#literally the entire fucking internet is having a race to see who can be The Worst

[stressfulsloth]

I hate the youtube "you might like this" system so much it's so fucking shit but more than that it's feeding into an increasingly polarising algorithm and it's incentivised to show people unhinged things so they click on them. So despite obviously having never viewed incel content on youtube??? It's sticking that shit in my completely unrelated search results as reccomended videos. I just searched for a video of glacial lakes and got reccomended an incel video on 'how to know when it's over', and then a few videos of the thing I actually searched for, and then boom, some guy reacting to eugenia cooney and exploiting her appearance in the thumbnail for clicks. Another incel video. A stack of unrelated reaction videos with clickbait thumbnails. A bunch of videos from my recent history that I've already watched. More controversial algorithm bait completely unrelated to what I was searching for. Earlier I was searching for hair cut tutorials and got reccomended a video compiling pro-ana 'what I eat in a day' tiktok videos. Like??? That is not just irritating or inconvenient, that's outright dangerous. It makes the internet significantly less safe for already vulnerable people.

[mobblespsycho100]

👍 kabru, heh

thank you so much mwahaha

1. Bottom Line by Dom Fera

I think this song is very Kabru in a this has big "customer service" vibes, lmao.

"Drive me somewhere you've been liking" -> hes a people pleaser, letting someone take the reins while he supports them and hangs back is kind of his thing. Even though he plans stuff out and chooses his words deliberately, sometimes he goes along with ppl's wants and expectations for him a bit too much...

"Order something I don't want, I'll drink it anyway" -> basically Kabru when he had to eat the harpy eggs Laios offered lmao. 'Right, i hate this so much this is Monster. okay. wow i need to kill you' hes literally triggered (in the ptsd term sense and not the. warped internet meaning of it) and he's still like okay ! i will dig in ! to prove a point ! so laios likes and trusts me! (... what point kabru . cmon man. )

"Take a little time, it's funny how you're fine when I'm away -> he needs to be needed. He needs to help others, save them even, to protect them from the tragedy he has experienced. He's used to being dismissed and he does swallow it and take it but ik he was so 🤨😧😠 abt laios ignoring him and all the attempts to get to know him... so its like take a lil tine its funny how ur fine when im away ... Kabru knows Laios is the closest to conquering the dungeon. and hes like. I rlly wanna help u do this but . ik ur probably fine without me (... man he makes me . so 😭)

"It's natural to see a bottom line with me / A bottom line I'll be" -> A bottom line in business is like the final total right. The sum of everything thats written at the bottom. The ultimate outcome... the core. The fate of the dungeon is something he wants to decide and get a say in as well. Even though he knows he isn't the one thats going to conquer it, he chooses to stop Mithrun from beating up Thistle and grabs him and they free fall into that pit. Because he decided, yeah, the fate of this dungeon the one to conquer it has to be us short-lived races/humans. He is such an action oriented character . He makes such decisions. He is so determined to make sure that Utaya doesn't repeat itself. Man.

Anyway that's song 1. moving on to song 2.

2. Smoke and Mirrors by Gotye

This entire song is So Kabru coded its insane to me . but I grabbed these lyrics from Verse 3 Because the last line specifically makes. me go crazy.

"You're a fraud, and you know it" -> the freaking masker . he is such a liar and he knows it... theres not much else to say here. Playing the hero, the saviour, while knowing he doesn't actually have the skills to defeat the dungeon but hes just so desperate . man

"And every night and day you take the stage" -> he should get an acting award fr... always adjusting his personality and carefully planning his steps with each person he interacts with man... also inchtresting to me that he gets to be more #real with Mithrun. thats a whole nother analysis can of worms I won't get into but like they rlly drove each other's character development...

"And it always entertains, you're giving pleasure" -> To quote Holm, Kabru is the typa guy who would do anything to get someone to like him akdjskhf hes so real for that...

"And that's admirable, you tell yourself" -> (kabru voice) im so cool for this ahaha everyone loves me (guy who genuinely fucking loathes himself) /ref

"And so you'd gladly sell yourself to others" -> smile of pain. I just think hes a real business man sometimes . Goodness Kabru stop being a charismatic salesman of your own personality im going to explode .

Right. we're on to the last one I guess...

3. Dear Arkansas Daughter by Lady Lamb

GENUINELY cannot really do this analysis lyric by lyric or I will go ... well. I'll go into the deep end but . like . right. anyway. this set of lyrics above aka the most popular line is very Kabru appearance. (Goodness i need to make an AMV of this. I will one day once the executive dysfunction stops fighting my autistic hyperfixation ass)

THIS WHOLE . SET OF LYRICS IS JUST BIG KABRU VIBES (SOURCE: JUST TRUST ME BRO)... His heart is full of swords... the sword fighter (he is proficient in many weapons)... im not big into tarot (or well i havent researched it much) but the annotations for these lyrics said that its referencing the Three of Swords tarot card, which represents painful sorrow. and like.. man like a fundamental sorrow in Kabru is so oughh its just so . real. and again i need a whole nother analysis post for this since this is already So long

Tie my hands & knock my knees. he is so stressed he is so . nervous all the time and these r like. the freeze . trauma response. to me. he goes freeze and fawn a lot (fawn not specifically with abusers per say but like people pleasing tendencies again) and like kind of visibly looking nervous and stressed out up before saying smth next is smth he does a lot I feel.

And like the vibe of like sinking to the sea with a heavy heart but also being someone who brings hope in a way to others (ex: Rin and Mithrun, he ends up being their anchor and helping them start like living with their lives after the burden of their traumas and hellish experiences) but Kabrus own traumas are so immense and then the person who rises . who foils him and who brings him hope is Laios. like a ripe red apple like. something bright and tempting and also dangerous (smth smth the forbidden fruit symbolism. theres so much . like Kabru that I can dissect with like Biblical symbolism themes but like anyway he sees Laios as both the key to humanity's victory against the dungeon and as sin / a distraction from his goal because Laios makes him do selfish things and its just AAAAHGHH rahhhh. man. im normal)

ANYWAY YEAH ... that wraps this up. Thank you for sending this ask ❣️💌 I am very normal abt Kabru of Utaya dungeon meshi

[s10127470]

As I'm sure many of know, it was announced this week that the Max original animated series, Velma, has been officially cancelled after two seasons and a Halloween special.

And the entire Internet collectively went.....

And rightfully so.

Velma was truly a one of kind show.

It was the thing that brought just about everyone....

From all walks of life....

From all cultural backgrounds....

Together. To all collectively say...

"This is legitimately one of the worst things to ever be created by a human being."

Just about everyone has gone over everything wrong with this show, as it's flaws are blatantly obvious to anyone over the age of 10.

The mystery and story is bare bones and a total joke, with hardly any effort put into it.

The humor is an unholy amalgamation of all the worst styles that have been plaguing tons of media for the last decade.

From ha-ha funny man quips, to pop culture references, to everyone's favorite.....META HUMOR!

In the words of my GOAT Cartoonshi.....

"The Marvel Cinematic Universe and Rick and Morty and their consequences have been quite disastrous for the human race."

The show prioritizes an agenda over the actual story.

And even then, it's done so half-assed and with little to no sincerity.

It's social commentary is borderline offensive and is often years to DECADES behind the curve.

Its characters are either bland, terrible, annoying, or in the case of Velma herself, The Anti-Christ.

And most importantly of all, it's a DISGUSTINGLY spiteful show.

Like, I've seen shows and movies made out of pure incompetence.

I've seen MANY made out of pure greed.

But I've never seen a show or a movie made purely out of spite.

Like, this series is just dripping with disdain towards the Scooby-Doo IP and the even medium of the animation as a whole.

And with all that considered, you can't help but wonder....

Why was this show made?

It's pretty clear that the people behind this show hate Scooby-Doo, so why are they even trying to make a series based on the IP then?

Well....

If The Witcher, Rings of Power, and She-Hulk: Attorney at Law has taught me anything, people in Hollywood have these vendettas against popular IPs for some reason and wanna spite people for liking them.

So they create pretty half-assed and unfaithful adaptations of the work because they love seeing the fans of those IPs getting angry at them.

I know that sounds dumb, but this is Hollywood we're talking about.

But anyway, pretty much everyone on the face of the Earth was happy to know this piece of shit was finally dead.

Made even better with the fact that the series ended with Velma literally DYING and getting her soul sent to Hell.

If there's one thing you give the show, it at least had a happy ending.

But back on topic, people were celebrating about Velma being over.

Except for a few individuals.

Yes. There are a few individuals who have a problem with people celebrating the cancellation.

And guess where this is all happening.

You guessed it, it's Twitter.

Because of course it is.......

Where else can you find people having a problem with something actually good and positive?

As for why those individuals have an issue with people celebrating the cancellation of Velma, it's because of the fact that the artists and animators on that show are now out of a job and basically we're celebrating these people losing their jobs.

Okay, I have some things in response to this.

If there's one good thing about Velma, it was that it had really good art direction.

The character designs and art-style were really strong and dynamic, the animation was solid throughout the series, and the backgrounds were really pleasant to look at.

It's pretty clear that the artists and animators on this show were very talented.

Wished their talents were used for a much better show....

Also, I can kinda see why this would look bad.

The animation industry has been in a very turbulent place lately.

And one of the many reasons for it has been the mistreatment, overworking, and underpayment of animators and artists.

So celebrating the cancellation of a show does seem like a dick move.

Even if the show is terrible, at least the artists and animators are getting work.

However, in typical Twitter fashion, I feel like they've blown this whole situation out of proportion.

And the reason I say this.....well, allow me to introduce you to Lauren Mattson.

She's an artist based in Burbank, California, who currently works at Warner Bros. Animation.

Just this Wednesday, YouTuber Saberspark had posted a video on the recent announcement of Velma's cancellation.

And among the comments, one of them was from her.

Essentially, she revealed that was part of the crew that worked on Velma for entirety of the series.

And she did confirm that Velma was in fact over and done with, as the execs at WB have their minds on other things right now.

But the thing that really caught my eye was that Lauren said that she's glad the show is gone.

She pointed out how in spite of the friendly production crew and the surprisingly good work schedule, working on this show was a total chore.

Though she didn't really go into detail on why besides having to sit through the animatic reviews.

And I honestly think she doesn't really need to.

Why?

IT'S FUCKING VELMA.

It's flaws are just that apparent.

Like, I already had the suspicion that nobody besides Mindy and her circlejerk of writers actually enjoyed working on this show.

But this essentially confirmed it for me.

And if you want to bring up the problem of the artists and animators being out of a job, well.....

According to Lauren, she and rest of the crew have already moved on to other projects.

So yeah.....this cancellation is not really as bad or disgusting as Twitter keeps trying to make it out to be.

Like, the artists and animators have already moved on other projects, so I don't see the problem here.

And even then, out of all the shows that got cancelled in recent years, why are people pulling the whole "artists and animators losing their jobs" card for VELMA of all things?!

I don't even recall seeing this for shows like Inside Jobs or The Owl House.

You know, shows that were actually good and liked by the majority of the Internet.

And even among the seas of bad shows, I've never anyone pull this card for shows like The Prince or Santa, Inc.

Which may I remind you, both of which were cancelled after just one season.

Hell, the latter of the two was essentially canned the moment it premiered.

But anyway, that's all I have for now.

I know this wasn't exactly the most structured, but remember, I was trying to make sense out of something from Twitter.

That already speaks for itself.

[stateswscarlet]

but what if I genuinely don't want to do ANYTHING to get my desire, I just want to wake up and BAM it's there. Do you think that's possible? and please don't say "it depends on you and what you believe in your reality." I want to know what YOU think.

Why are you asking me? Do my beliefs and my state manifest in YOUR reality? Didn’t think so. You don’t need my validation at all, im some random chick on the internet who loves studying and teaching the law.

So yes anon it depends on you and what you believe in your reality, lmao.

But I assume you’re wanting MY personal opinion in MY reality correct? So I also assume you’re not going to cry and throw up and spiral to everyone else that “Omg scarlet said this!!” because you asked for MY OPINION.

(and this goes to everyone else reading this - I better not catch anyone spiraling in someone elses ask box about “scarlet said this, is it true?? is it real?? what do i do?” because I know DAMN WELL yall LOVE taking stuff out of context and blurt it to other creators without giving them the full story. So if you’re going to go throw up your spiral in someone else box, let them read my ENTIRE answer before you make me look bad.)

So since anon asked for MY PERSONAL OPINION IN MY REALITY I will share MY OWN PERSONAL BELIEFS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE ELSES REALITY BUT MY OWN.

I don’t believe in MY REALITY that its possible to magically wake up in another life. I don’t believe in “magical” manifestations. I don’t believe in anything that isn’t already natural or COULD NOT BE experienced (even as a teeeeeeeeeeeny chance) by someone living on planet earth and all its laws. I don’t believe in manipulating physics, growing wings, changing your age and physically becoming a 10 year old from a 45 yeat old, changing your race (thats weird as fuck so idk why you’d do that anyways), transforming into a magic fairy, turning into a sorcerer who can teleport and mind read, or waking up tomorrow as taylor swift.

The way I learned and understood and firsthand experienced the law is:

1. The law is natural. It has ALWAYS been at play. It is ALWAYS working FOR EVERYONE. Even unconsciously we are all manifesting based off the law and our state. It works THE SAME WAY for everyone regardless of who you are.

2. Our consciousness, YES it is LIMITLESS has chosen FOR THIS LIFETIME a HUMAN experience that is bound to the 3D. Our consciousness has chosen an earth experience as its home, as its experience for our life that we are aware of. It CHOSE this (limited) 3D world as its experience and WANTS to experience what a human is capable of experiencing. The law exists amongst other laws like physics. Yes we are god, but we are GOD EXPERIENCING ITSELF THROUGH A HUMAN. WE CAN GOD IN HUMAN FORM. Not literally an all knowing powerful entity who can turn off gravity and create an ice castle in a blink of an eye.

So if you’ve lived your whole life never hearing of anyone that has magically woken up in a mansion in LA when they were just asleep in their studio apartment in Antartica, it would be pretty difficult to believe that to be true today. Now if you HAVE heard of that or firsthand experienced it, know someone who has, now thats a different story because again, IF YOU BELIEVE ITS POSSIBLE IN YOUR REALITY THEN THAT IS WHAT YOU WILL EXPERIENCE.

I personally have never heard of anything magical happening nor have I ever seen it with my own eyes so in MY REALITY its not possible in the slightest. I don’t see myself manifesting waking up in a completely different life with a new name, age, set of parents because first of all, I would freak THE FUCK out, that sounds SO scary and disorienting?! Maybe i’ll believe it when I see someone in real life flapping their wings, teleporting, and waking up in a brand new place with a new name/age. And I don’t mean people on here with success stories online, I mean people physically and/or people who don’t know the words “law of assumption” experiencing it (as I said up in number 1, the law is the same for everyone).

When I see “manifesting is illogical” I take it as we cannot conceptualize HOW something would happen. That is what ILLOGICAL means. It doesn’t mean that when you blink, a fat stack of a billon dollars is going to appear in front of you. It means YOU CANNOT PREDICT OR KNOW HOW IT WILL HAPPEN AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY, IT WILL STILL HAPPEN IN A WAY YOU DIDNT EVEN THINK OF. Same thing applies for the “there are infinite realities, theres one where im living that!” YES you are correct! There is a reality where you have a huge mansion next to Kylie Jenner, and so there would be NATURAL STEPS TAKEN to make that a reality that would be the BEST way for YOU.

I believe in a natural bridge of incidents (it would have happened anyways or it makes sense how it happened after it did kind of thing) that is perfectly and best suited TO ME. Trying to “wake up” in a new life is messing with the how, because if you knew by the end of next week GUARANTEED you’d be living your dream life, would you give half a fuck about what steps needed to be taken for that? NO because you would just NATURALLY take them WITHOUT EVEN THINKING as part of the bridge! So yes, becoming a millionaire quickly is 100% possible, dating a celebrity is also 100% possible, moving into a huge mansion when you’re currently homeless is also possible, healing an illness is also possible, and so is manifesting an sp you don’t know/do know, and manifesting a career you’re not qualified for/rejected for because all of these things and everything else in between are things which humans can already experience (even as a very slim, nearly impossible chance) with or without knowing the law. I firmly believe the law isn’t magic.

I already know someone is gona be like “what about so and so success story? what about xyz stories? are they fake??”

When I say that I GENUINELY DO NOT GIVE A SINGLE THOUGHT thinking if someone’s success is true or not, I 10000% mean it. Who am I to tell someone else they’re lying or ask for proof? In THEIR reality they experience different beliefs than me and thats 100% okay. I dont care what someone is or isn’t doing in their reality. I don’t care if they’re lying or scripting because how does that affect me? I still believe in the law and love my natural and “limited” perspective and still get things reflected in the 3D in a natural and effortless way. I don’t need nor want proof of it because no one owes anyone any successes or proof that they manifested something and this goes for me too. I will say however that no one should be relying on other peoples successes on the internet and instead use the law yourself to be your own success story. We (myself included) are at the end of the day, random strangers on the internet who you don’t know. Why would you place your life in our hands? Study the law yourself from source and be comfortable with your own beliefs instead of asking me or anyone else “is this possible” instead ask YOURSELF if ifs possible for you.

Not to mention i’ve literally known people from other communities (reddit and subliminals community) who posted “impossible” successes yet were in my DMs saying how “gullible” others are and how none of that happened. It makes me sad knowing people would post anything fake, but I know that others lying has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. This is why I said that YOU NEED TO BE YOUR SUCCESS instead of relying on others because we aren’t special or unique, we are all regular people too.

Also I will NOT BE ANSWERING ANY ASKS RELATED TO CALLING ME LIMITED, BEING RUDE, TELLING ME OFF, ETC it will be INSTANTLY DELETED. This is MY PAGE WHERE I SHARE MY BELIEFS. DO NOT go around to 10 other creators venting that “omg scarlet said i cant magically wake up a kpop idol!” because if you’re spiraling over ONE random persons beliefs, im sorry you need to do better and go apply the law. If you are going to be throwing up elsewhere, make sure you link the entire post.

Call me limited all you want, im not stopping YOU from getting what YOU believe to be true.

[voidsentprinces]

Homestuck Day. Time for an annual short hand.

Homestuck is about four kids who want to play a hit new game together that devours their reality and gives them items, armor, and titles with powers. But, because it destroys reality if they can’t win it, their reality ends.

Sorry did I say Homestuck is about four kids? Sorry, Homestuck is about a group of gangsters trying to kill one lady in particular, her boss, and the bosses’ right hand man. But in doing so kick starts the end of the universe.

Sorry did I say Homestuck is about a group of gangsters? Sorry, I meant Homestuck is about a mail person and a mayor trying to make their way through the universe when an incel on another planet kills his Queen and gives himself god powers and kick starts the end of the universe.

Sorry did I say Homestuck was about a mail person and a mayor? Sorry, I meant Homestuck is about a group of alien children who have overtly complicated relationships who live in a fascist, brutal society and are divided into a caste system based entirely on the color of their blood. They also just so happen to align with the Horoscope. They also try to get together to play a game but after some of them accidentally kill each other and at least two people purposefully kill each other and leave at least one person blind. They find they’re not able to win the game because the Incel who killed his Queen is also under the unfiluence of the BRITISH.

Sorry did I say Homestuck is about a group of alien children? Well I didn’t stutter because those alien children fucked up their reality they decide the best use of their time is to harass the first four children and thus get dubbed internet “Trolls” which is perfect cause thats the name of their alien race anyway. Funny thing about how they fucked up their reality. You see while the original four children are moving forward in time, the Trolls are from the future and all their online interactions with the kids happen in reverse order. From being future all knowing internet gods to their first actual meeting of one another online on the forums. Think Tenet but before Tenet was Tenet. But for internet forums. Anyway, because of this the trolls are free to mess with the kids and at least one of them gets one of the kids killed at least once in a rocket flying accident. But that same kid goes onto make incestous, homoglobian, homunculus clones of himself, his four friends, and their parental figures making them a mesh of being related but not really being related and becoming a bootstrap paradox.

Sorry did I say Homestuck is about a group of alien children? I meant the mail person isn’t able to deliver mail, the Mayor is the Mayor of a Can Town and the Incel who is possessed steals on of the kids dogs but its alright because the Mail Person is SO ENRAGED that they also get the power of the kids dog that power is ULTIMATE OMNIPOTENCY! And the two spend the rest of the series literally just fighting each other. Ruining the universe.

Sorry did I say Homestuck is about a mail person who isn’t able to deliver mail? I meant it was about the author who is being harassed by the ram troll’s ghost but then the BRITISH kick his door in and kill him ruining the future endings of this story...where was I?

Homestuck then actually becomes about four kids trying to reset their universe before the BRITISH arrive and thus causing a supernova and the birth of a frog so powerful it propels them through the four wall into another universe. Meanwhile a Clown boy goes randomly insane and kills a cat person and a muscular troll before being sliced in half by the vampiric one with a chainsaw who also kills the Harry Potter stand in for killing the mermaid stand in because Harry Potter was jealous the Royal Mermaid was paying more attention to the IT Beelon Musk and kills him too. By the way, one of the ones who is already dead is possessing a robot version of herself built by a muscular dude but she has no interest in him cause she’s also ALL IN on Beelon Musk. The Spider one who ended up blinding the justice one also crippled the bull one. And kills him too cause if you’re gonna start a murder party, you might as well get to EVERYONE! Anyway justice gal kills spider troll. Fuck where was I again? Oh right

Sorry did I say Homestuck was about four kids trying to reset their universe? Cause if you like kids, yo dawg check this out, we got kid version of the kids parents who are also kids trying to play a game together, so you got kids from the kids of the kids, ya dig? No? Well fuck off this isn’t going to get any easier cause these kids universe is also getting fucked by the BRITISH.

So Homestuck is about these eight children hanging about doing fuck all with the remaining trolls while one of them tries to raise an army of the--

Sorry let me back track, Homestuck is about twelve different trolls who are already dead but not really? Who are the ancestors of the main trolls but different personalities and a little more emphasis on the ones we didn’t get focused on before because they got killed when the Clown went insane. Also cool fact this Royal Mermaid stand in crows up to be Betty Crocker. You heard that right. But in this world Betty Crocker is a motherfucking Empress of the Universe and right hand murderess extradoinare of the BRITISH!

Homestuck is actually about the BRITISH being the most incel person you’ve ever met and spliced with Eric Cartman and Jeoffrey Baratheon. The universe is ended but he dreams of being a cool king pin dude, my guy. But he can’t do that cause he’s chained to a stone tablet and when its his turn to sleep, he is replaced with his creative sisters. Who is the stand in for the fan artists and thus is just the best in world...so naturally he hatches a plan to kill her and escape. Which he does. He then goes on to take over Homestuck and make a shitty clay puppet show. One of the four children who are the kids parental figures in kids form kind of sort of maybe also become clowns and yell things like CAUCASIAN because they are awkward teenagers who don’t know how to express their feelings. Some of them might be dating trolls, some of them might be dating the Mayor of Can Town. Bottomline everything gets fucked so now they have to try aga--

Homestuck is about the Spider Troll not getting killed and thus fixing the timeline and everyones issues just in time for them to split up into squads. One squad has a giant ghost army of all the times the trolls have ever died in every universe ever to the BRITISH to stall the BRITISH for the other squads to beat the game. Another Squad is task with fighting the possessed Incel who killed his Queen and became possessed by the BRITISH! Then another squad has to fight and kill Betty Crocker right hand murderess of the  BRITISH! and lastly, a group has to fight the gang members who are back for some reason...also one of the original four kids has to go calm down the two dogs from fighting. But only distracts one the mail person then gets angry enough to punch out the kid and take the others power killing him for good. Its...a cocaine induced, hyperactive fuck a thon of fighting. But the kids win and go on to live happily ever after.

There is probably 20,000 things I missed but there, that is fucking Homestuck. I saved you hours of your life.

[jbfly46]

Psychogenic Electronic Illness

There appears to be a psychogenic electronic illness or mass hysteria plaguing the entire United States, with the symptoms ranging from symptoms of delusional disorder to symptoms of schizophrenia. I assume from my past research that the cause is a combination of a biological cause, from what seems to be a strain of frequently ignored black mold that is prevalent in poor regions, recent increased levels of stress from Covid-19, and the effects of late stage capitalism that the majority of people are born into. The majority of the people in the area appear to at least be experiencing functional delusions, with the lower classes and the poor experiencing more severe symptoms due to their increased levels of economic and other stressors. It’s likely that there is also a genetic factor in play, with certain epigenetics being activated by stress and the biological toxin. I am assuming that the minority of people unaffected by this don’t work in mental health, as these workers seem to be completely unaware of it or also affected by it. Portland is going to need outside help from people who won’t be affected by the causal factors. I’m unsure of who to contact about this as there is still no federal body that oversees issues of this nature, and I cannot be sure the people I’m contacting aren’t also being affected by it. This has happened before in the United States and Europe, but back then there was nothing known about psychology, and barely anything known about the causes of illness. This psychogenic event has everything to do with computational psychology and the internet. Facebook was not the first entity to use internet algorithms to brainwash people. That’s what controlling the emotions of people who don’t know how to control their emotions is. Brainwashing. Eliminating their ability to use their free will. I’ve seen zero efforts from any university to counter the obvious and blatant brainwashing of our youth. Y’all are corporate cowards in my book, and corporate cowards deserve a coward’s death. The entire concept of brainwashing leaves out the fact that free will is necessary and exists for good reason, so of course an attempt at brainwashing the entire United States populace is going to end in disaster. I just hope for the sake of everyone that it isn’t allowed to get worse. The area of psychology has gone in the completely wrong direction. The entire field was practically fulled researched by Freud and Jung, all it needed was to neutralize the pronouns and anything based on the pronouns into non-gender or non-race specific pronouns. Now the successful methodologies of hypnosis and psychoanalysis are done by supercomputers running off of secret black boxes in corporate labs. I hope y’all are fuckin’ happy with your careers. The United States is falling apart at the seams and the lower classes are struggling and dying at alarming rates. How am I the only one who can see what’s happening? The inability of academic professionals to view their own academic subjects objectively qualifies them as delusional. This is a fucking humanitarian war crime. Reality has turned into a living fucking nightmare. Fuckin do something about this. I’m literally invisible to the majority of the population because I somehow escaped this ensnaring electronic entrapment, even while frequently using social media. People literally don’t see or hear me. I saw these experiments being planned and go down online. I traced their originations to specific geographical regions, where specific groups were the only ones with access to the knowledge and resources necessary to undertake these experiments. I don’t see how they expected to escape the brainwashing, almost as if they thought they were special. They’re not special. They were brainwashed too. Some of these people have literally had their minds wipes by their own technology. They’re effectively braindead. From the outside it looks similar to delusional disorder, psychosis, Alzheimer’s or dementia.

[hampterguts]

sorry to be a hater but im socially obliged to watch all of twin peaks and um. when does it become watcheable.

thought-swarm rant below

i kept being told that theres a moment everything lines up and it all makes sense and the ppl who are going out of their way to let me watch it arent bigoted but the show is. the show is. not even in a conversational way its just unironic straight faced bigotry and the constant graphic depiction of sexual assault to women and teenage girls and the way the majority of adult characters the viewer is Definitely supposed to like are/were/arent upposed to having sex with high schoolers. not only are half the cast 18 theyre still supposed to be in high school.

like how am i supposed to like this show. the only main character thats a woman of color is the most unironic orientalist caricature. shes pure she's evil, shes loving but shes cold and has no feelings, shes innocent shes guilty, shes strong shes helpless, shes a manipulator shes being manipulated, shes the sole owner of a log company shes blackmailed into being a maid, shes a sexual abuse survivor, she loves america and hates her home country, her entire character story revolves around people who "own" her. she gets talked about like shes an item or a pet. she needs white cop man to save her from white people. one of white ppl whom literally spent an ENTIRE season "in disguise" as a vague east asian man. my ears still hurt from the racist accent. also the woman's dead husband who isnt dead bc she warned him hates her btw. the show acts like hes reasonable to. in fact another Good White Boy cop is seen as reasonable for not trusting her and holding her at gunpoint after she shoots ONE of her abusers. and again all of these things are shown BARE HANDEDLY AS IN WE ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE IT ALL AT FACE VALUE- ok well i still have like 8 episodes left but im not getting utena levels of "isnt this so fucked up to expect from a human being?" im getting "isnt she a fucked up little thing?"

she has short hair too btw. do you understand my devastation. my dyke ass was SO excited to see a Cool Calm short haired business suit wearing woman in charge of a lumber factory all by herself. like "wow this isnt egregiously racist i cant wait to see-" only a few episodes later and its the worst ive seen. i cant stomach this at all.

im going to have an aneurysm. i swear if i have to experience any more of this all of my blood vessels are going to burst and im going to dissipate on the floor. i have at least 8 episodes left. the mystery isnt even interesting to me bc all that keeps happening is racism, ableism, pedophilia, sexual assault, and romantic issues. its all so character-relationship driven and it expects you to be invested in and also LIKE these characters. i cant! i thought the director was famous why does this suck so extremely bad!!!!! when does the reveal happen and when it DOES happen i have a bad feeling it wont be worth the mental emotional pain ive been through. like im sorry famous director i think you'll have to scramble a LOT to make this one mentally ill internet faggot consider watching your other work at all. you cant handle mental illness you cant handle physical disability you cant handle race you cant handle women you cant handle mystery what CAN you write.

like its not even artsy with it. one artsy scene does not count. it also had a teenage girl kissing an unknown-aged adult man who we ARE SUPPOSED TO LIKE!!!! he's consistently "our little sweetheart protag hes so sweet and kind and trying to Do Good!!!!" fuck him to hell. his biggest reason to Not Date an 18 yr old whos still in school was bc hes "still in love with a dead woman". why the fuck is this show popular. what was the norm for the time this came out bc it sounds PRETTY BAD IF THIS IS CONSIDERED GOOD.

[purplesurveys]

1780

When was the last time someone admitted to having somewhat of an attraction to you? Few months ago when some dude in Malaysia hit on me and also tried to use this cheesy pickup line which was tbh adorable but I just wasn't looking for anything so I turned him down.

If people hit on you semi-often, what race tends to hit on you the most? Eh that never happens to me.

Have you ever had an experience with ghosts or angels? If you have, explain: No and I don't believe in either anyway, so...

How has the summer been treating you thus far? June was fantastic; I went on back-to-back overseas trips and it was incredibly refreshing to have a month where I spent more time off than at work. The rest of it is an autopilot blur because I spent the rest of it working, lol. I can barely remember what happened in July.

What was the last wedding you went to like? Any pictures you’d like to post? I haven't been to a wedding since my aunt and uncle's in 2007. None of my friends are married, and the people I know who have since gotten married I'm not even close with so I've never gotten invited to theirs.

Was yesterday an exhausting and busy day? It actually was my most exhausting day of the week. It left me so tired I don't even know how I managed to drive home lol, I just wanted to close my eyes and pass out the whole ride.

Have you ever choked on food before? Not on food but on liquids and my own spit in the past, yeah.

Do you ever make awkward eye contact with people at restaurants? I wouldn't call those instances awkward. Sometimes I just meet eyes with strangers and that's all there is to it. I just look away as quick as I can so that they don't think I'm staring.

How often do random numbers call your cell phone? I wanna say 2-3 times a month because we're apparently doing a crap job addressing the whole thing about scammers and them having a hold of literally everyone's numbers.

Can you just go with the flow, or do you like control? I like an overall structure, but it's nice to have a bit of freedom within that structure. That said I definitely am not nearly as anal as I used to be and enjoying going with the flow is probably the biggest change I've undertaken in the last three years.

Is your internet connection slow? It is and it has been SO SHITTY the last 2.5 weeks. Our internet service provider is shit shit shit shit SHIT. I've been going to the office for 2.5 weeks now because I can't stand the slow service lmao; they also keep saying they'll bring someone in to fix whatever the fuck problem is happening but they've been saying that for the last couple of weeks and no one ever comes.

Have you ever unblocked someone that you blocked before? Yep.

Do you like to eat fruit salad? No that sounds like the worst punishment ever.

Can you take naps, or does it make you feel horrible? I can, but I don't. My free time is very rare and I always see sleep as a waste of time, even though I know I shouldn't... but idk, I guess I've always been a "I'll sleep when I'm dead" kind of person.

Do you know anyone who can’t swallow pills? I don't think so! I mean I have my moments where the damn pill just won't go down and the water makes me nauseous already LOL, but for the most part it's not a cause for concern with me.

When was your last uneventful day? That would be last Friday and Saturday – I had a fever then and both days were entirely spent on the couch recovering. I didn't want to risk getting up and doing stuff and possibly making my fever even higher.

Does your ex have a reason to hate you? Yes.

What annoys you the most about people? This is speaking only on the side of Filipino culture but I hate the culture of aggressive bargaining and find it embarrassing. Like the seller you're haggling is making a lot less than you are; if she says a top is 700 just pay the damn 700 lol. I'm FOR SURE in the minority here but I just don't like the idea of pressuring people, especially because I know I would hate it if I'm being forced to lower down prices that I set hahaha.

Don’t you hate how cameras are almost everywhere in public now? I don't find it a problem and it actually makes me feel safer.

Has anyone slapped you across the face before? If so, why? Yeah. Fuck if I know. I haven't talked to him in like five years.

How long have you been on the computer today? I want to say a little over 6 hours.

Did you know that a large fry at McDonald’s contains 500 calories? No but tbh I don't care. I know what I'm signing up for whenever I eat fast food, lol.

Do you find it hard to truly trust people? I trust my friends; it's a question mark for everyone else. I want to remain guarded, especially with how unsafe or sketchy the outside can get.

Do you prefer to have more or less in common with your siginificant other? Less is always more fun, as long as it's the little things – like me liking wrestling and my SO not understanding it one bit. It's a mess waiting to unravel if you have nothing in common with the fundamental items, like religion or wanting to have kids.

Why do you think people care so much about looks? Doesn't it just simply boil down to society and media and what we think society and media tell us to do?

What do you do when there’s a question in a survey that you don’t want to answer? I just delete it altogether or give a noncommittal answer.

Do you hate the last guy/girl you had a thing with? I did. I'm just calm now.

Have you ever taken a survey so long it bored you? Yes.

How easy was it to get over the person you last dated? 7 months, to my own surprise.

Do you allow people to ask you questions? Sure.

Would you take a shot of heroin for a million dollars? No.

Why don’t you talk to your ex anymore? I don't need to and I don't want to.

[ultra-kek]

you can’t see the trend because you’re such a fucking idiot that you can’t realize that the game that began as being about pillagers invading a frontier literally just like manifest destiny, looting it for riches and killing the native peoples en masse because theyre innately degenerate “chaotic evil” and an affront to your character’s gods, written by a racist who openly compared it to native american genocide, could possibly be questionable, and you can’t see anything wrong with that because you’ve been so normalized to this kind of content that i guess you don’t consider anything racist unless it meets your criteria for antisemitism and any people of color or “mongoloids” can die for all you care. You just don’t care that in the D&D setting, which is inspirational to and inspired by fantasy fiction as you would have to admit, there are entire peoples who, lorewise, are not only extant populations of people who reproduce and have cultures and civilizations like real human beings, but also are depicted as horrible racial stereotypes associated with indigenous, native, “uncivilized” people, who if not too innately evil because of their genes and race their biological origin, have a culture so innately evil that they must be civilized by the righteous white race coincidentally light-skinned human and elvish races. But wait, its okay because the cosmology of these settings as written arbitrarily by their authors dictates that these uncivilized races are actually literally inferior to their lawful counterparts and god said that its fine to kill and enslave these untermenschen for your kings who all literally have divine right, which in no way has any conservative or even fascist connotations. And the aren’t all mongoloids, some of them are degenerate dark skinned civilizations that let women be leaders, or a culture of evil thieving fortune tellers. I mean, its not like there has been enough outright racist content in D&D that wizards of the coast would have had to publicly apologize.

And theres just no way that there could be a problem with other works in or inspired by this style of medieval swords and sorcery fantasy, like the hit anime series goblin slayer where an objectively righteous knight makes it his mission to purge the earth of the evil race that is too degenerate to be civilized and which rapes white women, or shadowrun where real world humanity becomes divided into fantasy races including orcs as innately less intelligent and associated with gang culture, or warhammer and its 40k incarnation which both feature protofascist or neofascist human governments that, regardless of anyones possible interpretation of it as satire, have become favorites of internet nazis, or maybe instead look back at conan, whose creator robert e howard certainly wasnt infamously racist. People like you are so mindless you could read the iron dream and just think its a fun adventure story.

fuck tolkein and fuck dnd for being the originator and modern popularizer respectively of the race science tropes that have glued themselves parasitically to the fantasy genre and refuse to come off

[dzpenumbra]

2/17/23

Back and forth a bit today. I woke up early, I had really vivid dreams. Again, I just... haven't been journaling them. I have seriously 3 dream journals by my bed, I haven't recorded a dream in months. It's a weird skill I had to train, it was very difficult for me but I got really good at it, I'm just very out of practice.

The key to it, for me at least, was to really set a clear intention to myself right before bed that if I dreamt, no matter what the dream was, I was going to hold on to details, do my whole... milestone marker tracking technique I developed, and grab the journal and my glasses quickly. It has to be like... a reflex. It has to be quick. Because the second you start gathering waking data, it's like writing over your short term memory, it's deleting the dream. So you have to be quick. And... I just don't have that reflex freshly trained, and I haven't been setting that before bed intention. Maybe I should, why not?

I don't remember the dream but I know it was about my mom, and my stress and problems hurting her, and me feeling a lot of guilt. And I'll process that at a different time. Honestly. She's choosing this and she can take space if my grief and pain are too much, I really can't do that for her.

So I started the day on low fuel. I moved downstairs to the comfy chair and passed out. That strategy works pretty well. I woke up to a Starcraft caster that was... saying some really weird shit. Like... he was comparing someone who was raging in a game to a yapping little dog, and going on this diatribe as though he was doing the world a service by putting these people on display, because it's like shitting on shitty behavior? And somehow that like... makes it good? Like laughing at people who are being abusive, in a public setting, as a gang... is... healthy? Is good? And... monetizing it? And making it a whole series? I mean... you're literally making money off of nerds with anger issues hurling racial slurs at each other. And yeah, man, I mean... if that's what you want to do... but like... Does anyone remember "two wrongs don't make a right?" Anyone? I feel like fucking 9/10ths of the human race just blinked and forgot every fucking moral lesson we grew up with.

Well... maybe they didn't grow up with it. And maybe I never heard their opinions until now. Because now literally everyone is on the internet, and you have to hear their unfiltered thoughts, when before they would just talk to people around them locally. That's probably it, honestly.

Yeah, that just set me off on a bad note. Again, specifically that he went on this like 5 entire minute explanation of how him putting shitty behavior on public display, shaming and mocking it, was really the best way to handle that. And that's like... so fucking far beyond wrong. Okay, I actually pulled the video back up to reference this, that's how much it stuck with me. He was saying that he made an entire series out of "making fun of idiots", and that it's not just to serve the purpose of making fun of idiots, but also to remind us that we also have been those idiots too and we all have moments like that, where we're tempted to be shitty to others... and by watching him publicly humiliate these people, it serves as a reminder that like... if you do vent on someone and say shitty things... maybe it will end up on YouTube with someone "commentating" it and publicly shaming you, with your name displayed for the world to see. Yep. See, he had me in the first half - and remember, I woke up to this sentence... - and I was like.. "yeah, definitely take that moment of self-awareness, definitely think before you say something hurtful, give yourself some perspective". And he just took a gigantic right turn with it and decided to stress that the primary reason why you should not be shitty to a fellow player of a highly competitive niche game with a small community full of like-minded individuals is because if you do... something really bad will happen to you. Super healthy. Bravo. Like, it made my skin crawl. If the only thing that's going to make you even think twice about being really shitty and hurtful to someone, and lash out at them over a fucking video game, is... the threat of someone being several degrees of magnitude shittier to you? ... You've got some pretty big problems to work on.

I managed to cleanse the palate. Yoga was very calm and nice and then escalated super quick in like the last third. It was nice overall and actually opened up some spots in my shoulders that I've had suspicions have been problem areas for a while that have been pretty severely neglected.

I cooked "breakfast", first time in a while. I used to cook breakfast every day, but... the pets' medical shit and the move put me in a "quick meals" mentality that I quickly got used to. So it was nice to make some eggs and sausage again.

I got started on my mom's mala, which ended up being a whole-day project. I just finished it about an hour ago. It's very big, I have no idea how you're supposed to wear it, but... it's done. I spent most of the day working on the guru bead. I needed to drill a third hole in it, to pull the ends of it through. I tried my shitty dremel... I swear to god, this thing... using a drill bit... on full power... was struggling to drill through soft cheap pine wood. I finally got two somewhat good (though the holes are not lined up properly). I took hers and painted it with the gold metallic paint I got and let it dry as I showered.

I did some pretty cool basic floral mandala designs on it, it looked pretty cool. Then I started the Mod Podge. I did 5 layers. After dinner - yep, it took that long - I got started with the process of smoothing it. Since I had problems last time, I went with 600 grit wet sandpaper instead of 400 grit dry. And... I once again somehow sanded through the Mod Podge all the way to the wood. I have no idea how. And the bead was basically ruined at that point, because the gold was sanded off too. So... I started to pick at that spot a tiny bit and... lo and behold... I was able to remove pretty much the entire bead worth of paint in one coat. The acrylic just pulled right off the bead. So, strategy for next time... mid grit sanding - like... 200-400 grit? - before painting. These beads are probably too smooth and need something for the paint to grip on, I think scuffing it first might help. That's my theory, at least. Worth testing. That was super frustrating though.

It ended up working out, because I just said fuck it and went with an organic wood bead, not a painted one... and I think it works better. The mala is on a thin hemp cord, knotted between beads. The primary beads are 8mm garnets, the marker beads (at 10 and 20) are 10mm moonstone with copper crimps to keep them stable, my knots there were too small. So, honestly, I think the wooden bead might even work better than the gold one would have. I used the beeswax/walnut oil finish on it, it looks pretty. And then I made a tassel out of variegated hemp twine, wrapped in black. Still on the fence whether the black was a good choice but... as a whole, I think it looks nice. It's a bit heavy, and the knots added a lot of length to it, but I think it came out great.

So... that's been most of my day.

I got some unpacking done. 2 months after moving in, but still... I got some wooden crates that I stacked as a bookshelf of sorts, now I have something to actually put my shit in. So I sorted most of my books and stacked the crates. But... okay, my apartment is basically one big downstairs room and a loft bedroom upstairs. All my art stuff, music stuff and computer are against the right wall, where I am now. The entire left wall is just lined with other boxes. And my TV is hovering somewhere in that area, still sitting on my display case coffee table because I still don't have a TV table. Or a futon. Or like any of the furniture my mom and I were planning on getting me set up with back in early October. So... the space looks odd, and it's hard to figure out like... where to put the crates. It's just 3 wooden crates leaning against a big empty wall. Hard to describe, but it's weird and hard to plan around. But... I guess it's not the end of the world, because I can just move that shit around.

And, while sorting, I put some stuff into that walk-in storage space I have. So I actually got shit off the floor. Pretty happy with myself for that.

I might need to get a solid inventory of my stuff... then take another trip to Michaels for more of these crate things. I don't know. I really need a worktable for art stuff. But... I have a sinking feeling it's just going to be this drafting table, once my computer desk that was supposed to be a christmas gift finally gets here. It's not the end of the world, this drafting table has gotten me through... college and beyond... Legit, I think I got this thing in like... 2008? My only problem with it is... it's not steady. It wobbles. No matter how I try to get it set up properly, it always wobbles, so doing any kind of work where I need a steady surface, or something to clamp a vice to... this table just disappoints me.

I guess I'll try to take it one chunk at a time and just knock out home design that way. But it's coming along, and that progress is really big for me, so I'm celebrating that.

I'm extremely tired, bye.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

1.) The funniest part about this is how I haven't even written a Harrymort fic in a very long time cuz I've had no inspiration for it or HP in general. Also, if you consider it pedophilia to write about two consenting adults taking 200,000 words(and several years in-fic) to finally realize they like each other, then there is no hope for your reading comprehension. Stick to 3rd Grade Level stuff, pls. It'll save all of us the trouble.

2.) Dave is no slave. He is a dumbass. He is racist. Sexist. Homophobic. A liar. A cheater. A thief. A bum. Dave spent 1 1/2 years doing nothing as we dealt with homelessness. I wrote over 1 million words for pay to keep us in motels that entire time while he claimed his leg was too injured to work. And spent every day demanding to know, 'did anyone give us money yet?' cuz he wanted sweets. Dave got us into this mess by opening his mouth over things not his business. Dave lied about every step of the way here. He's literally being blackmailed cuz he thought he met a chick online who could lead to a quick fuck and instead was dumb enough to tell her all his personal business and now she's holding the well-being of his daughter and grandkids over his head if he doesn't pay her.

3.) I am the only person here who can take care of my mom 24/7. I'm literally her personal caregiver. I clean the house. I cook the food half the time. I am her legs for everything she can't manage. I'm also in terrible health and desperately need to see several doctors but every time we bring it up, Dave makes excuses over MOM'S van cuz he knows she can't defend herself and I can't see well enough to get a license. I haven't had my teeth looked at in 8 years and I haven't had an eye exam in 7. Dave bitches about having to take his own child to the doctor and was even willing to get in trouble with the school over not having her medical paperwork up to date. Mom hasn't been able to get her meds in over a year cuz Dave prioritizes ice cream over medicine and bitches when she won't give him money for snacks.

4.) I am Visually Impaired and Hard of Hearing. I cannot see and I struggle to hear all the ime. I am also colorblind. Stoplights either look off, or always yellow. I can't tell distances. I can't see details in things just a few feet away. You want me to actually do something, when I actively do what I am capable of. I'm not capable of much and the health conditions have piled on more and more.

5.) How you can dick ride for a man you don't even know is beyond me. How you can hear all this shit about him and think he's a swell guy and not a literal useless scumbag who can't even be bothered to keep his kid and grandkids safe from strangers on the internet, idk.

6.) How anyone could call Dave the innocent in this situation is laughable. Fuck the disabled woman he's betrayed countless times despite telling everyone they're fiancés and in love when he wants sympathy from people while he cheats with strange women he meets on Facebook. Fuck his daughter and grandchildren whom he has put in danger all for the sake of cheating. Fuck all the connections he's ruined in his life cuz his greed and obsession with racing put everything at risk. Fuck the fact that he can't even help us actually do the moving ANY of the times we've had to move because of him.

He's just a poor wittle man who can do no wong ever. T_T He's just so sad and hurt. He needs the big stwong Anon to come in an save the day. T_T

Sometimes you can just tell an incel wrote something, and this whole Anon was red flags from one side to the other. People who throw around the pedo accusation over a ship they don't like always end up being pedos themselves too. It's like clockwork. How bout you turn that finger back in your own direction, hun? Seek mental help and perhaps someone someday will finally give a damn about your existence. ^-^

Maybe if your daughter got up off her ass and helped out more especially in the past while instead of sitting around writing pedo fic about harry potter and Voldemort then you'd have got everything moved on instead of leaving till last second

She has no excuses

Dave is working his ass off providing for you all , for his faults and you begrudge him the slightest thing. If he left you'd all know about it - wouldn't know Ur ass from your elbow but u keep whining about him while being happy to take his money and see him slave for u. Yeah he's fucked up but fr he is a man under pressure he is gonna fuck up and do crazy shit that man is heading for nervous breakdown

Why doesn't your older daughter go to work instead of sitting on her big ass writing shit and playing video games 24/7. Why don't you apply for disability and keep trying cos I know it's hard. Bethy when she is bigger is gonna be hit with picking up the slack if I drive Dave off so u need to start looking for work too or disability so money is coming on

U wannabe a trad wife ok that's fine but when Ur man is cracking up etc you can't stay at home cleaning house etc id love for you to be safe and so do all that housewife stuff but you're in a crisis so you gotta toughen up and get working or more importantly your daughter has to

Ok, Coward, let's me take the trash out. @helly-watermelonsmellinfellon doesn't write pedo fics. You are either virginal and can't find anyone willing to touch you or you are jealous that you lack the talent to write. Frankly, I think it's both. Who would want to deal with such a vile piece of work like you?

Let's get something straight, you illiterate jackass. Dave is not my man. We have a child together. That's it.

Dave pays rent. I pay everything else. Oh, would you look at that. I PAY EVERYTHING ELSE. Do the math, dimwit. I don't take a damn dime from him. He does take money from me. Based on how you are trying to make it sound like you know Dave, it makes me wonder is you are the sleezeball that has been illegally blackmailing him.

And I don't know where you think you can come on Tumblr of all places and attack me and my family. You don't know jack shit about us. What you have read on Tumblr is just a drop in the bucket, you worthless piece of filth.

You send me this message trying to talk a big game but you hide behind the cloak of anonymity. You're too chicken shit to put a name to your comment. You're a nothing but a sorry ass joke that no one will ever take seriously.

Grow up, wonder skank.

BTW: Dave and I were never married. I detest marriage. I also detest cowards like you. So go pound sand.

@helly-watermelonsmellinfellon have at the bitch. I would love to see you tear this coward to shreds.

@mister-tom-a-dildo-lover

[cegantheayugipi]

a glitch in the matrix - or crack(heads) in the abyss

A Genshin Crack Fic (Genshin x fem!reader x2)

Note: I have nothing to say, except for a sincere apology those who actually read this.

Lost? Here's the Masterlist.

Summary: This is a product of my insanity... I started a comedy fic, but decided that it wasn't comedic enough so I wrote this. It's a crack-SAGAU double female reader-insert with A/N and B/N instead of Y/N for the names. I know a lot of people hate reading in third person but how the heck else am I gonna write two readers in one story (I'm sorry).

Pairings: Zhongli x A/N, a Childe x hateful!B/N I guess.

About the characters:

A/N is a massive Zhongli simp. Her life revolves around Zhongli. She is pretty much a Genshin addict and has been playing for a couple of years.

B/N is relatively new to Genshin Impact. She's a little... weird. Definitely was a crackhead in a previous life. Totally no hatred for Childe going on. Definitely no hilichurl sympathy going on.

“Thank fuck we got that over with!” B/N exclaimed into the voice call, mashing buttons to aimlessly jump around the snow of dragonspine as Diluc.

“Yeah, dragonspine is always a pain.” A/N responded, her voice crackling across the call thanks to poor internet connection. 

“Is your brother streaming something again?” B/N asked, “You sound like a robot.”

“Probably.” A/N shrugged, although nobody could see it through the call. “Where to next?”

A familiar yet deep voice startled both girls as it came from behind them.

“You normally lead the way without asking.”

Both girls blinked at the same time. 

Why were they suddenly standing? 

And why was it so cold? 

And why was Zhongli standing right behind them?

“Oh my god.” A/N gawked as she stared up at the literal man of her dreams.

“Geo Daddy?” B/N murmured, frozen in place.

“Shut up, this is my moment!” A/N exclaimed, racing to hug the tall Archon.

“You two look different than I expected.” Diluc’s voice came from behind B/N. Her mouth dropped open, as she slowly turned around to see the famous redhead.

“Are we-”

“In this world?” Zhongli asked. “It appears so.” He looked down at A/N whose face was buried in his chest, and a light pink dusted his cheeks. “Is this a normal way to greet people in your world?”

His question went unanswered.

“Holy shit.” B/N blurted out. “I’m going to inazuma! Where’s my map?” She felt around her body, not used to these strange clothes she appeared in.

“If we’re going to Inazuma, we’re bringing Zhongli!” A/N responded cheerfully, still hugging her precious geo Archon.

B/N finally found the map, pulling it open. “Aha, Oni abs here I come!” Her eyes scanned across the paper and its lit up teleporters, and she realized that the entire region of Inzauma was dark.

“W-we were co-oping on my world.” B/N murmured.

“Yeah, because you’re still new.” A/N responded, finally turning her head away from Zhongli’s chest. “You’d literally die in my world.”

“We can’t teleport to Inazuma yet.” B/N added, her voice weak.

“We just have to take a boat then.” A/N shrugged, her hands still holding Zhongli’s shirt tight.

“M-my Oni abs.” B/N let go of the map, and it disappeared in a cloud of golden glitter. Her face was blank, evidently devastated by the fact that she couldn’t just teleport to Inazuma. She fell to her knees dramatically, then curled up into a ball on the freezing cold and snowy ground of dragonspine.

“Come on, B/N!” A/N exclaimed, “You’re gonna freeze to death if you stay like that.”

“No.” The stubborn weeb responded. “Just send me back home.”

A/N could see the sheer cold bar increasing on her friend, so she left Zhongli’s side to grab B/N’s arm.

“Come on, let’s get to this lantern over here to warm you up!” A/N urged.

“No.” B/N remained curled up on the ground. “If I die, maybe I’ll go back home.” A/N rolled her eyes and began to drag her friend through the snow towards the lantern, but it was really difficult.

“Hey. Can one of you guys help me?!” A/N shouted, struggling to drag B/N towards the heat source.

“I’ve got her.” Diluc spoke calmly, bending down to hook his arm around her torso and lift her up on his shoulder.

“You should be careful as well, A/N.” Zhongli spoke up, noting her status bar as well.

“Oh hahaha, yeah.” A/N picked up the pace to reach the lantern faster. The three of them warmed up by the lantern, B/N still hanging limp over Diluc’s shoulder.

“So, have you decided where you’ll go next?” Zhongli asked, and A/N sighed.

“I’m not sure.” She responded.

“I just wanna go home.” B/N mumbled. 

“How about you come to Liyue harbor?” Zhongli suggested. “It’s a beautiful place.”

“I would absolutely LOVE to!” A/N squealed, grabbing onto Zhongli’s sleeve. “Will you show me around to all the good places?”

“It would be my pleasure.”

“I have some work to catch up on at the winery.” Diluc spoke. “What should I do about this one?” He gestured to the depressed B/N.

“Oh, there’s no way I’m leaving her alone here.” A/N responded quickly. “She can come with me and my hu- I mean me and Zhongli.”

A/N could hear B/N’s muffled scoff from where her face was buried in Diluc’s back. “Okay, I’ll go with you. Now let me down, fireboy.”

Diluc’s face went pink at B/N’s nickname for him, not that she could notice from where she was hanging off his shoulder. He slowly set her back onto her feet, hesitating for a second in case she decided to just curl up in a ball on the ground again.

“Okay, let’s teleport.” A/N spoke, finding her own map.

“I’m not sure if you can-” Zhongli spoke, his voice falling off as A/N tried touching the teleporter in liyue harbor and nothing happened.

“How do you use these things?” She asked.

“I don’t think they work for you two anymore.” Diluc commented. 

“WHAT?!” A/N exclaimed. “So we have to WALK to Liyue harbor?!” 

“Actually, there’s a small harbor by the cliffs to the east of Dragonspine.” Zhongli explained. “We can take a boat after we descend the mountain.”

“This can’t be real.” B/N murmured, falling back onto her knees to curl up into a ball.

“Girl, come on!” A/N grabbed B/N’s arm once again, trying to pull her back upright.

“I give up.” B/N added, her tone completely dejected.

“Diluc, Zhongli, help me!” A/N exclaimed.

~~~

The two girls and the Geo Archon were finally on the boat headed for Liyue harbor. Diluc had to carry B/N down the mountainside of Dragonspine, but now that she was sitting on the boat headed for Liyue harbor, she finally began to cheer up. 

“Do you think the food is good in this world?” B/N asked.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. Of course it’s gonna be good!” A/N responded, rolling her eyes.

The boat trip went faster than expected, only lasting a couple of hours. Before they knew it , the two girls were stepping out onto the docks of Liyue harbor.

“Okay, I’m starving!” B/N exclaimed. “First thing’s first, let’s get some food!” 

“We haven’t even gone anywhere yet, and you’re already thinking about food?” A/N questioned in disbelief.

“I know a place we can go.” Zhongli spoke.

“Third round knockout?” A/N and B/N both asked in unison. 

“How did you know?” He asked, mildly surprised. B/N and A/N exchanged glances. “Oh…” Zhongli spoke, understanding that you two were quite literally a part of him previously.

The two girls gazed around the beautiful Liyue harbor as Zhongli led them to his favorite restaurant. Well, technically they could have gone on their own, since they had seen the city so many times before.

“It’s so much prettier than through a screen!” A/N exclaimed.

“Oh my god, I want to start a business now.” B/N added.

“Wait, what?” A/N paused, looking at B/N in confusion.

“I feel like I should get rich.” She shrugged. “But I agree. This is way better than looking at my computer screen. Can we actually go inside the buildings now?” 

“I recommend keeping your origins a secret.” Zhongli spoke, his voice quieter than usual. “There’s no telling what might happen if the public found out about you.”

“Oh yeah, that’s a good idea.” A/N responded, smiling up at Zhongli.

The three finally arrived at third round knockout, and Zhongli asked for a table indoors this time. B/N and A/N exchanged excited glances at the chance to eat indoors in a restaurant in Liyue. In Liyue, in Genshin Impact!

Almost as soon as the three of them sat down, a tall ginger sat down in the fourth seat. Both B/N and A/N instantly recognized the man – Childe, the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger. Otherwise known as water boy, or sometimes referred to as the “menace” by B/N when doing domains.

“Xiansheng, who are these pretty ladies you’ve brought with you?” He gave a dashing smile, undoubtedly in an effort to both flirt and to sweeten up the conversation to find out more information. 

B/N and A/N exchanged glances. B/N looked like she was holding something in, and everyone at the table immediately found out what it was as she burst into uncontrollable laughter. A/N was quick to follow, as Childe had a confused and mildly horrified expression on his face.

“Childe.” Zhongli spoke through the roaring laughter. “These are two… companions of mine.”

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow, and A/N immediately stopped laughing to correct Zhongli.

“He means friends! We’re friends! Nothing more than that!” Her cheeks grew red as she waved her hands in front of her.

B/N paused her laughter for just long enough to cut in with a “not yet,” raising her eyebrows at A/N suggestively. They both immediately continued laughing even harder.

“I can’t with you!” A/N exclaimed.

“You never can!” B/N shouted back. 

It took a while for the table to calm down, and Childe finally began to get the conversation he was aiming for once the waiter came by and Zhongli ordered the food for everyone.

“So, what brings you two here?” Childe asked.

“Apparently, issues with my compu-” B/N paused, realizing she had messed up. “My competition.” She coughed. “I’m a competitive eater. But I haven’t been doing well.”

“Oh, a tiny thing like you, being a competitive eater?” Childe smirked.

“Watch it, water boy. She can eat.” A/N was quick to back B/N up. 

“Water boy?” Childe raised his eyebrows. B/N gave A/N a glare for mentioning his vision when they were meant to know nothing about him yet.

“Yeah, you make it kinda obvious you carry a hydro vision.”

“Oh, how observant of you.” He gave a fake smile, as gears began to turn inside his head. “Do you two have visions, perhaps?”

“Hah!” B/N chortled. “Bold of you to assume we have visions.”

A/N leaned over to whisper in B/N’s ear. “Do we have visions?”

“I think we’d know if we did.” B/N whispered back.

The stress Zhongli was experiencing was getting worse and worse as the conversation continued. Thankfully, however, the waiter appeared with the food. Zhongli had also ordered wine, and a second server came to pour glasses for everyone.

Zhongli took one sip of the wine, and began to say his classic line.

“Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remembe-”

“But where are those who share the memory?” A/N and B/N responded in unison. 

“I-” Zhongli didn’t know what to say.

“You say that a lot.” A/N explained.

“Yeah. Don’t you have more stuff to say?” B/N added.

Childe didn’t utter a single word, only took a long sip from his glass of wine. Zhongli followed, taking another large sip.

“Um, we’re both a bit of a lightweight.” A/N spoke. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to…” She trailed off, watching B/N take a long sip from her glass as well.

“Damn, that wine is pretty good after all.” B/N shrugged, taking a second sip.

“Be careful, girl!” A/N responded, laughing. “You don’t want to end up in a gutter tonight.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen.” Childe responded.

“That would be even worse.” A/N’s smile disappeared as she spoke those words with a completely straight face.

A/N took a sip from the wine, but it definitely went straight to her head. She leaned backwards a little, and almost fell off of the stool. Zhongli’s arm was around her in an instant, making sure that she wouldn’t fall.

“T-thank you.” A/N murmured, looking up at Zhongli who looked down at her with a caring gaze. A/N’s heart pounded in her chest, and she didn’t know if it was from Zhongli’s arm around her or if it was from the alcohol. At the same time, B/N couldn’t tell if A/N was blushing from the wine or from her interaction with Zhongli.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli asked.

“Yeah, I’m just not very good with alcohol. I prefer Osmanthus tea, actually.” She responded.

“I’ll have the waiter bring some for you, then.” Zhongli responded quickly.

“Oh, you don’t need to do that…” A/N responded, looking down.

“Girl, you and alcohol really don’t mix.” B/N responded. “You should have the tea instead.”

“I could say the same about you.” A/N retorted, “Your face is bright red.”

“Hey. If you insult my natural complexion one more time,” B/N began jokingly, and A/N began to laugh. Zhongli smiled at the two of you having fun. There was a strange feeling that filled his chest, like he was finally seeing something that he was missing from his life.

The four continued to eat and drink into the late hours of the evening. Eventually, however, everyone began to get tired and agreed to go home for the night.

“Where are you two staying? I can walk you back.” Childe spoke once he was finished paying for the dinner.

“Bold of you to assume I have a place to stay.” B/N instantly retorted, evidently drunk.

“Y-yeah, we only arrived at Liyue harbor today.” A/N was quick to cut in. It was the truth, technically.

“You are always welcome at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.” Zhongli offered politely. “After all, Childe is staying with us there at the moment.”

“Wait, you guys sleep in a MORGUE?!?” B/N exclaimed.

“NO!” A/N shouted back. “It’s a funeral parlor, where they plan funerals!”

“A/N is correct, we only arrange funeral rites.” Zhongli added. 

“So no dead bodies?” B/N asked.

“No, I definitely wouldn’t be staying there if they dealt with dead people.” Childe spoke jovially, his face also a little red from the wine.

“Can we stay with you tonight?” A/N asked as she grabbed onto Zhongli’s sleeve.

“Of course you may.” Zhongli responded as he gave her a gentle smile. A/N looked into his eyes and felt like she could faint. How was she still going so crazy for this man?

The four arrived at Wangsheng funeral parlor after a brief walk. The doors were shut, and the lights inside were off, since it was well past business hours. Zhongli opened the door and allowed everyone inside.

“What have you been up to, old man?” A/N and B/N instantly recognized Hu Tao’s voice.

“Ah!” Childe exclaimed, jumping. The lights went on, and everyone turned around to see Hu Tao standing by the door, her hand on top of the light switch.

“Hu Tao, it’s past your bedtime.” Zhongli spoke, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You’ve been out all day, and with these two strange ladies. Even Ginger came around looking for you and couldn’t find you anywhere!” Hu Tao gave Childe a menacing glare, and he gave a weak and awkward laugh in response.

“You’re even cuter in real life!” B/N squealed, reaching out to pinch Hu Tao’s cheeks.

“Um, yeah, she’s cuter in person, because Zhongli told us about his boss,” A/N began to ramble. “And he talked about what she looked like, so we’re only seeing what she really looks like now, and that’s why B/N is saying she looks even cuter now that she’s seeing Hu Tao-”

A/N was cut off by Zhongli who placed a hand on her shoulder.

“How about we all head to sleep?” He spoke calmly in his deep voice. “It is quite late, after all.”

“Yeah. I’m really tired.” B/N yawned.

“Did you think this through, old man?” Hu Tao cut in. “We only have one spare bedroom, which Childe is using.”

“I assumed I would sleep on the couch.” Zhongli spoke as he began to lead everyone upstairs.

“N-no, I wouldn’t make you do that!” A/N cut in. 

“You are guests,” Zhongli added. “You should be taken care of.” Zhongli gave a glance at Childe, as if the harbinger should be saying something to support his statement. The guest bedroom was the same size as Zhongli’s, after all, and Childe had been staying at the parlor for so long that he might as well be a permanent resident.

Something finally clicked in Childe’s head, and he raised his eyebrows.

“Oh,” He spoke. “I would gladly share a bed with one of you fine ladies.” 

“No thanks.” B/N and A/N spoke in unison. Zhongli laughed.

“Okay guys I’m going to sleep. Don’t bother me until morning.” Hu Tao spoke as she walked down the hall to her own room.

Zhongli got to his room, and opened the door. A/N and B/N exchanged glances, as if they were communicating psychically. Something was decided between the two, because B/N turned around and walked towards Childe.

“Actually, I’ll take you up on that offer.” B/N spoke boldly.

“Oh, really?” Childe smirked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” B/N nodded. “But you take the couch.” 

Childe laughed awkwardly, as A/N began to speak up.

“Uh… um… Zhongli,” She looked down at the floor, nervous. “Would you like to share the bed with me tonight? Together?”

“Are you sure?” Zhongli asked. “I wouldn’t want to put you in an inappropriate position.”

“Yes, yes I’m very sure!” A/N added.

“Is sharing a bed so soon after meeting a normal custom where you are from?” He asked softly.

“Yes it is, now just agree to it already!” B/N exclaimed as she walked away. A/N felt like she was dying inside thanks to her friend. Childe seemed to notice what Zhongli was asking about, and wondered where the two girls could be from.

As Zhongli opened his bedroom door and let A/N in, Childe led B/N down the hall to the guest bedroom. 

The room was plain, apart from a few decorations that gave it a signature Liyue feel. There was a couch by the left wall, and a dresser on the right. A bed was placed against the far wall, with a wooden nightstand stood beside it. The bed looked only large enough for one person, and B/N knew that person was going to be herself. 

Childe smiled to himself as he stepped into the guest room. As the ginger Fatui Harbinger led B/N in, he began to underhandedly interrogate her.

“Are there many things that are different where you come from?” Childe asked as he walked towards the dresser. He took off the mask tied to the side of his head and began to unbutton his shirt. B/N didn’t know how her clothes worked since she just appeared in them that morning, and the alcohol was definitely getting to her head so she simply kicked her shoes off and flopped onto her back onto the bed. 

“I guess so.” B/N responded.

“Where exactly are you from, anyway?” a shirtless Childe asked, as he turned away from the dresser and began to walk towards the bed.

“Isn’t there a couch right there with your name on it?” B/N pointed to the couch across the room as Childe stood at the edge of the bed.

“But isn’t it normal-”

“Couch, now!” B/N raised her foot and put it on Childe’s bare chest, pushing him back away from the bed. 

“Okay, okay.” Childe sighed, turning around and walking back to the bed.

~~~

Meanwhile, in Zhongli’s room, A/N was blushing like crazy. There was zero alcohol in her system at this point, but the mere sight of Zhongli taking the hair clip out of his hair had her entire brain going haywire. He placed it on the ornate vanity, and turned towards A/N who was standing beside his rather large bed.

“Are you sure you are okay with this?” Zhongli asked.

“Yes, please!” A/N yelped, staring up at the tall brunette.

Zhongli nodded, his hands traveling to the buttons of his jacket. A/N simply stared at him as she finally got to see his toned and perfect chest. There was practically drool coming out of her mouth as she took in Zhongli’s bare torso. Any thoughts or feelings about being teleported into another world left her head as her only thoughts became about the gorgeous Geo Archon.

 Zhongli turned to look at A/N, and she immediately realized she should be getting ready for bed herself. She began to fumble with the buttons on her complicated cape, but the clothes were confusing and much too complicated.

“Do you need help?” Zhongli asked.

“U-uh…” A/N trailed off, her face bright red as she looked down at her clothing. “I don’t know how my clothes work.”

“What do you mean?” Zhongli asked, raising his eyebrows.

“I just showed up in them today…” A/N explained, “clothes where I’m from are much more simple.”

“Oh, I see.” Zhongli asked, then he paused for a moment. A/N looked up at him, and tilted her head to the side as she tried to figure out what was going on in Zhongli’s head. “May I…” He trailed off, lifting a hand towards the buttons of her overcoat. 

“Oh,” A/N began to blush even more. “Y-yes…” 

As Zhongli’s fingers worked dexterously and gently, more and more blood began rushing to A/N’s head. Zhongli, the Geo Archon, the man of her dreams, was undressing her.

As Zhongli began to slip the cloak over her shoulders revealing her dress underneath, A/N began to feel dizzy from all the blood rushing to her head.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli caught her shoulders as she swayed.

“Yeah, I think I’m just tired.” A/N spoke.

“You’ve become quite red…” Zhongli noted.

“Y-yeah, that’s normal, all things considered.” A/N explained.

“Perhaps you should lay down,” He responded.

“Yeah.” A/N nodded, moving to sit down on the bed. Everything seemed so unreal as she watched Zhongli sit down beside her. The two of them slowly laid down on the bed next to each other, not touching each other. The two of them stared at the ceiling for a couple of moments, in an awkward silence.

“Uh, can I…” A/N spoke up once again. “Can I use you as a pillow?”

“Of course.” Zhongli spoke, and A/N slowly wrapped her arms around Zhongli and moved her head to rest on his bare chest.

Oh man, was A/N in heaven.

The two settled into a comfortable silence, and were fast asleep.

~~~

Read Part 2 here.

[kingdarkstalker]

I don’t feel like rewording this so here’s my original post:

Wings of Fire’s third arc reads like Tui Sutherland is one of those (white) people who gets offended by people bringing up slavery and discussing how 1600s-1800s white slave owners and slavery endorsers are bad people who should know better, so wrote an entire arc of books on why racism and fascism aren’t caused by indoctrination, hate, and selfish people benefitting off of the oppression of others, but a fucking magic aliens plant and a couple people it’s puppeting, and and all the fascist, racist, sadistic, child-bullying, dictator-supporting, environment-destroying, slave-owning individuals who choose to engage in a system that oppressed and exploits others for their own personal gain aren’t that bad, but all the people who feel like it’s necessary to use violence to rise up and overthrow the oppressors that have been literally endangering their lives are very bad.

The tags mention that I’m a white person not attempting to speak on behalf of BIPOC people, but just pointing out that I see a white person being moronic and problematic.

Can you tell I’m mad the HiveWings frequently get more sympathy than the LeafWings? The LeafWings, the race who was almost wiped out, with half their remaining population resorting to violence out of desperation, get less sympathy than fascists. Like, I get they’re immediately racist to all HiveWings, but you can teach them to cut that out while still having consequences for the majority of the HiveWings that either directly participated in or allowed slavery because they benefit off of it, which the series doesn’t. Or wait until after they can stop fearing for their lives every day. And Sundew’s racism towards SilkWings are hardly a footnote because it’s all about the HiveWings, like they’re the victims here.

This is disgusting and I’ll forever be grateful I didn’t turn into one of these people. And yeah, Tui should fucking retire. ASAP. But she isn’t gonna do shit until the fans realise the shit she put in her books and call her out for it. What a lot of fans, particularly the younger ones, need to hear is just because someone is a nice person does not mean they are a good one; case in point, Tui is a foolish, wilfully ignorant, racist, aggressively victim-blaming abuse apologist who isn’t even that good of a writer when you look back on her books. Like, the whole “IceWings are tiger moms thing”.

I was reluctant to call this otherwise well-meaning woman a racist, but that video essay you recommended, revealing a legitimate clip of her confessing, humorously and without any sense of shame or regret, that she based most of the IceWings’ culture off of a fucking Asian stereotype, I felt horrified. That’s outright racist, whether she knows it’s a racist stereotype of Asian moms or not, aside from the she damn well SHOULD, she is a grown-ass woman with access to the internet. And the fact no one even showed any visible discomfort fustrared me. Too many people make excuses for this woman.

I’ve had enough, I’m pissed off, and it’s nice seeing I’m not the only one. I stg, without this blog, yourself, and the askers here, my mental health would be in shambles. I was a young child when I had to realise on my own how fucked this series was because I didn’t have any blog like this, I couldn’t find a soul in this fandom who called this out for years, and the wiki only made excuses for it like the fact they’ll disregard Tui’s word and make up their own ageing system to defend Glorybringer. Why is no one calling them out on this?

I am a split second away from making a Google Doc or Word Doc or something on the list of bullshit this woman has put in her series since no one else but a small handful of Tumblr users and a YouTuber feel like calling this out. Scholastic should be doing something for fuck sake! And this woman should NOT be writing childrens’ books, or making any kind of media, end of story.

👏👏👏👏👏👏

[blacksupremacy86]

The Cult Of Spiral

Part 1 - 3

Detective Jake Ray Combs drops his badge on to the office desk in his home turning on his laptop.

The internet pops Google on he begins his eight hour research as he just types away.

Getting up every few minutes or so put on a cup of coffee downing one after the other.

He stops removing his note pad from his jacket pocket, picks up a pen and starts to locate a sign.

He knows that he seen it before racing out of the house, he locks up heading to his car and and he speeds down to the cemetery.

He finally stops at the side of the cemetery setting the car by the gate, he places his hand on his gun.

Slowly he walks in to the lot checking out the entire area, reaching the far end of the lot a house can be seen.

He lets go do the latch lifting it in to his palm he graps the gun tightly, and points it ahead of him.

Kicking the door down he shouts out for any person in them to freeze, but at last he is alone.

He climbs up the staircase one step at a time a bit afraid of what is to come for him.

He remembers a time he was at this very same spot two years ago chasing this case.

He shook his head at the fact this story has yet to find a ending his thoughts broke out when a figure runs by him.

“Freeze” he yells to unsuspecting person who barely makes a sound or cares.

“Funny! Drop the gun now and get on your knees.” He says calmly.

“Fuck you! How are you making do this ?” He ask calmly.

Part 4 - 6

“Oh Officer you can stand again keep it up.” He continues.

“That gun can a barely hold up of point to me.” He taunts him.

“Let me go of I’ll drop you” the Officer states

“Demands need to have convinction” he adds

“They need someone who can back it up “ He states.

“So do it, shoot me “ the young man replies a cigar in his hand.

A liter in the other he does a little juggling act for the cop.

The cop begins to shiver and quake the fear is deep in him.

“What?” The words are so breathy hard to try and make out.

“I SAID SHOOT” the man howls.

The bullet goes off the bullet ricochets out of his shell.

The officer screams his foot leaps in to his hands as he jumps.

“Oooooowwwwwwwww” he can’t hide the pain.

“Fuck fuck fuck ffffuuuucccckkkk” the pure rage comes to the surface.

“Do you see now dipshit?“ I slap his face hard and bust out in cackles.

Page 7 - 9

My plan has a snap stage three if we are to be precise, he regains a bit of control.

I am at the precinct now in private room as I had planned, and he walks in.

His confidence returns with a rousing power and strength.

“We have proof, connections and a id.” He says dropping the case file.

“I don’t see anything, neither do you.” I am in awe watching his mouth drop.

“What did you to the file? Give it back.” The voice bounces.

“Fuck you! Take my hand in yours.” I call to him.

“Grab your gun, destroy my files and get me out of here.

“Yyyyyyeeeeesssss, now I will submit “ his voice subsides.

He takes my hand guiding me out as all in the building back up.

“Where are we going sir?”

“Zip it “

“Here is the address we have things to do “

“Sir Yes Sir”

“Hurry up you pig.”

The end

[carriagelamp]

Art of Aardman

I found myself a cheap copy of the Shaun the Sheep movie, so I was rewatching a bunch of Aardman films earlier this month and decided to hunt down some books too. For anyone that doesn’t know, Aardman is a British stop-motion studio that does fantastic work like Wallace and Gromit, Shaun the Sheep, Chicken Run, Early Man… tons of cool stuff. They’re always quirky and funny and warm-hearted. This was just a very nice art book for anyone that’s a fan of Aardman stop motion and wants to see a bit extra; it shows some cool concept art and blows up the neat details in Aardman work, especially in their intricate stuff like The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!

Asterix and the Picts (Asterix and the Chariot Race, and How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion)

I decided to try a couple of the new Asterix comics that were done by the new team, just to see if they stand up to the old ones (that and How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion cause I’d never read that one before). They were pretty decent! Asterix and the Picts was my favourite of the two though I wouldn’t say either are going to contest for my favourite Asterix comic... but still! The art looks good and the stories felt like what I would expect, they made for a pleasant couple evenings of reading especially since it’s been so long since I’ve read a new Asterix comic. If you’ve never read Asterix it’s one of the biggest name French comic series in North America, as far as I know and very worth the read. It’s about a single Gaulish village that’s holding out against the invading Romans through sheer force of will, slapstick hijinks, and a magical super-strength potion brewed by their druid. Lots of fantastic visuals and cute wordplay, even in the English translations.

Bear

I found out about this bastion of Canadian literature via tumblr post that was losing its collective mind over the fact that some bizarre bear-based erotica novella somehow won the most prestigious literary prize available in Canada. Since I too found this hilarious and unspeakably bizarre I had to give it a read, obviously. And yes, the flat surface level summary is... a librarian moves out into rural Ontario and falls in love with a literal for-real not-supernatural-not-a-joke bear. And I have to say… it is actually worthy of an award, which I was not expecting given that I was there for a laugh. It has beautiful writing, and the subtextual story is pretty interesting… it kind of makes me think of The Haunting of Hill House actually in terms of themes. (Womanhood, personhood, independence, autonomy partially achieved through escaping the male gaze by claiming non-human lovers... listen if I were still in university I would right a paper comparing the two novels).

I dunno man, it’s fucking weird. Actually a well-written book, but sure is about a woman falling in love with a literal bear. Give it a read if you want something bonkers but like… high-brow bonkers.

Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites

Best book I have read in like… a while. A long while. I am not a fast reader, and I consumed 90% of this book over a weekend. It’s not at all like Terry Pratchett, but at the same time it scratched an itch for me that I haven’t had satisfied since Pratchett’s death. A very clever, hilariously funny poly romance between a disabled werewolf, an anxious vampire lord, and an incredibly powerful woman, with heaps of social satire, political commentary, and sinister undertones. The whole thing reads a bit like fanfiction and I say that in the most flattering way possible -- it is so easy to jump right in and be immediately taken over by the characters and the world and the plot, you never feel like you’re fighting to engage even though the world-building is fascinating and expansive. It welcomes you in right away, it was the book equivalent of a quilt and a hug which is something I sorely needed with all this pandemic bullshit. If you read any of the books on this list, go read that one while I sit here in pain waiting for the sequel.

Kid Paddle

I watched the cartoon of Kid Paddle as a kid and was thinking about it recently, so I decided to hunt down some of the original comics online. They’re fun and weird, with a cute art style and fantastic monsters designs. (My favourites are always about Kid either daydreaming or playing games that involve Midam’s weird warty troll creatures. It’s like a cross between Calvin and Hobbes and Foxtrot with the fun sort of quirks that I love in Belgian comics. Unfortunately, unlike Asterix, I’ve only come across these ones in French, but if you can read French it’s totally worth popping over to The Internet Archive and reading the ones they have available.

The Last Firehawk: The Golden Temple

The lastest Firehawk book. Despite being written for quite young readers, I did enjoy the early books in this series quite a bit. They’re about a young owl and squirrel who found an egg for a magical species that was believed to be extinct. With the newly hatched firehawk, the three of them head off on a mission to find an ancient firehawk magic that could save the entire forest. Very basic adventure story but a good intro to the tropes for children. Unfortunately the quality really feels like it drops with each subsequent book; this will probably be the last one I bother reading.

Lumberjanes: The Moon Is Up

I honestly think I enjoy these Lumberjanes novels even more than the comics just because it really gives time to delve into each story and examine how the camper are really thinking and feeling about everything. (Also I’m always weak for novelizations of anything.) The Moon Is Up is a book that focuses more on Jo, and takes place during the camp’s much anticipated Galaxy Wars, a competition between cabins that goes over several days. While the campers prepare for these challenges though, they also run into a strange little creature with a penchant for cheese and theft. Roanoke cabin needs to keep ahead in Galaxy Wars and somehow deal with the fearsome Moon Pirates that a closing in...

Lumberjanes v4 (Out Of Time)

One of the Lumberjanes comics, a cool, girl-focused, queer comic series. Honestly, this is just a fun series that I never got as into as I should have. My advice is honestly to skip book one because it gets better as it continues, and I’ve really been enjoying the later books now that I’ve given it another go. It follows five campers at Miss Qiunzella Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet’s Camp for Hardcore Lady Types (Jo, April, Molly, Mal, and Ripley) as they handle all sorts of challenges, from friendship to crushes, camp activities to supernatural horrors, getting badges to not being brutally killed. Great if you liked the vibe of Gravity Falls but want it to be queer-er.

Mooncakes

Another queer graphic novel, but unfortunately not a very good one. It really looked appealing and I had high hopes, but the book itself really didn’t hold up… I actually couldn’t even finish it, the plot was just too… non-existent. The art is fairly mediocre once you actually look at it, especially backgrounds, and it feels very… placid. Not much conflict or excitement or even a very compelling reason to keep reading. If you just want a soft queer supernatural you may get more mileage out of it than me, but it didn’t really do it for me. There’s better queer graphic novels out there.

New Boy In Town

One of the worst books I have ever read. My girlfriend had ordered a very different book online but through a frankly stupendous error was sent this 1980s pulp romance instead. Absolutely nauseating on levels I couldn’t even begin to enumerate here. Naturally we read the whole thing out loud. Probably took us 10 times longer to finish than it warranted because I had to stop every two sentences to lose my mind. If you like bad decisions, baffling hetero courting rituals, built-in cultural Christianity without actually calling it that, and gold panning then boy howdy is this the book for you.

(seriously, you better have patience for gold-panning if you attempt this one, because I sure learn that I don’t)

Piggies

This was a picture book I enjoyed as a kid and had a reason to reread recently. Honestly it’s just very cute and simple, and the art is completely mesmerizing. Wonderful if you know a young child that would enjoy a simple goofy boardbook.

Shaun the Sheep: Tales From Mossy Bottom

Related to my Aardman fascination earlier this month. I tried reading a varieties of Shaun the Sheep books — most of which are mediocre at best — but the Tales From Mossy Bottom Farm series is genuinely good. Just chapter books, of course, but the illustrations match the series’ concept art and each story feels like it could have jumped directly out of an episode. They’re just cute and feel-good! Kinda like Footrot Flats but more for kids, and from the sheep’s perspective moreso than the dog’s.

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Pining

I’m posting half of this list first because I started it a long time ago and it’s taking me a while to go through all the fics. So I will update with more later. 

*** Mutual Pining *** Pining - I might put mutual pining under pining if we don't see much of the other person pining. *** Bonus - The pining is not between Evak 

For the anon from this ask.

I will try my best to separate out the mutual pining fics but I think it will be tricky if it's not tagged as that. So bear with me and let me know of any mistakes or fics I missed out on.

. First Posting : 11 July 2021. Under 15k fics.  .

******* Mutual Pining *******

Even the Illustrator by eavk (SERIES, 3 fics) - An AU where Even’s an illustrator who draws what kids describe to him for YouTube, and Isak is the smitten father of a six year old with a wild imagination.

Postcards by HedwigsTalons (1k words) - Isak's wall is covered in postcards. Isak is supportive of Even's career and he cherishes every postcard but the long distance relationship hurts.

Feelings Come and Go, But Not With You by ultimatelawrence (1.9k words) - It was meant to just be a holiday romance. A fling. Nothing like love. But now it was six months later and Even was still pining over the angel he had met in Paris.

let's pretend into forever by Bellakitse (2.3k words) - “Let me get this straight,” Even starts. “You lied to your boss about having a boyfriend, told her it was me, and now you need me to go with you to your science nerd dinner?”

i will love you until the very, very end (and you were my best friend) by traumatic (2.4k words) - Isak and Even share something in the cool waters of a spring fed pool that no one, not even their fiancées, could ever understand.

Breathe Me by photographer_of_thoughts (4.5k words) - A high school reunion brings Isak and Even together after ten years, and neither of them can forget what happened when they were both seventeen.

Everything comes back to you by MermaidsandMermen (4.8k words) - Light pining. A dribble oneshot for Halloween, full of fluff and Even and Isak and a tiny pinch of angst. Because we need some Halloween fluff. That's all.

Fuck Tha Police by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5.2k words) - “This,” Eskild said, spinning the photograph around so everyone could see it, “is a picture of the latest piece of vandalism from our favorite little street punk.” he finished with a heavy sigh. They are both cops.

i tried to be strong but i lost it (i knew it was wrong, i’m beyond it) (6.3k words) - Even has a thing for his intern, Isak has a thing for his boss, they're both a bit clueless and their friends just want them to get their shit together.

all I see is you by littlemovie (Lejla) (7.4k words) - “Aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m a bad person?” Isak somehow whined and demanded at the same time. Jonas blew out a breath in amusement, which made the dark curls on his forehead move with his breath. “I’m guessing it has something to do with that guy, Even, from the coffeeshop?”

Addicted by endlessandinfinite (8k words) - They’re both completely, overwhelmingly, and incredibly...addicted. Best friends to lovers.

Calleth You, Cometh I by Kollakolan (8.4k words) - “Isak!” Mikaels pipes up. “Didn´t you two have a thing?” he turns to Even. A thing, Even thinks to himself. Yes, Isak and him definitely had a thing. They actually had a low-key thing going for years, but it never really turned into something more. The timing was never right.

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley (9.9k words) - After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger.

Let Me by GayaIsANerd (10.6k words) - Summer brings a lot of things. The smell of sunscreen. The sound of children playing in the shallow part of the lake. The taste of cold beer. The sweet tang of weed. But most importantly, summer brings Isak.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by BluebeardsWife (10.8k words) - Fake dating AU, you know the drill. Even hires Isak to pretend to be his boyfriend at his ex's wedding. This Means Nothing to Me by cuteandtwisted (10.8k words) - Isak and Even are friends and roommates who don't believe in love anymore (after they both get dumped by other people) until they do. Aka the Friends/Roommates-To-Lovers Don't you let me go by solarpower21 (12.2k words) - In this universe, Isak and Even are roomates and nothing more. Except that there is something more between them and they both know that but are too stubborn to admit it. Too bad it takes a very unfortunate event for them to face the truth. Burn Down The Disco by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (12.2k words) - A 'Black Mirror: Hang The DJ' AU in which Isak and Even decide to rebel against a futuristic dating system that pairs users up with various people in order to find their perfect match.

La Petite Mort by EvenbechNeiheim (13.4k words) - Even Bech Næsheim is one of those cool and very hot media students at Uni who might just got the task to make a film project. Eskild is the best wingman and things like accidently falling in love with an asshole media student happen. Based on the FIRST KISS YouTube video that gave the internet an entire meltdown. 

when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by orphan_account (13.5k words) - Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else. 

Heal My Heart for Christmas by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee) (13.5k words) - It’s been ten years since Isak left his small town for the big city of Oslo with his father. He hardly even thought of his time there anymore. Until he received a letter from his mother asking him to come home for Christmas for the first time since he had left. 

Love in the Time of COVID: Battlestar Edition by sweetasmaple (14k words) - Isak and Even find each other again during the COVID-19 lockdown, one Battlestar Galactica episode at a time. 

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******* Pining *******

never seemed so alive by retts (1k words) - Nothing special, just four letters strung together to spell out E V E N but they made Isak's heart race and his face blush and his hands tremble.

Hopeless by waitineedaname (1k words) - Light pining. There was no way in hell Isak would be able to talk to Even. He was tall and cool and handsome, and Isak was pretty sure talking to him would make him spontaneously combust.

i could probably just curl up in you. by milominderbinder (1.3k words) - Isak is away at a cabin with the guys when he gets a text from Even. 'hey, babe, did you take my favourite hoodie?' He is, of course, outraged that Even would accuse him of such treachery. The fact that Isak is wearing the hoodie at that very moment has nothing to do with it.

stuck on you (what did i do?) by itjustkindahappened (1.8k words) - It’s not that Even doesn’t try to be friendly with him—Isak just makes it so hard. Whenever Even approaches, Isak either makes up a fumbling excuse to leave, or just becomes really stiff and refuses to acknowledge Even’s existence.

now and forever (i will be your man) by thekardemomme (2.2k words) -Warning for pain. 3 times isak kisses even +1

i be up in the gym just working on my fitness by orphan_account (2.3k words) - Even knows that he's quite literally going to die when he finds his crush sweating on an elliptical, reading a book with his glasses slipping down his nose.

You know where I stay by nofeartina (2.4k words) - Warning for pain. Isak is so beautiful first thing in the morning. When he still has creases in his face from the pillow, when his face is red and puffy from sleep, his hair all messed up and curly. Even prefers this Isak. This is his Isak, this is only for him.

won't you be my livewire by itjustkindahappened (3.2k words) - "i've been tryin to grab your attention in class for over half an hour by poking you and throwing things onto your desk and you're refusing to acknowledge me and gdi all i wanted to do was tell you that you look cute and now it's gone too far and i can't go back"

Cookies and Cream by GayaIsANerd (3.5k words) - Isak has a crush on the barista. He's too scared to do anything about it, but luckily there's a blizzard coming up.

i can feel the weather in my bones by EvenbechNeiheim (3.7k words) - Isak and Even are childhood friends. There’s a boyfriend sweater and Isak is just desperate to wear it.

On the silver screen by Lokkanel (4k words) - Isak was really not in the mood for this. He had a long week at work, and all he wanted was to relax with his friend, drink a few beers, maybe even smoke some weed and just chill. But no. When Jonas called him to say that he won tickets to the coolest indie film festival in Oslo, Isak knew he could forget his plans for a quiet and simple weekend.

I want to love you (in my own language) by fauu_stine (4k words) - “Okay. Maybe I’m not happy,” he admits in a resigned whisper. “Do you need a shrink discussion or a best friend discussion?” "I think- I think it’s more of a friend with benefits kind of talk."

Don't be an ass by Julieseven (4.1k words) - Even really tried to forget about him. It started out as a harmless little crush, really. He saw him at the karaoke bar SYNG one night, singing "I don't want to miss a thing" at the top of his lungs, clearly drunk out of his mind, but looking like an angel with his messy dark blond locks and crooked smile.

Little Black Book by Laika (4.3k words) - Isak Valtersen is studying his third year at the University of Oslo and having the time of his life. Enter Evy Bech Næsheim, straight out of Nissen, in his stockings, mini skirts and bubblegum scented lip gloss.

cracks in our foundation by towonderland72 (4.8k words) - “You know, like a thousand years ago, men used to wear makeup?” Even asks, as Isak gapes at himself.

Safest With You (Green Curtains) by eavk (5.3k words) - Isak keeps staying up too late studying at the library, but luckily there's an escort service that gives students a buddy to walk with to keep safe at night.

the one with the prom video by thekardemomme (5.5k words) - Even has been in love with Isak since they were younger, but he never intended for Isak to find out this way.

Senses by Lokkanel (5.5k words) - Sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste… Or Even falling in love with Isak, one sense at a time.

you're the one i wanna grey with (5.6k words) - They've only been dating a month, so Isak shouldn't be pathetic enough to miss Even this much when he's only gone for a weekend.

Orion's Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Light pining I think. Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line.

with the taste of a poison paradise by chasingflower (6k words) - It’s routine by now. Isak hangs out with his friends during the day and at night he kisses the Dream-Even that lives on the other side of the door in his living room, and basks in the warm fuzzy feelings he gets as a result of the attention. Coraline Au.

How to Get Your Man - A Plan By Even Bech Naesheim by Evakkk (6.1k words) - When Magnus drops a big secret in front of Even... Even comes up with a brilliant plan to get Isak to reveal his true feelings. All it takes is one little lie, and one crazy family reunion.

To Burn With Desire by photographer_of_thoughts (6.1k words) - AU in which Isak and Even are neighbours and Isak's father has a secret job that unintentionally helps Isak realize he's in love with his best friend.

Watermelon Sugar by MermaidsandMermen (6.6k words) - A little tribute to fruit and touching. To sex, and friendships and finding what you were looking for all along. And of course inspired by Harry Styles latest video offering, just because.

The Fake Boyfriend App by Crazyheart (7.2k words) - AU where Isak is desperately pining for his flatmate Even, and downloads a fake boyfriend app to get over him. When he discovers that the Fake boyfriend is a human, and not a bot, he is sceptical.

That look you give that guy by Lokkanel (7.4k words) - Isak and Even love each other in secret. It is almost thrilling at first, but when hiding and lying to their friends begin to take a toll on Even, Isak decides to end it all. He thinks he has taken the right decision, until Even eventually moves on with someone else.

my longing drives me crazy for you (7.7k words) - Isak's mum worries, Isak makes bad life decisions and Even loves Isak. It's a fake dating au.

I'm Always Here by nofeartina (9.3k words) - “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Oh, a pool. Actual water they could go swimming in and cool down. And also, Even.

a garden for your love by eggsntoast (9.3k words) - He’s learning to breathe with them, even if he ends up with a floor full of violets by the end of it all. They remind Isak of him, and that’s all that matters. That’s what makes it worse. or: a Hanahaki au ft. Isak heavily pining after Even. Lots of angst.

I wrote an angry letter to the void, and the void responded (9.5k words) - Monday comes, and the book is still there. Isak looks around, content to find the floor practically empty, before giving the book the finger. Fuck that book. - a book finds it's way to Isak's sacred study spot. this proves to be a major distraction.

a constant state of closeness by chevythunder (9.7k words) - “What is it about this dude, anyway?” Elias asks. “You’ve barely even talked to him, right?” “I don’t know,” Even says. “I just got this feeling, you know? Just- I want to make sure he’s okay and safe and… stuff.” - It starts with a hug.

Is This Our Time? by Evakkk (9.9k words) - This is a world where everyone is born with an indistinguishable soulmate mark... it only changes into something recognizable, once you have physical contact with your soulmate, and it's always something meaningful to the relationship. Both partners will bear the same mark. Isak is about to turn 18... and he's the only one in his friend group who still hasn't found their soulmate. But what happens when he goes out one night, gets drunk... and wakes up with his soulmate mark?

Is This What You Wanted? by cuteandtwisted (9.9k words) - Isak is filthy rich and Even is a hardworking male model who just got signed to his father's agency. Even gets an awful offer from Isak: one night with him in exchange for money, and begins to despise him. Little does he know that everything he thinks he knows about Isak is wrong.

Just like in the movies by Lokkanel (10.5k words) - As he began taking in his surroundings, Isak realized he was in one of those small theaters that programmed independent and artsy movies, even old black and white films. He was ready to turn around and walk away when he heard a deep voice say, “Halla.”

my tiny heartbeat in his ear by riyku (11k words) - Now, about a week after the longest day of the year, the empty house across the street has stopped being empty. most beautiful things by scarletbluebird (12.7k words) - This fic is a whole ass journey. Warning for pain. This isn’t a fairytale, Isak tells himself. Even is standing at the bend in the road. He looks like a metaphor for immortal life: the youth a god would kill for. Ambrosia eyes, the universe trapped in the curve of his mouth. He looks like every warning from his mother about strangers you run into after dark. 

One week by Lokkanel (12.8k words) - This thing going on between Isak and Even, whatever they called it - fuckbuddies, friends with benefits - was simple, fun, nothing more. They were friends, they were both free to do whatever they wanted with other people. They’d just meet and have sex whenever they felt like it. Simple. Until what was bound to happen eventually did and Even fell for Isak. 

Plum by Jamz24 (13.2k words) - Femme!teacher!Even asks masculine! plumber!Isak to fix a broken shower on a scorching hot summer day...And if you think it sounds like the start of a porn film you're absolutely right! There's LOADS of smut but ... with LOTS of feelings 

Never be the same by nofeartina (14.2k words) - It starts with a bet - one of those really stupid ones: can they last an entire month without any kind of sex?It’s been 22 days – and Even is dying. 

Somewhere I’ve never been by MinilocIsland (14.6k words) - The first time Even meets Jonas' best friend, nothing goes according to plan. 

If I Should Fall Behind by MinilocIsland (14.7k words) - The plan for tonight had been crystal clear. Stay close to his best friend, and steal her away if needed. Hold her hand through the ordeal of meeting Noora again for the first time in years. Then Even shows up – and suddenly, nothing goes the way it was supposed to. 

All I Ever Wanted by MinilocIsland (14.8k words) - Isak is such a good friend. Probably the best there is. How else could he explain that he's agreed to join Magnus to this place deep in the woods for six full days of silence, meditation, and utter boredom? One thing, he knows. There's nothing exciting for him there. Right? Or: the silent retreat AU. 

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******* Bonus *******

Season 3: Jonas by Laika_the_husband (WIP, SBB 2021 fic) - There is a scene in the end of the script for season 1, where Jonas and Isak kiss each other on a dare. This story is a retelling of season 3 in a universe, where that kiss happened and completely changed the way Jonas sees Isak. Written in Jonas' POV, the story examines sexuality, love, friendship and coming to terms with never getting the boy you shouldn't have fallen for in the first place.

What the fuck is wrong with me? by notanugget (11.6k words) - The five times isak felt guilty for being in love and the one time he didn’t 

thanks for the weed, thanks for everything by evak1isak (13.1k words) - Jokael. Jonas' dealer has moved to Denmark, and Even recommends his friend's weed. What Jonas didn't expect, though, was to develop a crush on a boy, on Mikael. 

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******* WIP *******

Baby, why do you have to shine so bright? by Lilacpotter - Even knew he was radiant, and he was used to people always wanting to be around him, enchanted by his captivating words and glowing smiles, as if he was the tantalising sun. But then one day, he comes across someone who shines much brighter than the sun itself in Even’s eyes.

Lonely Hearts Club by EndingsNotTheStory - The Hearts Club. A show run by Isak and his 3 friends. He's kind of had enough with hearing about people's relationship issues and giving advice. Until the guy from his theatre class and Isak's totally not crush Even calls, dealing with relationship issues. pining