#literally not just having her work for you but then constantly THREATEN her with essentially homelessness and a very unsafe situation is

[lildoodlenoodle]

One of the biggest problems and red flags about the whole spider society was having kids be workers for them.

Now I’m not saying the spider society shouldn’t have contacted the younger spiders or even work with them! But the spider society should function as more of a support group and emergency backup type situation for the younger spiders.

There was no reason for Margo, someone who is implied to be like Miles’s age, someone who can’t even drive, to be running an integral part of the society and how they are keeping the multiverse intact. She not only ran it, but if it malfunctioned it was clearly her job and responsibility to fix. When the machine ‘breaks’ and functions while, as far as she’s aware, no one’s in it she’s panicking, even though there would be no real consequences if she just let it run. There was no reason for Gwen, a 16 yr old, to be running around the multiverse alone going on high stakes solo missions(and that’s not even getting into the whole homeless thing). We don’t know yet what Peni’s role is but we have to assume it’s similar in nature and responsibility. That is insane.

Pav is the only one who seems to have a healthy relationship with the society, because he’s not really in it! He doesn’t know the indoctrination canon events yet, we don’t see him going off on solo missions, he gets backup when he needs it and that seems to be it.

For the kids that do know the canon events theory(Margo, Peni, Gwen) I cannot even imagine what must be going through their heads. Who else from their worlds has to die. For Peni, is her last living relative, Uncle Ben, the next person for her to lose? If Gwen returns to her world how long will it take for her dad to die? What other traumatic events have Miguel’s theory dictated will happen to them next? What horrors do they know will happen to them and their loved ones that they aren’t allowed to prevent? Is Gwen destined to die young because she’s the only Gwen we see Alive? And Gwen and Hobie, Pav’s friends, do they know that Gayatri and her dad are both destined to die? Like the mental gymnastics these kids have to go through and the mental torment that goes with it.

And then on top of it, to threaten said teenagers, who you have working for you, with being kicked out and being isolated from the people that are like and understand them is really fucked up. Especially if the threatening is because they are acting like teenagers and not soldiers. If Gwen is sent home, not only is her life put in danger but so is her father’s and they all know it. That is some culty level gaslighting and even grooming. Margo and Peni both are implied to not have good home lives either. The more you think about it the worse it gets honestly, because what goes along with this is we never see any of the adult spiders say anything about this.

Miguel and Jess both saw Gwen’s father, a grown man, try to arrest his daughter with a gun pointed at her. They save her, Jess takes her under wing(and whether they meant to or not) effectively become her guardians. They monitor her with what could essentially be a baby monitor/tracking device. They can control where she can and cannot go. And while understandable to not give a teen access to the entire multiverse they were very much giving her the adult responsibilities of protecting it.

When she does screw up, because she is a child who wants to see her friend, Jessica very flippantly references Miguel sending her home, making me think this is not the first time they’ve had that conversation, which is so worrying. And then they eventually do. They knew exactly what situation they were sending her into and not only did the entire society watch Miguel do it with little protest but didn’t even mention it afterwards. Even if Gwen was a threat they had other options, rather than sending her home, where she could still be safe.

There’s also a lot to say about how Jessica, Peter B., and Miguel handled Miles that speaks more to this pattern of behavior but that’s another post.

In the comics the ‘Spider Society’ got away with this sort of stuff, even having an actual infant just chilling with the group, because the spiders were being hunted. They couldn’t go home or leave the safe space dimension because it wasn’t safe. In the movie that is very much not the case. WHY WERE TEENAGERS WORKING FOR THE SOCIETY!?

[jamiesfootball]

Intrigued by figure skater girl Jamie as a concept and would love to know more

Funny you should ask, I was literally just talking someone's ear off about this the other day. It's a fic I've had outlined for a while but haven't written much, if anything, for yet

cw for sexual abuse of a minor

The short of it is that Jamie Tartt, young female figure skater, and Roy Kent, footballer, despite being 15 years apart in age have come to essential The End of their Careers at the same damn time (figure skating is brutal) 

Then while she’s at the Olympics she’s nattering on about role models and oh yeah hers is Roy Kent because before she was a figure skater (and pushed into it) she wanted to be a footballer so he's sort of her hero nbd 

To which Roy is teased mercilessly by both teammates and the media for having this little starling talking him up when he is literally a washed up footballer at the tail end of his career. Suddenly every is interested in his thoughts about it and she seems sweet (well not really, she actually seems like a bit of a dick but she’s also what, 18? Who cares) so he does some interview where he’s like yeah she seems great and skilled best of luck to you 

So starts a long distance media relationship of each of them being asked to comment on the other's latest accomplishments, which grows into them honestly cheering each other on as they get to know each other via quotes about what the other one said Of course sometimes Jamie posts that "Richmond's match against Crystal Palace was such a crime I'm worried they're going to take away my medals" and Roy wonders who the fuck let a literal child hold a phone) (He agrees with her but that's not the point)

She also posts after the Everton away match "PUT SOME FUCKING RESPECT ON THAT 6, LADS. THE BIG MAN CAME OUT TO PLAY" and Roy smiles so hard his face threatens to crack in half

Keeley, for the record, loves watching figure skating at the olympics. She knows nothing about figure skating as a sport, but she loves the outfits and she definitely knows who Jamie Tartt is (she wears THE LOUDEST outfits) and she finds the whole situation hilarious and constantly @s Jamie about how much the whole being hounded by the media thing irritates Roy which just pours more fuel on the fire which brings more media attention and before anyone knows it they're an actual trending topic and Roy didn't ask for this

Everyone at Richmond has a fun time teasing him about his number one fan. It's cute, and it makes Roy flustered and mad when someone brings it up - but it's a humanizing thing as well. They can see his quickly approaching retirement has been hard on him. Ever since this little figure skater has been hyping the world up about him…it just paints him in this light of respect that’s been missing lately. It’s good, that people are seeing Roy the way that they see Roy, so they’d like this girl regardless just for that  

Except then at some point Roy, who's got all this responsibility sitting heavy in his chest, mutters in an interview something to about responsibility and doing the right thing and setting an example for others and he doesn't even know what else he's just talking but Jamie hears this and she’s like. 

Ok. Bet.

She was going to quietly retire But Now That Roy Kent Says I’m Fantastic and Great (That’s not what he said but that’s not not what he said). She's gonna do it. 

So one day Roy wakes up and goes into work, and when he walks in for training the silence in the dressing room is like someone’s died. They can’t believe he showed up  

“Why wouldn’t I show up?”  

The entire room sinks as they realize he doesn’t know what happened to his little star

That's when Roy finds out that during the night Jamie fucking Tartt, the little starlet in his phone, went on a long, public rant exposing the sexual abuse that her and her teammates have been enduring for years. Because Roy Kent encouraged her too 

And she's still in the middle of the fucking Olympics. And Roy is thousands of miles away and he's never even actually met her and now he's somehow responsible for all of this

Fuck

[felixstudios]

force the managers to play toono with each other all at once. yes the biggest toono game you can get is 6 players. but i think a 16 player toono match would be the biggest shitshow known to man and itd be hilarious

Random Corporate Clash Headcanons, They're All Playing Toono Together Edition

TLDR: Brian {kinda}, Holly {kinda}, Ben, Cosmo, Spruce, and Graham have constant beef. Belle tries to defuse it all and semi succeeds. Buck is laughing the entire time and keeps getting crazy good or crazy bad luck. Oh and he's eating his cards. Graham wins and Spruce flips the table

Duck Shuffler

🎰Eats his cards when nobody's looking LOL

🎰Either has astronomically amazing luck or terrible luck

🎰Laughs constantly throughout the game regardless of what is happening. It is all funny to him. He's having a great time

Prethinker

🧠Scoffs and tries to leave. Several times

🧠Says that someone as smart as him couldn't possibly enjoy partaking in a game that relies on chance so heavily

🧠If he loses he still gets really upset even though he keeps trying to rationalize he essentially had a 1/16 chance of winning

🧠He uh... he gets into some fights and arguments

Deep Diver

🫧Just has a good time on his own and doesn't really say anything

🫧Might laugh at some people's misfortunes

🫧She does give a few glares at +4s though

Rainmaker

⛈️Refuses to play +2s or +4s because she doesn't want the next person over to hate her

⛈️Unless someone prompts her to be competitive or teases or makes fun of her. Then suddenly she will get VERY competitive and determined to win. All those +2s and +4s she's been saving get placed down

⛈️She might cry if someone's especially rude when they tease her

Gatekeeper

⚔️Says she highly disapproves of playing such a game, but since she's forced to that's the only reason she is

⚔️Still gets VERY upset when she gets a +2 or +4 though. If she loses? Yeah that makes her mad too

⚔️But she doesn't care though! Totally!

Witch Hunter

🔱Tries everything in his power to escape

🔱Does NOT enjoy playing whatsoever

Bellringer

🔔He will do everything in his power to win, including coming up with plots with everyone else to mess with someone who only has 1-2 cards left by giving them a massive +16 or something

🔔Oh yeah, he will also resort to gossiping to try to keep everyone distracted about how few cards he has. Or ringing his bell really loud to bring attention to his head instead of his hands

🔔Will often act distracted and try to point everyone's attention to things outside the game. Not to cheat, just to distract everyone else from his hand and make him seem like a non-threat

Multislacker

🥪He eat sammich the whole time lol

🥪Literally couldn't care less about who wins or loses and just picks whatever card works when it's his turn

🥪He does find the constant bickering ond banter mildly amusing, though

Mouthpiece

☎️She made everyone cookies to enjoy during the game!

☎️ Doesn't really care what happens as long as everyone's having fun

☎️Tries to stop arguments and reminds everyone it's just a game and not that serious. She doesn't realize part of the fun of Toono is those arguments

Major Player

🎹You can tell that he's secretly mad when he doesn't win, but he plays it cool

🎹Makes a big show of himself to everyone

🎹He was secretly recording the entire game and uploads it to YouTube when it's done

Firestarter

🔥You can tell he's pretty guilty when he has to play a +2 or +4, but he only looks away quietly

🔥Graham insisted on sitting next to him so poor Flint gets extra guilt

🔥He doesn't really talk much and gets pretty freaked out by the loud arguments

Plutocrat

🌑Gets kinda upset when he doesn't win or when something goes poorly for him and he starts up arguments about it

🌑 Threatens that he's gonna have his Satellite Investors "persuade" them to join if they don't knock it off

🌑Even if he just seems really grumpy the whole time, he actually had a lot of fun. He just won't tell anyone about it

Treekiller

🪵Gets into a LOT of arguments over the game

🪵He takes it just a bit too seriously, for some reason. Like, just a tad? Like, he's genuinely kinda upset and kinda joking along?

🪵He flips the table at the end

Chainsaw Consultant

���Really quiet the entire time

🪚Kinda "Hmm" and "Hmph"s through it, but does occasionally actually speak

🪚Refuses to get mad or participate in the arguments

🪚Clearly finds amusement in sending out +4s, though

Featherbedder

💤Keeps falling asleep

💤Is just too tired to do or say much other than just play the game

Pacesetter

👟Well of COURSE someone as perfect as him is gonna win!

👟Insists on sitting next to Flint. There's a good amount of PDA

👟He'll act like he's being his usual impatient self and force everyone to play fast but he's ACTUALLY playing the long con. He actually has a strategy

👟He waits until he only has wild cards, +4s, and +2s. Then just plays those one at a time until he wins

👟Then Spruce flips the table and he gets mad

[alicent-vi-britannia]

Why did Lelouch order Euphemia to exterminate the Japanese?

In my post about Code Geass' modern reinterpretation of the Faust legend, I lightly touched on the famous Japanese Special Administrative Zone massacre, but it was not the main focus of my analysis. This time, it will be. I'll try to explain to you why Lelouch's Geass activated right at the moment he talked about a hypothetical scenario in which he ordered Euphemia to wipe out all the Elevens.

It was essentially for two reasons. I already said the first in that publication that I mentioned, but I will make a small summary.

Because it went against his heart's desire:

First of all, one must understand that Geass is the manifestation of the user's deepest desire. It gives them the power necessary to achieve that desire. Lelouch began to desire power when his father exiled him and his sister to Japan to use them as political tools, since he felt powerless. He wanted the power to change his helpless situation, to find justice for the murder of his mother, and, essentially, to destroy Britannia (and, by extension, exact revenge). That's why his Geass manifests as mind control.

When Euphemia inaugurated the ZEAJ, she put Lelouch in conflict. "Although he 'planned' to use Geass on Euphemia to force her to shoot him with the idea that he could fake his death, so that the Japanese would forever distrust Britannia and Zero could show himself as a martyr, Lelouch did not actually wanted to hurt Euphemia. This is why his Geass eye was constantly hurting throughout the episode. Lelouch knew deep down that he would join Euphemia if she pushed him hard enough, and he also knew that this was against his wish."

Worse yet, if Lelouch allied with Euphemia, he would ruin everything he had been actively working for until now as Lelouch would eventually be forced to take off Zero's mask and become a pawn of Britannia. But still, he did it. Partly because of his affection for Euphemia, his dear sister. Partly because Lelouch was shocked to discover that she promoted the Administrative Zone of Japan for Nunnally (his very reason for creating a new world).

In fact, the program tells us that he does not want to use his Geass on Euphemia by unmasking himself in front of her in a literal and metaphorical sense since it is a sign of vulnerability (Lelouch does not have the confidence to show his identity to his men, but he does to Euphemia); by metaphorical sense, I mean that he is honest with her, since he immediately goes on to explain his master plan to regain the support of the Elevens and it is known that when someone reveals his cards prematurely, it is because he really has no intention to use them.

That is why his Geass, which is supernatural in nature and not a machine that Lelouch operates, is activated at that moment as it keeps him on the path to fulfilling his wish: destroying Britannia.

It is here that Lelouch first realizes that Geass is a diabolical power (or, as I said in my analysis of the Faust legend, that Geass gives him the desire for it in a poisoned way). That is why this scene is so important to the story (and, needless to say, this constitutes a precursor to Zero Requiem).

2. Out of arrogance:

There is an erroneous generalization in the fandom that the Japanese Special Administrative Zone massacre was the product of a prank by Lelouch. But it is not true and from there I say that there is a misinterpretation of the scene. It is hyperbole (exaggeration, to put it simply).

First we will review the dialogue of the scene: Euphemia: Did you [Lelouch] really think that just by threatening me I would shoot you? [Remember that Lelouch "planned" to use Geass on her to force her to shoot him to tarnish Euphemia's reputation and become a victim or, rather, a martyr, and then emerge as the only Messiah the Elevens can turn to] Lelouch: Oh no, you've got it all wrong! When I really want people to follow my orders, they won't resist me, whether it's shooting me, granting forgiveness to Suzaku, or any order. Euphemia: Oh, now you're being silly! Stop joking with me. Lelouch: I'm serious! For example, if you were told to kill all the Japanese, it wouldn't matter how you felt about it…

Euphemia does not believe Lelouch when she says that he is capable of dictating any order he wants and she will comply without any choice. Only, instead of telling him "you're lying to me" or "you're giving me shit," she says "stop joking me me!" because she's too kind to think that Lelouch is blatantly lying to her and, come on, what he's telling is not credible.

The thing is, Lelouch insists on it because he wants to convince her that he is sooooo powerful that he could order her something that would go against her nature and she would have to obey. It's pure arrogance due to him being raised as a prince (and being born in an empire with Social Darwinist ideology) and, as C.C. pointed out in episode 7, Lelouch is a sore loser. He has a hard time admitting when he loses, so he disguises his wounded ego with bragging. This brings us to another point that I have touched on through the enneagram: Lelouch is not comfortable being vulnerable and I think here Lelouch discovers that he had misjudged Euphemia, so another reason to protect his wounded ego: he did not want to admit that he had mistaken. So when Lelouch goes on to talk about his Geass, he's basically saying, "I could have won if I wanted to."

We can relate this to the concept of "hybris" from Greek tragedy. Hubris is usually understood as "arrogance", "pride", "excessive confidence". But it's not exactly that. Let's say that this is the modern reassignment of the term, although, deep down, the original concept does have to do with arrogance and pride. Let me explain: there is no literal translation in English of "hybris", but the closest thing is "disproportionateness", in the sense of "transgressing the limits imposed by the gods on mortals." That's hubris. Believe that you are above the gods.

To give two examples: although it is true that Oedipus has anger problems, his hubris lies in the fact that he boasted of having succeeded where the fortune tellers failed by solving the riddle of the Sphinx that caused problems for Thebes and divination was a divine power, which Oedipus disdained in favor of his ingenuity (now I find it more ironic, because the one who grante the power of divination is Apollo and he was the one who sent that plague on Thebes for the patricide Oedipus committed. Now, I ask you, Will a plague have fallen on Japan after Suzaku killed his father?).

Likewise, Oedipus boasted that he had escaped destiny, and destiny is a divine decree that must be respected. It was later discovered that it was not like that and, in fact, he had killed his father and married his mother.

Arachne boasted that she was a better weaver than Athena and, because she was arrogant, the goddess turned her into a spider.

Lelouch boasted of being able to twist the wills of others as he pleased, and look what happened to him: he ended up giving an order against their will (aha, Lelouch, what does it feel like to be on the other side of the table? What do you think? Do you feel like you're being forced to do something you don't want to?). An order that brought misfortune to thousands of innocents, including his sister and himself.

In summary? Don't mess with gods or the supernatural. Be humble.

[girlhorse]

I understand you might not want to share, but if you dont mind, what happened? no judgment of course shit happens

under cut bc its long and boring kinda but i need to vent lol

it's like... literally nothing. not even interesting really. when i got hurt last week it was while breaking company safety policy - in the salon I'm in, literally everyons breaks several policies daily, bc our manager doesn't enforce them and most of us including me don't know the actual rules because of this. I got "caught" essentially because i got injured, so now my boss has been giving me so much shit for it. I'll concede that i knew i was breaking the rules leading up to the incident, but it was a rule i thought was "safe" to break in that particular salon bc i was told it was ok by another employee that worked there.

fwiw i still don't think what i did caused the incident to occur, they are only related in that they happened close together. and it doesnt matter if they're not related bc corporate will see them as related either way

on top of this my boss since i started has been really hard on me for seemingly no reason. She called me rude & irritating to my face many times, which stopped after we had a meeting with the gm. she consistently has accused me of things i havent done and has it in her head that I'm slow at my job and incompetent.

I struggle to understand what she wants from me. Recently I left late due to being stuck on a difficult groom that was taking a long time, ans her response was to accuse me of purposely staying late (again mind you) in order to make more money ig. She then continued to threaten me with retraining. today i left on time despite having a busy day, after asking her if she wanted me to stay and clean or if she wanted me to clock out. she told me to clean my station and leave. i did that and I left, and after i left she got mad that i didnt clean and asked me to come back to clean which regrettably i did go back to do like..off the clock lol.

today was the first time ive worked with her since i got injured and since she became like... mad at me about it idk. and shes been kind of being snippy more than anything..i literally had a nightmare about working today last night bc I've been so out of my mind anxious all weekend (her way of communicating that I'm in trouble is to just hint at a looming meeting, tell me shes unhappy and like let me fuckin simmwr with rhat for hours or days) and while she disnt outright yell at me or anything today she just kept making snide remarks or criticizing me constantly, not just privately but in front of others too. today was just so busy and i was anxious and fawning the whole damn day because of it and im exhausted. i worked so hard and did my damn best to please her like..almost subconsciously. i felt like i was dissociating. i was very anxious all day and frazzled and had trouble focusing. it ended up getting me in trouble during closing too.

its just really frustrating bc it only seems to happen to me. My othsr coworkers stay late with her on busy days. and i feel confused about what she expects from me.

[bambiscottagecare]

I went out with some old coworkers today. I feel like without the emotion this could have been one hell of a kink post but it’s hard for me to want to spin this that way, so I’m posting here instead.

I found out that the person who was essentially my workplace bully (as cringe as that sounds) is in the middle of an active investigation because the district manager wants her fired. Multiple people have quit, including some new hires, several of the shift leads have either threatened to or have transferred, and apparently my name has floated around a bit. The DM actually wants to talk to me specifically but technically can’t because I don’t work there. I’ll gladly meet her at Applebee’s and spill over a shark bowl or some Sangria though. It feels really validating, though depressing. Not that it matters in the end because she’s still working there and my indeed inbox has cobwebs.

I would love to tell her about how she treated me like dog shit. About how she constantly made me feel worthless, and (sorry but I’m gonna use the word outside of kinkplay) retarded. Everything Idid felt wrong, and no matter what it was it never felt like I was good enough. I’d love to talk about how she always put me in lose-lose scenarios to prove a point, or how I’d have to give myself long pep talks before leaving. Or how I started smoking again after getting hired, because being stoned and bed rotting was what helped me unwind and relax. And despite posting about being a dumb bimbo I never wore makeup to work because I physically did not have it in me to put on a face for people that didn’t like me, and I sure as hell didn’t want to cry off my face that I worked so hard on. I actually barely even wear makeup anymore. I’m gonna lose platinum at Ulta and I’ve already lost rouge at Sephora. Kinda ironic considering part of the kink is makeup and being hyper feminine, huh? Speaking of…

When I come on here and talk about wanting to be degraded and called slurs and stuff that’s obviously in the context of kink. I sign up for it, quite literally. I consent to DM’s and mean reblogs. And if I’m not consenting, I’m not on tumblr because I’m not in that headspace. And if you’ve managed to cross a line even with that consent, I’ll just block you.

But…I haven’t had that problem. Truth is masochistic misogyny doms, in my experience, have been wonderful. They check in on you. Even if they’re not domming you and are just randos that come across your content. I KNOW that it’s not always that way. We all have horror stories it seems like. I just haven’t. I can tell you all about people like my former boss who come off as sweet and caring just to be the worst person ever, but in the 30 years that I’ve been alive and the 12ish where I’ve been either in this space or adjacent, I can count on one hand the bad experiences I’ve had with a self proclaimed Superior Male.

And I’d rather have the guy posting about how we’re (women) are all useless retards and not worth the shit in their toilet in my DM’s and in my life than the guy with the aesthetic Twitter account who always retweets anti-bullying psas anywhere near me.

Uh, thanks for coming to my ted talk ig, all four of you that follow this blog.

[anthonysfuneral]

Billy Hargrove & Intermittent Explosive Disorder

"Anthony, when will you stop posting about Billy Hargrove's trauma?"

Never. Next question.

Anyway, obviously I'm not a licensed psychologist. I'm literally a 16 year old junior in high school. But lately, it's been a little worm in my brain on what mental illness Billy might possibly suffer from as a result of his trauma, besides the obvious PTSD.

And in the end, when it came to narrowing it down from bipolar to borderline, I landed on IED: intermittent explosive disorder.

Most of my information is coming from Mayo Clinic, so I'll just be copy and pasting information from their page on this disorder and attaching instances of Billy's behavior that fit the descriptions.

"Intermittent explosive disorder involves repeated, sudden episodes of impulsive, aggressive, violent behavior or angry verbal outbursts in which you react grossly out of proportion to the situation."

I think this one is pretty self explanatory. This is behavior Billy exhibits throughout quite literally the entire show.

"These intermittent, explosive outbursts cause you significant distress, negatively impact your relationships, work and school, and they can have legal and financial consequences."

Throughout the show, Billy seems to constantly be under duress. You can attribute these feelings to his situation (let it be his abuse or possession), but you can clearly see how upset he gets after he explodes at Neil over Max not being his sister. It's no question the way Billy acts isolates him from the rest of the party, either. There's not much insight into the last two I can pull, so I won't go into them.

"Explosive eruptions occur suddenly, with little or no warning, and usually last less than 30 minutes. These episodes may occur frequently or be separated by weeks or months of nonaggression. Less severe verbal outbursts may occur in between episodes of physical aggression. You may be irritable, impulsive, aggressive or chronically angry most of the time."

A lot of the time time, there's no build up to Billy's violent episodes. They often last for short periods, as well. These episodes occur constantly throughout the show, and when they're not involving violent physical altercations, Billy is either yelling at Max or someone else. I don't think I need to go into detail on that last point: one of Billy's key traits is his constant anger.

"Aggressive episodes may be preceded or accompanied by:

Rage (Self-explanatory.)

Irritability (ALSO self-explanatory.)

Increased energy (If you watch some of Billy's body language, you can see he is CONSTANTLY moving, especially when he's angry. I.e:

Tingling (See below.)

Tremors (Hi. This is below. I say that because tingling is essentially internal tremors. And when do we see Billy tremoring? Once again, nearly all the time.)

Palpitations (Billy seems to constantly be in an intense state, so it'd be no surprise for his heart to palpitate.)

Chest tightness (This can go with what I said above.)

"The explosive verbal and behavioral outbursts are out of proportion to the situation, with no thought to consequences, and can include:

Temper tantrums (Billy is almost always constantly angry or sobbing.)

Tirades (Whenener he goes off on Max or her friends.)

Heated arguments (Almost every interaction of his with Max.)

Shouting (Almost every interaction in general.)

Slapping, shoving or pushing (How he fights with Max/his dad on occasion.)

Physical fights (His altercation with Steve.)

Property damage ("You know what happens when you disobey me? I break things.")

Threatening or assaulting people or animals (His constant threats toward others.)"

"You may feel a sense of relief and tiredness after the episode. Later, you may feel remorse, regret or embarrassment."

Billy seems almost burnt out after every outburst he has.

"Intermittent explosive disorder can begin in childhood — after the age of 6 years — or during the teenage years. It's more common in younger adults than in older adults. The exact cause of the disorder is unknown, but it's probably caused by a number of environmental and biological factors.

Environment. Most people with this disorder grew up in families where explosive behavior and verbal and physical abuse were common. Being exposed to this type of violence at an early age makes it more likely these children will exhibit these same traits as they mature.

Genetics. There may be a genetic component, causing the disorder to be passed down from parents to children.

Differences in how the brain works. There may be differences in the structure, function and chemistry of the brain in people with intermittent explosive disorder compared to people who don't have the disorder."

You don't see Billy's anger in a lot of his flashbacks, but it's a focal point of his character in the seasons he's present within, in which he's a teenager being on the cusp of young adulthood. It's no question that Billy grew up in a troubled environment or that Neil also has the disorder, so those are two EXTREMELY likely causes for him to inherit the disorder.

"Risk factors

These factors increase your risk of developing intermittent explosive disorder:

History of physical abuse. People who were abused as children or experienced multiple traumatic events have an increased risk of intermittent explosive disorder.

History of other mental health disorders. People who have antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder or other disorders that include disruptive behaviors, such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), have an increased risk of also having intermittent explosive disorder."

It's also no question that Billy grew up in a physically abusive environment with Neil, and it's clear he already suffers from PTSD. Two very clear risk factors.

—

So, anyway. All that being said, I believe there is a VERY likely chance Billy has intermittent explosive disorder. I know this probably wasn't an intended choice on the part of the Stranger Things crew, but I like thinking of Billy more realistically suffering from his trauma. The most we see as a reaction is his angry and depressive outbursts, and that's simply not all there is to trauma stemming from childhood abuse.

Also. I'd kill for someone to use this as a fic concept.

Feel free to add onto this if you please! This is just my brainrot.

[domreader-headcannon-scenarios]

I will never understand abusers. I was talking with my friend and she told me that her dad's father (her granddad) was so against his and her mom's relationship he literally punched her for standing up for her dad. He passed before she was born but the stuff he did to her parents were just god awful.

I have a special kind of hatred towards abusive/toxic people (which is why I snap/go rapid when I see it in media or people) like I was unlucky and have a physically and mentally abusive father and my mom is emotionally manipulative and very neglectful.

I live with my father still in my grandmothers house (she literally knows all the shit he’s done and refuses to do/say anything and always defends my father and everytime I ‘try’ to argue back they essentially threaten to throw me on the streets for acting like a crazy bitch ‘just like your mother’)

It’s just fucking disgusting and horrible that it’s 2022 (almost 2023) and this shit is still so common??? Like literally emotional abuse isn’t something you can be arrested for and going to authorities is significantly more dangerous since THEY DONT FUCKING PROTECT YOU. Like my dad was horrible to my mom (he straight up was an alcoholic and a drug addict who refused to work and he constantly threatened to hurt/kill me or my brother if our mother didn’t fucking do whatever he wanted)

My mom, went to the fucking police over this. Their advice? “Just move, it’s not that hard.” They basically wouldn’t help until we had solid evidence or one of us was badly hurt. My mom got better with us (she was only aggressive towards us since our father targed her the most, but once she left he targeted me) and left us with our father, thinking she was the problem.

Obviously, that didn’t help. And she divorced our father, which was really bloody and it’s been over 7 years and my dad still threatens her (and us) and we’ve gone to the police, and we’re told the only way they’d do anything is if we press charges.

Why the fuck would we press charges if THEY WON’T PROTECT US DURING THE PROCESS??? Our father is a hunter with a fuck ton of guns, bows & arrows, and UNMARKED GUNS.

We are not going to do anything to worsen the situation obviously, but since if WE leave, he’d hurt or grandmother, she REFUSES to leave or kick him out, even though it’s HER house. My mom is my grandmas daughter. My grandma on my dads side has been missing for over 2 years. He keeps saying he has her in a retirement home, but he won’t tell us and he just came home with her dog one day and gave it to his new girlfriend…

Sorry to just vent but my family is a fucking disaster, and I feel bad when I snap at people for doing similar thinks bc for lack of better words…it ‘triggers’ me I guess and I end up lashing out and having issues controlling my emotions.

(Only upside is I joke about my trauma all the time and it might be alarming to others it’s lowkey amusing for me to just laugh it off than to ever try to confront it)

I should probably meantion I was going to therapy when I was 10-20 and it just…didn’t work, I’m on a lot of medication that kinda helps and my brother wants me to get a therapist but honestly I’m not sure it’ll do anything. I’ve been through 5 therapist and honestly I think I stress them more than they help me.

I feel bad for your friends parents though, that’s just so bad…at least, it sounds like their parents do actually care for each other, and I’m sorry your father was hit, I’m genuinely surprised he stood up to his dad, I would be way too scared.

Your friends dad is hella fucking brave and I’m happy to know he at least ended up having a nice family of his own. He deserves to be happy!

[itsclydebitches]

I am briefly pausing my normal RWBY content to talk about something completely different: Kang Soo-Jin. 

I binged True Beauty recently. As in, “I haven’t managed to watch anything new in half a year, discovered this drama, and promptly marathoned 14+ hours of content,” so to say I’m enjoying it is an understatement. I might do another post sometime about why I think the show works so well, but for now, like many (drama only) viewers, I’m specifically grappling with Soo-Jin’s descent into antagonist territory. At first I was just as shocked and disappointed as others seem to be, but upon reflection I don’t think this is badly written in the way many fans are claiming. To frame this as, “I can’t believe they would make wonderful Soo-Jin suddenly OOC and bully Ju-Kyung over a guy!” is ignoring core parts of her character. I’m as sick of the girl-hates-girl-over-guy plotline as the next viewer, but in the interest of acknowledging that there are exceptions to every rule, I think this is one of the times where that choice makes perfect sense. 

Soo-Jin has been abused throughout her life and I’m not simply talking about the fact that her father hits her. Though that’s obviously horrific, what I think is more pertinent to this conversation is the intense competitiveness her parents have instilled in her. The physical abuse comes about because Soo-Jin fails (in their eyes) to be the best, which is where Ju-Kyung comes in. The Soo-Jin we knew in earlier episodes wasn’t faking. She isn’t an inherently evil person who was just waiting for the right time to show her true colors. Rather, at the start of the story Ju-Kyung—crucially—was not in competition with Soo-Jin. Or rather, Soo-Jin did not perceive her as competition. She’s after the best grades in the school and Ju-Kyung is notoriously at the bottom of the class. All she has going for her are her (new) looks and her easy-going personality that makes her popular, two things that Soo-Jin isn’t interested in. Even if she were, those things already come naturally to her too. She’s already friends with Soo-A and, as is commented on multiple times, naturally beautiful without any makeup on. Soo-Jin has been taught—literally had it beaten into her—that she must be the best and in the beginning of the show she pretty much is: popular, mature, confident, smart… just not the smartest in her class. Ju-Kyung doesn’t threaten any of that, so friendship initially comes easily for Soo-Jin, the sort of friendship that allows her to chase perverts off busses or hide her friend’s real face. 

This changes once Soo-Jin’s “perfect” mask begins to slip. They’re heading towards college, she’s running out of time, and she still hasn’t managed to take the top spot in the class. Worse, she drops out of the top ten. This exacerbates the abuse to the point where, as we see, she’s constantly in the bathroom trying to cope by washing her hands. Any tiny deviation from that “perfection”  — like, say, leaving your tutoring session when you realize your lifelong friend just got devastating news — results in the sort of yelling/physical abuse she can only escape from via a locked door. While things get worse on her end, they get better on Ju-Jyung’s. Her grades go up some and she becomes even more popular, attracting not only school-wide attention, but the attention of the two hottest guys too, including Soo-Ho. For a while this is still fine from Soo-Jin’s perspective, but things really take a turn when Ju-Kyung changes Soo-Ho. Meaning, she helps him come out of his shell and teaches him how to be a kinder person… which includes being a better friend to Soo-Jin. The Soo-Ho who suddenly lies and announces that they have to go study just to get Soo-Jin away from her father’s insults, all of it stemming from a small tick he paid attention to, or comforting her while she sobs over the abuse… that Soo-Ho didn’t exist at the story’s start. He was too wrapped up in his own grief and has been that way for a long time. They may have known each other since childhood, but Soo-Jin and Soo-Ho don’t appear to be particularly close in the past—all Soo-Ho’s flashbacks are with Seo-Joon and Se-Yeon. But that starts to change once Soo-Ho himself changes. Soo-Jin’s ability to keep it together is unraveling, Soo-Ho is opening up and becoming more emotionally available (something Soo-Jin even comments on), then her whole class starts eagerly talking up how good they would be as a couple… so Soo-Jin sees a lifeline. Soo-Ho will care for her even when no one else will. Of course he will. She’s already seen him be that person multiple times. 

The problem is that Soo-Ho has his own life and his own problems to grapple with. Between grief over See-Yeon, panic over telling Ju-Kyung how he feels, and the initial rush of dating—what couple doesn’t want to spend all their time together at the start?—he doesn’t have much energy for Soo-Jin. Which from his perspective is fine. They don’t normally hang out together outside of study groups, so yeah, he can put off a conversation with her… not realizing that Soo-Jin is now putting all her emotional eggs in his basket. By the time her feelings are coming to light, Soo-Jin is actively sabotaging her own attempts to get attention and compassion from Soo-Jin. By manipulating them—here’s a new scrunchy to remind you that you’re my best friend and you can’t ever betray me, here I am showing up unannounced at your apartment and guilting you into not spending more time with me, etc.—Soo-Jin has put Soo-Ho (rightfully) on his guard. He’s wary of having a private conversation with her about something she won’t name when he knows Ju-Kyung has been a mess over losing her friendship. He has no desire to listen to her confession of love after she’s just tossed Ju-Kyung’s beloved necklace into the fire. In her efforts to ensure that Soo-Ho pays attention to her, she only succeeds in driving him away. 

All of which makes Ju-Kyung the enemy in her eyes. The new competition. To her mind, friendship and love cannot co-exist because Ju-Kyung stands in the way of that love, therefore one has got to go. (In contrast Seo-Joon, coming from a loving family, is in time better able to accept that he can be friends with Soo-Ho even though he likes Ju-Kyung. We can discuss the problems inherent in giving one plot to the girl and the other to the guy, but as they are, these characters have concrete, in-world reasons for their different reactions to what’s essentially the same situation.) And why does love (“love”) win out over friendship? Because Soo-Jin has latched onto Soo-Ho being her boyfriend as the way to finally “win” at life and fix all her problems. It’s fine if she’s not the best provided she’s dating the best, just look at how much Dad fawned over him. Second place academically is suddenly an option provided the top student is on her team, so to speak. The fact that Soo-Ho is also one of the most handsome, a great athlete, super rich, and one of the few people to provide her with feelings of safety certainly doesn’t hurt matters. And the only thing that stands in her way of securing this life-saving “win” is Ju-Kyung. Who is she? No one compared to Soo-Jin. Her grades are terrible. She’s not wealthy. She’s pretty… but oh, only with her makeup on. 

Soo-Jin doesn’t need makeup, so why not win this competition by showing the whole school—showing Soo-Ho—what a fraud Ju-Kyung is? 

From Soo-Jin’s perspective she’s done the math and come out on top. Everything that (supposedly) matters she either has equal to Ju-Kyung, or is superior, therefore it’s obvious that Soo-Ho would choose her in the end. She says at much: If I had confessed first you would have loved me first, so now that I have confessed you’ll break up with her. Hell, even Ju-Kyung believes this. She has the nightmare about Soo-Ho learning that Soo-Jin has feelings for him and immediately, publicly breaking up with her. After all, if he suddenly has both as an option the winner is obvious, right? It’s all about competition, what they’ve been taught to believe is a competition: Ju-Kyung through her bullying and Soo-Jin through her abuse. The difference is that Ju-Kyung has had the whole series with Soo-Ho (and others) helping her slowly unlearn this mentality. Soo-Jin had the rug pulled out from under her in an instant. 

Soo-Ho says no, I wouldn’t have loved you if you had confessed first and I’m not going to date you now. It’s important to realize that this shatters Soo-Jin’s entire world. It’s not about a girl being upset that she can’t get the guy — not even about Soo-Ho as an individual, really —  it’s about an abused girl not knowing how to grapple with the fact that she finally did everything “right” and still couldn’t “win,” coupled with losing the last bit of security she had. Soo-Ho broke the unspoken rules Soo-Jin’s father beat into her and she doesn’t know where to go from there. She literally has no one else to turn to. So she falls back on the only way she does know how to handle a situation like this: by still trying to win. If Soo-Ho won’t admit that she’s better, she’ll force him to realize that by plastering Ju-Kyung’s “ugly” face all over social media. Which, to be clear, isn’t an excuse. This isn’t meant to be a way of absolving Soo-Jin of her absolutely horrific actions, only a means of explaining them. Her descent, while shocking to those of us who loved her initial character, is well written because it’s a nuanced look at what can happen when you abuse a kid her whole life and teach her that competition is everything. Oddly enough, she’ll apply a competitive outlook to everything and deal with her stress in unhealthy ways. Ju-Kyung is a victim of Soo-Jin now, but Soo-Jin is a victim too. Her home life has ensured that she does not know how to accept failure—or what true failure even means—so it was inevitable that when things got bad, she’d  try to fix it in ways that hurt both her and those around her. It’s all she knows how to do. 

So far less “Perfect girl goes ooc and abandons her friend over a boy” and far more “Abused girl falls into a terrible, but predictable cycle that the other stressed high schoolers around her are not equipped to break.” Soo-Jin’s story isn’t bad writing, it’s tragic. Thanks for coming to my three page TED talk ✌️

***

2/4/21 FINALE UPDATE! 

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

You probably have gone over it before but what are your opinions on Romione (Ron x Hermione)

I actually haven’t.

Well, probably not a surprise given the hints I’ve dropped, but I’m not a fan of this one either.

However, that said, ships are on a scale. Romione bores me but it’s not in the “this would never happen and fans are deluding themselves” area that some very popular ships end up in. I don’t argue with it being a possibility or that this is where canon ended up.

Now, that aside, what’s up with Ron/Hermione.

Well, it’s that quintessential 90′s romance. The pair bicker constantly, all they do is fight with one another, we later learn that they did this because they were secretly attracted to one another. Now they’re dating and they still bicker constantly.

It was a big trope for a while but I was rarely, if ever now that I think about it, sold on it.

It’s sort of “The Lady Doth Protest Too Much” except, No, the Lady really Doth Protest Too Much. All Hermione and Ron do is bicker and fight, they don’t even really seem to like each other at the end of the day, and I can’t see them ever really being happy together in the long term.

So, why can I see it happening? Well.

Why Does Hermione Go For Ron?

I’ve gone over this before, but part of it I think is that Harry’s off the table and Hermione has accepted that very early. Harry never shows any interest in Hermione as anything other than a friend and Hermione knows it.

Now, Ron never does either, at least for a while, but I think Ron is a safer option in a lot of ways. He’s a part of the golden trio but he’s not its heart, he’s important to the three of them, but Harry is the heart and soul of the group. If Hermione ruins things with Harry, then everything falls apart. If things don’t work out with Ron, well, the three of them have spats every now and then and Ron will probably come back if it goes wrong.

Basically, I think Hermione gravitates towards Ron because by being with Ron the golden trio remains as it is. They’re still Hermione, Harry, and Ron. If Hermione brings in an outsider, the entire dynamic gets thrown off, suddenly there’s a fourth there or Hermione has to split her time between Ron and Harry and New Guy.

Ultimately, I think Hermione values her friendship with Harry and Ron (the only friendships she’s ever had in her life) more than she does dating someone like, oh, Viktor Krum. 

Hermione also seems to like dating guys she feels safely smarter than. Hermione places all her value in her intelligence, and frankly, when it comes to Harry and Ron she’s kind of right to. They clearly value her as a friend mostly because she’s the nerd research homework friend. They make it very clear that she’s really only tolerated at best and constantly walking on thin ice.

Everything in Hermione’s life confirms that, if she doesn’t have her intelligence and hard work to offer up, then she’ll be dropped like it’s hot. So, per the end of canon, and I think probably for the rest of her life given she marries Ron, Hermione will never pursue someone who threatens these qualities. Because if she introduces someone in her life who’s at least as smart as her (if not god forbid smarter), then what’s the point of Hermione Granger?

Ron’s dumber and far lazier than Hermione. Oh, Ron’s not necessarily as stupid as Harry (who is dumb as bricks), but he is fundamentally lazier and thanks to his worse grades will be a nice, safe, choice for Hermione who can be assured that Ron will always need her.

He might resent her for it now and then, but he does need her.

Why Does Ron Go For Hermione?

Surprisingly, I think Ron gets together with Hermione for similar reasons. For a very long time he shows -1 interest in Hermione. She’s the ugly girl friend who’s pretty much one of the dudes.

This changes when others start going after Hermione.

With Victor at the Yule Ball, suddenly, the golden trio is threatened. Hermione can clean up into an attractive young woman, people outside their tight knit friend circle can be interested, and suddenly Hermione can leave if she wants to.

For the longest time it was a long accepted truth that for better or worse Hermione was stuck with them. So Ron could rag on her, get pissed about the Firebolt fiasco, pretty much anything and Hermione would eventually be back because she has nowhere else to go.

I think the Yule Ball was the first wake-up call that this isn’t true. Hermione can leave, she just has to find the courage to do so.

Well, Ron brushes that off after Hermione’s relationship with Viktor pretty much goes nowhere. And then we get sixth year, Ron has a girlfriend (which is nice until she starts expecting things of him), but worse McLaggen starts showing interest in Hermione.

Essentially, I think Ron dates Hermione and convinces himself he’s attracted to her so that no one else can date Hermione.

He reasons that they fight all the time because they actually like each other. And if they date, nothing actually changes. (And as he becomes increasingly paranoid that Harry himself is into Hermione it all just starts sort of spiraling out of control.)

Basically, I think Ron and Hermione end up together to ensure that everything remains as it was. And it does, because Harry’s relationship with Ginny is practically non-existent (it’s very telling that Ginny does not join them on the horcrux hunt and is essentially left to be murdered or taken hostage by Voldemort). 

So What Now?

The future for Hermione and Ron is, not necessarily bleak, but it’s not particularly good and ultimately quite dull.

They still fight constantly, Rose and Hugo watch their mother and father have daily screaming matches with each other over nothing. They assume this is normal and just what parents do.

Hermione’s the overbearing and very accomplished wife and bread winner that Ron secretly resents. They both know he resents her for it, neither says this out loud.

Ron’s laziness caught up with him and he just works in George’s very successful store. Ron doesn’t even really like pranks, George does most of the work, but Ron is too myopic to actually leave and do anything else. Just like all his life, he’s overshadowed by his older brothers, his wife, and his best friend. He is a pit of bitterness that he tries not to let show. His wife certainly knows.

They’re an extremely dysfunctional, bitter, couple who stays together thanks to inertia, expectations, nostalgia, and the desperate desire to keep things the same. Harry obliviously doesn’t notice and whenever the three get together (sans Ginny as she’s not invited) he notes how great it is that their amazing friendship has survived all these years.

They have shitty sex once a week. It’s probably circled on Hermione’s calendar in their bedroom, “Sunday, 9:00pm, Sex with Ron”.

Rinse and repeat for the rest of their lives. 

Really Though, I Just Have 0 Interest in the Ship

I can’t tell you why it does but it bores me to tears. It just does. Every single aspect of it. Even the dysfunction is boring.

To quote a friend:

If ships had literal boat counterparts, this would be the dullest kind of ship, it would be a wooden motor boat with no exciting speeds, it just put-put-puts out to fish and then returns to port.

- @therealvinelle

[impalementation]

spike, angel, buffy & romanticism: part 1

I said a long ways back that I thought the switch from Angel to Spike as Buffy’s primary love interest represented an interesting evolution in the show’s attitude towards—and interrogation of—romanticism, and I finally felt like expanding on what I meant by that. This is very long, very meandering, and not terribly academic or well-edited, but I hope there’s something of interest in it nonetheless. It is about 20,000 words in total, and will discuss, in more or less chronological order, the arc of the show’s attitude towards romanticism as it is embodied in Spike, Angel, Buffy and Buffy’s relationships with both of them. I was going to release it as one long post, but because it’s so long, I figured a series of posts might be more readable. Here’s the first one.

* 

“When you kiss me I want to die”: Angel and the high school seasons

Both Spike and Angel are at once capital-R Romantic figures, and lower-case romantic interests, and in both cases that Romantic/romantic duality is what makes them such effective avatars for ideas around romanticism. In the case of Angel, the show is aware from the beginning that he is very much a Romantic idea of something. In “Welcome to the Hellmouth” Buffy describes him as “dark” and “gorgeous”, evoking the “tall, dark and handsome” cliche. He’s mysterious. He gives her a necklace and his coat, gestures out of high school romance fiction.* In “Out of Mind, Out of Sight” Giles lampshades the romance of him: “A vampire in love with a Slayer. It’s rather poetic, in a maudlin sort of way.” Initially, Angel is basically designed to be a teenage girl fantasy, and it’s no coincidence that his successors like Edward Cullen or Stefan Salvatore conform to similar tropes.

*(Think of how five seasons later, a vampire will give Dawn his letterman jacket in “All the Way”. It’s hard not to read as a deliberate echo of Angel’s gift in season one. Once again, a vampire makes romantic gestures towards a high school version of “Buffy”, and later turns on her. But more on this much later in the series.)

The difference between Angel and those other, more typical Supernatural Romance love interests however, is that the show ultimately attempts to subvert the romance of him. As part of its commentary on Gothic themes, season two makes Angel more Romantic than ever (the Claddagh, the tormented past), and makes the romance between him and Buffy central to the story in a way it wasn’t in season one. And then, of course, the season tears it all apart. The first time we learn what Angel did to Drusilla it’s horrifying, but still somehow abstract. Something that seems more like it’s meant to contribute to Angel’s dangerous, Byronic image. As in, something to make him more Romantic. And then suddenly it becomes real. Suddenly, it’s something that Angel could do to Buffy, or the people Buffy cares about. It turns out that his darkly romantic aura was not just an aura, but genuinely dark all along.

In turn, Angel’s devastating transformation is a metaphor for broader disillusionment about romantic ideas. It’s less to me about a “guy going bad after sex”, and more about what it means and feels like to have the scales fall from one’s eyes in that sort of situation. As Buffy copes with the fallout of Angel’s transformation, and later is forced to kill him, I see it as being about the tragedy of having to see the world in ways that are less simple, easy, or pretty as one gets older. As Buffy and Giles say in “Lie To Me”:

BUFFY: Nothing's ever simple anymore. I'm constantly trying to work it out. Who to love or hate. Who to trust. It's just, like, the more I know, the more confused I get. 

GILES: I believe that's called growing up. 

For more on this, I recommend this livejournal post on “Lie To Me”, which goes into great depth on the way season two frames stories as pretty lies that one needs to look beneath, and how Buffy’s romanticization of Angel symbolizes that.

The whole arc of the season is Buffy’s failure to see the danger presented by Angel. In this opening scene that danger is foreshadowed. More to the point for this essay, Angel goes on to lie to Buffy about having encountered Drusilla. He doesn’t want Buffy to know about the nature of Angelus – which means that his first inclination is to mask the danger he presents to Buffy. This is one episode after Halloween, where Buffy’s romantic fantasies about what Angel wants (a damsel) nearly get her killed. Nor is she completely over those fantasies, as she notes that the mystery woman talking to Angel had a pretty old-fashioned dress. So against the backdrop of Buffy’s fantasies about her dark and mysterious boyfriend we have the truth about what he is, which is quite horrifying.

Season three then takes this to another level, by not just pointing out the darkness of the romance of Angel, but in fact puncturing his romantic image. Instead of emphasizing his dangerousness, as season two did, season three emphasizes his adulthood. It emphasizes the way that Angel is someone Buffy sees in secret, or away from her friends. He’s not integrated with her teenage, high school life, and doesn’t fit with the peppy, high school movie aesthetic that characterizes a lot of season three. By doing this, the writing indicates that at this point in their lives, Buffy and Angel are ultimately incompatible and holding each other back. Regardless of however much they might care for each other, Angel can’t fully appreciate her teenage longings like dances, and college, and having a boyfriend. And Buffy can’t fully appreciate his adult need to find himself on his own terms. By the end of season three, Angel is less of a shadowy, tragic figure, and more just an adult man who needs to finally grow up a bit.

Season three also starts making jokes where the punchline is that Angel isn’t living up to the romantic aesthetic he embodied in seasons one and two. In “Helpless”, for example, he and Buffy have an exchange where he waxes sincerely about wanting to “keep [her heart] safe, to warm it with [his own]” and although Buffy says the sentiment is beautiful, a second later she deadpans: “Or taken literally, incredibly gross.” To which Angel replies, “I was just thinking that, too.” Or in “Graduation Day, Part 1”, Angel trips on a doorway instead of making a silent entrance and Buffy again deadpans: “Stealthy.” Angel’s romance slips at moments when Buffy herself is feeling weak, either because she has lost her Slayer powers, or she’s investigating the scene of her sister Slayer’s crime. Her Romantic Slayer half is betraying her, and her romantic girlish half is feeling insecure. This is echoed by the reminder that Angel is no longer a straightforward fantasy man--or a terrifying, larger-than-life villain--but a guy who is sometimes both verbally and physically inelegant. 

(Notice how one of the few times season two makes similar jokes about Angel it’s in “Lie to Me”, the very same episode that begins to peel off the layers of deceptions and unknowns about him. Angel slumps around Willow’s bedroom and jokes about “honing [his] brooding skills”, he insists that the vampire wannabes know nothing about vampires right before a guy walks by wearing his exact outfit, and Xander runs color commentary, saying “you’re not wrong” after each of Ford’s observations. In “Lie to Me” one of Angel’s hidden faces is his dangerousness, yes. But another hidden face is simply his human awkwardness.)

There’s an interesting Slayage piece by Elizabeth Gilliland that discusses the idea of Angel as a Gothic double for Buffy, specifically connecting him to the story of Jekyll and Hyde. It argues that Angel’s split identities represent Buffy’s fears that her human and Slayer halves are irreconcilable, and she cannot fully control either half. In season three, the fact that Buffy and Angel must continuously resist a loss of control with each other, and are treated as romantically incompatible, reflects this fear. 

In Season Three, replete with various factors in Buffy’s life that threaten to put her role as Slayer and girl into imbalance once more [...] Angel once again returns [...]. The season culminates in an attempted attack on Buffy’s classmates during graduation, which essentially forces her to “out” herself to her community and combine her roles as Slayer and daughter, classmate, and friend for the first time publicly (“Graduation Day: Part 2” 3.22). The worst has happened: her secret has been revealed, the entire school knows about both of her personas, and she has not only survived, but emerged with a stronger sense of self [...] Buffy has conquered her first Gothic fear, and proven to herself that she can not only exercise control over both dualities of her persona, but allow them to peacefully co-exist. Thus, Angel’s continuing struggle with Angelus can no longer act as her shadow, and he literally and metaphorically leaves her to continue the rest of her journey.

It’s an interpretation I mostly agree with, and see a lot of evidence for. But in keeping with the focus of this series, I think you could also read Angel as embodying a duality between the romantic and the unromantic. In this view, Buffy’s struggle between her human and her Slayer halves is not just a struggle between personas, but a struggle to see the world correctly. In season one, it’s not Angel that revives Buffy in “Prophecy Girl”, because Angel is a vampire trope just like the Master. He cannot help her, because he is exactly the kind of traditional romantic concept--like a candle-lit cavern, an ancient Nosferatu-looking vampire, or a Chosen Hero duty--that Buffy is trying to escape. In season two, loss of control is specifically associated with passion, romance, and romanticism. Buffy’s human half longs for the romantic, but her Slayer half, and Angel’s vampire half, prove that sometimes the romantic is something dangerous and violent. The fact that Buffy’s Slayer identity and Angel’s Angelus identity both end up being outed by the end of the season (especially to Joyce, a figure of Buffy’s human home life), echoes Buffy’s loss of innocence. Season three then continues this suspicion of passion. Buffy fears that like Faith, enjoying the violence and power and desire of being a Slayer, means that she will go down a dark path. She also fears that indulging in her sexual and romantic desire for Angel will unleash Angelus. To some extent, these fears are even borne out, given that her love for Angel results in her attempted murder of Faith, and near death at Angel’s hands. But to some extent they also aren’t, given that she, Faith and Angel all live. 

To me, what really gets resolved at the end of season three is not quite the issue of Buffy’s human and Slayer halves, given that Buffy will continue to struggle with that duality until the end of the show. Rather, what gets resolved is the need for binaries. Binaries are romantic things. When Giles gives his speech to Buffy at the end of “Lie To Me”, it is the language of binaries that he uses:

GILES: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after. 

BUFFY: Liar.

In season three, Buffy thinks she must resist both Faith and Angel. She thinks she can only be either a human girl or a Slayer leader. Many plots in season three have to do with the danger of binaries, whether that’s the witch-hunting parents in “Gingerbread”, Willow dealing with her vampire self in “Doppelgangland”, the various alter-egos in “Beauty and the Beasts”, or Cordy choosing a Buffy-less world in “The Wish”. And no character in the Buffyverse embodies the concept of binaries so starkly as Angel does. Thus by the end of season three, Buffy collapses the binaries within herself by merging the human and Slayer parts of her life, as Gilliland observes, and taking on Faith’s traits. She acknowledges her shadow by kissing her tenderly on the forehead, and bids farewell to the illusions and binaries that Angel embodies. Buffy is leaving that part of her life behind, and starting a new chapter where she can no longer split either the world, or herself, into any one thing or another.

part 2: “Love isn’t brains, children”: Enter Spike as the id

[joontier]

Subliminal in Scrubs | V1; report x

pairings: dr. jeon jungkook x female reader

chapter rating: R-18 | genre: humor, romance, smut (voyeurism, masturbation), swearing

warnings: GET READY FOR SOME ACTIONNNNN 

word count: 1.8k

g/n: Send me your thoughts?

[taglist]:  @nottodayjjk @ditttiii @zeharilisharaban @btsbunny07​ @turquoiseandplaidinautumn @aamxxrii @codeinebelle​ @btsmakesmehappy

Subliminal in Scrubs (the records) |  navi. | m.list

Right after you put away your groceries, you take a quick shower and head to bed. Truly, there was nothing better than a refreshing shower after a long day - especially when you know you’re not going to be able to enjoy times like these anymore once you start working. Just then, you recall having to set your alarm early tomorrow because it was your first day, plus the other two wanted to meet up for breakfast before heading to work. 

As you lie on your bed, scrolling through your barely active social media accounts, you hear a soft thud coming from Ayoung’s apartment. Huh, she must be moving stuff - seems strange though that she’s doing it with a potential tenant present. You don’t pay much attention to it though until it happens again and suddenly a faint moan reaches your ears. Your eyes widen, thoughts of all sorts running through your head. You must be mistaken. You should be mistaken. 

You hear it again, and it gets repetitive until there’s a steady rhythm that has you certain about something that could be happening there. You’re really not one to meddle with people’s private businesses, especially ones of this particular kind. You push each incoming thought away, regardless if it is an innocent one or not. It proves otherwise though, with the sound coming in clear for a wall separating the two apartments. 

At the same time, you also wish the best for Ayoung and if this man is a moving-away gift in disguise as this one, well you’re incredibly happy for her. Who were you to take that happiness away from her? But as the man’s grunts become more audible and prominent, your immediate reaction to it is beyond you, and you’re almost involuntarily rubbing your thighs together at the sound. 

‘No’, you think to yourself, stopping your southward train of thoughts and its imminent course of action. Rubbing at your temple, you wonder how could you even allow such pompous thoughts cross your mind. 

Groaning, you lie on your stomach and mush your face against your pillow as if to block those indecent images threatening to corrupt your mind. It isn’t right to get off someone else’s steamy evening, more particularly, that of your friend’s, so you close your eyes and focus on trying to get some sleep. 

You can’t. 

Not when this man’s heavy breathing sounds just as hot as Ayoung finds him to be. 

Not when this man sounds just like a porn star. 

And especially not when this man’s vocals are so stimulating to the point that it feels like an invitation for you to join the fun. Or at least, take an imaginary part in it. 

Holy shit. 

Tapping your fingers furiously on the bed covers, you ask yourself if you have really reached this level of desperation? That your lack of human touch is causing you to question the very principle of civility? 

You shake your head as you reach for your earphones. Coincidentally, Spotify’s shuffle decides to land on a Jamie Foxx track. 

What is with the universe constantly trying to fuck you up? 

You tap on the next button quickly, turning the volume all the way up in the hopes of ridding yourself of unclean thoughts, that is, until you hear Satan himself let out a particularly loud grunt, one you can practically feel travel straight to your core. Jesus. 

The voice of your evil miniature self on your left shoulder whispers in your ear, “It isn’t often for you to get ahold of an opportunity like this. Go get some,” she says, holding your angelic self on a chokehold with her own halo. 

She had a point though, and you really could only imagine having more time for yourself starting tomorrow. Besides, it’s been a while since you truly ‘relaxed’. And to top all of that, with the apartment walls as thin as paper, you can literally feel your neighbor’s bed now moving in a steady rhythm. You’re even surprised you’ve managed to keep your self-control this long. Not long enough though, unfortunately. 

Now that you’ve come to think of it, this man must be on a different level entirely if Ayoung could let herself get...dicked down during a simple visit (and for the first time too!). Just imagining what he probably looks like is sending a light tingle down your spine. 

You sigh, ultimately giving into the temptation. There’s no turning back now. 

Slowly, you slide your shorts down your legs, giving yourself time to still contemplate...but, hesitation was never really your strong point (a trait of yours that had truly blossomed since your friendship with Chohee). So off go your underwear too. 

As quietly as possible, you scoot over to the wall, just enough to let your shoulder touch your old, boring, beige wallpaper. You feel your neighbor’s bed move with a little more intensity this time, and you trail your fingers downward to your cunt, which is surely wet by now with all your thinking. 

The man’s grunts are louder than Ayoung’s thankfully, leaving everything to your imagination. You start at a steady pace, wanting to test the waters. With the couple just a mere distance away from you, save the wall separating your apartments, you try to match your pace with the pair. 

Letting your digit circle your clit, you work yourself out to your orgasm - that is, until your climax won’t arrive and you figure just using your fingers won’t get the job done. Just as if you thought the sounds they were making weren’t enough to get you over the edge. It’s been a while since you had any ‘action’ and your rust ass won’t allow you to cum with just your fingers. 

Hurriedly, you draw out a small box from beneath your bed. In haste, you throw the cover across the small room, fishing for what used to be a very good friend of yours before: Lovecorner’s limited edition of Real Feel 7. Never too late to catch up with good ol’ friends. 

You turn on the device, hoping that there’s enough battery left to get you through the night. Closing your eyes, you circle the dildo around your nether lips, gathering all the slick there. A few more moments and you gradually insert the toy inside you, causing you to shiver in excitement. Gulping, you only push it halfway through at first, wanting to get used to the feeling again.. 

There’s a short pause from the other side of the wall, one you use to your advantage to keep up. When you feel them continue, you pick up your pace, both desperation and shame pumping you up so you could get this night over with as quickly as possible. 

Just as you had expected, you feel their breathing get heavier by the second, and your bed is practically shaking with...what you presume to be yours and their movements combined. 

For some reason beyond your understanding, you work yourself out on your trusty companion, taking in every whimper and grunt from the other side of the wall like it’s your own, like you’re the one fucking like there is no tomorrow. 

You’re getting closer to your high - a feeling almost foreign to you at this point, and with the last string of sheer  will, you push the toy further up to the hilt, stroking your g-spot so perfectly that your orgasm has got you quivering in bed for more than thirty seconds. 

Breathless as ever, you lie in bed, staring straight into the ceiling. 

What. Was. That. All. About. 

You press your thighs together, an unexpected reaction from the reality of tonight’s events suddenly dawning in on you. You did not just get yourself off from your neighbor's live porn. 

With no more movement coming from Ayoung’s apartment, you could only assume that their day has officially concluded as well. Sighing, you make your way to your bathroom, treading over your floor as lightly as you could with your sore legs. 

Ten minutes and a refreshing half bath later, you head back to bed, exhaustion causing you to fall asleep in seconds. 

The sound of your jarring iPhone alarm blares right in your ear, scaring the living hell out of you exactly 6:45 in the morning. You wake up in a fright, panting heavily as you scramble to turn off the horrible sound. 

Quickly, you get off of your bed, proceeding with your daily morning routine. You tick off breakfast at home today, having scheduled your morning meal with Jimin and Soomin as your first official day as employees of Woocheon Medical City. 

Making sure you’ve got everything in your duffel bag -  extra clothes, toiletries, and the rest of your essentials, you lock the door to your apartment, sealing it off with a slight jiggle to the knob to assure yourself. 

Ayoung’s door likewise creaks open, and you glance at it through your peripheral vision to see a man coming out. Your eyes widen - he stayed the night then. Hm. You’re unsure if you want to suspect him of something other than a one night stand, or it’s just this curious itch inside you that makes you want to check who’s responsible for last night’s...occurrences. 

Mustering all that courageous chi Chohee has hopefully transferred onto you, you linger a little bit by your doorway before facing the man. Thankfully, the stranger doesn’t make your job difficult for you and looks your way as well. 

No. 

This can’t be. 

Turns out, Mr. Stranger who was supposed to be your hot neighbor as Ayoung claims is no stranger at all. 

It had to be. 

You look away just as quickly as you looked at him. “________? Hey!  I didn’t know you lived next door!” Your lips form a thin line. Why does he make it sound like you’re already neighbors? 

“Jungkook,” you nod to answer his question.  “Good morning to you too.”

Your cheeks heat up with the range of emotions you’re feeling: anger - from him not even remembering Ayoung’s name; shame - for your actions last night; disappointment - there’s a possibility of you two becoming neighbors and you’d inevitably have to face him more often than not. 

“Where are you off to? Gym?” 

Why does he think you’re going to gym in a collared shirt, jeans, and flats? And more importantly, why are you two even having this conversation? 

The elevator doors open and your impromptu escape plan springs into action, and currently, just like your legs. “Work actually! And I’m going to be late, so bye for now!” You sprint towards the elevator, quickly pressing a button to close the doors. 

You let out a sigh of relief as the doors close, leaving Jungkook with a confused look on his face. 

© joontier 2021

[nicknellie]

In Wow, the lyrics consistently use “we” instead of “I” or “me”, referring not only to Carrie but also to the rest of her band. At this point in the show, Carrie is still together with Nick, and her band is regarded as the best in the school. She’s probably in line to play the school dance at this point (which we know ultimately becomes JatP’s gig). She’s centre-stage, her band is thriving, everyone loves her and she really does have a good thing going that she’s worked hard for. She’s not only elevating herself, but the other members of Dirty Candi, who play a more active role in this song too - Carrie is more involved in their choreography, they touch her, they seem very much like a group.

But by Dirty Candi’s other song, All Eyes On Me, there are a few changes to note, the first being the different circumstances that Carrie is under. Nick has broken up with her (and it’s suggested that she invited him to watch anyway when she tells Julie he didn’t come), Dirty Candi is now hotly contested by Julie and the Phantoms, they lost what probably would have been their show at the dance to JatP, and Carrie is most definitely feeling threatened. With her reputation on the line, she’s anxious to prove herself, which greatly affects her performance. The pronouns change from “we” to only “I” and “me” as Carrie begins to single herself out, drawing attention to her as the star of the show, boasting about how talented and famous she is rather than DC as a collective. She is also more removed from the other members of the band, often dancing differently to them, constantly being the centre of attention, and never once touching them, all in an effort to paint herself as the main attraction and prove to everyone that she is still talented, still worth paying attention to, still performing to the best of her ability. In addition, the way she singles herself out illustrates how isolated she must be feeling right now: her boyfriend broke up with her, people at school who were essentially her fans are now rooting for JatP, and the two girls who used to be her best friends have suddenly got a new group and are overshadowing her completely. That’s going to leave Carrie mourning everything she’s lost, feeling hated and alone.

Not only would this stem from her obviously being threatened by Julie - her ex-best friend, which has to make it worse in many ways - and wanting to remain top-dog, but she’s not used to being second best. She never had any competition before. But it’s not as if she didn’t work hard to get where she is; we see that Carrie values hard work above anything else when she tells Nick “I worked hard on that routine” and “I earned my chair” and she has such an open, vulnerable expression. Suddenly, with the rise of Julie and the Phantoms, it probably feels to her like all her hard work (which was beginning to pay off) is insufficient and worth next to nothing. She’s probably anxious to keep her reputation, prove to be just as talented as her father who is a literal rockstar, and prove to herself that she deserves to be where she is.

And no, none of that’s an excuse for the way she treats Julie and Flynn when she feels threatened or jealous, but when you consider the kind of stress she’s under you really have to feel for her.

[unforth]

Could you elaborate on the parallels between the Scorpion and his dad and WKX and Purple Danger? I find that thought really interesting! <3

Oh my god you're asking me for meta? No one asks me for meta!!! Getting this made me so happy, thank you! And yes, I'd be delighted to!

Lemme preface this by saying: I have not read the book, and I've only seen episodes 1 through 27, and while I do know some spoilers for past what I've seen, I don't know everything, and I obviously can't speak to changes in dynamics that may happen past what I've watched.

So, I noted in this post that I felt like I'd just gotten slapped in the face by the parallels between Zhao Jing, and his relationship with Xie-er, and Wen Kexing, and his relationship and Gu Xiang. Specifically, the lines in episode 26 that caught me were these:

And the contrasts and similarities that they drew to these scene from Episode 24, which I watched yesterday:

(all screen caps are by me - I won’t have more screen caps just cause I really don’t have time to hunt them all down, I’m sorry, but the first two were easy to grab, and the second two I’d already taken cause that scene really got to me yesterday).

These lines, coming only two episodes apart, seemed like a really stark and deliberate effort to show a connection in the attitudes of Zhao Jing and Wen Kexing. They've also got some similarities in the childhood/history that got them to this point: Zhao Jing's family was fallen from grace, as was Wen Kexing's. Both are noted as seeming different from the "regular" people around them - Wen Kexing, it's explicit; with Zhao Jing, it's more how others seem to behave around him. It's harder to get a sense of Zhao Jing, since his own self-report is so dubious and the flashbacks we get to the Rong Xuan era are all given from the perspective of different unreliable narrators, whereas Wen Kexing's memories seem fairly intact (well, water of forgetfulness aside) and match the other remembrances we get of the same scenes.

With those similar, dubious foundations, they both resolve from a young age to take revenge for the perceived slights committed against them - and both have decided that regardless of who the specific instigators are for their suffering, they have no compunction about involving innocents as a whole. Zhao Jing wants the power he feels has been denied to him, and sets about conspiring to get that power. To achieve that, he sets about on a course that involves lying and using literally everyone who can help him. Likewise, while I'm still definitely missing some damn important of Wen Kexing's backstory (starting with, who protected the dog for him, and how he went from "kid getting regularly beaten by the previous ghost king" to "adult who is said to have literally eaten the previous ghost king"), he also clearly sets out to gain power through whatever means he can, and to survive, though from the get-go, his goal is essentially the inverse of Zhao Jing's: Zhao Jing wants to lift himself up, and sees nothing but virtue in doing so; Wen Kexing wants to bring everyone else down, and knows he's damned through-and-through for it.

(They're parallels, not matches, just to be clear! It's not that I'm saying everything is the same - on the contrary, it's the differences that makes it so intriguing).

Now, then, at some point relatively early in this entire process, each of these young men found a child. Given that Xie’er and Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishou are of the same generation, presumably they’re all around the same age - 27 or so - and also presumably, the previous generation were all in their late teens to early twenties when they had their own disastrous round of adventuring. So, if Xie’er is, say, 25, and Zhao Jing was probably around 20 (since he was one of the younger folks in the flashbacks), and 20 years have passed, and Xie’er was probably around the same age as child Wen Kexing when he was found? (I don’t know, and I don’t know if that’s ever established, sorry) So around 7? Then we’ve Xie’er being adopted by Zhao Jing and Wen Kexing being adopted by the Ghost King, each almost exactly 20 years ago. Presumably, also, Zhao Jing marries...drat, I can’t remember her name...was it Li Yao or something???...right around the same time - hence why Xie’er would think of her as a mother. Anyway, sorry, I’m really tired and I just lost the thread slightly, but the point is: a 20-or-so-year-old Zhao Jing finds a young Xie’er; and a few years later, a likely-early-teens-aged Wen Kexing finds a toddler Gu Xiang (because Wen Kexing is 27 now, and Gu Xiang is I’m guessing around 18, and she’s likely 3ish when Wen Kexing finds her, so that’d make her 3 or 4, and him 12 or 13). 

And here’s where the parallels really show the essential differences between these men, despite the areas of commonality in the hate they hold toward the world and their desire to see the world brought low.

Because, given a small child, Wen Kexing’s immediate, clear thought is: I will never let this child experience what I have been through. Now, he’s busted, and he’s crazy, so from that point of view, he still does her harm: she thinks of murder as nothing (as does Xie’er) for example. But even in that, the motivations are different. Gu Xiang says it herself after she kills the beggar and Cao Weining confronts her about it: if a person is out to harm her, if a person even might harm her, isn’t she justified in killing him? If that isn’t the quintessential Wen Kexing lesson right there, I don’t know what is: “Gu Xiang, you don’t kill because I tell you to, and you don’t kill for fun, and you don’t kill for no reason - but the moment, the very instant, you have a reason? Don’t hesitate, because if you do, you’ll be the corpse, not them.” Everything Wen Kexing teachers Gu Xiang is with the aim of helping her survive in the cruelest environment in the world, one that has flayed him and raked him over the coals over and over and over again. Further, despite the hints I’ve seen so far that he has early allies at Mount Qingya (Tragicomic Ghost has been shown to at minimum pity him, and find him an odd curiosity), Wen Kexing entrusts no one else with the most vulnerable creature who has ever come into his life (well, aside from that adorable puppy, which I have the bad feeling is going to be shown to be horribly murdered before his eyes, possibly by his own hand to prove a point...that would be thematically appropriate...). He gives Gu Xiang the tools to survive and fight for herself, even against him, and when she even begins to suggest she might prefer to be somewhere else - when he sees evidence of her finding happiness - he does everything he can to encourage her joy, support her happy ending, and free her. Wen Kexing is Gu Xiang’s father, in every useful interpretation of the term - she may call him master, and others might call her his maid, but their relationship is tender, encouraging, mutually supportive, and loving. Wen Kexing wants what is best for Gu Xiang, even at the expense of his own comfort and happiness, because he cares for her that essentially and deeply - and she likewise goes out of her way to protect him more than once.

MEANWHILE.

Given a small child, though I haven’t yet seen any flashbacks to when Xie’er was little and I don’t even know if there are any, it’s really obvious that Zhao Jing instantly goes, “how can I best use this to my advantage?” Instead of setting about to build this child up to be a functional adult who can stand up to the challenges that threatened to crush Zhao Jing’s life, Zhao Jing deliberately sabotages Xie’er’s ability to function as an independent unit. He teachers Xie’er to kill, not to protect himself, but on command - to kill because Zhao Jing says so, who Zhao Jing says, on even the merest whim, and is so successful at doing so that Xie’er has even less respect for life than Zhao Jing does (which was never much to begin with). Further, while we know that Wen Kexing will kill to protect Gu Xiang, Zhao Jing never so much as lifts a finger to do his own dirty work, and has zero compunction about throwing Xie’er under the bus when he suits his ends. In 27, he flat out says - “if you keep acting like this, and kill the Gentle Wind Sect, you’ll ruin me - which means I can never let you stand next to me in public.” He says this when he knows that Xie’er craves his approval and that one of Xie’er’s most cherished objects in all he’s done is to reach a point where he can stand at Zhao Jing’s shoulder as an acknowledged heir and successor and proudly say, “yes, I did all those things to help my father, because I’m a good son.” Further, Zhao Jing is constantly abusive and manipulative. When Xie’er does what Zhao Jing has trained him to do, on command (like a dog? more parallels??), Zhao Jing praises him, touches him kindly (and when else do you think Xie’er is ever getting touched kindly? Nothing like the casual and appropriate physical intimacy with which Wen Kexing and Gu Xiang shoulder bump and interact) and tells him how precious he is. The instant Xie’er steps a toe out of line, Zhao Jing denigrates him, threatens to take away that which Xie’er most wants (acknowledgement), scolds him, calls him a fool, says he doesn’t understand. Zhao Jing calls Xie’er his son, and insists that Xie’er call him yifu, and the world may even see that way - though they hardly can, since Zhao Jing refuses to be publicly associated with Xie’er - but they couldn’t be less related when compared to Wen Kexing, who allows all to see him call Gu Xiang his servant even as he flagrantly, publicly, repeatedly treats her as his child - culminating in the speech he gives Cao Weining when he gives permission for them to wed.

Everything Wen Kexing does, as fucked up as some of it is, is done with the aim of building Gu Xiang up into a strong, independent, functional adult who is less stained than himself and capable of pursuing happiness in the world.

And everything Zhao Jing does, all of which is equally if not more fucked up than what Wen Kexing does, is done with the aim of tearing Xie’er down, making him a powerful tool - a trained dog, if you will - and a dependent person who can be deployed on an enemy and must be kept permanently off-balance so that he never ever is an independent, functional adult - and, to help ensure that, he deliberately orders Xie’er to commit depraved acts that guarantee that Xie’er is more stained than himself, and therefore incapable of finding happiness in the world.

Anyway, I could probably go on, but I gotta leave to drive my kid to school and run a couple errands, but, in conclusion: when Zhao Jing said, “the world has failed me, and I shall do the same to the world,” and it became clear to me that he and Wen Kexing essentially share (or at least shared) the same core goal, I was struck by a lightning bolt about the parallels and contrasts between them as people, and them as father’s, and here you go.

Hope this is coherent, I’m really sleepy and in a rush. :D And I hope it answers your question!

(Also dear everyone: if you reply to this or add to it in reblogs I ask that you please respect that I’ve only seen to episode 27, and not rip me apart for things I haven’t seen yet, and try to avoid giving me spoilers? I know a few - or at least I think I do - like I know all the Major Character Death stuff - but I’m sure if you’ve seen the whole series you can spot places where you, dear reader, know things I don’t, and I’d ask that you not ruin those places for me, because I’m watching as fast as I can - about one episode a day - and I’d rather find out for myself. Thank you!)

[soldrawss]

pls grace us with those headcanons of the human turtle bois 🥺

OK ok ok ok ok okokokokokokok I’m so fucking glad you asked because I’ve been wanting an excuse to talk about my boys for AGES now. Here and here a post I did a little while ago about how the boys came into custody with Yoshi, but I’m gonna talk about when they’re older and teens since that’s fun! Pictures of them as teens, for context, are here and here.

So they’re technically all half brothers, except for Raph and Mikey cause I wanted that relationship for them.

Raph is the oldest, at 16. Donnie and Leo are the same age, though they aren't twins, at 15. Mikey is 13. I wanted to make Mikey a little younger than the rest of them because he’s baby

Raph and Mikey are half Ghanaian, Donnie is half Italian, and Leo is half Cuban.  

Yoshi still works as movie/action star Lou Jitsu, and it was Yoshi’s wish to keep his boys out of the spotlight as much as possible, so they could keep normal lives. So as far as all their schoolmates and teachers know, the Hamoto’s dad just runs a dojo on Prospect Avenue. Which is partially true, actually, and the boy’s current living place is above said dojo)

Mikey likes to express himself in the way he looks, so he’s always dying his hair and wearing bright and colorful clothing and jewelry. His favorite thing to wear is Raph’s giant sweaters, which he steals on a daily basis because he knows he can get away with it. Raph only complains about it half the time.

When Yoshi finally agreed to let Mikey get his ears pierced at age 10, Mikey was excited but secretly terrified to do it. Leo knew Mikey wanted to do it, but understood that it was scary to do it alone, so he volunteered to get his ears pierced too, using the excuse that it could be ‘their’ brother thing they did. Mikey was of course, ecstatic, and Leo didn’t mind the weird looks the other 12-year-old boys gave him on his little league team. Cause Mikey’s been parading the biggest smile on his face for the past week now, and if he’d known that it would've made the kid that happy, Leo would have gotten matching earrings years ago. (Now Leo goes with Mikey every time he gets his ears pierced. It’s sort of a fun bonding thing they get to do, and both of them enjoy the one-on-one time they get with each other.)

Even though Donnie is only a sophomore, he’s also taking concurrent classes at the local college that’s only a few blocks down the street, and even though he loves learning and is a literal little evil genius, he also hates the American education system, and actually got quite a bit of bad grades growing up before he had to teach himself how to perform and present his work the way the school could grade him properly on.

The only reason he doesn’t skip a grade or two, which he easily could if he took the aptitude tests some of his teachers try to get him to take every year, is because he doesn’t want to be separated from Leo.

Donnie has 4 sets of glasses at home because he’s constantly breaking them. Either from failed experiments or from getting into fights with schoolyard bullies and kids from his robotics class. (He and Raph both definitely have temper issues, and while Raph works really hard to keep his in check with breathing and physical exercise, Donnie just fully gives in to his, like a short live wire)

All the boys know a good amount of martial arts from Yoshi, though they’re never allowed to use it outside the dojo unless it’s specifically called for, (like a mugging or as self-defense) and are never allowed to use their weapons without Yoshi present. (though, Yoshi goes away a lot to California to shoot his movies, so the boys are left home alone a lot. And when dad’s away, the boys will play. Raph is pretty good about making sure the weapons never leave their home or dojo, but sometimes Leo and Mikey will try to knock down soda cans in the kitchen with throwing stars, and as long as nothing gets broken or too damaged in the process, Raph thinks it's fine)

Leo is extremely sporty, and while all the boys have their own hobbies they like to do (Mikey with his art and theatre classes, Donnie with his robotics and science olympiad teams, and Raph with his boxing club) it’s Leo who shines in the sports clubs. His favorites are Baseball and Basketball. He used to do soccer with Mikey when they were little, but he didn’t like the contact of it so much, and there was really no point to continue playing it after Mikey quit. (Leo is fast and scrappy when he wants to be, but he respects himself and his body was too much to try and play a contact sport like football. Plus, all the guys on the high school teams are jerks anyway, so Leo doesn’t even bother with them.)

Raph has always been a big and strong guy, even when he was a kid, he was always bigger and broader than most of the kids his age, and this trend didn’t stop in middle or high school. He got recruited to be in wrestling and football a LOT, but he has a bad knee due to a car accident when he was young (also the reason behind all the scars on his body) and can’t put too much pressure on it for too long without wrecking it. So he takes up boxing, which he absolutely loves. It’s a good way for him to keep his energy up and get a good workout in without hurting his knee, and it also helps him keep his anger in check. Whenever anything stressful or anxiety-inducing comes around, a few rounds with the training dummies and punching bags in the dojo do well to clear his mind and work out some of those microaggressions. 

The boys don’t have a whole lot of actual friends. Sure they have friends in their classes or clubs, but none of them they would consider a best friend, quite like they would consider April a best friend. She’s special. She’s the only one who gets all the perks.

They met April on a playground, like, 5 years ago, when some kids were making fun of Leo’s vitiligo, and she essentially swooped in and defended him and scarred the bullies off. Boom. Instant best friend forever. She’s also the only one that knows that Yoshi is actually Lou Jitsu. (she learned by accident, but she swore to eternal secrecy, so it’s cool)

Leo is allergic to shellfish. (Don’t know why this needed to be stated but it did)

Mikey’s the only one who has ever been suspended from school. (It was just a three-day suspension but still)

Donnie has a bad back from leaning over his computer and desk so much while working, that sometimes he has to wear a back brace and just lie flat on the ground for a few hours to stretch it out (Sometimes he just forgoes these steps and just continues to wok through the pain. Leo and Mikey have to physically threaten to get Raph to sit on him for him to actually try and take care of himself)

Mikey has a scar on his upper back from the same car accident when Raph and he were young. It doesn’t hurt and he forgets it’s there most of the time. 

They technically have two places they stay at. When their dad is in town and home from a movie shoot, they live in a penthouse suite in Batter Park City. They all have their own rooms there. But when their dad is away, they choose to live in the apartment above the Lou Jitsu Dojo that’s closer to their school and clubs, in Brooklyn. (That apartment is smaller, but the boys like the comfort it brings and prefer that one. Mikey and Leo share one room, while Raph and Donnie share the other)

When their father is away, they have a nanny that lives right next door, who’ve they affectionately call Piebald, due to her ginger hair and her giant koi fish tank set up in her living room. (Piebald had been their nanny ever since the boys were little kids, and she’s practically like a big sister to them)

[sokkagatekeeper]

hey, i love ur opinions and texts and stuff abt ATLA characters, it's just so interesting.

so, between Azula and Sokka, who do you think is the smartest and why? 👀

forcefully looking past the fact that intelligence is a relative concept (irl, in media not so much) skaksnakd sokka 100%. it is correct to assume that sokka is the smartest character in the entire show because this is actually in the text, and in fact i don’t think azula is in my top 3 smartest atla characters – yes i made a list.

you see, azula is very secure in her own shoes. she knows how to play this game because she’s a princess, and the attitude is crucial in the competition for affection and survival that has been her life. azula is a good liar because she’s creative, because she’s confident. and azula needs to have control of every situation she finds herself in, or else none of her creativity, cleverness, or confident facade can work properly, and she gets defensive and irrational and insecure, visible mostly during the beach. even as sokka has her pinned against a wall with a very pointy sword in his power on the day of black sun, she doesn’t waver once because she recognizes sokka is losing grip of his emotional stability, and because she has the information sokka wants. azula is, despite it all, undoubtedly in control of the situation. but whenever azula is presented with rejection, defiance, whatever else that can throw her off her balance (the boiling rock, the beach, sozin's comet) she falters. azula lacks an important amount of self-awareness, area in which sokka doesn’t exactly excell at but is still miles better at than azula, which is also fundamental pilars of intelligence.

furthermore, azula’s strategies are essentially ruthlessness (lying, manipulating, threatening) where sokka’s strategies are purely logical and practical, always looking for a way to turn things around to find the best possible solution. while azula maintains herself with her intelligence and her bending (see: privilege) through aggressive approaches, sokka maintains himself and other people with his skills of leadership alone, more inventive approaches. this is indicative of azula’s privilege and high status as royalty as well, where sokka is from a marginalized community, who had to fend for himself, his sister and his village and he had to manage the situation that way in order to survive. azula was essentially the golden child, where sokka grew up thinking he was disposable and that he had to work to prove his worth. obviously, azula lived under the threat of what would happen if she were to ever dare and not be perfect on every level, but one thing is preserving your place and another different thing is being always unable to reach that place at all. while suffering is not indicative of neither morality or intelligence, this difference between their upbringings visibly affected the way their respective minds work – see above. and i do believe a decent sense of morality (which sokka doesn’t excell at but is definitely going better than azula) is a fundamental part of intelligence.

sokka lacks a lot of the pride that azula cannot let go for the life of her. sokka is immediately willing to learn from suki after being proven wrong, not only demonstrating his humility but his adaptiveness, versalitiy, and open mind as well. azula’s pride limits her to appreciate other people’s skills but never be willing to learn from them, as she sees herself as superior and unbeatable, which is why, when she’s beaten by sokka and ty lee and katara, it breaks her. when sokka is beaten, he learns from it. probably lowers his self-esteem to an incredible degree, yes, but sokka learns. because he allows himself to accept help and guidance from other people who know better than him (suki), or people who might have more experience than him on the matter (zuko). being willing to learn ties directly with being smart.

and this is not to mention, sokka is pretty much the textual definition of genius. he is less traditionally dignified than azula at first sight, but one of the show’s core themes is the deconstruction of the concept of dignity (among other interesting concepts), and he is put in a much more familiar, less threatening and intimidating light than azula (bc azula is. a villain). looking at his actions only, sokka has;

spent three entire books being the leader of the gaang on his sense of responsibility, caution and reason alone; helped the invention of several devices relevant in the story; fabricated an invasion strategy that was pretty much perfect and would’ve worked and ended a hundred year war, had not king kuei opened his lousy bitch mouth, based on information he stole from an elitist spirt. there are also several implications of sokka being a mathematics and physics prodigy (that scene where he tells jet sticking a knife to a tree amplifies vibrations, when he had literally hadn’t seen trees ever in his life until like 2 months ago; where he killed combustion man without even seeing his exact position but rather calculating the distance the explosions were coming from, and the angle for the path his boomerang would have to follow in order to hit that point).

sokka is disperse, expressive, neurotic, makes self-aware jokes to cope with his mortality & the weight of his entire existence, and is, why deny it, quite goofy. qualities which are well known to be associated with highly intelligent people. these are mostly fun little stuff rather than “evidence” but it’s still relevant imo.

so in conclusion. azula is good, but her smartest moments are fundamentally manipulation and violence, often coming from a sense of pride and privilege. sokka is inherently smart, there’s no doubt of that, but his humility and his will are always actively working to expand said intelligence. the brain is like a muscle, as they say.

and here’s the most telling thing; azula is fooled, constantly, by ty lee. ty lee lies to her face in practically every conversation they have; ty lee puts on a mask of a naïve, blindly loyal follower and friend, laughs at azula’s bad jokes, cries to make her feel bad, betrays her the minute she turns against someone she doesn’t have to pretend around – mai. ty lee is definitely smarter than azula, she just doesn’t brag about it the way azula would (and does) because it would be the end of her. just saying, ty lee’s move at the boiling rock was not out of the blue (unlike mai’s, lol, adrenaline-high queen), and azula was simply never going to see that one coming, but well. maybe she should have!!!!