#literally everyone is put together compared to tim.

[tbcanary]

curly wolfcut steph. that’s all.

[buddiebeginz]

You know I think I find this kind of thinking even worse than people who just never liked Buddie to begin with. People who claim to love Buddie or who were Buddie shippers and who are now trashing Buddie just to prop up Buck/T*mmy are literally some of the worst.

I think everyone should be allowed to like and ship who they want. I'm not a multishipper so I don't ship Buck and T*mmy and I'm not the biggest fan of T*mmy in general but I do see the significance of him in Buck's story.

What I don't get is how so many of you have become so enamored with a ship from very little buildup that you don't care anymore about how important Eddie coming out and Buddie becoming canon is. Also that you'd go back on all of your opinions on Buddie and the history they've shared.

The fact is Eddie coming out as gay is incredibly important. Just as Buck coming out as bi is ground breaking in it's own way and increasing much needed representation for bisexual characters, a character like Eddie coming out would also be ground breaking. Eddie is older, a veteran, Mexican, a single dad, struggles with mental health issues, a firefighter, fits a model of stereotypical masculinity, etc. There are so many people who would be helped to see a character like Eddie have a queer awakening in ways that are different than Buck's.

Buddie becoming canon is also equally as important as the coming out storylines for Buck and Eddie. I know people keep trying to say it's not and keep hating on anyone who dares to talk about Buddie along with Buck's bi awakening but it all matters.

It's not that Buddie has to happen for Buck and or Eddie to be queer but it should. I could write a novel on the history that is shared between these men. They are so much more than just friends honestly not sure how anyone can even see them that way. If you compare them to any other friendship on the show there is so much more there. They also know one another and are there for one another in ways no one else is. Buddie already has this epic love story built up it's why so many of us are waiting for them to reach that next level of their relationship.

Buddie would also be groundbreaking in their own way if they make it a canon ship. We have never really had a slow burn queer romance especially not with two men figuring out their sexuality later in life like this and on a primetime show. It's also not just about Buck and Eddie it's about Christopher too. We've watched Buck and Eddie basically co-parenting together for six years. It would be so amazing and important to have Buck actually recognized as Chris' other dad.

I just don't get how you can watch these men loving and supporting and fighting for one another over six long years and then trash their relationship because one of them kissed someone else and call this new guy basically his soulmate. We don't even really know T*mmy or how a relationship with him and Buck might work out because they're not even in one they're just dating.

I don't get anyone who can't see how Buddie being canon could literally change how queer ships are written in the future. We deserve to have our ships written with the same passion and care as straight ships have been. Also don't say you love Buck and then say you want his endgame love to be some guy you don't even really know. He deserves an amazing love story like the other characters have had on the show. He deserves Eddie who has fought and screamed and chosen him time and time again. Who has literally made Buck Chris' other dad, even put it down legally in writing for all intents and purposes because that's how much Eddie trusts Buck and how much he means to him.

I know the show runners/writers don't let fandom stuff influence all the decisions they make but it has some sway because I fully believe our love for Buddie has helped push things to where they are now. It does seem there is a plan already in place for Buddie to be canon but things can always change in shows I mean Tim said he was still writing and filming episodes. All I know is if the more vocal Buck/T*mmy (endgame) shippers do anything to help derail Buddie happening I'll never forgive you. I'm sure I sound ridiculously dramatic here but this isn't just about me not getting to see a fictional ship. Buddie going canon and Eddie coming out mean so much more and I'm sorry some of you can't see that.

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 27 “Spicy Gas” [Episode List] Dave and Dana try to spice things up in their sexual life.

POV: Dave

Spicy Gas

Fuck, I’m freezing in this car.

It’s worth it though: I’m picking my girlfriend up from work and we’re going back to my place together. Tim (my bro and roommate) is out of town because of some needy client so, yeah, you know where this is going: a sexy, hot, movie night until we fall asleep on the couch.

When you’re past 30, this is considered a massive win.

It’s about 7:00 PM and I parked right where Dana asked me, in the mostly desert underground car park below the office building she works at. She works (usually overtime…) in a law firm and she’s as badass as she sounds; it’s a demanding job, though she’s up for it, as she told me many times without me asking and not in a nervous way at all. 

Yes, she sounds stressed, but I know her, she’s got it, I’m here if she needs to vent. Sometimes that’s all you need and if it’s not, well, we’re just gonna talk abou- why is this car so cold?!

I hope Dana’s on her way ���cause if she’s not she’s gonna find his boyfriend dead of hypothermia. Before picking her up, I made a quick stop to a fast food nearby to get some french fries on the fly, because my body may be a temple, but it’s a crumbling one. But not even junk food raised my body temperature. 

This is how it ends, Dana, with your handsome boyfriend being murdered by this harsh, cold Winter in his own car, a coffin made of plastic and steel.

Truth is, I was bored and tired, so I was basically falling asleep, until I heard someone tapping on the car window right next to me. That made me jump, that always startle me for some reason… and she knows it very well, given the idiotic, beautiful smile on her face.

“Hey babe.” I said from inside the car, but she could barely hear me.

She walked around the vehicle and got inside, sitting on the passenger seat, next to me. We exchanged a quick peck on the lips and I then went for the keys to start the car.

“Wait, I need a moment.” Dana said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

She wasn��t mad nor sad, she just wanted to smoke a cigarette before leaving, all while she (as I said) vented about some co-worker acting like a bitch.

“‘Do not let Bennet know about it’ I told him and guess what he did?!”

“He… he told B-“

“He told her!” she had a puff of her cigarette. “Can you believe it? Now everyone knows we’re behind schedule because that idiot had to lick my boss’ ass.”

“Wow” I replied. I swear I’m listening, I’m just a bit on auto-pilot.

And freezing.

“And my boss… oh my boss, she got so mad, and rightfully so. We could handle the schedule, we do it all the time, but no! He had to rat us out like the kiss ass he is.”

“Is that him?” I said, casually glancing at some guy walking in the empty parking lot. “I can run him over if you want to.” I joked… and I hope she knows I’m joking.

“Yes, but don’t do anything, don’t move, don’t make any sound. He’s such a kiss ass that if he notices us he’ll come here to cha- I told you not to make a sound!” she said, almost laughing, as my enormous fart cut her off. 

Yes, one of my usual farts, powered by those fries I got earlier (not that I need any particular fuel to rip a good one).

You all know what I’m capable of, my bro Tim definitely does.

I hate how warm it felt compared to the sheer cold of the car. My girl is very familiar with all of my talents, including this one. 7 seconds and I was done.

“Are you done shitting yourself?” she politely asked.

I leaned towards her and we exchanged another quick peck, but me moving meant that the gas trapped under my ass now was free to pollute the entire car.

“I’m your pig, remember?” I whispered.

“I literally never called you that.”

“Really? Must have been one of my other girlfriends then.” I joked.

She playfully slapped my shoulder and I sat back in front of the steering wheel, ready to start the car.

“Wait.”

“Oh please can we go home? I’m freezing.” I lamented.

“Just a minute…” she looked at me amused, but thoughtful. “There’s something I’d like to talk you about.” she put out her cigarette and put it in the ashtray.

“You okay?”

“Sure.” she replied, calmly.

A few seconds of silence followed. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel, waiting for her to say something.

“I actually… do like when you’re a pig.” she smiled, but still being serious and calm about it.

I gave her and inquisitive, amused look.

“Don’t judge me.” she noticed my expression.

“I’m not judging you babe.” I said. “It’s our thing, we’re very open about what we like.”

“I know… you’re awesome.”

“Of course I am.” I confirmed, with a smug smirk, fully knowing how annoying I am.

“And I, too, am awesome, thank you very much.” she added, giving me a funny scolding glare.

We laughed it off.

“So what’s up, babe?” I genuinely asked. “You know my kinks...” I leaned closer to her. “What’s your dirty secret, Mrs. D?” I whispered, trying to act cool and sexy, but all I got was another playful slap on my shoulder.

“It’s not… what you did like a minute ago.” she said, gesturing towards me.

“Oh you mean this?” I pretended to push one more fart out, but this time I actually had nothing brewing (incredible, huh?). I was amused by her reaction though. “Just kidding.” I quickly said.

She actually laughed at that.

“You’re so nice and it’s not that I like you being disgusting but… dammit, I admit that… sometimes… when we do our thing… maybe I’d like you being a bit more… dirty.”

I let out a surprisingly nervous cackle.

“That’s it? You want to spice things up?” I asked, reaching for my phone. “Because I’m pretty sure Google can give us some tips.”

She calmly but firmly extended her arm towards me. She grabbed my phone and threw it in the backseat. She then put her left hand on my jeans-clad right leg.

“If you’re cold, Mr. D” it was Dana’s turn to whisper. “I know just the way to warm you up.” 

That got me instantly aroused.

My girlfriend’s hand moved closer to my crotch, touching the tent I pitched between my legs.

“Oh… are you nervous?” she asked, gently caressing my boner, still in-character, whatever the character was.

I nodded.

Why did I nod? Am I an idiot?

With a deft movement, she untied my belt and her hand slipped right into my jeans and underwear, going straight for my hard cock.

As that happened, I let out a very short high-pitched scream, not because I wasn’t used to this, but because Dana’s hand was way colder than I was expecting. She broke character to laugh a bit at my very manly scream, then quickly went back into this femme fatale persona she was impersonating.

I was sweating.

But then I realized...

“Wait… r-right here?” I stuttered.

“Are you scared, Mr. D?” she asked. “Are you… too much of a nice guy for this?”

The fuck I am. 

I grabbed her head and kissed her, her tongue going down my throat as she wrapped her cold fingers around my warm, throbbing cock. 

I don’t know what was going down there… I mean I do know obviously, but the way Dana was moving her hand and fingers this time almost made me cum on the spot. She did in fact spice things up, so I guess I could do was return the favour... in my own personal way.

I sat back normally and spread my legs wide, my cock still being massaged, and ripped a loud, vibrating fart, a loud blast that made the entire vehicle shake. A quick 5 seconds rip which, weirdly enough, made Dana moan as she listened to it.

“You’re such a pig.” she scolded me, now literally strangling my cock, so much so that that I actually felt a bit of pain.

And I was loving the fuck out of that.

I saw a car passing by but the thought of them noticing us only made me harder.

I then ripped another big fart, because I’m the master of this shit. I could feel the vibrations of this one even on Dana’s hand as she jerked me off, something that she seemed to enjoy.

All of this was disgusting and yet we found it hot as fuck.

My girlfriend was as thirsty I was and finally managed to pull my cock out of my jeans.

“Oh there it is.” she said, leaning down to give it a quick lick. "Let me have it."

Not the first time we do this stuff obviously, but dammit that one move was indeed a dirty one. Pre-cum dripped down from the tip of my penis as I ripped another monstrous fart, the warm gas fogging up the car's windows. I was hot-boxing that whole place and my girlfriend didn’t care; instead she once again slipped her tongue down my throat.

“Time to sleep, pig.” she then whispered right into my hear, right before biting it.

After that, she strongly tightened her grip on my cock and then twisted it. I clenched my teeth as that happened, but the arousal that it gave me was insane.

That final move made me cum, a white fountain appearing between my legs as Dana bit my ear again. 

That was quick… for my standards at least, but she didn’t seem to mind at all. Actually, she was a sweaty mess herself. She licked her lips and gave me a quick peck on my own.

“Try finding that on Google.” she said, as she sat back on her passenger seat.

As if the spirit of some femme fatale left her body, she turned to me and smiled, opening the car window by her side, now realizing how terrible my gas was.

“Yeah, fuck Google, ammirite?” literally the most unsexy thing I could have said.

She handed me some napkins to clean the mess. And a cigarette, which we shared.

“Still cold?” Dana asked me, once again giving me a certain look.

I started the car in response, then I turned to her, looking straight into her brown eyes. 

I let out a loud, muffled fart that shook the seat, narrowing my eyes as I pushed it out. It was warm, it was vibrating through my jeans-clad ass. I winked at my girlfriend as the thunder kept going, something that she, against all odds, seemed to appreciate.

12 seconds, then my ass went silent.

“Are you?” I asked back to her, with a smirk.

The End

[robintherobiner]

Types of fics i need more of:

de-age fics. Baby Bruce? Teen Bruce? Baby Dick? Teen Dick? Baby Jason? Teen Jason. The list goes on and on. deage them all. is it sad? is it funny? is it cute? is it traumatic? i dont care, make them all little.

ghost fics. i want Jason to haunt the shit out of his family. he sees them all grieving, comes back to life, and instead of killing people he just leaves ominous notes like "i saw you trip on your cape." or "leave fifty bucks at *address* or i'll tell everyone about your superman body pillow."

Tim being an utter loser. I love him, but he should be incredibly put together in public and then he gets home and just... is a mess. never felt the touch of anyone, woman or man. can do complex mathematical equations but needs a calculator to solve 4 x 3. think Sherlock Holmes, who can tell everything about you from one look but doesnt know the earth revolves around the sun.

Alfred being called out for being an enabler! fuck that old man, i hate him. however if he made me a cup of tea, i would die for him. Im a very complex person.

Dick being Damians dad. so cute, i love it. Damian deserves to have his own taste of found family. fuck blood of the womb, lets go with blood of the covenent or whatever the quote says.

Jason being childish!!! i think his mental age should younger than his physical one cuz, trauma, being dead, being catatonic in some cases, also just being pretty young anywas? gimme a fic where he comes home covered in blood cuz he just killed four guys and then goes to have a shower so he can play with his rubber duckies.

kiddie crushes!!! gimme more Jason loving Wonder Woman and being an utter fanboy when he encounters her. "Oh em gee you're here to apprehend me? Wonder Woman, this is such an honor, can i have your autograph-" Young Dick meeting Superman for the first time and hiding under Bruce's cap because "He's so pretty Bruce, he's gonna hear my heart go fast!" Tim meeting Constantine and, to everyones despair, somehow adoring him. "So you do magic? Thats like, so cool! Tell me all about it. My parents were archeologists, we probably have loads of of magical objects, do you wanna check them? Do you like coffee? Did you really sell your soul to multiple people? Thats so hot- I MEAN COOL SHIT FUCK-"

Literally anything about Dicks time in the circus. I think i've only read like two fics about it? Compared to the hundreds going indepth on Tim and Jason's childhoods?

Similar to the last one, but gosh the culture shocks they all probably had! Dick was used to constantly moving from city to city. Jason going from being on the street to a mansion. Tim going from boarding school, a place full of kids his own age, to being alone in his house so that he could be Robin. Damian was used to being respected and honored, he was a prince after all, only to suddenly be told that everything he knew was wrong.

Babs and Tim. I think they would get along, i wanna see them bonding!

Joker Junior. i know its not canon and it was only in like one cartoon but oh my GOD i love it.

Trauma reveals!! i love them. Dick's time in spyral, his apprenticeship with Deathstroke, the multiple fucked up relationships he's been in. Everything Tim did during 'Brucequest', Jasons time with the LOA, literally anything from Damians childhood.

Jon being aged up and his relationship with Damian! i dont even need to add anything, you get the point.

Dana, Jack, and Janet. I want it so bad!!! Dana is implied but never confirmed to be dead so bring her back and let her and Tim mourn!! let Tim find out his parents both slept with Bruce and have Bruce be like "oops i forgot about that, soz sweetie-" let tim hate christmas eve because thats when his mother was buried!

if anyone has recs for any of these sort of fics, PLEASE GIVE THEM TO ME. i've probably read most of them already, but i have a terrible memory so i love re-reading fics. just, gimme gimme gimme

[moth-related-inquiries]

moots gonna find me crazy for this one, but Eric Cartman and Babysitter! Reader ‼️‼️‼️

i love when cartman acts like an actual child and not a war criminal *chefs kiss* like if he wasn't a little evil dickhead I'd totally babysit him 🫶

-♡ he absolutely DESPISED you at first. He got really upset with his mom for leaving him with some random person.

-♡ After like a month of basically torture, Eric started to go easy on you after realizing he actually enjoys the time you guys spend together.

-♡ This turned into him trying to take you literally everywhere.

-like you will take him to school and walk him up to the entrance, and he will literally drag you through the building.

-Genuinely enjoys showing you off like you're some grand prize and bragging about how cool you are compared to everyone elses babysitters.

-He cried and squealed at Mr. Garrison's door because you couldn't attend class with him.

-♡ Despite loving showing you off, Eric HATES sharing you.

-He thinks you guys are best friends so he would genuinely feel upset about you babysitting anyone else (especially Kyle) and make up some elaborate plan to get you fired.

-It backfires terribly.

-literally wont even share you with Mr. Kitty. 😭😭😭

-♡ Yall have sleepovers literally every week.

- Matching Pajamas. Say no, and he'll throw a tantrum in front of EVERYONE.

- Hear me on this one!!!!! Skincare routine. You suggested it as a treat one night after he brushed his teeth on his own, and he immediately picked up the routine.

-♡ You take him to your house every now and then (literally almost every week) just so Liane can have some privacy.

-This little asshole will literally raid your entire fridge and pantry in a matter of one day if you do not specifically tell him you bought a meal for him.

-he has his own designated minifridge now in order to encourage him to not raid yours 😭

-Yall will fr play dressup and pretend you're vogue models.

-And then play Thunder Cats (he wins everytime because he beats the shit out of your hand with his figure.)

-he basically adopts your cat (if you own one)

-♡ You're basically his other parent figure.

-Has accidentally called you mom or dad multiple times. 😭

-yall only talk about it when he's upset about not knowing his dad or upset about Liane potentially not wanting him anymore.

-♡ For this reason he literally adores being carried like a little baby.

-he gets SO upset if you can't carry him anymore.

-will literally cling onto your leg crying about you being fatphobic because he's just too big to carry now.

-if you give him the mom glare, he will give it back to you with even more hate-filled energy.

-♡ If yall go to big or crowded places, you literally have to put him in one of those backpack leashes. 😭😭

-ten years old, and he will still try his damndest to reach around and unclip it while you're not looking.

-"stupid bitch thinks I'm not gonna-"

-he pinched himself on it and immediately started bawling his eyes out like someone just cut his finger off.

-yall got ice cream afterward, so it's ok, but he's gonna try and do it again if he gets bored.

-♡God forbid you take him out to swim.

-he will call you the most vile names if he thinks your swimsuit is too revealing or your swimtrunks don't hide anything.

-will literally tell you to cover up and forcibly wrap his towel around you. 😭

-sends the meanest most hateful glares to anyone looking at you or checking you out while you tan.

-will literally walk up to some random unattended beach towel, bury it in the sand, and pretend like nothing happened.

-actively kicks down sand castles for fun but gets so pissed off if his are messed up.

-"cmon, y/n, let's find this fucking hippie" "that's not very nice, Eric" "girl."

-will side eye you so hard if you just lay under an umbrella reading a book.

-"Why are we even here if you're gonna be reading porn the whole tim-" "ERIC THEODORE CARTMAN!"

this was really fun ngl I might write one with Butters cause he deserves a parent figure more than Cartman 🫶 either way I wanna put them both in my pocket.

[samuraiicecream]

Day5: "ABO/Omegaverse

"Ouch!"

"Sorry," Damian said in a sleepy voice. He kissed the spot on Tim's neck where he'd just left a fresh mark of his teeth. The bite was not strong and the skin had already begun to recover, which did not really satisfy Damian's inner omega, who rose a little higher than the previous bite and repeated it.

Tim looked up from his papers, leaning over to the young man who was lying on the couch with him. Shortly before Tim started working, Damian showed up asking for a lie down together. And who would Tim be if he refused his sleepy and sweet boyfriend.

Damian half hugged him, nuzzling into the crook of his neck close to the scent gland, soothed by the scent of his alpha.

"Why are you biting? I thought you wanted to sleep."

"I still do," Damian said sleepily. His long eyelashes fluttered as sleep washed over him. Tim touched his palm to one of the younger's ruddy cheeks, stroking it with his thumb. In anticipation of the oncoming heat wave, the boy's temperature was rising, so Tim's hands felt incredibly cool compared to Damian's hot skin. The younger clung to the touch, moaning a little at the pleasant sensation.

A contented quiet purr brought a smile to Tim's face. No matter how much he hears these sounds from his boyfriend, anyway, every time the butterflies return to his stomach.

"So you bite even in your sleep", Tim chuckled softly, plunging his fingers into Damian’s hair, stroking the sleepy omega.

Damian stood behind the stove and hummed a song along with the morning radio. He was in good spirits, rested and refreshed after a period of heat. She and Tim also had the day off, which meant they could go out for a walk somewhere.

Damian smiled, continuing to wield the spatula in the frying pan as Tim shuffled behind him, probably crawling out of the bedroom to the smell of food. As Damian expected, there was a yawn first, and then he was hugged from behind, resting his head on his shoulder. Mentally counting to five, Damian smiled at the accuracy with which the elder's body almost regularly followed - Tim collected the last pieces of sleep and yawned, and finally waking up, said: "Good morning" - and reached for Damian's cheek.

Ready for a morning kiss on the cheek, Damian leaned forward. He almost answered the morning greeting when, instead of a kiss, Tim nibbled on his cheek. Slightly pulled and chewed in addition. Of course, Tim did not hurt him, but the feeling of chewing remained.

Damian covered his cheek with one hand, staring over his shoulder at Tim indignantly.

"What am I, food?"

"Tastes like marshmallow."

While Damian squinted angrily, trying to fry the guy with his eyes, Tim just bit his shoulder, causing the young man to yelp in surprise.

"Stop biting me!" Damian lightly slapped the alpha on the top of his head, immediately meeting a disgruntled face.

"You constantly bite me, but I can't you, then?"

"When did I bite you?" averting his eyes, the younger muttered, for which he received one more bite. He tried to break free of Tim's grip, but no luck. He was caught in a trap, and the key to liberation was hung up on his conscience.

"It's literally your habit. Give you free rein, you wouldn’t even open your jaw until you bit off a piece of me."

Damian pouted, admitting defeat. He was not happy about it too. As a child, he bit everyone for obvious reasons, but he had long since weaned himself from this. Why habit showed up now was a mystery. Like alpha-omega, their relationship was modern, equal, but, apparently, his dominant omega still wanted to fight for supremacy, marking the alpha with victorious marks. At least that's what Jason put forward. Actually, this topic was closed.

"So what, you want to bite me in retaliation?"

"It's your prerogative, but yes. Instead of food, I will eat your chubby cheeks."

Tim reached for Damian's face again, trying to bite him on the cheek, but this time, the younger pulled back just in time.

"Be careful with your words, Timothy Drake, I have a shovel in my hand and I know how to use it."

[dont-call-me-algernon]

Jesus, Judas and Mary from JCS for the ask game!

Thanks for the ask!! Needless to say, the answers are specifically related to the 2012 arena tour version -- and under the cut because they got LONG

JUDAS

A beast Unleashed: A sopping wet beast unleashed, specifically, but one nonetheless.

*puts them in a salad spinner*: Look, it’s not my fault if Tim Minchin’s Judas shines especially when he looks and sounds like he’s reached the lowest point in his life. The angrier, the more beaten down and pathetic he is, the more entertaining to watch he becomes. The whole second act, starting from his part in The Last Supper is just 👌 👌 👌

That’s a solid design right there: There’s nothing really “special” about it, but I really like the wardrobe choices for his character. It works, and it works really well imo. Actually, I’m a big fan of all major characters’ “designs” in this specific production!

They didn’t get bullied enough: Like the above, I mean this in the most affectionate way possible. As in – I want him to suffer more not because he hasn’t been through enough (he has), but because I find his reactions genuinely entertaining. There’s something weirdly appealing about his progressive descent into despair as the musical goes on. Also, the fact that every time I rewatch the show I HAVE to go back and re-reblog the sin gif probably speaks for itself.

JESUS

They sure exist: I have no strong feelings about him either way, really. Like yeah Ben Forster does an amazing job, but none of the songs mainly sung by him is among my favourites and I’ve always been more of a fan of antagonists and secondary characters anyway. Musicals about biblical characters are no exceptions, I guess lmao and in the 2012 arena tour specifically, I feel like Minchin’s Judas really steals the show every time they’re on the stage together.

That’s a solid design right there / I fuck with this aesthetic so hard: Like I said earlier, tho, I really like the costuming department’s choices for basically everyone in this musical and he’s no exception! I’ve also circled “I fuck with this aesthetic so hard” specifically, here, because unlike Judas’ or Mary’s, Jesus’ outfit (the very first one, with the coat and all) is something I’d actually love to wear in real life. It’s really simple, sure, but I’m a boring person at heart, so yeah

MARY

That’s a solid design right there: Reiterating what I said earlier, plus the leather jacket + simple white dress underneath combo is one of those outfits I’d never wear myself but that I find very pleasing to look at! It suits the character really well and it offers the opportunity for a cool moment during I Don’t Know How To Love Him, when she’s at her most vulnerable and both literally and metaphorically removes her tough exterior. It’s not mind-blowing symbolism by any means, but it’s a really neat detail I can’t help but appreciate every time I rewatch the musical.

They sure exist: Mary is weird for me in that I love her songs, but as a character I feel like she lacks that something that would make me latch onto her beyond the usual “I enjoy watching/listening to them when they’re on screen”. Again, props to Mel C for her portrayal, she clearly gave her best interpretation and it shows, but after her (admittedly really fun) beef with Judas during Everything’s Alright she sort of just… hangs there until I Don’t Know How To Love Him. Then just goes back to hanging there. Though overall I’d say I’m a bit more interested in her as a character compared to, say, Jesus. It’s a shame that there’s no “strong protective urges” box or something like that like I’ve seen in other bingos, so I went and checked the [holding character in the palm of my hand] one instead.

[ballplayersxo]

https://www.tumblr.com/ballplayersxo/732566555741831168/anybody-got-tea-on-the-current-spurs-they-used-to?source=share

i came across this ask which ill give my first shot at answering in my own way cause im a spurs fan! and girl all i can say is i wish there was more tea to report on 😭😭 not to say that theres zero drama going down in san antonio.. ive always asked myself: theres so much nba tea floating around but so little on my guys?? but now i understand that drama doesnt happen as regularly bc gregg popovich has more control over these niggas off the court than you would expect. in other teams its not really a common thing for coaches to hold players accountable for non basketball related things but id compare pop/the organization to a teacher/school because in a way they operate as figures of authority (similar to college-style basketball). its tougher to find spurs drama since he keeps the younger guys on a tighter leash after learning the hard way from tim duncans messy ass divorce/tony parkers cheating scandal but i assure you tea is there even tho its harder to find. i do agree with anon that sochan and vassell look like hoes but idk if we'll ever get to know that (unproven rn) side of them aside from speculation by who they follow on insta. including jeremy whos the most active on socials, all of them trained to move in silence + being a small market + tight pr means less reports but yes there is some tea and hottakes id like to spill although its not much

-

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/418962509115162624/1160664218702454914/IMG_3983.png?ex=6547f0c9&is=65357bc9&hm=cbc6e61c04ea464c85ab01827c17443f5d57ad2343fdbd96a76846644bb85168&

speaking of primo hes an ex spur but josh primo signed a new contract after joining the clippers and proposed to his (white) gf (story in attachment above). congrats her ig he has the face of a child whos balls havent dropped yet AND is a sex offender 🤷🏾‍♀️

context for everyone who doesnt know: primo was waived (even after he signed a contract extension apparently) because he flashed his ugly d*ck to a team staff member and then claimed he did it bc he had mental health issues. after primos babyface was sued by his psychologist (the woman he flashed) he was waived without so goodbye to his creepy ass. (on a personal note i really hate how "mental health" is used as some excuse for these sorts of things. like this nigga seriously thinks theres any valid excuse for flashing his tiny pp at women?? especially the woman whos job was helping out his "mental health" shit in the first place?? foh). it had way less info than an event like the kpj case but i think the lack of it is a testament to the spurs pr so there could be other stuff in the bg we as the public simply dont know abt

-

on a more positive note ik julian champangie has a gf. shes makes frequent cameos on his insta and vice versa and have been together since high school. also i dont have the link but i clearly remember another anon in an old post here claimed that sochan is bi and follows trans women but ill put that to sleep since its false. being bi isnt 100% out of the question obviously (literally anybody can be bi without us knowing. looking at you dwight.) but theres no real evidence besides: omg look he dyes his hair and has an aesthetic he must be bi!!! i think people see a nigga who has an eccentric sense of style and instantly wanna jump to label him but nawww ive seen his following on insta 😂😂 anon was confusing "trans women" for TONS of polish/british/american (all white) insta thots. hes a cutie but it wouldnt be farfetched to assume hes not into black women. yall he aint bisexual hes biracial 😂😂

https://x.com/RTNBA/status/1691153501299134464?s=20

unrelated: sochan rookie hazing wembanyama during the offseason was kinda funny tho

-

https://youtu.be/1VZykbSv7nk?feature=shared

dejounte and jaina are always on and off afaik lmfao girl secured some big bags. anyways dj talking about his experience with the spurs was insightful for me. i wasnt aware before there was alot of clash between ghetto behavior and how the organization wanted him to behave but frankly im not surprised by it

-

not really gossip related but stories of irl players ive encountered:

(retired spur) i met david robinson at church when i was really young. i remember being scared of him at first cause he was so tall lol but i remember him sitting down to shake my hand and my parents taking a picture of us. its kinda embarrassing since it has the vibes of a baby crying on santas lap but funny nonetheless 😂😂

got an autograph from demar a few years back. it was quick and we didnt talk much since he had to leave after but he was cool when i asked

the only current spur ive met is devin vassell in a random encounter at the gas station (this was last yr). i recognized him but wasnt sure how he was gonna react to being approached for an autograph/photo but he was really sweet w it. i asked him where he was headed to & he said the gym but joked after that, a nap at home with his dogs lol. the names of his two dogs, iirc he told me: donovan and ace. very warm, he has a pleasant voice and smile too, if hes a longtime spur he should join our broadcast team once he retires lmao

-

thank you for coming to my sas analysis despite my team lowkey tanking right now. have a great day owner, ill go back to lurking now, god bless you.

lmao anon thank you for this, i appreciate when you guys send long asks about things you care about!! but the josh primo case was definitely something that never made much sense to me. like why would he do that? i just can’t comprehend the thought process. it was a thing here in canada and a bunch of people were talking about it cause i know people who used to play with him. it’s getting weird. idk where to start with dejounte and jania but they’re both very annoying and belong with each other tbh. & gay/bi allegations are everywhere it’s crazy. lmao this was interesting overall though

[lsdunesarchive]

Transcript under the cut

INTERVIEW WITH DRUMMER TUCKER RULE, VOCALIST ANTHONY GREEN, AND GUITARIST FRANK IERO BY TOM OSMAN

"It literally feels like I'm 18 again,

to be honest with you," says Tucker Rule, drummer for L.S. Dunes, as the band gear up to release their debut album, Past Lives, on November 11 on Fantasy Records. Just a day or two before Tucker and his bandmates – Anthony Green, vocaIs; Frank Iero, guitar; Travis Stever, guitar; and Tim Payne, bass – had played their first concert together at Chicago's Riot Fest.

Having only had a handful of practice sessions together, the bandmates didn't know what to expect. As lero puts it, "When you have a new band, and your first show is outdoors, at a festival, people only know one of your songs, and you're on at 1 p.m... expectations aren't always the best."

They needn't have worried.

"It was honestly kind of amazing," says Rule. Green is similarly enthusiastic. "It felt like we had been a band for 100 years, and everybody just felt in the pocket completely." Iero chimed in, saying, "all expectations and pipe dream wishes were exceeded, 1,000%."

These observations are not those of giddy teenagers getting their first taste of the spotlight. Iero and his bandmates are seasoned musicians. Their shared credits include My Chemical Romance Thursday, Circa Survive, Saosin, and Coheed and Cambria – but there's a shared sense or excitement in this new project. lero compares it to being in hIs first high school band, while Rule describes them as "feeling kinda reborn."

All the members of the band have ongoing band commitments outside of L.S. Dunes. For Rule, this is not an obstacle, but rather something to relish. "In music, success is not necessarily measured by dollar amount," he reflects, "but by how much you're working." And indeed Tucker, lero, Green, and bassist Tim Payne all had various other live commitments around or during the Riot Fest weekend.

Green credits having children with sharpening his time management. "I'd argue that I get more done now with less time than I did with all the time in the world," he says. While Rule admits it's hard having so many schedules, he loves performing and making music – as do his bandmates. That's why we started this band." he says.

It was Rule who started the project of putting the band and album together. "It's kind of like my baby," as he puts it, though he emphasizes the band being a truly collaborative effort, with everyone having equal input. Iero has a similar take, describing his bandmates as "incredibly selfless and willing to adjust or edit in order to make the best songs."

Just as important, it seems, is a shared sense of fun and enjoying the ride. While Rule won't give away the meaning behind the band's name, he does give an insight into the mentality of the band, revealing their shared joke that the L.S. in L.S. Dunes stands for "low stress" – Though fans are left to speculate for themselves the real meaning behind the name.

The process of making the album started out remotely due to COVID restrictions–a process unlike anything the members had done before. The closest comparison Iero can find is when he made his solo record, Stomachaches, which he mostly recorded in his basement. Despite these isolated working conditions, the sense of low stress and enjoyment comes out in Rule's memories of that time. "Every day was like a holiday morning of getting a riff or getting a song or hearing Anthony's vocals. It really kind of zaps me back exactly to that time when music was brand new to us," he says.

The opportunity to collaborate was especially vital for Green, who was feeling "creatively lonely" at the time Rule called him, and he snapped up the chance to get involved in the project. That call was like his "prayers being answered."

There's a palpable sense of camaraderie and mutual appreciation between the members of the group, with Rule, Green, and lero all speaking in glowing terms of each other and their other bandmates, guitarist Stever and bassist Payne.

lero reserves his highest praise for Green, describing the vocalist as "fearless as anyone I have ever had the pleasure of working with," and of Green's performance on the forthcoming record Iero says, "I really feel like Anthony is at his finest to date."

To hear Green talk about his place in the band, you might think he was an untested young vocalist being given his first big break. "I can't believe I got asked to be in the band," he says, invoking the great vocalists of My Chemical Romance, Coheed and Cambria, and Thursday that his bandmates have worked with as though he were not fit to be spoken of in the same breath. For Iero, though, "There really was no one else in our heads to be the singer of this band."

"There's so much great, inspiring music by people who are fearless," says Green, listing influences from Björk, to Thom Yorke, to Nick Cave. "I just soak up inspiration from everybody that gives me chills like that." By Iero's account, Green could just as well be describing his own performance on Past Lives. As he comments, "There's a lot of riffing happening on some of these songs, and that fucking guy was never scared to sing over any of it!"

Cedric Bixler-Zavala – of Mars Volta and At The Drive In – was a particularly important influence for Green on the forthcoming album, not just in terms of his vocal style, but the way he "allows his body to move and flow with the music," throwing himself – sometimes literally – into the songs. Green describes his performance overall as "somewhere between him (Bixler-Zavala) and (vocalist and songwriter Leslie) Feist."

Green is not only open about his inspirations, but also the difficulties he's had to overcome in recent times. He describes a heroin relapse from a couple of years ago after being clean for several years. "I went on a run that ended up in me overdosing and dying," he remembers. After getting clean again, Green stayed sober, but that wasn't the end of his troubles. "I was also just miserable," he says, as he struggled with mental health issues throughout the pandemic.

Despite the lift the L.S. Dunes project gave him, Green continued to struggle. "Almost in a suicidal way, I relapsed again during the writing process of the Dunes record," he says. "It ended a bunch of personal relationships, and it was a big wake-up call for me."

Green realized that he had to start taking control of his mental health. Fortunately, his band mates were fully supportive, providing him with "nothing but love and appreciation and acceptance," he says.

Unsurprisingly, a lot of Green's personal struggles found their way into his lyrics on Past Lives. Though he poetically represented many of the painful sensations in a way that gave him emotional distance, it wasn't always possible. "There are some songs where it's very difficult to sing an emote and get inside them without getting put through the ringer," he says.

Overall, though, there's no doubt of the positive impact making and performing music provides Green and the rest of the band. "It's just something I need to do in order to survive," says Iero. "It makes me a better man, a better father, a better husband, and a better human."

Issue 64 New Noise Magazine L.S. Dunes interview by Tom Osman

[punkscowardschampions]

Slaggie & Sick Kids & Sylke (pt.1)

Sylvie: Went in that group chat for the first time today

Maggie: How was it?

Sylvie: 😬😑🙃

Sylvie: Like, they were trying to normalise it so much it made me feel even weirder?

Maggie: That’s not the move, do I know what the move is, nah, but I know it ain’t theirs they were pulling 👀

Sylvie: I know, I can’t turn around and tell them to hate their lives and be depressed as I am but

Sylvie: it was just awkward, before I even get to the real Dublin of it all

Maggie: Paint it black, lads, soz tryhards never win 🖤🥀💀 everyone’s got their shite, what’s pretending it ain’t sometimes sad to do?

Sylvie: They weren’t all ☀️ & 🌈 but it was sanitised, like some doctor or therapist would log in any second and tell us off 

Maggie: Point on the doll where your invisible disability is

Sylvie: Fair though, speaking of trauma

Sylvie: Guess who’s ex was in there?

Maggie: [just throwing out wild possibilities of peeps they know]

Sylvie: You’ll literally never get it

Sylvie: think 😢🥀📹💔

Maggie: Not my niece! 

Maggie: Jesus, Mary and Joseph, heard it all now

Sylvie: Not Bobby, as that would actually make sense

Sylvie: Guess he was mining misery for his songs, or whatever

Maggie: Jacob, Jacob, Jacob

Maggie: well I never

Sylvie: Small 🌍

Maggie: It’s confidential, yeah? You can’t tell us why he’s in

Sylvie: Sounds like prison

Sylvie: but no, probably shouldn’t, unless I find out he’s let slip about me, game over then, obvs

Maggie: 🧦🎱🧼🧱  prison rules for snitches and what they get

Sylvie: Much as you’d LOVE to flex your auntie status

Sylvie: he wasn’t as entirely obnoxious as he usually is

Maggie: Tiny Tim effect, don’t fall for it

Sylvie: You’re never saying that poor crippled wee 🐸 was a menace 

Maggie: I’ll saying Jacob there’ll play you like a wee fiddle as if he’s all 🥺💔🤕🦽 he’s a lad, is he, no?

Maggie: remember when [a boy] fell down the mountain for my attention

Sylvie: What for? He has the loyalest 🐶 he can get, he’s not chancing that

Maggie: He’d have himself a pack if he could get away with it, we all of us know that to be true

Sylvie: It was a steep hill at best, let’s not get carried away

Maggie: To be sure it took the piss is the point

Sylvie: We’re all of us knowing that the playing was mutual, whatever love square they had going on there, can only put 1/4th of the blame on his shoulders

Maggie: Careful how you go back in, that’s all

Maggie: Are you?

Sylvie: I don’t know

Sylvie: I mean, I wasn’t expecting a cure but did it help talking to any of them?

Maggie: 1 strike and you’re out’s not the game though

Maggie: you’ve to give it best of 3, at least, come on now

Sylvie: I am 🖤🥀💀 and 🥺💔🤕🦽 if you recall

Sylvie: Couldn’t we just give you some vaguely life-threatening illness and call it a day instead

Maggie: I could go undercover to hold your hand, like, but it feels villain era to fake being on death’s door even for the good

Sylvie: The shame if you got caught 😶

Maggie: Well, I’d not, away with yous for suggesting such a thing! But still, bigger picture, I don’t think you really need my help

Maggie: Whos are they anyway? It’s nothing you can’t hack

Sylvie: You are REALLY subtle, famously so

Sylvie: They just made us feel like I was in my villain era, how nice and positive they all were

Maggie: I know they did, and I’m raging 

Maggie: Do you want to 🥚🥚🥚 [the most overly positive person they know IRL whether that’s a teacher or a doctor or what]’s house about it?

Sylvie: Maybe

Sylvie: Definitely

Maggie: We’ve 🥚🥚🥚 in abundance and as it’s more eco than 🧻🧻 I’m calling the thing mammy sanctioned

Sylvie: I have no doubt she would

Sylvie: even if I wasn’t very ✌️ & 💚 with ‘em

Maggie: Ah patience of a saint compared to me, you and her both

Maggie: I’ve my daddy to thank for my none

Sylvie: It’s pretty overrated, even as virtues go

Sylvie: when do you reckon Bobby and Libi will get together then?

Maggie: Can’t be rushed or I would’ve

Sylvie: 🙄 that’s not patience that’s penance

Maggie: Tell me about it

Maggie: I’ll be how many men down and babies out before she’s her act together?

Sylvie: You terrify me

Sylvie: and if you start as early as your mammy, I’ll have to kill you, sorry

Maggie: Up to 🙏⛪️

Sylvie: I’m serious, I’ll make you come to the convent with me 

Maggie: It’s yeah to a girl’s trip whenever and wherever but you don’t have the need to be taking yourself off to no 🐧🏠

Sylvie: Your daddy would sanction that one

Maggie: My daddy knows a 🎣 when he sees one and you still are

Maggie: so unless this is you saying you want to go in to come out 🏳️‍🌈🥳 it’s a nah from me

Sylvie: FINE 😣😖😤

Sylvie: I’ll keep myself pure on the outside

Maggie: On God, thanks for that one, sir, cos I love all my queers but it’s lonely being one of the onlys on the het heap

Sylvie: Straight rights

Maggie: I can’t be the only holy show in the village, sometimes my back hurts from carrying all these mistakes aka boys about the place

Sylvie: I only wish I could help you in your crusade

Maggie: You could, who’s stopping you? Cos a doctor’s overstepping the mark and being dead inappropriate if they are, like 😬

Sylvie: Verging into nazi territory

Sylvie: you know why though, shh

Maggie: I have the knowing that you’re beautiful just like your ma

Maggie: and [someone]’s after going out with you, as he should be

Sylvie: Absolutely not 🙅‍♀️

Maggie: You’re making this into a thing ™️ when it’s no need to be

Maggie: you’re scared, I know, but fears are to be faced or they fuck yous up 🐯🥊🦁🥊

Sylvie: I don’t need to be facing it now, I can’t, when there’s all this… shit

Maggie: I’ll be there with you, it won’t be the group chat

Maggie: and by 💋🐸 you’ll get out your head thinking you’ve been cursed

Sylvie: Just not Tiny Tim, is it 🚫💋🐸 FINE

Sylvie: and NOT [this person, whoever you may be lmao] for real

Sylvie: We can go [to whatever cool kid event Jake asked if she was going to]

Maggie: And not tonight, you’ve had a day of it already

Maggie: but I can do [this event]

Sylvie: Who are we going to see when we’re 🥚🥚🥚 [this poor person’s] gaff, absolutely no rides, is who

Maggie: A challenge you’re giving us, is it?

Sylvie: No, good looking lads are too arrogant

Maggie: @ Jacob Cohen who you want to 💋🐸 all the same

Sylvie: Oh please

Sylvie: That girl kills her personality to get a fraction of his attention, it’s so sad

Maggie: I’d kill you if you did that, make no mistake

Sylvie: Good thing it’s never going to happen 😘

Sylvie: I couldn’t if I tried

Maggie: She said, personality TOO big, and she’s not wrong

Sylvie: It’s genetic

Maggie: But maybe I’m to rescue his girlfriend, it’s what mammy would do

Sylvie: I don’t see how? 

Sylvie: trying to steal her man has already been attempted and that was an utter fail

Maggie: The power of real mates who don’t ditch her on his say so?

Sylvie: Okay little miss ☀️ & 🌈

Sylvie: giving my little pony

Sylvie: IDK, maybe she’s happier being boring and on his arm

Maggie: I’ll report back 🦄✨

Sylvie: You’re going to meddle, aren’t you

Maggie: I need to know if the girl’s been happy a day of her life

Sylvie: Apparently, deliriously so

Maggie: He would say that

Sylvie: You’d have to hope you don’t turn yourself into white bread for less, yeah? 🤷‍♀️

Maggie: Ooh, you seriously don’t like her

Sylvie: I just think she’s stupid for doing it, she isn’t the only girl to, so no, I don’t have strong feelings either way

Maggie: Okay

Sylvie: I just have opinions, you know this

Maggie: Why you’re my favourite cousin

Sylvie: We’ll pretend it’s not a long list and easy to forget ones off it 😺😺😺😺😺😺😺

Maggie: I’d give you my bowel if I could

Sylvie: When they start taking bits away, we’ll zombie some of yours in, shall we

Sylvie: 💛💛💛

Maggie: IF they start

Sylvie: Right, if

Maggie: It could be alright, we don’t know yet ☀️🌈

Sylvie: I’ll get over my emo phase either way

Sylvie: without ruining my hair, remains to be seen

Maggie: I’m not hating your emo phase

Maggie: or that you’re sick in a way that means I don’t have to ruin my hair in solidarity, what worked for Sinead ain’t necessarily working for me

Sylvie: It depends, do you want to look like 👽/your mammy as a baby?

Sylvie: I see it very clearly in my head

Maggie: Us as a baby too, only just grew into my eyes feels like 

Sylvie: with your 👀s and my 👄s

Sylvie: giving zombie DIY realness

Maggie: Will we go in fancy dress for the [cool kid event]? 

Sylvie: Do you have an idea/want an excuse to shop?

Maggie: Always

Sylvie: It would take my mind off things

Sylvie: plus I’m encouraged to eat like shit now so we can get [a mcdonalds esque moment when you’re in town, you know the vibes]

Maggie: Super recognisable to a certain JC who ain’t my man Jesus or in disguise depending, I’ve idea(s)

Sylvie: Wow, his mammy really said she was gonna remind us Jesus was a Jew, eh

Sylvie: I don’t know if I like where this ��� is going though…

Maggie: His mam said justice for white Jesus

Maggie: but that boy’s ego don’t need no more encouragement off the comparison, I’ll not be making it again

Sylvie: This isn’t part of your SOS plan, is it? 

Maggie: This is all for you, no plan except outfits

Sylvie: And we’ll still look great

Maggie: I’ve missed you what with all the shite happening

Sylvie: Don’t get soppy, okay

Maggie: I’m not my daddy

Sylvie: 😅

Maggie: Bit out of order you’re not saying yous miss me when there’s only us here but ah well

Sylvie: I’m neither my mammy nor my daddy for that, the personality is a throwback obviously

Maggie: You’re nan, emo phase and all

Sylvie: Oh, fabulous

Sylvie: really working overtime to cheer me up, you

Maggie: 🤡🤹‍♀️🐘🥜🎪

Sylvie: I’m just so glad there’s worse drama right now in the family circus to distract from me being centre of attention

Sylvie: thanks, Janis

Maggie: She did do you that favour

Maggie: and when it blows over I’ll be ready with a new distraction, sure enough

Sylvie: Well she’s free to use it as a reason, my IOU

Sylvie: do you reckon I should tell the teachers, see if it gets me any favours of my own?

Maggie: About time they did something what weren’t 👿

Sylvie: Can they be trusted, is the question

Sylvie: you know what they’re like, Bobby only just got a interpreter 

Maggie: We can’t put the blame on ‘em for Libs going above and beyond in the name of obsession

Sylvie: See aforementioned girls, yeah 

Maggie: You’ll be the talk of the staff room, but I doubt the goss however juicy’s leaving there

Sylvie: only when it concerns [a juicy scandal like student-teacher relations vibe, even if this is fake news]

Sylvie: 💩 is not that level

Maggie: Right, you’ll be grand

Sylvie: I think [this goody-goodys house] is nearer mine, you best be getting a shift on

Maggie: 🚲🚀

Members List: 

gotspoons [Mod] (Rosie, 17, Chronic Fatigue)

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously [Mod] (Rich, 18, Multiple Sclerosis)

brainpain (Lauren, 19, TBI)

tigerbalm (Robyn, 15, Arthritis)

sonmychest (Kara, 13, Cystic Fibrosis) 

princemyshkin [New Member!] (Jake, 14, Epilepsy)

ihatemyguts [New Member!] (Sylvie, 14, Ulcerative Colitis) 

injectme [New Member!] (‘Denis’,‘14’ = Margot, 12, ‘Diabetes Type 1’)

ihatemyguts: 🚪🙋‍♀️ Me again… I guess most of you are still at school/uni/work rn but is anyone about? 

brainpain: 👀

brainpain: 👃

brainpain: 👅

ihatemyguts: Suitably creepy, well done

ihatemyguts: what are you up to today?

brainpain: 🎮🎧💰

brainpain: welcome back newbie

brainpain: weren’t sure we’d see you again

ihatemyguts: Nice

ihatemyguts: Me either but had the kind of day that only people like us would get so, worth a shot, right?

brainpain: kept me coming back

gotspoons: Me too 😊 then I couldn’t keep away! Hi again, Sylvie 💛

ihatemyguts: It is a good place to hide… that’s how it feels anyway

brainpain: 🥃🍸 who you hiding from? feds or civilians? 

ihatemyguts: 🐄🚲😈s, to avoid swearing about them

brainpain: tell your big sis what happened

ihatemyguts: Turns out my ‘rents had to tell the school about my hospital appointments anyway, and some ditzy secretary or someone let slip about my diagnosis

ihatemyguts: this one girl in particular, doing the whole pretending she’s asking lots of questions because she cares and not because she wants to humiliate me bit

ihatemyguts: I’ve walked home, f that

brainpain: fukc that 1 girl in particular

brainpain: what a

brainpain: c u next tues

ihatemyguts: Shouldn’t be surprised, she has form for it

ihatemyguts: the fact that anyone else could be sat there smirking along, or just not doing or saying anything… more disappointing 

brainpain: 💩 I had when the news broke about my near death experience

brainpain: this town’s vulture central man

ihatemyguts: Can only imagine, at least my bull💩 isn’t taking up column space

ihatemyguts: I probably should have fronted it out but I don’t have the 🎱⚽️s to do that yet

brainpain: f it

brainpain: yous can front it out the rest of the week

brainpain: take a breather 1st

sonmychest: hey

sonmychest: jk but I was lurking whilst in my own snoozefest of a lesson and I wanna say that girl sounds like the biggest loser, it might hurt but at least you’re cool

brainpain: ^^^ nobodys patting that 🐄🚲😈 on the back 

brainpain: shot herself in the face to anyone with half a 🧠 

brainpain: showing herself up & whoever the h raised her

sonmychest: ^ It’s NOT cute 😷

ihatemyguts: You’re both right, obviously

ihatemyguts: sound very woe is me to say it’s never been directed at me like that before but it hasn’t and it was a feeling I’m not looking forward to feeling again

brainpain: been there 

brainpain: not saying I was the princess of dubo or whatever pre getting my head caved in but like

brainpain: I was doing 👌 no trolls

gotspoons: I’m so sorry, first of all, but the others are right, I’m sure there were people who will take her to task for her nastiness, even if you didn’t witness it in the moment

gotspoons: people viewing you different post illness/injury/etc is rough, I think even more so if you yourself don’t feel any different, or the only difference IS this one small facet of you that’s not their business

ihatemyguts: 🎯👏 Not that I think I’m super hard or something but like, who does she think I am now just because I’m sick

ihatemyguts: should’ve slapped her, you live and you learn, eh?

brainpain: also rough if you’re down on yourself & that comment irl or online validates all the s you were already thinking

brainpain: 👟 her 💀 in she can join us here & we’ll all school her

sonmychest: OMG YES

sonmychest: to the first part… not me enthusiastically endorsing violence 🤪

sonmychest: ���Skinny’ is not a compliment to me when I can’t gain weight, ugh

brainpain: you know you wanna get involved in the brawl Kara

ihatemyguts: No one’ll see it coming, too bad the name is already taken (not sure if I’M personally allowed to say it but you know the one) 💙👊

gotspoons: I cannot condone this, neither can the group as a whole, just so we’re all clear 😬🤭

brainpain: yeah yeah

brainpain: it’s just my personal advice to leave her disabled

ihatemyguts: It is a teaching moment

ihatemyguts: in fairness, I wouldn’t be surprised if my cousin hasn’t heard and found her by now, I did forget to call her off on my way out the door 💁‍♀️

brainpain: everybodys got that cousin

brainpain: in my fam it’s me

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I heard there was incitement happening that needed breaking up?

brainpain: quiet my love

brainpain: you’re on my side

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Naturally

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Any energy wasted on this girl would be just that, it seems to me, though I’m all for advocating for yourself and your right to basic human decency

brainpain: when he’s so wise & sensible 😍🥰😘

brainpain: the chalk to my manic 🧀

sonmychest: Manic Cheese is an excellent band name 😍

ihatemyguts: 10/10 would play [the venue you usually see bands]

brainpain: you can have that for free girls

brainpain: start a band

sonmychest: rock out on my clarinet 🪈

ihatemyguts: Lung workout, 2 bird 1 stone, cool

brainpain: wheres Robyn @ ?

brainpain: there’s a baby who needs to rock out

ihatemyguts: I bet she knows ALL the K-pop girly dances

brainpain: nobody tell her rents 🤫

sonmychest: 🤐

brainpain: none of that talk’ll cheer up the newbie

ihatemyguts: Ah, say no more

ihatemyguts: I can see how this kind of stuff could turn any parent crazy

brainpain: anon rat out that girl to hers

ihatemyguts: 📢 your daughter is a piece of shyyyyyt

brainpain: 50/50 they’re not too?

brainpain: I need my boy here for the maths

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Am I being arrogant by assuming the new boy is not some kind of mathematical prodigy? Potentially

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I would say it’s debatable, the odds on the parents of an unsavoury individual also being so… so 50/50 works perfectly, flip of a coin, as it were

brainpain: arrogance works perfectly on me 

sonmychest: A room must be found for you two

brainpain: sharing my address is a kick outable offence

gotspoons: I’m so proud, Lauren

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Likewise

brainpain: hits different when he says it

brainpain: but thanks guys 💕

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I know it will be supremely unpopular as well as uncool to suggest this

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but if this girl, or anyone, carries on with this behaviour, you can and should tell an adult, don’t suffer in silence

tigerbalm: I agree with Rich

tigerbalm: sorry, I this min caught up

gotspoons: Robyn! 💛

tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Appreciate the backup

tigerbalm: Unrelated but btw I DO know the dances 😸

ihatemyguts: Omg, teach me

ihatemyguts: (and I appreciate it, guys, I promise I can handle her better than I did today, a blip)

tigerbalm: Are we allowed to send links? I pinky promise it’s not a virus (which makes it sound like a virus, I know, but it ISN’T)

sonmychest: 🦠 keep it 6-feet from me

gotspoons: 🤭 I think we can trust you not to send anything inappropriate

tigerbalm: [send some tutorials on how to do these dances kinda vibe because you can’t show her irl]

ihatemyguts: Catch me at [cool kid venue] killing it

tigerbalm: OMG as if you’re going to [this venue] + it’s almost like I’m coming with!

ihatemyguts: You should come sometime

tigerbalm: 😿 when I’m nearly 18 instead of 16 I’ll MAYBE be allowed

ihatemyguts: Between us all we have to be able to come up with good enough cover stories

ihatemyguts: Bible study, volunteering at a homeless shelter…

tigerbalm: 😸😹 you’re hilarious, Sylvie 

brainpain: onto something’s what she is

brainpain: nicely done new girl

ihatemyguts: Gotta be done, your K-pop moves cannot be confined to your bedroom forever, Robyn

tigerbalm: ilysm everyone 😻  you’re bad influences but good friends

sonmychest: we ly too 💞 vibes only today

✉️ private @ihatemyguts

princemyshkin: I heard what Sam did

ihatemyguts: Unsurprised 

ihatemyguts: so much for keeping it on the dl, I forgot quite how many appointments I’d had

princemyshkin: I don’t know what makes her think she can act like that

ihatemyguts: I don’t know, she’s just a bitch, I won’t psychoanalyze her about it

ihatemyguts: she doesn’t deserve it

princemyshkin: Yeah

princemyshkin: Did you go home?

ihatemyguts: I know, kinda lame

ihatemyguts: I just, panicked? It felt like panic, though I don’t know why in hindsight

princemyshkin: It’s not that, I looked for you in [whatever lesson she should’ve had, bonus points if it’s one he’s not in but he went to try and peep anyway]

ihatemyguts: Oh

ihatemyguts: well thanks, for checking in

princemyshkin: [the teacher] stopped me before I could get a real look, I couldn’t tell if you were there or you’d already left

ihatemyguts: [this teacher] thinks they’re a prison warden or something, seen them legit chase someone down the hallway before

ihatemyguts: you’re lucky, must’ve been in a tolerable mood

princemyshkin: I said it was important

ihatemyguts: I was hoping I’d get to speak to you

ihatemyguts: though everyone here has been pretty chill this time

princemyshkin: I had to wait until [a lesson you can get away with this in/lunch break/school to be over whichever the vibe is]

ihatemyguts: That’s cool, I wasn’t expecting it or anything but I did assume you’d hear it through the grapevine eventually

princemyshkin: [a friend] told me during [a lesson some time after this happened which we’re implying was too slow cos wanted to know sooner cos we care]

ihatemyguts: You came with receipts

ihatemyguts: swear I wasn’t going to call you out for being a fake sick kid if you didn’t come through

princemyshkin: What are you going to do?

ihatemyguts: Kicking her head in OR telling her mammy have both been suggested but

ihatemyguts: probably nothing, it’ll die down, don’t you think?

princemyshkin: I’m a pacifist 

princemyshkin: and I’ve met her mother, she’d find a way to justify Sam’s behaviour again, it’s a pattern

ihatemyguts: I didn’t know you guys were that close, used to be

princemyshkin: I thought we were but she thought we should be closer

ihatemyguts: I get it

ihatemyguts: I think every girl has had a friend like that

princemyshkin: Have you?

ihatemyguts: I wasn’t always defective, tah very much

princemyshkin: This friend of yours probably isn’t thinking of you as defective, unless they’ve really changed, or you have really bad taste 

ihatemyguts: It’s nothing to do with my taste, I don’t like him back, that’s the point

ihatemyguts: it’s awkward, I’m sorry Sam did that to you

princemyshkin: I’m sorry she hasn’t learned anything, doing that to you sucks

ihatemyguts: She probably thought it’d get stronger laughs than it did

ihatemyguts: at least I don’t have to go that low for attention, right?

princemyshkin: She’s always been tone deaf, in and out of the music block

ihatemyguts: 😅 okay, you’ve cheered me up

princemyshkin: Everyone’s agreed to boycott [whatever band she’s trying to front now whether that’s still his old one or another she’s had to move onto cos she’s shit], their gigs and uploads

ihatemyguts: Ah, I’m not sure about that though

ihatemyguts: won’t that make everyone else in that band hate me

princemyshkin: If they remain in a band with her, they’re part of the problem

ihatemyguts: Okay, I don’t want to be the poster girl for this

princemyshkin: It’s bigger than just you

ihatemyguts: She was insulting me, no one else

princemyshkin: She’s hurt loads of people

ihatemyguts: Then they can say something to her about their own beef

princemyshkin: They have, they are

ihatemyguts: Okay, as long as this extra shit isn’t being done on my behalf

ihatemyguts: I’m not a cause

princemyshkin: It’s not a revolution, people are just fed up of her continuing to treat everyone badly

ihatemyguts: She’s a mess but

ihatemyguts: is your girlfriend gonna let her get shunned the way she was

princemyshkin: I thought you’d be happy

ihatemyguts: What do you mean?

princemyshkin: It doesn’t matter, I’ll call it off

ihatemyguts: Well, is it a revolution or not, Jake

ihatemyguts: why would you go ahead and set anything up

princemyshkin: Why are you angry at me?

ihatemyguts: Because this makes me some freak to feel sorry for and meanwhile you get to be the good guy whilst hiding your own sickness

princemyshkin: No it doesn’t, she did that, tried to do it

princemyshkin: I talked about maybe denying her the attention she desperately craves to the point of hurting whoever to get it

ihatemyguts: And what’s in it for you?

princemyshkin: Sam finally realising enough is enough, that’s the only reward

ihatemyguts: The points you’ll score can’t hurt

princemyshkin: I told you I don’t care about scoring points

princemyshkin: and that I won’t go ahead with it now

ihatemyguts: Do you think I’m being unreasonable about this?

princemyshkin: You’re entitled to your point of view

ihatemyguts: A yes then

princemyshkin: I talked to her when I found out what happened, it didn’t do any good

ihatemyguts: You did?

ihatemyguts: What did she say?

princemyshkin: She called me overly sensitive, basically, those are my words not hers she used 

ihatemyguts: She’s going for edgy, clearly

ihatemyguts: Sorry, I didn’t mean to chew your head off that just made me feel weird

princemyshkin: It’s cool, you’re right, I was getting caught up in the wrong things

ihatemyguts: You have a right to call her out too, you’ve got history

ihatemyguts: and I appreciate that you aren’t just pretending to give a shit for kudos

princemyshkin: I wouldn’t, you’re not a cause

ihatemyguts: You could boycott, it isn’t just about me, you’re right

ihatemyguts: this thing is making me so in my head

princemyshkin: I don’t know, if I go after her, that makes me as bad as her, doesn’t it?

ihatemyguts: You are the pacifist 

ihatemyguts: if it doesn’t feel right, don’t

ihatemyguts: I’m not gonna kick her head in, that’s not me 

princemyshkin: Nothing feels right

princemyshkin: my mother’s adamant we have to tell the school, tomorrow or the next day or whenever, I’m in the boat next to you

ihatemyguts: So you get it

ihatemyguts: I don’t want to be seen as THAT girl, like we felt about the people here

ihatemyguts: like, it’s my whole personality and everyone has to love me or something, just ‘cos

princemyshkin: It’s messed up, school’s already hard without any of this

ihatemyguts: Yeah

ihatemyguts: if you ever wanna hide too

princemyshkin: I do

ihatemyguts: We could keep each other company

ihatemyguts: if you don’t wanna mess with China’s schooling about it

princemyshkin: She wants to be the first person in her family to go to uni, I can’t ruin that for her

ihatemyguts: No, bit of a dick move, for sure

ihatemyguts: what does your ma do for work?

princemyshkin: She’s a nurse

ihatemyguts: Oh, yikes

ihatemyguts: now I know why she’s been so hardcore about this

princemyshkin: What does yours do?

ihatemyguts: She writes, kids books, mainly

ihatemyguts: she does a lot of working from home, so yours is a better spot, when your ma is on shift

princemyshkin: Cool, I live in [like the suburb or neighbourhood not his full address, so she knows roughly where it is in relation to her house/school etc, we all know it’s a shithole because his poor mum is a single parent]

ihatemyguts: Cool

ihatemyguts: you can tell me when you want to disappear for a while, I’ll come through

princemyshkin: [where he lives] is no Paris

ihatemyguts: Not yet

ihatemyguts: better than school right now though

princemyshkin: I regret not leaving when you left

ihatemyguts: You should

ihatemyguts: stress isn’t good for you, not even a lie

princemyshkin: An empty house isn’t if I have a fit

ihatemyguts: how long would it take for you to get a service dog?

princemyshkin: I’d have to google it

ihatemyguts: If there’s a long ass waiting list, like everything, I could ask how hard it might be to train a dog to alert if you have a fit, I know someone who might know

princemyshkin: I assume there is too

ihatemyguts: I bet they’re easier to train than guide dogs, it’s the one thing but

ihatemyguts: I could be way off

princemyshkin: Who are you asking?

ihatemyguts: My cousin, she’s trained lots of dogs in the general sense, but she might have some idea

princemyshkin: My sister would be happy, she’s wanted a dog since she was, like, 8

ihatemyguts: She might consider talking to you again

ihatemyguts: [send him a pic of your dogs because we’ve always vibed before that they have a lil dog and a big one and I feel like that’s real]

princemyshkin: Where did you rescue them from?

ihatemyguts: [tell him because I’m sure you did, you’re those types too]

princemyshkin: We should go there

ihatemyguts: Alright, yeah

princemyshkin: Tomorrow

ihatemyguts: Tomorrow

ihatemyguts: I’ll send my cousin a message now

princemyshkin: Do I lie and pretend we’re not all vegan?

ihatemyguts: As long as you’re prepared to accept the dog as a carnivore, I think it’s okay

princemyshkin: I accept everyone’s right to choose

ihatemyguts: I’m sure you can find the most cruelty-free pet food going

princemyshkin: More googling

ihatemyguts: Busy boy

ihatemyguts: who needs homework

princemyshkin: But do you want your homework from [the classes she has missed, even ones he is not in because he would sort it]?

ihatemyguts: I suppose it can’t be all puppies and Paris

ihatemyguts: you don’t mind?

princemyshkin: I wouldn’t offer if I minded, how passive-aggressive

ihatemyguts: It feels wrong to thank you for homework though

princemyshkin: I haven’t thanked you for tomorrow

ihatemyguts: Let it get here before you do

ihatemyguts: it might be intolerable

princemyshkin: I don’t think so

ihatemyguts: We’ve not spent any time together in a group smaller than… a dozen or more people, probably

princemyshkin: I know, you don’t like me

ihatemyguts: And I don’t know you

princemyshkin: Don’t you?

ihatemyguts: You said it, or words to that effect

princemyshkin: We’ve been getting to know each other

ihatemyguts: Yeah, a little

princemyshkin: Has it been intolerable so far?

ihatemyguts: I might not use the word intolerable

princemyshkin: Well then, no reason to jump to the conclusion about tomorrow

ihatemyguts: Your ego, my god 😏

princemyshkin: You know I’m a realist, it’s how stuff is

ihatemyguts: As long as you know how determined it makes me not to like you

princemyshkin: Your determination makes me like you more

ihatemyguts: Admit you want to win

princemyshkin: Win you over? I did admit that

ihatemyguts: That counts

princemyshkin: Stress isn’t good for me, you know

ihatemyguts: Shameless tactic, the guilt trip

princemyshkin: Be friends with me for my health

ihatemyguts: You are such a dick, it’s unbelievable, actually

princemyshkin: I’ll never make it to Paris, you have to

ihatemyguts: Is there nothing you won’t do?

princemyshkin: The only line I won’t cross is through the middle of that city

ihatemyguts: I’ll put you on probation 

princemyshkin: For how long?

ihatemyguts: However long it takes you to pass or fail

princemyshkin: Graded on a curve or not?

ihatemyguts: Do you expect to be that much better than the friends I have to compare you to?

princemyshkin: Yeah

ihatemyguts: By all means, go ahead and impress me then

princemyshkin: I’ll start by dropping off your homework, if you’re not impressed your parents will be

ihatemyguts: Oh, you are SUCH a parent pleaser

princemyshkin: Tell that to China’s mother, she can’t stand me

ihatemyguts: That’s hilarious

princemyshkin: No it’s not, it’s the first time ever

princemyshkin: she’s ruined my streak

ihatemyguts: Precisely

ihatemyguts: adults are meant to not be so upfront about it

ihatemyguts: Why do you think she hates you?

princemyshkin: She kinda said it to my face

ihatemyguts: 😂 go on, tell me what she said

princemyshkin: I don’t want to, you agree with her

ihatemyguts: Your streak 🥺

princemyshkin: And it’s not funny, actually

ihatemyguts: Why do you need her to like you?

princemyshkin: I love her daughter

ihatemyguts: You’re 14, she’s not your MiL

princemyshkin: She could be

ihatemyguts: It still doesn’t matter, my mammy’s mammy hates my father, it’s irrelevant

princemyshkin: We’re family orientated

ihatemyguts: So’s my family

ihatemyguts: You can’t force China or her mother to be

princemyshkin: I’m not forcing anything

ihatemyguts: Okay

princemyshkin: And wanting her to like me isn’t a crime

ihatemyguts: It’s your life

princemyshkin: Where do you live?

ihatemyguts: [tell him, gotta if he’s to drop off this homework]

ihatemyguts: Hope that doesn’t set the sirens off

princemyshkin: [tell her how long you’ll be, your extra ass coming straight from school, we see you]

ihatemyguts: You don’t have to stay or anything, by the way

princemyshkin: I’ll just talk over [something they did in a class he was in of hers and has taken notes for, like it’s so complicated she needs him to mansplain it so she will understand the homework] with you, but then, yeah, I’ll head home if you’d like me to

ihatemyguts: I’m sure you’re busy

princemyshkin: Not really

ihatemyguts: Yeah, me either

princemyshkin: We could do it together, our homework

ihatemyguts: You could do it for me, seems like you know so much about [whatever he just mansplained like lol]

princemyshkin: I’ll help you, totally

ihatemyguts: Do you want to go to Uni?

princemyshkin: I don’t see what they’d teach me about music

ihatemyguts: True

ihatemyguts: You’re not giving up then

princemyshkin: On my passion? No

ihatemyguts: You didn’t know, if you could keep being on stage, I mean

princemyshkin: I still don’t, but I’m not willing to give up, I know that

ihatemyguts: Good, you shouldn’t

ihatemyguts: however depressive I might feel one moment to the next, that’s always true

princemyshkin: What about uni for you?

ihatemyguts: Probably?

ihatemyguts: I’m not sold either way yet, truthfully

princemyshkin: You don’t need to be before you’re closer to my sister’s age

ihatemyguts: Said like you are but exactly

ihatemyguts: why rush?

princemyshkin: She wants to go to [a uni far away like in another country] but she’ll end up at [one in ireland that’s the equivalent level of however smart you are girl/the vibe of what you wanna study]

ihatemyguts: Wishful thinking from you or how homesick she’d honestly be 🤔

princemyshkin: You said it yourself, she’s full on

ihatemyguts: So are you, like

princemyshkin: In comparison, I’m not

ihatemyguts: I’ll believe you

ihatemyguts: my sister is way more emo than me, promise

princemyshkin: I’ll believe you back

ihatemyguts: Doesn’t mean we’re friends, Cohen, FYI

princemyshkin: We can start on friendship tomorrow

ihatemyguts: It’s all about [the subject of this homework] today, yeah??

princemyshkin: Yeah, you probably wanna go to uni

ihatemyguts: And you think you can win me over before we finish 

princemyshkin: [a subject or a teacher] did give you loads of homework

ihatemyguts: And you’re my own personal punishment from the universe, then

princemyshkin: Personal tutor, if anything

ihatemyguts: This isn’t a service you offer everyone?

princemyshkin: To any of my friends who need it, but they don’t take up the offer much

ihatemyguts: Not your tutoring not living up to your bold claims 😮

ihatemyguts: I was hoping I’d be able to reach out for some testimonials

princemyshkin: It’s them not realising my potential, no reflection on my skills

ihatemyguts: I thought it might be

princemyshkin: Most of them think what I’m good at begins and ends with a microphone and a [whatever guitar he plays idk about that]

ihatemyguts: You find that frustrating 

princemyshkin: It isn’t my entire personality any more than the seizures would be if people found out

ihatemyguts: Right

ihatemyguts: I think people assume when it’s positives, that you don’t mind being seen so narrowly

princemyshkin: I didn’t used to, I guess you’re rubbing off on me

ihatemyguts: Calling you out the other day rubbed you the wrong way

princemyshkin: It doesn’t happen

ihatemyguts: You’re surrounded by people who are more than a little invested in how amazing you are, not likely to happen

princemyshkin: I’ve sorta been living in an echo chamber for a long time without noticing

ihatemyguts: I was pretty sure you knew

ihatemyguts: that conviction isn’t so strong now

princemyshkin: Sometimes maybe

ihatemyguts: Everyone likes to be liked, it isn’t a crime, really

princemyshkin: I know, you just like to treat it as one

ihatemyguts: I don’t like inauthenticity, that’s all

princemyshkin: We’re not going to be our authentic selves until we’re older, and even then, it’s not guaranteed for everyone

ihatemyguts: Life’s too short, I’m not waiting

princemyshkin: This is when we get to try things out, explore different selves

ihatemyguts: You think I’m anti that?

princemyshkin: I don’t think you can say you’re really you before you’ve lived more life and met at least a handful of people who’ve changed you

ihatemyguts: You think I’m naive 

princemyshkin: You’re 14, you’re meant to be naive

ihatemyguts: I don’t want to waste time, in the wrong places with the wrong people

princemyshkin: You’ll only waste time if you’re determined to, the wrong places and the wrong people or things can be as worthwhile as the right ones

ihatemyguts: I don’t think so

princemyshkin: You think you already know everything, that’s why

ihatemyguts: No I don’t

princemyshkin: Unless life gets cut short, it’s long

ihatemyguts: And I know that people waste time in situations and with people that aren’t meant for them

ihatemyguts: there’s nothing poetic or romantic about it

princemyshkin: But it’ll teach them something, if they’re open to learning lessons like that

ihatemyguts: I don’t want to learn lessons, I want to be happy

princemyshkin: You can’t be happy unless you know what you want and that’s trial and error for loads of people

ihatemyguts: That’s such a male way to think

ihatemyguts: get what you want, cast it aside to try out everything else just to make sure

princemyshkin: The alternative is, not being sure or happy

ihatemyguts: I have instincts, I trust mine

princemyshkin: Feminine intuition, if you wanna gender everything

ihatemyguts: Male ego to assume that the thing you want will wait for you to explore your options, yeah

princemyshkin: Either it’s meant for me and it’ll find a way back to me or it isn’t

ihatemyguts: Oh God, why are you talking like a hippie

princemyshkin: There’s validity to it

ihatemyguts: So you do what you like then and fuck everyone around you?

princemyshkin: Where did I mention I condone hurting anybody?

ihatemyguts: Our choices and behaviour have consequences for ourselves and other people, that’s just reality

princemyshkin: The reality is, everyone wants to be happy and for the people they care about to be

ihatemyguts: Yeah and that isn’t hard

ihatemyguts: You don’t need to search the globe and meet every person to make it happen, people overcomplicate everything

princemyshkin: It can be hard

ihatemyguts: You’re happy, are you not?

princemyshkin: Not today, that’d be pretty insensitive

ihatemyguts: I don’t expect you to care

princemyshkin: I care

ihatemyguts: I don’t understand why

princemyshkin: You didn’t deserve the day you had

ihatemyguts: I’m fine

ihatemyguts: doesn’t need to be your problem

princemyshkin: Am I a problem to you?

ihatemyguts: I don’t know what you are

princemyshkin: I don’t know that you’re fine

ihatemyguts: who is

princemyshkin: [the person who spilled that tea about her being a sick kid, like lord knows she’s probably completely unphased]

ihatemyguts: Good one, you’re probably right there

princemyshkin: I’d have said Sam but she’s obviously not

ihatemyguts: I don’t want to be like her

princemyshkin: Why would you?

ihatemyguts: I mean I can’t be, that pathetic

princemyshkin: I mean, why would you even have the thought, you’re nothing like her

ihatemyguts: Far as you know

princemyshkin: I’m no stranger to Sam or you

ihatemyguts: At least my hair isn’t yellow, I’ll always have that going for me

princemyshkin: You have loads going for you

ihatemyguts: This is going to start feeling like a pep talk, we don’t need to do that

princemyshkin: I’m not doing that

ihatemyguts: I could feel it coming

princemyshkin: Your instincts told you, yeah?

ihatemyguts: Or you’re predictable?

princemyshkin: In the sense that I’m [however far away he is rn but the point being getting closer as something she could predict because it’s inevitable]

ihatemyguts: Is there anything you’d like me to prepare for your imminent arrival? 

princemyshkin: It’s cool, don’t put yourself out

ihatemyguts: Yep, unbearably chill

princemyshkin: You don’t want me to stay

ihatemyguts: I never said that

princemyshkin: You did

ihatemyguts: When?

princemyshkin: I have instincts too

ihatemyguts: If you trust them

princemyshkin: Are you saying I shouldn’t?

ihatemyguts: No, I don’t know

princemyshkin: Do you know what you want?

ihatemyguts: Don’t I know everything?

princemyshkin: What then?

ihatemyguts: I’m not telling you

princemyshkin: Why?

ihatemyguts: You know why

princemyshkin: You win if I’m no closer to an answer the closer I get to your house?

ihatemyguts: How could I refuse?

princemyshkin: But I don’t understand what you’re winning, you could just tell me if I’m invited in or not

ihatemyguts: It really is that simple, isn’t it…

ihatemyguts: alright, come in

princemyshkin: You like authenticity, be real about it

ihatemyguts: It’s been a strange day, a strange however long it’s been since all this started

princemyshkin: You don’t have to be fine

ihatemyguts: There are some things I can’t be though

princemyshkin: There aren’t wrong answers, how you feel isn’t part of the homework

ihatemyguts: You’re not grading me on a curve back?

princemyshkin: No, I’m not

ihatemyguts: I’m not a hot mess, that’s not something I can let myself be

princemyshkin: It isn’t messy to express your feelings, it’s healthy

princemyshkin: bottling them up’s not something I can let you do

ihatemyguts: I can’t decide if we’ll regret it more if you leave or if you stay, okay

princemyshkin: I’d regret leaving you, I know that

ihatemyguts: And if I’ve got this horrifically wrong?

princemyshkin: You don’t trust me but you do your instincts, how wrong can you go?

ihatemyguts: That’s what I’m spiralling about

princemyshkin: Stop spiralling, it’s okay

ihatemyguts: I want you to make this decision

ihatemyguts: will you?

princemyshkin: Yeah

ihatemyguts: Okay

princemyshkin: It is, I meant that

ihatemyguts: I don’t know what’s wrong with me today

princemyshkin: Your control was taken away, you didn’t get to handle any of it how you wanted

ihatemyguts: Yeah

ihatemyguts: and now my heart won’t slow down

princemyshkin: But I’ll come in and it’ll only be us and however you feel I’ll stay

ihatemyguts: I don’t want to do anything that makes you leave, because right now, I need you

princemyshkin: I won’t

ihatemyguts: I’m sorry, for being so intense

princemyshkin: I get it, I’d be worse if roles were reversed

ihatemyguts: I’m not sure I believe you this time but

ihatemyguts: I’m doubting things I thought I knew about myself

princemyshkin: When it’s my turn, you’ll see

ihatemyguts: I do hope it doesn’t happen to you, I’m not that petty

princemyshkin: It’s a matter of time before it does

ihatemyguts: Probably

ihatemyguts: I’m no optimist

princemyshkin: I’ll need you too

ihatemyguts: Okay, it’s a deal

[aalghul]

Jason and Dick’s relationship actually was good enough that, once we account for Jason’s time as Robin being so short in real time and not fleshed out, we can assume they were very close. it actually makes more sense than them not being close, definitely more sense than them being “okay at best”. What bothers me about “okay at best” is that it implies that them having a good relationship was only the outcome we can see if we look at things positively. There’s no option but for them to have been good brothers. That’s not fanon. There is no “worst” in this scenario, because Dick and Jason were always reaching out to each other (well. Dick was always reaching out to Jason. Duck on that “Dick avoided Jason while he was Robin” believers). Jason’s not close to anyone of his other siblings (besides Duke) in canon, but Dick has never been up for debate. Brothers in Blood is…a mess. But it clearly shows that Dick is one person Jason would never want to cut off (with Jason reaching out to Dick this time…in his own fucked up way). That doesn’t come from them having been distant as Robin and Nightwing.

Jason being 11 years old to 15 was squished into a very short run irl. It was almost the same amount of years as in-universe. Compare that to Dick or Tim’s decades as Robin. A lot of stuff with Jason was never given screen time because he was killed off before that could happen. Post-crisis Jason was Robin while Barbara retired and Dick was trying to be someone separate from Batman. It was just Bruce, Jason, and Alfred because that’s what made sense with the story, not because Dick wasn’t close to Jason. If Jason hadn’t been killed, we would’ve seen more of those stories. But we saw enough to know that they weren’t two people who happened to share a guardian. I’d like to remind everyone that Jason’s time on the Titans as Robin is explicitly still canon. That should explain enough. Even post-crisis, when Dick isn’t even told about Robin, he still gives Jason his own costume and number so that they could talk whenever Jason felt like it. “But he never called” We have no clue if he called or not. Jason was barely Robin in real time. There was no time to fit any of that in there while accounting for Dick’s own ongoing stories, and then Starlin just not wanting to write Jason in general. Everything else points to the conclusion that they were close, they were brothers in every sense of the word. You have to be willing to put the pieces together when it comes to Jason’s time as Robin because we have so little of it, even though it’s supposed to span almost 5 years. We are missing a lot. But look at how Dick is personally haunted by Jason’s death. Not like Danny or any other kid’s, but Jason’s specifically. He hallucinates him in his own solo, he’s so shaken that Raven immediately offers to help him with her powers, he brings it up in TLL. All decades before Jason’s resurrected. If you want to believe they didn’t have a close relationship, then you can choose to be wrong, I guess.

Point is: people aren’t compensating for fanon “Dick was a bad brother” bs when they say Dick and Jason had a close relationship as brothers before Jason died; it is literally the best interpretation. “They wish they had been closer” is still the fanon interpretation, actually.

[hintofelation99]

Tam: You're all insane.

Jason, rolling his eyes: Don't be so dramatic, we're fine!

Tam looking skeptical: Really? What are your go to solutions?

Jason: Murd- non-fatal maiming.

Bruce, looking exasperated: Did you almost say murder?

Jason: The key word there is almost Brucie.

Bruce, unimpressed: That is not very reassuring Jason.

Dick: Don't be so judgemental Bruce, he's doing amazing! I'm very proud of you Jaybird.

Jason: Thank you Dickiebird! Besides Brucie, you're the one who taught me that violence is always the answer.

Bruce: I did not teach you-

Bruce: Okay, maybe I encouraged violence, but violence is not my go to solution. My go to solution is to carefully analyze the situation and developed a well-informed solution.

Steph: You're just avoiding the question! Your go to solution can not be to research a good solution!

Cass: She's right.

Dick: Yeah, no your go to solution is to adopt a child and beat up a clown.

Jason: Then get the kid killed by the clown.

Bruce:

Duke, whispering: Damn...

Roy, rolling his eyes: Don't be a drama king. We can have awkward trauma guilt trips later Jaybird. For now we need to focus on Tam's genius inquiry. Bruce adopts then beats up clowns and Jay maims the scum of the earth, how about you Dickie?

Jason: Me? A drama king? Never. And this is none of your business, why are you even here?

Roy: To watch the world burn. Now don't distract Dick from the question at hand.

Dick, rolling his eyes: I just talk it out, no big deal!

Tim: No you don't, you beat people up, fight with B, then act all bossy.

Dick: ...well that was unnecessary.

Tim: It was very necessary.

Jason: I think it can be narrowed down to 'fight with B and act bossy,' which honestly Timbo, is better than your go to.

Tim rolling his eyes: What's my go to?

Steph: A twenty step plan that ends in mass destruction. Same as Babs.

Babs: No no no. My solution is gather all available information. Then mass destruction. And honestly Steph, you should be grateful for that, it's saved your ass many times, considering your solution is basically just 'poke it with a stick and see if it kills me'.

Steph: I'm pretty sure that's also Cass' solution, and she's doing great!

Cass: No.

Tim: Cass is right, she doesn't have a go to solution. She is the go to solution.

Tam: That is... terrifying?

Cass just smiles.

Roy: Okay, but Cass being terrifying is normal, c'mon lets hear about one of the other poorly adjusted children.

Jason: The amount of entertainment you get from the conversation is very concerning.

Roy: Shhhh, babe. We aren't talking about my shitty mental state, we're talking about your families shitty mental state. Now, how does Damian deal with stuff?

Tim: Damian, tries to kill the problem.

Damian: Tt. That is not my solution of choice for every problem.

Tim: You literally tried to kill me when you thought I was a problem.

Damian: That is completely different.

Dick: I mean- I wouldn't say you try to kill everything, but you definitely try to stab everything

Roy: Ok, ok. We have Bruce who's Mr. Adopt-a-kid n' hit the clown. Dick, who's solution is 'it's not a phase dad' and 'I'm oldest listen to me'. Babs who basically just ruins her enemies lives. Then there's Jay, who just hits assholes. And Timmy who puts Lex Luthor to shame. Steph just goes for it and hopes she doesn't die. And Cass who is the solution. And Stabby McStabster who Stabs people. Who else?

Tam: Duke?

Duke: I think, compared to everyone else, my solutions are normal.

Jason: You lead a gang and... oh my god.

Duke: What?

Jason: You have the same solution as Bruce!

Duke: What? No I don't!

Jason: You got some kids to help you beat up the mentally ill! You're Bruce!

Tim: Holy shit Duke, he's right.

Steph: Oh my god! Everyone thinks you're well adjusted but really you're just a mini McBroodster!

Bruce: Stephanie, do not call me McBroodster. Duke, you solutions are generally respectable.

Dick: He's only saying that because they're his solutions.

Jason: Didn't the Joker try to repeat B's trauma origin with you?

Duke: Oh my god.

Bruce: Boys stop making-

Duke, looking horrified: I'M YOU!

Bruce: Why are you upset about that? I handle things very well?

Jason: Haha Duke's gonna be a moody asshole when he grows up!

Duke looks horrified.

Dick, pulling Duke into a hug: Don't worry Duke, we can get through this together.

[bad4amficideas]

Random Batboys Yandere HCs

Hey hello, ask is open, not only like but say what you like since Idk what I'm doing?... may I crosspost this on AO3?

Note: English is not my language, so I hope you will be understanding of any flaws you find.

Dick is the best at emotional manipulation. Also, for having grown up in the circus, his social façade is the natural (because Brucie one makes me want to hit him in the face)

In Gotham chats "Wayne most likely to be yandere" theories always puts Dick last (Tim is offended) and "Brucie" (not Bruce) first. But, with their vigilantes egos they put Robin as last likely yandere because is a brat with high standards, Batman because... Batman and Red Hood as most likely be the one. The boys don't understand how the mind of the gothamites works. Neither do I.

Is this going to sound contradictory or weird? but I think most of them would be fine and respect you being aro or ace... although for the same reason, they would turn sex into The Punishment (with Damian leading the top of "more likely to use it as") Jason in his best mental moments lest likely, like never force anything sexual.

Bruce and Jason kinda will have occasional sex with the man or woman whom offered to them if you are a big nono.

If all or some of them would have to share you, almost everyone would pick to share with Dick and immediately regrets it, because everyone, including Bruce, compares themselves with him and even though he doesn't search for it, he makes others feel that he is really competence. Bruce + anyone but Jason is the best for sharing. Jason and Damian once quit trying kill each other and actually talk it, work surprisingly well too.

Ironically, the more members of the batboys share you, the better for everyone's dynamics. The more, the merrier! But RobinBoysTeam is 💋

...Just because you don't catch Stephanie and Cass together (and Barbs at times) though. You don't want to add girls to the mix, they somehow seem easier to you to manipulate than the boys... but they aren't. At all.

If you're a vigilante/hero without superpowers, Bruce, Tim and Dick are more kinda locking or tricking you in giving up asap. Damian and Jason would at least give you the bare minimum of showing your worth or even training you (depends on the context, how you are, etc)

If you have superpowers, Dick and Tim are more likely to find it... exciting. Bruce and Damian more like to put some superpower block or suppressor (respectively) on you in case they need to control you. Jason will work according to how things unfold.

So yes, checked that Batman would be the most controlling of all.

Install cameras, track your phone, read your computer history? The point is who takes the LONGER to fall into the temptation and do it. Also a matter of patience and how wide your social circle is... and how necessary is for them take meassures to avoid... unnecessary risks.

I think that even though many imagine Tim as the first to set up cameras and going in your files, he would enjoy discovering and eliciting your likes and dislikes the old-fashioned way.

Or who, ahem, Damian, Jason, maybe Dick if you catch him on a weird day, see it as a HuNt. A game of seduction (Bruce ways) can also be a hunt, but these three could -inadvertently- go a little literal for fun. Like, to be a vigilante or hero. No superpowers. In Gotham. You've got to have an adrenaline problem, I dare you to deny it to me.

Steal things from you, watch over you while you sleep (bonus if they manage to enter your room), if you cook or something, eat the leftovers. Rubbing on your bed or sofa (soak in your scent and leave theirs). Send small gifts or tokens. Needless to say, they always has to "accompany" you home... I wanted to say who was most likely to do what, but hell *fan*. Everyone would do all?They all, ALL have steal something from you though maybe only 2 from the 5 thought in brought you a substitute to cover the absence.

Tim would sleep where you if could be the case and since he knows your work schedule... also sometimes he does his own work from your home.

Jason would take your food just to see if (in case you made it ahead of time for when you got back from work) he could give it an extra touch of flavor or literally remake the dish so it's almost fresh when you get back, he may have also added some books to your library and read yours, who knows.

Damian enters the house, takes care of your plants and animals if you have, steals things, returns them, moves them but not (and you are now crashing with things and forgotting where is everything), he's all about being around the house and fantasizing what it would be like to be with you and how he watches over you, if he knows that you need / will need something, subtly move or reposition so that "oh, the umbrella, right, right! Raining today" (now subtly sticking out from where you had it stored).

Dick steals, sends you flowers / chocolate / whatever for any silly day (your saint, your birthday, first day at new job, new haircut, your finally gots "x" thing you wanted...) and your days (that you don't know what happened like the first time you "both" met, 1st time he visited your house, a non so random meeting at the supermarket that you won't remember) and watch you sleep.

Ok, this is another weird "rich people they have to be" thing of mine but I imagine them taking some of your possessions such as electrical devices, air system or how you call it, security system, window glasses and replacing it with better bulletproof versions but making sure that the hardware/external looks remains intact so you don't find out. Like, if Bruce has transmitted something to them, it is to be overprotective yanderes to a greater or lesser degree.

[incoherentbabblings]

every new cover or variant of the batgirls comic that comes out shows how beautiful stephanie is like I fully believe she could be a model she's always been beautiful but now it's like on bombshell level of gorgeous

my headcanon is whenever cass and damian see tim they tell him he traded down & steph is the best he'll ever do 😭

This ask set something off in me so apologies for the length and how it doesn't really talk about what you spoke of but it's my brain and it does this. So, a two pronged response. Firstly: BERNARD AIN'T A STEP DOWN DON'T BE MEEEAAAAAAAAANNNNNN.

He is perfectly cute and as vanilla-esque as you would expect a blonde blue eyed seventeen year old boy to be and absolutely no-one came out looking good by comparison from the early artists during Willingham's Robin run when Bernard first popped up. In comparison everyone in Urban Legends are just so generically cute and it's just blindingly clear Tim has a type. And that's...fine.

They cute...

I can't be too mad. A sea of white people...

Anyway. Part two is the interesting way Steph's physical beauty (or lack thereof) is treated (or not treated) within the comics themselves.

She's never been drawn as the prettiest girl in the room, and literally no-one in canon has ever called her out for being particularly attractive, save villains who are just doing so to degrade her and reduce her value to what she looks like. And yes okay a character does not have to be called beautiful in canon by her mother or boyfriend or friends to be such... but at the same time, her appearance is nowhere near the first notable thing about her. Superboy recognized her voice when she was Robin before her body or hair. She never even considers her own physical appearance either, which is something Cass has even done. She just... is. Which honestly I fricking love.

Though to be clear, she is meant to be attractive, even if not outstandingly so. Again, just because she's not explicitly stated as such doesn't mean we don't all have eyes. She's conventionally attractive by western euro-centric standards in literally every possible way. She's white, blue eyes, blond hair, average height, slim and hourglass and yet simultaneously athletic figure... Like Steph is drawn to be attractive, definitely.

It's really hard to give her any defined facial features aside from her colouring (and even her blue eyes have shifted to purple and green occassionally) but in general she seems to have a slightly longer nose and face and fat lips compared to other female characters her age like Harper (who, at the risk of sounding mean, is typically drawn more like a rat, with more close features). Steph does canonically have good legs and butt, if Barbara is to be believed, but Steph was a gymnast first before putting on the costume, so no surprises there.

I just find it interesting that for a character who, for a significant chunk of her existence, was designed to be a love interest, and yet has little to no textual commentary on her appearance. Even more so considering how much her initial costume completely covered her face, hair, body to toes, not to mention the cape which could hide her body too.

The only time I can think of when she comments on her own appearance tends to be concerning her hair; how she got its colour from her dad, and then when she cut it, she snarked about the implication of short hair implying a smarter more put together person than a long haired blonde bimbo. But even then, no-one actually ever comments on her hair cut, she just brings it up herself when Cole tries to (badly) flirt with her.

Her appeareance is just conventional enough to not be commented on.

Save the times when she'd being assaulted and degraded.

I don't know what to think about that honestly. Bad guys calling her hot and making comments about her body is obviously bad, but paired with the fact that no-one else ever does... it's interesting.

Personally speaking - so we've departed canon and just what I like - I've spoken before about how I like my Stephanie's to have a frankly illogical and impractical amount of long curly hair. But DC artists tend to go for shoulder length straight blonde with bangs. They have a vendetta against curly hair I swear... I also do like the idea of her having green eyes like she did when she was Robin. But she has been consistently blue eyed since 2008 ish? So I don't really have a leg to stand on there. I like the bird analogy really for her, since she was Robin after all. Pointed features, round cheeks, pouty lips. Slim and not particularly curvy is how I imagine her personally, in that way where most gymnasts certainly don't have hourglass figures, but hey. This is comics. The world's greatest acrobat Mr Grayson is apparently 5ft 10", which is likely too tall to be said world's greatest acrobat. Steph's proportions, hair and so on don't have to be perfect therefore.

ANYWAY. She is a very pretty girl, all things considered. I do really enjoy the artist they have for the upcoming Batgirls series. Giving her the blocky haircut back, the rabbit teeth and the freckles are excellent choices. Her eyes are the size of dinner plates I love it. Making her visually distinct from Cassie, Mia, Kara and Courtney is nothing but a good shout in my book.

I also won't say no to the cheesecake issues either. If DC want this girl to be explicitly beautiful then fuck it go for it. I just wish sometimes they'd remember that she is still a teenager...

Finally, to actually answer your ask. Yes. My Steph stan brain go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr prettiest girl in Gotham y/y?

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[nightwingmyboi]

Bruce firing Dick vs. Dick firing Tim

Soooo, I have seen a lot of people comparing the way that Bruce replaced Dick with Jason versus the way that Dick replaced Tim with Damian. (This happened some on my Batfam Replacement Montage post [x], which is what first brought it to my attention.) For some reason, a lot of people come out of this comparison thinking that Dick was not only just as bad and insensitive as Bruce (if they even think Bruce was in the wrong at all that is) but even that Dick is somehow worse. This legitimately confused the heck out of me. I don’t know if people are reading the same comics as me (though honestly with all the retcons and nonsense going on maybe we aren’t reading the same comics), so I’m just going to break each replacement down for you here and maybe you’ll see where I’m coming from when I think that is completely out of left field. 

Let’s start with Bruce. These panels have Dick (as Nightwing) recounting how things between him and Bruce went down (I’ve rewritten the text just below the image if it is blurry): 

Batman #416 

So while I was still laid up in bed, you dropped the bad news on me. No ifs, ands, or buts...I wasn’t to play Robin anymore. You couldn’t continue to assume the responsibility for a child fighting crime. For six years you trained me to be a crimefighter, then denied me that role. Of course, you assured me that it was for my own good. I lay there with a bandaged shoulder and my life in ruins. You smiled. Kicked a great big hole in my life, then walked out of the room. 

Following an encounter with the Joker, Dick is shot in the shoulder and nearly dies. Instead of comforting Dick, Bruce decides to follow up this traumatic event by firing Dick from Robin immediately. Bruce calls Dick a child, disregarding all the time Dick spent training to become Robin and Dick’s own agency, and basically attempts to kick him out of crimefighting all together. This may not be clear because of the image quality, but Dick literally starts crying in that last panel. But it doesn’t stop there: 

I don’t see what option I had, other than to split. Alfred tried to talk me out of it. It was Alfred who forced money on me so I’d have something to live on. You couldn’t even be bothered to say goodbye. 

Despite his concern for Dick being the motivating factor behind the firing, Bruce doesn’t even seem to be aware that Dick is leaving, and so Alfred is the one that tries to convince Dick to stay in Bruce’s stead. And where is Bruce during all this you may ask??

Sorry, he was busy working on a case at the time. And people wonder why Dick didn’t realize Bruce was doing this out of concern rather than distrust of his capabilities. Anyway, Dick leaves, eventually joins the Titans, and becomes Nightwing. Eighteen whole months pass--a freaking year and a half--and not once does Bruce try to get in touch with Dick to sort things out. Then, Dick finds out about his replacement in the newspaper: 

Bruce fired Dick because he didn’t want a child sidekick. Then he goes out and gets a freaking child sidekick, and, even better, makes him Robin. Robin isn’t just a costume to Dick. In many comics, Dick refers to the Robin role as meaning family, and that’s because Dick specifically crafted Robin as a way to remember his parents. 

Robin Annual #4 and The Titans #16

It doesn’t get much more personal than using your dead mother’s nickname for you and your family’s colors (which across comics are pretty consistently some combo of yellow/green/red) as your hero persona. And Bruce, despite knowing the origins of the costume, felt like he could do whatever he wanted with it. And he didn’t even have the decency to be upfront about it. You can see why this drives me crazy. He spends the rest of the issue beating around the bush and not telling Dick why he adopted Jason and made him Robin, and, in the end, he once again kicks Dick out of the house. Nice parenting Bruce. 

Now with Dick. I’ve seen some people accuse Dick of not talking to Tim and just pulling the Robin mantle right out from under him, but that isn’t really what the comics show us: 

Red Robin #1

Dick tries to talk to Tim about it, and, unlike Bruce, he explicitly states his reasons for giving Damian Robin. He validates Tim, and tells him that they are equals. Even when Tim lashes out, Dick makes it clear that he still wants Tim around, even if it is not as Robin. And, once again unlike Bruce, Dick doesn’t proceed to just abandon Tim when things don’t go his way. He sends Tim’s friends his way and when that doesn’t work, Dick goes to find Tim and try to talk things out in person: 

Red Robin #4

So why doesn’t Tim just tell Dick his theory? That’s because, as much as people apparently want to believe that Tim had the whole thing figured out and it was everyone else’s fault that no one was listening, Tim had no actual evidence whatsoever that Bruce was actually alive. He was kind of in denial about Bruce’s death and all he had was a weak hunch.

Tim rides off without giving any explanations, leaving Dick to deal with all the fallout of Bruce’s “death” by himself. Dick had to abandon everything that he built (Nightwing, his various superhero teams, etc.) in order to take up Bruce’s identity. He had to deal with being Batman, running Wayne Enterprises, and raising Damian (a murderous brat who spent literally all his time insulting and undermining him in those early days), all while managing his own grief. And he had no one but Alfred for support. So maybe he didn’t handle Tim as well as he could have (I don’t really know what he could have done differently but hey if you want to let me know feel free), but I honestly think that under the circumstances he tried his freaking best, which is more than Bruce did for him. And when Tim returns, he immediately expects Dick to put everything on hold to help him, once again without explanation, and what does Dick do?

Red Robin #11

He trusts Tim and puts everything on hold to help Tim out. Even though Tim pretty much left him high and dry when he needed help the most. So yeah, I don’t see where people are coming from when they act like Dick somehow singlehandedly destroyed his relationship with Tim. I don’t understand how Tim could possibly trust Jason (ie the person who very nearly murdered him) more than he trusts Dick (ie the person who mentored and acted as a confidant to him for literal years) in such a short span of time.

In my opinion, Bruce and Dick are not even remotely similar in their actions here. I don’t understand how people who can so readily excuse Bruce for his harsh treatment not be the least bit willing to give Dick some slack when his situation was sooo bad and he tried so hard.