations that work at the US border. Currently many people approaching the border are summarily turned away without being permitted to apply for asylum. People who are deported may be dropped off without any help finding shelter. My boss is currently volunteering at the border as he does every year, and the reports he sends are pretty rough. (I didn't sign on for out-of-hours texts about moms and little kids being rough-handled and chucked out at the border with nowhere to go! Seriously, dude, I'm going to bed now, there's a time zone difference! But...I also kind of did sign on for this.) I know less about these organizations, but here is an example. They provide life-saving supplies of food and water, they help migrants and deportees find emergency shelter, they provide an on-the-ground witness to what border patrols are doing.

[nezoriy]

List of "normal" things that always baffled me as a person on the aro/ace spectrum:

Disclaimer: A lot of this is based on the feelings and perception of my teenage self when I started to feel people around me were weird but didn't have the language or concept yet to understand what was wrong. So, give me a break if it sounds edgy sometimes. I don’t have the energy to sugarcoat every statement so it doesn’t offend anyone. If you're part of the mainstream and feel attacked by a random dude on the internet questioning things you find "normal," maybe ask yourself why you’re upset instead of coming for me.

1. "Love at first sight."

Even as a kid, this felt like a scam. I get friendship, and I can imagine love developing out of it. But for that, you need to know the person. You can't know someone instantly. So how on earth is this supposed to work? (The answer is, most ppl can feel sexual attraction instantaneously and it gets sold as love for the kids.)

2. Finding someone "attractive" = you’d like to fuck them.

I honestly was like 20something when I realized that actually yes, when ppl talk about someone, even celebs, being "attractive," they do mean they’d like to have sex with them and not just compliment them on their looks.

Like, I can honestly say that many of my friends, Cate Blanchett, and Hugh Jackman are "attractive." But to me, that’s like talking about a painting. Like, sure, Singer Sargent's Madame X is "attractive," but no one's trying to, uh, get it on with the painting… right?

3. The whole concept of dating (to find a romantic partner.)

So, you’re telling me people meet up specifically to see if they might develop feelings for each other when they don't have those feelings yet? 

Like, what even makes you say yes to a date if you don't know a person at all? (The answer is: once again, sexual attraction, obviously.) 

On the other hand, if you’re already friends with someone and just wanna see where it goes, why bring the flowers and fancy dinners into the equation?

4. Why people (especially women) would even risk sex back when it could have had major consequences for them

The list includes (but isn’t limited to):

Women before reliable contraception in societies where an unplanned pregnancy could be socially catastrophic;

Brothel visitors once STDs were known;

(Here’s the tricky one bc I myself kinda feel guilty for not being empathetic enough) gay people, especially men, in times and places where they could literally be imprisoned or executed for having sex

I need to be very clear here, this isn’t about moral superiority as I'm not feeling any, it’s about survival. Like, if sex could legit mess up your life, why not just… not do it? 

Yeah it's basically rip to “fallen” women but I’m different.

5. The culture of one-night stands, cruising, club hookups, etc.

This is still a bit uncomfortable in my head because this is a very prominent part of gay culture specifically, and I’ve always felt incredibly disconnected from it. But I can't edit it out.

Okay, so someone’s hot. I can maybe get that there’s a spark. But if you don’t know them… what if they open their mouth mid-action and reveal they voted for trump? Instant deal-breaker, my genitals are shriveling in terror.

6. The need to have a partner / actively searching for one.

I give it to you, if you vibe with someone, getting into a relationship may make sense. But actually, putting in effort to find one? For what? There’s so much other cool stuff in life!

7. "I haven’t had sex in five minutes/a month/half a year 😱😭" / jokes about dry spells.

Do you actually keep track of the timelines? So what if you haven’t? I get it, orgasm is great and all, but your hand still works, right? Why do you need another person for that? 

8. Imagining yourself in place of a person/character in sex scenes.

This mostly applies to fanfics but also “regular” porn. Even if the scene is hot, I don’t picture myself as any of the characters involved. Even if I'm aroused, I like it precisely for the characters in a specific scenario, I would only be a third wheel there. 

9. Sexual fantasies with yourself as a participant.

I really don't want to imagine myself in any sexual scenarios, neither with fictional characters nor with real people, even if I might have a crush on them. 

10. Cheating in relationships/marriage.

I’m not even talking about the moral aspect of breaking trust/violating the negotiated agreements; it’s the fact that someone "just couldn’t help themselves," “accidentally” had sex. Like, you’re willing to break an agreement, feel all the guilt, and go all secret agent-level to hide the thing because you… what, couldn’t keep it in your pants?

11. Extreme jealousy over sex.

Alongside the last point, I don’t really get why people make such a big deal about someone sleeping with someone else. Sure, it’s not cool to break agreements, and it’s a valid reason to re-evaluate the relationship. But just because they hooked up with someone else? Why is it such a dramatic deal?

(Spoiler alert: I’ve grown up to be poly now, who’s surprised xD)

12. The sexualization of women in media, ads, and the outrage from cishet guys about female characters wearing realistic armor instead of metal bikinis in their games now.

What do you mean, people actually like this and it works on them? Do people actually appreciate having half-naked women in their media? Seriously?

13. The priority of romantic relationships over friendships and every other kind of relationship.

From "got a partner, disappeared for two months from their friend group" to the whole idea that romance is inherently more "serious" or "important" than friendship. Why? Who made that a rule?

Okay, that’s it off the top of my head. Might add something later. 

[lornasaurusrex]

I miss you Lorna… this is such a mess

This is an old message and I had several other similar messages, but I miss you guys and hope you’re all doing well!! I’m sorry to see nothing has improved.

I saw I was kindly mentioned by @awesomefringey and some other commenters the other day, so just wanted to log in and say hello and log back out for a few more months. 💕

Sending so so much love to all of you. Take care of yourselves and each other, please.

The video is still on YT.

[archduke-enver-gortash]

mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

[silverislander]

working here is making me a little bit nuts abt antibullying again <3

[gibbearish]

yknow what bugs me is when ppls criticism of YA media boils down to them just not knowing how teenage crushes work

[rosicheeks]

🤦🏽‍♀️

[eggsnatcheskneecaps]

.

[timeisacephalopod]

On one hand my one sister is Big Stupid and pregnant again, which I wouldn't care as much about if this wasn't the fourth kid with the fourth shitty fucking father who will do nothing but cause even MORE pain and suffering to my sister's life, and on the other hand my other sister keeps sending me apartment ads which is very sweet because she ALSO just had a baby (in August and also her situation is stable, I'm very proud she managed to pull off what she did considering where she's come from. Her boys, especially Older Nephew were SO excited for the baby and I love listening to Older Nephew talk about his sister, it's so heartening to see him so happy and excited. Something tells me my other sisters 3 girls won't be nearly as impressed, especially not Oldest Niece and it's gotten to a point where I feel somewhat compelled to try and mentor this poor kid but I don't know SHIT about kids and don't want to let this poor kid down like everyone else has, she deserves better than that).

Granted my whole life I've preferred Apartment Sister to Making Poor Life Choices sister but also recently Making Dumb Choices has made some serious improvements to her life, very impressive ones too, so it's just disappointing to watch her backslide especially into the same bullshit she's been doing since she was 18 and is now 32. But at least I'm not the only one apartment hunting 😂😂 her efforts are super appreciated given that she just moved herself as well, plus having a fresh baby (very cute baby too). Now with any luck my OTHER sibling will get her shit together hopefully before we're on child number six with father number six with all the same fucking personality flaws and mental health problems not one of these men take even remotely seriously because that's exhausting to me let alone my damn sister.

[bibiana112]

Everyone's always so mad over unsolicited criticism but you know what makes me furious? Unsolicited comfort. Me simply not expressing myself the same way as you is not a sign that I'm depressed and in desperate need for you to come to my rescue, it is not an invitation for you to act like my one pillar of reliability or to act like my friend when you do not know my life, do not know wether I do have support, do not know I chose to be in this position you feel so uncomfortable looking at and on god you just don't get to pity me for living my fucking life the way I want to

[1010ninetynine]

honestly i don't agree with terf ideology but to call it colonialist is interesting imo.

it’s always so fucking funny to me when terfs are like “how can you say trans women and women are the same thing! being born as a man makes you different!” because like. yes. trans women and cis women are different. so are black women and white women. and straight women and queer woman. and women from different countries and different socioeconomic statuses. there’s diversity in the experience of womanhood? what a wild concept

[sewerfight]

when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn't need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn't like his tone. used to send him "SHUT UP Jacques" periodically. and he'd answer every single one of my asks like "who is this?? show your face or I'll fucking kill you" and I'd be like "now now, that doesn't make sense, jacques" all haughty and he'd get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn't a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn't even respond to the rant until I came back. I could've chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like "psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn't take their own values seriously." and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn't know how to, or if he didn't want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I'd conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like "remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you'd been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn't funny because he probably had problems, and you were like 'oh.' and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?" Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you're out there I'm sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it's any consolation I know every day of my life that I'm probably going to hell for the sick things I have done

[barkingangelbaby]

@ last reblog. it wasn't. life and people can just be cruel.

[laniidae-passerine]

What's the show? 👀

lmao our flag means death. honestly it was just a mixture of s2’s writing and clear lack of direction/habit of pandering to the audience in ways that wrecked the plot/characters + that audience consisting of a deranged fandom who tore each other apart and yelled at each other over a fucking pirate sitcom. if you check the tag now it’s just a few straggling remaining fans and some of the worst people you’ll ever meet still being vicious about fictional characters. nobody cares the show is undeniably over go get a hobby or some friends

[smelly-fozzy]

one thing I really hate about most parents is that they think “no” and “stop”, don’t apply to them when it’s coming from their children/their friends children, or any child in general.

[pa-pa-plasma]

You are literally putting the comfort of THEORETICAL PEOPLE above the lives of real disabled people who are facing these issues.

So, the thing is that addicts are both real & disabled, & who's triggers should be taken into account. You obviously can't give everyone accommodations at the same time since different people require different things, but if someone is recovering & cannot be around alcohol for example, you would try to take that into account when possible because you want to treat them with respect.

Nobody is doing this? You're arguing points that you're making up

So, again, this isn't a strawman argument, & I'm not making people up to defend. It's not a hypothetical. I have met these people in real life. I've been asked politely if I could make these accommodations & I agreed to it because I know how triggers work & know how much being triggered sucks. Saying "your trigger is your problem only so don't expect people to care" is just showing how little you actually care about other disabled people. Try being nicer.

you're advocating for sacrificing the lives, health, and dignity of real disabled people for the comfort of thereotical people

I literally never said that & would love if you could quote where I said that directly.

Again, I'm a real disabled person who has been in the real situation I just described. If you're in a situation where you will die unless you take your medication immediately at your desk, there are other options besides you leaving or triggering someone. You can ask them to leave for their health. Let them know when you take your meds so they can leave at that time.

it isn't hard to come up with solutions to this problem. It isn't Them VS Us. There are no sides here, just disabled people in bad situations not getting the proper accommodations. You acting like it is Them VS Us only tells me how little you actually care about fixing this issue. You only want to complain about the people you view as The Enemy. You only care about Them VS Us.

And something tells me you're not actually concerned at all about the mental health of addicts. Something tells me that you just don't want to have to see a "yucky disabled person" existing in public in a way that offends your delicate sensibilities.

you are literally so fucking pathetic if this is what you got out of "here is a problem we should think of solutions to." what exactly is telling you this? stop going into stuff like this in the worst faith possible. it makes you look like a piece of shit

Things that should be normalized:

Taking meds in public

Going out to eat by yourself

Not having your drivers license

Asking about allergies when eating out

Things that should NOT be normalized:

Watching loud videos in public without earbuds istg stop it its so annoying I don't want to hear some Minecraft dude screaming while I'm trying to eat my pancakes in peace