#I feel like I could talk about Gwen’s situation specifically for a long ass time(cause we know the most about her)bc it rlly is nuts

[lildoodlenoodle]

One of the biggest problems and red flags about the whole spider society was having kids be workers for them.

Now I’m not saying the spider society shouldn’t have contacted the younger spiders or even work with them! But the spider society should function as more of a support group and emergency backup type situation for the younger spiders.

There was no reason for Margo, someone who is implied to be like Miles’s age, someone who can’t even drive, to be running an integral part of the society and how they are keeping the multiverse intact. She not only ran it, but if it malfunctioned it was clearly her job and responsibility to fix. When the machine ‘breaks’ and functions while, as far as she’s aware, no one’s in it she’s panicking, even though there would be no real consequences if she just let it run. There was no reason for Gwen, a 16 yr old, to be running around the multiverse alone going on high stakes solo missions(and that’s not even getting into the whole homeless thing). We don’t know yet what Peni’s role is but we have to assume it’s similar in nature and responsibility. That is insane.

Pav is the only one who seems to have a healthy relationship with the society, because he’s not really in it! He doesn’t know the indoctrination canon events yet, we don’t see him going off on solo missions, he gets backup when he needs it and that seems to be it.

For the kids that do know the canon events theory(Margo, Peni, Gwen) I cannot even imagine what must be going through their heads. Who else from their worlds has to die. For Peni, is her last living relative, Uncle Ben, the next person for her to lose? If Gwen returns to her world how long will it take for her dad to die? What other traumatic events have Miguel’s theory dictated will happen to them next? What horrors do they know will happen to them and their loved ones that they aren’t allowed to prevent? Is Gwen destined to die young because she’s the only Gwen we see Alive? And Gwen and Hobie, Pav’s friends, do they know that Gayatri and her dad are both destined to die? Like the mental gymnastics these kids have to go through and the mental torment that goes with it.

And then on top of it, to threaten said teenagers, who you have working for you, with being kicked out and being isolated from the people that are like and understand them is really fucked up. Especially if the threatening is because they are acting like teenagers and not soldiers. If Gwen is sent home, not only is her life put in danger but so is her father’s and they all know it. That is some culty level gaslighting and even grooming. Margo and Peni both are implied to not have good home lives either. The more you think about it the worse it gets honestly, because what goes along with this is we never see any of the adult spiders say anything about this.

Miguel and Jess both saw Gwen’s father, a grown man, try to arrest his daughter with a gun pointed at her. They save her, Jess takes her under wing(and whether they meant to or not) effectively become her guardians. They monitor her with what could essentially be a baby monitor/tracking device. They can control where she can and cannot go. And while understandable to not give a teen access to the entire multiverse they were very much giving her the adult responsibilities of protecting it.

When she does screw up, because she is a child who wants to see her friend, Jessica very flippantly references Miguel sending her home, making me think this is not the first time they’ve had that conversation, which is so worrying. And then they eventually do. They knew exactly what situation they were sending her into and not only did the entire society watch Miguel do it with little protest but didn’t even mention it afterwards. Even if Gwen was a threat they had other options, rather than sending her home, where she could still be safe.

There’s also a lot to say about how Jessica, Peter B., and Miguel handled Miles that speaks more to this pattern of behavior but that’s another post.

In the comics the ‘Spider Society’ got away with this sort of stuff, even having an actual infant just chilling with the group, because the spiders were being hunted. They couldn’t go home or leave the safe space dimension because it wasn’t safe. In the movie that is very much not the case. WHY WERE TEENAGERS WORKING FOR THE SOCIETY!?

[kim-ruzek]

Review of 10x14

I'm going to begin this with saying, before getting into the specifics, how much I loved this episode. You could tell how much effort was put into making this, and how much Marina busted her ass to provide us with such an amazing portrayal. And that's the kind of effort and energy that got us to 200 episodes and also, like all the episodes this season, the new energy and determination to tell and follow through with an amazing story that Gwen has brought back to the show. And that it truly showed and supported everything I had been saying for why I stood by their decision to make 200 about Kim (and her 200 traumas).

Now to proceed with the specifics and this is going to get long because there was SO MUCH I loved about it:

The opening scene.

This, for me, really set the whole tone for the episode. I love domestic burzek + mack and this served that up for me. I also loved it because of the formula of the show, we haven't got to see much of them settling into the house as a family, but that this showcased that, and the well oiled machine that they've clearly grown to be. It very much painted the picture of two parents and their child. I very much liked Mack watching the TV, and Kim refocusing her, that was very domestic and made everything feel really real and that this dynamic is well lived in, which it should.

Cpd episodes as a whole tend to kick of amazingly, but really for a milestone episode I always believe that it should kick off from the start, because every second you should feel gripped to the screen. And this delivered. I've got to attribute that to Marina's excellent acting, because the way she reacted and delivered that panic attack, especially with Kim being thrown into a flashback was truly phenomenal. And I loved how Adam handled it, while also handling Mack and making sure that she could see that at the very least, Adam has a handle on the situation which will make her feel more secure despite there being something wrong with her mom.

The therapy scenes.

I'm going to talk about both of them here. I loved how Marina held herself in these scenes, it felt so very believable and exactly in line with everything Kim is experiencing. I loved that Kim didn't fight back on Adam being called her partner, especially because I was concerned that we'd be still stuck on them not voicing what's between them. I mean, they still aren't, but Kim isn't actively trying to clarify he's technically not that, officially. And it very much feels like they are embracing this dynamic, and honestly they don't have to name it, at least not where they are currently.

I also loved that you could see that her walls were up, and that she is only here because of freaking out in front of Makayla and that she's not ready to accept help yet, and that they even more went up and she got on the defensive when her therapist was listing symptoms she has been experiencing. Kim's walls are so high up, and she's been going around thinking she's fine and that she's dealing with her trauma, and she doesn't want to admit just how much she's not been fine, especially when she hasn't really admitted it to herself.

I loved, loved, loved the ending therapy scene. I've already talked about how much I love that she said "not for Adam", that he's someone she wants to get help for, but it's worth resaying. That, on it's own, is more she's been admitting over the past few years, and it also gives me faith/hope in the direction the writers are taking them in. I also loved seeing her breakdown, and admit she needs help. It's long overdue and everything I've been wanting for my whole time in fandom. And I'm just really happy with this development and how realistic it was.

The manifestation of Kim's trauma/ptsd.

I've touched upon this already, but there's so much more to say. The portrayal and how they chose to show it, and Marina act it, was truly incredible. Not just the big moments, but all the small, little moments too.

I've talked about the opening scene, and her walls in therapy. Now for the train. This scene... Honestly there was so much to love about this whole episode, and the well scene was amazing, but I've got to say that scene was one of my favourite scenes ever. The way you could see Kim's trauma being triggered, how she portrayed how scared she was, that she was making herself small, and also how she struggled to keep a grip on reality to try and help the poor boy, and how she lost that grip when it was becoming more and more clear that he was heading to death -- and how it coincided with everyone leaving the train, leaving them alone, which didn't help to not play into Kim's trauma of dying alone.

I loved that her hand shook again, and then the scene when she was lying down and reliving her own trauma. It was truly amazing and great shooting work as well. All the blood, and the white shirt. I also loved how close she was to him, not just because she was helping him, but because she was clearly scared in that moment and being nearer someone else, even a dying stranger, was what her instincts did. I also really loved how in the midst of this she was trying to hard to keep her hand on his wound.

Now the well scene. First, hopefully Kim will learn to stop going into places alone without backup. Second, the shooting for this was equally wonderful. Her vision, the way she kept trying to refocus on Lucas, the way her body was pressed against the wall and the fact she was once again trapped somewhere dark. It was also the first panic episode this episode where she didn't have Adam to bring her out of it, and she had to struggle to try and regain focus into reality to help the boy. Her desperately trying to reach the team was lovely as it showed both how hard it was physically and signal wise, and also her will to survive, while also showcasing her vulnerability when she left the missed voicemail.

I also really loved the imagery of once again her determined attempts to survive, and her amazing ability to rescue herself, to put herself in a better place for help. That climbing very much parallels the journey she'll take with therapy, and also I think shows-- especially when she broke free and passed the threshold of the well-- when she got to the point where her mind was made up and that she was going to accept help. Which I think is really beautiful.

I also think it's really beautiful how she had to leave the boy behind to get a better signal, as it very much embodied the expression "put your safety mask on first", and yet again parallels the journey she'll have to take in therapy. She's been pushing herself aside for others, like Mack, but in order to keep doing that, to keep helping people, she has to lok after herself first, and trust in the help that comes from making that journey. And of course, by doing that, she got out, and Adam arrived to help the boy.

But that just because she got up that time doesn't mean she's okay, as shown by her immediately collapsing by the outside of the well.

Now to touch upon the other little ptsd effects throughout the episode. I loved how when catching the team up she got a bit distant, and in the train when the photos was taken. And I loved, like fully adored, how she was confident walking into the room until she saw herself on camera and then you could see herself retreat within herself. She almost looked ashamed, which is not uncommon, and when she answered her phone, her 'burgess' was so quiet and un-kim like and I loved that, it was so so realistic.

Kim, Adam, Burzek.

Adam throughout this was truly Kim's rock and I utterly adored it. I loved how her comforted her, grounded her. The moment in the train specifically as if was so so reminding me of their early days of comfort and how close their faces were in that casual intimacy you can only get with the love of your life in this situation. I also loved that scene after the therapy, Adam coming to pick her up and how he knew how to talk to her and what she was thinking when she looked at him and I just can see how much they've truly become partners.

The things the therapist said and how they fit how Kim's been.

I loved very much what she listed, because it fit Kim so well, and honestly really showed exactly why Kim and Adam hasn't officially gotten back together. It just really highlights that along the way it stopped being about whether he was ready, and all because of her ptsd. And I just loved that.

I also loved it because I had been getting nervous again. Mostly because it feels like Kim's episodes always includes Adam/burzek development, but Adam's this season, except 02, hasn't really. And it's made me feel a bit nervous because we aren't getting to see Kim being an important part of helping him. But by the therapist saying that, it's explaining what's going on in Kim's mind, showing that the writers are aware of that, and it makes me feel better about it. Because it's just that Kim's not in that place right now, not fully, but hopefully in the future that'll be different.

Other things I really loved about this episode:

Kim, Adam and Kevin being in a room together searching. I love my burzekwater.

The rest of the team's reaction to Kim being covered in blood. None of them, including Voight really, bought too much that Kim was "fine". And Kevin's expression when he walked up will always live in my brain rent free. That and Trudy's.

That Kim identified him through a scrap of luggage paper. I know there's other reasons to why she could've recognised it, but to me it'll be because of her past as flight attendant.

I'm sure there was over things I loved and wanted to talk about, but I've talked a lot and this has taken me, no joke, an hour to type up so I'm ending it here. Feel free to come talk to me and send me asks if you think I missed out something, or just want to talk about it/ask me questions.

It was truly an incredible episode and I feel so happy to be a part of this fandom when this is unveiling.

[analiticalanonymous]

Miguel O'Hara Ted Talk

A post where I talk about my opinion on fanfics

Spoilers for the Across The Spiderverse movie by the way!

I really appreciate that so many people are making fanfics for Miguel, and I know that we don't know too much about this VERSION of him from the new ATSV movie, but can we PLEASE not take away from the character that he was giveeeen

Like! Everyone makes him out to be this stoic, serious, no-fun, dry (or none at all!) humored, no patience having, cold, mean, silent brooding, emotionally constipated, solo-act, "let me handle all of this alone" kinda guy???

Like, I get it! He exhibits SOME of those behaviors but you can't take away what makes him so amazing! You can't take away HIS sweet little flaws that had us all swooning in theaters!

And let me reiterate! It is NOT a problem if that's how you wanna write him. It may be your comfort that he could drop that act only for you, and that's perfectly fine. You don't need my approval or acceptance, carry on if you enjoy reading or writing him like that! This isn't supposed to make you feel ashamed.

But the issue I find myself having is that on many platforms, unless you have some common flaws that society dictated as just that, flaws, forever ago that has long since been romanticised into oblivion and is no longer a taboo, that normal flaws either get overlooked or are COMPLETELY TAKEN OUT! It HAS to fit into this specifically flawed character cookie cutout. In order for a character to be flawed it has to be extreme! They have to have tatoos, peircings, brooding sessions, lack of humor, tall dark and handsome descriptions, scars, dangerous vibes, and a overall serious air to them.

I've read so many fanfics over different characters from completely different fandoms (that I genuinely enjoy mind you) but slowly find out that they all end up behaving exactly the same. And I can't help but feel dissapointed at the missed opportunity of expanding on the given characteristics provided by the creators of the characters. Similar flaws if not exact, no effort to expand on the characters canon flaws, and they behave so far from canon that I don't recognize them or feel the same admiration as I had to the OG character.

I've read fics where Shoto Aizawa had peircings and was a stone cold stoic that was also a daddy dom, Sans the skeleton was a racist depressed/lazy guy that was cold and careless, Sun and Moon being feral and or naive with passive aggressive tendencies, all of which is well and good but what I don't understand is when a character has a described canon flaw or is seen to have a certain trait that it is completely neglected or ignored to fit into this "misunderstood" stereotype.

Like back on track to miguel. He's described in fanfics to be a "stoic", "humorless", "impatient", and "cold" recluse. When that's simply not true!

The end credits to Into The Spiderverse where you see Miguel for the first time is him humoring Lyla and having playful banter with her! He jokingly says stuff like "okay we're just gonna roll the dice on this?" "do you really have to call me out? It's just really frustrating and really bums me out" he's being playful and lighthearted, giving into silly little banter! He falls into this banter with her no matter the situation, even after having his ass handed to him and thrown into tons of rubble and debris. if he genuinely was as uptight as everyone makes him out to be he would have reprogrammed her by this point. He's sarcastic, he's quick with the quips. He doesn't take himself entirely seriously! He tries but he just can't do it!

He's a caring guy! The first thing he does after lego!spiderman gives him an update is compliment him and say "You're one of the best of us." He sees Gwens struggle in her world and lets her stay with the spider society. He tries to calm down to explain the situation to Miles, albeit moderately annoyed, but calmer than he was moments prior where he decked a monitor at Miles. He caught Mayday, (while supporting her tiny head mind you) righted and held properly after she fell, allowing Peter to pester him in the middle of his scolding and simply waited for him to finally take her away. He wanted to be taken seriously since it was a serious moment but he still didn't stop Peter like he very well could have, simply letting it happen and moving on after Peter left. When he was first trying to get Miles before loosing his temper completely and utterly after being sabotaged by his team, he still exasperatedly tried to guide the rest of the spidermen to spot Miles and help him. He sypmathized with Miles while explaining the importance of Canon events no matter how awful they are and what happened to him when he tried to stop it. He is honestly a caring guy! He just let his prdatory spider-enhanced-genetics take over him in the middle of his hunt with Miles.

He's dramatic! He WANTS to be the stoic and cold leader but he just can't follow through! He's a Spiderman after all! He purposefully has his platform set at a slow pace for his dramatic ass's entrances and claims it for an intimidation tactic. He'll have meaningless bickering with people because this drama queen can't go a second without sass! He bickered with Earth-67 for pointing at him and being a hypocrite for like almost a minute straight. He bickers for fun!

He isn't the best with his temper, that part is clear, but it took quite a bit to have him snap and that was only because he was pushed too far. A canon event being disrupted is a HUGE deal and no one except those close enough to understand that first hand realized it. He took things too far, I'm not saying he didn't, I'm just saying no one gives him enough credit for the things he ACTUALLY does put up with. Like the patience he had to still accept Gwen even after the fuck ups she had made. Mayday being thrown on him as Peter gushes about her to him (even though he lost his own daughter and I bet it stings like bittersweet irony to him) and shows him pictures in the middle of a serious discussion. The guy has a certain amount of patience that I have to give him credit for as a person with some recovering anger issues.

Miguel is anything but these decriptors! He's not a comedian but he's funny in his own way! He's not a closed off emotionally unavailable guy that doesn't voice his emotional viewpoints! He is firm in letting people know how situations make him feel! He can be incredibly serious and cold, tempermental, impatient, and dry in humor but that's not all he is!

What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to take away from a character in order to make them have flaws, nor do you need to overdo it with their given flaws to make them a character with depth. The definiton of flaws change every day. A character doesn't need to be incredibly obviously "todays-society-taboo" to be flawed. What makes us fall for the characters we find ourselves reading about daily or hyperfixating on is their flaws. No matter how minor they appear, it's the realism that gets us all to connect.

So please! For those of you willing, try to make a fanfic where the character you write about is close to the canon typical behavior. This is not a demand, not a requirement, nor is it a obligation! It is a request and a challenge from someone desperate to find a fanfic where Miguel O'hara acts like Miguel O'Hara and not someone that I look at and can put a million different faces to different characters I have read about in the past.

[bisexualallya]

Can i ask what you think the characters we meet post-season 3B zodiac signs are?

absolutely! I didn’t do them originally because there was no canon other than approximate ages to go off of, so this is all my own thoughts and feelings and we can go from there!

also sorry it took me so long to get back to you about this, but I wanted to think these through all the way instead of going with my initial feeling (which was only right half the time)

liam dunbar -  aries or gemini

okay, so liam is a textbook aries. literally, look up aries in the dictionary, and there is a picture of season four liam next to it. main negative character traits are impatient, moody, short-tempered, impulsive, and aggressive. 

however, in my heart, hes a june gemini. he is sweet and soft and so utterly romantic (as we see throughout his hayden and theo storylines) and honestly just needs a hug. he can be changeable but that makes him adaptable as well, and it also makes him a good leader (as we see both in his lacrosse storylines and in being scott’s second). so I say gemini and chalk up the anger to his general frustration and self-confidence issues instead of general aggressiveness.

mason hewitt - libra

mason is such an interesting character, because as much as he is supposed to serve as a parallel to stiles, he is much more in tune with scott in personality and mind (similarly to how scott/liam parallels derek/scott but liam parallels stiles in personality - just an interesting thought). mason is a ride-or-die with a lot of lofty, philosophic intelligence. he is sharp and fair-minded, while also just kinda happy to be there. but also, he gives a lot of grounding vibes for liam, so im placing him as a september libra.  

theo raeken - cancer

I didnt even need to think about this one, it just leaped at me. he is emotional and sneaky, but it comes from a place of just craving acceptance and love. yes, he can be manipulative, but he sticks to his loyalties (in theo’s case, he is loyal to himself until his redemption arc and decides to be loyal to scott and the pack). someone please just love this boy and tell him hes doing a good job so he can stop shoving people away and indulging in self-pity, which can often be a cancer’s downfall. I would say hes more emotional than others, so its definitely july cancer. 

hayden romero - scorpio

100% a november scorpio (I am giving her derek’s fake birthday of november 7). she openly admits to being vengeful, and her entire personality is just prickly. girl is stubborn as all hell, but passionate when she opens up, and can hold a grudge like no one’s business. she is independent and single-minded when she wants something, but is still in tune with the situation around her. 

corey bryant - virgo

corey is the ultimate softboi and I admire him so much. he is incredibly connected to his humanity despite his supernatural abilities, and excessively kind. what sets him apart from other earth signs and places him firmly in virgo is his shy and worrisome nature, while still being loyal and practical and willing to put in the work. september virgo because hes overly critical and can often get bogged down in the details. 

tracy stewart - pisces

first of all, justice for tracy. I originally placed her as an air sign, but the more I thought about it, the more I was drawn to pisces, specifically march pisces. she is exceedingly sensitive, often times coming across fearful and sad (understandable considering the everything about her character arc). but she is also gentle and passionate, which we see with her crush on and eventual “relationship” with theo. 

brett talbot - leo

this is without question. brett is a natural born leader, and comes off arrogant, self-confident, and dominant. however, as the show evolves, we see that he genuinely does care about liam, and how he takes initiative in season six, caring for his sister and other betas from satomi’s pack. he may not like dealing with things, but he has no trouble stepping up when he is needed, and solving difficult problems to calm other’s worries. I think hes an august leo because of how dominant a personality he is. 

braeden - taurus

braeden is stability, plain and simple. although she plays a variety of roles throughout the show, she remains a self-possessed, independent woman who is reliable and practical. her relationships with both malia and derek show that she is willing to help without being overly intrusive and taking control. while this may seem like a soft choice for her considering her career, I think that her inherent practicality allows her to compartmentalize. but I also just like her so. I would say may over april taurus because there is a more romantic side to her. 

meredith walker - gemini

this is one instance when two personalities really does lead you to gemini. meredith is incredibly worried, nervous, all of the ways she presents. what we see in season four, however, shows the downside of the gemini - able to talk themselves into anything under the guise of “the ends justify the means.” she can be cruel when she thinks its necessary in order to achieve her goals. all of this, of course, happens inside her head. I would say may gemini over june solely because my experience with may geminis suggests that there can be self-righteous like its a sport.

gwen - aquarius

this one might seem out of left field, especially because what we know of gwen is stubborn, determined, blind loyalty and confidence that she is correct, which would suggest another scorpio. however, I think the uncompromising and temperamental way in which she pursues her sister’s disappearance suggests aquarius, probably february aquarius. she can be seen as timid until it stands in her way, and then she will bowl you over. she wants to logic her way out of her situation, and, despite a call to action, uses her brain to make sense of the world changing around her.

nolan holloway - pisces

oh, the NERVES on this boy. another that I originally placed as air until I thought about it more. nolan changes sides because he sees the cruelty that is occurring around him, and that really disturbs him. for the rest of the series, he is gentle, sad, often quite fearful. he places himself in a position to be a martyr for the good, helping the pack take down the hunter infestation. and oh boy, the crying that occurs. he is what Isaac would be if Isaac’s main personality trait was not being a smart ass. another february pisces. 

could also be a gemini, but I think he is lacking that layer of changeability that gemini’s require. he is not as defensive of his emotions that way that geminis can be. 

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Amazing Mary Jane #1 Thoughts

Apologies for not getting to this, or indeed other of the recent comics sooner. I’ve felt unwell recently and had computer troubles which conspired to delay my reading and writing up about this.

As such this is possibly going to not be as nitty gritty as I maybe usually would do as I’m going off memories a bit.

TL:DR version is, it’s good with one, albeit notable, flaw.

And Hell let me get that out of the way immediately.

Why...isn’t Mary Jane informing Peter that she’s working alongside a bunch of criminals?

Now look...I’m willing to give the story and Leah Williams the benefit of the doubt. MAYBE Mary Jane is playing a long game here or something. But if she’s not...I mean...that’s kind of a big problem with the story isn’t it?

MJ is allowing actual criminals, including Mysterio, to roam free. Worse she’s arguably doing that because she wants to make the movie and have it be a success but...isn’t that rather irresponsible and selfish, to say nothing of dangerous to herself. Of course MJ is a bad ass and can handle herself. But she is literally surrounded by criminals including a guy who Spidey usually only beats because he has a magical danger sense to help him out. Unless she engages in some Batman levels of cunning she wouldn’t realistically survive this situation.

Now again MAYBE there is something more going on, I very much hope so and am waiting eagerly to see that, but if there isn’t it’s going to be a huge thing working against this series quality.

However apart from that literally everything else was firing on all cylinders.

It’s difficult to do anything other than gush.

First of all the artwork is fantastic. It’s like if Todd Nauch and Ramos had a kid and it looked stylized like Ramos but also how people should look like Nauck.

The characterization, exempting the one thing I spoke about, was also very much on point. I can’t recall Mysterio and MJ ever interacting much (if ever) before but the idea practically writes itself, it’s such a natural pairing!

The gag about being insured was great and clearly drawn from Leah Williams past experience in that business, I hope we get more of that.

MJ herself is presented very well. She’s confident, she’s serious, she’s determined, but also fun, upbeat and has dashes of goofiness and flirtation (with Peter I mean).

So far, so good Williams seems to have a strong grasp on her character (again sans that ONE problem I noted).

I especially liked how Mysterio wasn’t a typical thuggish villain like you’d imagine Scorpion or Electro being. For instance rather than make inappropriate remarks regarding MJ as the likes of Crusher Creel might do, he actually gets angry at the idea that she used sex to get her part. But here is the nuance in Williams writing. Because whilst it’d be typical to make Mysterio a thuggish villain like Rhino or Sandman or Electro, in it’s own way it also would’ve been typical to have made him a pseudo chivalrous villain who doesn’t tolerate sexism. Instead she sets that up but then veers to the side as Mysterio is actually angry at the idea that HE could be manipulated by sex (or ‘womanly wiles’ as he puts it) thus making Mysterio atypical but still most definitely a villain.

  The idea of Mysterio as the ‘artiste’ of the Spidey rogues has been milked very effectively starting with Spencer’s run and the idea that he and MJ could honestly connect through their passion for their art is a great bit of character writing. It tells us a little about who Mysterio is whilst also demonstrating MJ’s own social skills. Peter and Mysterio could never get along this way, and I know that because they started to in Webspinners #1 (which Mysterio’s movie is based upon btw) but the conversation got awkward and they walked away from one another.

Other stuff I liked was the subversion of expectations. I walked into this believing the plot would likely be that about us readers fearing for MJ as she didn’t realize who she was working for and thus how much danger she was in. But Williams simply had MJ figure that out almost immediately and now, besides the Savage Six, we don’t know where things are going to go and that’s a good thing.

By the way, isn’t it great that this is a story where yes MJ’s association with Spider-Man has led MJ into working with one of his enemies and arguably being exposed to danger from him, but she herself deduces that, then chooses to continue taking that risk and isn’t bothered by it? The real danger is coming from Mysterio’s enemies not Peter’s (okay they are technically Peter’s enemies too but you see what I mean). Literally just 2 years ago this would’ve been fuel for the ‘see they can’t be together because it’s too dangerous for her’ jackasses like Slott.

Now it should go without saying (but I will say it anyway) that the PeterxMJ scenes were delightful.

For a split second was thinking phone sex isn’t really in character for Spider-Man. But then I thought you know...MJ has in the past had the effect of loosening him up (see every kinky 90s thing artists did with them) and you could arguably say they were being somewhat ironic anyway. Of course the shipper in me liked it all the same. As I did with the 20 second dance party which I suspect will be trotted out many times in years to come within the MJ fan community. Appropriately it was referenced in the same scene as her crowing moment of awesome, the Chameleon (who appeared in ASM the same day) baseball bat incident. Williams knows her shit it seems!

Now there is one other thing I feel I should talk about.

There was a rather lengthy scene regarding the writing of MJ’s character that was clearly intended to be meta commentary upon the portrayal of female characters.

The question is what specifically was Williams passing commentary on?

How Mary Jane has usually been written?

How she has usually been written until this solo book of her’s?

How women in comics are usually written?

Or how women in films/comic book movies are portrayed?

I’m not sure. I think if it’s options 1 or 2 that’s rather unfair and not really looking at the nuance of the character.

But to be honest looking at this book and Williams’ own comments regarding MJ in interviews prior to this book’s release I don’t buy that. Williams’ comments combined with some of the deepcut continuity she references here doesn’t paint her as someone who thinks MJ is underdeveloped or who’s only purpose in the story is to serve Spider-Man’s story. Indeed any MJ fan worth their salt is aware that part of what made MJ successful and popular to begin with in the 1960s was that she precisely DIDN’T do that.

As such I think options 3 or much more pressingly option 4 is what Williams is commenting upon.

The condensed nature of comic book films mean that it’s a rarity for characters beyond the lead or the villains to get much of their own stories to play out. This is certainly the case with Michelle in the MCU Spider-Man movies and Emma Stone in the Webb movies. But curiously less the case with Dunst’s Mary Jane.

Let’s also consider that this story was promoted as talking about the movie business, something Williams has insider knowledge of and thus it makes sense she’s commenting upon and satirizing that as opposed to comic books (hence we got that insurance gag early on).

In a sense you could say she’s using Mary Jane as a (logical and entirely in character) mouthpiece to comment upon how female characters in movies like Mysterio’s are more like Gwen Stacy but should be more like her, Mary Jane.

Although I must admit the dialogue where they talk about her character int he movie lacking powers and such did confuse me. I didn’t get that.

So over all...yeah...this was great. Again there is one notable problem I hope gets addressed before everything is said and done but in every other way this thing is scoring touchdowns all the way.

Buy it!

Buy 2 copies!

Buy 2 copies and some variants, then get the digital edition and pre-order the trade!

P.S. Thanks to this new comic I learned a new word! Ingenue, gotta find a way to slip that into conversation some time.

[kariachi]

We are finishing! Season! 3!! Today is Roundabout day. Season finale, I’m finally gonna be something approaching up-to-date, at least with regards to Kevin, who is the only thing that matters

I’m just going to preemptively say Fuck the Forever Knight sideways with a pineapple

That house looks like something out Dexter’s Lab, if Dexter had been into shoddy constructionwork.

Goddamnit! Think of your neighbors before you build shit that fails that explosively in your garage!

Billings. I should’ve fucking guessed. Your constructionwork sucks and you suck.

Did that man just take a break to build a lightsaber? Stay on track, Billings!

Ben vanished and Max and Gwen had to turn to Phil, those poor two, they don’t deserve this.

(btw is case you haven’t picked up on it, I still don’t trust Phil further than I could throw him. He spent four series being a sack of shit and now suddenly he’s a good guy? I think not.)

Don’t go in there, that machinery looks like it could collapse at any moment!

Max acknowledges the ‘hunk of junk’, does not acknowledge that it’s a danger to everyone and thing within 60 ft of the damn house. We had a pumphouse in better shape that wasn’t half the size and we had it torn down as a safety hazard

“Sure brings back memories though, right Max?“ I’m with Gwen, wtf does that mean?

Max is hiding shit, of course he is. Is it Plumber shit? Immortal shit? He and Phil used to be supervillains shit? Who the fuck knows

“Ever since Ben fought Vilgax, I’ve been tracking the Omnitrix to further study it’s abilities.“ Because that’s not suspicious at all. Especially given who else has been tracking the Omnitrix and it’s bearer for a good while now

(am I saying Phil has ties to the FN? No, I’m just not not saying it)

Yes Phil, many machines work like that, most with any sort’ve radio or wifi whatever do, which we already knew the Omnitrix had by the time Ben fought Vilgax because that’s how the fucker tracked it down. You didn’t find out shit, you’re just taking credit for information that was handed to you on a plate.

Okay, this map on this show is a disaster, but I’m going to estimate Ben is in the Germany/Austria/Switzerland region. But anything could be true given this is the least accurate to real life Europe map I’ve ever seen as far as landmasses

Okay, Phil says Switzerland, I say we head to Austria.

Max he’s already grounded.

Also who the fuck is calling? And why does Phil ‘I’m tracking the Omnitrix’ Billings still have a landline? You’re in the suburbs, man, are you even legally allowed a landline?

Oh look, we cut to the FN, or at least one of his stupid jets. More openly evil than Bezos

Oh my gods that is the smallest round table I’ve ever seen! And if way too big a space that’s clearly not even set up for it! FN you fucking loser!

Okay though, okay, backing up, entering ‘pick at details mode’. The table looks like it’s set to seat eight and it already has at least six. Counting out the FN we have, going clockwise- Kevin, then Vin, then Charmcaster, Billy, and what is probably Simon though if it is I will have to slowly kill a bitch. So, I gotta say, smart move putting Vin between Kevin and Charm, because if those two were next to or across from each other it would probably be unsafe for everybody. Having Vin in particular in that spot is smart because 1) he’s managed some sort’ve management of Kevin before (which is better than FN has managed even if it didn’t last) and 2) he’s bigger than both of them put together so Kevin would have to go through or around him to get at Charm’s throat.

But, on Vin in particular- what the fuck dude?! You get into the evilest looking vehicle in the show so far, owned and run by a creepy adult corporate nasty, see a bunch of kids are involved, why the fuck are you and the children still here? This better get touched on because if you’re actually okay with this set-up you are not half the man I thought you were

If Kwarrel were here the FN already would’ve had his gear wrecked and been thrown out the jet, woulda happened as soon as he saw even one of the children “Why are there kids here?“ “They’re your coworkers“ and out the jet he’d go

Charmcaster, unimpressed

Seats to either side of the FN are empty

And because there is no adult in existence with any of the skills the children have, apparently.

Kevin, also unimpressed and glaring off in the direction of Vin and Charm, presumably at Charm specifically

Oh gods, Vin’s special skill is ‘loyalty’ what the fuck is he a digidestined?! Although I guess when you’ve specifically gone out and gathered up the children least likely to do a single thing you say the way you want it done...

Charmcaster’s spells, if she can manage to cast any decent ones without a copy of Shel Silverstein involved

Billy’s skill is money. Bitch you own three major franchises you do not need the 10-yo for his money. The most dumbass golddigging attempt I’ve ever seen, and I watched OV!

Also nobody is impressed so far. Nobody.

Okay 1) they gave Simon a helmet and he is adorable. 2) I am going to kill every adult in that room. Painfully.

Kwarrel wouldn’t stand for this!

oh my gods Simon is too damn precious how did I not like him in his premiere?

Oh look, it’s a Ben. Welcome to the cesspit, Tennyson

Kevin, not fucking having it

Simon is happy though

“What are you thinking?! He’s obviously gonna betray us the first chance he gets!“ Kevin talking sense. He watches tv, he knows how this goes.

Honestly even without the betrayal risk, you wouldn’t be able to blame Kevin for not wanting Ben involved here. They’ve got the same skill set, as far as FN is concerned, and Kev already very clearly has issues about being seen as the lesser option, which FN has previously played into.

Vin trying to talk sense, it’s not working especially because I’m still angry with you

Kevin demanding Ben’s reasons for being here.

Ben’s reasons being ‘because my family thinks I’m the boy who cried FN’

“Why should we trust you?“ “Because Grandpa and Gwen don’t.“ “What? What does that even mean?!“ Kevin looks about this close to throwing in the towel and quitting right here and now. ‘Fuckit, I’m leaving and replacing you all with a rat’

FN stopping shit before it gets too out of hand

And we cut back to the Tennysons with still no sign from Vin that he has any problem with kids being involved in this mess

“We’ve been tracking the Forever Knight’s movements over the last few months“ “Who is ‘we’?“ “Best to just focus on the task at hand, Gwen“ Max pls

‘We came to the conclusion he was recruiting some sort’ve team’ what was your first clue?

Phil made Gwen a magical girl armor transformation.

Gwen is Pleased. Also dangerous.

The fuck sorta ugly-ass building is that? Did they hire a weaverbird to build it, what the hell?

Kevin, continuing to be a little shit, as per the norm

I’ll admit, I appreciate the transformation sequences if just because they’re nothing special enough for me to note and so it takes seconds off the time I have to liveblog. It adds up when you’re stopping to type every few seconds.

Ben pls

Ben- runs in to intimidate researchers into giving them access to whatever Billy- already got his father to pay the people to let them in

Again, may I say, the FN has money. He doesn’t need Billy’s! He has his own! He’s just cheap!

Kevin is just gonna spend the whole of part I giving Ben shit

The fuck we looking at

It is becoming more and more blatant that the FN got Simon here by inviting him to a fake birthday party and have I mentioned I want this man to smolder down to ash?

Time portal. We’re constructing a time portal. If this is Paradox’s premiere I’m cancelling this damn series. We can try again when people learn to fuck off on the time travel plots (they’ve been done well three times and all of them were in Pern books)

He is having Kevin and Ben construct a time portal. Together. Kevin does not look impressed by his coworker.

1) Ben you’ve been the dweeb forever. 2) Finally somebody on this show acknowledges Kevin’s mullet. 3) I’m with Kevin on the ‘let’s see if he can keep up’ thing, given one of them built an Omnitrix and the other I’d be surprised to see set the time on a vcr

“You’re the one with a mullet!“ “Yep.“ Oh gods! Oh damn! The fact he just looks so damn smug as he says it, like ‘you can’t get under my skin about things I’m actually cool with’, this little disaster! And Ben just looks like he’s gonna punch him. Are we sure they didn’t swap bodies prior to this or something?

FN starts pulling the ‘you will do as I say’ and that’s when Kevin starts getting prickly. Of course it is. Again, this is why I keep giving him rankers, do you really wanna see how long a Weyr would last if he was on a chromatic?

These boys today. Ben is just itching for a fight and Kevin is... The change between Kevin before the FN threatens to start putting them in their positions his own damn self and after is very pronounced. One he’s being a little shit and enjoying it, the other he’s very... I’m really not sure how to word it, distanced maybe? Like he emotionally stepped back from the situation

Simon you precious little bean, put a happy birthday sign and some balloons on a piece of machinery. And a little party hat.

Billy was not prepared for Simon. He doesn’t deserve Simon.

Well, Gwen is infiltrating shit at the fucking 6 minute mark, which is a shame because I was hoping to have more of her and the adults doing their thing so we could get some more interactions between the child antagonists.

This child

And of course she ends up in the vent right above the lab the others are working in, it’s not like we’ve got another episode and a half to fill.

Seriously, I love her, but I was really looking forward to seeing more of the dynamic between the characters that are already present in the lab and adding her changes the odds there. If they’d waited another fur minutes with her I’d have been good, but this feels too early and is setting my hackles up that they’re going to throw a load of Gwevin into what was shaping up to be a full marks episode so far

1) Yes Gwen, wtf are they doing, 2) I see everyone but Kevin and Ben so wtf is going on there?

Well, she seems to be leaving to regroup with the adults, so there’s hope there

“Watch wearers“ I’m gonna throw that man off something tall

Ooo, Ben’s been promoted to ‘Loser-son’ and also might be losing his nerve? Either that or the just ran out of ways to shoot back at Kevin verbally.

Rush and XLR8

Boys both going at 456 mph through a fucking tube

‘You boys are gonna have to hit 888 miles an hour’ Vin, have you considered fucking right the hell off? Has the FN? I’m with the boys that’s fucking insane

They pass each other in the tube and Kevin finds the energy to still joke on Ben, because some things just matter

SImon and Billy get distracted from doing their jobs by Simon drawing a picture of them and Ben in which Billy is taller than Ben. Billy is pleased. Simon is precious.

Ya kniw what I need? I need a fic where this time/space portal opens up and UAF/OV Kevin tumbles out, judges the shoddy construction, and then fucking handles this mess. I don’t know what FN wants, but I’m fairly certain a bigger, meaner, stronger, more violent Kevin is not it. And so it would please me.

When there is enough speed and lasers going around to cause earthquakes

Gwen has successfully let the rest of her team into the Weaverbird Nest

Gwen that is not a shortcut that is a vent. A vertical vent.

Charmcaster magicking up a portal, for extra specialness

So she stabilized the rift and also made FN a fuckign space/time cuff.

Simon got to her, she’s in a party hat

This child really needs to stop talking like she’s the fairy that blesses/curses the king in a 90s fantasy film

“I will only require on of you to accompany me into the rift. It’s your time, Ben.“ Fucking welp.

Everyone except Ben, Kevin, and the FN has a party hat

Kevin, baby, this is not safe or fun let somebody else go do not let your well-battered pride and your issues get your hurt or worse

“I’m sick of him getting everything when I’m obviously better!” My son. My dearest son. My precious child.

“Are you questioning me?“ Said in the most intimidating voice FN can manage and all I can think is, dude, how long have you been working with this child? Did you not actually meet him in all that time? Was he dealing with a body double. Did you think opening a rift in space and time would somehow change the fundamental aspects of his being that resonate throughout every Kevin that has ever been?

“The grease child is right!“ Okay, it’s official, somebody needs to find Kevin a shower and some soap

Kevin and Billy all for kicking Ben’s ass

And then Charm joins in the fun, because why not

“All this pettiness proves that Ben is worth more than all of you combined“ I’m gonna kill ‘im.

Charmcaster just looks defeated at that line. Like, honest to fuck, stick a fork in her, she’s done.

Kevin, on the other hand, doesn’t, not even a bit. He is straight up trembling with his anger. Or hurt? Both most likely, though I think the anger is in the lead.

Billy, meanwhile, looks shocked and angry at being called out like this.

And Simon looks just straight shocked.

And no response shown from Vin.

Ben, no, this is a very bad idea.

And we cut to the old folk and Gwen.

Welp, looks like everyone is all together

The ‘good’ news is half the children really wanna hit something right now. Especially Kevin.

‘Take out the Tennysons to prove your worth’ Welp

And there our hero goes with our Big Bad

I think we’ve hit part II and it only took like 3.5 hours. I’m gonna be a while longer I think.

Ancient Egyptians telling ancient Egyptian bad jokes

Gotta give the show one thing- at least it’s Egyptians are black

Also too drunk to be impressed by two weirdos stepping out a glowing purple portal. I can’t even roll my eyes because somebody needed to laugh at the FN

Ben: Unimpressed by FN’s taste in vacation spots

FN is using Ben to track alien attempts to contact Earth. The first of which was here, apparently.

Also this adds a whole new level of jackass to his behavior towards the other kids, given he could’ve very easily and truthfully pointed out that he needs a feature on the Omnitrix that Kevin’s watch presumably doesn’t have, but instead used the whole thing as an opportunity to tear the other kids down further. tl;dr: I cannot wait to see him become reboot!Kev’s first kill

We want to prevent the alien contact. Why? Who the fuck knows. Who the fuck cares. I want to stop him just out of spite.

And so we learn that he wants to get rid of all Omnitrixs so that he can take over Earth. Wonder how that would play out with regards to Kevin’s watch though. Because his didn’t come from space, to my knowledge we don’t know where it came from. Fuck, it could be contact from another dimension that lead to it (I mean, you saw OG!Kevin, whose to say Reboot!Kevin doesn’t also have some serious weirdness going on there that, combined with the fact his house has two radio towers in the backyard, that could lead to him getting messages from other dimensions like that). tl;dr: If FN succeeded, would that just lead to him having to worry about a Kevin he can’t use Ben against, rather than Ben himself?

‘Forever Nut’ that’s a good one, nice job Ben!

‘Forever Losers’ Ben’s on a roll

Ben out to kick this man’s ass

“I’m too powerful“ I really wanna drop OG!Kevin on this dude, I really do. Or fuck, can you picture him vs Kevin 11k? He’d be drawn and quartered, possibly eaten, within a minute and a half.

Well, there goes the Sphinx

Timed out and still raring to go

FN comes all the way out to ancient Egypt to stop aliens making contact, turns out they didn’t even do it

Kidnapping the child

Back to the present day, in the lab, with the fighting about to begin

Charmcaster and Kevin v Gwen. Charmcaster is already smug. Kevin, meanwhile, is offering her the chance to back down and not get hurt. Which, for Kevin, is pretty nice.

Billy and Simon v Phil. Is certainly a thing, but nothing interesting

Vin v Max. Both using the concept of ‘family’ against each other. Forklift v forklift. I wish I was surprised.

FN and Ben are in renaissance Italy now. Florence specifically.

Ben: I will stop you! FN: Kid I already kicked your ass. Ben: Well you’re gonna have to do it again!

Oh look, it’s the descendants of those two guys from ancient Egypt. It’s nice to see that their friendship has carried down through the ages.

“Serve your leader” has that worked on any of the people you nabbed? Besides maybe Vin? Because I’m fairly certain if you called yourself Kevin or Billy’s ‘leader’ to their faces they’d come at you harder than Ben is

FN, so far you have gone to two places and times, neither of which was where aliens made contact. Have you considered, quite possibly, that the problem is you?

You know Kevin is in a foul mood when he’s down to destroy Gwen.

Gwen, trying to give the ‘FN is a using pos’ realization to at least Kevin

Charmcaster interrupting her and also do you really think you of all people are the one who should be trying to bolster Kevin’s confidence? I mean, your history with him is enslavement and reading his private poetry to a crowd. You should be glad he’s not going after you.

Vin v Max, moved on to segway racing. And slapfights.

...small Phil and Max. By which I mean like, late teens. Apparently this is the third ‘alien contact’ option. Also Phil built that deathtrap as a teenager and he’s living in his parents’ old place. That is an old-ass suburbs given we don’t know how the fuck old these two are

Oh for fuck’s sake, have you considered getting a fucking hobby Forever Bitch? Take up scrapbooking or something, get into Minecraft

We’ve still got 7 minutes btw. We’re going faster in this half, but we’ve still got a third of the episode to go

Ben Shockrocking it up

Vin vs Max take 3- racing matchbox cars

Max decides to have a conversation with Vin, find out why he’s working with FN despite the latter being about as pleasant as a rabid zombie skunk in your pillow.

...1) Vin has a child. 2) That child is grown. 3) That child is a lawyer (congratulations Mr. Vin’s Kid) 4) Between said lawyer child moving on with their life and LaMoron being a dick Vin was lonely so he joined up.

“This is the closest thing to a family I have now“ One would think the fact you have a child would say otherwise, but if the fact that you seem to be totally fine with a bunch of kids being drug into this mess, including a 6-yo, says anything about your parenting then I’m not really surprised.

Max offers to let him become a Tennyson, which, if the family reunion episode is anything to go by, he may already be

Max and Vin are friends now. Phil is still being pursued by children. And Charm and Kev are still trying to take Gwen out.

“Once I finish you off, Forever Knight will easily choose me over Tennyson“ Oh Billy no... Have I mentioned I really wanna kill hat man? Painfully?

Simon is about to obliterate a man for the chance at being best friends with Billy. I would be even more concerned if he wasn’t FUCKING SIX-YEARS-OLD, VIN

Phil is going to survive via appealing to Simon’s inner and outer juice-loving six-yo

Welp. Sorry Billy.

Ooo, Gwen almost blasted Charm before Kevin deflected it, good job son!

“Kevin finish her off“ Bitch you finish her off

“Why? All we were supposed to do is keep everyone away from the portal.“ My son talking sense and also notably sticking only to orders. Out of spite, because he wants to, because the last time he tried to bend orders the FN nearly killed him? (and do any of the others know that that’s a risk I wonder, that if the FN doesn’t feel you’re doing your job ‘right’ he’ll decide to just off you)

“You’re soft“ You’re the one that wanted him to do the dirty part, Charm

Charm tries to kill Gwen and Kevin just fucking, shatters her amulet in retaliation.

Charmcaster: This is why you’ll never be Forever Knight’s right hand! Kevin: I handle things my way.

I love my child.

Kevin literally just used his last second before timing out to vine Charmcaster to the ceiling

That moment when you have a crush but hate that you have it, I recognize the look. Been there.

“Well yeah, I’m not a monster.“ On the topic of saving Gwen. My precious child

Gwen: *heading for portal to figure out what’s going on* Kevin: *heading for the portal because he’s got revenge to take*

Somebody needs to kick FN’s ass. And then eat him. Slowly. Painfully.

FN damn near killed Ben before Kevin fucking saved his life! Literally, man was gonna strike Ben down!

“I’m here for that ungrateful tin can!“ Yesss!!! My son!! Kick his ass!

Gwen is helping!

“You wanna know why I didn’t choose you? It’s because you’re just a cheap Tennyson knock-off.“ .....

.....

......

........

..........this motherfucker gotta go

Ben joins the fray!

“Cheap knock-off, huh?“ I, for one, am proud to be here for my son’s first kill

FD does not get to stop alien contact because he’s being dogpiled by a bunch of pissed-off preteens. Good.

The children got a hold of FD’s portal control. Gwen is gonna be working portals, Kevin is on ‘keep the FD from killing Ben’ duty. This was his decision. Which says a lot about how he feels about the FD

Kevin, looking for some sort’ve explanation for the fact FD is a dick and will always be a dick, because this is what abused children do

“I was the best fighter you had.“ “You were only a useless pawn.“ “I’m nobody’s pawn!“ My son

Battle in the rift

FD demands Kevin hand over the Tennysons “and make yourself for once“. Gwen is concerned he may do it when I believe anyone who can read facial expressions and/or a room knows who he’s growling at

“Kevin, think about this, you’re not a bad guy!“ “See, that’s where you’re wrong“ At which point Kevin lets go of the Tennysons and fucking dives at Forever Dipshit

Kevin sacrifices himself to take out FD and what’s Ben’s reaction? “Kevin, no! I’m the cool one!“

These fucking children.

“And Kevin steals the spotlight again“ “You really wanna be trapped in the past?“ “Alright, I’ll let him have this one“

Glad to see Ben recalling the tale. Glad to see he’s still grounded. Gwen is Good. Fuck off Vin.

1) the portal is still open 2) FD’s helmet came through it. Whether that’s because Kevin threw it through it as he beat the living hell out of him remains to be seen

And season 3 is over.

11/11, because my son fucking deserves it no matter what else goes on

[scrawnydutchman]

5 Comic Book Heroes I Despise

Have I made it clear that I like Superheroes on this blog yet? Because I can always make it clearer. Superheroes have been a centerpiece of my life for a long time, and honestly how could they not be? The modern day all american equivalent of Greek Myths have not only been hugely entertaining and exciting action, but they’ve also made their stay as some of the finest storytelling across multiple mediums. Some of the greatest stories of our time are within the superhero medium like Watchmen, All-Star Superman, The Killing Joke, The Death of Gwen Stacy, The Man Who Has Everything and so on. Of course the number one appeal of these stories is the heroes themselves. All the colorful characters that are arguably the most well developed in our culture, being that they have thousands of issues building themselves up. I’ve grown to love many from both DC and Marvel alike, and to a lesser extent other companies like Dark Horse. But some characters . . . some characters just continue to leave a bad impression on me for one reason or another. I don’t really mean their powers are lame, because a good writer can make even the silliest heroes badass, and I don’t mean how they look because honestly even if a design is undeniably bad it’s nothing a simple revamp can’t fix. I’m talking specifically about personality and reoccurring themes that the writers think are compelling but I just get horribly annoyed about.

Now I want to make ONE THING VERY CLEAR before we get into it. My experience with these characters comes largely from watching them on tv shows like Justice League Unlimited and Batman: Brave and the Bold and other stuff. The truth is, I’m not an avid comic book reader, so my opinion is VERY subjective and could easily be proven wrong by something demonstrated in the comics. Yeah, I’m very biased, but i might as well be honest about it. Take what I say with a grain of salt. And of course, if you like these characters, good for you. I’m a guy who thinks Superman Returns is a good movie, no need to take me so seriously. Enough stalling, let’s do this.

1. Star Girl

Yeah, you saw the intro picture so you knew this was coming. Might as well get this one out first. So my introduction to Star Girl (among many DC heroes) was Justice League Unlimited and she later received my attention in Batman: The Brave and the Bold. The above video where she teams up with Blue Beetle in BTBatB is a solid indication of why I dislike her so much. She’s a snarky, condescending, petty and honestly pretty self entitled princess who acts like she’s so much better than everyone else . . .but gets her ass kicked and needs help/saving in everything I’ve seen her in. In the above clip Mantis is ready to break her spine with one hand until BB saves her, and all she has to say in response is calling BB a knock-off (btw hypocritical much?). But honestly this doesn’t come CLOSE to topping the time in JLU where she directly disobeys Green Lanterns orders, gets her ass kicked as a result, Supergirl ends up dealing with her mess and than she gets all petty about Supergirl being popular in Japan. GOD she annoys me. I’ve never seen or heard of her doing anything cool, and in everything i see her in she contributes nothing of real substance.

2. Cyclops

So let’s talk about leader characters for a second. Leader characters can be difficult to get right in fiction because, well, to be honest leaders in real life can be a difficult person to really like. even though being bossy and over authoritative can be necessary in dire times, a lot of people take issue with that and associate people who take charge as self righteous buzzkills with no sense of fun or relatability. Because people who are evidently better than you are ALWAYS hard to relate to and thus you by default don’t really trust them. But some leaders you can’t really argue with. Captain America can be that guy (and he’s had bad moments in comics) but overall he tends more often than not to be in the right on any subject and a major part in how he leads is that he inspires good work, not insists on it. Cap is a prime example of a leader character done right. Cyclops is nothing like Cap. Why? Because not only is he a pompous self righteous asshole, unlike Cap he can’t even back up his own bravado. He insists everybody always pull it together and not do anything to jeopardize the mission but the MOMENT he loses something like, say, Jean Grey (which happens a lot, no secret about that), he has a complete mental breakdown and puts his own personal problems before everybody elses. Yes I know, he was her boyfriend and therefore the closest one to her, but the fact that he’s SO self centered he can’t even recognize how much the loss of Jean effects the rest of his team is just unbearable. Besides, considering how much he cheats on Jean throughout the comics anyway, it’s kind of a moot point that his pain is SOOO special.  And he’s SO entitled to the leadership and gets all jealous whenever another member takes charge. Asshole, you’ve proven you don’t have the emotional capacity to put your duty as leader first, why the hell would we give the position back to you? Storm for all intents and purposes is a better leader than cyclops. She takes charge whenever he’s being a fucking baby (which is a lot) and she ends up being SEVERAL times more competent. She also keeps him and Wolverine from butting heads all the time. And unlike him, she doesn’t let her personal issues get in the way of others. She’s claustrophobic, but she admits to it and doesn’t let it come before the welfare of her team. While Cyclops is self entitled to respect out the gate, Storm earns it without even asking.

Also, in terms of powers Cyclops is kind of useless when his brother Havok is around. He can control his optic blasts AND can shoot in more than one direction at once. Bottom line; Cyclops kinda sucks.

3. Captain Atom

Alright, so conceptually this guy is really cool. Nuclear man that can absorb and blast radiation? Alright, I’m down. But his execution more often than not is really either just a simple means to an end or a result of REALLY shitty decision making on his part. In the Flashpoint Paradox storyline he’s trapped and basically used as a nuke (and I’m pretty sure this isn’t the only time he’s been used like this). For a LONG time in the comics he’s been built up to be somebody who betrays the Justice League in a big grand way. In Justice League Unlimited he chooses his loyalty to the U.S. airforce over his loyalty to the Justice League and boxes Superman, despite the fact that he KNOWS CADMUS ILLEGALLY DETAINED AND TORTURED THE QUESTION FOR INFORMATION. Captain Atom: enabler of terrorist activity. How about in Superman/Batman: Public Enemies when he works for President Lex Luthor? This guy has a reputation for backing the wrong horse, don’t he? Also in Batman: TBATB he’s an arrogant douchebag who blatantly insults Batman for having no superpowers, goes through a whole story arc about what it truly means to be a hero . . and than learns absolutely nothing by the end of it. Yeah, I know, it’s supposed to be comedic, but the point I’m making is that this guy just always seems to make bad decisions or straight up turn evil. Anytime I see him and he’s NOT doing that he’s doing something of no real significance. 

4. Damian Wayne

Alright, so my earlier entries I can imagine a lot of people disagree with. But I think I can get at least a LITTLE sympathy for this one. Everytime I see this punk ass piece of shit kid I wanna deck him right in his arrogant self absorbed face. Now, let me be fair. This is a very difficult type of character to make likable. For one, child characters of any personality are notorious for becoming very annoying very quickly, for different reasons each. I think it’s largely due to the amount of attention they absorb and how a great deal of the viewing audience is inherently a lot more mature and thus can’t relate to them as much. A great deal of the time they take away from the drama of the situation rather than add to it. For another, Damian is deliberately meant to be a very stuck up, unapologetic and unforgiving, relentlessly violent kid. He grew up a bastard child raised by the league of assassins under the world’s most intense martial arts training, and so as a result he’s become almost sociopathic because he just can’t understand the outside world. He has an arc where he grows to respect his father, and that’s all well and good I suppose, but for me personally it’s not enough to distract from the fact that at the end of the day it’s like a 10 year old kid being the edgy badass. If there’s a way to make the “you can’t tell me what to do DAD” character likable I haven’t figured it out yet. Also, in the Injustice universe he betrays his own father for a maniacal Superman. Fuck him.

and now for my final entry . . . . brace yourselves, this is gonna be a hard one.

5. Batman

Oh yes. You bet your ass I went there. I can hear the fanboys rallying around my building now. But honestly, the extent of how defensive people get about this character is precisely why I’ve grown such a distaste for him. Now, I should state that “despise” might be too strong a word for my feelings on Batman. Conceptually I think he’s fine. He’s had great stories, good movies, good tv shows. Conceptually he’s totally fine to me. But this is a situation where hype has not only ruined the character for me by making the expectations too high for him to reach in my view, but it’s actively impeded on DC’s storytelling. Batman is too. damn. competent. Batman has a plan for everything. Batman can beat anyone he wants to. Batman can do no wrong. You can’t criticize him because he’s the GODDAMN BATMAN. This is the mentality that’s been surrounding the character for a long time and it’s gotten pretty old. The fact that he’s done so much amazing feats renders everything supposedly relatable about him completely moot. Being a human with no superpowers doesn’t mean anything when he can accomplish things no average human could possibly do anyways. a master in every form of martial arts? knows every language known to man?? can beat every league member no matter how powerful they are?? The guy who can stop himself from being possessed by spirits??? The guy who ghosts flinch around??? THIS is the guy who’s meant to be the relatable human?? People complain about Superman being too powerful but at least he has exploitable weaknesses. Batman apparently can’t be touched. But honestly, that’s not even the worst of it. The worst part is that his competence completely ruins his whole character conflict. to summarize:

Bruce Wayne’s life was changed forever the night he lost his parents to a mugger in an alley. He became emotionally distant and pessimistic, and became obsessed with vengeance against the forces that too his loved ones from him. So he dawned the mantle of the bat to strike terror into the hearts of criminals. But as he delves more into the Bat persona he loses more and more his capacity to make human connections. He wants to make his parents proud, not realizing that his parents wanted him to have family that could provide him with happiness he so deserves. He needs to let people in and let himself be vulnerable.That’s why the Bat-family is so important. That’s why Alfred is so important. That’s why the Justice League is so important.

But when you make him so competent that he can do everything himself under the circumstances, all that does is justify his delusions. Why SHOULD he trust the league more if he can do everything himself anyway to the point where every other member is a clumsy asshole in comparison? What is the point of having such a colorful and diverse superhero team if the writers constantly insist one should be your favorite? When you make it so he never has to depend on anyone his whole arc as a character is thrown out the window. Now, Batman HAS been displayed right in the past. JLU makes him badass but not overbearing and Lego Batman is oddly enough the best cinematic Batman film in years. But recently the “Bat-God” has been the mainstream, and it’s completely gratuitous.

[mademoiselle-cookie]

#Peter b. Jessica and Miguel that is very weird of you#I feel like I could talk about Gwen’s situation specifically for a long ass time(cause we know the most about her)bc it rlly is nuts#like as an adult WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT#literally not just having her work for you but then constantly THREATEN her with essentially homelessness and a very unsafe situation is#CRAZYYYYY#like it’s even implied Margo doesn’t have a great home life either#YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF KIDS#it’s literally grooming and it makes me so mad that not enough people recognize it for what it is#Jessica specifically I wanna know more about cause she’s the only where my mind could b changed cause we simply don’t know enough about her#THE OSHA AND CHILD LABOR LAWS MIGUEL IS VIOLATING

One of the biggest problems and red flags about the whole spider society was having kids be workers for them.

Now I’m not saying the spider society shouldn’t have contacted the younger spiders or even work with them! But the spider society should function as more of a support group and emergency backup type situation for the younger spiders.

There was no reason for Margo, someone who is implied to be like Miles’s age, someone who can’t even drive, to be running an integral part of the society and how they are keeping the multiverse intact. She not only ran it, but if it malfunctioned it was clearly her job and responsibility to fix. When the machine ‘breaks’ and functions while, as far as she’s aware, no one’s in it she’s panicking, even though there would be no real consequences if she just let it run. There was no reason for Gwen, a 16 yr old, to be running around the multiverse alone going on high stakes solo missions(and that’s not even getting into the whole homeless thing). We don’t know yet what Peni’s role is but we have to assume it’s similar in nature and responsibility. That is insane.

Pav is the only one who seems to have a healthy relationship with the society, because he’s not really in it! He doesn’t know the indoctrination canon events yet, we don’t see him going off on solo missions, he gets backup when he needs it and that seems to be it.

For the kids that do know the canon events theory(Margo, Peni, Gwen) I cannot even imagine what must be going through their heads. Who else from their worlds has to die. For Peni, is her last living relative, Uncle Ben, the next person for her to lose? If Gwen returns to her world how long will it take for her dad to die? What other traumatic events have Miguel’s theory dictated will happen to them next? What horrors do they know will happen to them and their loved ones that they aren’t allowed to prevent? Is Gwen destined to die young because she’s the only Gwen we see Alive? And Gwen and Hobie, Pav’s friends, do they know that Gayatri and her dad are both destined to die? Like the mental gymnastics these kids have to go through and the mental torment that goes with it.

And then on top of it, to threaten said teenagers, who you have working for you, with being kicked out and being isolated from the people that are like and understand them is really fucked up. Especially if the threatening is because they are acting like teenagers and not soldiers. If Gwen is sent home, not only is her life put in danger but so is her father’s and they all know it. That is some culty level gaslighting and even grooming. Margo and Peni both are implied to not have good home lives either. The more you think about it the worse it gets honestly, because what goes along with this is we never see any of the adult spiders say anything about this.

Miguel and Jess both saw Gwen’s father, a grown man, try to arrest his daughter with a gun pointed at her. They save her, Jess takes her under wing(and whether they meant to or not) effectively become her guardians. They monitor her with what could essentially be a baby monitor/tracking device. They can control where she can and cannot go. And while understandable to not give a teen access to the entire multiverse they were very much giving her the adult responsibilities of protecting it.

When she does screw up, because she is a child who wants to see her friend, Jessica very flippantly references Miguel sending her home, making me think this is not the first time they’ve had that conversation, which is so worrying. And then they eventually do. They knew exactly what situation they were sending her into and not only did the entire society watch Miguel do it with little protest but didn’t even mention it afterwards. Even if Gwen was a threat they had other options, rather than sending her home, where she could still be safe.

There’s also a lot to say about how Jessica, Peter B., and Miguel handled Miles that speaks more to this pattern of behavior but that’s another post.

In the comics the ‘Spider Society’ got away with this sort of stuff, even having an actual infant just chilling with the group, because the spiders were being hunted. They couldn’t go home or leave the safe space dimension because it wasn’t safe. In the movie that is very much not the case. WHY WERE TEENAGERS WORKING FOR THE SOCIETY!?