#literally it would fix me though every problem i have gone

[seveneyesoup]

a long nights sleep under the tardis console would fix me btw

[everyonewooeverywhere]

NSFW BLOG | MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED

chapter 2 : dirty bastard

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

summary: when you come into his shop to get your boyfriend's car fixed, yunho can help but wonder what a hardworking, pretty girl like you is doing with someone so...pathetic. and maybe, just maybe, he feels like he could treat you better.

pairing: cowboy mechanic!yunho x female!reader

genre: non-idol au | strangers to lovers | angst | fluff (no smut yet, but there will be eventually)

rating: pg-13 (18+ for the whole series bc there will be smut eventually)

word count: 4.7k

content/warnings: pet names (sweetheart, doll), toxic relationship, yeonjun slander 😞 (again, sry baby)

notes: again, thank you @ateez-main-yapper for being my ride or die with this one 🫠 literally would have never finished this without her (and yes im gonna say that for every chapter get used to it ☺️💗)

The apartment was quiet for the rest of the evening. You’d stopped going to Yeonjun’s gigs ages ago, so you usually had the entire evening to yourself. It was nice, a relaxing way to wind down. It felt like you lived alone in this little apartment for a few short hours. After clearing away all the scattered beer cans and paper plates scattered around the living room, you could live in your little bubble of delusion. A single girl, just enjoying her quiet after a long day.

You tried to keep your previous argument with Yeonjun out of your mind. It wasn’t really a new one. He’d always been wildly insecure around any of your male friends, even though most of them were the boyfriends of your female friends, and it was a disagreement you’d had several times. 

He’d never acknowledge the hypocrisy of him having plenty of female friends who hung around him and his bandmates, though. Girls who either didn’t care that he had a girlfriend or simply didn’t know. Being the man that he was, you couldn’t help but assume the latter. 

No more Yeonjun thoughts. You told yourself. He was going to be gone the rest of the night, so it was better that you kept him out of your head. 

And as you watched the TV you found it was pretty easy to keep him out of your mind, especially when thoughts of another man slipped in so much easier.

The feeling of Yunho’s arms wrapped around your shoulders lingered. The way he’d held you so close and rubbed your back was so comforting. His soft whispers of reassurance floated through your head as if he was still there. As if he was curled up on the couch next to you, holding you because he knew it brought you comfort.

You were baffled at your lack of guilt over the fantasies of being cherished by a man who was certainly not your boyfriend, especially when said man had made it pretty clear that he would’ve made advances toward you had you been single.

But you couldn’t find it in you to care.

And when Yeonjun stumbled into the apartment at two in the morning, you were lying awake in bed. You felt the bed dip as he rolled himself toward you, drunkenly wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into him. “Mmh…Love you, baby,” you let him place a wet kiss on the back of your neck, “M’sorry.”

You didn’t pull away. Letting him hold you close. Imagining the slurring of his voice in a charming southern accent. And wishing the smell of alcohol on his breath was gasoline.

Yunho called you at noon the next day telling you the car was ready for you to pick up. He said that it had been a much quicker job than he’d first anticipated. 

His soft southern drawl floated through the phone's speakers, “You need a ride over? I can bring ya some coffee, too.”

A heartfelt smile spread across your lips, “Oh thank you, Yunho. But I think I’ll just have my friend drive me over... If you…happen to still be getting coffee, though…”

The sound of his chuckle made your stomach flip, “I’ll grab ya somethin’, Doll.”

“Thank you.”

“Not a problem. Send me your order and whatever your friend wants, and I’ll have it ready for you when you get here.”

He hung up not long after. Huffing and complaining that “Mingi’s being needy.” 

“Okay,” you let out a breathy laugh, “Bye Yunho. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“See you later, Doll.”

You felt an odd sort of guilt over how excited you were to see him, and you felt like you had to consistently remind yourself of your own relationship when you were around him. But it was so hard to mask the way he made you giddy every time he called you “sweetheart.” And nothing could compare to the way “Doll” rolled off his tongue.

You quickly saved his number in your phone before calling up your friend, praying that she was free so you wouldn’t have to call Yunho back and tell him that you actually did, in fact, need a ride.

She picked up in seconds, “Hey, babe! What’s up?”

“Hey Ro, you free this morning?” 

You heard an excited gasp, “Yes, please! I don’t care what it is. My mom set me up on another blind date, and I’m like ninety percent sure he’s her pastor’s son. And I’ve met the guy a couple times, and he really gives me the creeps. Please give me an excuse to not go!”

“Rosie, how many times do I have to tell you that you can stay at my place if you need to avoid your mom and her date choices?” 

“Babe, I love you, dearly. But there is no way I am sleeping on that couch of yours. I don’t think Yeonjun could keep it clean if he tried.”

You shrugged, “We could always kick him to the couch.”

“Yeah, not sure I want to deal with that, either.”

“Ok, well I actually need to go pick up his car from the mechanic today. Do you think you could give me a ride?”

She gasped again, and you swear you heard something thump against the floor on her end, “Oh my god! Please please please tell me you went to the shop I suggested!”

You laughed, “I mean, I didn’t really have any other options.”

There's a rushed squeal of joy, followed by the sound of her bedsprings crying out in pain as she launched herself off of it, “Hold on, let me put on a better outfit, and I’ll see you in like an hour, okay?”

“Take your time. There’s really no rush.”

“Oh no no no. There absolutely is a rush. Can’t leave any opportunity for someone to swing by and swoop Mingi off his feet before I get the chance.” You loved her dedication to this, “Hey, by the way…just out of curiosity, what color was his hair while you were there?”

“Uhh, it was platinum, I think,” clearly you hadn’t spent much of your time thinking about Mingi’s hair. Or any part of him for that matter. You had other things on your mind.

Her groan bordered on a moan, “Fuckkk, girl, he’s so hot. I need that man more than I need air.”

“Ok, well, finish getting ready, and then come pick me up, and you can get your fix! Oh! And tell me what kinda coffee you want.” 

“Alrighty!” Her excitement was clear as day in the tone of her voice.

She pulled up to your building a little over an hour later. Looking absolutely stunning. Her hair was perfectly done up, and she was wearing the purple cardigan and white pleated skirt she had bought when you two went to the mall last month. 

“You look cute.” You pulled her in for a hug.

A bright grin pulled at her lips as she squeezed you tight, “Thank you.” She leaned back but held onto your shoulders, “So do you!”

You smiled softly at her, “Really?”

“Yes.” You knew she’d never tell you otherwise, and you truly believed she'd never even considered that she could be wrong. But part of you really needed to hear her reassure you on it today.

She finally let you go after a few seconds and looked around the kitchen, “Where’s the coffee?”

“Oh! Actually the mechanic is getting it for us.” 

Rosie raised an eyebrow at you, “The mechanic is getting us coffee?”

“Mhm. He was actually so sweet yesterday. Drove me home, too, because Yeonjun refused to give me a ride,” You sighed as the events played through your mind, “Jun and I actually got into a huge fight in front of him, and he was nice enough to…check on me after it was all over.”

Her eyes were wide as she grinned up at you, “And he’s buying you coffee this morning?”

“Yep.”

She looked beyond excited at this knowledge, “Is he cute?”

“Rosie.” You glared down at her. 

“What? I’m just curious,” A giggle bubbled out of her throat

“Curiosity should have its limites Ro, I’m in a committed relationship” 

Rosie scrunched her nose and mumbled something under her breath. You couldn’t make it out, but you had a clue. There was no bigger Yeonjun hater on the planet than her. And as much as she tried to keep in underwraps out of respect for you, there was no hiding how deep her distaste for him ran.

But you placed a hand gently on her shoulder, gestured her to the door, “Come on, girl. Let’s go.”

As you pulled up to the shop for the second time in the past twenty-four hours, you couldn’t help but start to feel a little giddy. You fidgeted with your hands in your lap, trying to control your excited anxiousness, but you couldn’t deny the butterflies that fluttered in your stomach when that baby blue pickup came into view. 

“We’re here~” Rosie sang. Flipping down the visor to reapply her lip gloss in the mirror. She flipped it up just in time to see a very sweaty Mingi manually pulling open the garage doors. “Oh fuck.” She turned to you, “Babe, I love you, but will you be okay on your own?” 

The pleading look in her eyes made you giggle. “Go for it girl.” 

She giddily slid out of the car and jogged up to the building, leaving you to gather your things with a bit more apprehension in your step. It would have been a bold-faced lie to say you weren’t nervous. Crushing hard on a stranger when you were already in a relationship made you a little sick with guilt. As much as you and Yeonjun fought, being unfaithful to him was the last thing on your mind. Regardless of how you felt about him, you trusted your own character that much at least.

You watched as Rosie and Mingi talked with each other. The flirting blatantly obvious from both parties. You were so glad to see her enjoying herself. Dating had been a nightmare for her because of her mother’s incessant prying into her life. And it had gotten so much worse as of late. Rosie turning twenty-five last month with still no signs of marriage was turning her mother into a bit of a monster. Setting her up with men with questionable histories just because she knew that they would want to get married fast and give her grandchildren. 

And while you didn’t know him, Mingi seemed like a great guy. He was absolutely her type, at least. She always had a thing for rugged car guys, so maybe his occupation was a sign from the universe herself that he might just be the one.

A knock on the window of Rosie’s car startled you out of your thoughts, making you drop your purse on the floor, tearing your gaze away from your friend. Oh. Yunho was standing outside smiling at you. You pushed the door open.

He tipped his head toward you in greeting, “Hey Doll, how ‘re you?”

“Oh…I’m alright,” you grabbed your purse off the car floor and finally looked up at him. He looked…good. Really good. Wearing another button up flannel and that same fucking beige cowboy hat.

He held a cup out for you, “Your drink.”

“Oh! Thank you.” You couldn’t help the heat rising in your cheeks when his fingers brushed your own. 

He glanced over at your friends who were getting very close as Mingi showed her the engine of a car. Yunho chuckled, “I’ll leave hers on the workbench. I don’t wanna interrupt that.” “That’s probably for the best,” you laughed, following him into the garage. 

He set Rosie’s drink down on the bench, taking the opportunity to lean down towards you, “He’s talked about her a lot, you know?” He lowly whispered in your ear. 

Pulling back, you fought the urge to shiver at his breath brushing your cheek, “Really?”

He nodded, “Spent a long time gettin’ ready this morning, too”

“Well, she was beyond excited to drive me, so I’d say it’s pretty mutual,” biting your bottom lip. Trying to hide how giddy that knowledge made you feel.

You both glanced over at them and saw Mingi’s hand on the lower part of her back as he reached to show her something inside the hood.

“I think that part’s pretty obvious.” He chuckled and turned his attention back to you, “Well, I got ‘er fixed up for ya.” He patted the hood of Yeonjun’s car. 

Your mind was so focused on the proximity of Yunho’s body to yours that you hadn’t even realized that the car was right behind you, “Oh my gosh. Thank you so much, Yunho. This has been stressing me out for a while. I’m so glad it finally got done.”

The whisper of a smile on his lips did nothing to mask the pity in his eyes, “It’s not a problem at all, Doll. You’re an incredible partner for getting it fixed for him.”

An awkward laugh escaped your mouth, “I sure try.”

“You’re doin’ great, sweetheart.”

“Thank you,” you muttered. A little embarrassed by his flattery.

“And before I forget! I gave her a full detail for ya, too.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that…” But your heart fluttered, “What do I owe you?”

He shook his head, “It’s on the house.”

“What? Yunho no. I can’t let you do that.”  You started fishing in your purse for your wallet, “Please let me at least pay you for the work yo–.” You peered into your purse to see nothing but your phone, a tube of lip gloss, and a panty liner you kept on you for emergencies. You grumbled, “I forgot my wallet.”

Yunho laughed, “Then I guess that’s settled.” He swung open the driver side door, “Here, have a look.” 

“Thank you,” you sighed in defeat.

“Oh! Before I forget.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a little pink digicam, “Found this on the floor in the backseat. Figured you might want it back.”

He placed it in your hands and watched as you tentatively flipped it over. Running your finger gently over the power button, but not pressing it hard enough to bring the device to life.

“Let me go grab some paper work, and then you’ll be good to go. Alright, Doll.”

You nodded but didn’t look up, too focused on the weight against your palm, “Ok.”

The cold metal felt unfamiliar in your hands. Its shiny surface reflecting a distorted, pink version of your face back at you. Yeonjun had never been the sentimental type, and the little heart stickers covering the front were not characteristic of him. You rested the beaded strap in your palm, the pearly white and blue glass beads smooth to the touch of your thumb. The name "Camryn" spelled out in bold, white lettering on powder blue hearts.

Yeonjun had female friends, you knew that. They weren’t exactly the quiet sort, their chatter and laughter usually spilling out the windows of Soobin’s car when he would pull up to your apartment. You’d never seen them as a cause for concern. But what would they be doing in his car? Yeonjun never drove himself to gigs or bars or parties. He always had someone else drive him, so how did his friend’s camera end up in the backseat?

Slipping your hand through the beaded strap, you flipped the camera over in your hands. The black screen staring back at you. Your thumb finally pressed the power button, and you watched as the little screen lit up. Flashing a logo at you before the lens pushed itself out and the screen showed your boots below you.

Hesitantly, you opened the gallery. The first photo was a selfie of a girl in a mosh pit huddled close by three other girls who all grinned up at the lens. And as you flipped through the gallery a bit of relief began to creep in. They all seemed to be photos of a girl partying and enjoying nightlife with her friends. But you kept scrolling. 

And you eventually reached a photo of Yeonjun. He was grinning at the camera. Happier than you had seen him in years. You frowned at the photo, trying to recall the last time he looked at you like that. 

It only took two more clicks for you to reach the first video. You pressed play without even hesitating for a moment.

A giggle seeped through the small speakers on the side, the sound coming out muffled due to the camera’s poor quality. A girl, who you assumed to be “Camryn” was placing the device on a table, clearly aiming to film something. You heard a male voice come from behind her but you couldn’t make out any of the words. When she turned around, you could see Yeonjun lounging on the couch in front of her. His arms splayed out on the back of it. 

You took a deep breath, bracing yourself for what you knew was coming next. 

And as you watched the scene play out, your fears were unmistakably confirmed. She slid onto his lap and let him wrap an arm around her waist.You couldn’t make out his voice, but the way he called her “baby” was impossible to miss.

You could feel your heart pounding out of your chest. The video kept playing, and you couldn’t tear your eyes away. The way he held her and cupped the back of her head made your stomach turn. Her jacket fell away, and he pulled down her dress, exposing her bare back to you. He was leaning in to kiss her chest when you watched as the camera fell forward on the table she’d propped it up on. Your view became obstructed but you could still hear the muffled sounds of her moans.

You dropped the camera from your hands, letting it swing as it hung from your wrist. Everything felt so heavy. The legs under you didn’t feel like your own. Everything felt disconnected. You couldn’t stop the shaking in your hands or the bile that rose up in your throat.

It felt as if the floor was crumbling under you, and when your knees gave out, you would’ve tumbled into the cool cement beneath your shoes if it weren’t for the pair of arms that caught you before you hit the ground.

“Woah woah woah.” Yunho’s voice came from above you, “Hey, what’s wrong?” You couldn’t even muster up the energy to look up and meet his eyes.

“Y/n?” You heard Rosie run up behind you. Yunho let her take you into her arms. She saw the camera swinging from your wrist and slipped it off. And seeing the video playing on replay answered any questions she would’ve asked you. “Oh babe.” She pushed the camera into Yunho’s hands and wrapped her arms around you tightly., “I’m so sorry,” she whispered into your shoulder.

Just the comfort and familiarity of her arms around you made you break down to tears. You gripped onto her shirt for dear life. She ran a comforting hand over your hair. Letting you cry into her arms. 

You had no idea how long she held you like that. But when you pulled away, Mingi and Yunho were clear across the other side of the shop, giving you your privacy.

Rosie wiped a tear from under your eye. “I asked Mingi if he could drive the car back,” she refused to even utter Yeonjun’s name, “I don’t think you should drive like this.”

You nodded, “Ok.”

“Do you want to go back now?” She asked apprehensively.

You took a deep breath, “Yes.” You didn’t have any other words. The sadness inside you was fading into anger, and you didn’t want anyone here to see that part of you.

Yunho came back over. He held the camera out to you, “I figured you might want this back. Might make it easier to…confront him.”

Your lips formed a tight smile, “Thank you, Yunho.” You looked up at him, missing the flutter in your heart that his eyes had given you just several minutes earlier, “You’ve been a really big help. I’m sorry you did all it for some asshole who…” You couldn’t say it out loud yet.

He shook his head, “I didn’t do it for no dirty bastard like that. I did it for you, Doll. Because that’s only the smallest fraction of what you deserve.”

You could only muster out another small “thank you” before Rosie was leading you to her car. And you watched as he stood in the garage door and watched you both drive away.

The numbness was starting to wear off by the time Rosie pulled her car into the lot below your apartment. You could feel the anger seeping into your blood as she parked and turned off the car. A million explanations for why your partner of six long years would cheat on you playing through your mind like a broken film reel. 

He’d stopped being attracted to you when your long work hours stopped you from putting as much effort into your appearance as you used to. 

He’d only stayed with you so he’d have a place to sleep and food on the table. 

He was using you. 

He never really loved you.

You wished he’d never really loved you. 

Gently, she grabbed your shoulder to get your attention, “Do you want me to come up? I’ll wait outside the door if you’d like. Or do you want me to wait down here?” 

“Can you just wait here?” 

She nodded and gave your shoulder a light squeeze, “Ok. Call me if you need me. I’ll be right there.” You couldn’t even formulate a response before you slid out of her car. Mute with anger as you rode the rickety elevator up to your floor. Racking your brain over and over and over again for some sliver of a reason for how he could do this to you. After everything you’d done for him and everything he’d put you through. After everything you’d been through together. Memories of the days back in college when you’d spend long nights out together at bars and crash out on the couch in each others’ arms swirling together with the anger swelling in your chest. Making you sick with distress and confusion. 

Where did it all go wrong?

When you stepped through the door, the quiet air of the apartment felt so unfitting for your swarming thoughts. Of course, he was still asleep. 

But not a sliver of your existence cared when you threw the bedroom door open, letting it slam back against the wall. He didn’t stir. In fact, he didn’t even show a single sign of life until you kicked the bed with the toe of your boot.

When did everything you’d given him stop being enough?

He groaned and lifted his head to glare at you, “What the fuck?”

He had to have loved you at some point, right?

“Get up.”

Where did that end?

“Oh god, what did I do now?”

How did those two carefree lovers end up here?

“Get. Up.”

He sat up and reached into the nightstand for a shirt, “Will you save the nagging for one fucking second? I have a headache.” He pushed himself up from the bed with a huff, striding past you to get to the kitchen, “Is this about yesterday? I don’t want to talk about that right now. Not like you ever fucking listen to me anyway. All high and mighty think you’re better than me beca–” 

Every bone in his body froze when he saw the camera sitting on the kitchen counter. He snapped out of his daze, realizing a little too late that you’d followed him out of the bedroom, and had been staring at him from across the counter. Watching his whole body stiffen in place.

Guilty. 

“Who is she?”

“Who the hell are you talking about?” 

Liar.

He wouldn’t even look you in the eye. Gesturing vaguely at the dusty pink digicam. “What even is this?” 

“I am not in the mood to play stupid games with you. Who. Is. She?”

“Do I have to say it twice? I don’t fucking know.”

Did he think you were an idiot?

You slammed your hand down on the countertop, trying to stop yourself from screaming for the neighbor’s sake, “Will you fucking stop!? Turn around, look me in the eyes, and tell me you’re not fucking cheating on me!”

Maybe you were an idiot.

His shoulders slumped in defeat. “She’s just a groupie. Comes to our shows sometimes.” He turned to you, mood shifting to desperation, “It wasn’t anything serious, I swear. We never did more than kiss. She doesn’t mean anything, baby please.”

An idiot for buying into his apologies and excuses for so, so long.

You were thankful in that moment that you were still too numbed by shock to cry. A bitter laugh bubbling out of your throat instead, “A groupie? You don’t fucking have groupies, Yeonjun. And there is practically a sex tape on that camera. Don’t play dumb with me.”

“Shit, baby, come on. I’m sorry. It really didn’t mean anything. I was just drunk and stupid and got caught up in the moment.”

You were done. 

“Stop! Stop lying. Stop making up excuses! I don’t care! You cheated on me Yeonjun! That’s the fucking issue here!” You paused to take a deep breath, “I don’t care why. I don’t care what the circumstances were. I don’t care how bad you feel. I care that I’ve spent six years making sure you have a roof over your head and food on the table without you ever having to lift a finger, and instead of a ‘thank you, baby’ all I get is you fucking around with other girls.”

He grabbed your hand, and you let him bring it up to his lips and kiss your knuckles. Beyond numb to the feeling.

“We’ll work this out, baby. I swear. I’m so sorry. I’ll help out around the house! And I’ll start looking for a job I swear.” 

You nearly scoffed. 

“That’s great, Yeonjun,” and you saw him get excited at the prospect of winning this, “But you can do that somewhere else.”

Panic rose in his eyes, “Baby, no. Come on! We can work through this.” His hands started shaking as they held your own, “I can’t lose you.”

“I want you gone by tomorrow afternoon.”

“What?” He froze, “What the fuck? You’re kicking me out!? Where do you expect me to go?”

“Fuck if I care. You should’ve thought about that before you cheated on me. For fuck’s sake you should’ve thought about that before you decided to put your pathetic excuse for a band before me. Before us.”

Anger flashed across his face, and he dropped your hands as quickly as he’d held them. “You know what? Fine. You were never anything but a bitch anyway. You never supported me or my music. At least she knows talent when she sees it.” 

The sound you made was more than a little unnerving, laughter ringing through your small apartment. “Nice to know you already prefer her over me. Hope she’s got room for you on her couch tonight.”

He ignored you completely. And you watched as he threw on his shoes and stormed out of the apartment. Slamming the door behind him. You had no idea where he was going, but you didn’t care. It would only take you a couple of hours to pack up all his stuff, and maybe you could leave it at the curb so he’d never have to step foot in your home ever again.

But as his footsteps faded down the hallway, silence enveloped the small space. You could feel the anger collapsing in on itself.. The pain you’d been bottling up for the past couple of hours finally overflowing. And the man who you’d spent years of your life trying to “fix” couldn’t have cared less about anything you did for him. 

He couldn’t care less about you.

And as you sank to the floor of your kitchen, you felt the weight of all the time and energy you’d wasted on him. Of all the tears you’d shed and money you’d spent. All the love and youth you’d given. And you knew deep down it was as much your fault as it was his.

ok cowboy: @saintriots @ateezswonderland @fairyofhueningkai @acetyu @kyeomofhearts

@mimikittysblog @pale-hummingbird @deadbabiesmom @moonlightgrleric @cheriediosa

@afetepositivamente

general taglist: @swimmingkpopblog @oddracha @drinkingrumandcocacola @minaateez @funnyvxlentine

@sunnysidesins @skzdust @princelingperfect

ateez taglist: @certifiedmoa @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @curiousgworge @hyukssunflower @hotteokisms

@sushiinmidnight @atiny-dime-p1ece @mismatchfluffysocks @vic0921 @vampzity

@breadpuddingboys @woolysium @desirehorizon @im-ovulation @pommelex

@dancingwithdeities @maidens-world @jycas @kirbrary @aftertherain-atr

@staytinyinmybpack @m4n4-s4m4 @jjcanwrite @yvnhoos @uninterested-ghost

@yizhou-time @shinyj3lly @kyeos4ng @prettygirlslietoo @miriamxsworld

@tiny2018 @ttdogsworld @kejingken @fandom-freak-geek @painted-hills

[letmebeyourcrrsh]

can't just forget

bully!seungmin x reader

warnings: just a few scenes of teasing to evil jokes, some curse words

genre: enemies to lovers

summary: you and seungmin hate each other. since day one in college, he choose you to be his target. no matter how bad you try, you cant even escape him. until one day, something in him had changed…

every hallway at college felt like an obstacle course for you. and it wasn’t just because of the usual school drama or the random students judgy faces—it was seungmin. seungmin, with his cruel teasing, who made sure that every single moment you spent at college would ruin your day.

“Y/N, did you seriously wear that?” seungmin’s voice echoed through the hall as you walked past him. he was leaning against a locker, surrounded by his group of friends, all of them waiting for his next punchline. “you do know that no man would ever look at you, looking homeless like that, right? you look like you just rolled out of bed.”

laughter erupted from his group. it was always the same. it didn’t matter what you wore, how you looked, or how hard you worked on your assignments. seungmin found a way to poke fun at everything you did.

“shut up, seungmin,” you muttered, your eyes fixed ahead as you tried to escape his gaze.

but that only seemed to encourage him. “oh, come on, I’m just giving you some advice. maybe next time, you’ll at least try to look presentable.”

your heart pounded. you had gotten used to his teasing by now, used to the way he made you feel small.

you quickened your pace, walking faster, but as you turned the corner, you felt a hand grab your wrist, pulling you back.

 “are you in that much of a rush to get away from me?” seungmin’s voice was more teasing than usual, and his grip tightened, though not in a way that hurt.

you jerked your arm free. “let go of me. asshole.”

seungmin stared at you, the usual smirk on his face, but there was something different in his eyes. for a second, just a second, the teasing facade faltered, and you thought you saw something else—something softer, almost apologetic. but as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.

“fine, fine. no need to get all dramatic. brat.” he let go of your arm and leaned back against the lockers, watching you walk away. “don’t take everything so seriously, Y/N. It’s just a joke.”

a joke. that’s how he always framed it. as though the hurt you felt was just some silly thing to laugh off. but you didn’t laugh. you never did.

that night, you layed in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to push the words seungmin had said earlier out of your head. why did his insults still sting? you hated how much they affected you, how they always seemed to worm their way into your thoughts. you hated him.

all these years you had been surviving him.. it started off as harmless jokes. he used to joke with everyone, every of his classmates, so back then you didn’t take his jokes serious. until these harmless jokes started to get more cruel… often pointing out your insecurities. and not only did you have to deal with his words, but sometimes even with his pranks.. either you walked into the classroom, just for a water bucket to fall on your head. or he even went so far, ruining your clothes with paint. sometimes made you trip here and there…

he just could never leave you alone. and you just cant understand… why you.

the next day, you were walking to your next class when you saw seungmin by the lockers, his back turned to you. You tried to sneak by without him noticing, but of course, he turned just as you passed, his eyes landing on you immediately.

“well, well, well, if it isn’t my favorite Y/N” seungmin smirked, stepping into your path. “why looking so serious? just not trying to make your life more miserable than it already is?”

you narrowed your eyes. “what’s your problem, seungmin?”

he tilted his head, his smirk fading slightly. “what’s my problem? I’m just calling you out, that’s all. am tired of the way you act. you literally should be happy I am wasting my time on you.”

you felt your temper rising, the words you had held back for so long threatening to spill. “if you’re so tired of me, why don’t you just leave me alone?”

“because you're always so boring. that attitude, it gets under my skin. makes me want to—”

before he could finish, you cut him off. “what is it you want, seungmin? what do you get from making my life a living hell?”

“just shut up, Y/N. I don’t have time for your whining. you’re always so dramatic.”

you stared at him, feeling both furious and confused. “I don’t get you, seungmin. I don’t get you at all.”

with that, you walked away, leaving him standing there.

a long time had passed. everyday it kept going as usual…seungmin teasing you, not leaving you alone, literally just being a pain in the ass.

until one day.. you couldn’t take it no more. there had just been to much of seungmin. so much, that you literally couldn’t leave your dorm no more. you had called in sick. and had stayed in you room like this for almost 2 weeks now. everything that had been learned in the day, was send to you by some classmates. you just studied in your room, really couldn’t step out to face seungmin no more.. until you couldn’t call in sick no more.

it was pure luck… you returned back to classes, and seungmin wasn’t even there today. Best day ever. however, later that afternoon, as you sat in the library trying to focus on your studies, you felt a familiar presence. you instinctively turned your head, only to find seungmin standing at the edge of the table, his gaze fixed on you.

“what do you want?” you asked, your voice icy.

seungmin hesitated, his lips parting as though he was about to say something, but the words caught in his throat. “I just wanted to apologize,” he finally mumbled.

you blinked in surprise, chuckled in disbelief and glared at him. must be another prank now. “you what?”

seungmin shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “I’ve been an idiot. I don’t know how else to say it.”

you stared at him, with even more hate now... “you’ve been hurting me for YEARS. and now you want to apologize? quick this shit. I aint playing along with another prank. just leave me alone seungmin! you keep ruining my life! I. hate. you.”

he looked at you, his eyes dark with something you couldn’t quite decipher. “when you disappeared- I really thought I went to far.. and- and i- I was worried, because you were just suddenly gone, and I didn’t know what happened- and I started to feel extremely weird because what if..-,” you interrupted him with a laugh. “ if you thought I would do something to myself just because you moron have nothing better to do, than to ruin my life, then you are wrong. “

 “I am sorry- I just don’t know how to deal with... this. with you. with how I feel.”

you groaned. “what are you talking about?!”

seungmin sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean to hurt you like that, but I... I like you, Y/N. and I know it sounds stupid. I’ve been making you miserable because I’m too afraid to admit it to myself. I thought it would be easier if I would be hurting you.. I thought it would just stop with the feelings- but when u disappeared. it drove me insane, knowing I am one who actually causes a lot of pain.”

 “wait, what?” you stammered. “you like me? seungmin.. do you even hear yourself!?”

seungmin nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor in embarrassment and guilt. “yeah. I know it sounds horrible, but I’ve been... so stupid. I’ve been so terrified of it, so I made you hate me. I thought if I made you mad enough, maybe I wouldn’t feel this way anymore.”

you stood there, stunned. you didn’t know what to say. you only wanted to scream at him for everything he’d put you through, for the pain he caused, for the way he always made you feel small.

 “I don’t know what to say,” you finally whispered. “you’ve been horrible to me, seungmin. really horrible. I don’t know how to just... forget all of that. I cant forgive you. cant just pretend everything is okey. I only want you to leave me alone. forever. I truly hate you seungmin. ”

this is the end of this part!! but dont worry. afterall this is enemies to lovers

Part 2

[artist-issues]

BAM SURPRISE you are the head writer at Disney or whatever (the entire corporation for all their companies and movies, not just Disney animated) for one week and anything that you do during that time cannot be changed/altered later. What are you doing

Oh geez

Okay, besides torching all the sin-affirming stuff they do—

I would mandate that no more Live Action Remakes be made. Like, ever. I would cancel all upcoming sequels. I would force only Walt Disney Animation Studios and Pixar Studios to work on new animated films coming out—no utilizing the studio in Vancouver or outsourcing the work to AI or Japan or anywhere outside the U.S.

I would do that in the hopes that the animators who understand our specific culture would be forced to meet the challenges posed by new projects, instead of taking computer-generated-AI shortcuts to solving hard-art problems. And, when they make a movie that takes inspiration from other cultures, it forces them to learn about those cultures, themselves. Then, when they make movies, their unique American-in-Fill-in-the-Blank-Culture perspective adds depth, flavor, and my favorite thing, earnestness, to the design of the movie.

Next! I would hire Chris Sanders back. I would pay him literally anything he wanted. Probably by selling all our holdings in Marvel, because Marvel is dead as a doornail.

With that cash flow I would also LOWER THE PRICES TO GET INTO DISNEY WORLD AND DISNEY LAND. The prices get lowered. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care if the whole company goes belly-up because I did that; I would drop the prices considerably to get into the parks. And to get Resort Packages. And then I’m jacking up the prices for the overseas parks.

Know what else I would do? Fix the Yeti in Expedition Everest, add the Hatbox Ghost into the Haunted Mansion, and blitz social media telling everyone about it. While I’m there I’ll make a post about how we’re destroying Genie+ and the Lightning Lanes. Utterly gone. Nobody gets to purchase cut-in-line time slots. Everybody waits in line together. Because guess what, forcing the normal-people line to completely halt while you let traffic from the gave-up-my-firstborn-to-purchase-a-faster-line-experience line go first every three minutes is CAUSING the wait times FOR BOTH to get LONGER, tricking people into purchasing “faster” line experiences that are actually still horrifyingly slow, and ruining the already-overpriced day for everybody involved.

Ahem.

Meanwhile, we’re getting that money back, because I’m putting Chris Sanders on a brand new project; he’s going to pitch me two ideas. One idea is all his own, it can be anything he wants. The other has to be an adaptation of The Firebird fairy tale. But he can be as liberal as he wants with the details, like he was for Beauty & the Beast.

He gets to direct his own, obviously, but since directing two projects would be really hard, I would bring in Roger Allen and Rob Minkoff to handle The Firebird.

Once we have the money, I’m funding four new projects in Disney World. The first is, Pizza Planet is becoming the new restaurant at Disney Springs.

The second is, the Rock n Rollercoaster is getting replaced by Phineas & Ferb’s coaster—just in time for the new season to come out on Disney+!

The third is; Avatar: The Way of Water-themed Resort which connects to the park, but guests may only cross over into the theme park during special After-Hours, when regular guests have had to leave because it’s closed. But it would be over the water, and have its own water park.

There are those indestructible glass windows making holes in the floor and the sides, and the rooms are all suspended over real water (with carefully-constructed foliage so that even though it feels open to the air like in the movie you actually have complete privacy, nobody can see into the rooms. And we’ll add curtains for the faint of heart, whatever) The windows in the floor double as screens which you can turn off or on; if the screens are on, a randomized animated loop fools the eye so that every once in a while, Avatar characters and marine life swim by or interact with guests.

Fourth thing in Disney World: additions to all the lands they’ve hobbled together in the last twenty years.

For example, New Fantasyland gets a Tangled ride where you’re following Rapunzel’s hair trail through the environments of the movie, and you and Flynn Rider are trying to catch up to her; but at certain crossroads the people in the vehicle can choose between multiple paths for your ride vehicle to travel down. This way, you and your party can be racing one another, so there’s an element of competition like there is in Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin.

Also! Galaxy’s Edge gets walk-around droids, two new hangout-style open-air restaurants, and an elaborate playground area made up of of nets, rope courses, and simple alien animatronics like you’re exploring a Resistance Base that was constructed by Ewoks.

Dinoland U.S.A. Is scrapped (except for the Dinosur Ride which is relocated) to make room for The Pridelands. You heard me. You thought I was going to say Zootopia, but no, that’s not jungly enough for Animal Kingdom.

The Pridelands has another the-most-elaborate-playground-in-the-world section, which is huge and sprawly, and full of things like fake tunnels which connect to the hollow skulls of elephants in an elephant-graveyard section, with screens made to look like windows that peer down into the geyser-bubbling lair of Scar. And of course there’s a Pride Rock, but it’s made like Rapunzel’s tower, so it looks far away in perspective, and occasionally an animatronic Zazu hops out onto the ledge, looks around, and hops away, or Simba prowls out, roars, and backs up out of sight again. Like a giant incredible cuckoo clock.

There are three rides to start with. One is a zany Timon-and-Pumbaa ride/game where you’re basically doing the Space-Ranger-Spin thing, looking for grubs. Another is a rollercoaster called “Escape the Stampede” and you’re basically hurtling along as if you’re galloping just ahead of the wildebeest in the gorge.

The third is a walkthrough of the events of the film, but with Avatar-level-advanced animatronics and hyenas come lurching out from behind things to snap at you.

The Pridelands has two restaurants; one is counter-service and it’s called “Timon & Pumbaa’s Grub Hub” and it’s all pasta bars, and Mac-n-cheese, so you can pretend you’re slurping up grubs if you’re a kid. The other is a reservation-only restaurant made to look like the beautiful forest Timon & Pumbaa live in, with built-in waterfall features and a ceiling that changes color and lighting effects to look like a starry sky or a dazzling sunrise depending on the time of day. It’s very atmospheric and the idea is to go on dates there. There’s also live African music.

And we’ll relocate the Festival of the Lion King here, too.

I’d also make a video game that is open-world and online-multiplayer, like Destiny, BUT it’s an elaborate retro-futuristic world with its own story based on Tomorrowland. The story would be impacted by what the players all around the world choose to do in-majority, and I’ll have three or four different routes it can go—but the main thrust of the game’s long, ongoing plot is a metaphor for the hard, passionate work of being innovative versus the dangers of cutting corners to make a profit in the name of “progress.”

For our Live-Action Department, they’re going to be working on a new series of Westerns based loosely on Big Thunder Mountain. It will be a trilogy, and it will star Matt Lanter as the hero, villain-character played by Chris Pratt, and Tim Allen (Tim Allen is Matt Lanter’s estranged father.) When they’re done with that they get to make a Space Mountain movie starring Letitia Wright. That’s what our Live Action Department gets to work on—original dramas based, if anything, on our original theme park attractions that nobody else in the world has.

And for our television studio, Tom Bancroft and his brother Tony are hired to make an animated series called “Escape Schism” and it’s about a young girl who discovers she has the ability to escape her dystopian-future world by jumping through television screens into movies. Each movie is a loose parody of iconic movies in the real world. The catch is, she can only stay in those movie-worlds for one day, and she can only take one object from the movie-world back into the real world after each visit. Other characters include the little brother she’s always trying to protect from the dystopia of their reality, and her older sister who works as a detective for the evil corporation that’s functioning as the government.

It’s lighthearted, it gets great views.

Then I’d hire @doverstar to make a series on Disney+ as a sequel to Lilo & Stitch: the Series. It can be Stitch & Ani.

Then I’d put the guy who did The Lion Guard in charge of Disney Junior, spearheading two new shows—one is a show about Robin Hood and Maid Marion’s life before the events of the animated movie, and the other is an original show called “Gift Shop” and it’s about a gift-shop owner who is actually a fairy godmother, and has to figure out the exact-right gift to give the fairy tale characters who stop by every once in a while. But it’s told from the perspective of her pet owl, Dusty.

Aaaand finally I’d completely destroy the Haunted Mansion movie in favor of a new, three-part television-film, (like the ones they do on SyFy) told from the perspective of the Groundskeeper. In this treatment, a young man named Kyle is terrified of really making the most of his life because of a fear of failure. He made one big mistake and it cost the family their ancestral home when he was a senior in college, and he can’t get over it. He becomes groundskeeper of the Haunted Mansion because of the exorbitant amount of money offered to do the job, thinking it can help him buy back the family house. Instead, he encounters the Hatbox Ghost—who enlists the new Groundskeeper’s help adventuring to break the control Constance Hatchaway has over the 999 Haunts living there. The Hatbox Ghost and she used to be in love. Kyle has to help them solve that in order to free himself from the position as Groundskeeper—but he thinks there’s something the Hatbox Ghost isn’t telling him.

While we’re at it, I’d remake Wish and The Rise of Skywalker. Because nobody can undo what I’m doing but I can undo what they did, right?

[cy-cyborg]

I'm getting a little tierd of the idea because amputees get more representation in media, it means rep for our disability is better and we "have enough"

People are right, we do have way more rep than really any other disability, im not going to deny that, and ive joked before about how often people write amputees without even realising it. So you would think, by sheer numbers, we should have at least some good representation, but by-and-large that is not the case. Legitimatly, the closest example I can think of to point to of good amputee rep is Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and even that uses multiple tropes I hate (the miracle cure/quest for the miracle cure, the almost perfect prosthetic replacement/forgetting the chatacter is an amputee until it breaks or needs repairs, refusal to call prosthetics, "prosthetics" (automail), the amputee who can't do anything without a prosthetic) and they call Ed a slur for another disability (m*dget) CONSTANTLY. I love fmab deeply, it legitimatly helped me feel seen and represented as a childhood amputee in a way no other show has even come close to, and when it gets it right, it gets it really right, but it's also very far from great and should not be the best example I can think of. Especially nearly 15 years after it released...

A big part of the reason why I don't read many books anymore is because of the sheer amount of books with downright offensively bad amputee rep, some of which were touted as good by people with other disabilities and were recommended to me as good examples. others times, I wasn't even looking for books with amputee/disability rep, it just popped up. It has ruined one of my childhood hobbies for me. Ive tried to get back into reading again as an adult but it hasn't gotten better in that time i was away. I was kicked out of 3 different scifi writing groups on facebook and reddit for asking people to remember "cybernetic enhancement" users are amputees - a real group of people, and maybe debating weather or not we're less human isnt great, and for pointing out seeing those discussions every day was making me feel pretty unwelcome in that space (yes i know, "real" cyberpunk isnt trying to say that, i had to turn notifications off on my post about the topic, it doesnt change the fact that newer creators in the genre dont seem to get that bit, that ive seen cyberpunk writers in these spaces say that debating weather people who loose more parts of their body were less human was, in fact, their intent but they hadnt even considered the fact this made their chatacters amputees, it doesnt change the fact that these tropes, intentionally or not, help make those spaces hostile for disabled fans/creators, especially amputees).

But yeah, I should be thankful I get more rep than other disabilities, no matter the quality, right?

It doesn't just stop at being me being made uncomfortable, though. The sheer, overwhelming amount of amputee chatacters with "perfect prosthetics" has had a noticeable impact on how we are perceived irl. In my lifetime, the general idea people have about multi-limbed amputees in particular has gone from "literally the worst thing that can happen to a person and the worst disability to have" to "is it even a disability? The prosthetic fixes it". These are both wildly untrue and harmful ideas about my disability that were both perpetuated by media, but now that the second one is taking root, it's causing real problems. I have not been shy in talking about how I have to fight to maintain my NDIS funding every time I get something done with my prosthetics, and had to get my prosthetist to sign off, twice, that my fancy prosthetic knee that costs the same as a higher-end new car ($125,000 AUD) is not, in fact a cure and I still need help with other things. It took me nearly 2 years to get a new wheelchair because they didn't understand why I needed it if I had the prosthetics - which to be honest, is not comfortable for me to wear, let alone use all day every day. Guys this isn't just assholes on the street or on twitter saying dumb shit, it's the people in the government body who decide how much funding I get to help with my disability who beleive it. People who have very real control over my life. It's not entirely the media's fault, but when the sheer, overwhelming majority of representation for people like me confirms that belief, it's hard to ignore the possibility that these portrayals are contributing to it, you know?

Which makes it so frustrating when I come on here and see other disability writing advice blogs saying to not write amputees because they have so much representation already. We do, I can acknowledge that, but the vast, vast majority of it is shit, and no one, not even other disabled people, are listening to us about it. And what makes it even worse, is the people they're advising to not writing amputees are the creators who care enough to be doing the research. They're the ones willing to listen, to ask questions. They could be the start of the positive change. But instead they're advised to not even bother with us.

And don't get me wrong, other disabilities ARE under-represented. There are so many disabilities, including some I have myself, that I've never seen represented as anything other than the butt of a joke. There does need to be more reprentation of disabilities other than amputation and limb differences. 100%! but can you please talk about that without saying "amputees have enough"

This isn't even touching on how amputees/people with limb differences who dont/cant use prosthetics, or even folks who use prosthetics sometimes but not others, are almost never represented unless it's for pitty-porn, or how the non-fictional media's (news outlets, etc) portrayal of amputees in particular is used to justify hurting very real, very vunderable people but this rant is long enough and honestly, ive got enough thoughts to make whole other posts on those subjects. That second one in particular deserves its own (more thought-out) spotlight and shouldn't be a footnote in a frustrated rant post lol.

[andyoullhearitagain]

Every Odo Costume Ranked From Worst To Best Part 1

Odo looks terrible 75% of the time and it's not bad costume design, it's true to the character! But it does test me.  Here's everything he wears definitely ranked.

19. Cardassian Uniform:

It is NOT a good look for him.

18. Seasons 1 and 2 Bajoran Security Uniform:

The original Bajorn uniform is SO UGLY you guys. I understand that it's meant to be beige and unattractive to reflect Odo's discomfort with his appearance and his general state as an awkward stiff guy but, oh man. Boy does it achieve that. It's just so unflattering and it makes him look so old and I hate it.

It has so many fit and construction problems, you guys.

17. Makeshift Blanket Poncho:

I literally think he looks better here than in season 1. Also his hair looks better!

16. Klingon Odo:

I almost forgot about Klingon Odo because while I like Klingons in episodes, I don't like Klingon Episodes, you know what I mean? And Odo would be the very bottom of my list of people to go undercover as a Klingon, I don't care if he IS the chief of security. But he does have the face for it, I have to say.

15. 200 Years in the Future Odo:

Ok it's not thaaaaaat bad an outfit but I really cannot with Casual Summer Farmer Odo. It's just not right. It's not what a want for Odo, fashion-wise. Texture of the tunic is pretty.

14. Federation Infirmary Scrubs:

Oh if you get hurt on a FEDERATION ship they give you a non-stupid outfit, huh? It's cute, I'd lounge around the house in it. Is it insane to rank this above Future Odo? Maybe, but I just think it suits him better.

13. Season 3+ Bajoran Security Uniform:

Oh thank god. They fixed most of the fit problems, mainly by adding padding in the chest and shoulder and eliminating some of the shaping in the side front.

And I don't mean padding like they're trying to change his shape, I mean padding as in they've made a suit coat correctly. They also added a high collar. I don't know WHY they repeated the mistake they made in TNG where they started with crew necks (near universally unflattering) but at least they fixed it. It's still a frumpy, insecure look but it feels much more appropriate. Love that Odo always makes his sleeves too long. 

12. Umpire Odo:

This look absolutely gains points because of how much Odo's enjoying it. And that's the most important part of an outfit! He's serving Dadcore.

Do you think the mask is part of him or do you think he wore a real one because It's The Rules? If he got hit in the face with a baseball would it hurt? Important questions.

11. Season 3 Bajoran Security Uniform But With A Belt:

Odo wore this belt for like six episodes and then Kira said she liked it right before she started dating Shakkar, ruining it for Odo forever. May it rest in peace.

10. Mirror Universe Odo:

I really think they could and should have gone harder on Evil Sexy Odo, but unforch he's just wearing the season 3 uniform in black. It is nicer than the brown though so it ranks higher! When you see the costume in full light it's actually got some nice texture.

But Terok Nor is the darkest place in the galaxy, so for most of the episode it looks like this.

Part 2

[redplanetlobster]

As I have finished reading CoO, I have spent even more time thinking about teeth. Here's the hcs that I currently have for the Batfamily.

Dick: To put it lightly his teeth are fucked. Not only are his teeth fucked, but his entire jaw is messed up. Getting teeth implants at like age 5 really messed with the structure of his jaw. After the events of The CoO Dick went to a new dentist (because the last one must have been a plant from the Court) and learned that his options were basically reconstructive surgery that may not actually fix the problem and getting a properly sized implant or just living with it. Dick decided to just live with it. Now though, he literally cannot eat food above or below a certain temperature. Any food that isn't basically room temperature will put him out of commission with a jaw ache for at least 2 hours. At least once a week he pops two ibuprofen and downs a bowl of ice cream. The ibuprofen does nothing.

Jason and Cass: Both are genetically missing teeth. Cass is missing 2 molars on the right side of her mouth and Jason is missing his wisdom teeth. Cass will constantly grumble about how unfair it is that he got that lucky. While Jason was gallivanting around the world learning how to be the Red Hood without a care in the world, Cass had to be ambushed and knocked out in order to get her into the surgeon's chair. While the rest of her teeth are grateful that the sideways growing wisdom teeth are gone, Cass has vowed to never go back. The implants for her missing teeth that Bruce has scheduled for her when she's 25 may put a damper in that plan.

Kate and Tim: They have perfect teeth. Like they have 32 teeth in their mouths, perfect teeth. Kate likes to hold this fact over Bruce's head and Tim likes to hold it over Damian's. Tim nearly got strangled by Steph once for truthfully stating that he's never had a cavity.

Bruce and Damian: They have very small mouths. This leads them both to almost constantly needing to have a tooth pulled for one reason or another. When Jason informs Damian that that means he'll probably have to have braces and then a retainer for the rest of his life, Damian immediately renounced Bruce's heritage like that would save the rest of his teeth. This leads to a good week-long endeavor where everyone (except for Jason and Dick) had to convince Damian that it wasn't the end of the world that he'll have braces. Jason's not allowed to help because he stated the whole thing and Damian currently tries to kill him on sight. Dick's not allowed to help because when informed that Damian was trying to find a dentist who would implant his pulled teeth back into his mouth, Dick sat him down as explained in detail why getting implants before your 21st birthday would be an extremely bad idea. It ends up being a tag team effort between Bruce and Steph that finally explains to him that 'no braces aren't the worst thing in the world' and 'yes, your mother knew I wore a retainer to bed. No, it did not affect how she saw me (I hope)'.

Duke: As a kid, Duke would refuse to touch any of his loose teeth and had to get nearly every one of them pulled. When he moved into the Manor he walked in on Jason, Steph, and Dick (with Tim looking on in horror) talking about all of the weird ways that they've lost their baby teeth. Duke makes a comment about having never lost a baby tooth under his own power that somehow convinces all of them that he has the wildest stories for losing teeth. Both Steph and Jason accept it silently and don't ask any follow up questions. Tim and Dick, however, are determined to get every story from Duke. Duke ends up asking Babs to hide his dental records from the both of them.

Steph: She doesn't know exactly what is up with her top second incisors and her top canines but her dentist's current theory is that they've just switched places. She also had braces to bring her widely spaced teeth together in order to make space for her wisdom teeth.

[mythals-whore]

Solas & the Flood

I made a post the other week with some of my thoughts on Solas, (the solas arc?) and genuinely this man haunts me. No matter what you think about his motivations or whether he was right, he is deeply complex and extremely well written. I love him, he frustrates me, I want to punch him in the nose and then give him a big hug.

That’s my disclaimer.

Now.

I’m going to get biblical (a bit) bc I cannot stop thinking about Solas as a god.

My last post was talking about the trolley problem and how the ancient elves or more specially, the world/culture of the ancient elves is dead and buried and Solas is trying to resurrect it.

But I was thinking, and I think the actual BEST analogy to what Solas is trying to do is the story if Noah and the Arc. And now that I’ve had the thought in my brain, I’m sure this has come up in fandom before, I actually cannot imagine I’m the first but I haven’t seen it so I AM MAKING THE POST.

Solas is playing god (sorry, this is indisputable to me. Argue if you want but I will not be swayed). He woke up in a world that was fucked up, to the point where he didn’t view anyone as a real person.

AND YES: there’s less magic in the world, mages are locked up for literally existing, spirits have suffered, the history of the ancient elves is forgotten, elves are enslaved and mostly live in poverty. etc. etc. The world he wakes in is a bad place.

So he decides to do what God does in the Bible(essentially):

“The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time. The Lord regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled. So the Lord said, “I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created—and with them the animals, the birds and the creatures that move along the ground—for I regret that I have made them.” (Gen 6:5 -7 NIV gets bonus points for regret)

And decides to flood the whole thing. Bonus points for the writers who kept giving Rook the line “drown the world in demons”. Yes, some people will survive (Noah and his family/elves, for sure I guess? unclear) and we’ll just make a new world (/restore the old world) bc this one sucks. And this one will be better because I say so.

Solas woke into the world he created and decided it was wicked, and he had to fix it by destroying it (sorry, won’t argue this, it’s in the text). He knows he’s destroying the current world/their way of life. He’s trying to remake it. I do genuinely believe he thinks that is the right thing. And he’s just so tragic to me because he (unlike God in the Bible) lives among people. Learns that they are good, and worthy. He makes friends and, in some cases, falls in love. But instead of allowing himself to live and experience the world, and try to fix it in small ways, he forces himself into “i am god so I can fix it” mode.

And it breaks my heart, (and it breaks his btw) because, yes, there is so much evil in the world, but that doesn’t mean we should destroy it and just try again because there will ALWAYS be evil in the world. It’s unavoidable. But in trying to remake the world, you will unavoidably destroy the good in it as well.

GOD literally acknowledges this after the flood.

“The Lord smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: “Never again will I curse the ground because of humans, even though every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done.” (Gen 8:21).

Which to me, begs the question: even if we were given the option to let Solas tear down the veil, wouldn't the world just be fucked up in a new way?

Lots and lots of people would die, but he's done it. The veil is down, the elven gods are gone and for arguments sake, the Blight is no longer an issue. And say Lavellan lives, as do most of Solas's friends. But that doesn't just fix all the injustices in the world.

Not all of the Tevinter magisters are dead. The ones who know how to bind spirits and demons and use loads of blood magic? Those guys are fine. But Solas probably just accidentally killed a bunch of Shadow Dragons and, inadvertently, the slaves to those magisters who probably use them for blood magic. The raw magic will probably set off some artifacts in Arlathan, likely killing a portion of the Veil Jumpers, who are the only modern elves to even attempt to learn how to use all this technology. Bringing down the veil will not make matters for southern mages better. They're so scared of their own shadows that they're just as likely to fight the spirits they see as accept their help. southern Templars (assuming they still exist in your playthrough) will probably start killing mages on sight if they even survive.

He brings the veil down, but everything is still bad. Or even if it's not, it will get there. Eventually. Unavoidably. And maybe, just maybe Solas would realize that he’d made a big mistake AGAIN.

Regarding my last post, because I suppose i would like to amend it somewhat in hindsight: it’s not about whether you think he’s right about the world being fucked up. Solas is right. The world is fucked up, but I fundamentally disagree with him on how to fix it.

(This is where we get into some real world feelings and why this feels so important to me that I’ve written this whole ridiculous thing)

You don’t fix a fucked up world by destroying it. You do the work. You look a the world and you go “this is really fucked up” and you find ways to fix the things that are broken. You join advocacy groups, campaign for a candidate you believe in. You spread kindness in your community where you can. Be a light. Which, by the way is basically the Shadow Dragon slogan. You know, those guys both running the underground railroad and working in the imperial senate to try to abolish slavery in Tevinter?

I could really get into how this complaint I keep seeing about everything being too sanitized and how potentially it's just the world healing and people trying to be better (Isabela, hello?) but I digress.

TL;DR, I think this whole thing frustrates me so much because I think that fatalistic take is just so sad, but also I understand it but also I just feel like he could have found a better way if he was willing to put in the time and effort.

Also, some stuff about being God, I guess?

[descendantsramblings]

I have a little idea for Male!Reader x james Hook and morgie

-

Male reader (son of Rapunzel maybe?) Went back in time with Red and Chloe, Hook and Morgie took a certain interest in him cause the boy is a stubborn little thing with a big mouth.

The Reader is mostly annoyed/amused with Hooks flirting and finds Morgies teasing Interesting. Reader is interested in morgie (sorry hook) but the Reader knows he cant put a move on morgie even if he wants to cause that could cause problems with the timeline and the future

Its all just a mess for the reader but he may or may not become weak at one point cause lets be honest- who can resist a Dork that acts like a golden retriever.

Having the Morgie boys be some of the main people in my inbox is literally my favorite thing. I love him so much, this is wonderful.

In Another Life

Morgie le Fay x Time traveling!Reader/James Hook x Time Traveling!Reader

Pronouns Used: He/Him/His

Summary: When Rapunzel’s son is dragged back in time by his childhood best friend he finds himself the object of two villains’ affections.

Warnings: suggestive comments, crying technically, minor swearing, a few words in German, bad ending, mentions of death, the reader is kinda mean to Chloe in the first paragraph

Word Count: 2.9K

Translations (I don't speak German so I hope this is correct)

hau rein - "see ya", mein sonnenschein - "My sunshine"

    “How was I supposed to know that I’d get us sent to the past when I grabbed you? You have to forgive me at some point!” The blue-haired girl looks nearly animated in her movements as the argues with him. Chloe had managed to get him thrown into every single negative situation she’d gone through the entire time they’d known each other. But this? This takes the cake. “I can’t believe you! How dare you act like this is just a little spill, we’re stuck here Chloe. Stuck, no going home until some Wonderland kid we just met decides we can. This is not something I’ll just ‘forgive you eventually’ for! I should be at home with my family, not here in a point of time where our country doesn’t even exist yet!” His arms move wildly in the air around him as he yells. The last day with his parents until family day and now he had to spend it with someone else? And he was supposed to, what? Trust a kid who just convicted his best friend’s mother of treason? This was ridiculous. Everyone should know not to trust the person who got your mother sentenced to death to help save their mother. “What about my family? If we didn’t come back then my mom would for sure die.” “No Chloe, not we. If you and Red didn’t. This doesn’t involve me. I don’t want to be here!” “And you think I do?” 

    He turns on his heel, storming off towards the woods behind him. “(Y/n) Fitzherbert! You don’t even know where you’re going!” The boy huffs, waving a hand at her as if to brush her off “Well, guess I’ll just have to get lost!” Normally he wouldn’t be so huffy. But normally normal things were happening to him. Being the first person to experience time travel was not part of his bucket list, he could promise you that. He just needed to clear his head, regroup. That would fix him, surely it would.  The woods felt no different to the ones in his own part of the timeline, though then again, how could they be? They were just woods, just trees and grass and morning dew. It smelt fresher though, as if the air was cleaner somehow. Perhaps it was, the past couple decades had the time to affect the air, would they not? (Y/n) would never tell his friends about where exactly he went when he was alone in the woods, they all assumed he spent his time at the enchanted lake, and he  assumed it was better that way. Some things should get to be secrets, if not he’d never be alone again. He deserved to have his secrets. Everyone did, didn’t they? 

      And there it was, the old shell of a hideout that looked newer now, nicer. Not that it looked nice per say but it wasn’t what he was used to back home. The boy slowly makes his way to the side of the lagoon, jumping from rock to rock as he approached his slice of solitude. It felt like he was where he was supposed to be for the first time in the four hours he’d been stuck in the past. Listening to the familiar thump of his converse on the large flat pieces of stone put him at peace. Maybe for only a few minutes he could be at home, that’s all he wanted. Home, god Red better be able to get them back there. He just needed his taste of it, then he’d go put on a pretty face for Chloe and Red and apologize to his best friend for yelling at her. Of course he would, he always did.

   At home, he was pretty much the only person who even knew about the black lagoon, no one else was ever there. So why would he expect someone now? The two boys sitting in the hideout were a shock to him. How had he never thought about who would have used the place before him? He was smarter than that, surely he was. Had the boys been facing away from him, he would’ve just left. Actually gone to the Enchanted Lake or maybe just turned back to Chloe. That wasn’t his luck though, instead they stared at him nearly challenging him.  Silently but visibly questioning what made him think he was allowed to be in their space.

      “What have we here?” The boy with the darker hair steps towards him, hook swinging towards him in a manner that almost felt playful. “We don’t get many Princes around here. What a surprise,” he slides the dull end of the golden hook down the boy’s cheek, smirking at him, “Come here looking for something, did you?” The seductive tone of the pirate was so thick you’d have to be a fool to miss it. Something similar to how he’d spoken to Chloe earlier when she was more than ready to fight him. No doubt the pirate was just like that. His eyes go over the boy, giving him the up and down twice before scoffing, “Not for you.” Hook drops his arm, stepping back slightly with a brow quirked. “Oh really?” The other boy comes up behind him now, hands resting on Hook’s shoulders as he peers over him at the Prince. “So you’re here for me then?” His lip slots between his teeth as he looks at the boy. Something about the teasing tone Morgie used had his stomach flipping. The smirk on his face was softer, an almost hopeful twinkle in his eyes.  “Come on, Darling, we both saw how you were looking at us back in the courtyard. Who’d you come to see?” Hook crosses his arms as he speaks, shamelessly checking out the Prince. 

    “Actually,” (Y/n) steps away, heading over to that old seashell chair he  adored and falling in it, “I was hoping the place was empty. Shouldn’t you two be in class?” Morgie’s brows furrow, that was his seat, why would he take his seat? “Shouldn’t you be in class, Darling?” Eyes roll back in their sockets as he runs his hand down the fabric of the chair. It was so much nicer right now, going back to the way it was in the future was going to suck now that he knew its potential. “You don’t need to worry about where I should be.”  “Oh no,” Morgie waltzes to his side, perching on the chair beside him, so close their thighs brush as he sits, “Well, you’re in our space and my seat. So I think we do get to worry about where you’re supposed to be.” Morgie's seat, huh? He hums, a smirk on his lips, “If you say so.” “I do,” Morgie lets his eyes shamelessly linger on his mouth, taking in the smirk that seemed to tease him back. This was the closest he’d ever been to a royal without actively harassing them. He thought the stranger would pull away, maybe move from his chair all together, but he didn’t. He simply adjusted in the seat, their legs getting closer as he did, now pressed to each other, solidifying his stance on moving. “Listen boys, you can pretend I’m not here, I don’t really care. I just need a piece of home and this is as close as I can get.”  

     Hook and Morgie share a look, seeming to communicate through their eyes. This exchange student didn’t fear them in the slightest. It was new, almost a rush for the both of them. And in that moment they seemed to silently agree on something. This was going to be their new little game it seemed. Who could get the new boy’s affections first? May the odds be ever in your favor. 

                                                  ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

      Pretending he didn’t know exactly where they were going while walking with Red and Chloe to the Black Lagoon was harder than he thought. Surely if he was too obvious they’d get suspicious. And he couldn’t imagine how they’d react if they knew he’d spent a whole class period with two boys who would help lead to the mess they’d been facing back home. Not that he’d meant to spend time with them, of course not. Why would he? They were villains, or at least they were supposed to be. He wasn’t so sure he could call them that though, not after the way he saw them. How would those two boys, the ones who were teases as best, go on to end up on the Isle of the Lost? How would Morgie end up there at all? Surely it would have to be similar to how the VKs from his part of the timeline did, wouldn’t it? Just a victim to his family line, nothing more. Not that he knew him. Of course one afternoon wasn’t enough to know a person, but the way he spoke, the innocence in his eyes when (Y/n) had confused him a few times, that seemed a little hard to fake. 

     He lags behind the girls as they walk away from the Lagoon, lost in his own mind. Not that they’d notice, too wrapped up in talking about the prank that was meant to be pulled in two days. Chloe being a touch too distracted by the red lipstick painting the other princess’ lips. He took a mental note to tease her for that later, some point where they could all laugh about all this. He could feel eyes on him from behind, pausing to put more space between the girls before him and himself. Whoever was trailing them didn’t need to bother the princesses, he could handle them alone for sure. Left hand reaching for the sword on his hip as two bodies collide with his back. Chests to his shoulders. “Are you following us now, Darling?” “Miss us that much already?” (Y/n) turns to look over his left shoulder first, smiling at Morgie and sending him a teasing wink before turning the other way to look at Hook. Hand falling away from his sword, he wouldn't need it against them. “It seems to me you’re following me, Captain. Considering you ran into my back when I stopped walking and all.” “Touché,” he smirks, putting his hook under the boy’s chin with a smile, “Can you blame me? Watching you walk away is quite the view.” 

   He laughs, stepping away from the pirate and slightly running into Morgie. “You pirates are all so shameless. Ego’s bigger than your ship isn’t it?” “Oh wouldn’t you like to know? You should come ride it some time.” He winks at the Prince, words obviously holding a double meaning that should've brought a blush to his cheeks. (Y/n) laughs, taking notice of the gentle hand that had found its way onto his shoulder from behind. “Oh, I’ve seen the Jolly Roger, she’s not that impressive.” Hook raises a brow, “Oh you have? How haven’t I seen you before, then?” Shit, he hadn’t seen the Jolly Roger while Hook was the Captain. He shouldn’t have let that slip. “I’ve visited Neverland a time or two, guess you just aren’t that observant.” Hopefully it was convincing enough, he turns to the sorcerer behind him, the boy looking down at him. “You would’ve noticed me, wouldn’t you?” He hoped it would help make his earlier words more convincing or at least serve as a good distraction from them. If it hadn’t been so dark, the boy would’ve seen the pink hue drawn to Morgie’s cheeks and ears. The villain silently thanking Uliana for wanting to wait until dark to discuss their plans for revenge, had they done this earlier he would’ve been caught for sure. “Of course I would. Look at you.” It wasn’t as smooth as he’d hoped for, nothing like the line delivery he’d had in the daylight but he could still see a smile play across the Prince’s face, teeth and eyes sparkling in the pale moonlight. 

    “I’d hope so, I like the attention.” He knew better than to play with him like that. Who knew how they’d be changing the future just from a small interaction. Though it seemed that Chloe and Red hadn’t, (Y/n) did learn a thing or two about the Butterfly Effect. He could only hope to all things good that he wouldn’t ruin his own future by just being between the two boys. If he was stronger, maybe he'd move. It was hard not to linger there though, with that sweet look on Morgie’s face and the burning feeling of the pirate’s eyes on him. Boys back home never looked at him like this .Never stared at his lips the way Morgie did, it felt good. And if he wasn’t so scared of changing things, he might have just given in to those half lidded eyes that were locked on his lips and leaned up. Were they as soft as they looked? It was like the other boy could read his thoughts, Hook turning him to face away from Morgie with a teasing smirk playing on his lips,  “If it’s attention you’re looking for, I know a great source.” (Y/n) laughs, shaking his head as he pulls away from both of them. “You don’t know when to quit, do you, Captain? Well, hau rein boys, have a good night.” 

     Morgie hates to admit to how hard he was staring as he watched the prince walk away from him. Eyes locked on the royal strut, he knew Hook’s would be too. It was nearly impossible to look away from him. “What language was that?” He spares Hook a look when the darkness swallows the boy’s receding form, brows raised in confusion. “I,” Hook stops, turning to look at his friend with an equally confused face, “I’m not sure.” 

                                                  ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

    Two days in the past shouldn’t have this effect on him. It’s embarrassing, how did he let a boy he just met get him so wrapped up like this. A boy he couldn’t even have, and yet he was begging for an extra thirty minutes in the past to just say goodbye. Running through the halls of Merlin academy just hoping to see a flash of black and green. He had to say goodbye, he just, he had something he had to do. For himself. Where would a sorcerer whose friends all just got frozen by a magic cookbook be hiding? Where would he be if Chloe had just been frozen? 

    Looking for whoever did it to her. Without a second thought he’d be looking for whoever hurt her. And if Morgie was anything like him, that's what he'd be doing too. So that means, he needed to retrace his steps from the office to Red’s dorm. Running back towards the dorm and straight past it he ends up slamming into a solid chest. Two strong hands grabbing his arms and stabilizing him as the impact almost sends him falling backwards. He looks up to see a pair of hazel eyes that had plagued him for the past two days. He assumes they’ll be haunting him for the rest of his life now. The boy being forever unattainable.  The thought was nauseating.

    “Hey! Careful there, you almost wiped out,” Morgie’s hands slide down his arms, ghosting over the bewildered look on his face, “You okay, (Y/n)?” He didn’t know the boy well, Morgie couldn’t deny that. But he could feel in his heart of hearts that the way the boy laughed at his question was out of character. “I was looking for you actually, lucky me that you were,” he looks at those pretty eyes again, letting out a shaky breath, “Right here.” A pale pink lip slides between his teeth, disrupting the smile that was trying to spread across his face, “Lucky I was, someone had to catch you.” (Y/n) shakes his head, breaking eye contact, “People don’t tend to catch me very often.”It makes Morgie place a single knuckle under his chin, tilting his face back up so he has to look him in the eyes again. “I’d catch you every time. I actually was looking for you too. I needed to ask you something.” 

     The sorcerer had that hopeful look back in his eyes, the one he'd had back in the hide out. It made (Y/n)’s chest hurt. “You did?” He nods, smile stretched across his face as he pulls his hands back to himself, fiddling with his fingers as he speaks. “Listen, I know that it’s super late, considering it’s tomorrow and all, but I was wondering if you’d go to Castlecoming with me? I know we just met and all but there’s no better time to get to know each other right?” He knew from the way the Prince’s face fell that there was no way he’d get the answer he wanted. If he was smarter, maybe he would've run away. 

     “Oh, Morgie, in another life I’d be able to answer that the way I want to.” He frowns, brows furrowing, “Well, why can’t you?” He lets his palm rest on Morgie’s cheek, and despite the fact that the boy’s heart was visibly breaking, he nuzzles against his hand. “You could never understand how us being together would effect where I’m from,” it’s shaky, a slow breath following his words. His voice was weaker than he wanted it to be. “Is it,” he takes a shaky breath, eyes growing a little blurry as he looks at the prince. He thought he was different, that maybe his family wouldn’t matter to him, how silly he was to believe that. “Is it because I’m a villain?” (Y/n) knew better when he leaned forward, he knew better than placing his lips on those pretty pale pink ones. It was a kiss he’d compare to every one that followed. Soft, sweet and sad, a poetic moment that would only ever get to be a memory. He knew he’d regret it when he went home and nothing felt like the lips of the second generation sorcerer. Forehead resting on the other boy’s as he lets out a sigh, eyes still closed because he knew he couldn't look at the boy and get his words out. The way he caught feelings for the first person to show him attention was embarrassing. “Mein sonnenschein, I didn’t get to know you well, but I know you are no villain. In another life I’d be your happily ever after.” Morgie frowns, pulling away from him, “I wish it could be this one.” Eyes opening at the loss of contact, (Y/n) looks up at the boy, his words were doing more harm than good. He knew he should turn away, he needed to get back to Red - to his home-, but tearing his eyes away from the boy would hurt. “Yeah,” he wipes a tear he didn’t mean to let slip, “Yeah, I do too.”

Yeah, there was no way he'd just "forgive Chloe at some point" over this one. No one is supposed to break their own heart.

Find Part 2 Here

[tf2thoughtdump]

TF2 Thought of the Day

Headcanon? Yes.

Character(s)? All the mercs, team not specified but for simplicity’s sake, the red team

Long or Short? Long. This may take a while.

You're free to use any thoughts of mine in any form of media you make.

Thought

This one is real simple, it’s how I think the mercs would handle being given a baby. Enjoy!

Scout

Literally going crazy

Like, about to explode levels of crazy.

Gushing over every inch of this baby from her big eyes to her tiny nose and down to her chubby little hands and feet

Luckily, the little munchkin doesn’t seem to mind his intense energy so it works out

He does his best, but admittedly he is a bit… rusty

The first time he tried holding her, he wasn’t properly securing her head

The second him, he was just holding her upside down

He’s not the WORST merc to leave a baby with, but you have better options.

Soldier

Not really sure what to do with this….

Recruit.

He held her FAR from his body before opting to just tuck her under his arm like a loaf of bread

This didn’t last long though because he eventually found a way to keep her strapped to him with his belt

Uncomfortable, sure, but the baby could care less

She was more concerned with who gave her to this man in the first place

Soldier is your last resort

Pyro

Is most likely to set the baby’s diaper on fire when it gets full

He’s not BAD with a baby, it’s just…

There are so many better options!

They can hold the baby right, that’s not the problem, the problem is the outfit

The rubber, the material in general

Babies need skin-on-skin contact and Pyro.. doesn’t exactly fit the bill with that one

She’s definitely gonna make the baby uncomfortable but it’s nothing a good tickle won’t fix!

Demoman

Why?

Just….

Why?

Did you run out of options again?

Was Soldier too busy so you had to wake up Tavish?

What on Earth could be running through your mind to think leaving a baby with a drunk is a good thing?

He might rock it to sleep, but that’s about all you’re getting

Heavy

Your number 1 go to if you need a babysitter

He’s got three younger sisters! How hard can taking care of a baby be?

You’ll soon come to find out that with Heavy? Taking care of a baby is a piece of cake.

No complications, no fusses, no unchanged diapers

Just Heavy asleep on a couch too small for him, and a baby resting in his giant hands.

Engineer

Also another good one!

Doesn’t have much experience with REAL babies, just his mechanical babies, but he’s sure he can watch her for ya!

Don’t worry about a thing, buttercup, he’s got everything under control

Turns out, he kinda did?

In the time you were gone, he built her a rocking crib

Plus an automatic diaper changer

He’s just a little to busy with machines to be worrying about diapers

Relax though! If the baby cries, he’s putting down everything to figure out what’s wrong and how to solve the problem

Minus the guns in the equation

Medic

Well, uhm..

He’s not a bad baby-watcher!

He will keep that little rascal in his sights at all times! No doubt about it!

He could stare at that baby all day!

Best babywatcher in the world!

But…

This is Medic we’re talking about…

There’s no way this baby is coming back the same baby..

Sniper

Not.. sure what to do?

He’s a bit of a recluse, so he doesn’t hang around people that much

That also translates to him not really being able to understand what to do when given a baby and told to watch her

You know that TikTok audio?

“Your mom told me to watch you, but.. you don’t do anything.”

That’s him.

He takes “watch her” seriously

Now granted, Mick will let her play with his fingers occasionally but is really just staring at a baby in his lap for 2 hours straight and freaking out every time she cries or soils a diaper

Spy

Spy is a neglectful dad

We see that with Scout, so it’s no big surprise there

However, he’s not horrible with kids

He can take care of a baby just fine, change her diapers, feed her, burp her, lull her to sleep and the like

He just won’t be very enthusiastic about it!

If you want your baby to have a good time, pick Scout or Engineer

But if you want someone who actually has some idea what they’re doing, get Heavy or Spy for the job, okay?

[ethanscrocs]

"brutus" (11/25/24)

boys and girls like you and me were contrary even in the womb, he says, and i nod. every detail of my life points to something not quite there, a rushed job with minimal effort. i’ve always been the runt of the litter, fighting for nutrients as i’m shoved back by the crawling of my brothers and sisters. in birth i refused to turn and instead begged for the scalpel and the needle. in childhood i screamed and cried as though i was a woman possessed, in need of an exorcism. and as i grew older it only became more obvious that i wasn’t very good at performance. as i approached womanhood, i became the problem child in about five different ways, i balanced precariously on a wire and prayed i wouldn’t fall just yet. i have spent the past eighteen years of my life careening toward an inevitable end. a star that consumes itself in death, an actress found collapsed in the dressing room after one final performance. i have navigated the world as something less than human, something faulty that was beyond fixing, and i have only hoped i would one day find the piece that would make it all fit back into place, and i could be whole for the first time. if you’ve been graced with a place in the world, you might not understand it. but to machines built like me, there is nothing more horrible than the act of not belonging.

and it’s not really fair, he says, that i’m here, because he was here first - and he does a much better job at performing myself than i ever could. i think i might be inclined to agree with him, but i wonder if he’s not better off. he wouldn’t have been strong enough to watch us crash and burn, the shame would have eaten at him until he couldn’t take it anymore. but me? i might be worse at many other things, but i’m quite good at holding to the steady rhythm i’ve long maintained instead of rocking the boat. and i think i do rather enjoy this life i’ve carved for myself, even if he curls his lip in disgust at the mere sight of me. there are a collection of pieces that i like having clenched beneath my fist, and i’m braver than he is in that regard: if he’s here to provide us with dignity, then i’m here to make sure that we stay afloat. he doesn’t like me, and i don’t really think that i like him either, but at least we have damned ourselves to the mutual cause of continuing our careening path.

i’m sure there are much more broken people than you and me, i say, who have cultivated even greater. if stubbornness has kept me here until now, then i will shoulder that horrible grudge until i find out what draws people to this life, and even if i never find out, then at least they will admire my commitment to my pride long after i’m gone from this life. i’m being haunted - in as literal of a sense as a haunting can get - by a version of myself that wanted so much greater for us. my answers aren’t enough for him, he’s as stubborn as i. but i don’t really pay him much mind anymore. he can grit his teeth and lie in wait, hoping to reach the time when he’s once again needed more than i. and in the meantime, i will continue with my stubborn grip, and i won’t let the perfect machines sneer at the likes of us. i will tell them my brokenness is far more authentic than their functionality will ever be, and they will envy me, and i will wait. my brother will wait, and i will wait for him, too.

[lazysheepgardens]

HEDRIC SMUT ONESHOT

#They're both winners, Top! CD, Bot! HP, praises, porn without plot, randomly wrote this at 2am on a school night, my first ever smut don't come at me, i love them, kinda rough smexy, #needthat, kinda confusing but it's probably my writing style.

Harry was fucking tired.

There'd been many events that had been happening all over at once and it's hard to keep track on all of them. Being a Triwizard Champion made it even more irritating when people constantly ask you about your experience or have random strangers come up to you on weekends during a visit to Hogsmeade, he just wanted a normal year.

Tests, quizzes, reading, reading, quidditch, eat, sleep, can't sleep, try to sleep, Cedric—SHIT!

Cedric is a new additional problem.

That hunky son of a gun.

Cho and Cedric broke up two weeks ago, Harry SHOULD'VE cared but he didn't even bat an eye. He used to like Cho but there's just something off about her that makes his skin crawl. But then Cedric decided to awaken his sexual frustration, always coming up to him trying to strike up a conversation— gods he smells good.

As much as Harry would LOVEEE to have a conversation, his mind was spiraling everywhere and he doesn't want to say something that would hurt poor Cedric's heart—even though he's probably already doing it cause he's literally ignoring him; but it's for his own good!

Finally.

The week was over.

Harry didn't even plan to go to Hogsmeade with Ron and Hermione, thankfully they understood. They knew how stressed he was lately and to be honest, it's quite comforting to finally have normal student problems, not just have—an edgy dark lord trying to actively kill him, am i right? Haha.

Thank Merlin Peter Pettigrew got shot in the head just before he revived Voldemort. Serves him right, that RAT.

Automatically saving Cedric and then winning the cup together. Harry could still feel Cedric's hand grasping his as they walked out the maze and presented everyone with the trophy, it was gentle and had a nice grip all together. All Harry could remember was Cedric's beautiful nicely chiseled face and thick eyebrows with a charming smile looking down at him and rubbing his head with a nice hug that followed.

Damn it.

I feel bad. Harry thought, face flat onto his mattress. Like come on, Cedric and his girlfriend broke up, the latter wanting to talk to Harry and Harry ignoring him- OH THE PAIN! (Overly dramatic)

"I gotta apologize."

After all, he finished all of his tasks, no more pending assignments and he aced every exam— no more hell week!

Harry wandered along the Great Hall, trying to find Cedric but with most students going out shopping, it's likely that the taller male has gone on a spree as well with his friends. "Well, so much for apologizing." Harry sighs, fixing his glasses and rubbing his hair before stretching. "Nhm... I need to relax my body..." Harry muttered.

I'll apologize next time i see him.

Harry went to the fifth floor to mull things over the hot water, "Pine Fresh." He muttered and the doors opened, it's been a while since he entered the Prefect's bathroom, last time he went, he had to take an egg with him for a mission, but now all he wanted was solidarity and peace. Entering the bathroom with fancy tiled floors and beautiful ceilings, Harry took his clothes off leaving his swimming shorts before dipping into the water.

Letting out a sigh, his body immediately relaxed and closed his eyes, feeling the stress leaving his body after days and weeks of exhaustion, eventually thinking about the fact that he only knew this room cause of Cedric.

Gosh when will he ever get out of my mind?! Harry screamed internally.

Harry groaned and slid his body down slightly, leaving his head afloat as he blew bubbles in the water, his eyebrows furrowing, "Dipping all by yourself, Harry?"

FUCK!

He knew that voice, smooth tone and medium-deep octave that would make you feel like you're being lured in by a mermaid, Harry looked up in surprise to see Cedric Diggory himself, looking down at him with a teasing smile, his arms crossed and his pale cheeks flushed slightly.

"Cedric!" Harry yelped, sitting up from his position, exposing his shirtless torso. "Harry, hey." Cedric replied calmly. "How'd you... Where did you come from?" Harry panicked.

"The door, i suppose?" Cedric laughed, the moment Harry turned his head around, the older male had already gone shirtless, exposing his body.

Holy Merlin's beard. Harry stared.

Cedric sat down in the water right next to Harry, letting out a soft sigh and stretched his arms, one arm hanging behind Harry. "How are you?" Cedric asked softly, looking down at Harry who was just staring at him with his big doe green eyes, blinking like he had just received the most shocking news.

Finding amusement to Harry's dazed out reaction, Cedric poked Harry's cheek with the hand that was behind Harry, making the younger one flinch. "Pardon?" Harry asked, "I asked how you are?" Cedric pats Harry's head.

"Oh I'm amazeballs."

"Amazeballs?"

"Y-yeah, i mean- what i meant was i feel great." Harry stuttered, Cedric just nodded.

An awkward silence fills the room.

"Uh, Cedric?"

"Hm?" Cedric hums in reply, subconsciously playing with Harry's hair who shivered but didn't mind. "I'm sorry." Harry voiced out, "What? Why?" Cedric's questionable tone made Harry feel guilty. "It's just that, I realized that I've been ignoring you whenever you try to talk to me, and well, i mean, I should've been more understanding and all, i- I've heard about your uhh... Separation with Cho and like- shit maybe i shouldn't have brought that up but—"

Harry was cut off by Cedric's hand pressing against his lips, "Harry, it's fine. You don't have to say sorry, really." Cedric laughs, "No-! You don't get it, i should've been there for you and stuff and all i did was ignore you and that probably even made you feel even worse and I didn't mean to— well half of it, but it was because i was really stressed last week and I didn't have time cause i was catching up on activities and assignments i missed and—"

"Harry. "

Harry's heartbeat stopped, freezing when he saw Cedric's grey eyes looking into his, softly and gentle, his thick eyebrows relaxed and he had this small smile on his face, his hand was on Harry's cheek, caressing it with his thumb. "It's fine. I'm not angry, i understand, you don't have to explain, alright?"

FUCK HE'S SO DREAMY!

" Still, I'm sorry. " Harry pouts.

Cedric stared at him, his eyes wandering down onto Harry's pouting pink lips, biting his own and trying to fight the urge to just—bite him.

"... Stop saying sorry." Cedric assures Harry, their eyes locked. "Can't i do something to make it up to you?"

Harry, in Cedric's eyes, looked so... Alluring. Fuck he's more gorgeous and prettier than that cheater Cho Chang, more kinder, braver, thoughtful and generous. He's everything. Thank Merlin Cho isn't in the way anymore.

"Don't say things like that."

"What? Say things like what?"

"Like that, Harry."

"I'm just trying to make up for the times that i ignored you."

If you say things like that, there'd be consequences that i might do.

Cedric followed Harry, he knew he was trying to find him, right from the start.

When he and Cho broke up, he didn't give a shit. Not one bit. He couldn't care less.

When Harry told him about the dragons, he knew that he was the one. His.

His relationship with Cho was merely a distraction from the fact that he couldn't keep his hands to himself whenever he and Harry would lock eyes during the Triwizard Tournament.

Harry is perfect.

His long messy hair, his glasses, his sense of fashion, mannerisms, smile—scent.

The younger boy being In front of him right now, half naked, body drenched in water with little droplets falling from his hair, pretty pink perky nipples, his lips, nose, his pale skin, neck. Made him feel super thirsty.

"Alright." Cedric voiced out, his ropes were breaking. He didn't think this would happen sooner. No... He never thought this day would even come.

Sure, Harry ignoring him was somewhat hurtful but after stalking him for a couple of days, he realized how hard working his wife was. As a loving husband, maybe he should take this as an opportunity to let Harry wind down for a bit and maybe also make up for the fact that he was being ignored.

"Yes! So what do you want me to do?" Harry beamed, Oh Merlin, forgive me.

" Kiss me. "

Harry froze, did he hear that right?

"Cedric?"

"You wish for me to forgive you, yes?" Cedric leans closer, "Y-yes but-"

"Unless you don't want to?"

"I want to! Fuck- i mean-!"

Cedric felt surprised at the outburst. Does this mean...

"Kiss me, Harry."

With a bit of hesitation, Harry leaned even closer to Cedric. The proximity between their faces closing, their lips touched softly at first, a bit of pecking here and there, their lips smacking against each other like amateurs. However Cedric had a bit more experience, his hand traveled behind Harry's head and pushed his body closer,  tilting his head to the side to gain more access to this sweet delicacy that is Harry's lips.

Harry let out a small whine at this action, his mouth opening to gasp when Cedric's lips pushed even further, causing him to let out a small mewl. This was heaven to Cedric's ears, the whiny octave that released at the end of Harry's voice was angelic. He wanted more.

He broke their kiss and they both released soft pants, their voices echoing throughout the Prefect's bathroom. Harry's mind felt cloudy yet so relieved, like this was the relaxation his body had longed for.

Cedric didn't even waste any more minutes and gently lifted Harry up to sit on his lap, causing the Griffindor to yelp when the older one wrapped his hands around his hips, the hands didn't move even after placing him in his hold, only moving him closer until Harry could feel Cedric's chest against his.

Harry and Cedric's eyes locked once again, with more passion. "Harry, would you like some more?"

Cedric had to ask, he had to confirm if this is what Harry would like. To make him his.

Harry didn't even hesitate to nod his head while biting his lips.

Cedric felt his walls start to break down, he let out a soft breath and kissed Harry once again, this time, more passionately. Harry kisses back, albeit messy but Cedric adjusts to him and guides him throughout the session, Harry was an obedient one to Cedric's lips, mewling and whining, wanting some more like a greedy little boy in a candy shop. Wrapping his arms around Cedric's shoulders to pull him closer, the Hufflepuff reciprocating his actions and pulling him closer by just grabbing his perky tight ass.

"Mh!" Harry moans out, Cedric knew this was the time for him to enter Harry's caverns, their tongues meeting and greeting each other, their saliva trickling on Harry's chin. Cedric needed more, his dick was throbbing under Harry's ass and it was hurting. His hands that were squeezing Harry's butt forced the younger one to move forward against his pants, the friction made Cedric moan against their kiss.

Harry loved that sound. He wanted more.

Harry moved frequently, eventually riding Cedric against their clothed members, he could feel Cedric's lips move down to his neck, biting him and leaving marks—hickeys. "You smell so good." Cedric mumbled, smiling against his neck, Harry felt one of Cedric's hands on his ass snaked across his exposed torso and moved all the way to his nubs, it didn't help that Cedric also went down to lick one of them, causing Harry to yelp and let out a loud moan—"ahgh!" Before covering his mouth completely, earning a glare from Cedric who looked up at him.

"Don't cover." He demanded. "S-sorry-Ngh!" Harry couldn't finish his sentence when Cedric started to lick and play with his nipples at the same time while squeezing his ass, he could feel the finger of Cedric's hand on his ass attempt to take his swimming shorts off. His mind was hazy and already full of ecstasy and he wanted his dick to be touched.

So he complied. Taking off his swimming shorts skillfully without Cedric breaking his contact with his chest. Gods he could feel Cedric fully, and the older one wasn't even fully naked yet. Cedric's hand sat prettily on Harry's pale ass before Cedric stood up while carrying Harry, the water splashing against the tiles, "Sit here, baby." Cedric panted, setting Harry down on the tiled floor before taking in the view in front of him.

Fuck.

He could feel himself get even harder.

Harry looked so gorgeous like this, fully naked like a virgin model, cheeks blushing, hair messy and eyes clearly clouded, looking up at him with those sparkling green eyes.

He just wanted to claim him right then and there, pound him, rail him harder.

Cedric gently pushed Harry down on his back and made him put his legs around his waist, his arm folded next to Harry as he leaned to look at him face to face, one hand supporting one of Harry's legs to make him open himself more.

"So gorgeous." Cedric breathed out, staring at Harry's delicate features, his fresh hickeys fully on display. He wanted to put more.

He stood up once again and placed pepper kisses along Harry's smooth legs, getting closer to the younger ones abdomen, placing a small hickey and moving along his inner thighs before biting it. Making Harry gasp.

"Let's make love, my wife."

Cedric mumbled against Harry's inner thigh, "C-cedric i-" Harry whines.

"What is it?" Cedric asked, softly. "Please i-... Touch me more."

"Baby I'm taking it slowly, i don't want to hurt you." Cedric frowns. "But i want you, Cedric." Harry whines even more.

Fuck i can't control it any longer.

"Bear with me for a while, i need to prepare you."

" Can't you just put it in? "

" Fuck, being greedy won't feel good if i just suddenly pounded my dick into you, Harry. "

Cedric placed two fingers on Harry's lips to which the latter complied and opened his pretty mouth, coating Cedric's fingers in saliva. "Ready?"

Harry gulped and nodded, Cedric spat saliva on Harry's pucky hole and entered a finger in, feeling Harry's warm and gummy walls with just his long fingers, earning a loud yelp from Harry. "nghH! Ced-"

Cedric immediately puts in the other finger, he could feel Harry clench his walls, immediately leaning over to kiss Harry's cheeks to comfort him, "it's alright, wife. I'm here, you're going to be fine, baby. I'm going really gentle." Cedric assures, before putting in a third finger to which Harry yelped. "Good boy." Cedric praises. "You've done so well this week haven't you? Acing your tests, getting points for griffindor, my wife really needs rest. " Cedric cooes, pushing his fingers in and out slowly while curling them up.

"Ah-ahgh.. Cedric-" Harry clings onto him, he could feel Harry digging his nails on his back, a sense of pride overfilling him. Harry flinched and moaned louder on a particular area he had just touched, realizing that it was his prostate Cedric wasted no time and started to go a bit rougher in that area.

Harry's moans went louder and louder, whining and crying like he was in heat and it wasn't even the most exciting part yet. If Cedric's fingers could make him cum, what would happen if it was the real deal?

Harry's mind was only filled with pleasure and moaned out Cedric's name repeatedly. His eyes closed shut and only then did it open when he could no longer feel the fullness deep in his ass, "what's...?" Harry breathed out and his eyes widened when he saw that Cedric was now fully naked in front of him, was he a god? The tinted window reflected his body perfectly and the rushing water of the tub made him look even more alluring and oh.  It was big.

"What's wrong?" Cedric asked, concerned. "No no it's- nothing-.." Harry blushed deeply, "Do you still want it?"

"Y-yeah, just go slowly.. please..?"

"I will baby."

Harry felt his legs get lifted up and spread out, he gulped when he felt Cedric's monster touch his hole, its head was threatening to enter. " Relax. " Cedric whispered.

As if his words had magic, Harry relaxed immediately and screamed when Cedric pushed inside him slowly, "f-FuCukk!" He moaned out, his back arching and he could feel his eyes roll to the back of his head. "Fuck fuck fuck- Cedric oh-!"

Harry felt like a crazy guy, this is what sex felt? No... this was making love, right?

Cedric pushed further, now fully entering Harry, groaning and he let out a loud moan when the fullness of Harry's warm walls clenched around him. Throwing his head back before stopping. Looking down at the younger one In front of him, already wrecked. "You feel so good." Cedric groans.

"I'm gonna move now, is that alright?"

Harry nodded and bit his lips, "I'm gonna go slowly, tell me to stop if it hurts."

Cedric moved. Finally.

Harry couldn't do anything but just moan as Cedric fully engulfed his hole. Just one move and Harry felt himself cum. Oh how embarrassing. Yet Cedric didn't even care, he found it adorable and endearing. Chuckling, he kissed Harry softly before moving forward again, finding a pace he can maintain to please both Harry and himself.

Both of them moaned in each other's ears, Harry leaving marks on Cedric's back and Cedric leaving hickeys on whatever he could get his lips on. It lasted about ten minutes when Harry didn't find the pace pleasing anymore.

"Cedric more." He whines.

Cedric paused and looked into Harry's eyes. "More? Baby, are you sure?" Cedric panted, fuckin hell if Harry confirms this, i might go mad.

"Please please Cedric? I want more—just- do whatever, take it out on me, i deserve it, i ignored you didn't i? Make me beg for you to stop—OH fuCk!"

Harry didn't even get to finish, Cedric's ropes were all cut out. That was his last straw. He fucking pounded on Harry's ass like there was no tomorrow, hard and rougher, his hands were on Harry's waist and underneath his leg, his cock pounding Harry's perky ass in an inhumane pace, oh fuck how long has he wanted this? To make Harry his and his only, his beautiful amazing wife. His partner.

"AghNHh! aH hAh! C-cedric-! Oh fuck yes that's the spot-! NghhssAh!" Harry couldn't stop moaning, the only thing that filled his brain was Cedric's veiny dick railing him nonstop, "Good-oh! I love th-i-is~!" Harry started to voice out incoherent words and praises directed towards Cedric, he could feel his dick get loose and he was on the verge of cumming once again for the second time and so he did, but Cedric did not stop once.

"Ngh-nH- Cedric- h-honey w-wait waIAh!" Harry felt Cedric slap his ass, harshly yet it felt so fucking good. Cedric flipped him and laid him down on his stomach, dragging his leg towards his direction, Harry's legs now in the pool and his upper body bent down on the tiled floor, Cedric entered him easily once again and all he could hear was their sounds of skins slapping against each other, moans echoing, drowning out the flowing water. "You like it? I'm making you mine, is that alright with- ugh...you?" Cedric groaned.

Harry felt like a whore for chanting out a bunch of " Yes, yes."

Harry relaxed when Cedric stopped fucking his ass, only then did he realize that Cedric had came into him. But did that matter? No.

They both panted heavily, Cedric gently hoisting Harry up who leaned back against Cedric's chest, "bloody hell... That was the most amazing experience ever." Cedric muttered against Harry's neck  who just nodded while hugging him, clearly fucked out of his mind to even reply properly.

"I'll clean you up, I'm sorry." Cedric placed a soft kiss on Harry's temples before sitting down in the water with Harry on his lap, starting his aftercare.

—

Harry, Ron and Hermione walked along The Great Hall, it's finally monday and everywhere else is packed with students, of course, this is inevitable when it's break time. Harry usually doesn't complain when it comes to this but today, he planned to hang out with his boyfriend.

Pouting, he scratches his head in annoyance to the situation and just sugtgested Ron and Hermione go on without him, "What? Where are you going?" Hermione asked, "Mate, you can't be serious." Ron frowned.

"What? I have to go somewhere today!" Harry replies, "Are you gonna cause trouble again? Get yourself in danger? Have a secret plan?" Ron jokes, putting an arm over Harry's shoulder.

"What- No! Of course not, I'm hanging out with someone today. " Harry protested. "Hangin' out? You have a girlfriend or something?" Ron asked with a surprise look on his face. " No, Ron i-"

"Harry!"

"Cedric!" Harry's face brightened, happy to see his lover who rubbed his head and gave him a small hug, "Sorry, it's really packed with students today, it took me longer than usual, i had to round up all Hufflepuffs." Cedric sighs, "it's alright, i was about to find you." Harry assures, earning him a soft kiss on his head.

"Whoa? Talk about surprises." Ron stares, "You and WHO?" Hermione points at both of them. "Me and cedric..?" Harry responds with a questionable look on his face, "since when?!" Ron dumbfoundedly yelps.

[keldae]

Illiteracy

One would think that, in the wilderness, Devi's lack of formal education wouldn't be a subject that would come up. One would be wrong for thinking so. Or: Gale is appalled that someone from a civilized society like Baldur's Gate never went to school or learned how to read properly. He decides he's going to fix this.

It was only the first full day after the nightmare had begun. How had it only been yesterday that Devi, along with so many other people, had been plucked out of her life in Baldur’s Gate by mindflayers, had a tadpole shoved in her eye, gone through Hell (literally), and wound up waking up on a beach in the middle of nowhere? And now she was traipsing through the ruins of some ancient temple that had been taken over by a smuggling ring, with the half-Elf she had encountered on the nautiloid (who was being particularly cagey about whatever object she had retrieved from her pod on said nautiloid), and a knife-happy Elf, and a wizard who’d had to be yanked out of his own portal.

No one back home will ever believe this, Devi thought to herself. Even though she had lived through the last twenty-four hours and gone through this ordeal, she still didn’t fully believe what was happening to her.

In the dim light, broken only by a few torches, she squinted at the piles of books in this chamber underneath the ruined temple. A lot of them had to have been brought in by the now-deceased smugglers – the books were in surprisingly good shape. Approaching one altar on the side of the chamber, she selected a book at random, squinting at the letters adorning the front cover. “The… the c-curse of the… of the…” She scowled at the last word of the title, unable to make heads or tails of it.

She heard footsteps behind her before Gale’s voice spoke as he read over her shoulder. “Ah, The Curse of the Vampyre . An older work, but one still sadly relevant in these tumultuous times.” He took the book from Devi’s hand, gently brushing dust off the cover. “And it looks to be a first edition, too.”

“Huh. I wonder if vampires are a common problem around here,” Shadowheart mused.

“I’ve heard there’s more than a few of the bitey bastards in Baldur’s Gate,” Devi commented. “Robbed a man once that I swear must have been one.”

“If it was a real vampire, you would be dead or turned, yourself,” Astarion sneered. “Not that I have personal experience with them, of course, but I’ve heard stories.”

“First, it’s bold of you to assume that I’d get caught,” Devi retorted, scowling at the pale Elf. “Second, I run fast, and I know about every shortcut in the Lower City!”

“I believe you,” Gale quickly said as he stashed the book in his satchel, raising his hands placatingly at Devi and Astarion. “I don’t need intimate familiarity with you to know that you’re fast and stealthy, Deviali.”

“I told you to call me Devi,” the thief grumbled at the wizard.

“My apologies, Devi.” Clearly trying to get the conversation back on stable ground, Gale looked back at the books. “What else is there on that shelf?”

“Ummm…” Turning her attention back to the books, Devi picked up another volume, frowning at the title. “Uhh… The… the unnn… shit. Umm…”

“... Do you…” Gale hesitated. “... Do you not know how to read? ”

Read the rest on AO3

[nomoreusername]

Dangerously Close (Part 3)

Pairing:Aris x female reader

Summary:Despite the way Aris keeps trying to look after you, you do everything to reject his care.

As Mary worked on Brenda I just sat beside Y/N. Every now and then she would mumble something or completely move on her side before wincing and turning over, but she stayed unconscious. Still, I just guided her every time she moved a little bit so she wouldn't hurt herself.

"You're okay. You're almost fixed up,"I reassured her as she whimpered and flinched while still knocked out. "I'm sure they'll help you,"I promised, patting her shoulder. Groaning louder, she started just barely shaking as tears ran down her cheeks.

"Oh. Good to see you,"Mary said, announcing her presence as she came into the tent.

"Is she supposed to be like that?"I instantly questioned, pointing to her.

"Yeah. She had a pretty bad case which means she'll have a bad reaction to the shot,"She explained.

"She said she had it for three weeks. How could she have had it for so long?"

"There are a few reasons. It could have been a shallow bite, but this definitely wasn't. She could have been a half immune which just means she'd live as a beginner Crank for the rest of her life. She could have just been through so much that her brain is different. If she has been out here for long enough, that's probably the case. She'd have seen, gone through, or done too much for it to kick in like usual. Maybe all three,"She explained.

"That's awful."

"Yeah. It is,"She agreed, pulling out a small kit. "Are you two friends?"She added as she opened it and pulled out what seemed like an alcohol pad. Slightly pulling her shirt up, she got some blood and probably some kind of dirt from her skin. Taking my eyes off it, I just looked at the back of Mary's head.

"I just met her,"I answered.

"You sure do care a lot for a girl you just met."

"She doesn't look like she has anyone else,"I pointed out.

"No. She probably doesn't,"She agreed as Y/N made another pained sound. Grabbing something else from the case, she put some kind of gel around the bite before pulling her shirt down again.

"So what now then?"I asked as she closed it and stood up.

"Now we wait. You think you can look after her for a little longer?"

"Yeah. No problem,"I agreed. Patting my shoulder, she thanked me as she left us alone again.

"So you're probably the third option, aren't you? Probably with all three too?"I asked as if she was going to answer. Even if she could though, she would probably tell me to go screw myself or something.

Seeing as I wouldn't be getting anything from her, I just moved her on her back as she tried to lay on the bite. Wincing, she mumbled something before slowly opening her eyes and sitting up.

"Why the hell do I hurt?"She mumbled, reaching for her side. Grabbing her hand, I stopped her from doing so. "Why are you here?"She asked, sitting up more.

"I was just making sure that you're okay."

"Well, that's a waste. Don't you have friends?"

"Yes, but I wanted to look after you,"I explained. Shaking her head, she mumbled something before putting her legs over the bed and just sort of gazing through me. "You look,"I trailed off, trying to think of something to make this less awkward.

"A little better."

"Like hell."

"You look a little better,"I repeated.

"Well, that's a stupid thing to lie about,"She mumbled.

"I'm not lying."

"So you're saying I look good?"She asked with a look I couldn't comprehend.

"You look better,"I repeated, not going along with whatever that was.

"Thanks, city boy."

"I'm not from the city."

"Well, it would have been helpful if you were. That's my next destination,"She shrugged, standing up and stretching her arms, going so far as to pop her back.

"You're leaving?"I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. There's nothing for me anywhere. I may as well go somewhere interesting,"She reasoned, walking out of the tent.

"We have to make sure you actually get better. And what about the hitmen? The ones that want that literally want to kill you,"I pointed out, walking beside her.

"Good thing I'd take myself out first."

"You can't just leave. It's good here. It's safe,"I repeated.

"Yeah. Running around all the time is definitely a sign of safety,"She drew out.

"You're running right now."

"Uh huh. And what am I running from, city boy?"

"From what you don't know. Comfort. Stability. Something good. You're going back to danger because it's all you've ever had,"I answered.

"You don't know anything about me,"She scowled, turning around and glaring at me.

"I know that you were afraid. When I held a gun to your head you were scared."

"You have no idea what I was feeling,"She scoffed, crossing her arms as she kept her cold look.

"You were afraid. The only reason you would take yourself out is because you're afraid that someone will do worse. You're scared to die."

"What makes you think you know me? What makes you think I'm worth keeping around? Huh?"She sneered, stepping up to me and narrowing her eyes.

"Because you're human,"I shrugged, not moving away.

"How do you know I wouldn't be willing to sell you out for $20?"

"I don't,"I answered honestly.

"Exactly so-"

"But it's a risk I'll take. So come back to the tent, and let's make sure you're okay."

"Screw. Off,"She said slowly, turning on her heel and leaving.

"If you leave now, you might not be able to find us again,"I pointed out.

"Oh darn. That's not at all what I want when I'm literally leaving this place,"She deadpanned.

"I'm supposed to be looking after you,"I explained, jogging beside her.

"That's not my problem."

"But-"

"Get it through your head, city boy. I want nothing to do with you. I want nothing to do with anyone. Why should I when?"She trailed off.

"When nobody's ever wanted anything to do with you,"I finished.

"Shut up,"She scowled.

"Y/N-"

"Shut up!"She said louder, shoving me back with so much force I hit the ground. "You don't know anything about me! You think you're gonna fix my life!? You think you're going to help me!? You think I need someone looking after me after surviving my entire life alone!? Do I look weak!? Do I look like a coward!? Huh!?"She screamed.

"I'm sorry. I just want to hel-"

"You can help by leaving me alone. We aren't friends. We'll never be friends, because I don't have any, and you're not an exception,"She spat, turning on her heel and leaving me sitting there in shock. How the hell do I convince her to stay when she reacts with violence?

I don't know, but I have to figure it out fast.

[juliaaa420]

Couple of thoughts on Life is Strange: Double Exposure, though this post is mostly just my interpretation of the “Sacrifice Arcadia Bay” ending. I’ve finished the first episode of LiS: DE (going to play more soon), so any spoilers here are only about the first part of the game. I actually already have so much (bad things) to say, but this one is about Chloe and Max

Although I love Chloe (she’s literally my highest kin of all time, lmao) and always chose the ending where she lives, I get the other one. It’s logical, it’s rational, Chloe even wants it herself (after all, it was her idea that Max goes back in time and lets her die). The Bay ending seems just normal. But that’s also what makes me love the Bae ending even more.

Chloe always seemed like an egocentric, irrational, and selfish character, while Max is the opposite. Max is altruistic and calm, the whole game is about how different people are and how Max tries to help them all. The only thing Chloe and Max have in common is their past. They are united by shared memories, that’s why they get along. But the thing is, that in the Bae ending they switch sides. Now Chloe is thinking about other people and Max is thinking about herself. Chloe wants Max to save the city, Max wants to be with her best friend/love interest (whatever you choose).

I also believe Max choosing Chloe over the city has something to do with a feeling of guilt after ghosting Chloe through her worst period of life. I feel like this ending is paradoxically about redemption. “Paradoxically” because Max sacrifices the whole city just to save one girl, which is not really morally correct, but she does show that now she will never leave Chloe. The ending is about a promise. The promise to stay together and never part.

But there’re also a couple of things that make this ending more bitter (not considering sacrificing the whole city, lol). Even though Chloe is alive, her feeling of not being worthy just triples.

We can already see that Chloe often thinks that she doesn’t deserve things, it’s a constant feeling in “Before the Storm”, it’s an expected emotion after William’s death, hell, she has the same damn problem in alternative universe, where she’s disabled and dying. Her parents pray for even a minute of her life and are ready to do anything for it, but she can’t feel grateful, the only thing she feels is guilt and shame, like she’s a dead weight and only brings more pain. It was Max telling her otherwise.

And with this kept in mind, just imagine how she would feel when Max decides that she is, in fact, more worthy. Imagine how painful and terrifying this would be for Chloe. Feeling that for someone you’re worth more than every single life in this city, while your own self-value is at the lowest.

I’m sure that after the Bae ending Chloe thinks about this every day. The worst part is that it wasn’t even her choice. Chloe was absolutely ready to die (again, the Bay ending is her idea) at that point, it was Max making the call. It’s both painful and beautiful. In the Bae ending Max is showing Chloe that she can be loved, valued, and cared for.

So, what happens to this philosophy in the new game? They part ways. Great. Thank you, Deck Nine. You absolutely ruined the whole idea of the first game.

I thought they just made the Bay ending canon, but oh man, now I wish they did. I was unfortunate enough to read Max and Chloe’s text messages, this is just painful for me. You’ll wanna sit down: now Max is blaming Chloe for not thinking about the dead people enough.

Yeah. You read that right.

Max sacrificed the whole city, a lot of people died, and now she’s blaming Chloe for wanting to move on and start a new life together. But what are you supposed to do in this situation? You can’t fix it, you can’t go back (well, you can, but the ending is literally about just not wanting to), you can’t resurrect the dead. Chloe has already gone through a similar trauma: death of a loved one is the situation you are unable to influence. All you can do now is try to build a better future, try to appreciate what’s left. And now Max and Chloe need each other most of all. It’s a new shared memory, a depressing one, too. As I said, the Bae ending is about never parting again.

The most irritating part of it is how Chloe has absolutely nothing to do in this situation. New Max pulled so much weight on Chloe’s shoulders and now is rubbing salt on the wound. Chloe definitely still feels like she doesn’t deserve all of this, and Max is literally telling her that. It’s so not Max. Max wouldn’t be like that at all. This is a contradiction to the first part of the series.

So, final thought — I will pretend like this game doesn’t exist. Or it’s about some different Max and some different Chloe that have nothing to do with Life is Strange franchise

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[slickshoesareyoucrazy]

No Fooling

So I know I've been writing a LOT of sad shit for the past 16 months. Grief is real and relentless. I'm not apologizing for that. I'm a changed person because of my grief; as in, I will never be the same as Before A Died Jen was, and there is always going to be a part of me mourning him until I'm gone myself.

Here's the thing though.

I'm still happy. Generally. I'm so lucky on so many levels. I know this. In a lot of ways, I'm actually happier than I've maybe ever been. And that's because of J and the life I've been privileged to build with him.

20 years ago today, I was a nervous wreck, because I was 2 days from marrying J. I literally still thought he'd back out. For real, up to and including the Wedding March, I thought, 'No way this fucking amazing human being is actually gonna go through with marrying ME.' But he did. I told our son this year that when J and I got engaged, we joked about getting married on April Fool's Day, because we both had been lonely and low-to-high-key tormented by friends and family about being perpetually single and maybe even un-marry-able people. But we wanted people to show up and take us seriously, and April Fool's Day was a Friday. So we chose April 2. The Catholic church requires a 6 month engagement, and a church wedding made our families happy and was way less expensive than a Not Church Wedding, which is for sure what J would have preferred, and I didn't really have a preference. Without that requirement, and J (who knew what a romantic he could be? 😂) insisting on a big wedding, I'd have suggested going to the closest justice of the peace immediately before he had a chance to take his proposal back. J went to Pre-Cana wedding counseling with me. He spoke to my loud, bawdy cousins on the phone to help them plan a bridal shower game he knew I didn't really want to participate in. He got hammered and danced at our reception, and has since totally given up drinking (not that he ever had a problem), and our son says things like, "I know Dad is serious about not drinking anymore and I don't want to mess with that, but I kind of want him to get drunk at my wedding so I can see him dance." 😂❤️

J held me when we lost the first pregnancy. When the roof blew off our house in straight line winds, and then again when the contractors hired to fix it stopped showing up and then sued US (????). When our son got pneumonia. When he was bullied at school in third grade. When my mom got cancer. When our first dog died. When A died. He's still holding me about A. Holding me together some days. J always seems to do the right thing; the honorable thing; the kindest thing. We have this kid together that's so smart and deep and cool. That's because J is the best dad in the universe. I've done so much with my life; I've created things from passion, traveled all over for adventure, made a home, built a life based on our shared ethics without much of any compromise; all impossible without J. I often can't even believe my life is real. Every dream I ever had, he made it happen. I'm like practically out of 'wants.' People ask me what I want for gifts sometimes and I'm like ...um... J already bought me a fucking HOUSE and a car that doesn't require gas station visits. I'm out. I got nothing. 😂 One year HE asked me what I wanted and I told him I didn't have an answer because he'd already given me everything but the kitchen sink and this motherfucker *bought and installed a new kitchen sink.* Even when shitty stuff happens and other people let me down, J steps in. I'm in awe of how many times a version of this has happened to me in the going on 22 years I've known him:

J: <Some Other Person> didn't do what they promised you? *I'll* do it.

20 years and he's still choosing me. For some reason. I think it's patently obvious why I'm still choosing him.

Told him I knew I'd marry him on our first date (true) and he still doesn't believe me. Told him over the weekend I think I want him more now than I did 20 years ago (also true) and he doesn't believe that either. Holy shit, do I love him. Like still like this 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍. In a world full of anxiety and madness and Real Bad Shit and in this past year and a half of soul-crushing personal grief, he still can and does make me super happy. No foolin'.