#look I am insane I’m aware
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#erasermight#all might#yagi toshinori#aizawa shouta#inktober#mightober#mightober2024#eminktober24#hehe first day! two different challenges in one go! yippeee#look I am insane I’m aware#feels good to dig out the inks#my art
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this needs polishing up but i’ve been listening to it for hours and need to give my ears a rest. in the meantime, here’s a turbo-inspired song WIP! the brainrot is terminal i fear
#wir#turbo#wreck it ralph#i feel insane tagging the fandom ermmm WHATEVER. LOOK AT MY AMATEUR MUSIC BOY#giddly’s music#no id#no cover art yet so…. gmod missing texture 🫶#i’m not great at mixing yet and like i said it’s still a wip i am aware it’s rough around the edges [so scared. soooo scared
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i’m stuck on the thought of aegon and larys’ dynamic changing throughout the series bc as it stands aegon is the alpha male ideal to larys’ incel loser that aegon’s friends mock when he’s not looking (but they work together anyway even when aegon can see all through his bullshit. freak recognizes freak)
i wonder how that will change when aegon is disabled and larys is offering him solace. do they get closer? do his ableist friends all abandon him and he takes all the comfort he can get in that moment? i wonder if when larys poisons aegon (something he was willing to die for) it’s personal - what else would it be for, the good of the realm? that might work for book!larys but i struggle to think of his show counterpart like that…
#it’s probably not going to be the way i imagine on the show but i’m looking forward to see what they do with it anyway!!#also i am aware of the implications of calling aegon an alpha in god’s tumblr site.#i’m going slightly insane fr fr they’re kind of made for each other???? 😭 < just saw larys behind aegon when he’s beating tf out of cheese#on the preview. behind every gay person there’s an even more evil gay person#the way they wrapped up the filming with larys’ quote to aegon. :) yaoi of the season jacegan could never compare#house of the dragon#spoilers#if you haven’t read the book#aegonlarys#larygon
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Whodave thoughk that the thing to get me actually posting my art here again would be The Legend of Zelda: You’re Not Gonna Believe This
#I’m so happy this game was literally Made For Me….. other people might complain about various aspects of it but I Am simply Looking Away.#every part of it is so tailor made for me it’s insane……. They shafted link in an actually nice way! It’s in the Links Awakening style!!!!#it’s puzzles ALL the way down!! even the combat!! is just puzzles but you can throw rocks at people!!!!#she gets her own fairy companion dude…. ;-; ;-; look at her go….#and the echo staff’s design?????? it’s like. what if we took the dominion rod.#and made it even More to your taste and also you can summon apparitions and furniture with it#like????????#like okay cool cool cool I’m so normal about this actually don’t even worry about it#anyway#oh also she’s ambidextrous I guess#that’s not a part of the game as far as I’m aware. I just don’t pay attention to what I draw#loz#the legend of zelda#loz: eow#loz eow#the legend of zelda: echoes of wisdom#the legend of zelda echoes of wisdom#echoes of wisdom#eow#princess zelda#eow zelda#loz tri#eow tri#cosmic creations
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“Rui & tsukasa are so gay” & they’re not even the gayest ones in their unit. Look at me. I love ruikasa. But just because Rui seems to have made it his personal challenge to be as gay as possible does not mean this gayness transfers to tsukasa.
I think there’s a lot to be said wrt tsukasa’s side of the dynamic and how he’s less obvious with his affection than Rui, and how his behavior with Rui differs from how he acts with others, but that requires analyzation and we know 80% of ruikasa fans aren’t doing that.
Pairings I would say have more textual Gayness going on than ruikasa:
- anhane
- minoharu
- shizuairi
- akitoya
- kanamafu
- mizuena
- emunene
- wxs meiko and luka
- literally every interaction saki has had with a female character ever but especially with the rest of Leo/need
#no this isn’t a post for you to go exactlyyy I hate ruikasa why can’t two boys just be friends#I’m still insane about them. I’m just self aware.#tsukasa does act differently around rui but his side of the dynamic is more uhhhh#what’s the word. look. it’s about what he allows and what he encourages and what he chases.#you’re not gonna get lines on par with ‘muscles split like a crab’#youre gonna get him seeking out rui’s company and protesting rui’s freak behavior while still participating/encouraging it#and seeking validation from him and playing up his reactions and dropping the ‘I am super responsible and mature’ act around him#it’s about what he doesn’t do. not so much about what he does.#mine
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✨ Star Friends ✨
When I found out that @chessman-protocol boy Crit liked Astronomy, let’s just say I was beyond estatic and immediately planned this little comic. Here’s to my boy Vincent doing his best to make friends with folks who share similar interests 😅💙
Funny enough, I didn’t realize I put this in Vincent character’s until I looked at the whole thing, but Vincent very much shares the lack of stranger danger the way I did/ I do to this day. To quote one of my past managers I’m “abnormally friendly” or whatever
I can’t tell you how many times even as a small child (drove my parents nuts) that I saw a cool person with whatever connecting factor and I just straight up walked to them and was like “Ok cool. We’re friends now.” And nobody’s really stopped me? So apparently I have friends now. 😆
Vincent however is just a wholesome baby boy who doesn’t realize he’s actually an intimidating hunk of a turtle and randomly walking up to strangers and not saying anything can be taken the wrong way.
Like I said, he’s trying his best. He wasn’t exactly the most socialized if you can’t tell, but he does love dearly and is certainly a boone of a friend to have once you get past the inevitable social awkwardness. He’s loyal to put because he really doesn’t know better, and I adore him for that. Anyway, dunno if Crit knows any ASL or not, but either way Vincent is just excited to meet somebody else who likes space ✨🌌 💙
#just being jayus#doing this ugly and scared#my boy <3#Vincent my beloved#rottmnt original character#rottmnt oc#original comic#rottmnt#save rottmnt#unpause rise of the tmnt#time to go feral in the comments again; please ignore the ramblings of an insane person#Fun fact: Vincent is mute (late mutation and didn’t fully develop vocal chords) and so he only speaks turtle and partial ASL#Morrocoy Tortoise AKA Yellow or Red Footed Tortoise bop their head to assert dominance and show emotions#Head hopping and headbutting is Vincent’s tic and you can tell how he’s feeling by how fast or slow he goes because it’s a VIBE#Working on this comic was like the preverbal attempt of taking a horse to water#except this horse is a pony (anything under 14 hands is of the devil) and would not even spare it a glance unless it was perfection#Alas mockery and spite is unfortunately my demise and I could not handle the blank page any longer#Can you see how my style changed when the focus and subject changed?😅#Forgive me my son#for I have not learned to draw you from all angles yet.#Why did I make you so pretty and detailed in my head and yet have my hand betray you?!#The true tragedy is when your idea level is not at your skill level bECaUsE I KnOw wHaT hEs SuPpOsEd To LoOk LiKe BuT I CaNt DrAw HiM yEt#So here we are and I am accutely aware of how much work there is to be done. I’m looking at you flippin turtle anatomy#But hey we all have to start somewhere#so here I am#I tried and by golly I will keep trying. Vincent deserves that much 😅🧡🫡#I just looked back at this and realized I MISSED A STINKING PANEL. And Vincent’s shirt.#Flips a table in my mind#Also I’ve never made a mute character before so if anybody has notes especially about ASL PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E lemme know.#Wanna make sure I represent the peoples correctly 🫡🧡
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Quick disclaimer, I’m going to talk about an NSFW topic, so if you’re not into that please scroll away now!
But, with that out of the way, here’s my Thoughts on a Thing. So, call me crazy, but I’ve been thinking about this topic for a while and after recent events I’ve come to a logical conclusion.
SHMK should, and I cannot stress enough how genuinely I mean this, have gay sex for plot reasons. Here me out!
Shu has IMMENSE issues with repression, and he always has done because of the environment he was raised in, and while he’s worked through a fair amount of those issues by now one glaring thing that still remains is how averse he is to anything sexual. There’s an entire story dedicated to exploring this aspect of his character (Astrae’s Atelier)! One part of that story is that someone from his school in Paris who is distinctly not averse to sexual stuff at all becomes very interested in Shu, to the point where they leave drawings of nude models and even porn magazines in his room to try and convince him that sexual things are normal (surprise surprise, it doesn’t really work). Kuro even finds out about this and brings it’s up again later on in the timeline, to which Shu is still clearly uncomfortable with it.
Mika on the other hand isn’t sexually repressed at all, much like the fan from Paris, and we know how openly horny he is all the time. But above his honrniess is his absolute loyalty. He would never do anything to harm Shu and would do everything to protect him and make him happy, recently including even digging up a grave to confirm or deny the reality of a story that Mika knew Shu wouldn’t like the ending of. He also still really struggles with comprehending how important he is to Shu, being willing to sacrifice himself in every way possible for the sake of Shu’s happiness without realising how that self-sacrificial nature is exactly what’s hurting Shu, and is incredibly insecure about himself and his abilities.
Them having sex is, I believe, genuinely going to be SO helpful for both of them. Because with the way Shu is Mika would be forced to realise how important he is to Shu since there’s no way he would do such an act with just anyone, and Shu would have to realise that sex isn’t the shameful act he’s always thought it to be and can be just another way to show someone how much you love them. On top of that, the act itself is inherently supposed to be one of mutual pleasure, it puts them on completely equal playing fields no matter how much they may want to value the other more than themselves.
Both of these characters are adults at this point in the timeline so it wouldn’t exactly be taboo to talk about such a thing, especially since sexual themes have come up in Enstars before though they’ve never truly been explored. And on top of that, since it’s now implied that they’re canonically together, it’s the type of topic that would be completely natural to explore with these two since sex is a normal thing in most romantic relationships.
And I’m saying all this as an asexual btw, so it’s not as if I’m just looking for excuses to sexualise the two because that’s not what this is about at all. I just whole-heartedly believe that it would actually be beneficial both to their relationship and to their personal development, and that this is something that can and frankly, in my opinion, should be explored in their future stories.
I SWEAR I’M NOT DELUSIONAL HERE, IT ALL MAKES SENSE!
#enstars#shumika#itsuki shu#kagehira mika#sab actually posts#fun fact btw: aside the last two paragraphs this is almost word for word copy/pasted from a rant to my girlfriend in discord DM’s#but anyway! yeah#that’s my rant for today#I know that we as a collective group of Enstarries often joke about how maintenance is just sex#and while it’s not really canon (as far as I’m aware at least) I don’t doubt that serveral cast members in-universe genuinely believe that#(see my tier list in that exact topic that I posted yesterday)#but for as many jokes that get made we know at the end of the day that’s not what actually happens#but I unironically think it should happen#let me know your thoughts on this! I’m really interested to see how other people react to this#am I gonna start a shmk gay sex revolution or will I just look insane? we will find out
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The mortifying ordeal of Blog You Respect and Think is Cool reblogging your Self Indulgent AU with tag comments on every chapter
#ra speaks#stressing myself out bc my silly self indulgent au caught their attention and not the main story I’ve been polishing for over a year#*screaming* it’s fine it’s cool its cool it’s fine#I really admire their ethics and share this interest w them so it’s like. oughhghhh it’s okay you don’t need to look at the thing I made#it’s been months too since I wrote the first half so it’s like WHAT IF I DID STUPID SHIT???#edit: they stopped reblogging w tag comments and are now chronologically liking the chapters. is. is that good? are they queueing them to#avoid spamming? are they like oh it’s not actually that good let’s just quietly read the rest to be polite?#<- I’m aware of how fucking insane I sound. I am acknowledging my stupid social anxiety
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i said i wouldn’t do it this time but it’s 3am and mods asleep. boy
#welcome to another episode of Luke is insane abt hockey boy!#this time featuring a guy who is actually this time almost (ALMOST) confirmed to be queer#the almost is partly me being insane because I don’t trust anything anymore#but like. there are only so many reasons you wear pride converse. that is not ally behaviour#it just threw me this time I think bc I’d been like no. heterosexual. bc I think I became aware of him when he joined the real hockey team#because the OTHER problem is that the whole time I’d been thinking he was cute as hell (bc he is) and simultaneously being like no. bad.#anyway this meant that I have actually talked to him a bunch without overthinking it this term which honestly has been very cool#not like a whole lot but we’ve played together a decent amount and hopefully will keep doing that#and yesterday discovered hes recommending other people talk to me abt goalieing which is insane to me bc I am truly not that good#but apparently I made an impression!#anyway it does not help that this guy has gotten incredibly good at hockey in the past few months#idk man I make bad decisions (I say as if this was a decision) bc it is now the end of term once again <3#which means absolutely nothing can or will happen until after summer. which isn’t an issue#I’m just frustrated by my tendency to realise these things right before I’m about to not see the guy for X period of time#I also desperately need to stop crushing on hockey boys I swear but in my defence that is the main way I meet people#I think I’m cursed actually. that would explain many things#anyway he also has exams until next Tuesday which means he’ll be at hockey next week but idk abt this week which is devastating#i just wanna have talk to the guy more honestly to see how that goes bc we’ve not rlly talked individually for an extended time yknow.#in other words we have not had A Conversation it’s been groups or like quicker exchanges#he’s kinda quiet but i can’t quite tell which way yknow. I know he’s Watching basically all the time. and he is slightly awkward#which is also kinda cute. he gets a lil rambly when he talks abt hockey and I wanna push that button more#i. topsy if you’re reading this you’re gonna laugh so hard I just realised. he’s captain of the team now.#which sidenote is INSANE bc he started playing with them THIS YEAR#but oh my god. okay.#anyway. I need to start complimenting guys more for multiple reasons but also#1. he dresses very cool 2. he caught me looking at his shirt last week without saying anything (BEFORE I caught the rainbow converse)#i compliment women on their clothes and jewellery and hair and shit all the time but I do not with men bc. I mean do I need to explain.#but this is so unfair I am haunted by existence of boy and here we are once again. posting on tumblr with the possibility of seeing him lik#two more times before summer. might be three or four depending on what he comes to#luke.txt
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desperately trying to act normal while not being able to think about anything other than the MWIII reveal tomorrow
not because i’m like. super pumped for the story and buzzing with excitement over it. i’m excited for it y’know but i’m not clawing at the walls desperate to learn more this very second.
i’m just. so fucking nervous because if this trailer doesn’t have yuri that’s a very bad sign 💀 i’m gonna actually lose it if he isn’t in the reboot and the MWII trailer revealed a lot of the cast iirc so if he’s not in the trailer tomorrow—
i just need him to come back. i miss him so much. i’m fawning over makarov rn but if i catch even a single glimpse of yuri i’m going feral. words genuinely cannot express how obsessed with him i am, and if i see him it’s fucking over for everyone who follows me because their dashboards WILL be flooded with him.
#like i’m actually physically aching because i can’t relax when thinking about him#i am PRAYING that he’ll be in the trailer#i can’t fucking handle this wait#i’m already insanely anxious over unrelated stuff and this is sending me over the edge dude i have a headache 😭#<- no i am not mentally sane. i’m well aware that i’m obsessed with a fictional war criminal#pretty sure the event is dropping around noon for me??#idk how it’s gonna go since it’s an in-game thing#hopefully i won’t have to wait long for info skfhwk#i’m gonna combust i swear to god#can’t even tag this one since i don’t wanna look insane in the fandom tags 💀
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I put on 00s 10s pop and I feel sleep descend upon me. Sorcery
#the minister speaks#or it’s the piece of buttered bread I ate#the whole houses air is dry I’m dry everything is dry#I have an allergic reaction on my lips again it’s driving me insane#and my brain and body are in cahoots and won’t let me sleep#it’s four AM. hell#and I am still sick#I’m convinced nyquill is going to kill me btw#yes I’m aware that’s normal I am considering looking into therapy again#*NOT normal#I took nyquill the night before last and was fine
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if i could time travel back to august i would tell myself that it’s not worth it to submit my own script for consideration for this class and i would rather just work on someone else’s. i think i flew too close to the sun there. would quite literally rather be in the boy group than doing this shit rn i’m so over it and it hasn’t even started 😐 “we have to make the budget” “we have to get the documents ready to be printed” girl be so serious we have two months to fill out these fuckass forms. printed when. three weeks from now? you want me to wake up at 8am on a monday morning to meet you so we can spend 15 minutes filling in forms that we won’t be printing for at least 2 weeks. a task i could easily do on my own from the comfort of my couch. you want me to meet up with you so we can discuss the budget (of which there is none. we are paying for this ourselves) of things we haven’t even locked down. like what do you mean you want to talk about the budget. you want to talk about how much it would hypothetically cost to pay an actor we haven’t casted. what is this imaginary world she lives in where everything must be planned out perfectly. i know i’m starting to sound like the bad guy with my “we’ll figure it out as we go” philosophy but seriously girl the more you plan something like this the more it will inevitably go wrong. like she needs to relax before i fucking kill her
#THIS is REAL queer infighting. and it’s happening in my real life not online.#i think maybe she hates me because she perceives me as cishet with no mental illness#like she’s totally the type that’s so chronically online she thinks people who don’t look visibly queer or neurodivergent are magically#Normal and have never experienced a hardship#you know the kind of person. like i’m aware of what i look like i don’t look queer i don’t look alt emo goth whatever#i look like a girl who was maybe weird in middle school and grew up to be pretty and thinks mcu men are sexy#that’s what i look like. unfortunately#and i can tell that’s how she perceives me. and it pisses me off#and no i have done nothing to correct her perception#i already wrote a script about a girl with fucking problems. can you not extrapolate from that that i am insane.#i don’t sound nice here do i. i’m starting to sound like the bad guy i think. ok sorry. having a cady heron mathletes championship moment
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insane that i’m the biggest disappointment of a child for smoking weed but the child that’s emotionally abusive is fine
#i??? do not understand my parents#like ok yes it is bad that my room smells of weed and is messy#but!#feels real fucking weird that my mum gets more upset with me about that than my sister being the literal devil incarnate#and not in a fun way#like dinner last night i literally did not say a single word bc me. just speaking. apparently triggers izzy and i think i literally just#acknowledged a joke being made and she started her whole. you need to leave. get out. you’re the problem. everyone hates you. shtick#and my mums response is can you just be nice to each other#???????????#GIRL I DIDNT DO A FUCKING THING#I KNOW YOU DONT LIKE CONFLICT AND THE CONFLICT APpArENtLy ONLY OCCURS WHEN IM PRESENT#(it doesn’t. she’s even worse to my mum but mum never. fucking does anything about it#which yeah i do get bc defending urself or literally just saying or reacting in anyway than what The Devil wants you to ends up a mess)#but maybe use two fucking braincells and realise i’m not the worst one here??#i’m actually gonna go insane#also it’s like. lowkey so funny that mums disappointed bc she thinks i haven’t been smoking for months#which i have!! u just haven’t fuckin realised it bestie!! so maybe the reason i am being depressed and useless rn is related to uhh the#fucking demon that’s living in the house again???#not because weed is so evil and brain rotting??#also like i do completely get how silly of me it is to blame everything on my sister when i am aware that my mum hates me smoking weed and#i shouldn’t get a free pass just because my sister is worse than me#but also.#i would like a free pass:(#basically! i should move out lol#but unfortuately i have spent all of my savings#can’t wait to spend 12 hours in the car with all of them tomorrow!!#ah you know when u look back at the times you were gonna kill urself and wish you just fucking did#vent post
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Having a binder is not enough. I need to physically beat my gender dysphoria with a baseball bat.
#vent tw#I feel like I’m losing my mind I hate this so much#it is no longer enough to /look/ right when I look in the mirror#I can look right however much I want#I am so uncomfortable#and I just have to sit with this discomfort#I can’t wear my binder to work#which makes me more aware and even more uncomfortable#and it’s driving me fucking insane#I don’t know where to start#I just want to get it over with I’m tired of waiting#but I don’t know how to or who to ask or what to do#I don’t care about anything anymore except for ridding myself of this discomfort
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you absolutely cannot tell me sylus doesn’t do a little happy dance in his head every time mc does something to show she trusts him more.
i was playing the new event today and. THIS MAN IS SO STOKED WE LIKE HIM NOW 😭
dangerous criminal man, they say, about the loser who visibly gets excited when mc treats him slightly more kindly than usual. and he brings it up every time as well it’s so pathetic (affectionate) 😭
“sylus, close the roof, i’m cold.”
“you’re worried about me :>”
“…?!”
“you like me :>”
“is that not obvious at this point?!”
he’s so clearly lost all sense of pride when it comes to mc, but he still has the audacity to pretend like she’s more down bad than he is, which is both endearing and fucking hilarious at the same time, bc
“i am not letting you paint on my face,”
“but i want to :(“
“no.”
“but i’m only like this with you :((“
“your wish is my command, paint all you want.”
he’s so smitten for mc it’s insane. if she gave the word i’m sure he’d bend backwards, do a backflip and destroy the world, all for her. i wanna say he’s like a puppy who just got approval, but he’s honestly more akin to a person whose cat just snuggled up against them for the first time.
and that’s also so sad because all the stuff he does for mc, he does without expecting any kind of reciprocation at all. i’m sure he’s aware that he likes her, but i don’t think the thought that she likes him back has even struck him until this point.
so when she lets herself be relaxed around him, when she subtly looks out for his well being, when she plays around with him, he absolutely needs to point it out to prove that it’s real.
sylus, the leader of onychinus, meticulous in his planning, always two steps ahead, never stopped to think that treating a girl with love and interest in mind could lead to her doing the same to you.
somebody please tell this man we love him 😭 he’s so smug for someone so helpless 😭
#zyx’s brews >>#sylus x reader#lnds x reader#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace#sylus#lads sylus#lnds
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there are so many things wrong with me…
#this was in my drafts bc i unfortunately was still sane enough to not post this but looking back i need to be shamed . what is this girl#12 am eesha was INSANE i actually did in fact sleep this off#but not after writing a sad girl poem in my sad girl folder on my notes app and also it was 3 am when i went to bed bc i was reading#the actual posts says i have mental illness which is true!!!! at the very least i’m a self aware queen!!!#no id sorry.
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