#literally my ideal type
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everytime i finish a sam audio i feel so empty inside (he should empty insi-) like he's literally my man?? wdym i need to wait another 1-2 months to hear new content from him????
hes so fine i'm going crazy, i need to BE darlin' so bad
#i don't even like country mfers but erik just makes him so jhenjnfrjfmiem#he's literally perfect#ughhhhhhhhh#i want him irl so badly this is unhealthy#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted sam#redacted darlin#redacted asmr sam#he's so yummy#idgaf if ppl want other characters for the ba i NEED him you don't understand#what the fuck#literally my ideal type
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#my type 🫶#You’re Cutest When You’re Pathetic ~Obsessed Golden Retriever Boy Haru’s Disciplinary Sex~#art#literally my ideal type#Umekoppe delivers everytime#Umekoppe#manga#yandere#myandere
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one thing i think is really funny is that. like. okay edgeworth chartered a jet and came flying over the instant he thought phoenix's life was in danger but if it hadn't been for larry calling him in a panic in the first place i sincerely doubt edgeworth would even have known about it at all because phoenix sure wasn't gonna call him about it. something even funnier is that at the beginning of the stolen turnabout when atmey makes the claim that even edgeworth thinks godot is a masterful prosecutor or whatever phoenix has no reaction whatsoever. he doesn't even care. it's MAYA who exclaims in disbelief and goes edgeworth?? no way??? etc etc. phoenix literally just stands there like he's made of cardboard until maya asks him if he's heard of godot before. doesn't even REACT to hearing edgeworth's name. at any given point in time in the trilogy + investigations there is this giant disconnect in how phoenix and edgeworth see each other and it's hilarious in an interesting way. by aa3 phoenix has already gone through the "savior complex" and "victim of my undying hatred" options and apparently that just left him like ??? uh yeah edgeworth's my. friend i guess. it's good to see him again. hey edgeworth i wasn't planning on calling you about my condition or the situation at ALL but now that you're here would you mind taking care of this girl for me and finding maya and acting as a defense attorney in my place because i trust in your ability to sort shit out. thanks! and edgeworth is just like ah wright the last bastion of justice and hope in this universe the man who shines so brilliantly before my eyes (or whatever the hell the line is i forgot) my dear and indispensible friend of course i will do this for you. it's just. the more you look at it the more the trilogy and investigations make it clearer that phoenix and edgeworth are just two guys in their twenties who do not really know or understand each other at ALL
#like they literally turned it around on each other first edgeworth was the victim of phoenix's idealizations#(and his savior complex)#in a way that just made edgeworth go ??? and then phoenix is the victim of edgeworth's idealizations#in a way that no doubt makes phoenix go ??? especially after he gets disbarred#does this make sense. idk i'm typing this out as i walk my dog
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i love the idea of gabrielamala + unspoken words. they don't need to speak. tbh, they prefer not to. both of them aren't super comfortable being vulnerable about their feelings and resort to soft touches. a gentle caress of the knee. or perhaps a gentle squeeze of a hand resting on the other's face. two fiercely intimidating people who can't help but melt around each other
#amala to me is the type who ideally *wants* to have someone to vent to but prioritizes commitment/actions over mere words#i haven't talked about gabrielamala on my blog in 84 years and it's literally MY brand so.#romance club#kali call of darkness#amala basu#gabriel grant#amala x gabriel#mir's musings 💬
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every day i think about the ansur plot in act 3 could've actually had emotional weight if larian studios gave a shit about wyll. damn.
#like the whole gauntlet is about expressing the type of heroism that wyll has striven for his entire life.#the way the quest is so prototypical in it's fairy tale sensibility of the honest and true hero awaking a dragon under the city and -#saving the day and he goes through this whole gauntlet that's a test of how well he ascribes to the ideals of balduran and his father -#and everything he ever clung to to validate himself to himself after being coerced into mizora's deal as a 17 year old kid and then -#he succeeds! he passes the tests! only to find that ansur (literally named answer) is an undead abomination you have to put down#like it's SO SAD. and to me a big part of his story is accepting who HE is. seeing himself outside of his deal w mizora or what his father#wanted him to be and the fact that wyll isn't allowed to have a big emotional reaction to the ansur situation is so annoying#in fact wyll doesn't EVER get to have an emotional reaction to anything bc larian studios doesn't care enough to flesh his story out -#despite giving him one of the most interesting ideas for a character in the game! like act 3 should be WYLL'S act! he's so tied into -#everyone important in that act that it's actually a crime that he's sidelined the most there and he doesn't have enough vocal fans -#that larian studios will ever care enough to patch his story or add anything like they did for karlach or astarion. it's so dumb.#and it sucks that the writers don't recognize wyll's abuse bc his abuser is a hot devil lady. what she does to him is sick. god.#anyway. whatever.#baldur's gate 3#my posts#.txt
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it's lowkey hard to be a fan of mobile games because i'm here for the characters and then the characters are retconned into going through the exact same character arc like 20 times just in case you missed the last event where they almost developed in.
#most of my favs and also my ocs i could literally just yoink and use in another narrative. but i'm too busy to write a solid one rn QHDBDB#ideally i put them in a total drama type game with less grossout humor and more cartoon violence#a less deadly dr maybe. a more action filled hfj one.#chatter#'if you're gonna complain literally do it yourself' I WOULD... I LITERALLY WOULD... HHGNGH...#normal again i'm drawing wlws this week
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Obligatory fancier outfit that must be present anytime I post outfits
#self#fantasy costume#If I had the money for a custom tailored fantasy-ish victorian-ish suit instead of piecing together random thrift store items with like walm#rt halloween costume type jackets and stuff..#unstoppable.....#I would actually lean more straight up historical with my wardrobe it's just that everything I own basically is thrifted aside from a very#small portion of things (like usually socks for example I get from ebay. wigs from ebay. things that it's hard to find in thrift stores. etc#) and I rarely ever find stuff like that at the bins. Your closest bet is like. hopeing that the week you come in just so happens to also be#a week that a church costume department recently donated a bunch of old stuff. but I just haven't really had much luck finding like fancy ve#sts and suit coats and cloaks or like tunics and etc. etc.#Styles like mori kei or cult party kei are pretty accessible and easy for places like the bins (where youre usually digging through piles of#curtains and fabric scraps and doilies anyway). but finding like.. a straight up tudor england costume or something is . VERY rare#Sometimes you do find halloween costumes. Or like. stuff that's clearly like cheap 'Goth' stuff from shein or aliexpress that someone has do#nated and they can be a LITTLE okay in terms of usable for costumes. But you rarely find actual good quality stuff. obviously because like#real very good quality historical costumes are expensive and most people aren't just like 'yeah dump it off to goodwill' lol#In an ideal world though I would have fancy top hats and neck ruffles and stuff .. know this ghhjbhj#Lack of that will not stop me from taking picturesin basically the same outfit 6000 times though. My one single silky black vest and#one of the two solitary ruffly neck shirts I have every been able to find.#Pointy-ish little boots that I put with everything even thogugh they look terrible up close because they're literally like over 10 yrs old#I bought them so long ago and the black fake leather lining is like peeling off of the outside#ANYWAY#he's back again... the same little generic like elf vampire ruffle shirt with vest look.. might as well be the same guy#I support him and his dumbass disintegrating shoes anyway
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I know I said I'd leave everything behind and become a hermit if Ei-chan turned out to be evil, but have you considered: he's sexy
#yakuza 8#like a dragon infinite wealth#lad infinite wealth#infinite wealth spoilers#ryu ga gotoku#eiji mitamura#you know youre down bad for a guy when you start writing smut about him#evil + aleks le voice + snarky little asshole that's literally my ideal type are you kidding
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when ppl are like "do u know ppl of x minority that ur still in contact with" as a gotcha ig to say ur not actually as open and progressive as you say you are but bud... i dont talk to anyone from my past, lmao, I dont think thats a fair metric to go by quite frankly
#no i dont talk to that person anymore. just like i dont talk to any of the privileged ppl i knew anymore either lmao#i kinda cut everyone off bc apparently ppl in my state just have a hard on for being judgemental assholes all the time and im tired of it#i thought maybe it was me but i hear from ppl who arent from here all the time that ppl are way more weird and cliquey here#and its hard to make friends so. i feel less bad now lmao.#i thought i was crazy but no im seeing reality perfectly clearly. ppl just are super cliquey here for no reason#and anyone who strays from the status quo in any capacity must be Shunned and Condemned for being Wiyuurrd#the more right leaning types dont try to hide it. but the progressive try to cloak their disgust and uncomfortability with people#being different with a bunch of excuses. literally making shit up about me to justify hating me so they can still feel progressive#while hating and making fun of me in an explicitly rw way#like. acting like kiwifarms people out here being fucking strategic n shit pretending to like me so they can make fun of me type shit like#you look like a nazi dawg lmao.#you make me feel like hanging out with my brothers friends- who definitely leaned a bit to the right- is more ideal bc at least they're#fucking out in the open and honest about making fun of me bc they think im weird. yall are too cowardly to just own up to it.#'n-no i swear its because he did [thing i either did but it didnt go down the way they said or something they made up]! i swear im not#just making shit up just to make fun of him !!!!!!! i promie!!!!'#i literally cut off all my hair bc of taking 'lsd' from those same brothers friends bc i went fucking crazy basically (trying to emphasize#how low the bar is that id rather hang out with these dudes than the more left leaning ppl i knew) and people assumed i did it bc some girl#who had or died of cancer that i never even fucking heard before??? like idk. ig they thought i was trying to be insulting or smthn????#i didnt even know who this chick was and it was my first time hearing about her when ppl told me someone spread that rumor.#bitch i was sitting in my bathroom for hours having weird discussions in myself and basically fighting between my real self#and what felt like an external force of all the judgements ppl have made about me manifest into one being (zero) trying to convince me#i couldnt be me and i felt like he possessed me to cut off all my hair and i heard him say 'THIS ISNT YOUR REAL HAIR!!!'#since it was dyed at the time and i was embracing being trans and embracing being my true self but something about that 'trip'#fucked me up and detrans and it had a lot to do w another trip i had w those same brothers friends making me feel inadequate.#i dont know who da fuck you were talking about bitch im living in a nightmare over here can we talk about that instead of whatever tf#you're going on about and making up to justify hating me and ignoring my suffering?
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The energy of the Tooned episode with Jense and Nando is certainly something, my god 😳
#jense is way too good at voice acting got me blushing and shit#but like JENSE WEARING A SPEEDO!! JENSE CALLING FERNANDO A PET NAME!! etc etc#nah bcs at the end when they change into their secret agent outfits#and they literally animated fernando looking directly at jense's crotch 😭😭😭😭😭#this is why they are my favorite teammate duo#this ep is based off james bond 100% which is so ideal bcs i was just talking to cofi the other day +#+ about how nando(and f1 drivers in general) are perfect for a Bond AU 🤭#didnt realize mclaren already fed me for that idea#mostly inspired by the db12 launch this yr bcs like fernando in a suit with a bond type car really makes the brainrot go brrrrr#but wow jense 🤭🤭🤭#one day i will draw them as bond maybe! i have proper reference ig hahaha#catie.rambling.txt
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Maybe it's just the day today but idk what it is about finding out that people my age (or at least in my generation) have kids...on the one hand it's like, Aw, cute - kids, but on the other hand it's like Oh god that will NEVER BE ME [being a parent] AND I'M FINE WITH THAT BUT ALSO ?????? and I don't know what the '??????' means, except it kind of depresses me.
#also tbh for some reason seeing wedding photos (especially straight ones) make me feel similarly...but like#I'm depressed for a second because that'll never happen to me but the next I'm RELIEVED like oh thank GOD that'll never happen to me.#and if I had to guess what the depression thing is about...I think it's a generational thing. almost like a peer pressure type of thing but#literally none of my peers are pressuring me to be like them. and not that older generations USUALLY pressure me about that but sometimes#they do and the assumption that I'm going to be a parent or get married is like...urgh; I have been fundamentally misunderstood.#but then (last) the relief swoops in because ultimately I decide what I do with my life. and I don't have to meet others' expectations#whether those expectations are genuine or realistic or 'in my best interests' (lie) or what have you.#tbh I just think it's better to act with the assumption that everyone (including oneself) knows what's in their best interests individually#I think it takes off the pressure to perform. which is ideal. we all deserve to be genuinely ourselves.#and idk THAT'S WHAT I'M ALL ABOUT anyway...
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Wonbin makes me deranged and all but sungchan is such a guy <3
#like bro hes literally my ideal type#i really hope hes like that off camera too#kyuzu 👺#▣ random posts#jade 💚#my baby deer 🦌#⭐– starboy#riize
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i love my husband he's so silly goofy!!
#ash rambles 💚#went on a rant today about how much i hate his source material LMAAOO#i tried to be a fan for so long but after reading the shitty light novels? what a fucking cesspool of problematic shit lmao#i get that the point of the series is that everyone sucks but come on. theyre fucking unlikable#and i hate the fandom#so much#nobody hates s.hizaya like i do. you could even say i dislike i.zaya. all the power to people who him#i just think he's a dick#interesting character maybe. but a dick. also admittedly ive had beef with people who lile him so. yrah#also i think n.arita is a shitty writer#i dont think this series is well written#and this isnt really something i wanna argue but like#it's my blog. i get to speak my truth#however#the series does have my dream man! the man of my dreams! my knight in shining armor! my ideal type! my wonderful and amazing husband!!!!#he's such a comfort to me and i love him#he's amazing#and a great dad#to both my fankid and her pet dog#I'm sorry if this post is incoherent lmao I've been doing hw all day and I'm beat#also i have my drivers exam tmr so like.. wish me luck!#IM ALSO GOING TO THE F.INAL F.ANTASY ORCHESTRA TOMORROW?!?!?!?+#j^×*÷&=&×^÷&@^jahshqysAHJSQGRJQYUEHWJEGWJE#oh i forgot to use husband's tag..#kissing in the van 💍#okay there we go#I'm gonna get back to homework now#i literally just came here to be a hater LMAAOO#also i love my husband he's amazing#and i do wanna say that there are some things abt the series i do like. please dont flame me (after all. I'm already ash. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!)
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i can't find the motivation to keep going guys!! i think i lost it a while ago but i didn't notice lol i think it probably slipped that time i lost my wallet? idk
#*insert gif of John Travolta in Pulp Fiction*#sitting in my desk looking at my past and my potential future wishing i didn't have to live any part of the 💫human experience💫#can i pretty please quit? 👉🏻👈🏻#can i get a good fking reason for why everything is so hard?#and at the end of this existential crisis i still have to do the work#and keep going as if i wasn't literally dying inside which every decision im forced to make#my sociology professor talked a lot about “liberty to choose”#and i was like???#i can't choose shit my guy#we don't have the power to choose#the moment we're born we're placed in our respective boxes of expectations and obligations#plus the fact that all these studies on society and culture is based in “ideal types” almost a utopia of how society actually works#and im like🧍🏻♀️#how can i sit and read about all this and regurgitate it in an exam#do a presentation with a smile about how 💫with the power of love and a sense of community we can help those in need💫#im honestly so tired of pretending#AND I DON'T EVEN DO A GOOD JOB PRETENDING#im very obviously upset lmao#idk im sad#and tired#so so so tired#i wanna go to sleep#read a fic#listen to some music#and pretend my vote counts for fking something#when it clearly doesn't
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Took my laptop apart at to clean it (at 3:30am as you do) and took some time to poke around and look at the internals.
This ram is so ancient that it out to be in a museum. It seems like 1333mhz ddr3 was quite reasonable at the time, especially in a laptop. But nowadays I'm pretty sure my phone is generations more powerful. Kind of insane how computing power has rocketed forward in just a decade or so. I've never even heard of super talent before lol. They seem to be a bargain computer hardware company of sorts.
Honestly kind of a miracle that the laptop still works. It got used and abused as a main work station and routinely ran in the ~90'C range with many blue screens over the year due to over heating or corrupted memory. Now that I think about it I had an issue once where the ram was corrupted but reseating them and running memtest brought them back to life. It was strange, but you take the rare Ws that don't involve individually testing every stick of ram in every ram slot only to find out your mobo is broken.
This was 4am tech ramblings with Scarves.
#text#the laptop is literally falling apart#you have to press the power button a certain way or it wont turn on#and the key that types the last digit of my password doesnt register keystrokes like half the time#but it got me here#real hero of a laptop#im pretty sure the hard drive is moments away from bricking#it sits at 100% usage all the time#which is not ideal#this is also a windows thing#but ya#its not really worth trouble shooting#i just play VNs on it in bed sometimes#it has actually blue screened from playing VNs before#which is a real indicator of its general health#i tried to play genshin on it once#and it did run#but the fans spun up so hard it was about to take off#i thiiiink it has a gtx 670m?#or maybe a 700 series laptop card#i dont remember#but it played things suprisingly well#just got a million degrees hot#i should go to sleep
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these days i do sometimes see people literally just parrot the western-machismo ideal of 'ewww, feminine men, gross everyone who likes men should want big manly men and if they don't they're wrongheaded. smh silly misguided people' while simultaneously, and here's the rub of it and the part that makes me feel like it's bizarro world, they've truly and genuinely convinced themselves this is a meaningfully anti-bigotry position of some kind. and that liking men who are soft or thin or feminine is an insufficiently-progressive low-key-bigoted position. because it's.... i don't know, inherently fetishizing, or something. fuck if i know. i think this is bizarro-world thinking to a comical degree
i speculate it's one of the many internet phenomena that result from people looking at what's popular in their circles of awareness and going 'well this must be the societally expected default and so the principled position is to advocate for whatever its alternative is (and surely the fact i personally prefer the alternative as a matter of taste is just a coincidence)'
and not realizing that..like.. even though their internet sphere has a lot of Lisa Simpsons reading their own personal fandom version of Non-threatening Boys Magazine the western world at large still definitely eschews non-traditional masculinity and expects everyone to favor manly men rather than willowy bishounen.
so you aren't actually fighting any sort of pressing Good Fight by getting mad that some people like or depict sad wet wimpy thin boys instead of all longing for a big beef-o muscle archetype, and you should inspect whether in fact the issue is just that you dislike that aesthetic/character type (or, in a fandom context, that specific character). which if so is fine and you can enjoy the kind of content you enjoy without making it a smug grandstand
#i think this first started to bother me in the BJD world#about 15yrs ago when the first muscular options started showing up there was an implicit 'finally! the good shit!'#at the time this reaction made sense! primarily because it was a type of body that wasn't offered by companies before#but people (in the western part of the hobby) just kept expressing their distaste for slim/androgynous dolls even as muscular became common#at some point i really started to dislike the implications when people sneered at 'bishie' type doll styling as the un-enlightened default#when it was clearly on its way out in favor of machismo and muscle and so much of the world pushes the latter already#at this point as far as new dolls being released the formerly common soft willowy boy dolls are pretty rare versus tall ones with muscles#anyway lately ive been forced to notice against my will that this became a thing in anime fandom when i wasnt looking or something#and people justify it in like. absurdly self aggrandizing ways#'oh i like REAL men not wimpy skinny weak boys. ((pause)) because i'm a good leftist and don't Fetishize!'#you guys. you are literally just parroting the culturally ingrained american ideal that men be big and manly#just because youre annoyed that your friends like bishounen doesn't make that a..... Political Position.
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