#literally had a nightmare the night he texted me lol

[runawaymun]

.

[thecursedanon]

Rainy Day

Characters: Lee!Yuji, Ler!Nanami, Sukuna(only in Yuji's head), Megumi, Nobara, Inumaki (because I love this little dork, okay? lol) Genre: Comfort <3 Word Count: 3166 Summary: Yuji Is super down today, that and he's not been sleeping well due to the nightmares he's been having. His friends, concerned about him go to Nanami with their concerns, and the stoic teacher takes it upon himself to cheer Itadori up. A/N: Hey, Curse here! This was originally intended to be part of the Amusement Park Aftermath fic, but I couldn't organically fit it in so I split them up... so that's why there are similarities in the setting. Enjoy!

Though the mood had been upbeat and calm in the days before, today it seemed as though a rain cloud loomed over Jujutsu Tech-- both figuratively and literally. Everyone seemed a bit more somber today.

Even Yuji wasn’t immune to the effects as he gazed out his window at the bleak gray sky, winds whipping the trees around and causing the leaves to drift around with reckless abandon.

He sighed softly, leaning over and resting his face on his palms as he watched the gloominess outside from the edge of his bed.

He heard his door open, but didn’t turn around or acknowledge it. Nobara and Megumi had been peeking in on him periodically to make sure he was still alive, clearly unused to the pink haired teen being a recluse.

“He’s still moping.” Megumi sighed.

“Should we go get Gojo sensei?” Nobara asked.

“We want to cheer him up, not make him worse.”

“I dunno, he seems pretty good at this kind of thing...”

Inumaki poked his head into the room with them, signing as he spoke. “Bonito flakes…” Megumi is right… “Mustard Leaf.” Gojo would just overwhelm him more.

“Well, do you have a better idea?”

Inumaki paused, the blonde tapped his chin as he became deep in thought. Nobara shot Megumi a look that screamed; ‘this is who we’re taking ideas from?’ as she gestured to the other teen.

“Tuna mayo?” Maybe Nanami can help?

“If Gojo can’t help, what makes you think Nanami sensei can?”

“He’s right.” Megumi nodded in agreement with Toge’s idea. “Nanami is our best bet. If something serious is going on, Yuji might be more comfortable talking to Nanami about it.”

Inumaki nodded his head, looking quite pleased with himself as Nobara sighed. “Fine, let’s go find him…” With that, the trio headed to Nanami’s classroom and explained the worrying situation to him.

“That explains why he hasn’t been blowing my phone up this morning…” He sighed softly. Yuji had a bad habit of spamming his phone with an overabundance of positive texts, or any and all memes he found that he thought were funny… most of the time they weren’t.

“I’ll go talk to him,” He nodded, standing up from his desk. “Thank you for coming to me.”

Back In Yuji’s room, he had actually started to doze off watching the rain fall down his window when there was a knock at his door. He sighed, trying to ignore their efforts.

There was another knock, this one softer and a bit more hesitant than the first. 

“Guys, I’m not dead in here. you can stop checking on me.” He called out, half asleep.

“Itadori?”

Yuji perked up at the sound of the voice. “Nanamin?”

“Is it alright if I come in?”

The pinkette nodded, but realized he couldn’t see him. “Yeah, you can come in.” he responded, turning around to look at the door.

Nanami walked in and closed the door behind him, assessing Yuji carefully for any signs of distress. “I haven’t heard from you In a while… I wanted to check in on you.” He said, his voice softer than usual.

Itadori smiled a little, and when he did, Nanami could see just how exhausted the teen looked. “Yeah, sorry… I haven’t been on my phone.”

That in and of itself was alarming.

The blonde teacher approached him cautiously. “Yuji, you look like you haven’t been sleeping.” He observed out loud. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Itadori brushed off his concern, trying to shake off the fatigue. “Just didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Watching too many Jennifer Lawrence movies, again?” There was a note of teasing on his words as he spoke to the pink haired boy. (Okay, more than a note.)

Yuji felt his face heat up. “Noooo…” He subtly nudged his chair to conceal a stack of Jennifer Lawrence movies he had in fact been watching the night before. 

Nanami, of course, saw this. He let out a small chuckle as he idly picked up one of Itadori’s blankets from the floor, folding it as he spoke. “Yuji, if something is bothering you… you know you can talk to me, right?” He asked, glancing up at the teen as he neatly set it down on the bed. “Even if you think it’s something minor…”

Yuji bit his lip and looked back out the window. “Yeah… I know that…It’s just my thoughts are so scrambled right now… I don’t even know how to start talking about what’s bothering me...”

Nanami frowned, picking up another blanket and approaching the pinkette with it. He carefully draped it around him and sat down next to him. “I understand…”

A memory flickered to the forefront of his mind, he recalled saying something similar to his best friend when he was Yuji’s age. Haibara had responded by looking for the fluffiest, most comforting blanket he could find in their dorm room and damn near smothered Kento with it as he wrapped him up in it and hugged him tightly.  

It was times like this that he wished Yu had still been alive, he’d be much better at this sort of thing than he was… “I’m sorry.” Kento said softly, his hands firmly grasping his students shoulders. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Yuji looked at the window, the rain and wind had kicked up even more outside. “Can I… have a hug?”

Nanami nodded, not hesitating to engulf him in a big protective hug at his request. “Of course you can.”

Yuji smiled, the warmth from the blanket and the warmth radiating from the tight hug was soothing to him. He wrapped his arms around Nanami in response, resting his head on his shoulder. 

As he sat there with him, the room silent save for the rain falling outside and the soft breathing, he felt his racing thoughts slowing down a bit… making more sense rather than being incoherent whispers speaking over each other.

But that soon became a problem too, as the reason for his anguish presented itself.

He was sad.

He was really fucking sad… He missed his grandpa. He was exhausted from trying to put on a brave front all the time, when the truth of the matter was; he was still just a scared, sad kid who missed the only family he had ever truly had...

As Nanami sat there holding the student, he felt him begin to tremble in his arms. “Itadori?” He asked softly, holding the teen tighter to try to silently reassure him he was okay.

“I’m… sorry…” Came the small, whimper of a reply. Small sobs escaped his shaking form as he buried his face in the blonde’s chest, his tears soaking into the blue fabric.

“Hey… don’t be sorry.” Kento responded, keeping his tone low and gentle in an attempt to soothe the boy. “It’s okay… shh… you’re okay.” He began rubbing circles into the pinkette’s back as he spoke. “I’m here with you and I’m not going anywhere…”

If Yuji hadn’t have already been crying, he would have been now. He clung onto his mentor like a scared child as he sobbed harder.

It became clear to Nanami just how much pain the boy was in, his muffled cries sounding anguished and terrified. It absolutely broke his heart, he wasn’t sure how to take the pain away from the usually bright light hearted teen, and he desperately wanted to.

“I’m so tired of being scared, Nanami!” he cried into his chest.

“Yuji… It’s going to be okay, you have nothing to be afraid of here. I’ll protect you.” The usually stoic teacher whispered in response.

“But who will protect you?” Itadori whimpered, burrowing further into his protective hold. “I can’t lose you too!!”

“Yuji…” Nanami felt his heart twist at the student’s outburst, he wished more than anything he could say that he wouldn’t lose him, and that everything would be okay in the end… but he knew from his own experience that wasn’t the case. He knew how cruel this line of work was… it didn’t discriminate with the lives it claimed.

“I can’t lose you…!” The boy sobbed, his frame shaking like a leaf in the blonde teacher’s strong arms. “P-Please…!”

“Shhh… hey, listen to me okay? I have no intentions of going anywhere.” Kento whispered, gently rocking Itadori in his arms. “Why are you so worried about me? I haven’t died yet.”

“I…” Yuji pulled back, looking up at Nanami with tears falling down his face. That also broke his heart. “I-I’ve been having these nightmares… Where y-you… you…”

“Shhh…” Nanami reached forward and gently pulled the crying pinkette back into his warm embrace, stroking his hair gently as he guided his head to rest against his chest. “Yuji, they’re just bad dreams… do you hear that? My heart is still beating. I’m still here. You’re okay… I’ve got you.”

This seemed to soothe some of anguish the boy was feeling, his sobs becoming small whimpers as he began to calm down at the sound of Nanami’s heartbeat in his ear.

They sat there In silence together for a while, the only other sound in the room was the rain hitting Yuji’s window and his sniffles and whimpers.

But soon those would silence too, and Itadori would slowly pull away from Nanami again. His eyes were puffy from all the crying he’d done, and his face was tear stained. “N-Nanamin?”

“Yes?”

“Th-Thank you…”

The blonde smiled softly at him, gently wiping away some of the remaining tears from his face. “Of course…” 

Yuji giggled a bit as Kento grazed against his neck when wiping his tears away, causing the blonde to pause and give him a confused look. “What was that?”

“Nothing.” Itadori said quickly, smiling nervously as his mentor stared at him.

Oh?

Nanami smirked, ghosting his fingers along Itadori’s neck, causing him to squeak and recoil with a giggle. “Nothing? Are you sure about that?”

“Nanami…”

“Itadori… you wouldn’t happen to be… ticklish, would you?”

“W-Well would you look at the time? I’m gonna be late for my training session with Gojo and-- ACK!”

“Oh no you don’t.” Kento grabbed onto the pinkette before he could escape, pulling him back into his arms and pinning him against him. “Even if you did have training with Gojo right now, which you don’t because he’s out of town… I’m not letting you off the hook that easily.”

“Wh-What did I do?”

“I told you I’d protect you… that includes from yourself and your sadness.”

“But Nanamin… I’m not sad any--eeeeehehehehehe!” Yuji’s protests were interrupted by a squeal followed by adorably bubbly giggles as Nanami began to tickle him.

“Oh please, don’t insult my intelligence… I know you’re still sad, you’re just not crying anymore.” Nanami rolled his eyes fondly at the boy, squeezing at his side teasingly.

“Nahahahahanami! Ihihihit tickles!” Itadori whined, but despite his complaints he made no attempts to get away.

Nanami chuckled at his reactions, sneaking his hand underneath Yuji’s shirt to lightly tickle his bare side. “Does it now~? How unfortunate for you… because I have no intentions of stopping until you feel better~”

Yuji giggled harder as he leaned into Nanami’s hold. “Ihihihihi’m not sahahahahad anymore!”

“Itadori, It’s okay to be sad…” Nanami said soothingly, skittering his fingers up and down his ribs as he spoke. “It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling… but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you suffer through it alone.”

The most adorable thing about this whole thing? Yuji wasn’t resisting, he was actually angling himself in ways that would give Nanami more access to his ticklish spots… which he found utterly adorable.

“Itadori, you know… you could at least pretend to want to get away~” Kento chuckled in amusement at his student.

“I dohohoho want to get ahahaway!” Yuji lied… because If he really wanted to get away, he totally could.

“Oh, you do, hm? Is that why you’re rolling around like a puppy trying to get me to scratch its belly?” Nanami couldn’t help but tease the boy, his fingers drifting to Yuji’s stomach. “Is this what you were looking for~?”

Itadori squealed as he felt Nanami’s fingers lightly dance across his toned stomach, practically melting in his mentor's hold as he laughed harder. “EHEHEHEHEEK!”

It’s now coming to Itadori’s attention that he may… and I repeat; may be… enjoying this. (He is.) 

Sure, every once In a while he’ll get the occasional poke here and there, or Gojo will be… well, Gojo… and tickle the absolute snot out of him but… Nanami’s tickles are much more gentle and affectionate. It’s almost relaxing in a sense… plus he never knew his parents, and his grandfather wasn’t exactly the most physically affectionate so it’s kind of healing to his inner child right now to be tickled by someone he views as a father figure.

Also, he just really loves playing around with him like this… this isn’t a side anyone sees of Nanami.

Did I mention Yuji is an adorable ball of sunshine yet? because he totally is.

“Ah, that was definitely what you wanted…” Nanami teased, his fingers tracing teasingly along his stomach, producing the most adorable giggles he’s heard in a very long time.

“Nahahahahanamin! Nohohohoho! Nahahat the behehehelly!” Yuji squealed, covering his face as his half hearted protests fell on deaf ears.

“Not the belly? why not? It seems like as good a spot as any…” Nanami hummed thoughtfully, pretending to consider it for a moment. “Hmm… Nope, sorry. I think I’m going to stay right here for a bit longer, you’re a tough kid, you can take it.”

Yuji squealed again as his stomach was tickled with more vigor.

‘Seriously, brat? He’s not kidding… You really are like a dog who wants his stomach rubbed. The only thing you’re missing is the damn leg kick.’ Sukuna taunted Yuji internally.  

‘Suhuhuhukuna shuhuhuhut up!’ Poor Yuji couldn’t even escape the teasing in his mind.

‘You know you could easily get this to stop, don’t you? Just allow me control and--’

‘Absolutely nahahahat!’

‘Why not? Don’t tell me… you actually ENJOY this, do you?’

‘Ihihihim not gonna lehehehet you hurt him!’

‘How pathetic… you truly are an annoying brat.’

“Nahahahanamihihihi plehehehease!”

The blond relented his attack, allowing the pinkette to catch his breath. “Are you feeling any better yet?” He asked gently, keeping his unofficial son trapped in his grasp as he calmed down.

Yuji nodded, giggling a bit still. “Y-Yeah.. thanks dad.”

Oh fuck.

He didn’t just…

Nanami froze as he heard those words come out of Itadori’s mouth.

Itadori panicked inwardly, his distress making Sukuna chuckle in amusement in the back of his mind. “I-I mean… yeah, thanks dad.” He said much more sarcastically this time, hoping that Nanami would go for it.

He did not. 

“Yuji… did you just… call me dad?”

Yuji felt himself tear up, fearful that he just ruined the relationship he had with Nanami. “Y-Yeah, but I meant it in a joking way.”

Kento frowned, he knew by the way the boy’s voice quivered that he was lying. “Yuji…”

“I-I’m sorry.” Yuji shook his head and closed his eyes, trying to contain his emotions. “I-I didn’t mean to… I-It… It jus-- EEK!”

Yuji shrieked as Nanami resumed his ticklish attack, now holding the teen’s arms above his head and tickling under his arms.

“NAHAHAHAHANAMI?? AHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHYHYHYHYHY ARE YOU TICKLING MEHEHEHE??”

“Because you’re sad again.” Nanami answered simply.

“AHAHAHAHAREN’T YOU MAHAHAHAD AT MEHEHE??”

Nanami leaned down a bit so he could speak directly into Yuji’s ear. “Why would I be mad?” His voice was low and calm, as if he wasn’t completely annihilating Yuji with tickles right now.

“BEHEHEHECAUSE IHIHIHI CALLED YOU-- EeEeEeEeEEEEK!” Yuji shrieked as Nanami blew a raspberry against his neck, cutting him off. “NAHAHAHAHA!!”

“I seem to have missed the part where you did something to make me mad…” Nanami smiled a bit, his fingers not slowing their pace against Itadori’s ticklish armpit whatsoever.

“BUHUHUHUT IHIHI… IHIHI CALLED YOUHUHU DAHAHAD-- AIEEE!”

Itadori was interrupted by another raspberry against his neck. “And?”

“IHIHIHIHIM SOHOHOHORRYEEEEHEHEHEHE!” Yuji shrieked again as he dealt another massive raspberry against his neck. Before he could form semi coherent sentences again, Nanami laid him down on his back on his bed and pinned his arms down above his head.

“Yuji Itadori… If you apologize to me again, you’re going to regret it.” Nanami said sternly, though his green eyes sparkled as his gaze remained gentle on the teen. “My cursed technique isn’t just useful for inflicting pain…It can also be used to make ticklish troublemakers even more ticklish…”

Yuji took a moment to catch his breath, and tried to collect his thoughts before responding. “N-Nanamin… Why aren’t you mad at me…?”

“I told you, you haven’t said anything to upset me.”

“But… I called you… D-Dad… That doesn’t upset you?”

Nanami smiled. “No… It doesn’t.” He let go of Itadori’s arms, and just let him lay there instead.

Yuji frowned, tears quickly flooding his eyes as he looked away. “You can’t possibly mean that… you’re just trying to reassure me-EEEE--” the pinkette squealed and began cackling again as Nanami blew a raspberry on his stomach.

“New rule, every time you apologize for no reason or overthink, I’m going to tickle you.” Kento smirked, watching as the boy composed himself again.

“B-But…”

“Yuji… I’m not just trying to reassure you. I meant that.” Nanami’s voice was gentle as he spoke. “If calling me Dad makes you happy then… you can call me that any time you want.”

Itadori sat up slowly, his eyes still sparkly with tears. “Y-You… really don’t mind?”

“Of course not.” Kento reached forward and wiped Yuji’s tears. “I happen to care about you.”

Welp. That did it… again.

Yuji started sobbing again, leaning forward and burying his face in Nanami’s chest as he ugly cried

Kento pulled him into a comforting hug, rubbing soothing circles into his back. “Shh… It’s okay now… You’re safe.”

‘You truly are a pathetic creature, you know that?’

‘That may be… but at least I’M loved sooo… suck it.’

After a few more minutes Yuji began to calm down, and he pulled back from Nanami. “Thank you… I needed that.” He smiled, wiping his eyes.

“You don’t have to thank me for comforting you, you know…” Nanami mused. “I really don’t mind.”

“Heh… Yeah I guess you’re right… sorry-- EEHEHEHE!” Yuji shrieked as Nanami reached forward and tickled his stomach, after using ratio to make him even more ticklish, of course.

“You never learn, do you?” Nanami sighed, though his words may have come out as disappointed, the playful glimmer in his eyes betrayed him.

It seemed It was going to take some time for Yuji to learn not to be so apologetic and overthink so much, and Nanami was content to keep tickling him until he got that message through his skull… Yuji was also content to let it happen.

[avatarrecom]

What they give you for Valentine's day

Pairing: Poly!recoms x Recom!reader

Word count: 1.1k

A/N: Omg I completely forgot to post this! Thank you all for the happy birthday wishes! Ignore my rambling through the headcanons lol.

Any thoughts?

🌍 Recom Miles Quaritch

He knows that it’s valentine's day, but it never occurred to him to get you a gift. Not until Walker and Z-dog give him an earful telling him to get you a gift asap. So Miles ditches his duties and frantically searches the entire base for a gift (because 1: Walker and Z-dog are hella protective of you and want their baby to be happy (and they're both scary as fuck when they want to, not that he will ever admit that) and 2: he doesn’t know if you’re expecting something and he doesn’t want to disappoint you). Eventually all he can find is a box of chocolates. Walker and Z-dog make him swear to go all out for your birthday to make up for the ‘pathetic’ gift. Even though you absolutely love it, I mean, chocolate is everyone's guilty pleasure right? (I will (try and fail to) fight you if you say no)

😈 Recom Lyle Wainfleet

Himself. That’s it, that’s the gift. You walk into your room to find him blue butt naked on your bed. Maybe the others have managed to convince him that just glorious nakedness isn’t enough, so maybe, he’ll tie a pretty bow around his cock, maybe not. I mean it’s Lyle, who knows what’s going through that bald head of his (probably not much but who am I to judge).

🍬 Recom Z-dog & 🥽 Recom Walker

THEY GO ALL OUT!!!! Like h-o-l-y shit. They force Miles to give the three of you the day off from work and you have a girls day (they may be though marines, but they still love them some self care). This girls day may or may not include certain spicy gifts and many, many, like I cannot empathize enough that there were many orgasms.

😎 Recom Mansk My boy may not be overly present, but he is there, he is always watching, always listening. He is always waiting… waiting for the perfect moment to… give you everything you could ever want. If you mentioned wanting to read a specific book, he’s buying it the  second he can. He buys literally everything you ever mentioned you wanted. He’s the type of guy to do that thing (I saw it on tiktok) where he goes to your amazon account (or whatever webshop you use) and buys everything you have in your cart and/or wishing list. There are four moments in a year when he goes all out spoiling you. The first is your birthday (obviously), second is your anniversary, third is Christmas and last is Valentine’s day.

(My grandpa used to do this for everyone in the family to the point it became annoying. There was this movie (or series? Idk)(in the Netherlands) about a knight named Floris and I remember watching it when I was with my grandparents and that at some point there were these people with plague masks and I was completely and utterly terrified. I literally couldn’t sleep that night and in the morning (I slept at their place) my grandpa gave me a copy of the movie and when I was packing my stuff I accidentally, on purpose ‘forgot’ it. I had nightmares for weeks lol. I never had the heart to tell him, and he never brought it up, bless his soul.)

🧯 Recom Prager I see him as the type to give you one of those jars with hundreds of sweet messages. He probably goes all out and gives you multiple jars with notes depending on how you feel. Do you feel sad? Just take a note out of the sad jar and it says how much he loves and appreciates you. Do you feel insecure? There are a hundred notes telling you how beautiful you are. And the way he describes it?! Like omg, he’ll write a note (because yes, of course they’re all hand written) that says “You are beautiful like the morning dew in the fields” or “You are the most beautiful star in the entire galaxy”.

(Omg I need a Prager to write me sweet notes 😩. I mean I’m extremely lonely. It’s a recent development by the way, my bf broke up with me through text (on my birthday, I swear, it is the most interesting birthday gift I've ever gotten, and also the only one I've gotten on my b-day👍🏻) and then I found out through a mutual friend that he’s been cheating on me with my bff for 6 months… Who wants help to egg his house? So my self esteem is extremely low right now. Not that it’s normally particularly high, matter of fact, it's shit and has been shit since got bullied first year of high school, but anywayy)

⚕️ Recom Ja He gives you a promise ring. I don’t think that the RDA would allow the Recoms to marry, especially within the squad, so a promise ring is the next best option. Getting the ring wasn’t much of an issue, but getting it in Recom size was. There were a lot of favors called in and when that didn’t work he resorted to threats or blackmail. If he wasn’t allowed to marry you, they could at least allow him this.

🧢 Recom Brown He gives you one of those cringy hoodies. Yours says “His Queen” and his says “Her King”. If he walks in the room and sees you wear your hoodie, he drops everything and changes into his own. The other Recoms make fun of you two for wearing them (mostly him, they would never make fun of you), but they’re secretly really jealous. Also, I’m like 99,99% sure that Z-dog, Walker and Prager had to persuade him to not give you something similar but with a sex joke on it.

📿 Recom Lopez You know that meme: A: “Love is a weakness and an evolutionary mistake.” B: “You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for them right now.” A: *pointing their hot glue gun threateningly* You’re on thin fucking ice.”

Lopez is person A. That’s it. (He’s definitely scrubbing glitter from his hair for days after, it’s definitely not because Lyle dumps Lopez’ entire glitter supply on his head, Lopez does the same to Lyle, but with obviously little effect)

⛓️ Recom Fike Baby boy’s love cannot be measured in gifts. He just showers you in hugs and kisses all day long. If people are giving him (and you) strange/disgusting looks, don’t worry, Brown is right behind Fike glaring at everyone who dares looking at you two. Fike ends up giving you something you’ve been wanting later on, cuz he’s unsure if you’re disappointed, you’re not and you end up making that very clear to him.

[momotonescreaming]

Trying my hand at something different based off of a silly text post I made about a 90s/00s chatfic au. Not 100% sure if I'll continue it yet, so please let me know what you think! 💜❤️

Eddie couldn’t lie to himself that his heart skipped a beat when he got the notification. When he saw who the notification was for. The familiar bloop noise and the little pop up at the corner of the screen.

KingSteve85 is Online

Finally. Steve had moved away for college almost two weeks ago now, and Eddie had barely heard from him. Logically he knows that he and Robin needed the time to drive up, and set up in their cramped little dorms, and do other fancy college orientation things. But he missed them. Now that he had them, people who weren’t scared of him, people who weren’t afraid to call him out on his shit, people who got it. They talked almost every day after… everything.

Eddie would log on to the shitty old computer he and Wayne had fixed up and wedged in the corner of the trailer, scroll the internet, listen to music — and chat with Steve. He was a good fucking guy. And funny. And hot. And now it felt weird not chatting to him every day. Not logging on after a shift at Thatcher Tyre to find the little green Online dot next to his username. Not logging on at 2am after a nightmare to find Steve also online.

But Steve’s at college now, and his PC is currently boxed up in Robin’s childhood bedroom. Didn’t trust his new roommate, he said. Or his parents, after he moved out.

Without hesitating, ignoring the flip of his stomach and beat of his heart — he sends Steve a message.

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: soooooo how was ur 1st wk of college? :D

Steve replies immediately.

KingSteve85: so crazy haha KingSteve85: sorry i haven’t been online haha c0rr0d3d_3dd13: lol allgud. i know ur a big college boy now C0rr0d3d_3dd13: don’t have time 4 me anymor lol ;_;

Eddie cringes as soon as he says it, as soon as he hears the click of the enter key sending the message. Recoiling into a ball, hands over his face, curling up on the wheeled office chair, he lets himself spin as he watches the screen. Waits for the KingSteve85 is typing… message to pop up. God, Steve’s barely left and Eddie’s already a needy, self deprecating, mess.

Fuck his life. Crushes are stupid.

Because that’s what that is. He can admit that to himself now. Now that Steve’s left. He’s got a big, fat, gay crush on Steve Harrington. Him and all the other repressed queer kids at Hawkins High. What a cliché.

The computer pings with a new message, and his gaze is ripped towards the screen.

KingSteve85: never! there was just a lot of events and stuff this first week KingSteve85: did not have time to go to the library and log on lol KingSteve85: haven’t even called Dustin yet c0rr0d3d_3dd13: ur messaging me b4 dusty? Ur gonna make a girl blush harrington

Hunched over on the office chair with the broken wheel, at the computer he helped fix, with the shoddy speakers him and Wayne haven’t gotten around to yet — Eddie felt special. Dustin was Steve’s brother, one of his best friends. And yet Steve chose to message him first.

He tries to humble himself, hold back the blush with the knowledge that if Robin went to a different college than Steve (which was highly unlikely), he would have messaged her first. But Robin isn’t at a different college. And Eddie got the message first.

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: wot sort of events were there? music and drinking? Rotfl KingSteve85: literally yes haha KingSteve85: during the day there were like,,, tours and stalls advertising clubs and stuff KingSteve85: but as soon as it was night it all popped off haha c0rr0d3d_3dd13: u go 2 any? KingSteve85: some! not a lot haha. Robs wasn’t super excited and i didn’t want to leave her alone

It warmed his cynical heart, how much Steve cared for Robin. And how much she cared for him in return. They cared, and they love each other so much. Eddie thinks they’d still be close, even without all the debilitating trauma that glued them together. Robin had mentioned wanting to merge her and Steve into one being before, so they could always be close and balance each other out. Steve had immediately agreed.

Eddie had friends in the Corroded Coffin boys, but he wasn’t sure if they were at the ‘merge into one mega being’ stage of their friendship yet. Maybe Jeff. Jeff had gone off to college this year with Frank — to a different place than Steve and Robin — and Eddie had already received a postcard from him. It was nice to not be forgotten. A part of him wondered if he would be, when everyone went off to college.

But Jeff didn’t. Steve didn’t.

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: wot a gentleman lol c0rr0d3d_3dd13: wots ur timetable lik now? KingSteve85: fucking crazy dude KingSteve85: got lectures & tutorials & work & been thinking about doing a sport again c0rr0d3d_3dd13: which sport lol? u’ve got like… 3 to pick from c0rr0d3d_3dd13: ALSO DAMN DUDE THATS BUSY KingSteve85: i guess haha KingSteve85: been thinking either basketball or swimming. maybe baseball lol KingSteve85: which’ll add practices and meets and games and stuff haha

Before he left, Steve had quietly admitted that he wasn’t sure if he’d try out for a sport or not. During his senior year Billy Hargrove gave him a concussion so bad it benched him for months, and he’d spent ages trying to work back up to it again. So he could play without wanting to puke. And then he didn’t get into college when he applied to the fancy schools his dad made him apply for, and he missed out on any possible scholarships he would’ve gotten.

And he would’ve gotten them. Eddie’s not much of a sports guy, but he knows Steve was good. Great. One of the best.

Eddie quietly believed in Steve. He wouldn’t be himself unless he was exercising or playing a sport. You could see it in his face when he watched a game with Robin, when he played pick-up basketball with Lucas. It made him happy. So Eddie wanted Steve to try out. He was at the sappy stage where the thought of Steve being happy made his heart swell. He was happy he was happy.

(A part of Eddie just wondered if maybe Steve could be happy with him.)

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: do it!! i’ll cheer 4 u from here c0rr0d3d_3dd13: but leave som time free lol or u’ll go mad KingSteve85: enough free time i can chat w you? Haha

His hear clenches at the fact that it was Steve who bought it up. Their chatting. Maybe he thinks of it as often as Eddie does.

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: obvs??? c0rr0d3d_3dd13: if u 4get ab me im gonna cry dude KingSteve85: of course i won’t haha KingSteve85: gotta chat w you so you won’t go crazy back in Hawkins c0rr0d3d_3dd13: and i’ll make sure u don’t go crazy over there with your full ass schedule KingSteve85: its not that bad haha KingSteve85: but thank u c0rr0d3d_3dd13: i’d argue it *is* that bad c0rr0d3d_3dd13: i hav a full time job and the thought of ur schedule makes me cry

Wayne had managed to get him a job at Thatcher Tyre, through a few mutual acquaintances and a favour he had yet to cash in. It made him feel like one of those rich shit kids who go to college on daddy’s money and get a job in his company without having to work for it. The type of kid Steve was.

But Eddie can’t be picky now, and he and Wayne need the money. He’s good at cars, doesn’t completely hate it, and it pays. So he bit his lip, and now he has a full time job with a schedule of his own.

It is not as busy as Steve’s. He knows if he asks Robin, hers will be the same. Filled with band practices and sports games. Birds of a feather.

KingSteve85: i’m used to it haha KingSteve85: at least i’m only planning on one sport and not two lol c0rr0d3d_3dd13: u better stick to that harrington c0rr0d3d_3dd13: or i’ll drive up there and kick ur ass until you take care of urself

There’s a pause. The KingSteve85 is typing… message flickered on the screen, loading whatever message Steve was typing.

It eventually came through.

KingSteve85: i promise. but maybe i should break that rule so you can come visit c0rr0d3d_3dd13: u dont have 2 con me into visiting stevie. just say the word

Another pause.

KingSteve85: i will

[ohem1111]

no one acknowledged roslyn’s birthday, not even her mother, the one who gave birth to her on that very day all those years ago.

during eden’s little 4am trip downstairs for something to satisfy her pregnancy craving she notices roslyn sleeping outside. in that moment she is furious, storms out and wakes her up.

eden: “roslyn ivy elmore what do you think you are doing out side at this hour, and sleeping even, you are going to get sick and i can’t have that around me right now”

roslyn: “mom, i-”

eden: “get to your room i don’t want to hear it”

roslyn: “no mom, you will hear it, whether you listen or not, you will hear me. you wanna know why i’m out here? aside from the fact that i literally sit out here to watch the sunrise every morning, not that you’ve ever cared or noticed.”

eden: “roslyn don’t y-”

roslyn: “mom i am out here right now instead of in my own bed is because i’m letting bram sleep there. because guess what, you never bought him a new bed that he can actually sleep in.” eden’s face instantly realizes how greatly she has been neglecting her own children lately.

roslyn: “maybe if you’d take a break from popping out kids, you would be able to pay attention to the ones you already have. and you don’t have to keep pretending we don’t know mom. we know you are pregnant again right now.”

eden: “ros… i don’t know what to say”

roslyn: “you could try ‘happy birthday’ but you’d be approximately 4 hours and 53 minutes to late for that to still be accurate.”

eden: “we were waiting for the right time to tell you.”

roslyn: “right time to tell me what?! that you are pregnant? why do you think i care that much, it’s barely even anything knew at this point. could you even tell me any of your other kids birthdays or is it just mine that you forget.”

eden: she stands up defeated, and says something roslyn would have bever guessed she’d hear next, “come inside i’ll have the butler put together the guest room” not an ‘i’m sorry.’ not a ‘happy birthday.’ not even that she would be the one to get the guest room together for herself. she didn’t even use the butlers name.

roslyn: “i already told you, i am watching the sunrise”

eden walks back into the house without another second of time put into trying to righting all of the wrongs that we’re just addressed during their fight.

as eden watched the late night sky beginning to slowly fade into early morning she sends up a signal to space for anyone, anything to take her away from this nightmare she is in.

who knows, maybe the stars will do more than just listen this time.

previous || next

i wish that tumblr had more text color options because i’m bummed that i won’t be able to have a special text colors for the next two gens. also surprise, we are about to start gen 4!

also also: im mad at myself for not checking mccc occult section for what ages could be abducted, (because of course that is something you can change with mccc) i wanted to do it while she was a child but i assumed that because teens could attempt to contact aliens then she could possibly get abducted but i was wrong there too, the default is only young adults and up so if you are doing this challenge, i recommend editing that setting before you unnecessarily age up your sim like i did LOL

also also alsoooo: (also is basically my ps. at this point lol) eden is basically done with her gen. all she needs to do is keep having babies until she is an elder which i don’t care to stay in the household until she is an elder, and she can get married now that she is an adult. her and dorian were already engaged by accident because dorian called odin when he was a child saying he found a ring in eden’s bag and asked odin what to say but i didn’t know that saying he should say yes would automatically make them engaged LOL so i don’t even have screenshots of that. i’ll just have them elope eventually, i don’t care to do a wedding with them.

[murderoushagthesequel]

fine i’ll tell you about my day since i tortured you with fmk

anyway

i woke up at six am but also lowkey cause i had a nightmare? LOL

i made eggs this morning but dropped one on the floor so that was fun

i also spilled water all over the stove but oh well

hm watching mlp and alexa & katie so that was fun and i also watched trolls

uh totally got distracted by my sister getting new plants (she has yet to name them ): ) + uh my mom ferally screaming but that was fine it’s normal

and then i watched tiktok for like hours and my tiktok app keeps trying to get me to only watch for one hour wtf no

and then me and my sister and cousin hung out for a bit and i made quesadillas and cheese dip but i ended up just eating cheese dip straight up

found out my aunt left randomly in the middle of the night so that was fun

my dog ended up biting my other dog ): but he’s fine!! he’s good!! they’re separated rn and they’re definitely going to be attached at the hip tomorrow anyway so

and then my sister cousin and i hung out together while i did my homework and watched tv

and then my dog randomly peed in the house but he never pees in the house so that was weird

and while i was going downstairs to get the stuff to clean it (we packed it away since my dogs never pee in the house so yeah duh it’s packed away) and found out my room + bathroom flooded but it’s fine i’m used to it

i’m writing this and realising i didn’t have dinner so i might make that after i finish my room if i fully finish

oh and i had a small meltdown but it’s fine it’s all good now kind of there will be a repeat of it tomorrow most likely oh well

and i’m gonna put on bobs burgers and clean my room

as i’m writing this im realising my day wasn’t that good? but it’s fine cause i was able to text you all day sooo

awwww thank you. this made me smile :)

hope the nightmare wasn't too bad?

NOO

tragic

very fun. also not the trolls. they're fr haunting our dms

your sister is very wild with those plants

so true

very slay

i- damn

YOU SURE????

fun

huh. damn.

help :sob: fr it doesn happen a lot

IT'S 11PM????? PLEASE EAT

ayyyy me too!!! <3333

slay

literally same. we had some very lovely (lmao) conversations today

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #244

Who was the last person who unexpectedly texted you? My sister Ashley sent me a picture that Aubree drew recently, I'm sure because it had spooky factors (it resembled Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas) so she thought I'd like it, which I certainly did. My sisters don't really text me, so I was very appreciative to see it.

When’s the next time you’ll be drinking? *shrug*

Has anyone smoked in your car? I don't have a car, and the car Mom uses is borrowed, too. She doesn't allow smoking in her cars.

Do you think if you want a guy’s attention engaging him then ignoring him works? Oh grow the fuck up.

How long has it been since you’ve ridden a school bus? I haven't been in a school bus since I used to ride home with Jason in high school.

What was the filling in the last doughnut you ate? I hate donuts with filling.

Do you have a large dog? If not, are you afraid of them? No, we literally have a chihuahua lol. I'm not afraid of large dogs.

Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yes, and this is when I knew I really messed up.

Who is your favorite photographer? Anastasiya Dobrovolskaya.

Were you shy in high school? Not really but slightly, I became shy mostly as an adult.

Do you like your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s parents? I love his mom, never met his dad because he's dead.

Who was the last family member of yours that died? My grandma, I think.

Do you have any gay family members? A distant cousin on Mom's side, that I know of.

What is your favorite jungle animal? Species of tarantulas or snakes.

Are you part Native American? Not to my knowledge.

What are your pets’ names? Roman and Venus are mine. My mom has a dog named Cookie though, whose name we didn't pick.

Have you ever worked two jobs? I honestly think I'd rather die.

Who have you most feared in your life? My dad.

What is your strongest reason for your opinion on abortion? "I value bodily autonomy above many things and I also think children should primarily be had by people who want them and can provide for them. They should not be brought into existence by coercion or force." <<<< This is a great answer. It is literally NONE of my business what others do with their own fuckin' body.

What one natural thing would you most like to see? Aurora borealis. I know we're getting those pretty regularly lately with the sun being at solar maximum or something, but tragically, I sleep at night lmfao. I need to stay up one night when we're meant to get it...

Do you like the game Tetris? No.

Who was your first online friend? I'm pretty sure it was actually a girl named Kat.

Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No, I wouldn't tolerate this for five minutes.

Which one of your parents do you think is smarter? My mom is far smarter than my dad.

Do you have a virus scanner installed on your computer? Yes.

Do you think a pretty person with ugly teeth can ruin their appearance? What a shallow question.

Do you like the taste of white chocolate or does it taste kind of fake? I don't like white chocolate.

How would you react if you just found out your mom had an abortion before? I'd be stunned, honestly. My mom actually wanted more kids, she adores children.

Are your pets spayed/neutered? Yes.

Who all have you fallen in love with completely? Jason, Girt.

What’s something you used to believe in that you don’t anymore? It's humiliating that I was once upon a time largely right-wing.

What’s your favorite dinosaur? Spinosaurus! Always has been.

Do you believe in reincarnation? If so, what would you like to be reincarnated as? I don't.

Where would you relocate if you were forced to leave your place of residence? I have NO idea. My mom doesn't have the money for moving. We barely survive in our own house.

Has anyone ever given you a gag gift? I don't think so.

Do you find smoking unattractive? Okay, so my opinion here is weird. In rare instances, I've been attracted to a smoking man, but I'm actually very unattracted to smoking in general. Idk how this works.

Do you think flirting is cheating? Sure do.

Have you ever liked someone who had a girl/boyfriend? Yes.

Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? Big fat nope.

What color is your iPod? Hot pink.

What’s a quality that your sister has that you absolutely can’t stand? My older sister is terribly submissive to men she's dated, and now in her marriage too. She lives by the will of her partner. I just feel bad for her, she has such a bad history with relationships.

Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? Yes, actually. For less than a day, but. I would very much prefer to not date a smoker.

Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yes.

Name one of your psycho exes? I was the psycho ex.

Have you ever been drunk at work? No.

Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? Not one you buy for yourself, but I know I've had one before surgery just because it's mandatory.

Do you have a protective father? No, not really.

Have you ever had to choose between two people? Yes.

What’s the scariest video game you’ve ever played? I love scary video games, but Outlast really played on my fear. There are a lot of chase sequences, and I DO NOT like people being behind me even in real life, it's childhood issues with how two boys used to chase me at school to hug and kiss me. I just freak out when people are behind me, even in games.

If you had the chance to slip through a portal, despite being unaware of any of the effects and/or consequences, would you do it? No.

When someone copies you, are you more flattered or annoyed? It greatly depends on the context.

Which is worse: Stale chips or flat soda? Stale chips. While it's not preferable, I can handle flat soda.

What health problems do you have? I'm just putting my mental health issues all together, then I have hypothyroidism, hyperhidrosis, tremors, I'm obese, I've been having back and hip issues I'm getting checked out... but realistically it's probably because of my obesity. I'm not unaware.

Have you ever had an anaphylactic reaction to anything? No.

Do you have sensitive skin? I do.

Do people's rude comments bother you for a long time? If they hold onto any of my real insecurities, then odds are very high that they will. Sometimes though, especially if I know their comments are total bullshit, then they won't.

Name three things you find boring. Economics, tech talk, and television.

What excites you? Seeing wild animals, pretty sunsets, seeing Girt.

Would you send your kids to Sunday school? If I had kids, you'd literally have to kill me to get them in Sunday school. Deadass. You would have to kill me.

What is the most interesting biography you have read? I've only read Ozzy's, which I enjoyed.

Do you think your life story would make a good book someday? Absolutely not, too uneventful.

Would you ever decorate a room with a travel theme? No.

What insects do you think are pretty? A whole lot! Butterflies, moths, mantises, ladybugs, many beetles, among others. I like insects.

Do you love God? I don't believe in any gods.

Is there an ice cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Strawberry. Most flavors I honestly haven't tried.

Do you own any books with an image of a cat on the front cover? Well yes, because I read the Warriors series.

Would you rather visit The Eiffel Tower or the Egyptian Pyramids? Pyramids.

Would you be surprised if your most recent ex called you tonight? She doesn't have my number.

Do you need to lose or gain weight? I want to lose a lot of weight, but I've struggled greatly with that.

Do you think you have a disorder but haven’t been properly diagnosed yet? I could bet my entire life on being autistic, but diagnoses aren't easy to get. I wouldn't be surprised if I was ADHD to some extent, either.

Have you ever put on or lost a significant amount of weight? Both.

On a scale of 1-5, how often do you curse? 5.

Name someone with brown eyes. My boyfriend.

Do you know what your next injection will be? No.

If you had to have a cartoon character tattooed to you what would it be? You know the Simba drawing Rafiki makes on the tree in The Lion King? I've already thought of getting that with his mane with the text "remember who you are," but I'm not totally sold on the idea.

If you could, would you look at your future self? "No. I might see myself doing well and that would be a comfort, but what if I saw myself doing poorly? As difficult as it can be, I'd rather just deal with that unknown." <<<< This is my exact answer. I'd rather not know.

Who was your first serious relationship? Jason, started right before I was 16 and lasted three and a half years.

If you had to cut a parent out of your life who would you cut out? My dad. I cannot imagine life without my mom, I can't. I deeply, deeply dread when she passes away, because I don't know if I can survive without her. I barely see or talk to my dad. I don't WANT to lose connection with him of course, but between the two, it's no competition.

If you had to get a piercing right now what would you get done? Left nostril.

Who is the number 1 person/thing in your life? My mom.

What are two things you wish you never did? Letters sent to Jason after the breakup. Flirting with the boyfriend of my then-best friend behind her back when I was 12.

Would you rather have three personal wishes or world peace? World peace.

What were/is your high school colors? Red, navy, and white.

When someone sneezes, do you say “Bless you,” or “God Bless you?” "Bless you." I've wanted to switch to "Gesundheit" but habits are habits.

Do you live in a house, apartment, or another type of arrangement? A house.

Are you one of those people who like to spell out numbers? Grammatically, you're supposed to do this for numbers below ten. Or maybe it's ten and below. One or the other. I tend to do below twenty.

Do you have Photoshop? If so, how often a day do you use it? I do, regrettably. Adobe is a fucking shit company but yeah. I don't even use it once a week.

Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? I don't watch TV, really.

Do you plan your meals in any way? Not really.

Were you in the scouts when you were young? Yes.

Have you ever made a hole-in-one at mini-golf? I think so.

Truthfully, is there someone you used to date that you miss? A part of me will always miss Jason. But we could never be friends even if he WAS okay with it.

Who came over last? Tobey.

What is your card game of choice? Magic: The Gathering. I'm not very good at it, but it's enjoyable enough.

What is your favourite book series? Wings of Fire.

If you eat oatmeal, do you add water or milk to it and what’s your favorite flavor? I only like it with milk. I like cinnamon apple.

Was the last video you watched on YouTube a music video and if not, what was it of? At the moment I'm answering this question, I'm watching JazzyGuns play Amanda The Adventurer 2.

Has anyone you know personally ever won the lottery and if so, how much did they win and would you or have you ever played the lottery? No, and no.

What was the last thing someone has sincerely thanked you for? I think a friend for listening to them vent about something.

What band, celebrity, etc. do you know the most information about and who would you like to learn more about? Probably Ozzy Osbourne. Or Rammstein, specifically the lead guitarist. Markiplier, if he counts. There's not really a celebrity I want to learn MORE about; I have massive respect for the privacy of celebrities, and things they don't want to share don't need to be shared.

[kansasjean]

times like these im forced to reckon with weird shit alone but im thinking back on something that happened with my ex. prior to us dating he had this friend who was the cute flavor of beautiful and skinny (my worst nightmare) and they would get drunk and watch anime together (two things I couldn't do because I have GERD + I only watch girl animes). the night we first admitted our feelings for each other he literally ditched me to go hang out with her and her situationship (?). anyway we started dating and she got really weird to me. she already didn't like me despite the fact I was one of the few women defending her from the misogynistic ass loser men she chose to be friends with but whatever. we weren't friends by any stretch of the word so I get it she had no loyalty because I chose to have morals.

so one night me and the ex were making on each other and she calls him at 1 am. im like what the fuck? and I got up out of that bed so quick. he ignores it but I was peeved. so later he texts her to figure out wtf the phone call was about. they text back and forth with immediate responses for a few minutes. finally she was like heyyy omg im having a party and I want you to come <3333. unfortunately for him, I was with him so he had to text back "can Kansas come?" and I shit u not. no response for hours. like girl. I was PISSED. especially because she had invited the entire floor of film majors and excluded me.

so later I was forcing my ex to watch The Simpsons with me in the common area big ass tv. this woman comes out. im like >:(. but she starts talking to him while eating a whole loaf of wonder bread like some fetish artists wet dream. she's like so are... you guys going to come. and I was like no. we're friggin busy. anyway so awkward plussss I forgot that earlier in the week she made fun of my outfit in front of my ex and he didn't say shit. it was a baller ass outfit too. I was serving whimsigoth. so whatever I hated her.

the part where shit gets really weird is he ends up blocking her without asking me. NOW BEFORE THE INSTAGRAM REELS COMMENTERS GET ME let me explain why I didn't like this. multiple times I asked him to just be honest about their relationship and what had happened between them. im fully supportive of cross-gender friendships, and although I sound really snarky and mad in this rant, at the time I was very supportive of him continuing their friendship as long as she stopped being flirty. all he ever told me was "I informed her we were dating now." and that was supposed to make everything better. and for a month or so I thought it did. we had had no new problems. but then all of a fucking sudden you HAVE to block her?

I will admit I had bad-mouthed her to people for a really long time over the sneaky shit she did when she knew ex and I were together. ive learned my lesson but at the same time, if you are openly flirting with people in relationships, you deserve to get what's coming to you. but I still think I coulda taken a fuckin Xanax about it idk. I blame my own actions and choices but the BPD def contributed,,,,,,,,, not an excuse but I think we gotta call a spade a spade and then try to beat that spade to death in therapy

anyway one time I got in an argument with my ex because he was shitting on her for her personality and like yeah I defended her because I don't know and I don't care. I was like if she's such a horrible, crazy person why were you friends with her? anyway he said it was because he was only friends with women he found hot LOL and then admitted to thinking she was hot LOL and that the only reason he wasn't with her is because "she was crazy" LOL

ugh I just spent 30 minutes writing this and then had dinner and now I don't wanna think about this anymore because it makes me feel suicidal like I wanna rip all the veins out of my fucking wrists fuck my life and the worst part is ill never find someone willing to tolerate me ever again

[uilanimakame-blog]

3/27/2024

hehe.

God, i am so inconsistent lmao. Good thing the only person who reads this is me.

Soooo... Nico and I live together now. Well we've been living together for like 6 months now? It's actually been really great. I feel like we are closer than ever. I love getting to wake up next to him every morning. I love how whenever i wake up in the middle of the night because i'm having a nightmare, he pulls me close to him. I love that he doesn't make me do all the housework. He cooks, he cleans, he takes care of Duke, he goes out and buys groceries. I love when he dances with me in the kitchen to slow island music while we cook dinner together. I love that we have coffee together every morning. I love how he knows how i like my coffee. I love that we have a separate room for our computers and our games; i get to turn around in my chair and he's right there, playing beside me. I love that when i'm sleeping in on the weekend he'll wake me up with a million kisses. I love that he will make me get up when i'm feeling down and go outside to feel the sun. I just love him. So much.

Back in October we picked out my engagement ring. To think that we will most likely be engaged in less than 12 months is crazy. We've practically planned our entire wedding already. He planned this whole trip to Hawaii this October. He got the flights, hotel, rental etc. I didn't have to worry about a thing.. We have plans to see my family, and my absolute favorite cousin. I don't want to get my hopes up but there is literally no better way to propose than in Hawaii on the island where my family comes from. I have so many ties to O'ahu. So many special places and memories that i can't wait to share with Nico. I can't wait to take him to all my favorite spots, beaches, food trucks lol. I can't wait to show him my dad's old surf spot, our favorite place to get poke, and show him where i feel so connected to the 'aina. Getting to share this part of my life with Nico is so special. I finally get to take this island boy to my island. <3

Trust that the pics we're gonna post will be crazy lmaooo. Everyone thinks that Nico and I broke up because we changed our social medias. We decided to do that because of his psycho ex girlfriend "Cessi." She was stalking our profiles like a year after we were dating and she literally had a boyfriend but still felt the need to text Nico saying she wishes us nothing but happiness and that i'm perfect for him. She even sent him screenshots of my tweets? She is literally delusional and knows nothing about me! I feel like she placed some weird hex or evil eye on us.. The weird thing was my tweets weren't even about her but if the shoe fits i guess??? Now I just look back and laugh. If i was her boyfriend i would be pissed that she literally texted her ex. Just like if Nico texted her saying everything she had said to him? Yeah no lmao she clearly still has feelings for him and it's just sad. I really do hope she gets over him and this whole situation.

Okay well, maybe the next time i do an update i'll be engaged :p

[lystring]

sry long rant abt dumb dreams below I just needed to get it down

so I managed to fall asleep after that. and during those two hours I remember two dreams:

so night between wed n thu I slept for 11 hours and had another long ass dream about my ex (which is mostly just annoying cus sure we were together for 6 years but we've been broken up for almost as long and it was an amicable breakup that should've happened much sooner im not sure what my brain feels the need to process still about that bt whatever) and I thought to myself Again? like why cant i dream about some made up lover or maybe at leeast my last situationship that Im still a bit hung up on (last one kinda sarcastically bt also not cus I miss him lol) but apparently my brain decided to listen to me for the first time ever, but also in ofc the worst way ever.

because last night I barely slept at all, and the first part of the night I slipped in n out of sleep and a Super Fucked Up nightmare that was basically just beat for beat a literal horror movie where me and some guy were trapped on a small island outside the coast of Finland that we both had travelled to alone independently. and we were being held prisoners in a rundown house by a coven of witches or some other supernatural beings, like three super creepy pale blonde old women that were like forcing us to be a part of their "family" wearing the same clothes and eating "dinner" with us every evening and sleeping in childrens beds and the whole dream was me and this guy developing this really close emotional bond out of survival instinct and trauma. there was like this one point where he went into a part of the house that they told us not to go into and as punishment he just started growing painful mushrooms put of his skin on his face and I like. the fucking irl anxiety and fear I had waking up briefly for that was just fucking surreal. we managed to get them off and I literally told him to "please use my face wash" to avoid this problem. like ok funny girl haha. anyway we finally managed to escape and im not gonna go through every detail but honestly it would make a good horror movie that id be too afraid to watch. also it was so fucking uncomfortable for me that I had to get up and have a cigarette because I didn't wanna fall into the same nightmare loop that I'd been in for the last 4 hours or so.

one semi-realistic attempt at being cathartic about my last situationship (sorry to use that word but not sure what else to call it like we were dating we were never a Couple u know) where like. I was in very intimate but ofc dream absurd moments with him but I also got to say everything that I have been feeling and have been wanting to say to him. and in the dream our meeting is sparked by me drunkenly texting him from our work phone, which he responded to even tho he hasn't responded to my last irl (also in dream) texts from my own phone. and. like it was ofc surreal and confusing but also. it makes me wanna try one last time. which is dumb i know but. idk. like I said I kinda not kind jokingly asked my brain for this dream and it sure delivered thanks.

the last dream was a full on surreal chaotic fantasy stress dream where I had to juggle both work at a hotel in a dystopian world and at the same time a relationship with a woman I'm pretty sure is an amalgamation of all the straight women I've ever had hopeless crushes on but this time she was into me so ;) it was also right before I had to get up for work so it was way too short thanks brain fuck off

[anomaliex]

No fuck wait now that I'm thinking about their relationship I'm hyperfixating again save me.

I like to think that Riz and Fabian have gen been together since sophomore year (like they talked about it between defeating the nightmare king and unleashing the night yorb) and it doesn't even mess with canon that much. Fabian can still have had his summer fling with Aelwyn I think Riz is super openly like "yeah I like being close to you but please have sex with literally anyone else" * and he can also still have his obsession with Ecaf and Riz can be very concerned about both (for different reasons) like "hey Fabes ily and I encourage you to have interest in other people but what the fuck." "It's a mirror guys Fabian can do better than a mirror??" (And honestly Fabian is a little shitty about it but they like, work it out. Relationships are hard especially polyamorous ones okay. Especially if you're like seventeen.)

*not that he had sex with Aelwyn, because apparently he's a virgin before Mazey. From which I can only interpret that he made out with Aelwyn twice and then got SO nervous/intimidated and ran lmao

But uh YEAH they've been together for a while before Mazey shows up and then there's some miscommunication with that "Why do you always bring up The Ball?" (It's actually funny how well canon works with Fabriz w/o there being any Fabriz at all) but they work it out and Mazey is cool with it and Mazey and Riz get along fine and are friends and everything is fine and cute and HONESTLY? Riz has to hype Fabian up to initiate stuff with Mazey I said it lmao.

And also, like, Riz is more of a private guy than Fabian and there are times where he fully dislikes physical affection, and even when he doesn't I don't think he'd be a fan of pda. Also until he starts attending every club I genuinely think most of the student body doesn't know what he looks like aside from yearbook photos. Like "oh yeah the bad kids are this adventuring party that's saved the world that's crazy. They have a rogue I have never seen him at school before??" Because something something bonkers stealth bonus + being very small and not only easy to overlook but probably has ways to be in hallways etc as little as possible because he doesn't want to get trampled in between classes so YEAH people don't see Riz much. What I'm getting at is that no one knows Fabian and Riz are together (note that I do say "are together" rather than "dating" on purpose) because why would they?? None of their business anyway. It's not a secret but it's just, like, not super noticeable. Fabian says "I love you" loudly if Riz waits for him after practice or smth but Fabian is openly affectionate with his friends so this probably doesn't tick most people off.

Anyway yeah that's why Mazey didn't know about them. And most of the school knows Fabian and Mazey are dating pretty quickly (Fabian is popular and they like, hold hands and kiss and shit in front of people before she graduates) but almost no one knows about Riz and I assure you that in their senior year there's a party at Seacaster Manor and Fabian and Riz might be high as balls and they're kissing each other's faces off** and someone is like oh my god??? Seacaster is cheating on Mazey? And several people who were on the student council with her when she was still in school send Mazey texts like "hey sorry if you're maybe not dating anymore but I thought you were and you should know this? :(" and Mazey forwards all of them to their ridiculously named groupchat and laughs at them.

**(Kissing. NOT making out. Based of my own experience with asexuality and autism sensory issues lol but like, I think Riz loves kissing if he's in the mood for it because it's physical intimacy. It's warm and soft and makes him feel so close to his partner. But the second there's too much spit or, like, gods forbid tongue it's really gross and he feels his skin crawl and he needs to get out of there. Tried it once for science even though he was pretty sure he wouldn't like it and then genuinely had to take a bath. Kissing is fine with him as long as no one opens their mouth basically. Speaking of that one attempt he probably like, asked Fabian randomly. And afterwards Fabian felt bad for three days even though he did nothing wrong. Slightly pathetic. I adore him.)

Anyway I think about Mazey meeting Telemaine a lot. I think he would like her (certainly more than Riz LOL). So happy that his grandson has found such a graceful dancer to be at his side. She'd think he's maybe a bit much but they'd probably get along.

Fabian being the most popular kid in school and the captain of the bloodrush team (since freshman year?? I feel like we don't acknowledge enough that this is insane) and also a straight a student is already incredibly funny to me but the fact he personally killed toxic masculinity (in his opinion) and is, in my opinion, at least a little queer, makes it even better.

Like GOD he's so stereotypical teen movie big mouthed rich jock but he's also not that at ALL and he respects women and he loves his friends so much and he's genuinely such a sweet kid and I love him. I like to think there were guys (especially on the owlbears) who, for maybe a week, were like wow Fabian dances now that's gay (derogatory) (and for the record I know he was flamboyant before but BEFORE he was still trying to be a macho champion guy so it was different but now he's /just/ flamboyant) but Fabian exorcises the toxic masculinity and homophobia out of them. How does he do it? I don't know. It's magic. He's magic.

Im a qpr Fabriz + romantic Mazey/Fabian truther so its extra funny to me that Fabian is like this. Incredibly cool popular hot guy that everyone likes and probably a lot of people are attracted to that throws banger parties and his girlfriend pulls out twister at said parties and doesn't drink (good for her) and is apparently considered unattractive (i like to think this is a. Fantasy racism thing? The less human or elf like a race looks ((like orcs, or goblins, or, well, minotaurs)) the worse off they are) and he also has a fucking loser "boyfriend" (I think they'd prefer the word partner but why would other ppl know that) who YES has a glow up in junior year and is semi-popular but he's certainly not who you'd except Fabian Aramais Seacaster to kiss. Also I'm pretty sure Riz is mostly popular amongst people who are objectively bigger Highschool hierarchy losers than him on the basis of being younger and not being part of the most impressive adventuring party in school lmao.

Speaking of Fabian and Mazey she's taller than him thank you very much. Tall beautiful athletic girlfriend and scrawny short king partner Fabian is the happiest polyam bisexual in the world /j

[countess-of-edessa]

my roommate's fiancé is staying here so i had to hide in my room last night after i went to bed and im hiding in my room now i hate being around dudes i hate i hate

[tired-biscuit]

How would the Naruto idiot friend group survive or how long they’d last during no nut november I wonder 🤔💭

—🐻

i actually have a moot that did a similar kind of post, here's the link. it was a really fun read, so check it out if you feel like it!!

i know it's not a group of idiots necessarily, but i chose kiba and naruto simply because i think they have the most potential to share custody of a single brain cell (and because they're my faves, lol.) it's all under the cut, because it's obv nsfw.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: just two horny morons suffering because of NNN 🧡 fem!reader, 18+ mdni

𝘄𝗰: 900+ words

𝗞𝗜𝗕𝗔

Fails.

Don’t get me wrong, the man is determined to last – and is loud about it, too – but as soon as it comes to actually committing to NNN, Kiba is all bark and no bite. He lasts not even two full days before his hand winds up in his pants, which, if you take his sky-high libido into consideration, is pretty good actually.

His ego makes him act all smug and proud the first night; he’s messing around in the group chat, talking about how good that first nut on the 1st of December is going to feel, and yet by the second night he’s already growing agitated and snippy because he’s used to jerking one out before bed or early in the morning when he wakes up with a literal coke can in his sweatpants.

He’s so pent-up that he even dreams some whacky-ass scenario with you between his legs, his best friend; drooling and sucking the literal life out of him with that cutesy mouth that always likes to talk shit whenever he teases you, and for some odd reason: it’s enough to make him admit defeat.

He wakes up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat like he’s just had a nightmare despite that it was the literal opposite, and with the image of your cute face covered in his cum still somewhere in the back of his mind. He can still feel your hands on his thighs, the weight of your slick tongue on his dick. So he says ‘Fuck it.’ and opens up Pornhub on his phone. He taps the first video that catches his eye and finishes at the initial blowjob part not even five minutes in whilst his mind insists on replaying that goddamn scenario with you instead. 

The amount of cum he’s managed to produce just because he hasn’t touched himself in two days is unholy. Or it might be because you’re someone who he’s just now realized that he wants so, so badly. Who knows.

He sleeps like a baby afterwards, despite that the post-nut clarity chews on his pride a little. The confused feelings he harbours for you don’t help either. And when he wakes up in the morning, still grumpy but now at least without the persistent ache in his balls from being so horny all the time, all he does is jack off again because it’s literally pointless now and he might as well try to feel good about being a lovestruck loser.

The others know he’s failed the moment he’s actually quiet in the group chat. He doesn’t tell them about the reason as to why, though. Just slaps that ‘seen’ like the sensitive cancer sign that he is, and texts you instead.

𝗡𝗔𝗥𝗨𝗧𝗢

Fails.

Naruto lasts surprisingly longer than he initially thought he would, despite that he took the entire thing as a joke at first. Still, he’s determination incarnate and competitive – as most young men his age are – and he’s going strong for about a week or two just to prove a point that consequently doesn’t even hold any meaning in the end. 

And it shows. Not being able to spill his load makes him impatient. He’s always jittery; bouncing his knee whilst sitting on the couch in your living room while you watch movies and a suggestive scene pops up, staring at you from the corner of his eye for just a little bit too long all the time. After all, Naruto is already touchy and needy on the norm, especially around you, so not being able to stuff his dick inside your warm cunt and bully it to his heart’s content is simply annoying.

What do I even get out of this? Is it worth it? What’s the fuckin’ point, really? – These questions are the only thing he thinks about lately.

However, despite the lack of intimacy during November, his evident struggle is awfully amusing to you. So you egg him on, acting all sweet and coy whilst executing your plans that would lead to his demise like some evil mastermind in the making.

You wear those pretty dresses that show off the tops of your thighs whenever you step onto your tippy-toes and wrap your arms around your tortured boyfriend’s neck. Press your chest to his own real tight, so that he can surely feel your soft tits squish against him, especially late in the evening when you’re both just chilling at home and you’re not wearing a bra underneath the tiny shirts you all of a sudden like putting on around him.

It’s all fun and games – for you, of course. Still, Naruto doesn’t yield all that easily. He just refuses to give.

However, two weeks are certainly a lot for a man with a sex drive so high that it reaches past the clouds. Every little thing, may it be intentional or not, is like a trigger inside that horny pea-brain of his. And because of it, it takes you literally nothing more than bending over in your tight gym shorts for his willpower to finally crack.

You’re in the kitchen, searching for a freaking pot to cook dinner in and not attempting to appear enticing at all for once, and yet the moment his warm hand traces the curve of your ass over the smooth spandex, it’s game over.

Soldier down, his dick ends up buried deep inside your pussy before you can even lay eyes on the stupid pot.

[haikyuu-boys-headcanons]

𝙷𝙰𝙸𝙺𝚈𝚄𝚄 𝙱𝙾𝚈𝚂 - 𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙴𝚇 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚂

hehe, i’m back at it again with one of these long ass posts but this idea’s literally been in my head all day long so here you go !! obvious nsfw warning :)

tw: this whole post is just nsfw and embarrassing to read so read at your own risk >:)

𝙳𝙰𝙸𝙲𝙷𝙸 » during a super intense and loud session, his voice cracked as he asked you “does that feel goOD- good baby?” to this day, he still prays that you couldn’t hear him over the sound of your own moans

𝚂𝚄𝙶𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙰 » you were riding him and he went to slap your ass, but something went wrong either because you were riding too quickly or he was shaking too much, boy ended up slapping himself in the balls. you’ve never heard that boy scream that loud in your life

𝙰𝚂𝙰𝙷𝙸 » literally pulled out in the middle of sex to get up and rush to the corner of his room to flip around his childhood teddy bears. your just laying there with your tiddies and coochie out waiting for asahi to shield the eyes of mr. wiggles

𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙺𝙰 » you two were having pretty intense shower sex until tanaka did the number one thing your not supposed to do during shower sex; this muthafucker slipped while holding you. long story short, y’all were okay but just ended up having nasty shower floor sex??

𝙽𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙾𝚈𝙰 » this tiny ass 5′2 man was unconsciously humping your leg while you were both asleep?? his presumably pleasurable wet dream had turned into a sudden nightmare when you literally had to KICK him off you to stop the humping. bad nishinoya, bad!

𝙺𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰 » came WAYYY too early inside you, but he was too embarrassed to say anything so he just... kept going. sadly, no one had warned kageyama of the intense effects of overstimulation. he was shaking and whimpering so badly behind you to the point where you had to ask him to pull out and bring him a glass of water to calm down

𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙰 » the first time you squirted on him, he just blatantly asked you these exact few words that left you feeling mortified: “did you just piss on me?” nuh uh hinata, this water fountain ain’t yours to drown in anymore >:( 

𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙺𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » kei was hitting it from the back pretty hard this time, so hard that you were suddenly... on an angle? suddenly, now you two were much closer to the floor than before. the bed ended up collapsing, yes literally collapsing due to kei’s powerful thrusts. worst part is, nobody got to finish since kei dragged you to ikea to grumpily buy a new bedframe. but hey, he bought you ikea meatballs; that shit hits so different

𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙶𝚄𝙲𝙷𝙸 » one super duper intense night, he passed out the SECOND he came. no matter how much you flicked the temple of his forehead, yamaguchi was dead asleep. you had to literally slap him awake to get him to clean up, you ain’t risking a ranky stanky UTI puthy in the morning

𝙾𝙸𝙺𝙰𝚆𝙰 » kept calling himself a sex machine during the act. i don’t know if it was due to the 6 tequila shots he had beforehand or just his inner ego revealing, whatever it was it was about to make your pussy close

𝙸𝚆𝙰𝚉𝚄𝙼𝙸 » this one time, he kept going in at a weird angle which caused you to repeatedly queef for 7 minutes straight. every time you told him to pull out and go in properly, he laughed and kept going in at that one weird angle!! was your embarrassment a turn on for him?? maybe!! but were you mortified? absolutely!!

𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙽 » i’m sorry to have to be the one to announce this, but this man had the worst case of full blown bush you’ve ever seen. like, he didn’t even try to manscape or anything at all. you ended up begging him to trim just a tiny bit because you weren’t gonna risk choking on a pube whilst your going down on him

𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙸 » rubbed your left labia thinking it was your clit. and he kept doing that. the whole. fucking. time. even when you subtly moved his fingers towards your clit, he just kept going back to the left lip.

𝙺𝚄𝙽𝙸𝙼𝙸 » had the most dry and dull dirty talk you’ve ever heard. like, it’s not even dirty talk at this point; it’s just clean talk. there’s no passion when he talks! he uses the same tone he would use for anyone else at any other moment. to paint the picture, imagine riding kunimi and he’s just there with a furrowed expression like “yup, that feels really good”

𝙺𝚈𝙾𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙸 » tried to pull one of those unexpected anal scenes that he saw from a porno, without telling you beforehand. life lesson here; if you party at shit's house, don't be surprised if shit's at the party

𝙺𝚄𝚁𝙾𝙾 » you two were looking to get a little more kinky in terms of BDSM, so kuroo watched like 30 tutorials on youtube on how to safely tie you up so you won’t fall or anything. this bitch ended up tying rope knots that were practically impossible to undo, which resulted in you hanging from the ceiling for approximately 2 hours pussy-ass naked while kuroo tried to cut you down with a kitchen knife

𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙼𝙰 » wanted to spice things up with some dirty talk, like the real nasty talk they use in pornos but not the normal pornos; the shitty company ones with horrific acting. he really ended up announcing that he was going to “fuck your fucking fanny off, you twat”

𝙻𝙴𝚅 » got super excited while he was opening the lube since he hadn’t gotten to fuck you in a WHILE, which resulted the lube leaked everywhere and a giant 6′5 man slipping and hitting his head on the bed frame. worst part is; he had to go to the ER with a hard on that refused to go away

𝙱𝙾𝙺𝚄𝚃𝙾 » speaking of boners that wouldn’t go away, let’s not forget that one time bokuto took two viagras when you texted him to come over for a special occasion. he horribly misinterpreted the ‘special occasion’ text, because he showed up to your house with a huge buldge in his pants as your parents stand before him holding anniversary cards, completely horrified

𝙰𝙺𝙰𝙰𝚂𝙷𝙸 » wanted to make valentines day sex as romantic as he could, so he did the classic lighting candles and giving roses. everything was beautiful, until he accidently knocked one of the bigger candles over during missionary. this not only caused a huge ass fire in your bedroom, but he came right as the fire began to spread. boy was debating on whether his orgasm was to die for or not

𝙺𝙾𝙽𝙾𝙷𝙰 » had a nose bleed when he was going down on you and you both were immediately horrified, you thinking it was your period and him thinking he just ate coochie blood. yet as you went to go clean up, you realized his face had much more blood on it than your coochie did. to this day, he still blames it on your period 

𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙹𝙸𝙼𝙰 » threw you onto the bed and your head went through the wall. he didn’t even bother to ask you if you were okay, he just sighed and went “well, now i have to make a call to the construction guy. excuse me” and he left you and your concussed ass head sit there once again, pussy ass naked

𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙾𝚄 » during a blowjob, he held your head down right as he was coming causing the cum to shoot up your throat and somehow pour out of your nose. by the time he pulled out, he could barely breath from laughing at you. sure, the classic ‘milk shooting out of nose’ thing was funny at first until you got a sinus infection and had to breath out of your mouth for the next three days

𝚂𝙴𝙼𝙸 » always insists having sex in the most inconvenient places?? like he would pull you to side while grocery shopping and start grinding up against you as you pick which brand of cheese would be better??

𝙶𝙾𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙺𝙸 » he kept getting frustrated that his bangs were clouding his field of vision, so he irritably grabbed a hair tie and frantically tied up the sides of his bangs while he was fucking you. you immediately burst out laughing since he looked exactly like boo from monsters inc. 

𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » got so drunk that he ended up fucking the couch. like he was just there on top of you, and his dick was just sliding between the folds of the leather couch. you decided to let him finish like that

𝚂𝙰𝙺𝚄𝚂𝙰 » had a really bad reaction to one of the products he used while shaving and ended up getting super irritated down there so he kept having to pull out in-between thrusts to itch his crotch. to make things worse, you joking suggested that he looked like he had syphilis and he got so disgusted at the idea of that thought that he literally had to pull out and take a breather 

𝙾𝚂𝙰𝙼𝚄 » drizzled ‘warm’ chocolate down your chest and was about to seductively lick it off until you screamed in pain and horror as the chocolate was literally burning your skin off. osamu panicked, obviously not knowing what to do if chocolate was burning his partners skin off so he just... frantically licked it off. you still had to go to the ER afterwards to get treated for mild burns

𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚄𝙼𝚄 » didn’t know what a hymen was until the first time he tried to have sex with you. no matter how much he tried to shove his schlong in, it really just wasn’t working + “yer puss is broken”

𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙰 » pinched your nipples so fucking hard to the point where you started crying. he thoughts these were tears of pleasure until you literally had to kick him off you. but hey, he gave you ice for your sore nipples and mcdonalds! what more could a girl possibly want :)

uh the end lol

also, this idea was inspired by the first haikyuu headcanon i ever read, “awkward sex moments” by @bbytetsu <3

[becauseplot]

Hohh wednesdays are busy for me so that + brainfog tuesday + physics hell = lots of Things needed to happen yesterday, but im back :D

Ehehehhehe more Factorial fic for me to chew on. Even if I have no idea what's going on I'm sure I'll like it for at least the writing.

Love my gel pens so so so much. Love using them up completely to write. When I was in middle school, I was gifted one of those big ol pen packs of like forty fuckmillion cheap gel pens in every color imaginable, and I burned through them so fast while writing. I kept them all in the bottom of my backpack and the collection grew to the point where I could just pull out a literal fistful of used-up gel pens going like ":D" to weird out my friends.

Oof sorry you're under the weather. Hope you get to feeling better soon :( And yeah goddamn your sister to reiterate I am scared of her but she sounds awesome. I've got an older brother who is also very cool---headstrong guy, which both helps and hurts him lol. He's trying to become a bartender and honestly, it sounds like the perfect job for him. He's very personable and just loves to talk to people and get to know them, and bartending would be the perfect job for someone who just loves to People.

Tbh it wasn't until more recently that I could say that my brother and I are friends. We argued a lot as kids and then for a good number of years he was just...kinda someone who lived in the same house as me. And then. Idk I guess somewhere between me going off to school and both of us individually working/going through some Stuff we finally got to know each other? And he's like, actually my friend now. And last year he made it clear that he truthfully, genuinely cares for me and will be there for me and ueueuueueue 0(-( I've never really had anyone in my corner like that before. Like my parents are great and I love em to bits and I've had some amazing close friends, but there are some things that you cant tell your parents and there are some things your friends cant help you with, ya kno? (URGHH im getting choked up thinking about this /pos thinking of my brother as my friend still feels so surreal to me.)

Also he's a poet! And like a really fucking good poet holy shit. Like I knew he loved songwriting for a while and had performed at slam poetry nights but I didn't realize how good he was until he performed one of his pieces for us at a family function and I was. Floored. We talk about writing and word choice on occasion and most of our texting conversations consist of funny posts we send each other. It's nice.

Ghost child getting a gentle ending this is all I wanted for him <3

Ohhh chaos! There is a lot going on there, really looks like everyone is scattered trying to get a handle on the situation, ohh absolute nightmare. The detail of Pac with the Doctor who is armed is suchhhh a good one. Really illustrates their dire situation, where the person who heals is forced to take up arms. Traditional war says "honor code---don't kill the medics, leave the wounded alone" but this war does not give a shit about any of that. (which happens irl. which makes this feel very, very, very human despite the nature of their circumstances.) (or perhaps it is because of the nature of their circumstances.) (i remember watching a bit of a show abt an alien invasion starting in different locations all over the world, and at some point an American soldier, a man from an invaded middle-eastern town, and the man's family were driving away in a car having escaped the aliens for now, and the American soldier commented to the man about how the man's wife and children in the back seat seemed relatively calm despite Everything that had happened and Everything they had seen because, you know, alien invasion. and the man replied that this is hardly the first time that they've been "invaded" by "aliens". and i think about that a lot.)

Archivists so beloved fr. You're right about Cellbit having to take care of Phil, it's so interesting watching Cellbit have this borderline identity crisis about if he's a "good man" or if he's actually capable of being gentle and using his hands to heal instead of hurt while he's like actively wrapping bandages and helping Phil. and Phil is just sitting there like "awww yeah Cellbit my trustworthy friend my friend whom i trust i put my life in your hands because i trust you yesyes". On the other way around, Phil---always has food on hand, values sleep, health potions up the wazoo when he can get his hands on 'em---taking care of Cellbit---lives primarily off of coffee, sleep is a naught but a distant memory, most likely got a deep-seeded walk-it-off complex from his time in the war---also has potential. late night in the Order Phil looking at Cellbit walking in looking half-dead and Phil asking him if he's alright and wrestling out of Cellbit the fact that Cellbit hasn't eaten yet and hasn't slept in however many fuckin days, Phil staring at him like "damn bitch you live like this?? go to BED man holy shit" Alternatively, Phil sees Cellbit is doing badly but Cellbit brushes it off until Phil mentions he left something in the other room and Cellbit's like "oh i got it" and stands up from the table a little too fast and [WINDOWS SHUTDOWN NOISE]. (<-this has been living in my head for too long i just gotta string some more coherent plot along w it) I'm more silly with them tbh but they live in my head. Cellbit regaining conscious to Phil being like "yeah i think youre done for the night mate" and Cellbit being like "idk what youre talking about im literally awake now i didnt even hit my head" "because i caught you dumbass" "look im good i promise, we can keep going" and Phil giving him a Look "...im messaging Roier" "no, wait--"

Just,,, thinking about pre-purgatory and both of their histories, Cellbit growing up in a warzone and Phil's nebulous "survivalist" background. They both push themselves but Cellbit is terribly self-destructive with it. Phil, having lived a long life, knows better how to pace himself and take the breaks when he can so he can be prepared for when shit really hits the fan, meanwhile Cellbit over here trying to brute force his way through an ongoing crisis, soldier on, fight or die run or die kill or die, it's always the worst case scenario. And Phil looking at him and thinking, "Does he know he doesn't have to give 100% all the damn time? Does he know that's not how you survive a crisis?" Little does Phil know that surviving the crisis is not always part of Cellbit's plans. Idk chewing on them.

The ingredients for an Archivists AU/fic are still on the counter I just gotta get them organized into something coherent and then I can tell you more. But the idea that it'll center around is "Marginal acquaintances forced to work together because reality is being weird and there is Something Going On and no one seems to notice it but them." (Issue: I don't typically write mystery like at all. If I ever write it, it will be Difficult.)

Yeah time with friends! My pre-uni friends are by far my closest ones. I don't rly have anyone that I'm close to here at university (making friends here is. hard. and. still an ongoing process.) so I'm looking forward to spending time w them.

They deserve ALL of the blankets and hot chocolate and X-factor on the couch. The world hurts them enough :(((

Ohhh Duchess sounds interesting :0 by "your NPC" do you mean you played her or you just wrote her or both? Just to be clear lmao im curious.

Really sucks not being able to study archeology bc shit health :( but at least that corpse knowledge is being put to good use.

Tbh I don't ever watch reality TV. Like, ever, I hate it, it's boring. However, during finals week last semester, between study sessions and exams one of my roommates would watch Hell's Kitchen and I'd drop in every now and then and watch some of it with her and we'd laugh at how dramatic it was and how shitty the contestants were to each other and cuss out the assholes. Loads of fun.

God I love hugs too. Absolute horseshit that your health prevents you from getting one >:/ I haven't had a hug from a friend in *googles* 67 days. When I see my friends during spring break I am going to full-body tackle one of them and force them to just lay on the couch w me. Gonna take a nap on them. They won't move bc that would make me sad and they wouldn't want to do that because then I'll revoke their kneecap privileges :>

I know nothing about Pokemon but I trust your process :thumbsup: Man idek what videogames i played as a kid lmao what did i even do? I think i just played Minecraft, Kirby Mass Attack, Mario Kart, and various Mario Bros games on loop. Much much much later I just played Breath of the Wild over and over and over and over. Hence my well-loved but currently abandoned botw au(s).

Adding Eric's Song to the list! Epic. Shooting one back at you: How Far We've Come by Matchbox 20. My personal end-credits song tbh. Makes me insane. I took an Apocalyptic Literature class (ALSO an incredible class with an incredible prof) and it gave me a new appreciation for it.

finished ep 10 of osnf (long post under the cut oh lord)

crying sobbing kicking over chairs screaming CELLBIT IS AN EVIL EVIL MAN WHY WOULD HE DO THAT. FOR WHAT REASON. POR CUAL RAZÓN. LO ODIO. <-said with the utmost adoration and respect of a writer but the fury of a fan who just had to endure all of that my hearttttt 0(-(

god fuck i have thoughts and feelings regarding episode 10 of osnf. obviously. i don't even know how to start.

okay. first of all the way that he was able to orchestrate the like 57839 different POVs of the nightmare happening at the same time was actually pretty smooth, all things considered. being able to forcibly mute/deafen the others is a good thing to be able to do yesyes.

second, im losing my mind over how he hides the fact that "it's all a dream" WITHIN the "it's all a dream" trope by having the creatures be manifestations of dreams/guilt in "reality" themselves. idk if i'm making any sense, but like, you get it, right? like, it's the fact that we thought we had already discovered the dream-based deceit in the segment because of what the "Hotelier" told Joui at the start of it, but it turns out that THAT was a red-herring of sorts for the TRUE dream-based deceit, that EVERYTHING was a dream, not just the creatures. god there are fucking layers to this im foaming at the mouth that's soooo good.

i guess that's what makes the "it's all a dream"-style trope present here feel less cliche. because, you know, it is a trope, and it's not really a trope that i'm fond of, but because there's actually more going on, it feels less cheap. what certainly helps is that the fact that it's roleplay, so the reactions from the characters are so much more raw, and there are some irl stakes (character dead = out of the series = can't play anymore). that definitely keeps you on the edge of your seat.

edit: something i forgot to mention—what i dislike abt the “it’s all a dream” trope the most is that it is very easily something that can be so, so cheap. all angst, no stakes or consequences, no lasting impact on the plot on the characters. however, not only is there a “physical” impact via several characters losing SHITLOADS of sanity (something not easily recovered) but we get to see a little more into the psyche of the characters. which i suppose is often the point of the “it’s all a dream” segments, but this dream—one with a lot of references to past major character death and itself contains major character death—rings especially true for the themes of the series: the world they live in is dangerous, and the work they do is lethal. people have and will die. and they do and will feel guilty, reguardless if they are at fault. it’s not a horrifying death dream just for the sake of being a death dream, it feels grounded in their reality, and i love that.

third, man he did not hold back. when Arthur was being beaten to a pulp by not!Brúlio, i was actually in shock, i was screaming. plus, i think the fact that Cellbit rolled a 001 when not!Brúlio attacked actually helped to hide the fact that this was a dream. it made it look like it was bad luck rather than the segment was designed to kill the characters (well, at least until he revealed that the damage was 1d4+1d6, but i'll get to that later).

gosh the narration of how not!Brúlio killed Arthur. holy shit. i don't. i don't even have words, that is DEVASTATING. that is probably one of the worst ways for a person to go. i know it's a dream but if i were Arthur i would be emotionally fucked up beyond belief. beaten to a bloody pulp by the father who once loved you so much, screaming at you for abandoning him and that it's your fault he died a horrible death. and then he drops your body on the ground like you're nothing but a pile of useless meat. god. damn.

and then Liz. ohhhh Liz. i just. i was devastated. her whole struggle with Alex, the man she treated so horribly. yes it's true the real Alex never would have said these things to you, but how do you know he wasn't thinking it? that he didn't want to? that what not!Alex says doesn't hold some truth? christttt. and of course the way she dies: in complete agony. and did she forgive herself? because, unlike with not!Brúlio, the creature turned into that weird wispy black thing just as she died, and i would assume that means she forgave herself (if those rules even apply considering this was all a result of the parasite's deceit (holy hell my brain is melting i am the man with the hand on the conspiracy board)).

fourth: the 1d4+1d6 thing! when he read that out, i was stunned. that is a LOT of damage considering all of the characters have ~10 HP. with an extreme roll, that's basically an insta-kill, or it's easily a two-hit-kill. i thought Arthur was unlucky, but when Liz also went down, i was---well, devastated, at first, because that's Liz, she's my absolute favorite and i love her, but i started going through all five stages of grief at once, and at some point i arrived at "no that can't be right" because Cellbit is a good writer. and to deliberately construct a scenario where it would be VERY hard for a character to survive while still in the middle of the story? yeah. and yknow the fact that there's still 6 other episodes fhdsjk. (then again the series continues regardless if a character dies and i haven't looked at other episodes' thumbnails or anything like that for this exact reason. so. i was going in as blind as i could reasonably be.)

in any case, realizing and connecting all of this and then hearing the "Hotelier" start yelling at Joui right after Liz died explicitly blaming him for it sealed it for me: this is a trick of some sort. this is a dream sequence of some sort. these aren't real deaths. (a smaller part of me was still scared that they were real because i know that Cellbit does not shy away from killing off his players' characters, if op and opq are anything to go by. but i digress.)

and then the characters turned to black goo. and i just about threw my computer. rip Luba who got absolutely targeted by the GM lmfao.

anyway uhhh that's about it regarding the dream sequence! loving luzidius!joui and how he just keeps switching back and forth. ((and it further supports my little side-theory that the mysterious blond woman last seen with Team Kelvin was a luzidious we win these.)) i was surprised to see Liz thinking it was so cool when she's been so suspicious of everything in Santo Berco since she got here, but i think she could definitely be using it as a distraction from what she just went through, and honestly she's just happy to see Joui is okay. (the way she gave on up words and just hugged him, the way she held his face in her hands, the way she dragged him down the hall to show Thiago and Thiago was just telling her to fuck off (/aff) because he was getting dressed, my heartttt i love these three, mentor-mentee dynamics my fucking beloved)

also new outfits! sweet! istg the new outfits are so Cellbit's way of apologizing for putting his friends through that. "hey sorry i killed your character in the most emotionally devastating way possible it will happen again wOAH LOOK AT THESE NEW CLOTHES AREN'T THEY SO COOL YOU SHOULD TRY THEM ON!!!"

i've been having mixed feelings about the sudden setting/genre change since the group arrived in Santo Berco. i really, really loved the urban horror-fantasy vibe that they had going on in op and the first 8 eps of osnf, but evidently, this is good as well. the genre is most definitely still horror yippee. i definitely miss the urban-modern setting, but i think i can get adjusted to this. (i'm just,,, not the biggest fan of the auto-heal crystals im sorry i had to say it they feel too op i know their use is limited to visiting the doctor but knowing they exist lowers the in-world stakes for me im sorry---)

anyway, ep 10! you beautiful monster! i have been typing for an hour! i need to go eat food! k bye!

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #128

Who was your first big crush? *Big* crush... I wanna say Sebastian? He was DEFINITELY my first "real" crush, but I'm not entirely sure if it reached the point of being "big," I really can't recall. If it wasn't him, it was DEFINITELY Jason.

Name someone you know who drives a green car: I don't believe I know anyone who does.

When was the last time someone drunk dialed/texted/left a voicemail? No one's ever done that, I think.

Has anyone ever told you that you talk in your sleep? More like scream. ALTHOUGH, my nightmares have gotten A LOT better lately; I haven't really been having them for maybe two-ish months, save for maybe an instance or two I don't remember. I have absolutely zero idea why they've suddenly fucked off after so many years of them just being normal and regular for me, but I will ABSOLUTELY take it.

Where did you last go out to eat at? Actually we were at Applebee's for dinner last night, because that's where Herb wanted to go. Mom and I aren't really fans/never go there otherwise, BUT the fries were actually really good.

Was your last breakup a bad one? No, honestly. Like yeah, it hurt, but whatever Sara and I had was NOT what I thought it was at the time, and I must've subconsciously known that with how quickly I was over it.

What was your favorite board game as a child? Haha dude I actually REALLY liked Mall Madness, even though I hated shopping irl. I don't quite know why I enjoyed it as much as I did. Also worth mentioning are various Cranium games, specifically Balloon Lagoon. Those games were legendary. Ashley's kids have been getting into them in recent times, primarily because Mom gifting them various ones; they have a lot of fun with Hullabaloo especially. By the way, those fuckers got INSANELY expensive, at least the ones from mine and my sisters' childhoods.

When are you going on vacation again? Don't know. I've been thinking for a while now though, IF I finally get a fucking job by this summer (because it's my idea and I wanna take care of it financially), I think I wanna go on a daycation or so with Girt to a hotel by the beach and just watch movies and play games together, stay there for a night. Neither of us actually like the beach itself, but I LOVE staying in hotels and seeing the view, at least. We really don't have "us" time enough or really go out much, and I think it'd be really good for both of us.

Who did you last have an alcoholic drink with? Sara. Or maybe Mom? Idk.

Who was the last person you were under the covers with? Girt. He didn't stay the night, but even when he doesn't he tries to stay with me until I fall asleep.

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yeah.

Name something great that happened today? My mom DIDN'T get fucking killed in a car crash very nearly caused by her technical stepfather who should in NO universe be on the road.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you really cried over? Two. Well, romantically anyway; I've definitely cried over my dad when he left. Hated his guts for years.

When was the last time you saw your father? Lol nice timing. Uh, I wanna say Emerson's bday party in February. Pretty sure.

Do you tend to make relationships complicated? I definitely don't think so.

Have you ever met any bands/band members before? in absolutely tragic news, no.

Who does most of the chores in your house? My mom.

Do you have an ensuite bathroom? Mom's bedroom does.

Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Did you like it? No, hopefully it stays that way.

Do you know how to set a formal table setting for a 3+ course dinner? No, and I absolutely could not give less of a shit. Just eat your food while keeping your surroundings clean, this "formal setting" shit is so unnecessary.

Are you in a good mood today? I have been SO up and down, idk man. I've been way more irritated than I am on a normal day, and at literally nothing.

Have you bought a bag of potato chips in the past week? No.

Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? Yes. And people who have died because of it.

Did you ever go to daycare as a kid? For what I'm pretty sure I remember being a SINGLE day. One employee spanked me simply for going into the wrong room (I had no idea I wasn't supposed to go in there) and were just generally mean and super rude; I VERY barely remember the details, but I recall enough that I was extremely upset. The only thing I do remember other than that other detail is some woman holding me while I sobbed my heart out until Mom came in. She left fucking furious and I never went there again; I'm pretty sure this is when our neighbors started watching me and my sisters.

When you go to a restaurant, do you prefer to sit at a booth or a table? Absolutely booth.

Has your car ever been broken into? I've never had my own car, but I'm quite positive no family car ever has been.

How old is your oldest cousin? Hell if I know.

Who was the last person you congratulated or said “well done” to? What for? My acquaintance I used to kinda regularly take pictures for, Bethany; she had her daughter yeeeesterday I think, all the while having the flu. She'd felt like death prior, so her induction date was delayed, but the baby said Nope and was suddenly here lmfao

What was the last show you watched an episode of? Dark.

^And which character in that show do you relate to, or identify with most? MAN IDK everyone in this fuckin show cheats and lies and there's also a GINORMOUS character cast that I very barely keep track of (I would be lost in this show without Girt, like it's just too complicated for me alone), I'm not even TRYING to mentally go through everyone. I'm super into it, don't get me wrong, it's just absolutely absurd how complex and tightly knotted its plot is.

Do you have any medical appointments coming up anytime soon? I constantly do, I'ma be real. I know I'm getting labs done on Monday, then I'll be seeing the endocrinologist when those results come in. Therapy should be coming up soon, too. I would not be even remotely surprised if there's more within the next two-ish weeks. I also go to PT twice a week, but idk if you count those.

Do you say "I love you" to anyone daily? I know Girt and I do. If Mom ever leaves the house without me, she also says it, but that doesn't happen every day.

Do you know anyone named Vanessa? Tell me a little bit about this person. Yes. The vast majority of the "alt" kids in high school knew her because she was the one very obviously emo African American in our school, and I feel like I remember her being pretty outgoing?

When was the last time you felt unable or unwilling to speak your mind to someone? Today, actually, and I've realized I really need to bring this up in therapy; I plan to next visit. Just lately my mom has been absolutely fucking awful about getting so annoyed about me forgetting various things and also just answering genuine questions I ask her like I'm a complete fucking idiot and it's really affecting me. She's done this forever, but it's just been worse lately, I guess because my memory only ever seems to get worse, but also life has just been busy. It's mostly upsetting me just because I KNOW my ability to remember and also just process information in general changed greatly post-trauma, which is apparently a legit thing, and it makes me feel like total fucking garbage. I already think I'm dumb as shit, I don't need my mother contributing. It's not like I ever choose to forget appointments or where she has to go today etc. etc., but she constantly acts like I'm making a deliberate choice and it's become extremely hurtful by now. I don't want to bring it up outside of therapy because I know what happens when you disagree with my mother or point out something wrong she's doing: she gets defensive as shit and takes it as total disrespect.

Are you more likely to give advice or to ask for it? Ask for it.

Do you like Tootsie Rolls? They've never been a candy I've sought out. I can have like one if it's offered to me and it's whatever, but I don't like them, really.

What is your most expensive bill? I don't pay my own bills yet and it's fucking humiliating by now.

Do you sleep alone or with someone every night? Wish it was the latter, but alone on the vast majority of nights. Girt and I are both really ready to just live together but that fucking housing market though. He's been stressed lately about his mom and her wellbeing falling so unevenly onto him when he has an older sister, and it's completely fair for him to feel like it's just unfair sometimes, because the balance between him and Ashley keeping her afloat does seem alarmingly uneven. I'm not gonna delve deep into his family business here, the gist is just he wants to be able to live like a "real" adult with his own life. I've been more aggressively looking for work than I already was because of all this, I want to be able to help.

What are you favorite kind of chips? Typically hot ones, like hot crunchy Cheetos or Takis. I've actually been craving hot chips TERRIBLY for a lil while now, I want Takis so bad lmao. I also really love Cool Ranch Dorito's.

What color is your mousepad? It's black. Super old, though. I'd actually like to get a new one that I like, but that's very low on my list of priorities.

Has anyone you know been arrested recently? Uh not that I know of.

Where is your favorite person? He's home now, work's over for him for the weekend.

Are there any plants in your house? Mom has a couple, yeah. I think I'd like to get at least one for my room when I redecorate.

Have you seen the entire Harry Potter series? I'm very grateful I never got into that, JK Rowling can rot in hell with all the other TERFs.

Do you still have both of your parents? Yes. I don't see or talk to my dad a lot at all, but he's still there.

Do you enjoy cuddling? If you're Girt and I'm not hot, yes. Once I'm notably hot, I barely want to be touched.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Not one that was even remotely realistic because I was literally a virgin lmao, look when you have a very legitimate pregnancy phobia the dumbest shit will make you scared.

Do you ever suspect your significant other of lying to you? I honestly don't. He's given me every reason to trust him.

Does anyone you know ever recommend books to you? No.

What made you feel cheerful today? Nothing. Really not into how my mood's been today.