#lonely for me only
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The Ballet
My favorite piece so far, it's only about five inches tall but it took me a very long time
#I love my lesbian harlequins#ceramic art#ceramics#clay#clay art#pottery#independent artist#art#clowns#clown art#clownblr#clowncore#harlequin#harlequins#circus#clown#gay#sapphic#wlw#wlw yearning#soft wlw#very lonely when i made this one#pierrot#clay sculpting#sculpture#carving#that chin bothers me every day of my life#its the only part i wish i could fix..#my artwork#porcelain
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"Well, my past is a holy book, a call from Olympus, ringing off the hook."
#sleep token#fanart#vessel#sleep token fanart#sleep token vessel#vessel sleep token#aqua regia#vessel the only god i pray to#tmbte#take me back to eden#yes he would be a really good statue#wanna sit on a bench in a random and lonely park with my hot coffee next to him
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the sky is falling like a comet, pretend it’s not the end of the world
#love when characters just have a moment of overwhelming gratitude mixed with grief of what could’ve just happene wowwww#yea that’ll get me#ummm like just thinking how like they could’ve all lost each other if they didn’t win in the end yk.. love frontiers so much I constantly#am thinking abt all the content it fed me aughhh#also like thinking abt the fear of losing the people u are closest with and are practically ur only family oh knuckles u lonely character..#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#tails the fox#amy rose#my art#sth#sonic fanart#sonic frontiers#knuckles the echidna#im the ultimate thinker I am always thinking constantly pondering one may say..#lalalalaaaaaaaa I wanna draw more angsty stuff to elaborate on this but my carpool tunnel from school assignments if bad enough already
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Despondency / Refuge
that's supposed to be Bennys lighter, the Courier is dealing with cosequences of being thrown into a mess they had nothing to do with
the halo was something that turned out on an accident but i love it
Rant below
#ARCADE PLS STRAIGHTEN OUT YOUR COLLAR ITS DRIVING ME MAD#fallout new vegas#arcade gannon#courier six#fnv#courier 6#my art#smoking#artists on tumblr#the cool halo effect is actually just moon photo set to burn on a white circle and yellow border#and the sky is a photo lmao#dont ask me where the light came from ive no idea its somewhere#i only know how to draw one type of shoes i rarely draw humans#furries mostly#yeah its gonna be a while probably till i draw anything like that it took FOREVER but damn im glad#fuck im lonely#once i wanted to go to art uni but then saw average pay in my country#back to studying#also from the last gannon post i read all the tags i love yall#vels spolski#firealpaca
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want to know another thing that pains me about charles and sazz's friendship? he felt bad for years about himself for how she was like the better more likable version of him that everyone else wanted when the whole time he was her hero
#omitb#only murders in the building#charles haden savage#sazz pataki#can you tell i go insane for tragic friendships yes its because im lonely#AND THEN WROTE THE MOVIE TO SHOW EVERYONE ELSE HOW INCREDIBLE SHE FOUND HIM?! INSANE THING TO DO TO ME
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thinking abt this .. the panic :( the way he just holds onto himself :( just tells himself theres work to do : (



also look at the little beetle carapace belle left for him :(((((
#belle : (#kiddo say#it kind of makes sense to me that belle left on her own without cad knowing. i always thought it was a bit mental if he let her#(that was if she didnt leave with colton)#which i thought she did but whatever#i thought it was corrin + constance together (p sure thats still true) . then their dad or calliope next. then colton then belle maybe toge#together. but their dad is still with them.#oh welll#because its me i do wish there was more sad lonely scenes of time passing . but also its only 56 pages so theres not rly room#which is a shame#i want the isolation of it all#cr spoilers#caduceus clay#going to reread later to have clear thoughts bc brain is a bit scrambled
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Apollo's part in God Games!! Decided to throw his prophetic powers into the mix hehe
#my three bullet points for this: he acts like a diva. plays 6D chess with athena. leaves#anyway this thing made me become a procreate dreams hater#turns out the lasso tool missing wasn't the only problem with that app#epic#epic the musical#apollo#athena#god games#scribbles#lonely thoughts
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Why don't you wait and give it to me on my birthday? Then I'll have to wait for half a year. It's too long. Half a year is too long? Think about how long I waited for you. "Too long." You don't want it? Then I'll take it back. Heyyy, fine, you win.
FEB 5, 2001 — HAPPY BIRTHDAY AI DI FEB 5, 1998 — HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEN YI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#uservid#userspicy#userspring#userrain#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#OF COURSE I WAS GOING TO MAKE A SET TODAY!!!#im also gonna make chocolate cupcakes for them and im gonna eat them on their behalf bc we didnt get to see them doing that#well it only took 8 years of lonely birthdays- dont think about that <3 - BUT THEY GOT THERE IN THE END!!!!#AND I LOVE THEM FOREVERRRR
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She has extra PTSD from her time on the surface (other humans aren’t very nice anymore)
#portal#portal 2#chell#glados#chelldos#ominous comfort#I’m sorry I promise I’m doing my best I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet#I still don’t know who you are#I only know that I’m still lonely#that morbid sort where even company can’t cure me#I’m not a good person I’m barely a person at all#will wood#them core
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Dream’s room within Nightmare’s castle
This comic takes place after Nightmare’s theoretical death that I discussed before >:)
A bit of context under readmore




#realizing how that tiny part of your brother really cared while you were conditioned to believe he hates you down to the core time#mixed with how Nightmare made such a room to feel less lonely as Dream is his only family#all while denying that vulnerability within him to even exist#i’m so bad at environmental art don’t mind the very badly made room#I really wanted to explore this regardless cause fuck art skill i can do whatever the fuck i want and nothing can stop me#anothers art#dreamtale#dream#dream sans#dream!sans#dreamtale dream
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They had a bit of a chance encounter on a day where Blueblood was dealing with something that was very difficult and was so caught up in his emotions he didn’t even care that he was in the garden getting grass stans on his coat and Ditzy, with her natural impulse to cheer ponies up, didn’t even notice or care that she was flying into the palace gardens when she saw someone sat in the rain.
At first he was definitely going to call the castle guards to come apprehend this strange filly with the odd eyes who was intruding when this was the last moment he’d want to entertain any desperate debutantes, however she surprised him by not fawning or anything, not even caring about his status, just putting one of her fluffy wings up and asking if he needed somepony to lend an ear.
“Don’t let my eyes fool you, my ears work just fine!”
She was incredibly disarming and while he didn’t reveal everything about why he was upset, he found himself talking about his feelings to her. And she made such cheerful remarks, and was very comforting. In the end, he felt better and she came to check on him the next day, even sharing a blueberry muffin with him. He remarked that he’d never seen her around before, and that he wouldn’t mind terribly seeing her more often.
The rest, as they say, is history.
#my little pony#mlp#ditzy doo#prince blueblood#my art#mlp g4#mlpfim#mlp fim#my little pony friendship is magic#derpy hooves#swap six#side stars au#my silly pigeon girl and my lonely rich boy you are so important to me…#yes I should draw more stuff besides them I know and I will… i just missed them okay and the ask scratched an itch.#bonus tag lore for those who read my tags: Blueblood is upset about the mysterious disapperance of Sunset Shimmer#Celestia only told Blueblood and Cadence (and Cinch) that she was gone - no details#Cadence is somewhere else struggling in her own way#Blueblood may or may not be so emotional because he blames himself#Blueblood and Sunset bought into Cinch making them compete to be the best#she loved them as much as she was capable but part of having a good reputation means succeeding above all others#and while Cadence rebelled against that mindset the other two didnt. They were more friendly with Cadence than each other.#As Sunset grew angrier and more resentful of not being taken seriously by Celestia (The Fall of Sunset Shimmer for reference)#She fought with Blueblood more and I think he thinks he was the reason she left when in reality it was definitely the least his fault#but he doesnt know that…
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To illustrate my point further from this post, of Lucanis understanding that Illario's and his relationship will never be the same after what Illario did: Lucanis is on the verge of tears in this scene.
That's right. They animated tears in his eyes.
"What am I ever going to do that is worst than this?" (Other than kill you outright, which I will never do because I love you more than anything)
#datv spoilers#da4 spoilers#veilguard spoilers#the veilguard spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#a murder of crows#datv#the veilguard#veilguard#idk as an eldest sibling#their relationship hits me so hard#have you ever fought with your siblings so hard you thought your relationship was over?#it's such a lonely fucking feeling#i suppose it only hits hard if you and your sibling were ever super close#but my point stands
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fuzam? zamrina? close enough....... anyway you can close your eyes and imagine this as normal ouji fashion zam if you ignore the furina de fontaine jumpscare in the bg
alternative purple outfit under the cut
#i was sketching this while watching bws yesterday cause 5up was stressing me OUT#fun fact i only just realized i forgot zams hair highlights in my kazam and mutiny art bc of this one#dementia is my worst enemy#🖼️ oz draws#princezam#lifesteal smp#has anyone noticed yet that i only tag ls when i have only one other tag#im afraid itll be lonely#i relaiz
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When Angel went on their business trip, David realised for the first time just how much they meant to him, and the importance of their presence in his life.
Although at that point they’d only recently moved in together, their routine felt so normalised to him that he forgot how he used to be when he lived with Asher in that small apartment.
The morning after he sent them off at the airport, he woke up to silence. It felt so wrong. The space next to him on the bed was cold, and the room felt dark somehow. He wasn’t bombarded with kisses and pleas to stay in bed despite it being a weekend, and he didn’t feel the warmth of their body against his where Angel would always be attached to him, clinging to him like a backpack.
He walked to the kitchen. The tiles felt cooler than usual. The room was silent. He made two servings of pancakes before he realised he didn’t need to. One of them already had whipped cream and sprinkles on top, just as Angel had always liked it.
He cursed at himself. This wasn’t helping at all.
The house was so empty, so quiet, so dark. He had no reason to open his mouth and talk to anyone.
He was alone.
He missed Angel.
He counted down the days until the nightmare would end, and he’d have his reason for living back in his arms again.
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted headcanons#redactedverse#redacted david#redacted angel#fitting cuz I’m leaving tomorrow#if only I had a David that would miss me this much lol#I’m so lonely yall#and touch starved
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different.
#can’t help but recognize how kieran is a fantastic unspoken representation of autism#i see a lot of myself in him and the way that he is so isolated and lonely and yet cannot help but perform and find solace in his daily#routines is so heartbreaking in its own way to me. like no matter what you do or where you are you have no choice but to be yourself and fun#nction the only way you know how and it will never not be vastly different from everyone else. and when you’re surrounded by people who DONT#like you and will not accommodate and are not at all willing or curious in understanding WHY you are the way you are you’re left to just ….#live in your own head forever. i’m certain kieran thinks many wonderous things and sees the world in a beautiful light and i know this becau#se i am autistic myself and because of that i see the world in colours that neurotypical people will never comprehend but we’re never allowe#d to see the world through kieran’s eyes. we are never allowed to see where his heart rests or the poetry he waxes or what he believes or wh#at his triggers are or what’s a stim and what’s just habit or anything. anything. the breeze sounds different to him and he can hear birds f#or miles and the sun makes every hair on his arms tingle and that’s why he wears layers everywhere and every green he sees sings a beautiful#song to him and yet we’ll never know. because he is too different even for the van der linde gang. he is incomprehensible to them and he doe#s all of his 4/5 daily tasks over and over and over again and while he would always do them and will always do them because they are innate#to him no one will ever know just what they mean to him. no one will ever know that kieran duffy can distinguish the horses behind him by th#eir breathing cadences behind him as he scrubs the spare saddle with the sun high above his head and he can know when something is wrong bec#ause he can hear it. no one will ever know that he CAN read but the only thing he’s interested in is books about wildlife and horses and fis#h in particular and no one will ever know because he knows no one will ever understand or even care and if they do they’ll be sure to make#it a point to tell him how DIFFERENT he is. and realistically even if the vdl’s DID come around to liking him he STILL would NEVER be unders#tood. i know for certain he would always be described as odd and despite its new affectionate approach he would still be the odd one out wit#h his daily routines and his texture preferences and his inability to make eye contact and his erratic seemingly random triggers and his#anxiety that seems to have a mind of its own. no one would ever know how bright the tree leaves are in his eyes or how every horse smells di#fferent or why sometimes it’s more fun to reel his rod in over and over instead of actually catching a fish. he will always be …. different.#sorry. novel moment. he means a lot to me.#i’m not super happy with how he looks in these but i’m just trying to draw more :’) i always say that but i always mean it too#also if my novel makes no sense then just ignore it. it’s late and my head hurts. i tend to get tangential#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#image#art#hero draws sometimes
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