#why do ppl like this show. why why why. HOW. im desperate WHY do ppl like this show WHERE ARE THE POSITIVES PLEASE WHERE

[petz5]

grabs him by the scruff of his neck like a kitten

[hampterguts]

sorry to be a hater but im socially obliged to watch all of twin peaks and um. when does it become watcheable.

thought-swarm rant below

i kept being told that theres a moment everything lines up and it all makes sense and the ppl who are going out of their way to let me watch it arent bigoted but the show is. the show is. not even in a conversational way its just unironic straight faced bigotry and the constant graphic depiction of sexual assault to women and teenage girls and the way the majority of adult characters the viewer is Definitely supposed to like are/were/arent upposed to having sex with high schoolers. not only are half the cast 18 theyre still supposed to be in high school.

like how am i supposed to like this show. the only main character thats a woman of color is the most unironic orientalist caricature. shes pure she's evil, shes loving but shes cold and has no feelings, shes innocent shes guilty, shes strong shes helpless, shes a manipulator shes being manipulated, shes the sole owner of a log company shes blackmailed into being a maid, shes a sexual abuse survivor, she loves america and hates her home country, her entire character story revolves around people who "own" her. she gets talked about like shes an item or a pet. she needs white cop man to save her from white people. one of white ppl whom literally spent an ENTIRE season "in disguise" as a vague east asian man. my ears still hurt from the racist accent. also the woman's dead husband who isnt dead bc she warned him hates her btw. the show acts like hes reasonable to. in fact another Good White Boy cop is seen as reasonable for not trusting her and holding her at gunpoint after she shoots ONE of her abusers. and again all of these things are shown BARE HANDEDLY AS IN WE ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE IT ALL AT FACE VALUE- ok well i still have like 8 episodes left but im not getting utena levels of "isnt this so fucked up to expect from a human being?" im getting "isnt she a fucked up little thing?"

she has short hair too btw. do you understand my devastation. my dyke ass was SO excited to see a Cool Calm short haired business suit wearing woman in charge of a lumber factory all by herself. like "wow this isnt egregiously racist i cant wait to see-" only a few episodes later and its the worst ive seen. i cant stomach this at all.

im going to have an aneurysm. i swear if i have to experience any more of this all of my blood vessels are going to burst and im going to dissipate on the floor. i have at least 8 episodes left. the mystery isnt even interesting to me bc all that keeps happening is racism, ableism, pedophilia, sexual assault, and romantic issues. its all so character-relationship driven and it expects you to be invested in and also LIKE these characters. i cant! i thought the director was famous why does this suck so extremely bad!!!!! when does the reveal happen and when it DOES happen i have a bad feeling it wont be worth the mental emotional pain ive been through. like im sorry famous director i think you'll have to scramble a LOT to make this one mentally ill internet faggot consider watching your other work at all. you cant handle mental illness you cant handle physical disability you cant handle race you cant handle women you cant handle mystery what CAN you write.

like its not even artsy with it. one artsy scene does not count. it also had a teenage girl kissing an unknown-aged adult man who we ARE SUPPOSED TO LIKE!!!! he's consistently "our little sweetheart protag hes so sweet and kind and trying to Do Good!!!!" fuck him to hell. his biggest reason to Not Date an 18 yr old whos still in school was bc hes "still in love with a dead woman". why the fuck is this show popular. what was the norm for the time this came out bc it sounds PRETTY BAD IF THIS IS CONSIDERED GOOD.

[revelboo]

how many souls have you taken Revel bc ive seen multiple ppl promising their life to you and with your delicious writing im about to be yet another life in your debt 😭😭

So, so many souls. Maybe I’m an Eldritch horror bartering in the shadows. Maybe I’m just a collection of exceptionally clever crows in a trench coat with a stolen cell phone. You’ll never know…

Finally ran out of space on the shelf… 18+ content mass displaced mechs 🌶️

Everything Is Alright Pt 97

IDW Starscream x Reader, Soundwave x Reader, Megatron x Reader

• Watching Starscream and Soundwave murmuring to you, worrying over you, makes Megatron feel uncomfortably off balance. It’s the tender way Soundwave cups your face, tucking your hair behind your ear and the way Starscream runs his servos over you to make sure you’re unharmed. He’s jealous, he realizes. And he hates it. Not only that, not only jealous, but lonely and that’s so much worse. Surrounded by his followers all the time, but unable to really trust many of them, he’s isolated himself. Alone. Growling softly, optics narrowing, a part of him despises Starscream’s happiness. After all the Seeker’s done, he doesn’t deserve for things to break his way. To be happy and it twists angrily about his spark. “If you’re not going to play with your little pet, maybe I should,” he snarls just to needle Starscream and it works, the mech glaring, wings flicking up and quivering.

• “Cut it out,” you snap at Megatron, and Starscream stiffens, wings flaring slightly. Tensed to protect you when Megatron lashes out at your impudence, because there’s no way you’ll go unscathed for that. For defying him. Watches Megatron’s optics narrow, and Starscream’s servos tighten on you. Ready to grab you and bolt. He’s a much smaller target this size, can fly off and hide with you until Megatron calms down. Soundwave can fend for himself. And then to his utter shock, Megatron laughs. “Stop being a jerk, you already got a free show.”

• Voice wavering as you glare at Megatron and your heart races, you’re encouraged that he thinks your anger is funny and that he’s not getting pissed off. Because he’d been trying to provoke Star and you’re sure all of them know it. So you’d panicked and drawn his attention to you instead. Soundwave’s hands flex against you as if wanting to tell you to stop. And Starscream reaches around you to cover your mouth, growling when you twist your head away. Know they’re worried you’ll push too hard and direct Megatron’s anger at you. “Don’t, little one,” Soundwave growls, voice low as he and Star exchange a look.

• “Let our little pet speak,” Megatron laughs, waving a hand. “Primus knows, no one else here is willing to contradict me.” Uncertain, Soundwave vents against you. Almost tempted to hook a thought in Megatron’s processor, because amusement wasn’t what he was expecting. And he desperately wants to know what their leader is thinking right then. What he thinks of you, because there’s a hunger on the warlord’s face he’s seen before. It’s the look he’d worn in the gladiator pits, defiant and starving to be seen, recognized. “You have a problem fragging in front of me? You didn’t before.”

• “To be fair, I didn’t know you were there until you said something. I was a bit busy,” you counter, chin lifting as your face reddens. And Starscream knows you well enough to know the attitude is all bluster. You’re frightened, he can feel you trembling against him, one of your hand reaching back to grip his arm, the other grabbing Soundwave like you need them to anchor you. Your fear doing things to him. “Go find your own human if you want a show.”

• “Why would I do that, when I already have my own?” Doesn’t mean to say that, to make that claim. Only to antagonize you because your irritation with him is delicious. Ignoring the two other mechs, he stares at you, daring you to contradict him. Watching those eyes narrow, before they slide over him from helm to ped in a slow perusal that makes him freeze. That to his utter shock makes his spike stir behind his plating. Because it’s one thing to taunt and tease. Giving in to that same deviancy Starscream and Soundwave are lost in the grips of? It’s tempting. So tempting. “And if I order them to frag you so I can watch?” If he frags you?

• Can feel the tension in both of your mechs, their hands almost bruising on you. “If you want to watch, just say it,” you mutter, turning in their arms to face Star. Seeing the fury there as you go up on tiptoe to brush your mouth against his. Know this whole thing is meant to demean him, to make him angry. To prove he’s powerless. That he can’t protect you, but you can protect him. If he’s a ticking time bomb about to go and cause as much collateral damage as possible, and you know he is, you have to distract him. “This isn’t his. It’s yours,” you whisper against his mouth, arching into him. “I’m yours.”

• Servos tangling in your hair as your mouth slides against his, his optics shutter. Blocking out Soundwave and Megatron, focusing on you. The warmth of you against him, those soft hands sliding down his chassis to brush against his plating. Asking. They’re watching, Soundwave is almost pressed against your back, his knuckles brushing the other mech as he strokes over you, but he slowly relaxes into you anyway. Pretending this is okay. Because no matter what happens, you are his. His sparkmate, bound to him. Let Megatron watch and see what he can’t have. Freeing his spike, he vents against your throat as Soundwave’s hands grip your hips and lift you for him. Knows the communications officer is trying to shield you from Megatron’s view as much as possible and he appreciates it even as it annoys him that he needs the help.

• That breathy noise you make, head falling back against Soundwave when Starscream enters you goes straight through Megatron. Shifting on his throne, resisting the urge to move closer to see. With Soundwave’s back to him, his body is shielding you from view. But he can hear the wet sound of Starscream thrusting inside you, the Seeker’s low growls and hitching vents. Soundwave murmuring to you, too low to pick out the words. Optics half shuttered, he tries to focus on just you. Hating Starscream in that moment more than he’s ever hated him before. For having this, for being happy when he doesn’t deserve it. He’s not the one who’s lost everything. Who’s sacrificed everything for his goals. For what he believes in. And what he gained? Ash and death. Nothing good, and he wants something warm and soft in that moment. Someone who can’t plot against him or use him. Will defy him and challenge him. He wants you.

Previous

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[fisheito]

This was my introduction to bunny waiter eiden,which warrants a cut because I'm me🫢😑😐

I wuz screaMun because ppl weRE FAST ON THAT SHITE the dash was lighting up with eiden intimacy room details and i was Aghast LIKE NO!!! I CANNOT LOOK UPON YE .

I must RUN INTO TH3 QI LALAPP .APP. POSTHASTE

Oh got THERE HE IS . DIVERGENT DREAM? PLEASE ohhh look he's doing magic tricks just like he was just showing off to kuya in sleepless fun fair awww the continuity!!!-----

SHUT UPPPP I AGREE WITH YOU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🥺😭

So I FINISH READING the chapters that are released and i get to the Battle stages and OhMo what's this i see

Multiplier?+?+?+++!!!

Ohhhkaaaaayy that means i have to roll for eidento get my max rewards NoOooo;;; he's always eluded me I'm gonna lose all my comtracts qnd BE EMOTIONALLY CRUSHED 3 YEARS IN A ROW (ノД｀)ノ eiden PleaSe come to me i want your furniture my floors are barren i am in desperate need of chairs for my tables and your little nightstand of beverages PLEQSE. I HAVE SO MUCH OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD. PLEASE.

PSPSSPSPPSPSSPSPSPPSSPS

GasP NO...ITCANTBE!!!!

>?! In THE FIRST 20 PULLS. wsit who are u protecting what is the story behind your line--

MY NEW FURNITURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU BEAUTIFUL BLESSED GENEROUS EIDEN MWAH I ML OVOE U

now. what are you. Are you going to help me in battle what's your deal

Light guardian!!! That's cool!! Don't have a light guardian in my battle roster!!

Wtf is going on!!!!! This doesnt look like a set of pure guardian skills!@!!! WHATEVER! IT'S FINE! IT'S EVEN BETTER, ACTUALLY BECAUSE I DOUBT ANY REGULAR GUARDIAN CAN OUTCLASS SR MORVAY ANYWAY

Hmmm...... does that mean i won't really need this eiden for most battles? Morv has been carrying me and idk if it's worth it to build eiden to 3 stars because i only have 1 of him... that would cost a LOT of memory shards... :/

BUT EVERY EIDEN HAS BEEN SOOOO USEFUL UPON RELEASE. I CANNOT MISS OUT ON HIM THIS TIME!!!

CRYSTALS FOR YOU, .YMY LIEGE 🫴🫴🫴🫴🫴🫴 . Did i just drop the 5400 memory crystals I've been saving for years oh whatever i still have SOMe left

WAughH i NEED TO LEVEL HIM NOW I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL NEED HIM IN BATTLE BUT I NEED TO BUILD HIM *NOW*

MUST REACH MINIMUM TIER 6 SPECIAL ABILITY!!!!! I CAN (PROBABLY) AFFORD THAT MUCH I CAN BUILD HIM MORE WHEN I ACTUALLY USE HIM IN BATTLEA AA A A A AAAAAAAAAA WHER E IS MY GOLD I NEED COIN

AND NOW FOR THOSE INTIMQCYROOM BUFFS

Aaahhhh..... eiden is now the default face once i enter the Intimacy Rooms..... yes, this feels proper. Arrival of the king. Positioned Where he rightfully belongs.

Oh Glorb I FORGOT THAT GIFTING EIDEN PORTRAITS DOESNY USE ANY POINTS LET'S GOOOWWEEEEEEEEEEE

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SALTED AND SEASONED I nEED TO HEAR HIS 18 SECOND ORGASM NOISE (<- so the legends say.idk. i never counted. I should count now. what The FriauK wAS TGAT SQUEAK)

How did it only take ~200 portrsits to unlock all 5 rooms what have i been hoarding for why didn't the other eidens come to me SIR I'M KEEPING YOUR FAVE SNACKS IN MY PANTRY FOREVER SO YOU'LL BE ENTICED TO VISIT. EIDEN YOU'RE KILLING ME IM RUNNING OUT OF ROOM FOR MY OWN SNACKS BECAUSE YOURS ARE TAKING UP ALL THE SPACE--!!

5-room-buffed now. BReathes. ok. Fine, we're good. We're o k ay. I cant watch the rooms yet, though. Not until the full event is released. I need to know everything before i dive in. AAAAAHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHH I FINALLY HAVE AN EIDEN AT TIME OF RELEASE!!!!! A CURRENT EIDEN!!! HE IS WITH ME AND I'M NOT BANKRUPT! WWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

..nd this is me after that whirlwind of emotion, which all happened in <10 minutes

Eiden put me in some sort of trance

Whe4rn am i.?

Why are my coffers empty

[vermilionsun]

In my headcanons vere has a little problem with ppl who are driven by lust 🙋🙋 He has a disdain for Leanders "shameless" behaivor and straight up kills mc when they 'give in' in the demo (at least thats how i interpret it)

So i humbly ask for his reaction to an Mc who is just down bad for him in a silly kinda way. No innuendos no sexual comments just tomfoolery from mc, straight up leaning against the bar at the wet wick with a "ya come aroun here often ;D" and they slip and fall or something

i want mc to be down bad pathetic cause IM TOO, full on groveling at his feet (but cutely), the ex that shows up seranating at your door except they are not your ex you never dated them— wait why are they crying about my beauty —

You’re a G E N I U S.

I might need to make a part 2...

Pathetically-down-bad-for-Vere group, assemble!

Disclaimer! They/them for MC because we love inclusivity!

✦ “Jumpy, aren't you?”

The MC scans him up and down once again, eyes wide. “Damn… you come here often?" They wiggle their eyebrows, which earns them an amused chuckle from the Monster.

"Depends. Would you like me to come by more often, pretty one?”

“YES PLEASE–”

✦ When he presents the key to the MC, they proceed to walk towards him, a slightly dazed smile adorning their face. “So, how about I buy you a drink–” The MC proceeds to trip and fall in front of Vere’s feet.

✦ He lets out a breathy laugh before bending forwards to take the MC by the chin.

“Damn, I love that laugh already…:”

“You really should be more careful. City like this, someone might take advantage~”

“Huh... Yeah… whatever you say, beautiful.”

"Oh, eager, are we? You know, compliments like that might just convince me to make this a regular hangout." His ears flick.

✦ “What’s your name? or should I just call you mi–” The MC tries to get up but bumps their head on the small table next to Vere, who is desperately trying to stifle another chuckle.

"Careful, wouldn't want you hurting yourself this early on. Name's Vere. And yours, darling?”

“Your future partner, I hope,” they say, still somewhat dazed.

“Oh, is that so? You're pretty confident,” he comments, his tail swaying behind him, capturing the MC’s attention.

“Fluffy–”

“No.”

✦ “Tell me traveler, what brought you to this–”

“You,” they cut him off with a wink.

✦ “Unless you’re dying to consort with Monsters.”

“...I don’t like the way you said “consort”, but you’re not wrong. Sign me up—”

Vere: [Shocked Pikachu face]

✦ “Come, take my hand and we’ll go together.”

“Woah! Save the hand holding for after marriage!”

✦ “Do you like dancing? There’s a traveling troupe in Hightown tonight. Truly a performance to die for.”

“Are you asking me out?”

Vere looks taken aback for a moment, but before he answers, the MC chimes in; “Too late. You did.”

✦ “I know Eridia like the back of my hand—”

“oh, that’s why it looked so heavy…”

“...Uh, pardon?”

“May I help? I can hold it for you—”

✦ When Vere grabs them, nuzzling in their throat, murmuring threats, they almost faint in his arms in a dramatic “Now I can die happy” moment.

✦ When they meet again a few hours after, at the Wick, and Kuras mentions that he and Mhin were escorting the MC back, the MC walks forward into the light, only to end up tripping over their own feet and falling flat on their face… and once again, in front of Vere.

✦ “You seem more interested in having the floor as your object of attraction, do you not?” Vere asks with a sly smile.

“What can I say? You look good from this angle.”

“Wait, do you all know each other?” Leander looked confused between the people sitting at the bar. “You’ve met before?”

“We did. Not long ago either,” Ais considered his drink.

“I’m starting to suspect they’re stalking me,” Vere comments.

“If I were, I would have to say you're quite the elusive target," the MC winks at Vere as they try to get up, only to fall again. 

✦ Later, when Vere is alone at the bar, the MC slides onto the stool next to him. They rest their chin on their knuckles. “So, about that—” Their elbow slides on the smooth wood, causing them to stumble, trying not to knock over their drink. "Sorry about that," they say with a sheepish grin, trying to regain their balance. "So, about that drink?"

"Well, isn't that cute? I might just have to take you up on that offer."

✦ “So, you survived the night. Are you here for praise, or will a head pat do?”

“anYTHING JUST plEaSE–”

✦ When they arrive in the abandoned alley the MC tries to lean against the brick wall, only to smack their head.

✦ When they attempt to unbuckle his collar, he lashes out a hand, capturing theirs. “Tch. Don’t you know better than to touch without asking?”

“Can I please please please please—”

“No.”

“—please—”

“No.”

✦ Leander’s voice echoes from the Wick, and the MC glances behind them and back at Vere, only he’s gone. “...Not even a kiss good night 🥲?” They pout into the empty night air.

EXTRA: Modern era

✦ “Hey, can I call my phone from yours? I think I’ve lost it,” the MC looks at him with pleading eyes.

He raises an eyebrow and hands his phone over. When the MC presses call, their phone rings from their pocket.

“Thanks,” they hand his phone back.

He later finds out there is a new contact number under the name “My darling.”

[gqueerb]

I will never forgive Lestat and Armand for the part they played in Claudia and Madeleine's death but the fact that Armand gets more hate for what happen to Claudia than Lestat in the fandom is insane to me and I LIKE Lestats dramatic sassy ass dont get me wrong, Im hyped when he shows up in a scene. But especially with how he kept framing Louis (whos not inocent no but has been manipulated by Lestat since he was a human and abused by him as a vampire) through all this as the problem for wanting to leave and forcing him to loneliness 🙄 and cruel for giving him the silent treatment after he dropped him from the fckn sky and not wanting to fuck lestat after Claudia left which is why he had to turn to Antoinette's bony flat ass like he hadnt already been hitting that since from way back when .. like what?

and dont even get me started on claudias turning scene and how this doesnt change anything, the fact that louis didnt fully process the extent of what Lestat was telling him while being traumatized and desperate to save her life as his form of "penance" and someone to possibly be his family which is so unfair to claudia and one of the ways in which Louis is not inocent either but doesnt in any fckn way make lestat a victim and Louis the bad guy in their dynamic (once again not that Louis is a inocent - he isnt - or anything but cmon)

All I'm saying is if youre gonna hate on Armand with such a passion be sure to do the same with the white vampire (especially since ppl treat the fact that a 500y vampire wasnt ready to sacrifice his coven of 200y for a guy he'd been fuckn for a while and repeatly told to get the fck out of Paris since he met him bc it wasnt safe and was clearly using him as a rebound is crazy - again from claudia and louis perspective he is and will always be a manipulative bitch that I WILL NEVER FORGIVE FOR HIS PART in Claudias death but from his perspective...like I don't like it and there was a better way to handle it, i hate it in fact but I do get it)

Like hate on Armand for this and that fine just then keep the same energy with Lestat ppl its all im saying.

(and again I like Lestats cunty sassy ass)

bc if we're really honest and unbiased yh Lestat saved Louis but you know who he didnt save CLAUDIA he didnt even attempt to physically get her away from stage, fight for her nothing!!!

and he knew that Claudia dying would kill a part of Louis he would never get back

Idc what Anne Rice herself comes to me as a ghost and says "he would have if he could but he really couldn't save her" or anyone invoveld in the show for that matter bc what was actually SHOWN to us throughout the ENTIRE series is that his focus has always been on Louis (it was never about you/it was never you/I made you for louis) and at the end of s1 he was fully prepared to replace Claudia with Antoinette.

We all know that if he by any chance needed to make another attempt to save Louis bc the first one wasn't enough he would have! even if he had to fight a whole ass coven we all know he wouldve at least tried for Louis and he DID NOT lift a fckn finger for Claudia!!

Just bc Armand sucks doenst change the fact that Lestat also sucks is my point I guess.

(which is why I'm baffled at why Louis thought Lestat was worthy of any damn apology or thank you - like yh you saved me but you didnt even try to save our daughter and you were part of the reason I needed saving in the first place sooooo wtf do I owe you anyhting - the acting in that scene much like the acting in the entire series was amazing tho ngl!!)

Keep the same energy or just be honest about the fact that you're bias when it comes to Lestat which if you are thats fine, I can even respect that as long as you're honest and don't try to pass your biasis as a valid argument.

Bottom line Claudia DESERVED BETTER and I'm kind of side eyeing the hatred towards Armand the same way i did the opinions that were going around about his casting just bc he wasn't a white ginger (like what?! 😒) like the way some (not all) of yall talk about it is rlly weird and suspicious ngl

Claudia (+Madeleine) and Daniel are my favorite characters

Everyone else needs therapy, either that or be bathed in holy water or smth

[noveauskull]

CALLING OUT ALL L&DS PLAYERS RN!!!

I have a genuine question that revolves around this very specific story idea and im just D Y I N G to know if i should make it happen or not and i need the words and support of every fellow L&DS writer and reader ASAP

(im super anxious writing this cause what if everyone thinks this idea sucks or not enough ppl see this post cause they dgaf 😭😭)

so im thinking of making a fanfic of L&DS where MC has a twin sister. this twin sister is like her evil half and tbh not really her twin but more like part of MC's self where all the evil and painful things she did is hidden in that half of herself which is her twin sister.

MC lost her memories of all the male leads in L&DS when she used her aether core to divide herself into the worse half of her, which is why she has heart problems and overall just issues with having an aether core, because of her twin that carries all the past mistakes and sorrows she had.

I plan on making MC's twin a very aggressive, childish and petty person, but she can have her times of weakness and be very sweet and caring when she wants to, i mean, she is the bitter half of MC so of course she has to be cruel, but we also get to see how MC's twin grows into being the true version of MC.

I would just jump onto making the fic happen however i need it to be clear that the main focus won't be MC herself but MC's twin, and all the male leads in L&DS will be showing affection towards MC AT FIRST before moving on towards MC's twin.

I even have the names of MC and MC's twin planned out (since I cant always narrate them as MC and MC's twin) in both chinese and english! *since L&DS is a chinese game and also because im using english to write the fic*

Also the debate on making this fic a fluff only with slight angst or fluff, angst and SMUTTY AS HELL with all male leads is a very, very, VERY big option that im struggling to choose, but as my pride and joy of being a smut writer, i think the smut side is really pushing through here.

So far these are all the main information i wanna share before making the fic happen, hopefully enough blogs reply to this post cause i am in DESPERATE NEED OF FEEDBACK cause if no one is going to read it why bother amiright or amiright LMAO

im kidding but please do give your thoughts on this! if i dont think a lot of people are interested im cool with that too but again it'd be amazing to actually write a full on fanfic that isnt just oneshots or short tumblr posts, and a SMUT one at that!

Im always eager to challenge myself and i think im ready to take the leap for this one!

[pumpkinsy0]

Do you have any headcannons for if Curly was FTM or how/if it would effect his relationship with Pony.

im gonna hold ur hand and give u a mix of both!!! mainnllyyyy just hcs for trans curly tho lmao

•i already feel like the shepards mom is pretty misogynistic and when she found out she was having girl twins she wasnt the happiest of campers at all. so when it comes to being a mamas girl, curlys not as close as he wouldve wanted to be. unlike cis curly, trans curly was just fighting a losing battle from day ONE, but trans curly still has that desperation for wanting to be seen BY his mom, thats a constant amongst all curly versions i fear

•ftm would b one hell of a change for him, its like a whole 180 and it wouldnt go unnoticed by his mom!! curly was under the impression that maybe his mom would like him better if he acted like a guy!! his mom valuing boys is what pushed curly to transition, hes tried acting like the perfect daughter being REALLY feminine but NEITHER of them was buying it, so he thought ��what if i tried being like a son!!” doesnt have to be a GREAT son, just one regardless, thats what his mom always wanted after all

ps i feel like u could also twist this so curly finds out that hes a boy BC he decided maybe acting like a boy would get his mom to like him, it changed from him wanting to please his mom to him actually liking how it felt to be one and starting to do it for himself (spoiler alert, his mom wasnt the biggest of fan either way)

•angela knows what curlys doing, hes told her the plan and how he felt bc theyre very close and she doesnt exactly gaf that hes doing it, shes just worried hes gonna get hurt. at the end of the day ik angela was happy she got all of curlys girl clothes. nobody else knows that curlys doing so they keep buying him girl clothes that he hands off to angela, while tim buys curly his boy clothes from thrift shops, if anyone asks they just use the excuse that theyre broke and curly doesnt care what he wears and cant afford to be picky anyways

•when they move to america, curlys able to take more control of his identity than most. when it comes to government documents obviously its harder to lie but sometimes ppl just dont double check what curly or tim put in the paper so he just says he was born a boy. reason why he goes by curly is bc its a nickname to hide his “girl name”, curly is a pretty unisex nickname i think, its a way of tricking ppl so they say anything BUT his deadname and so he doesnt get targeted for being trans by using his new name (which only a feewwww ppl know). curlys new name is the name curlys mom was gonna give to tim, she had a list of names written down in her diary when she was pregnant w tim and curly found it

•curly would hateeeee getting artested for the additional reason that he would be going to a girls reformatory if he gets locked up, thats a one way ticket to dysphoria city AND getting outed/harassed he would love to avoid that at all cost. as a result trans curly tries being more slick when he breaks the law so he doesnt get locked up. if he was just going to a boys reformatory, he wouldnt care about getting locked up, however they have government documents that say curlys a girl, not much curly can do about that

•assuming we r arent going w modern day, im not saying pony wouldnt support curly he doesnt care WHAT the hell curly does, but i do think he doesnt have theeee most progressive ideals as ppl would probably headcanon. one of the biggest ones is that hes jealous that curly is seen as more manly than he is. in his mind hes thinking “how did a girl turn out to be stronger than me, like that”, its not ALL he thinks of curly but it is A thought regardless. is curly offended??? ehhhhhh a lil bit, he knows pony feels that way even if he doesnt know it show it, BUT hes more so smug about that than anything, ponyboy curtis???? jealous of him????? oh hes taking this W

•curly didnt tell pony he was trans right away but its not something he kept hidden for LONG, he told pony he was trans early on of them getting closer to each other. curly knows pony isnt dumb and wouldve found out eventually, best to be from him than anyone else

•is diy testosterone a thing??? ik its a thing for hrt but idk for testoserone, IF IT IS id like to imagine curlys making it w pony without anyone knowing and its a science experiment w tubes and flask😭😭realistically tho, curlys just eating foods that boost testosterone. it was ponys idea!!!

•like i said pony tries being supportive but his support can b rlly funny to curly, “how do you want me to ____” “like u normally would??? im not fragile pony”. be knows pony would never dare to be purposely transphobic, mostly bc he knows pony knows he would whoop his ass if he was❤️

•curly binds using bandages REALLY tightly and the only reason y he got better w them is bc pony knew some small history of corsets and was thinking “yea, that cant cant be good for u” so he tried offering safer ways to do it

[noangeleither]

"fixing" the panic attack scene to be more platonic ™

im extremely active on twt and have been noticing a sydcarmy tweet go viral multiple times a week (like w thousands of interactions its crazy), and its really great to see how much people love and see it for this ship. recently carmys panic attack scene went viral again, and naturally, some ppl gave their piece about how we are all dumb for interpreting it as romantic. that sydney represents his love for his job or his duty to the restaurant (*sigh*).

this scene imo, is the most concrete proof of this ship. i can excuse (not really) interpreting every interaction between them thus far as platonic but this scene....i just refuse. this is gonna be a long post, not analyzing the scene per se because i can't possibly say anything that hasn't already been said but more "fixing" the scene to fit the narrative of antis, and i hope in doing so really shows there's no other way to interpret this scene as other than romantic. again its gonna be a long post bc im just ranting and i think i will lose my mind if i dont type this out.

lets go.

so first off i like to think of this scene as an equation/experiment. simply a problem that needs to be solved.

problem/reason of panic = ...we will discuss this...

solution # 1 = claire -> failed

solution # 2 = sydney -> worked.

Problem/Reason

s02e09 opens up with carmy and claire finally consummating their relationship, with an interesting song choice might i add and carmy dissociating, looking sad, or broken (???) after. because many have said carmy pulling memories of sydney from his psyche to calm down have to do with work i always remember that, it really doesnt make any sense?

carmy is clearly having a panic attack due to him not being "fixed" as soon as he made it official with claire. he felt pressure from his family both currently and in the past to date claire because she is amazing and perfect. add mikey also being a part of that crowd, and carmy so desperately trying to connect with him when he cannot, is why i think he looks so despondent after that scene. i truly think he thought he would be a changed person after everything with claire and when that didn't happen he flipped...

we know this is the reason bc his panic attack starts with their sex scene and the lyric "I dont know" from strange currencies by REM.

this isn't to say that he isn't nervous or stressed about the soft open but its clear that he's not having a panic attack about work nor have we ever seen him have a work-related panic attack (correct me if I'm wrong). in s1 he has one or two due to him greiving his brother.

platonic fix: To make it about work I would have added scenes like when Carmy started that stove fire in braciole, his meltdown in review, some scenes of his horrible time at EMP, and him grieving his brother. i think these would represent his fear of failure, falling back into old toxic habits pertaining his career, the fear of fostering a toxic work environment like the ny chef and also the idea of "failing" mikey

but theres a reason why none of this occurs bc its not about his job or the opening of the bear. this is explicitly about his personal and romantic love life.

Solution # 1 : Claire

carmy proceeds to try and calm down by thinking of claire through literal rose-coloured glasses...

the music is distorted, he's thinking of his abusive family, he remembers every one pushing him to date claire bc shes a #goodthing.

again...this is not about his job and wouldnt make sense to think of sydneys place in his work life as a soultion to his clear personal problem....

platonic fix: in the story of carmys love life claire and sydney act as narrative foils. they have been compared and contrasted for all of s2. my platonic fix for this would be making the NY chef this first "solution" of a work-related panic attack. he represents a horrible time in his life but also represents a time when carmy was at the height of his career. when carmy gets locked in the walk in and has his monologue, its alluded to that he will revert back to that mind set in order to not let everyone down.

NY chef abused him for so long, it makes sense that carmys psyche would readily go back to his insults and the time he himself was an isolated 'psycho' bc it yielded results.

nothing is black and white and i DO think sydney represents a healthier approach to the toxic mess that is the culinary world and does represent that for carmy. if the show was invested in that, sydney and the NY chef could be overtly contrasted like sydney and claire have been.

BUT again this isnt about his job and dedication as a chef...thus why he tries to think of claire to solve his personal problem, and it fails.

Solution # 2: Sydney

LMFAOOO.

carmy then in a crazy plot twist starts thinking of his platonic work bestie sydney adamu....the love song dedicated by the show to his relationship with his girlfriend is then made clear highlighting some pretty damning lyrics about desire and love.....all platonic btw. yes you are dumb if you think otherwise (*wink*)

I actually have two platonic fixes for this...

platonic fix # 1: if we only wanted to focus on sydney as a person who calms carmy down because shes his work bestie who represents his responsibilty to the bear and the postive change they are trying effect in the culinary world, i would add scenes where they are...you know actually cooking???

i think its pretty crazy how the memories carmys immediately jump to are ones that have little to do with their jobs. when they first meet (would also like to note that when carmy first laid eyes on Sydney, he forgot she was there for a job, so this is his raw reaction to seeing a pretty girl lol) and when she comes back after she quit and their break up fight.

i would add their scenes in carmys kitchen (even tho this is extremely damning bc they were flirting DOWN - they don't make this easy at all). this represents their collaboration skills and the way they WORK and bounce ideas off of each other seamlessly. specifically the scene about him wanting to give her a star, representing his duty to her and the restaurant.

*and no shade to carmy but if his responsibility to the bear/syd as a co-worker was bothering him this much and calmed him down wouldn't he have just immediately called the fridge guy.....anyways*

platonic fix # 2 (the best one): if i was chris storer and joanna calo and i REALLY wanted to sell it that carmy isnt in love with sydney then i would put every single member of the OG beef crew + Nat to calm him down not just Sydney.

im talking to them laughing at family, carmy giving tina his chefs knife, richie in his new suit, carmys one on one w Marcus/trying his donut, nat telling carmy shes pregnant (signifing rebirth/wanting to rid all the toxic abuse from his family), carmy trying sydney risotto, and her face when he said it was tremendous etc etc...you get the gist

and honestly?

even as i type this out im tearing up a little bit bc that would have been really beautiful. carmy is changing. he can and is getting rid of old toxic habits from his family and the mess that is the culinary industry. things are changing for the better....that would be beautiful....IF his panic attack was about any of these things lol.

and to even look at this scene without this need for symmetry and we entertain the idea of carmy thinking about his job as a solution for his personal problem...carmy has said himself (s02e01) that this isnt fun for him. i dont think that means he hates cooking i kinda disagree with the ppl who think he isnt passionate about it. i just think currently its something that doesnt bring him joy but i do think its something hes starting to or at least could have started to enjoy if he just committed to working with syd...

conclusion

theres a lot of....delusion? denial? straight up bias? yes all of that, going on.

idk what is happening bc this show is really great at being subtle. but i dont know whats more in your face, dumbed down, even a toddler could understand, than this scene. if you dont come out of this understanding that carmy is falling in love/currently in love with Sydney...and i hate using this term..but you just arent media literate.

bonus: bc it makes me laugh and connects the purpose and solutions.

i think we need a Snyder Sydcarmy Cut™ of bolognese and omelette.

the start of the episode is when sydney and carmy fight over claires inclusion in the menu, and also when sydney randomly asks him to define his relationship with Claire. the episode would continue until we get to the table scene.

i think its WILD how as soon as Sydney asks him to define their relationship, carmy starts calling claire his girlfriend. then the show proceeds to insert sydney in their romantic montage, shows her tattoo about heartbreak and someone getting in the way of your relationship...THEN proceeds to have carmy compare these two women in his mind and only calms down after seeing Sydney.

i could talk about this scene for AGES. wheres the straitjacket....

[borom1r]

WAILING @theshakespearetrash sent me 2 ask memes for Boromir asks (who is very much Not my OC skfhshfjjs but I will Always do character analysis I love character analysis so much. rotating him so fast in my brain. microwaving him on high)

+ not to be a kinnie on main (voice of a man who is always a kinnie on main) but I will be answering these all w/ a sort of Boromir-lives scenario in mind -w-

anyways ask meme 1 + ask meme 2

1. What memory would your OC rather just forget?

ok I feel like it’s the cop-out answer to say “his fall to the ring” but I feel like Boromir is the sort of person to.. not like stew on things but very much takes the stance of “good or bad, all my choices got me to the current moment and made me who I am.” + I feel like there’s so much tangled up in his fall completely beyond his control where that’s the only memory that he’d like. actively want to erase from his mind

2. What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?

HM. good with kids. I think unless you’d seen him with Faramir/his cousins when they were younger you wouldn’t guess (he’s a soldier and a very plain man when he’s not putting on a show for his father), but he’s just genuinely great with kids

3. What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

loves too much + quick to lose hope. painfully aware of this

4. When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

fight response. 100% the kind of man who gets kicked out of a haunted house for punching a scareactor even though he knew a scare was coming. Faramir and Aragorn have both almost gotten throttled bc they unintentionally snuck up on him

5. How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

OOO. When He Is Of Sound Mind, not actually very far. he was raised with the knowledge he would be giving his life to Gondor, whether he died in battle or sat on the throne as steward. add to that the act he puts on for Denethor, everything he does to protect Faramir— he’s a man born to serve. his own wants come last

6. How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

it would take. a DESPERATELY long time and an almost complete degradation of his mental state. Boromir arrives in Rivendell in October 3018, and the very next day is the Council, at which point he sees the ring and is IMMEDIATELY influenced by it. yet he doesn’t fully fall to it until the end of February 3019. he’d been fighting its pull for almost four whole months by the time he does anything malicious. resisting the One Ring for FOUR MONTHS. <- reasons why if I see someone call Boromir weak for falling to it I will see red.

7. What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

teehee obviously again Boromir is not my OC so I will take this as an excuse to Be A Kinnie + say, I do remember Boromir being returned to us sometime after my coronation. so that’s one way my memories differ from canon, which is sort of an answer to this prompt snfjsjfj

8. Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?

OH YEAH. I mean yeah if we’re talking like actual criminal murder and not just Slaying People On A Battlefield like. yeah 100% he would IF he was within Minas Tirith. you know Denethor would do everything in his power to cover that up lmfao

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

YEAH YAYYYY I GET TO MAKE MORE PPL LISTEN TO CROM AND BARONESS!!!!

anyways “have you ever seen a man so strong have you ever seen a man so great when he fights time stands still and everything seems so unreal but deep inside of him this man is torn” what if I bit things about this song

+ also listening to Magnolia and Shock Me by Baroness with Aragorn/Boromir in mind makes me ill. im Unwell.

10. What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

HMMMMM The Frankenstein Chronicles gave me brain worms so I might write a Frankenstein-inspired thing at some point. sth sth consequences of divine resurrection

11. What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it?

RAAAAGH. AUTISM TIMEEEEE.

Boromir uses a hand-and-a-half arming sword (meaning it’s balanced for single or double-handed use, with a crossguard). it’s a really elegant sword, very simple and utilitarian. speaks to an adaptable combat style as well. but, interestingly? Boromir carries a Rohirric shield, and if you notice Rohirric swords don’t actually HAVE crossguards the way Gondorian blades do. this tracks, and was common with Roman and early Germanic swords— BECAUSE these cultures were Also relying on shields for blocking.

and an additional note, Faramir’s sword is single-handed. so we’ve got a ranger who prefers the use of a bow and hasn’t experimented much with his sword combat, and his brother who prefers a sword and carries a very versatile blade with 1) a Rohirric shield and 2) a ranger’s vambraces designed to protect his arms from a (nonexistent) bowstring. I just find Boromir’s mix of protective gear so interesting, esp if you consider he and Théodred as at LEAST friends. like Boromir carries so much of the people he cares for with him into strange lands even when he (arguably) has little need for such gear

12. Is your OC self-destructive? In what ways?

yes and no. I think, not consciously? but he absolutely values himself lower than the people he cares for. he goes to Rivendell to keep Faramir out of danger, he takes multiple arrows to the chest and keeps fighting to defend Merry and Pippin. I think if there’s a risk of someone he loves getting hurt, all self-preservation goes out the window

13. If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

oh I would be staring at him like a predatory animal and trying to psychically convince him to lay on me in full armor

14. How does your OC want to be seen by other characters?

HGH. ok I don’t think he necessarily. does?? and this is generally a Silly Little Headcanon bc of a comment a Most Beloved Friend made abt how everyone gets their autism from their dad (real+true) + now in my head “haha Faramir got his autism from Boromir instead” BUT. like genuinely I don’t think Boromir has an actual image of himself in his head or like processes that ppl perceive him, necessarily. and particularly when his father is holding him up as this aspirational figurehead for Gondor, like… I think he’s just himself, in his head. idk how to describe it well for the neurotypical ppl in the room snfskfjs sorry. like I don’t process myself as having Traits so ppl tell me they think I’m cool or funny or they enjoy being around me and it’s always like “!!! oh!” + I think Boromir is the same way. I think Faramir could describe Boromir to him + Boromir would just be like. “huh.”

15. Does your OC have a faceclaim? If so, who?

it’s Sean Bean + it will always be Sean Bean. sorry other Boromirs you simply pale in comparison

16. What is your OC's pain tolerance like?

VERY high by necessity. he’s a soldier he’s absolutely patched up his own injuries before, at least to hold over until he could see an actual healer

17. What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

ahh. I wrote a very personal fic exploring self harm urges w/ Boromir, so I suppose that

18. Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal?

very personable, when he’s of sound mind sndnsj

19. How does your OC behave when enraged?

oh he’s a silent anger type for sure. just seethes quietly. hello, consequences of spending time in an environment where you have no actual outlet for your anger + must simply sit there and Stew.

20. Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

again, When He’s Of Sound Mind, no. the man’s got a big heart and life’s too short to be petty

21. Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?

hitting him with the autism beam bc I can. I do also think he’s lost at least partial use of his arm in a Boromir Lives scenario, considering where the first arrow struck him

22. What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?

HMMM neutral good. he’s not chaotic enough to be.. chaotic (lol), and I think he’s too willing to go against Gondorian Popular Opinion to be lawful.

23. What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

HMMMMM pain, actually. or “weakness.” I think if he can quantify it in his head as “showing weakness” then it’s getting stuffed in a mental box and Not Addressed

24. What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

ok well. None. I think with his circumstances he had zero choice in his path. HOWEVER. I am deeply DEEPLY fond of Boromir learning how to play an instrument after the war ends. I STILL struggle to blow my wassail horn that shit takes SKILL that I do not currently have and Boromir was the BEST at blowing his horn?????? I think he deserves to learn how to play an instrument, esp bc Aragorn, Merry and Pippin would ALL be delighted to have Boromir play while they sing. Boromir learning hobbit folk songs????? Rohirric songs, to honor Théodred?? yeagh.

25. What is your favorite thing about your OC?

HES SO. FUNDAMENTALLY LOVING. love is such a core aspect of his character he is so wholly loving that the ring has NO CHOICE but to try to twist that love. bc it’s all Boromir has. love. im going to throw up abt him.

AAAAAAAAAND:

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

has he ever BEEN completely alone? mm, no. has he ever felt that isolated? I think absolutely, by the time the fellowship leaves Caras Galadhon. obviously he doesn’t deal with it well el oh el.

as for how he acts when no one’s around to see him… I don’t think much changes, tbh. he’s not the kind of man to Perform for anyone except his father, and then with the express purpose of placating the man and keeping his ire towards Faramir to a minimum

betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?

been betrayed? hm. truthfully, no, though I’m certain he felt betrayed by Aragorn’s reluctance to be anything resembling a king.

has He betrayed someone? Technically Yes, though again, if we apply the qualifier of “When He’s Of Sound Mind” the answer is no. his betrayal comes under the influence of a Malicious Magical Artifact Which Has Been Fucking With His Mind For Months, so.

bound: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars?

ooo, hm. I think not, actually, though it is a fun little idea for angst

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

gestures wildly at canon. I mean that’s his lowest. we’ve all seen it.

desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?

again, canon— to see his people safe. he’s very open with that desire, lol

failure: What's your OC's greatest failure? Have they been able to move past it? Does anyone else know about it?

AH. canon again. though what he does to move past it… mm. quite a lot of atonement, I think. perhaps of the self-destructive, working-himself-too-hard variety. I do think speaking with Faramir about *his* experience with the ring would help, because Boromir is the first to hold Faramir up as this sort of paragon of Goodness. so I think to know *Faramir* was tempted would help him better ground his experiences as, like…. Not A Deep Moral Failure Exclusive To Himself

fear: What is your OC's greatest fear? What do they do when confronted with it? Are they open with their fear, or do they hide it away?

ehehe. this is one thing I’ve touched on in a Faramir-centric fic, but the idea that the ring showed Boromir visions of Faramir dying at Denethor’s hand should he fail to return with the ring.

had Boromir lived to discover Denethor had nearly burned Faramir alive…… Mmmm. mmmmmmmm.

future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

worst possible? if he’d actually managed to claim the ring. I shan’t elaborate -_-

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

MM. his own actions. dead friends, dead loved ones. though if you mean literally, haunts him, I do like to think that Théodred’s Oðr pays Boromir a visit every now and again

guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

see above. handles it?? mm. atonement, again. direct action. he accepts it and does what he can to make it right

hate: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred?

HATE? Orcs, probably. Sauron. that tentacle motherfucker outside Moria. he’s not a hateful man, so. shrugs.

heartbreak: Have they ever had a relationship that ended badly? Experienced some other kind of heartbreak? What happened?

that ended badly in the interpersonal sense? mm, unlikely. more ended badly in the “somebody fucking died” sense.

I do think he had One (1) fledgling romance in Dol Amroth that ended with the other squire dying and that was sort of the catalyst for “ah. If I love people they’ll Probably Die, so maybe I won’t do that” baggage that he didn’t really unpack until, I think, Théodred. add the additional layers of Denethor Being Denethor and Boromir having such great standards to live up to…. with all the love in my heart, that relationship only happened bc Théodred saw Boromir, went “I need to fuck that Gondorian so bad it makes me look stupid” and proceeded to work his way through 1700 layers of gondorian mental bullshit just so he could suck some dick (me too bestie)

hide: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it?

hm. my first instinct is to say “not much” but ultimately I think he’d hide anything he can quantify as “weakness.” his own distress, any physical pain if he needs to be up and moving, etc. he’s only able to share that earnest moment with Aragorn in Caras Galadhon bc of Galadriel’s influence. he’s not used to being seen. so, if there is sth that would hold him back from fulfilling his duty as a soldier it is absolutely getting hidden/ignored.

hunt: Who or what is your OC hunted by? A person, a feeling, a past mistake? Is your OC able to let their guard down, or are they constantly alert?

hm. not necessarily Hunted, but I do think he is followed by Denethor’s expectations. it’s sth I’ve talked abt in another ask + that I go into in the costuming doc but such a key element of Denethor’s design is his son’s motifs but Richer, Grander. so… I do think Boromir is constantly alert of, like, how his father will perceive him, bc there is this very insidious sort of competition, this need for Denethor to show his sons up (whether a conscious need or not). and I do think that would weigh on Boromir quite heavily

mask: Does your OC wear a mask, literally or figuratively? What goes on beneath it? Is there anyone in their life who gets to see who they are under the mask?

mm again I think he only really wears a mask/performs for Denethor. anyone else would be too much effort for too little reward. at least if he plays Golden Son for his father, it keeps Faramir from being harassed as much

however, as for who gets to see him when he’s.. not just unmasked but actually RELAXED… Faramir, his uncle and cousins, Théodred, Aragorn, the others in the fellowship but particularly Merry and Pippin

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

does he have nightmares? oh definitely. what he does in the small hours of the night? depends. if he’s on campaign/traveling/otherwise away from Minas Tirith he will either lay there in his bedroll and Think (bad) or get up and write letters. depends entirely on where he’s stationed/who he’s with. if he Is at home in Minas Tirith, I expect he just goes for a walk + looks at the sky

mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?

I think I’ve pretty much answered all of this above, so skfjsjdh

monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?

nah, he’s not ❤️‍🩹

nightmare: What does your OC have nightmares about? How do they deal with their nightmares? Do they tell people, or keep it to themself?

answered w midnight for the most part— I’ll just add that no, he wouldn’t really talk about his nightmares. that requires showing vulnerability lol. I think Théodred and Aragorn are the only two who could coax him into speaking about his nightmares/fears (he wouldn’t want to burden Faramir with such nonsense)

pain: What's the worst pain your OC has ever felt? Do they have a high pain tolerance?

answered sorta (yes he has a high pain tolerance) but worst pain? gonna go with three orc arrows to the chest

secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

HMMMM again I don’t think there are many secrets. I do think if Denethor found out he liked men it would be disastrous

skin: How comfortable is your OC in their skin? Do they grapple with anything that lives inside them—a beast, a curse, a failure, a monster? How do they face the smallest, weakest, most horrible version of themself? Are they able to acknowledge it at all?

hm. I think he’s generally at ease with himself, or at least content with Not Thinking About These Things. I think, had he directly survived the arrows, he would have to grapple with like. the idea that he did prove Aragorn’s fears about men correct (whether Aragorn would agree with him or not)

torture: Has your OC ever been tortured? Would your OC ever torture someone else?

Four Months Of Slow Mental Degradation Due To An Accursed Magical Artifact!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

(no he wouldn’t torture anyone else)

wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?

hm. He would say mostly physical wounds. I’d argue a mix of both. he’ll accept as much care as he needs to stay on his feet and fighting. worst wound is definitely still arrows lol

[helpfulbug]

thank you to @all-seeing-ifer for tagging me in the 2024 movie ask game!!

I had a really hard time with this since I didn't really documented well what I watched last year....also didn't watch too many movies in general i fear so a bit of a weird list from me here:

It's a Summer Film! (2020)

a late 2024 watch but i had a BLAST!! such a love letter to amateur film making & the samurai film as a genre makes me want to watch lots of the classics in 2025!!

Vertigo (1958)

i havent really seen too many of hitchcocks movies or at least watched them and payed attention. my mom is a big fan of his but whenever she tried to show me one of his movies i got bored as a kid. catching up now and MAN yea no wonder ppl are still stealing this shit. REALLY GOOD

The Lure (2015)

only made it onto the movie night list for the title and we were BLOWN AWAY. grew up on the original version of the little mermaid and when i realized this was adapting this as a musical!!!!! WOOOHOOO - also everyone knows how i get about siblings so. yea

Detective Conan: Black Iron Submarine (2023)

i dont really know if ppl are aware how deeply engrained this francise is in german culture. anyways yes ive seen all of the like 40 movies at least once. so i can admit that most of them arent really good but THIS ONE. actual storyline development? crazy goverment tech? underwater base? also saw it with my beloved @wehavecometoanend--maybe so it was a blast in every way!!

The Shadow of the West (1986)

FREE ON YOUTUBE BTW. a really emotional but important watch. edward said wrote this so i was planning to watch this after i finish orientalism but i have so little time to read these days. anyways. PLEASE WATCH IT ITS LIKE AN HOUR!!

Queen of the Damned (2002)

ive been meaning to watch this for years but post iwtv spiral i HAD to. good thing i did before reading any of the books bc this is not even close to the tvc but such a blast!!! we got numetal vampires and aaliyah bringing akasha to life despite it all!!! really enjoy the freshly post matrix -ism of this movie!! really they could only make this in 2002 and im so happy they did. why no sequels tho.....

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)

just wanted to see this for camp reasons but it really stayed with me!! yes maybe not perfect for modern sensibilities on some of these topics but really emotionally poiniant also loved the storytelling in this!!! WE NEED MORE NON DIGETIC MOVIE MUSICALS!!!!!

House (1977)

also one i wanted to watch forever & movienights made it possible!!! really loved the effects in this one but also the cycle of abuse and desperation of it all! awesome stuff!! also lot more fun than i was expecting!!

Velvet Goldmine (1998)

can you tell i was in a camp musical mood this year yet. anyways REALLY good stuff!!! enjoyed the fashion and filmmaking in this one. WHY IS THE SOUNDTRACK NOT ON SPOTIFY?????

______

tagging @fruiteggsaladit (thank you for movie nights<33), @wehavecometoanend--maybe, @lostcryptids, @desperatelyfragile, @heyheymarrymearchie, @afraid-of-woodpeckers, @nxiht, @transjjester, @5bi5, @courierrsix & everyone else who wants to do it!!!

[mothman9283]

Ok i try to keep private but. guys.... i think i have a fever kink... and if this ever gets traced to myself irl i might have to change my identity. heres a rant about my experiences and preferences just to get it out of my system so i can be productive again and stop thinking about it 😇

anyways! i think ive always been intrigued to fevers my whole life. I remember when i was younger, young enough to not know my age, I was playing doctor with my friend and I was taking my stuffies temperature. i remember just continuously adding on pens and sticks and anything i could find to make the thermometer longer because "the temp is too high! the thermometer is gonna burst!"

i also hated showing or telling ppl i was sick ever since i was young, like id always hide it if i was unwell, and i wouldnt tell my parents or friends and would desperately try to make it seem like i was fine

irl i have no interests in sick people or being sick. if one of my friends has a cold or is coughing i always try to keep my distance so i dont get sick either. lowkey sometimes if they r a bit too snotty or whiny i even get annoyed.. 😓😓 I only ever feel this way about characters through a screen, or through little daydreams and fantasies.

anyways, i lowkey dont know if its a sexual tjing or not (ofc not when i was younger), but its just always something that made my stomach then and my heart pound.

i found out abt this community (<3) when i was in my teens. one day i got a yt video in my recommended of one of those "animate my story" videos. the title was smthing along the lines of "im addicted to seeing other people in pain" and i was like "damn. ok lets see whats up!" and clicked it. in the video the guy describes fantasizing about his favourite characters being hurt and being taken care of, and how its never about real people and whatnot, and as little teenage me watched it, i realized "damn. fhis is fr me but with illnesses!" This was the first time ive ever found out there were others like me, so i immediately scrolled to the comments. unfortunately, literally everyone was liek "bro this dude is a freak..." and i was like "oh.. 😕😒" BUT THEN. this one commenter with a pink defualt yt profile pic said "hey :) ! this is actually called whump, and its more common than you think!" and i went WOAH. since then i searched up "sick fever" on google, found tumblr and fanfics and never looked back.

after seeing some of the #s on this site i definitely feel less alone now, but having a fever kink is still pretty uncommon right..? like i dont see anyone posting about it anywhere else except for the two sites a stated prior, and its not listed anywhere either (granted i havent looked very hard).

isnt it also just kinda weird- like even from an evolutionary standpoint... fever = infectious = bad = why would i wanna get closer and die..

regardless of reason, i just love a good sickness- fevers with flushed, hot skin, and chills and coughs. i also need a good temperature readings for the full experience, and i love all the descriptive diction about their health. im not a huge fan of descriptive puking or sinus related stuff, but im happy with it if it contributes to the fever plot-. ive also noticed over the years that its not simply just a cold- they need to be literally described/shown as flushed and sweaty. being "pale" or "green" AINT doing it for me 😡

anyways! yeah that was my rant :) wow thats long. in the unlikely event someone finds this lmk if u have an similar/different experiences, or if a younger me sees this hopefully they wont feel like such a weirdo and feel less alone

[anemoiashifts]

permashifting & sv!c!dal ideation & early shiftok.

im so fucking scared to post this. tw.

ive been in the shifting community for four/five years now & most of my time was watching quietly from the sidelines up until last july when i made my shiftok account. i want to preface this by saying these are my experiences & observations & ive always been pretty firm on my stance. ive spoke about this (i think) twice on tiktok & will now give some updated insight. i don’t expect everything to agree with me but please don’t jump down my throat for saying what im going to. i respect you, please respect me. cool? yes? okay !!

there are similarities between sv!c!dal ideation & permashifting & im so so sick of people hardly taking about it. what re-sparked this interest in the topic was i saw someone make a video on their views towards the topic & i do resonate with their points heavily. this was the only video ive ever seen of anyone making a video like this minus myself & it’s been long overdue.

to clarify, im not against permashifting completely im against how permashifting is spoken about & how it’s promoted. it’s wayyy too casual & ive seen a lot of triggering things in my comment sections / confession submissions. i used to get about five of these or so (ppl saying they wanted to unalive themselves) a week when i was actively doing them but they’ve since kinda died down. if, me, an account with (at the time) ~15,000 tiktok followers were seeing this, i cannot imagine the kind of messages those 100,000 followers shiftokers were getting.

another thing that i haven’t spoke about too much is the sv!c!de notes id receive. i got about two or three of them. ignoring the overstepping of boundaries & oversharing, my heart goes out to those who submitted those. i think shifting came at a time when everyone was bored & cooped up inside & shiftokers could’ve unknowingly preyed upon people’s loneliness & vulnerability. i remember people could say things like “im k!11!ng myself tonight so I’ll wake up in my dr” & the fact that was even a thing is so beyond horrific. im gonna put some confessions ive gotten in the past just to show you what i was seeing daily at one point. scroll a ways down if you don’t want to to see. sorry ! idk how to blur it but would if i found out how to.

i wanta take a sec to call out all the adult shifters who neglected to speak about this.

i hear people say “but if they didn’t discover shifting they wouldn’t still be here” or “it buys people more time”. i get it. really, i do & i don’t think that’s a bad thing. what i do think the bad thing really is, is the adult shifting creators who enable the kind of talk & push that shifting is this other option without telling people to take care of themselves in this reality. the mental well-being & safety of people should always be put first, especially with spaces involving a lot of children when most of the information comes from the mouths of adults. shifting was popularized by tiktok at the height of c0v!d & everyone was arguably at their lowest. i think the timing in which shifting was introduced helped shiftok get popular at the time (along with harry potter trending, of course) & a lot of ppl saw it as a trend to latch onto & leech off of to grow a platform. i think some people totally — probably unintentionally — took advantage of peoples desperation for an escape for profit. that’s what I’ve felt with some former / earlier shifting creators, anyways. that’s why shiftokers are seen as these figures that were/are looked up to so heavily because they’ve gotten something that people with destructive situations are so desperate for & i think that’s really diabolical & sad.

this post isn’t to shit on shiftokers completely, not the modern shiftokers anyway. i have some really cool mutuals who genuinely post insightful content. i think tiktok has gotten a little better with some bumps every now & then but it’s not as bad as 2020.

i don’t think shiftokers are doing this intentionally. & who knows ? maybe they’re are afraid their audience will get upset or off put or they’ll lose support but the longer we put the conversation off the more people’s mental health will worsen. whatever the reason may be, keeping numbers up or getting “canceled” isn’t worth it at the risk of lives of children. it’s long overdue.

then the idea of escapism comes in. escapism isn’t bad. arguably, most things we do are escapism; reading, scrolling on tumblr. its how we look & obsess & look at that escapism. that’s when it becomes unhealthy. the consept of shifting as an escape from something like depression can exacerbate those feelings of because people do struggle to actually shift. that state of “waiting” to shift can be extremely difficult if you’re not struggling mentally, so if you’re struggling mentally on top of trying to shift without success? also throwing being a minor onto that.

anyways this post was all over the place because i could talk about this for hours. i have no idea if this will ever have a place on tiktok or if I’ll even end up posting this to tumblr. this was very ramble-y but a very important ramble imo. i tried to organize & keep this short to the best of my ability. feel free to agree, disagree but these are my poorly organized thoughts.

a little reminder to enjoy the journey & process of shifting rather then hyper focusing on “the end” of it. take a break if you find you self only thinking about shifting and not doing stuff you gotta do here or if your making yourself sick over it. it isn’t the end of the world if you don’t shift. i believe everyone is here for a reason & i can promise you everything will work out in the end.

to those who resonate with mental health struggles & shifting, my heart goes out to you & only with you the best. be gentle with yourself — that goes for all of you.

[kendrixtermina]

Boom

Ok, this one FUCKS right out of the gate.

Seems like we’ll be talking about the evils of the Military Industrial Complex, currently all over the news. Im here for it.

There’s a lot of worldbuilding packed in the opening sequence conveyed through the characters’ interactions.

I like how they take a moment to have Ruby be stunned at the sky even after she’s been travelling with the Doctor for a while. (*war flashback of Yaz & Ryan just going ‚alien planet man‘ & moving on.*) That’s how you make phantastic things land, you show ppl reacting.

& the Doctor needs a while to realize that it would be stunning to her cause he’s pretty used to this but then rattles off facts about the planet. Like… this is what characters who aren’t plank of woods is like.

Wow, Ruby is a very for realsies ride or die real one, isn’t she?

Like, you see why the song she picked in the last episode was the one she wrote for supporting her friend.

That’s quite the knife twist to have the little girl show up at this point, though i wonder how she left the camp undedected.

Very like the doctor to think of asking how the mine works when cornered

Ah, that’s a neat callback, remember back in series 1 how in ‚Dalek‘ it was said that time travellers carry around atron energy?

Or, another anglican Marine episode, big soace time event can plug the time crack?

Only in this case it’s a downside.

Turns out the mine explodes harder for time travellers and the guy who happened to step on it has probably travelled in time more than anyone else in that universe.

Ruby continues to be a quick thinker with the distractions.

OH FRICK

...well. Took no more notes until the end of the episode, which speaks for it, even though I found the whole romantic subplot between the two soldiers a bit flat, unsubtle & cheesy, as is the thing with using the father’s AI duplicate to stop the machines, even if I get the message that was intended.

But I like the twist that they were fighting air &it was all due to the AI activating that the company had rigged in its favor, and the emphasis on puzzling things out.

& the recurring motif of the Doctor talking to the companion to ‚think out loud‘.

It’s interesting to have reached a point in history where rather than getting, like, skynet or something speculative, the evil AI here is is based on the way that it’s actually used by greedy companies IRL in reckless ways.

(This is how you actually do the aesop of ‚its not technology that‘s evil but how ppl use it’, rather than whatever kerblam was supposed to be.)

You gotta commend them for how relatively small stakes the episode is and how much of it is just juicy character drama (the moment with ruby telling the computer to tell her about her "next of kin" in desperation was quite emotional), how it’s almost all in one location, & like… since the Doctor’s thing is talking his way out of situations, it’s an interesting experiment to have an episode where he’s stuck in one place & has to try & solve the plot by talking.

[cartoonrival]

3 15 16 22 smirks

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

ok if im being honest im STILL thinking about ytp/exploding hotdogs inthe micrwave-amy. NO SHE WOULD FUCKING NOTTTTT you guys just think that any girl liking traditionally feminine things automatically = no personality so the only way you can wrap your head around "fixing her" is making her less "girly". im still going to war over what ppl are doing to amy. literally no one on the planet understands amy like i do and shes not even one of my faves. i dont even enjoy understanding her like she's my own daughter i do it like its an obligation like im legally required. i also recently learned that "does naruto having blonde hair and blue eyes mean he's white-coded" is legitimate discourse and i fr think you all need serious help

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

ok this is my biggest hater opinion and i KNOWWWW its like unnecessarily pissy so i havent said antyhing abt it until now but i think you might understand me. I DONT LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE GIVE SHADOW SOME LITTLE THING TO TAKE CARE OF. I DONT LIKE HIS CHAO AND I DONT LIKE [expunged for my and others' safety] AND I DONT LIKE WHEN PEOPLE JUST GIVE HIM CATS. HE CANT TAKE CARE OF LITTLE CREATURES HE DOESNT CARE TO DO THAT HE DOESNT WANT TO HE JUST DOES NOT HAVE THE CARETAKERS SOUL LIKE HES NOT DOING THAT. HES NOT DOING THAT. BUT PPL DRAW IT ALLLLL THE TIMEE.......... IS THERE NO OTHER WAY WE CAN SHOW HIS SOFT SIDE THEN GIVING HIM SOME LITTLE CREATURE. HES NOT DOING THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!! its so stupid bc its not even like ooc NECESSARILY i mean his chao exists in at least some canons and theres nothing really saying it COULDNT happen and its such a harmless thing to be a hater about BUT I HATE ITTTTTT also when ppl make the hedgehogs wag their tails BE SO SERIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

literally every ship with amy. i think you guys just are desperate to ship her w someone. AROACE AMY SWEEP. ASK ME ABOUT MY AROACE AMY AGENDA!!! also i know youve talked about this 1 million times but i cannot fucking stand how the greater fandom talks about scourge bc none of them even KNOW HIM AT ALL and miss literally EVERYTHING that makes his character interesting and fun bc you didnt even READ ARCHIE you just decided to take this one dude out and sand him of everything of note so you can make him a sad little meow meow ToT SONIC HAS PLENTY OF SAD LITTLE MEOW MEOWS CANT A GUY JTSU SUCK??? CANT HE JUST BE A TERRIBLE LOSER? COME ONNNNNNN but ofc you wouldnt understand bc you didnt even READ ARCHIEEEEEE.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

JULIE SU. JULIE SU. JULIE SU ALWAYS. theres literally so much that could be said and expanded upon w her family and background and not even in the way that canon didnt give her anything at all and you gotta diy everything, shes SUCH A FUN CHARACTER shes so funny and such a jerk and everyone writes her off as "girl knuckles" so fast that they wont even LOOK at how much unique personality she has and how UNIQUE her relationship w knuckles is LIKE.... ken penders actually gave js a fun and unique and dope personality, the FANS are the ones writing her off as girl knuckles. ummmmm its not looking good for you people! and theres the assumption ig that all the romances in archie just suck bc theres sort of a lot of them, obviously i dont like every one COUGHken and sallyCOUGH but like ToT KNUXSU IS SO SO SO GOOD.... THE WAY THEY TALK TO EACH OTHER IS SO GOOD like you guys wipe every characters personality to put them in a ship, then talk about knuxsu as if thats the issue with it and why you dont like it, but. ITS NOT EVEN LIKE THAT. AND IF IT WAS SHOULDNT YOU LIKE THAT SORT OF SLOPim sounding like lorillee rn. QPR KNUXSU AGENDA WILL NEVER DIE

and in the same vein as js, lien da also. ppl just in passing say that either shes hot or shes ugly and no one talks about that creepy as fuck issue where eggman surgically put her back together. that issue was so fucking dope. shes so awesome. i love you lien da you are terrible and i love you.

obviously literally just all of archie. nobody talks about archie. i fucking love archie but everyones too scared. i wish i could make that au

[rhfffas]

"go listen to actual queer actists music" this "why are you so desperate need your stan to be gay" that, or even "gaylor is such a white gay thing", but how abt repressed (and depressed) queers of color relate to taylor swifts music?

i cant speak for all but i can speak for myself. im a gaylor who grew up in asian. ofc i listen to openly queer and unapologetically queer artists like fletcher, janelle monáe, lil nas x, miley cyrus, hayley kiyoko, lady gaga, etc etc, but i (and some of my close asian gaylor friends) also live in an extremely homophobic society where queerness is even banned in public, let alone openly talking abt or showing queerness in real life. sometimes those openly queer artists' work just arent necessarily our queer experience. enter taylor swift. her music is SO relatable to closeted/semi-closeted queer ppl. maybe im not white, but those self-doubting, those secret loves and heartbreaks, those depressions, those disprovals from parents and society in taylor swifts music, they are so queer. they are so relatable so familiar, they are so me, they are so us. takes one to know one, right? so ofc we became gaylors. she def sings abt us. she def knows abt our type of queer struggles and also our type of queer joy. and we get to learn all those queer history no one could teach us abt! what a nice thing to have an online fandom like that!

the question should never be "why dont you(gaylors) go listen to actual queer actists music?" but it should be "why cant you(hetlors) just acknowledge the undoubted queerness in taylor swift music?" (also, the RIGHT question for queer hetlors, "who do you think queer-code those taylor swifts songs?????")

the question should never be "why are you so desperate need your stan to be gay", but "why cant you see her?????"

the question should never be "gaylor is such a white gay thing" but "you DO know there are queers of color gaylors out there right??!!?!"

i will always be thinking and criticizing taylors colonialism problem in wildest dream mv, or the exploitation of women of color in shake it off mv, or her CO2 emissions, shes a rich white billionaire after all. but criticizing those problems doesnt mean queers of color cannot or will not relate to her work. bit racist dont you think???? cuz us queers of color gaylors are literally here.