#long story but yeah it has not been fun
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*taking my bajillion ibuprofen in the past month or so*: urghhhhhh my poor little celllsss im sorry guys pls don’t hate me if i get an ulcer my back hurts :(((( i have. :((( chronic pain. :(((( that i haven’t fully figured out how to deal with properly yet :(((
(The poor cells I am envisioning)
#long story but yeah it has not been fun#but hey at least the urgent care people finally ordered the fucking mri I’ve been trying to get for months and told me what’s actually wrong#after. over a year. of trying to figure out the mystery pain#and all it took. was not being able to walk for a week. and having to go to urgent care :)#yay for American healthcare system#but yeah. I am. still figuring it out. unfortunately for my stomach lining ibuprofen has so far been most effective for me so :/#cells at work#chronic pain#ibuprofen#idk what I’m tagging atp guys#*vividly remembers that my friends who I haven’t mentioned this to at all now know my tumblr url and may in fact see this*#hey guys so fun new factoid about me-
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Warning — suggestive audio (16+)
Ever since i found that clip i've wanted to "animate" it... this is the peak of my career. It simply can't possibly get better than this. Enjoy
#animation has actually always been my main thing but it's been sooo long#idk why painting kinda overshadowed it; so this was fun to revisit#yeah this is more “animatic” than anything but it would take me too long otherwise#audio isn't ai by the way#but i can't confirm if it legit is patrick warburton or just a reeeeeally spot on impersonator#either way#blosc#buzz lightyear#buzz lightyear of star command#toy story#my art#animation#shitpost
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Been having a rough couple of days. Send me asks?
#Long story short: I’m quitting my job! Yippee!! 🎉#Don’t wanna get TOO into it but I’m so fucking tired of being treated like shit and getting blamed for things completely out of my control#I’m done. I’ve BEEN done for months at this point#And now it’s at the point where my boss doesn’t think I’m doing my job right bc she keeps finding issues that again. Aren’t my fault#I’m sorry I can’t control everything for you! I don’t have that kind of power! I can’t make things magically happen the way you want!!#My other coworkers have been undergoing the same bullshit treatment so I know I’m not alone#But yeah I’m getting the hell out of dodge. My mental health has been sooooooo bad lately#I cannae. I’m going to end up dead in a ditch at this rate#Had the WORST panic attack of my life yesterday and my mom and I were both like. Yeah. It’s time for you to leave#Have fun running the department without me! Bye!! :)))))#Shima speaks#Vent#Anyway I’m a goddamn mess. Sorry. Lol!#I’m dreading going back to work on Monday I would literally rather claw my own eyeballs out#It SUCKS bc I know none of this is my fault but I still feel like shit anyway.#And I WANT to draw bc it’s the one thing that makes me happy but I just#Can’t. Right now. I’m not in a good emotional state#It feels like physical torture to sit down at my desk and put my pen to my tablet#Slams my head into the wall#I’m soooo tired girlies. I’m so over it#Anyway. Send me asks. Keep me company while I try not to have another breakdown. Tee hee <3
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how do i explain to people that my favorite game right now is a skyrim mod but also not really a skyrim mod in the sense of "it adds a mod to skyrim" but in the way of "it makes skyrim into a whole new game" . im obsessed can u tell
#im at 26 hours in enderal currently and its makig my brain go “HUH”#the fuckign cycle . . . . to me its reading like a ouroboros#anyways uhhhh i met calia finally too and i love her i cant wait to learn more about her#i have been flirting w jespar bcus . the blonde bisexual man has bewitched me [yay !]#uhhh what else . . . . idk . i just am having fun playing it while it fucks with my mind#yeah the voice acting is a bit funky but its also a free mod made by a small team . it adds to it entirely#dannie.txt#enderal#enderal forgotten stories#all that i ask is please no spoilers bcus im trying to play thru it blind and learning as i go#i would love to talk abt my prophet tho . . . . am working on him and hes . oh hes blorbo hes so blorbo#THIS GOT SO LONG IM SO SORRY i just like to talk ! ! ! !
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the most normal trinity of apocalypse stories: zombie saga, omniscient reader’s viewpoint and gakkou gurashi
#ive read the entirety of zombie saga today and hoo boy. wow.#i like romeo’s top surgery that was a fun bit and also i’m a simple man i enjoyed the fix-it fluff one a lot#and then yeah orv is fuckin. 15016 pages long or whatever and it’s been a while since i watched gakkou gurashi#idon’t think anyone else has this trinity of stories but i could make a venn diagram outa this if i feel like it#ezra’s real life rambles#live laugh love zombie saga
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Fandom: Oz (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: Miguel Alvarez/Ryan O'Reily
Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Explicit Language
Language: English
Summary:
Ryan knows he's not very good at blowjobs and it annoys him. The thing is, Miguel turned out to be some kind of fucking god at blowjobs, and Ryan... no, it's not some weird dick-sucking competition, he just really wants to give Miguel as much pleasure as he gets. And today Ryan has an idea.
#so#smut#This particular idea has been in my head for a long time#and I enjoyed thinking about this this bit of story#But I really struggled with writing this fic.#Maybe this is kind of... therapy? for me in topics related to sex?#because I grew up in a pretty conservative society.#anyway#yeah#coming up with this was fun and writing it was hard#and THEN I had to translate this fic#that is a whole new level of difficulty#So please#if you're gonna read this I'm BEGGING you#if anything looks odd#let me know so I can fix it#oz#hbo#oz hbo#miguel×ryan#alvarez×o'reily#miguel alvarez#ryan o'reily
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so me and Sam FINALLY watched the last season of Capaldi's Who
and tell me how, after literally over a decade and for perhaps the first time in his fucking career, Steven Moffat wrote a not just tolerable but really actually good two-parter and fully stuck the landing. like the editing and pacing were still a bit off but the storyline was original, fun, interesting and emotionally invested, and most importantly, rather than ending on a damp fart or the most furious autofellatio in history, the final part didn't fumble it and ended in a way that felt emotionally satisfying and like it made sense for the characters. like the last time he successfully wrapped up a multiparter in a way that didn't feel cheap and hollowly disappointing to me was literally The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances, and a) that was in 2005 and b) tbh The Doctor Dances is about a tenth as compelling and memorable as The Empty Child.
so after 12 years of either hackery or great ideas that fall apart in the second act, Steven Moffat writes what I would genuinely consider to be a memorable Good Doctor Who serial. it ends with bittersweet pathos, a solid closer for all the main characters, and sends Moffat's showrunning career out on a genuine high despite failing ratings and budget cuts (and the fact Doctor Who hasn't been consistently good since about 2009). good job Steve. with grudging respect I admit you pulled it out of the bag on this one.
wait what's this there's one more episode left? and it stars Mark Gatiss? and you literally spend the whole episode inexplicably just shitting all over the legacy of Doctor Who by inventing a version of the First Doctor that bears literally no resemblance to the character that William Hartnell actually played, just so you can spend the whole episode saying misogynistic things to run yourself off to how much more Totally Feminist your version was than the version you made up in your head of what Doctor Who was like in the 60s? and it added literally nothing to the season except to take all the wind out of the sails of the actually good finale you already wrote?
even when he writes a good episode this fucker still finds ways to disappoint me.
#red said#as I remembered it is by a LONG shot the best that Doctor Who has been under Moffat and I do think giving Capaldi more creative control#helped a lot. cause he's a massive nerd and also he approximately knows how to construct a story.#bill is the first female companion Moffat has ever written with an actual fucking personality#(even if being mean that personality is maybe kind of just what you'd get if you put rose Martha and Donna in a blender)#(at least she's not a blank slate with the words SASSY. SEXY. written on it)#matt Lucas is genuinely surprising bc despite hating the man it's kind of impossible to not like Nardole by the end??#michelle gomez finally gets some room to get her Anthony Ainley on and be the Master PROPERLY#i was hooting and clapping my hands at the John Sim Master's dumb disguise#like the cast is GREAT#(and while he still can't shut the fuck up about her at least Moffat isn't shoving River fucking Song down my throat 24/7)#buuuuuuuut uhhhh the politics are. incoherent and the vibes are rancid in a lot of the episode plots.#they clearly WANT to do Social Commentary but weirdly keep bringing up colonialism and capitalism and then taking the side of the baddies?#how are you doing to do a piece about the British Empire colonising Mars with a posh villain and a whole comparison to the British Raj#then come down on the side of the British state? same with the ninth legion piece? and the zombie spacesuit one is fun#but it wraps up with 'and then they complained to upper management and capitalism ended forever the end'#uhhhhh in the one with the microbot colony again we conclude the Morally Correct Answer is colonialism#don't get me started on the monks plot which is a) literally just ripping off the Year That Never Was but without the emotional impact#but also b) has some really weird and genuinely fucked up ideas about both geopolitics and uhhhh consent????#so yeah the philosophical core is either incoherent or Fucking Horrendous in almost every episode#it's frequently derivative but tbh that's often to its benefit bc it vibes like trying to figure out what actually makes episodes memorable#and the budget is clearly cut to the bone bc the visual effects look worse than 2005 and the post edits are really weird and janky#like the pacing and ordering is weirdly off and a lot of the shot to shot transitions are awkward or confusing.#plus the sound design in the first few eps is. unhinged. it sounds like offbrand versions of standard stings it's all just Slightly Wrong#but for real i liked it more than I've liked any other season of Moffat Who. it's messy incoherent and often politically INFURIATING#but it has some actual heart and energy. and it feels like doctor who. and i would say moffat is spending like 10% as much time#wanking over his own past triumphs (and Alex Kingston)#and a lot more time like. trying to write something which works. he's not like successful 100% of the time. or even 50%.#but there's a lot more warmth and creativity. mackie capaldi and lucas have actual chemistry as a core cast#and i think it helps that everyone in the core cast is SO PSYCHED TO BE THERE. like it just wasn't a slog like all Moffat's other seasons.
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:3
(☆w눈)/ its been awhile
I've missed being here 🥺
#definitely going to have fun reblogging stuff again 🤭#I haven't really drawn much but I did do a meme redraw one#currently been playing dynasty warriors 7 XL and started playing dbz fighterz again. I want to try online battle but I'm kinda scared 😭.#I'm such a beginner. minus that I've been having fun playing the story/ also against the cpus in the arcade mode but they be beating my ass#also this is my first time playing a DW game and I love it ♡. Ofc the samurai warriors games will always hold a special place in my heart 🥰#but im really am enjoying DW7(XL)#oh yeah I forgot not that long ago I got into Kaiju no. 8!!! I love it so much 🥺🫶. And Kafka is my beloved 😭🥰 iLhsm#(I even made a new oc cause of how much I fell for KN8 🤭) she currently has no name.#I'm getting tired 🥱 but I'll probably rb stuff for a bit#if you read this far you really shouldn't have 🤭🫶 I appreciate you for hearing me ramble lol.
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you can tell who actually came here to fish and knows the horrors of the sun and who is just here for fun silly pr and have no intentions to deep sea fish
#only 3 boys came with long sleeve light weight shirts? oh we've lost the ancient texts#yeah ekkys worn that hoodie before#thats one of his many fishing outfits#because ofc the man who bought a fucking fishing boat because he kept annoying matheson about taking him out on his boat has fishing outfits#ekky did not come here to play hes locked the fuck in#while mikksy and forsy do fish and have gone deepsea fishing before you can kinda tell its not super their thing#forsy has stated before he likes lake fishing more despite ekky taking him out for some deep sea fishing#and mikksy has bragged about catching a dorado but thats about as much fishing stories ive heard from him#aside from the sturgeon tagging trip ekky organised (and mikksy was invited!!! so he does like fishing a lot!!!!)#lundy also likes fishing and does fish in the summer#but the scandinavians give more of a “i like lake fishing more than deep sea fishing” vibe#ekky has also taken benny out fishing in his boat but it seems more of a eh its a fun activity to fuck around with if a friend invites me#but im not gonna go out of my way to do it like ekky does#anyways why am i rambling about fishing in the tags jesus#im just here for maffhews cute fun flirty shorts hes been flaunting about in the same way animals have favourite colours#which tend to be fluorescent because its very attention grabbing re: gators preferring the colour pink and gravitating towards pink flowers#if they fall in their water enclosures yeah that was a study i read the article and it was fantastic
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made the realization my vampire story would work best as a video game and now i can't stop thinking about it
#personal#like. vtm meets cyberponk. do you understand#it would be very focused on prioritizing... because you do play as a fully established character#but you get a bunch of jobs to take care of and you have to decide what you do first and most importantly how you solve it#you can combine certain jobs to do at once to save yourself time and effort but everything you do comes with consequences#if you ignore a problem for too long or deal with it poorly it will come back to bite you in the ass later. you can lose friends and such#basically you have it all from the start and then gradually like. work your way towards a single ending#locking yourself out of other paths because of the choices that you make etc etc and so on#friendships can help you out but they can also get in the way of other things so you have to think about like#how far you're willing to let yourself get distracted. but also no distractions is also a bad way to go at it because you'll end up alone#it would have a wide variety of endings but i suppose the 'canon' one would be the one where everything works out#because of the whole already established character thing. and also this is not real this is my story so i can do what i want#if it was an actual video game it wouldn't have a canon ending but it's never gonna happen so i can say it has a canon ending#but yeah you can play as heavenly the vampire hunter or as sun the vampire and then you get cool vampire abilities :]#i do like the idea of romance availability but they're different depending on who you play as#valentine can be romanced by both but he's a little brat so idk if you'd want that#isaac can only be romanced by heavenly because isaac is a gay man. valeska can be romanced by sun only because#valeska and heavenly are exes. so you can have a one night stand with her as heavenly and then she ghosts you LMAO#you can go into clubs... you can play carousel with npcs. it would be a very immersive experience#if you hang out at certain clubs too much then other vampire factions will be warier of you when you visit their club instead#you can forge alliances to be allowed into certain areas in town. you can disguise yourself. you have to hide your weapons#there's actual ways you can research locations or people involved in gigs so you can prepare yourself properly and potentially like#learn new things that open up a new way to deal with a situation#sometimes you have to wait until nighttime to be able to go somewhere because it's quieter around those hours. or vice versa#sometimes you have to wait a few days before someone can meet with you but if you miss the meeting you have to reschedule#and then you have to wait even longer. and some quests don't give you that much time so then you'd have to improvise#being spotted in a location can be dealt with by wiping security footage / killing the person who saw you. or just reloading your save#but if you've been spotted and you don't take care of it then that will ALSO have consequences. etc etc and so on#difficulty level in the game would determine how generous the game is surrounding stealth / time for quests / resilience of the guy you pla#and it wouldn't like. necessarily turn enemies into bullet sponges because that's lazy. it's much more fun to change other things
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Some swap au Olivia and Jackie concepts for the main 3 universes 👍
#keese draws#oni posting#first two are from the main rat universe#long story short a while after founding gravitas olivia was like ok so I think me being your boss in our company that we spend most of our#days at has left our relationship in a place that I’m uncomfortable with so we’re getting a divorce now sorry#and jackie proceeded to throw a fit abt that for several years until she got fired over it#in another petty act she tried to break back in to steal some of the work she had done there but got caught#and unfortunately for her during the past several years olivia has been slowly having mere morals broken down piece by piece by the allure#of progress and by the time she did her breaking and entering scheme olivia was far past the point of being ok with kidnapping#the second two are the rabbit universe girlies and they’re less openly hostile with eachother but they still are bad for eachother#they’ve known eachother since childhood and jackie has basically been using olivia as a therapist since they were teens#this lead to them developing an increasingly unhealthy codependent relationship where olivia ends up acting incredibly irresponsibly as#director of gravitas due to her being so stressed and paranoid about jackie all the time#and the third two are the raccoon au which is basically just jackie being too scared of rejection to put her work under her name so she#asks olivia to take credit for it which she does and she ends up getting all the credit and praise for a lot of the early work at gravitas#this combined with jackie’s constant worshipping of her slowly began to lead to it kinda getting into her head#and jackie was also letting it get to her head and eventually her ambition got the better of her and she ended up attacking olivia#now these are all just the basic concepts I currently have these aus are all still in the concept stages#for example I’m still figuring out how I wanna involve the other scientists and if I switch their roles around too#but yeah I’ve been thinking abt these guys lately so they get drawn 👍#oh also fun fact these aus are inspired by the scrapped content back when olivia was jodi#which is why I characterize these two a bit differently then I might if I was leaning more towards my normal stuff#theyre characterized more closely to old jackie and jodie including origin story wise
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youtube
#diana's music diary#good evening I'm a bit fucked rn#last night was so fun but my body feels like complete shit#would do it again but next time I need to drink more water I think cause oughh the pain#psychedelicks are based as fuck though I never felt any nausea even though that's supposed to be common for what I took#did my extraction and removing of the nauseating compounds well i g 😊 ...or my nausea meds helped idk... ahaha...#as for today I'm... playing lethal company with some friends which tbh idk much about other than it being a monster game#supposed to be like phasmophobia or something?#anyway yuh it seems fun enough but I'm a bit out of it still both from pain and just the side effects hitting @@#hopefully that passes for our project moon ttrpg later... took three diff pain medicines cause it's p bad awawa...#excited to play Frei again... it has been so long... i hope he gets poisoned and dies cause he's the worse OC I have (affectionate)#anyway let's try and make today good friends... love you all... ow...#oh yeah I passed out listening to draining love story and ohgh... was such a good experience while so fucked up... had such vivid dreams...
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hope you're all liking the epilogue and that you enjoyed the whole series in general. thank you for giving it so much love and support. can't wait to share more 🤍
#i'll be completely honest#you guys n the love you give are the reason why i'm still here#bc there are days and weeks when i.... don'tenjoytumblranymore#it's not bc of interaction or anything bc my god you guys talk to me so much ily :(#but tumblr has changed... the bts fandom has changed. the dash is literally EMPTY#it feels so different from when i joined back early 2021... everyone was so happy and loud back then#and so enthusiastic about writing too... like i still fkn love writing all i write#but the level of excitement about writing has changed.. it's why i try to take it slower these days#my god i used to have a schedule lmao could never today 💀#but yeah idk... sometimes im like... this isn't fun anymore and maybe it's time to give up#but that's exactly when y'all come thru and say something SUPER SWEET and i'm like.. wait ykw#i love this space.. it's still comfort and warmth#so yeah thank you for giving me hope and keeping me here you mean so much to me#the platform changes and sucks sometimes but you guys remain here and are as fucking kind as ever and#make this little community irreplaceable#i love you#and yeah. i just needed to get this off my chest bc it has been on my mind for rlly long#especially since those community labels butchered and changed interaction :/ like i just know the c&f family could've been#a lot bigger if not for the label on pt1.. could've really been one of the biggest stories around here but lol it is what it is !! the love#is overwhelming as it is so thank you <3#okay that's way too long pls ignore me bye#tdl???
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Hm ok what's your favorite or a really cool worlbuilding thing you've done? For any fandom or original or even an unimplemented idea
Hmm well at least in the past decade, my big worldbuilding projects have mostly come down to three-ish stories: Other Side of the Gun, Adventures of Gæilo and Ethon, and Just Desserts
OSG was an Invader ZiM fancomic concept I started around 2013 to justify every single Irken headcanon I ever came up with lol - I never finished it, or even really started it, but I put a lot of time and energy into its roughs back in the day :)
^A stick figure recap of Ch. 1, inspired by - what else - the Vargas stick figure recaps lol
One that you can see over here is all the work I did for my DnD campaign, AGE! (Though its sideblog hasn't been updated in a while haha - the AGE tag over here works just as well) I basically homebrewed a pantheon and had an absolute blast designing all the gods and their forms before they became gods and even things like architectural differences in their churches and the BBEG and his motivations and just ah <3 Such a fun project :D
It also laid the groundwork for things like Pokemon Homestyle, specifically all my papercrafts! You can really see how I leveled up haha
And my latest has been Just Desserts! Even with less time under its belt, it's still pretty expansive, as evidenced by my icon and theme and the backlog lol, and it's the one I have the most AUs of! (Though OSG does come close actually haha) There are still some thorny details I'm trying to iron out, especially to do with the magic system, but all the characters and creatures and the fact that I made my own fighting minigame, ah, pleased! I've never been so happy with a sona before Charm! ♥ From the very beginning it's been so fun to work on and I still want to improve!
#Long post#There have been others of course - things like BunBonBop and TMatM and quite a handful of original species lol#I was also involved in an IZRP that got very in depth which is where Bar comes from actually!#As well as my brief stint into being a TGWDLM askblog lol soz to everyone over there ouq#And little stories like Karera no Kotogara and Yanderapy but those mostly set in cartoon-reality y'know?#No magic or sci fi there haha#Man looking back through the OSG stuff kinda makes me wanna unstore Ch. 0 - I've grown a lot since then!#To the point where it almost doesn't feel ''mine'' anymore haha - it has been almost ten years! Maybe to celebrate its anniversary :)#Also yeah if you look hard enough I've been in love with and inspired by Vargas for as long as I've known about it haha#AGE was so much fun <3 I would like to get back to it someday but picking back up after so long is hard!#I still hold all of them fondly of course ♥ Mar especially since they were the tipping point for me loving spiders :D#It's hard to believe Just Desserts is already four years deep! It still feels so new to me haha#I know I big up Charm and her design a lot lol but for me it really is exactly what I want <3 It's my perfect :)#I still really want to get into 3D modeling to make her as I originally envisioned her!#If I had the funds I'd absolutely commission someone but tbh I don't know many names on that side of art haha#I've also heard about people who give advice/brainstorming sessions for magic systems and I've been intrigued ever since :0#I'd love to sit down with someone and hash out Exactly how their magic works! It feels like it just needs a few more pushes!#Then again that's what I said about the TVAU outfits too haha ♪ Maybe it would all fall into place!#To the base question tho: I never know how to qualify ''implemented'' - does just putting it out there as a concept count?#Writing a story? Making a comic? A series? Polished? Completed?? Where's the line haha#I'm always so full of ideas but focusing on anything long enough to make it ''pretty'' is so hard for me still#I just keep creating never stopping haha
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this is a fun night for firewatch au because it is, perhaps, the only time in the writing of the entire fanfic where the real-life calendar date coincides exactly or nearly exactly with the in-story date!
#wouldve been fun if i wrote just a tad faster to release the fourth of july chapter on. you know. fourth of july time#but that sucker wont be done til a few weeks from now i bet#i'm just one chapter too slow to make it happen#but yeah this scene takes place somewhere close to the last day of june#because we start chapter 8 immediately on july 1st basically#i feel like june has lasted AGES in this story but if you go scene-by-scene it's actually a super reasonable timespan for it to be a month#but it feels soooooo long because it took me multiple months to write that much
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Good morning gamers! I was working on writing my O.ne P.iece s/i's oh moment last night and this morning I got curious to see how long it was and it was nearly 1k words-
#pan rambles#I'm no writer so any attempts at self insert fanfiction are usually kept private-acjsnfndn#And all those attempts just so happen to be with my O.ne P.iece s/i#but yeah#Long story short it happens after Thriller Bark Arc and when everyone is Partying and having fun#and my s/i notices that S.anji has been acting a bit strange (since he knows what happened between Z.oro and Kuma)#so they ask S.anji if they could talk in private and he agrees#Panchi tries to get him to reveal what happened between Zoro and Kuma but Sanji is stubborn and says no#They both get irritated at each other and bicker for a bit like usual before deciding to switch topics#eventually they start talking about dreams and we all know how Sanji gets when it comes to talk about his dream about finding All Blue#He's so happy to talk about and Panchi is listening and suddenly#Panchi caught feeliiiiings#but ahem yes this ramble was a lot longer than usual my apologies-
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