#little queer recipe book

[taosnipple]

Hey anon! Didn't post your message because it was transphobic and vile and you're a fucking weirdo for sending it!

The rest of this isn't for you or people like you.

Anyways hey friends, if you have a giant pot with a lid or a crock pot, you can make massive amounts of deeply nutritionally dense bone broth or vegetarian stock this fall! My go-to is a whole 12 pack of drumsticks that are on clearance, 2 small or one big onion (or one quart-size bag worth of scraps, you can use the roots and skins if you discard ones with too much dirt or rinse them before deep storage in a freezer,) 3 carrots, roughly chopped, mostly for color and earthy sweetness, and up to a whole head of garlic (roasting in the oven beforehand will pump up the flavor so hard and make any cold germs in your home weep in fear) put em in a pot with a bit of oil, do a few minutes of stirring and frying for the veggies to take on color, then add enough water to cover, pop on ur lid, bring to a low boil for 4-6 hours for ready-to-use strength, or 8-12 hours for concentrated gelatinous goodness (for either option pls check in on ur soup occasionally and stir/top off with water. You can add any powdered seasonings u want but bay leaf/onion/garlic/salt/pepper/ginger/cumin is my favorite blend, measure with ur heart!)

I like to get mayyyybe 60-80% of the fat off before storing because its so well seasoned and makes vegetables of any kind go so hard you'll never think about bioessentialism or heteronormativity ever again. Portion as much soup as you can stand into ice cube trays or other means of freezavle storage and squirrel it away for when you feel like shit and nothing will fix it, i PROMISE YOU good soup will at least help you find the first step. Season dish by dish as needed, i like making mugs of steamed egg with chili oil and soy sauce when i use my soup! The higher fat content also makes for a super satisfying mouthfeel if used for ramen (even instant!!!)

Obviously, if you're transphobic, this soup will magically turn into rat poison before you eat it. No way around that one. Suck it up. You'll never be able to enjoy a good soup the way someone too queer to see the boxes any one ingredient fits into can enjoy the experience of unity and wholeness. You'll never be cool. Do a kickflip lol.

[creativepromptsforwriting]

Can you maybe do some queer platonic relationship prompts? Like activities they can do together, either in their shared home or out in public. It can be a QPR with two people or more.

Queer Platonic Relationship Prompts

Supporting the other one through a difficult time, strengthening their bond

Going on an epic road trip to a place they both (or just one of them) desperately want to see/visit

Working together on achieving a shared dream

Doing a scrapbook together with lots of cool memories

Having a shared hobby they love doing together

Adopting a pet together and taking care of it

Cooking together and trying out new recipes

Doing craft projects for the house together

Playing games together, online and offline

Doing a little bookclub, reading the same book and discussing it

Working at their own garden together, growing their own food

Spending nights outside under the stars

- Jana

[schnuckiputz]

it takes a while, but one day, after the kids have graduated, eddie and steve pack their most precious things into eddie's van, and they leave. for months, they just drive from city to city, from state to state, go wherever it takes their fancy. until they find a little town surrounded by age-old trees and mountains, with unpredictable weather and more rain and fog than sunshine. but the pacific ocean isn't far, and if they leave early in the day, they can spend a few hours in san francisco's queer neighborhoods.

the town has a little old diner that's a bit run down but has good bones. so, steve and eddie combine their powers: steve knows how to take care of customers, has one of his nonnas old books with delicious cake recipes, and knows how to use it. eddie is a god in the kitchen and knows how to make money stretch. they are both charming, so pretty soon they have a few regulars and a steady stream of patrons.

included, are a group of high schoolers. and neither eddie nor steve know what happened to these kids, but they recognize the looks in their eyes. and they just can't help themselves, both like taking care of people a little bit too much, so they basically adopt this group of little ducklings, offer their time and ears in the hope of making the lives of these kids a little easier.

but the longer they stay, the more the town starts to feel a little...strange. there is something unsettling about the way the woods creak at night, how the shadows stretch at night. sometimes, after locking up the diner, steve lingers by the stairs that go up to their apartment and stares into the woods, and he knows something is looking back.

it comes to head a few months later. the ducklings stayed late at the diner, late enough that it's just them, when the thing that kept its eyes on steve steps out of the forest. for a second, everyone just stills before the kids spring into action. trying to barricade the diner doors.

steve and edddie share a resigned look, a touch, then separate. eddie goes for the high proof alcohol they keep in the kitchen, making molotov cocktails. steve gets the bat from under the counter. it's not the original, but mark ii is sturdier, a little bit deadlier. he tests his swing once, twice, then steps into the way of the first thing the crashes through a window and bats it right back out.

afterward, the diner is a burnt out shell, but everyone is alive. the kids are a little worse for wear, but steve knows this was probably not their first or second rodeo. steve and eddie keep the kids in sight but step around the van a little for some light thank-fuck-we-survived pda.

that's when a bunch of government cars arrive and out steps none other than owens. owens prioritizes the kids at first before movement catches his eyes. he stops, stares and then makes the kids loose their minds when he greets steve and eddie by name.

steve just pinches his nose and sighs. they should have known.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - It's 2024 & I'm talking about TayNew... really?

(They pretty much told us all to sit down and shut tf up, 'cause they got this. AND THEY DO.)

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Feb 2024 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube grey) ep 9 of 12 - I broke. In my defense, it was Monday, I needed comfort, and TayNew were right tf there. Ya know what? They are great in this show. It's a great adaptation. I might like it more than the JBL live action. You know why? Really, honestly WHY...?

That was a PHENOMENAL KISS. Those boys did Thailand fucking proud. They did fandom a solid. Thank you OGs for reminding us how it's done. I was getting used to SloppyHot. And SloppyHot has its place, but that TayNew rooftop kiss was a top tear class act. It was tender and sweet and respectful and joyful. It was eye work and breath work and years of practice. How very far BL has come while still staying so much the same. TayNew - I salute you!

(Read all about distribution issues here.)

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 12fin - we waiting, I guess? Bah.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 11 of 12 - The recipe book thing was so damn cute and I love a claiming. YOU KNOW I LOVE A CLAIMING!

In fact, I love OffGun.

I love food based BL.

I adored seeing a reboot of "the infamous dragging". 

But I don’t love anything else about this show. Sigh.

1000 Years Old ep 1 of 12 - Finally we get our gay vampire BL from Feel Good Bangkok. Stars Shane (My Engineer) and fresh face Opal, directed by Champ (2gether). It’s kind of odd but enjoyable. A group of teen UFO seekers find a vampire instead. Opal looks a bit like a mix between Newnu + Leo (VIXX) - so cute + edge. Also, nice to see Shane again on our screens after so long. 

Finally, I like the subtle (and sometimes not subtle) presence of ghosts permeating this show. Do the friends know she's there? Do they know she's dead? Is the existence of paranormal accepted but not that of aliens? Or are the two combined? Is this lazy writing or just fun world building? Who cares! It's enjoyable.

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 12fin - the nail painting bit was very cutie queers and I've not seen it done in BL before, so that was nice. For some reason captions never dropped for me on this last episode, but it didn’t really matter. Not much happened and I understood everything anyway.

Quick pitch?

From the people who brought us Unforgotten Night based on a y-novel, about a young man nursing a heartbreak who has a one-night stand, but the other boy didn't want it to end. This turned out to be a pulp that wasn’t half as good as it should have been and even less memorable, but not terrible. 5/10 DON'T BOTHER unless you're v bored

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 3 of 12 - Oh it is such a pulp: the acting is not good and the script is terrible. Of course, I’m mildly enjoying it. Very good dream kissing. There's something appealing about these main characters - I think it's the moot crushes. We rarely get to see that. These days everything feels very one sided, this... isn't.

A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV) - Khonprot, a third-year hazer of the engineering faculty, has a secret crush on Pluem, a tsundere fourth-year head hazer. Over the years, he's seen Pluem cycle through girlfriends. Recently, after a public breakup, however, Khonprot thinks maybe a boy has a chance.

I tried but I can't get into my WeTV account anymore and I'm way too lazy to figure it out. I'll catch it grey if I can, since I've rebooted the bootlegging side of my BL life for Cherry Magic anyway.

So this show may stay in this section, or I may bump it down to "it's airing but..."

If anyone is watching it, let me know if it's good?

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Love For Love's Sake (Korea Weds iQIYI) 7-8fin - Ugh it was GREAT, despite some pretty telling flaws. I ended up feeling like some of the filming was amateurish (very overworked low angles - director's first feature, I assume), and the narrative is a little disjoined and on the nose, AND the subs are clumsy (which I don't expect from KBL) BUT I still loved it. (FYI - I wouldn't be so harsh on a BL for this kinda thing except one from Korea.)

Quick pitch:

This isekai-based KBL is about a man who must win a game by convincing a reserved teen outcast to fall in love with him. Of course, that teen represents himself and his own unhappiness. Like many queer narratives, this show is actually about self worth, trust, and found family, and it is VERY on the nose. But I don’t expect subtlety from my BL and I enjoyed it's truly lovely redemption arc and earnest performances. While I found the narrative a touch disjointed with overworked filming angles and poorer than average captions, this is certainly much better than early KBL in terms of consistency of tone, script, and immersion. Highly rewatchable and charming, which counts for a lot. 9/10

Trigger warning for suicide depicted.

Perfect Propose (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - Gosh, it’s so lovely. But I do just constantly want to give them both hugs. 

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Oh look, Taiwan has created yet another BL where I spend most of the time watching it grinning like an idiot. Surprise surprise. The pet name thing was fucking adorable. Also Taiwan once more proving they come by their "kings of kissing" title honestly. I mean to say. In a week of good kisses this one was just... WOW.

On the other hand, some of the underpinning themes are starting to v worry me (ownership, consent, age), and we only just got started, and I don't trust this production company so... I have concerns.

But also... YAY KISSES!

(I'm made of weak moral fiber.)

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - Like many other shows on this list. I just enjoy it the most when the two leads are on screen together. So this episode was kind of lacking because they were apart for most of it. I also am starting to agree with the tone of the plot, that maybe they ARE better off as friends not lovers. (And I'm sure I'm not supposed to want that.) Oh Japan, must you?

My Strawberry Film (Japan Gaga) ep 1 of 8 - Oh it’s good. In the arthouse lane so don’t expect sweetness & light or an HEA. If there’s no cartoon aspect to a JBL, there’s usually no joy. But it is certainly good. Teens uncover some old film and a mystery around a pretty girl. The background music is wildly annoying (and rarely in the background). 

It's Done

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam, it's on YouTube. I will give it a try when I have a window of time.

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - A Burmese BL? @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) - Gave me Luminous Solution vibes have decided not to watch.

It's Airing But...

Dead Friend Forever (Thai iQIYI) - rumors are it's interesting. I'm waiting to know how it ends.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - dropped it at ep 4.

Next Week Looks Like This:

2/24 Unknown (Taiwan Youku) 12 eps - Older brother tough guy breadwinner looks after his sister and defacto adopted little brother. Little bother falls in love with him and is sent away after a stolen kiss. But when he comes back…

Sam Lin has a cameo so even if I wasn't already excited, I'm in. We should be on our guard though, Taiwan will occasionally go edgy, dark, and sad... this could go there.

One assumes GMMTV is filling in the BL time slot with something queer on their YT Channel after Cooking Crush ends, they gonna lose subs if they don't. But I've not been paying attention to the chatter so I don't know which of their line-up it will be. I think G4 are filming/off radar now, and Earth is in that het noona thing? Plus they gotta sort out the IP for MIx-Up and Ossen. So it won't be one of the announced adaptations. They'll hold My Golden Blood for the high season, so I think it'll be one of the lesser known lead-outs. Wandee or Only Boo maybe? But they only just started filming those. Are we getting our long awaited GL? Anything else left from 2023 that I forgot about?

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Two crawling kisses from Thailand this week. Now this is a fetish I didn't know I had. Turns out, we love this one! (*waves hand in air* I speak for all of us now.)

Cooking Crush

City of Stars

Possibly the best tsundere to cinnamon roll pivot we've had in a long time.

Also the best asshole to KING pivot. Could we have a whole drama staring this character now? Please?

And finally our sunshine learning to love himself.

SIGH. what a lovely show.

And a good SMILEY kiss from a KBL.

And then some cute cuddles? Korea is spoiling me these days. I'm catching expectations now. What's next? Japan learns to kiss in their light BLs? Ha! I kill me.

(All Love for Love's Sake).

(Last week)

[theresattrpgforthat]

Hi, I'm looking for a TTRPG mostly about romance that isn't just for 2 players. I know Thirsty Sword Lesbians exists but I was wondering what else is out there?

THEME: Romance

Hello friend! Here's a few games that are about romance in one way or another. You might also want to check out my Make it Gay post if you are looking for specifically queer romance stories.

The Love Balloon, by Mythworks. The Love Balloon is a light roleplaying story game for 2-6 players inspired by the wholesome yet innuendo-laden sitcoms of the late 70’s and early 80’s - shows like The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, and Three’s Company.  

No other ship has sailed the winds more than the magnificent Cloud Nine. Welcome at any port, its guests - from Kings and Presidents, to Celebrities and Athletes, Dentists and even Stowaways  -  all have attested to the ship's magical voyages of the heart.  Come book your stay today and experience what it's like to float your troubles away!

This is a GM-less game that is meant to replicate a sitcom, with six characters to be controlled by the table. There are some guidelines as to the kinds of characters that will be present in this sitcom; part of the story has already been built for you. The details of each character are still up to you, and who falls in love with who is tied to both character choice and roll of the dice. Each day on the float will see characters run into each-other and engage in minor adventures, romantic escapades, and interpersonal conflict.

This game is less of an immersive experience and feels more like you as the table are a writers room, figuring out the plot of a sitcom. There are roll tables for the crew member and the guests involved in the plot, as well as for port of calls and hi-jinx. This is a great game for folks who want to deal with romantic themes at a comfortable distance, as well as folks that like a game with more light-hearted themes. There’s a lot of structure to The Love Balloon, similar to a recipe for a sitcom episode, so if you want heavy drama or spontaneity, then you might want to look somewhere else.

The Rain Still Falls In My Heart, by Roz.

The Rain Still Falls in my Heart is a one page table-top roleplaying game about messy high school relationships and purple prose; it's a game about girls and lesbians of all genders. Nothing is straight forward at this school; everyone has a secret and a past, and nobody knows how to talk about their true feelings.

This is for all of the fanfic writers out there. You are all students in a girls school, and you’re all lesbians. This is a game about complicated backstories, poetic infatuation, and overreactions. When something terrible happens, you will flip a coin to see whether you compose yourself or be honest. I love the options for Compose Yourself. You either keep your cool (and make her think that you don’t even care) or overreact (and lose your cool, break something, or run away).

If you want a simple game that embodies the most dramatic elements of shoujo anime, this might be the game for you. If you want a game where you roll dice, or a game with more complex character creation, you might need to look somewhere else.

Grave Liaisons, by Yugie.

Grave Liasons is a PvP roleplaying game powered by chocolate where you play as nosy ghosts trying to ensure that their descendants get matched with the perfect partner (according to them).

While playing, players take on the roles of SPIRITS, who are trying to ensure or prevent a match, and DESCENDANTS, who are just normal people looking for love. 

This is a funky little game that uses chocolates to represent your ability to influence the world around you. Each player is both a nosy ghost and the descendant of someone else. As ghosts, they will meddle in the affairs of their descendants, in the hopes of providing a suitable match. Your chocolates represent your spooky powers, which are undefined in the game, so you’ll have to come up with them yourself. One of my favourite rules is for what to do when you run out of chocolate hearts - you can hold onto someone else’s chocolate and tell them “I’ve stolen your heart” in the most romantic voice you have, and then it belongs to you!

Thunder in our Hearts, by Card Zero Press.

YOU are a member of a wedding party about to pull off THE BEST WEDDING EVER. You and your friends in the party are under the impression that you only have 24 HOURS left to make sure everything goes smoothly - 12 to finalize your preparation, and 12 to pull off the ceremony and reception. 

You and your friends are wrong. 

You are about to find yourselves trapped in a loop of those same 24 hours, living and reliving them as many times as it takes to identify every complication, refine the wedding, and get it right. No one besides you will remember the previous loops as clear as day, but make a strong enough impression on someone in one loop and it might carry to the next. What you do here matters. What you do here has to matter, if you ever want your friends to get married and stay that way. 

This basically a heist game but instead of pulling of a heist, you’re pulling off a wedding. Throughout the 24 hour time loop, you’ll have to deal with unruly guests, unforeseen hazards, and your own feelings about your two friends getting married. I don’t think this game is specifically about your characters’ romantic prospects, but rather your characters rallying together to make your friends happy. If you want a fresh take on a tried-and-true genre, this might be the game for you.

Second-hand Love, by DarkerLarper.

The ship of your dreams glides over the pelagic water, just to you. It beckons, This mysterious figure known only as the Captain is looking to find their right hand. 

Compete against your fellow players for the chance at the Captain's booty er… love. 

Or if the bachelor was about pirates 

Second-Hand Love is a game centred on relationships and building connections to gain favor. It is designed for 4-6 players, and it looks great for campy, dramatic stories. This is a game that has room for PVP, sexual interactions, and romance galore, although you can certainly customize it to fit whatever boundaries you have at the table. If you want a game that’s all about love and profit, if you want full spicy drama and plenty of chances to work both with and against your fellow players, you should check this game out.

Games I've Recommended in the Past

Eyes on the Prize, by ira prince.

Le Bon Ton, by RobotFrancis.

[swifty-fox]

can you please do a list of recs of your favorite books?

just saw @stereobone's rec list which is that of a deep intellectual.

You will not be getting that here I fear.

Evening Crowd at Kirmsers by Ricardo Brown was a huge inspiration for Kfak and Plane Crash and just in general is such a good look into 1940's gay life

An Olive Grove at the Edge of the World by Jared Gulian is a little autobiography about this gay couple who buy an olive grove in NZ and proceed to have no idea how to run it. My all time comfort read. It's pure shenanigans, feel good stories, and quite a few really yummy recipes. He's also just SUCH a sweet man I've emailed him a couple of times.

The Haar by David Sodergren is about an old woman who's being forced out of her home falling in love with an amorphous murderous blob that looks like her husband and together they kill a lot of people. Takes place in Scotland and this is relevant.

Drawing Blood by Poppy Z Brite Drugs! Coffee!! The ghost of your families sordid past! Also some gay sex. The summary really does it more justice than I can.

In the house on Violin Road he found the bodies of his brother, his mother, and the man who killed them both—his father. From the house on Violin Road, in Missing Mile, North Carolina, Trevor McGee ran for his sanity and his soul, after his famous cartoonist father had exploded inexplicably into murder and suicide. Now Trevor is back.

In the company of a New Orleans computer hacker on the run from the law, Trevor has returned to face the ghosts that still live on Violin Road, to find the demons that drove his father to murder his family—and worse, to spare one of his sons. . . . But as Trevor begins to draw his own cartoon strip, he loses himself in a haze of lines and art and thoughts of the past, the haunting begins. Trevor and his lover plunge into a cyber-maze of cartoons, ghosts, and terror that will lead either to understanding—true understanding—or to a blood-raining repetition of the past. . . . 

pure 90's splatterpunk queer insanity. This is one of his tamest books.

Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z Brite. Have you ever wondered what would happen if Jeffrey Dahmer and Dennis Nilsen fell in love and they killed about it? Probably not but someone did and this book is so beyond not for the faint of heart and I love it to bits

Vasily Grossman and the Soviet Century by Alexandra Popoff biography of the author of Life and Fate (which I have not read) I just think he's a neat guy and its a great lense with which to look at russian history

[yvesdot]

SOMETHING'S NOT RIGHT IS AVAILABLE TO PREORDER!

The debut collection returns in a special fifth anniversary edition, repackaged with three new short stories, a new cover, and additional bonus content. A vampire is forced into a compromising situation; a father fears his child's growing plant collection; the undead go to high school; a butcher contemplates whether or not she can be loved. In a captivating debut, yves. opens the door to our world, slightly askew-- a world where the crows work for witches and the telephone booths serve as secret channels for prophecy; a world where a diverse cast of monsters and humans alike are forced to contend with what the world believes is right.

Something's Not Right, described by GoodReads reviewers as "delicious," "expertly crafted," and "relentlessly queer," may be releasing in a week on October 10, 2023... but did you know you can preorder digital copies on Amazon and itch.io right now? As for physical, you can now preorder SIGNED copies from Bookshop Santa Cruz! There's a virtual launch party day of, an in-person book talk that Thursday (the 12th), and all sorts of surprises to come. (And if you can't afford a copy, ARCs are available for request up to release!)

To celebrate, we're having a little blog tour across several beloved writeblrs, each of whom have their own contributions. I'm so excited to be able to geek out over their posts in public!!

Posting schedule:

October 4th - Emma @lazarusemma (moodboard)

October 5th - Rook @peppermintlark (recipes)

October 6th - Piya @onomatopiya (top 5 stories)

October 7th - שבת קודש

October 8th - Max @goose-books (fan presentation)

October 9th - Yah Yah @fluoresensitive (playlist)

Thank you so much to everyone who volunteered! An extra special thank you to Emma @lazarusemma and Rook @peppermintlark specifically, as they were pinch hitters and rather than signing up they merely, so to speak, had greatness thrust upon them. Please send them many chocolates.

It's a magical world out there, Dear Readers—let's go on tour!

[mycupofstars]

Getting to Know Us

Thank you @shipsnsails

Last Song: Danse des sauvages from Rameau's Les Indes galantes, performed by Daniel Hope, I adore this piece it is so cunty like this is a Lestat piece

Favorite Color: Deep moody shades of green like this

Last Book: The House of Whispers by Laura Purcell which was atmospheric but fucking depressing + a quick reread of Starve Acre by Andrew Michael Hurley for book club.

Last movie: The Vourdalak A+ A+ A+ moody artsy fully-committed-to-the-bit queer French gothic just drenched in vintage vibes

Last TV show: I have been sick which means rewatching old peak era SVU for the 5000th time

Sweet/spicy/savory: Gojuchang (my beloved) says I am here to fulfill all of these

Last Thing I googled: Pumpkin mochi dessert recipes

Current obsession: Working my way through Laura Purcell's books since my book club did The Silent Companions. This woman loves a messy unrepentant fucked up protagonist and so do I

Looking forward to: Heretic, love Hugh Grant in his villain era. Cooking for Thanksgiving + a staycation for the holiday. Brunch with Del today at our favorite little tea cafe. I am both excited for and sad for getting near the end of Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell.

Tagging: @lena221bee @stereomike @bilestat @spookylestat @bookgeekgrrl @persepinas @onionowlwatchingu @theseancequeen @toddisawarlock @harlequinlestat @sewersoul @mathcat345 @ravensknowledge @ahundredbutterflies @bespokecats @dream-boat-annie

I hate tagging people bc I'm always leaving out like 500 beloveds so please mutuals do this!

[wildmousesword]

What I think the LU boys Pinterest feed would look like:

Sky:

•Birds

•Cute things to buy for a loved one

• Bracelets (idk why I feel like he’s a bracelet guy)

Four:

•DIY things (all of them include moss and he’s never made any of them just wished)

•Books u should read (obv Vio needs his books)

•Anger Management exercises (we all know who this is for)

•Cute things to make for ur friends (Reds love language is gifts all the way)

Time:

• The boys had to make an account for him has never used it since

Twilight:

•Cats

•dogs

•horses

•that’s it just those three

Wind:

•cool ships (be didn’t get what he was searching for)

•memes (obv the most 2 year old ass memes like skibidi toilet or whatever)

Legend:

•gay memes

•how to dress queer

•homosexual jokes

•I’m gay

Hyrule:

•”why doesn’t this din darn cave have wifi”

• If he did have wifi his feed would be little nooks and cranny decorated for fairy’s and little guys like making small rooms and decorating them like a tree house

Warriors:

•how to flirt 101

•pick up lines

•how to have rizz

•cool hair

•cool scarfs

Wild:

•cooking recipes

•flowers

•surprisingly peaceful until u scroll down for like a minute and u start seeing things u wish u could un see

[violet-hearth]

Magical Note Keeping ...

Happy Friday! 

Today I wanted to take a step back and talk about information keeping, i.e. grimoires and journals. This will be a mostly beginner focussed post, however if you are a regular practitioner who has been feeling stuck or stagnant, I hope this can give you a little motivation to find new ways to view your practice. 

Magic is a personal and experimental practice. Information keeping - whether this be general witchcraft knowledge or the specifics spells you are doing is an important practice to keep. If you do not keep records, how will you know what has worked and what hasn’t? 

NOTE: I do not practise Wicca and therefore do not feel comfortable talking about the practice of a ‘book of shadows’ but use whatever terminology and definitions feel most comfortable to you 

A grimoire is generally understood as being a journal or spell book documenting your magical “workings, musings, inspirations, and ideas” (Queering Your Craft). It is a solely personal record that can be customised to how you work best - whether this is through several themed notebooks, using apps like notion to create a wiki-style database, or through keeping an ‘everything journal’ that is a combination of information, spellwork, and journaling.

Regardless of what you call it I highly recommend keeping a research notebook or journal where you can record your thoughts, notes and reflections on the books you are reading.

I personally use a combination of a 46 pocket notebook where I journal, take notes, keep my shopping lists, write about spells, and record my tarot and carromancy readings, as well as other more specialised notebooks and digital note taking apps. You can personalise your system of information keeping however you like, but if you feel stuck here are some formats and ideas to try out: 

Junk journaling or scrapbooking: create collages for manifestations, paste in printed and handwritten spells, utilise art magic 

Create a ‘cook book’ of spells, recipes, and your favourite dishes for a more kitchen and hearth notebook 

Work in a sketchbook and create a more visual notebook whether this is similar to the junk journal or through sketching and painting plants and step by step recipe comics 

Use a binder or folder to keep all your note and spells organised 

Use notion or obsidian to create a ‘wiki’ of all your information and spell tracking 

Create a reference book of associations, spells, and rituals

Record your walks in a nature journal (this can be for both rural and urban), take note of plants in the pavement, trees, birds, animals, people, the weather

A Note from ‘Queer Your Craft’ by Cassandra Snow:

“Queer community has always been drawn to personal accounts and the written word, and these can be a fantastically witchy way to own and tell your own story as you move through it. Sure, you can decorate it to look more queer or personal and include explicity queer stories and spells, and I recommend all of those things. It's also worth noting that recording your own triumphs and pitfalls and chronicling your own journey towards liberation (not to mention that of any movements you're a part of) is a badass move all its own.”

In my personal practice and experience, art and writing are powerful tools of expression whilst also a way of reflecting on and healing from things of our past. As Juliet Diaz notes in ‘The Altar Within’ (which I would HIGHLY recommend!):

“Reflection is a powerful tool. From scanning your day to addressing lingering things, reflection helps us understand our lives and the lives of those around us. If we don’t reflect, our minds will try to make sense of life in their own way, causing more noise in our heads.” 

Juliet Diaz recommends setting time aside each day to unwind, make yourself a cult of tea, and spend 10-15 minutes a day with your journal. When we come to witchcraft from the perspective of being from minority groups and poverty, we carry a lot of shame, worry, and stress. Journaling often helps us process this. The goal isn’t to live the ‘love and light’ new age mindset (in fact I urge you to avoid it entirely) but to be self aware, and to be reflective of our feelings and our practice. 

Whilst Juliet Diaz recommends stream of consciousness to help you clear your mind, if you wish for more formalised reflections techniques I suggest Gibbs Reflective Cycle to help you look back on past experiences. I find having a structure useful on days when I am overwhelmed or processing larger events and can be used for spell work, rituals, or your everyday journaling. 

Journaling and record keeping are both important parts of developing a magical practice. They aren’t required, but can be helpful tools to keep things in order. No matter what format (if any) you use to keep track of your craft, take a deep breath and remember it doesn’t have to be perfect. Be kind to yourself and use whatever tools are comfortable to you. 

Sources:

Queering Your Craft by Cassandra Snow 

Sacred Sex: The Magick and Path of the Divine Erotic by Gabriela Herstik

The Altar Within by Juliet Diaz 

Witchery by Juliet Diaz

[youtube video] Putting the "Craft" in Witchcraft with Marshall Witch of Southern Light by The Witch of Wonderlust 

[youtube video] ROCK your Grimoire! Sacred If You Make It So: BOS Love [Tour],Tips & Prompts by Molly Roberts

[lazywitchling]

Review: The House Witch by Arin Murphy-Hiscock

3.5/10 - This could have been a zine. As it stands, I was not the target audience for this book.

Maybe I'm just being mean since I read this one directly after Queering Your Craft, but my goodness I don't think I was the target audience for this one. I am cis-adjacent girl-not-woman, single, living at home with my highly conservative christian parents, and keep my craft in the closet. This book is for a cis-woman who is probably married, runs a household, has a couple of children, and is the spiritual-head-of-household who teaches the kids to say their prayers to the abstract Divine every night before they turn on their essential oil humidifier for bedtime.

It sure would be lovely to live in the world that Arin does, where I could consult with the other family members about their particular Spiritual Beliefs (TM) and integrate those into an Altar in the kitchen where we all make our offerings and say our prayers to the household spirits, but that is not the world I live in. If I tried to start that conversation at home, I'd very quickly wind up with a very aggressive visit from the local pastor who spoke at a rally for 45. Thanks, Arin, but I'm... gonna skip the build-an-altar-in-your-kitchen-and-invite-your-family-to-participate step.

So here's the thing. (And I'm starting to notice that this is a pattern with a lot of the witch books I read...) I would probably have loved this book if it were more of a personal memoir than a How To Witch 101 guide. And I get the feeling that this was more of a problem with publishing than with the author. I mean I could practically feel Arin bursting at the book-seams to tell me about how she practices her witchcraft spirituality in her home, but instead she's stuck trying to write about Hearthcraft (TM) as if it's a universal thing, since that's what's easiest to sell. The whole book feels like it's formatted and marketed to be a Witchcraft 101 book, but it doesn't do it well at all. In fact, in the beginning of the book, Arin practically scolds the reader by saying 'this is a spiritual path, not a magic one, and if you want a magic one, go get a book about magic.' Like... Arin, honey, your book is called The House Witch. I thought I was reading a book about witchcraft.

Furthermore, it feels like this book is filled up with a whole lot of pillow fluff to fill in the gaps. Did we need a whole chapter of cauldron mythology that we never ended up tying into anything else in the book? Did we need that? It seems like there's a lot of stuff in this book that was just put in for a page count; something to make the book seem like it has the wide-appeal of a Witchcraft 101 book. But it just came across as... idk, not genuine.

I just keep coming back to how much I would have loved to hear about Arin's own personal practice that she's so clearly passionate about!

Hey, but also... this book was an organizational mess. Why was the cookie recipe in the chapter with the cauldron lore instead of in the recipe chapter? Why were the instructions on making a clay figure of a household spirit in the chapter with the imaginary altar instead of in with the chapter on household spirits, or the chapter on crafts? Why was there a section on ethics sandwiched in between a section about talking to a tree spirit and a section about talking to a blender spirit, instead of in with the cooking chapter when we actually referenced ethics?

-sigh-

Look, while there wasn't really anything in this book that made me go "Oh wow that's a great idea, I need to use that!" there were a few sections that made me say "Hey, that particular thing is not of use to me, but the idea behind it absolutely is, and I should look into that." Which, once again, comes back to how much I wish this book was a personal memoir. Finding the little nuggets of information that told me what Arin does and how and why were so much more useful than the vague-and-generic step-by-step instructions of... whatever the instructions were for.

BTW, I read through this whole book, and I still am not sure of the definition of "spiritual" nor of "hearth" that we were using. I never did figure out if "hearth" meant "fireplace" or "center of the home" or "kitchen" or what.

Ultimately I came out of the book more confused than I was going in. It's not the worst witch book I've read -- [waves to Skye Alexander] -- and I did get at least some things out of it that I can ponder on my own. But man... idk what that book was for. I'm tired. I'm going to bed.

[harker-jonathan]

3 May. Bistritz. —Left Munich at 8:35 P. M, on 1st May, arriving at Vienna early next morning; should have arrived at 6:46, but train was an hour late. Buda-Pesth seems a wonderful place, from the glimpse which I got of it from the train and the little I could walk through the streets. I feared to go very far from the station, as we had arrived late and would start as near the correct time as possible.

The impression I had was that we were leaving the West and entering the East; the most western of splendid bridges over the Danube, which is here of noble width and depth, took us among the traditions of Turkish rule.

We left in pretty good time, and came after nightfall to Klausenburgh. Here I stopped for the night at the Hotel Royale. I had for dinner, or rather supper, a chicken done up some way with red pepper, which was very good but thirsty. (Mem. get recipe for Mina.) I asked the waiter, and he said it was called “paprika hendl,” and that, as it was a national dish, I should be able to get it anywhere along the Carpathians.

I found my smattering of German very useful here, indeed, I don’t know how I should be able to get on without it.

Having had some time at my disposal when in London, I had visited the British Museum, and made search among the books and maps in the library regarding Transylvania; it had struck me that some foreknowledge of the country could hardly fail to have some importance in dealing with a nobleman of that country.

I find that the district he named is in the extreme east of the country, just on the borders of three states, Transylvania, Moldavia, and Bukovina, in the midst of the Carpathian mountains; one of the wildest and least known portions of Europe.

I was not able to light on any map or work giving the exact locality of the Castle Dracula, as there are no maps of this country as yet to compare with our own Ordance Survey Maps; but I found that Bistritz, the post town named by Count Dracula, is a fairly well-known place. I shall enter here some of my notes, as they may refresh my memory when I talk over my travels with Mina.

In the population of Transylvania there are four distinct nationalities: Saxons in the South, and mixed with them the Wallachs, who are the descendants of the Dacians; Magyars in the West, and Szekelys in the East and North. I am going among the latter, who claim to be descended from Attila and the Huns. This may be so, for when the Magyars conquered the country in the eleventh century they found the Huns settled in it.

I read that every known superstition in the world is gathered into the horseshoe of the Carpathians, as if it were the centre of some sort of imaginative whirlpool; if so my stay may be very interesting. (Mem., I must ask the Count all about them.)

I did not sleep well, though my bed was comfortable enough, for I had all sorts of queer dreams. There was a dog howling all night under my window, which may have had something to do with it; or it may have been the paprika, for I had to drink up all the water in my carafe, and was still thirsty. Towards morning I slept and was wakened by the continuous knocking at my door, so I guess I must have been sleeping soundly then.

I had for breakfast more paprika, and a sort of porridge of maize flour which they said was “mamaliga”, and egg-plant stuffed with forcemeat, a very excellent dish, which they call “impletata”. (Mem.,get recipe for this also.)

I had to hurry breakfast, for the train started a little before eight, or rather it ought to have done so, for after rushing to the station at 7:30 I had to sit in the carriage for more than an hour before we began to move.

It seems to me that the further east you go the more unpunctual are the trains. What ought they to be in China?

All day long we seemed to dawdle through a country which was full of beauty of every kind. Sometimes we saw little towns or castles on the top of steep hills such as we see in old missals; sometimes we ran by rivers and streams which seemed from the wide stony margin on each side of them to be subject ot great floods. It takes a lot of water, and running strong, to sweep the outside edge of a river clear.

At every station there were groups of people, sometimes crowds, and in all sorts of attire. Some of them were just like the peasants at home or those I saw coming through France and Germany, with short jackets, and round hats, and home-made trousers; but others were very picturesque.

The women looked pretty, except when you got near them, but they were very clumsy about the waist. They had all full white sleeves of some kind or other, and most of them had big belts with a lot of strips of something fluttering from them like the dresses in a ballet, but of course there were petticoats under them.

The strangest figures we saw were the Slovaks, who were more barbarian than the rest, with their big cow-boy hats, great baggy dirty-white trousers, white linen shirts, and enormous heavy leather belts, nearly a foot wide, all studded over with brass nails. They wore high boots, with their trousers tucked into them, and had long black hair and heavy black moustaches. They are very picturesque, but do not look prepossessing. On the stage they would be set down at once as some old Oriental band of brigands. They are, however, I am told, very harmless and rather wanting in natural self-assertion.

It was on the dark side of twilight when we got to Bistritz, which is a very interesting old place. Being practically on the frontier–for the Borgo Pass leads from it into Bukovina–it has had a very stormy existence, and it certainly shows marks of it. Fifty years ago a series of great fires took place, which made terrible havoc on five separate occasions. At the very beginning of the seventeenth century it underwent a siege of three weeks and lost 13,000 people, the casualties of war proper being assisted by famine and disease.

Count Dracula had directed me to go to the Golden Krone Hotel, which I found, to my great delight, to be thoroughly old-fashioned, for of course I wanted to see all I could of the ways of the country.

I was evidently expected, for when I got near the door I faced a cheery-looking elderly woman in the usual peasant dress—white undergarment with a long double apron, front, and back, of coloured stuff fitting almost too tight for modesty. When I came close she bowed and said, “The Herr Englishman?”

“Yes,” I said, “Jonathan Harker.”

She smiled, and gave some message to an elderly man in white shirt-sleeves, who had followed her to the door.

He went, but immediately returned with a letter:

“My friend.–Welcome to the Carpathians. I am anxiously expecting you. Sleep well tonight. At three tomorrow the diligence will start for Bukovina; a place on it is kept for you. At the Borgo Pass my carriage will await you and will bring you to me. I trust that your journey from London has been a happy one, and that you will enjoy your stay in my beautiful land.–Your friend, Dracula.”

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas :)

im not sure this is me asking for advice because i don’t think there’s really a recipe for getting over someone but i just need to rant into the void

so there’s this girl. let’s call her lucy. we went to the same high school but never really met. she was a year older and one of those “popular” girls i guess, so we never really crossed paths, but we knew about each other. she was one of those girls who made the room brighter just by being in it. like calling her gorgeous is an understatement. and she was always super kind to everyone. like all the boys in school had a crush on her at some point.

so fast forward a bit, first year of uni. i moved into a big city and enrolled into the same university as lucy’s best friend. let’s call her cathy (lucy lives in a different city about 4 hours from us). cathy and i quickly become really close and of course she starts mentioning lucy a lot. she also talks about me to lucy. cathy starts telling me how we should definitely hang out, how we have so much in common and how lucy would love to get to know me (we both loved taylor swift read the same books etc) but as we lived in different cities it was kinda hard to arrange. quickly we developed this kind of weird parasocial relationship through cathy. like lucy would tell cathy to ask my opinion on something, she would send cathy voicemails to forward to me when she wanted to discuss something, she also invited me to a harry styles concert but i was busy so i couldn’t go and so on. i should maybe point out that she didn’t really use social media so that’s why she didn’t dm me or something.

at one point i discover that lucy is a lesbian. cathy never really mentions it but it becomes quite obvious from some stories. and at this point, i kinda start crushing really hard. my little lesbian heart is only so strong and here’s this drop dead gorgeous girl who is so amazing and we have so much in common and god what is a girl to do.

i learn that lucy has a girlfriend and get kinda sad but can’t really complain so i try to get over my little crush and move on. however, one day lucy deletes all pictures with her gf from instagram she briefly had. a few weeks later she messages me and tells me she wants to visit me and cathy, and that there’s this big 1989 tv release party in the city i live in and she would love for us to go together. i’m of course smiling into my pillow.

so she comes in october for the party. this is our first time officially hanging out. and god, we have the best night ever. nothing explicitly romantic happens, but we just have so much fun. we go out for drinks and talk and then we go to this party and dance and drink and have the time of our life. and at this point i’m really thinking about this as a date, because we’re both queer and she hugs me and holds my hand and we actually cuddle in front of the club. and then. it’s really late and we’re both kinda drunk and want to go home so she calls her ex (?) to pick us up. i agree as i’m pretty tired but i’m also so confused as i have no idea what’s going on here. anyways, the night ends and we have brunch tomorrow and talk about how we had a great night, but don’t mention anything else.

long story short, she gets back together with her girlfriend and kinda stops contacting me as frequently, but half a year later, i’m still hung up on a girl i literally spent 24 hours with. and sure, i’m interested in other girls, have other crushes i guess, but somehow my mind always comes back to her. the reason i’m writing this today is because i haven’t listend to taylor in a while, but ttpd came out and suddenly i hear her in every song and she still told cathy to ask me my favourite song as soon as it came out. and she still talks about wanting to visit me and god i want to just move on so bad. but i know i’m gonna text her as soon as another party comes up when we’re both free. and it’s just gonna be the same thing over again.

Hi! <3

damn, this is...this sounds so difficult.

Honestly? I think Lucy needs to make up her mind. It sounds like she's trying to have her cake and eat it too by being with her girlfriend and flirting with you, and either she doesn't know what she's doing (which isn't great, but it happens) or she's not thinking about anyone else's feelings (which is worse).

I know it is so easy to get hung up on someone like this- there's like...such a fun aspect of a romance like this where it's drawn-out and a bit forbidden and kind of dramatic. But the problem with something like this is it hardly ever ends well and you deserve someone who wants you wholly.

Of course, this is all easy for me to say, as I'm not the one to experience it. But I think if I were you, I would take this album release as an opportunity to think about what you deserve and how you can use the songs to process your feelings. Because the important thing is, you deserve more, and you're not getting it, whether it's on purpose or not.

<3 <3 <3 <3 Sending you all the love!

Also, naming you deserving anon in case you want to update/write back!

[elizmanderson]

2024 wrap-up, part 2

part one | part three | part four

this year has been much better than last for reading! I did notice last year as I reviewed my reads that I wasn't reading a huge diversity of authors. so while I never set numbers-based goals for my reading, I did set the goal this year to make sure at least 50% of my reads were books by authors of color

I had SO MANY BOOKS by authors of color on my TBR already and even owned many of them, so I made sure to prioritize those books this year. and it was easy to hit 50% by making sure that any book I read by a white author was followed by an author of color (although I made a spreadsheet in November to make sure I was still on track). I'm a mood reader, but these books cover so many different genres that it was easy to diversify my reading once I prioritized that

another thing I tried this year but was less successful at was to prioritize reading in general by deciding to read one book a weekend

(this probably wouldn't work for a 500+ page book, but I have so little energy for such books anymore even though Lowercase E adored them)

the year started off strong with books finished in a single sitting on a Saturday morning/afternoon. but once April hit, my year got busier and I sort of never recovered

overall, however, I did read more consistently than I did in the last two years. while I don't have numbers for the last two years, so far this year I've read 37 books, which I'm 82% sure beats either 2022 or 2023 (which is nice even if I don't make numbers goals anymore)

top reads of 2024

The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson

not my usual genre (horror/dark fantasy), but a friend was clearing out her shelves a couple years back and the cover grabbed me. this was my first read of the year and is STILL one of my tops reads. holy shit it was so good. the worldbuilding was really cool, the book had a Gothic feeling that I always love (if I read horror, I usually reach for Gothic before other subgenres), the romance was just SO well done. partway through the book I found myself thinking, "wow, the only thing this book is missing is some queer characters" AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENED THAT VERY CHAPTER. this book was so good that I went online as soon as I finished it to buy Alexis Henderson's next book, House of Hunger.

note for anyone who hasn't read the book: apparently it's the first of at least an intended duology. the second book is postponed indefinitely, but honestly the first book can be read as a standalone. so if you're a "I won't read a series until it's done" person, I urge you to read The Year of the Witching nonetheless

...made myself want to reread this but alas I'm in Georgia visiting the parental units, and the book is back in Ohio

maybe I'll make it my first read of the year again lmao

link to The Year of the Witching on BookShop

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

all I can say about this book (aside from how masterfully done it is) is that I reached the end, flipped the page, found "acknowledgements" staring up at me, and said OUT LOUD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE POLE STUDIO* "wait what that's it???????" and then YELLED about the book to my instructor and other students

*class had not started yet, I finished the book while waiting bc I'd arrived early

there's apparently both a prequel and a sequel, and I am both looking forward to and scared to read them

link to They Both Die at the End on BookShop

Arsenic & Adobo by Mia P. Manansala

actually I read the entire Tita Rosie's Kitchen Mysteries to date, which should tell you how good the first book was! I love a good cozy mystery, and the whole series is great. also: Tita Rosie and Jonathan 5ever oh my god they're so cute together and Tita Rosie deserves the best. if you're the type of mystery reader who likes recipes at the end of your book, this series is for you

I think there are five books so far with a sixth on the way! it's helpful to read them in order since the community in each book does build on the characters introduced in the previous book, but being cozy mysteries the plot doesn't super depend on you having read anything previous

(apparently she also has a YA mystery coming up?? hell yeah)

link to Arsenic & Adobo on BookShop

Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers by Jesse Q. Sutanto

OBVIOUSLY I've been looking forward to reading this one ever since I learned about it, because it's a little old lady getting into shenanigans. oh my god it exceeded my wildest expectations. I love Vera SO MUCH. I laughed aloud a lot, I cried a lot, and I worried over who the murderer might be because of the multiple POVs and the found family...each member of which had a good reason to want the murder victim dead :,) I'm still devastated (positive)

we're getting a SEQUEL and I cannot overstate my excitement to get a second Vera Wong book

link to Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers on BookShop

...I was going to do a top five but honestly there are SO MANY good books left on my spreadsheet that I don't think I can choose between them to list just one more. so let's look ahead to next year instead

upcoming books I'm looking forward to

A Witch's Guide to Magical Innkeeping by Sangu Mandanna

adult cozy fantasy featuring an undead rooster and elderly lesbians, so this is probably my number one book I'm looking forward to

Vera Wong's Guide to Snooping (on a Dead Man) by Jesse Q. Sutanto

adult cozy mystery and OBVIOUSLY I'm looking forward to this one

This Ends in Embers by Kamilah Cole

YA fantasy sequel to Kamilah Cole's debut So Let Them Burn

The Ashfire King by Chelsea Abdullah

adult fantasy sequel to Chelsea Abdullah's debut The Stardust Thief

(okay, I also listed that last one last year or the year before, but in my defense it kept getting pushed back)(actually so did the first one, but the first one wasn't on my radar last year)(the point is, I'm looking forward to both of them, and both of them are DEFINITELY FOR SURE coming out in 2025)

tune in later for part three!

[uncle-fruity]

There are probably a lot of people who think they've won an argument or "got me" because I don't tend to respond when people try to argue with me online.

I used to be online arguing with people all the time. I still like to post about things that get me fired up, though I'm less likely to go all-in on a conversation unless it really seems like the person I'm talking to is capable of reasonable conversation. (And even then I sometimes forget or don't have time to respond.) I prefer to say my piece on my own terms and if another person chimes in to clown, I'm usually just not having it. I have a couple reasons for this.

It's miserable arguing with people all day. It's a traumatic thing for me, because my family was always arguing and fighting and bullying people around them all the time. I was trying not to be like them, trying not to catch their ire, trying to just be a little guy who liked nature and who read books and who generally stayed out of sight as much as I could when they were in a bad mood. And, of course, sometimes I was forced to fight back or speak up or argue with them even though I did my best not to. I have completely cut that part of my family out of my life. So to then go online and pick fights or trade insults and get myself so angry my heart is racing just feels counterproductive and negating all the hard work I went through to get away from those people. I was a worse person for it, and I have no desire to be that negative force unless it is truly important. Targeted anger is better than constant raging. And I'm sorry, but online interactions are just not where I should be spending my spoons.

I remember where I was emotionally when my worldview radically shifted, and a lot of the people looking to argue are repeating the same unhealthy habits that I once had. Arguing as self harm. Arguing as a way to establish yourself amongst the chaos and horror that is the State of Things These Days, What With All the Oppression and Suffering and Profit Hungry Power Grabs. Arguing to prove to yourself that you're doing something -- even something small -- to rail against the system & the culture of hatred. Arguing because people push your buttons and you feel the need to defend the things and the people that you love. Arguing yourself ragged until you have no energy or joy for anything that actually matters. ... I am not going to be the person who enables that kind of thing for someone else, if I can help it. I know it won't stop them from arguing until they realize it for themselves, but they'll have each other to insult and dehumanize. I don't have to stick around to see how it plays out.

Relatedly, I have more stuff to focus on offline that matter more than arguing my right to exist and define myself. If I use all my spoons getting into the material reality of transgender people existing & being worthy of existing, then I won't have enough energy to organize a queer community art group. I won't have energy to write and work on my comics. I won't have time to make kissy faces at my partner and my cats. I won't have time to try out new recipes to share with my friends. I would be foolish to spend my time countering bullshit in my notifications, because the people who matter most already agree with me on the important things, or at least have good discussions with me when we disagree. I already lost a handful of years to internet/social media based depression & anxiety. I don't want to go back.

It feels dehumanizing. People hurl insults that are barely even related to you based on their own weird stereotypes cooked up on whatever corner of the internet they live on. It can't even get a rise out of me because it's just... not relevant to anything about me. Like "insulting my intelligence for being blonde, except I have black hair" kind of obviously not about me (& not even based in fact to begin with even if I did qualify). What is the point of talking to someone like that? Why validate their thirst to argue when all they have to offer is Fox News levels of misinformation and a vitriolic attitude? Or when people insist you don't understand your experiences as well as they do when you *know* that they only know you as the small square image of a man with a raspberry head against a pink background who represents a stereotype they want to reinforce to prove a half-baked theory they've come up with about how you exist in society. They'll use academic (and pseudo academic) terms and categories to refer to you without ever even learning your name. And then they say they're the ones fighting for justice and who are the morally superior ones. They are fooling themselves, and I think many of them never see other users as anything more than a collection of pixels & a cog in the machine. But we are all complex humans with intricate lives and most of us are just trying to get by in a harsh world. The extent of human experience is vast and probably beyond the scope of understanding & learning for most people. If we are to get along and build a better world, then we have to approach each other with grace and be committed to community and lifting each other up and hearing each other out with a baseline respect. If we want justice for everyone, then we cannot afford to tear each other down. If that's not the goal, then our goals aren't aligned & it's not worth my time to convince randos from the internet. It is much easier to connect with someone and see them as a full person offline. It is better to have important conversations where there are stakes and meaningful connections that have already been established. It is harder to insist on a stereotype when the person you are face to face with clearly defies it. When humanity is established, it's a lot harder to write off the person you're arguing with.

And, finally, the one that maybe is a little paranoid/least grounded in hard evidence or fact or reason, but I think a fair precaution considering The Real Challenges and Horrors of Historical Civil Rights Movements. I learned about COINTELPRO at some point in my 20s. I also grew up at a time when you weren't supposed to tell people who you really were online & so much of your data wasn't connected to every website you joined, so you could pretend to be anyone if you wanted to. I pretended to be a 15-year-old boy named James when I was 12 and role-playing with people. I like that Tumblr doesn't demand as much identifying information because I'm more comfortable that way, though the information I *do* share is true these days. But I guess what I'm saying is that you *can* pretend to be just anyone on Tumblr if you want to. I *know* that there is historical precedence for infiltration of a group of marginalized folks fighting for their rights and sowing discourse and distrust to weaken the movement. So if the only thing a person is bringing to the table is bad faith logicfucked bullshit designed to push our buttons, I'm just going to assume that's a fed. That's someone I do not need to entertain or embrace as a peer. And usually I reason with myself that it's just a real person with a much different and oppositional worldview to mine. But as far as I'm concerned, that's just carelessly helping the feds and I'm not about that life. That's why I tend to block anyone who's really toxic or dismissive & stubbornly misinformed. We don't need that.

And then there are good faith discussions I have from time to time that are actually decent. There are times when I wish I had more energy to properly educate people and gather sources of all the things I've read and learned about. Most of the time, I "abandon" those conversations because I get overwhelmed with tasks & completely forget to respond or follow up. Those are the ones I regret not answering properly, but the point about needing the spoons for things offline still holds. I'm just not a very active user outside of casual reblogs and a comment or two here and there.

Anyway, I guess this isn't about anything or anyone in particular. I was just thinking about it & figured I'd share my mindset with the Tumblr void. And to encourage folks to really consider who you're arguing with and why you're arguing and if the arguing serves the goals you're working towards more than something else you could put that energy into. I'm not saying to never get into it & I assume people's tolerance for it is higher than mine, but I am saying that you should think about when and why you argue. I am definitely saying that it's good to have clear boundaries that you will hold yourself to. This stuff can get toxic and destroy your health something fierce. Be careful out here.

[immortal-enemies]

about kit and ty being sidelined- hasn't she said numerous times that they are the main main characters of twp, kit in particular? I mean the way she worded it "its of course the story of dru and ash, and also the story of kit and ty" 😭 really does imply that she's changed the focus but like jkqwdleb what no unacceptable that's homophobia /j

I'm just not a fan of dru or ash and I would struggle to finish 3/4 books centering around them

Omg hiiii

NO FR??? I really hope I'm reading to much into it bc if she decided to suddenly switch up the MC it would just be so baaaadddd

Like! We all know and love Kit and Ty! They're the reason almost all of us are excited for TWP! To switch up how much page time they'll be getting seems so weiiirdddd

Also Kit and Ty are more interesting, and we've just been teased with Dru and Ash, while we basically know how Kitty's love story will go and they're still more intriguing.

Also the order she decided to release the flower cards would be sm weirder? Like Cassandra Clare doesn't save her main characters for last, she puts them first. Which was Kit. And YES, she did say that TWP's main couple would be two queer men. So??

I don't think I personally would struggle exactly, but I think I would always resent them a little bit at least bc it'll feel like they took smth from us lol

Also. Kit had so much POV in TDA that to then not make him the main character seems so odd. And his whole story is significantly more interesting then Dru's lol, if CC rlly changed who her MC is it's bc she decided she wanted it to be a woman, which is literally soooo stupid when every other character EXCEPT her has an interesting plot and story before the series even begins. It's just a recipe for disappointment and disaster imo