#literally banning myself from them for at least 6 days

[mikeylivesattheend]

When you love something so much you hate it. Like it isn't my fault I played the Batman arkham games for a month straight. What do mean the thought of one more riddler trophy in a vent makes me furious 😭😭

[bloodyinkandquill]

Ban Hammer x Reader being comforted for their break up

sorry for how late i am rn, these ones just haven’t struck me with inspiration, tbf it’s a monday and im sitting on my bed eating an entire sleeve of saltines so… also apologies for not doing rh egobworder one yet i just have literally no ideas, especially because i need to figure out like his character, as far as i knew he was just a skin so😭 not like follower sword or heretic katana that i know have different personality’s and junk, oh and to get me more motivated to do all these requests since i have like 6 rn im probably going to write something self indulgent as a treat for myself lmao

- When Ban Hammer opened his door, he expected to see a lot of things, his close friend a sobbing mess was not one of them, he quickly ushered you in unsure of what to do, he just sorta made small movements before gesturing to the couch in invitation

- You sat down trying to form words but you couldn’t quite string them together and you just went back to crying aggressively into your hands, he sat down next to you and awkwardly pat your back, he was never the best with emotions so he was trying his best to be comforting to you

- After a couple minutes and him grabbing you a glass of water, with a crazy straw, that made you giggle through your tears, you had finally composed yourself enough to form proper sentences, you told him that your partner had suddenly broken up with you, you had absolutely no clue why, you thought you two were so happy, why did they do this? He sneered and said that they’re clearly an idiot, breaking up with you for no reason

- He did his best to comfort you as you sobbed into in shirt, thankful he wasn’t wearing his armor, as he gave you awkward pats on the back and the like, he said things you mostly didn’t hear through your cries and tears, though you did pick up on him saying that they were blind, how could anyone see you and not fall for you, they lost an amazing beautiful demon, you sniffled looking up at him, meeting his four eyes, since he only wore his blindfold in phights you saw them commonly, almost glowing with their red hue

- He realized a bit more what he said and you could see the faintest flush to his cheeks, before he said at least that’s what he thought, you looked at his face, vision still a bit blurry from your tears, and you realized just how attractive he was, you had never looked at your friend in that light, or maybe you always had but never realized it, and before you could think twice you reached up, propping yourself up on your knees grappling his face and kissing him

- All four of Ban Hammer’s eyes widened in shock but after a minute he wrapped his arms around your back before reciprocating the kiss, you had been so occupied with the relationship you were in you never realized the relationship you wanted, your friend who’d been with you for years, you kissed him for what felt like a year before pulling away to catch your breath, meeting his eyes which were a little dazed, you just stared at each other for a moment and went right back to kissing

sorry it’s so short and not that good i was working on it in small parts throughout different times of the day and like i said none of these have been super inspiring to me, my sincerest apologies for that i’ll get them done but might take some time, and my requests are closed till i get through these because there’s so many of them, alright let’s try and get another one done before i go to sleep

[rin-and-jade]

hey I'm from the same system as 🌺, and I wanna add some stuff because unlike her I'm not blind to the abuse.

we are homeschooled so when the verbal abuse happened there wasn't anywhere else to escape to, I remember I used to literally hide behind things when I was younger.

I didn't learn to read until I was 10, and I'm dyslexic and autistic and dyspraxic and dyscalculic. so I absolutely suffered in academics for basically my whole life, my mother used to sit down with me and watch me stare at the work in front of my face and then yell at me because I didn't do it. or I messed up, or any slew of things fuck.

I was undiagnosed for autism for literally most of my life, I only got diagnosed when I was 13-14. so for a long long part of my childhood I was berated, yelled at, given the silent treatment, not comforted when I needed it and other stuff.

this is definitely because of her upbringing, and generational trauma. she's better now, but the damage has been done. and if I ever tried to bring this shit up now she'd just call me a liar, she loves to call me a liar.

after I learned how to read, I basically had to learn how to spell and write myself. I preferred it that way, because every time she try's to teach me stuff it always ended with me crying and her yelling.

oh I didn't even mention all the "talks" she has given me, basically telling me to "shape up, you're not doing anything with your life." when I have no freedoms? the digiverse is my only freedom, has been since I was a kid. I try to talk to her about my interests and she waves me away, though its gotten better. I still am not sure about her claims.

I literally can't go out by myself, I'm 17. I'm literally going to be 18 in a couple months and I've to this day never been on a trip somewhere on my own, I know I'm a bit oblivious at times. but I've always wanted that in my life.

maybe I'll get it now when I go to Tafe in person, and meet people. god I fucking hope.

I went through a lot of medical trauma from being hospitalised as a 6 month old because hot tea spilled on me, to asthma hospitalisations and more.

all under the age of 10 mind you, I've always been the "problem" child. mostly because of all my medical issues, and developmental issues. my addiction to YouTube, and screens in general. is it an addiction when it's literally the only thing that stops me from bursting into tears?

I didn't have friends for most of my life, and the ones I did. I only saw them at most once a week, most of the time it was once or twice a month until they grew tired of me.

I've had nice things, but all I really wanted was someone to listen to me. I used to literally wish everyday for most of my life, its only stopped now because I have AN ACTUAL FRIEND. and I'd kill everyone and then myself for him literally. (I'm referencing a meme)

but I was lonely most of my life, I love my siblings but its just not the same. I couldn't share my thoughts and feelings because they'd just tell mother.

once I had a friend group on this game, Cat game (that's literally what they are called.) and I was happy. a bit stressed because of drama, but it was nice to have someone who listened and cared.

I'm tempted to go back, but I just can't risk it. my family thought they were groomers, those people were more likely to be groomed then be groomers. I'm not dumb, I still feel bad for my abrupt departure.

but at least they know I loved them dearly, if like I mentioned any of my moots. or the fact I talk so outwardly on the internet they'd ban me actually ban me forever. and I can't let go of my one healthy coping mechanism.

I don't think I could ever tell them shit about my mental state, especially after the shit show that was lena trying to get us actual help. I still want to go to therapy and a psychiatrist, but I'm worried I'm just going to be abused verbally and emotionally more.

and right now, it's way less.

if they knew I considered myself trans, or supported nonbinary people or just most of the different gender identities. they'd tell me I'm wrong and they would have seen it, or that nonbinary people are doing it for attention.

why the fuck would I do any of this shit for that? I want your unconditional love, and support for my struggles. not that fake bullshit!

I have problems and I just want to help them, and nothing I do is good enough. I'm this disappointment half the time.

there was this one time. (maybe more) when my little brother was having a meltdown, and screaming. my mother's blood was boiling honestly, and she was yelling at him to "SHUT UP" "STOP CRYING FOR FUCKS SAKE" and such. she threatened to pull over and leave him on the road, a common threat of her's. and when his screams and cries got louder, she pulled over into this parks parking. and told him either he was to "SHUT UP, OR GET OUT." he didn't and he got out of the car, or was taken. either way he was outside of the car, I was crying and telling my mother to "STOP" and let him back in, I was 7-8 when this happened. and he must have been 3-4, and my little brother was crying and crying. and my mother had enough of the insubordination, and started to drive away. I started screaming then to go back for my brother, *I'm not sure which one it was, but it was one of them. and she kept driving, and driving.

I think she circled the block twice before letting my brother back in, but that was traumatic.

this sorta thing was why when I had my first suidal thought it was to open the car door and fall out, because I couldn't TAKE the verbal abuse that happened in the car.

I had depression I think, I had depression for most of my childhood.

but now, I feel happier. not because of anything that's happened in the real life, but the comfort I got from here. the internet.

there's many many more times I could talk about but I'm tired, I'll tell you more later.

but she's not good, I don't know if she's ever realised. but I just cannot be mad.

from me

Pop

That sure was a long story, read it word by word, i definitely relate to the bad treatment and threats i also got from my own mother. Kind of glad you’re still here and had got better, i witnessed a kid being pulled outside the car and even punched.. not lovely.

Anyway, i care to listen in what you have to say next time, i consider myself a great listener if anyone needs to vent too and whatnot,, and come back next time bro.

- j

[ljaylmaoo]

(Yes do more 😭)

I love telling fun facts/ little character development stories about myself hehe

Hmmm where to start…..

One of my earliest memories is when I was like 3-4 years old and I decided to make toast while my mom was cooking quesadillas because it was the first thing I learned how to make and I fell off the chair and my arm fell directly into the frying pan and I burned my whole tiny arm really badly (let’s just say it was no longer just chicken in those quesadillas… my older brother still ate them????)

I was born without knuckles except for my pointer fingers (so that makes my pointer fingers the longest instead of the middle ones like everyone else’s lol)

Oh I have a scar/indent on the centre of my forehead from when I was around 5 and I just learned how to ride a bike with training wheels and I hit a big rock and I went flying forward head first into a sharp pointy rock. It was stuck in my head for a few days and this was also a few days before my kindergarten graduation so in those pictures I have a big red cut in all of them 🤷‍♀️ (and I also decided to cut my own bangs the night before so I literally had two fresh new cuts for that grad 🤣) I’m still banned from ever using scissors again.

When I was younger up until I was like 11 I managed to break every limb in my body at least twice (my left foot 3 times, my right foot 2, my left arm 4 and my right arm 6. I wish I was joking.) along with both my knees, collarbone and tailbone. And it all happened in the most stupidest ways possible 💀

My biggest fears are mascots and piñatas

Before my little brother was diagnosed with adhd, he constantly let his impulsive thoughts win and this one time (maybe around like 7-8 years ago) when he, my mom and I were in a car wash he unbuckled himself and jumped up from his car seat and quickly rolled down my window as the pressure washer thingy was going by and basically drowned me. I haven’t been in an automatic car wash since.

Growing up my older cousin and brother would chase me and my other cousins around my grandparents house in the fields with clown masks on and wouldn’t stop no matter how hard we cried and begged them to stop until we had a panic attack. (I vividly remember hiding under one of the vehicles and seeing them both peek under at me at the same time and laugh maniacally.) this game would often go from the afternoon until night time.

When I was like 4 or 5 and my little brother was just starting to crawl I remember seeing him at the edge of the stairs and I watched him slowly fall while keeping direct eye contact with me and he tumbled down a flight of I think 10ish stairs? He landed on his knees and looked up at me and he started crying and my mom thought I pushed him so I got my ass beat for it. I swear bro knew what he was doing. People till this day still don’t believe that I didn’t push him down the stairs. (I swear on my life I didn’t 😭)

I could do a lot more. 💀

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

[aizenat]

That’s honestly the best mentality to go into this journey with because, and I cannot stress this enough, you will not be successful if you cannot accept your natural hair texture and if you cannot accept the bad hair days. I see so many ppl go natural trying to chase an aesthetic, and when all their attempts fail, go back to relaxers and act like it’s just too hard.

Be prepared for setbacks, bad hair days, and for your hair to not look like others. So long as you go in with the goal to love what you have instead of trying to force your hair to do what it’s not meant to do (which seems to me where you’re at, which is good) then you’ll have a lot of success.

Aside from that, I would say my biggest advice is to really embrace patience with your hair and yourself. Idk if you’re big chopping or if you transitioned and have a lot of hair to work with, but when you start trying to style, give yourself a A LOT of time to do your hair at first. Until you figure out what works and you know how long it’ll take, literally make a day out of your wash days. So never do your hair when you’re short on time or upset/angry.

I’d also suggest starting out with easy/messy styles at first like twist outs. They’re great for just starting out and a good way to spend time with your hair and see what products and styling techniques work for you.

Also, don’t be afraid of using wigs and/or braids as protective styles however if you do, make sure you’re taking care of your hair underneath. I found wigs were great to give me a break from styling my hair when I’m busy or stressed, and just gave me a break when I was tired of all the hair care in general. But do NOT rely on them too much! I don’t glue my wigs so I can take them off when I get home and tend to my hair/scalp. If you get braids, still do a rinse for your scalp and use a braid spray or something to moisturize your hair under the braids so that it doesn’t just break off when you take them out. And don’t keep braids in too long! Really 4-6 weeks (depending on the braids) is ideal.

Also, idk your specific hair texture, but if you’re in the 4b/c range, embrace the shrinkage. Stretching your hair can help with maintenance to a degree, but a twist out/braid out will stretch your hair a bit without having to do too much effort (like blow drying, roller sets, etc). Just accept your hair is going to shrink some and just embrace it instead of fighting it. The more you do that goes against what your hair wants to naturally do, the more likely you are to experience breakage and damage due to the manipulation you’re doing to your hair.

And it’s up to you if you want to apply heat but I wouldn’t suggest it. At least not until you get some experience with your hair and get it to a good place in general. My mindset is if I want a sleek or straighter hair style, that’s what wigs and weaves are for. I don’t try that ish with my hair but some do so you can give it a try. But again, just be mentally prepared for possible setbacks/damage if you do.

Also, I like messy styles because I like a more artsy/alternative/casual style, so this was easier for me, but I really suggest playing with your hair once you get used to it. Even if you damage it and have to cut some inches off, it’ll grow back. When I first went natural, about six-nine months in, I start dying it and I loved it. I’ve been blond, red headed, and even had purple hair! I’ve banned myself from dyes as I address some scalp issues for now, but I want to start dying my hair again in the next couple of years. My mindset is the point of going natural is that my hair isn’t damaged like it was with relaxers so I’m going to dye it and cut it funky and just have fun.

The setbacks and bad hair days ARE going to happen. They’re unavoidable. So I just embrace it and let myself look goofy for a day. It’s not a big deal. I know Black women struggle a LOT with this, but getting over that expectation to look perfect is the best thing a Black woman can do for her mental health and hair journey imo.

Good luck and I hope it’s a fun ride for you!

lol I’m finally going natural girls 🤭😂 any tips? Not for products but for maintenance, hair health, and to restore length!

can’t lie and say that I’m not excited!! I’m so excited that I am turning 25 and going natural. Excited for this new chapter! I want to love every inch of myself and for every physical thing I am insecure about, I want to ask why? And learn to love it 🩷

[ranboo5]

whats 'the clip' and knifetrick?

Augh. Under the cut for shipping discourse and p/dophilia ment (nothing graphic or specific). Gets long bc I discuss my thoughts on DSMP shipping in general. You are setting me up fr anon

Some quick vocab -

intimacy here is used to refer to. Well. Any kind of intimacy between characters, of any sort, as an umbrella term /r, /p, and /qp here are used as shorteners to denote "romantic," "platonic," and "queerplatonic," both as adjectives And as verbs ("to /r" = "to portray romantically") shipping here is used to refer to any focused examination of intimacy between characters

And some clarity that Should follow from the essay next but may not - """anti-antis"""" and RPF writers delete forever

The Clip is from one of if not the? most recent Discord stage(s) Mr Live has done (which I missed when it was live RIP) wherein he issues a hard ban on shipping him ("do not ship me, in any way, with anyone!") which would less influence c!beeduo (which has been portrayed/stated to be romantic AND nonromantic both conflictingly for a while until being confirmed unconfirmed several months ago, that being the last was heard) without its direct invocation if he hadn't also cited for the reason as being underage ("'Cause, one, it's straight up pedophilia") which is! a) immediately applicable to At Least his DSMP character, Partially and b) while not Strictly True (should b obvious that portraying a relationship within the bounds of what it is in canon and in a nonsexual way is not That, and /r-ing c!beeduo etc was possible to do Appropriately again by remaining w/in the bounds of canon) is Clearly Indicative of the fact that baggage-wise it IS associated with people being fucking creeps

This Really complicates things bc like okay the apparent solution is "lol just don't /r it" but it's really like. A Worse issue than that bc like.

Okay the reason shipping in terms of fictional characters is a Different Bar is bc it's an examination of Intimacy and certain lines exist in certain dynamics of intimacy that Isn't Shown (which is the whole Within The Bounds Of Canon thing) which is important in a medium like DSMP because of the smaller gap + more personal relationship b/w character and streamer. Examining intimacy beyond th bounds of the consent that has been established in that regard is Weird at best and Violating And Creepy more often and, As Mentioned In Ranb's Stage, Literally Evil at worst

Which is why writing abt like. QPR or platonically intimate Techno and Philza (characters) is smth that is fine because that's smth that has been shown and repeatedly stated onscreen; it's in the bounds of canon n thus within th bounds of what the streamers've consented 2 be done with their characters. But writing T3chza making out or whatever is fucked up because it's smth that's beyond those consent barriers

And the thing is right

Slapping a /p on T3chza makeout doesn't. Make it less violating

Like what you CALL romantic is not the measure or whether it's past those barriers yk? And if it's indistinguishable, if it's in extrapolative territory that is Past The Bounds, it Does Not Matter how much you /p it EVEN IF IT IS TECHNICALLY PLATONIC y feel? Like at the end of the day placing a moratorium on some/all forms of shipping is placing a moratorium on certain examinings of intimacy

And okay 2 go back to Mr Live and his character. What it implies taken in context w/ older portrayals of c!beeduo and said by invoking smth that both evokes Really fucked up baggage (that does unfortunately exist btw I'm sorry if you didn't know that but People Really Do B Fucked Up Abt Beeduo) AND applies to his character is a revocation of consent to examining deep intimacies:tm: with his character, which is gonna apply regardless of the nature of that intimacy (even if nonromantic)

Like I don't /r c!beeduo myself, do not, never have, but I talk to people who have and have consumed content where they r background /r; I also don't think it matters. Like I don't Actively /r it and I don't Actively Not /r it because imho w/ the intimacy regarding c!beeduo that is plot relevant and character important whether that intimacy is /p /qp or /r doesn't really matter. I don't consider myself Less of a c!beeduo shipper than someone who /rs them because that would be dumb as hell and while none of the content I've made* is Intrinsically or Intentionally /r it certainly can be read tht way as much as it can be read /qp or /p. It's be dumb and hypocritical of me to like, dunk on ppl for /r-ing c!beeduo when I'm also invested in these two and my tonetags r not gonna suddenly Delete the picking apart I've done of the dynamic @ hand

Which Has Been. Within Bounds Of Canon. It's been what's been shown (sometimes to my great distress. There is a reason that the :canon_beeduo: emote looks the way it does) Directly Onscreen and in general keeping with the tone n intensity/directions of what they've Done With The Characters

HOWEVER

As mentioned up there. Revocation of consent

It makes. Full sense 2 me that Mr Live wants to place a moratorium or fullon ban on shipping his characters perhaps where he wouldn't have before because of the Unfortunately Very Extant trends of people being Fucking Weird about shipping his characters AND of using them as a Thinly Veiled Excuse to ship HIM, which. I should not have to explain why shipping real people is fucking abhorrent

THIS creates a problem which is a. Bit of a vacuum in interacting with what is a facet of c!Ranboo's arc, decision making, and character. Like you CAN have c!Ranboo w/o cbeeduo but you Can't Really have his plotline without examining c!beeduo. And as I mentioned earlier: even if your examination of c!beeduo is fully platonic, the significance of it To the plotline means that any examination of it and its relevance to the plotline and characters IS gonna be an examination of intimacy, which. Regardless of it's platonic, Is Still Shipping

Unless some HARD retconning happens it leaves this like. Hole in an aspect of c!Ranboo's arc and decisionmaking and it's very. Uncertain? God. Fucking months ago I was already kind of :huh. Does he know what the fuck he's doing: irt c!beeduo and desperately wishing for things to be cleared up and now it's only That Much Stronger

NOW. KNIFETRICK, FINALLY

Knifetrick (or, as it’s actually listed, Bishop’s Knife Trick) is a fic about "Ran and Jackie from The Pit TFTSMP" in a "canon-typical ambiguously romantic relationship." As you can tell from the scare quotes, especially if you've seen me vague, both of these are, to put it politely, Doubtful. I've read the fic; I will not be sharing my opinions because that would be neither productive nor responsible (I will just say I can't recommend it and leave it at that) but I WILL say the following that Is relevant to the conversation:

Ran's and Jackie's characterizations respectively have very little to do with characterizations from The Pit, and bear a dollar-store-version resemblance to tropes and personality motifs found in ESPECIALLY fanon c!beeduo, especially later in the fic. I would not go so far as to say they are Intentionally Literally Ranboo and Tubbo but they are transparent expies and were clearly written at LEAST unintentionally w/ c!beeduo in mind (esp since. Ran and Jackie barely interacted in The Pit), and for a readerbase that, as far as I can tell, is HUGELY dominated by /r c!beeduo shippers. Like. Sorry. This is off-brand c!beeduo.

The dynamic between the two is pretty unambiguously romantic, also; despite what the fic's white knights claim, romantic tropes and implications/motifs/imagery from at LEAST chapter two, and is very much explicitly romantic by the most recent chapter.

FROM CH1:

"And now, with raised eyebrows and a pursed lip, the newly named General Jackie observes Ran in such a way that makes the enderman’s skin crawl. Ran reminds himself that this kid, as short and harmless as he may look, is trained to kill. [...] Jackie narrows his eyes and tilts his head a little, as if he’s trying to read in between every one of Ran’s imperfect scales."

FROM CH2:

"It makes Ran’s skin itch with discomfort. [...] 'That actually doesn’t explain much of anything at all,' complains Jackie, and he pops a few croutons into his mouth with one hand. 'Tell me what you’re thinking, pretty-boy.'

"Ran feels his face flush, no doubt mildly glowing green.

"Yes, that was the other thing. The unnecessary compliments to his physical appearance.

"They don’t happen very often, and don’t seem to have very much meaning or intention behind them— Jackie often speaks like an unthinking kid— but when they do happen… they’re embarrassing. [...] It’s annoying how the rug is pulled out from under his feet in these moments when he’s 'embarrassed'. Like the conversation see-saw has temporarily shifted weight in the general’s favor."

I am not going to include excerpts from Chapter 6 because it's just the entire chapter.

I WILL SAY, HOWEVER, STEPPING ON THIS SCORPION BEFORE IT STINGS: they are not written in an RPFy manner and I don't think there's any grounds, including Vibes, of accusing Knifetrick of being like. Closet truthing or whatever. Also, while I think there's certainly Some Weirdness ESPECIALLY around the reaction, the romance itself is Not written in any way I'd call weird or problematic pre-clip; it's nothing inappropriate or like Weirdly Fetishy or whatever. Knifetrick is not #problematic or anything and I don't have beef with like the concept of liking it intrinsically; if I thought it was like. Abhorrent I wouldn't be sharing excerpts lmao dhjfnhdsbvdnfjh. Hence: if anyone uses this post or anyth like it to send harassment or bad faith ANYTHING to anyone involved with Knifetrick I will hunt you down in the fucking night even if it WAS #problematic that'd be the LITERAL OPPOSITE of productive and as it stands it's Literally Not. Essentially: Knifetrick is a (questionably-written /mean) fic using Ran and Jackie from The Pit as a vessel for a large chunk of the dynamics and headcanons of fanon /r c!beeduo in particular

And again, I would not call it problematic in any way (aside from the disingenuity of the insistence that it's TOTALLY UNRELATED TO BEEDUO and TOOOTALLY WASN'T INTENDED TO BE ROMANTIC GUYS like own your shit please)... IF it weren't for the advent of The Clip, which is calling in2 question the Entirety of the problem of /r-ing any variant of c!beeduo or any of Ranboo's characters at all

I really do not have an answer for this tbh. I genuinely wanna hear from the streamer on this more specifically because I like,,, I got no clue where 2 go from here? Do I just consider an arc retconned? Was it an issue of speaking abt a troubling subject kneejerk wise and I'm reading too much in2 it?

I just. I dunno

Tl;dr (AT LONG LAST)

- The Clip is a clip of a Discord stage where Ranboo (streamer) loudly explicitly decried shipping in a way that implicitly applies to characters he plays - This would be all well and good but is rendered complicated by the plot relevance of c!beeduo, which does not stop being shipping if it's /p'd due to it still necessarily being an examination of a particular intimacy in a way that is in canon hard to distinguish the /p, /qp, or /r nature of - Bishop's Knife Trick is an AO3 fic centered around using TFTSMP characters as /r c!beeduo expies which is not a bad thing in and of itself unless it also is covered under this moratorium - Things remain unclear until and unless we get clearer word from streamer, but considering Mr Live seems to be allergic to clarifying anything abt c!beeduo this is doubtful

*very little if any of the content I personally have made 4 c!beeduo has been posted publicly, for related reasons. You May have seen it if you're in servers w/ me, depending on Which Ones

[sparklingpax]

Curious question, what was your reaction to watching the Transformers Prime series for the first time? I'm especially curious about how your reaction was to seeing Optimus for the first time in that series. (Those 2 posts about your valentines day art and the TFP series being my favorite was the same person, aka me! I was thinking i could say a word that lets you know it's me and not some other anon. How about: 'TFP FAN'? I'm not allowed to have a tumbler account so that's why.)

HIIII ✨✨✨ Yes, I do believe "tfp fan" is a good name for you, if you like it!! ^w^

Sorry for typos, I'm typing this out on my phone & I'm usually terrible at that

Also omg!! Fellow lurker!!!!! 🥺✨💕 funny story, I actually was also banned from the internet (so of course, social media as well) for like....my whole life until literally only a little more than a year ago was I allowed to go ahead and...have social media accounts....💀💀💀 I mean didn't stop me from sneaking stuff but then there was that time I got caught in 7th grade but wooo that's another story 🥲

And so anyways, it was painful I could never like posts or interact with ppl who had takes I agreed with or ideas I thought were interesting, but it always made me happy when at least my anon asks would be answered by cool blogs I wished I could follow but settled to just watch from the sidelines until I myself was finally allowed to join Tumblr!!! So long story short, I totally feel ya!!! You can drop in any time you want, as can anyone else! Just be prepared for me and the infamous long amounts of time it takes for me to actually, finally respond to ppl 😳😅✨

ANYWAY ok, so to answer your question, the first time I saw TFP was when I was just barely 6 years old, and lemme tell you I loved that series deeply 😳💗💜💕✨ I watched "Deus ex Machina" and instantly felt excited and invested, especially because up until then, I'd never really watched or found anything that excited me fr. I'd seen MLP because my friends did, I played with toys and went to the park, but for the first time, I saw that show and genuinely felt like "woah. That was cool....I want to see more." And bam, from there I became a TFP fan who excitedly chattered about the episode I watched for a whole week to everyone I knew until Friday when the new ep would air and I'd rush my homework to get to it & then the cycle would repeat.....I remember feeling attached to the characters, and feeling as if this was a show with depth and action and it always excited me. I loved the visuals, the music, the atmosphere of it all. A couple things went over my head that I never got until I saw it again in its entirety in 5th grade (fourish years later, when I bought the DVDs) because I was, again, a tiny first grader...but I'll never forget how much I enjoyed that show, how excited I got when the theme played and I watched a new episode....OH and OPTIMUS. I wouldn't have called him Hot™️ when I first saw him because I wouldn't have known to call him that, but I do remember thinking he was cool, noble, powerful, and that I loved just looking at him--which to be fair, I still have that with characters today. There's a long list of faves I have, and I might call them 'cute' or 'hot' but more in the sense that they're just really fun to look at for me, and that matching with their personalities makes me really love them, but not in a romantic sense..... however I make an exception for Optimus because imo, he is and always will be, Hot™️ (y'all I see you with your baseball bats and your 'go to horny jail' but I'm not afraid of you--)

So anyway, concluding my rambling, basically, I loved it a lot and I love it more or less as much today! In spite of the problems it has like any series does, it's still a meaningful show with depth and super cool fight scenes I'll always love especially because of how I loved it when I was a Tiny Child, and for how much of a role it played in my life, getting me through really tough things and being a safe haven I can return to that never fails to make me smile in some way <3 💗💕💜💜💕💙

-Kuni :D

[fatehbaz]

so, about this:

normally i wouldn’t get involved in this kind of confrontation, but i can’t let this go:

These people, who are already sequestered in homeless shelters, have very high and extremely disproportionate rates of epilepsy, schizophrenia, diabetes, amputations, physical immobility, emotional trauma, crippling anxiety. They -- we -- largely have no health insurance; plenty of people with tooth infections rapidly spreading to their brain or days away from causing heart attacks.

The very environment of the shelter kills people. And I’m not exaggerating for dramatic effect. Imagine what the anxiety of the mass concentration environment does to people already experiencing these health conditions. The added insomnia, noise, stress, invasions of physical and emotional space, omnipresent glare of bureaucratic facility staff.

-----

It’s unfair to frame what I said as merely “accusatory”. These are statements of fact. The unsanitary and inhumane conditions of shelters which I described are already a reality. If anything, I was being generous. Constant glares and scowling from authoritarian shelter staff; look at them the wrong way, and you’re sent back out in the cold or arrested. Biting insects. 5 other people sleeping within 6 inches of your personal space. Constant vigilance; can never leave your backpack alone. Weird skin rashes from systemic inflammation and exposure to mold, mildew, and overwhelming scents. You are expected to just idly and casually walk by and carry on “business as usual” as someone is wailing in agony on the floor or having a seizure. You must be awake and back outside at 6:30 AM, including in mid-winter. No peace.

These are torture chambers. And this is what happens in good shelters.

The thing is: The kinds of “mass isolation” facilities and policies that are being discussed in the US would be significantly worse than typical shelters.

At least most “good” shelters tend to have a kitchen and showers. Maybe even a washer and dryer. You can come and go throughout the daylight hours. Your friends can stop by and visit. There might be a few electrical outlets. But the “mass isolation” approaches being discussed would, in many cases, involve separating homeless people potentially exposed to the virus from the “normal” shelter, and sending them instead to an even worse isolation facility, like a warehouse. No showers. No kitchen. No pantry. No calling your friends to have them deliver your favorite book or to pick up some snacks for you.

These people have been living in hell for months or years or decades already. Under state-enforced mass concentration, their lives will again be forfeited.

-----

People in jails and prisons -- their health, their lives, their souls -- are also utterly disregarded in similar ways. Those institutions are also overt torture chambers.

“We have to make sacrifices to protect public health, we have to safeguard our health and bodies.” Well I’m certain we can find a way to weather this crisis without literally sacrificing the health and bodies and lives of the homeless and incarcerated.

Regarding “why don’t I do something about it”: I’m not going to broadcast my organizing/activism activities online. But it’s worth noting that I myself am homeless during this pandemic event. And the point of my post was to “do something about it”:

To remind people with shelter or better social support systems not to abandon the already-vulnerable, the already-marginalized, as a blood sacrifice.

During the week of 12 March 2020, to “deal with market anxiety about coronavirus,” the US federal government took at least 1.5 trillion dollars and flushed it down a toilet in mere hours, when they could’ve housed homeless people and people with the virus in hotel rooms already left empty by decreased tourism and travel bans. Better yet, don’t give more money to those property owners and corporations. We should be thinking outside of the framework that says:

“Well, there are so many empty homes and apartments, and we do need space for people to recover, but we still have to financially compensate landlords, hotels, and corporations if they assist in housing, which limits our ability to house marginalized people.” Say that out loud. See how ridiculous that limitation sounds in the face of global catastrophic social upheaval of a pandemic that will undoubtedly harm already-marginalized communities most. The millions of empty homes in the US should be housing people right now. Give shelter to people.

[purplesurveys]

1167

surveys by emptyliketheocean

Brand of cigarettes you smoke? I don’t smoke cigarettes, or at least I never buy my own packs.

Should you be trusted with a person's life? Idk, that’s for them to decide.

How's your life in general? I lost two relatives from Covid this week alone. So, not very dandy. Still in shock. Waiting for it to all finally crash down so I can grieve and mourn properly. Scared of more losses and hoping there aren’t any more to come.

Have you ever put lipstick on anything besides lips? I don’t wear makeup, but when my friends have put some on me in the past there were a couple of times they dabbed lipsticks on my cheeks.

Have you ever picked a fight you knew you would lose? Metaphorically speaking, yeah. I don’t get into physical fights.

What's something you think is crazy about the world? The concept of centibillionaires and the fact that there are multiple ones who exist.

What do you think about religion? I think the only upside to it is how it has helped save lives for some and how it serves as a guide for others to spread good in the world. Like if your religion has given you purpose and strength, that’s great. But ultimately, I’m not a fan and I most definitely don’t think religion is necessary to be a kind person. In fact, I think it works the opposite...most of the homophobes, misogynists, pro-lifers, and sexists I know are from the Christian faith. Cringe.

What about when religion causes violence? Well I definitely have a bone to pick with this lol. The only reason the Philippines is predominantly Catholic today is precisely that when the Spanish arrived, they used violence to forcingly convert Filipinos - who were then living in peace with their own culture, government, and religion system - to Christianity. And now we’re ‘celebrating’ 500 years of Christianity in the country this year, which was always so off to me because why are we celebrating colonization lol????????????? But anyway, yeah, that is another issue I have with religion. I want nothing to do with it.

What color is one of your hats? I have an off-white summer hat but I have literally never used it in public because it’s huge and it’s 100% going to draw attention.

How do you feel? My shoulders are sore and I’m feeling slightly irritated because of them. I’m also starting to get a bit hungry.

Have you ever gotten in trouble for laughing? A few times.

Something that makes you smile: Free food.

What do you think about surveys with lyrics as the title? Surveys with random lyrics usually end up being the ones with interesting questions, so I actually am more likely to check it out.

Do you have any clothes with small holes in them? Maybe one or two.

Do you think the way you live is really okay? I think I am already quite fortunate with what I have considering what others don’t, so it’s definitely been a while since I have complained about anything during this whole Covid situation, living-situation-wise. Even though we’ve lost a few things, like having to sell one of our cars and with my mom being retrenched, we still get by and have a roof over our heads with working water and electricity and a stocked pantry; and I make enough money to hand a portion of it to my parents twice a month and still treat myself with things I want. There is nothing to bitch about.

Do you know anyone other than a cop who has ever owned a cop car? No.

Have you ever felt fire? No, but electricity, yes. I’ve been shocked before but that was also my own fault lol.

Have you ever seen a person light themselves on fire? Jesus no.

Have you ever used crutches when you didn't need them? Yes. I used to horse around with Katreen’s crutches when she injured her legs in 3rd grade, when she wasn’t using them.

If you had 15 beers you would be: Dead.

Are you as bored as I am? No, I’m good.

Why are you taking this survey? I feel like it.

What would you say if a person asked you why your face was so messed up? “How do you want me to react?” Easiest way to shut a person up and passive aggressively tell them to watch what they say.

What would you do if your first love asked you back out? Be very confused and ask why the sudden decision.

What's your home life like? It’s very routine, due to having to stay at home. I work a 9–6 on weekdays, follow that up with dinner, and use a few hours to scroll through social media until it’s time to sleep. Then on weekends I use the free time to recharge by taking surveys and watch videos of whoever and whatever I’m interested in at the moment. Just waiting for all of this to blow over so I can finally do the things I’m meant to be doing.

Do you have a talent that you don't do anything with? I don’t write a lot for myself these days. I do write frequently for work, which is great - press releases, event scripts, all your PR essentials - but I don’t get stimulated enough since everything is written in the same tone. I really should pick up a notebook and pen soon...

Do you know anyone that is a lesbian? Yes. Not that she’s in my life anymore.

What do you think about your mom? I think she tries her best. But I wish she were more emotionally in touch. And that she starts being politically correct.

What do you think about your dad? He’s worked hard and continues to, and I appreciate all his efforts; and I can’t wait to be able to buy him all the things he wants.

Which parent do you respect the most? Who do you think? Hahahaha.

Is there anything someone could lie to you about that you couldn't forgive? I suppose, like cheating.

--

Who do you love unconditionally? My two best friends.

Pick an element. Oooookay? Zirconium.

Have you ever wasted a great amount of time and felt horrible about it? It always feels that way on weekends these days because there’s only so much that can be done while stuck at home because of Covid. But I do try to justify it by telling myself I already work too hard during weekdays so it’s ok to bum around at home and do nothing, because using the time to recharge is still productive. 

What is something that's been said about you that isn't true? My mom has said a lot of hurtful things directed towards me that I internalized for a very long time, but I’ve since gained the strength to no longer let those words get to me.

Who do you want with you when you're scared? Anyone who can be calm while I’m not.

Know any bands that not many people have heard of? Many of the punk bands I listen to are virtually unknown on this side of the planet.

Do you have any advice for people in general? Don’t be racist.

What's something you like to do in the summer? Complain about the heat.

What's something you like to do in the winter? We don’t get winter here, but I’ve always thought I would love snow if I ever saw it, and that I would probably make a lot of snow angels and play snowball fights.

What do you think about marijuana? I don’t have a strong opinion on it as it’s still a very taboo topic where I’m from and I’ve also been lacking on research. I do know people who use it for recreational purposes and I’ve never been against that.

Do you wish anyone death? Just politicians.

Have you ever felt like you weren't getting anywhere with a person? Yes, it felt that way for a long time. I just was too afraid of confrontation to do anything about it.

What do you feel for the person you first fell in love with? Resentment and a whole lot of nothing.

Where are you? I’m in my bedroom.

Are you waiting for something? Hmm, not necessarily.

Who is someone you just think has a hole in their brain? People who still think Covid is a hoax.

A candy you like? Gummy anything.

Does any part of your body hurt at the moment? My shoulders and neck, hence the neck pillow I’ve since put on while taking this.

Explain how you got the last bruise you had. I honestly have no clue. I currently have a big black circle on my right thigh that just suddenly showed up, and I can’t recall a time I must’ve hit it somewhere.

Are you tired? A little bit because I got up as soon as I woke up, but I wanted to maximize my free time this Sunday before another work week starts. Last Friday would be our last non-working holiday in a while and we’re not getting another one until August. :(

Explain how you got a scar you have. A distant cousin hurled a glass jar towards me when I was 3, during a family reunion. He initially went for my eye because I guess he wanted to blind me, but he missed and ended up hitting my eyebrow instead. My mom has since banned him from talking to me ever since, and I don’t think I’ve ever even seen him since the incident.

Have you ever owned anything illegal? Illegal copies of movies I’ve torrented, sure.

What do you dream about? The most random scenarios. I’ll get the occasional nightmare, but those only happen when I’m going through a period of depression.

Do you ever daydream? Not anymore these days.

How do you feel about vegetarians? I don’t really think anything of them. There are days I’ll particularly feel for them because there aren’t a lot of restaurants with good vegetarian options where I live, though.

A fruit you like: Avocado, in very limited options.

Have you ever seen a person eat a bug? Only bugs that were already prepared a certain way and meant to be eaten; but I’ve never seen a person that just picked up a bug off the ground and went straight to chewing. I imagine I would freak out and gag.

Something you worry about too much: How much is in my bank account.

How do you feel about smoking? I hate how the smell clings to your clothes and all your things when you’ve been smoking or when you’ve been around people who smoke. I also wince when people pose with their cigarettes just to look badass and cool; but as someone who’s since picked up vaping as a habit, my once-intense hatred for smoking and smokers has since changed lol.

If you had to move out of state, where would you go? I would move to a big city. Somewhere noisier and with a lot of lights and foot traffic and general activity.

What is your favorite vampire-related movie? The Twilight Saga hahahahahaha

Is there a person you keep coming back to? My best friends, I guess?

If you're listening to music...Give me a lyric from the song you're listening to. I’m not listening to anything.

[angelcatsiel]

Sorry everyone I’m ranting about my dad

I love my dad because he’s my dad and I can’t help loving him and we have so many interests in common and the same sense of humour and in general he’s a kind person who treats the people he interacts with well but sometimes I really do dislike him too

I hate that he seems to view me on a completely different level to other people. I think because I’m his child, he will forever see me as a child. I hate that I can’t debate things we disagree with because it always ends the same way; I’m young and passionate and angry and haven’t been around as long as him so I don’t understand things like he does. I hate that he views my compassion for immigrants as me just being naive and too nice for my own good, I hate that he has literally told me that he knows what’s best for me better than I do, I hate that he laughs at me when I tell him my chronic pain is bad and tells me that I just need to exercise more even after an actual doctor has told me to rest, I hate that I told him the first time I ever had a seizure and he said ‘no you didn’t, you just went a bit wobbly because you don’t look after yourself enough’. Turns out I was right! It was a seizure! Even now, I don’t think he believes me. I don’t think he will believe me unless I have one right in front of him.

I hate that this has had such an impact on me. This stuff is a big part of the reason I’m so hard on myself, the reason why I push myself to exercise and do housework and get things done even when I’m in agony, the reason why I feel guilty every time I speak to a doctor and have to convince myself that my issues aren’t all in my head. The stuff he says is one of the main reasons why I blame myself for my health issues. When I was in college and my mental health was at its worst, I asked once for a mental health day. Just once. He made me go into college that day, told me that if I took a day off, I was giving up (and that day ended VERY badly, but I won’t go into details since it’s pretty triggering). I hate that every single health issue I have is my own fault in his eyes. I need to walk more, I need to eat more of that and less of this, I need to try harder. And it’s not just me, it’s my brother too. My brother is not physically disabled, he works 5 or even 6 days a week, he works damn hard, he occasionally goes out on days off with friends, and even he’s heard lectures from my dad on his days off that he needs to get out and exercise and stop sitting around on his laptop. At least that made me feel slightly better.

I remember 4 years ago when he found out that I (a grown adult in my twenties) was having casual sex with people. He literally banned me from doing it. He set up a tracker on my phone, he tracked me every time I left the house, everywhere I went. I got a notification every time he tracked me, and it was constant. I was 21 years old. He wrote me a letter about it, about how sweet and innocent I was as a child (obviously! I was A CHILD!). He lectured me about not understanding risks, about how naive I was, how the people I was meeting with didn’t love me (duh, I was meeting them for fun, not relationships). Again, viewing me as a stupid child and not an intelligent adult capable of making my own choices. If I hadn’t met my boyfriend when I did, he actually would have prevented me from having sex, something that is perfectly reasonable for an adult to want to do. To him, I’m just a little girl.

I’m fed up of trying so hard and it never being good enough. I feel like I spend my whole life trying to make my dad proud and impress him, trying to prove myself to him, feeling like I have to prove my disabilities to him or trying to prove my research and why he should at least listen to me when it comes to my political opinions. I shouldn’t have to prove anything to him, but I want to, and I hate it.

[procrastinatingsapphictrash]

1. Do you listen to music while your write?

6. What character is your favourite to write?

8. What type of fic is your favourite? (eg. fluff, angst, ect.)

9. How long does it take you to write a fic?

15. What character or ship will you never write for?

19. Do you prefer to write requests or original ideas?

22. Biggest writing insecurity?

25. What is your writing process?

27. What's a fic you wish you wrote because you love it so much?

Thanks for sending these in! I ended up rambling on in the answers a lot, I hope you don’t mind!

1. When I first started I did but now for the most part I don’t. However I will admit I randomly stop midway through a sentence, put on a song and have a mini dance party and then continue. Kinda embarrassing but it’s really fun.

6. I’m sure this comes as no surprise but Natasha is my favourite. Wanda is close behind and of course I love writing for wandanat as well.

8. That depends on my mood and I would say usually I love fluff but when I have a good angst idea, that is my favourite to write.

9. Usually from a day to a week of when I start it. Every fic takes me at least two hours to write but most of them take around four hours and some even longer. 

15. Excluding anything obvious (pedophilia, incest) the ships I will never write for is any mlm ship. If it’s two men and a reader maybe I’d do it but just mlm I won’t because I’m a girl who’s into girls (not sure about the guys part) so I just don’t think I could write it well and have no interest in trying even if I do like the pairing.

19. That really depends on the request or the idea. I think mostly I like requests because I like writing things that I know at least somebody wants to read and it’s hard to come up with original ideas all the time. However sometimes I find that original ideas are easier to write if I like my idea.

22. Sometimes I feel like my writing is clunky and doesn’t fit together and I’m trying to force it but it doesn’t sound nice. There was one story in particular I hated and didn’t want to post because of that but when I did you guys seemed to like it more than my average fic so I’ve gained new appreciation for it and read it over. My initial opinion still stands but it’s not quite as bad as I first though. My other insecurity is that I tend to repeat words and phrases a lot even when I try not to. And then sometimes I feel like an impostor and like people are following me but not getting what they want.

25. First I either look at the request or think of my idea and figure out how I want to story to end. Then usually I think (aka dream) about how the story happens. This honestly could take half an hour or sometimes I keep an idea in my head for weeks. Then I write it down in this masterdoc I have which has all the ideas and ideas for fics I’ve already written. It’s just bullet points because I do like to give myself some flexibility to change it as I write. After that I start writing (I could start right away or weeks later) and I write my fics start to finish and never jump ahead so there’s not much to tell there. And then I post (which surprisingly takes a long time to format and add my taglist and stuff). My process takes anywhere from a few days to months and I spend a lot of time dreaming about what I’m going to write and not much time writing.

27. Okay so this is way too hard to narrow down so I’m going to choose out of only yours because literally every writer I follow has at least one fic that I love and wish I came up with. Shopping list: cereal and a ban from the supermarket is one of yours I wish I came up with because it’s amazing and I just love it so much I can’t describe exactly why.

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 37

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: idk how i feel about this chapter. but hey i always doubt myself so whats new? its a bit packed maybe? lol thank you if you still read this story ILY! also i REALLY want more requests so send as many as you want!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : read the chapter first, the requests are at the bottom because they contain spoilers!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 37 : His chapter

NIALL

April 11th, 2018

We had decided to fly to Paris as soon as Olivia got her weeks off. The filming was going better than planned and she was allowed to take a few more days than we had expected. I only had one show in Paris and the very next day, I had to be in Germany but I knew she'd prefer to stay in France with her parents for a while. We hadn't discussed when she would join me but I still hoped it wouldn't take too long.

The flight was long and I had brought only the strict minimum, leaving the rest to my crew after asking them to bring everything. I would join them there and I hoped Liv would come with me to my show. I had even kept a few tickets for her parents if they were interested but I had to admit it was making me nervous to see them after so long.

I turned to look at her around the middle of the flight and she probably noticed because she turned her head my way and sent me a small smile. I reached out for her hand and she let me take it, even squeezing my fingers as her head leaned on my shoulder. I knew she was tired and I was surprised she wasn't sleeping by now even if it was a pain in the ass to sleep on a plane.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked in a low tone, the left corner of her lips raising up as her eyes scanned me. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No."

Her lips curled more and her eyebrows raised. "Okay, what's up then?"

"You're pretty." I just replied, half-closing my eyes and sending her a fond smile. "I sort of want you right now."

Her eyes moved around quickly before meeting mine again. "I think people would notice.” She chuckled and I smiled more, moving closer to be able to whisper.

"How about I join you in the bathroom in a few minutes?" I asked before moving slightly away and sending her a small smirk.

My eyes dropped to her lips and she licked them, making me groan low. She was not answering but I couldn't take my eyes off her lips. Just thinking about where they've been and realizing it had been way too long since I had felt them around my cock. Of course, I didn't expect a blowjob on a plane, if only because the bathrooms were always very tiny, but I could definitely fuck her quick and fast.

"Did you ever do that before?" she asked low, taking me out of my daydream. I looked up in her eyes and shook my head, making her raise her eyebrows. "Liar."

I chuckled. "I promise. I never did." I insisted. "But I'd love it if it changed today."

She looked around nervously again and finally nodded. "Okay. You cough and then knock once. I'll unlock the door."

Quickly, she got up and walked past me and I let my eyes follow her until she was out of sight. I waited a few minutes, shaking my leg slightly and when I finally got up too, I walked slowly to the bathroom and coughed before knocking once. I saw the notice on the door changing and quickly walked in, closing the door and locking it. It was hard not to be pressed on each other in the small room but we still had some space between us. She remained motionless, her head tilted and her lips pressed together as she smiled at me. I could see excitement in her eyes and I loved it.

"You know we could actually get banned from this airline if we get caught." she whispered, making me smile more.

"Let's not get caught then." I just pointed out as she nodded.

Her hands slipped under my shirt and I felt her fingers rub on my chest and brush on my nipples before moving back down and reaching my pants. She unzipped them quickly and searched for my dick before taking it out. I thought she'd be stressed and a bit scared and that I'd have to do everything but clearly, she had decided otherwise and I liked it. There was something very hot about her deciding to be more forward when it came to sex. I normally preferred to have control but when she would get horny and almost jump on me, it always made me want her even more.

"I didn't think it would be like that." she murmured, staring in my eyes, as her hand stroked my cock slowly, from the base to the tip.

"What do you mean?" I asked just as low, realizing it was tough to focus on her words instead of her hand, or the way her lips moved when she talked.

"I didn't think we'd always be so horny for each other. It's not like it's new."

My lips curled and I shrugged. "It sort of is." I just replied, bending down to reach her lips with mine. "Don't stop, use both hands."

She smiled against my lips and I felt her other hand push on my pants and boxers a bit before she grabbed my balls. I groaned low against her mouth before both her hands handed on my dick, pressing around it as she jerked me off a bit quicker. I could feel my cock get harder with every stroke and even if I didn't want her to stop, I knew we had to do quick.

"Move those damn sweatpants down, petal." I whispered against her lips again, making her chuckle.

"I know I should have dressed up but honestly, I hate being uncomfortable on a plane." she explained before grabbing my upper lip between hers and sucking on it gently. "At least they're easy to take off?"

I smiled more and chuckled, shaking my head slightly. "Sweatpants look good on you." I admitted. "And yes, they're easy to take off." I just added, pulling her sweatpants down and making her smile more. "Show me your tits."

She shook her head and rolled her eyes before moving her shirt off. I groaned when I realized she was not wearing a bra and my hands reached for her breasts as I ran my thumbs on her nipples, feeling them get hard against my fingers.

"These damn bathrooms aren't made for people like me." she grimaced, leaning against the wall behind her. "They should make them bigger."

"But I love having you close to me." I argued, raising my eyebrows with a small smile before making a quick head movement.

She nibbled on her bottom lip but moved one of her feet on the toilet and quickly, I reached between her legs, groaning when I slipped a finger inside her.

"How are you so wet already?"

"I touched myself while waiting for you." she admitted as my head moved up fast to meet her eyes. 

She smiled and chuckled at my facial expression and I just shook my head before crashing my mouth against hers. I started finger fucking her and rubbing her clit gently but she just squirmed and I just brought my hand to my cock, stroking it with her wetness before moving closer, putting it against her thigh. I brought her other leg back down and she moved a bit again as I pulled back slightly and then pushed myself close to her again. I could feel her thighs press on each side of my dick and her warm pussy wetting the top of it and it was driving me insane. I moved back and forth for about a minute as let her fingers grip my hair and she smiled as her eyes roamed on my face.

"I want to feel you inside me so bad." she whispered, making me smile, too.

I grabbed one of her legs quickly, moving it up, and used my other hand to hold my cock as I pushed it slowly against her walls. Her hands gripped my hair tighter as I slid inside her and I saw her eyes flutter close and her lips part. I remained still for a while as I panted, feeling her throb around my dick and knowing it could literally make me cum in only a few seconds.

"No cunt like yours, I fucking swear." I breathed out with a groan.

I closed my eyes and felt her lips brush against mine before I started fucking her, bringing my thumb to her clit, rubbing it in motion with my thrusts. It took her about two minutes to moan louder against my mouth and I kissed her deeply as she shook against me. I waited until her body relaxed and moved slightly away, sending her a smirk. I grabbed my cock as it slipped out of her and she blinked a few times.

"Move your panties up."

Her eyes got bigger and she licked her lips as I jerked myself, my eyes still looking into hers. Quickly, she grabbed her panties and moved them up but held the top to allow me to see her pussy. I brought my hand to her face and moved a lock of her hair behind her ear as I shook my head slightly.

"Holy-, you turn me on so much."

I let my fingertips brush against her cheek, my movements on my dick faltering, and I felt her hand wrap on half of mine and my cock. She started stroking me harder in motion with my own movements and it took only a few seconds for me to feel an orgasm reach me. It was the way her fingers pressed against mine and the way she bit her bottom lip, looking at me through her eyelashes as if she still wanted me even if she had already came. She let go of me and I looked down, aiming at her panties. My cum fell on her pussy and in her panties as I stared at it. I watched my semen slide down her pussy to fall in her panties and let out a low curse word. That was a fucking nice way to own her.

Her hand reached for my cock and she kept nibbling on her bottom lip as she pressed her fingers around it until the tip to milk me and make sure she didn't miss a drop. The lock of her hair had fallen back in front of her eyes and I desperately wanted to kiss her more.

"Fuck, pet, move your panties up, now."

I didn't have to ask her twice. I could see dark spots on her panties and I knew that was exactly were my cum was. She brought her hand over them and rubbed herself a few times, letting out a whimper. She pressed her lips together to stop herself from being louder and when I saw her move her sweatpants up, I put my cock back in my pants and stared at her for a few seconds.

"I'm getting out first." she whispered and we switched place and she just opened the door and looked around for a second before leaving quickly.

I remained standing there for about a minute, motionless and a bit in shock of what had just happened and when I finally sat back next to her, she cuddled me as best as she could and reached for my hand. She moved her face and kissed my jaw as I squeezed her hand tight.

"That was hot." she whispered as I turned my head to look down at her. "I can't stop thinking about your cum in my panties."

Her words made my body throb and I brought my lips to hers, kissing them gently.

"Welcome to the mile high club." I murmured with a smile. "I'm glad we joined it together."

                                                       ---

April 16th, 2018

Living at her parents' wasn't worse than living at my mom's, although I had to admit that I would rather be alone with her, simply because I knew we didn't have much time left together 24/7. I couldn't deny though that seeing her talking french and laughing with her parents made me smile. I knew she didn't see them much, just like I barely saw mine, and being there with them made her happy, which was pretty much all I cared about.

Before we got there, I was wondering what she'd tell her parents. Now that our friends knew and my mom did too (knowing her, she had probably told my dad and my brother by now), I was unsure if she wanted to tell her parents that we were together or not but she had surprised me by taking my hand in hers and kissing my lips gently from time to time. Of course, they had seen me a few weeks before when she had talked to them on skype and we had interacted, but I was not really sure what she had told them before I got back home and I was pretty sure I remembered her mom telling her something in french. That being said, it was not my place to decide and I just went along with what she said and did. Knowing she was not hiding us to them was a big step though, I believed, and the fact that we were more and more open with the people around us gave me hope that we would be official soon.

I loved the way she moved around their house like she was used to be there even if she barely visited. I loved the way her eyes scanned everywhere she could whenever we'd go outside, whether it was grocery shopping or just to take a walk. I loved the way she'd close her eyes and inhale deeply, as if this city was hers and she had missed it. I know she lived a few years here before she moved to Ireland, but how much could a 6 years old remember a city or even a country?

It took me a few days to think about it and watch her being so free, happy and in love but on the sunny afternoon of april 16th, I told her I wanted to get some pastries and left after borrowing her father's car. I was starting to be used to the town, even if Olivia's parents lived in a suburb (or 'arrondissement'), but I drove until the city to get what I needed. I had checked online and I could have easily ordered it, but I wanted to see it first and make sure everything was perfect.

The jewelry store was big but seemed quite empty. The walls were a pure shade of white and the classical music playing was soft enough to be soothing. I knew what I wanted and it took me half an hour to get everything in order but I literally stared at the ring in silence for half that time. It was a big move, I knew it, and I didn't necessarily wanted to make this official, or a big deal. I just wanted it to be a sign of commitment and love, nothing more. No pressure and no promise, except for the one to love her forever, no matter what. I had hesitated and at first, I had thought a necklace would be more appropriate. A small golden heart or something like that could have made the trick, and I knew it would make her happy, but at the same time, it would have seemed like I didn't really want to throw myself in this relationship. It would seem like I just wanted to test the water first, and honestly, that's not what I had in mind. We had a few random discussions about marriage and every time I mentioned it, she didn't seem scared, and didn't try to change the subject. Perhaps I got the wrong vibe, but at the same time, I felt like I could read her like an open book. I felt like I knew her better now than I did back then, even if we had spent over a year apart.

Yes, it was probably crazy to buy a promise ring for a girl I had broken the heart of over a year ago, and expecting her to just say yes and jump in my arms, but after the pregnancy scare we had had a few days before, I felt like this was the right thing to do. It was crazy how seeing only one bar on the test had made me sad and relieved at the same time. I was not ready for a baby, but I wanted a family with her. I wanted to marry her and give ever everything she ever wanted or would ever want. Perhaps I would have ended up in a jewelry store if she had been pregnant, too, but it would have seemed forced, and I didn't want her to believe that I wanted to marry her just because I didn't have any other choice. In fact, we both had many choices, but it was this one I made, and I was going to stick to it.

I thanked the seller and put the box in the pocket of my vest before leaving. On my way back, I stopped at a cafe to get pasties and coffee and when I heard my name, I felt my heart jump in my chest.

"Niall?"

A british accent didn't go unnoticed and I frowned, looking around myself until I saw a familiar face that I hadn't seen in two years or so.

"Maya?"

I smiled and raised my eyebrows, walking to her and kissing her cheeks. She was stunning and her smile was so big it made mine grow too.

"It's been so long, how have you been?" I asked, pushing my hands in my pockets. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, a photoshoot, but it's my day off." she explained, tilting her head on the side before moving her shoulders up. "What about you?"

"I'm uhm, visiting." I said, a bit uncomfortable and not knowing what I could say or not. I sighed and just shook my head. "I'm with Olivia. We're visiting her parents."

Maya nodded, not losing her smile, and she licked her lips. "Yea I saw you two dated and then broke up. Are you two together again?" I stared at her in silence for a few seconds and she nodded again. "You must really love her, huh?"

This time, I sent her a fond smile and glanced down at the floor before looking up and breathing in. "Yes." I confessed with a nod before Maya took a step closer, putting her hand gently on my upper arm.

"I hope it works, then." she told me sincerely. "And invite me to the wedding!"

I frowned and chuckled, feeling my heartbeats accelerate. The last thing I needed was for that information to leak and I started wondering how the hell she found out when she just shrugged.

"I mean, whenever that happens. You two will get married at some point, right?"

I felt all the stress leave and my body relaxed just as my lips curled again. "Yes, of course." I just let out. "I mean, probably, I guess."

Maya laughed and it made me chuckle too. "Go back to her, I'm sure she misses you already."

I raised my eyebrows and chuckled, knowing she was probably right and after we said goodbye, I ordered, got my food and left. It was not surprising to me that Olivia's face seemed to illuminate when I walked back inside and she ran to me, wrapping her arms around my neck as both my hands were taken by coffees and a box of croissants. She kissed my lips and I closed my eyes, answering the small kiss gently, knowing that her parents were most likely watching us.

After we ate, I wanted to help with the dishes but they wouldn't let me and I joined her father in one of the rooms in the back. He was looking for something in the drawers and I just put my hands in my pockets. I knew he had noticed me, but I was not sure if I should talk, or what I should say. He used to really love me, and I was wondering if it was still the case, or if he disliked me, now.

"You two are back together." her father told me with the biggest accent before I nodded. "Good. You were always my favorite. Don't tell her."

I laughed and shook my head as he glanced at me and sent me an amused smile. "Thank you. I've hurt her though, I'll never forgive myself for that."

"Use that feeling to remember that you can't hurt her ever again." he added, grabbing something in the last drawer and moving back up. "Or I'm gonna have to hate you. Father's duty."

I nodded and smiled. "I promise." my smile fell and I cleared my throat, playing and twisting the fabric inside my pockets. "What would you say if..." I stopped myself and licked my lips. He turned to me and at the point, I had all his attention. "What would you say if I asked her to marry me?"

He stared at me a few seconds and sighed, turning his whole body my way and he took a step closer. He was tall, way taller than me, and his light eyes reminded me of hers, but unlike Olivia, he had severe traits. He had broad shoulders and although he had salt and pepper hair, he didn't look his age. I've always thought he was a funny man, but I knew he was strict, too, and when I was younger, I used to think he was a bit scary, but not anymore. Her mother was very different. She was short with a round face, pretty much like hers, and when I thought about it, they were very look alike. Both her parents were smiling all the time, though, and they were always welcoming, that much I could never forget.

"Is it serious?"

My eyes roamed on his face and I sighed, my hands still in my pockets, before I finally nodded. Instead to answer, he just handed me an envelop and it made me frown.

"This is hers. This is all the letters she wrote to you when you went on tour." he explained as my grip tightened on the paper. "It's hers, and I don't think she ever intended on giving them to you, and I found them in the garbage bin one day and decided to keep them. You should give them back to her. I want to say you should read them but I'm really against invasion of privacy. I didn't read them either."

"Does that mean you would be okay with us getting married?" I asked with a frown, feeling the envelop burning my palm.

"It means that as long as she's happy, then so am I." he just said. "It also means that you shouldn't ask me if I'm okay with it. If she finds out, she'll kill you."

I laughed and nodded. "I can count on you for keeping this secret?"

"Of course, son." he let out, putting his hand on my shoulder and making me chuckle low at the nickname.

"Son-in-law."

It was his turn to laugh and when we heard my name being called from the kitchen, we both looked in that direction and I shrugged, sending him a small smile before going to join Liv. She was staring at her phone and she grimaced, looking up in my eyes.

"I don't know how bad it is but," she shrugged and handed me her phone. "You tell me. You're the famous one."

I chucked but grabbed her phone to read as the title popped up in caps. 'Together again?' With the article, there was a picture of me at the airport and they mentioned my earring before adding a picture of Olivia who was now wearing only one earring, identical to mine. Of course it made sense since she was the one who gave it to me but was this really a proof of anything? At the bottom, there was a picture of us together at the fair and I smiled a bit when I saw she was holding the bear I had won for her and they had used it as an other proof that we could be dating again. This article didn't mean shit but I couldn't say they were wrong. Something was in fact happening between us.

"Do you want me to take off your earring?" I asked, looking up at her.

"No! God no, they can fuck right off with their stupid article!" she quickly let out, making an amused smile appear on my lips. "Does what they wrote bother you?"

"Does it bother you?" I threw the question back at her, raising my eyebrows.

She looked down at her phone and nibbled on her bottom lip for a few seconds before shrugging. "Yes because that's none of their business. But not because people may know we're together."

"We're good, then." I just shrugged, taking a step closer and wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her closer. "They're just running out of things to write about, so they have to write crappy articles like that. The good thing is, that picture of you is very nice."

She grimaced and I laugh. "It's horrible. They always snap those when I look at my worst."

"Lies." I whispered, bending down slightly to kiss her lips. "By the way, I kept a few tickets for my show, for you and your parents. You'll be there, right?"

She shrugged a shoulder and stared in my eyes. "I don't know, won't it just fuel the rumors?"

My eyes roamed on her face and I leaned my forehead against hers before whispering.

"I don't give a fuck."

REQUESTS

(for the first one, i promise theyll talk about it soon!)

[loveisblindfanfictionbka]

Love Is Blind: Chapter Six

Alexis looked between the two of them, “you guys know each other?”

“We used to,” Robyn replied as she set down her instruments, “what are you doing here?”

“I’m getting a puppy!” Anesa piped up from beside him.

Robyn’s eyes narrowed, then widened as the realization hit her. Chris watched the expressions play across her face as she looked at him then over at Anesa, “This is my daughter, An-”

“Anesa,” Robyn finished softly.

Alexis slipped past Chris to leave the room.

“How do you know her name?” Chris asked.

“You told me.”

“When?”

“Well, I guess I should say Christian told me.”

“Christian? Wait, you’re Anna?”

Robyn nodded her head as Chris’s mouth dropped open in disbelief.

“I think we both have some explaining to do.”

“I don’t know. Now things are really starting to make sense. How long have you been in New York?”

“I moved here after you served me divorce papers. You?”

“About 6 months after I got out of the hospital. This is unbelievable.”

“Daddy, do you know her?” Anesa interrupted quietly.

“Yes, umm...Anesa, this is Robyn. She’s-”

“The veterinarian. Would you like to meet your puppy?” Robyn interjected.

“Yes Ma’am.”

“Chris, you can bring her closer. Can you shut the door behind you?”

Chris nodded as he stepped further into the office and closed the door before walking Anesa over to the examination table. As Anesa became more acquainted with the dog, Robyn took Chris aside in the office, “talk about an awkward situation.”

“Yea. I can’t believe you’ve been this close all this time.”

“Me either. I wanna ask how you’ve been but I think I know.”

“I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Me either. Guess fate decided it was time for us to finally sit down and talk.”

“I’ve learned never to tempt her again.”

“What time are you done here?”

“I’m officially banned from here at 5 pm.”

“Are you free to talk later? We could get dinner and just try to make sense of all this.”

“I can call ahead to Mahogany’s and get a private section. I think this initial conversation is gonna need a bit of privacy.”

“Initial conversation?”

“We’ll get into that later. Where will Anesa be?”

“My sister is at my condo by Columbia. I was gonna drive all of us to her house after we got the puppy but I’ll tell her to take Anesa and go ahead without me.”

“You don’t have to change your plans.”

“I want to. This is important.”

Robyn sighed as she stepped away from Chris and went back to the examination, “Well Ms. Anesa, Shep is all ready to go.”

“Is he healthy, Dr. Robyn?”

“Very healthy and I’m sure he’s gonna love being with you. Chris, Alexis will have everything necessary for you to take him home along with some basic instructions for acclimating him to his new environment.”

“Thank you. Mahogany’s at 6?”

“6 is good. Have a good day.”

“You too. Come on, Anesa. Let’s get Shep home.”

 After Chris left the office, Robyn slumped down into her chair and placed her face into her hands.

Chris couldn’t keep his focus as Anesa rambled on and on about her new puppy. He couldn’t imagine his luck or his misfortune, depending on how you look at, of Robyn being the woman he had befriended. His mind started playing back their chats and so much started to connect. Their stories being so similar seemed like a coincidence at the time but now it seemed like a sign. This happened for a reason but he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing.

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wait a minute, you mean to tell me all this time that you were actually talking to Christopher?” Leandra asked in disbelief.

“Yes,” Robyn replied softly.

“Oh my god, that is crazy. Well how is he?”

“He’s good. He looks good. Anesa is gorgeous.”

“I can’t believe he’s adopting a child.”

“I can. That was always our back up plan,” Robyn turned to stare out the window of her apartment. Soon after Chris left the shelter, she left early. Seeing him and discovering that he was her online friend rattled her to the core. She was just as happy as she was angry and was having a hard time reconciling those facts.

“Robs, I think you guys may have a second chance to make things right or to at least set the record straight.

“I know. I just never prepared myself for if I ever saw him again.”

“Look, at least you’re not going into this completely blind this time.”

“That’s true.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Happy. Mad. Sad. Confused. I’m feeling everything at the same time and I don’t know what to do.”

“Maybe you should just take a nap. You got a few hours before you have to be at the restaurant. Maybe you need a refresh.”

“You’re right.”

“Take a nap and I’ll call you at like 5: 30 as a wake up call. That work?”

“It works. Thanks Lele.”

“No problem, Sis. Get some rest and just let things flow.”

  Chris smiled as Robyn walked towards their private booth at the restaurant. He watched her expressions change within milliseconds of each other as she got closer to him. He stood up and helped her with her coat before sitting down in the seat across from her.

“This is a nice place,” he said softly.

“Yea. Their food is really good too,” Robyn replied just as soft.

“So….this is awkward.”

“So awkward.”

They both laughed nervously as a waiter came over to take their orders. Once the waiter left, Robyn leaned the side of her face into her palm as Chris sat back against the booth seat.

“What you thinking?” Robyn asked.

“Honestly? You look amazing.”

“Really? I guess you didn't ruin me too bad.”

“Robs, that was never my intention.”

“I know but what’s the saying? The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

“I deserve that.”

“You deserve a kick in the ass but I’m not mad enough to do it”

“I do agree with that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know how. Literally everything happened at once and I just couldn’t take it.”

“So you push me away?”

“I wanted you to be happy and I knew that wasn’t gonna happen with me, not the way I was going at the time.”

“You didn’t even give me a chance to decide. You took away my options, Chris.”

“Because I knew you’d stay. I knew you’d sacrifice yourself and suffer with me and it wasn’t fair to you.”

“Who are you to decide what’s fair for me? I’ve been in love with you my whole life. Do you think it was fair to just walk away from me?”

“No but it was better than you watching me kill myself.”

“Chris.”

“No. It absolutely killed me having to watch you leave but I knew it was better for you. We’ve known each other since we were children, I know your history. You had enough horrible things happen to you and I didn’t want to be another thing that you’d have to heal from. I thought I was doing the right thing. You were miserable, I know you were.”

“But Chris, it would’ve been different had I known.”

“Different how?”

“I don’t know. You never gave us a chance to find out. I probably would’ve been more lenient with you. I would’ve been ok with giving you space but you walking away from me the way you did, just wasn’t it.”

“It was either that or- never mind, I just felt it was better”

“No, don't dismiss that. What were you going to say?”

“Is either that or you finding me floating in the pool, ok?”

“You tried to drown yourself?”

“Yes and no.”

“Chris, what happened after I left?”

“I took a whole bottle of pills and climbed into the pool. I could feel myself going under but I didn’t stop it and the fact I took a whole bottle of depressants didn’t help either.”

“Why?”

“I had nothing to live for. You were gone and I was tired. I just wanted it to be over.”

“Who found you?”

“I don’t know. I don’t remember anything after climbing into the pool. I woke up in the hospital in restraints and with my sister staring at me from across the room. I don’t even remember how many days I was out.”

“Days? You were out that long?”

“That’s what Jess tells me.”

“Oh my god. Why’d they keep you in the hospital?”

“They kept me in a mental hospital for like 6 months, not a medical hospital.”

“Oh.”

“Yea. They weren’t convinced that I wouldn’t try it again.”

“Were they right?”

“They were.”

“Chris, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I knew you’d come back and I didn’t want you to see me like that. I had given up. I didn’t want you to do the same.”

“And your mother? Why did you never tell me about her?”

“She was never around much. She’d come into town for a week then I wouldn’t hear or see her for years at a time. It was right after our first anniversary when she popped up and she brought my father with her. I had never met this man a day in my life. And she came in acting like we were supposed to be this big happy family and I blew up at her.”

“What caused the spiral?”

“She was terminal.”

“Wow.”

“She died within 6 months and then my dad died from a drug overdose. My mind just kind of fractured from all the stress and emotions and I just didn’t want to feel anymore.”

“And the therapy you told me about? That was true?”

“Yes, please know that no one told me to leave you and my therapist really dug into me once I told them but I really was trying to save you like I said. I loved you. I still love you, that’s why I didn’t reach out once you left. I didn't feel like I deserved to.”

“Yea, well I deserved the truth. I’ve been sitting here all this time feeling guilty because I knew something was up but I couldn’t put my finger on it and you weren’t telling me anything. I didn’t know what to think or how to feel, it just sent me into a mental spiral too.”

“Now I know that. Then I thought you would’ve been happy to be away from me and my moods. I know you were walking on eggshells all the time and I didn’t want you scared of me.”

The waiter delivered their food then left. Robyn sighed, “Chris, I wasn’t scared of you. I was scared for you. I knew no matter what you’d never hurt me but seeing you hurting tore me apart and I didn’t know what to do.”

“I know that now. And I’m sorry. I just wanted you to be able to be your happy self again. What I said was true, I really felt like I had broken you and I didn’t know how to undo it. I felt the best way was for us to go our separate ways.”

“You could’ve told me this.”

“I didn’t know how.”

“Did you ever tell anyone else this?”

“Outside of Jess and my therapist, no. Why?”

“Because like I told Christian, “Robyn said, making air quotes with her hands as she said Christian, “my family still wants us to be together.”

“I didn’t know they didn’t hate me until last year when Mama Fenty called me.”

“How does she have your number?”

“My phone number never changed.”

“Oh.”

"She called me on my birthday, to check on me I guess. I didn’t really know what to say to her.”

“She never told me that.”

“Oh, I mean I don’t think there was much to tell. We barely talked for five minutes.”

“And texting Mel?”

“She wanted to see if my number still worked and just asked me if I was ok. None of my conversations were in depth or happened more than once with your side. I felt like I was overstepping, I guess.”

“Nope. Apparently, I was the only person who was upset at you.”

“And you should be. I fucked up. I can admit that.”

“No, you were fucked up and that makes a total difference. I wanna be mad at you but I can’t sit here and say that I wouldn’t have done the same if I was in your position. You wanted to protect me from you, I get it. I still think you went about it in a fucked up way but I get it.”

“I should’ve known it was you once we started talking more but I was just trying not to think too much into it”

“Same. Lele had suggested maybe I knew who I was talking to but once it said a kid and a professor, I just immediately wrote it off that it couldn’t be someone I knew.”

“That’s understandable.”

“When’d you become a teacher?”

“The year our divorce was final. After I got out of the hospital, my therapist suggested I make a change in my life, it didn’t have to be a big thing but running my architecture firm and stuff just didn't have the same appeal anymore so I sold part of my shares and decided to use my music degree.”

“I forgot you were a double major in undergrad. So you only sold part of your shares?”

“I’m still on the board but I’m more of a silent partner now. I like teaching.”

“That’s great.”

“When’d you go back to being a vet?”

“When our divorce was final. I took the lump sum and bought the building my clinic and shelter is located in. It wasn’t much to look at, at first but after a year of renovations, it flourished.”

“That’s amazing. I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you.”

They ate their food for a few minutes before Chris took a sip of his drink and wiped his mouth, “you know, I was expecting you to curse me out when we got here.”

Robyn chuckled, “I thought I wanted to but then our conversations played back and I realized I wasn’t mad at you anymore. Of course, you didn’t realize you were explaining your thought process to me about why you did things the way you did but I get it now and it stings a bit less.”

“I was actually planning on finding a way to get in contact with you after the last time we chatted.”

“Really?”

“When you told me that maybe I didn’t reach out after my divorce was because I was afraid that she hadn’t moved on and that maybe I should reach out to my ex, it really made me think if I had really ruined something that could’ve been fixed.”

“You did.”

Chris chuckled, “I see that now. I was so wrapped up in protecting you that I never considered you didn’t want to be protected. That you weren’t this fragile individual who couldn’t handle it. I never saw it from your side and I do apologize for that.”

“I accept your apology.”

“Thank you.”

Chris smiled as Robyn started to fiddle with her fork, “you uncomfortable?”

“No. Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Nothing in particular.”

“So...what about not in particular?”

Robyn looked up and Chris chuckled, “still got that sense of humor.”

“It helps. You can talk to me, you know. I’m still the same guy from behind the phone.”

“I know but now that I know who you are, it changes things.”

“Does it have to?”

“Of course. Not only do we know each other, you’re my ex-husband. That’s a huge adjustment for me.”

“I can see that but I would love for us to continue building as friends. This still doesn’t have to go anywhere, Robyn. No pressure.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You have someone to go home to.”

“I love my daughter but that is totally not the same and you know it.”

“I guess.”

“You live alone?”

“Yup.”

“How far from here?”

“A few blocks.”

“Nice. Does anybody know you came to meet me?’

“Lele knows and she’s probably told Mel by now but that’s it. You?”

“Nobody.”

“Why?”

“That way if it went bad, I wouldn’t have to explain it.”

“Ah. Understandable.”

“Do you have somewhere to go after this?”

“No. Why?”

“Wanna walk Central Park with me? I’ll drive.”

“Umm...sure. Why not?”

“Cool.”

[demonkidpliz]

Things I learned while re-watching Star Plus Mahabharata (Part 11/many):

1) Kunti be like I fucked up so bad with Draupadi, I’m now banning myself from giving any advice.

2) Yay! Krishna and Kunti are meeting. My two favourite statesmen.

3) Krishna talking about parenthood with Kunti because he has so much experience being father of the universe.

4) Krishna passing through the sun and his crown glinting like the luminous Buddha 😍

5 Who’s benefit does Shakuni do all these theatrics for? Both his sister and brother-in-law are blind.

6) Arjun and Krishna are 😍

7) Kakashri Vidur is here! He does not look happy about all the polyandry.

8) Shakuni when Bhishma walks in to stop the coronation, so close!

9) Bhishma introducing himself as Shantanu’s son and calling Dhritarashtra, son.

10) Karna is such an upstart. He thinks he can challenge Bhishma?

11) Duryodhan’s hair is so damn fine.

12) Bhishma is like Ghatotkatch can’t be a Kuru but he can be my great grandson. Wtf.

13) Bhishma is like first you marry a rakshasi, then you have a half rakshas baby. Now you’re telling me all five of you have married this princess? Adharm!

14) I feel so bad for Bhishma. He loves this family so much. And it’s not even his family, technically.

15) I love Arjun so much. He always puts the women in his life front and centre. Even when everyone else is busy ignoring them.

16) Bhishma is like oh no the adharmi girl has come to talk to me.

17) Draupadi is here passing some Mjolnir test.

18) Yudhisthira making some very good points in favour of Draupadi. Where was this keen insight when she was being dragged to the court by her hair to be stripped?

19) Arjun is going to do something stupid. My spidey senses are tingling.

20) Ah Arjun finally did the stupid thing. He drew weapons in court.

21) Karan is undergoing some chemical transformation wtf. Kunti be like 👀

22) At least OG granddaddy is back on the Pandava’s side.

23) Bhishma is now rightfully pissed at Vidur for suggesting they split up their kingdom. Shakuni did not see this coming.

24) Duryodhana says this is his rashtra and he will not share it with his cousins. Apart from the fact that he sounds like a petulant child, the man’s got a point.

25) Dhritarashtra has many faults but being an indecisive little bitch tops that list.

26) Wtf why are these men even allowing themselves to be tied up and carted off like common criminals.

27) This scene is so sad. Bhim loves Panchali the most, who loves Arjun the most, who will eventually go on to love Subhadra the most.

28) Bhishma is so sexy when he’s mad. Real (grand)daddy vibes.

29) Shakuni playing the long game in order to maximise the Kurus’ sufferings.

30) Dhritarashtra playing the blind card one more time. In Starbharat, Dhritarashtra is not a good person, he is not attached to Vidur and his uncle. In most other stories he is. Here he’s smarming up to Bhishma who is stupid enough not to see through it. Or is he?

31) Draupadi is so smart. Kunti chose a good successor. Seriously with an evil uncle like Dhritarashtra, and a useless uncle like Vidur and no father, the Pandavas would have died out of it weren’t for Kunti, and later Draupadi.

32) I see. Bhishma bartered away his freedom to Dhritarashtra so that he would divide the kingdom and give one half to the Pandavas.

33) I’m so glad they showed made Arjun wearing white canon in this show. Sometimes I love Starbharat so fucking much. To be fair, I realised that even BR Chopra Mahabharat made Arjun wear white. But they took away his real name, something I can never forgive.

34) Dhritarashtra gave Yudhisthira 1 lakh cows. Score.

35) Dhritarashtra keeping Kunti captive as insurance is some A+ politicking. Shakuni is like, I’ve taught you well, Jijaji.

36) “Ek rajya de kar, Tatshri ne bohut kuch cheen liya.” Arjun. My boy. My man.

37) Bhishma: one day your city will be the capital of all of Aryavarta 😭😭 He was right!

38) Shakuni is suggesting they cuckold Yudhisthira but with a capital city?

39) Finally the Gandiva has come out. About time, Arjun. Wait, this is not the Gandiva. Nevermind.

40) Just when I’m about to lose hope, Yudhisthira comes out and shows he has brains.

41) Arjun, it’s time to meet your bio dad.

42) Takshak is also a dramatic little bitch.

43) Indra. Is. So. Extra. What is with all this lightning? Now I understand Arjun a little better.  

44) Fairly certain it was Arjun AND Krishna that burnt down Khandavprastha together, thereby starting the massive deforestation process in India. But Starbharat has a way of excluding Krishna from key moments in the Pandava’s life. But not Draupadi’s.

45) Daddy is here!

46) And Arjun is so happy to see him for the first time!

47) But daddy is calling him Pandav putra :/

48) Indra: you are a boy! Arjun: I am your boy! 😍

49) Seriously though, why is Arjun such a suck up.

50) Indra (and also the rest of the world): Arjun! Stop trying to act cute!

51) The gods in heaven munching popcorn as they watch the Olympic Games between Indra and his son.

52) Oh my god the Sudarshan Chakra is here!

53) Indra is like I have PTSD from this Chakra and the person who wields it.

54) Arjun can barely contain his glee now that his bff is back.

55) Okay, I was wrong. Krishna is here.

56) Indra is like dis bitch.

57) Erm, did Arjun consult the other five before naming the capital Indraprastha?

58) Gandiva is also here!

59) Vrushali is trying to go back to Indraprastha like the girl who went out for a smoke and Karna is now the bouncer of the nightclub who won’t let her back in.

60) Kunti is here. What a boss ass bitch. Now Hastinapur will get to experience all her badassery.

61) Kunti calling Karna out on his envy of a royal crown. This is the shit I live for. Lalsa =\= kartavya.

62) Dushasan is like Kunti will run Hastinapur the way her sons order her to. Like, bro, it’s the way around.

63) Karna’s obsession with Arjun is a little...unsettling.

64) Of course with his back to the wall, Duryodhana has to play the caste card.

65) Sometimes Duryodhana and Dushasan do something so horror-movie horrifying that even Shakuni flinches and stops to take a breath. Think about Jesus.

66) Does Karna on some level know Kunti is his bio mom or does he just like to act all extra around her?

67) Kunti telling Karna that her sons have to establish themselves as independent before she can visit them. Yas, queen! She’s literally the embodiment of every helicopter Asian mom that hauled their mediocre son’s ass to greatness.

68) Oh dear, Bhim is pissed. Wait, why is Krishna STILL HERE?

69) “Spasht kahiye, Madhav.” Oh Arjun, my sweet, sweet, summer child. This is the first in a lifetime of Krishna speaking to you in riddles. My suggestion is you get on board, otherwise he’ll have to write a whole book to explain to you what is going on.

70) “Main spasht kaise keh sakta hoon, Parth?” What did I JUST SAY.

71) Is Karna…flirting?

72) Oh no, four junior Pandavas have reached Hastinapura. Hold up, Krishna is here too? Seriously, what is his issue? This is not even his business! Also, why is he always sitting in a chariot. Does he not know how to ride a horse?

73) If I had a penny for every time Karna says, “dhanush uthao, Arjun,” I would be as rich as the Kurus.

74) I am so glad Krishna has a resting bitch face.

75) Glad to see that Arjun and Krishna are now in the communicating with only glances, no words, point in their relationship.

76) Every time Krishna sees a single woman, his little matchmaker heart starts fluttering, I swear to God.

77) Of course, he knows Vrushali’s name even though no one ever mentioned it.

78) Krishna is here to outfeminist Arjun and I love it.

79) Why was the Gandiva in Draupadi’s room to begin with? This is what happens when you don’t pack properly.

80) I see Yudhishthira has already started with his chausar ways.

81) Now Draupadi is extra sad because her fav has to be in exile.

82) I mean. I feel like. Yudhisthira could have suggested once that Arjun not go for exile. But no, he is going to be all Ram Chandra about this.

83) Krishna is like, after all this, you have to…*check notes*…marry my sister.

[allie1804-fan]

Please Assist Me (Chapter 18)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8,  Chapter 9, Ch6apter 10 , Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15 , Chapter 16, Chapter 17

Warnings: Explicit Content

He Said

At last in January of 2021, the schools opened and we felt like there was more every day normal going on.  There were a few more restaurants open with outdoor service too so Sophia and I had the occasional lunch out together when he had free time.  I was training hard though so I didn’t have much free time which meant we tended to need to stick to Hollywood rather than driving out to the coast off the beaten track and that was our first mistake. Sophia had been my assistant  for almost 2 years now so it  wasn’t odd for us to be seen together but as there was almost never any other women seen with me,  Cheryl alerted me that pictures started appearing in gossip rags, putting 2 and 2 together based on their (correct!) reading of intimate gazes and body language.

She Said

In the new year, a few photos started to come out of me with Keanu online and in gossip rags. The publicity wasn’t hugely invasive and I wasn’t too bothered by it - my family and friends knew the truth so this only really attracted random contact on social media from acquaintances being nosy rather than any real invasion at first.

My first direct experience that the attention was getting invasive came one day at the school pick up. I had noticed a man hovering at a distance from the gates who I was pretty sure wasn’t a parent. My attention was torn away when my kids came out but as I turned to take them to the car, I saw a teacher cautiously approach him and after a brief exchange he turned on his heal and left. That’s when I spotted the camera slung over his shoulder. A couple of days later, pictures of me and the kids were published on-line on a gossip site.  The kids’ images were a little blurry but still, I was furious.

 He Said

“Fuck!”

I’d just clicked on my phone on a link Sophia had sent to me  for a photo news site showing pictures of her and the kids at their school gate. Some low life pap had tracked them down and deemed them newsworthy because of her link to me that had been emerging more and more frequently of late.

I forwarded it to Cheryl and asked her to arrange an urgent  call with her and my lawyer to work out an action plan. Then I called Sophia, nervous that I might be in for a tirade of Spanish insults.

“Hun, you OK?”

“No, I’m not OK. Que pendejo insoportable!”

Here we go, I thought!

“who me?!”

“No, no, the photographer, this isn’t your fault!”

“kind of is though isn’t it?”

“No, I won’t let you take the blame – but we have to stop them. The kids need to be kept out of this right?”

“Yeah, I’m waiting to hear back from Cheryl. I asked her to arrange a call with the lawyers. I’ll let you know when they can set it up OK?  And I’m sorry, even if you say it isn’t my fault, it wouldn’t be happening if we weren’t in a relationship.”

She sighed.

“We’ll figure it out, OK, I just, I need to keep them safe”

“I know, I know sweetheart”

We managed to issue a cease and desist order on that particular photographer to not take further photographs of the children and put out a general statement asking the press to respect their privacy  but that did seem to have the effect of making them more thirsty for pictures of Sophia and I – we were still game.  As pictures circulated of us eating out or on bike rides, this apparently spawned a trend of what I understand are called “Trolls” seeking out Sophia on social media to send her hateful messages to ‘leave me alone’ and to stop ‘trying to wheedle her way into my life’  and ‘get her grubby Latino hands on my money’. And, she said, if they didn’t do it directly, there would be comments underneath her photo on fan sites with people expressing their disgust at my choice of romantic partner.  On top of that, there was a lot of denial   - people saying that Sophia was and could only ever be my PA – just like Janey they said. Good grief the world really had gone to hell - why did who I was dating even matter?

Apparently there were many people being kind and saying it was nice that I’d found love and that she was beautiful, might give me the babies I’d missed out on etc etc but I could see the comments of the trolls weighed on her mind and lodged there far more than anything positive. Eventually I said she should really just follow me into the social media free wilderness. She could keep an active messenger service for group chats with friends and use a cloud service to share photos of the kids with our parents but for her sanity, she needed to drop Facebook, Instagram and Twitter before she went insane!

 She Said

I knew I shouldn’t get drawn into looking at what Keanu’s fan base were saying online but the curiosity was hard to control. I actually only started getting drawn in after the trolls started tracking my down and sending me abusive DMs. That made me want to know if there were any positive voices or if these nasty people basically spoke for the whole of his fandom. I found myself wasting so much time going down rabbit holes trying to find out who these people were but there was no way to do that really.

 When my general tetchiness finally got too much and Keanu said I should join him in the 1990s and get off social media, I knew he was right but at the same time it was infuriating as I had got so used to using it for sharing news, family photos, jokes etc as well as using all the messenger tools to connect with my friends. After all the isolation of 2020, this new isolation felt like a kick in the teeth but I felt so childish to think that way and didn’t dare say anything to Keanu. Having never been on social media, he just wouldn’t get it! After about a week though, I had to admit I felt better and admitted that his way was probably the sane option – after weeks of anxiety,  I finally felt free from the worry of silly people  out there who didn’t know us personally having an opinion about whether we ‘should’ be dating.

Happily, we  also had a trip to New York to look forward to - Keanu would be starting filming on John Wick 4 and we were heading there as a family with around a week free to enjoy the city together before he would start on set.

The kids were beyond excited to be flying, not ever having done so before. They each had a little pull-along case and we booked first class so we would have as little time as possible milling around in the public spaces at the airport. I was sure there’d be paps about - we couldn’t ban them from taking our photo altogether even though we’d asked for their privacy to be respected so I was desperate to minimise their chances.

When we got to LAX, it was literally minutes after we’d got into the building when a fan approached asking for a photo. Keanu started to try and explain that he was on his down time with his family and would they mind if he didn’t take one today but he hated the crestfallen look on their face and he quickly suggested that we split up and meet up in the lounge. I rummaged through my bag to get his ticket out and handed it to him with a pointed look at the woman before heading off to check in with the kids, not caring that my silent displeasure might make it online somewhere to be used as evidence of what a bitch I was!

We went on through to departures and waited a good half hour before he showed up.

“Hey Keanu why did you take so long” Eva whined.

He chuckled.

“Sorry honey, but I guess it’s because ‘I’m Duke Caboom, Canada’s greatest stuntman’ he boomed, tickling her sides “and sometimes that means people want to say hi and take a photo so it took a while to catch you up.

“Oh OK” she said matter of factly not at all phased by that idea. I guess she knew how excited Julie and Miranda’s kids had been when they zoomed with him when he was in Berlin so it made sense to her even though Toy Story 4 was the only thing she’d ever seen with him in so she had no idea just how truly famous he was!

“You’re too good to them” I said, still a bit put out that we’d already been separated for a while right at the beginning of our trip.

“Yeah, but it never ends well if I’m an ass…. I mean not nice and you’ve got to remember that I’m usually ‘so high’ on a screen and seeing me in real life is exciting …. to them at least” he said cocking an eyebrow at me as if to say that I no longer saw him as special.

“You’re exciting to me too silly!” I said, relenting a bit from my sulk.

He squeezed my hand.

“Don’t worry, I’ll try to give off some ‘stay away’ vibes in New York so we can all hang out like real people.

“I know, I’m being a bitch, I just wanted this to be, you know, normal”

When we arrived in New York, we had a car waiting so were quickly away from the airport and managed to pass through it without being bothered. On the journey, the kids were pressing their faces against the car windows to see the famous sky-scrapers and there was much anticipation of getting to his apartment to see how their bedrooms looked. We’d arranged to have them  decorated and bought new duvets and drapes which Keanu’s maid service had taken care of putting up for them. We got take out pizza for the first night and once again I felt safe and cocooned from the outside world of fans and paparazzi.

He Said

It was strange that Sophia and I had been together for not much short of a year before the public interest in me,  and its impact on living our lives, really became a pain in the ass and the source of some conflict  between us. I had to remind myself that I’d been living this way for about 20 years and had learned to just allow a little extra time in my day for stopping for a photo. It only affected me when I was on my own so I had to learn to see if from her point of view  - it was a shock to her system basically. She’d been my PA for 2 years but we had rarely needed to conduct our business in the public eye so she hadn’t even experienced the attention when we weren’t dating – it was all happening in the context of her being my significant other and with the backdrop of the online trolls and the need to protect her kids.

I guess it would have happened much sooner if I hadn’t been away filming for almost 5 months shortly after we started dating so we’d had an extended time of being together but with no-one outside of friends and family knowing. I tried to tell her we should be grateful all this hadn’t started sooner. I’m not sure that was the right thing to say!

My celebrity did have some advantages though and in New York I’d managed to arrange a private tour of the  Empire State Building  and rink side seats at a Rangers game. Those earned me points but we weren’t so lucky in Central Park. My apartment isn’t far from there so we headed out for a walk one afternoon, ending up in in the Conservatory Garden figuring that this would be  a nice place to be by some water but not where most people would be like Bethesda or the model boat pond.

We’d bought some sandwiches on our way (my time to enjoy the pastrami, pickle and Russian salad I so love)  and settled on a bench to chill and rest the kids’ legs when I saw a guy across the other side of the pond raising his camera. It was clearly a Pap with a long lens. I’m normally not a hot head but it was such an intrusion to our pleasant afternoon that I handed Sophia my sandwich and marched up to him.

I was striding fast, not caring much that my stance was clearly threatening and some people idling by the pond scuttled out of my way. The Pap, surprisingly stood his ground until I reached him, squaring up to him.

“Just what in the hell do you think you’re doing? We’re just having some private time as a family and you come along determined to ruin it!”

I was yelling and drawing the attention of others by the pond but I didn’t care.

“hey man, you’re fair game” he responded brazenly.

“Yeah that’s right, I, me, I’m fair game, me not them ,now get the hell out of here”

He was a short weasel of a guy and I was towering above him. He soon thought better of trying to take a picture and scurried away.  A woman a few feet away spontaneously clapped!

“Good for you Keanu” she said.

I blushed, coming down suddenly from the adrenaline of the confrontation. It has been a long time since I’d even spoken to a Pap. I usually just ignored them, occasionally putting my hand in front of my face to ruin the shot. It generally wasn’t worth antagonising them but this dude had pushed it too far.

I thanked her and returned to the bench. Sophia handed me back my sandwich while the kids eagerly asked why I’d been shouting at the man.  I explained as best I could and I think they were grateful that I just wanted their mom and them to enjoy their time without strangers photographing them.

A couple of days later, Cheryl let me know that the guy made a claim on-line that I’d assaulted him – no actual legal claim was made, I guess because he knew it was bullshit. That was quickly proven when people quickly came forward that they had witnessed it and no such thing had happened. I wondered if the lady clapping was one of them.

  She Said

After the Central Park incident, I was so proud of how Keanu had stood up to the paparazzo but we still made a decision to do most of the tourist things without him after that. I couldn’t see us being in Time Square, The Lego Store or the M&M store with him alongside us comfortably. And that was strange and a little sad for me to be back to the single parent feeling, having experienced some very cherished family days.

Our time to go home was fast approaching and I was keen to get one day just for the two of us. Luckily I have a cousin in New York who wanted to spend time with the kids and they offered to take  them on the boat trip to the Statue of Liberty for the day. We made the kids breakfast and handed them over to my cousin with backpacks, ready for their adventure.

We just had coffee ourselves as we were planning on a brunch out for ourselves later after some us time between the sheets!

The minute the door was shut, Keanu was pulling me by the hand back to bed.

We quickly shed our pjs, climbed under the covers and started to kiss

Keanu soon reached down and started to gently tease my folds. I moaned into his mouth thrusting myself against his fingers.

A thought came to me and I pulled back and asked

“Can we um, try something today ?”

“Mmmm - what?”

“Well you know your movie, Siberia? “

He nodded

“Well, I watched it while you were away and, um that thing with your thumb ....”

“Oh you want that do you?” - a wicked grin spread across his face

“Well we can try that lots of ways ….. so, we can try that from behind. Get on all fours for me”

I obliged and I felt him slip his stiff cock into me, my folds parting  with a pop. He was moving very slowly, then after a few thrusts as I was moaning softly, I felt his wet fingers reach around to gently tease my clit. He did it just enough to make me  moan louder but not enough to make me cum. Then he pulled out leaving me bereft

“What?” I cried out

Then he rolled over on his back and pulled me  onto him.

“And then there’s lady on top”

I happily sank down on his cock and started to ride him. I was groaning but at the same time I could hear my voice quavering as I neared orgasm once more. He licked his thumb, this time, re-enacting the Siberia moment making me throw my head back in pleasure. I was about to lift off, my voice  raised in pitch but again he stopped me before I could, holding my hips to stop my movement.

The he flipped me over onto my back and straddled me, making me wait a few moments as he played with my breasts and smoothed his hands down my sides .

“And finally we can try man on top”

“Will you do that thing ?” I asked

“What the thumb ?”

“No, well yes, but first the thing where you lift me onto you”

“Oh like our first time?”

I nodded, glad he remembered.

He obliged lifting me onto him,  pulling me up,  ensheathing him  slowly so I could feel every vein of his rigid cock and he could feel every ridge of my tunnel.

I was wailing by now each time he pulled me up then released me – I could feel his cock getting even harder when he asked simply

“Ready?”

I just whimpered and nodded my agreement.

 He Said

I was so close to coming, I needed to really focus to give her everything she deserved.

I manoeuvred her fully onto her back and encouraged her to lift her legs up over my shoulders.

This allowed me maximum access to thrust in all the way to her cervix and pump in and out.

I could already feel the beginnings of her orgasm, her pussy pulsating around me. It was as if she was a beautiful flower, attracting me with her petals then sucking me in, holding me there in a vice like grip to take what she needed from me. It was primal and all encompassing

As I felt the ripples get more intense, I managed to balance on my left hand and free my right hand, lick my thumb and circle it over her clit.

That was it, it was all over for both of us. She clamped around me, her legs quivering and I shot my hot load inside shouting out as she screamed “yes, yes oh god, yes”

My thrusts gradually slowed, I was still moaning and fighting to catch my breath. I eased her legs down and lay on her just holding my weight off her by resting on my elbows. I gave her a sloppy kiss before easing off her onto my back. I still couldn’t speak. and just squeezed her hand. Tears leaked out of my eyes and I gulped, looking across, I found her in a similar emotional state.

“Wow that was - god I don’t think I’ve ever, ever come so hard”

“Me neither - love you so much Mr Reeves”

“Why do you always call me that after really great sex?”

“Dunno” she chuckled “maybe to give you the respect you deserve for making love to me so, so ….”

“What?”

“So masterfully, so beautifully”

“Mmmmmmm”

“Let’s have a snooze before brunch yeah?”

“Mmmm”

I think she was almost asleep already as she turned away and I spooned behind her, holding her warm breast in the palm of my hand.

@fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithk’eanu @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @keanureevesisbae @penwieldingdreamer @witty-wallflower @paperplanesandwallflowers @bitchyslut99 @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @fanficsrusz @keanuficfiles @bitchyslut99

[crystu-cii]

OF COURSE!!!! I'd say you're hella close to it!!! Definitely closer than I am XDD 💖💞💝💕💝❤️💕💕❤️ A G R EED /hj XDD

Yeah ;w; oohh that sounds super interesting!! I can understand not pursuing a story tho, stories are d i f f icult-- XD fun, but difficult, and you need an attention span for them! (Why do you think I only write one page stories??)

OMS yessss that's so accurate tho-- like I haven't changed much if I'm being honest (I spend a LOT of time inside.. XD) awww-- I can understand that- in japan we didn't have a backyard, so I stopped going outside much at all-- occasionally I biked to convenience stores or walked to vending machines, that was cool, but no backyard :/ having no backyard sUCks, like where am I supposed to scream into the void?? INSIDE?? /j

OMS-- CRYS XDD what a Mood™ tho- "oh I'm gonna continue this thing!!" *does something else entirely*

XDD It was done Against My Will™ (get Against My Will on the album I Haven't Awoken Well Rested Since I Was A Child by the band The Bags Under My Eyes Aren't Makeup! XD) MOOD-- I spent the quarantine summer doing nothing but staying up until the sun rose and sleeping until it was at its peak- where did the time goooo

I AGREE HOW DARE HE- LIKE EXCUSE?? YOU TINY HEATHEN??? anyways now I'm trying to go back to squirting him with a squirt bottle to startle him(even tho he's a fan of water, the harsh spray startles him) but anyways thank you crysss I'm never getting a cat in my life now bc of this rude child (dogs are superior anyways /hj)

(and now time to reply to the OTHER ask cause I'm efficient and not going to send two separate asks to respond to things that can be responded to at the same time.. ....why did I even ramble about that wtf henry(huh I never refer to myself by name that felt weird))

Okay!! No worries dude, you can always take your time with replies, I just don't trust tumblr XD 💞❤️💕💝💝💖💕❤️💖 of course!!! Thank you!!! 💖💕💕💖💞💕

Oooh!!! That sounds super fun!!! Man I miss hanging out with my friends-- but my closest friend(lives in my neighborhood) has a parent who works in other people's houses, so high risk, and the rest live several hours away :)) but anyways yeah that sounds hella!!!! I love that y'all were just like "okay well. we're gonna hang out anyways." XDD

Aww-- I'm glad you are!! My brother and his bf were supposed to come but I think we have to postpone that cause someone in his workplace tested positive for covid :( YESS FOODDDD-- oooh cheesecake?? I've never heard of having it on Thanksgiving!! Usually we have pumpkin, cherry, apple, and pecan pies!! (We're having pumpkin and cherry ones this yeah!! Two pumpkin pies, a cherry pie, and a cherry cobbler--) I... Have never heard of pineapple pie in my life! Sounds like it would make pineapple-on-pizza haters burst into tears tho--

YOURE WHAT-- CRYS YOU HEATHEN IT IS NOVEMBER!!!!! /j I can't stand Christmas music, being a choir student made me not be a huge fan of it-- too much Christmas music.. ugh. (Straight no chaser is tolerable at least. And Pentatonix. And covers by artists I like. But if I have to hear Jingle Bells ONE MORE TIME--) YESSS BESTOW UPON ME THOU'S PRESENCE AND PRESENTS... Ooh nice!! Pfft XDD Yess- I have multiple on my wishlist-- mostly for the switch-- OMS I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T ASK FOR THSC-- MAYBE IM THE HEATHEN--

Okay, it's January 5th! Literally not even two weeks after Christmas-- Feel free to scream happy birthday at me :3 XDD now I'm curious, what's yours?

awhhh thank you ;w;; 💕💞💕💞💞💕💞

and legiT- and omg- also what i do a lot is thinking i have a story all in control but then i realise that i only focused on the main parts and nOT the transitions and all that shit and then i end up last minute thinking them- XDD and ngl one page stories sound SOO much better- imo- not just for writing- but for reading as well- whenever i go to see a fanfic I always read the ones that has one chapter- dunno how to fully explain it- possibly cause its satisfying to see a story actually have its end other than a long lasting series that will never end- XDD oneshots are my FUEL

buT WoW omg this topic has now made me realise how i barely go outside- XDD i wish there would be other thingd around my neighborhood other than a "park" that has DEAD GRASS and the sprinklers go off like every hour for some reason- duNNo what the builders were thinking but i guess i dont mind- i stay in my house a whOLELE lot xD

and YESS IT GETS ME EVERYTIME- "hey lets draw-" *-WRITES-* XDD AND ABHAHAHAHA (NOW ON YOUR LOCAL MUSIC STORES- XDDDD) and omG MEEE- the times i would usually sleep would be around 3 am to 6 am- ironically my mom has a more screwed up schedule than i do- and SHE STILL HAS- last night she told me that she hasnt slept in 48 HOURSSS- MaMAAA PLEASE SLEEP

GO AWAY CAT HEATHEN- XD and omG a squirt bottle of water yes XDD and awh i definitely understand now how youll not get a cat- sounds like a hecka pain ;0;; i never even had a pet before (or not that i would recall- oh wait i think i had fish but i have an embarrassing story that made my mom ban fish from the household- OH MAN the shame)

and yeahh oh man- i hope you are okay with all these topics XDD and thank you!! 💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞

awwhh i see- i wish you can hang out with your friends without it being too risky! that reminds me of that one time where my friend said "hey so uh you guys can hang out at my house since at my parent's workplace someone was positive for covid" and then immeadiately after they were like "SO WE NEED TO GO TO ONE OF YOUR GUYS' HOUSE" and Im LIKE- UH- NOO??? nOt AfTEr you just say THAT- nuh uh- thankfully we didnt hang out that day- better safe than sorry xD

and omggg those pies sound AWWESOMEEEE- i always wanted to try pumpkin pie before but when i asked my mom that she was like "nO iTS diSGusTing" and im like "*visible confusion*" and lOwKEY SAME- pineapple pie just sounds a bit off but my mom was really hyped to make it xD i'd actually say its not that bad! but im still not a fan of pineapple so uhhh xD (aNd YEAH IT DOES feel like it would make those haters cry-- XDD)

and PFHAOHFA IM A LIVING HEATHEN- XDD omg at this time of year- it gets CRAZYY for me- first off- Tree is a true filipino- right when it was the first day october- youd hear them say "FUCK HALLOWEEN"(and id just whine to them like "BUT HALLOWENENENEN") and then their family set up a whole christmas tree and over-the-top decorations- and omg- if you hate christmas music- you would despise the philippines sO MUCH- when the FIRST day of SEPTEMBER hits- CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON ALLLLL THE STORES- it will drive you WILDDD ( yeah its actually a normal filipino thing- not that i ever went to the philippines myself at tHAT time of year- but my friends and family tell me all about it- filipinos are the true christmas maniacs XDDD)

and awhhh choir must be a pain ;0;;; that would remind me how on one concert- the beginners class of choir screamed on purpose even though they werent supposed to- the teacher got so pissed XDDD and YESSS PRESENTSSSS- and awh man- i actually dont own ANY consoles at all- so the only things i can ask for is steam games- last year for christmas i got just shapes and beats- which was WORTHHH

and oo YAY- now i shall mark that on my calander- XD and mine is february 7!