#look at canon gay wolverine

[artiquar]

did you guys know wolverine and hercules are in love? for real? in canon?

[captainkingsley]

just thinking about james howlett and his giant boyfriend (canon) (real) (alternate universe but still counts)

[cherry-pop-elf]

Cup Of Sugar

Deadpool x Reader x Wolverine

Authors Note: Since Yall finally see the beauty of Poolverine, you finally get some stupid fluff. Here ya go

Sum: You were neighbors with Blind Al, and that chaotic son of hers. Recently you’ve been hearing alot of noise, and figured you check on them both. Like a good neighbor. Seems to have been just the right time

Warnings: Fluff, canon typical violence, Logan and Wade being so gay in their own way, Blind Al being a total wing woman, dogpool aprecitation post, family fluff because god dammit Mama Blind Al and her sons boyfriend with their new dog domestic fluff is needed!

“Will you two knock it off! I don’t need another damn couch in this house-!” You would hear Al shout. Not the first time, but the noise seemed so much more wild as of recent. Like some kind of badger was joining the party. Couldn’t help it with your worry. She was blind after all. So, here you are. Knocking on her door.

“Get along-! Well, or like STOP GETTING ALONG-!” You heard her snapping, before yanking the door open. “The hell you want?” She asked, before you would clear your throat.

“Hey Miss Althea-!” The moment she heard your voice she had softened into that motherly state she always had for you. Not many people in the complex really enjoyed her company, or her son’s, but you always took the time to say hi to her. Not treat her any less inferior because of her blindness.

“Oh hey baby! Come on in, get in here-!” She just beamed, and laughed. Happy to have someone new to talk to. Can get lonely, after all. From many of your conversations with her, when helping her take the groceries to her apartment, her son Wade was often on business trips. Nice to have some company.

Inside was certainly a chaotic mess. You swore someone ran around like a Tasmanian Devil in there. Pictures asque, cushions everywhere, a couch shredded like it was thrown in a blender. You were wondering what the hell happened. Was it a break in? Had you worried sick, before a bark caught your attention.

“PUPPY-!” You couldn’t stop yourself from squealing, as you knelt to the floor. Right next to the dog in her dog bed. All snuggled with plushies of what you guessed were her favorite heros, and seeming to be the one area of the apartment that escaped this fire. Least whoever attacked the home had some kind of morals.

“That ugly thing? That’s ’Mary Puppins’ as the dynamic duo calls them. She that ugly kinda cute. She always knows when you need someone to cuddle, that’s for sure. I ain’t complaining. Nice having company.” Al would explain to you, as you were hypnotized by her cuteness. Had her cradled in your arms, and giving her all the belly scratches.

“She’s perfect.” You cooed, as you gave her fluffy head a kiss. Had her barking happily at your attention. Seemed said barking finally got the attention of the two rascals in the home. A bickering of panic French was held, before you turned your head. As to see what the French was going on.

“Hey-“ A burly man would wave, before seeming to shove the other person into a bedroom. In some kind of mad panic, as if to hide them from you. For some reason.

“Oh, hey. Uh, hi.” You would stand up, Pup in hand, as you registered what you were looking at. He wasn’t the tallest man around, and honestly? Might be even shorter than yourself. Didn’t take away the fact he was built like a truck. Somehow all tucked away behind a torn up wife beater and jeans. Looked like he had been fighting someone with a set of knives. On top of knives. With more knives.

“That’s Logan. My kids new boyfriend.” Al would brush off casually, as she would find herself towards the couch. Just to sit there, and most definitely keep an ear out for the drama to happen now.

“We aren’t….It’s complicated-“ He tried to explain, before said Wade popped his cheery ass out. Having been in such a rush to join the party, he was wearing his shirt backwards. You would argue his boxers to, but a puppy keeps anyone’s attention.

“Oh hey! Peanut, that’s our neighbor. About time you met the sweetheart. Don’t do anything Logany. Or do, kinda a freak. Just saying-“ He would nudge at the shorter man, as said man rolled his eyes.

“Hey Wade-! When did you get this little girl? And uh, the hell happened here?” You were pretty used to Wades insanity at this point, hence why he called you a freak (in that sweet way endearing way) so maybe there was an explanation on all this.

“Thats Mary Puppens. The sweetest shit stain around. We got her from uh….A cousin. Passed away. Terrible terrible. Can’t have her left alone.” Wade would explain, as Logan would walk over. Gave the pup a gentle scratch under her chin that made her shake her leg just right. She clearly loved her new parents dearly.

“And the mess here?” You would raise a brow, before Wade tugged at his collar. That’s when he noticed it was backwards, and kept himself busy with fixing it. Left Logan to have to bite the bullet.

“….Redecorating…..” Logan offered, as you just stared at the two. A brow raised, as you didn’t buy it for a single second. You weren’t stupid. You weren’t going to fall for the ‘put on a hat and jacket and suddenly you can’t make out a superhero from a crowd’ trope. Something suspicious was going on.

“Just be direct, will ya?! If anyone can be trusted it’s gonna be that there sugar.” Al would practically scold the two little dumbasses. Just like a mother would to her so , and his boyfriend, who were trying to dance around a topic.

“Are you two super humans of some kind? You don’t have to tell me more. Just….Dont wanna worry about little Pup here and Al. Ya know?” That seemed to make Logan pause. As if your kindness, and realness, was a shock to have. A welcomed one, but you’ll still get caught off guard if you ate trash and suddenly had a pallet cleanser of lime sherbet shoved in your mouth.

“Do you mean super human as super human, or super human like mutant powers, or super human like experimented on, or super human like as a-“ And Logan promptly smacked the back of Wades head. Treating him like a skipping record. Had you giggle, since now you didn’t have to worry about the violence. Able to comprehend they just don’t feel pain like others.

“Super human is all that needs to be said, bub.” Logan warned him, as he held up his fist. You thought to punch, but you swore the top of his hand was twitching. Not like a muscle spasm. Way too uniformed. As if three veins were bulging. Maybe it was better not to question it.

“Now, why are you even here?” Logan would try his blunt coldness on you, but living next to the likes of Wade doesn’t really phase you. This was a world of super heros and inhumans. Can’t scare you that easy.

“Came to check on Miss Althea. Heard a ruckus, that was louder than normal, so I came to check.” That had Logan scoff. To hear you being so ‘brave’ and coming over to the source of the noise. A admiring ‘so dumb but in a brave way’ admiring.

“He’s still grumpy from the turbulence, if you will-“ Wade would jazz hands, as if knowing things that no one else shouldn’t. He always did act like that. As if he just knew how the world worked better than others. You found it more so endearing than creepy, like others did.

“Oh! New here? Well welcome! Oh, maybe I can show you around? Wade and I know some pretty cool places. Oh! There’s a dog park that’s built for dogs who need more special care than others. We can all go there with Miss Puppins!” You were rambling like Wade, but had the clarity of Logan. A beautiful combination. One that had the two men smitten.

“Fuck yeah we can go to the dog park. Get dressed, Showman, come on-!” And Wade was running off to get changed. The typical attire of hoodie, face mask, glasses. Just layering. You didn’t find his skin disgusting, but given the world’s issues with pandemic it can’t be helped.

“Great, now you got him started again-“ Logan would complain, yet was already grabbing his leather jacket. Complaining, yet clearly willingly excited all the same. Just in his own way.

“Would you like to join us, Miss Althea?” You asked her, which gave her a bit of a surprise. You wanted her to come along? She normally never tagged along on things like this. Yet, you offered. Even though most times she would say no. Not this time.

“Someone needs to make sure you assholes don’t get into more shit.” She smarted off, but was already standing. With the help of Logan, of course. Just in time for Wade to return.

“Come on disabled gang! Let’s go!” He would clap, as Logan just kept rolling his eyes. You yourself were excited, and leading the charge now. All with Miss Puppins happy in your arms. So happy to have a big family to take her on adventures.

Nothing more sweet than a happy pup.

[punkeropercyjackson]

I've had it with the assumption Duke Thomas is just a DC version of Miles Morales.Y'all literally only think that because they're both black and you may call it 'representation' but it's tokenization by stripping them of their depth(and their designs.....they don't look similar and once again you're being antiblack by saying they do).Here's how Duke and Miles aren't 'same character,different font':

Duke is too mean to be Miles(a compliment to Duke and not an insult to Miles)

Duke is a Meta and the son of a god named Gnonom and therefore a half human hybrid,Miles became a mutant while born as an ordinary human

Duke is only AA,Miles is AA and afrolatino

Duke's sun motif is based on his powers,Miles' sun motif is based solely on personality

Duke is actually like Hobie Brown:Dystopian black punk teen boy who lost his childhood but only let that make him an optimistic anarchist,professional insitigator and stay silly,is the leader of a mantlesharing team of other troubled kids of color and an absolute sweetheart despite the audacious attitude with absolute batshit street cred

And Miles is actually like Jason Todd and/or Tim Drake:Black and red-coded,secondmantle holder who went to a far off place when he was 15 to find himself at the manipulation of an important woman in his life and had his life irreversably impacted by a Canon Event Death,went from a soft peppy nerdy boy to a self-isolating goth asshole mentored by a major figure from his dad's past to cope with his trauma and a precious teen genius who has to deal with typical teen problems even in his double life and talks so much trash and gets himself into so many situations it's a (boy) wonder he's still alive

And jic y'all get any ideas about what i'm about:Batcest isn't a part of Batlore,that was made up by white gays to make themselves look smart and i never watched Deadpool and Wolverine and i think nobody else should've either

[izuku-lover15]

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Creds to @mirkoscats and @bkdkd1glazer on TikTok for the images! ᗢ

I think a very big reason why bkdk is so hated in the western world compared to internationally is because of the English translation for it.

It seems that it’s actually a very popular ship in Japan, but if you mention them in places like America etc you should be prepared for a LOT of backlash. 😭

And obviously a reason for this is the mistranslation! A lot of Japanese words aren’t properly explained, so we’re not actually getting the full idea of what they’re saying. Just a summary.

Along with the multiple arts following romantic traditions over there, it’s obvious why it would be more popular overseas! They get the full idea of what their relationship looks like.

And it’s obvious that even if it’s romantic or not, their relationship is so special and deep. THEY ARE SOULMATES PEOPLE 😭😭

I saw someone say that ‘English mangas need like a separate page to describe Japanese words that cant be directly translated. It’s such valuable info to understand the plot fully’ and I think that’s such a good idea. Because yes it’s annoying not being able to understand everything they’re saying how it’s meant to be understood!

I think that’s just my view on it, but honestly after seeing that analysis it opened my eyes 😭

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Following romantic traditions?? No wonder they think these mfs gay too. 😭

I think if either of them were a girl, they’d already be canon. And I know horikoshi isn’t afraid of making lgbtq characters, but is he afraid of making them the MAIN characters? Which I can understand to an extent due to the possible backlash it might get.

We find this a lot, two main male best friends with a questionable relationship, wether or not they’re meant to be romantic or not they’re relationship is still questionable and outside of the norm of what you’d consider to be ‘just close friends’ or some people’s favourite term ‘brotherly.’

Time and time again people notice their close relationship, tension builds up and it goes nowhere. And they get called crazy for even thinking they were anything more than friends.

Perhaps coincidence but I think NOT??

This is a big detail that is left out in the anime, which is another reason why I think people are so against this ship. The anime portrays it poorly and leaves out important details, and they don’t bother reading the manga.

Horikoshi also happens to be a big fan of tarot cards!and people have pointed out this looks similar to the three of swords. I’m very clueless on tarot cards so if anyone wants to add their 50 cents into this part I’d appreciated. There’s an explainarion in the image but I’ll put a small one down here too from google.

‘This card depicts a fundamentally sorrowful experience—tarot readers suggest this may be in the form of a lost relationship, an accidental death, or some other form of not just depression or malaise but deeply emotional sorrow.’

‘In the context of love and partnerships, this card can signify the end of a relationship, often marked by betrayal, heartbreak, or a sudden and unexpected loss.’

So sure, it’s not inherently romantic and can be taken as either that or platonic. But I still think it’s a fun detail that the anime left out.

This is definitely a slop of holy yap but I got distracted and obsessed with wolverine for a while and sort of forgot about this account 😭

Would love to see other views on this if it does gain any sort of traction.

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 5 - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Sister Michael

She drives a DeLorean. She does judo on Fridays. She likes a good statue and despises the French. Her full nun name is Sister George Michael, after the guy from Wham!. She is the fiercest nun you’ll ever come across and, if you’re attending Lady Immaculate College, she’s the woman in charge. So whatever you do, if you’re feeling anxious or worried or just need a chat: don’t come crying to her.

joined the nunnery for the free accommodation?

she does love a good statue it has to be said

She is the headmistress of a catholic school <3

sister michael so reminds me of the nuns who taught me. they're tough and sometimes a little harsher than a woman who dedicated her life to god should be but they're also wonderful people. i had a nun teacher who was 60 years old and would do handstands. another nun (also in her 60s) told me god was nonbinary. another was really mean and made me cry. (so did the handstand nun.) while the catholic girls school is The Catholic Experience, the school wouldn't have been the same for me or the derry girls without at least one nun who seemed to have sprung up out of the ground fully formed, ageless.

Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler Propaganda:

good lord where do i start. in the animated series he converts logan to catholisism and then fucks off basically thats the main thing he did there. i think one time they tried to make him a demon to explain how he looked but everyone hated that. he sold his soul one time to help his friends out after he died. he and logan have a weird little gay thing. he was a priest one time but he was made a priest by a fake bishop from a religion that hates mutants iirc so he just wasnt a priest. like 3 people have written him in a way i like and one of those is my friend just talking about how they view him.

wow marvel loves making catholic characters dress/look like demons

Kurt is a mutant who was born to mystique who looks a LOT like a devil (technically is half one but that cannon truth isn’t real go back to bed), his mother dropped him off a cliff when he was born and he was picked up by a Romani group/circus (fuck old comics man) however he then narrowly escaped being sold to a freak show and found himself in a small German town. There he met a kind priest, who showed him God, and he quickly grew attached to the idea- However, it wasn’t long before people began labeling him a demon and soon the whole town was against him with pitchforks and fire. Cornered and injured, Kurt thought this might be the end for him- maybe he would see heaven so long after finding it- but he was then saved by Charles Xavier who invited him to the X-Men. AND ITS BEEN SO MANY YEARS AND HE HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH THERE. SO MUCH. SO GOD DAMN MUCH. BUT THE MOST AAAA THING TO ME CONCERNING HIS FAITH HE WHEN HE LITERALLY DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN BUT THEN BECAUSE OF DRAMA WITH HIS FATHER HAD TO BRING HIS FRIENDS IN WITH HIM FROM THE BEYOND. THEN WITH ALOT OF TROUBLE THEY FOUGHT HIS FATHER AND THE ONLY WAY KURT SAW TO STOP HIM WAS IN A MOVE THAT STRIPPED THEM BOTH OF THEIR SOULS AND PUT THEM BACK ON EARTH. SO KURT CANONICALLY HAS NOW LOST HIS ABILITY FOR ETERNAL PEACE, LOST HIS VERY SOUL, TO SAVE PEOPLE- AND ALSO TOLD NO ONE NOT EVEN HIS GAY LOVER WOLVERINE.

Nightcrawler is a mutant vigilante who looks like a classical demon. He can’t even go to church without people panicking and trying to exorcize him. Despite it all, he’s so full of faith and hope and compassion, and he wants to believe the best of everyone. Also, he’s bffs with an extremely angry Jewish sword lesbian. That has nothing to do with anything, but it’s important to me that you all know that.

What if you were a devout christian and literally looked like the devil? He nearly became the pope, which was a plot by some supervillains that also involved faking a rapture? There is nothing like comics I swear to god.

A catholic who is half demon I don’t think I can better explain a struggle than that. But his character is so relatable to people who feel unwelcome with their congregation because of something that is a part of them but still feeling a connection to the faith. Kurt actively engaged in his faith and shares how his faith helps him through all the things he has faced in life and how he found a home with those of the church who leave the judging to God.

so they made kurt a priest briefly before deciding to retcon it, resulting in nightcrawler actually being part of a plan by villains to promote him to pope then reveal to the world that the pope is a demon. wild.

I have a side blog and a tattoo about him and i really really want him to win

Wisecracking devil-appearing devout Catholic with the Best superpower (teleportation)? HECK YES

German Catholic circus acrobat who looks like a demon & can teleport through a hellish alternate dimension with a puff of sulfur. Character of all time.

hes catholic and his dad is the devil. what could be funnier than that. also hes my silly little guy.

Nightcrawler is the world’s most fun catholic priest. I first was introduced to this kindhearted teleporting acrobat while he saved a boat full of stowaway refugees from inter dimensional pirates with swashbuckling gusto!

[olderthannetfic]

This may be a touch grass moment but i also am not sharing this on my dash :D

It's surreal people falling for Deadpool & wolverine queerbaiting while at the same time hating that people ship two male best friends.

Cause like d&w point is that the are bros but... also....maybe... they are like bros who fuck. And the whole marketing was around that and like it feels like everyone treats it as a haha moment.

While when someone is shipping two men who are 'best friends' suddenly its a reach and you're looking too much into things. And queercoding is not a thing anymore suddenly.

--

Well...

Deadpool has long been able to get away with canonically referring to the homoeroticism of comic books because he's played for laughs and he's always meta and weird. I haven't seen the latest one, but having Deadpool movies do yet more of this is no surprise.

Queercoding is indeed a thing. If you watch The Celluloid Closet, it talks a lot about the history of this and the kinds of either subcultural markers or negative stereotypes that are usually involved.

But most epic, heroic male best friends are intended as non-romantic. They don't have nods to cis gay culture like the things discussed in The Celluloid Closet. They don't engage with common negative stereotypes seen in villains. They just care deeply about each other.

Fandom reads this as significant subtext. In a BL manga, it would mean something. In cis gay culture, the most you'll usually get is "Yeah, they're hot, and they should fuck about it".

How we read subtext—whether there is subtext—depends heavily on your exact culture and discourse community. (Like, the actual meaning of "discourse community", not the fandom wank meaning.) It's easy to think someone is reaching when they say something has subtext or is near-canonical if you come from a totally different culture with a different set of assumptions. That can be true even if you like the idea of a ship or wish it would become canon.

If someone enjoys Deadpool's gay chicken vibes but yells at Stucky shippers, they're a jerk. They're not necessarily a hypocrite though.

[geekundercover]

X-Men ‘97 episode 1x3 thoughts! Just wanted to elaborate a bit on some of the stuff we saw in Madelyne’s hellscape, namely the nightmare visions for Gambit and Morph, since it feels like there’s some room to interpret with those two as compared to the other members that have had their inner conflicts explored a bit already or are pretty straightforward.

With Gambit, the vision of Rogue and Magneto does seem to go beyond ‘the woman I love is hooking up with another man’ and hits at some deeper insecurity about himself and his character. The vision of Rogue is calling him out as not a good person, not a worthy person, at least not compared to Magneto. It seems like deep down, Gambit does feel an admiration for Magneto despite their previous status as enemies; he’s convicted, he’s a leader, he’s a savior of mutants, and some part of Gambit ranks himself as lesser by comparison, just a ‘nasty, thieving critter’. Magneto is a hero, and by implication, Gambit is not. That’s kinda sad to think about, since Gambit has helped save the world multiple times at this point and has made plenty of selfless actions in the process, but he has always held himself at a bit of a remove from the team and the cause they’re fighting for. Maybe that’s finally starting to get to him, or maybe has always bugged him on some level but his difficulties with trust have never let him overcome that self-enforced distance. If this is laying the groundwork for some sort of character arc, one where Gambit does seek to become more of what he sees as a worthy man, more of a hero, and whether or not that takes a positive or negative trajectory for him, I’m super interested to see it.

As for Morph... Listen, I've been making Morph x Wolverine jokes just like everyone else, they've been Like That since the OG series, but at this point I'm genuinely and seriously sure that Morph is in love with Logan and that's the core of their nightmare vision. Sure, the obvious terror fuel is their Sinister-based trauma, but listen to what Sinister said to them and the context in which he said it: They just left a conversation where they, Logan, and Gambit were discussing relationship woes, and after Logan ditched them to go check on Jean, they looked bummed and said "and then there was Morph." Left alone. Then the visions start, and Morph gets a very naked Logan posing sexily in the shower. Sure they try to make a very "boys in the locker room" sort of joke out of it, but come on Morph, there is no heterosexual explanation (and I do not say that lightly) for going to bug your buddy in the shower by offering to help him with "hard to reach spaces." Then the Sinister quote: "Always with the jokes, eh, Morph? As if I don't know. As if we ALL don't know." I genuinely think Morph is mega gay for Wolverine and is trying to hide it from everyone badly. They may all be mutants, but it is still the 90s, and just because they all have being a mutant in common with each other doesn't mean they're all on the same page in terms of queerness. Again, if this is the case, it's sad to think about. At this point in the animated canon, Morph and Wolverine make FAR more sense as a pairing than Logan and Jean ever did. Logan never gave up on Morph after they were brainwashed in the OG series, went to the literal ends of the earth to bring them back home, so it's no wonder if Morph caught Big Feelings about it but is scared to actually be honest about them.

[blorbobutworse]

Character Interpretation: Wolverine

More info under the cut! I did this because, at least on my phone, it looks like I wrote....a lot.

I actually have two ideas for him!! Because he contains Multitudes and also I don't want him being horny for highschoolers.

First is what characteristics they share, and then what makes them separate versions.

Born : 1875 ~1900

Comic sized!!! 280 lbs and 5’3"

Amnesiac, has flashbacks/nightmares, does not remember anything up to 20 years before Joining the X-Men.

He forgets recent memories when his head has been severely damaged. The more damage, the longer the amnesia

Animalistic, almost feral communication methods, on high stress situations and when he first joined the x-men.

Secretly cuddly but refuses to admit it. (Touch starved)

Like a real wolverine: a scavenger, does have bite to back up his bark but would prefer not to use it, at least when he has some of his memories.

Loves playfighting but refuses to ask

Canon alchohol/cigar/addiction issues.

Parental towards Kitty Pryde and Jubilee

Have Something going on with Kurt (I prefer Kurt Older, though I might decide to do a teenager a la X-men Evolution eventually…but even then I want fun gay uncle Kurt not baby. personally.)

Good trio with colossus + Kurt

Has persistant guilt and was/is forced to kill people the X-men aren't willing to take out

Essentially, everything already written in my page!!!!

Wolverine #1: Teacher/Dad/Big Brother

X-Men Evolution (No attraction to Minors <3)/Wolverine (1982) Comic/ Uncanny x-men

Brave, Protective, sassy old man

Parental towards all the kids, gentle with them and even reads them stories sometimes,it's a running joke with the toddlers that He Can't Read (he does it to make them feel smart and learn)

More into talking/fighting about his feelings/crying

Leans on Charles/Kurt to hold him back because he doesn't want to put that responsibility on Scott, because although he's team leader he's still A Child

Often argues with Xavier about having Child Soldiers, consistent point of conflict

Wolverine #2: Dilf Whore

Was NOT a teacher to the original X-men Xaviour raised: Storm, Jean Grey, Cyclops, and Iceman, just joined up with the X men when they were already adults, sort of similar to X-Men 1 (movie) or the original X-men comic run.

Slut <3

I rotate him between Jean, Cyclopes, Kurt, and a lovely enemies with Benefits with Sabretooth(NOT SIBLINGS IN ANY OF MY UNIVERSES!!!), but he’s essentially free use within the team :)

Oh! And hes in like a FWB thing with Gamit and Rougue <33333

More Touch Starved

Emotional Issues !!

Basically a horny hot mess trying to deal with his issues in the worst way possible. Just the PE and art teacher bc if he was given anymore responsibility he would Traumatize the Children.

Different fanfics will just have like. A little note telling you because, again,I don’t enjoy Logan flirting with underage girls while also being a girl dad, that feels….gross.

Batman' analysis will hopefully be out sometime tommorow my friends 💕

[imavikingo]

Everytime I look at Tumblr and see the tl I remember why I hate endgame with a passion you couldn't understand.

They fucked up Steve and Bucky so bad (yes, Bucky too bc suddenly he doesn't matter/isn't even a secondary character that deserves to be near Steve)

It's so funny to me (not) bc they talked about gay characters being in the movie at panels and interviews and even talked about Stucky at some point (basically queerbaiting) for then... Steve not even acknowledging Bucky. An awkward and impersonal hug doesn't cut it.

And Steve suddenly yearning and talking about Peggy? When he didn't even mourned her that bad and already had let her go ages ago? They knew they fucked up in CATWS with Steve and Buckys relationship, so they tried to distance them and then inserted Peggy bc ofc

(they possibly didn't have the time for a new character and they already had fucked up pairing Nat and Bruce and Wanda and Vision). Steve didn't have anyone else he cared about so they couldn't give him a new girlfriend. So they used Peggy AGAIN.

I'm not mad bc "Stucky not canon grr"

No.

I'm fucking pissed off because they did the worst character assassination and friendship assassination possible. Every movie of Cap America revolved around Steve saving Bucky at some point and him caring about him above all else, and you want me to believe that Steven Grant Rogers didn't care about him when Bucky died in front of his eyes? AGAIN? That Peggy's death was more important and impactful for him? If that was the case then why the fuck did he crash the plane then? If he cared so much about Peggy since forever?

No, that was just lazy writing and a way to reinforce Steve's sexuality "He can't be gay and you can't say that bc he LOVES PEGGY"(even tho he only kissed her once, even tho he crashed the plane and didn’t give her the coordinates, he didn't really care that much after all) they could have paired him with Nat in later movies, but they didn't.

That's why I only raise my eyebrows a lil when people say that x character will be gay canonically in a marvel movie/series. Is more than possible they won't. And if they are they're Deadpool, a secondary character no one cares about (obscure in lore too, so they can cut them off) or is plain queerbaiting again (because yes, even if you don’t see Steve and Bucky’s relationship as romantic, they DID QUEERBAIT IT)

Steve and Buckys relationship wasn't even written in a romantic way (you can ship them or not), but they tried so hard to rectify Steve's heterosexuality in endgame, that they fucked up their character arcs on purpose. And now they will always feel hollow and inconclusive. A bad taste in the mouth, a painful reminder of what it was and a what? 11 year long? characterization.

Idk man, I know I've talked about this more than three times, but omfg Tumblr reminds me why I hate that fucking movie!!! It's not my fault!!!

I know I'm going to end up writing something out of spite bc I can't take it shdkdjjcif

"It's been more than 4 years get over it" NEVER

Also the bit with Johnny Storm in Deadpool and Wolverine was also a dig (a fuck you if you will) to the fans bc Deadpool explicitly calls him Cap. And it implies that Steve as a character (not that old Steve nonsense) won't be back.

It's funny they've remade over and over again some movies (Fantastic 4, Spiderman) changed actors for characters (James/war machine, Bruce) and they include them in the multiverse/plot, but they won't do the same to some movies and some characters when they fuck up their stories, because they know if they do, they will have to acknowledge WHY they did it. Like with James/war machine changing actors.

So yeah, that's one of the reasons I don't care about Marvel anymore.

**I mean remake the movies ((Also they Can't remake Cap America bc that would mean they need to remake every important movie. And they don't have the time, the money nor the need. So that's why they decided to fuck their character arcs))

or include some characters in multiverse (they're going to do that with Tony/RDJ/Dr Doom after all, no?) and they also won't remake Cap bc the movies are amazing.

But the point stands. Steve couldn't be in DaW bc that would imply he's an alternative one or that Old!Steve was an alternative one or wasn't even Steve to begin with. But they couldn't do that ofc, no, bc that would give the fans hope in seeing Steve and Bucky together once again. So they did a dig at the fans bc "haha you thought it was Steve, but it's Johnny!"

Idk if I'm making sense at this point I'm tired af, need to sleep.

The thing is that they fucked up Steve Rogers's arc on purpose (Bucky's too, and others charas too tbh) and now they expect the fans to accept everything they give us with open arms. And imho I won't accept shit.

"Deadpool saved the MCU" how? If the other og characters are DEAD or they fucked them up too? Or are the butt of the joke now? Don't make me laugh. Most people don't gaf bout the new charas bc they only are presented in series not everyone watches (only available in one place) or are presented with characters that are dead now or as a replacement for the og characters. They aren't interesting on their own (not really, at least in mcu) and that's why most of the new stuff isn't liked as much. If they wanted to present more characters the opportunity passed already.

Also now if you want to watch and really understand 1 movie (if you don't read the comics too) you need to watch like 20 other movies and 5 shows. it's fucking exhausting.

[brighteyes-things]

Deadpool/ wolverine as thing's me and my friends have said or heard

💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️

So it's been a while since I've written anything, and me and my friends now have the poolverine, dead claws.... wolverine and Deadpool itch

So in honor of our collected brain rot, these are some random things that we've heard/said that we think Deadpool or wolverine would say. Yes this will be updated as more things are said

WARNING: cursing, somewhat sexual jokes, mention of alcohol

Wade Wilson (Deadpool) ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

"I wasn't expecting to get turned on by a shirtless Hugh Jackman but God damn I'm not complaining"

"I don't feel fem boy enough, I need more eyeliner"

"I'm not a furry, but I'd fuck a man with cat ears"

*While sipping something* "you think I can use my boobs to hold this?"

"he's giving emo babygirl"

"you must FIRMLY grasp the booty"

"I can't just leave the house, I have to get my big boots on"

"you can't just slap my ass and leave"

"IM A MAN" *buys the pink strawberry skin care set from bath and body*

"I'm very gay and not afraid to kiss the movie poster to prove it"

"you ever think Slenderman is trying to recruit us for something"

"NO, no more black veil bride music, I'm not suffering through your emo phase again"

*mocking twilight* "WHY WOULD HE IMPRINT ON THE BABY, THAT'S FUCKED UP"

"I swear Batman only owns an adoption center just in case someone dies and he needs another mentally ill orphan"

*breaks a cabinet door just for gummy bears* (yes this happened by accident)

"I'd rob hot topic for those lollipop razor blade earrings"

"I know I'm mentally ill, I watch bluey and cry"

"I have to beat the fem boi allegations"

"I don't know why but I feel like I give off beta vibes"

"you'll never believe the ABO fic I just read"

"she's becoming an animae obsessed fan girl, it's a canon event I can't stop it, OH GOD SHE DISCOVERED WATTPAD"

*while watching crime TV* "this man needs to be put to death, he didn't eat the chocolate frosting on the cupcakes"

*while looking in the mirror* " I love my slutty man hips"

This dress doesn't scream "fuck me" enough

*talking about cosmic brownies* THE GIRTH

Logan (wolverine) 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

"I've become the caretaker to everyone, and I don't know how to feel"

"Ryan Reynolds could run me over with a truck and I'd apologize after I curse him out because...I GOT RAN OVER STILL"

*sees an animal on the side of the road* "poor kitty"

"fanart definitely scares me sometimes"

*gets kissed on the cheek* "that's GAY"

"you can't just eat the cup to get to the last drop of coffee"

"just how long is your simp list now, and why am I on it"

"that's unamerican, un-lawful, and downright not patriotic"

"no I don't wanna know the details of what you and your partner did, I'm trying to eat"

"stop trying to throw stuff in my boobs, it's annoying when I find crumbs of cookies in there"

"how did the least qualified of us, somehow graduate first AND have a baby in the span of a year"

"how'd I get rejected from Hooters?"

"you're an omega and you know it"

"your the reason they started bagging the peaches at Aldi's"

"how the hell did you burn yourself with a candy cane?!"

"it's only alcohol abuse if you spill anything"

"You're not a god, you're just dehydrated and read too much fanfiction"

"it's only gay if you don't have socks"

*staring at a pet rabbit* "that little demon is purposely chewing up my shit and you know it"

"did you just John Cena the clothes"

"I hope you know that I don't trust you with cleaning the dishes properly"

"did you seriously just compare little Debbie brownies by girth?"

[amageish]

People seemed to like my post chronicling the queer history of Felicia Hardy, so I'm going to do something similar to that... Let's chat about the queer history of Marvel's unwitting power couple, Ellie Phimister and her girlfriend Yuki Ohara.

Let's dive in!

Content Warning: This summary will include discussion of anti-mutant hate crimes and genocide, as that is part of Ellie's comic book story.

Like a lot of queer X-Men stories, this one begins with queercoding in the 80s.

While Jim Shooter famously prohibited any queer storytelling in Marvel Comics during his tenure as Editor-in-Chief of the company and, on top of that, the Comics Code Authority also banned it, Chris Claremont, the architect of the X-Men as we know them today, never really followed those rules - and neither did his editors, artists, and co-writers. There are so many queer-coded relationships throughout his runs on the X-Men and the modern X-Men stories are still playing catch-up to this day, canonizing the intentions of him and his collaborators one character at a time. Mystique and Destiny are probably his most famous pairing nowadays, as that is canon now, but he also wrote the Juggernaut as being with Black Tom Cassidy, Kate Pryde as being bisexual for most women she encounters in her life, and, the topic for today, Storm being in a romantic relationship with the Japanese assassin Yukio.

Yukio is, to put it mildly, a risk-taker. She runs through life with seemingly no self-preservation instincts whatsoever and, for some reason, always gets by nonetheless. She and Storm have a fling while Storm is in Japan (Uncanny X-Men 172-173) and this leads directly into Storm's famous punk era, which certainly does recontextualize some of the vibes of her having suddenly gotten a mohawk and a taste for leather.

Their later reunion in Uncanny X-Men 311-313 is extra funny to me - both because of the narration textually referring to them as "more then friends" and because of Yukio justifying her daredevil attitude by suggesting it would have been "politically incorrect" of the villain to have attacked them in public.

These two "kindred spirits" hang out for a bit, but Yukio is ultimately a Wolverine character and not a larger X-Men team member, so they naturally split off as time goes on. Their last appearance together was during the 2014 Death of Wolverine event - though their affair was mentioned by an angry Kitty during the Storm flashback mini earlier this year.

That said, Yukio is obviously a Sapphic and I guess when the team behind the movie Deadpool 2 decided to give their version of Negasonic Teenage Warhead a girlfriend, they looked at the list of queer-coded characters and decided she was the right one for them...

Now, as for Ellie...

Eloise Phimister AKA Negasonic Teenage Warhead debuted in Grant Morrison's New X-Men, but her name was not said on-panel until after she was already dead. She was one of Emma Frost's students, a gothic woman with telepathic powers that foretold the death of her and her classmates at Genosha... and yet she died nonetheless.

This is a very tragic character. She has a silly name, but that is part of the heartbreak of this moment. Ellie is a child who died as a result of a genocidal desire to kill all mutants. Her silly name emphasizes her youth... which makes it REALLY tonally dissonant when it played for comedy from here-on-out.

She was briefly brought back by the camp gay villain Selene when she revived horrific versions of many deceased mutants as part of X-Force... and then she was revived for real with a new design fter the release of the first Deadpool movie. She maintains her precognitive abilities and future-sight here, but otherwise... Well, she's now a comedy character in a Deadpool book. She also can warp reality now, partially as an explanation for why she looks/acts different then her first appearances.

She paled around with Deadpool for a bit, but didn't do anything explicitly queer in the comics until 2022 (good god) where she kissed an unnamed woman, causing Wolverine to wonder if she'll one day lead a X-Men team that is exclusively made up of her multiple girlfriends. This comment is also a subtle not to the implied status quo of the Krakoa era, where Wolverine himself has two partners - dating both Jean Grey and Scott Summers.

This is a funny moment, though I do wonder why it took so long for her to be queer in the comics - Marvel comic books are generally the most queer media Marvel puts out, so I do wonder if it was something specifically about her being a Deadpool character that caused people to hesitate to greenlight queer stories about her.

Finally, in 2023, Ellie got her first solo series in the form of an Infinity Comic.

This series uses the increasingly-popular approach of having "fate" be a stand-in for "the concept of being a loyal adaptation in a multimedia landscape," as she is fated to kiss a girl named Yuki Ohara or else the fabric of reality as we know it will be destroyed.

While Deadpool is only in it for a bit, it is a very meta narrative, with a lot of commentary on the way that female characters are written in comics in general and female reality-warpers specifically, with Ellie having a lot of anxiety about the risk of her becoming like Jean Grey or Scarlet Witch - not helped by the TVA chasing her down and declaring her a threat. However, in the end, she meets her girlfriend-to-be and pauses time itself to get know her properly before having their universe-saving kiss. Good for them!

Since then, she has appeared exactly once - in a Pride issue fashion show - but I imagine she and her girlfriend Yuki are just in a little reality-warp bubble, hidden away as Fall of X finishes up.

Synergy is a dirty word in the comics landscape, but I personally like Ellie and her romance with Yuki - and I'm very relieved that they introduced a new, younger Yuki O. based on the movie for her to date instead of just retconning the established Yukio into becoming Eloise's girlfriend... Storm doesn't deserve to have her girl stolen away like that!

Also, Yuki has a giant mech and electricity powers. Maybe a little cliche for a Japanese character's powerset, but it is badass...

I hope we see more comic book stuff with these two eventually... There is potential there that is as of yet untapped - especially as they are probably two of Marvel's most notable queers by virtue of being in wildly popular movies, even if their comic queerness is a relatively modern thing.

[captainkingsley]

"wolverine reunites with his boyfriend this issue we need rainbows somewhere"

[gothicdicordia]

On "Agatha Again - House of Harkness" The issue is simply - coming off the massively dudebro targeted Wolverine vs Deadpool dudes can't stand that a series would be not targeted at them still..still.

Dudes - this is targeted at Hocus Pocus fans who want an older version of Hocus Pocus. Hello?

Disney isn't stupid. They know exactly who they're creating these shows for and being mad that it isn't for your specific demographic is blind and completely lacks metacognition.

Shehulk was written for women. WandaVison was written for women. The Marvels and Captain Marvel - women.

Disney isn't making money off of representation but it is allowing expression of representation of multiple different people through using the money from all these huge white dude vehicles to fund it.

They don't care. They have all the money they need and they can give it to whoever they want to make. Whatever content looks awesome and it has no effect if a certain demographic doesn't blow it up with positive reviews.

It matters to Disney that there's a little girl out there who watches content like this and sees themselves and is seen. And if Disney needs a little space to make art, that doesn't please everybody they have that space and guess what? They aren't paying you to complain and further promote their content far beyond any money they've incentivized it with.

Appreciate the witches and canon Marvel lore because the actual comics +few even read back to the 1960s+ are very very gay/lgtbqia and xeno.

[redvanillabee]

Deadpool & Wolverine reactions under cut (spoilers alert)

They should have led the multiverse saga with this movie.

Like, this is literally the only time since the multiverse saga began that I feel like the 'prerequisite readings' were worth it. The comic book roots and the many, many, many variations of Deadpool and Wolverine are addressed head on. We get direct and deep cut visual references: the Scarlet Witch temple, B-15 as a boss in the TVA, like I feel that yes, if I had specifically caught up with Loki TV for this movie, I would feel that effort has paid off. I was getting very tired of those very vague 'ah yes Kang has lived many lives' comments from, say, Quantumania.

And because they are actually leaning into the different branches of Marvel products and now uniting them under the Marvel Studios label, they actually properly acknowledged the legacy of these characters and how people feel about them. I loved those behind the scenes clips of old X-Men movies in the end credits. Properly acknowledge their past and exits. Admitting with their chest that yes, we probably won't see Ian Mckellen as Magneto in the MCU, but damn wasn't that a fun time.

(Instead of all this, oh will Tom Hiddleston return as Loki? We don't know! He doesn't know! He said he certainly enjoyed playing Loki for 10+ years! But we will never actually give this character and actor a proper celebratory exit because what if we want him back for a cameo five years later!)

Lady Deadpool really was Blake Lively. Twitter was right. Lol.

Sweary Chris Evans as Johnny Storm was so fun; it's so refreshing to see him as not Stoic Monologuing Cap in the MCU. It just wrong-foots you enough.

At this point is2g Krzeminski is the anchor being of the Agent Carter universe because how else do you explain the complete death and absense of anything Agent Carter in the main MCU. Did like the entire cast of AC/AOS just swear off Marvel permanently. When can we get at least a name drop. I'm desperate here Feige help.

*Logan starts downing a bottle of Jack Daniel's* Me: my boys are finally in the MCU 🥺🥺🥺

Jokes wise, I think the movie was trying a little too hard with the unserious, jokey social commentary angle. Like that whole 'oh my friend identifies as a feminist' thing. Like, look, I don't know what that achieves. To either side of the political spectrum those jokes just end up sounding very clowny. It's not as if Marvel has ever been considered the pinnacle of progressiveness (cutting out gay Russo in Endgame for certain markets? Throwing CM2 under the bus when it was released during a strike? Letting the fans beg for almost a whole ass decade for a Black Widow movie, only to release it when Natasha is canonically dead?) They really don't need those jokes.

All in all: some jokes were a miss, but handled the multiverse and comic book roots pretty well. 7.5-8/10.

[positivelybeastly]

Would you consider beast being a closet bisexual @

"I'm an open heterosexual, thank you very much, and I would recommend that in future, you keep such speculation to yourself."

"Ehehehey, well, wow, that's quite the question, not often I get accused of being a closet anything, but, ah, pretty firmly straight over here, friend."

"Despite what you may have heard from the press or a certain ex-girlfriend of mine, I am quite firmly in the heterosexual camp."

"I think someone needs to have gone on a date sometime in the last year to be qualified to be anything sexual, no?"

"Asexual aromantic. And if you ask again, I shall be displeased."

"Do you have a pulse? Are you happy with scalpels in the bedroom? Actually, your answer to that second question doesn't particularly matter, we'll get you warmed up in no time at all."

All right, so this is one of those moments where I have to pull back the curtain a little bit and talk about how I play a character who is canonically heterosexual, but whom I read to be bisexual because it's truer to the character as I find them.

Now, you know, I actually misremembered how this conversation went? I remembered Emma saying that Hank had never had so much as a gay thought, but that's not what she says here. She say that Hank has never had any kind of physical relationship with another man, and . . . you know what, I kind of believe that to be true.

Because as much as I fucking love THIS moment, it's not a relationship.

We can all agree that a kiss is not a relationship.

However.

. . . Guys, Hank is, like . . . really queer.

This post sums it up nicely, but yeah, Hank acts in a very over the top, dandified manner, over speaking and over-exaggerating everything about himself so that you won't pay attention to the blatantly obvious. He performs masculinity in a way that reads as overcompensating because he feels like he's been othered by his mutation.

There's also panels like this.

"Flirt with everything this side of Boy George."

Boy George being the androgynous gay icon of the 1980s, yes?

And this is coming from Hank's girlfriend, who he has admitted in dialogue to only really being with because she feels stable and safe and familiar, a tether to his old life in a time when he feels without a direction in life?

Like, this isn't me putting words into Hank's mouth, this is HIS dialogue during a time when he was arguably his most heterosexual! Yeah, you could just read it as him having a wandering eye, because he's a very flirtatious fellow, but that really isn't how it reads, is it? It reads as, I need reassurance I'm doing adult, normal things while my life goes weird, abnormal places.

It reads as, I think I'm kinda fucking queer but I'm too afraid to admit it.

Because lemme be real with you, this is Hank at his most heterosexual, but there's. Some. Stuff. Going on here.

"I was GOING to go out on a date with you, really pretty girlfriend, but then my MALE friend turned up and I just got so excited that I went out with my MALE friend and am basically hanging on his every word and eager to impress him, while the straight people at the table (Isaac and Dolly) are on an actual date, and Overmind sounded concerned about three wheeling a date when they asked to come with?"

Ladies and gentlemen, I am a gay man, and I have never been in just a towel around my best friend while he scrubbed another man's back, because that's just a little gay.

Hey, did you know Bobby's gay?

I don't bring that up for any real reason, just, you know.

And then there's Simon.

Oh boy is there Simon.

From Earth-763, but.

Like.

Come on, man.

When Logan and Hercules did this shit, people were celebrating in the streets because it confirmed bisexual Wolverine, but when Hank and Simon do it, no-one gives a fuck.

But that's an alternate universe. All they've done in 616 is kiss (GAY), so maybe it's just, you know, horsing around.

Right?

Hank, you don't look happy to be put down.

Hank never smiles like this on the X-Men. I'm not exaggerating. I've read X-Men comics for nearly 20 years, and Hank does not smile around other people like he does around Simon Williams. He looks fulfilled. He looks free. He looks delighted, constantly.

Are you two gonna fucking hold hands, like, WHAT?

And you know what, let's talk about the X-Men.

Scott, for someone who said very firmly that Hank wasn't gay before, you don't even throw that in there first?

Is it because of what comes next?

I'm - sorry? What in the FUCK are you trying to say to me?

And let's, for a moment, turn to Dark Beast. Because he has some words on the matter.

You know what, yeah, Dark Beast does seem like the idea to suck, fuck, thrust and kill his way through a Tuesday night, honestly.

And look, I know that alternate universes are shaky ground to be drawing conclusions from, but, like . . . this is. Getting to be rather a lot of very suggestive dialogue.

Look, I get that there's not quite the same amount of outright coding that Bobby had before he was forced out of the closet (Cloud, Emma Frost's prodding at his mind, all the stuff stacking up across Lobdell and Austen and Liu), but it's still . . . questionable. Isn't it? Like, at this point, I have to question why we think Hank has to be straight. Which is why I don't think he is.

So, now we get to the point of the evening where I pull at the curtain, because how Hank talks about himself in my threads works according to a certain kind of logic - canonically, as of right now, 21st of January 2024, he's officially straight, so any references to canon events will be as if he's 'straight' but actually just closeted bisexual. Because I care about continuity and keeping my facts straight and drawing as closely from the comics as possible - within reason - but my interpretation still takes precedence.

And my interpretation is that Hank, at any point in his life, is a bisexual man who feels afraid to admit it. But here's the question you're going to ask - WHY is he afraid to admit it?

You could go with an answer that draws on canon, and point out that when he tested the waters with coming out as gay, Scott and Emma both basically verbally smacked him and said he wasn't.

But that's not my style. I don't personally read it that way.

In my mind, Hank considers coming out to be That One Last Step Past Normal that goes too far. Like, it's one thing if he's a blue furred, canonically kinky, canonically weird, basically canonically bipolar, canonically psychologically damaged beast, but if he's a blue furred kinky weird bipolar psychologically damaged bisexual beast, that's the point where people will turn on him and be disgusted.

I could see him drawing that invisible line and deciding, I have to keep this one aspect of me to myself because I can't trust people to accept that from me. I think Hank has conditioned himself to believe that being accepted is something he has to earn over and over again, in part because of how Xavier schooled the X-Men's train of thought on that, but also because, unlike Nightcrawler, he knows what it's like to go from passing to not passing, and experiencing that scarred him in a way?

Like, one of the last bits of good Hank content we got before Krakoa was that Christmas special where he's back at his parents' for the holiday, and he can hear them talking from downstairs, and they're their usual lovely sweet selves, but they mention wanting grandkids, and . . . for someone whose bedrock, whose psychological wellbeing, is so incredibly dependent on other people, especially his parents and friends, I could see him being terrified of threatening that, even if it means he has to hide a part of who he is (perhaps unnecessarily).

There may be a degree of that where I'm projecting, because I had to deal with my dad being very heteronormative for a while after I realised I was gay, and even though I was certain he wouldn't reject me because of it, it felt easier to just not challenge that and let it slide because What If, you know?

But I feel like it makes sense for how Hank is, with his very tenuous relationship with feeling accepted, and I feel like this also accounts for why Emma 'saw' that he was straight in New X-Men, because he's wound himself into a psychological knot to the point where he reads as straight telepathically, even though he doesn't act like it and isn't.

If there weren't hints, I'd be inclined to be like, okay, maybe I'm just reading it this way because I see myself in Hank and him being a bit more like me makes me happy, but then there are GENUINE hints. The Exiles relationship, the fact that everyone basically treats Hank as Simon's emotional support, EVEN HIS GIRLFRIEND, and then the DeMatteis comment from Vera about how he flirts with everything this side of Boy George.

This isn't looking at pre-Krakoa Logan and Scott and thinking, yeah, they have tension, they want to fuck, this is looking at this guy who is extremely sex positive, flirtatious, open minded, and hearing from his girlfriend that he doesn't confine himself just to the purely feminine.

And it's also, like . . . like, I've talked about this with my boyfriend, and people love to throw out the YOU'LL JUST SHIP ANYTHING accusation, and maybe that's kinda true for some people, but I find I don't do that. Like, there are people out there who ship Hank with Cyclops, and I'm like . . . sure, fine. I don't personally see it, but you go for it, my dude.

If I genuinely did just want Hank to be an action figure that I smash with other action figures in a gay way, I feel like I'd have a stronger reaction, but instead, I look at the way he is with Bobby, and with Simon, and even, to a degree, with Logan (pre Krakoa, obvs), and I'm like . . . this is not the way a straight man acts. This reads as a bisexual man who doesn't feel like he can be 100% himself because he feels as though he's already asking a lot of people to accept him as he presents himself to be.

Hank's entire character from, like, moment one makes so much sense when you understand that he's basically always playing someone else. Sometimes it's who he wants to be, sometimes it's who he thinks other people need him to be, a lot of the time it's who people want him to be - like, I was reading the 2004 Nightcrawler solo the other day, and Kurt is internally narrating about how everyone on the X-Men is just an emotional basket case EXCEPT Hank, and I'm like . . . THIS.

THIS RIGHT HERE, is what the problem is! No-one on the X-Men is capable of seeing that Hank is constantly performing, and just how exhausting it is. That's why Simon is such a breath of fresh air, because Simon doesn't need him to perform, he just needs Hank to be . . . fuck, man, he just needs Hank to be happy, because that makes him happy, and the sheer lack of self-interest inherent in that dynamic is such a GIANT part of why I think Hank finds Simon so attractive. Like, imo, Scott's so insistent that Hank isn't gay during the New X-Men arc because of all of this, because he fell for the act, because he thinks this is just another joke that Hank is gonna duck behind.

Scott is SO INSISTENT that Hank isn't gay, and it's like, bro . . . Scoot . . . how do you know? You barely know what you want on a good day, and you think that just 'cause you and Hank hung around in the OG X-Men locker rooms for three years that you know him better than anyone else? He was on the Avengers and the Defenders and he has so many friends that you just DON'T KNOW ABOUT. How. Do. U. Kno. Scoot. Like, in universe, if Hank was working his way up to maybe coming out, and using the excuse of a joke to do it, THAT kind of reaction, and Emma TELLING him that he isn't gay, would push me RIGHT back in the closet.

If there wasn't coding, if there wasn't a genuine basis to this, it wouldn't have come up in Exiles, honestly. Like . . . okay, so multiversal stories are an excuse to do off the wall shit, right, and especially make characters gay just to push and prod and see what actually changes, right, like Governor Logan and Hercules, but they can also reveal a good amount of truth about a character out of what DOESN'T change.

And on a meta level, like, SOMETHING made Jeff Parker think Hank and Simon worked. He didn't pick Hank and Bobby, he didn't pick Hank and Hercules, he didn't pick Hank and Warren - Hank has NO shortage of male friendships you could pick from, but he picked Simon, and it's because there's enough there that even if you don't buy it for 616, it makes sense for a multiversal thing. Which means there's SOMETHING THERE.

And Ben Percy, cursed be his name, only added to that with X-Force. The idea that Simon is somehow going to be the catalyst for whatever awakening of classic, GOOD Hank is going to happen is just so . . . like, he still clearly cares for Abigail? They were on panel doing the eye socket thing? But, and this is partly because of who Abigail is, the narrative did not change because of her presence. But it does when Simon's around.

Yeah, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes a cigar is something to unpack. Like, I really Do Not Know how Hank became 'the straightest X-Man,' because A) have you fucking read Avengers and Defenders, and B) even discounting ALL of that . . . do you not find Hank's way of acting to be a little . . . you know . . . effete? Like, yeah, it's an act, he's playing the dandy, he's offsetting his appearance, but there are other things you can do to offset the Beast.

So why does he always go back to the brightly coloured suits, the loud fashion, the high energy, the camp, the billion dollar words - to put it bluntly, why does he always seem to act just a lil' fruity?

So, yes, in my mind, he's a closeted bisexual man, and that's how I play him. Thank you for coming to my lecture.