#literally my worst art year. and I hate it here

[katimanki]

Art of 2022!

I really didn't want to make this this year because I knew this would be so empty. But then I thought maybe this will help me have it all filled again next year :')

Art of 2020

Art of 2021

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

In case it's hard to read/understand: "If I had a nickel for every time I had a story with a blonde girl named after a plant, who has a German father and a French mother but absolutely hates said mom, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."

weird, extremely-specific tropes in my stories: pt 1

[scooter-sketch]

Reposting this for shits and giggles bc I don't expect asks about this lol. But I'll answer some in the tags

Weird Questions for Writers (because writers are weird)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know?

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

[sansaorgana]

I’m not quite sure if your requests are open or not so if they aren’t just ignore this!♥️ but if they are, hi!!! I was wondering if you could do an Austin Butler/Buck Cleven x Reader who plays hard to get with him. She is like head nurse or something, a badass who was trained by her daddy in the arts of war, like I’m talking knowing how to throw hand grenades, shooting rifles or knowing how to work a plane despite her role in modern day 1940s society. I don’t like reading abt Y/N being naive yk?

hello! 💕 this story takes place when the boys are still in the USA and training. I believe I've read somewhere they actually spent two years in Texas so... the Reader is a girl from Texas and a daughter of one of the badass Colonels at the base who is training Buck and others. she is also a head nurse at that base (I assume they also had sickbays even though those were training bases...? I literally know nothing about the military lmao). I hope she will be strong enough for you 😌 I personally don't find every sweet and more period-accurate female character to be weak or naive but it was still nice to write a different type of character for once 😅

I might post less frequently in the upcoming days because I am catching up with my uni work finally after a few weeks of abandoning it to write fics lol

my inbox is open for blurb/short fic requests for major cleven 🤗

Bucky laughed at the sight of his friend going inside the sickbay after a training flight. He was going there for the fifth time this week and it was all because his friend had a crush on the head nurse, young (Y/N) (Y/L/N).

Miss (Y/L/N) was a daughter of Colonel (Y/L/N) – the Colonel (Y/L/N) – the scariest and the roughest man around. He had a scar right across his face and he was known for being so strong he could rip the tree out of the ground with his bare hands… or so the legend said.

His daughter was just like her father. She was feminine of course in her nurse’s apron and her hair done up neatly so it wouldn’t interrupt her work. Her hands were soft and her lips covered with red lipstick. But she was a tough girl who didn’t mind swearing a little and scolding all the boys at the base for their irresponsible behaviour. She probably didn’t know that they all acted this way just so they could get to the sickbay and be treated by her.

At least that was the case for Buck.

She sighed at the sight of him and rolled her eyes as she approached him when he entered the room.

“Major Cleven… Again?” She raised her eyebrows at him and he blushed. “What is it this time?”

“I am… I am dizzy,” he made up a pathetic lie and she huffed at that as she pointed at the chair for him to sit down on.

“I will give you something for that but if you keep having troubles of this sort, I’m gonna tell my daddy to not send you to Europe, you know?” She teased and he swallowed thickly at that comment.

“Please, don’t, Miss (Y/L/N),” he pleaded, his eyes carefully following her every movement as she looked at him with a smirk.

“Well, we don’t want weak pilots like you to defend our country, do we?” She teased.

“It’s not because of flying… It’s… I don’t know, it’s something else,” Buck hated himself for the way he acted around her. She was so intimidating but so tempting at the same time. The fragile part of his masculinity was simply scared of her but his other, brave side wanted to be around her all the time. And he was very well aware how many other men wanted her, too. But his feelings were real. It had very little to do with desire. He was serious about her.

She approached him and handed him a pill and a glass of water. He swallowed it and she squinted her eyes at him.

“I swear to God, you boys are the worst bunch I’ve ever dealt with,” she shook her head. “I hope in Europe I will handle real men,” she rolled her eyes.

“You’re going to Europe, too?” Buck asked as he widened his eyes.

“Of course, Major. It brings me no pleasure to be here and help buffoons like you,” she chuckled. “I signed up already and my daddy wants me to be assigned to the 100th.”

“That’s where I will go, too,” Buck’s eyes sparkled as he realised that she wouldn’t get rid of him so easily.

“Oh God…” (Y/N) sighed. “I hope you’ll be long gone by the time I get there.”

“I hope not,” he blurted out and she froze for a second before laughing.

“Oh, you’re cute, Major,” she admitted before walking away to deal with the next man entering the sickbay, coming up with some fake injury just to feel her hands examining him and hear her mocking tone scolding him for his irresponsibility.

You liked Bucky Egan because he was funny and he didn’t care about you. He could have any woman he wanted so he wasn’t showing off when you were around – or playing a victim like so many “injured” Majors, Captains and Lieutenants. You were growing sick of all of them, coming to you with every single papercut and making puppy eyes at you.

You were having a beer with Bucky behind one of the buildings in the evening. Consuming alcohol was forbidden but who would fire you? You were a daughter of the roughest Colonel in that base. And Bucky was under your protection – and one of the best pilots around.

“Alright, but if you had to go out with any of them, who would that be?” Bucky asked, teasingly.

“For fuck’s sake, John,” you rolled your eyes and leaned your head back to rest it on the wall. “It would be you.”

“But I don’t want you,” he laughed.

“You…,” you hissed at him and you both giggled. “That’s why I would go out with you.”

“Oh, you like the ones who don’t want you?”

“No, I like real men,” you told him. “Like my daddy is.”

“You know that my best friend is madly in love with you, right?” Bucky pushed your arm playfully.

“Curt Biddick?” You asked. God, that one was insufferable.

“Yeah, him too. But I mean the other one.”

“Buck Cleven?” You asked as you felt your cheeks heating up for some mysterious reason.

“Yeah, that one,” Bucky nodded. “He’s a good guy and a hell of a pilot. He’s tough, too, just in a different way.”

“Yeah, he’s cute, bless his heart,” you admitted.

“So, you’d go out with him?” Bucky raised his eyebrow at you.

“Stop playing matchmaker, it’s not gonna happen. I ain’t dating any man from this base,” you took a sip of your beer as you shook your head.

“Why not, though? You don’t want to marry a man like your daddy? I thought you wanted to,” Bucky asked.

“Y’all would be scared of a gal like me, let me tell you,” you giggled. “I can shoot a rifle and throw a grenade. My daddy wanted a son, you see. But my momma gave him only girls so he raised us like boys,” you told him. “All that discipline, I ain’t joking, Bucky,” you pushed him because he was laughing. “We had to get up at 5am, make our bed, do morning gymnastics,” you teased.

“Really?” His face became more serious.

“Nah,” you shook your head. “Only sometimes. But he took the whole business of teaching us self-defence very seriously. I remember asking him, where the hell would I even get a grenade from in case some boy was following me home, daddy? And he said: easy, sugar, they’re in my drawer next to the gun,” you laughed and so did Bucky.

“You know what I think?” Bucky put his bottle of beer down and shot you an odd glance you did not like at all.

“What, Egan?”

“You’re gonna get angry when I tell you.”

“Just tell me,” you rolled your eyes.

“I think you need a man who’s gonna see a woman in you. Like yeah, we all know you’re tough and shit. And all these boys want to be around you because you’re like a mother that they have left back home in the way you scold them and take care of them. But I think you just need someone to see a woman in you. Has anyone ever…?”

“You asshole,” you indeed got angry. You didn’t want him to be right and react in such a predictable way but you did.

You stood up and went back to the building to go to sleep, leaving Bucky Egan without a word.

You didn’t know what Bucky had said to Buck but Major Cleven hadn’t visited the sickbay in a week now and you hated to admit but you missed it. In fact, you were the most excited when it was him coming inside with some adorable injury or illness. There was something about him that was making you swoon even though you would never ever admit that. 

On that weekend most boys had a night out and you stayed inside the sickbay to deal with the paperwork. One of the head nurse’s duties sadly required filling some papers, too.

After a while, you heard a light knocking upon the front door and you sighed before standing up and opening them, shocked to see Major Cleven.

“Major?” You asked. “What is it again? The mysterious dizziness has had its comeback?”

“N-no,” he shook his head.

“Why aren’t you out with all the boys?”

“I didn’t want to go,” he admitted and you squinted your eyes at him.

“So you decided to catch me in an empty room instead? I have a gun here and I know how to use it,” you threatened although it was hard to believe that a man like Major Cleven would ever hurt any woman.

“I wanted to ask you if you’d go out on a walk with me, Miss (Y/L/N),” he widened his eyes at your threats. “It’s a warm and nice night.”

“Ugh, fine,” you shrugged your arms and grabbed a cardigan to put over your nurse’s outfit. He waited for you outside nervously with his hands in his pockets.

“I don’t want to be a bother, we don’t have to…” Buck told you as you were locking the door behind you.

“You’re lucky, Major, I needed a distraction from the papers,” you told him and joined him.

“Yeah, the paperwork. I don’t like it either,” he looked down and you two began to walk slowly towards the gates leading out of the base.

“And who does?” You chuckled and looked at him as you bit on your lip. He was adorable; something about him was making you feel protective. But on the other hand you knew from your father he was one of the best pilots and he was a man of honour. Your father was usually rolling his eyes at the mention of most men at the base. But never about Major Cleven. Your father rarely respected the young and new ones but something about that Major was making your daddy go easy on him.

“I wanted to apologise, actually,” Buck told you when you two finally left the base and began to walk alongside its fence.

“Hm? About what?” You asked.

“Bothering you five times a week with made up dizziness or papercuts,” he laughed nervously.

“And what made you apologise? You’re not the only one who’s been doing that, Major, but you’re surely the first actually saying he’s sorry,” you raised an eyebrow.

“Bucky told me it’s annoying you and that it’s not really a way to get to you,” he admitted as he looked up at your face.

“Why the hell would you want to get to me? You’re a sweet man,” you snorted at him. In the dim light of the moon and the base’s lights from afar you could see him blushing.

“What does it have to do with it, Miss (Y/L/N)?” Buck asked.

“I’m not sweet, Major Cleven. A guy like you… You should be out there in town with them boys and look for a sweet little naive doll for yourself,” you teased him. But deep down it hurt you that it was true – you were raised for a tough girl but sometimes… Sometimes you wished you were softer.

“You think so low of me, Miss?” He only shook his head with a nervous chuckle. “That type of woman you’ve mentioned… They’re nice and kind, I don’t mind them, they’re sweet, yeah. And they make good wives to lots of men but you… You’re the first one who actually impressed me,” he confessed.

You went silent for a moment. You liked that he wasn’t complimenting you while saying mean things about others.

“You’re a real gentleman, Cleven,” you pointed out. “And so smooth. You’d be a sensation if you stayed here in Texas.”

“Would I?” He stopped his walk and so did you as he turned around to face you better.

“Yeah. But if you stayed here, you’d soon realise there are more gals like me ‘round here. And I’d lose all the charm,” you teased.

“Then maybe I’d finally leave you alone, which I assume is your wish.”

“Oh, far from that,” you risked as you raised your eyebrows, waiting for his next move.

He hesitated for a while and then he smiled smugly and joined his lips with yours in a sweet but passionate kiss that took your breath away.

Bucky had been right – it was nice to be treated like a woman.

“Will your daddy shoot me for that?” Major Cleven asked with a chuckle after finally breaking the kiss.

“It’s not him you should be worried about. I can shoot, too, Major, and my daddy wouldn’t get rid of the best pilot,” you teased.

“But you would?” He grabbed your chin gently.

“The best pilot? Surely. But would I get rid of Major Cleven? Never,” you chuckled. “God, I’ve missed your made up migraines,” you confessed.

“I can fake more of them,” he smirked.

“Yes, please,” you chuckled and leaned in to kiss him again. “But let’s keep it a secret for now.”

“Why?”

“Because if my daddy finds out about us, he’ll make sure we won’t be sent to the same base in Europe and we don’t want that, do we…?” You looked up at him, your heart pounding so fast in your chest as it had never done before for any man.

“Oh, no, no, we don’t want that at all,” Major Cleven bopped you on the nose. “Who will deal with my headaches there otherwise?”

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 12/24/2024

pair of portentous tuesdayposts: this one is christmas eve and the next one is new year's eve

trying something new with the reading section, where i list off a bunch of books i bounced off and briefly explain why. let me know if this is interesting, or if it's more interesting when i finish a book i sort of enjoyed and really dissect what didn't work for me like with that annoying evil wizard book a couple weeks ago.

listening

the true champ of the past few weeks has been friends at the table's (an actual play podcast about critical worldbuilding, smart characterization, and fun interaction between good friends) horror/weird west season Sangfielle, and i know i have listened to about sixty hours of it bc i have played about sixty hours of stardew valley. i am currently on ep 49, one before the last finale episode, and it feels like it is wrapping up in a very rushed and weird way? maybe i will feel differently after listening to the six coda episodes wrapping up everyones' characters?

the song of the week is fleet foxes’ white winter hymnal, which is morbidly festive without being strictly christmas-y and is not salting the open emotional wound within my chest that is The Holiday Season. album released 2008. christ im old

-

reading

the concept of this gag award is EXTREMELY funny to me. i wish the EFF sent them a little physical trophy. perhaps a challenge coin.

bounced off a lot of stuff. the six larger books and the far top right are all from my absolute favorite thrift store with the worst vibes, who regularly has a 8/$1 media sale bc they actually want to be more of a kitchen goods and home decor thrift store and don't really want to constantly be overflowing with records no one buys. yet here they are.

i really do need to find a good indie used bookstore around here that will take books and give me back slightly more in store credit than in cash. bc i would like to fill some missing chunks of trilogies/fill out the star wars shelves a little more. but every time i have gone to half price books i have had an unpleasant time.

lumberjanes/bravest warrior/adventure time were not making me feel nostalgic and in fact made me quite sad instead (more in a memento mori way than in subject matter) so they're going to a friend's kid

glad i looked up Heartthrob (despite the really good premise of woman haunted by her heart donor) on my library's comic app bc the third one seems to mostly take place in a mental hospital which is really never a vibe i want

GRIFTER has art i don't love and a bland storyline about an ex-marine who is the saddest boy in the world and can also detect literal space aliens living among us. no thank you

tangle's game has a close-call near-sexual assault in the first chapter. no thank you! cool dystopic social credit score premise but no thanks!

gil's all fright diner is about the king of vampires and the duke of werewolves but they're hicks. the narrator hates that they're dumb hicks. did not jive with the authorial voice on this one

i bought Two Tickets to Tangiers in high school bc it looked cool and have only cracked it open now, almost fifteen years later. fifteen year old kay did not yet have the context clues from the cover that it would be a very racist travelogue

i need to stop trying agatha christie. i am never going to like agatha christie

-

watching

somehow i have seen the first tinker bell fairies movie three times this week bc that's all my bestie's toddlers want to watch. a really stupidly stacked cast??? how did all these people have free time in 2008???

-

playing

finished the community center in summer 2 of stardew valley (wildly popular and very intense farming sim) and would have finished it in winter 1 if not for the FUCKING pufferfish. i hate fishing minigames and i especially hate the fishing minigame in stardew so i am excited to leave it the fuck alone for a while.

my cauliflower got stupid mchugelarge?? i do not know why they did that. also a meteor fell on my farm and gave me a bunch of really valuable ore, just like real life meteors.

i do kind of regret picking the beach farm bc so much of my day is spent watering, but i am trying to lean harder into animal products and being more of a fun silly flower farm instead of the intense agriculture i find myself doing. i have the greenhouse, i have a small patch of sprinklerable land, i will simply make sure to buy some of every seed each season and if i really need something i will toss it in the greenhouse.

-

making

people are being very gracious about their mediocre colored pencil portraits. most of my gift budget this year was two flat rate boxes to my siblings. silly little pet portraits are very cost effective if you already have art supplies, nice paper, gumption, and very cheap small frames.

[asklilmissrarity]

The Future of Lil Miss Rarity

Hello everyone, this is Jay Tonique (formerly known as Lil Miss Jay), the writer, artist, everything other than the music in the Lil Miss Rarity animation for the blog "Lil Miss Rarity."

As some of you know, Lil Miss Rarity was an ongoing outlet for my physical, verbal and emotional abuse I was suffering prior to and leading up to Lil Miss Rarity's release, October 11th 2011.

The blog took off so heavily that my entire artistic career became a viable future for me, allowing me to profit from my art, build a huge loving fanbase, and even allowing me to become something of a celebrity in the Brony community (even very much hated by a large portion of the community).

It's needless for me to say that Lil Miss Rarity not only changed but saved my life. I was on the verge of taking my own life around the time the blog was started, due to the abuse I was going through, and if it weren't for the success of the blog that fateful October week, I would certainly not be here, typing this right now. I owe my life to you all, and the support you've given me for this blog.

However, it's time for the news I know very few people want to hear. In fact, I'm sure just reading this line right here has people's hearts sinking, but please, don't be anxious, please read the full post.

I would like to say: Please read the full post, I am going to be very clear about the future.

Moving forward, Lil Miss Rarity will no longer be updated, and the blog is officially entirely over, as of this post.

I am still looking for a musician to commission a new song for the remake of the Lil Miss Rarity animation on YouTube, which will be my final major update involving the blog, and then I will be putting the blog entirely to rest. The animation will serve as a fond emotional farewell to Lil Miss Rarity.

However, that's not the end of the twisted grimdark storytelling. I have decided to make a spiritual successor, a new IP, entirely my own and not using My Little Pony as a crutch.

I won't get too into it, but I left the Brony fandom long ago. It was both the greatest thing to ever happen in my life, and the absolute worst thing to ever happen in my life. I met great friends, but also met unbelievably horrible sick people, many of which I literally got FBI involvement to deal with and many of which are literally in prison now.

Due to this, and many many more reasons I'm leaving out, I cannot and will not continue to be a part of the fandom. This is just a few reasons, as well, that continuing to have Lil Miss Rarity exist as a My Little Pony blog just doesn't make any sense to me.

So what am I doing moving forward?

A brand new IP called "Melodi." It's about a magic school student who is part of a wealthy family who goes on a magical twisted adventure in a horrifying grimdark world.

It will have characters either very slightly or very heavily inspired by the characters of Lil Miss Rarity, with Melodi of course being inspired by Rarity.

It will also be an ongoing web comic, similar to LMR, and will encourage fan feedback just as much as LMR did, but will not be an Ask Blog like LMR.

I plan to release character concepts for the cast of Melodi soon.

Now, there's probably a lot of questions moving forward, so I'll try to answer them now, as well as in asks on this blog, though I'd prefer you send the asks about Melodi to my main blog at http://www.jayisbutts.com/ask

Here's some questions I think will be asked, and I'll answer them here:

"Will this blog be on Tumblr?" - Yes, and on Patreon. Each update will be on Patreon first. When an update comes out on Patreon, the previous update will go public at the same time on Tumblr.

"Don't you think the LMR fanbase you've garnered for 12 years are gonna be upset about this?" - I'm 100% certain they will be, yes. However, I hope that most people who hear this news are excited to see Melodi in the future. I'm very proud of what I've created with LMR, and happy about how many lives I've changed and how many people have told me how much they love LMR. People with the heart-brand tattoo, people with LMR tattoos, people who cosplay as LMR, LMR fanart still being made regularly to this date, real-life Opal dolls, fan-dubs of the comic, fan animations, Anime Music Videos, etc etc etc. I love each and every one of you and I hope that I can one day garner the same amount of love for Melodi as I received for LMR. Thank you all so much for your support.

"What if someone else wants to carry on the LMR blog or use the characters to make their own?" - Please, do. LMR is officially Public Domain as of this post, and I strongly encourage LMR fan-fiction, fan-blogs, etc. I would love if someone could do LMR better than I did. I will very happily use this blog going forward to showcase new LMR blogs and fan-content that I like, and I will very gladly be a guest artist from time to time on an update or two to those blogs. You all have my blessing to take LMR and do with her whatever you want.

"Are you still remaking the LMR animation?" - Yes, I'm still actively seeking a musician to make an official LMR theme that will play in the background of it. It will be a glorious farewell to LMR.

"Is the heart-brand still a thing in Melodi?" - Absolutely, yes. The one incredibly major staple being carried over to Melodi is the heart brand. That symbol has become synonymous with LMR.

"What about the eye scars?" - Probably not. There will be facial scarring of some kind, yes, but considering the new story will not involve killing a cat (not yet anyway), she probably won't have the eye scars.

"Black eye with white pupil?" - We'll see! (It is a sign of Malice's corruption to have a black left eye, so almost certainly yes, but we'll see!)

"Ponies? Humans? Furries?" - I haven't fully decided. In my head, Melodi is a human, but I could also see her being a cat. I'm not sure what I wanna do just yet. However, she will not be a pony. She's gonna be far more human shaped. With boobies.

"Is this one gonna have porn?" - Nope! Not directly as part of the blog, no. Sexual encounters are going to happen in a very fade-to-black way, or a cropped-off-screen sort of way, yes. And there will be sexy characters, like monster girls or demon girls, and I'm sure people will find Melodi herself sexy, too. However, the blog is not going to contain actual porn. No full nudity. It will have what some would refer to as "fetish content," as with LMR, but it's not porn.

"Final question, so... LMR is just... dead? As of now?" - In terms of receiving updates from me, all that will be made is the LMR animation. But no, I certainly hope LMR is not dead. I would love to see the blog live on through other artists I've inspired. You all have my blessing to keep her alive forever.

Thank you all so much for your support.

More news involving Melodi and her twisted adventures coming soon.

I love you all, and I want you all to know how much your support of Lil Miss Rarity has changed my life.

I know it's cringe to type this, but, "I'm literally crying right now."

Mommy will always be pretty.

~Jay Tonique (Formerly Lil Miss Jay)

[oh-my-bindery]

Drarry: I love that Harry the hero is down for murder. But Draco the guy who comes from a long line of a family of dark magic is the one that hates murder (it's literally canon Draco can not kill anyone for shit) and it gives me so many feels. It's partly because I love healer Draco. But also because Harry is reckless and does not have a lot of self preservation. His idea of justice is like you die by the sword.

Definitely! I draw all my conclusions from canon.

Buckle up bc I went on a rant here

The way Draco is written and what we are shown of his actions and character, we can clearly conclude at least few things:

- Draco is a person who fights with his words, that cut deeper than a knife. He knows what he is doing and wants it to hurt. I believe he does it to feel better about himself.

- Draco can’t kill. He literally can’t kill. Even his wand (that chose him) is one that has the most difficult time turining into Dark Arts. It reflects on his character. He is different from his family.

- Draco is a very sensitive boy as we are told by Moaning Myrtle in HBP. We also get to see him break down and for the first time show his real emotions which is a new thing from him. Harry has never seen him cry. Which leads me to ask, why? All 6 years and no one saw Draco cry before? No one saw him express deeper emotions that his usual proud and snarky / bully mask? It is definitely connected to his family, most likely Lucius, as Narcissa is the one who even though believes in blood purity shit, never takes a Dark Mark, never fights for Voldemort, her main concern is always Draco. She has so much love for him. It is probably why Draco even knows that he can allow himself to cry, even if it’s on his own.

- Moaning Myrtle also tells us that Draco is lonely.

- On Harry Potter wiki and Pottermore (I think) it says that Draco was never able to produce a Patronus spell as he didn’t have a strong enough of a happy memory - well that’s sad seeing as Harry was able to do it with how shit his life was.

Draco is supposed to seemingly be rich, get everything he wants, he has a family that is alive , Mother who loves him SO MUCH, father that would she if anything happened to him (well he failed to protect Draco from the worst and then did nothing after the fact, continued being awful but that’s another rant), Slytherins seem to like him, he has some friends although I’m not even sure he likes them or if they like him (from canon we know that by Deathly Hallows - Crabbe and Goyle hate him. Draco never really liked Blaise (or wasn’t fond of him. He tolerated Pansy and had some trust towards her.)

So even though Draco smilingly has all, he doesn’t have a strong enough of a happy memory.

- Draco is terrified of killing someone, so much so he stops eating, keeps to himself and stops being himself when tasked with killing Dumbledore.

When Harry sees Draco in his Voldy visions - Draco looks terrified and broken when asked to torture Rowle - the sight of how Draco is being pushed into doing those horrible things and how much he could be suffering- canonically makes Harry try to get rid of the visions because he doesn’t want to see Draco torture people or if he refuses/ can’t- see Draco being tortured or killed.

- Draco doesn’t care if he dies. Why? Who knows? But he literally lies to his whole family that are depending on him to identify Harry as Harry Potter at the manor and he just doesn’t. He knows what are the consequences of failing to capture Harry are (probably being killed by Voldemort, him and his family.) and Draco knows it is Harry. If he was cruel and and awful person he would say “yep, that’s Potter” but instead Harry notices that Draco looks just as terrified, hands shaky as Harry was. Draco literally would rather have Harry survive and himself die than other way around. It is SO CANON.

And Harry wise

- Harry is super hot-headed as we know.

I think looking at his reaction when Sirius was killed, he literally sprung from Remus’s arms, shooting, shooting curses after Bellateix. He crucioed her. No, thinking, he just does.

When people whom Harry loves / cares about are killed or harmed Harry has no thoughts just do. Give them hell. He will deal with consequences later - he is bad at the ‘dealing with the consequences bit though. He doesn’t want to be a killer, and hates himself for being capable of it.

When Snape kills Dumbledore, Harry is in SO MUCH RAGE. He goes after Snape and literally uses Sectumsempra on him, knowing what it would do- if not helped Snape literally would die lol.

But when it comes to Draco and Harry almost killing him, knowing about Dracos Dark Mark, him being suspicious all year, being horrible to him all other years - ABSOLUTELY NOT ACCEPTABLE.

He leaves Draco alone even after he find out Draco was going to kill Dumbledore.

In conclusion, Harry would 100% kill for Draco, no questioning it. He wouldn’t feel bad about the person being killed but about the fact that he is capable to killing.

[arcanahangedman]

it fascinates me how the only hate i see for jundori is entirely projection and bad faith interpretation

chidori can be her own three-dimensional character, a homeless orphan abducted by evil corporate overlords for human experimentation, who grows up too fast and has to learn to fend for herself alongside other victims of this abuse, whose love of art and nature contrasts with her apathy to life and suicidal ideation

While. also. being a child who never got the chance for wider socialisation, bewildered by this weird guy’s interest in her art and his insistence on keeping an eye on her (bc she literally fucking c*ts herself in public and is then hospitalised) but his sheer compassion grows on her. someone called their relationship stockholm syndrome and ooooh my goooood Do u even know what that means.

junpei is a 17 year old kid. as a member of sees, he (like the rest of the group) has no idea what’s going on with the kirijo group or their operations, nor does he hold any power over their choice to hospitalise chidori. also she is there bc SHE LITERALLY SELF H*RMS LIKE ARE U DUMB

to act as if junpei is some sort of scheming villain that supports and is responsible for chidori being held hostage instead of being a scared kid, apart of an organisation he is kept entirely in the dark about, concerned about the safety of this other person his age who goes around assassinating ppl and c*tting herself…genuinely u could not think of a more disingenous interpretation of his character if u tried

i saw someone say that chidori is portrayed by fandom as junpei’s “no-panties mommy housewife” (almost that exact wording) and it’s like. What Are You Talking About No She Isn’t. She Is 16 Why The Fuck Would You Even Suggest That Or Word It That Way You Freak

it’s extremely bizarre to write off a ship bc u choose to engage with the cishet male incel side of the persona fanbase and view it through their perspective. like what does that have to do with their actual depiction in the game or ur average tumblr jundori enjoyer.

if u have issues with the power imbalance between the two of them, sure, it’s understandable. junpei is not the one being held against his will and chidori repeatedly protests staying in the hospital (i must stress that i, for one, do not think it wise to leave a minor who consistently self-h*rms without supervision :p) but the presence of a power imbalance does not automatically equal an abusive misuse of that imbalance

last note: ppl like to bring up junpei’s weirdo behaviour towards the other female cast members. i’m not going to treat this as insignificant but it’s also not particularly relevant unless ur arguing that junpei is seeking to control, perv on, or abuse chidori. Which he isn’t lol like he literally just wants to talk to her, stop her from c*tting herself, and show her that she can have a life outside of living on the streets and assassinating ppl with her merry band of men. the worst u could call him is naive (again. he’s 17.) but yeah he’s soooo controlling and abusive, guys !!

i’m not over here saying everyone has to like or support jundori, or either character. everyone has their preferences and idgaf about urs. but it would be sooooo great if we didn’t act as if one of these two children, both mistreated and left in the dark by evil corporate overlords, is actually a subservient overlord pawn who manipulates chidori so he can ?? keep her company when she’s alone and ask her about her feelings ????

anyway this isn’t supposed to be some epic final anti-jundori takedown so if u wanna discuss further, dm me. i don’t want no smoke just bc i think u ppl are genuinely weird 🩷

conclusion: i’m thinking about how that one persona ships poll had a 90% positive response to jundori so like Boom jundori sweep

[nwarrior777]

The "Fat fetish" Panic is starting really annoying me, and today i am furious enough to talk about it

It's really long post

Here is the conclusion. But i very recommend to read the whole one especcially if you disagree with the conclusion

It is okay to be angry that there is no much alternative image of fatness, that we don't see a lot of fat characters in not kinky or in not offensive images. But the problem here is not in "too much fat kink images" but in "not enough good fat representation".

You will not create more good representation by being angry on people who have fat fetish, draw fat art or love fat art. Fat fetish panic is not making media more representative. It's just producing hatefull atmosphere

Fat kink is just one of kinks. And kinks is normal part of sexual/romantic activity. And choosing from all the kinks the one only because of fatness element to be cringe - it's just fatphobia, which people learn from society rules but a lot of not even try to question it

and first question you need to ask here is - where is word "skinny fetish" if it is so much about "fat fetish"?

fat fetish. mhm. where is skinny fetish when? have you even heard a phrase "skinny fetish before this post, m?

maybe such thing doesn't exist because being skinny is sexy by default is society rule! somehow going all 🥵🥴🤤 in comments of some skinny model and being horny for 6 packs torso of some guy is totally fine, and not considered as kink! but same with fat - oh! ew! fatfetishist!

but fat is unhealthyyyy - dystrophy is medical diagnosis! anorexia is medical diagnosis! didn't people hear about it? and don't tell me that it's something out of social norm too - i had anorexia! beat it completely! it's possible! but then i had it i *loved* then people told me i am too skinny and it was compliment to me. also my weight now go up and down because today i can afford delivery, tomorrow i don't have money for rent - and guess what i get in my worst times then i literally starving, on stress, or getting sick to the point of loosing weight? COMPLIMENTS. "oh wow you loosed weight!" - dude i didn't have money for food to the point of going to charity food box donations, TWICE in a year, and didn't go for more only because the place doesn't do this now! am i suppose to see aftermaths of it as smth positive???

also, don't see hate comments on every photo of guys who drink alco and energy drinks, smoke sigaretes and vapes and etc!

you, if you smoke, and i ask cause seems like everyone around smoke or vape now

have you been recieving hate letters? annoying endless advices in comments to go on anti addictive therapy? annoying endless advices to go to hospital on check your lungs? m?

mmmm oh that tons of hate on that image from that cyberpunk film with smoking woman, or under any image of smoking in tender scenes, yeah, so many hate on this unhealthy everyday human habit which people do much more than meals times- except of course there is no any hate about it anywhere whyyy becaaause smoking considered sexy as society rule! kinda start to see pattern here!

in a lot of country you can even smoke on streets there is no law to stop it! remind me, i just don't read this type of bullshit posts much, but, they do write smth about "unhealthy fatness propaganda" like you can transmitt fatness to someone. bitches literally smoking right to my face on street, at home, literally making me unhealthy, and everyone is fine about it, and even i , non smoker, expected to be fine about it, people get * surprised * that i don't like smoke of sigaretes and vapes. the fuck "dangerous fat propaganda making people fat" these fatphobs are talking about?

so yeah, narrative about care for health in discurse about fat fetish [fatness in general, but we are about fetish today] is of course total bullshit. and people should stop pretend that it has any logic under

so first point is - skinny isn't fetish, unhealthy things considering as sexy, but the sudden hell fat is fetish.

but!

even if it is sometimes kinky! why the sudden hell from all the fetishes this one is bad?

some fetishes include fat praise, or something connected, like * gasp * stuffing ( oh no, having big tasty dinner with your lover, what a horrifiing concept! ). so what? people find it more weird or more dangerous than some other kinks? hmmmmm. intresting, let's see that kinks we have on list

[for the record - kinks are fine. *all* . and, if you not familiar with concept of kink sex play - consent of everyone involved is part of process, its so obvious i will not even stopping to elaborate on it]

sooo! what do we have

bdsm things. the core is kind of agression-domination part involved. mmm! sounds dangerous! oh, sorry, dangerous looking guys with slapping thing (idk how it is called, not into it) getting all theirs 🥵🥴🤤!

ah and art! especially with fantasy scenarios. all those vampire characters biting neck of people, blood all around!!! aaa, danger! no? somehow it's even more 🥵🥴🤤? hmmm strange! why! it's bite, it's blood! still 🥵🥴🤤 oh what if i add

a fat to this! fantasy scenario, vampire took too much blood and now fat. and its still kinky art! oh, now it's ew and kinda cringe. well, not so cringe if fatness is not the focus of sexyness, mhm. if skinny hands of vampire in focus, all in blood, and the blood is focus, and the fangs and all this, yk, not so safely shit in focus its fine and 🥵🥴🤤. back to our gained weigh vampire - if clothes is tight, and focus is on his body, it's cringe? mhmmmm

soooo whatever dangerous dominating shit is happening it's fine [btw biting, to the bloodmarks, is not so much fantasy kink] but if the focus of kink art is character getting fat, it's cringe. why it's cringe when character on kinky art got fat? it's dangerous kink - nope, with skinny bloody vampire everything is fine and its 🥵🥴🤤. getting fat is unhealthy - 1) nope, look above 2) getting sucked blood almost to death (or to death! yes i watched compilation with that astarion scene where he could kill you by his bite! any hate? guess!l doesn't sound like smth very healthy. like smoking which is also 🥵🥴🤤 in tender scenes!

oh we are connecting dots here are we

so why is vampire sucking blood in very detailed art with blood all around and bite and fangs is sexy but this + fat is cringe?

yes, because in society rules fat is cringe element! math!

btw about cringe. what over fetishes are "cringe"? mmm. foot fetish? that director bitch in Hollywood made carrier out of that. furry? well someone find them weird, but if we will include them to discussion we will need to explain much more and open whole new world to the guys, so sorry dude who is still confused if trans man is someone who wants more masculine body or vice versa, you are not invited to the conversation today. so furry - everyone fine with! [not my thing but big regards!]. that new (?) thing with pool toys - don't see hate about it! and blow job, which is well, not much logical thing to do with each other body is not even considered as kink thing at all!!! oh, eating genitails, where your piss comes from? mmm not weird at all it's such usual thing, we can even show some jokes about it on television! well, kinda in 😉😉😉 way, but! like, the f-?

and from all of it - what is weird? fat

???

playing with the fat body, weight gain scenarios. bdsm is fine, but, what lesson we learned? right bdsm + fat is weird!

i hope you saw the pattern too!

So to the conclusion

It is okay to be angry that there is no much alternative image of fatness, that we don't see a lot of fat characters in not kinky or in not offensive images. But the problem here is not in "too much fat kink images" but in "not enough good fat representation".

You will not create more good representation by being angry on people who have fat fetish, draw fat art or love fat art. Fat fetish panic is not making media more representative. It's just producing hatefull atmosphere

Fat kink is just one of kinks. And kinks is normal part of sexual/romantic activity. And choosing from all the kinks the one only because of fatness element to be cringe - is fatphobia

[neptunescore]

Unpopular opinion

But I really think that if Logan had been able to go through F2 fully and develop like everyone else (except max) did, and was put on a ran that wasn’t Williams, he’d be a much better driver. I can tell he’s improving currently, but he’d be so much better if he was allowed to grow and thrive and then put into F1, but he was taken out of F2 early, dumped into F1, and expected to perform amazingly.

Not every driver can skip F2 or be taken out early and perform great. I think the old team principal set him up for failure but not sporting him to continue his endeavors on F2. He was doing well so the team principal wanted to get to him before any other team could and that ultimately led to Logan’s horrible first season.

And I also think he was done wrong by Williams this season too. I understand that he’s by no means the best driver on the grid, but he isn’t the worst either.

A lot of people don’t want to acknowledge the growth he has made since last year. His year was ruined before it could truly began. With what happened in Australia, the team took his confidence away, and things went down from there. He was so ready and extremely confident, but his car was taken as punishment for something that his teammate did to his own car.

I get that it was a decision based on who could get points, but what really did it was the fact that Alex didn’t get any points and then Logan got his busted up chassis

And even recently, Logan barely got upgrades. He was given stuff from last year. I think he would do so much better on a different team because Williams obviously do not care for him the way they care for Alex. I get that he hasn’t really been driving the way they want him, but to be honest, neither has Alex.

I don’t know, man, this is just my opinion, but I feel like if he was allowed to finish his formula 2 season and then put into formula 1 things would be better for him. And if he weren’t in Williams, then that would be even better. They are known as the worst team on the grid to put a rookie in.

Another unpopular opinion, but I genuinely think he deserves another chance in a team like haas. I know you’re probably going to disagree with me, but haas has a better car than Williams and they would treat him fairly. He would also bring the team many sponsors as the only American, so it would be a win-win.

We don’t know how he would perform in a different team with a better car, so I’m just saying I would like to see what would happen

Honestly I agree with everything uve said here anon, like wholeheartedly.

I'm just gonna add a few more things, but overall, we both have the exact same opinions.

I feel like ppl forget that williams is literally an OVERWEIGHT car, like u literally can't expect amazing results from them, and I know some of you are gonna talk abt how alex seems to be doing rlly well, but alex has been here since 2019. Not to forget that he was part of that redbull shitshow, like this man is fully trained in the art of surviving under stressful situations, and he's also an experienced driver.

I feel like there's more hate on logan bc ppl keep seeing how well Oscar's doing, and those 2 came into F1 at the same time. But you literally can't compare them. You can't. Oscar's one of the VERY few rookies who managed to adjust to f1 that quick, and logan literally just needs TIME like all the other drivers got when they first joined too. Not to mention how SUPPORTING mclaren is of oscar, while james vowels is out there already talking abt different driver options and williams is so blatantly unmotivating of logan. God, ofc it's just gonna affect his performance even more bc this is the ONLY team hes been with, and it's his SECOND year, he needs affirmations and support.

Oscar is also in an AMAZING car, and as I've said bfr, logan is NOT. Ppl rlly need to stop comparing them.

All in all, his situation makes me so sad.

[jayladfanpage]

What would be your ideal Outlaws team + how would you go about writing/constructing it? <3

My ideal team is, maybe a little predictably, Jason Todd Eddie Bloomberg and Rose Wilson.

Gosh uhm!! First of all, little to no Gotham issues. I prefer Jason when he isn't in Gotham, or is at least not interacting with the Bats, so it's just easier to have him be somewhere else. Most likely, I'd start it off in Hollywood, because I see it starting with Freshly Revived Eddie (p sure he like, just got revived in the new Flash?) not really understanding what happened for him to die and plus he's just... alone. So he texts Jason and Rose to come visit him! But then when Jay and Rose get there (already skeptical bc hello, Jason hasn't seen Eddie since they were 15 and Rose is literally Eddie's ex) Eddie gets kidnapped by a demon/magician/brother blood/etc and Jay and Rose have to go after him and that sets up the start of the comic

I'd take a more magical route with it, personally. Obviously to connect it to Eddie's whole thing as a demon hunter but also to try and fix the All-Caste stuff that Lobdell came up with. Lots of potential there if it came from a better writer. I don't think Rose does anything with magic in canon, but I do always enjoy watching characters have to adapt to seriously fucked up shit. (Plus, she has Slade's meta powers. She'll be fine.)

This is also like, you know, THE daddy issues team. So many conversations to be had between Jason and Rose about their dads bc Bruce and Slade are eerily similar in how they cope with their respective issues. Jason and Eddie can also connect over their bio dads being kind of shit (I say kind of because there's nothing I hate more than physically abusive Willis Todd. I am not kidding when I say that's the worst Jason retcon that Lobdell has ever come up with) and how they never felt wanted or loved by their parents. All three of them can relate to how their parents' abandonment (or, in Rose's case, Slade's lack of knowledge) shaped them as people. Lotssss of parallels to be drawn here

Also, obviously, Roy Harper cameo. But get this. He's here because of ROSE. I do enjoy platonic jayroy (and romantic but I don't want it to be canon) but I think the connection Roy has with Rose is a little deeper. I think he'd want to check on her after so many years (he was her foster dad! for fucks sake!) and make sure that she's doing well, considering he knows how Jason can Get.

There would also most likely be a YJ/Tim's TT crossover because duh, Eddie and Rose were in TT03 and Jason has his whole Thing (negative) with Tim, but I'm gonna be so vulnerable here and admit that the only TT03 issues I read are the ones with Mia in them + #42 + the one where Rose lights up her cigarette with Eddie's mouth fire. So, you know, can't give much insight here. Not really a Titans fan regardless of the team itself but if this Outlaws was to ever happen I'd want the author to include them in something.

Also, I think we should get a special issue where Slade repeatedly gets his ass kicked. Rose doesn't even participate but Jason and Eddie do it in her honor. Just for funsies

OH ALSO. I'd want them to bring an artist from the 2000s back. I just don't like the current art styles nearly as much </3 unless it's Ngozi. Ngozi's art is too cute to say no and I would kill to see her draw Rose!! Or or, Jason Fabok, because his art is just everything

[theredkennedys]

my au my rules. this au is literally called Chucker Spiderverse AU in the archived discord thread so be warned oooOoOOoooOo . gay men OoooooOo

writing out the backstory that me and my friend Donut have been working on for the better part of a year, most of it was inspired by the new itsv movie that was released then. and because I don't plan on writing anything huge for this I'd like my brainstorming to have a wider audience.

All art posted is most likely @franklindonuts , aka Donut the cocreator of this shit,,,hey buddy😆 go show him some love pleeeease

you can see my art of this au here

this will 100% be somewhat incomprehensive but hey I'm just a fag having fun and I was born yesterday🧚‍♀️

**

Tucker is the spiderman in his universe with Church as his "guy in the chair". (Putting it out there that this Church is Alpha, which is significant later on.)

They both share an apartment, I don't think I ever specified why but probably for school reasons. They're both young adults, I want to say around 19-21, similar to their Blood Gulch years.

Tucker loves being spiderman. He loves helping people, being almost an idol for people- a lot of jokes were thrown around about that:

Imagine Tucker after he got his sword. He has a genuine purpose now and he's going to be good at it.

but goddd Tucker is Tucker and is stupid and reckless. being spiderman doesn't make him invincible but he loves to think otherwise. he pushes himself too far too often because he knows if he doesn't he wouldn't be able to sleep at night if someone got hurt when he was taking it "easy". Church knows this but he's still pissed off when Tucker comes back bloodied and bruised from a Villain of the Week that he shouldn't have taken on :/

(Donut art)

mental illness

It's literally just the Spiderman Effect. No one will Ever be able to understand what it's like to be spiderman but other spiders, regardless of how much you tell them or show them, they won't get it. and Church doesn't Get it. He's not stupid, he understands WiTh GrEaT PoWeR y'know but there's a mental toll that can't be communicated in a way that makes sense :/

regardless, Church hates it but he also hates how much he cares about Tucker. Cocreator said that he figured they were both close and willing to become A Thing but the time was never right, and Tucker was scared of liking a dude, etc. Normal stuff between these two. But they're insanely close, I'd like to think even moreso after Tucker's whole spiderman thing and the fact that Church also has to realize that Tucker is not invincible.

(despite them not being A Thing, Donut art of The Spiderman kiss and other gay shit)

Now this is the kicker of why I said to take note of the fact this is Alpha Church specifically.

Now I'm aware of the clowning on the whole "canon event" thing and some people's opinion on it (mostly that it's dumb and cliche), but I find it a very unique and convenient way to give a character a significant plot boost.

That being said, Tucker's "canon event" is Church's death.

I don't ever think I solidified how/why he dies, moreso that it's just a wrong-place wrong-time type of thing. Some brainstorming from Donut about it:

but i never asked him for elaboration so I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. anyway

Tucker finds Church similar to how Miles found Peter in the first Spiderverse movie. He doesn't know what to do. He's frantic and scared and horrified that his best friend is coughing up blood with raspy breaths.

(Alpha s10 parallel with tex lalalala)

Obviously. Obbbviousllyy Tucker is distraught and inconsolable. Something something he has the Worst depression of his life. He doesn't know what to do with himself, the one person who knew about everything is gone, and I'm sorry (not) lol but it's not like in rvb where Church revives 8 times before dying like a normal person.

Church was always there for Tucker and he's at a loss of what to do now because, despite the threat of it, he should've never died. It wasn't even a concern in his head ever because it seemed so unlikely.

Tucker doesn't know what to do with himself, he wouldn't have gotten this far without Church. But really, it was All Tucker. All Church did was give him little tech bits to help him function better but it was All Tucker. But he isn't able to realize that through everything and it ruins him.

I will have to make a continuation post because I love adding images and Just hit the mobile limit🧚‍♀️

thanks for reading if you got this far

[jimblejamblewritings]

Marauders Fanon vs Canon??? (I don't have a good title but hear me out)

So I'm writing a fic but I wanted to make it more in line with canon for some parts and was looking up some stuff and realized a lot of stuff we think is common knowledge is fanon mixed with canon or something wasn't stated in canon when it was. This isn't about Team Snape or Team Marauders. I went to pick up my copies of the books since I owned them and noticed these things:

Keep in mind, anything anyone says is biased. On both sides. Especially when they're talking to Harry or showing him something. They want to make themselves look the best. So there might be contradictions by characters

(Sidenote: James says "you-know-what" when telling Lily he can't be as bad as Snape because he'd never call her a mudblood like he just did. So, yes, that very much shows mudblood is meant to be a slur like the n-word. we can put that argument to rest)

Snape Invented Levicorpus:

There's a lot of maybe he did maybe he didn't on every side but in Half-Blood Prince Ch. 28 (pg.603-604) it states:

“Sectum— !” Snape flicked his wand and the curse was repelled yet again; but Harry was mere feet away now and he could see Snape’s face clearly at last [...] Mustering all his powers of concentration, Harry thought, Levi— “No, Potter!” screamed Snape. [...] You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? It was I who invented them — I, the Half-Blood Prince! And you’d turn my inventions on me, like your filthy father, would you? I don’t think so."

Snape reacts only after Harry is about to use Levicorpus. So it's confirmed on page that when Snape says spells, he means both Sectumsempra and Levicorpus. And we know from his worst memory that the only spell James uses on Severus that isn't taught in school is Levicorpus. So that could be the only witnessed spell of Severus' James would have turned on him.

Also in the Worst Memory, he definitely uses a form of sectumsempra on James:

“SECTUMSEMPRA!” bellowed Harry from the floor, waving his wand wildly. Blood spurted from Malfoy’s face and chest as though he had been slashed with an invisible sword. (Half-Blood Prince Ch. 24, p. 522)

Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood. (Order of the Phoenix Ch. 28, p. 647)

They both cause gashes although James' hex is obviously a lot less intense than Draco's hex. I don't know if this would imply Snape wasn't advanced enough yet in the spell but he seems very proficient even at the end of 5th year where this scene takes place. So maybe he used a different form of it? Either way the spells match up in the look of them, it's just the severity is different.

~~

Lily was NOT a bad friend to Severus. I've seen people say oh she didn't use her wand during Snape's Worst Memory therefore making her a bad friend and not that invested in him. She literally pulls out her wand and threatens James and Sirius if they don't let him go. Just because they listened to her threat so she didn't get to fire a hex doesn't mean she wasn't going to. She wanted to talk first and try to reason before resorting to violence. She was a good friend to Severus. Period.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily. (Order of the Phoenix Ch. 28, p. 648)

~~

Sirius claims that James always hated Dark Arts. This could definitely be a skewed perspective but so far I've treated every quote as truth of the person who said it so I'll do the same here for now. If this is true, then James never hated Snape out of nowhere and happened to be proven right that he's a Death Eater. They knew.

James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other, it was just one of those things, you can understand that, can’t you? I think James was everything Snape wanted to be — he was popular, he was good at Quidditch, good at pretty much everything. And Snape was just this little oddball who was up to his eyes in the Dark Arts and James — whatever else he may have appeared to you, Harry — always hated the Dark Arts. (Order of the Phoenix Ch. 29, p. 670)

The war started in 1970. The Marauders and Snape's first year at Hogwarts was 1971. So Death Eaters, Voldemort, and the war in general was their entire school career. Severus wasn't hanging out with pre-Death Eaters. They were always preparing to join the Death Eaters. They were called Death Eaters at the school. So whether that's his actual motivation or not, James and literally everyone else would know from first year if their fellow students were on Voldemort's side or believed in his cause or not.

You and your precious little Death Eater friends—you see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you? (Deathly Hallows Ch. 33, p. 676)

To me that makes the use of mudblood constantly even worse. From the beginning students knew the implication of that and would call and honestly torment their fellow muggleborn students that slur anyway. Everyone at school was well aware of the war and their actions, even the first years.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said in a constricted voice. “Why not?” “Tuney h–hates me. Because we saw that letter from Dumbledore.” “So what?” She threw him a look of deep dislike. “So she’s my sister!” “She’s only a— ” He caught himself quickly; Lily, too busy trying to wipe her eyes without being noticed, did not hear him. “But we’re going!” he said, unable to suppress the exhilaration in his voice. “This is it! We’re off to Hogwarts!” She nodded, mopping her eyes, but in spite of herself, she half smiled. (Deathly Hallows Ch. 33, p. 670 - 671)

~~

James and Severus were at each other's throats. It wasn't one-sided bullying on either side. They both attacked each other. Literally starting on the train they both made petty enemies out of each other and it escalated each year. Now we never get to see on page who started the physical but whoever did the other side returned it just as much as they dished it.

“You’d better be in Slytherin." “Slytherin?” One of the boys sharing the compartment, who had shown no interest at all in Lily or Snape until that point, looked around at the word, and Harry [...] saw his father. [...] “Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?” James asked [Sirius]. “My whole family have been in Slytherin,” he said. “Blimey,” said James, “and I thought you seemed all right!” Sirius grinned. “Maybe I’ll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you’ve got the choice?” "Gryffindor." Snape made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him. “Got a problem with that?” “No,” said Snape, though his slight sneer said otherwise. “If you’d rather be brawny than brainy— ” “Where’re you hoping to go, seeing as you’re neither?” interjected Sirius. James roared with laughter. Lily sat up, rather flushed, and looked from James to Sirius in dislike. “Come on, Severus, let’s find another compartment.” “Oooooo . . . ” James and Sirius imitated her lofty voice; James tried to trip Snape as he passed. “See ya, Snivellus!” (Deathly Hallows Ch. 33, p. 671-672)

“She started going out with him in seventh year,” said Lupin. “Once James had deflated his head a bit,” said Sirius. “And stopped hexing people just for the fun of it,” said Lupin. “Even Snape?” said Harry. “Well,” said Lupin slowly, “Snape was a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James, so you couldn’t really expect James to take that lying down, could you?” (Order of the Phoenix Ch. 29, p. 670)

I'm also sure of this because of what Severus does to Petunia who has no magic. More than likely this was a back and forth but not one-sided bullying from the marauders or from Snape.

Then a small rustling noise behind Harry made him turn: Petunia, hiding behind a tree, had lost her footing. “Tuney!” said Lily, surprise and welcome in her voice, but Snape had jumped to his feet. “Who’s spying now?” he shouted. “What d’you want?” Petunia was breathless, alarmed at being caught. Harry could see her struggling for something hurtful to say. “What is that you’re wearing, anyway?” she said, pointing at Snape’s chest. “Your mum’s blouse?” There was a crack. A branch over Petunia’s head had fallen. Lily screamed. The branch caught Petunia on the shoulder, and she staggered backward and burst into tears. (Deathly Hallows Ch. 33, p. 668)

Like this is an overkill response and could have genuinely hurt Petunia just for her being a little shithead. So the notion that Severus dished it and took it probably isn't a lie from the characters but true. And I don't feel bad for adult Petunia. She was a horrible woman and abused Harry and should have been held accountable more for that.

But we have to be honest that child Petunia deserved better. She thought at strange neighbor was spying on her and her sister and then after he becomes friends with her baby sister, he either harms Petunia or convinces Lily to invade Petunia's privacy. And then she finds out she can't go be with her sister who is disappearing for months out of the year at what sounds like the best school ever. I mean baby Petunia didn't deserve this shit.

“You didn’t think it was such a freak’s school when you wrote to the headmaster and begged him to take you.” Petunia turned scarlet. “Beg? I didn’t beg!” “I saw his reply. It was very kind.” “You shouldn’t have read— ” whispered Petunia, “that was my private—how could you—?” Lily gave herself away by half-glancing toward where Snape stood nearby. Petunia gasped. “That boy found it! You and that boy have been sneaking in my room!” “No—not sneaking— ” Now Lily was on the defensive. “Severus saw the envelope, and he couldn’t believe a Muggle could have contacted Hogwarts, that’s all! (Deathly Hallows Ch. 33, p. 669-670)

The two wouldn't have known Dumbledore's reply was kind if they just saw the letter. They went into her room and then opened her mail. Also, me, I would have freaked out more if some boy I didn't really know or liked was just in my room. This point doesn't really matter in relation to canon or anything, I just thought I'd mention that child Petunia deserves a mention every now and then.

~~

The Marauders' pranks seem to all be hexes. Everyone considers them harmless and sometimes funny or annoying or pranks. So hexes even if not legal are seen as just pranking and stupid. This also kind of implies that James and Sirius did most of the pranks not really Peter or Remus but I don't think that was intentional and is just a book contradictory.

walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can — I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. (Order of the Phoenix Ch. 28, p. 648)

“And stopped hexing people just for the fun of it,” said Lupin. (Order of the Phoenix Ch. 29, p. 670)

He pulled out a card from one of the topmost boxes with a flourish and read, “ ‘James Potter and Sirius Black. Apprehended using an illegal hex upon Bertram Aubrey. Aubrey’s head twice normal size. Double detention.’ ” Snape sneered. “It must be such a comfort to think that, though they are gone, a record of their great achievements remains [...] It was, as Harry had anticipated, useless, boring work, punctuated (as Snape had clearly planned) with the regular jolt in the stomach that meant he had just read his father or Sirius’s names, usually coupled together in various petty misdeeds, occasionally accompanied by those of Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. (Half-Blood Prince Ch. 24, p. 532)

~~

I don't think Snape was a loner. Even in his own memories, he doesn't present them as if he had no one once he got to Hogwarts. The text itself makes it seem like obviously Lily was his best friend but he hung out with the Death Eaters on a level of actually liking them.

"thought we were supposed to be friends?” Snape was saying, “Best friends?” “We are, Sev, but I don’t like some of the people you’re hanging round with! I’m sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he’s creepy! D’you know what he tried to do to Mary MacDonald the other day?” Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face. “That was nothing,” said Snape. “It was a laugh, that’s all— ” “It was Dark Magic, and if you think that’s funny— ” [...] "Mulciber's and Avery's idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them." (Deathly Hallows Ch. 33, p. 673 - 674)

Also we never find out what Mulciber does but in Goblet of Fire it's revealed that he's really good at the Imperius Curse. Now, he probably wasn't doing Unforgivables at school (although all the Crucio's thrown around even during Harry's time might prove otherwise). But it might have been something along the lines of that curse.

~~

People change and grow which is good but Hermione and Ron definitely had a prejudice of werewolves and threw that in Lupin's face during the Shrieking Shack. Like it wasn't about him helping Sirius, they were also appalled at the werewolf bit seperately. Also it was wrong of Snape to teach that and make a whole essay hoping students would pick up on the symptoms matching Remus' symptoms.

~~

Canon does confirm that Severus suspected Remus of being a werewolf before The Prank™. He wanted to know where Remus went every month. Severus had worked out the schedule exactly and knew it was once a month.

"Severus was very interested in where I went every month [...] We were in the same year, you know, and we — er — didn’t like each other very much. He especially disliked James. Jealous, I think, of James’s talent on the Quidditch field . . . anyway Snape had seen me crossing the grounds with Madam Pomfrey one evening as she led me toward the Whomping Willow to transform. Sirius thought it would be — er — amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree trunk with a long stick, and he’d be able to get in after me. Well, of course, Snape tried it — if he’d got as far as this house, he’d have met a fully grown werewolf — but your father, who’d heard what Sirius had done, went after Snape and pulled him back, at great risk to his life . . . Snape glimpsed me, though, at the end of the tunnel. He was forbidden by Dumbledore to tell anybody, but from that time on he knew what I was." (Prisoner of Azkaban Ch. 18, p. 356 - 357)

Also I think this shows that The Prank™ happened in 5th year a little before Snape's Worst Memory but it wasn't what made Severus drop hints to Lily about Remus being a werewolf. His suspicions were confirmed that night of the Shrieking Shack but they formed well beforehand. We don't know if this is what Severus actually saw that led him to start being suspicious because it doesn't seem likely that he and Remus ever talked about it but this is really the only in depth detail we ever get so it's what we've got to go off of.

The one thing that never gets explained is how Severus approached Sirius or what happened that would lead to them having any sort of conversation where Sirius would say if you want to go after Remus, here's how you get past the Whomping Willow. Which is a missed opportunity in my opinion. Clearly Sirius was aware that Snape wanted to go after Lupin and they both understand that. So what did Snape do or say to lead up to that. Because based on how his character is written in the rest of the books, unless Severus alluded to knowing Remus was a werewolf, it's out of character for him to risk his friend like that. We get this scene showing Sirius' character in the exact same scene after Remus tells the story:

“Two more for Azkaban tonight,” said Snape, his eyes now gleaming fanatically. “I shall be interested to see how Dumbledore takes this. . . . He was quite convinced you were harmless, you know, Lupin . . . a tame werewolf —” “You fool,” said Lupin softly. “Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?” BANG! Thin, snakelike cords burst from the end of Snape’s wand and twisted themselves around Lupin’s mouth, wrists, and ankles; he overbalanced and fell to the floor, unable to move. With a roar of rage, Black started toward Snape, but Snape pointed his wand straight between Black’s eyes. (Prisoner of Azkaban Ch. 18, p. 357)

If Snape had just said something like he was going to tell they were breaking curfew, I doubt Sirius would have just blurted that our so I wish it had been given a scene.

But this does show that even though Sirius was wrong to tell him how to get into the Whomping Willow, Severus suspected something was up and proceeded to go on a full moon anyway. If you suspected he's a werewolf, why take the chance?

Even though it makes no sense for fanfic purposes (or canon really but different convo) the timeline is: Snape is suspicious —> The Prank —> Snape's Worst Memory. And all in a matter of days or weeks in 5th year. Feel free to switch it up though because that's a lot crammed into a short time.

And personal opinion, but Dumbledore wasn't wrong in this moment. Remus can't control what he is and potentially getting expelled would make him a victim as well. We don't know if Sirius was punished by some made up excuse but I don't think forbidding Snape to tell was wrong when it doesn't affect Sirius but Remus.

Lily also knew about his theory. Even though this conversation is after the prank, this isn't new information. It's Severus reiterating what he suspected before, just with the added context that he has confirmation of Remus being a werewolf.

“He’s ill,” said Lily. “They say he’s ill— ” “Every month at the full moon?” said Snape. “I know your theory,” said Lily, and she sounded cold. “Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they’re doing at night?” “I’m just trying to show you they’re not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are.” The intensity of his gaze made her blush. (Deathly Hallow Ch. 33, p. 674)

Unfortunately, I think people were right that Severus was jealous of James over... Quidditch. It sounds like a cover up and so foolishly silly. There's definitely more things but being jealous over quidditch was true. It comes out of Snape's mouth in his own memories.

The words seemed wrenched from him against his will. “And he’s not . . . everyone thinks . . . big Quidditch hero— ” Snape’s bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily’s eyebrows were traveling farther and farther up her forehead. (Deathly Hallows Ch. 33, p. 674)

~~

This is more speculation than overt in text but I don't think James did take off Snape's underwear during the second Levicorpus in Snape's Worst Memory. The Deathly Hallows is a YA book not middle grade so it would be acceptable to put that in the book. The book has worse stuff in it. But the first time the memory appears, Harry is pulled out by Snape returning to his office before he can find out. The second time, it skips it. If the scene had finished playing out with Severus having his underwear forcibly removed, I think it would have been on page by this point in the last book. That doesn't make it right by any means, I'm not saying that. But I think it's not concrete that James ever did that.

Now what else isn't concrete is that "Snape never used Levicorpus the way the Marauders did". It lifts people up by their ankles. It's a spell Snape confirms was invented. It's a spell that became a popular jinx around Hogwarts. The Hogwarts uniforms are black robes and point hats. Those things are confirmed and canon by text. So if Snape or any other student was using Levicorpus, unless they were wearing something underneath their robes, they all would have been exposed like Severus was in his Worst Memory. That makes literally everyone look bad and is actually problematic of all the characters. And means Snape invented the spell knowing it would do this and did it to people. And then all the other students did. They'd all be shitty.

Of course this can be remedied by just stating that people wear clothes under their robes and Snape just happened to be in only underwear that day but the books seem to be wishy washy on if people are wearing clothes under the robes or not or even wearing the robes at all sometimes. This also does lend some credibility to people saying Snape's Worst Memory was the part where he called Lily a mudblood not the part about being Levicorpused. Because if everyone in school was doing that to each other and it's just seen as stupid jinxes then the Levicorpus wouldn't be the most horrifying thing. I used to not believe in this thought but seeing the text again, it's possible.

~~

This specific scene tackles a lot of what was said before but I want to address it as a whole instead of breaking the dialogue up:

“I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.” “I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just— ” “Slipped out?” There was no pity in Lily’s voice. “It’s too late. I’ve made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends—you see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?” He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking. “I can’t pretend anymore. You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine.” “No—listen, I didn’t mean— ” “— to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?” (Deathly Hallows Ch. 33, p. 675 - 676)

There's something pretty traumatizing that Mary was the one around to hear Snape threaten to sleep in front of the Gryffindor Common Room. Like his friends assaulted you with Dark Magic and then he's there and threatening to sleep there. Mary dealt with a lot of trauma that we never talk about.

Severus never meant to call Lily a mudblood, once again confirming it is viewed as a slur in this world. It doesn't just slip out. He's comfortable using it. For years, he's been friends with people who want Lily and people like her harmed or dead. It's not just convenient to hang out with these people because he has to see them since they're all in Slytherin. It is Severus' ideology and belief.

And not to harp on her too much but Lily actively hung out with someone constantly calling people a slur and only gave up on him after he said it to her specifically. Like babes, stand up, please. She also says she made excuses for him for years implies he did in fact dish it out like he took it.

Snape calling every muggleborn a mudblood, hangs out with known Death Eaters, aims to be one officially, and wants to join You-Know-Who. All around the end of 5th year into early 6th year. The war had been raging and they all knew it so Severus wasn't a troubled teen who joined a bad cause. He actively participated in it. Troubled teens don't always join neo-Nazis simply because they're troubled. That claim robs Severus of the agency his character has. He made these decisions and has to contend with them. That's a more powerful character.

Even when he was alone though, Snape still used that word. Even when there was no part to play. He never changed his ideology. He only joined the right side because the woman he loved was killed by the other side.

And now Snape stood again in the headmaster’s study as Phineas Nigellus came hurrying into his portrait. “Headmaster! They are camping in the Forest of Dean! The Mudblood— ” “Do not use that word!” “— the Granger girl, then, mentioned the place as she opened her bag and I heard her!” “Good. Very good!” cried the portrait of Dumbledore behind the headmaster’s chair. (Deathly Hallows Ch. 33, p. 689)

He's still calling muggleborns a slur. Unprompted and Unprovoked.

(Side Note: Why does this feel like a retcon of Phineas Nigellus? He's not mentioned much but I think maybe fanon has me remembering him as being more awful but he's not that bad here or really does much in the series)

~~

No one from the marauders era saw Harry as a real person. There's way too many quotes to show it but I think we all know. Every last one of them saw Harry as James 2.0 or James reincarnate but they never saw him as just Harry.

Final Thoughts:

The look-back into actual canon was very helpful. A lot of unanswered questions are actually explained in other spots, we just tend to forget when they are never explicit or lingered on and the book series is as huge as it is.

I do have to say though that the re-read actually made me not like Snape more. Like, I don't remember half the quotes being like this but they were actually worse than I thought. Particularly the point where he's in Sirius' bedroom, takes a letter not addressed to him and then rips a photo in half to only keep the part of Lily and throw the rest of her photo that has her husband and CHILD on the floor. I hate to say it but canon actually made me not like this character, the opposite effect I was expecting.

It also did make me sympathetic to child Petunia and remember that they were two very different people. Shame she became awful.

[msnihilist]

Person Who Has Never Watched the Reboot Decides to Liveblog Alien-X-Tinction

First scene and I already hate Max's voice. #NotMyGrandpa

idk what alternate universe this is yet, but I like 1) that Ben is sad :), and 2) that his Omnitrix looks like that??? It really sells the idea of a prototype 🥺

"resistance will only beget pain" — villain who is smart enough to know that Ben doesn't know what "beget" means

"you always try to interrupt" okay, ouch, I actually love that angst (I already know who the Alien X is and what he's been doing to alternate Bens (I'm only watching this because the Wiki page for the special was interesting to me), so this is lovely :3) Max always tries to save his grandson and he never succeeds </3

Side note: evil Celestialsapien is a cool idea, and I like that this one is taking a "hands on" approach. It's about the thrill of the hunt :) And loving making people suffer

"oh, no, not again" LMAO, the dimension-hopping Max sounds soooo mildly inconvenienced

WAIT, DID THE ALIEN X RIP OFF BEN'S ARM??? I can't tell what happened here?? Fuckin' kid's show censors 😭

Max's face when Ben hugs his grandpa…… I love suffering 🥺

"you'd think I'd be used to it all by now" coming from a man who lost his grandkids and tortures himself by watching it happen again and again in other timelines hurts so good 😭 😭 I also love that they let Max cry about it. It's a small thing and it only lasts a second, but in the Classic continuity, Ben only cried on screen TWICE, both when he was 10. Letting an aged man hurt like this without making a joke about it is good to see <3

Back in the Real Timeline, I guess, lmao. I love that Gwen is tied up and just looks so bored with the whole affair

GWEN'S VOICE?? #NOTMYGWEN (I like that Zombozo is voiced by Drakken, tho)

Hm. I kinda like this angle with Ben's frustration. He feels like he's not living up to his full potential as a hero because he always has Gwen and Max helping him. It's different from when Ben would get cocky in the OG, and I think it's an interesting point, too :p This blatantly isn't about being a hero, it's about the thrill, which is something that ten-year-old Ben consistently struggled with

Still hate reboot Heatblast, but whatever

I definitely don't like how the fights are animated? It feels... slow. And I get part of that is to build up suspense/show of Alien X's abilities, since this show is aimed at a younger audience who wouldn't be familiar with the Classic continuity, but still :/ I don't like the flat camera angles and the hits don't have a lot of weight to them

Love that Alien X is killing off Ben's, though — something Eon was always too pussy to do

I hate this art style, but I appreciate that the writers are trying

I love villains who are obsessed with Ben Killing him, hunting him down, whatever. Watching villains shove aside whatever or whoever gets in their way to pursue Ben with single-minded fervor always hits good.

This fight between Ben and Alien X, up until he loses the Omnitrix, is probably my favorite fight in the special. Alien X was at his coolest and Ben really gave it his all, no matter how badly he got beat in return.

"there's no omniversal road-side service that drops out of thin air" — man who has forgotten that this is Ben he's talking about

BRO, THEY'RE PLAYING THE ALIEN FORCE THEME SONG WHEN OLDER BEN STEPS OUT OF THE PORTAL 😭 Okay, even though AF had kind of a lame opening, I'll admit: that was pretty hype

Holy shit, wait, the reboot has been going on for five seasons and this Max STILL hasn't told his grandkids about the Plumbers??? I hate him, worst grandpa

LMAO, Maximillian calling Ben a stubborn brat <3 AF Ben looking away in embarrassment because he knows it's true (he literally JUST tried to walk off and go it alone for?? no reason, literally), I love them. They're a family in every dimension

I think it's cute that Gwen already likes teenage Ben <3

Alien X: "You're in the wrong dimension." Ben, who's relaxing nonchalantly waiting for his plan to pay off: "Is that why my keys don't work?"

I MISSED AF BEN SO MUCH, HE'S SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN 😭 HE LITERALLY TRANSFORMED JUST TO GET UP THERE AND HAVE A DRAMATIC ENTRANCE

AF BIG CHILL DESIGN + VOICE, MY BELOVED!!! They even kept Ben shouting out his transformation's names, nreulgneklge. That's some attention to detail that almost makes me forgive the art style <3 (almost)

"little me," omg, he's such a fuckin' dork

I love that when Bens get together, they literally just love each other, it's so so sweet <3

"I should rethink my prior mercy." "Your generosity will not go unappreciated… or unpunished." ngl, this guy is a sick villain

Okay, this made me love him. And Gwen's faith in him is sooo <3 Truly the best cousin of all time

"Are you okay?" "Better now that you're back, cuz." Ben and Gwen are so fucking cute in the reboot, I love them 😭 🥺

I love that Gwen 10 goes, "And, yes, we're [Gwens are] better" and then fucking picks Ripjaws for a fight in a rocky desert, sfbrygbrku. She's such a dumbass I do love her Ripjaws design, tho!! Love that they avoided the Omniverse problem of making the female aliens excessively feminized. ALSO OG HEATBLAST, MY LOVE

OV Ben ruffling younger Ben's hair 🥺🥺

AHAHA, OG Ben immediately assuming that this Gwen is also a magic user, pfft. Even in a dimension where they don't get along as well, he's got so much faith in his cousin <3

Gwen's little watch tech is like her UAF powers!!

Of course OG Ben would get pissy about someone picking the same alien as him 😭 He's so chronically ten years old

"But I'm not your Ben." "You're all my Ben." Okay, maybe this Max is actually the best one 😭 🥺

Jeez, that tragic backstory was pretty fucking brutal. Vilgax straight-up just vaporized Gwen and Max. I love the idea of an evil Ben who's lost everything, though. His Max and Gwen are dead, what more can they take away from him? Eon could never

LMAO, MAX JUST FORCIBLY ADOPTING EVIL BEN AT THE END. Ben is so unenthused, he's gonna get loved whether he wants to or not!!

Okay, just finished it. Final thoughts? It was really cute. Is it good enough to get me to watch the rest of the reboot? No. It's definitely not as hype as some of UAF/OV's high points, probably in part because I still can't get into the art style and also because the fight scenes just aren't as good.

It had pretty good pacing! I was surprised by that, I thought 45 minutes was gonna be too short, but it ended up feeling right. (Also, I'm upset to say that Max's voice grew on me. Gwen is on thin ice.)

You can tell that this was made with a lot of love, both for the characters and for Ben 10 as a whole. It really does feel like a love letter to the fandom, and for that, it was a good watch :)

Final score: 7/10, not NEARLY as bad as I was expecting, worth a rewatch <3

[franki-lew-yo]

Worst year of your life so far

It's hard not to feel like every time a moderately good and nice or even great thing happens to me I ought to expect and inconvenience or a TERRIBLE thing to happen right after. This is genuinely why I'm afraid to be happy. I don't have an exact religion, I'm just certain that I am in fact an evil person or at least some evil person's revitalized soul. Since November of last year my life has been, in this order:

>Receive notice that I might owe SSI 15k because a miscalculation says they're overpaying me. I don't have 15k or stashed away 15k. I've been using every cent of money given to survive and pay back overdue fees. Life coach is sure I won't have to pay anything. I don't believe her.

>Find out that the location of my jobsite is being terminated within a week before the site is closed down. Can not be moved to a new location. The chain is dying. No location has room for me.

>Spend the days up to Christmas helping my coworkers who were a lot of times my only non-family communication, tear apart our store and then become strangers. The worst part is when they have me throw out hundreds of dollars of boutique clothes because the company wants to write it off as a reduction, DIRECTLY into a garbage bin. We'll be terminated from any further locations if we're caught trying to save or sneak away with anything. It's Christmas time and here's some clothes for needy people and my company is literally throwing them in a landfill. I just watch.

>Is repeatedly told by my job coach, REPEATEDLY, that I will get a job at a place which shares my old workplace's union. Nope. I don't. They string the both of us along for four months. By the time we move on to a new place in mind THAT job opportunity fizzles out after too many tries. My job coach and I have a fight and he doesn't talk to me or wants to see me. I feel nothing but shame. He and his wife are going through their own crisis.

>While ALL of this is happening I'm watching an active genocide a take place in real time. I try to do my daily clicks and boycott as much as possible. Come August I use up the rest of my unemployment money donating to any vetted fundraiser I can. I hope, I HOPE every time that THIS MONTH must be the last month of this slaughter. The powers that be have to do something...the answer is a resounding no. More and more innocent families are butchered. I can't offer anything really substantial.

>TWICE. TWICE IN ONE YEAR- my EBT gets cut off until I repeal it.

>My sister and I are both unemployed and in mental (in her case physical anguish). We blow up at each other more than once, especially over politics. She gets a job that she hates and is dangerous before the thankfully quits. She gets another job and is layed off for no reason in the same week she gets it.

>Can't afford a real dentist. Have to do a dentist-intern who tells me to watch my cavities that I have but no they can't do anything about it.

>My laptop's mouse stops working. It's fine for tablet but it means I need to use an external mouse for everything casual and writing. I'm already avoiding doing too much digital artwork on account of not wanting to wear down my system. Oh also my screen has a shadow on in.

>My mom is evicted from the house she and her boyfriend have lived in for years now and is forced to live in my grandpa's house which HE'S been forced to move out of. It was also a house I had lived in for awhile as well and so all of my sister and my own childhood things have to come back with us to our apartment. We don't have room. I'm going to have to downsize so many of my things.

>Catch covid because I was too stupid to bother with a booster. It delays getting me my new job and tasting anything for a month. Also delays me getting to work on the art I need done by September/October.

>Dog gets a bad flea infestation almost immediately after this because of summer heat. Also she wasn't on flea medication when it happened.

>My new job is two days a week rather than three. Lesser pay than what I used to have. All throughout October my schedule is cut to one day a week. I can never truly finish my job for my supervisors like they need to of me.

>Life coach assigns new job specialist; the one who got me my job. New specialist tells me all about Tiktok and how I need it and how I ought to download and post more on there. When I ask her for help navigating the platform and for her to help me on my social media art campaign; she shuts me out. Tells me repeatedly she's not versed in social media and tells me to instead take an online class. That's not what I want from her I want her to support me as an artist and that means occasionally just following my pages. She gives me a hard "no". Literally all my plans for a semi-active youtube, tiktok and instagram campaign fall apart. If I can not be supported even emotionally what's the POINT??

>I learn just this night how I unintentionally deeply hurt one of my oldest friends on the platform when I get the courage to ask if she's really upset with me or not. She blocks me mid me trying to ask for more information on the incident that hurt her. I do think I wronged her, but it's that I didn't even know I did that HURTS. Another one of my friends is right in the way of a frikin hurricane.

>Sister/Roommate is diagnosed with a condition that makes drawing difficult. I try not to draw near or around her as much as possible. It hurts. We are both still artists.

>Next door neighbor who's made creepy sexual comments about me to my sister throws dog poop on my sister's car at night. He thinks it's our dog even though I'M THE ONE picking up our dog's poop every single time.

and finally

>Country elects the same admitted fascist we kicked out for starting a riot.

Art, fandom and my dog is literally all I have. It is my one and only escape and happiness. I would be proud of myself and how much I've matured since just last year, but I can't. I can't be because I'm too miserable and so is everyone else around me. People tell me it's my fault or not my fault, people tell me I can help but won't or that I can't help at all. It's never enough. I wish I could be a better friend towards every one of you. I wish I could be a better creator. I wish I could find the time in my schedule to find a time in my therapists' schedule to see me again. All I ever feel like is an entitled garbage heap for even complaining when so many people are suffering to such an insane degree. Even the campaign people coming to me about how they want me to reblog their posts trigger me on account of how so many seem to forget they've already talked to me before. The fact that I am forgotten by circumstances where people can't remember anyone's username hurts me when it shouldn't.

I just want it all to stop.

----

And, for the first time, I actually want to thank you if you somehow read any of this. This is going to get deleted soon (or maybe not) because it is a trauma dump and TMI.

And yet I genuinely needed to get all of that off my chest. I am INCREDIBLY stressed out and hate to feel bad for myself because that just makes me hate myself and then feel more bad for myself AGAIN rather than do what I keep saying I want to do and help people. I wish this clarity and odd inner-peace wasn't brought about by such turmoil and inner pain. I wish that so much. I guess to quote Art Spiegelman quoting someone else: "Samuel Beckett once said: 'Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.'...but then again, he did say it."

[bingbongsupremacy]

The Letter Pt. 1

Pairing: Ellie Williams x fem! reader

Warnings: She/Her pronouns used, Outing

Summary: Ellie and Y/N are in two very different social groups at school. One day when Y/N's crush is cruelly exposed in front of the whole school, Y/N is brutally shot down. Finally, five years later the two run into each other again.

High School AU

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

*Not Proof Read* TLOU Masterlist

*****

Ellie. Williams.

Star basketball player and Student Council Vice President, all while being in multiple clubs. There's nothing she can't do.

Ellie's done literally everything. She's played every sport, been in every club, been in multiple art shows. She's one of the coolest people there is. Obviously everyone loves her. Who wouldn't? She's talented and pretty.

" You're staring again. " Dina teases.

" Oh shut up. " I grumble, poking at my suspicious school lunch. I'm not quite sure what it is but I don't think I want to find out.

" Just go ask her out already. What's the worst that can happen? " Jesse asks between mouthfuls of a sandwich. " I mean, I asked out Dina and here we are three months later. "

I roll my eyes. " It's different. I don't even know if she's into girls. "

" Just ask. " Jesse states in a 'duh' tone.

Dina shakes her head. " Jesse stop. Let Y/N take her time. "

I glance back at the long table across the room. Ellie eyes crinkle slightly as she laughs at something one of her friends says. She slaps the guy on the back, her short hair falling into her face.

She's so pretty.

I've heard rumors from my classmates. I've heard about her hooking up with a couple of the cheerleaders after games. She's never had a girlfriend though. At least one she's talked about.

Even if they weren't rumors, would she go for a girl like me? We run in two different circles. She never hangs out from anyone outside of her clique unless it's to help tutor other students.

Even then it's because it looks good on college applications, not because she wants to. She's admitted it when helping me out with science homework.

The bell rings and students begin to scatter. I make my way towards one of the small rooms behind the library where our study sessions our held. I pull out my notebooks and get ready to see Ellie.

I pull out my sketch book, flipping through the pages. One page catches my eye.

The Letter.

I spent all night working on it, figuring out the perfect thing to say. I ended up deciding not to give it to her when I saw her hanging out with some guys from the football team. I chickened out.

Maybe some day.

I turn to the next page, deciding to doodle while I wait.

" Hey! Sorry I'm late. " Ellie drops her bag onto table next to me, starting me. " Had to grab my books. "

" Fuck. " I mutter, blinking.

Ellie smirks at my shock.

" It's fine. " I shut the book, pushing it to the side.

Ellie sits down next to me, pulling her chair next to mine. " Alright, where were we? "

_____Third P.O.V._____

" I'm gonna go to the restroom. Be right back. " Y/N hops up, heading towards the door.

Ellie nods, not bothering to tear her eyes away from the textbook in front of her.

" Hey, Els. " A voice greets.

Ellie glances up to spot one of her friends. " Oh hey, Viv. " Ellie greets.

Vivian glances around the room. " Tutoring another dork? " She asks, picking at Y/N's items.

Ellie frowns slightly. " Well, yeah but I think she's okay, ya know. Like, she's pretty smart. Just not doing so well with AP physics. "

Vivian rolls her eyes. " You're too...nice, Ellie. You're too kind to say what everyone thinks. " Vivian lifts up a small black book. She flips through the pages in, clearly unamused at what's inside. " She's no Davinci. "

Ellie's unsure what to say. Sure, what Vivian's doing is fucked up. She'd hate it if someone looked through her shit, but she worked so hard to make it into the popular group. She spent months trying to fit in. She wasn't going to lose it now on a random girl because she feels a little bad.

Deciding not to feed into Vivian's antics, Ellie remains silent.

" Oh my god. " Vivian's eyes widen as she pauses at a page.

" What? " Ellie asks, curiosity getting the best of her. Whatever Y/N drew can't be that bad, right? Then again, she didn't really know the girl. Maybe she had some fucked up mind or some shit. She seemed normal though. How bad could it really be?

Vivian shakes her head, a giggle slipping through her lips. " This is Y/N's book, right? " She tears out a page from the book before setting the book back where it was before.

Ellie slowly nods. " Yeah...why? "

Vivian smirks. " No reason. You'll find out at the assembly. Speaking of assembly, I've gotta get to the gym. It's gonna start soon. Be there. Make sure Y/N's there too. " Vivian turns to leave. " She's not gonna want to miss this. "

Ellie doesn't respond. She watches as Vivian leaves the room with the paper in hand. What the fuck was on that paper?

Y/N makes it back into the room a few minutes later. " Alright. " She grins. " Let's get the worksheet done. "

Ellie nods, her mind otherwise occupied.

The next ten minutes seem to fly buy quickly. All Ellie can think about is the paper. What was Vivian going to do? What did Y/N have on that paper? Should Ellie bring Y/N to the gym? If she didn't, what would Vivian do?

The bell rings, signaling the end of study hall. Y/N and Ellie gather their things.

" Hey, are you going to the Assembly? " Ellie asks, trying to keep her tone calm.

Y/N shoots her a smile. " Yeah! I am. My friend's in the orchestra."

Ellie nods. " Nice. I'll see you there? "

Y/N's heart begins to quicken. Usually their conversations don't stray further than homework or classes. " Yeah. I'll keep an eye out for you. "

Ellie shoots Y/N a small smile, causing butterflies to erupt in Y/N's stomach.

The two break apart for their next class, both of their minds racing. One mind full of excitement at the thought of possibly running into Ellie at the assembly and the other full of dread at what's to come from the assembly.

------- First P.O.V.-------

I look around the gym, my hands slightly clammy. I eventually spot Dina in the corner, preparing her violin. I quickly send her a small wave before returning to my search.

" No need to search. You're favorite person's arrived. " Jesse jokes, taking a seat next to me.

I roll my eyes. " Ha ha. You're just who I was looking for. "

Jesse's eye brows quirk in surprise. " Really? "

With a laugh I shake my head. " Fuck no. "

" Ouch. " Jesse places a hand over his heart. " Straight to the heart. "

I grin. Finally I spot a familiar auburn haired girl a few rows below. Beside Ellie is the Vivian Logan, the student body President. Aka the school's resident bitch.

Ellie doesn't seem to notice me. She takes a seat next to Vivian, immediately crushing my soul.

I knew it was a long shot she'd sit next to me but a girl can dream, right?

" Finally. It's starting. " Jesse grumbles impatiently.

The orchestra and band play their pieces ending in the school erupting in applause. Finally, the principal makes his way towards the center of the gym.

" Students! Thank you all for joining us today! I'd like to welcome this year's student body who helped put together today's assembly! Give them a hand, will you? " Principal Clark claps while the student body filters down to the middle of the gym. " Now, your president, Vivian, has a few words to say. Take it away, Vivian. "

Principal Clark hands the microphone over to Vivian who accepts it happily.

" Hey guys! First of all, I just wanted to say I'm so excited to be up here today! " She excitedly states.

" So excited! " Jesse mocks.

I gently slap his shoulder. " Be nice. " I chuckle. " She hasn't done anything. "

" Yet. " Jesse mutters. " She always pulls something. How the fuck did she get elected? "

" Because she was voted hottest on the hottest vs nottest list last year. " I remind him. Stupid list. Why the fuck would someone waste their time making something like that?

" Guys...I know last week was the talent show but we have a late entry. A very late entry. " Vivian pulls out a small piece of paper. On the back is a familiar drawing.

A snake.

My heart stops.

No.

No fucking way.

How the hell could she get it?

It has to be a different paper. Right?

Unless...

" This person wrote something so beautiful I just had to share. This is actually to you, Ellie. " Vivian looks over to Ellie who furrows her eyebrows in confusion. " Lucky ducky. "

" Jesse. " I whisper.

" What? " Jesse asks in confusion.

I never told him about the note. I never told anyone. Fuck fuck fuck.

" I wrote that. " I begin to panic. " I fucking wrote that. "

Jesse's eyes widen. " What? Fuck, are you sure? How do you know? It could be anyone's. We haven't even heard it yet. "

" It's mine. Jesse it's fucking mine. "

Everyone's going to know what I fucking wrote.

Vivian clears her throat. " Let's begin. " She smiles brightly. " Dear Ellie, gosh, I'm so nervous writing this to you right now. I just can't keep it in. I feel like I need to tell you. I've thought about telling you for months. Actually for a couple years. I've just been so nervous. " Vivian mocks. With every word she acts it out, her words exaggerated. " I really like you. I don't know if you like me back. I just feel like I need to tell you. Whenever I see you my heart begins to race. I really like you Ellie Williams. And if there's any chance you possibly like me back, please let me know. Sincerely, Y/N. " With that, Vivian points at me.

I feel the stares of everyone around.

Giggles and whispers flood the room. The sound of people mocking me bounces off the walls.

" Fuck, Y/N... " Jesse says, obviously mortified for me.

None of that matters though.

All I can focus on is the horrified expression on Ellie's face. Her eyes stare straight into mine, burning a hole into my body. Her body is tense and unmoving underneath her jeans and open button up.

Vivian's laugh brings me back into reality. " Ellie, what do you have to say to this out burst of love. Do you feel the same? Personally, I think it's cute. She has a little crush. A little cringy but hey, it's flattering. " Vivian shoves the microphone in front of Ellie.

Ellie's cheeks turn a dark shade of red. She blinks. " No! Fuck no. " Ellie shakes her head, taking a step back. " Y/N, this would never fucking happen. " She gestures at the two of us. " No fucking way. No, Y/N. You're not my type. "

My heart shatters. She's not gay. She doesn't like me. Fuck.

Suddenly everything feels worse. The laughter gets louder. The points and stares become more obvious. The room seems to close around me, leaving me trapped in a room full of people making fun of me.

" That's enough! " The principal shouts.

His voice seems far away.

It's too late. The damage has already been done. Everyone knows I like Ellie. Everyone knows I like girls. What the fuck am I going to do?

I feel a strong arm pull me up.

Jesse leads me down the bleacher stairs. He pushes open the doors and ushers me out. The laughter of my classmates slowly dies out as the door shuts. Not completely though. I can still hear bits and pieces.

" Fuck, Y/N. Are you okay? " Jesse asks while rubbing my shoulder to console me.

I shake my head. " My life is over. "

My life might not have actually been over but at that moment it truly did feel like it was.