#PHOBIA mag

[transsexual-divinity]

Hey losers and losettes,

I’m in the very early stages of starting a little diy zine about horror movies! I have no experience in this so advice is appreciated lol. But I’m hoping to have it out by July. I’m calling it PHOBIA and the theme of this one is summer horror, so not strictly ones that take place in summer but they got the vibes. Along with the horror theme there’s also gonna be a smaller section about upcoming music/concerts/etc too. Going to attempt to have it in print but it may end up digital if that’s easier for me. And I’m having open submissions!

I’m open to all things, art, reviews and rantings, movie recommendations, original fiction or horror poetry, even your urban legends (got a story about a evil ice cream truck lol I’d love to hear it!). The subjects so far are:

House of wax 2005

Sharp objects 2018

X 2022

Texas Chainsaw 3d 2013, though I haven’t watched it yet..

Hopefully Maxxxine 2024 if one of my local theaters plays it when it comes out

Music, so if you want a shameless plug of your band hit me up!

And anything else I (or you) can think of

So if that’s something your interested in email me at: PhobiaMag@protonmail.com

[magpiethepunkfairy]

The emotional crash and anxiety spiral that hits immediately after hanging out with someone

Did I do good, did I socialize right, did I sound cool, gods do they hate me now, was I to weird, was I to much, did I talk to much, did I have enough to do, I miss them, do they hate me, God I fucked it up probably, whyd I say that, why didn't I say that, do they think I'm weird, do they like me, did-

It exhausts me, but I can't turn it off

[googleincognitomode]

thg headcanons:

(Trigger warning for phobia, trauma and psychological mentionings)

the Hawthornes have a family song/lullaby: the “I love you song” ( Frankie Valley LOVE song). It all started out with mr h and hazelle having a dance to the song, and then gales dad just starts sing to hazelle and his kids to ‘brighten up their lives’. Gale n hazelle continues on the song to sing the kids to sleep, cuz it is a sweet thing that makes them think of the good times before the chaos.

katniss uses unscented shampoo and conditioners. she hates the reminder of it’s artificial, unrealistic, inauthenticity— like the Capitol. By being unscented and not having any connection to the Capitol, katniss allows herself to be free and unbranded. peeta always uses fresh or sweeter scents: maybe like mint and chamomile. But he ends up smelling like backed good at the end of the day

haymitch is Madge’s godfather like figure. he is close to her mother, due to being connected to mayslee. cuz of this, the undersees trust him a lot and have so much faith with him. he even cares a lot for Madge too, wanting what’s good for her.

Johanna, from the hjacking, developed a phobia of any form of water. cuz of that, she couldn’t take a proper shower or bath for a good couple of years, and won’t visit district 4 (also the pain of losing a close friend). she would clean herself with watered rags and wipe her body clean. she also cuts her hair short, never too short, but short and asks Annie to wash her hair for her— which she always does and hold her hands telling her she’s okay.

To add on, I think Katniss develops on onset phobia of needles. After all the trauma and abuse she got from the capital and the revolution, she hates the idea of needles, cus it just trigger her fight-or-flight reaction to protecting herself. Especially all the episodes of being unconscious, drugged up or injuries beyond repair.

Annie, I think, would want to become a psychologist, or something incredibly similar in the future. She learns to become better and helps other with similar situations to improve themselves to become more at ease. She specifies in trauma/addiction and childhood psychotherapy.

The mellarks adopt another cat and name it dandelion. Similar to the flower/plant motive of the Everdeens name, but also cause it reminds katniss of peeta. Dandelion, the cat, would be blonde with white in it. And it would be always there at the corner of katniss’ eye

Finnick has a massive book collection and poetry collection at his place. Him, Mags and Annie all have a ‘Book Club’ group and talk to each other

Finnick can’t sing anything other than sea-ship songs. Like those old-times pirate/ sea songs. He also sways a little when he stands too still for too long— an old habit that died hard from his youth his his dad owning a boat. Annie smtimes joins him w his singing, and mags too

[acatfullofcogs]

! I haven’t completely finished TMA !

not that anyone asked BUT for me personally, there’s 3 aspects to the “personality” test that is the 14 fears. As Gerry explains, they all tend to bleed into each other like colors, so it’s hard to pick just one.

The way I categorize it is

1. the fear that best represents what your most specific phobia is

- For me, the idea of The Watcher definitely scares me, but I think The Vast would be more likely to really get to me because of my specific fear of thalassophobia.

2. The fear you would be most excited to serve

- I want to be a The Hunt or The Flesh girly SO FUCKING BADLY.

3. Whichever fear best highlights the specificities of your personal brain

- I’ve never had any media better able to encapsulate my specific mix of diagnoses than MAG 19-20, Confession and Desecrated Host, which are both mainly centered on The Spiral or I’ve seen some attribute it more to The Desolation

So my top three would be The Vast, The Hunt/Flesh, and The Spiral. At least that’s how my brain organizes it!

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

I know, I rarely donate money from Ukraine… Unfortunately, there is too much going on in the world (This is also the reason why there are mainly collections from Gaza, seriously, I'm only human, I wish I could do more, but I can't… I just take more than I can bear, I would really like to support all countries, all people, but I cannot, not enough, that I don't earn money and I don't have a bank account, and therefore I can't donate to collections, because of ASD and social phobia I can't take part in public strikes…)

Now that I have your attention:

-----------------------------------------------

The only thing I can do is try to make the collections reach people, or say directly what I don't like (Yes, I'm looking at you Harris and your fans), unfortunately, in 2020 I couldn't take part in strikes in my country either (Nagonka against LGBT+ people and the ban on abortion on a damaged fetus) precisely because of the things I mentioned, the only thing I could do was to publicize it, and this is one of the main features of activism (apart from involvement and boycott), although, as I mentioned in another post, ableism in left-wing activism is unfortunately a big problem, and people prefer not to talk about it because they consider it too little significant problem (It does not help that many people with disabilities recognize that that ableism is ok and because of this they attack other people with disabilities, which is depressing…)

Remember to collect at the top!

[amandacanwrite]

Amanda Cessor • A Writeblr Intro

Hey everyone! I'm Amanda Cessor and I write historical fantasy and romance. I have words published in Merciless Mermaids (An Anthology,) Full Mood Mag, and I have my first novel coming out with Inked in Gray Press.

I'll be posting tips, essays, creative nonfiction and excerpts from my work here, as well as documenting the process of publishing my first book with a small, independent press. I hope we can be friends!

The Novel is called "With Love, Juniper" and the little elevator pitch is: Herbalist and witch Juniper, who suffers from severe social phobia, finds herself caught between the courtships of her oldest friend, Oleander, and handsome, influential stranger, Theo, while trying to deal with the expectations of her parents and the members of the small village she lives in.

I have entirely too many projects I'm currently working on, behold:

A Dawn Without Ashes -- Vampire Romance, Stand Alone (for now?)

Projected Word Count -- 100k

Setting

Fantasy Anachronistic 1920's vibes, in a land where Vampires rule and humans are seen as little more than a food source.

Synopsis

In Oubliette, Vampires rule from the shadows. Humans are considered pests at their worst, beloved pets at best. Orianna is the lowest of the low, an impoverished thief awaiting her sentencing after stealing coins to buy some food. When the charming Count Diable hand picks her as a commodity for his blood-brothel, she worries she has jumped out of the frying pan and straight into the fire.  

She has no idea how true that really is until she meets Atlas, Count of House Lune, darling of the Empress and and keeper of a secret that could change everything. Not only for her,  but for all of human kind.  

Of Foxes and Follies -- Fae Meets Peaky Blinders -- Trilogy

Projected Word Count -- 100k

Setting

Fictional version of Scotland, which I like to call Not!land and actually called Dimloch, around the 1910's or 1920's.

Synopsis

Rheannon Todd has a debt to pay. A debt she plans to pay by stealing from drunken guests at a Midsummer Soiree hosted by the notorious gangster known as The Magpie.

What she doesn't know is that The Magpie is more than just a charming card sharp with a penchant for cruelty. He's a member of the Unseelie Court and he doesn't much like being stolen from.

The Hallowed Wilds -- Serial on Hiatus -- Grounded Romantasy

Setting

Pseudo Appalachian small town in the 1840's.

Synopsis

Ezra lives near a mysterious forest called The Wilds. People who go in there tend to not come out, but even as a boy he feels drawn to the strange place. One day, when his parents are out, he sneaks into The Wilds and meets Aurelia, a strange, beautiful witch who has lived in the forest since she was born.

What starts as a beloved childhood friendship develops into a star crossed love over the years. The fear in the village and the brutality of the witches in the forest threaten to tear them apart.

Currently on Hiatus, but you can read about 60k of it here!

Red Skies -- Standalone Novel -- Pirate Romantasy

Projected Word Count -- 100k

Setting

Psuedo Imperial open world around the 18th Century.

Synopsis

Cordelia Shurka will do anything to provide for her family. She's worked herself to the bone since she was a child to keep the house afloat after her father vanished from their lives. When things get too hard, though, she seeks to raise her station by marrying herself to the viceroy. It seems an easy trade, her utter devotion and obedience in exchange for finally having the security she so desperately wants.

On her wedding day, the thinks she's finally out of the woods. That is until handsome pirate, Edric Davenport steals her for himself.

Want Updates?

If you happen to be interested in getting updates on any of these projects, you can join my tag list here!

[jellyfosh]

Is the R.S. scared of anything? Like do they have any specific phobias or events they don't want to happen again? -BK

these are my head-cannon of their specific phobias/fears/events in this AU

Chosen - Doesn’t like going to zoos since it involves cages. - Doesn’t want to be chained/enslaved - Fears that the Kill Code will take away Dark again - Bro fears all safety of the gang. Just internally Dark - Has an unconscious fear to Second (prior to the Showdown) but he doesn’t remember it clearly. - doesn’t like Alan (slowly trusting) - Doesn’t want to lose his friends Navy - The ‘Firework’ accident - Losing Purple n Mags - Doesn’t want to feel useless or Pitied Mango - The Minecraft accident - Losing Purple - Hands/Advancement but doesn’t remember

- Added character fears - Agent Smith - Dogs (Slight) Vic - Losing Carmine - Claustrophobia Hope you enjoy

[thatpodcastkid]

Magnus Archives Relisten 16, MAG 16 Arachnophobia

Oh mirror characters, we're really in it now.

MAG 16 analysis, spoilers ahead!

Facts: Statement of Carlos Vittery regarding the manifestations of his arachnophobia. Statement given May 1, 2016.

Statement Notes: oh no.

Okay, starting gently. I was particularly intrigued by Vittery's methods of denial and level of cognitive dissonance. He always knew there were spiders in his garden, but didn't feel the need to move until he actually saw them. He knows Major Tom probably isn't killing every spider, but he's okay pretending to believe it. He lives in a state of willful ignorance because what else could he do? With such a crippling phobia, how else could he be expected to live if not in denial?

I also noted Carlos' increasing bravery, as well as his increasing willingness to commit acts of violence. Bravery may actually be a strong word, as he is simply more willing to kill spiders to eliminate his fear. This is a strategy the Web utilizes often to push people into becoming, if not avatars, harmful to others. Can someone be called brave solely because they enact violence on that which they fear? Did Vittery become stronger or weaker? Did he become more courageous or more of a coward?

Carlos also becomes increasingly isolated as the episode progresses, largely due to his fear of spiders outside his flat and the way the spider may take over when he leaves. He also doesn't seem to have any close friends or family to intervene or help him as his phobia worsens. This is notable because, with no one to rationalize what is happening to him, Carlos descends further into fear.

Vittery also strangely emphasizes the "stylized blue owl" on his mug. Does this come up again? It seems like a logo, but for what?

"Completely encased in webs." Not a few. Not covered in spiders. But completely encased in webs.

Entity Alignment: If Hill House can't be called the beginning of The Web's ritual and Annabelle Cane's plot, this episode can be:

Vittery didn't move into the new flat until he saw the spiders in his old one. He lived there for years and sat in that garden many times without seeing any spiders, when suddenly dozens descended on him. The Web forced Vittery to move so that he would become Prentiss' victim. His new flat holds the silver worms that infect him. This is where Martin is attacked. This kicks off the season 1 conflict. This begins the end. This gives the Spider everything she wants.

This theory is furthered by the fact that the spider haunting him prevents Carlos from leaving his flat and encourages him to give up Major Tom, removing his ability to escape or kill the worms.

The Web is known to play the long game, so it's entirely possible that it has been arranging this since 1991 by sending the spider to scare young Carlos. However, I also like the idea that the Web had several options it could send to the Boothby Road Flat, but specifically chose Vittery due to the intensity of his fear.

Character Notes: This has been said before, but it is so eerie how similar Vittery is to Jon. They both live in willing denial of their fears. They both act irrationally in the face of common problems. They both respond to their feelings in extremes or not at all. They both are proven right. They are both haunted by the ghost of the spider that ruined their childhood.

I have a...concern about the implications of my earlier web theory. Many fans cite MAG 22, in which Martin describes his escape from Prentiss after investigating Vittery's apartment, as the moment when Martin and Jon's relationship softens. I personally believe this is when Martin's feelings for Jon began to form, and Jon began considering his feelings for Martin before fully experiencing them in the season finale.

But if this episode is prompted by the Web and Martin's investigating part of Annabelle Cane's manipulation, then is Jon and Martin's relationship also a part of their plan? Cane clearly needs Jon to open the other universe. She really only seems to use Martin as a lure for Jon before the series finale, kidnapping Martin to tempt Jon to Hilltop Road. Is that the whole point of Jon and Martin being together? Would they ever have found each other if Cane didn't need to prepare her bait five years in advance?

[sorryichasedyourmorning]

Depressing Characters in Repo! The Genetic Opera

This is mainly a writing about Mag, Shilo, Nathan, Luigi, and SINGLE MOM (Why do you guys all like Single Mom so much). But yeah! Welcome to my analysis of sad Repo characters and WHY THEY'RE DEPRESSING. Of course, here are the disclaimers of topics mentioned in this short little essay thing:

Exploitation

Power Imbalances

Abuse

Child Neglect and Abuse

Suicide

Mental Illness

Discussion of Sexual Themes (Not in a weird way, don't worry)

Self-loathing

---

First off, let's talk about Shilo. Shilo was completely lied to by her father, and her case doesn't need much explaining, as she is one of the most explored characters in the films. She lives her entire life being poisoned and trapped in a room, and when she discovers this, she doesn't even have the opportunity to seek closure, as her father is then murdered in front of her. Shilo now has to make up for the missing years of her life with no one around her to comfort her, having watched her only other family besides her now deceased father quite literally kill herself on stage. This leaves her destined to now have to find her own guidance in a world where she now has to work through the trauma procured from the events of the opera.

---

In an order of connecting things, Nathan. Nathan has to deal with the blame and self-loathing of a murder that he didn't commit, even dying believing that he was always truly at fault. The death of his wife and the fear of how Shilo was almost taken for him haunt him, leading him to have a deep phobia of people leaving him. Nathan uses this as motivation to poison Shilo and push away all other people in his life, stating that Shilo had died, therefore leaving him with a person that would be able to provide a sort of echo chamber for him, only knowing the loving and kind side that he showed her and knowing no other mannerisms of his, leading him to have an endless source of appreciation.

Through his career as a Repo man, Nathan begins to take on a sort of split personality, switching between the personality of a father with a passion for science and a psychotic man whose only purpose is the track and kill his victims, thus showing the corrupting manner of his career.

---

Mag is the definition of someone who is absolutely fucked over by quite literally ever factor in the film. She deals with a horrible life with GeneCo, a loveless relationship (See below), loss of her closest friend and goddaughter, who is presumed dead by the society outside of the Wallace house, a debt that she can never fully replay, self-hatred due to actions that aren't of her own, and a contract that, per a theory I stated in a previous post, may have been completely unfair and left her unaware of the main issue of it.

The subject of Mag's death is argued about, mainly on TVtropes, this regarding whether or not it counts as a suicide due to the fact that one reason that she chose to go out this way was due to the fact that she wanted to finally be able to control at least one thing in her life. I personally would rule this as a suicide due to the simple definition of the word, as well as connecting factors of the lyrics in her songs alluding to trauma and self-loathing. There's also the factor of how she needs to maintain a perfect exterior for GeneCo, and like the Largos, is not able to show weakness and is forced to simply not stop smiling and give the public what they want to see.

She won the poll of saddest character, for the record, which compared to all of the little Twitter things you can snag from the Largo Twitters, lyrics of her songs, and simple observations, this can be seen as quite understandable.

---

Back to connecting things, we have Luigi. Luigi has an incredibly active Twitter that gives us a lot of information on him, such as the fact that Rotti wasn't exactly always there for him when he was a child, which can lead to an inference that he grew up being praised for this violent behavior. This also leads to Luigi's inability to have a real relationship, as shown by the fact that his Twitter highlights a relationship that he had with Mag.

In this relationship, he tried to keep his feelings out of it and leave it as a purely sexual thing, but his posts do show that he does want something more than that, but due to his inability to express his feelings, he is never able to have this.

---

To try and lighten the mood (Even though this is another sad stuff analysis), let's talk about a character who actually got multiple votes, Single Mom. As @mahoukat said in the poll comments, Single Mom represents consumerism and the exploitation and fetishization of the impoverished. She initially needed a kidney transplant simply so that she could stay alive for her children, but didn't have the money for this. In turn, she was given a full-body makeover with the condition of her exposing herself on live television, a complete exploitation of her impoverished status to cause her to do something that could potentially ruin her life with friends and family, as well as harm her chances of finding new connections.

---

The comments are an OPEN FORUM!! I really like reading your comments and reblogs, so ye!!

[dbhstruggleposting]

Detroit: Become Human OC posting!🧡

I will try and fit everything into one decently sized post, but I'm MEGA AUTISTIC about my own OC, so lol! Some context: Finn was made before I even owned DBH, and before I saw anything related to DBH. He's actually originally a TF2/COD OC, but he's become just a DBH OC. He's a RP OC, specifically for a plot post in-game events (Failed Revolution, Deviant Connor).

!!!ACTUAL STUFF BELOW CUT!!!

Name: Finnigan 'Finn' Ryan

Age: 25 (12/24/2013)

Gender/Sexuality: Cis Male, Bisexual

Physical Appearance: 5'10", pale white with freckles across his entire body, green eyes, curly/fluffy ginger hair, Sleeper Build (strong twink)

Fun Facts: Has a very expansive CD collection! Owns a male betta fish named Sail! Him and his brothers all have names with double letters! He's a retro game/music nerd! Allergic to Pineapple but eats it anyways!

-

Lore!🧡

Born and raised in Ancorage, Alaska, Finn used to be a quiet shy kid who spent a lot of time taking care of his twin younger brothers Matthew (Matt) and Maxxwell (Maxx), before moving to Detroit, Michigan and getting into street racing and drugs during college (weed, he's clean now, but still likes to drive real fast). He graduated with a Masters in Criminal Justice and joined the Dertroit Police Force as a cop/detective, specifically working on civil and family cases Pre Android Revolution. In all that time, he avoided androids due to his mild phobia of them, a result of strong Uncanny Valley feelings, and preferred to work without any Android interference. Despite his fear, he ended up purchasing a cheap domestic Android, which he named Micha. He treated Micha like a science project, keeping him deactivated at all times to allow Finn to literally fiddle with the Androids insides, trying to understand the mechanics and code. It was a bad attempt to combat his fear and only made it worse. Post Failed Revolution, in which Hank dies, he's offered the opportunity to work with Connor in Hanks place. He takes the job, convincing himself it'll pay better, and he can work on his phobia if he's directly partnered with an Android. During the first mission, he feels out of place and anxious, having to shoot a deviant to save Connor. He's borderline terrified of Deviants, of how *human* they are, and almost immediately regret taking the job. The regret gets worse and worse as each case seems to result in nothing but him and Connor in danger. He yells at Connor, gets frustrated at himself, ect. Even so, he and Connor get closer and closer. No longer does Finn feel gross looking Connor in the eyes. Hell, he starts to *like* being around Connor. Only after a bunch more cases, some drunken/sleepy rambling, and a run-in with Gavin and Kamski does he realize he is, in fact, in love with Connor.

-

ANNNND I DONT WANNA RE WRITE THE WHOLE ROLEPLAY PLOT HAHA I MIGHT POST ABOUT IT OCCASIONALLY THO CUZ MAG IS SO GOOD AT WRITING AND I LOVE THE PLOT SO FAR!!!💙

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A silly character sheet made by https://x.com/cparrisart/status/1475535559984656392?t=C0mS8IXcyrh4209yGACaWg&s=19

-

I WILL be self-indulgent. I literally made Finn and started the role play BEFORE I even knew the actual plot of DBH!🧡💙

[magpiethepunkfairy]

What's the overlap and differences between like, rsd, morality ocd, and social anxiety or phobia (and the differences between those two things honestly)

I'm assuming there's got to be like different criteria even if they might feel similar sometimes, how do you know which one your feeling/dealing with?

[the-gentleman-sockmonkey]

Damned AR-7 eats everything. Wanted to help @sockmonkeys-babygirl with her turkey phobia, and the targets are a good first step. We'll clean it, stuff the mags full of CCI Stingers, and stuff it in the bugout bag...😁🖤🦃🔫

[papersparrows]

🌷 First time kong mag EK for some reason sa tinagal kong nabubuhay sa mundo hahaha. Ewan ko, I think lagi lang talaga akong tinamad sa thought na bumiyahe pa-Laguna para lang magrides before kahit taga south lang din naman ako (pero nakarating sa ibang bansa para mag disneyland at universal ano hahaha). Magbibirthday na kasi mudra at sister ko, magkasunod sila. And eto trip nila this year eh since iilan na lang naman kaming magcecelebrate at ayaw nila magparty nang bongga. And yung sis ko kasi gustong-gusto niya ko mag EK since di siya makapaniwalang di pa ko nakarating doon hahaha. Siya kasi nakailang balik na with friends. So sabi ko sige G kung yan gusto niyo hehe.

🌷 Masaya naman din pala, ang lala nung ibang rides huhu. I was never afraid of heights and dati gora lang ako sa lahat nung extreme rides bcoz adrenaline pero once you reach a certain age.... medyo kakabahan ka na eh HAHAHAHA. Parang di ko kayang ulitin yung drop tower tsaka space shuttle huhu. Pati yung twin spin. Actually pati na rin yung jungle log jam, dun yata ako pinakatakot. Dahil lang dun sa wala kang seatbelt or anything yun yung pinaka nakakatakot na aspect sakin like alam ko namang medyo s****dal ako paminsan pero ayoko namang mamatay nang ganon hello ??? Like wdym kakapit lang ako sa basang bakal tapos yun na yun?! Never again

🌷 May sakit na ko ngayon pero hopefully saglitan lang to. Grabe kasi yung kapaguran buong araw lakad takbo. Naglaro pa kami nung paintball. Di ko naman inexpect na ganon pala yun ????? Ang sakit pala pota ??? Akala ko parang wala lang kasi pintura lang naman as in para ka lang nag water balloon fight. I was so wrong!!! Hahaha. Pagkabili ng tickets nagulat ako pinapirma ako ng waiver 😭? Then nag explain na yung marshall kung anong gagawin jusko ginusto kong magback out pero too late na HAHA. Masaya naman!!! Sabi pa nung marshall samin kinakabahan daw siya panoorin kami kasi ang tatapang daw namin puro sugod hahahaha. Anyway ang sakit matamaan nung bala parang bato.

🌷 Bago nagclose yung park, sumakay kami dun sa rio grande. Nakasakay na silang lahat tapos sabi ko pass muna ako since super sakit na ng katawan ko. Kaso umulit sila at gusto akong isama kasi ang daya daw dapat daw mabasa din talaga ako. Sila pa nagplano kung san ako uupo, so yun sakto sakin buhos nang buhos yung tubig. Basang-basa yung dress ko after ang haba pa naman ng dress ko so super kadiri and uncomfortable natulo pa nga HAHA. May dala akong pamalit, kaso ayaw pa nilang magpalit ng damit since paclose na park gusto humabol sa rides last minute. So pinatakbo nila ako habang tulo nang tulo damit ko sobrang wtf!! I do not recommend. Nakakaiyak mumsh hahahah :(( Then sa pinaka last ride namin pumasok kami dun sa Alcatraz na horror house. Actually ayoko talaga kaso mapilit si sister. Tapos di naman kami aware na may mga actors pala talaga???? Eh malala phobia ko sa mga taong nakacostume ng clown, mime, zombie, multo, etc etc!!! Tapos yung in character pa!! As in MALALANG PHOBIA. So sorry nang sorry kapatid ko kaso too late na nandun na kami. Iyak lang ako nang iyak at sigaw the whole time ang tagal matapos. Sobrang bangungot huhu. Nasigawan ko pa yung isang lalaki dun na kasama namin from another group of friends, akala ko kasi bf ng sister ko. Bf kasi niya yung nasa pinakaunahan para di kami yung unang makakaranas ng scares. Eh akala ko siya yung isang lalaki, so sinigawan ko yung lalaki dahil akala ko nga si bf ni sister sa sobrang takot ko sabi ko "MAUNA KA!!!!!! MAUNA KAAAAAAAAAAAA" paulit ulit HAHAHAHA tas saka ko lang narealize di ko pala siya kilala HAHA 😭😭😭😭 so todo sorry ako nakakahiya hahshwjakkskekr.

🌷 So ngayon nilalagnat na ko sa sobrang pagod at takot na naranasan ko sabay naulanan pa hehe 🥲 but it's ok masaya naman!

[the-great-kraken]

was listening to the season 3 q+a and this?

yeah, it WORKS

mag 75 was already an episode that felt tailor-made to terrify me personally (phobia of heights + falling gang), and then jonny went ahead and set it 15 minutes from my house. i scare too easily for this, i think about it pretty much every time i go there

[kaphyr]

The Long Defeat Chapter 42 | Excerpt

“It’s like you’re on a swing ride in an amusement park. At first, you’re there waiting for things to happen, and for gravity to mess up with you. After a while of waiting, it starts working, and slowly you’re reaching a frightening height. And it’s not like you have a phobia, but you certainly feel things as your chest starts tightening, you think it’d explode. Then, it’s swinging and you just want to scream or jump or whatever, but you can’t do that. You’re tied and scared and there is no way you’d reach solid ground.” ― Nesrine Benahmed, Metanoia: Different Shades of Life

Katsuki and Deku go to the rankings. There’s a lot of talking. Part 2.

Fic Link: The Long Defeat

Excerpt | BKDK

“Get comfortable,” Katsuki says; he’s found exactly what he wants.

CW: under-negotiated bondage kink, dubious consent, and (unsafe) bondage.

When he goes back to the bed, Deku’s still in the bathrobe so Katsuki fights him out of it. Once he’s out of one sleeve, Deku accepts his fate. He lets Katsuki lay him down flat, pillow out from under his head, arms raised―Katsuki tries not to look at the scars crawling up his right arm.

He shakes his head and tries to focus back on Deku’s face, his half-lidded eyes.

The silk scarf whispers soft as he wraps it again and again around one leg―shin to thigh. It’s soft and cold but when Katsuki puts his hand over it, over where the cloth cuts and the flesh spills, Deku’s so warm. Katuski tightens the scarf some more, watches it cut deeper and then knots it off like one of those emergency knots.

He keeps going, making sure Deku’s legs can’t unbend, scarves and ties pinching at his thighs and shins and ankles. Tight enough that he can’t even slip a finger through.

Fuck.

And he does it all over again. Slip. Knot. Slip. Tight. He pulls so hard on one tie it nearly tears and Deku whines like he needs him.

Fuuuuck. Katsuki reaches for another scarf but there’s nothing left. He grinds his teeth but it’s fine. Even if he can’t bind Deku’s arms, his chest, this already has them both hard as fuck.

Katsuki grabs his thigh―high, where there’s nothing but unmarked skin―and squeezes hard enough to leave a print and it’s… so good. He doesn’t quite look like the girls in the mags. This feels too messy, too random, but it’s fucking gorgeous and he knows the marks it’ll leave later will be even more beautiful.

Deku’s legs spread a little and they stay bent just how Katsuki left him. He drags one leg to the side and Deku just lets him, lets himself be seen.

Now that he’s all exposed, Katsuki can’t help but grab his ass, feel him tense up as he moans and then relax as Katsuki massages deep. His legs tremble but don’t get in the way.

“Hold.” Katsuki makes him keep his hands on the pillow, up above him, and steps back to admire.

Deku blinks slowly, cheeks flushed pink, lips stained red, chest rising and falling with deep breaths. His legs are spread wide and his cock is fully hard, tip glistening. “Kacchan~! Are you gonna fuck me, please? ‘M ready, just need to be opened up a little.”

Katsuki goes back to his luggage and gets some gloves and a fresh pair of underwear. “Open your mouth.”

Deku giggles but obeys so Katsuki puts two fingers in his mouth―a small indulgence. He pets his tongue, feels it lick up his knuckles. Once he’s slobbered all over his fingers, Katsuki takes them out and replaces them with his balled up underwear.

Deku’s face gets even redder as he breathes heavily from his nose.

Katsuki trails his wet fingers over Deku’s chest, his pebbled nipples, his twitching abs, his navel―bypasses his dick, earning him a whine―and then rubs at his hole. “Don’t you want me here?”

Deku grumbles around his trunks, raising his hips, cock flopping from side to side.

“What, want me to play with this thing?” Katsuki points at his cock and Deku raises his hips again, gets his cock to brush against Katsuki’s hands. “You sure?” He dips a finger in and Deku is so very tight. Katsuki pushes one of Deku’s legs up to his chest and spits on his hole―to Deku’s indignant fussing―and slips the finger to the second knuckle.

Deku tenses, mumbling.

“Open.” Katsuki smacks his thigh so hard he leaves a faint, red print. “I’ll get the lotion, but first, open up for me.”

Deku frowns but then his hole doesn’t feel like it’s fighting him just as hard and Katsuki can sink it fully in. He’s hot there, burning. And his cock looks so hard and red and Deku moans in that plaintive tone.

Katsuki slips out to fetch some lotion―there was no way to get actual lube without someone seeing the package or him getting recognized in the pharmacy and he wasn’t about to ask Pikachu and let him be insufferable in his DMs.

He coats his fingers then the outside of Deku’s hole. When he puts a finger back in, the slide is smooth and Deku’s moaning happily.

Katsuki immediately adds another finger, smiles as Deku’s dick jumps and drools. He fucks in slow, makes sure to turn his fingers, let him feel his fingers go deep. And every time Deku rolls his hips, Katsuki meets him with just as much intensity, his other hand squeezing one asscheeks.

Right as Deku plants his feet on the bed, trying his best to fuck himself on Katsuki’s fingers, Katsuki puts a hand on his dick. When he starts to cum, Katsuki holds him, makes sure to point his dick so he cums onto his own stomach.

When his hips fall back to the bed, his chest heaves and his eyes are dazed. Katsuki takes him more firmly in hand and places his thumb at the slit. He rubs there once and Deku’s legs close around him.

Fuck. He can’t stop. Katsuki rubs a little faster, focusing on that head flushed as red as Deku’s cheeks.

Deku reaches down, grabbing his wrist.

Katsuki lets go, takes his fingers out of his hole. “Put your hands back up.”

Deku keeps his eyes on him, eyebrows furrowed the way they are when he’s outraged Katsuki doesn’t treat everyone with kid gloves.

“Up,” Katsuki says, voice stern. He pinches Deku on the inside of his thigh and Deku twitches but doesn’t squeeze.

Deku keeps frowning but obeys.

Katsuki spreads his legs again―as far as they’ll go―and gives a hard smack to the bare skin; Deku grunts against the underwear but stays where he’s been put. “Good.” And then, he adds a bit more lotion and this time, he puts three fingers in.

They slide in easily and Deku rolls his hips in tandem―even if Katsuki starts playing with his dick too. He pumps him slow, fucks his fingers in even faster and when Deku closes his legs around him, Katsuki goes faster, harder until Deku’s groaning against his underwear like a fucking slut.

This time, Deku throws his head back and doesn’t fight the hand that strips his dick until he’s coming and even past that.

Katsuki swallows. Fuck.

Deku looks tortured, shaking his head, screaming into the gag, clawing at the pillows, legs trying and failing to move Katsuki off his dick―and Katsuki can’t stop.

This is better than the magazines, better than being sucked off, better than the fucking wet dreams. Just having Deku looking at him with tears in his eyes as his pathetic dick shrivels and twitches. Deku comes, dick completely soft. It just dribbles out of him and he cries, muffled and pitiful. Fucking sobs, toes all scrunched up.

Katsuki rips the underwear from his mouth, dying to kiss him.

“K-Ka-Kacchan,” Deku cries, takes deep breaths. “Wanna―Kacchan please. Need―”

Katsuki kisses him and Deku grabs at his shoulders, fingers clawing at his back. Katsuki squeezes Deku’s dick and he fucking screams in his mouth.

Katsuki’s half-surprised when Deku puts a hand on his cock and he finds himself so hard he might cum just from that. He gives him one stroke and Katsuki pushes Deku back, disentangles from his hands that pull at him. He kneels by Deku’s head so he can fit his cock there.

The moment Deku has his lips wrapped around his cock, Katsuki grabs him by the neck and cums. He groans through it, lazily thrusting his hips as Deku drinks his cum, hand squeezing Deku’s neck for those sweet, little gurgles and gags.

Katsuki takes a breath, watching Deku’s body. His pink dick. His flushed chest. His lips still wrapped around his cock.

“Gonna sleep here?” Katsuki asks.

Deku tries to mumble around his cock but when it’s clear Katsuki’s gonna keep him on his cock as long as he wants, he rolls his eyes and nods.

“Good.” He pulls his cock out but keeps it at Deku’s lips. “Lick me clean.”

“K’cchan’s so demandin’,” Deku croaks out.

Katsuki tugs sharply at his hair but he just moans and diligently sticks his tongue out to dispense his own little torture.

Like this? The you might like the Dekubowl fic it came from: The Long Defeat! And if you really like it, I am open to commission <3

[thatpodcastkid]

Magnus Archives Relisten 16, MAG 16 Arachnophobia, Spoiler-Free Version

MAG 16 analysis, spoilers-free!

Facts: Statement of Carlos Vittery regarding the manifestations of his arachnophobia. Statement given May 1, 2016.

Statement Notes: I was particularly intrigued by Vittery's methods of denial and level of cognitive dissonance. He always knew there were spiders in his garden, but didn't feel the need to move until he actually saw them. He knows Major Tom probably isn't killing every spider, but he's okay pretending to believe it. He lives in a state of willful ignorance because what else could he do? With such a crippling phobia, how else could he be expected to live if not in denial?

I also noted Carlos' increasing bravery, as well as his increasing willingness to commit acts of violence. Bravery may actually be a strong word, as he is simply more willing to kill spiders to eliminate his fear. Can someone be called brave solely because they enact violence on that which they fear? Did Vittery become stronger or weaker? Did he become more courageous or more of a coward?

Carlos also becomes increasingly isolated as the episode progresses, largely due to his fear of spiders outside his flat and the way the spider may take over when he leaves. He also doesn't seem to have any close friends or family to intervene or help him as his phobia worsens. This is notable because, with no one to rationalize what is happening to him, Carlos descends further into fear.

Vittery also strangely emphasizes the "stylized blue owl" on his mug. Does this come up again? It seems like a logo, but for what?

"Completely encased in webs." Not a few. Not covered in spiders. But completely encased in webs. Jesus Christ.