#and at the end of this existential crisis i still have to do the work

[monsterfucker-lisa-swallows]

i think the disconnect over what doctors and society sees as "getting better" does not match up with my expectations for it

doctors define getting better as being able to work and perform in a way that is indistinguishable from the people around you. it's basically "don't be a nuisance". you are expected to do anything you reasonably can to get to a baseline where other people can't tell you're in pain and you don't require government assistance. but even when it's that, they're often going off metrics that are based on their life experiences and not ours. many are able bodied with no serious mental ailments and they live their lives in fear of becoming us. they think if they had our problems, they would focus first and foremost on "getting better" because the idea of a wheelchair scares them. the idea of needing ANY help scares them, particularly if they are boomers, because older generations were raised to believe it's a weakness and a burden to need any help.

my idea of "getting better" is being able to do my hobbies without brain fog. it's not being deterred from fun activities because of my back pain. it's refusing to meditate because it actively makes my ptsd worse. it's using mobility aids in the airport because they prevent me from being in terrible pain and suffering the worst anxiety. it's asking for help when i need it. we do not have to "deserve" "luxuries" like quality time with people we love and the ability to do hobbies by torturing ourselves and performing for others, fuck that.

i once watched a documentary attempting to answer the question if disabled people can be truly happy. the documentary was made by a disabled man and interviewed different people with different disabilities. what struck me was a man with a birth defect that left him with no arms talking about how his whole life he was pressured into wearing and practicing with his prosthetic arms even when it hurt him. he much prefers to open doors with his feet and use self driving vehicles. but people to this day still pressure him to use less effective methods that hurt him. why would they do that to a perfectly healthy man? because THEY are uncomfortable and have not examined their own horror at the idea of what they would do if they didn't have a limb. they treat it as this end of the world thing, as if everyone should have to find a way to perform in the world the exact same way as they do or else they have an existential crisis. but you know what - fuck em. do (or don't do) the things that make your life worth living.

You know what? It’s fucking hard trying to get better. It’s exhausting managing doctors appointments, doing daily PT exercises, eating better, trying to exercise, trying to meditate, and doing ADL’s. I have had a bad crash per week trying to juggle and do all of the above.

It’s easier and less acutely painful to just coast and not actively work on ‘getting better’. Is the work worth it? I don’t know yet.

But to people who’ve tried and given up, to those who don’t even bother - you still deserve care and compassion.

[ravenstargames]

✦ LOST IN LIMBO — 2024 WRAP-UP + 2025 MILESTONES

And here we are, after the holidays! Another year has come to an end and this one was simply incredible. You can anticipate what our most important milestone was for 2024, but there has been a lot going on this past year that maybe we all have forgotten. So let's see what these four friends have accomplished this year, and what's coming for a 2025 that already looks promising!

Good news is that we achieved every goal we set up for this year! Isn't that awesome?! We published our first demo, hosted our very first casting call (and it was nuts!) and so much more! Let's see it :3

✦ OUR STUDIO, RAVENSTAR GAMES, WAS OFFICIALLY FOUNDED ON JULY!

Let me tell y'all that when you finish college, keep studying because it turns out the job market is absolutely devastated and cannibalized, and then have an existential crisis, the last thing you think about is saying "fuck it we ball" and open a studio. I mean, we are literally four people with no stable jobs (well, Kayden is an exception) and with no previous experience making a game entirely by ourselves.

So this was a huge step for us. A scary one. A terrifying one, and still is. But we've survived so far, so let's hope we can still do just that—survive at least long enough to start living. Calling this our job would be a dream come true, but there's still a long road ahead until that!

✦ WE SUCCESSFULLY FUNDED LOST IN LIMBO ON KICKSTARTER!

And you were right if you thought this was our most important milestone of the year!

Honestly, I low-key thought we weren't gonna make it. As I said—four people with no budget, paying for what we couldn't do ourselves with what our grandmas give us on Christmas—what were the chances anyone would be interested in helping us fund our game?

But we still had to do it, because making it this far and not risking not being funded would be madness. So there we were, opening Photoshop with tears in our eyes, watching our mediocre bank accounts get obliterated and working on the Kickstarter graphics with nothing but glitter and Jesus.

Also, we were asking for a lot of money and it was our first project. We've seen firsthand a lot of projects fail, a lot of people being scammed, and a lot of projects not going like the audience and devs wanted. So I thought we were a bit doomed.

Well, turns out there are people who believe in us and our project, so I was proved wrong. Maybe our graphics were really cool in the end, huh? I worked my ass off on those! /silly

So 980 people donated almost 60k euros and on September 27th, Lost in Limbo became officially a thing. Which is wild. I don't think I believe it still, honestly.

Of course, not everything went smoothly! As first timers we made a lot of mistakes, but we knew we were going to mess up something. Sometimes it was us, sometimes it was Backerkit or Kickstarter...Truth is watching a million YouTube tutorials, reading articles or learning about other devs' journeys doesn't make you ready to run a Kickstarter. There's some stuff you can only learn while running it!

So we ordered our merch, had our 🎉first delay🎉 because we made a mistake with our pins, and managed to deliver our digital goodies to our backers without blowing up (almost) anything.

✦ WE FUNDED OUR VERY OWN SOUNDTRACK!

And it'll consist of 19 original tracks by our wonderful composer Tomás Palazzi! 💜

✦ WE RELEASED OUR FIRST DEMO!

And overall, people seem to enjoy it! In fact, we recently reached +10k downloads and +71k views on itch! T^T

Of course, getting our demo out there was nerve-wracking, but we received a lot of love, and that includes wonderful and constructive feedback from a lot of folks who love our project and want it to succeed in its best form. Incredible content creators played our demo, reviewed it—and we've met amazing and stunningly creative people in the process!

However, as with anything you publish for others to see, not everyone is going to like it, and I think as a team we needed to also be exposed to that. There have been negative reviews that have helped us improve, and some others that have made us realize that our game, just like any other, isn't for everyone, and that's okay—our game isn't perfect and it won't ever be, and that's okay. As creators and creatives, accepting the critiques that help us improve is as important as letting go of the ones that contribute nothing, and to accept there are some things we don't want to change.

Of course there have been nasty or rude reviews, (most of them private) and albeit there were very few of them, but that was guaranteed. We try to have a few laughs at those!

✦ WE CREATED OUR OWN DISCORD SERVER!

And it's brimming with life!? We are almost 400 members and I may be biased, but it's full of amazing, supportive, and incredibly creative people. It feels so strange to see people talk daily about your game, about your characters—theorize, laugh, ask stuff...I can only hope our members feel at home as much as we do, because even if we can't interact with everyone all the time, just reading y'all makes us extremely happy :')

✦ WE STARTED WORKING ON OUR EXTENDED DEMO!

And it's going great! The script is doing better than expected, even if I'm editing more stuff than I originally planned. Implementing feedback we received during our survey is helping me improve the pace, storytelling and dynamism of the script. I'm an overthinker so I know I'm most likely editing / adding more stuff than I planned, but so is the way of the west.

Raquel has (as you all know) been working on the reworked sprites, and for now there's 4/7 done! 💜 We also have finished one of the new backgrounds and one is close to being done. That's 2/3!

Also, thanks to y'all buying extra stuff via Backerkit, we've managed to raise a bit more money and have been able to commission Airyn for help on the extended demo, as well as Allie (our editor) and the wonderful, the Ren'py Jesus, Feniks, to help us with our programming adventures! So technically we didn't reach our second stretch goal (outsourcing) but the extra coins have allowed us to hire some help!

That's all for 2024! Phew! Now, our plans for 2025 are quite simple (me when I lie).

First of all we want to ship our Kickstarter merch (more on that on a Kickstarter update coming soon!)

Finish production for our Kickstarter artbook

Release our Extended Demo

For now, we are aiming for a June 2025 release of the prologue, and the first chapter of every route will follow soon after.

Open our Patreon!

We have to think about this thoroughly, plan it, and make sure we can offer quality stuff worthy of your support. Some of you have asked a lot about a Patreon but we want to make sure we make it right!

On a personal note—this year I have been working on my OCD, as last year, and booked with two therapists. My therapist (the one who diagnosed me last year), and a different one specialized in OCD. This year has been full of highs and lows, but I'm in a much better headspace than I was last year, to the point of my meds being lowered! ✌️

I also enrolled for my PhD program like a month ago, and I got accepted after a lot of college shenanigans that almost became my villain arc. So this year is going to be funny for me!

Every member of the team has had their personal issues to deal with this year. Mental health, family, etc. It hasn't been an easy year for us, but I'm happy to say we've been there for each other.

And I think that's all! Overall it has been an insane year. Very productive, very nerve-wracking, and incredibly awesome. We can only hope this year is as good as 2024 if not even better, both for us as people and for our game. We hope your 2024 has been good, and we also hope you are excited to make 2025 a year you can be proud of; but most importantly, a year in which you can take care of yourself, be at peace with who you are, discover new things about yourself, and crave a path to the future you want to live!

Talk to you all soon! 💜

[im-getting-help]

i can't find the motivation to keep going guys!! i think i lost it a while ago but i didn't notice lol i think it probably slipped that time i lost my wallet? idk

[hauntingblue]

I have connected two dots... yamato kaido and momo (and kinda shirahoshi with her top) have clouds above their shoulders... and luffy in gear fourth has them also.... I can see the signs

[hgfictionwriter]

Self Control: Part Fifteen - Wedding (Epilogue)

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Raising a kid certainly derailed your and Jessie's wedding timeline, but after many months, the big day is finally here.

Warnings: G!P content. Oral (J receiving). Fingering. G!P penetrative sex. Possessive language. Preg/breeding kinks. Language.

A/N: Well, everyone, the closing chapter is finally here. To everyone still with me on this journey or those who are new - thank you! I hope you enjoy. Full series is here.

"How are you holding up? I hope you're having a fun night."

Jessie read your message and quietly removed herself from a group conversation to take up a seat on a nearby couch.

"Honestly? A bit overwhelmed lol. Missing you and Riley."

"Yeah, who decided to follow through with these weird traditions of us not spending the night together lol."

"Seriously haha. We can blame my friends for that. But hey - at least we spent the day together, we just aren't allowed to spend the night lol."

"Well...Riley's probably fast asleep with your parents. But, if you want a break from the unrelenting celebrations, there's nothing stopping us from running into each other on a midnight walk."

"I love that idea. Let's do it. Meet over by the dining cabin on the far end of the complex? There shouldn't be anyone over there at this hour. I need probably 10 min."

"Done. See you soon, love."

Jessie realized she was smiling as she put away her phone. She cleared her throat and ran her palms against her thighs as she began to formulate her exit.

Her neutral expression was short lived as her eyes fell upon the three newly inked lines across the wrist of her right hand, more or less a mirror of the ones she'd gotten years prior on her other wrist. These lines though - one for each member of her new family; you, herself and Riley.

"Smiling to yourself the night before your wedding - that's gotta beat sweating bullets and having an existential crisis."

Jessie arched an eyebrow at Janine as she stood.

"Yeah, none of that here," she chuckled as she started to make her way towards the cabin door. "My parents texted. I forgot a bag of Riley's stuff in the car. I'm just gonna go grab that and drop it off at their cabin."

"Oh, I can do that. Stay - this is your night. You can't leave - you're the star of the show."

"Now that has me sweating bullets," Jessie replied dryly with a teasing eyeroll as she grabbed her keys and continued walking. "I'll be back in a bit."

She ignored Janine's persisting rebuttals with a charming smile and a wave as she stepped outside and closed the door behind her. She took a deep breath, enjoying the fresh mountain air as she looked up at a dark sky lit up by twinkling stars and a crescent moon.

She shoved her hands in her pockets and began the trek over to the other side of the complex you and her had rented out for your wedding.

Though both of you would've loved to have little to no fanfare or audience, it really just wasn't feasible no matter how much you tried to trim the invite list. Jessie would've loved simply eloping - going away for a weekend alone and coming back married, but that would've gotten her killed by a multitude of friends and family.

As a compromise though, you wanted to have the wedding be as 'you' as possible, meaning you both found this nice, rustic mountain resort with cabins, hiking trails, a beautiful creek and more as opposed to having it at some fancy venue in the city.

The wedding took a while to get off the ground. What with a baby in the picture and a new club season and international window to work around, all of the effort required to pull a wedding together just fell by the wayside. By the time this day came around, your baby went from a newborn to an 18-month old toddler in the blink of an eye.

The cabin Jessie went to meet you at was dark when she arrived, as expected. It was locked at this hour, but this cabin was far enough away from where all the guests and staff stayed that she wasn't entirely worried about privacy. She went around to the back and leaned against the wall as she waited for you.

She patiently looked up at the constellations until she heard faint footsteps in the distance. A smile crept across her face and evolved into a full blown grin as you rounded the corner, tentatively peeking around.

You put on a mock expression of surprise, a hand to your chest as you approached.

"Oh my gosh. What in the world? I can't believe that you're out here too."

Jessie laughed and mimicked your expression. "No way! So crazy." She shrugged her shoulders. "Oh well, what can you do?" She pulled you into her arms and gave you a kiss. She smiled further as your arms came up around the back of her neck and you leaned fully in.

You rest your forehead against hers and exhaled quietly as the kiss ended. "This is so silly, but I feel like I haven't kissed you at all today. I know we did during all those games and such, but, you know what I mean."

"A real kiss," Jessie answered, knowing exactly what you meant. Doing all of these couples games and people hooting and hollering for you and her to kiss was a bit of a nightmare to begin with, but it also certainly wasn't an intimate, real kiss.

"See? You get me," you said as you gave an exaggerated, contented sigh. "I guess that's why I'm marrying you."

She chuckled and captured your lips in another kiss.

"Yeah, you're pretty much stuck with me," she said. "Pretty hard for you to back out now."

You shot her a withering look and rolled your eyes to which Jessie just grinned.

"Yeah, I'm really dying to get out of this relationship. It's the worst," you deadpanned.

"I knew it," Jessie played along and you rolled your eyes once more, this time pulling back and placing your hands on your hips.

"Well, I mean, I hardly know you," you said slowly, eyeing her up and down before reaching out and letting a finger trail down her chest. "I thought you were such a good girl, but here you are sneaking out at night and breaking the rules." Your eyes met hers and she smirked at the glint she saw in them.

"I can be bad for you," Jessie said rather smugly as she wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you close again.

"Well," you smirked as you drew teasing circles along her shoulder, "let's keep that between you and me. I'd hate for you to have an early midlife crisis and go through a belated Bad Girl phase. Fucking around and all."

She gave you a look. "You really don't get how much I adore you? Us having a baby together and getting married really hasn't convinced you yet?"

You toyed with her shirt idly, the look in your eyes shifting slightly. "People get married and have kids all the time. It's not a guarantee of anything. Feelings change. Wants change."

Jessie let out a slight laugh, but narrowed her eyes nonetheless. "Well are your feelings or wants going to change?"

"No," you replied simply and easily, holding her gaze.

"Then why would mine?" She challenged lightly, causing your eyes to drift downward towards the ground. Jessie thumbed your cheek gently and pushed your hair behind your ear. "You really don't get it. There's absolutely no one else for me. It's you. Every moment. Every day. There's no competition. I love you so incredibly much. And just when I think I can't love you more, you do or say something that makes me fall even more for you."

Even in the dim light of the moon, Jessie could see the faintest signs of blush on your cheeks.

"Whoa," you joked shyly, eyes still on the ground before lifting them to meet hers. "Save something for the vows."

"I need you to know how much I love you," Jessie said earnestly. She watched you intently and you eventually sighed.

"I know...I just love you so much. I think the world of you and I don't ever want to lose you. I honestly don't know what I'd do."

"You're not going to lose me," she assured you. "It's been years and my friends still make fun of me for how obsessed I am with you. Never mind how whipped," she finished with a smirk, but held your gaze unwaveringly. "You're the one. You're my everything. You're my best friend. The love of my life. The mother of my child. And tomorrow?" She spoke intently, eyes looking down at your lips as she caressed your cheek once more. "You'll be my wife."

The kiss started off slow - just two people in love. Jessie wanted to somehow express how deeply she felt for you and reassure you that she'd always be here.

It wasn't long until the kiss began to grow hungrier, Jessie finding herself slowly being pushed back against the wall of the cabin, both your hands and hers beginning to wander. The sounds of your heavy kisses filling the night air.

"God, I wish we were staying together tonight," Jessie mumbled into the kiss as she felt her pants beginning to grow taut against her. She moaned deep in her throat as your hand came to cup her growing length.

"Maybe we should just go to the honeymoon cabin," you suggested as you two continued to kiss. You dipped your head and began to kiss down her neck. She groaned once more and her eyes fell shut as she attempted to think.

"W-we don't have the keys," she eventually managed. You made a noise of complaint, but continued to caress her restrained cock.

"Well...," you said slowly as you began to undo Jessie's pants. "It's just us out here."

"Babe," Jessie said, half in warning, half in astonishment as you began to kiss your way down her shirt and soon dropped to your knees in the dirt and fully undid her pants.

"What?" You asked teasingly as you looked up at her. "You don't like me on my knees for you?"

A low rumble emanated from her chest as she let her head fall back against the wooden slats of the cabin wall, a blissful grin on her lips as her hand began to run through your hair.

"Jesus Christ," Jessie mumbled, though certainly not in complaint. She looked down at you again with a crooked smile. "You're talking about me being a bad girl - it's your fault. You're the bad influence." She recalled the events of the past couple of years. "Getting me hard in the back of my friend's car and feeling me up, being so fucking sexy that I just have to jack myself off while on the phone with you and getting freakin' caught. Fucking in my parents' basement and in my childhood bedroom while my mom is on the other side of the door. Got me storing a collection of dirty photos of you in the back of the nightstand. Never mind what's in my phone. And now you're about to give me head while we're outside where anyone could see."

Jessie groaned again as you reached into her boxers and released her stiff cock, your fingers trailing teasingly along its length.

"Well. When you put it that way...," you said with a smirk. "But looking at how hard you are right now and the way your cock is already leaking cum for me, I'd say you like it."

She gripped your hair tightly before releasing it and running her fingers through your locks once more. She closed her eyes and nodded her affirmation. "Yeah. You can confidently say I like it."

"Well good," you accepted with a light chuckle as you rubbed her precum across the tip of her cock and teased her a bit more. She moaned low in her chest again and subtly began to thrust into your hand. You smiled. "Hey Jess?"

"Mm?" She asked, forcing herself to open her eyes once more and look down at you. God, you really did look incredible kneeling in front of her with her stiff cock in your hand. You gave her a teasing smile.

"I love you," you said as you took her into your mouth.

"Oh fuck," Jessie said in a low voice as your warm mouth wrapped around her and your tongue teased her tip. You moaned around her cock and she clutched your hair tightly in her hand once more. "Jesus."

She let her head fall back against the cabin and she leaned back, grateful for the structure behind her because of how weak in the knees she felt already. Her breathing deepened as you took her deeper and continued to pump her up and down with your fist.

Her jaw was slack as she finally opened her eyes. What a moment - your head slowly bobbing up and down on her length, looking absolutely gorgeous on this starry night, out in the wilderness on the eve of your wedding. In all of her wildest dreams, she could've never thought this up.

It didn't take long for Jessie to feel that tightening sensation between her legs and it took so much control for her to keep her thrusts gentle, her tip nudging the back of your throat and not pushing deeper.

"I'm gonna cum," she warned you. You moaned, nearly setting her off with the vibration of it, and began to take her deeper into your throat.

Jessie held back a loud moan, a muffled grunt escaping her throat instead as she released herself down your throat, her palm flat against the back of your head as she bit her lips and emptied herself.

You eventually pulled back with a slight cough, your eyes starting to water as you swallowed her load.

"Shit, I'm sorry," she breathed as she looked down at you and leaned down to help you to your feet.

"Don't be sorry," you said with a choked laugh. "It's hot."

She tucked herself back into her boxers and did up her pants. You leaned against her, her arms wrapping around you in an embrace as you both settled. She played with your hair and kissed the side of your face as she came down from her climax.

She felt you sigh in her arms. "I wish we could just go to bed together tonight," you repeated her earlier wish.

"I know," she sighed against you as she ran her fingers up and down the back of your neck. You shivered against her.

"Cool it," you said as you shrugged her hand away. "I'm already worked up."

"Yeah?" Jessie asked, peeking one eye open and looking over at you, a devilish smile beginning to form. Her hand drifted down your body until she reached the top of your pants. You didn't protest as she began to unbutton them, instead only moaning and gently rolling your hips against her.

Any drowsiness she felt in the haze of her orgasm quickly dissipated and she flipped you both so you had your back against the wall of the cabin. She dipped her head down and began gently sucking on the sensitive skin of your neck. You gasped softly, fingers digging into her crown as she did so and it drove her crazy.

Despite her recent climax, she felt herself growing hard once again as you quietly mewled in her ear and rolled your hips against hers. She felt a rush of arousal come over her, her body tensing up as she resisted the urge to truly pin you against the wall and have her way with you. She subconsciously sucked harder on your neck.

"Jess!" You hissed, bringing her back to the moment. She blinked, pulling away in confusion as you slapped a hand to your neck and stared wide-eyed at her. "The night before our wedding?! Really?"

Jessie stared at you a moment longer until you lifted your hand away, revealing the initial signs of a hickey. She cowered slightly, heat rushing to her face but she couldn't stifle the laugh that escaped either. She stared at it and eventually gave a half-hearted shrug.

"You're going to be wearing makeup," she offered before laughing once more. Her smile turned into a grin. "Besides, everyone already knows you're mine anyway."

Your eyes flashed and you leaned forward, latching onto her neck and sucking hard. You pulled back a moment later with a very satisfied look on your face as Jessie was now the one to cover her neck with a palm.

"What the fuck!" She hissed in return. "I'm not wearing makeup tomorrow. How am I supposed to cover it up?" She gave a disgruntled noise of complaint and you simply shrugged haughtily.

"They can photoshop it out. And now everyone will know you're mine as well."

"Oh my God," Jessie said, her mild irritation waning and quickly shifting to affection. She grabbed your hands and pinned them above your head. Her cock pulsed at the wicked grin you gave her as you held her gaze. "I gave you my baby. I gave you my ring. And now my name, too. I don't think anyone would've doubted I'm yours."

You looked upward in mock contemplation before smirking at her. "You can't blame me for wanting to stake my claim on you," you said as you rolled your hips against her once more causing her eyes to drift shut as an all too fleeting wave of pleasure rushed through her.

Despite Jessie pinning your hands above you and seemingly being in control, it fooled neither of you - you were very much in control. No surprise. And she didn't mind at all.

She released one of your hands and reached down to cup your heat through your underwear. She let out a low moan of approval at the dampness and radiating heat she was met with there. She pushed your panties aside and ran two fingers through your slick folds. A grin crossed her face as your knees buckled and you melted into her embrace, clutching her closely and gasping in her ear.

"God, you are so wet for me, baby," she said as she relished the feeling of your wet folds, clit and sopping entrance. Her cock strained painfully against her boxers and pants as she slipped two digits inside of your entrance. You gasped further and let yourself fall into her waiting hand.

"Fuck," you whispered as you gripped her curled fingers. She withdrew them slightly and pushed inside once more, the sounds of fingers moving through your arousal filled the otherwise quiet night air and Jessie's jaw dropped in amazement.

"Holy fuck. You are soaking and you sound so fucking good. Oh my God." She ground out the last part and couldn't help but grind herself against your thigh.

"Jesus Christ, Jess," you panted already as you rocked into her hand. "I want you to fuck me."

"Babe," she said as she buried her face into your neck, rolling her head against you in want as she felt your core accommodating the girth of her fingers. She could feel the ridges and curves of your walls as they fluttered and flexed around her and her cock twitched as she continued to slowly grind herself against you for some semblance of relief.

"God, Jess. I know you want me too," you said as you shook off her hand and reached down to cup her once more, massaging her firmly through the taut fabric.

"I didn't bring a condom with me," she said as she slowly thrust against your palm. "They're back at my cabin."

You exhaled heavily though you didn't stop the gyration of your hips or the movement of your hand. You ran your other hand through her hair.

"Sorry I didn't think to bring one - I didn't exactly anticipate this," she said.

"Well, stop being so sweet and romantic - meeting up in the middle of the night out in the moonlight and telling me how much you love me. If you stop doing that and stop being so attractive then maybe I'll stop spreading my legs for you."

Jessie let out another low moan and her grip tightened on you. Soft noises of want and need came from you both for several moments until you finally spoke.

"Riley's 18 months old now," you started. "The doctor said we're in the clear to start trying again if we wanted to."

A low growl rumbled up Jessie's through as she pushed her fingers deeper inside of you and ground her hips against you harder. You let out a breathy chuckle.

"I know you've been dying to fuck me without a condom again," you teased.

"Oh my God," Jessie muttered as she began to hump you a touch faster. "Don't tempt me. I'm not fucking kidding."

"Who says I'm kidding?" You said breathlessly as you dug your fingers into her crown once more.

"I'm serious," she said through nearly grit teeth as her free hand dug into the small of your back and pulled you tightly against her. "If you tell me we're trying again, you're leaving here with baby #2 inside of you." She forced herself to take a deep breath. "If you aren't ready, it's fine. I can sneak back to the cabin and get a condom."

"And what if I don't want you to?"

Jessie moaned, legitimately worried she was going to bust in her pants. "Then I'm fucking a baby into you tonight."

You didn't say anything. Instead, you shifted, Jessie pulling back to look at you only to see you shimmying your pants and underwear down your legs. You nodded to her and she immediately began undoing her pants once more.

Your pants and underwear fell into a heap on the ground, Jessie's barely dropping down around her ankles before you wrapped your leg around her waist and grabbed her bare cock, positioning it at your entrance.

Jessie didn't hesitate in sinking inside of you, sliding in to the hilt right off the bat. A wanton moan escaped you, probably louder than either of you intended or wanted, but you were both so far gone that it went unnoticed and Jessie began thrusting in and out of you with a level of urgency and desperation that might've embarrassed her in the past, but the way you gasped and clawed at her it only egged her on.

"I love you so much," she panted into your ear as her wet strokes filled her ears.

"I love you too," you whimpered in return as you bounced on her cock, your shirt the only thing keeping your back from getting scratched up from the cabin walls.

"Jesus Christ, I'm going to cum already," Jessie said a short while later. She panted, forcing herself to refocus for a moment to look you in the eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Cum inside me. I want you," you told her.

She needed no further encouragement and a few strokes later was pushing inside of you as deep as she could, spilling herself with a shuddering breath. She whimpered as strings of cum continued to shoot out of her and into you, coating your insides with her potent seed.

"Fuck," she breathed as she slowly drew her hips back. She looked down, seeing a mixture of your cum and hers along her cock before she pushed back inside of you, loving the way you moaned at the motion.

You stayed in one another's embrace for as long as you could before you both agreed that you should head back to your respective cabins. You reluctantly put on your clothes and walked back towards the guest cabins hand in hand.

You reached yours first and Jessie walked you up the steps to the door, no longer caring if someone saw you two together.

"Aww, it's like a first date," you said facetiously with a chuckle as you wrapped your arms around her and she kissed you. She leaned into your ear and whispered.

"Yeah, except this time my cum's deep inside of you and with any luck you'll be carrying my baby soon."

You blushed and swatted at her.

"Stop," you hushed her as she grinned at you. You relented with a brief shake of your head. "True though." Jessie continued to grin devilishly at you and you gave her another playful shove. "K. Get to bed, you heathen. You have a very important event tomorrow and you better not be late."

She kissed you again. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

---------------

Despite Jessie's exceptional dislike for attention, she felt calm and elated as she stood with you at the alter in front of all your friends and family and said your vows to one another.

The ceremony was lovely. The tears started early. First being when her mom came out with Riley; Riley in her dress and Jessie's mom's at the ready as Riley waddled down the aisle as she haphazardly threw handfuls of petals on the ground, straight up into the air - sometimes at the guests - dropping the basket entirely as she spotted Jessie and ran towards her, clutching her leg tightly.

"Up! Up!" Riley asked and Jessie glanced to her mom. She was supposed to sit with her mom and dad during the ceremony. She looked down at her little girl - with her curly, dark hair, brown eyes and bright red cheeks - she really was Jessie's kid. She bent down and picked her up, holding her against her hip.

"You look so pretty, my girl," Jessie whispered to her as she kissed her forehead. She pointed towards the crowd. "Let's wait for momma, okay? She'll be here soon."

She couldn't keep her eyes off of you. She started crying the second she saw you in your dress. It must've surprised Riley, because the little one just clung to her harder and buried her head in her neck.

"My two favourite people," you cooed as you came up, kissing Riley on the cheek and cupping Jessie's face to give her a quick peck. You made a face immediately after. "Oops, am I not supposed to kiss you yet?"

"Who cares," Jessie laughed as she handed Riley over to you, the toddler reaching for you as you stood across from them.

"Hi sweetie," you said as you took her. "Did you know mommy would've never asked me to marry her if not for you?"

"What!" Jessie protested in as hushed a tone as she could muster. She could feel her cheeks heating up already. "Of course I would've!"

"I'm just kidding," you told her. You laughed at how flustered Jessie was and gave her a wink. "We're off to a good start."

You handed Riley to her grandparents and the ceremony continued, culminating with you slipping new bands on each other's fingers and sharing a kiss that had everyone cheering and clapping.

Considering how some wedding receptions were, yours and Jessie's was pretty tame - at least for you two.

Even though it was probably overkill, you'd switched to non-alcoholic, coming up with creative excuses as to why and Jessie was simply never much for drinking in the first place. Though, her friends did manage to get her to do a couple of shots that left her cringing and coughing as you watched on and laughed.

Jessie was chatting with some of the guests when she heard her daughter's laugh followed by thundering, but clumsy, footsteps as she ran through the crowd, people nearly tripping over themselves to avoid bumping into her. She'd discovered a few weeks ago that she could run - or something akin to it - and she'd been nonstop ever since.

Jessie laughed as suddenly you emerged from a group and picked Riley up mid-run. She pouted and flailed momentarily, but whatever you said to her caused her to relax in your arms. Jessie excused herself from conversation and smiled as she approached you two.

"Look who's here," you said as you looked down to Riley and pointed to Jessie.

"Mommy!" Riley exclaimed, beaming upon seeing Jessie.

"She's having a field day out here," you said slyly to Jessie with a teasing look. "Running any chance she can get. Cheeks extra rosy from running around. And look at that smile," you said as you gently poked your daughter's cheek, eliciting a giggle from her. You looked at Jessie pointedly. "She's certainly your daughter."

Jessie took a moment to kiss Riley before leaning in to whisper in your ear.

"She better be mine," she teased. You pulled back with a smirk before leaning in to whisper back.

"What? You wouldn't want me carrying and having someone else's baby?"

Before Jessie could respond, you were walking away, eyes glimmering playfully. She called after you.

"No. I'd despise that!"

You turned and shrugged, earning a dangerous look from her. You grinned and grasped Riley's hand to give Jessie a small wave before disappearing into the crowd knowing full well that conversation wasn't over.

A short while later, Jessie found herself getting pulled out onto the dance floor by you. She grumbled in protest, but allowed you to push and pull her as you wished as you danced to whatever song was playing.

"You're my wife. You're supposed to be happy about dancing with me," you teased.

"I'm happy to be with you. I just don't like dancing," Jessie refuted as she half-heartedly tried to dance along, though was always half a beat - or more - behind.

"You didn't seem too bothered dancing with me when we were at that club on New Year's a few years back," you said with a glint in your eye. "Mind you, probably not appropriate for here."

Jessie's mind flashed back to you grinding up on her. In a sea of people, she was solely focused on you and how incredible you looked and that it was her you were with. True - not appropriate for here. She gave you a lopsided smirk either way.

"I wouldn't be opposed," she joked though her eyes raked up and down your body in appreciation. "And you look even more gorgeous than you did that night."

"Yeah?" You asked as you moved in close and Jessie wrapped her arms around your waist.

"You better cool it," Jessie warned in a murmur as her eyes drifted away. "I don't exactly need wedding photos of me sporting a boner."

You cleared your throat, drawing her eyes back to you. "Well, your daughter did ask for her light up running shoes. Those are back at the cabin."

Jessie's eyes studied you for a moment as a smile crept across her face.

"Oh. Well, we should definitely go get them. That's what good parents would do."

"Absolutely," you agreed.

You both looked around briefly to ensure no one was watching either of you too closely before Jessie grabbed you by the hand and led you out of the hall. The sun was setting as you two walked the paths back to the guest cabins. She retrieved the skeleton key from her pocket and showed it to you.

"And we can get into the honeymoon cabin this time," she told you proudly and you laughed, wrapping your arm around hers and cuddling in as you walked together towards the cabin.

You were kissing each other as you stumbled through the door and slammed it shut behind you.

"Pretty sure we're supposed to wait until the end of the night for this," you chuckled as Jessie was already starting to undo her dress pants.

"Well, we've done a lot of things out of order," she dismissed with a grin as she kissed your neck and guided you towards the couch. "And who's to say we're not going to do more later."

She kissed your lips and made sure the kiss didn't break as she took a seat on the couch and pulled you down on top of her. She bundled up your dress and lifted it so it was out of the way and she could have access to your underwear. She ran her fingers along the fabric and felt herself growing harder as she could feel the warmth and definition of your lips through the thin fabric.

"Fucking me during the reception," you teased as you kissed her deeper. "Gosh, I really am a terrible influence on you."

"Fuck no," Jessie disagreed with a wily smirk. "You're the best." She lifted you off of her to stand for a moment as she removed your underwear. She grinned as she tucked them into her pocket.

"I've created a monster," you joked as you pulled her cock out from her boxer briefs and straddled her waist once more, bracing yourself on her shoulders as you held yourself up as she poised herself at your entrance.

She ran the thick head of her cock against your entrance, getting it coated in your juices before she began to gently nudge at it and push inside. She moaned in pleasure as your tunnel slowly welcomed her, enveloping her length as she inched inside of you.

"Fuck. I'm so glad I can ditch the condoms again. God." She exhaled through her mouth as she looked you up and down. "Nothing feels as good as being inside of you like this. Nothing between us."

"God," you said as you tossed your head back and ran your fingers through her hair as you sunk down onto her and slowly rose back up. "I'm not kidding you - I've soaked through these panties more than once today thinking about last night. That was so fucking sexy."

Jessie growled as she began kissing down your neck and as much of your chest as your dress would allow.

"I noticed you're not drinking tonight," Jessie commented. "Think I knocked you up that fast?"

"You did last time," you chuckled as you began to ride her at a steady rhythm, her tip stretching out your entrance, teasing her, before swallowing her once more.

Jessie exhaled heavily - already feeling overwhelmed by the way you felt around her, the way you looked bouncing up and down in her lap - in your wedding dress no less - and the way your hands explored her.

"Y/N Fleming," she declared as she pulled you into a hard kiss. "Can't believe I've waited so long to make it official. To have you take my name." She rolled her hips up into you as she pulled you down into her lap. "Fuck. You're all mine."

"Oh God," you whimpered, head thrown back once more and eyes closed. "I'm yours. And you're mine."

"Always," she affirmed with zero hesitation. Her mouth hung open as she worked to steady her breath. She could feel blood rushing to her face and knew her cheeks were red with exertion. She shook her head. "I can't believe there was ever a time before you."

"Same, baby," you reciprocated as you looked down at her, cupping her face as you sensually rocked atop of her.

Despite your agreement, Jessie felt a rush go through her. She tightened her grip on your hips as began to buck up into you from below. She spoke through nearly clenched teeth.

"I hate that anyone was ever with you," she said. "You were made for me. They didn't deserve you."

Your eyes fell shut again and you leaned into her, your hands gripping her shoulders. "Holy shit. No one's ever fucked me like you. Or loved me like you."

Jessie snickered smugly, the sound of her hips bouncing off of your thighs resounded loudly in her ears.

"Well no one could ever make me feel like you do. I'm so lucky I met you."

"Jess," you whimpered as your body collapsed into her and you held her tightly. "I love you so much."

Jessie grunted as you rode her, your walls flexing and massaging her in the most exquisite way. She began to buck into you faster and her breathing grew ragged. You clutched her and she looked up to see your own cheeks rosy and your mouth slightly open as you pleasured one another.

"I can't wait until I start swelling with your baby again," you panted and Jessie's eyes slammed shut to the point of wincing as she fought off her climax. She wanted you cumming all over her cock before she flooded you.

"Jesus Christ. You are so sexy. I couldn't keep my hands off you last time. I never can - but God you look incredible carrying my baby." She grunted as she nearly came. "My gorgeous wife. So fucking beautiful."

"Don't stop," you begged as your orgasm neared. She watched you steadily as your expressions changed and you panted and moaned.

"My gorgeous girl," Jessie praised. "You look perfect bouncing up and down on my cock like this. And soon you'll be walking around this wedding with my cum dripping down your legs."

"Oh shit," you gasped as you began to convulse around her cock. Your movements stilled, fingers digging into her shoulders as your orgasm shook you. The way your softness spasmed around her, Jessie had no hope of fighting off her climax further and let out a whining grunt as she released inside of you.

"Oh, fuck, Jessie," you panted as she began to rut into you, shooting string after string of her cum inside of you.

You collapsed in her arms on top of her as you both panted and worked to regain your breath.

When you finally went to climb off of her, you both maneuvered yourself in a way that tried to limit how much of her cum was going to spill out onto her pants. Even then, your disappearance from the reception was extended further as you both worked to clean the cum off her pants before you made your return. Eventually, you gave up and Jessie got changed into a different outfit - people would believe she wanted to get into something more comfortable. You followed suit and got changed as well.

You returned to the hall and though you both received a few comments about your costume changes, all in all your absence was met with minimal questioning. Riley was thrilled to get her light-up shoes and immediately went stomping around the dancefloor squealing with delight.

Jessie continued to mingle with friends and family, as did you, and the night wore on. But it was really only a matter of time until a familiar cry soared over the music and din of the crowd.

Jessie frowned, excusing herself from a conversation and headed in the direction of her daughter's cries. She spotted you navigating the crowd and you caught each other's eye. When you both found Riley, she was red in the face, tears staining her cheeks as her grandparents tried to soothe her.

"What's going on?" Jessie asked as she approached, kneeling down in front of her as her dad bounced Riley on his knee.

"She just started asking for you both and got upset that you weren't here," he answered.

"Oh, Ri," Jessie said as she picked up her daughter and began to bounce her in her arms. She looked to her dad. "She's probably just tired. I know she had a nap, but it's been a big day." She looked down at Riley and spoke softly, "Are you tired, sweetie?" Riley wailed louder, her little hands bundling Jessie's shirt in their grasps, but as Jessie kissed her forehead her cries tapered. "I know it's been a long day. I understand - I need a break, too," she chuckled. "You've done so well."

Riley sniffled, her little shoulders hitching as her cries ebbed. Jessie signaled to her parents that she'd handle it. She and you took Riley over to a quiet corner of the hall. Jessie sat down, resting Riley in her lap and kissed the top of her head.

"She should really go down for bed," you said as you rubbed her back.

"Her and me both," Jessie said dryly with a smirk. "I'm exhausted." You played with her hair and kissed her cheek.

"And you didn't get a nap," you joked and Jessie gave you a playful sidelong glance. You rest your head on her shoulder. "Are we allowed to leave before the guests?"

"I think that's a bit of a faux pas, but honestly, I'm very tempted," she said as she eyed the room and contemplated the option. She looked down at Riley whose eyes were heavy as the toddler hung onto the precipice of sleep. She then glanced over at you. "I mean, everyone here knows neither you or I are big partiers. And, we have a toddler to look after..."

You chuckled, tucking a strand of Jessie's hair behind her ear. "I mean, your parents are happy to look after Riley and she's supposed to be staying with them again tonight."

"But she wants us," Jessie said with a pointed glance downward at their daughter who was resting very peacefully in her arms now. "Clearly."

You leaned over and kissed Jessie's cheek. "You know? I'm sure everyone will forgive us if we duck out."

------

A short while later, Riley was asleep in the middle of the king size bed in your cabin with Jessie laying next to her in a t-shirt and shorts, you climbing into bed in your pyjamas on the opposite side.

"Is this what you would've pictured for your wedding night years ago?" You teased as you lay propped on your side looking across Riley and over at Jessie who mirrored your position.

"Stone cold sober, party still raging on at the reception, and my toddler fast asleep between me and my new wife?" She asked with a lopsided grin, her head in her hand. "No. But I adore it." You snickered and gently pushed down Riley's rogue curls as she slept.

"Same," you said.

"We have a beautiful family and we're very lucky," Jessie mused as she carefully leaned over to give you a chaste kiss. You smiled into it and laid a hand on your stomach as Jessie pulled back.

"And maybe there'll be four of us soon enough."

A/N: That's all, folks! I can't thank you enough for joining me on this ride. What started as a one-shot I was super nervous to post, has been embraced by so many of you and you've allowed me to create and share this love story with you all. It truly means so much. Thank you!

[letoasai]

dp x dc Chronos part 5

Part 1 - Previous - Master list

Diana was furious. 

She’d known her young uncle for only a handful of hours but here she was, ready to go to war for him. Perhaps that was what her grandfather had meant earlier, his words still ringing in her ears. 

I have a task for you, Diana. One i do not think you will turn now but i’ll give you the illusion of choice.

Perhaps it was less an illusion and more her grandfather merely knowing ahead of time how she would react. If Danny was to be believed – and he did seem such a trustworthy boy – his Clockwork knew every path one could take. 

She knew there were still questions to be asked, but Danny had been able to tell her a great deal before his eyes began to droop and she insisted he try to sleep. The curtains to the room had been left open and she watched as his eyes happily glazed over at the sight of open space before him. It had only taken minutes for him to fall asleep. 

Now she had a lot of work to do and she planned to get as much done while Danny slept as she could. 

She entered the conference room with a quick stride, many members already present for the meeting she had ordered via text. They’d learned that some equipment didn’t work well around Danny. Visuals were blurry at best and audio crackled into something indistinguishable. Diana had instead been texting information to Bruce and Kal to look into while she focused on the boy. 

“Were you able to find anything?” She asked immediately, not elaborating on which fact she was talking about. She’d sent them so many little snippets that she didn’t really care where they started. 

Batman just grunted, and despite wearing his cowl, she could see just how unhappy he was. 

“You’re not going to like it, but you expected that.” Superman said, papers laid out in front of him. He wasn’t the only one doing his research. 

Green Lantern and Flash were still there, the latter looking like he was having an existential crisis over the topic of ghosts. 

Martian Manhunter had also arrived, his frown informing her that the others had caught him up on what had been happening. 

“Can we confirm the truth as Danny has laid it out for us?” She asked, taking a seat. 

“Oh, yeah.” Hal muttered, rubbing a hand down his face. “Constantine will arrive later, but he could confirm the new High King of the Infinite Realm went by Phantom. Never heard him sound so horrified as him learning that someone had punched a hole into another realm in their house though. Inter-dimensional war crimes on our end are stacking up.” 

“Our end?” She asked. 

“The GIW…” Bruce began, sounding a mixture of exhausted and livid. “Are completely out of their depth and did not have the authority to just name a species unidentified to the rest of us as non-sentient. If the Infinite Realm retaliates, and John thinks it’s a possibility, it won’t just be aimed at the GIW alone but the entire dimension. That makes this more of a mess for us to clean up than it already was.” 

They’d already decided to help, that was what they did. But there was a difference in lending a hand and righting a wrong and taking responsibility for someone else’s fuck ups because they had to. 

“Can we prove it?” Diana asked. 

“Absolutely.” Kal nodded. “Honestly, for a government agency, their security is a joke. There was a backdoor already in place. We can ask Danny about that later.”

Diana nodded, certain the information would be good in his hands. She turned her attention back to Bruce. “The Fentons?” 

There was a certain level of disgust that tried to choke her out in that situation. Danny had been so hesitant, the betrayal fresh and painful. She had lived in the World of Men for a long time now and it had as many delights as it did drawbacks, but to learn what Danny’s parents had attempted to do to him left her burning to seek them out herself. 

His mother had lost her privilege to refer to herself as such.

She didn’t care what the circumstances were. Capture and torture with the intentions of vivisection was inexcusable. The target being a child made it all the more heinous. Diana knew Batman would understand without her saying a word. 

“Run of the mill mad scientists. They might have been onto something once when it came to energy but their bias took over. Even if they had been correct about ecto-entities, their language is incredibly inappropriate. No licenced and competent science journal would be associated with that.” He stared at her unhappily. “They’re lunatics. The fact that their children grew up in their home is outrageous.” He hit a button on the remote and a location appeared on the computer screens. 

A bricked house on a street corner, enormous Fenton Works sign taking up most of the front. It was an eyesore, but not as much as the sci-fi looking shuttle sticking out of the roof. The OHSA violations alone should have had the building condemned and there was no way permits had been granted for any of that construction. 

It was a supervillain's dream and not the least bit subtle. It should have been a crime in itself for the town to allow it to remain in a residential area and was shocking that no calls to Child Protective Services had been made. 

Yes, Danny was an exceptional being, but Diana understood now all the likely scenarios where he could have died in that house. Danny had called his death an accident, but she wasn’t so certain about that. “They were the ones to hurt him.” Diana said, hating how her throat was tight. She was already emotionally compromised. 

“Yes, i know.” 

Diana’s attention snapped back to him. “How?” 

“Simple reasoning. They are unstable ghost hunters with questionable science. Danny was removed from his home for his safety. Chronos said he needed a guardian. That doesn’t paint a pretty picture.” Bruce muttered. “Either his guardians couldn’t care for him, or shouldn’t care for him.” 

She felt her shoulders relax somewhat, knowing that such a logical conclusion should have occurred to her too. She really was worried about Danny’s recovery. “We can add it to the file i know you’ve created, but i’d prefer if no one asked him about that at this time. This last attack only happened several days ago and it is still fresh on his mind.” 

Bruce’s eyes narrowed, always a hound when it came to sniffing out abused kids. “This last attack?” 

“They’ve been after him for a while.” Diana hummed, though she’d only had a vague example or two since Danny hadn’t wanted to get into it. She couldn’t imagine how he’d just returned home every day to parents who tried to capture his other persona. 

“We must factor in his identity.” Martian Manhunter approached them, having been listening. J’onn had been doing his own research the last several hours. He laid down a startlingly clear picture of Danny in his white haired ghost form. A print out of an Amity Park newspaper article. 

“What is that?” Bruce frowned, sliding it closer to read. 

“The hero of Amity Park. Phantom. The articles are biased and unfavorable, but that is not the current accepted public opinion. Phantom protects the living from ghosts. He also protects the ghosts from the ghost hunters.” J’onn explained, voice carefully neutral. “Phantom appearing other places, perhaps shouldn’t coincide with where Daniel Fenton ends up.” 

“A name change could be warranted. If that’s what he wants.” Bruce adds. 

J’onn gave a single nod. “It’s a great deal of pressure on one teenager's shoulders. Being a king of a realm on top of that…” 

It was silently agreed upon that Danny deserved this break and Diana was going to get it for him.

“It was only a matter of time before something had to give.” Diana said, turning enough to speak to everyone in the room. “Well he won’t be dealing with all of that alone now. We start with dismantling the GIW, appealing the Anti-Ecto Acts, and smoothing over our relations with the Infinite Realm.” 

“Only that much, huh?” Flash muttered, trying to wrap his head around the science of ghost hunting. 

“Why not get some of the kids involved. Young Justice, maybe?” Hal was rubbing his eyes, not looking forward to the consequences of this mess. “Once he heals it might do him some good to be around others closer to his own age. People he wouldn’t need to hide half of himself from.”

When put like that, Diana could only agree. 

“I’ll mention it to him.” “I’ll get the information i have to Lois.” Clark said, sliding his papers into a binder. “If public opinion of Phantom is already decent in Amity Park, then we’ll up the exposure to put pressure on our oblivious government.” 

“I’ll take a few of the GIW facilities.” Bruce muttered, but he had that familiar tone that said he was about to let his children go buck wild. “A little recon…” he added vaguely. 

Before anyone else could put in their own two cents, the sensors went off, exactly how they had before Chronos had arrived. A paranormal knock of sorts before the very air seemed to split in two, a glowing green portal building around it. 

“Here we go again.” Barry muttered, each of them surrounding the portal as they’d done early for safety’s sake but they were less inclined to fight immediately. 

As J’onn was seeing it for the first time, he remained near Diana, keenly watching the portal manifest. It wasn’t Chronos who stepped out though, it wasn’t human at all. 

From the portal stepped a creature that Diana didn’t have the name for. Bipedal, humanoid, but beast like in appearance. Horns on his head and spikes from his tail made of ice were noticed secondary to his arm of ice that still encased his bones inside. His fur was white, his claws could easily kill and he was covered by a kilt and cape. 

What gave Diana pause as the bag slung over one shoulder, the tell tale signs of a medical cross across the front. 

“Who are you?” Superman asked, more polite than their earlier run in with her grandfather. 

The creature, a ghost presumably, held himself rigid. He was doing a great deal to make himself appear smaller then he was but his gaze was assessing. He was ready to fight if necessary. 

“I am here for His Majesty, the Great One.” Was his response. 

Diana stepped forward, deciding this was exactly what she suspected. “I am Diana. Granddaughter of Chronos who Danny fondly calls Clockwork. You are Frostbite, come to check on Danny, yes?” 

All of his attention was on her now, but he seemed to see what he wanted in her after locking eyes. “I am. Frostbite, Ruler of the Infinite Realm’s Far Frozen. I have come to see Our Savior the King, as his primary physician.”

“He’s a doctor.” Flash whispered. 

“Fascinating.” J’onn muttered, sounding a little winded by whatever he was sensing. “He is who he claims.” 

“I’m relieved.” Diana muttered, approaching him with a smile this time. ��Please come with me and i will take you to Danny. I’m afraid we did what we could but his unique biology left us questioning our choices. He is resting in a private room.” 

“Did something happen to setback his recovery?” Frostbite asked, serious over the care of his charge as he followed Wonder Woman out of the conference room without so much as a glance back at the other heros. 

“Excitement, i believe.” Diana offered. “He may have been a little too excited to show off his alternate, living form and seemed to forget his condition.” 

Frostbite actually snorted. “Sounds like him.”

“I did not realize how badly wounded he was. We had been talking about our arrangements and he was answering my questions about ghosts. He appeared sore, but fairly pleased to speak with me. Given what he had just been through…” 

Frostbite grunted his agreement. “His heart is soft, but his will is unlike anything i have ever known. Many of us saw this tragedy coming, but he insisted on seeing it out for himself, hoping for a favorable ending.” 

Diana cracked her knuckles out of habit, that anger still simmering. “He will be safe in my care, i assure you.”

“The Great One is the rightful King to our realm, but many forget he is still just a child.” Frostbite said, eyeing her even as she led him through the Watchtower. 

“It is not something i am likely to forget.” Not after she’d seen how small he was in their medbay bed. “He’s resting but weak, you can help?” 

“As long as he has not taken more damage, i’m sure i can.” Frostbite said, a gentleness to his voice as they stopped at Danny’s room. Diana went in first to prove the area was a safe one but that may not have mattered given how quickly Frostbite followed her. 

He was at Danny’s bedside in an instant, having somehow moved passed her without knocking into her. He could have gone through her for all she knew. For all he seemed to be a hulking beast, Frostbite was nothing but gentle as he examined Danny. He looked over any and all work that had been done to Danny since his arrival, and checked the bandages across his torso. He went as far as to grab the clipboard on the foot of Danny’s bed to read, having no trouble understanding the medical jargon. 

From his medical bag, he pulled out several small bottles, all of them growing a toxic green. Injections were given to the teenager, and it didn’t seem to matter that he was in his living, dark haired form. 

“Has he explained to you what it means to be a halfa?” Frostbite finally asked, breaking the silence. 

“Only in vague, teenager terms.” Diana said. She’d been quite sure that Danny’s flippant attitude was more a coping mechanism than anything.

Frostbite just hummed. “Then i will have to fill you in.”

[meo-eiru]

hi dear, I'm not sure if ur ask box is already open, sorry if it isn't, please take your time and stay healthy

soo I've been thinking about that whole concept of delulu elf babying us and BOY isn't that depressing?? like I'd have a whole ass existential crisis after some time

I mean in my perspective, it must be pretty humiliating for a grown person to be not be taken seriously to such extent. like our boy doesn't even trust us to leave the house and is convinced that his darling needs his absolute protection. no personal space, little to no social interactions except for him, etc.

ANND the worst part is that Silas doesn't even realize that he's doing something wrong, unlike classic yanderes. in his head, he's only doing what's best for darling, without any ill intentions (man's head is filled with unicorns and rainbows). in a way, he's the child here; one that accidentally breaks a kitten's paw because they hugged it too tight.

so can you really blame him? can you really bring yourself to hate him? even if you're upset at him for taking away your basic human rights, he's only trying his best for you!! even if his concept of that "best" is a bit twisted. it's a whole ass internal conflict for darling we have here!

and like, I'm a pretty empathetic person, so I'd hate to see him cry. I'd hate myself if I ever snapped at him (he should only cry from pleasure uh huh). so the only choice I have is to slowly convince Silas to change, but can that really work? what if I'd have to spend a millenia like this, slowly dying on the inside?

that's kind of a hilarious concept for me, like, he's the mama here, but you have to sit him down and patiently explain how your body works, to not die because of overfeeding or smth like that

you created a masterpiece, my brainworms are brainworming so hard rn. I also have some interesting thoughts abt Elias ^^

(DESPAIR!! SUFFERINGS!! ok I'm sorry I still want to squeeze his booba like a stress ball)

I love this ask a lot because that's exactly the vibe I was going for with him.

It's very contradicting. On one hand his mothering is appealing because someone taking care of you with such genuine love is... nice. No matter how you act, no matter what tricks you pull, Silas will forever and ever love you with all his heart. You are his precious flower and he has so much affection for you. He can heal you, he can keep you fed, he can give you the love no one else can.

But at the end of the day that love will be the thing that ruins you. The fundamental difference between you two's existence, how you two view life and each other is just too much. While Silas can take care of your basic needs and give you love, him being so unable to fully understand you and your capabilities can and will eventually break you.

Silas is nice but he isn't. Silas can keep you healthy but also can't. He thinks he's sufficient for you but he just isn't.

He's beautiful and lives in a bright world full of colors but will be the one who'll strip your world of color.

You'll slowly change as he continues to suffocate you with affection.

And he will do all of it with genuine love and good intent in his heart.

Which is what makes him so contradicting. He's like your doom wrapped in cute packaging and presented to you by someone who loves you. He's a poison turned into a warm homecooked meal.

[actuallyjustabiscuit]

More of my favorite Rags and Zoob moments in that one scene of Fast Food Masquerade

Zooble gently making Ragatha actually do some work

God, she almost looks like she’s pleading with her here

“Hey, Gangle’s clearly going through it right now. So just…help me help you to help her, yeah?”

“Oh, hellooooo~*”

Someone get this woman to a meeting

“Hehe, cozy~*”

She’s imagining the buns are Pomni

Ok but can we talk about how even while high off her ass, Ragatha still managed to pull herself together enough to actually help clean up and move shit around.

And like that’s the craziest thing, they don’t have to do any of this. They don’t have to get clean and prep for the next day because there is no next day at Spudsy’s.

Yet here they are working diligently to clean and prep their work station as if there’ll be some real consequence if they don’t.

And sure, they might be worried about Caine punishing them but realistically what’s he gonna do? Cut their hours? Dock their pay? In the end it really didn’t matter cuz he gave them all a passing grade (except Kinger cuz he’s built different). Their efforts really don’t count for much.

Talk about immersive

Zooble looks so concerned here. I wonder if they tried saying goodnight only to be given the same silent thousand yard stare that Gangle’s been doing the entire hour. I bet they would’ve stuck around even longer to make sure she’s ok, but unfortunately had their hands full already.

Meanwhile Rags has gone full rag doll

“Awww, just ask her out already Zooby, ya big lug~*”

And so the soft grunch and the drunk dolly officially end their shift

Another day, another existential crisis

[fataldrum]

Dorian Gray is queer art, period.

Apparently Netflix has decided to make an adaption of The Picture of Dorian Gray with Dorian and Basil as siblings. Unless they're planning to go the gothic horror incest route, they've completely missed the point of the relationship between these characters.

If you haven't read the book, Basil is a painter who becomes infatuated with a beautiful young man, pouring his feelings into a painting. Dorian becomes jealous of the painting's beauty, realizing that he will never be as young and unspoiled as the version of himself on the canvas. He finds himself wishing that the painting could age instead of him. His wish is granted, allowing him to stay young and beautiful until the end, with his moral and spiritual decline reflected only in the painting.

I cannot overstate how queer this book is. Dorian is so beautiful that their first meeting inspires a wave of existential terror in Basil. Dorian changes Basil's entire understanding of art and beauty. This book is so queer it was used as evidence at Wilde's sodomy trial.

The existence of the portrait itself is tantamount to a confession of queer desire. Basil tells his friend, Lord Henry, that he can't exhibit the painting because "I have put too much of myself into it.”

Lord Henry (who will later lead Dorian into a life of vice) laughs, but Basil explains:

“[E]very portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter. [...] It is not he who is revealed by the painter; it is rather the painter who, on the coloured canvas, reveals himself. The reason I will not exhibit this picture is that I am afraid that I have shown in it the secret of my own soul.”

This is how he describes meeting Dorian:

When our eyes met, I felt that I was growing pale. A curious sensation of terror came over me. I knew that I had come face to face with some one whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if I allowed it to do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very art itself. [...] I have always been my own master; had at least always been so, till I met Dorian Gray. Then—but I don’t know how to explain it to you. Something seemed to tell me that I was on the verge of a terrible crisis in my life. I had a strange feeling that fate had in store for me exquisite joys and exquisite sorrows. I grew afraid and turned to quit the room. It was not conscience that made me do so: it was a sort of cowardice. I take no credit to myself for trying to escape.”

Notice that turn of phrase--it was not conscience but cowardice that made him attempt to flee. Why would conscience factor into his decision? Because he felt shame at his reaction to Dorian's perfect, beautiful face.

Lord Henry is shocked to discover Basil cares for something besides his art.

“He is all my art to me now,” said the painter gravely. “I sometimes think, Harry, that there are only two eras of any importance in the world’s history. The first is the appearance of a new medium for art, and the second is the appearance of a new personality for art also. What the invention of oil-painting was to the Venetians, the face of Antinous was to late Greek sculpture, and the face of Dorian Gray will some day be to me.

Basil goes on to confess, "I see everything in him. He is never more present in my work than when no image of him is there."

Lord Henry still doesn't understand why there is too much of Basil in the painting, so Basil explains:

“Because, without intending it, I have put into it some expression of all this curious artistic idolatry, of which, of course, I have never cared to speak to him. He knows nothing about it. He shall never know anything about it. But the world might guess it, and I will not bare my soul to their shallow prying eyes. My heart shall never be put under their microscope. There is too much of myself in the thing, Harry—too much of myself!”

Lord Henry asks how Dorian feels about Basil, and his response is absolutely tragic.

The painter considered for a few moments. “He likes me,” he answered after a pause; “I know he likes me. Of course I flatter him dreadfully. I find a strange pleasure in saying things to him that I know I shall be sorry for having said. As a rule, he is charming to me, and we sit in the studio and talk of a thousand things. Now and then, however, he is horribly thoughtless, and seems to take a real delight in giving me pain. Then I feel, Harry, that I have given away my whole soul to some one who treats it as if it were a flower to put in his coat, a bit of decoration to charm his vanity, an ornament for a summer’s day.”

Any adaptation that ignores the way Dorian's existence and beauty utterly destroyed Basil is doomed to be shallow and insipid. This is not just a book about a magic painting. It's a monument to queer longing.

[gaybananabread]

✦༻Spoilers༺✦

~This has been in the back of my mind since the movie came out; the time has come. I’m making progress with TickleTober, so enjoy this meal in the meantime! There’s probably more than a hint of shipping in here, but you don’t have to read it like that if you don’t want to. I hope you Enjoy!~

Lee: Wade Wilson

Ler: Logan Howlett

Summary: Logan is struggling to get used to living with Wade; he has a limit for Wade’s bullshit. The merc loves pushing him to that limit regularly. Logan uses an unconventional method to shut his smartass roommate up.

Warnings: canon-typical language and jokes, spoilers for Deadpool & Wolverine and Golden Girls (you’ll see). This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

I’ve finally done it: the ultimate team-up turned homo-erotic-roommates-story. And, ya know, saving my entire timeline; mainly the Logan stuff, though.

Wade had been incredibly happy since they’d saved the existence of his timeline. He was showering regularly, disposed of that horrid “toupee,” and started actually talking to the people in his life about how he felt. It kinda sucked, but hey – character development isn’t always sexy.

Things were going splendidly for the merc with a mouth.

Logan, on the other hand, was slowly going insane.

The Wolverine was grateful for the place to stay, of course; hell, he felt more at home than he had in years. The problem was how…Wade Wade had been acting.

Logan secretly admired how openly true to himself Wade could be; I mean, the guy literally said whatever came to his mind, no matter what. Then again, the guy literally said whatever came to his mind. No matter what.

Even if that thought completely spoiled something for Logan.

“Hey, Peanut! As much as I love that juicy ass, I’m gonna need you to get outta my spot.” Wade flicked his wrist at the eX-Man, beckoning for him to get up. Logan had been there for about twenty minutes, and there was no way he was moving; the episode of Golden Girls he was watching wasn’t finished yet. The man rarely got time to rest like that, savoring every half hour he got with the television like it was holy.

“I’ve been here, bub. Wait your turn.” Logan didn’t even blink, leaning to the side so he could still see the screen. He was gonna finish that episode, damn it.

“Ooo, is that ‘End of the Curse’?” Wade hums, taking a closer look at the screen. Logan wasn’t very far into the episode. “Turns out it’s just menopause, not pregnancy. Man, nothing wakes you up like an existential crisis and skinned minks.”

A low growl rumbled in Logan’s throat, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Ooooo, Wade fucked uuup…

“Did you just spoil the ending to my Golden Girls episode?” The livid tone of his roommate’s voice made Wade’s smile grow nervous.

It’s cool, it’s fine. All I gotta do is nail this recovery. Read and learn, people.

“At least I didn’t tell you that the whole Rose and Miles Webber thing doesn’t work out.”

Fuck. This is why you don’t stare at your roommate’s moobs while trying to save yourself, kids.

“You motherf- WADE !” Logan bolted up from his chair, charging at the blemish-skinned man. Wade made his first smart decision that entire morning:

He ran for his fucking life.

But, of course, luck refused to be on the red-suited man’s side. Wade tripped over one of Mary Puppin’s toys outside his room, Logan’s large hands quickly hoisting him up by the waist. Before he could fantasize anything, he was slammed down on his bed. Which, of course, opened up a whole new realm to dig his own grave in.

“Damn, Peanut! It’s customary to take me to dinner first, but you know I don’t mind gettin’ sloppy~” Okay, that was a little cliché. Wasted opportunity, Wilson.

Logan seemed pissed regardless. “You fucking ruined the one relaxing thing I get to do a week when Al’s out. Do you know how hard it is to enjoy a show when you know what’s gonna happen?!”

As entertaining as seeing Wade squirm beneath him was, Logan wanted revenge. He normally would’ve skewered the smartass, but Al was getting sick of smelling Wade’s blood whenever she left for a few hours. That, and he may or may not have gotten some blood on the couch (don’t tell her).

What else could he do? He wanted Wade to suffer, to regret his actions, to shut up for one in his god-forsaken existence. The only times he could remember that happened was when he was asleep, and when he was…oh. Ohoho, fuck yes.

“You’re gonna learn to shut that gaping, bottomless shithole you call a mouth, Wade, and you’re gonna learn it the hard way.”

“I do everything the hard way, Peanu- yeEEAHAHA! THEHE FUHAHAHACK?!” Before Wade could finish proving Logan’s point yet again, he felt ten muscular fingers knead into his thighs. It was – ironic, he knew – his death spot.

Now, imagine trying to explain why you’re smiling so much when someone’s grabbing at your thighs without stuttering. Spoiler alert: it’s torture.

“You can’t mouth off if you’re too busy laughing, fuckhead. Now shut up and scream for me.” Logan squeezed and squished at the merc's thighs, doing his best to tickle the shit out of him.

“Y-YOUHU CAHAN'T- FUHUHUHUCK! NOHOHO!” Wade tried and failed to speak through his laughter, his head reeling from the intense feeling. For the first time in many moons, the Merc with a Mouth was rendered speechless.

“I can’t fuck? Really? Bold ass statement to make when you’re at my mercy.” Logan’s more playful side was slipping out; how could it not with Wade’s goofy-ass laughter egging him on? Seriously, how could anyone expect him to act like a hard-ass with the man making such purposefully adorable noises?

“NOHOHOT WHAHAHAT IHI MEHEHEANT!” Kicking and squirming, the scarred man was quickly realizing he couldn’t talk his way out of the situation. They were matched in strength, but the tickling quickly un-evened the playing field. Maybe pleading for his life?

“COHOHOME OHOHON! I-IHI’LL QUIHIHIT!”

Logan paused for just a moment, his hands still resting on Wade’s hips. He was…actually gonna stop being a loudmouth? While he didn’t believe a word of that, he still wanted to take things a bit easier on the man; damn feelings…

Slowing down, the Wolverine moved his wiggling fingers to Wade’s stomach. Compared to his thighs, it was a decently tolerable spot; still, it fucking tickled.

“Wohoholvie, thihis is nuhuhuts! Ahand not thehe hohot kihihind!” Okay, maybe he immediately proved himself a liar, but Logan didn’t exactly quit! He was sort of justified, in that sense.

“You never learn, do ya?” There’s an air of amusement and affection in his voice that shocks the both of them. Logan immediately tries to correct it, clearing his throat with a glare. “Stubborn asshole. It’s a bad idea to taunt me when you’re this fucking ticklish.”

“Th-thihihis ihihisn’t fahahahair! Youhuhu’re thehe Tumblr bahahabygirl, nohot mehehe! Youhu shouhuhuld be gehehtting ihit!”

“The fuck is a Tumblr babygirl?” Logan snorted at the silly-sounding words, once again trying to figure out what the hell his roommate was talking about.

“Thehehey knohohow!” Wade pointed towards some unseeable audience, making the hairy man roll his eyes. He seriously needed to get Wade tested for something; it would probably explain so much.

“Do you want me to go back to your thighs?” Logan jerked his hands down threateningly, reveling in the squeal the motion causes. He didn’t even touch the other man that time; it was kinda cute.

“NOOOHOhohooo! Dihickhead!” Without thinking, Wade thrusted his arms out and shoved at Logan’s shoulders. Obviously, the brick wall of a man didn’t move, but his attention was drawn to a specific nuisance: the merc’s arms. Specifically, the fact that he hadn’t explored beneath them yet.

Gathering the mouthy man’s wrists in one hand, Logan forced Wade’s arms up and pinned them to the mattress. Once again, Wade was faced with a tough decision: smart off and completely fuck himself, or grovel and hope for some mercy.

Eh, smart choices are plot killers. This one’s for you, dear reader.

“Y-youhuhu’re really ehembracing your dark side, Peanut~ Next thing ya knowhow, I’m gonna be getting fitted for thohose fuzzy cuffs and a harn- FFFAAHAHAHAAA! OHO- OHOHOKAHAHAY! IHI’M SOHOHORRY! IHIT WAS THEHEHERE!”

Logan showed zero mercy, digging into Wade’s underarm with renewed vigor. He switched back and forth every few seconds, right to left, wrecking the man as thoroughly as possible. The man’s thighs were definitely still his death spot, but his armpits were a close second.

“You don’t act like you’re sorry, ya shithead.” There was a lot less contempt in Logan’s tone than Wade was expecting; he couldn’t exactly comment on it, but the Wolverine seemed almost happy that he had chosen to prolong his torment by being a smartass.

Wade, on the other hand, was going through it; a vibrant blush had taken residence on his cheeks, little tears of mirth showing up for the housewarming party. Worst of all, his exhaustion forced his muscles to relax, allowing snorts to catch in his throat.

“Damn, Wilson. Goin’ hog wild down there, huh?” Wade’s heart would’ve stopped right then if it were possible. Logan “Go Fuck Yourself” Howlett…made a dad joke?!

“Y-YOUHUHU MAHAHDE A JOHOHOHOKE! IHI’M SOHOHO PROUHUHUD!”

“Fuckin’ Christ, just shut up already!” Embarrassed from both the acknowledgement and praise, Logan dug back into Wade’s thigh to silence him; well, keep him from talking by means of hysterical laughter.

About two minutes into getting his thighs attacked by the kitty man, Wade was rethinking all his life choices that led him there. I mean, he obviously wouldn’t do anything different if he actually had the chance to, but there were some regrets. His laugh was growing raspy, a few wheezes slipping in with the snorts as he struggled to catch his breath.

Logan noticed how tired Wade was getting almost instantly. The man hadn’t smarted off in a hot second, so he figured it was time to stop; definitely not because he was taking it easy on Wade or something stupid like that…

The moment the tickles stopped, Wade drew in deep, giggle-ridden breaths as he tried to calm down. He barely noticed his wrists’ release, too tired to lower his arms anyway. It was, admittedly, an utterly adorable sight.

Noticing he was still literally straddling the anti-hero, Logan climbed off and went to grab Wade some water. When he got back to the bedroom, the merc had curled up on his side, a blanket hap-hazardly tugged over him. The eX-man rolled his eyes at the sight, turning the man to face him.

“Here, drink this.”

Despite sticking his tongue out, Wade greedily gulped down the water. His textured cheeks were still a healthy red from the tickling, the ice water both soothing his throat and cooling him off.

“Thanks, Kitty.”

“Just take a nap or somethin’, bub.” Rolling his eyes at the statement, Logan turned and trudged out of the room; neither missed the light blush on his cheeks from the nickname.

Wade settled back into his bed, sighing at the ceiling. Despite everything, he was actually going to try and improve on his spoiling restraint; he kinda deserved what came to him, even if it was totally overkill.

As for the tickling…well, it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Logan could’ve cut his vocal chords or sliced his head off in the tub, but he didn’t; the man just did something silly and lighthearted to drill the lesson into his brain. It was curious, in a sense; why would he choose to be lenient with the loudmouth?

It definitely deserved some looking at, to say the least.

Maybe I’ll insult his mutton chops tomorrow. Ya know, for research purposes…

[baeshijima]

u know what would be a cool genshin fic idea? isekai/transmigrated reader, but instead of appearing within the general timeline, you come into the genshin world 500 years prior to the start of the storyline in khaenri'ah.

honestly it could be either a little before the cataclysm, giving enough time to delve into some relationship building + explore some world building with characters like dainsleif, traveller's sibling (which would probably be lumine bc i actually do like her as abyss sibling & aether as traveller), and npcs like halfdan (still crying over him to this day ;w;) and possibly the khaenri'ahn royal guards (assuming you either join them or have a good enough relationship with them), OR it could be you appear during the crisis, completely and utterly lost as to why you were brought amidst the chaos and bloodshed as you watch everything you barely knew about this nation crumble before your very eyes.

either route will still result in reader's existential crises and constant "why am i here? just to suffer?" monologues because really, who would be fine after going through that after coming from /our/ world? and not to mention you've had to endure the next 500 years wandering with no real set path because you don't know this world— this era of teyvat or of genshin. you're merely stuck, unable to die, and forced to live a life of uncertainty with no clear direction for you to go to.

despite it all, you've at least been able to see dain during this course. while your meetings pass far too quickly for your lonesome, and his solemn demeanour is something you're yet to be accustomed to after having been with him before the fall of khaenri'ah (assuming it's the route where you appear before the cataclysm), you're glad to see a familiar face every now and then. after the messy departure with the lumine who left for the abyss order, you've come to appreciate his quiet presence more and more each time.

and then you decide it might be time to settle. you soon realise it's difficult to do so when your lifespan has become far more than that of a human's — of a mortal's — and so you find yourself becoming used to staying in one place for a few years before setting off for the next. rinse and repeat. over and over. it's come to a point where you've witnessed the nations undergo various changes each time you visit. you know change is inevitable, and yet your heart stings each time you witness it; a testament to how the world is ever-changing, yet you're stuck in place as a bystander.

one thing you're grateful for, however, are the bonds you've established amid your back-and-forth over the centuries. from archons like zhongli and venti to long-life beings such as neuvillette and the adepti to regular mortals who have showed you kindness as if one of their own... you've grown to cherish those memories, often reminiscing them when the nights get too long and surroundings too quiet. it was difficult at first, and still is, but you've become used to the inevitable change and the passing of those you once knew.

and after 500 years, you find yourself face-to-face with one you haven't seen since before you appeared in this world; the protagonist of this world, and the one you eventually join in hopes of finally finding a means to an end, aether.

little side notes/extras:

from /our/ world, you would probably know the storyline from up to around current (5.0) or maybe a little after the fontaine aq conclusion. it gives a lot to work with, but you definitely won't remember a lot of the lore after so long other than some main events, especially since most of your knowledge is pretty irrelevant for the next 500 years,,,

i think it would be cool if you had an inteyvat on your person as a little homage of khaenri'ah, which may or may not invoke some opinions from certain characters (*cough* aether immediately being reminded of lumine and having an existential crisis *cough*)

post-cataclysm you would go through a, uhm, long phase of helplessness, wondering why you were even brought to this world so far back if you couldn't even make any contributions. it does eventually morph into a resolution to do what you can to help those you come across if it's within your capabilities, but the nightmares and helplessness come back every now and then as a reminder for what you can't do :D yippee :D

honestly i'm on the fence whether you would have a vision or some other type of abilities (think on the similar lines of aether/lumine's and dain's), but i think having some type of purification mechanic would be a must in your arsenal !! would definitely lead to some moments between you and characters like dain or zhongli who suffer from the erosion as you give them a slight reprieve from what rages within and corrodes them

a little self indulgent, but i'd like to think your first /proper/ meeting with zhongli happens during a lantern rite festival, wherein you're admiring the lanterns in the sky after making a wish of your own and he comes up from behind with "they're beautiful, wouldn't you say so?" and !!

also as for love interests, as much as i would love for human/mortal characters, a part of me feels like this story would be better suited for the immortal/long-life characters as love interests?? idk i feel like considering that 500 years is, well, a long time, the bonds you would have with them compared to characters like, say, alhaitham or diluc would be way too different ?? though i would definitely still add them as love interest bc i am a sucker for so many of the human characters ;w; it would also add to the angst and hurt/comfort ahahha...

anyway thank you for reading this massive brain dump of a fic bc i absolutely would put this as a long term project, and if u made it this far then i would like to say that dain solos—

[bengiyo]

Random QL Superlatives: 2024 Edition

It seems @lurkingshan has begun the end of year listicle game. Time to shout out our faves.

Presented (mostly) in the order I watched them.

Favorite Blorbo of the Year: Dynamite in Cooking Crush

I love when a show reveals that someone who has been upbeat or strong is actually carrying a ton of pain. Learning about how Dynamite suffered so much because of his family touched me to my core, and forever solidified the friendship he has with Samsee and Prem.

Favorite Use of Visual Comedy: I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama

This show really had everything, and more than anything it had some of the best visual gags of the year. There is so much humor in the framing of scenes in this show. It was a genuine delight, and I'm so happy I'll get to see Aoyanagi Hajime again next year.

Favorite Facial Hair: Gu Jing in VIP Only

This show ended up rather flat, but damn do I think about this man's face sometimes.

Favorite Disappointment: Last Twilight

This show really could have been great if it didn't fuck up so badly.

Favorite Existential Crisis: Love For Love's Sake

The way this show telegraphed that it would be heavy, and then still managed to gut the audience, is one of the most impressive things I got to witness this year. I love that this show left people with so many different interpretations that don't contradict each other.

Favorite Use of Omegaverse: Tadaima, Okaeri

Yes, there were two BL omegaverse shows this year. No, I did not enjoy the other one. I was instead overinvested in the success of my gay dads and their kids every week. HIKARU IS OUR HERO!

Favorite Use of Food: She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat 2

I love this show with my whole being. If the Japanese don't figure out a way to get this cast to crossover with What Did You Eat Yesterday? honestly what is even the point of putting queer people on TV?

Favorite Reunion Romance: Perfect Propose

I really loved that this show was about two childhood friends both at the end of their ropes. I also loved the way this show used a questionable sexual encounter to jumpstart the dynamic. I'm so glad Hirokuni quit that nasty job, because this was so difficult to watch after having left a very difficult workplace.

Favorite Cast Dynamics: Ossan's Love Returns

"We are family!" In their 3rd or 4th outing, depending on how you want to look at it, I continue to be obsessed with Haruta, Kurosawa, Maki, and their extended network. I loved seeing Haruta and Maki working on their relationship, and I loved seeing them all grapple with the changes in their lives. I hope I never have to fight my in-laws in my kitchen.

Favorite Version of Tay Tawan: Cherry Magic Thailand

Tay Tawan was at his most charming as Karan. I'm so glad that Tay and New are able to work together again.

Favorite Version of Cherry Magic: The Cherry Magic Anime

Despite my opinion that Cherry Magic TH is the best version of Cherry Magic, I still think the anime is my favorite. The characters have an ugliness to them in this version that I really love.

Favorite Use of Yukata: Love is Better the Second Time Around

Despite my qualms with the final arc of this show, I still think about the way this show handled its second chance romance and especially the way it handled sex. Also, this show has a great visual gag in a woman who doesn't deserve this physically restraining a man from proposing to her.

Favorite Performances: The Cast of Unknown

I really think this is my favorite cast of the year. I really loved the way they all played together, and loved the handling of growing up in this show.

Favorite Use of a Mirror: Memory in the Letter

To be clear, I do not recommend this show. However, I was very impressed with all of the acting and technical work around the mirror in this show.

Favorite Show About Actors: At 25:00 in Akasaka

I really loved the way Niihara and Komagine played actors in this show. It's rare that a character withholding the truth of their feelings works out this well. This is one of the best things I watched this year.

Favorite Boy: Igarashi Daichi from Ossan no Pants ga Nandatte Ii Janai ka!

Not BL, but I love Daichi so much that he gets a shout out here. I love that he wasn't a manic pixie dream gay, that he was allowed to be angry, and that he was allowed to be imperfect. Daichi is now forever a part of my soul.

Favorite Rambutan Enjoyer: Venice in Marahuyo Project

Venice is so funny to me. I love that she's not the brightest one in the group, but she understands everything important. She protects Archie because she understands how hurt and scared he is. She accepts everyone who joins their group unquestioningly. She is eating in almost every scene. She is perfect.

Favorite Flirt: Vee in San's Dreams in Century of Love

I think we should let Offroad flirt with Daou more in future shows.

Favorite Narrative: Knock Knock, Boys!

This is favorite show from Thailand this year. I loved the use of every story in this show. The kindness pouring out of this show was really something special. I loved that this show never made fun of Almond for being a version, let Latte have positive relationships with his exes, let Thanwa dress like a normie, and treated Peak's closeted storyline with immense respect. I look forward to showing it to many more people.

Favorite Back: Mahasamut in Love Sea

I loved the way Fort played this man, and I love that we got another BL romantic lead that doesn't look dehydrated. More romantic leads should get to deck abusive fathers in BL.

Favorite Collector of Marbles: Takara in Takara no Vidro

A rare version of the Knowing blessed us this year in Takara. He was overwhelmed by Taishin's naivete, and I really loved seeing a character who absolutely knew who he was. I loved watching a character manage obsessive tendencies, and I loved how he spent much of the show holding back because he was afraid of himself. What a blessing these two were.

Favorite Use of a Workplace: The Trainee

I really loved that GMMTV used one of their best production houses to tell a story about interns in a production house. It was genuinely refreshing to see a workplace show from Thailand where everyone involved understood the work they were portraying. This was a really solid ensemble piece.

Favorite Homo: Shion in Twilight Out of Focus

I love this pink-haired boy. He was loud and competent. He was clear in what he wanted. He said plainly that he wanted a boyfriend, and HE WON. For everyone who got called slurs in their youth, Shion is for you.

Favorite Second Chance: Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo

Hwang Da Seul was determined to get it right this time, and boy did she! This show did a wonderful job establishing the teen romance, justifying its separation, and earning its reunion. Best BL of the year.

Favorite Adaptation: Love in the Big City

Also not BL technically, but there's no way we make a list of shows form this year without acknowledging Nam Yoon Su's incredible performance as Go Yeong and the efforts of literally everyone involved in this show. If there's one show you need to watch this year, it's this one.

Favorite Angry Outburst: Qi Lu in Blue Canvas of Youthful Days

I loved the way Qi Lu got mad about Qian Xiao holding back with him. It's the most I've enjoyed a character being wrong this year. It was the exact right response for a character like him. He knew who he was, what he was feeling, and that Qian Xiao was feeling it, too.

Favorite Cross-Cultural Exchange: Love in the Air: Koi no Yokon

We've had more than a few Thai adaptations of Japanese works. This is the first time MAME work crossed over to Japan, and it's been so cool seeing how much the Japanese team really loves Love in the Air. I feel no competition between the two adaptations of this novel, because it's clear that the Japanese show is a huge fan of the Thai show. It makes so many loving homages to the source work that it's clear this is a passion project for many people involved. It's so cool that we're now seeing Japan adapt Thai works, and I'm so excited to see where this takes us next.

Well, this was fun! Tag me with your list if you make one!

[sonotpattismith]

my blues for my brain (megumi fushiguro x reader)

word count: 8.7k inspired by: fate by grey reverend content: angst, fluff, mentions of car accidents, hospitals, invisible string theory, me pretending gojo is still alive for my mental health

“Please don’t leave me here.”

These words were ones all too familiar to you, in an all too familiar scenario. The difference was, it wasn’t you clinging to life with blood soaked skin. Instead, it was the strange boy that had just raced out of the over-priced cafe that you worked at to make a dime during your summer semesters. 

You could recall the exact, desperate words falling from your own lips as a good samaritan crouched in front of you just a few years back, your fingertips just a hair away from death’s door. In an act that would serve to veer you off any sense of understanding for your purpose in life, that person didn’t leave you to die, despite the chaos that was ensuing around him. When you woke, you had more questions that filled your prayers than thanks. 

Why did you live if others had died the same fate that was allotted to your own life? There was meaning to everything that happened in one’s life— at least that’s what everyone told you when you woke in your hospital bed. What was the meaning of this though? Were you meant to find a new purpose in your life; was this meant to steer you in the right path? If so, why did you end up working a minimum wage job as you scraped up enough money for a college education you still had little to no clue what you wanted to do with yet? 

Up until that day, as the pale stranger’s desperate grip on your hand slowly weakened with his waning consciousness, you were sure you had failed whatever god saved you all those years ago. As the man before you opened his eyes for the briefest of moments to beg for your mercy, you thought meaning had finally found you. 

“You’d think for a café in the middle of one of the busiest streets in Tokyo that there would be a little more excitement in here every once and a while.” Your coworker droned as she stared at the front door, which hadn’t opened in exactly forty-one minutes. Who was counting though? 

You shouldered into her with a half-hearted smile as you made yourself a mid-shift drink. Today’s choice happened to be a matcha latte, though you often switched it up for the sake of having something new to look forward to everyday. Peering back at her and then toward the hustle and bustle just outside the shop, you sighed dejectedly. What meaning did standing behind this counter for hours a day have? Perhaps you should be enjoying the life that was granted back to you so fortunately, you thought as you trailed an absentminded finger down the scar that ran down your arm. 

Snapping from your haze, you offered her the most encouraging smile you could muster in the midst of your perpetual existential crisis. 

“Staring at the door isn’t going to make customers appear.” You scolded, and she peered over at you with a bored glare, to which you chuckled lightly. “Quick, pick a syrup, and we’ll put it in my matcha to see if we’re horrible at our jobs or not.”

At this, an amused smile stretched across her face, and she quickly straightened up to look over the options. As you two bickered over which of you had more abysmal taste than the other, the rare chime of the front door interrupted your concocting session. The both of you snapped up like dogs who just heard their food bowl rattle in the next room. 

Appearing slightly out of breath and frantic, a man stepped into the café. There was a determination in his step as he rushed over to the register and rested his hand atop the counter to lean in with purpose. There were prominent, pink scars lining his face, so large in size and quantity that you wondered what kind of trouble someone seemingly your age could have gotten himself into already. Forgoing your growing curiosity, you mustered up a welcoming smile. 

“Welcome! Can I get—”

“Did you see anything strange passing around here just a second ago?” The two of you spoke at the same time, but he paid no mind to your cut-off question as he stared expectantly at you. 

Your mouth slowly shut, brows furrowing in the process as you tried to recall anything that had happened in the last five minutes, but the only memories that surfaced were you trying to decide between lavender or hazelnut syrup. 

“Maybe we have, but we reserve the right to withhold answers for paying customers, actually.” Your coworker chimed in with a mischievous smile, clearly just desperate for any business on this slower-than-usual day. The raven-haired man sighed indignantly.

“This is serious—”

“So is our no loitering policy.” You had to repress a tickled smile at her persistence. She smiled triumphantly as he grumbled and frantically fished a few spare yen from his pockets and slammed them on the table. 

“A black coffee!” He growled his order at her before returning his attention to you, a scowl set deeply on his already intimidating face. Beside you, your coworker mumbled something in reference to his boring order before working to prepare it. “Now what did you see?”

You almost felt bad after the fact, that you could only pathetically shake your head at his question. 

“I’m sorry, I really haven’t seen anything. What are you looking—”

A frustrated grunt from the disgruntled man cut you off, and before you knew it he was storming out of the café. An amused scoff escaped you as you watched him leave, and your coworker leaned against the counter beside you.

“Just our luck— we ask for entertainment, and we get crazy.” She commented with a shake of her head. “He left his coffee, too.”

This made you tear your gaze from the door to the lidded, brown cup she set down on the counter. His yen were still sat messily before you, and you suddenly felt bad for having coerced him into buying something. Peering out to see him speaking to a few pedestrians just outside the shop, you grasped the cup and exited your post behind the register. 

“Hey!” You called out, ignoring your coworker’s questioning as you poked your head out the door. Sighing when he appeared too preoccupied to notice your calls, you prepared to try one more time as he continued his frantic trek through the bustling city. “You forgot your—”

The blaring sound of a truck’s horn sliced through your attempted good deed of the day, and you could only watch in stone-cold horror as the offending vehicle slammed into your distracted customer. His uniform-clad body jolted across the street with a velocity you had trouble keeping up with. Your eyes wouldn’t allow you to stop following the movements no matter how hard you tried though. The steaming cup in your hands slipped from your trembling fingers before splattering across the ground in tandem with the stranger’s blood across the street. 

Vehicle’s horns were blaring behind the truck that had come to a screeching halt. Behind you, your coworker rushed out, shouting words you couldn’t process in your shell-shocked state. You watched with vast, unblinking eyes as his body finally rolled to a stop, and he twitched out in agony. With unwavering precision, you could swear you knew the exact pain that was coursing through his body at that moment; the fear that must be setting his wounds ablaze. It wasn’t that long ago that it was you, laying in uncertainty, at the mercy of whoever might have felt your life was worthy enough to try saving. 

So, you ripped your arm out of your coworker’s frantic grip, and your legs raced toward the scene. The truck driver was stumbling out of the driver’s seat, a horror-stricken expression etched onto his features as you dropped down to your knees beside the barely conscious man. Blood coated the corners of his lips as he continued to weakly sputter up the substance. 

“Oh my god,” You babbled mindlessly, hands hovering over him as you contemplated what to do. As if reacting to your voice, his head swayed in your direction, but his eyes remained shut. He was pale— dare you say even paler than he was when he walked into your shop just moments ago. “Call an ambulance!” You shouted at the truck driver, who seemed to be too shell-shocked to spring into action himself. Upon hearing your frantic order, he immediately began fumbling with his cellphone. 

Turning your attention back to the stranger, you noted he was now struggling to pry his eyes open, a deep navy color squinting back at you. 

“Can you hear me?” You questioned, fingers twitching with the urge to turn him on his side in an attempt to prevent him choking on his own blood. You didn’t know what was broken though, so you opted to carefully tilt his head toward you. He only stared deliriously up at you as blood began to ooze from the side of his mouth. “Is there someone I can call? 

Megumi’s mind was in a state all too familiar to him though. It clung on the border between life and death, and, in the past, it was a constant struggle of whether or not it was worth fighting to get through. Now though, he was desperately grasping at the straws of his consciousness. It was his first mission by himself after the trauma his mind and body had endured during the Culling Games. After everything he’d gone through, all the battles he’d fought and the mental strife he’d worked through, this couldn’t possibly be how he left this world. A meaningless and pitiful death— is that what he would have to show for when his friends asked what became of him in the end?

“Hey, hey, stay awake, okay?” Megumi was pulled from his wallowing thoughts by the frantic voice above him, and it sounded as though he was under water, though it wouldn’t surprise him if there was blood in his ears as well. His lips parted, but all that left them was a strangled groan. Your fingers, still warm from his black coffee that had just been clutched in your hand, squeezed gently at his cheeks as though to rouse him from sleep. They slipped from his face and fell into his hand, giving his fingers a soft squeeze. “Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”

Weakly, you felt his trembling fingers grasp back at your hand. You found yourself smiling encouragingly at him, though you doubted he could see it. The sirens of an oncoming ambulance had you looking behind you, and you could see the flashing lights in the distance cutting across the traffic. From your peripheral, you saw your coworker racing out toward you, pushing through the small crowd that had formed. 

“He just— it came out of nowhere. He’s—”

“He’s suspicious as fuck.” She finished for you, concern pooling in her eyes as she grabbed your free hand in an attempt to tug you up. As you stumbled a bit, you felt the stranger’s cold hand grasp at your wrist, turning your attention back to him. “Let’s go, the ambulance is already here. This guy was probably caught up in some seriously shady shit.” 

She was right, and you knew it. It was evident from the grotesque and oddly placed scars that lined his face, the strange uniform he donned, down to the odd questions and abrupt departure he had graced you with before the accident. Still, your memories of meeting the exact same fate kept you empathetically tied to his side as you peered down at him apprehensively. He opened his eyes once again, and it appeared as though he was mustering every last bit of strength he had left. His fingers wrapped around your wrist desperately as his lips parted to plea with you.

“Please don’t leave me.”

It was a cry that was so uncharacteristic of him, but he only knew one thing at the moment. The warmth of your hand and the soothing sound of your voice was the only thing tying him down to the land of the living. Without your grounding, he felt he may slip away, resigned to the fate he had just fought so valiantly to avoid. 

The plea clutched at your heartstrings as the paramedics rushed to the scene. They were bustling around you, asking you questions while simultaneously shouting foreign terminology at each other as they immediately began tending to the situation at hand. Your eyes remained locked on the stranger’s as they slowly drifted shut, and he offered one last desolate squeeze to your hand before darkness seemed to consume him. 

“Ma’am,” The gruff voice of the paramedic beside you pulled you from your trance, and it was then that you noticed the tear that slipped down your cheek. Blinking it away, you looked up at the man, still shell-shocked. “Do you know this man?”

“I…” Your words got caught in your throat as his final plea rang in your ears. Glancing up, you saw your coworker on the other side of the sea of medical personelle, shaking her had at you with wide eyes. In your palm though, the limp, cold hand of the stranger still lay. “He’s my partner.” You lied in a haze, watching as they prepared to carefully shift him onto a stretcher. 

Your lie earned you a ride in the ambulance beside him, staring in an absent haze as the team moved like ants around him, peeling his lids back to check his eyes with a tiny light, cutting his shirt down the middle to check his vitals, prying an oxygen mask over his parted lips and expertly starting an IV on his limp arm despite the rustling of the fast-paced vehicle. They attributed your inability to answer any questions to your shock, which was partially true, but you also feared revealing your white lie to them with the wrong responses. 

Police were awaiting you at the hospital when the ambulance came to a screeching halt.  They questioned you about the accident and what you had seen. You complied easily, however couldn’t help but grow nervous once the staff at the hospital asked you to fill out paperwork on your ‘partner’s’ behalf. 

The pen in your hand shook as you stared down at the first blanks. 

FIRST NAME

LAST NAME

Of which you knew neither. 

“Is everything alright?” The soft voice of a compassionate nurse questioned as she typed away at her computer, likely awaiting your information to complete his admission. 

You looked up at her patient eyes, and you couldn’t hold back your lie any longer, explaining to her what had actually happened. Her slow nod made you feel guilty, as she thanked you for your honesty and explained the paperwork would be different now as they had no way to identify the stranger. He had no identification on him, and the cellphone they’d found in his pocket had shattered in the midst of the accident.

Perhaps you should have gone home after you’d given them all the information they needed, but you stayed in the small waiting room, anxiously bouncing your leg and chewing on your lip. As hours seemed to pass by, you’d perk up each time someone would come in, hoping any of the visitors would be coming to claim the stranger that was currently being tended to in the intensive care unit. They each came and went though, and you remained the only one awaiting him under the fluorescent lights. 

Your eyes were beginning to burn when the nurse you had spoken to hours prior walked carefully up to you, that compassionate smile everpresent on her lips. 

“I know there’s no relation, but I thought you’d like to know his condition is relatively stable as of right now.” She offered, causing you to sit up in the stiff, plastic chair. 

“Thank you— really.” You sighed breathlessly to which she nodded in return. For a moment, you wondered if you were overstepping by asking for anymore details. Casting your eyes down to your lap, you chewed pensively on your lip. She seemed to take note of your bashful apprehension, smiling knowingly. 

“You’re currently the only contact we have for him. There wouldn’t be a problem if you wanted to pay him a visit.”

So, with your fingers wringing nervously at the hem of your shirt, you followed the nurse through the unit and to the room he was occupying. Though you had seen first hand the damage the accident had done to him, you still had to bite back a shocked gasp upon seeing the various monitors he was hooked up to, as well as the clear tube running into his mouth and down his throat. You had endless questions for the god-sent nurse, but she had already mentioned that her shift was ending, so you didn’t want to hold her any longer. 

“He hasn’t woken up yet, but they can still hear you, you know?” She explained with an encouraging smile as she leaned against the doorframe. Tearing your gaze from the various lines and tubes connected to him, you peered back at her in shock, but the nurse only nodded affirmatively at you. “It helps. Especially since he’s by himself.” 

Following her polite goodbye with a promise that she’d be back on shift tomorrow morning, you were left alone with the stranger. It was silent in the sterile room, only the persistent beeping of his monitors filling the space around you. A shiver ran down your spine as if the below normal temperatures of the hospital were finally catching up to you as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other. 

“This would’ve been a lot easier if you had stayed back to drink your stupid, black coffee.” You began hesitantly as you circled the raised bed. Pursing your lips, you slowly sat down on the chair beside him. Toying with the end of the blanket that hung off the bed, the ragged rise and fall of his chest caught your attention, and you wondered how much of it was thanks to the tube running down his throat. “I wonder if you ever found what you were looking for.” 

As an assistant came in to check on him, you peered awkwardly down at your lap while they checked his vitals. Once done with the routine checks, you watched her move the blanket back over him and gently adjust certain chords to settle more comfortably around him. It made your heart warm that they seemed so attentive to his comfort, even if he wasn’t conscious enough to notice. You thanked her quietly as she departed from the room. 

“You know the nurse’s assistant was the only one in the room with me when I first woke up after my accident.” You explained to the unconscious man before you. A fond smile settled onto your lips. “My parents had stepped out for a while just to get some food. Just their luck, huh? He held my hand while I was waking up so I wasn’t all by myself. It meant the world to me.”

It felt as though Megumi was trapped right back in the barrier between his mind and his soul— helpless to find an escape. This time around though, he had more of a will to fight. There was no way he had gone through everything and exhausted his mind, body, and soul, all to meet his demise because he didn’t look both ways before crossing the damn street. Another part of him wondered if this was fate granting him mercy. Perhaps if he didn’t die here, hooked up to all these tubes and machines, his cards held something sacreligious— a gruesome and grotesque death rather than the comparably mundane one that had befallen him. After all he’d been through, maybe this was blissful; the only happy ending that could be promised to him. 

As he lay in that strange veil of unconsciousness though, as if at the bottom of a pool, looking up and barely able to see the sun’s light poking up from the surface— someone was there with him. Your voice sounded as though it was just above the feet of water that separated him from life, muffled but still familiar. It was the same voice that had coaxed him into trusting his body to let go, not knowing whether or not it would be strong enough to reemerge again. 

His brows furrowed— that he could feel, and he willed himself to swim up to the surface as the soft hum of your tired rambling filled his ears. Why were you here? Why were you still here? The sorcerer needed to know, and the urge pushed him to keep struggling against the surface pressure that weighed him down. 

You weren’t sure how long you had sat there mindlessly babbling to the unresponsive man. Wariness was beginning to weigh down on your eyes and shoulders though, likely because you had been up since four that morning to prepare for your shift. If you stopped talking, you thought you might flop over and pass out yourself. He couldn’t be by himself when he woke up, you determined. 

Some staff had come in and dimmed the lights in the room what seemed like hours ago, so they weren’t so harsh in your tired eyes as you tilted your head back to stare at the ceiling while spewing out anything that came to mind. 

“My coworker finally texted me, you know. She said the only weird thing that passed by the shop today was you. Are you in some kind of gang? It would explain the uniform and all the…” Your rambling slowly died out as the sound of sheets rustling filled your ears. In an instant, you were sitting up properly in your uncomfortable chair. His hand twitched against the sheets, and you breathed out in anticipation as you watched his face contort in discomfort. The chair you had been occupying for hours slid back as you stood up abruptly to get a closer look. “Hey— can you hear me?”

Megumi forced his eyes open with what seemed like all the energy left in him. He half expected to be in Shoko’s infirmary with his friends hovering obnoxiously over him, or even in his room where he’d awake in his bed and realize he’d dreamt the entire scenario. The blinding, white ceiling tiles above him were different from the ones he’d grown accustomed to over the years though, and the dull ache radiating through his body served to remind him that he certainly hadn’t been graced by any reverse cursed technique. 

Those mysteriously dark eyes stared incredulously up at the ceiling, and you could see the confusion begin to morph onto his features. All too soon, that confusion shifted into panic as he tried to speak, only to be met by the grueling realization that there was a tube shoved down his throat. 

“It’s okay!” You quickly reassured, placing a careful hand on his shoulder to redirect his attention. With the little he was able to move, his eyes shifted as fast as he could manage to look at you, wide in subtle horror. You took your eyes off him for a second to push the nurse call button to alert them of his waking. “You were in an accident. You’re in the hospital.”

As he peered down at the state of himself, he only seemed more unsettled. You figured it was the mangled state he was left in that freaked him out, but what was going through his head was the mission he’d left behind, along with the curse that was likely still running rampant. Still, his inability to speak paired with his limited mobility certainly didn’t do much to settle his nerves. You watched him become more agitated as he attempted to move each limb to no avail, likely thanks to the arsenal of drugs coursing through his veins. 

“It’s alright, you’re okay.” You insisted, peering out the open door to see if the nurse was nearby. Looking around the room, you left his side for a moment to quickly snatch up a marker from the white board on the wall. You uncapped it and placed it in his hand, securing his weak grip around it before offering your arm. “Is there someone we can call? What’s your name?” 

As he stared incredulously down at your offered up arm, your questions were a jumbled mess in his disoriented mind. All that kept running through his head were questions of who the wide eyed, eager girl at his bedside was, and why her voice had been the only thing he could recall from his supposed accident. Megumi’s fingers trembled as they fought to lift up the marker. A muffled grunt escaped him as he tried to get a grip on it, and it clattered to the floor along with the last string of his patience. 

The sound of the marker clanking against the squeaky clean floor rang in his ears, taunting him in his weak state. Just as he began his attempted thrash against the scratchy sheets, the nurse finally stepped in, picking up her pace a bit as she saw the state of agitation he was in. In an instant, she was dialling someone for help, though you couldn’t be bothered to listen to her, desperate to get any answers out of the stranger. Once again, you offered up your hand to him, placing his fingers against your awaiting palm.

“Trace it on my hand, something—”

“Don’t push him.” The nurse urged as more staff members seemed to flood into the room. She was maneuvering over to the line of his IV with a syringe as she attempted to deescalate the situation herself. “He wasn’t supposed to wake up; if he becomes too agitated he can injure himself further.”

“Wait—” You attempted to stop her as she pushed what you assumed was something to calm him down into his line. Logically, you knew it was in his best interest, however your gnawing curiosity had you hoping he would stay conscious for the least bit longer to provide any answers. It only took seconds though, as the drug flooded his system, and the tension in his shoulders seemed to settle back against the flat bed. His eyelids moved torturously slow as he blinked hazily, and you knew the opportunity had found its way to evade you. 

“I-I’ll wait outside.” The dejected reminder fell from your lips, though you were sure the staff were too occupied to pay you any mind. Just as you moved to get out of their way though, the stranger’s weak fingers laced around your hand. With the waning of his already deplorable strength, you felt the pads of his digits press against you, urging you to stay. Looking up with a quiet gasp, you found his half-lidded eyes on you, a desperation in them that seemed so misplaced on his hard features— even if you didn’t know him. 

Megumi thought maybe if he held onto the now familiar presence that had been beside him all this time, that it would be the one thing to keep him alert enough to continue pushing through the haze of his unconsciousness. Whether it was your continuous, honied voice that pulled him from his drug-induced coma, or the fact that he’d pulled himself out of the depths of chains much stronger than the pharmaceuticals currently in his system, he didn’t know. What he did understand, was that your gentle fingers brushing against his knuckles was practically the only thing he could still feel, and it brought him a comfort he was not prepared to surrender just yet if he were to be pulled under again. 

So, you clung on to his hand as his eyes slowly shut, bleary irises focused on you till the very end as the staff bustled around the room and spoke with the doctors. Even as you felt your own lids growing heavy that night in the darkness of the intensive care room, you couldn’t bring yourself to untangle his fingers from yours. Unable to fight the gravity that weighed down your body to remind you you had been up since four that morning, your head slumped forward and rested on the edge of the bed beside your conjoined hands. 

You hadn’t the energy to think about how odd you may have looked clinging to a complete stranger as you snoozed. Instead, the embarrassment hit you when the kind nurse from the previous day, seemingly having recently clocked in for her shift, gently woke you the next morning with a prepackaged breakfast sandwich. With burning cheeks, you used your free hand to frantically smooth your disheveled hair down and wipe at your under eyes that were undoubtedly smeared with yesterday’s makeup before accepting the food with a shy but grateful smile. 

You waited for her to finish her morning checks on her patient before tearing into the sandwich as your rumbling stomach was demanding of you. In the meantime, she updated you on his condition with jargon that you tried hard to keep up with, but it was offensively early in the morning. Nodding along, you suddenly wished you had paid more attention to all those hospital dramas your roommate used to watch incessantly. A relieved sigh escaped you when she departed, letting you know to press the call button if you needed anything. 

“You’ve really gotta get it together soon, dude.” You commented through a mouthful of bread as you peered over at him thoughtfully. At the very least, you thought, his hand seemed warmer than it had yesterday, and you could only hope that was a good sign. “This hospital food sucks.”

Tossing the wrapper into the small trash bin nearby, you huffed out a sigh. Leaning in closer to him, you hesitantly pushed the thick, black hair away from his face, brushing it gently back against his scalp. A gulp forced its way down your throat at the sight of the thick scars that lined his eyes, and you found yourself carefully brushing against them with baffled curiosity. 

“Who are you?” You whispered, and for a moment you could swear his brows twitched into a furrow.  

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s bad luck to cheat death?” A smoothly amused voice beckoned from the doorway. 

You instantly flinched away from your hovered state over the stranger, the hand that was grasped in his tightening in surprise as you looked up. Leaning against the entry was a tall man that nearly took up the entire door frame. His hair was a striking white that almost rivaled the blinding lights of the hospital room. Though concealed behind dark-rimmed sunglasses, you caught a glimpse of his startling blue eyes as he seemed to tilt his head in amusement at the scene before him. What captured your attention most of all though was the uniform he donned— one nearly identical to the one the mystery patient had been wearing during the accident. 

“Geez, after all you’ve been through, and a truck is what takes you out?” The man’s quip was this time directed at the John Doe, shaking his head with a smile as he slowly strolled into the room. 

“You know him?” You breathed out in relief, watching the fond expression on the man’s face as he scanned over the injuries. 

“Hm? Oh, yeah, he’s my student.” He responded casually, hands shoved into his pockets as he circled the bed curiously. “I assumed he was just ignoring my calls. Go figure, huh?”

The casual lightheartedness in his tone only served to confuse you. You couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that of all the people that came to claim this stranger, his teacher was the first? On top of that, how was he not brimming with concern upon finding the student he seemed so close with in intensive care? Your eyes skimmed down the strange uniform on his long body, lingering just a tad too long on the swirled button on his chest. 

“So, what’s the deal? You a girlfriend he didn’t tell anyone about?” 

Snapping up from your trance, you felt your face heat at his accusation, and you quickly shook your head. The corners of his lips twitched up in amusement. 

“I saw the accident happen.” You explained, allowing your gaze to drift back down to the patient. The edges of your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you recounted the events of the last twenty-four hours, and you were struck by the absurdity of it all. “He… he asked me not to leave— you know, before he passed out.”

“So you didn’t?” His question sounded more like a statement, you noted. You nodded with a soft sigh. Peering up at the teacher with a pursed lip, your free hand reached up to graze the oddly-shaped scars on your upper arm. 

“I’m sorry if I overstepped. I just… was in a similar accident not too long ago. So, I empathized with him— that kind of fear, you know?” You felt the need to explain it to him, as you were sure you looked like some sort of stalker at the moment. The man didn’t respond, peering pensively down at you for long enough to make you squirm in your seat. “I guess I should go now.”

A wave of unnecessary guilt crashed in your chest as you slowly stood from the chair you had been in for countless hours. Giving once last, lingering regard to the unconscious man, you gulped down the confusing lump in your throat and smiled softly. 

“I hope you find whatever you were looking for.” You whispered, gently sliding your hand from his and placing it carefully over the blanket. Nodding respectfully at the man who had been silently watching the entire encounter, you began walking toward the exit. As you hand grazed the door frame, you turned around apprehensively to find the white-haired man already peering back at you knowingly. “What—What’s his name?”

With a fond smile, the man looked back down at his student as if to say we have a lot to catch up on when your ass wakes up before looking back at you. 

“Megumi.”

His name rang through your mind in the droning days that followed your fated encounter. With every order you rang up, his frantic entrance replayed in your head. Each unfruitful study session paved way for the cinematic replaying of his awakening, projected onto your imagination over and over until it became your favorite film that lulled you into relentless, insomniatic nights.

You wondered if his condition had improved, if he had left the hospital, if he was wondering about the girl who he clung onto at his most vulnerable. As the days dragged on, and you wistfully poured out a customer’s black coffee, you realized you had left those answers behind in the hospital room that morning. Still, the more logical part of your mind told you it was for the best given the concerningly curious circumstances of his accident. Additionally, the equally mysterious man that had come to claim Megumi only fanned the flames of your suspicions. 

Despite the impending sense of danger that came each time that supposed teacher’s words rang in your head—

“After all you’ve been through, and a truck is what takes you out?”

You weren’t sure if it was your concern over his recovery, or the gnawing curiosity about the life he led that had you walking back into the hospital almost a full week later. Whichever it was, it was strong enough to push down the nerves fluttering in your stomach as you walked up to the familiar reception front desk. It was the same woman that had you fill out the paperwork when he was first admitted, and, despite it taking her a bit, she remembered you. 

“Listen, I’m really sorry, but the process isn’t as easy now that someone signed his paperwork. I can’t disclose any information to you.” She explained apologetically as you slumped forward on the cold desk. There was a certain sorrow in her eyes as she watched you sigh in defeat. 

“I mean— could you just tell me if he’s okay?” You pleaded, already dreading the thought of having to leave that day with no answers. 

“I wouldn’t even be able to confirm or deny that that patient is still in our system.” It seemed it was upsetting her just as much to deny you, and it wasn’t your intention to make her job anymore difficult than it was. “I wish I could have been of more help to you.” 

You nodded in silent understanding, offering a grateful smile nonetheless as you pushed off of the desk to take your walk of shame out of the building. Perhaps it was a sign; the thought fleeted into your mind on what seemed like the endless trek to the door. This denial was the closure you needed to move on from this bizarre, chance encounter that happened to mimic one you witnessed firsthand just years ago. In stark terms, whatever seemed to be lying at the bottom of the mysterious well that was Megumi— wasn’t your business.

In the same notion though, maybe it was fate that that oddly large, white haired man was strolling into the very doors you were trying to exit, coffee and a paper bag clutched in his causal grip. Your mouth opened and closed as you looked up at him, unsure if he’d even recognize you or care enough to acknowledge your being there. As if sensing your silent stare, he glanced up from his phone for a moment, doing a small double take upon seeing you.  

“Pick up another straggler?” He teased, sliding his phone into the pocket of his uniform with a known smirk. His head tilted toward you. “What was it this time? Just so happened to be around when they mysteriously fell out a window?” 

Despite the fact that his seemingly playful nature was making you feel more comfortable, you still couldn’t help the heat that rushed to your face. Attempting a breathless chuckle, you smiled nervously at the man. 

“The hospital should start paying me commission, huh?” You quipped with apprehensive amusement. A short but genuine laugh broke through his teasing facade, and he nodded for you to walk with him. Pushing past the slight shock of how easily this was going for you, you stumbled after him. 

“I’m assuming you’re not here to see me?” 

Chewing on your bottom lip, you watched the bright tiles passing under your feet as you followed him through the hospital. Once again, you were hit by the realization that you were meddling in something you seriously had no business in. Still, the nonchalant man leading you through the hallways didn’t seem to have any sort of reaction to your curiosity.

“I’m really sorry if I’m overstepping, it’s just been kind of eating me alive.” You confessed with a halfhearted chuckle.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, our little overachiever isn’t in intensive care anymore.” He informed with an almost proud smile. 

“Really?” You didn’t intend to sound so relieved, but it was an almost instantaneous reaction. 

“Yuuup. Officially graduated.” He confirmed as he wiped mock tears from under his sunglasses. “Go see for yourself, his room’s right here.” 

As he stopped in front of a cracked open door, you hadn’t even realized the man had been leading you to pay Megumi a visit. Glancing up at him unassuredly, you didn’t have a chance to ask if he was sure before he was waving you off nonchalantly.

“Actually, if you don’t mind taking my stuff in there.” The teacher requested, not giving you a chance to protest as he shoved the coffee and bag into your hands. “Forgot my phone in my car.”

Your brows furrowed for a moment, cause you could have sworn you had just seen him slip the aforementioned phone into his pocket just as you ran into him. There was no time to question it though, because in an instant, his freakishly long legs were traversing him back down the way you came in. With a barely noticeable huff of disbelief, your gaze drifted to the cracked-open door in front of you. You shook your head before pushing in anyway, trying to be mindful of the nearly overflowing coffee cup that was desperately trying to spill onto your hand. 

“Shit.” You muttered under your breath with a flinch as you felt a scalding drop offend your skin. 

“You’re not Gojo.” 

“Shit!” You repeated with a start, posture jolting up to face whoever it was that damn near just sent you to the afterlife. 

What you hadn’t expected to see was the very awake and very alert Megumi sitting up in his hospital bed. His mouth was free of the tube that once restrained it, though you could still hear the after affects of it in the rasp and crack of his voice. In fact, the only thing he appeared to still be connected to was an IV pole and what looked like a heart monitor. 

You could have killed the tall stranger, whom you presumed was the Gojo character he was talking about, for not thinking it important to warn her that Megumi was no longer unconscious before you waltzed into his room so nonchalantly. In truth, you expected to drop by, see with your own two eyes that the man hadn’t succumbed to his injuries, and be on your merry way. 

“Ow! Fuck,” You were babbling at this point, pacing around for anywhere to put down the damned coffee cup that had just scalded your hand in tandem with your startled jump. The black haired man watched you silently, almost moving to get up to help you before he remembered the brace that wrapped his right ankle. “I’m so sorry— I had no idea you were awake.” 

Your frantic apologies continued spilling from your lips as you ran your stinging hand underneath the sink that sat in the corner. You did it partly to soothe the pain, but another part of you just didn’t think you could face the poor man after completely invading his privacy. 

“That weird guy with the sunglasses told me to come in, but then he just—”

“You were the one that stayed with me after the accident, right?”

Unable to gage the flat tone in his voice, you slowly turned the faucet off before finally turning to face him. In the time you hadn’t been looking, it seemed he had pushed the hair out of his face, and he was sitting up a little higher in the bed than you remembered. The book in his lap laid open and forgotten, his large, dark eyes focused intently on you. 

“Uh, yeah.” You admitted softly, wiping your hands nervously on your bottoms. “You were outside the cafe—”

“I remember.” He stated flatly, making you bite down harshly on your bottom lip. Megumi was coming off as rude, guarded, irritated— he knew he was, but he couldn’t for the life of him gather his thoughts well enough to express the gratitude he felt for you. Even more so though, he couldn’t possibly bring himself to understand the curiosity and fondness that had been festering over the past few days in your absence. 

A silence enveloped the room, and you suddenly wondered where the hell his teacher was— desperate for anything to break the tension. 

“Well, I should probably go.” You finally mustered out, setting the bag and cup down onto the counter before turning to leave. “I-I’m glad to see you’re doing better. Sorry again to—”

“Wait,” Megumi urged, leaning forward so quickly it had him wincing with the pressure on his injured ribs. Your hair swayed as you whipped your head back at him in question, and you thought you saw the slightest pink hue on his cheeks. “Sorry, I’m… on a lot of meds. You don’t have to leave.” 

His excuse made your brow slowly quirk up, an amused smirk barely concealed on your lips. Attempting to push down your amusement, you pursed your lips and glanced out the door for any sign of Gojo’s return. Upon seeing only the hospital staff bustling around, you slowly made your way over and sat down on the chair beside his bed. For a moment, the two of you simply stared at one another in silence, both of you unsure of what to say next. 

In your brief study of his now conscious face up close, you noticed each sharp feature of his, from his straight nose, to the strong line of his jaw. Somehow, despite their dark hue, his wide eyes seemed to soften his face even if just minimally with every caress of his long, thick lashes against his cheekbones. You wanted to avert your eyes to stop the incoming flush in your cheeks upon the sudden realization that Megumi was incredibly attractive, but you couldn’t seem to tear your eyes away.

In a last ditch effort to preserve any dignity, you were grasping at straws to say anything. 

“What were you look—”

“Why did you stay?” 

The both of you began simultaneously, but his question made you clam up. There wasn’t malice in his tone, but a raw curiosity instead, an urge to understand. His brows were slowly settling into that familiar furrow you remembered seeing on his sleeping form constantly. 

“I— You asked me to.” You answered simply, your voice quieter than it was before. A small huff of breath raced out his nose at your response. 

“So you just do whatever strange men you just met tell you to do?”

“I think I preferred you when you still had a tube down your throat.” You laughed breathlessly, a little shocked at the sass that emanated from the seemingly reserved man. Almost immediately, he rolled his pretty eyes at your comment, but there was a ghost of a smile threatening to assassinate the cool-boy persona he had built up. 

“Why did you stay?” Megumi asked again. There was more conviction in his rasped tone this time. Subconsciously, your hand creeped up to grasp at your scarred upper arm, and he followed the motion intently. His gaze narrowed slightly at the raised skin, a hint of recognition flashing in his eyes as he continued to stare. 

“Two years ago, I was in a similar accident. There was all sorts of hell breaking loose in the city, so I didn’t think anyone would help me, you know?” You recounted with a sad smile, feeling your breath tremble at the memory. “I still don’t know how they got me out— some guy that was around. He almost ran right past me. I never got to thank him, or ask him how he got me out from under the car. I was already in the hospital when I woke up.”

He processed your words for a moment, blinking slowly down at your scar as the puzzle pieces seemed to click together in his mind. It sounded too familiar— just as the marks on your arms were ones he’d surely seen before. 

“And that scar—  you got it from the accident?” He assumed, though he already knew the answer. You nodded, looking down at it yourself and allowing the tips of your fingers to trace each curve. The corners of his lips twitched up on their own accord, eyes softening with the revelation that fate had always been on his side. “Kind of looks like a bite.”

There was a subtly bemused tone in his voice. You didn’t quite understand where it was coming from, but as you inspected the mark closer with this perspective, you hummed in fascination. 

“I don’t really see it.” You mumbled. 

In an instant, his fingers had reached out to fold gently around your arm. Your eyes fluttered up to look at him in surprise, but he was still focused on your mark with a soft fondness. Swiping his thumb over the raised skin, the pads of his fingers mapped out the familiar canine marks of his demon dog. 

As if the feel of it ignited his memory, he could almost perfectly recall the sight of the large hound tearing through the wrecked car as Megumi exorcised the curse that had been at the cusp of the mangled traffic jam. Working on his command, the boy watched as the dog emerged, dragging a girl out of the rubble by her arm. The skin around the bite was already bloodied and bruised, but you certainly still had more of a chance of survival than you had before the damned bite. 

At once, there was an understanding in his still foggy mind that the machinery of right and wrong he had grown accustomed to over the years was far more prophetic than he ever cared to give it credit for. It didn’t matter what reason you gave him for staying by his side that night, because he already understood it wholeheartedly on a much different level than he had anticipated. Megumi had always been the type to search for reason in his own kindness while cynically picking apart the kindness of others. After all he’d been through, perhaps this was the final nail in the coffin of his nihilistic pattern of viewing his moral compass. 

“See, Megumi? I told you your knight in shining armor would come back for you!” That familiarly sarcastic voice that you had now been able to name Gojo, had the both of you flinching back from the unexpectedly intimate moment. Megumi’s face seemed to sour instantly as the man strolled into the room with a wide smile. “This kid was driving me insane, asking me about you as soon as they pulled that tube out of his throat.” 

The patient grumbled, and if he had more strength and less shit hooked up to him, he would have thrown a pillow at his teacher. Glaring dangerously at him, Megumi swatted his hand away as the older man began to ruffle at his hair in mock affection. Despite his clear mortification, you smiled amusedly at the scene before you. 

“Thanks for looking after the little guy for me.”

“I’m starting to think I should get a job here.” You joked back as you stood from your chair. You looked back at Megumi, who’s hard gaze was slowly melting into subtle confusion as he watched you rise. “I’m really glad you’re okay.”

You bowed in thanks to Gojo before making your way to the door. 

“You’re leaving?” Megumi stopped you at the exit for the second time that day. Had you looked now, you would have caught the deadly glare he shot his sensei’s way for ruining the moment. 

With your hand on the door, you turned around to offer him a warm smile, one that had his shoulders slumping forward as if enveloped in the most welcoming of blankets. 

“Gotta get to work.” You explained regretfully, chewing on the inside of your cheek. In a spark of confidence that was surely spurred on by the fact that you still had endless questions for the man, you continued with a bashful grin. “But you know where to find me. Maybe you can actually stay for your order this time, hm?”

Gojo almost had to turn away to hide the laughter bubbling in his chest upon seeing the dumbstruck expression on Megumi’s face as he could only muster up a small nod. You found yourself nodding along with him. 

“I’ll have your order ready.” You teased with a wink. “Black coffee, right?”

The boy breathed out in disbelief, watching with pink tinted cheeks as your hair swayed behind you while you took your leave. He wished with everything in him, since fate seemed to be playing so mercifully with him these days, that his ankle would miraculously heal in time for him to chase after you to catch one more glimpse of your glittering eyes and incandescent smile. Perhaps he had already had his fill of fate’s luck for one lifetime though, because he could only remain seated dumbly on the hospital bed, jaw hanging down just a hair as he breathed out. 

“Right.”

masterlist | requests | talk to me ❤︎

I love hearing everyone's thoughts! ◝⠀(ᵔᵕᵔ)⠀◜

[houseofbrat]

Bernie Would Have Won

By Krystal Ball

There are a million surface-level reasons for Kamala Harris’s loss and systematic underperformance in pretty much every county and among nearly every demographic group. She is part of a deeply unpopular administration. Voters believe the economy is bad and that the country is on the wrong track. She is a woman and we still have some work to do as a nation to overcome long-held biases. 

But the real problems for the Democrats go much deeper and require a dramatic course correction of a sort that, I suspect, Democrats are unlikely to embark upon. The bottom line is this: Democrats are still trying to run a neoliberal campaign in a post-neoliberal era. In other words, 2016 Bernie was right.

Let’s think a little bit about how we got here. The combination of the Iraq War and the housing collapse exposed the failures and rot that were the inevitable result of letting the needs of capital predominate over the needs of human beings. The neoliberal ideology which was haltingly introduced by Jimmy Carter, embraced fully by Ronald Reagan, and solidified across both parties with Bill Clinton embraced a laissez-faire market logic that would supplant market will for national will or human rights, but also raise incomes enough overall and create enough dynamism that the other problems were in theory, worth the trade off. Clinton after all ran with Reagan era tax cutting, social safety net slashing and free trade radicalism with NAFTA being the most prominent example. 

Ultimately, of course, this strategy fueled extreme wealth inequality. But for a while this logic seemed to be working out. The Soviet Union collapsed and the Cold War ended. Incomes did indeed rise and the internet fueled tech advances contributing to a sense of cosmopolitan dynamism. America had a swaggering confidence that these events really did represent a sort of end of history. We believed that our brand of privatization, capitalism, and liberal democracy would take over the world. We confidently wielded institutions like the World Bank, IMF, and WTO to realize this global vision. We gave China most-favored nation trade status.

Underneath the surface, the unchecked market forces we had unleashed were devastating communities in the industrial Midwest and across the country. By the neoliberal definition NAFTA was a roaring success contributing to GDP growth. But if your job was shipped overseas and your town was shoved into economic oblivion, the tradeoff didn’t seem like such a great deal.

The underlying forces of destruction came to a head with two major catastrophes, the Iraq War and the housing collapse/Great Recession. The lie that fueled the Iraq war destroyed confidence in the institutions that were the bedrock of this neoliberal order and in the idea that the U.S. could or should remake the world in our image. Even more devastating, the financial crisis left home owners destitute while banks were bailed out, revealing that there was something deeply unjust in a system that placed capital over people. How could it be that the greedy villains who triggered a global economic calamity were made whole while regular people were left to wither on the vine?

These events sparked social movements on both the right and the left. The Tea Party churned out populist-sounding politicians like Sarah Palin and birtherist conspiracies about Barack Obama, paving the way for the rise of Donald Trump. The Tea Party and Trumpism are not identical, of course, but they share a cast of villains: The corrupt bureaucrats or deep state. The immigrants supposedly changing your community. The cultural elites telling you your beliefs are toxic. Trump’s version of this program is also explicitly authoritarian. This authoritarianism is a feature not a bug for some portion of the Trump coalition which has been persuaded that democracy left to its own devices could pose an existential threat to their way of life. 

On the left, the organic response to the financial crisis was Occupy Wall Street, which directly fueled the Bernie Sanders movement. Here, too, the villains were clear. In the language of Occupy it was the 1% or as Bernie put it the millionaires and billionaires. It was the economic elite and unfettered capitalism that had made it so hard to get by. Turning homes into assets of financial speculation. Wildly profiteering off of every element of our healthcare system. Busting unions so that working people had no collective power. This movement was, in contrast to the right, was explicitly pro-democracy, with a foundational view that in a contest between the 99% and the 1%, the 99% would prevail. And that a win would lead to universal programs like Medicare for All, free college, workplace democracy, and a significant hike in the minimum wage.  

These two movements traveled on separate tracks within their respective party alliances and met wildly different fates. On the Republican side, Donald Trump emerged as a political juggernaut at a time when the party was devastated and rudderless, having lost to Obama twice in a row. This weakened state—and the fact that the Trump alternatives were uncharismatic drips like Jeb Bush—created a path for Trump to successfully execute a hostile takeover of the party.

Plus, right-wing populism embraces capital, and so it posed no real threat to the monied interests that are so influential within the party structures. The uber-rich are not among the villains of the populist right (see: Elon Musk, Bill Ackman, and so on), except in so much as they overlap with cultural leftism. The Republican donor class was not thrilled with Trump’s chaos and lack of decorum but they did not view him as an existential threat to their class interests. This comfort with him was affirmed after he cut their taxes and prioritized union busting and deregulation in his first term in office.

Meanwhile, the Democratic Party put its thumb on the scales and marshaled every bit of power they could, legitimate and illegitimate, to block Bernie Sanders from a similar party takeover. The difference was that Bernie’s party takeover did pose an existential threat—both to party elites who he openly antagonized and to the party’s big money backers. The bottom line of the Wall Street financiers and corporate titans was explicitly threatened. His rise would simply not be allowed. Not in 2016 and not in 2020.

What’s more, Hillary Clinton and her allies launched a propaganda campaign to posture as if they were actually to the left of Bernie by labeling him and his supporters sexist and racist for centering class politics over identity politics. This in turn spawned a hell cycle of woke word-policing and demographic slicing and dicing and antagonism towards working class whites that only made the Democratic party more repugnant to basically everyone.

This identity politics sword has also been wielded within the Democratic Party to crush any possibility of a Bernie-inspired class focused movement in Congress attempted by the Justice Democrats and the Squad in 2018. My colleague Ryan Grim has written an entire book on this subject so I won’t belabor the point here. But suffice it to say, the threat of the Squad to the Democratic Party’s ideology and order has been thoroughly neutralized. The Squad members themselves, perhaps out of ideology and perhaps out of fear of being smeared as racist, leaned into identitarian politics which rendered them non-threatening in terms of national popular appeal. They were also relentlessly attacked from within the party, predominately by pro-Israel groups that an unprecedented tens of millions of dollars in House primaries, which has led to the defeat of several members and has served as a warning and threat to the rest.

That brings us to today where the Democratic Party stands in the ashes of a Republican landslide which will sweep Donald Trumpback into the White House. The path not taken in 2016 looms larger than ever. Bernie’s coalition was filled with the exact type of voters who are now flocking to Donald Trump: Working class voters of all races, young people, and, critically, the much-derided bros. The top contributors to Bernie’s campaign often held jobs at places like Amazon and Walmart. The unions loved him. And—never forget—he earned the coveted Joe Rogan endorsement that Trump also received the day before the election this year. It turns out, the Bernie-to-Trump pipeline is real! While that has always been used as an epithet to smear Bernie and his movement, with the implication that social democracy is just a cover for or gateway drug to right wing authoritarianism, the truth is that this pipeline speaks to the power and appeal of Bernie’s vision as an effective antidote to Trumpism. When these voters had a choice between Trump and Bernie, they chose Bernie. For many of them now that the choice is between Trump and the dried out husk of neoliberalism, they’re going Trump.

I have always believed that Bernie would have defeated Trump in 2016, though of course there is no way to know for sure. What we can say for sure is that the brand of class-first social democracy Bernie ran on in 2016 has proven successful in other countries because of course the crisis of neoliberalism is a global phenomenon. Most notably, Bernie’s basic political ideology was wildly successful electorally with Andrés Manuel López Obrador and now his successor Claudia Sheinbaum in Mexico, Lula Da Silva in Brazil, and Evo Morales in Bolivia. AMLO, in fact, was one of the most popular leaders in the entire world and dramatically improved the livelihoods of a majority of his countrymen. Bernie’s basic ideology was also successful in our own history.

In the end, I got this election dead wrong. I thought between January 6th and the roll back of human rights for women, it would be enough. I thought that the overtly fascist tendencies of Donald Trump and the spectacle of the world’s richest man bankrolling him would be enough strikes against him to overcome the problems of the Democratic Party which I have spoken out about for years now–problems Kamala Harris decided to lean into rather than confront. Elevating Liz Cheney as a top surrogate was not just a slap in the face to all the victims of American imperialism—past and ongoing; it was a broad signal to voters that Democrats were the party of elites, playing directly into right-wing populist tropes. While the media talked about it as a “tack to the center,” author and organizer Jonathan Smucker more aptly described it as “a tack to the top.” And as I write this now, I have zero hope or expectation that Democrats will look at the Bernie bro coalition and realize why they screwed up. Cable news pundits are already blaming the left once again for the failures of a party that has little to do with the actual left and certainly not the populist left. 

Instead, Trump’s victory represents a defeat of social democratic class-first politics in America—not quite final, but not temporary either. The Democrats have successfully smothered the movement, blocked the entranceways, salted the earth. Instead they will, as Bill Clinton did in the ‘90s, embrace the fundamental tenets of the Trumpist worldview. 

They already are, in fact. Democrats have dropped their resistance to Trump’s mass deportation policies and immigrant scapegoating. The most ambitious politician in the Democratic coalition, Gavin Newsom, is making a big show of being tough-on-crime and dehumanizing the homeless. Democrat-leaning billionaires like Jeff Bezos who not only owns Amazon but the Washington Post have already abandoned their resistance.

Maybe I will be just as wrong as I was about the election but it is my sense that with this Trump victory, authoritarian right politics have won the ideological battle for what will replace the neoliberal order in America. And yes, I think it will be ugly, mean, and harmful—because it already is.

[pyrodolls]

Second part of the yandere kung lao? We do not want it we NEED it 🥰

self aware! yandere kung lao x reader PART 2

warnings: obsession, ooc kung lao, gender neutral reader, kung lao has an existential crisis

summary: you’re in the game now, thanks to kung lao dragging you into the mortal kombat 1 universe. but you didn't expect him to be so... suffocating.

a/n: I WAS SURPRISED THAT PEOPLE LIKED THE FIRST PART. i got so many requests for a part two, sooooo here it is. i love self aware fics, and i tried so hard to hold back on turning this into a sagau-cult-au inspired fic. i love reading sagau cult au fics on here bro. maybe someday i'll make self aware mk1 cult au fics

see part one here -> part 1

-you woke up in the nook of an alley, confused on how you got there. but you knew you got transported in the world of mortal kombat. is this just a dream? there's no way you just woke up in a video game.

-you tried pinching yourself, in case you were indeed having a dream. unfortunately, nothing happened. you just landed in mortal kombat somehow.

-the thought of waking up in one of your favorite video games seemed cool at first, but a lot of questions popped into your head. how did you get there? is it a permanent thing? can you escape somehow? does any of this have to do with the kung lao glitches?

-your last question was quickly answered when you heard someone mumbling nearby. the voice sounded too familiar. it was kung lao's voice.

-"where are they..." kung lao mumbled, repeating that phrase every few seconds. was he looking for someone? could it be you he was looking for?

-you wanted to reveal yourself and meet him, but you hesitated. you remembered those weird glitches that happened while you were trying to play the game, so you were slightly creeped out by kung lao.

- a part of you wanted to say something or introduce yourself, but you got a strange feeling in your gut, almost as if you know you shouldn’t trust him. something is wrong about him, really wrong.

- trusting your gut, you ended up hiding from kung lao. as soon as you stopped hearing his mumbling, you got up from your hiding spot, thinking you were safe.

-"found you." kung lao whispered, engulfing you in his arms. apparently you couldn't hide from him. and he really was looking for you after all.

-"it's you.. it's really you..." he repeated, his voice cracking.

-"you know me?" you asked, raising an eyebrow. "i think you have the wrong person..."

-"why would i have the wrong person? i brought you here for a reason." kung lao replied, not letting go of you.

-you were shocked. *he* was the one that brought you in the game? there's no way...

-"you see, i was tired of being away from you. it was like torture. i needed to feel your warmth, i couldn't bare being stuck behind a screen. besides, it kind of hurt when you kept on shutting the game off and on! did you not want to see me or something?" kung lao teased, casually acting as if you had a close relationship with each other.

-"how did you know you were in a game? and you wanted to feel my... warmth?" you asked, in complete shock from what he was saying. does he care about you or something? but you have never even spoken. obviously you liked kung lao because he was a cool character, but it was never deeper than that. you knew he was just a character and nothing more.

-"of course i did! you know how much i love you, right? i've been showing hints for so long! don't tell me that was for nothing.." he whined.

-he loved you? there was no way. he never even spoken to you! he was a fictional character, and you were just a regular mortal kombat player. it had to be a joke. maybe you were high.

-kung lao got the hint that you were still confused, so he tried to regain your memory.

-"you know.. remember how i gave you all my skins and stuff? that was a lot of hard work, you have no idea how much coding or whatever i had to go through. and i tried talking to you directly, but that was even harder. the most i could do was look at you as often as i could. was that not enough for you?" kung lao explained, sensing that his efforts were all for naught.

-so he was the reason for all those glitches. somehow, kung lao became self-aware... and he made himself the center of attention so he could gain your affection? it sounded extremely bizarre.

-if kung lao was capable of messing with the game and bringing you inside the game, who knew what else he was capable of?

-in fear of angering him, you decided to go along with his little delusions.

-"well, of course i knew! i just needed a reminder, sorry. i'm glad you brought me here, kung lao." you lied.

-upon hearing what you said, a big smile appeared on his face. kung lao was ecstatic that you returned his affections. he worked so hard to show you how much he loves you, and now he finally has the chance to embrace you. he can finally treat you with the love you deserve. he was tired of always seeing you on the other side of the screen, unable to directly interact with you.

-"great! i'm so glad we finally got to meet. i have so much i want to talk about with you, and i just can't wait to spend time with you. you don't understand how long i've been waiting for this moment." kung lao excitedly ranted.

-in that moment, a part of him realized his life was a lie. all the tales he heard of his ancestors, all the adventures and memories he's ever had... were all a figment for a video game. it was a terrible feeling to him, and he refused to face that reality. kung lao preferred to focus on you, instead of worrying. obviously, there was nothing else worth his love and time anymore after learning that his life is a lie.

-kung lao now believes you are a sort of saviour, a light in his fake life. nothing else matters anymore, because he has you now. and you have him too! he'll devote himself to you and provide you with strength, excitement, and love for the rest of your life. nobody is better than him, you should be grateful that you managed to have such a great partner by your side!

-it's not like anyone would be a better choice than him anyway, so don't go off and find someone else, okay? in fact, you probably shouldn't even look at anyone else. kung lao did so much for you and proved that he is worthy of your affections, so there is no reason for you to go after anyone else. if you do, kung lao will... take care of them. nobody will one-up him. nobody will be better than him this time. not on his watch. just this once... he can have something to himself.

[hoonvrs]

ENHA AND THEIR HABITS

PAIRING enha x gnr

GENRE est. relationship, fluff

WARNINGS none (i think??)

W. COUNT 1.6k

S. NOTE first proper drabble on this acc to ease me back in to writing, also because i don’t have time to write a full fic but shh

LEE HEESEUNG

( singing your name )

no matter where he is, he constantly sings your name

could be in public, at home, even at work

sometimes you’ll hear him singing your name out before you even hear him approaching you

has a new habit of singing your name in the middle of random conversations

he’d be talking to you in the most monotone voice ever then here comes mariah carey once your name is mentioned

would finish his sentence in the most normal voice ever as if he didn’t just scream your name in falsetto

gets weird stares from everyone around you

( adamant to talk to you even though he’s actively falling asleep )

you both fell into the routine of calling each other at night

and even though you can hear him slurring his speech and dosing off he refuses to hang up

would deny to hell and back that he is sleepy

even though you can literally hear him losing consciousness

would eventually hang up on him because the arguing became him saying incoherent words trying to prove himself

guess what: did not prove anything

expect him to call all pouty the next morning because you hung up

PARK JONGSEONG

( touch your hair )

he’s not used to long hair (or at least longer)

would easily become obsessed with touching your hair

once saw a tiktok of how to braid hair and fell into a rabbit hole

would randomly try and braid your hair after watching a few youtube tutorials and 100% creates a lot of knots

but you still let him because he’s just so cute when he tries to brush your hair carefully without hurting you (would also give the best scalp messages)

if you have curly/coily hair he’d start asking about your hair type and would loveee helping you when its hair day

camera roll is just filled with pictures of him with bobby pins in his mouth/experimenting on your hair

( intense eye contact )

jay has never had a problem with holding eye contact talking to people

so poor baby was confused when you could barely hold eye contact for a minute

after getting together he’d ask you why you did that, and you had to explain that not everyone can intensely hold eye contact the whole time

also mentioned how him being attractive did not help your case

definitely the type to follow your eyes with his whole face to tease you

also prepare your heart for being on the receiving end of his ‘madly in love’ stare

would stare at you with his pretty boy eyes with so much love and no shame, he couldn’t care less who sees him

SIM JAEYUN

( blinking at you expectingly )

everyone knows jake is a very curious boy

both you and him knew that

so, him asking you questions about everything and anything is normal to you

but after the first few questions you realise, he never fails to look at you expectantly blinking his eyes at a kind of concerning speed

don’t think he even realises he does it

but it’s the cutest thing ever so its okay

could ask you the most out of pocket question then give you puppy eyes blinking at you cutely 

would push you into an existential crisis with his questions about life and debrief you with his blinking  

( resting his head on your lap )

you can never sit down to do anything without suddenly feeling something heavy in your lap

sit down and you’ll be able to distantly hear the sound of someone running full speed to lay on you

jake is a big fan of head scratches but sometimes he just wants to be there

could both be doing you own thing

no ‘hi, hello how was your day’ just head in lap and hand in hair

once you nudged him away from your lap because he wouldn’t stop fidgeting and he gave you the silent treatment for 2 hours

nothing a few head rubs and praises can’t fix

PARK SUNGHOON

( tieing your shoelaces )

hoon is a domestic type of boyfriend 

so don’t be surprised when he likes to help you do mundane acts like putting on your coat, opening the door for you

but his favourite thing to do is tie your shoelaces

you don’t know why he likes doing it so much and honestly neither does he

bonus points if the weather is cold and you’re wearing a puffy coat with a scarf and hat practically drowning you 

sometimes he’ll watch you struggle a little when you can’t reach your shoes comfortably before sweeping in to save you

god forbid he sees you let someone else do it, you’ll have to deal with a petty sunghoon for the rest of the day

( squeezing/biting you )

when you first got together he’d randomly lean over to you and squeeze whatever limb is closest to him

sometimes it’s cute like your arm or thigh but sometimes he’s a weirdo and will squeeze your ankle if its close enough

after becoming more comfortable he’d start grabbing you more until one day he bit you

you were both cuddling on the couch watching a movie when you suddenly feel a set of teeth gently bite your cheek

cue him trying to explain himself whilst you stare at him holding your cheek in confusion

it’s a little cute like when he bites softly onto your hand but sometimes it would fucking hurt like the one time he back hugged you and bit you on the back

he suffers from high levels of cuteness aggression so it won’t be the last time he bites you a little too hard

KIM SUNWOO

( watch you do your makeup )

sunoo grew up watching his sister do her makeup in the mirror nearly everyday so of course he’d watch when you do it

would love to see the way you decide what look to do and what colours to pick

make sure to always ask for his input because he loves helping you pick your makeup

a little hesitant to ask to try on you since his sister never let him

would start smiling so hard when you let him

a bit scary though when he’s doing your makeup and giggling to himself

surprisingly good at it which confuses you because who was he practicing on hmm

( push up/take off your glasses )

when you first met sunoo you were wearing your contacts

so, when he saw you on a random day wearing glasses he became obsessed 

prefers at home dates since it usually means you wear your glasses instead of contacts

started a little thing were he’ll push your glasses up when its slides down

might slope down the little bit and now his finger is in your face

sometimes he’ll just completely take it off to mess with you

finds it hilarious when you try to read something far away and he snatches them off so you can’t see anymore

YANG JUNGWON

( watch you pick what to wear )

jungwon was shocked at the amount of clothes you had when you first started dating

which only got worse after you started stealing all his clothes

shocked gasps can be heard every time he hears you say you have nothing to wear

he finds the whole process of you picking out an outfit funny

loves when you try on multiple outfits because he knows you’ll probably end up with one of his hoodies and jeans

refuses to help you pick because you always ask only to do whatever you want 

loves when you make a pile of clothes you don’t want to wear on your bed because he can smell his and your perfume mixing from his hoodies

( poke/tickle you )

where sunghoon squeezes and bites, jungwon pokes and tickles

did it once to scare you but you didn’t react so now he’s made it his life goal to catch you off guard

convinced he can condition you into being ticklish if he tries hard enough like okay pavlov

will walk past you and jab his finger into your rib and get no reaction

where some people get bored and move on to someone who will react, yang jungwon only becomes more determined

has tried tickling you through the day to see if that changes anything. it doesn’t

lets just say a little argument ensued once when he decided to tickle you at 3am in your sleep

NISHIMURA RIKI

( constant touch )

niki is someone who needs constant physical touch 

he’s so dramatic with it too oh my god he’ll start whining about if you don’t touch him now he’ll die in two seconds

began with him trying to hug you 24/7 even when the members would tease him he wouldn’t let go

that soon changed to intertwining pinkies because walking whilst hugging is not easy

if for some reason he can’t hug or hold you pinkie he’ll make do

sometimes he’ll link your arms or pinch your clothes

another weirdo who’ll hug your leg if he has to

( looking for you in the morning )

he’s become accustomed to waking up with you that if he doesn’t see you next to him he’ll get up to look for you

it’s cute to you when he comes into the living room or kitchen dishevelled and hugs you

but scares the fuck out of his members

they were convinced for the first month he was sleep walking

would see niki at ass o’clock going through each room calling out your name like a broken record

would take him a minute to process the fact that you’re not there

would get sent a new videos daily from one of the members of a groggy niki going through the rooms saying your name

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