#i dont know if id even have the motivation to write anyway

[anxiousgaypanicking]

me when i want to accept writing commissions vs the depression thats been eating me inside and out

[complete-clownery]

Hahaha okay rant about this amazing fanfic (you probably heard of this one already but still)

So whenever it comes to explaining and writing under my posts I just get lazy but I need to push through this cuz I need to talk

So the fanarts were made for the lmk fanfiction sunbreak, that a lot of you (probably mostly shadowpeach shippers) had read, and it is amazing, I read trough it as fast as my brain let me and as you can see it has pleasantly scratched my brain so much so that I even (attempted) to make fanart for it

Ngl if I wasn't a major pussy I would try to illustrate the whole thing or make covers for each chapter but Im unable to work on something more than 2 hours and I would want those to look good, but good looking art (if I don't mess up) takes 6 hours ughh--- annoying much---

Anyways I'm not good with literature but man is this fix a masterpiece *chefs kiss* its everything its amazing, I was unable to put it down once I started it

Okay i dont think I have the brain capacity to explain how much I worship the writer of this masterpiece @ladygreenfrisbee , so i'm just going to talk about the drawings a tad

So first picture with Red Son and MK its sort of like an au in the fic where the whole lbd plot is somehow nonexistent and after Macaque gets to his sisters domain they settle down and raise the kids together without much of an issue aside from assassinations keep happening and trying not to get in trouble with the heavens

Id like to think that Gongzhu still wouldn't let the court tailors to put any form of red or gold on MKs outfits and only allowed the yellow after when MK was old enough to declare that yellow was his favorite color, but even now she would insist on some form of purple and shadow motives to let others know who the mother is

We also got baby MK and toddler Red Son and sassy LIF and Mac

Third pic with the lion: I don't know what it was or why but I just love general Song so much--- he's a major dickhead but sgvshshsevkdididhr (actually I kinda love all the original characters in this one, from the generals to the old lady in the beginning of the book, (gosh I also wanna draw some scenes from those chapters I loved how Mac and she interacted hshsjsj))

so chapter 34 was probably my favorite so far I re read it about two more times cuz it was amazing to see Macaque being the schemer he is and try to piss of Song lol

Last picture: its a sketch/a wip or whatever (probably not going to finish it but im still putting it there cuz its somewhat decent looking)

Its the part where Wukong remembered of Macaque finally finding him and asking for him to come back to flower fruit mountain.

I tried to make Macaque look more unhinged on this one but since I didn't finish it I dont think its that noticable so fuck that but I also gave him a halo like the saints to symbolise his suffering and what not (thought it looked cool and fitting think whatever you want about it lol)

And that all ((((hollly mother))))

If you read this trough, thank you and congrats👏👏

[simping4-2manyppl]

Hello, how r u? I had this request, and I was wondering if you could write it please? It's abt Bill (maybe during 2008) who goes to yn's concert with the rest of the band (yn is Bill's n°1 celebrity crush) and they meet for the first time after the concert during an after party and it's just really cute, yn and Bill are shy and obviously like each other etc plus paparazzis took pictures of the two talking with each other... Have a nice day

Bill Kaulitz 🎤

Crush

Hii im goodd tysm for asking!! Id love to do this request its been sitting here for a while but i finally got the motivation to finish this! hope you enjoy it, sorry for the wait xx

Bill x reader

Not proof read!!!!

Bill had been a big fan of yours for quite some time, so when he found out you were going on tour he was so excited, he made sure to get his assistant to buy some tickets right away!

Once bill was there with the rest of the band he was amazed by hearing you sing live, but he enjoyed his time along with the others, bill had gotten them to like your music aswell!

After you had gotten off the stage you had learned that tokio hotel had attended your concert, you had known about them from them being all over tabloids, as they were currently doing really good in the music world.

You smiled at this info and had been rushed to get ready for your after party that a lot of people were gonna be at.

You had made sure to pick out an outfit beforehand so you got dressed and got your makeup redone by the awesome makeup artists you had, you thanked them and went out backstage with your bodyguards getting into the car and making your way to the after party.

Once you got there you greeted everybody, waving and making small talk until you approached another guest, bill kaulitz.

You were quite nervous but excited to meet him, you had heard some of their songs which you loved.

“Hi..” you said putting your hand out for him to shake, a blush creeping over your face. “Hello..” he said, also blushing but shaking your hand.

You felt as if time was going by really slow as you both stood there, hands still connected but both looking down too shy to say anything.

You felt a small spark once you connected hands, butterflies immediately rumbling in your stomach as you realized your hands were still together.

You pulled away softly, “sorry about that!..” you said nervously, “o-oh! No dont worry about it! Its okay..” he said as you both still stood close, faces extremely red.

It wasnt anything to get flustered over since you had just greeted about a million people before him but you had just shut down completely, and in a good way.

You decided to shake off the shyness you felt and invited him over to sit down, also offering him a drink.

He accepted and you quickly got two drinks for the both of you, sitting down on the couch and handing his drink over to him.

You took a small sip, trying to figure out what to say, but you were taken out of your thoughts when he spoke up.

“You did really good today! At your concert i mean, haha.. Anyway, i also really liked your outfits. Everything was great i can see why you’re becoming famous very fast!” He said with a smile, taking a sip of his drink.

You blushed and smiled back, “thank you! Ive seen you perform aswell, not live but from what ive seen you and your band are great! I love how you really go off and do your best in every show! I know its tiring but you really do amazing.” You said rambling, the pink tint on your cheeks becoming more visible.

He chuckled and mumbled a thank you, the both of you finally warming up to eachother and talking more, it really felt like it was only you two there but unfortunately you hadnt noticed the paparazzi taking pictures from the window behind the couch you both were sat in.

Too focused on conversation, that you didnt even noticed bills band members show up infront of you.

You had quickly greeted them, blushing as you felt embarrassed that you hadnt noticed anyone standing there, possibly listening to your conversation with bill.

Although you got lucky because they eventually left to some other part of the party and you stayed talking all night long with bill, too engrossed in the conversation and by the way he would tell you stories with such detail that you didnt even realize your phone buzzing constantly from messages and random people tagging you in the new pictures of you and bill.

After you spent all night talking you had accidentally fallen asleep on the couch, your head layed on bills shoulder as you rubbed your eyes at the sunlight, finally waking up.

You had grabbed your cellphone to check the time but had seen your phone blown up with the thousands of messages instead.

You rubbed your eyes as you got up looking at the pictures you had been tagged in shocked.

The paparazzi had released the pictures of you and bill talking, some were just of you and him laughing and smiling or just being too close to eachother.

You groaned, annoyed that the media had taken something so innocent into something it wasnt, but thats what they did best right?

Bill had woken up, putting his hand on your shoulder, “are you okay?..” he said with a raspy voice, as he had just woken up.

You frowned and showed him your phone, handing it to him. “Sorry they had to ruin this, all we did was talk, they’re saying crazy things.” You said rolling your eyes.

He chuckled, handing the phone back to you, “doesnt matter, i enjoyed last night. Getting to know you was the best part of my day.” He said smiling, “and if they like to assume things well.. maybe we should make what they say true.” He said smirking, grabbing your chin.

Your breath hitched as you felt nervous, the butterflies in your stomach suddenly returning. He had leaned closer in to you and placed his lips onto yours.

Your worries had all gone away as you closed your eyes kissing him back. Your lips moving in sync as he suddenly placed his hand on your cheek, deepening the kiss.

You broke apart, taking in breaths of air completely flustered, as he swiped your lip giving you a smile, his cheeks also red.

You both chuckled as you placed another kiss on his lips, smiling.

What a great After Party.

[conivolos]

its a thursday night in december

its hot

 the windows open

and theres my fan by the foot of my bed

pointed up the side of my bed

i feel it brush against my arm 

and my temple and my hair

thats not pinned down by my headphones

i don't recognise the song playing

its nice anyway

in the shitty music kind of way

i taste fanta at the

back of my throat

id throw up if it was more sickeningly sweet

almost

like when you dont brush your teeth for a while

sweet, sugary, 

like old cheese

ive gone through three songs since ive started this

well 

the third just started

i dont know the name

but ive heard it before

its nice

im under my doona

writing this on my shitty chromebook

i got for year five

when we moved here

the doona ends at the cut of my ribs 

the rest open to air

and my cavetown shirt

i want to run

from everything

responsibility

myself

this fucking song

thats all romantic and self deprecating 

kinda tragic

but still ukulele comphet shit

i want to run

itd be easy

dont fucking look back

im good at that

i

i dont think things feel right

fake

very far away?

not quite

fake is closer

the feeling of running my hands over my arms

fake

not real

i think im going to stand my ground

in the face of everything

not run

head on a swivel or something

maybe still looking forward

i just

have to take a step back

and open my fucking mouth

or 

i could run

i cant open my mouth

what are words anyway?

they get stuck and muddled under your tongue

nothing feels real

i dont think this song is helping

this is the second one since the comphet

or whatever

maybe ill open my mouth

wheres my motivation gone?

i can make excuses

not even half truth

maybe quarter truth

it would be easier to open my mouth 

than it is to run

its not easy to speak

its easy to break out in a sprint

crash first

or 

crash later

i want to go home

i think im broken

i know im over exaggerating

i know

i know

im no one

nothing

if i could just open my mouth

i would still be no one

but a better no one

i dont know

i want to run

i think im going to open my mouth

stand my ground

be okay

i think

ill be 

ill be

ill

be

[domoriu]

i have some questions and i was wondering if you could answer them because you’re one of my favorite writers on here. plus you’re stories and vibe are very similar to mine so i’d love to here your POV!

do you have any advice and this on how to start a fanfic writing account? (on tumblr!)

how to make write good as in flow, wording, better sentences, etc? ik for this one it’s going to take practice but since i write a little already i was wondering how to make my writing actually sound good? (because urs is amazing!)

tips on motivation to write and post?

how is it as a writer on onedoorblr? (fics for bonedo) in terms of like the space to be able to post “different” stories. (hybrid, abo, freakysmutlol, femdom, dark as in tragedy’s and horror.) plus interactions, notes/likes?

sorry if this is a lot but i didn’t know who else to ask and you feel like a safer option to me of that makes sense? anyways we all love you and your stories a lot! 🩶 i hope the rest of your week is amazing (*^_^*)

OKAY I HAD TO GET ON MY LAPTOP TO ANSWER THIS ONE SINCE ITS A LOT!! also sorry if my advice is a little weird ive genuienly been in the fanfic scene for like 8 years now since i was 11 so i dont even know the answer to these myself (not my proudest moments btw...) so i'll try to give the best advice i can <3

1. i think... start off by finding a username that you think suits you a lot, and then worry about theme and all that just so your account looks good to your own eyes i think that'll really help with getting motivated to write (for me at least) and also really just have fun with it !! figuring out what you want to do on your page is also important so you can set those boundaries for yourself as well as the people engaging in your content but also always remember its your page so you can really do whatever you please. and dont be too discouraged by numbers because once you feel like its not fun and you're putting too much pressure on yourself it gets hard to make content.

2. for word building/flow all that kind of stuff... really imagine the scenarios in your head (maybe even act them out if you can, to make sure everything is flowing properly) if you're writing smut, what helps me is i look up sex positions or look up porn to get a good idea on the positioning and how to write things out. for word flow, i always have a thesaurus tab open that way i'm not using the same basic words repeatedly (this is probably the most helpful piece of advice imo, i love the thesaurus super bad) and also if you ever feel like the work isn't good or needs a little tweaking id say read it over, try to read it from the pov of someone who's reading your work for the first time or even get someone to beta read for you and give suggestions for any errors or anything that needs a bit of tweaking

3. for motivation, write down the gist of any idea you have down immediately because you might forget it or you'll just never have the motivation to really finish it. i have so many fic ideas locked away in a vault because i started writing the idea when the excitement for it died down or i completely lost motivation to write it because my brain wanted to move onto another fic idea.

write on your own schedule. just because you have a following doesn't mean you need to put out a new fic every single day, give yourself time to recollect your thoughts and work on a piece where you can put all of your attention into so you can be truly proud of your work !! because what's the point of writing something if you yourself don't even like it. and a lot of us have lives outside of tumblr, so don't pressure yourself to constantly write because soon you might get burnt out. i think having people who actually like my works is a lot of motivation as well as not feeling rushed to put things out so its like a little treat when i post something big

4. i love the people on onedoorblr !! the community isn't super big but she's growing a lot since i joined this fandom in april... and id say the range is pretty good with the people on here and everyone has their own unique things going on. i think its a pretty safe space here to write about "different" stuff, a lottt of my mutuals are all on the femdom kick when it comes to bonedo and there's a good balance of smut writers and people who write more fluffy things, i'm not sure how common the abo/hybrid/dark content fics are on onedoorblr since i don't tend to read fics in those categories but i have seen a couple hybrid bnd fics in passing !

since bnd tumblr is still kind of small you might not get a lot of notes upfront but it definitely builds up, unlike nct/enha/riize tumblr where you can basically get around 500/1k+ notes on a post within a couple days it might take a week or two also depending on who you write about. but don't get discouraged by it !! some members are just more popular in the fanfic world than others

i hope this was helpful and dont be afraid to ask any more questions >_< thank you soso much for liking my works and im glad u feel like my page is a safe space for questions that means a lot to me !! i hope your week is amazing as well <33

[bulletproofscales]

Hey there, hope you’re well! Love your work, it’s amazing. Hope you don’t mind me asking, but was really interested in how you started writing BTS wg fics and which member of youe favourite to write about? always love your work and excited for whatever comes next :)

omg hiii!! ⸜( *ˊᵕˋ* )⸝ first of all, thank you soso much for the support?!!?!? it always makes me happy to see likes/reblogs/ao3 comments from blogs i recognize (ಥ﹏ಥ) and this ask,,, youre making my day.

i got inot a ramble so ill put one of these hehe sorry (ง ื▿ ื)ว

i dont mind the question at all!! even if i was a deep lurker in feedism communities of most of my fandoms. looking "chubby draco malfoy " into google images since 2012 (￣▽￣*)ゞ and later religiously following wg-writers of whatever fandom i migrated through. i would always send so many asks, and when i got into BTS i was older, and properly aware of what feedism was, and actively looking for it on tumblr. back then it was a handful of people with now deactivated blogs and @bangtanstummies (who as im writing this blog see has a deactivated blog as well :,) , i swear going through my dms is like going through a cementary) . i try to stay in touch with as many of the people now as i can!! but everyone will know im the suckiest at texts (@cookiesuga55 will know ) but id love to chat more and be more present

anyway back to the community in 2018, i really loved their stuff, and i felt like there was still room to add new ideas (which was hard in a fandom with as much fanficiton as BTS's) , thats what inspired to make my blog!! back then it was claled bangtangchub, and i didnt know how to activate my asks, bangtanstummies was the one to let me know and we even got into a discord all of us together!!! crazy times ( ◡‿◡ *) i remember being the oldest of the group👴 i was 15 at the time, some coudl argue it wasn't my place to be writing fetish fanfiction, maybe theyre right. but i found such a happy place in my fics. not only have i met some of my closest friends through here; (people ive met in real life!?!? ) but its helped me so much to find a safe place to explore my emotions, sexuality, and craft a hobby that was all my own. i dont think im that good of a writer, but i am really so proud of having stuck to something for so long, and having worked on it all by myself.

often times i feel like i lack the motivation to do anything with my life, and just all-around consider myself someone who lacks the strength and backbone to really do hard things. and i like to think of this blog, and my journey in it, as a place that proof i can... idk,, be good at things i worked hard on.

ANYWAY!! that was a long rant. As for the character i like writing the most about!! welli role play as jungkook almost daily! so i do feel a lot of myself in him. but i love writing all characters, over the years i really made an effort to not fall into a comfortable ship, because i really do think you could spin a wheel and whatever combination of bts members ahs their own unique loving dynamic.

as for things to come!! im working on a fic inspired by some art i saw recently by @gigichingado , jikook, im really liking how its turning out, and ofc because its me, its stretching out more and more in the build up ( _ _ ") . but i want it done over this week!! ps, i saw your obese tae requests, and i can definetly get something out after that (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

thank you for asking and giving me a place to rant!!

[dwarfsized]

things that i would like to know about my fellow writers!

tagged by @aevallare thank you my looovveee

i will tag @simon-says-nothing and @raccooncrimes!

Last book I read: 

i am stalled on The Witch King by Martha Wells, not because it isnt good but just because. lmao. If im reading, i cant be writing. or sewing. or or or. The last one I remember finishing was This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone, and i loved that.

Greatest literary inspiration: 

I put part of a Mary Oliver poem on my graduation cap. Also genuinely quite inspired by Tamsyn Muir.

Things in my current fandom I want to read but I don't want to write:

I dont know if I'd ever try my hand at a modern au but i adore aevallare's pour one out.

I certainly wont write no-magic or all-human aus (I like tieflings a normal amount, she says, lying) but I'm sure someone could do something cool with those.

Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: 

:') i already think this about my work but i write it anyway. who wants to read astarion stuck in a druid grove when he's [redacted]?? well, i do, so now we have eldath's mercy.

i am working on a story rn where kira is a ghost haunting the szarr palace. do i think very many people will be interested in that? i dont know! but I want to write it, and at least one other person probably wants to read it, so. eventually, it will go up onto ao3.

id love to do something with a focus on minthara. she's going to matter in true colors but that's not going to happen for a while. for now i rotate her in my brain.

You can recognize my writing by:

7000 word chapters where fully half the words are the characters thinking sooo hard, mid-chapter pov shifts, asides about tiefling/druid culture that i've made up whole-cloth, tail mentions.

My most controversial take (current fandom):

if you mod anyone in the game to look younger/more conventionally attractive i am putting you in the oubliette in my mind-palace. why cant you like these characters as they are. i thought we enjoyed this game

if you mod gortash clean or mod away a character's scars, i am putting you in the oubliette inside of the oubliette in my mind-palace.

Current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut):

2 babeyyyy, but if i could instead shelve all the current wips and start wip #15 id be at an 8. alas! i cannot do this.

Top three favourite tropes:

in no particular order:

when a character's specific past experiences lead them to a wrong conclusion that is soooo wrong but like, ohhh sweetie. of course you think that.

magic that has a cost, even divine magic, and cannot fix everything

you were not selected for this. anyone could have been the person in this position. but you are here now, and you have to do the task. get to it.

are these even tropes? do i know what tropes are anymore. help

Share a random frustration:

I USUALLY AVERAGE 700 WRITING WORDS A DAY BUT IVE BEEN EDITING ELDATH'S MERCY CH 2 FOR ALL OF APRIL AND IT HAS BROUGHT MY AVERAGE WORD COUNT DOWN TO 26. 26 WORDS A DAY. BITING. BITING AND YELLING.

[pencilnewt]

I dont think I have seen somebody draw as beautifully as you have, really.

The colors you use to draw make the photograph, as does the shadowing. And your ideas? Genius.

How did you learn all this great technique? Was that something you have always done or did you just start drawing?

I hope I could just tell you how amazing your art is to me (and many others)✨

thank you so much omfg!!

it’s definitely taken a lot of time and practice, i didn’t just wake up one day and know how to draw the way i do rn!! and im still learning all the time, im very self-taught!! gonna fish thru my instagram for a min and grab some screenshots of old art to demonstrate this in a sort of timeline but it feels very self-indulgent (which i try not to be too often haha) so it’s under the cut if anyone wants to see :3

i feel like im able to create something approaching the art i see in my head for the first time in my life and im SO grateful for any and all support people have given me while im doing that in a way i literally cannot express like i read EVERY SINGLE tag people leave on my art on here and it makes me want to fucking cry <3

quickly first of all i use CSP version 1 these days but over the past 9 years i’ve used nearly every free drawing program available - krita, 🏴‍☠️photoshop, firealpaca, autodesk sketchbook, ibis paint, medibang…

anyway some sketchbook drawings circa 2016/age 13 (earliest i have photos of, but i have one earlier sketchbook somewhere) at which point human anatomy was still an utter mystery to me:

got my first drawing tablet in 2017 - a little wacom intuos draw, which i don’t think they make anymore, but i still used it until about a year and a bit ago when i bought my xp-pen display tablet w my first paycheck. i think this was literally the first thing i drew on there:

a bit of a jump to 2019 (this is where i got my love for fuzzy chalky textures i think):

i try not to think about the dsmp era too much but that’s where i made some big strides (especially in my colouring) because i felt a lot of consistent motivation to draw!

& then spent a LOT of time doodling my dnd character over the past year & doing some other little reference studies when i could find the time between writing my undergrad dissertation etc. this helped me nail down drawing faces better than b4.

i’d doodled some hockey stuff on and of for the past couple of years but only started properly drawing or posting anything at the end of september!! gotta say a big THANK YOU to everyone who reblogged pens snoopy when i first posted him bc without the support from people on here i don’t think id have initially been so motivated to keep making this art that i’ve loved drawing so so much. and i’ve made friends & mutuals that i’m even more grateful for :3 1st vs most recent:

i have lots of things i wanna keep working on, here are some:

more detailed backgrounds & lighting (biggest barrier here is terrible Can’t Be Bothered syndrome)

recognisably simplifying/stylising people more!! i can do this a bit but my strength is defo semi-realism i feel

improving my composition/making it more intentional. this is the biggest reason behind making those stamp designs actually (could go into much more detail in another post about what’s behind lots of the hockey pieces i’ve made, if anyone would like to hear about that. there’s semi-often something im trying to specifically work on or practice)

more movement & dynamism!!

this is probably so obvious but i’m like. passively learning from looking at other artists’ work all the time as well as practicing. if i really like a piece of art i see online i’ll try and identify exactly WHY i like it so i can think about how i might improve my own art.

if you read this far i’m in love w you <3

[maxivstappen]

Hiiii i just wanna say i love your writing and i want to get into writing fics but i dont know where to start do you have any tips?

thank you so much! I have a few tips you can read down below :) or just dm me!! id happy to answer some more questions if you’d like

im quite a creative person so everytime i listen to songs, i make up stories following the lyrics! that's why for my 1k event, i chose song requests — thats where i get my inspo from anyway!

as example, writing "the greatest" was very easy for me because i went from lyric to lyric — so while i did have to make it my own story (pairing, storyline etc.) i already knew what the main point of the story was — feeling unappreciated / ignored in your own relationship, which obviously is meaning of the song.

at some point you will just go along with your own ideas from start to finish, but it's also okay if you don't. for me it's definitely easier to write to songs because i can basically 'hear' the vibe i want my readers to feel while reading my story — for the greatest, that was frustration, sadness, etc.

for the actual act of writing i don't have many tips as i am not a native speaker. all i can say is, write what you read. and i don't mean that as in 'steal other people's work', but rather as the act of finding different wording or phrasing to make your stories more appealing.

you could write ‘they felt nervous’ or you actually describe how said person’s hands were shaky and their breath unsteady — i think you get what i mean.

if you asked me to write a story in german, it would be a lot better than my english writing here on tumblr. but i’ll just keep reading and reading and reading until i can improve my own writing the way i want to :)

so - just write whatever and whenever you feel like. motivation comes and goes, so does inspiration. i have a wip that’s been sitting in my notion app for months now, but i managed to write ‘the greatest’ in maybe 4 days.

my main tip tho is to just write!!! if you have any ideas, type them down immediately. you can keep going immediately or just continue whenever you find the time or the inspo again - but you at least have something written down already.

school’s been fucking my head lately so idk if anything of what i’ve said even makes sense so im sorry if it doesn’t 🫶🏻

[smoosnoom]

Hello!! I’ve been a fan of your fics for a while and I was wondering what your writing process is like? I haven’t written a fic in ages and I honestly miss it, so I was wondering how you tend to get started or find inspo :^)

u are so kind hello thank u so much i am glad u enjoy the things i write !!!! it means the world :D !!!

hmmm . i actually havent been writing any fics as of late but thtas mostly been for how stressed and busy i have been . but !!! i can tell u that my process is very much . a lack of one . i write oddly and strangely and i am a mess about it . i usually write a few lines in a scene and jump around from one part to another, wherever i feel my mind leaning towards i tend to go there and feed it ! its not very much a process as it is an . experience .

however, if im very much intentionally trying to get started on a fic i usually just . open up a doc and write the first sentence that pops up in my head . it doesnt matter if it is the most mundane and uninteresting thing, because the first draft is very rarely perfect . the main goal is to have something written down, because if u keep going, then that one mundane sentence builds up to create a showstopping paragraph and thats where u get the most motivation and satisfaction !!! so id say if ur very caught up with urself and thinking that nothing ur writing is good enough and u keep backspacing and have urself stuck in the same spot, then just . keep writing . keep going forward even if its grueling and absolutely terrible . after u have dug urself a tunnel out of that hole, u can go back and make it a proper staircase . u just need to get to where u want to be, and once u are satisfied or content, u can go back and fix what u want

if u find urself unable to do that, then i say seek out other media that really entices or evokes emotion in u . nothing (in my opinion) is as inspiring as a good piece of fiction or art or music or dance ! listen to music u wouldnt usually listen to or check out a friends movie recommendation, just try to push yourself out of the usual things you watch or read or listen to on repeat . taking the time to listen to something new and finding one good song that sticks with me for three weeks is the kind of stuff that has me writing 4 fics in one month !!!

anyway . i hope some of this was helpful or useful at all, if none of it was or if i just . didnt do a very good job of answering ur question, then let me know :) and the most important part of the writing process is just that, to write !!! write whatever it is, and if ur stuck in a block or arent proud of anything ur writing, then write the first thing in ur brain ! if u dont like that either, then thats fine !! just keep going until u find a rhythm . and if u dont, try again and again and again ! i am a firm believer in that trying makes all the difference . is that too cliche idk ! but i think its true

so . anywho . please let me know if any of this is actually useful to u :) id love to know how it goes, and please feel free to drop by with an update or anything !! thank u for the ask !!!!

[chaoxfix]

🕯️🪄🌻 for the meme!

ty for the ask!! <3

🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

ahh... hmm. i like putting out the energy i want back. if i read something i try to comment, and if i dont like something or am not interested in the concept, i just dont react because it's so much worse to upset someone over something they worked hard on.

i really don't think kudos are a very good expression of appreciation, as it has almost no room for real connection. fics are free, you know? when something is free but gives you joy, you should probably meet it with love, and love in a way that really shows why you like it. thats why i think comments are much better. i get why it can cause anxiety, but there's really no wrong way to comment unless youre 1) being an honest to god jerk, 2) pointing out something you dislike / something that you think the author was "incorrect" about (especially if the commenter is the one whos wrong lmao. either way i really dont think free fanfiction is like. lol. the place to do public criticism. just saying.)

im a rather anxious person irl, so im not really sure exactly what every single other anxious person's obstacles are or how to bridge them. because of that, i won't try to give universal advice since it's something i cant be an expert on if my experience is so different.

but i will say, for myself -- i mitigate my anxiety by practicing gratitude. i weaponize my people-pleasing for good by trying to be someone who makes other people feel genuinely good. and there's nothing better than feeling appreciated and praised for things that have value. and that kind of thing usually comes back around.

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

ahh... hmmm...

if it's late at night (after midnight) when i post it, i go to sleep so i wont stay up refreshing the page to see what people say, or worse stay up editing all the typos that "suddenly appear" in ao3 formatting lol. that way even if no one reads it overnight or there are errors, it's okay because at least i can face the day with some sleep.

if it's not late at night when i post it, i try to go for a walk to again avoid constantly refreshing the page for feedback or immediately editing it. bc its not super healthy to spend even more time on it after whats probably been hours and hours, and i dont want my entire day fixated on something i should be done with.

i dont really celebrate much though, probably because i just kind of expect myself to make things of a quality i can stand behind. i didnt really grow up getting praised despite being an overachiever bc it made others around me feel bad when i got a lot . . . so i. have to really try and make something worthy of praise to feel like i deserve it. idk. haha. so anyways overall i try to lean more and more into 'i dont need validation' because id hate to put all my eggs in that basket -- not just because i dont want to be motivated by others' praise, but also because, i dont want to stop writing for the opposite reason, if someday i no longer feel like the quality of work i produced actually deserved the amount of feedback it got.

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

low motivation for long stretches, and losing interest in the things others like best, make me want to stop writing. both with fandom and original. low motivation usually coincides with depressive stints for me, and it makes me feel awful. like i cant do the one thing i like best, because i just can't motivate myself. when i finally manage it, it's crap for the first thousand words, then it gets better.

for me though, what makes me keep going is getting others to see my vision. getting them to feel what i aim to make them feel; crafting stories that, maybe theyre not perfect, but the emotions they generate are enough. it really is hard without an audience. even though i'm not motivated as much by getting a ton of validation, i do need at least a little lol, even just someone to say "yes. i see you. i understand what you needed me to feel from this, and i felt it." which is why i have original writing friends as well, for original stuff.

buuut also, i also keep going because i like being able to jot down what im thinking/imagining so that i can revisit it later and go back to that feeling, that moment in time where i was absolutely positive of that scene

thank you again for asking!! ^^

[titsoutfortntduo]

this ones been in my drafts for like 2 months whoops

anyways spoilers for re-animator if thats something you care about! also any accompanying cws that come with re-animator (aside from one. watchers of the movie can guess). I’ll try to explain but non movie watchers might be a little lost sorry

anyway yeah Wilbur would be Herbert West and Quackity would be Dan Cain. I feel like Dan/Quackity just kind of have this “I want to get through life and maybe help people while im at it” vibe, if that makes sense? I think cQ was a bit closer to entertaining rather than helping (but isnt that some form of helping in and of itself?), which does lead me to the kind of idea that cQ does it for attention as well. but I digress! thats a discussion I’ll elaborate on later

Meanwhile Wilbur “cat dead; details later” Soot is rolling up to the Miscotonic university, hubris in one hand and reagent in the other, and starts trying to assert himself. He the kinda fella to do evil science I tend to default Schlatt to villain sometimes, I do think he would be a pretty good Dr. Hill in this case, but Id like to talk to other movie watchers if there are any about this lol . Anyway yes I can see him and Wilbur having beef about this, the clashing of wills and both thinking theyre smarter and more accomplished than the other. Either way the Hill role gets shoveled, so yeah

Idk about having a love interest, I may cut Megan/Megan’s role entirely, but if she did exist id probably split her into two characters (Sapnap and Karl, karlnapity real) but... up to debate. I honestly think you could probably change the movie to remove her with minimal editing of the story, but whatever moving on.

Generally I’d say the plot stays the same. It’s pretty quick, if you get into it. I don’t know who Dean Halsey would be... if I remove Megan role it would probably be someone close to Quackity (and even if i dont I think that would be more appropriate). Still pondering this one!

either way Ive just been doing screenshot redraws. Id love to do a fic or oneshot of this, but we’ll see bc my writing motivation has been kinda in the toilet lately.

[gunmetal-ring]

Omg i feel so dramatic doing this lol but id feel so guilty if i didnt come out and say it do im saying it and cringing at my melodramatic self

I think for right now im putting roots (my current caryl wip) on hiatus. I really dont have much motivation to keep it going tbh, which is a shame, bc its one my favorite stories that ive ever written, and i probably only have like 3ish chapters left. But i have to force myself to write it and im not happy with what im writing and id rather give it the attention and care it deserves rather than speeding thru it for the sake of completion and more or less throwing away the months (years?) ive spent writing this fic. Idk. It sucks bc im somewhat of a perfectionist and i hate the idea of a wip of mine just fading into oblivion but i hate spitting out a shitty slapdash chapter just to mark it complete even more

Idk ig in summary id rather be proud of my efforts than churn out something lifeless

Anyway i have a very teeny tiny bit of the next chapter written and i do mean teeny tiny so im gonna publish it w a note stating its on hiatus so nobody feels tricked or whatever bc i feel so guilty abt this

I think (not know bc again false promises and such) that once caryl reunites on screen i will get my passion and inspiration and motivation etc for them but for now... s11 and solo semester in paris have more or less stomped it all out. Thank you to everyone to read it i so appreciate your words and i hope everyone still caryls on ❤️

[sillybeansss]

HAHA! my response is even LATER! i dont know of thats worthy of an apology or start of a competition, uhm…sorry i was recovering from the finale of the greatest show to ever exist…

and im proud of YOU! i dont exactly know what your school life is like, of course, but from what youve told me, im proud of you for not giving into terrible/annoying people! they mostly just want a reaction out of you. and your patience with them is admirable, even if they do piss you off at times. your outlook on school is amazing, and, i applaud you on that!!

youre right, i am a little bit thrilled, arent i? ill consider it! i just have to wait until i can see my friend again i suppose…

also being a procrastinator is so real!!!  OUGH AND I HAVE A LOT OF FIXATIONS…those take up 99.99999999% of my time asides from sleeping but even then its not like o can escape my interests in my dreams sometimes either…so i get you 💔💔💔 tje struggle is REAL but unfortunately i have no motivation. i also want to draw a few hetalia things but im REALLY art blocked so writing is my bbg now…because i like to suffer creatively twice and drown myself in ideas i will probably never execute…

and yeah!!! optimism honestly makes me feel do much better and happier…healthier, too. sometimes i (almost. so close…yet so far) feel like i can take on anything, and, as per a certain cuban saying: eat the world! and ever since i tried having a positive mindset, although i still slip into my bits of melancholy and am still a bit depressive (not as in im diagnosed…as in, miserable/sad) i notice that ive been more optimistic without even having to force it sometimes and it??? catches me off guard because il used to expecting the worst like. wow. the first thing that came to my mind wasnt to panic or cry?

also yeah youre right!!! ehm. i mean, i dont expect much from the guys in my class, though. theyre all perverts except for like one ://

which is too bad but its not like id like them anyway, i guess.

i dont know what your classmates are like, again, but i think its safe to assume theyre like mine because all middle schoolers are perverted and cringey…

~🫶🏽🎳

ACK HI SILLY WAVESS!!! missed ya!!:3

That first part made me giggle AND PROCRASTINATION IS SUCH AN ASSS especially with interests like I've been meaning to read this book during break but I only just remembered it cause I've been SOOOO consumed with hetalia like the fixation is so big it's broken through art block somehow like I mean procrastination is still there cause this Switzerland drawing took what felt like a day which I didn't expect but it was cause nice was procrastinating too much ://

AND YAY!!! Optimism is great I try to be optimistic but it's hard to control my emotions so sometimes i feel so helpless but me and my therapist are trying to work on that and bluh bluh bluh therapy stuff but yeah I dont know what I was gonna say,, that reminds me my mom is gonna try and book an autism assessment for me eventually that's cool right!! It makes me nervous to think about it but why worry about something when there many sources to ease said worries yk? That made no sense me thinks sorry if I'm rambling!!

ALSOOOO HRUU!!!!

[mnstermasher]

vent post im writing here because this is the only social i have nobody i know follows me

tw idk bad things in my brain slurs blah blah blah talk of deathhh raggh

i think i would be better off dead, for myself snd the people around me i contribute nothing to society i have no goals no ambitions no dreams i like to draw stupid cartoons snd laze around all day in my room because the outside world is too much and all my mom does is yell at me for everything even though i probably deserve it

i don't think i want to be anything in life and i kniw that's probably an issue but i dont see myself alive past maybe 25 and everyone tells me i need to grow up and try harder but i dont want to i dont have the motivation because i dont see the point of trying to reach something ill never attain

im not good at anything so what even is the point of having a career having a family finding love if i have nothing to go off on im not smart im not pretty im a fat ugly retarded loser with no skills and who hates herself more than anything in the world because i kniw im nothing but a leech taking up oxygen and embedding myself into the lives of others and ruining everything

im not nice im not helpful i have a bad attitude that makes nobody want to approach me even my friends just think of me as angry i just dont see the point in living

i cant tell my therapist because it wont help at all snd shell end up telling my momwho will probably tell me to do it and hurry up im just si lost idk what to do anymore

i think i should just get on with it already or just shut up and deal with it because i know that even if im self aware that im a fucking loser nobody i cant bring myself to change ir be better because there's nothing i feel like id be able to improve on and i should just die

i don't deserve to eat, sleep, socialize, i shouldn't even bother with school because im just going to kill myself anyways so whats the point?? and nobody would care enough so why bother with getting help if i cant even change my shitty personality

i hope that when i die i get sent to hell snd suffer for all the wrong ive done since birth in hopes of maybe repenting for existing

[seongclb]

announcement! (read if u want, it’s ok if u dont lol)

hiii so i’m sure people have noticed how inactive i’ve been this whole year which i do apologise for! i’ve left numerous series and works on hold without even updating to let anyone know if they’re even coming. even though im unsure if anyone’s been looking forward to it lol still i haven’t said anything. i was even contemplating to randomly delete this account out of laziness but i knew id be writing again eventually. the only issue is that its not consistent but tbh that’s fine for me - writing isn’t supposed to be my job anyway

truthfully the only reason is because i haven’t been prioritising my writing or this blog at all which i think is reasonable since i have so many things going on in my life! but i made this announcement to say that i will be officially starting again but im sure when the academic year starts, ill be disappearing again 😭 i apologise in advance but yeah.

as for my wips, let’s see if i have enough motivation to write them. i’ll probably start writing smaller fics first and then ease back into it. i have something planned since i’ve been listening to my summer playlist again and that always brings my imagination up lol

that’s it though bye