#probably won’t do this again lol
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Tumblr Moments 2024
January
Steamboat Willie goes into the public domain
Luca x Alberto (Luberto) fanart from the story lead and co-director of Ciao Alberto dropped
Talking about the Percy Jackson TV show
TF2 Heavymedic is canon
MatPat announces his retirement from hosting Game Theory
The Hbomberguy death note post
Confused Ryan Gosling at the critics choice awards
Talking about Hazbin Hotel
Star Trek Threshold Day
The Elmo Twitter ask comic
Sonic X Shadow Generations Trailer Drop
February
Sonic 3 film teaser trailer drop
King Charles III gets diagnosed with cancer
Knuckles series trailer dropped
Deadpool and Wolverine trailer dropped
QSMP at the streamer awards
David Tennant at BAFTA 2024
Nimona drops on YouTube for free with subtitles
Photomatt being transphobic and people talking about it/making jokes about it
Pokémon Z is announced
James Somerton releases his response to Hbomberguy
March
Marijuana-induced tragedy prediction tweet
Dune part two came out
Minecraft wolf update
Roosterteeth shut down
Celebrating Akira Toriyama
Cursed cat Alastor
The entire FNAF movie on Spotify
The Bride and the Ugly Ass Groom
Waiting for ConcernedApe to finish his coffee for the Stardew Valley update
Avatar the last airbender started trending for seemingly no reason
April
The Great Boopening of 2024
Dan and Phil Crafts comes back for April Fools after seven years
Smosh Shourtney WeddingGate
Buck on ABC’s 911 is bisexual
20th anniversary Dannypocalypse
10-year-anniversary of Captain America: The Winter Soldier
The Solar Eclipse
1-year anniversary of the Owl House Finale
The Magnus Protocal episode drops
Keanu Reeves revealed to be playing Shadow in the Sonic 3 Movie
Friendpilled visitmaxxer
Yuri On Ice movie cancelled
Watcher paywall controversy
Beta The Owl House Bible dropped
Dungeon Meshi boobs gif
Helluva Boss Season 2B trailer dropped
Destiel would have been “balls deep” if CW hadn’t blocked it
Arizona Diamondbacks game is delayed due to bees
It’s Gonna Be May
May
Fighting off spam bots invading the #asexual tag
The Amazing Digital Circus episode 2
Classic tumblr star @justgirlythings got married to her girlfriend now wife
Kendrick Lamar and Drake beef unexpectedly gets onto tumblr
FaceTiming fan at a concert meme
Tears of the Kingdom 1-year anniversary
First look at The Last of Us Season 2
Supernatural actors DJ Qualls and Ty Ollson announce their engagement to each other
The King Charles portrait
Slurpy faggi, the first AI generated gay Star Wars character
Death of Kabosu, the dog from the Doge meme
Jensen Ackles talks about Destiel at purcon and says the confession scene was clearly romantic
Pope calls everyone a faggot by accident
Phil Lester goes blonde
Rebecca Sugar posts pearlrose art of Pearl shapeshifting into Greg at some point
Donald Trump found guilty of 34 felony charges
Helluva Boss Full Moon drop
June
Venom: The Last Dance trailer dropped
Jason Todd from the DC universe died again but was brought back quickly
Dragon Age: The Veilguard drop
House of the Dragon Season 2 Episode 1 release
Nintendo Direct that announced various games including but not limited to: a new Mario&Luigi game, a new Legend of Zelda game where you can play as Zelda, and an official translation of Ace Attorney Investigations 2 that has been region locked for 13 years
Doctor Who sutekh
Helluva Boss Apology Tour dropped
Presidential Debate
Urusei Yatsura opening parodies
Old unuploaded Technoblade video was uploaded to the Technoblade channel, mcyt fandom reacts
July
Ao3 down for maintenance for 10 hours
An Extremely Goofy Movie trends because of Maxley
Crowdstrike worldwide Bluescreen day
Moon Landing Day
Biden dropping out of the race Supernatural trending
“I’m not calling you a good boy” meme
Gravity Falls the Book of Bill drops
August
Olympics Chocolate Muffin guy
Deadpool and Wolverine releases
Why dis [____] look so mad? Meme
Legend of Zelda Echoes of Wisdom second trailer drop
Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart at the Olympics
Christmas trends for some reason
Drawing Hatsune Miku from different cultures
Sonic movie 3 trailer drops
Helluva Boss short Weaboo boo drop
September
Our Flag Means Death September 1st dickwads gif
Aftermath of Hatsune Miku’s birthday
Minecraft movie trailer drop
Ace Attorney Investigations Collection drop
Dracula Daily September 8th entry
Taylor Swift at the VMAs
Venom: The Last Dance Final Trailer drop
Friday the 13th
Dead Boy Detectives gets canceled by Netflix
Undertale 9th anniversary
Steven Universe Pearl x Greg art comes out that may or may not be by Rebecca Sugar themselves
October
Spooky month begins once again 🎃
October 3rd, a special day in many fan circles including Mean Girls, Full Metal Alchemist, Dracula Daily, Milo Murphy’s Law, and the nation of Germany
The Amazing Digital Circus episode 3
Out of Touch Thursday Friday
Minecraft Live new update
Digital Circus 1st anniversary
Sunrise on the Reaping cover drop
Rickrolling Wikipedia article poll
Sonic x Shadow Generations drop
Vatican reveals anime girl mascot Luce
Boops return for Halloween
November
Election anniversary of November 5th 2020
Arcane season 2 drop
My Chemical Romance announces new tour
DreamSMP world download drop
Spirk became canon
Sonic and Shadow twitter takeover reactions
Sonic 3 poster drop
Arcane season finale with three ship kisses
Helluva Boss Mastermind drops
December
Luigi Mangione
Dan and Phil won an RPF poll against Jesus Christ and Judas Escariot
Okami sequel gets announced at Game Awards 2024
Helluva Boss Sinsmas drop
Sonic 3 movie drop
Hazbin Hotel Abel drop
#been tracking these all year#probably won’t do this again lol#just wanted to try this out#tumblr#trends#2024#trending#new years
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let’s do some autistic meta knight headcanons!! over explaining my interpretation of meta knight yet again wooooo
this orb has NO idea how to talk to people!!! outside of work anyway. a lot of this is partially due to upbringing (suppressing his emotions all the time) but he does not know how to express emotions, like…at all.
this goes into a few things
1. yeah talking is hard. even after figuring out what he wants to communicate he will struggle. conversation can be so overwhelming, especially under pressure. he will need time lol
2. because of that, forming connections is hard. i really don’t think meta is much for shallow relationships, and certainly not early in the timeline. which also means he has very little experience with friendship. so a lot of the relationships he did have went kinda neglected, and issues that probably could’ve been worked on by talking became…*cough romk* escalated.
3. honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if meta convinced himself he couldn’t feel emotion (anymore) until like. katam-ish. he tried very hard lol
vulnerability is terrifying. (though this gesture here is also just comforting, like his little cape cocoon thing he does.)
unmasking—yeah im taking the mask thing very literally here—is a big deal and a very slow process for mk. i’m sure he has a lot of feelings on that lol. it served as a way to ensure no one could ever, y’know, see him.
i can’t say i think he’d ever fully ditch it—there’s always gonna be some days that are more stressful than others and if having it could help him get through it, it just makes sense. mainly when working.
it really is about vulnerability. granted, i don’t think he has the most expressive face (in my head every astral just tends to stare at things) but i doubt he has much control over it. can’t fake a smile but also can’t hide it. probably blushes easy because yeah, astrals; just look at kirby’s face.
just the idea that someone might be able to read his expression and know what he’s feeling before he’s ready for them to (or even understands it himself…) yeah he doesn’t want that
but emotional turmoil aside, i think his mask also hides a lot of his stims
remember that whole “suppressing your feelings” thing? yeah turns out that ignoring half your instincts isn’t a good idea. so in true meta knight style, he tries to stim as subtly as possible
1. he has the least control over his wings, so they will flick and twitch on their own. they’re usually a good indicator of how he’s feeling, not unlike the body language usually seen in cat ears and tails lol. flapping is also an extension of this of course, though he probably suppresses it more.
2. this also effects when he takes his wings out. pretty much every time he’s excited or nervous it just happens. kinda makes me wonder if his wing cape ordeal might also go into the suppression thing… (i’d say yes, but using a cape is also very comforting so it’s not necessarily a bad thing)
3. going back to the mask thing; he stims a lot underneath it. think like biting or pursing your lips. he bites his tongue and clicks his mouth. that sort of thing. his mask also makes it harder to notice that he is constantly sighing, humming, grumbling…all that
one nice thing about the mask though is that it helps a little bit with lights!!! woo
(look at him and his magically floating glasses)
sensory stuff—i think he’s mostly bothered by light and sound. maybe a bit of texture. he’s pretty sensory avoidant and perfectly happy standing off to the side not touching anything.
the one exception to this is physical affection, which is, despite all of this, most of how he shows affection. it’s a lot easier to hug someone than to try to explain your feelings for them, after all.
i think he would like pressure though. so that’s probably part of it. and i’m pretty sure there’s some connection in here to fighting (dang, is that the only way he knows how to get his energy out?)
anyway, pretty much all of this is in contrast to kirby, who i would gladly nominate as the champion of Doing Whatever He Wants. he might pick up a few bad habits, but he will never mask the way meta knight does. he might not understand how he feels, but he’s in tune enough to express it…usually.
this is a very good thing for meta because it helps him to do the same thing. kirby’s so energetic, it’s hard to not want to stim with him. it reminds meta to be kinder to himself and explore his own emotions. he can also help kirby understand themselves, so this connection is very important.
yeah, at the end of the day, everything kinda just boils down to kirby and mk as parallels
this is the conclusion i promise
to me, meta’s arc is about growing stronger by growing kinder, and this is mostly by learning to be kind to himself. letting himself be a person again, loving and understanding other people, and eventually, letting go of all the expectations placed on him and doing the things he’s always wanted to do…
autism headcanons are fun for me because it’s cathartic to write, but at the same time, it just makes sense in this sort of narrative. meta is, to me, inseparable from these things. and so is kirby! that’s a dynamic that’s a lot of fun to play with, and it’s at the heart of my kirby interpretation.
if you actually read all this WOW thank you
#i almost considered not posting this on a wednesday but then i wrote everything and uhhh yeah i think i gotta so#happy cringe day wednesday#for as many notes as i have on these characters i really don’t talk about it much#but meta knight is a special case because i am terrible at subtlety and he wouldn’t be meta knight without it#so this is to contextualize some things#because of what ill have in the next few days haha#basically these are just things i consider when writing meta#but a lot of it is subtextual and i dont know how well it comes across#kirbyposting#kirby#meta knight#headcanons#autism headcanon#this is practically an essay lol oops#i have like 2/3 of a fic that explores most of this in a way i probably won’t do again#but we’ll see if i ever finish it#god kirby concepts are so fun to chew on#i overthink everything i make so much lol
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First time drawing them vs recent time
#art style shift you love to see it#pretend this is a year recap#I never draw kenma seriously so he doesn’t count#maybe I should start giving him real eyes again… maybe…#I resisted giving Tora curly hair for so long but I folded :’)#IT LOOKS GOOD OK?#I fucking yassified him this is the effect of becoming gradually more hyperfixated on a character#I probably have older Kenmas from middle school but I have no idea where to find them lol#why did I make fukunagas ears so big holy shit#kenma is from May and the other two are July#fukunaga shouhei#yamamoto taketora#kozume kenma#nekoma second years#I won’t do all my tags tho cause these are reposts
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I’m back from beyond the grave
telltale batman revived me im pretty sure
anyway enjoy these doodles :)
#batman art#batjokes#batman#bruce wayne#the joker#john doe#telltale batman#telltale batjokes#traditional art#also I am SO sorry for not posting in forever I took an extended break from social media and school stuff became overwhelming 🥲#BUT IM BACK and (hopefully) I won’t drop off the face of the planet earth again#also sadly the obscure supervillain showdown is probably not going to happen lol#not too many people seemed super interested so for the time being I’m not going to do anything with that#but if by some miracle people start submitting again then maybe I’ll start it back up
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a strange trend in my favorite characters I realize is that I tend to heavily gravitate toward somewhat obscure, antagonistic forces
#shoutout to the multiple months when I was young when I was obsessed with flatwoman#‘who the fuck is flatwoman’ heh. well. you ever watch the pbs kids show peg + cat?#she appeared in like two episodes and let’s just say. I would’ve died for her as a kid#and yup ok you guessed it this trend continued with my boy pumpkin daddy#what thehell is wrong with that guy and more important question why is he my absolute favorite character of all time#I’m not even talking strictly about PDBC here alright? in that I have full control over him#in ROOTS? oh boy unstoppable force of nature someone Actually euthanize him or something he’s going to commit heinous crimes if left alone#he’s So bizarre mind if I just talk about that before going back to sleep? his morals are all over the place#‘this poor abandoned child. her mother should be ashamed of doing this to her. anyway let’s kidnap her for money’#and then he fucking pretends that he didn’t remember that happening#not that it DIDNT happen but that he just doesn’t remember it??.okay go off king??#at this point I don’t even know if he was lying he might just have Alzheimer’s or something he’s gettin kinda old#also Alzheimer’s is the worst word ever I have to look it up to spell it every time ffs so annoying#also worth mentioning that he almost got himself killed in a pursuit of someone’s money#and then not even a YEAR later he was back at it again trying to scam the SAME people lol GIVE IT A REST#I didn’t type lol this is travesty istg I didn’t type lol there there’s a lol ghost on the loose#he needs to be put down or something#and why the hell is he actually one of the nicest parents like huh?..?man what??#yeah this is my little science experiment I made solely for money. i love her she’s beautiful she’s awesome#my brother in Christ pick a side are you horrible or not#ok also wait that reminds me. it was unintentionally implied that he wasn’t evil once#I won’t go into it for the sake of time but. raises eyebrow. what the hell do you mean#at least I think it was unintentional. it’s still weird to me and I never bothered asking#anyway I should probably go back to sleep I have n appointment in like. two hours. sigh#yayyyy I love characters who suck!!! 🥰🥰🥰 pop off you asshole king and or queen
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I’m not cut out for even slightly more intense health issues than my usual stuff yall so here’s my will for when i die of feel too bad disorder: i’d like to dedicate my few life achievements to all the sapphics out there and also they can have all my stuff i guess
#i did not go to a doctor yet because i was better yesterday#and it is now worse again!! rude!!#now i have to consider going today🙃#i do have a few general health issues but i don’t ever get sick or anything#so now im an absolute WIMP when it comes to feeling bad#im ready to fight whoever invented feeling bad cause it is not fun!!#also ready to pass away so pls enjoy my objects i love them a lot#you guys don’t get to have my books though please bury them with me as my final request#you can however keep my degree which is useful as tinder or perhaps a part of a decorative stack of useless papers#this is a joke and im over exaggerating and probably fine btw#just some things acting up probably not anything bad or serious#however the only thing im yearning for rn is for this to go away#so probably won’t have enough yearning for women to make many posts#unless i find some in my drafts or some such#idk#but i wanted to post about it since i know sometimes radio silence gets yall worried#so!! im good just going through it lol
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Yk sometimes I wonder what happend to people I use to talk to in those “cringe” hobbies I enjoyed. I don’t think it’s cringe but I think some might.
Who here was in the Umbrella Academy fandom and made a discord server where we made OCs with lore and everything? Mine was Zelda, had technology powers I think? I think she was number 2? Had burn scars on her face?
Who here did RP in a gc on this app and we were all a side in a Manson and we’re all part of some creature/monster/mythical creature? I was Virgil and I was a witch with a cat. I think the Patton was an empath and someone was a wear wolf? I think Logan?
Like those are all gone but like I miss yall this is my call out to reveal yourselves because I wonder how you all are years later
#mof talks#sanders sides#the umbrella academy#Virgil sanders#Thomas sanders#Patton sanders#Logan sanders#Roman sanders#remus sanders#janus sanders#the sanders sides#ts sides#tua#tua ocs#idk whatelse to tag to maybe reach out lol#this probably won’t make it far#I still wanted to send it out#who knows maybe I’ll find one of yall#who knows maybe we can do it all over again#yk for funsies#or maybe we can just talk#or maybe we just ignore this#doesn’t matter#Hope it finds you all well
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Some theories, thoughts, and answers to questions that are in the works that I need to attempt to write out sometime, but probably won’t until I eventually reread Hollowpox on my eternal reread:
What led Squall to try and revolt? Was it a decision by himself, with others, or was there a third party involved? What is true and what isn’t?
What is the fallout and aftermath of Mog’s actions at Courage Square, and what might her future as a budding Wundersmith in Nevermoor look like?
Christmas Eve: is it a Distraction, is there a Ghostly Hour involved, is it related to the Massacre, and how could it relate to modern Nevermoorian religion and Squall’s exile and Eventide activities?
Maud: does she have a knack or some sort of power, how and when does she use it, what is her dynamic with Squall based on, and why is he so scared of her?
Miscellaneous Silverborn Masterpost additions, on a rolling basis as I (or anyone else!) thinks of things.
#and then eventually everything I’ve mentioned that I’d crosspost over here because I reference it in posts and then never do#nevermoor#nevermoor theory#not yet but um….. soon…… ish……………#I won’t get these out for awhile probably but. am bored and have nothing else to post so. sharing a peek at my drafts!#some of these are answering asks people sent or extrapolating on other posts#so here’s a reminder that I always love discussing any thoughts and theories so feel free to send them my way :)#also some of these I’ve talked about before briefly in other posts or on discord and just never put on here#there’s prob some other things I’ve been needing to crosspost on here but I literally can’t remember what rn oops lol#I also need to edit my theory masterpost / navigation but ummmm not rn lol#I can share like a first draft of the Maud one but I want to approach it again after I reread Hollowpox and think abt it on a larger scale#(I put it in a reddit comment and then am sad when it predictably got no attention lol)
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series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:
#‘why do you gatekeep hw from your irls?’ well. the thing is. i just ✨don’t want to✨#and. like. i’ve already led my family to believe that i bought bl manga when i was buying idol sengen at animate#so i think im already past the point of no return in that regard. so. um. yeah.#thank you village vanguard for the unexpected μ’s content in 2k24 you truly are yappa saikyou#i s w e a r falling back into my ll phase almost 10 whole years after i first got into it is unexpected tbh#compounded with the fact that i can now actually afford whatever im looking for. so. like. my wallet is in crisis lol#i had just reached my savings goal last month but now i’ve overspent bc i saw great deals on resold honoka-chan hoodies and i couldn’t help—#so now i have 2 identical hoodies lol. but i’ll keep one of them safe in its packaging bc im unwell like that ig#my merch whaling is out of control i s w e a r but my oshis are just too cute aaaaaaaaa#i probably should open another savings account instead… maybe that’d keep my spending under control…#b u t for now honoka-chan jersey im looking for you#tfw ur oshi is decently unpopular amongst the fans so hardly anyone resells her merch lmao#so ig the relatively fewer fellow fans she has are more dedicated to her than fans of other more popular characters lol#but at least her stuff (when resold) isn’t as overpriced as the actually popular members (birb and tomato)#so my wallet isn’t crying as hard as it could’ve been? ig? hunting for almost 10 year old merch is a pain fr though#either way. the grip idol series have on my wallet is truly insane#i wonder how many bags of chips i could’ve bought with the amount i’ve spent on hw and ll merch to date…#at least a thousand… i think. maybe even 2 thousand if my past gacha game whaling is taken into consideration…#…this is probably why it’s important to have a decent paying job ig.#oh well. at least i may be making b a n k this month with how much ot i’ve had to do this week so far…#i hope i won’t have to work till 5am again over the next 2 days… that had been a horrible experience.#help what am i even talking about anymore why am i having a life crisis right here and now u m.#anyways. dni if you dislike honoka-chan. thanks for coming to my crisis rant. see you when the last stage mv drops ig ok byeeeee
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I like how I drew her face
version with blood below.. the more “canon” death of real Hinako. didnt really like how I drew the blood so I didn’t put it as the main drawing oops
#yttd#art#drawing#your turn to die#キミガシネ#yttd fanart#hinako mishuku#spoilers#blood warning#real Hinako Mishuku#the woman in the back is not midori!! she is the character from Kai’s minisode.. unfortunately no name for her so#this is the most rendered drawing I’ve done these past few months lol#I probably won’t do it again. trying to look at some of my favorite artists and use more colors shapes fluidness.. bleh#also this took too long lol#I do quite like it though#I could’ve made it better but i wanted to work on other drawings so.. here you go! looks finished enough#I think
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Ask me about scars, and I’ll tell you about battles.
#Neopets#first AC ever#lol!#now I know why people were dreading it#I probably won’t do it again unless they update it
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im tired as shit how’s everyone else doing <3
#i’ve done nothing all day and i’m still tired love it when that happens#i’d say send asks about stuff (again lol) but i probably won’t answer until tomorrow and i’d feel bad doing that#arte.txt
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world decided to be nice to me and let me dream of bakura and let me interact with him but now i’m yearning So Bad
#oddshipping#head in hands. temptation to go back to sleep just to see if it’ll happen again is so high but it’s already noon#i was thinking of him so much yesterday. i swear i do every day but at least my brain was nice to me today#this stands out to me a lot because bakura is. prickly and mean and bad and terrible and i still love him so much#but of course the insecurity of him maybe Not returning those feelings creeps in sometimes#but having a dream about him. getting to feel close to him even if only for a moment#makes those bad questions and thoughts about him not liking me go away for a little#i already can’t even recall what the dream was lol oops#i just know we were stuck somewhere and we were trying to get out and he looked at me a bit more kindly than everyone else#i was a little bummed to wake up i won’t even lie…..#will think of that for the rest of the day probably. boyfriend <3
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Hey losers and losettes,
I’m in the very early stages of starting a little diy zine about horror movies! I have no experience in this so advice is appreciated lol. But I’m hoping to have it out by July. I’m calling it PHOBIA and the theme of this one is summer horror, so not strictly ones that take place in summer but they got the vibes. Along with the horror theme there’s also gonna be a smaller section about upcoming music/concerts/etc too. Going to attempt to have it in print but it may end up digital if that’s easier for me. And I’m having open submissions!
I’m open to all things, art, reviews and rantings, movie recommendations, original fiction or horror poetry, even your urban legends (got a story about a evil ice cream truck lol I’d love to hear it!). The subjects so far are:
House of wax 2005
Sharp objects 2018
X 2022
Texas Chainsaw 3d 2013, though I haven’t watched it yet..
Hopefully Maxxxine 2024 if one of my local theaters plays it when it comes out
Music, so if you want a shameless plug of your band hit me up!
And anything else I (or you) can think of
So if that’s something your interested in email me at: [email protected]
#m talks#or of course you can dm me on here too if you want#I kind of have no clue what I’m doing but I want to give it a shot#yeah even if you just want to say that house of wax is the worst movie you ever saw or whatever that’s good too I like variety#I probably won’t really distribute this anywhere may be able to get a shelf spot out a local record store but that’s about as public as itl-#get in the irl world. as for online or like snail mail idk bout that yet either but am open to it#would love to send a copy to anyone that contributes also#but um yeah! hmu! we trying to get creative in here lol. also yeah I’ll probably reblog this a few times then have it replace my pinned for#a while too. again advice is welcome from anyone experienced in the zine or art world out there#queing this for in the morning for reach#also have to go brush my teeth#oh yes and I need to make a mag tag hold on. okay here it is->#PHOBIA mag#okay now for the shameless attention tagging#zines#zine promo#horror zine#house of wax#sharp objects#x 2022 movie#x 2022#texas chainsaw 3d
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also cringefail double vent posting over things that are not actually that big of a deal once again lol but i am so fucking miserable today in ways i don’t even know how to articulate. i need to move out. i know exactly where i want to live but they raised rent $300 and i can’t afford that but i want to live by myself so badly but my parents are adamant that i can’t bc i can’t drive and im a “diminutive inexperienced young woman” and i want to punch something. i read half of the drivers manual and cried reading it which is fucking stupid bc it s just the drivers manual. but i want to move out so bad. i hate sharing a room with my sister and im not getting the new room anymore bc we don’t have money to finish it up bc my mom is still sick and no one knows what’s wrong with her and she has to get all these tests. i never have a space i can go to that’s just quiet. i don’t want noise. i don’t want to block out noise with more noise. i want QUIET. i don’t want to be afraid to go into rooms or hear noises i don’t want to hear. and i don’t want to be living here for the three extra months it’ll take me to ng et my permit. im just done. i don’t want to live here!!! and things at work suck and are exhausting and draining and so unbearably overwhelming and i feel terribly lonely and disconnected from everyone and small and scared and i don’t have energy to fix any of it or explain what’s going on or ask for help or get a therapist or whatever. and i keep pulling muscles in my neck. and i want to go to sleep!!!!!!
#purrs#also 3 years ago today i found out i was getting sent home from brighton because of covid. FUCK covid. i am so lucky i haven’t gotten covid#and i hope i never ever get it but this pandemic truly ruined my life in some ways. why am i 24 sobbing hysterically over studying for a#test 15 year olds pass with ease. why am i terrified to step out into the world and do whatever. because being locked down for a fucking#year and a half made me lose hope over and over again until i couldn’t bear to have hope anymore that’s why. and now i guess i can again but#there’s nothing there to work with and part of me doesn’t want to work with anything anyway. i just am stuck in survival mode. i don’t want#to just survive. but every day is like being blasted with a firehose and im exhausted and overstimulated all the time and nothing feels#fully real and i just don’t have the energy to try to change things so i surrender to it or something. idk. it’s not like im the only person#experiencing that and that should help. but it doesn’t. im so angry about what this fucking nightmare pandemic stole from me and how i will#never recover from it or if i do it wont be for decades probably. and i can do things to fix it all right now but instead i want to be angry#delete later#also i probably will never feel comfortable being around even 1 person without an n95 mask even if covid goes away. which it won’t. so lol
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i do have problems unfortunately. and issues. plights, even
#sorry for my rant about zines i’m embarrassed about it i won’t delete it though. probably. i might#i’m a known deleter#i’m just mentally ill idk i actually do have a lot to say about a lot of things but i’m just majorly depressed these days.#don’t have energy to say stuff. then ill get some energy to say stuff and it’s like. talking abt zines at 9am. why this#and when the low hits again i’m like why did i even bother🧎#i miss not caring i miss being on twitter and typing out every thought entering my brain i hate being mentally ill lol#anyway!#delete later#devin.txt
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