#lol I need to go back to therapy

[whump-is-love-whump-is-life]

Thinking about that time before the betrayal. Those moments of happiness, of safety, of trust

When you think back to those moments and they’re forever tainted. When you’re just going about your day and memories hit you and they hit you hard. So many emotions in the present moment. How could someone so horrible seem so good? Were there moments you missed? Signs they aren’t who you thought? How could you not know?

How could they do this to you? To others? How dare they pretend they’re anything but a monster— and they are, always have been. You know it now and you feel so stupid for having not before.

How can you ever trust again?

[rakiah]

SO 🙏 MUCH 🙏 FEELS 🙏 AND 🙏 YELLING 🙏

[chainsawprophecy]

what's crazy as fuck to me is that the bad kids literally went through kipperlily's therapy notes and everyone's falling over backwards to justify that but god fucking forbid someone who lost her best and only friend in the world has anger issues. you bitches would not have survived the vriska trenches.

[shima-draws]

My doctor: Hey yeah that's not normal I don't think it's an issue with your hip

Me: Oh?

My doctor: It's an issue with your spine

Me: OH

[deliciousdietdrpepper]

Something painful I’ve realized about POTs is that it’s alienating. Specifically, when everyone else has a head full of thoughts, when in a episode, it’s as if when I talk to them I’m not there. Mental connections are few and far between, and when in an episode, I might say things and voice insecurities that I otherwise wouldn’t. So when I’m in that position, I just don’t talk to people anymore. In a group, everyone will continue talking, but because it takes so long to piece what I’m truly thinking together, and so much effort to say it, I won’t bring up my thoughts or opinions—and that’s Bad! For relationships! I’ve realized that I have an unhealthy well of jealousy for people who are able to connect to each other—the able-bodied and able-minded. It’s not kind, and it’s not sustainable. Yet, I have to continue living with this condition. No option there. No cure, just a million little micro-adjustments in the hope that they bring me closer to myself and others. A gallon of water, testosterone, adhd medication, blood pressure medication—none of it separates me completely from the struggle to think and speak and move. I’m divorced from my own intelligence and intuition.

At the end of the day, I’m responsible for the insecurities I bring to the table, and those are formed within a situation outside of my control, and so unique that it doesn’t relate with the majority of people. Built in neurosis. Maybe this is why disabled voices are so important. I don’t know anyone in my own life who struggles to participate the same way I do, or if they do, their struggle is as invisible to me as mine is to them.

[telesodalite]

Sort of a ramble, sort of me just writing my thoughts out while I'm stuck with writer's block, but I keep thinking about how Fulcrum was in stasis for roughly 3 million years??

Like, that's a long time, even for Cybertronians. Not a really long time, not an entire lifespan. But still, it's a large chunk of a normal lifespan just gone. Poof.

One second you're crawling across the pockmarked terrain of an alien planet, surrounded by the sound of gunfire, and the shouting and screaming before and after each earth shuddering impact of another k-con hitting the ground. And then it's quiet. You're not there anymore. You're drifting somewhere between not alive and just asleep. Preserved somewhere in the background of a doomed body, ignored by time and space, still here, but also not.

And then there's sound. Not gunfire. Not shouting or screaming. Not the sounds that'll haunt you till your dying days, your own death sentence pounding in your head. No. Just voices, talking, standing out against a silent, dead world. Wondering. Joking. Bickering. Familiar. Just, not familiar to you. And you're awake. Pulled back from the nothingness you've been frozen in, consciousness tugged forwards with the yank of a fuel pump and the nearness of life.

These two moments are roughly 3 million years apart, but only minutes, maybe even seconds, to him. From a hectic harrowing battlefield, to an old silent graveyard in one blink.

How long did it take to really sink in? I mean, he seems to just roll with it. He doesn't seem particularly bothered. But like, what happened outside of what we see? How did he really feel?

Also, his body aged without him. While his mind preserved itself, freezing him as he was right then, his body was left to weather Clemency for all those years. No wonder it crumbled to dust when he jumped off the world sweeper. It's probably a miracle of some kind that it didn't just fall apart each time someone leaned on him.

And even after they rebuild him, give him a better, newer body. His spark, it's casing, all the irreplaceable core bits that make up their inner bodies, it aged in the time without him. Does he feel it? Does it make his body even more foreign to him?

Then he's also a technician with information that's 3 million years out of date. Lucky him that the scavengers probably weren't working with top of the line material. But still it's gotta be weird when faced with anything brand new, because a lot can change and progress in 3 million years, and now some of the knowledge he once prided himself in is obsolete.

Besides those things, his view of the galaxy, of the war, of their kind, of other kinds, is one of the few things actually pointed out when it comes to him being stuck in the past. So, how often were his old views challenged? Facts of life he held close proved to no longer true? There's 3 million years worth of new science, new beliefs, new words, new terms, new views.

And sure, some of it can be familiar, because they're an ever evolving kind, and they have patterns, core beliefs, repeating behaviors, but a lot of it's gonna be unfamiliar at the same time, because it's 3 million years worth of catch up, it's not like missing last week's trend.

In a way, it makes him a living relic of a bygone era for Decepticons. It would've been really interesting to have had that explored a little more.

[ana-rends]

i would rather live with ana for the rest of my life than binge like this ever again

[runawaymun]

.

[widevibratobitch]

omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee

[mzannthropy]

My story of the week is how I went outside to touch grass, bc I felt let down by not being able to watch Sam Claflin's new film bc it's not showing anywhere in UK, so much so that I considered ending my fan-ship, only to be, while outside touching grass, faced with a street sign that said Dimples Lane. (It's in Haworth, West Yorkshire, if anyone wants to check it out on a map.) As @jesstasticvoyage privately told me, I just cannot escape him. Maybe not just a humble street sign, but a sign from the universe?

[arvoze]

do the beast dungeon protags have names? I noticed you only tag them by their species (I want to know more about them smiles)

unfortunately I took this and ran with it as a summary instead of "yeah this is their names"

yes! well, half and half. sudowoodo is quite literally just called sudowoodo, but the nuzleaf is called locke! every now and then, some of my pokemon just don't receive names, because nothing seems to fit in my head (and I like to think that some pokemon just don't feel obligated to go by any particular name). locke is named after, well, i'm sure you can figure that out (nuzlockes LOL)

their team is called "two guys", cuz they're two guys. despite this, they'll eventually recruit fries (zigzagoon, she/her), unnamed veluza (might just be called veluza, undetermined pronouns) & unnamed geodude (she/her). they rarely work as a full team (locke fucking hates everybody), they're more of just A Group (the "team" is still sudolocke, others just tag along or split off). they all live in the same kind of vicinity and all have a similar life goal/interest: some kind of life involving pursuing... flower maintenance. of some kind.

the above is primarily sudowoodo's dream. he wants to find a legendary seed and grow a legendary tree/flower, and deal with everything else along the way; he doesn't go into dungeons to rescue people (that's a plus), he's solely focused on his own personal task. locke has absolutely no goals and aspirations, originally sticking around sudowoodo after hearing about his goals because he thought it was *so* stupid, that he just had to be there to watch sudowoodo fail (in actuality, he had absolutely nothing going on in his life. it's true he followed sudowoodo just to mock him and piss him off, but locke ended up becoming genuinely attached, fully taking on sudowoodo's dream as his own. though he would never admit to any of this to anyone other than sudowoodo lol)

the pair are yaoiful in a situationship kind of way. like they're in love but they're uncertain about it and neither of them would necessarily call eachother boyfriends/say "i love you" all that often if at all/so on so forth. everyone around them just assumes they've got something weird going on. genuinely have no idea how to describe how these two feel about eachother LMAO

(fries just thinks a place full of flowers is Cool, veluza would like a chill place to finally relax that will also be considerate of fish mons, geodude herself has plants and moss growing on her head so seeing other mons dedicate their time towards nurturing a space like this has her wanting to get involved as much as possible; this curated space is like a home to all five of them. the intent is for it to be a pretty decently-sized place they'll all come to manage, kind of eventually becoming like a flower garden/nature reserve/all that)

unfortunately things turn a bit south when sudowoodo & locke end up in silverwood tangle (forest), a wrong place wrong time situation. this becomes the introduction of beast dungeons themselves (mystery dungeons helmed by ultra beasts). this is where the meat of everything begins which i won't get into here because i've already rambled overtime but SHDHDGSGF i know people are typically around for VV and not DC:BD (bluesky feed numbers are a big tell of this), but they're my silly guys and i like em :-]

[coridallasmultipass]

Halloween costume hint:

(The stitch marker and the word that describes this colour-pattern of yarn [or fabric] are 2 more hints.)

[chronurgy]

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[punkrockisafulltimejob]

I'm working on a project on my computer and vaping, this is the closest I've been to my normal pain level in days. I know it won't last, especially not when I'm trying to sleep later.

Trying to ignore the guilt of disappearing from work for three days, when the last time I did that it was my mental breakdown two years ago.

[pepprs]

i literally need there to stop being situations circumstances events developments complications and happenstances. for the fucking love of god

[jcp1765]

i've done SO much adulting this week i've called insurance for drs on my plan, looked at low cost therapists, got a hold of AND sent for medical records from BOTH offices, looked at food resources, looked at emails, had a breakdown, and now a small creative project!

someone tell me their proud of me pls or i'll explode