#little women spiral
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satsuha · 11 months ago
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valerio for 60min challenge
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mandareeboo · 1 month ago
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I'm only forty minutes into Inside Out 2 but they are NOT dissuading me on my genderqueer lesbian Riley Anderson belief. Like not even a little. It's very Gender and very Gay of them.
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volkswagonblues · 2 months ago
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little women (2019); HBO L'amica geniale; elena ferrante La frantumaglia; vermeer "girl reading a letter at an open window"; amy tan the opposite of fate; HBO L'amica geniale; shirley jackson, "memory and delusion"
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platinum-iridium · 4 months ago
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i'm glad they show scully going to philly one weekend, fucking some random ass dude, getting a tattoo, and then showing up to work on monday. girls rock
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notwantedonthemoon · 1 year ago
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Excerpt:
Lucy would say: You should have played Eve. Did you know that you stand just like her? She used to talk with her hands and she laughed when she was nervous and everything she ever felt would show on her face. She couldn’t keep a secret to save her life.
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The plot at a glance:
“Man, I sure hope my fiancé doesn't have a crush on me" :(
*champagne problems plays sadly on kazoo in the distance*
So. I wrote this. There is now finally something on the ao3 tag for Not Wanted on the Voyage. My life’s purpose is fulfilled. 
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mirrorofliterature · 1 year ago
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do I fundamentally believe in DNI lists? no... but hm, thoughts
DNI if, in varying levels of seriousness:
you disagreeing with annabeth chase's casting in PJO [leah's excellent, fight me]
you think sydney is better than melbourne [FIGHT me]
you drink coffee [why?]
you support pauline hanson [don't even LOOK at me]
you victim-blame either hector or imelda [there's a MURDERER right there, FFS]
you don't support the 'woman, life, freedom' protests in Iran [do you hate women? yes]
you think neoliberalism is a good thing [no]
you think dogs are superior to cats [my cats vehemently disagree]
you think that percy weasley is a traitor [fight. me]
some I'm completely serious on, some I'm joking around with! the serious ones are not... particularly subtle tbh. let me know if you breach any of them! warning: supporting one nation WILL get you blocked bleh racists
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justbeluvd · 11 months ago
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March 18th, 9:50 PM
I will try to put this into one thought, something you can get behind.
Take these quotes:
“I’m not a poet, I’m just a woman”
“Is it better to speak or to die”
“A person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts”
Now when a person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts it plagues the brain, your own voice on a constant run even in your sleep creating thoughts into dreams—one concept you might not be able to get behind is, you can’t make up voices or faces if you haven’t seen or heard them before. Now when you combine this concept of being an over thinker and asking the question if it’s better to speak or to die; An overthinker, someone with the immaculate ability to understand will say it is better to die. Dying is better than trying to get it out into words without over complicating it and having thoughts work faster than your hands when you’re trying to write it down. When little women dropped the quote “I’m not a poet, I’m just a woman” it comes with an immaculate understanding, all women are poets some minds just work too fast to put it into one thought or even one page. It’s a placebo, this plague is jarring.
Overthinking the thought of overthinking
This MIGHT be philosophical or it might just be rambling. You decide.
Then again, I’m not a writer I’m just a woman who finally jarred the ability to write something down.
This is an original thought brought on by my finished read of “Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom
If your looking to spiral I have song recs:
How To Never Stop Being Sad by Dandelion Hands
Overthinker by INZO
Symphonia IX by Current Joys
Answering Machine by Ruby Haunt
Wash. By Bon Iver
Boyhood By Birth Day
Inside Out by Duster
Evergreen by Richy Mitch & The Coal Miners
Sea, Swallow Me by Cocteau Twins and Harold Budd
And so on, I have an Apple Music playlist called “just noise” if you like those recs.
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aforeffortenjolras · 2 years ago
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my baby brother had his high school graduation today and apparently my baby sister went on a blind date this weekend
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mishtershpock · 5 months ago
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monachopsis-22 · 9 months ago
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you know it's bad when you start leaving people on delivered for multiple days, start going to bed before midnight and start eating as much as possible every evening again..
but on a more important note! I watched the new season of Bridgerton and thoroughly enjoyed it of course (smash Eloise and her brothers) but can we be real for a second and all admit Eloise is gay and she just doesn't realise it yet
she screams Jo March lesbian
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mashmouths · 10 months ago
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if i'm in school for another 6 months and i don't like my roommates this time maybe i'll finally have a hoe phase
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valandherweekofwonders · 1 year ago
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i just want to stop feeling suicidal so constantly and i want to stop having my paranoia spirals and i want to have peaceful sleeps without night terrors and i want to feel safe in my body and in my own space and i want to eat and i want to not be so overwhelmed by my psychosis and i want to be over everything that kennedy did to me but i also really wish i could contact him again so i could deck him in the fucking face and then i call c and ask her what the fuck why the fuck did she do that and beg beg beg my family to leave the church that is so clearly harming them and dooming them to tragedies.... and so on...
#why did i write about that pregnancy why did i use my abuse for an assignment why did i delve into these memories such a mistake#whenever i remember it happened im like oh my god i could have had a 9 year old maybe i did want to be a mother#maybe i am suffering now bc i was supposed to be doomed to the same narrative like most women in my community#like maybe it was a fluke that i got here bc i don't fit in i hate myself so much i feel like everyone hates me and wants me dead and gone#if i knew any of their numbers still i would ask for ativan again i cannot fucking sleep my anxiety is never ending#i cannot tolerate the weight of the emotions i want to be numb i want to be high i want to be dissociated again#i broke out of my constant dissociation and now im here and i can feel my feet on the ground and i am living pov and it hurts so bad#i want to be in the arms of my best friend i want to be on her floor stroking the fuzzy carpet while we eat penne together#ever since she came back into my life i am so happy i have that anchor again but oh my god it makes me realize how distant i am from everyo#and how little i trust#i also miss my other best friend that i never get to see but i want to hug them tightly and we never have enough time w each other but ever#moment is so vivid and strong and they make me feel so alive and aware of the world we are in and its such a blessing that they decided to#talk to me the day they did and the friendship that came after like idk#i dont have many close friends but oh god the few i have i love th#them so much and they make life worth living but ugh yeah im fighting voices and spirals and theres a lot happening inside#ill be fine i have a lot of feelings my life is nonstop chaotic bc i have 5 bpd/bipolar women in my family and all emotionally absent men a#and our narratives weave together so close so tightly i cannot separate myself but i want to but can i? do i want to?#ezra.txt
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abbyslovergirlxo · 2 months ago
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Same Damn Time
Caitlyn Kiramman x Reader x Ambessa Medarda
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tw; Dom!Ambessa, Dom!Caitlyn, sub!reader, rough sex but they’re not so mean towards the end, wlw, sadism (cait/bessa), choking, slapping (everywhere lol), knife usage, blood kink??,masochism (you🫵) , crying, reader has a mouth on her and then folds (typical😒), idk why i made cait psychotic but oh well, oral, degradation, crumbs of praise lmao, ALL SEXUAL INTERACTION IS CONSENSUAL, I am not someone who writes noncon
Word count: 7.8k
… = time skip
a/n; whewww! like what can I even say, this fic is crazy asl. Like I actually think they’re gonna bring back stoning people just for this. Lowkey deserved. But I know there’s someone out there who’s gonna match my freak 😭 i had tooo much fun writing this while listening to the song, made me think of them 😩lots of tw!! so plz read that before scrolling!!! I feel like this is something you’re either really going to love or really going to hate sooo idk. Also I was literally fixated on Sevika/Ambessa and one edit drove me to madness so here we are, getting double teamed by Commander Kiramman and General Merdarda 😩 They’re both evil twins in this but Caitlyn is the more evil twin but no seriously read the tw…. anyways enough of my my rumbling, this fic is long enough lol.
Your ear shot up, body reacting involuntarily to the large grey door opening. Heavy echoing footsteps, hushed whispers, and then a closed door.
“ This is the one?”
The judgemental tone would’ve sent you spiralling, had you been anywhere else. But menacing glares and sharp words would do little for you here. The lights were dim, unfavorably so, only illuminating distinctly right above your chair that you sat in.
Their voices held unyielding authority. Everyone from topside did to be fair but something about these two gave away their status. Their faces were shielded slightly, your eyes squinting in an attempt to see who they were. That attempt was shot down, the small space of darkness they stood in protecting them.
You cursed yourself for not having been smarter that day, faster. For if you had been, you’d never know what the inside of Stillwater’s interrogation room looked like.
“ Yes, General. My enforcers found her near one of Jinx’s old hideouts. From the items that were taken from her we can safely say this one knows something. She knows Jinx. My men attempted to speak to her a couple of days ago but nothing came of it.”
You thought back to the ‘men’ who questioned you, hammered you with prompts that you refused to answer. The bruises on your back proved how badly they wanted to know but you never relented.
“ I don’t know anything.” A lie. A clear one. Both of the women ignored you, tossing back and forth bits of information. You tugged at the shiny metal cuffs, now wishing you’d taken Vi up on those lock picking lessons. I’m so fucked, you thought to yourself. The room was a bit cold and you weren’t exactly dressed for the occasion when they snatched you. So, somberly you shook a little, giving up on listening to whatever they were saying.
You weren’t going to rat. You knew that much.
Your head was hung when you heard them get closer to you. Not bothering to look up, you heard two chairs groan from being pulled, until they sat down from what you assumed.
“ Name?”
Finally you peered up. Your expression faltered for a second, not expecting the sight in front of you. Their outfits clashed and blended seamlessly all at once. One sat in an all black attire, her long blue hair hanging down. The other was engrossed in clads of gold and red.
Sitting right across from you, they both had menacing glares. Well, the glares you expected. Not quite the faces. Shamefully you imagined seeing them somewhere else, maybe in The Last Drop? The younger, sharp features and pinched eyes, looked at you with a particularly hateful look. That didn’t bother you though, she was as intimidating as the drunk men you’d fought with in the undercity. Pretty though, you thought. The other one was a different story entirely.
She was tall, you could tell from how she towered even sitting down. Something about her was elegant. But she looked dangerous. Growing up it was quite necessary to assess who you could and couldn’t take on, and the moment your eyes locked with hers, you knew. The scars on her face also gave way to what she was capable of. She was a problem, even if her stare wasn’t as heinous as the woman beside her.
“ Name?” She pressed. Her voice was calm but she didn’t look like someone who didn’t know how to raise it.
“ I don’t know anything. I don’t even know who Jinx is.”
The blue haired girl scoffed, clearly unimpressed. Her companion remained analytical of you.
“ You’re a terrible liar.” Her voice came off unforgiving and brutal. You’d be lying (again) if you said you weren’t slightly offended. But you kept a neutral face, ignoring her.
“Listen, this doesn’t have to be rough. How this goes depends entirely on you, you choose. We know you know Jinx. We know that you know something. The information you have is quite important to me,”
The older woman paused for a split second, her stare unwavering and promising. She looked over to the younger one before looking back at you.
“ to us. So we’re leaving this room with something, I can assure you that. But I can also assure you that if you help us, we will help you.”
Her voice was smooth, like wine. Well according to what people say about wine, you’d never had it. She was firm in her words, almost as if she herself knew the power behind her promise. That would’ve reassured you had it not been for the fact that she was after your fucking friends.
You looked between the two of them again, assessing the scene in front of you over and over. You were unimpressed, if you were being honest, something you hadn’t been since these cuffs first touched your wrist. Sure, you could tell they meant business but this was futile as an interrogation tactic.
Good cop, bad cop?
While the older wasn’t exactly nice, you expected a missing eye, pulled nails and burnt skin. What you weren’t expecting was two, unfortunately attractive, topside pigs to do a century old method. If anything they should’ve switched, you thought to yourself.
Maybe then they’d get somewhere.
“ Still don’t know who Jinx is or why I’m here.”
“ You’re lying, again. And protecting a known fanatic and criminal. Tell us where we can find Jinx.”
You furrowed your brows, annoyed with her insults and claims. Who is she to tell you that were lying? Well, you were of course. But regardless, the tone in the blue eyed woman before you made you unsettled.
“ I’m not lying.” You gritted out. “ I’ve been detained wrongfully. You’re wasting your time. I don’t know anything.”
“ Yes, you do.” Her voice was firm, final. You scowled at her, but it was nothing in comparison to how she looked at you. Constantly her jaw flexed, on edge and angry. But she had no right to be angry in your mind, after all you were the one chained to a table being talked at rather than talked to. Secretly you wished for the older woman to speak again, at least she wasn’t such a bitch.
“ Are they your friends? Is that it? Because I promise you that we will find Jinx, it will just be a whole lot messier without your help. I don’t mind that. But I’m sure you will.”
You fought the urge to wipe that domineering tone and look off her face. You’re never going to find Jinx! You’re nothing but a power hungry topsider who doesn’t know the first thing about friends! I’m not telling you shit. Was what you wanted to say. But instead,
“ I don’t know Jinx or whatever else you people plan on asking me. Like I said, you. are. wasting. your. time.”
You put emphasis on each word, tired of repeating yourself. But to your un-satisfaction she rolled her eyes, shaking her head.
“ Look… I shouldn’t be here. I can’t give you anything because I don’t kno—“
“ Right.” She cut you off, so obviously tired of your insistent lying, even in the short minutes. “And you’re not an undercity animal.”
“ And you’re not a topside pig.”
In all fairness it came out before you could stop it. You weren’t used to being talked to like this and keeping quiet, it almost came out of pure instinct. But if you were surprised by your words you didn’t show it one bit, a small smile almost playing on your lips.
Her nostrils flared slightly, her breathing elevating. For a moment you thought she’d explode before the other woman spoke.
“ Kiramman.”
You memorized the name, not sure if it’d be useful later once you escaped but just in case. She simply collected herself, nodding at the woman who she called ‘General’. Maybe this is where you went wrong, your natural element slipping out, your ego on its way to arriving.
“ You should learn to control yourself, ya know… during interrogations and such.”
“ Shut your mouth.” It was harsh and whispered. This is when you should’ve stopped but you didn’t.
“ You must be new, since you need a supervisor to help you.”
“ Shut it.”
“ You guys have nothing on me. You’re fucking desperate. I’m n—“
Mistakenly you were so focused on Kiramman that you hadn’t been prepared for the harsh grab of your chin. It was quick, unbelievably fast and that scared you more than anything. The strength of which she used to crush your face also attributed to the pit in your stomach.
“ You’ve chosen miserably.”
Her voice was meaner now, she talked as if you were nothing. Like you were stupid. Instantly you regretted wishing for her presence.
Embarrassingly you struggled against her trying to pry away but it was useless. She effortlessly held you there, your cheeks red with humiliation and anger. You tried to ignore the victorious face planted on Kiramman.
“ She said shut your mouth so you shouldn’t be doing anything but that.”
“ Thought you w-wanted me to talk, which one is it?”
You half expected her to break your jaw or lash out like the woman beside her. Instead she remained calm, eerily calm. Anyone with such strength and patience was someone who got what they wanted. But, you weren’t going to talk, you reminded yourself.
She pulled you closer, not without the rebellious tug from you. Silently she analyzed you, staring into your eyes painstakingly long. You squirmed and averted your gaze. She let you go with a ‘hmph’.
“ She won’t talk, not like this.”
The blue haired girl whipped her head towards her, then back to you, a blue fire blazing in her eyes. From the short time they’d been in the room it was clear the older woman held a higher position, authority oozing from her undoubtedly. But now you noticed something dark about the Kiramman that you should have picked up on before.
She was angry, unreasonably so. There was something constantly threatening to set off inside of her.
“ Everyone talks. There has to be something that’ll make her.”
The General hummed. “ I agree, but not like this. She’s loyal to them and she’s prepared for a cell if not this. She’s attempting to use our anger to distract us. She needs something else.”
The goosebumps from the cold air became accompanied by ones born from anxiety. Your mind went into a dark place, worried you’d never leave Stillwater. What if they starved you? Kept you locked in some cell as your body slowly decayed while you still lived? True fear found its way to you for the first time, the unknown overwhelming.
Kiramman seemed to hold back a sigh, instead taking a moment to actually listen to her superior's words. You couldn’t tell what she was thinking but from the firm nod she let off to the General, you knew it wasn’t in your favor. The grey haired woman stood now, making your heart race. Desperately you tugged at the chain once more, attempting to repeat your overdone line.
“ Look, I really don’t know anything.” Ignored.
The blue haired girl remained seated, leaned back slightly, watching silently as the older woman walked around the table. She walked to you with a certain prowess about her. She was taller than you’d expected, to your dismay. You refused to look at her when she was finally standing beside you, face aimed at the grey table.
You pinched your eyes waiting to be hit, choked maybe, or stabbed if they didn’t mind the mess. Your breathing raised as you tried to silently comfort yourself through whatever pain soon awaited. You held back a flinch when you felt large hands pulling at your chains.
It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. Fuck.
*clink*
You snapped your eyes open, seeing your handcuffs now undone.
“ Stand up.”
You took in a breath, silently grateful that you hadn’t been harmed. You stood now, relieved. At least whatever they were going to do wasn’t happening in the now you thought. You looked towards the giant closed metal door, expecting your arm to be snatched as she led you to your dark cell. But to your surprise she simply spoke again.
“ On the table.”
You looked between the two of them.
You shook your head, not even at them, it just shook. No way in hell were you going to lay down on some metal table while these two psychopaths did whatever they wanted to you. You weren’t exactly happy about the bruises that already resided there, definitely not hoping for extras.
“ …No.”
You hadn’t wished to say it but you couldn’t bring yourself to willingly place your body on that table before they hurt you.
“ You misunderstand the situation. You’ve chosen already. So get on the table.”
You didn’t choose shit. That’s what you wanted to shout, to scream at them until your bones betrayed you. A million emotions rushed through your head, clenching and unclenching your hands. Instead you remained silent and unmoving, your refusal to acknowledge was saying ‘no’ in its own way.
“ Fucking impossible…”
You didn’t even have a moment to react to the words before you were pulled. A grunt left your mouth as your hair was gripped painfully. Anger coursed through you upon seeing the black uniform in your peripheral. You used your now free hands to try and pry her hands from you but she only gripped impossibly tighter, your scalp beginning to burn. She was swifter than you’d imagined she’d be, strong too, grabbing both of your hands with one, pinning them. This somehow was worse than cuffs.
“ Fucki— let me go!”
Ignored. Why did they ignore everything?
“ Where do you want her?”
Her General's eyebrows raised, but you didn’t see surprise. Not even disappointment. Content, maybe? You didn’t put it past her.
“ Let's put her on her back to start.”
She moved without question or affirmation. Irritation was clear across your face now, upset at the stinging that wasn’t letting up on your scalp. But clearly the woman behind you didn’t care, roughly forcing you onto the table. She wasn’t as tall as her companion but she was taller than you and it wasn’t an advantage on your part. The force behind her movements were unsettling, you hadn’t thought she was powerless at first glance, but her grip on you was unnerving compared to what you thought she was capable of.
The cold metal wasn’t welcoming. It felt like a million needles were puncturing your skin causing you to shudder. Your tank top strap had fallen off your shoulder amidst the struggle, close enough to slipping down making you wish your hands were free.
“ Give me her wrist.”
They swiftly transferred your hands, the Generals grip matching hers but you could tell there was more strength to be given behind it. You didn’t want to imagine her really trying to squeeze you. The cuffs you were free from moments ago encased you again, and you didn't miss the two extra notches she clicked causing your bone to shift uncomfortably with the metal. You scowled.
“ It’s too fucking tight.”
Not even a pitied glance, nothing. Ignored. Again. You shifted your wrist again, overwhelmed and upset. And this bitch is still gripping my hair, using her other hand to keep your shoulder on the table casually. So easily, and that made you feel vulnerable, helpless. And your now restrained hands weren’t helping, the slight burn making something in your throat want to creep up but you wouldn’t dare allow it, deciding to instead take it out on them.
“ Let go of my hair, you bi–”
You hissed, the stinging sensation pulsating across your cheek. It wouldn’t leave a bruise but you damn sure felt it.
“ Mind your tongue.”
The General ignored the glare you sent her straight from hell, instead taking off her jacket revealing a dark sleeveless sort of top. You couldn’t begin to imagine or decipher the detailing of it, topsiders always dressed too flashy in your opinion, too stuck up. Her arms were as big as you'd thought. Both being ridiculed with scars.
Then, another sharp crack resounded through the dark room, a quick punishing tug to your scalp. This one would unfortunately leave a bruise. You could tell. You didn’t hiss this time, too stunned, on the verge of groaning from the way she used your hair as a plaything.
“ What she said.”
Kiramman finally let go of your hair, the residue of her strength still pounding through your head. You tried to sit up but she instead used both of her hands to hold you down. With only your legs to move, you kicked but the General shut that down as soon as it started. Effortlessly she used only one hand to keep them pinned down, now looking over you and at Kiramman.
What now? You thought. Cut my skin until I fess up? Break my bones until I don’t have any? Beat me bloody while I lie on this cold table? Are they going to kill me when this is all over, when I don’t say anything? I’m going to die here, aren’t I? I’m going to die and nobody’s gonna know.
It’ll be ok. It’ll be ok. It’ll be ok. I can take it. I can take it.
Eyes suddenly squeezed shut, recited echoes of wishful thinking, a scratchy throat. You braced yourself.
“ Last chance. Tell us where we can find Jinx and I’ll send you back to your cell. Untouched.”
Your voice came out a little exasperated, anxiety and anger laced into it. You kept your eyes shut.
“ I don’t know who Jinx is so I can’t tell you that. I don’t know anything.”
Your shoulder crushed more into the table, pale hands squeezing.
“ You continue to choose stupidity, insolence. No more of that.”
Suddenly the grip on your legs were let go and you opened your eyes. She was still at the head of the table staring down at you. For a moment you considered kicking again but as if she read your mind…
“ Kick me and I will break every bone in your knee.”
Her tone wasn’t intimidating, demeaning absolutely, but not intimidating. The certainty in her voice made you throw away any ideas of using your legs. You liked your knees to say the least. You peered straight up to see an upside version of Kiramman, her long blue hair creating a shadow around her neck, her jawline distinct. Even without seeing her face, only the outline of lips and nose, the anger radiated off her body.
“ What now?”
The General looked over you, straight at her.
“ We’ll need to take her pants off for the next part.”
You and Kiramman spoke at the same time.
“ Wait, what? My pants?” “ Her pants?”
The older woman simply gave a one word reply, meant to supply both of you with a firm answer, ‘yes’.
“ Wait, wait.”
She looked down at you, eyebrows raised.
“ Do you remember something about Jinx? Something you’d like to tell us?”
You listened to the flickering sound coming from the light above you. One by one you let them pop into your head. Jinx, long blue hair and wild face as she hugged you. Vi, stuffing her favorite foodsin your face. Isha, making paper airplanes with you. For a moment you thought a tear might slip but it didn’t. You drew in a shaky breath, ignoring the sting on your wrist.
“ No. I don’t know anything. I just…”
You averted your gaze.
“ Is it going to hurt?”
A stupid question in your mind. No doubt torture hurts. But something in you needed to ask, needing some sort of certainty in what was to come.
“ That depends on you entirely. I’ll give you pain when you give me insolence. But when you give me answers, I’ll give you… ”
She suddenly ghosted a hand over your calf.
“ Relief.”
You shuddered a little, her graze unexpected. But you didn’t dare move your leg, not wanting to test what qualified as a kick to her. You didn’t want to imagine what she meant by relief, because it couldn’t mean that. It couldn’t mean that.
“ How does that sound?”
“ It sounds like I have nothing else to say to you.”
She hummed. Without another word she slipped her large hands in your waistband, pulling them down to your ankles. You wanted them back the second your bare thigh touched the cold metal. A click echoed and you looked to see a blade in her hand, small in size but formidable in design. Gold snakes seemed to embroider its handle. You sucked in a harsh breath at the sight, your eyes locked on it.
Your eyes flicked up at the blue haired woman, her position now changed so that you could see her face again. Her eyes almost beamed? For the first time an expression other than anger displayed itself on her features. Now she looked almost… pleased. Excited.
It’ll be ok. It’ll be ok. I can take it. I can take it. I can take it. Hopefully.
You ignored the last words, watching as the General kept her eyes trained on your plump thighs. Opening them, she traced it right on the inside of it. Immediately you could tell it was sharp. Too sharp. It was cold against your skin, not as harsh as the table but unforgiving nonetheless. Anticipation rushed through you. Hands clenched within its restraints, the light flickering and flickering, her soft hands on your shoulder, icy metal on your skin, her hand slipping onto your thigh and then….
“ Ngnh!”
Your head pressed into the metal slightly. You’d have been embarrassed by your whimper if it wasn’t for the sudden warm drip down your thigh. Blood, you assumed. You’d been through worse but you still squirmed at the cut now adorned on your skin. She pushed down on your thigh, not fond of your squirming. Then she continued, tracing the blade across your thigh, waiting until your body finally relaxed, stopping itself from that state of bracing. And right when you did, she’d swipe a quick line across your shaky, burning legs. Always between your thighs, always.
It felt like electricity was rushing through you, it was all so overwhelming. You felt like you were being swallowed alive and they had barely done anything. The cuts burned and sent a rush of pain through your nerves and skin. Everytime you looked at Kiramman her face was becoming alive with intoxication. It’s like she couldn’t pull her eyes away, trained on the way your leg wobbled under her General’s hand, how you whimpered lowly, the light trace of blood on the expensive blade. You jolted again, particularly harder this time.
“ Relax. It's just a little cut, you're a big girl.”
It continued like this. You tried your best to stifle the whimpers coming from your mouth. The last thing you wanted was for them to hear what they were doing to you. Over and over she painted your thighs with your own crimson, and it hurt. It hurt, it did. And that's all it should be.
But your stomach kept getting that feeling. It burned, like the surface level cuts she gave you. It burned every time her calloused finger swiped across your sliced skin, collecting blood. It burned when she smiled suddenly, as if proud of her work. And it was scalding when you looked up and saw those blue eyes entranced. But it wasn’t pain. It wasn’t…anger. It was something else. Something that made you want to release that feeling in your throat, made you wish she meant something ungodly when she offered relief.
“ What's this?”
Your skin was hot to the touch now, sweaty. Trembling slightly, you looked up at her. For a moment you couldn’t begin to imagine what she was referring to until you traced her eyes. You silently prayed that it wasn’t what you thought. But from the way she asked, you knew.
“ What is it?”
Kiramman asked, curiosity clear in her voice. The older woman smirked, staring down at the wet spot in your panties.
“ It seems her body is more honest than she is. I think our little prisoner likes this. Her panties say so at least.”
Your face burned so hot that it rivaled the sun itself. You considered saying something, protesting and denying it. But what was the point? It did feel good, the burn felt good. And she had the evidence right in front of her. You couldn’t meet either of their gazes, looking to the side in shame. Kiramman laughed, the vibrations reaching you through her touch.
“ I knew it, she was whimpering like a dog. Isn’t that right?”
You shook your head, still refusing to look. But she wasn’t having it, using one of her hands to pull your chin. Even upside down, she looked menacing. She forced eye contact. Her face was rampant with mocking undertones, sadistic glares.
“ Is that why you’ve been so rude? You wanted us to give you a little pain, show you a good time? You really are pathetic.”
“ That’s not tr– n-ngh!”
A stinging pain after a quick slap to your clothed cunt made you whimper louder than anytime the blade touched you. It felt like a live wire tapping your skin, your legs snapping shut. The wet spot in your panties grew, your breathing uneven.
“ Insolence. Tell the truth.”
I can’t. You thought. Telling them that you’d enjoyed it, even a tiny bit, seemed more daunting suddenly than ratting.
“ I’m not ly– f-fuck…”
You weren’t sure if you’d ever be allowed to finish a sentence, her hand opening your legs followed by another slap coming down. Your eyes fluttered for a moment, your face squeezing with pain and pleasure. Kiramman used the hand she never removed to guide you. A smile was now on her lips, wide with genuine amusement.
“ Oh god, did you just… moan? You really are something aren’t you? Is that what it’s going to take? A few more slaps to your cunt and you’ll be blabbering? Or maybe…”
She lowered herself, close enough that her hair brushed against your face. You whined again, another unsuspecting smack from the older woman. You hadn’t even done anything, she just liked the way your panties got damper with each hit. Kiramman almost thanked her for it, relishing in hearing the noise even closer. She whispered to you.
“ If I make you cum enough times you’ll remember something. I bet you’d like that, letting a… what was it that you called me…a topside pig make your cunt cry?”
Finally, you gave way to the ache in your throat. A tear fell down your face suddenly. Another burning sensation forming in your stomach at the feeling of the General toying with the rim of your panties.
“ Please…”
It was quiet, almost matching the decibels of the wind. But you knew she’d heard it. It was obvious from how her grin widened, her eyes looking like ones of a deranged woman.
“ Please what? Please…make me cum? Please…let me go? Please fucking what?”
In this small moment of time, you almost felt like you were watching your dignity physically leave your body. You imagined telling her to let you go, that you didn’t know anything and a few cuts to your legs wasn’t going to change that. And you considered it, over and over. Then something played in your mind, a sick fantasy woven in desperation. In it, you asked her what you really wanted to. And in it they kissed you until you couldn’t breathe, made you finish until you didn’t know how to walk. You considered both. But only one of them made your core ache with desire. Your eyes were even glossier now. Suddenly you were working yourself up for a new kind of courage.
I can take it. I can take it. I can take it.
“ Make me cum please.”
“ Please who?”
I can take it.
“ Please, Kiramman.”
“ That’s it. Finally something coming out of your mouth other than horseshit. But you still need some manners…”
The grip that had left your ears ringing suddenly came back, her pale fingers peeking through your hair. She pulled your head up, forcing you to look at the General. You groaned, arms thrashing slightly, the sting of the metal never relenting.
“ I’m not the only one here. Go ahead, ask General Merdarda too.”
You gritted your teeth. This was already humiliating, and she was just reveling in it. Your legs were already spread, panties damp, dried crimson on your skin, hands bound above your stomach. You’d already asked, multiple times. And now you had to say it again, with a death-like grip on your hair and those hazel eyes peering at you, awaiting.
“ …but I already asked y—“
The slap was even stronger this time , the force of it driving your body insane. Merdarda grinned at you, even laughing a little at the noise you made. Another tear fell down your cheek but Kiramman was quick to wipe it. Right before she licked her finger.
“ But you didn’t ask me.”
If she slapped your cunt again you’d probably start grinding against the table, somehow making you look more pathetic than you do right now. So you gave in.
“ P-Please General Merdarda, will…”
I’m never speaking about this if I get out of here.
“…Will you please make me cum?”
“ Well would you look at that, that’s all you had to say little one. But what do we get in return? Surely you can’t expect us to make you cum with nothing given back.”
“ …But…I already said I don’t know anything.”
Kiramman scoffed.
“ Even after you soak your panties from a little cut, you still have the ability to lie. I’m almost impressed.”
She let your head drop back onto the table.
“ Almost.”
….
For a second you thought she’d kiss them.
At first glance it seemed so, her soft lips trailed over the red raised wounds, her nose spilling cold air on them. You reveled in it, an ember threatening to go a blaze within you. That was until she nipped at it, a hiss leaving your mouth. You couldn’t see her smile but you felt it sweeping across the throbbing skin. You cursed under your breath, the force behind her bite growing more rabid. She slapped the thigh she wasn’t ravaging, quick and harsh.
“ You like that, don’t you?”
There that voice was again, smooth and sultry. You weren’t sure if she was referencing the strike on your leg or her roaming fingers but murmured yes anyway. Yes to all of it. She had your shirt hitched up, breast exposed. Every once and awhile she’d toy with them, trace an outline around your nipple, wait and then pinch. So often though she found herself distracted, your features giving away how desperate you were.
Merdarda found enjoyment in watching your contort every time Kiramman did something to you, anything to you really. You were like a tight coiled spring, threatening to snap at any given moment. It's like every touch has you ready to risk everything. And you learned quickly they were into this a little more than you, mania clear across their faces. You were trembling, Kiramman taking advantage of how sensitive your legs were.
“ C’mere.”
You felt a little dizzy, seeing her lift her head up from between your legs. She grabbed your cuffed hands, pulling you up to meet her face. It all happened so fast and you winced from the strain in your shoulders. She was closer now and it was just now that you noticed the traces of blood on her lips. You hadn’t expected a kiss this time around, but it happened. It wasn’t gentle, if anything it felt like she was trying to cannibalize you with her tongue. Shamefully you pushed against her, sick to your stomach at how good she tasted. Hints of copper on your tastebuds, her wandering hands. She pulled back, being sure to bite your lip before doing so.
“ You taste that? It’s you.”
She dropped her eyes to your thighs, licking over her lips once more. A trance almost seemed to describe the hunger behind her stare, but you couldn’t be sure. You didn’t care either way, you just wanted her to do whatever was on her mind to you and soon.
“ fucking delicious.”
The whispered lust in her voice rivaled the reaction brought out from Medardas heavy hands.
“ You should taste her General. She’s sweeter than that filthy mouth of hers.”
Wordlessly, she captured your lips next. Her movements were more experienced, methodical and you felt as though you melted into her due to it. Ruby lipstick smeared onto you, a groan slipping from her as she made sure to taste everything you had to offer. The metallic tinge on her tongue made her pull in deeper. You whimpered, dizzy from lack of breath and insatiable roaming hands.By the time she pulled away your eyes were low, an unfocused look about you.
“ I wonder if her cunt tastes even better.”
Kiramman smiled sickly to herself, her gapped teeth giving you a warm tinge to your cheek.
“ We’ll know soon enough.”
….
Your wrist were nearly rubbed raw with all the thrashing you were doing. Time and time again you made attempts to close those abused legs of yours, in hopes of protecting your cunt. Unfortunately, Kiramman wasn’t pleased and she slapped it raw until you cried enough apologies. She mumbled something along the lines of ‘can’t be stupid and greedy’. But you somehow continued to be prove to be both, whining endlessly about the torture of her tongue. She never let up though, only unlatching from you to say obscene things or mark up your poor legs.
It seemed the pair held similar views, sick desires. Medarda would litter your neck and breast with purple marks shamelessly. She smelled of some expensive plant you’d never heard of, all you knew was that it made you whimper everytime her skin was pressed onto yours. She’d whisper siren-like words to you, etched in sin, rough kisses between them all. And yet you drank them into your ears like milk and honey.
“ You just came, didn’t you? Nasty girl.”
“ Do you remember anything now, hm?”
“ Don’t be so dramatic, keep your legs open for her.”
“ You must spread yourself open often. You’re a natural.”
“ Your cunts almost as noisy as you, dear.”
And when her tongue wasn’t making you drip onto the table, Kirammans words were just as wicked, if not more. Her posh accent was a coverup for all the nefarious things laced into it. A very, very poor coverup.
“ I said— keep. them. open. Unless you need a second pair of cuffs? … No? Then fucking listen.”
“ Go on, you can cry. I know it feels good. Yes filthy girl…just like that. ”
“ You’ve made a mess. Say you're sorry.”
“ Quit it, you can get a break when you remember something.”
“ Don’t act so sweet now— had quite a lot to say earlier. Isn’t that right?”
This was wrong, every bit of it. There was nothing exactly right about two high ranking officers of Piltover and Noxus eating you alive in the depths of Stillwater. The thought alone should send you running. It should have you drinking hot flashes of anger, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. But it didn’t. It only made you spread your legs wider and beg shamefully for more kisses.
It all felt so good. They felt so good and a redeemable, rational part of you hated that. But every time rationality tried to sink itself into you, Commander Kiramman and General Merdarda were right there to sink into you faster. And by god, they made you feel more full than any morale.
You were so sure you were going to die before. And that thought that hadn’t been removed just yet, except now you thought you’d pass away from all the onslaught orgasms caused by the ravenous women beside and inside you.
“ a—angh! oh god…pl–please”
Kiramman held back a sly smile, seeing the way you twitched, body so sensitive. Her fingers were drenched with you, now gloveless. Initially her signature black gloves dug inside of you but the minute she tasted you she knew she didn’t want it anywhere but on her skin. Quite roughly, she had pulled three orgasms, somehow each one more intense than the last. But that wasn’t enough, not to them. Nothing was enough until those pretty lips whimpered something they could actually report back. And even then she wasn’t sure she’d want to stop.
“ Are you going to make a mess again for us?”
Pathetically, you fought back the white of your eyes before looking down at her. She couldn’t help but grip your thighs tighter at your teary face, nodding exhaustingly down at her. Medarda kept you slightly upright, your back arching into her bicep while she sucked on your breast. Honestly she hadn’t a clue how long she’d been at it but by the rate she was going you’d look a fucked out mosaic by the time they were done. She laughed to herself but you knew it was at you. And that fact only made you rut against the table more.
“ This is going to be your fourth one dear. We’re never going to leave this room if you keep being so stubborn.”
She trailed her kisses up your chest. A peck here and a peck there. The slow ascend of her affections compared to the rapid thrust of the others fingers made you bite your lip, the skin pulling between your teeth. By the time she was up to your ear you were practically panting.
“ Or is that what you want? For us to keep making you cry until you can’t anymore?”
They’d never know it and thank god for that but you almost whispered a yes.
Kiramman couldn’t hear what was spoken but she definitely felt it. You clenched around her even harder, a long mewl spilling from you. She creased her blue brows slightly as she sped up her fingers, making sure to never be gentle with that special spot, secretly itching to hear just how loud you could get whenever you came. Her counterpart was just as wanting for it out of you, a more balanced desire about her. Even in spite of the way she pulled you in for another kiss when she heard you sob, “ ‘m s-so close..”
This time Kiramman both felt and heard it, her fingers happily accepting the tight squeeze of you. She latched back onto your clit which was practically begging to be consumed again, if you asked her. Immediately you tensed, using every ounce of self restraint to not slam her cheeks with your legs. It also got devastatingly hard to keep up with Medarda’s mouth, she pressed into you like she forgot you needed air, like you only needed them. And as the coil in your belly grew and the sloppy sounds of her eating away filled the room, you did need them.
A muffled moan ricocheted into Merdarda and she invited it wholeheartedly. When she finally pulled away, you used your bound hands to grab at her hand groping you. You squeezed it the second you felt Kiramman offer a grunt inside of your cunt. She licked you like she was rabid, lost in whatever drugs your pussy clearly had laced in it. Merdarda found it all so nasty, so amusing. Seeing the renowned Caitlyn Kiramman so cruel but so feral, and you with your slick mouth gone and lips swollen, made her clench around nothing.
Even if nobody in the room spoke it, you were all enjoying this ‘interrogation’ a little too much. That manic laughter that constantly filled Kirammans head, those stupid pigtails and flashy gadgets, had even subsided for a moment. She still wanted nothing more than to rip that smile off her face, but the way the tears journeyed down your face so easily made her want something more.
Right now all she wanted was for you to cum on her face, and she nearly keeled over when she finally heard you sing that song for her. A moan that could only be replicated in the best whorehouses of Zaun left you. The pair both smiled the moment they heard you whimper what they already knew.
“ i th—‘m gonn—“
You could barely manage a single word, back practically ingraining itself in her arm the way you arched over it.
“ Let it out, make a mess.”
Your body truly was more honest than you and clearly obedient because the second she said it you did. Your self restraint abandoned you, left you on that table shaking and crying. Your bruised legs kissed her cheeks (not so gently) as she ate and thrusted at the same pace she did before, never letting up. Even with your legs shaking and around her she just drove in deeper. The pleasure slipped into overdrive making you shake your head, trying your best to pull away, use your hands, anything to make her stop. But Merdarda snatched your cuffed hands.
“ kira—kirammannn!”
Wow, that’s the only time she’s heard her last name and wanted to hear it more. But she ignored you, knowing you were begging for her to stop. By now your legs had dropped, too weak to hold up. Your whole body practically vibrated as you lost your breath. Maybe it was the burning sensation ripping through you or the cotton in your head but you stupidly turned your head to look up at Medarda.
“ help…me…gonna fu— die!”
First she looked at you, toyed with your nipple as your hands fought against hers. So pretty and so pathetic, she thought. Then looked down at Kiramman, whose eyes now opened and met hers. An amused glint was in her blue tinted stare and suddenly Medarda couldn’t think of a single reason she’d help you.
“ She’s eating child, don’t be so rude. Have some manners.”
She was looking at you when she said it, but from the mockery in her tone you knew it was meant for more than just you. And it was confirmed when a smile traced itself onto your throbbing cunt. But it quickly went away. She was eating after all.
“ i canttt! pleasee!”
Kiramman didn’t stop until you went silent, unable to speak, inconsistent babbles of nonsense here and there. You weren’t even shaking now, just twitching and breathing like the oxygen in the room had been sucked out. When she finally got up from between your legs she couldn’t help herself and gave two quick bites. A strangle mix of a hiss and moan could be heard as you watched her stand. She lifted her fingers to your mouth, shoving them inside.
You expected her to be rough and jam them down your throat but to your surprise she simply swirled them around your mouth. Despite that voice in your head you sucked at them tiredly hoping to please them. And pleased they were. They both watched as you weakly licked her fingers clean. By the time she pulled away they both knew that previous orgasm just couldn’t be the last.
“ Do you remember anything now?”
You were fucked out, but not that fucked out.
“…no”
Thank god, they both thought in unison.
“ I guess it’s my turn then.”
BONUS
Kiramman walked with pure candor on her face. She heard the whispers as she walked past but she ignored them. What was the point in entertaining fools? Besides, the moment her eyes met theirs they always went silent. Always. Today hadn’t been the best day for her. Most days weren’t, hunting for that psycho and her friends wasn’t an easy job or a fun one. But she wouldn’t rather be doing anything else. Well…maybe someone else…
“ Don’t let anyone in.”
The guard nodded dutifully.
By the time she reached the room, she was already imagining her sweet song. She didn’t have to wait long to hear it in person because it was practically blasting throughout the room the moment the door opened. She closed the door behind her, smiling deviously as she placed her heavy cape onto the chair.
“ She’s even wetter today, if you can believe it.”
She laughed softly, “ Oh I can believe it. How many has she got so far?”
“ Just two. Don’t worry, you didn’t take too long.”
“ God, I know. I got caught up with that fool Salo.”
Medarda laughed now, knowing all too well how annoying he could be.
“ medardaaa”
Your toes curled, struggling to handle the two large fingers inside of you. Both were devastatingly skilled with their fingers but hers were undoubtedly bigger. Way bigger. And if the size wasn’t agonizing enough, she was hitting that spot over and over. This time your hands were free, and you used them to grip her bicep.
Suddenly your throat had a new necklace. Not a very nice one. She squeezed her free hand around your throat, speeding her fingers. Clearly she wasn’t a fan of your interruption, despite the way her cunt ached when she heard her name in such a filthy way.
“ Can’t you see us talking? And you didn’t even greet your Commander. She came all this way to see you.”
You thought you were going to pass out, the squelching sounds and sultry insults becoming distant. Your mind and body gave into her once the resisting clearly wasn’t doing anything. And you loved it. Each filthy posh coated word, lingering touch, rushed collided lips left you undone. The strength behind their hands made you want to never be without it. And for the past two weeks it continued to, leaving you right here in this room on this desk, unable to breath, only able to cry and spread your legs wider.
Medarda let go, allowing Kiramman to finally slip beside you. As much as she loved the song you offered, she wanted your lips. You gasped into her, them giving you no time to actually catch a breath between the transfer. Lightheaded, you still pushed against her, wetness dripping from your face to hers. She pulled away, licked the rogue tear from the corner of your mouth.
By the time she was looking at you, you were heaving, clasping onto her bicep instead of Medardas now. She watched with such marvel as your face contorted into those beautiful expressions, such a drastic difference from the stupid girl she interrogated. Logically she knew she couldn’t call what all of you were doing an interrogation. So she opted to saying ‘some investigating work’ the few times someone inquired about her abrupt departures. It wasn’t a complete lie, her and Medarda were investigating something every couple of days. your cunt
Her gaze traced to the brown fingers moving in and out of you, then to glisten on her General's hand and finally to your thighs. They were healing nicely. Unfortunately for her they wouldn’t leave a scar according to the doctor she took you to. She almost frowned at the thought.
But then she heard you whisper a quick, “ h-hi Kiramman…”
She smiled at you, a warm thought coming to her.
“ Hi, filthy girl.”
We’ll make sure they scar next time.
P.s. They had the officers who beat you killed 😜
1K notes · View notes
itneverendshere · 4 months ago
Text
LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - TWO
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pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: mentions of possible pregnancy, of abortion, of pregnancy risks & death. self-loathing. chapter one ┆ chapter three ┆ chapter four
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You lied.
You didn’t take the tests the next day.
Or the next. You couldn’t. Every time you picked up one of the stupid boxes, your heart would drop to the pits of hell and your hands would start sweating. You’d shove it back in the drawer like it could disappear if you just ignored it hard enough.
Once you knew, you knew. 
There was no more pretending as if nothing happened.
No more pretending like you didn't care that Rafe moved on like he didn’t just dump you, with no real closure and ran to the next girl he found. 
Fuck, why did he have to look so happy that night? He got to be carefree, living his perfect little life with her, and you were there, sitting on the bathroom floor, too scared to even pee on a stick.
What if it was positive? Then what? The thought of seeing his name pop up on your phone after you blocked him, or worse, hearing her voice if she picked up...you’d rather die. He didn't deserve to know.
He didn't deserve anything from you anymore.
You started googling abortion clinics before you even touched the tests. You could afford it. That wasn’t even the issue.
You had more money than you knew what to do with. Your inheritance was just sitting there. You could book a flight tomorrow, pay for whatever procedure, whatever it took—fly out of state, out of the country, if you had to. 
But that wasn’t the point. It has never been about the money. It was the overwhelming shame. The fear. The realization that Rafe might have left you, but he was still there, stuck in your head, in your body, in your fucking life. Even when he wasn’t.  
He didn’t have to worry about any of this. He was most likely out on the boat, not even thinking about you. Not thinking about what he did to you. 
And you— you were left with this. Sitting on a bathroom floor for hours a day, trying to figure out how you were supposed to make a decision that changed everything.
You started looking up clinics again, scrolling through the options, but your mind was barely even there. It was legal in North Carolina for now, but you read something about the 12-week ban they passed in June, and suddenly you were spiraling one more time, wondering how much time you even had. 
Could you wait? Could you put it off like you’d been putting off the tests, like if you waited long enough, maybe the problem would just... disappear? Shit, wouldn’t that be easier?
You heard that voice in your head, the one that sounded like your mom, at least what you remembered from watching old videos.
It was depressing how life didn’t let you hold tightly to your memories sometimes. She always reminded you of the kind of person you were supposed to be. The type of girl who had her shit together. The type of girl who didn’t get herself into situations like this, in the first place.
But instead, you were the girl who lost everything—the life you were supposed to have—and somehow, you’d still found a way to screw up what was left.
You kept scrolling like you couldn’t stop.
One page led to another, and soon you weren’t just looking up clinics—you were looking up everything. 
What happened during the procedure, how long it took, the side effects, the complications. You read horror stories about infections, about women who thought it was over and then bled for weeks, about people who changed their minds too late.
You even looked up what could happen if you didn’t get an abortion—what pregnancy could do to your body. And that was a whole other rabbit hole you didn’t need to go down. Your body changing, your hormones going insane. You thought about your boobs getting sore, your stomach stretching, the possibility of throwing up every morning, and it felt like your body was already betraying you. And then you read the serious stuff—gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, all these words you didn’t even know existed before that night. There was a minefield of things that could go wrong, things that would go wrong.
Complications. Risks. Dangers.
You read about women who almost died in labor. About miscarriages and stillbirths and the trauma of carrying a baby for months, only to lose it. You never even thought about that, how pregnancy wasn’t just this smooth, magical process people make it out to be. It was brutal. But you’d been the little sister, you never saw your mother go through it, or anyone for that matter.
Your younger cousin, Topper the bitching backstabber, had been born and raised in Los Angeles before he moved to Figure 8 when he was five. 
You were terrified—not just of being pregnant, but of what it meant to stay pregnant. Would your body even handle it? You’d always lived off coffee and takeout half the time. An unreasonable amount of parties. Too many drinks some nights.
You weren’t exactly the picture of health. What if you weren’t strong enough? What if something went wrong, and you ended up in a hospital bed, alone, because Rafe sure as fuck wouldn’t be there. It was just you.
For a second there, you thought you might pass out.
You’d thrown your phone across the room, it hit the wall with a thud, but it didn’t help. The anxiety was still there, vibrating under your skin, making you want to scream. You glanced at the bathroom drawer again, where the pregnancy tests were hidden like some cursed thing.
Maybe you should’ve just taken one.
Rip off the bandaid.
The stupid phone rang, like was having fun pissing you off, vibrating on the floor where you’d thrown it. You stared at it for a second, debating if you should even pick it up. You didn’t feel like dealing with anyone, especially not whoever was about to ask something from you.
But it kept ringing, and of course, it was a number you recognized—Lily, one of the coordinators from your dad’s foundation. Shit. You forgot about the gala. Again. The one that was happening in two freaking days, the one you haven’t even thought about preparing for.
You swiped to answer, “Yeah?”
“Hey, I didn’t want to bother you, but we need to go over the final details for the gala,” She greeted you, sounding way too perky for how you were feeling. “I really need your input on the seating arrangements, and the auction items, and—”
It hit you just how ironic this was. You were sitting here, freaking out about being possibly pregnant, scrolling through nightmare stories about abortion and pregnancy complications, while Lily was talking about a fundraiser for children’s health. Kids. It felt like some twisted repulsive joke the universe was playing on you.
You blinked back into the conversation, realizing she still talking, and you hadn’t said a word. “Uh, yeah, sorry. I’ve been busy. Can you just handle it?” you muttered, feeling guilty but not enough to actually deal with any of it.
“I’ve already taken care of most things,” she said carefully, “but we really need your approval on the final guest list and the speech. You’re the face of the foundation, after all.”
The face of the foundation. The legacy your dad left you. It was supposed to be this huge responsibility. And it was. You’d always taken it seriously. The one thing in your life you never ruined. But this year, you hadn’t written the speech yet. Jesus, you forgot it was even happening. And the guest list? No clue.
You rubbed your forehead, “I’ll look at it later. Just send it over.”
Lily hesitated again, probably sensing that something was off, you'd always been a control freak. “Okay, I’ll email it to you. Just let me know by tomorrow, alright?”
“Yeah, sure.”
You hung up before she could add anything else, staring at the ceiling. One more thing. One more responsibility piled on top of everything else. You were drowning in all these expectations—being the good daughter to dead parents, the responsible one, the perfect kook girl who was supposed to have everything. You were supposed to be the girl who had the trust fund, the perfect life, the foundation that helped kids in need.
You earned to be her.
Your phone buzzed again, this time with an email notification. You rolled your eyes, already knowing it was from Lily. She’d sent over the guest list, and you groaned, thinking you’d skim it, give it a half-assed glance, and send it back. But as you scrolled down the names, you stopped.
Rafe Cameron.
Of course, he was going to be there. Why wouldn’t he? His family had been involved in your dad’s foundation for years. It was like you couldn’t escape him.
The fucking nerve. To your gala. Your blood boiled instantly, your fingers gripping the phone so tight you almost cracked the screen.
Fuck him. 
If he thought he could just show up and rub his new life in your face, he had another thing coming. Without thinking twice, you deleted his name, erasing him like he didn’t even exist. And then, without checking another name, you sent the list back to Lily.
You didn’t give a shit if it was petty. You didn’t care if it wasn’t professional.
If Rafe wanted to play games, you’d ruin his life if you had to. He thought he could fuck you over, leave you with all this—leave you with nothing? No. You weren’t going to let him have that power.
Not over this. Not over you.
You were shaking now, but it almost felt good. Even if it was just a stupid guest list. Let him find out when he got there and there was no table for him. No seat. No fucking room. 
You still sat there staring at the screen with that stupid blinking cursor. The email from Lily sat open in front of you, and somewhere buried in the list of attachments was the speech. Blank.
Your speech—the one you were supposed to read at the gala in two days. The one you hadn’t even started writing.
This was always the hardest part. Writing it. Saying it. You used to cry every time. Standing in front of all those people, talking about your dad, your family, how the foundation was this beautiful way of keeping their memory alive. It was never just a speech—it was like ripping your heart out of your chest and letting everyone see it, year after year. It never got easier.
But Rafe, used to be there with you.
Every year. He’d sit with you while you struggled through every word, telling you it was okay to take your time, reminding you that you didn’t have to do it if you didn’t want to. And when the gala came, he was always by your side, standing just off stage, waiting for you after the speech was done. You’d run into his arms, and he’d whisper that you 'did great baby', holding you until the room stopped spinning so much.
You could still hear his voice in your head sometimes, 'you’re stronger than you think'.
That’s what he always said, even when you didn’t believe it. He’d hold you, kiss your forehead, and make you feel like it was true, like you really could get through it. He was always so sure of you. But this year? He wasn’t going to be there. He’d stop believing the lies he fed you. You were angry. You were seething. You were utterly alone.
You’d been avoiding this moment—writing.
This time around, it wasn’t just about the speech. It was about the fact that when you walked out of that stage, you wouldn’t have him waiting for you.
You’d step down into nothingness, with no one to catch you.
Your fingers hovered over the screen, but they wouldn’t move. What were you even supposed to say this year? How were you supposed to stand up in front of all those people and talk about love and family and legacy when yours was shattered?
You hated looking at yourself in the mirror, feeling like you’d lost every single piece of who you used to be.
Fuck the speech. Fuck the gala. Fuck Rafe Cameron and his stupid lies, his stupid smile, his stupid promises that he never kept.  
If he thought you were weak, if he thought he could break you, if he thought you were the same girl who used to cling to him like he was the only thing keeping you together—he was wrong.
You were going to do this without him.
You were going to stand up there and give that speech, no matter how much it hurt. And if it killed you, so be it. You’d still do it.
Because unlike him, you didn’t just walk away from the things that mattered. Even if it tore you apart. Even if it was killing you to keep pretending like you were fine. You weren’t fine. But you’d fake it. You’d fake it until the whole world believed it. 
You’d barely hit send on the email when your phone rang again, and this time it wasn’t Lily.
It was Topper. You hadn’t talked to him since that night—the night. The party where you’d found out, where you’d seen Rafe and Sofia together for the first time. Where you realized that everyone knew.
How he’d called Rafe over, like you needed him to fix it, like he was still yours to rely on.
“What?”
“Hey…” Topper’s voice was cautious, “I, uh, I wanted to call and apologize for the other night.”
You snorted, leaning your head back against the wall. “Yeah? For what part? For calling Rafe like his little bitch or for getting in front of my car when I was trying to leave?”
“I didn’t mean to fuck things up. I was just trying to stop you from doing something stupid.”
“Like what?” you snapped. “Leaving the party? Getting out of there before I had to watch him with her for one more second? Yeah, Top, real dumb of me.”
“You almost ran me over,” Topper shot back, his voice rising just a little, like he was offended you hadn’t mentioned that part. “Kinda felt like maybe you weren’t thinking straight.”
“You jumped in front of the car you fucking idiot. What the hell did you expect me to do? Slam on the brakes and listen to whatever bullshit you and Rafe had to say? Because trust me, ’m all out of patience for either of you.”
There was a sigh on the other end, the sound of him trying to not to lose his patentience, like he was the one in the right here. Typical Topper. Always wanting to smooth things over, play peacemaker between you and Rafe, like this was just another fight you’d get over.
He never really got it.
“Look,” Your cousin started, calmer this time, “I didn’t mean to call him. I just thought—”
“You always think calling him will fix things,” you cut in, “Like he’s the answer to every problem I have. He’s not. Not anymore.”
“I get that,” He added quickly, like he was afraid you’d hang up. “But I didn’t know what else to do! You were upset, and I thought maybe—”
“Maybe what? That he could swoop in and save the day?” You let out a bitter laugh. “He’s not your golden boy, Top. He doesn’t fix anything. He ruins things.”
Topper went quiet for a second, probably trying to figure out how to respond without setting you off on an angry rant again. “I get it,” he said finally, “You’re pissed at him. You have every right to be. But I didn’t call him to hurt you, okay? I was worried about you.”
You hated how genuine he sounded, hated that he meant well. He was a nuisance half of the time, sure, but he wasn’t malicious. He never was. He just had terrible judgment. 
“Next time, don’t,” you muttered, rubbing a hand over your face. “I don’t need you playing little brother and calling him when things go wrong."
“I wasn’t trying to clean anything up,” Topper explained, a little defensive now. “I just didn’t want you driving like that. You were upset.”
You rolled your eyes. “Upset doesn’t mean I need you or Rafe deciding what’s best for me. I’m not a kid.”
“You’re not,” he agreed, “But you weren’t exactly in a great headspace, so yeah, I stopped you. I wasn’t gonna let you leave like that and end up in a ditch somewhere.”
It hurt like a bitch, because deep down, you knew Topper had a point.
You were having a meltdown, and he’d stepped in, like he always did when you went off the rails. That was the problem with him—he cared, even when you didn’t want him to. He was family, the only family you had left, and he was too loyal for his own good.
“You could’ve told me,” you confessed what had been upsetting you, your voice losing some of its initial attitude. “About them. Instead of letting me walk into that party blind.”
Topper sighed again, “I should’ve,” he admitted. “I didn’t want you to find out like that. But it wasn’t my place to say anything. And I didn’t want to make things worse.”
Your hand instinctively moved to cup your stomach. You didn’t even realize you were doing it at first, but the second your fingers touched your shirt, the earlier panic welled up inside you again. If he only knew how bad things were. How bad they could get. You yanked your hand away like you’d been burned, heart hammering against your ribs most painfully. There was no way you could even begin to explain what was going on inside your head—or your body.
Not to Topper. Not to anyone. If he knew, he’d freak and you didn’t need that right now.
You clenched your jaw, pushing yourself to focus on the conversation, on Topper still yammering on about apologies and guilt You shook your head, a bitter smile tugging at your lips. 
“Are you even listening?”
“Unfortunately,” You sounded apathetic even to yourself, fingers tapping against the phone, agitated. “Look, Top, I don’t have time for this right now. I’m busy.”
He sighed. “I know you’re pissed, okay? I get it. But the gala’s in, like, two days. You... you still going, right?”
“Of course I’m going,” you scowled, barely able to hide the bitterness in your voice. “I have to. It’s not like I can just dip out and pretend it’s not happening.”
Unlike some people, you thought, but you bit your tongue.
“Good, because I’ll be there too. And I—”
“Oh, joy,” you interrupted, “Another chance for you to babysit me and make sure I don’t make a scene? Can’t wait.”
“Jesus, I’m just trying to help!” Topper groaned. “I didn’t want to make things worse the other night. I—”
“Yeah. Whatever, I’ll see you at the gala.”
You hung up. You didn’t have the patience to deal with him right now. 
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The day of the gala came faster than you thought it would.
It was like you blinked, and suddenly, you were standing in the middle of the venue, walking through final checks with Lily, nodding along as she rattled off details you barely absorbed.
The room was all glitz and glamour, with chandeliers dripping from the ceiling, and everything draped in the foundation’s signature gold and white. 
Crisp tablecloths. Flowers in perfect, elegant arrangements. Waiters in black-tie uniforms were circulating, making sure everything looked flawless. Flawless.
That word made you want to gag.
You moved through the space like a ghost, smiling at the right moments, giving half-hearted approvals when needed.  You didn’t care. People were running around, asking for your opinion on this or that. You’d stayed at the venue longer than planned, making sure everything was in order, but your mind was stuck in that floating-place. You wanted to burn the whole thing down, if you were being honest.
You should’ve called your doctor. Days ago. Hell, maybe weeks ago.
Making smart choices wasn’t your thing lately, was it?
When you finally slipped into the room where they’d set up your glam team, you just wanted to sleep. The room itself was a suite off to the side of the venue, a private space meant to make you feel like royalty.
A massive mirror ran across one wall, surrounded by soft, glowing lights. A table was set up with everything—hair tools, makeup brushes, palettes, serums. Bottles of champagne sat chilled in the corner, the condensation dripping down the glass, untouched. It was the kind of place you were supposed to feel special in.
Normally you did. But this year you were numb.
The stylist worked quietly on your hair, soft curls falling into place as she tugged and pinned each section with meticulous care. The makeup artist was dabbing foundation onto your skin, blending and contouring until you didn’t even recognize yourself in the mirror. The dress hung behind you, a shimmering white gown, custom-designed by Versace for the occasion.
You looked like you were stepping into one of those perfect, glamorous lives. But on the inside, you felt like you were going to lose it at any second. You nodded along, giving tight-lipped smiles when they complimented you, and then they finally left.
The room was dead silent now, just you and your reflection. You stood in front of the mirror, staring at yourself, the perfect curls, the glowy skin, the gown waiting behind you. It all felt wrong. It felt fake. You didn’t bear a resemblance to yourself.
You looked like the version of you that the world expected—the untouchable girl. A doll.
Your rifled through your bag for your phone, but instead, your fingers brushed something else. Cold, hard. 
You hadn’t even realized it was in there.
One of the pregnancy tests. You must’ve thrown it in without thinking earlier that morning when you were rushing out the door. You hadn’t even noticed it until now.
What the fuck were you doing?
You had a gala to host in less than an hour. People were going to be looking at you, waiting for you to give the speech, expecting you to hold everything together like always. And there you were, standing in a private dressing room, about to do something so monumentally stupid. Maybe it was the pressure of tonight, or maybe it was the anger you’d been shoving down for weeks, but suddenly, you didn’t care.
You were going to do it.
Without even thinking, you stormed into the bathroom. You were so fucking tired of avoiding this. Tired of pretending like everything was fine, like you were fine.
What the hell was fine about any of this? You tore open the box, hands trembling as you pulled out the test. The room was so quiet, you could hear every little sound—your breath still uneven, the rustle of your dress against the tiles, the click of the test cap as you flicked it off.
You sat down, staring at the stick in your hand. This was insane. You were insane. Who the fuck took a pregnancy test ten minutes before they’re supposed to host a charity gala? 
You couldn’t get a proper breath out as you waited, heart pounding so hard it felt like it might rip your chest open. You leaned against the sink, gripping the edge. Your stomach churned, the nausea rising again, and you had to close your eyes to stop the floor from spinning.
What if it was positive? What if it wasn’t?
You stared at the test, willing the result to appear, but it didn’t. Not yet. The little window stayed blank, as if taunting you, making you feel like you were losing your mind. You knew you had to wait longer. You weren’t stupid. You’d read those instructions a million times by now, but you hated waiting.
Hated not knowing.
You couldn’t take your eyes off the stupid little piece of plastic. Just one line or two. That was all it came down to. One fucking line or two, and your entire life would either fall apart or what? Be fine?
You glanced at the mirror, catching another glimpse of yourself, and it almost startled you—your eyes were wild. Desperate. They were the eyes of someone who was just about ready to do anything to get this over with. 
You tried to picture telling him again, but the idea alone made you sick. You thought of Sofia, of her perfect smile next to his, and bile rose in your throat. Your hands never stopped shaking. You wanted to run. You wanted to throw that thing in the garbage can and never stare at it again.
Your thoughts spun in circles, going nowhere, just making everything worse. The clock on your phone ticked louder and louder, and you knew—somewhere out there, everyone was getting ready. Guests were arriving. The gala would start soon, and they’d all be waiting for you. Watching you. Expecting you to be the poised, perfect version of yourself you’d spent your whole life pretending to be.
And you were in here, trying not to lose your fucking mind.
You peeked back at it. Still nothing.
No line. No answer.
It felt like you were suspended in time. You closed your eyes, gripping the sink harder, praying for it to end—something to happen, anything.
Then finally, you felt it in your chest—a heavy, sinking feeling, like the moment before a fall.
You opened your eyes. 
There it was.
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pseudowho · 10 months ago
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The Wristwatch
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You had not known you were Nanami Kento's girl, until the Wristwatch Incident.
In truth, your affection had been brewing so slowly, you had not known if you were imagining it.
You had not realised you were in love with Kento, until he leaned in close, and you smelled the smoky, wood-rich warmth of him. Until you found yourself nursing stomach-dropping disappointment, if your phone pinged and it wasn't him. Until you woke up in cold sweats, the memory of the dream of his skin on yours so vivid that your heartbeat throbbed between your legs.
You couldn't accept it. It couldn't be love, when he did not love you back. And yet...that intoxicating dance continued, while your head dipped in denial...blinkered.
The extra coffee that would be slid over the desk to you, by a strong, gentle hand. The late night phonecalls, decompressing from the stress of your missions. The occasional dinner in each others' company, because, well...we both need to eat? Why not eat together?
You were afraid to label it; afraid to lose the soft skirting intimacy that you had. Nanami Kento was a hard man to gauge; alternately sincere and distant, warm and cool, closely familiar and objectively analytical. He kept you at arms' length; close enough to brush fingertips, but far enough that you could run...if you wanted. And you never did.
You had gone shopping, together, one balmy spring afternoon. You both needed new clothes...so why not together? It makes sense, really. Nothing else in it, I'm sure. Just friends. He doesn't feel that way about me, anyway.
He had insisted upon Ginza Shopping Mall. You balked at the exquisitely-expensive-upmarketness of it, but you could never deny him, for fear of losing this time together. You had perused for new earrings, your belly clenching at the many zeroes on every pricetag. He had ambled over to another counter, just browsing, and there for quite some time.
"See anything you like?" That deep-roast voice broke you out of your reverie. You looked up, into twinkling hazel eyes, and blushed. Yes, you. One of you, Kento, please and thank you.
"No," you scoffed, turning your back on the jewellery, and walking towards the shop door, "too cheap for me. I couldn't possibly be seen wearing them."
Kento laughed, slipping a box into his pocket, and walking just close enough to send your brain into a spiral. You barely functioned through lunch. Kento remained, as ever, a gentleman.
As he drove you to your door, and you bid him a flustered goodnight, you felt that same big, warm hand on your arm, holding you back to him.
"Wait," Kento insisted, "I have...something. For you. Open it when you're home." He pressed a smooth, embossed box into your hands. You could not see what it was, under the glossy paper sleeve. You opened your mouth to chastise Kento, and he interrupted smoothly.
"It's your birthday soon. Consider it an early gift. You couldn't possibly refuse...?" One raised, fine eyebrow. That cool, impassive gaze. You pouted. Sneaky old goat.
"Alright. You win this time, Kento...but I'll get you back," you had promised. He had simply smiled indulgently, stepped out to open your door, and watched you until you were inside.
With trembling hands, you slid the smooth paper cover off the box, and your stomach somersaulted.
Tag Heuer.
"No...Kento-- you didn't," you hushed to yourself, rushing to open the box.
You fumbled an exquisite silver, blue-faced women's watch out of the box. It seemed, somehow, familiar. You couldn't possibly. You knew the pricetag on these. Even the packaging was too expensive for you.
With one hand over your mouth and a pounding little heart, you sent Kento a text with shaky hands;
Nanami Kento. Absolutely not. Take it back.
A few anxious minutes, pacing, looking at the watch resting on the table and gasping each time. Three small dot dot dots...dot dot dots...and a response.
Sorry. Lost the receipt. It will look good on you.
Squeaking and grinning to yourself, you tried the watch on. You took it off. You paced. You tried it on again. You fell back onto your bed, legs kicking, and hands over your face.
Every further refusal you send to Kento, was flatly ignored. He left you on read all night.
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The next day, at work, you couldn't help but notice the looks you were receiving. They weren't bad looks, certainly, more...surprise? Happy acceptance? Knowing smiles? Each person the same; glancing to your watch, eyebrows raising, and searching your face with a grin. You didn't understand it.
Over lunch, Shoko reached over to you, a coffee in her other hand, and tapped the new watch on your wrist.
"Couples' watches now, hmm?" She smirked. You frowned, questioning. Shoko scoffed at you, as if you were playing coy, when you didn't even know the rules of the game. Shoko's smile didn't falter once.
You confronted Kento later that afternoon, dragging him into a dusty narrow corridor, and holding the watch up to him with fighting eyes.
Kento's heart burst with pride, biting his lip with a sly smile, and taking your wristwatched hand in his own. He tipped your arm back and forth, admiring the watch on your wrist from all angles, with a lovesick sigh. You suddenly recalled, with flushed cheeks, where you had seen such a similar wristwatch before.
Kento watched your mental gymnastics with a slowly growing smile. You almost caught on fire as he raised your hand to his lips, pressing an adoring kiss to the back of your knuckles.
"Wondered how long you'd take to notice," Kento rumbled, eyed closed and nuzzling his nose against your fingers, "that you're my girl. And always have been."
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luvoverdose · 28 days ago
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‘ 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐔𝐓𝐄 ‘ — 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨
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▏in which. Matt never expected to find his forever at a friend’s wedding, but fate had other plans.
contains. super cutesy fluff, swearing,
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Matt and his family trudged through the biting cold, their thick layers offering little protection against the sharp, relentless wind. Snow crunched beneath their boots, and the occasional gust sent icy flurries stinging against their cheeks.
"Who even gets married in the middle of winter?" Nick muttered under his breath, casting a glance at his brothers as they neared the grand entrance of the venue. His tone was equal parts exasperated and incredulous, his breath clouding in the frosty air.
"Someone with a serious love for frostbite," Matt replied dryly, adjusting his scarf and pulling his coat tighter as another gust whipped past them. Behind them, their mother shot them a look that could freeze water midair.
"Behave yourselves," she said sharply. "It's a beautiful day, and you're not the ones getting married."
Nick snorted but kept his thoughts to himself as the family reached the door. A wave of warmth and the sound of muffled laughter spilled out, promising a stark contrast to the frigid outdoors.
Meanwhile, you were upstairs with your sister, the bride, trying your best to ignore the icy chill seeping through the old walls. The small space heater in the corner did little more than hum uselessly, and you rubbed your arms in a futile attempt to warm up.
"Is there any heat up here? Holy shit," you muttered, smoothing down your crimson silk dress, the fabric offering no protection against the cold. The deep red shimmered in the dim light, but all you could focus on was the goosebumps prickling your skin.
"We agreed on no complaining, remember?" your sister teased, her voice light and steady despite the chaos of the day. She turned back to the mirror, tilting her head slightly as she adjusted the delicate lace sleeves of her gown. "Plus, I think I’m ready."
She smiled softly, her reflection radiating that surreal bridal glow you’d only ever seen in movies. Grabbing her bouquet—an elegant arrangement of deep reds, creams, and greens—she turned to face you fully, her excitement bubbling just beneath the surface.
"You sure? No cold feet?" you asked with a wry grin, crossing your arms to fight the chill again.
Her smile widened, her eyes sparkling. "None. But if my toes fall off from this weather, you’re carrying me down the aisle."
Downstairs, the final details were falling into place as the ceremony began. The seating was elegant but simple, white chairs dusted with evergreen sprigs and soft candlelight casting a warm glow over the room. The cold outside was forgotten in the cozy ambiance, and soon, it was time for the bridal party to take their places.
You stood in line with the other bridesmaids, gripping your bouquet tightly, your crimson dress catching the flickering light with every slight movement. The music began to swell, and Justin, Matt’s older brother and your assigned escort for the walk down the aisle, gave you a charming grin as he offered his arm.
“Ready?” he asked, his voice calm but tinged with amusement.
“As I’ll ever be,” you replied, looping your arm through his, hoping your heels wouldn’t betray you.
The two of you glided down the aisle in sync, all eyes on the bridal party. Well, almost all.
From where he stood at the groomsmen’s line, Matt caught sight of you, and the air seemed to leave his lungs entirely. He’d seen pretty women before, sure—but this? You were magnetic. The way the silk hugged your figure, the soft waves of your hair, the confident set of your shoulders as you moved with Justin—it was all too much and yet not enough.
His thoughts spiraled somewhere he probably shouldn’t have let them go in the middle of a wedding. He cleared his throat and tried to focus, but his eyes kept wandering back to you. Every curve, every subtle sway of your hips—it all demanded his full attention.
“Eyes forward,” his younger brother nudged him, smirking.
Matt forced himself to stare straight ahead, but his thoughts were anything but innocent.
After the ceremony and the dreamy reception filled with laughter, dancing, and endless champagne, Matt found himself standing at the edge of the room, nursing a drink and stealing glances at you across the crowd. You were laughing at something Justin had said, your head tilting back in a way that made Matt’s chest tighten.
Screw it, he thought.
“Hey, Justin,” Matt said, stepping up to his brother, trying to sound casual. “Who’s your date?”
Justin’s brow arched, a knowing smile creeping onto his face. “Not my date. That’s Y/N, one of the bridesmaids. Why?”
Matt shrugged, though the heat rising to his neck betrayed his nonchalance. “Think you could introduce us?”
Justin laughed, clapping Matt on the shoulder. “Man, you’ve been staring at her all night. Took you long enough to ask. Come on.”
Matt followed Justin across the room, his pulse quickening with every step. The moment Justin tapped your shoulder and said, “Hey, there’s someone you’ve got to meet,” Matt swore he forgot how to breathe.
You turned at Justin’s voice, your curious smile still lingering from whatever joke he’d told you moments before. When your eyes landed on Matt, that smile didn’t just linger—it deepened, and Matt felt it like a punch to the chest.
“This is my brother, Matt,” Justin said casually, giving Matt a little shove forward. “He’s been dying to meet you all night.”
“Has he now?” you asked, your voice teasing but warm, your gaze locking onto Matt’s.
Matt chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Not dying, exactly. Maybe… curious.”
“Curious, huh?” You tilted your head, your lips quirking into a playful grin. “Well, Matt, I’m Y/N. One of the bridesmaids, but I’m guessing you already knew that.”
Justin laughed, shaking his head. “And with that, my work here is done. Don’t blow it, Matt.” He clapped his brother on the back and walked off, leaving the two of you alone amidst the buzz of the reception.
Matt took a breath, trying to steady himself. “So… what do I say to someone who’s managed to distract me during an entire wedding ceremony?”
You raised a brow, your grin turning sly. “Is that your way of saying you were staring at me?”
He smirked, leaning slightly closer. “Guilty. But can you blame me? That dress is… dangerous.” His voice dipped, low enough to send a shiver up your spine.
“Oh, is that right?” you shot back, heat rising to your cheeks as you glanced away for a moment. “Careful, Matt, I might start thinking you’re trouble.”
He leaned in even closer, his voice dropping into a near-whisper. “And what if I am?”
Your breath caught for a second, but you refused to let him see you falter. You met his gaze head-on, a playful spark in your eyes. “Then I guess we’ll find out.”
The music shifted to a slower song, and Matt held out his hand without breaking eye contact. “Dance with me?”
You hesitated, just long enough to make him sweat a little, before finally slipping your hand into his. “Why not?”
The two of you moved to the dance floor, the world narrowing to just the two of you as Matt’s hand settled on your waist. His touch was warm, steady, and the way he looked at you—like you were the only person in the room—made your heart race.
“So, Matt,” you began, your voice light as you swayed to the music, “is this how you usually meet women at weddings?”
“Only the ones who make crimson look like a weapon,” he replied smoothly, earning a laugh from you.
As the night wore on, the conversation flowed as effortlessly as the dance, and by the end of the song, Matt knew one thing for certain: he wasn’t letting this be a one-time meeting.
The night carried on, the reception buzzing with laughter, music, and the kind of warmth that only weddings seemed to conjure. You found yourself mingling with family and friends, caught up in lighthearted conversations and the occasional glass of champagne. Every now and then, though, you’d catch Matt’s gaze across the room. He wasn’t subtle—each time your eyes met, a faint smile would tug at his lips, his eyes lingering just a beat too long.
It was after the cake cutting, when the crowd was thinning out on the dance floor, that Matt finally made his move. You were standing near the bar, swirling the last of your drink in your glass, when his voice broke through the din.
“Thought I’d find you here,” he said, leaning casually against the bar next to you.
You turned, your lips curving into a smirk. “Oh yeah? Stalking me now?”
“Not stalking,” he countered smoothly. “Just... gravitating.”
You laughed, shaking your head as you set your glass down. “Nice save.”
Matt grinned, his confidence growing with every second you stayed engaged. “So, how’s the night treating you?”
“It’s been fun,” you admitted. “Weddings have a way of making everything feel a little... magical.”
“Magical, huh?” He tilted his head, his eyes locking onto yours in a way that sent a flutter through your chest. “I’d agree. I think I got pretty lucky tonight.”
“Lucky how?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Well,” he said, leaning in slightly, his voice dropping just enough to make your pulse quicken, “I met someone who completely stole my attention the moment I saw her. And now I’m trying to figure out how to make sure tonight isn’t the last time I see her.”
Your breath caught for a moment, his words catching you off guard. But you quickly recovered, your lips quirking into a sly smile. “You’re laying it on thick, huh?”
“Maybe,” he admitted, a soft laugh escaping him. “But I’m not lying.”
You tilted your head, pretending to consider his words. “Alright, then. Let’s say I believe you. What’s your next move?”
Matt’s grin turned boyish, almost endearing. “I was hoping you’d make it easy on me and just give me your number.”
You blinked, surprised by his straightforwardness, but the sincerity in his eyes made you soften. “Just like that, huh?”
“Just like that,” he said, holding out his phone. “Unless you want me to beg, but I’ve got to warn you—I’m terrible at it.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head as you took his phone. “Alright, Matt. You’ve earned it.”
As you typed in your number, you felt his eyes on you, the weight of his attention palpable. When you handed the phone back, your fingers brushed against his, sending a jolt of warmth through you.
“There,” you said, your voice light but tinged with a hint of challenge. “Don’t lose it.”
Matt slipped his phone into his pocket, his gaze never leaving yours. “Oh, don’t worry. I won’t.”
For a moment, the noise of the reception faded, the two of you standing there like the only people in the room. And when you finally broke away to join the rest of the bridal party, you couldn’t help but glance back over your shoulder—only to find Matt still watching you, his smile soft and undeniably hopeful.
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A year later, the two of you sat on the couch in Matt’s apartment, a warm blanket draped over your legs as the soft glow of fairy lights lit the room. His arm rested around your shoulders, pulling you close while you balanced a photo album in your lap. The album was new, one you’d put together after months of sorting through photos from your sister’s wedding—the day that changed everything.
“That was such a good day,” you murmured, running your fingers over a photo of the bride and groom sharing their first dance.
Matt leaned over to peek at the page, his lips curving into a smile. “It was. Perfect weather, cold but perfect, great food, good music…” He paused, his voice dropping into that familiar playful tone. “And then there was this one bridesmaid who completely stole the show.”
You rolled your eyes, laughing as you flipped to the next page. “Oh, please. No one was looking at me when my sister was in that dress.”
“Wrong,” Matt said firmly, his voice soft but certain. He reached out, flipping the album back to a photo of you walking down the aisle with Justin. The crimson dress shimmered under the light, your smile radiant as you glanced at the crowd. “I couldn’t look away. You were the most stunning thing I’d ever seen.”
You felt your cheeks warm at the memory, nudging him lightly with your elbow. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
“Maybe,” he admitted, pulling you closer, “but it’s true. I mean, come on, our whole story started there. If that’s not the definition of a meet-cute, I don’t know what is.”
You grinned, flipping to a photo of the two of you on the dance floor later that night. Your hand was resting on his chest, his head tilted down toward you as you laughed at something he’d said. The moment looked so natural, so effortless, that it was hard to believe it had only been hours after meeting him.
“It was kind of magical, wasn’t it?” you said softly, your fingers tracing the edge of the photo. “I mean, weddings are always special, but that one…”
“Was fate,” Matt finished for you, his voice playful but sincere.
You laughed, shaking your head. “Fate? Really? You’re going full rom-com on me now?”
“Hey, if the shoe fits,” he teased, brushing a kiss against your temple. “Think about it. If my brother hadn’t walked you down the aisle, if you hadn’t gone to the bar at the exact moment I worked up the courage to talk to you… it all just lined up.”
“Okay, maybe it was fate,” you conceded with a smile, tilting your head to look up at him. “But you were so smooth that night, Matt. I still can’t believe you just handed me your phone and asked for my number.”
“Hey, I knew what I wanted,” he said with a shrug, leaning back with a smug grin. “And clearly, it worked out pretty well for me.”
You rolled your eyes again, though your smile softened as you turned the page to the final photo—a candid shot of the two of you at the reception. You were standing outside the venue, your arms wrapped around each other, laughing at some forgotten joke while snow fell softly in the background.
“That was my favorite moment,” you admitted quietly, your finger brushing over the photo. “It was freezing, and my heels were killing me, but I didn’t care. It was just… us.”
Matt leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “That was the moment I knew I didn’t want it to be just one night.”
You looked up at him, your smile warm and a little teasing. “Oh, you knew, huh? All because of a wedding?”
“All because of our wedding,” he corrected, his eyes sparkling as he pulled you closer. “The one we didn’t plan, but somehow turned out perfect anyway.”
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©luvoverdose
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪. cute idea, not sure i executed it exactly how i wanted but that’s ok. as soon as i saw the wedding photos of matt this idea popped into my head sooo i hope you guys enjoy
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