#literally why is my brain the way it is
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Me when I realize I haven’t been kissed in six months 😔
#literally why is my brain the way it is#sitting here alone being like teehee playing game on phone kicking feet in air behind me twirling my imaginary hair#THEN SLAM THINKING ABOUT THE CRUSHING LONLINESS AND LACK OF INTAMACY IVE HAD FOR MONTHS#me when I spend one day happy and it de rails my entire way of life#like how the hell am I supposed to live a life where I’m not even getting causal intimacy like forget kissing I hugged Millie before she#left for work and like :’(((#I used to be so anti touchy and now I’m like no come here rn and hug me like I am touchy!!! I am lovey!! I want to feel vulnerable around#people I like!!! we went to the laundromat and the gas station and joked around and went to a dispensary and did all this shit and all I can#think about is how I don’t live near her and can’t go do all of that all the time#I want that to be my life#I want to move in with Millie and it makes me so sad knowing that I have ti go back to Florida and start my real life and have a job#(speaking of which they have yet to send me an official job offer even tho they got my (completely clean) background check so im anxious)#I miss having friends near me and I feel like I had that when I had my last group of dedicated to… people and then they all were just done#with me and I didn’t really try again to make friends other than 🧍🏻 and he’s busy and we barely hang out even virtually we barely hang out#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#quick phone play that one mitski song yknow the one good kiss yknow that one yeah phone play that please
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YOU THOUGHT THAT YOU COULD OUTSMART THE VERY THING THAT RUNS THE BLOOD OF YOUR KIND?
#starkid#black friday#team starkid#hatchetfield#uncle wiley#wilbur cross#foe art#my brain disease re. this weasel guy in full denim continues#in Mine own headcanon he was very similar to john mcnamara when he entered the portal - a strongly moral person and a patriot#but wiggly manages to establish that the only way for wilbur to get what he wants (to help his country even though it is sick and militaris#and poisoned with consumerism and the chase for money above all else-#(wilbur cross is an anticapitalist is what i'm saying)#anyways yeah. wiggly sells despair and wrath and convinces him that the Only Way to save the world is through wiggly's ways!#no hope otherwise!#so....... why not become a comically evil double-crossing full-denim satan archetype!#also fun fact it took me two whole watches of black friday before realizing wiley wasn't meant to be literally satan#he's only figuratively satan!#the anticapitalist activist we deserve :]
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i'm an early seasons steve harrington apologist. sorry. he was not a bad person he was not a bad boyfriend he was literally just 17
#he wasn't even that bad. and he apologized when he was#also he literally thought his gf was cheating on him. with a guy who took sneaky pics of her like. valid actually sorry#and season 2??? why does he call himself a shitty boyfriend he was actually so sweet???#a little emotionally stunted maybe sure but he was a teenage boy trying his best#every time i rewatch i'm like what was everyone on about he's literally fine. i think ppl blow his king steve phase way out of proportion#steve harrington#stranger things#thoughts from my brain#1k
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Warum dürfen Stellenanzeigen eigentlich lügen?
#german stuff#bundesTag#i dunno why this one had to be german in my brain its just funnier that way#im not even actively looking for a job#i just get some advertised sometimes#and id love a part time liveable wage home office job without phone calls#thats literally all i need#i mean technically id love not having to be employed anywhere#wenn ich das jetzt mit jobsuche tagge krieg ich lauter scheiß in meinen feed oder#lass ma#shitpost
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DEAD BOY DETECTIVES - 1.07 “The Case of the Very Long Stairway” // THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES - MAG 159 “The Last”
#posts I make for a target audience of me and like three other people#I’ve had this parallel on the brain for so long I just had to get it out and done with#like. months. way before I started considering making gifs#happy protocol finale public release eve I guess!!#also. Charles' hands in the fifth gif... your honour I might have to start barking#reversed it for the shits and giggles so Edwin literally leans in as Charles begins to cradle his face#but now I take +10 damage every time I look at it or even think about it.#me @ me: why would someone do this#dead boy detectives#dbda#edwin payne#charles rowland#george rexstrew#jayden revri#payneland#my gifs
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Thinkin bout Sampo Koski rn as like. His character n what we get of him in honkai star rail and he fucking. He confuses me like. There has to be So Much more to him like
The general vibes of him and especially how other characters treat him is that of comic relief, a punching bag, a goof, just a slick conman causing trouble. It's genuinely difficult NOT to insult him n treat him badly with dialogue options and any time he's even mentioned March 7th hisses at him. He's literally a cryptid in belobog. He's a joke.
But. But. There's his light cone. It makes me insane. It contradicts all of that.
In it he's competent. He's badass. He's omnipotent. He's able to somehow know a sniper from however far away is locked on him and address them specifically.
And even like... in the entire plot of jarilo-vi he's spoken of like he's not much. He's a 4 star character. But he's practically as present as bronya and seele and Gepard and his involvement in the story is ASTRONOMICAL. He has a part in every major event. He's the one who drags the Trailblazers and bronya into the Underworld. He's the one who takes you to svarog, to the overworld again. He gets Natasha and saves you from svarog. He's the first character you ever meet on jarilo.
And he seems to just vanish before you confront cocolia. But no. Sampo is the one who has the last word and wraps up the entire mission on jarilo-vi. He fucking breaks the forth wall. Jarilo-vi both begins and ends with Sampo.
He calls himself shadowy comic relief yet he seemingly orchestrated everything. What is he. What the fuck is he doing. What else is up with him and when will we get more of him. I want to bite into him and tear him apart.
#sampo koski#honkai star rail#IM NORMAL IM NORMAL IM NORMAL#the fact he's 4 star vexes me#like.hes more present than gepard and clara and they are 5 stars#my theory is like dan heng we'll get a 5 star version of sampo#but also if he never gets more screen time i will fucking eat my own foot#like whay is he. who. what the fuck is going on#and is this a masked fools thing??? are the masked fools about this shit?? like. is it all just to put on a show?#or is he actually wanting to fix communities and help people#why did he go and get natasha. thay one gets me. thats such like. out of his way obvious selflessness#and he's shown and spoken of more like a smarmy selfish bastard only for himself#but he went and got natasha. he brought bronya to the underworld. he lead you to belebog at the beginning#i literally havent played hsr in months. because i have sampo brain worms#he is the worm aha made an emenator and he is in my brain
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Half questioning my memory of the post s4 era, half side eying a certain character, so correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think there was ever a time when the Buddie fandom fully took the single “Evan” from the season 4 finale as Eddie receiving “Evan” privileges from then on. From my recollection, fics stayed mostly consistent with their uses of “Evan” by Eddie, perhaps just with an emphasis on important moments (love confessions, Christopher’s adoption papers, wedding vows, NDEs, etc.) after the finale. And I had to stop myself from wondering why that is because I know why. We all know. Because nobody wanted to use “Evan” in fics when Buck had just told his parents that people who know him call him Buck. So Buddie fandom heard that, accepted it, and uses it only sparingly. In canon and fanon, even Maddie only rarely uses “Evan” anymore, and it feels even less common for her to use post-Buck Begins (if at all, actually). So the fact that Tommy and BT fans tend to use “Evan” (at least, this has been my experience) is so utterly jarring. Buck told everyone his preference, and I believe LFJ has spoken about being told to use only “Evan” when referring to Buck, so I simply do not understand anyone who believes that BT is in love already or endgame. Yes, it could go the “Buck gave Tommy ‘Evan’ privileges off-screen” route, but then why push it off-screen? It would be a major allowance made for a new love interest, and a significant step in Buck’s character arc. Yet we see nothing of the sort. So why would anyone believe that’s what happened? The last we heard, Buck had told his parents and everyone else to call him Buck exclusively, with the minimal exception of Maddie (who was, for most of his childhood, his one and only lifeline and confidant). That sort of history and characterization is not ignored if there is not something very wrong with the writers’ room. It was not even ignored by a significant portion of the fandom post-season 4, although Eddie gaining permanent “Evan” privileges would’ve been a strong indicator of a Buddie endgame (had an on-screen explanation of Eddie gaining this privilege been released). It was not ignored, and it did not change the nature of Buck in fic nor fanon. So why in hell is the same not holding true for a brand new relationship like BT?
#buddie#apologies for the rant#it just annoys me#that for 3 years this facet of Buck’s was understood and accepted by basically the entire fandom#but enter T and suddenly people are using ‘Evan’ like Buck didn’t literally walk through fire every single day of his life to keep from#being known as his parents’ ‘Evan’ again#this was literally not a problem before this past season and now everry time I see ‘Evan’ used in fics I cringe#soemtimes even when it’s Maddie or Eddie using it in a canon/character-aligned way#it’s the very definition of YOU DO NOT KNOW THIS CHARACTER to my brain#anti tommy kinard#anti tevan#anti bucktommy#anti bummy#anti bt#evan buckley#eddie diaz#and like#who cares if T is using it in canon???#he’s literally known Buck for all of 5 months at MOST#this is not a case of endgame ship getting privileges regarding each other that others don’t#this is a case of T and BT stand not understanding Buck as a character or person#even watching the whole show does not absolve someone of this weirdness because why is anyone following the lead of Tree 6 on anything Buck#maddie buckley han#maddie han#maddie buckley#btw if you’re a BT who somehow stumbled on this post despite like 4 anti tags that are easily filtered - just walk away#I am but an annoyed buddie fan who thinks that watching this show for deeper stories#is better than latching on to the newest white boy of the month#911#911 abc
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Finally started listening to Riptide, new hyperfixation just dropped
#jrwi riptide#just roll with it#chip jrwi#jay ferin#gillion tidestrider#tv’s art#I’m kidding btw the buzz isn’t the worst thing in the world lmao#I’m only on episode 33#what the hell is chip’s deal btw guys#why is he the way that he is#adore him tho#OUGH also Jay has me positively captivated#she is so cool like oh my god#the family issues we keep getting snippets of and the way she defeated the empress… she’s so great#gillion is one of the sillies ever though I’m afraid#he itches the brain in every possible way#I literally adore them. the ultimate trio.#cannot wait to encounter The Horrors
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#hi im j here 2 talk . saw this cow yday so i drew her and now u get 2 say hi#but omffgg my gd i dont know if any of u relate but i feel like my ability to socialize w others#specifically online and speciifically in interest-circles has gotten so much harder for no reason whatsoever#like im just becoming more self conscious ab how i portray myself and its so weird bc like . LIKEE I DONT KNOW like . ok#people r super njce . always super nice and reach out to me and talk w me or i reach out first and they respond and r soo sweet#and something happens in my brain where like . i feel like im suddenly like . inserting myself where i dont belong (not true) but why am i#the bus driver all of a sudden . in all of these situations . me when i just show up like hey#i think i j feel annoying >__< . and i dont want to bother other people but said people r literally never bothered ykwim like Will Reach Out#and im the one that pulls back but 4 no reason . i cant even think ab why i do that .why am i doing this 🧨#so many ppl i want to genuinely befriend in all of these spaces but im self sabotaging soo frwaking bad#literally rn thinking of some dms i left on read bc i panicked or mutuals ive talked w before who im nervous 2 be familiar w . hrmm#anyways . i kind of wish i had the ability 2 just talk to new people and not actually gaf ab the outcome#HELPP .. early tmblr or wcf or devart where u have thirty million friends 2 now where u r too scared 2 say hi to an almost friend .#me problem though . if not alr clear HEJAHHAAHA i think part of my reluctance also stems from the fact that i know i get this way#and so i dont want 2 rope someone else into that insecurity so i try to keep it at an arms length until i fix it#but i think i also know its a longer & more introspective thing to work on so i do need to just try anyways
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BASTARD MÜNCHEN #8 ALEXIS NESS
I'll prove you guys wrong! I'll go pro and represent Germany, and someday... I'll become someone who can cast a spell on the whole world!
#blue lock#bllk#alexis ness#bluelocksource#anisource#fysportsanime#animangahive#eyestrain#:m#e:gfx#i dont talk about him much but hes so dear to me... i love the way his brain works#(thats been how i say i like a character lately idk why)#i love his backstory chapters so much ive been meaning to make a ness gfx since then 🥹 so happy i got to finish this#i really love the “maybe the world is filled to the brim with magic” line... very jarring to be in blue lock BUT I FW THAT SO MUCH!!!#today i discovered the magic of gradient map I LITERALLY HAVE NEVER USED IT LOL i usually relied on selective color wth...#my life couldve been so much easier#anyways U20 WORLD CUP ALEXIS NESS....... ALEXIS NESS GERMANY REP U20 WORLD CUP......!!!!!
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Had a giant early morning realization on why I enjoy Gochi as much as I do. (I wrote a lot in this; there's a TLDR at the end but please read through my hopefully-coherent rambling to get full context.)
It's specifically because of how non-conventional they are. They didn't date / go through a courting phase before they got married. They barely knew each other at all in fact. Yet, Goku felt unbothered enough to honor a promise he made as a child, and agreed to go forward with the marriage anyway. Chi Chi stayed committed to Goku's promise, despite how she didn't know him, and literally got his consent as an adult first before they went on.
And they made it work.
I so wish we got to see the 5 years of Goku and Chi Chi living together + the early years of Gohan's youth, but specifically because I would like to see just how they each adapted to their new living situation. But regardless, the fact remains that they STAYED together. Chi Chi for sure would've left Goku if she was that unhappy with how Goku just isn't a conventional guy when it comes to relationships. Going home to her dad and resuming being Fire / Frypan Mountain's Princess was always right there as an option. Hell Chi Chi's been identified as an attractive lady in-universe, so she could probably meet someone new before long! But she didn't take it. IIRC, she never has.
I also feel like Goku would also get up and leave if he was unhappy. He's never had to force himself to sacrifice his own happiness for someone else as he lived on Paozu by himself for years, then spent the rest of his teenhood traveling around & training, so if presented with that kind of scenario he wouldn't think twice before being like "ok whatever, see ya" and just peacing out. He wouldn't see the point in staying, since why would he make himself stay somewhere he isn't welcomed or doesn't feel welcome? Grandpa Gohan's old home was always there for him.
My personal biggest gripes with their relationship have honestly never been because of how they had little chemistry before they got together. For me it's always been about how Chi Chi is just treated like a joke by the writer(s); she follows an angry housewife stereotype. Sure, it's supposed to be a joke and she's supposed to come off as comedic, but it only ends up doing damage because it encourages you as a viewer to not take Chi Chi or her relationship with Goku seriously. (I'm ignoring Goku here, but his writing in DBS *anime wise at least* is atrocious and further fed into this btw.)
Yet, from what I've seen over the years in the western fanbase, people's biggest issues with Gochi (aside from general Chi Chi hatred) is because it isn't a conventional relationship. It had hardly any chemistry going into it. I understand that logic, don't get me wrong, but I only understand it when I factor in society's amatonormative & allonormative lens. And I hate both of those things. Gochi not complying with them is what I find charming about the ship.
They didn't date or establish a super deep bond or whatever, yet they lived together in peace for 5 years. They continued to bounce off of one another throughout Z. Chi Chi NEVER remarried or even dated someone while Goku was dead for 7 years. She was crying happy tears when he finally returned at the end of the Buu saga. Goku was more than happy to go home with her and their kids (and tbh I'm 99.99% sure he wouldn't have minded if Chi Chi chose to get with someone else - he chose to stay dead after all). OBVIOUSLY they care for one another a lot, despite how they married each other as strangers. They themselves are narrative (if that's the right word) proof that conventional love & romance & whatever don't guarantee successful marriages. I adore that.
And it's funny because Vegebul is a pairing that also had little to no chemistry going into it, but unlike with Gochi, the no chemistry actually does hurt it for a couple of reasons (all of them revolving around how Vegeta was/is a terrible person) that I won't get into here because it'll derail this post and it's long enough already. I just wanted to point that out in text myself first, before other people came at me trying to argue it.
Anyway. TLDR Gochi as a ship defies amatonormative & allonormative concepts regarding intimate relationships. "You have to date / court someone first, fall in love with them, then marry them because marriage will make sense & be healthy then." They didn't do the first two parts, but after getting married, they're happy together. They spat in the face of societal norms & expectations.
#gochi#goku x chichi#dragon ball ships#( gochi ironically makes my nonpartnering aroace brain fire off on all cylinders )#( writing this post made me remember )#( on how the funimation dub made goku's confession to chi chi come off as way more romantic )#( than it actually was. in the jpn version; he's literally like ''ok wanna get married?'' and thats it )#( which is the correct depiction of it i feel. they didnt truly love each other going into marriage; so why frame it as if they did )#( but again. they clearly grew to care for one another deeply as time went on )#( what other ships have this kind of beginning; and they still work?? a scattered few; im sure )
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stranger things season one 2016 was so fucking incredible. it exists as an entirely different entity to me than the rest of the show. you literally just had to be there. to this day nothing has ever come close to the amount of universal love for a fictional story that stranger things first received. ive been chasing this high for eight years.
#ik theres a lot of young fans of this show that are teenagers rn and listen#if you were too young to watch this when it first came out I DONT THINK YOU REALIZE HOW HUGE IT WAS AT THE TIME#THE FIRST TEASER FOR SEASON TWO LITERALLY PREMIERED DURING THE SUPERBOWL#THAT ALPHABET WALL DID SOMETHING TO OUR BRAINS AND CHANGED THE WAY WE MAKE AND CONSUME SCIFI FOREVER#i genuinely believe that scene of joyce looking around at all the lights is one of the most iconic scenes in tv history#like i cant even explain it to you we lost our fucking minds over this show it was unlike anything anybody has ever seen#this was such a pivotal memory of my junior and senior year year of high school#everyone was wearing merch my teachers would gush about it in class everyone tuned in to watch the cast on fallon it was EVERYWHERE#and do not even get me started on halloween that year oh my god#it was just so fucking fun i miss it#just rewatched s1 and all i can think about is 17 year old me losing my fucking mind#its such an amazing season#i do understand why some people say they wish it stopped at season one im glad they didnt but i see where theyre coming from#stranger things#byler
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Girls after working themselves up so much over something and getting major anxiety only to realize they overthought everything AGAIN like they always do and things turned out fine and it was NOT the end of the world like they thought it would be:
#IT’S ME I’M GIRLS!!!!!#Shima speaks#Had major anxiety about work stuff but it was literally fine. It was fine. I’m a DUMBASS 💖#My mom: Why do you overthink everything you can’t do this to yourself!#Me in tears: I can’t help it it’s the way my brain works :(((#SHE MADE ME LIKE THIS!!!#(Not directly bc of her I mean bc of genetics lmao)#My mom: You gotta tell your brain to chill out#Me: I know. Smh 😔
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the most batshit insane traumatizing thing happened at work today & I won't know if people are dead bc of my inability to talk a man down from a mass murder until the news reports start coming out lollll
edit: it's all good there was nothing about a shootout on the news 🙏
#the rest of my shift after that call was a blur.#i obviously cant go into much detail but i was on the phone w/a man who had just robbed a mcds at gunpoint & was calling to say that hes#awaiting the police in the br & intends to shoot and kill as many as he can when they arrive#i tried talking him down but then he said ''ok ill blow my brains out on ten'' & began counting down.#i literally hung up at two after failing to stop him and started bawling & my coworkers called the cops to let them know they were#heading into a more dangerous situation than they realized#i monitered police scanners & 14 rounds were fired from the mcds location he was at but i have no further info#he mustve started shooting random ppl or cops. if i hadnt deprived him of his audience would he have just killed himself & not others??#like he was counting down while i was on the phone but i couldnt stand hearing the gunshot so i hung up but if i didnt would people still b#alive? then again all those shots couldve been misses or nonfatal wounds#hes probably dead now either way. i guess i was the last person to ever speak to him#idk what to do with all this hence why it is going here
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we never got an acknowledgment for how crazy hot Guillermo is
#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#guillermo de la cruz#harvey guillen#and i s2g if you say smth like ~the guide did~ iM#im just going to be posting random takes abt the finale all day#one positive one negative over and over#bc thats literally whats inside my brain right now#happy abt this 🙂#sad abt this 🙃#(but srs this one hurts in a very shallow way and yet stings more than most. like a paper cut)#(WHY CANT THEY ADMIT GUILLERMO IS CRAZY SMOKING HOT??? WHY?????)
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the new william wisp outfit goes hard! surely nothing bad happens to him
#jrwi#jrwi fanart#william wisp#my art#pseudokart#just wanted to draw him in some poses and expressions that's it#this is how i picture him in my brain. literally cannot draw him any other way#he has a mole below his lip on his left dont ask me why he just do#jrwi pd
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