#literally back to back in 34 and 39

[kooldewd123]

if i had a nickel for every time the climax of an animorphs plot involved cassie morphing into a whale midair to dive-bomb something, i'd have three nickels

[batboyblog]

What Joe Biden and Kamala Harris did in 2024.

I started this project back in January and for most of a year, every week, I came up with the highlights of what the Biden-Harris Administration did. I did it because it felt to me our media and national conversion was broken, our government was doing huge things that it felt like almost no one knew about. It's amazing how often I struggled to find a single news source that wanted to cover a huge life changing project.

This is the last Friday before Election Day, and if you haven't already voted, take a minute to go back and look at the last 40 weeks, and decide, do you like these things or want literally the reverse on every issue.

Week 1 January 19th

Week 2 January 26th

Week 3 February 2nd

Week 4 February 9th

Week 5 February 16th

Week 6 February 23rd

Week 7 March 1st

Week 8 March 8th

Week 9 March 15th

Week 10 March 22nd

Week 11 March 29th

Week 12 April 5th

Week 13 April 12th

Week 14 April 19th

Week 15 April 26th

Week 16 May 3rd

Week 17 May 10th

Week 18 May 18th

Week 19 May 24th

Week 20 May 31st

Week 21 June 7th

Week 22 June 14th

Week 23 June 21st

Week 24 June 28th

Week 25 July 5th

Week 26 July 12th

Week 27 July 19th

Week 28 July 26th

Week 29 August 2nd

Week 30 August 9th

Week 31 August 16th

Week 32 August 30th

Week 33 September 6th

Week 34 September 13th

Week 35 September 20th

Week 36 September 27th

Week 37 October 4th

Week 38 October 11th

Week 39 October 18th

Week 40 October 25th

Feel free to reblog this or go back and reblog a favorite, one that impacts your life or the one from the week of your birthday, whatever.

and remember to read past the headlines and dig to find out what your government is up to, it might shock you how much is happening that no one talks about.

[ckret2]

✨⚠️ Wasting Away Again in the Goldilocks Zone ⚠️✨

If you're new here, this is one of those "human Bill in the Mystery Shack" redemption fics, you know the drill: Bill illegally escapes death via reincarnation; the Shack crew imprisons him til they can figure out how to kill him; but they won't, because Bill's gonna make friends with them and literally everybody else in town. Whether they like it or not.

Featuring!! The slowest redemption arc you've ever read; "human" Bill that doesn't decide being trapped in an alien body is fine; show-style episodic plot structure; individual plot arcs for characters you've never even cared about; so canon compatible we even include the dang coloring book; and so TBOB-compatible over a year before TBOB came out that I'm considering taking up a position as the Oracle of Delphi just so Apollo stops barraging me with dodgeballs.

New chapter every Friday, 5pm CST! Yes, that includes this Friday!

For art, doodles, upcoming scene excerpts, and posts about characterization & plot plans, see my #bill goldilocks cipher tag. For the fic itself, the first few chapters are on AO3, but tumblr's 60 chapters ahead:

⛓️ 1 Part 1. Bill returns, in a bedsheet toga.

⛓️ 1 Part 2. Bill tries to murder the Stans & Soos (with time travel).

⛓️ 2. Dipper and Mabel save the day (with time travel).

⛓️ 3. A tense evening as the Pines prepare to get rid of Bill.

⛓️ 4. Plot twist: the Pines physically can't get rid of Bill.

⛓️ 5. The gang goes to a diner at 3 a.m. for hostage negotiations.

⛓️ 6. Bill escapes from Theraprism. [NEW!!!]

⛓️ 7. "How'd Bill get here" flashback; plus, entering his new prison.

💇‍♀️ 8. Bill gives himself a haircut and depression.

💇‍♀️ 9. Bill & Ford grudgingly have a sincere conversation; regret it.

💇‍♀️ 10. The kids decide Bill won't ruin their summer. Also: Pacifica!

📓🔺📓 TBOB BOUNDARY: Everything above this line has been edited for 100% compatibility with The Book Of Bill and posted to AO3! Everything after this line has not been edited... so it's only 98% TBOB compatible. 📓🔺📓

🧚 11. Mabel gives Bill the most beautiful makeover ever. (It's not.)

🧚 12. Pacifica advertises Harry's Hairy Fairy Formula. Bill wants it.

🧚 13. Pacifica refuses to share; the twins discover its side effects.

🧚 14. Mabel wins Bill's eternal friendship with arts & crafts.

💭 15. Bill, Ford, and Dipper have nightmares that are Bill's fault.

💎 16. Ford has a fun day with Mabel but everything goes wrong.

💎 17. The day goes right again thanks to healthy communication.

🎥 18. Mabel's Guide To Local Animals, co-starring Bill Cipher.

🧊 19. Wendy snoops into the weird things happening in the shack.

🧊 20. Wendy meets the weird thing (it's Bill).

🎂 21. Stan & Ford's birthday party! Bill gives evil gifts.

💭 22. Bill "helps" Dipper's nightmares; no one knows his motive.

👁️ 23. Bill's ex is back in town and nobody's happy about it.

👁️ 24. Everyone's even less happy to learn Bill has a sex life.

🧿 25. Mabel and Bill make friendship bracelets! :)

🧿 26. The Pines take Bill to the mall. He wears terrible things.

🧿 27. Bill breaks Mabel's heart (and panics to fix it).

🏳️‍🌈 28. Bill talks his way into going with Wendy to Rainbow Club.

🎃 29. Bill contacts the Henchmaniacs on Summerween morning.

🎃 30. Costume making. Mabel pries into Bill's past, with crayons.

🎃 31. The Trickster's pals trick-or-treat; and Bill terrifies Dipper.

🪮 32. Dipper & Mabel make a poppet to control Bill.

🦷 33. Stan takes Bill to the dentist. In handcuffs.

🦷 34. Dentist & tooth fairy attack. Stan & Bill are still handcuffed.

🦷 35. Bill & Stan reach a painful understanding and stop the fairy.

🛁 36. Anime night; and Mabel makes Bill do community service.

🛁 37. Bill plots escape and runs into Wendy. Dipper panics.

🛁 38. Bill has the worst and stupidest day of his afterlife.

🌅 39. A cultist finds Bill; Bill tries to re-recruit Ford.

🚙 40. Gideon broadcasts car commercials; invokes Bill's wrath.

🚙 41. Bill apologizes for bullying Gideon. lol no he blackmails him.

🌕 42. Bill tells Dipper secrets of the universe; predicts an eclipse.

🌖 43. Gravity is disappearing; Ford and Fiddleford investigate.

🌗 44. Ford & Dipper drag Bill hiking; Bill faces his death.

🌘 45. Ford demands answers Bill can't give as totality looms.

🌑 46. Totality. Bill decides whether Ford lives or dies.

🌒 47. Bill feels rotten but finally explains the eclipse.

🌓 48. Bill has a complete mental breakdown.

🌔 49. The gang limps home. (Plus: a second dimensional eclipse.)

💿 50. Bill finally processes that mental breakdown.

💿 51. Dipper and Mabel try to remember the Axolotl's poem.

📖 52. The gang reads Flatworld. Bill isn't thrilled.

📖 53. Mabel tries to get Bill to talk about his home world.

⚛️ 54. Dipper, Ford, and Fiddleford do paradox physics.

📖 55. Mabel learns college-level geometry.

📖 56. Mabel & Bill have fun; Dipper & Ford prepare for murder.

💀 57. The execution of Bill Cipher.

💀 58. Everything you wondered about how Bill escaped.

💀 59. Everything you didn't wonder about how Bill escaped.

💀 60. Everything you never imagined about how Bill escaped.

✨✨ THE APOXOLOTLYPSE ✨✨

🪐 61. The Axolotl finds the second dimension's corpse. ✨

🪐 62. The 2D massacre is so much worse than the Ax thought.

🪐 63. A building inspection in the Nightmare Realm.

🪐 64. Even when Bill fixes things he breaks them.

🪐 65. A shape meets Bill as the world burns.

🪐 66. The gods & Bill negotiate him leaving Dimension Zero.

🪐 67. The gods deal with Bill not leaving Dimension Zero.

🪐 68. Bill is so much worse than the Ax thought.

🪐 69. THE END: the gods and Bill settle into a new status quo.

📙 70. Soos vacuums the attic (wow exciting)

📙 71. Soos decides how he feels about Bill's treatment.

📙 72. Fixin it with Soos: home redecorating!

🎥 73. The gang makes plans for the night.

🎥 74. Dipper's Guide to the Fremont Nightwigglers

🎥 75. Mabel's Guide to Secret Sleepovers

🎥 76. The aftermath of everybody pulling all-nighters.

🏖️ 77. Beach episode! The Pines fish! Bill tans!

🏖️ 78. Bigfoot, Agent Powers, and the cool teen gang.

Hey!! I posted chapters 61-69 AFTER this chapter, so if you've been reading along and HAVEN'T seen those yet, go back and make sure you've read them!

🏖️ 79. A post-fishing trip evening. The calm before the feds.

🕴️ 80. The government investigates the Mystery Shack... again.

🕴️ 81. What are they gonna do about the feds??

COMING SOON:

🕴️ 82. They're gonna seduce the feds.

The chapters have been renumbered!

Chapter 61 about the destruction of Bill's dimension was scheduled to post the week TBOB came out, so I skipped it and posted chapter 62 with Soos. By the time I rewrote chapter 61... it was 9 chapters long. I've now renumbered all the chapters to squeeze in ch 61-69.

This post was last updated December 27, 2024! If you're seeing this post as a reblog and it's been a while since then, check back on the original post to see if more's been added!

[thatfeelinwhenyou]

HANDS ON YOU — lee heeseung

IN WHICH; I-LAND 2 happened and you debuted first place as the leader of LUMIÈRE. Having been told that your group is involved in a lore crossover with ENHYPEN, you navigate work, friendship, and love while trying to make it in an industry filled with animosity and condemnation. When life throws you lemons, you gotta make lemonades chuck it right back!

PAIRING: idol!heeseung x idol!fem!reader

GENRE: smau, strangers to lovers, celebrity x celebrity, fluff, don’t let the first part of the smau fool you i swear it’s full on angst towards the end, slowest of the slow burns…

WARNINGS: contains profanities, horrible humour, kys/kms jokes, sexual innuendos, spelling errors, incorrect timestamps, probably some cringe-worthy moments, cyberbullying, racist and misogynistic comments made about reader, death threats, mentions/depictions of overworking, insomnia, eating disorders, not proofread etc. (i am not in anyway romanticising, encouraging or condoning the usage of these topics. purely for the plot and development of the story.)

STATUS: completed! (04/06/2023 – 08/08/2023)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: please read! literally my first attempt at a smau so please don't flame me 💀 i must warn y’all that the timestamps are really all over the place, so DO NOT pay attention to them until stated. the content and depiction of the characters in this smau do not in anyway represent them in real life. chapters with ‘(hw)’ next to them indicates that they are half-written, in case y’all accidentally skip over it! last but not least, if you do end up enjoying it please like, comment (absolutely love reading comments!), and reblog! without further ado, enjoy!!

p.s this was written way before the actual airing of I-LAND 2 and not meant to be connected with the real show/contestants in anyway. this was also before i found out you can actually put more than 10 photos in one post 🤡

TAGS: #tfwy handsonyou

prologue - introducing LUMIÈRE part 1 | part 2

profile. one | two

chapter 1 - number 1 hater

chapter 2 - infant

chapter 3 - #prayersformarklee ✊🤞

chapter 4 - dog-eater…? (hw)

chapter 5 - breaking records(?)

chapter 6 - still employed!

chapter 7 - bad publicity is still publicity

chapter 8 - to hee or not to hee

chapter 9 - the heist

chapter 10 - trigger warning

chapter 11 - soompitydimpity

chapter 12 - chronic insomnia

chapter 13 - to hee after all

chapter 14 - wild pokémon heeseungie

chapter 15 - artists

chapter 16 - that should be me

chapter 17 - bills

chapter 18 - the elephant in the room (hw)

chapter 19 - if you let me

chapter 20 - trouble? travel! (hw)

chapter 21 - caught in a lie

chapter 22 - always on your side

chapter 23 - princess syndrome

chapter 24 - you (hw)

chapter 25 - golden thread

chapter 26 - way back home (hw)

chapter 27 - uh oh…

chapter 28 - fight or flight

chapter 29 - close friends

chapter 30 - paradoxx invasion

chapter 31 - ramen

chapter 32 - 080923 (hw)

chapter 33 - driver

chapter 34 - demure and honest

chapter 35 - p-platonic?!?

chapter 36 - friends don’t look at friends that way

chapter 37 - bungeoppang

chapter 38 - back to the way things were..?

chapter 39 - wheel of fortune

chapter 40 - i miss holding your hand (hw)

chapter 41 - sooha (real)

chapter 42 - rizzseung

chapter 43 - project luminescence

chapter 44 - i will go to you like the first snow (hw)

chapter 45 - it’s awfully quiet…

chapter 46 - jake pick me era?

chapter 47 - my life without you is a misery

chapter 48 - your honour, i’m innocent

chapter 49 - breaking my silence

chapter 50 - he’s being exploited!

chapter 51 (finale) - number 1 fan (hw)

epilogue - forever ruined by you

bonus chapter!

the exes talk

Copyright© 2023 thatfeelinwhenyou All Rights Reserved

[pippin-katz]

The Awardist - Nicholas Galitzine & Taylor Zakhar Perez

I have to write down the best bits and record my thoughts while listening to this because I am completely losing my mind over what is our first real interview with the boys that was recorded in real time.

27:55 - right off the bat we got a great inside joke/reference from the host that had me cackle

28:19 - taylor being happy to see their faces and nicholas immediately shutting him down like "well i'm not happy to see taylor's face"

28:40 - taylor joking about putting a post-in note over nick's face lmfao

29:30 - the way they don't want to talk over each other, it's giving alex's bedroom flashbacks

29:40 - nick being like "oh! oh, it's good!" when dipping into the online response when the movie released lmfao 😆

30:33 - the silence following the social media question where they were apparently nodding followed by taylor saying they were texting each other like "mate" "mate" back and forth

31:20 - THEY TALKED ABOUT THE SIGNING WARS

31:44 - nicholas calling taylor "this little fucker" had me dying cause me and @meraki-yao were literally referring to him as that in our conversation on ig yesterday

32:00 - nicholas genuinely asking taylor "what possessed you to do this?"; it's giving storage closet in the children's hospital vibes when henry's like "why do you dislike me?"

33:04 - "take it nick" immediately upon being asked the dense question regarding fans reacting to their portrayals of henry and alex, and the way that nicholas laughs and stutters makes me think that taylor totally did that on purpose to mess with him lmfao

34:00 - taylor stopping to talk to fans regardless of where he is or where he's going and specfically mentioning how meaningful it was that people have said *TW* they were contemplating suicide when they read the book/watched the movie and that it helped them 🥺

35:40 - the host referred to the film as "a coming out story", which i don't really agree with as a label because the coming out portion is an added piece of their relationship as two public figures, but their love is the actual story

36:40 - nicholas referring to the film as "wholesome and funny" made me smile so much because it truly is wholesome

37:18 - not the host making the "top to bottom" joke 😭

37:58 - nicholas and taylor have talked about their friendship with each other and how they instantly clicked; nick knew within a few minutes of rehearsal that taylor was "his buddy" 🥺

38:41 - catch me squaring up with everyone who has made nicholas self conscious and self deprecating about doing so much intimacy work on the screen that he refers to it as "basically his thing" like that's all he's recognized for; i am so ready to punch some motherfuckers 😡

39:10 - "it's so fun now, seeing my mate at all these awards and stuff"; catch me fucking crying

39:24 - not taylor misremembering the "nicholas or joey" question as "who was the better kisser"; he totally combined the "is nicholas a good kisser" question with the "who has your heart tonight" question

40:05 - taylor talking about matthew's background in theatre and how they got to actually rehearse with each other; i will never stop being insanely grateful that matthew is a theatre guy

40:55 - the way i said "oh my god" out loud because i was so excited by the question

41:14 - improvised the "physicality" of the store room; i.e. they just fell on top of each other and clamored around 😂

41:32 - the way i literally gasped so hard that i started coughing when nicholas called taylor "tay", i am not even fucking joking, that was so fucking cute 😭

43:42 - fucking wheezed upon realizing where the question going

44:02 - the knowing way taylor was like "i will take this one" lmfao

45:10 - not me going so red from second hand embarrassment 🫣

45:44 - taylor bringing the jockstrap that nicholas wears in bottoms, and nicholas immediately adding "i won't even go into mary & george" 😂

47:51 - taylor finishing nicholas' sentence about matthew's direction for the cake scene; sharing a braincell lol

48:36 - taylor's dog passed away the night of the first day of filming like wow, that fucking sucks 🥺😭

49:05 - "everyone's looking at me with these sad eyes" made me so sad but then taylor said "do you want some tea?" in a terrible british accent lmfao

49:50 - nicholas complimenting and boosting taylor's performance while having such a hard time emotionally 🥺

50:49 - taylor bringing up running through the museum; i can hear the smile in his voice while talking about it 😭

51:28 - they filmed the kensington palace fight and the red room the week after nicholas got covid

52:40 - oh my god, the way you can hear nick grinning as he throws taylor under the bus for the sequel question 😂

53:30 - taylor wants a second book to base the sequel off of

54:03 - taylor used they/them pronouns for casey!! see? he knows, it was totally nerves

55:20 - it felt like it was over too soon, i desperately need more of them PLEASE 😭

This is the greatest thing that's happened in like, a month for me lmfao I am literally begging for more people to interview the boys about RWRB, I am so fucking desperate for more content of the two of them together. They are everything to me 🥺

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

[astroesque]

Vedic Astrology Observations: Part 2

#28. Sun dominant men and moon dominant women are the archetype of “bad boy good girl”.

#29. Mars dominant men seem to be attracted to Venusian women the most.

#30. Most Venusian women are a natural blonde. Not all Venusian women are blonde ofc, but if you see a blonde, it’s highly likely she could have some prominent Venus energy.

#31. Mercury dominant people are very sociable and pleasant to be around. These are some of the most talkative and interesting people out there!

#32. Politically conservative men are generally attracted to Cancerian women (sun, rashi, or ascendant).

#33. Moon dominant men can be very manipulative when it comes to women since they are usually in tune with their feminine self so they use their innate knowledge of women and feminine nature to manipulate them. (They’re still the finest tho lol).

#34. Martian and Saturnian women have the ability to build muscle fairly easily. For Mars (more of a slim thick type, toned but curvaceous) and for Saturn (ripped appearance, fit and skinny, supermodel look even if petite).

#35. Mercury influenced women (either Mercury ruled luminaries, Mercury aspecting the luminaries, or Mercury being the planet ruler of the luminaries), are generally very petite in stature.

#36. Purva Ashadha people can come across as arrogant or bossy even when they aren’t trying to and it’s usually because they are very confident in themselves and can lean towards a superiority complex. (But they are very loyal people and make great friends!)

#37. Dhanishta people might have an affinity for dance, music, or other art forms due to the symbolism of Dhanishta nakshatra being a drum.

#38. Rahu dominant people can come off as crazy or chaotic due to the disruptive nature of the planet.

#39. Ashlesha people are very sharp minded and shrewd. They make great businesspeople and are hard to deceive.

#40. The most masculine nakshatras imo are: Uttara Ashadha, Uttara Phalguni, and Magha.

#41. Rohini and Hasta individuals are some of the most comfortable people to be around. They’re very personable and have easy going personalities.

#42. Dhanishta people have the natural ability to gain fame and popularity.

#43. Sun dominant men are the “manly men” who represent the archetypal masculine energy, have a traditionally masculine appearance, and can be players. This is similar to how Moon dominant women are the archetypal feminine.

#44. Revati women are very sweet but can also be bullies at the same time.

#45. Jyeshta people are usually the most successful ones in their chosen fields whether it’s career, sports, etc. They are very determined and learn to become the best at whatever they choose to pursue.

#46. UBP people make for some of the most loyal, caring, and devoted spouses that if they have break up with someone, the other person will eventually want to come back to the Uttarabhadrapada.

#47. Magha people have the tendency to be very nationalistic possibly to the point of bigotry. They usually are also very proud of their ancestry/heritage.

#48. Shravana people are very good listeners, hence the symbol of Shravana being the ear. They truly are the best people to go to if you want to rant out your feelings/say something because they will truly listen to you try and understand you on a deeper level.

#49. Saturn dominant women and Sun dominant men are the definition of a love-hate relationship. Saturn hates the ego of Sun yet she knows how to cool him down whenever necessary which makes for a very interesting and balanced dynamic in the relationship.

#50. Moon dominant women are naturally very intuitive and may be psychics, tarot readers, or well versed in astrology. Ketu women have this trait too of being very spiritual.

#51. Swati women are probably the most friendly people around and these women literally have no enemies and even if they do they are usually still friendly with them and pleasant to everyone regardless of who they mean to them.

#52. Rahu people are naturally very rebellious and find faults in society rather than in themselves. This is opposite to Saturnian people generally conforming to the rules and finding faults within themselves rather than other people.

[catslvrr]

game plan

kim minji x fem!reader | smau

Synopsis: Your relationship with university roommate, Minji, starts off rocky because of your love for gaming, which has led to many sleepless nights for her. However, you’re determined to change this through your self-proclaimed charm and with the help of your #1 hype-man, Hyein (and with Haerin watching on the sidelines).

Contains: cursing, injuries, fire, drinking, suggestive & death-related jokes, timestamps matter(?), self-indulgent game mentions

Profiles: 🦦🦦🦦 | 🤝

Chapters:

00. the build-up

01. the blow-up

02. let them (over)cook

03. the furies

04. david anklebreaker

05. bed-ridden

06. snorrr mimimi

07. change for the better

08. get along t-shirt

flashback: false accusations

09. the first conversation

10. just ONE run

11. haerin’s beloved mug

12. just roommates

13. recovery week

14. mission dwm initiated

15. hyein attenborough strikes again

16. add it to the list

17. let her cook (literally)

18. the aftermath

19. an honest mistake

20. two sides of the same coin

21. moving (back) in

22. famous last words

23. dying a legend

24. the foretold prophecy

25. back to reality

26. change of heart

27. pick a struggle

28. WWYD (what would y/n do)

29. making up for lost time

flashback: leaning tower of pocky

30. back in the game

31. thumbs up

32. levelling up

33. sage advice

34. game night

35. a GREAT morning

36. compsci club UNITE! (plus haerin and hanni)

37. forgotten nuggets

38. URETHRA!

39. game night pt. 2

40. y/n stats

41. be there or square

42. local celebrity

43. smash tournament

44. game night pt. 3

45. mission luts initiated

46. return of the furies

47. game night pt. 4

48. d-day

49. going out with a bang

50. over and (knocked) out

51. deja vu

52. after all these years

flashback: the very first mission

53. endgame

[toruro]

## last updated ...

— 11/19/23

## indicators

(🌻) — popular, (💐) — personal favorite, (m) — mature / smut / 18+, (f) — fluff, (a) — angst

## other

— writing & drabble tags can be found in search bar (tags occasionally faulty / don't show works of 15k+ words in length) — minors do not interact w works labeled smut and / or (m)

choi seungcheol

— ✧ exes and oh's

— genre. smut (18+), angst, ex-friends to lovers, fluff ish — w/c. 15.8k

— ✧ the cake in the back 🌻

— genre. smut (18+), fluff, dilf!cheol, baker!reader — w/c. 3.8k

escapades (m)

sweet (like candy) (m)

take care (m)

yoon jeonghan

— ✧ can’t you see me? — coming soon

— genre. smut (18+), fwb, brother’s best friend, angst, fluff — w/c. estimated 10k+

choking + thigh riding (m)

hong joshua

— ✧ mr. nice guy 🌻

— genre. smut, neighbors au — w/c. 5.3k 

— ✧ isohel 💐

— genre. modern royalty au, slowburn, angst, fluff — w/c. 26.2k

— ✧ 00:00

— an alternate ending to isohel — genre. angst — w/c. 850+

take (all of it) (m)

too much (not enough) (m)

pup (m)

untitled (m)

[14:39] (m)

gentleman (m)

wen junhui

make me a mess (m)

one bed (two hearts) (m)

like crazy (w/c: 1.6k) (m)

fucking in your childhood bedroom (m)

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[19:44] (m)

kwon soonyoung

— ✧ crazy stupid love

— genre. smut (18+), f2l, fwb, minor angst, fluff — w/c. 3.6k

— ✧ bark (like a dog) 💐

— a part of new rules — genre. smut (18+), mafia au, minor angst, — w/c. 7.3k

drive me up a wall (m)

impurities (show you my impurities) (m, f)

riding him on the couch (m)

untitled (a, m)

jeon wonwoo

— ✧ love you twice — pt.1pt.2pt.3 (m, f, a)

— discontinued — rewrite being considered* — genre. smut (18+), fluff, teacher wonwoo, single mother reader, minor angst

— ✧ desperate 🌻

— genre. smut (18+), established relationship, fluff, minor angst — w/c. 3.7k

— ✧ scrawled in sand

— genre. smut (18+), break up au, angst — w/c. 2.8k

threesome w/ mingyu (m)

light a flame (m, a)

[18:55] (m)

lee jihoon

[7:34] (f)

[20:56] (f)

side by side (m) 💐

lee seokmin

thigh riding (m)

kim mingyu

— ✧ to the brim 🌻

— genre. literally just smut (18+), husband mingyu — w/c. 2.9k

— ✧ back to december

— genre. smut (18+), best friends to strangers to lovers, angst, fluff — w/c. 4.3k

angel — pt. 1 pt.2 (m)

bday fun (m)

overstim (m)

trust (fall) (m) 🌻

what a view (m)

too hot (m)

[16:09] (f)

LO$ER=LO♡ER (m)

xu minghao

— ✧ the letter 💐🌻

— genre. slowburn, fluff, angst, childhood f2l, idol au — w/c. 26.6k — smut posted separately and not relavent to the plot

— ✧ red (k)nights

— genre. smut(18+), royalty au, fluff — w/c. 6.7k

— ✧ oh my!

— genre. smut (18+), fluff — w/c. 13.6k

— ✧ devil by the window

— a friday the thirteen special! — genre. smut (18+), enchanted forest au, fairy reader, demon hao — w/c. 4.6k

— ✧ flight of the starts 💐

— genre. smut (18+), f1 au, angst, fluff, racer minghao, physiotherapist reader — w/c. 13.3k

— ✧ idubilu

— genre. smut (18+), ceo & husband minghao, fluff — w/c. 2.8k

holding hands (m, f)

flying & fucking (m)

untitled (m, f)

[21:03] (f)

blade of hearts (m) 💐

[22:34] (m)

do not touch (m)

mile high club ... ? (m)

boo seungkwan

sweet things (m, f) 💐

corruption kink (m)

chwe vernon

untitled (f)

[10:12] (f)

lee chan

— ✧ crybaby 💐

— series. 2/3 completed — genre. smut (18+), tattooist chan, crybaby reader, fluff, minor angst — total w/c. 13k

push and pull (m)

untitled (m, f)

take it (m)

[21:14] (m)

messy messy messy! (m)

nectar of the gods (m, a)

do not repost, copy, or modify my work.

[chaoticace2005]

You guys asked for it…

Why Lilith might have left Lucifer:

1. She lost interest. Simple at that. 10,000 years of the same routine…

2. She found out where Eve was and ran to her long lost love.

3. A deal was made with Alastor and she had to flee for her nefarious plans.

4a. Lucifer was bad in bed.

4b. He wouldn’t let her take off his hat while having sex.

5. Lucifer was good in bed and she was getting addicted, so for her own sake she left.

6. She had to get milk.

7. She took a look at hell after all her years of working, saw how fucked up humans are and said “nah.”

8. Donald Trump became president so she fled the country but forgot to take her family with her.

9. She could no longer deal with Lucifer’s ~autistic swag~

10. She got a coupon for an expense-paid trip to the Bahamas.

11. Lucifer wasn’t doing the DAMN DISHES.

12. Lucifer kept asking her to “quack” in bed.

13. There weren’t any good marriage counselors in hell. So she read drama books to fix her marriage and thought this was the best solution.

14. Lucifer got a sleep apnea machine and she couldn’t handle it anymore.

15. She bonked her head and completely forgot who she was. That’s why she scowls when Lute says “Lilith” at the end- because she has no idea who “Lilith” is.

16. Seven years ago Alastor killed Lilith. To cover his tracks he put on a wig and visibly left the cast as “her.”

17. SOMEBODY wasn’t putting the damn seat down. Do you think they have to deal with this in Heaven?

18. There was a silent uprising and assassination plot. She dealt with it all while Charlie and Lucifer remained oblivious, but is now being hunted.

19. Faked her death. Lucifer is somehow unaware that his wife even “died.”

20. Niffty blackmailed her into leaving.

21. They ran out of blond dye at the Hellmart and she couldn’t handle being the only one in the family without blond hair.

22. She felt the need to leave her family, build a luxurious pirate ship, hire random pirates, and sail the seas until she had a homoerotic relationship with a competing pirate and retired.

23. She too borrowed 50 grand from loan sharks, stole a car, and crashed it into a loan shark’s girlfriend (but that bitch had it coming!)

24. She went down in an airplane.

25. Fried getting suntanned.

26. Fell in a cement mixer full of quicksand.

27. Her feather allergy kept getting worse and she had to leave for her health.

28. Lucifer kept saying he was “magic in bed” and then would do magic tricks despite being a LITERAL ANGEL.

29. Susan.

30. Committed tax fraud and had to flee the country.

31. She was going to get bottom surgery after Lucifer’s top surgery and is still recovering. (Hell doctors SUCK okay??)

32. Lucifer wouldn’t admit that water is wet.

33. Lucifer was putting ketchup on his pancakes.

34. Lucifer wasn’t vibing with her BFF-girlboss-malewife-bestie Alastor. She couldn’t deal with the ~drama~

35. He wouldn’t stop talking about his Fantasy Sports team.

36. Needed to find some artistic inspiration because the whole “I’m in hell” thing is SO overdone.

37. Not a fan of the circus or clowns.

38. Mental health break. She’ll come back when she’s ready. Sometimes it takes a while.

39. She was KIDNAPPED.

40. Lilith is dead. That’s not Lilith. That’s a shadow version of Lilith made by Alastor who works for her killer (Eve?) That’s why she wears sunglasses. So we can’t see her eyes and the empty void behind them.

[dailycass-cain]

As promised many months ago to end this day, here's a 🧵of the insanity Cassandra Cain's "human" body can do due to what David Cain put her through (besides the two obvious ones of body language and various forms of killing he trained her in).

The best issue that showcases that is of course Batgirl Vol. 1 #14 where various government agencies look at the footage Cass got caught filmed in.

The first few pages are literally showcasing how inhuman, but still bordering on human she is due to what David Cain put her through.

This is always fully covered throughout Batgirl Volume 1 and is usually forgotten when writers and editors tend to have their job. Not saying any names or storylines of any RECENT kind where a WAR broke out in GOTHAM.

is still salty YES

We've seen Cass's speed all the time throughout the Puckett run. To just showcase the prior issue's bullet dodging or her issue of Tim (#18) be child's play (along with her taking several shots up close and dodging each one from a certain corrupt government bastard).

Nah the best example of Cass's true "speed" is in #34 facing the mob boss Ving and his gang.

Yeah, you're seeing that right she is faster than a freaking bullet. Surprising how SOME seem to forget that in other comics. 🙄

Something even Batgirls remembered (#15) when Cass was playing shogun dodge with Cluemaster who was trying to shoot her with a shotgun.

But what of Cassandra's strength? Just how strong is she really?

#19 where Cass is faced with the obstacle of three-inch quartz preventing her from escaping a gas chamber. So let's examine just how thick three-inch quartz is.

Well, let's google just that.

A SEVEN on the hardness scale. Further research says that it can only crack due to "extreme impacts" which wouldn't ya know:

As for her body itself, Batgirl/Ghost: The Ressurection Machine #3 suggests this about Cass being immune to A LOT of poisons:

Something Batgirl Vol. 1 "sort of" delves in #50 when both she and Bruce are doused with a new batch of super drug but it turns out they were both immune to it due to them being built differently than normal humans.

This is all the more surprising because a few issues prior to (#46) Cass is doused with a version of it, but you could say given what she "sees" Cass is under A LOT of stress (the building tension with Bruce, Babs breaking up with Dick, Superboy/Black Wind stuff). Plus she does "sort of" snap out of it to beat the bad guys in that issue.

Just like in #51 she avoids the pheromones to Poison Ivy even though she is showing signs of falling under the hormones but snaps out of it due to willpower (something Bruce was almost succumbing to before he fully snapped out of it too).

It really feels like "this anti-poison" ability Cass had was all but forgotten once the series ended. Of course, naturally with a certain "infamous" story ONE YEAR LATER, but also Batman & Robin Eternal as she is affected by Fear Toxin (among other stuff too).

#9 & #59 showcase that David Cain shot Cass regularly so much that she can not even feel it. This could explain also HOW she was eventually able to dodge bullets and become so fast.

#22 also showcases this as well so this is not something simply just randomly put in. This was something the writers wanted to show the sickening lengths David Cain put Cass through.

Again, #14 brought up Cass's metabolism and how off the charts it was. I think something we just overlooked is that in #26 Cass slept for 20 hours a day for four days (or perhaps longer) straight until she fully recovered from fighting Lady Shiva.

That's not even going under the amount of food she consumes. This little detail was first showcased in #39 when Cass ate like she was freaking Goku.

This little bit of detail was brought back in #66 when she ordered THREE burgers (I'm assuming with everything on it) with three sides of fries and a BIG milk.

Amusingly, this detail was recently brought back in Nightwing #106 & #108 where she FEASTED on who knows how many pancakes.

Lastly, I feel this bit is worth mentioning as well from #47 with Doctor Lewis Friedman who started the theory on body language that David Cain made a frightening reality with Cass (shame he was never brought up again after this issue).

All this isn't even counting on the extremely LONG hours of shower time Cass picked up in the Gabrych run that even Willingham's Robin (which went on during this) teased (something again Batgirls kept up on).

So there you have it. The utter anomaly that is the body of one Cassandra Cain.

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Living Whumpee Weapon Masterlist!!!

Warnings: forced living weapon/fighter, captive whumpee, memory loss, murder mission, killing of all ages including children, torture/violent interrogation, lots of blood

Summary: Whumpee has been tortured and trained to be a perfect living weapon for war... a lethal killing machine. He is used to mindlessly following orders and carrying out missions. But this time... he's sent to kill a town full of innocents, and things change fast. He still kills them all, of course... but he missed one, and soon after the enemy captures him alive. What will the enemy choose to do with Weapon?

Part 1 - Living Weapon Unleashed

Part 2 - He is a Weapon. And Weapons Don't Weep

Part 3 - You Missed One

Part 4 - First Touch of Kindness

Part 5 - Enemy Colors Sighted: Engage Threat

Part 6 - Captured

Part 7 - Interrogation

Part 8 - Innocent Little Ray of Sunshine

Part 9 - Memories

Part 10 - Weapon is Begged for Help

Part 11 - Fight One Last Time, and You'll Be Free...

Part 12 - Chaos & Conditioning

Part 13 - Stabbed in the Back (Literally)

Part 14 - Wounded Weapon

Part 15 - Meet Your New Team

Part 16 - Rocky Alliance

Part 17 - Bitter Betrayal

Part 18 - Being Set Up

Part 19 - Proven Innocent

Part 20 - Whumpee's Made a 'Maybe' Friend

Part 21 - Whumpee Faces His Betrayer

Part 22 - Truce? Truce.

Part 23 - The Truth

Part 24 - Finally! Some Respect

Part 25 - Preparing for War

Part 26 - Goodbyes

Part 27 - Off to War We Go

Part 28 - It's a Trap!

Part 29 - Bloody Traitor

Part 30 - Karma in Whumpee Form

Part 31 - Reap What You Sow

Part 32 - RUN

Part 33 - Close Your Eyes & Cover Your Ears

Part 34 - Threat Neutralized

Part 35 - Give Them a War to Remember

Part 36 - Blood and Gunpowder

Part 37 - Ignoring Orders

Part 38 - He is a Weapon. And Weapons Are Made for War

Part 39 - The End of the End

Part 40 - Gentle Giant

BONUS SCENE part 1 - Dreams or Memories?

Part 2 - Weapon's Identity Crisis

Part 3 - Who Am I Really?!

Part 4 - Scarred-Up Monster

Part 5 - Runaway Rage

Part 6 - Reluctantly Accepting Comfort

Part 7 - Want to Talk About it?

Part 8 - Sympathy

Part 9 - Light in the Darkness

Part 10 - You Don't Have to be Alone Anymore

Part 11 - The Gift of Kindness

Part 12 - Seeking Answers

Part 13 - Monster, Monster, in my Head, Won't You Tell Me How You're Not Dead?

Part 14 - He's a Monster... and Monsters Don't Deserve to be Loved

Part 15 - Cornered by Weapon

Part 16 - Cold Realization

Part 17 - The Truth

Part 18 - There's Something I Need to Tell You...

Part 19 - The Forgotten One

Part 20 - Trust Test

Part 21 - Message for Miranda

Part 22 - I'm Sorry... Forgive Me?

Part 23 - Acceptance

Part 24 - Forgiven

Part 25 -

Whumpee & Myra art done by a special fan!!

Main Masterlist

@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump

@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @i-don't-know-sal @togzy

@whump-till-ya-jump @cravesunconditionallove @whumpwritinglover222 @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @cepheusgalaxy

[thelonelyempath]

Sick Prompts III

"You feeling okay?"

2. "I literally never get sick. Why is this happening?"

3. "Relax, babe. It's just a cold."

4. "It tastes terrible, I know. But it'll make your fever go down."

5. "I don't think I've ever seen somebody pass out so hard while taking a nap."

6. "Why are your hands so cold?"

7. "You okay? You're never this quiet."

8. "Weren't you sick just last month?"

9. "Come on, baby. It's time to wake up."

10. "Just let me take care of you, okay?"

11. "Your face is white and your hair is a mess, but it's actually pretty cute."

12. "I poked your nose once and it made you sneeze. That's not normal."

13. "This is what happens when you don't sleep."

14. "Bless you."

15. "Do you know where you are and what time it is?"

16. "I made you tea."

17. "I just can't get warm."

18. "Stay here. I'll go get you a blanket."

19. "You look like death."

20. "Can you stay awake for me?"

21. "Is it okay if I touch you?"

22. "You're sick. If you overexert yourself, you're gonna get sicker."

23. "Go back to sleep, honey."

24. "Lightheaded, huh? Perhaps I should carry you to bed."

25. "I don't need to have the heater on when I can just cuddle with you, you human fireplace."

26. "Don't feel bad if you puke this up. At least you tried to keep it down."

27. "I don't care if I get sick. Give me a kiss."

28. "I'll try my best to not sneeze on you."

29. "You have a fever, sweetheart. Of course I'm not going anywhere."

30. "I'm right here if you need anything."

31. "Feeling any better?"

32. "I wish I could make your sick go away."

33. "Here's some medicine, love."

34. "Let me just swim through this ocean of tissues first."

35. "Sit up for me, baby. Just for a second so you can take your medicine."

36. "Don't push yourself so hard. Let me help you."

37. "Go lie down before you pass out."

38. "When were you planning to tell me you were sick?"

39. "Follow my finger."

40. "Sick cuddles are the best."

[shanastoryteller]

Happy pride!!! I would die for a continuation of lady mo please!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39

Wei Wuxian is keeping himself upright through sheer force of will and his utter refusal to let Lan Zhan be right about anything.

He has been sort of exhausted lately, but he’s been training himself into the ground and keeping to ridiculous Lan morning routines and he has a curse mark slowly killing him, so he thinks he’s entitled. He would have made it to the Jin tower just fine if he hadn’t run into Song Lan and had to hunt down a town fierce corpses and fight Xue Yang. That alone would leave most people exhausted, so he has a perfectly good excuse for his vision to be going fuzzy on the edges.

Except he’d literally rather fall off his sword and snap his neck then admit that. He can’t even let that happen, because A-Qing is flying on his sword with him, and she’s not even a cultivator. Her bones will break a lot easier than his will.

He’s not even injured. Or, well, not any injuries that count. He once fought off fierce corpses right after having his core ripped out, being tortured, and dropped from a height high enough to kill. Some bruises and cuts are nothing, and they don’t feel like anything now. Maybe he should have let Xue Yang stab him a couple of times. It would have made everything more believable and also would have let him nap with his dignity intact.

They land back at the inn and the rest of the Lans look extremely relieved and then confused when they see their newest additions. Except for Jin Guangyao, who only shows that he’s noticed them by raising a single eyebrow and looking to him immediately.

Jin Guangyao is a stone cold bitch that’s too smart for anyone’s own good. Wei Wuxian sort of regrets that they’d never had any reason to really get to know one another during the war. Surely Jin Guangyao could have steered him away from some of his worse decisions.

“We’re bringing guests,” he announces to all of them, jumping to the ground and nudging A-Qing to do the same with a guiding hand on her hip. “Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen, who I assume you all already know. And A-Qing. They’ve had a rough time and we’re going to be very nice to them.” He looks over to Lan Xichen. “I guess it’s a good thing that you brought the carriage. They can ride in there the rest of the way.”

The awkward silence is broken by Jin Guangyao saying, “Madame Jin is not fond of accommodating extra guests.”

Madame Jin is going to make Jin Guangyao deal with it because she’s petty that way. Apparently Jin Zixuan plays interference as much as he can, but considering he’s no longer fighting fit and the perfect heir he once was, his ability to influence his mother has been similarly reduced.

A politician down to her core. Wei Wuxian might be able to admire it if it didn’t make him hate her so much.

“I’m not fond of Madame Jin, so I’m sure it even outs,” he says carelessly.

Some of the Lan go to the effort to pretend to be appalled but most of them seem to have no problem agreeing, regardless of all the rules of propriety and respecting one’s elders that he’s breaking. People take their cue from their leaders and Lan Xichen is straight up just pretending he didn’t say that, probably because he agrees.

He’s treated to the rare sight of Jin Guangyao’s dimples. “Can you at least pretend not to be a menace? I can only put out so many fires at once.”

“I can pretend,” he agrees and then A-Qing is faking a coughing fit to hide her giggles.

[eardefenders]

Sherlock & Co - Mailbag Episode 2 Transcript

00:00-00:30 Intro Music

00:27-00:34 *Sounds of a violin playing fade in*

00:34 Sherlock: You see? You see what I mean?

00:37 John: I…don’t.

00:39 Sherlock: Listen! *scoffs* Listen, closely this time. Shh. *resumes playing the bit from the fade in*

00:43 John: Argh. *pause* For God’s sake.

*Sherlock keeps playing*

00:46 John: Sherlock, please mate. We’ve got questions to get through here.

*Sherlock keeps playing*

00:52 John: Maaaate. Matey, mate mate mate mate.

00:55 Sherlock: Did you hear it this time?

00:57 John: Yeah. Sure. Uhh, right. So let’s dive into the discord chat. The brand spanking new discord for Sherlock and Co members. Brimming with Stamfords, Irregulars, and Diogene-sohmy God. There’s thousands of messages. Um, right. Should probably been keeping tabs on those questions. All right I’m going to scroll up and pick one f-from um the sssixteenth of January. Here we go! Come on down…IdleVice! Uh, your question is, “If you could make a Spotify playlist for each other of your own favorite songs, what would some of the highlights be and would you be willing to share the playlists with us. Ooh hoohoho. Uuuhhm. I don’t know if I’d ever get around to actually, y’know, putting the playlist together, as, as such, but what I-I would get Sherlock to listen to. Ummm mmmm probably Elbow? Elbow are a band from the north of England. Uh, Salford I think. But they have, uh, a few strings sort of. I-I don’t know what it’s called-but, elements that involve violins. Um, and all that jazz. Heh. Uh well not jazz! Uh, literally, not jazz. Uh, yeah, Sherlock, what about me?

02:07 Sherlock: Hm?

02:08 John: If you could make a playlist of songs for me what would it be?

02:12 Sherlock: I probably would never do that, Watson.

02:16 John: Okay. Uh, could you expand on that?

02:19 Sherlock: It’s a task that I wouldn’t find that fulfil-Vivaldi.

02:23 John: Uhh, right. Vivaldi. Yep. Anything else pop into mind?

02:29 Sherlock: Pop.

02:31 John: Pop? Is that-what’s that?

02:33 Sherlock: It’s a genre of music.

02:35 John: Uh, right, you’d make a pop playlist for me?

02:38 Sherlock: I’d probably enlist Mrs. Hudson to do that.

02:41 John: Fair enough. And why pop?

02:43 Sherlock: Because it’s an abbreviation for ‘popular music’.

02:45 John: No, I know that.

02:47 Sherlock: You like popular culture, therefore pop music could very well be your cup of green tea.

02:54 John: It’s, it’s just cup of tea. Bu-uh-uh, well, okay, uh, thank you for that. Uh, back to the discord dudes and dudettes. Um, not that I was implying any kind of masculine energy to the use of the word dudes. Dudes will remain, uh, um, an-an-an-androgynous here. My…dudes. Bit like the word mate! I do throw it around. Ummm. Some people just think it’s for blokes. Don’t know why. Uh, anyway. Here we go. Leaf-onk, layff, layfonk? I hope I’m saying that right. Uh, Leif-Leif*onk* asks, ‘Has Sherlock ever hit a vape?”

03:28 Sherlock: Yes.

03:29 John: Lovely. They’d also like to know the flavor.

03:31 Sherlock: Menthol.

03:32 John: D-do you want to expand?

03:35 Sherlock: Mm, not really.

03:37 John: Did you like it?

03:38 Sherlock: It was satisfactory, I suppose.

03:41 John: *sighs* Another thrilling q and a session with the master detective. Here we go! Number one archie fan-He-he-heeyyy! Archie! Found your number one fan mate. Heh. Think they also go by potpourri. Not sure. Don’t really know how discord works because I was born in 1989. Anyway! Number one Archie fan asks, do you have a favorite classical piece? Or a favorite composer, perhaps?

04:05 Sherlock: Mozart, generally. Can often be tied to my mood. What about Vivaldi? You said Vivaldi earlier?

04:12 Sherlock: That was a recommendation to you.

04:14 John: But not you?

04:14 Sherlock: Definitely not.

04:16 John: Great.

04:17 Sherlock: Uh, Mozart, Bach, Tchaikovsky. But I am often driven by whatever phase I feel I’m in.

04:23 John: And we’re in a Mozart phase now, are we?

04:26 Sherlock: We are indeed.

04:27 John: Fab. Right, uh, Reeonk asks-ohkay, ok, I see what you’re doing now. Cause of. Cause of Jonk. Okahaha. Let’s all laugh at Jonk-John, I mean.

04:40 Sherlock: *laughs*

04:41 John (affectionately): Oh, ge-Shut up, you big idiot.

04:44 Sherlock: *still laughing*

04:45 John (affectionately annoyed): Shut it. Ha. Uhhhh, we’ll cut that bit. I swear to God. Right! Reonk, who I think also goes by Perfo, if I click here. But yes, as I was saying, millennial at the wheel. Sorry. Reonk’s first question, “Hey John, if you were an animal, what animal would you be?” Uhhhum, *clicks tongue* look, I’ve got to be something airborne. Um, uh I’m sorry, but I have to. Y-y-you can’t have the chance to fly and turn it down, so, uh, I’m a bird.

05:09 Sherlock: Or a bug.

05:10 John: S-s-sorry?

05:11 Sherlock: Bugs. Insects. They’re airborne. Hm, as is some bacteria.

05:16 John: Great, yeah. Let me just decide between a gnat and a germ.

05:19 Sherlock: By all means. Take your time.

05:21 John: I’m being sarcastic. I’m not a bug and I’m not bloody…germs. I’m. *sighs* I mean it’s too much pressure being an eagle, isn’t it. Um, *clicks tongue three times* I don’t want to be something that’s crap at flying, like a swan or a goose or something. Shoutout to Heather, by the way. Ehhh, aw come on John, come on John. Um. Ooo! Tell you what. Now this is going to sound stupid, but if it was my brain in the animal-

05:47 Sherlock: Yes, this is going to sound stupid.

05:49 John: Shh-sh-shh. Yes, if it was me. In the animal. I’m going pigeon.

05:54 Sherlock: Pigeon?

05:55 John: Pigeon. Ehh? Right, listen, ok. I can still live in the city. I cou-I could even live in my room, really.

06:01 Sherlock: You absolutely cannot.

06:03 John: What? Why not?

06:04 Sherlock: I’m not flatsharing with a bloody pigeon, Watson.

06:06 John: It’s me.

06:07 Sherlock: Yes, in the body of a pigeon.

06:09 John: Listen, let me finish my point. I’m a pigeon. I’ve got my room. I can fly about London, y’know? See all the sites, dive bomb some tourists, do a little poo on the House of Commons. I could nick a bit of decent grub. Yeah, go on walks with Archie and Mariana in the park. And no one is the wiser. If I was an eagle or a, y’know, like an albatross, I couldn’t do that, could I? No? It’d be great flying across town, even take the tube. Saw a pigeon on the tube the other day.

06:39 Sherlock: Yes, you said. Twice.

06:41 John: I could look through people’s windows, you know go in their gardens, on their patios….That makes me sound creepy, doesn’t it? Ah, pigeon! *clears his throat* The answer is pigeon. Second question, “What kitchen appliance would you be?” *clicks tongue twice and sucks air in thorough his teeth* Hm. Not being a microwave. No way, don’t get cleaned enough and, uh, having curries and bloody pizzas blowing up inside me, geezus. Uh, fridge. Maybe. Mmm, but I’d see a lot of rotting food, wouldn’t I? Especially if people are away for a while. Probably go with something fun, y’know something where I come out of the pantry or the, y’know, the cupboard or whatever, and all the family go ‘yaayyy, heyhey here he is!’-Wafflemaker, I’d be a wafflemaker. Everyone loves waffles. No one’s getting board of me. I’m getting cleaned. Perfect. Pigeon and a wafflemaker. Ha! That’s not a bad name for our band, eh Sherlock?

07:32 Sherlock: We’re not making a band.

07:33 John: Yeahhh, it was a joke. Right! It’s biscuit time! Saren says ‘Question for Sherlock: What kind of biscuits are, in your opinion, the best?

07:42: *sound of someone walking away*

07:43 John: Uhh, what’re you doing?

07:44 Sherlock: Answering the question.

07:44 John: Well, that would involve sitting down and talking into the mic.

07:48 Sherlock *sound of papers*: Here.

07:49 John: This…is an essay….on biscuits.

07:52 Sherlock: Yes.

07:54 John: By you.

07:55 Sherlock: Yes.

07:56 John: Okay.

07:58 Sherlock: Well, read it. My findings are in there.

08:01 John: Whaaa…it’s thirty-nine pages long.

08:03 Sherlock: Indeed.

08:04 John: Thi-this is supposed to be a snappy question and answer segment. Y’know it’s supposed to be a patreon reward, not a bloody punishment. *sarcastically* ‘Aww thanks for giving six quid everybody, here’s an eleven hour lecture on biscuits.’

08:15 Sherlock: They asked the question.

08:16 John: Right, ok. So, uh, he was eating a lot of custard creams the other day. Um, for those of you who aren’t British, uh, a custard cream is, uh, a sort of sandwich structured biscuit, wouldn’t’cha say?

08:26 Sherlock: Correct. Yes. A sandwich in structure. Two light shortbread pieces acting as the bread. Often stamped with a Victorian inspired Baroque design. And the filling was once a buttercream, but now is a custard flavored cream based on vanilla custard. Not egg custard.

08:43 John: Right, yeah. It’s, it’s that. Um, they’re nice. They are nice. Very moreish. Um, Ellionk, or Ellie, I think, when they’re not ‘Onk’ified, want’s to know ‘Favorite Supermarket: Tesco or Sainsbury’s?’ Um, well, both have gone downhill in recent years, I have to say. So, I’m going to go for neither and say co-op. Yeah, cause every now and again you find a really really good one. But if I’m in fantasy land, it’s M&S Foods or Waitrose. *clicks tongue* Yeah. Uh, there’s a chemistry question here from Ranger Pip which I don’t even begin to understand, so I’m going to move on. Sorry, Ranger Pip.

09:18 John (cont.): Right, last one! ‘Question for possibly John or Sherlock, not sure, lol. What is the story behind the theme tune. Just have to say whoever composed it, the musicians need an award and a shoutout on the podcast.’ Uh, yeah, well it’s a great theme tune, isn’t it? It really is. It’s called ‘Mad Prodigy’. *clears his throat pointedly*

09:39 Sherlock: Why are you making that noise?

09:41 John: Ah well, just saying mate.

09:43 Sherlock: I’m not mad. Or a prodigy.

09:46 John: Hey, uh, I-I’m not saying anything. Um, yeah, it’s it’s by a guy called Jody Jenkins. Uhhh, the reason why I don’t release it like some people asked me to is because it’s owned by a royalty free site. Um, *clicks tongue* the reason why Jody Jenkins doesn’t release it, is the same reason. I-it’s owned by a royalty free site. Uh, that’s generally how they work. I-I pay a fee. Well. Goalhanger pay a fee, use the track, and it belongs too…yeah. Audio Network. Um, I think he’s fab, yeah. But as far as crediting him out loud on the podcast, um, some artists don’t want royalty free work assigned to them. Um, they just do it for a paycheck. Some do. I don’t know him obviously and of course, I-I could piss off the company that actually owns the audio if I just mention him and uh, not-

10:34: *phone vibrates*

10:36 John: Message from Mariana. ‘You’re waffling. These people are paying us their hard earned money.’ Right! Soundproofing in these old houses aren’t what they used to be, are they? Um, *clicks tongue* yeah that’s the reason songwise. Nothing for or against Jody Jenkins. I’m just playing it safe cause these things s-scare me. *chuckles* Corporations and blech, yeah. Uh, horrible stuff.

10:54: *phone vibrates*

10:55 John: Um, message from Mariana. Right, yeah, I’m gonna wrap this up. Uh, thanks for your questions my lovely friends, we’ll be back soon. And, now to play us out, the one and only, Sherlock Holmes.

11:08 Sherlock: What?

11:08 John: Play! Play a song!

11:10 Sherlock *pleased*: Oh. Excellent! Uh, okay. Here we go!

11:14: *violin playing starts up*

11:17 John: Bye bye guys!

11:32: *sherlock’s violin playing cuts into Mad Prodigy

11:32-12:02 *Mad Prodigy carries us out to the end*

[footnotesaregreat]

Hua Cheng's Simp Diaries 101

*a list of his simp moments bc you've never seen a man so deeply in love*

1. found and kept xie lian's earring from the first time they met when he was 10

2. plays with it a lot

3. kept the umbrella xie lian gave him when it was raining at his shrine

4. only ate from the offerings at the shrine when he was certain it was xie lian himself who told him to

5. was one of the few people who didn't kneel to pray to xie lian bc it was what he asked

6. he brought fresh flowers to the shrine everyday for xie lian's statue to hold

7. he tied the red string of fate on the finger xie lian had tied his own hair around to protect him in the cave

8. he turned his ashes into a ring which he gave to xie lian

9. told him it was nothing important

10. made him his reason to live because xie lian told him to

11. he built thousands of statues and shrines for xie lian

12. he challenged the 33 gods that ridiculed xie lian beat them in battle and burned down their temples *girlboss*

13. he's been drawing xie lian's picture from when he was a child from the first day that he saved him

14. made a big ass door for the shrine so it'd be better protected

15. when xie lian was blown away by the sandstorm at ban yue pass and accidentally grabbed onto him he only said: gege there you are don't fly away again

16. literally sucked venom out of xie lian's hand and then proceeded to explode the snake that stung him

17. made sure to give xie lian the ferns that did not grow with humans as fertiliser to heal his hand bc he knew he would feel bad about that

18. killed hundreds of ghosts at ban yue pass in seconds before xie lian came down there

19. protected him from the snakes leaving mu qing alone to fight them

20. taught xie lian how to play dice just to hold his hands bc the motherfucker definitely just changed the dice himself

21. he gave xie lian dice that would always bring him to xie lian as long as he wanted to see him

22. when he fought with qianqiu and accidently hurt xie lian he felt so bad

23. eming was crying actual tears

24. he came into the heavenly capital to take xie lian away immediately bc he rolled the dice he gave him and he wanted to see him

25. once he saw how much qianqiu didn’t know about the gilded banquet he took them to qi rong's lair and forced him to tell the whole story so there would be no misunderstandings

26. he built a literal temple in the ghost city for xie lian specifically for the mid autumn festival so he could "make things interesting" for xie lian's "amusement"

27. he lit up 3000 blessings lanterns for xie lian from the temple he made in the ghost city

28. spent billions in gold to get the lanterns

29. *twice*

30. he captured the fetus ghost before xie lian bc he couldn’t let him hurt himself and to do so kissed him in the pretence that they shouldn't have their mouths open

31. brought xie lian back to paradise manor and instantly made him feel so comfortable that he actually let his pain show while removing the needle he'd stepped on

32. he went to puqi village to bring xie lian’s hat back bc he mentioned it while rambling after their first kiss

33. he cleaned puqi shrine and took qi rong out of the house along with the rest of the trash

34. when he saw he xuan come in with qingxuan he threatened him bc he didn't want xie lian involved with the whole thing with he xuan and the wind and water masters

35. got his people to watch over qi rong and lowkey lang ying and guzi and also probably to look after the shrine while they would be away with qingxuan and he xuan

36. when xie lian FINALLY asked for his private communication array password his eyes legit twinkled

37. he purposefully set his password to sth very much embarrassing so that no one but xie lian would dare reach him

38. the only time xie lian actually used it himself was when he was legit imprisoned by jun wu

39. he actually found xie lian's password funny and the poor thing got the validation he wanted for his joke after 800 years of having this password

40. he constantly changed outfits to watch xie lian struggle to keep his eyes off him

41. while qingxuan was in xie lian’s body he wouldn’t hurt him so he punched he xuan into the ground to release his frustration

42. totally sailed across black water's domain with xie lian's dead body in a coffin

43. the worst suffering for him is watching his beloved get trampled and ridiculed which he experienced when xie lian descended and the people turned against him

44. also watched him get stabbed a hundred times

45. and saw him drunk in a graveyard crying and breaking down

46. he thought he hadn't won xie lian over yet but he had even though xie lian himself hadn't realised it yet

47. he made a new donation box for xie lian while shirtless and sweating even though he's a literal ghost and doesn't sweat

48. he pretended to be unconscious even though as mentioned he's a literal ghost just so he could have a laugh and totally freaked out when xie lian attempted to perform cpr *on a literal ghost*

49. proposed to xie lian and for some reason said he was kidding

50. he’d already given xie lian his ring and wore the string of fate (smooth bro)

51. built a coffin to safely cross the sea with xie lian and successfully caused him a boner (erectile dysfunction cured great success)

52. went along with xie lian to the east sea to protect him from black water but still didn't interfere with his choices

53. when xie lian did the soul switch he sucked his power from his body so that he could bring xie lian's soul back and again freaked out when xie lian kissed him to get the powers back

54. he only practices writing with a specific poem that specifically describes the specific feelings he has for xie lian

55. when he lost control of himself he *intensely* kissed xie lian and afterwards he was so worried that he had hurt him

56. he turned into lang ying even though xie lian told him to not be with eachother for now since they would both be busy

57. even though he was with him he sent the litter to carry them

58. had yin yu gather all the ghosts and the clothes while searching for the brocade immortal so that xie lian could work faster

59. he tattooed xie lian's name on his arm but his handwriting is so awful even xie lian himself couldn't tell what was written for the longest time

60. he ignored xie lian telling him to not do all the chores and did them for him while maintaining lang ying's form

61. he refused to change even when it was clear that xie lian had figured it out and was struggling to write whatever he’d asked him

62. he tried to make himself look good when xie lian asked him who is the prettiest, strongest etcetc

63. he was definitely crying tears of joy whenever xie lian picked him up and told him who cute he was

64. he shared his ✨feelings✨ about looking weaker than he is and feeling powerless

65. did not want xie lian to have to protect him but still listened to him and accepted the help

66. went with xie lian to mount tong'lu to protect him and make sure no one messed up with him

67. he told xie lian anything he wanted to know about whatever they encountered at mount tong'lu

68. he changed the bloody rain to red flower petals so he wouldn’t get xie lian wet

69. he brought him under his umbrella and shielded him from the boulders refusing to help anyone else

70. he tied THE FUCKING RED STRING OF FATE to xie lian's finger to make sure the two would always find their way back to each other

71. he quoted a line from the oldest known chinese novella literally meaning "not even death can do us part"

72. he showed xie lian what happened between yin yu and qi ying so he could better understand their situation

73. he was very ok to just hang around inside the mountain and told xie lian that if it was with him he wouldn't mind staying there

74. he heard and comforted xie lian's worries about his guoshi and told him exactly what he needed to hear

75. it later helped xie lian remain calmer when the identity of white no-face was about to be revealed

76. when the rest of their group where being loud he told them to shut the fuck up bc xie lian was sleeping

77. when pei ming was being a little shit and commented on the red string tied on their fingers he covered it with an illusion

78. then he showed it to xie lian who was worried that it was gone completely

79. he said to xie lian: "i know you can’t die, and you’re not afraid to die, but no matter how tough you are, don’t think yourself incapable of getting hurt.”

80. and: “not dying doesn’t mean not getting hurt, and it definitely doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. when you see something strange and dangerous, don’t just touch it. find me. let me take care of it.”

81. when xie lian replied with: “...you too. if there’s something dangerous, you don’t touch, i won’t touch either, alright?” he was downright giddy, giggling, eyes twinkling, hair twirling

82. he built tens of thousands of statues and painted all of his encounters with xie lian throughout the years

83. he also sculpted the two of them boning (my guy was so sexually deprived)

84. he was so so scared when they ended up in the cave bc he didn't want to make xie lian uncomfortable in any way

85. he never wanted to make any kind of move that would frighten xie lian

86. he healed xie lian's frostbite wounds that even xie lian himself hadn't noticed

87. honestly can't separate the moments at this point the man is a ball of affection

88. when xie lian hugged him and showed him that his feelings were reciprocated he said: "your highness, you really will be the death of me." BRO IS LEGIT LIVING IN A SAKUATSU FIC WHAT THE FUCK

89. his eyes would not stop twinkling the whole time xie lian held his hand

90. he was in such a good mood that he didn't even say anything *extremely* insulting to mu qing and feng xin

91. he is just a little bby

92. he loves xie lian so much

93. when xie lian asked him about his ashes he once again said that they were absolutely safe and if the place he kept them was destroyed he wouldn't want to continue existing anyway

94. he basically turned into a ghost for the sole purpose of protecting xie lian and being with him

95. he twirls his little braid and fidgets with the coral pearl from xie lian's earring

96. he KISSED xie lian before they jumped into the kiln and this time without any false pretence of "transferring powers” or performing cpr" *once again on a literal ghost*

97. his spirit stayed in the mortal realm after dying in battle for xie lian and when he saw him told him once again that he will never forget him

98. also referred to xie lian as his beloved

99. also said that he wanted to protect him

100. and that he is his most devoted believer

101. and if his beloved felt bad that he stayed to protect them he would just not tell them

102. very slay of him

103. he was still so young there i-

104. they are the death of me

105. in the form of a literal ball of ghost fire he followed xie lian and did his best to warm him up and protect him even though he couldn't do that in that form

106. when white no-face held him and forced him to stay still while people stabbed xie lian a hundred times he couldn't take it and transformed into a vengeful spirit

107. he found xie lian in yong’an and offered to fight for him again as wu ming

108. while in yong'an he protected xie lian multiple times

109. the best and most beautiful statue of xie lian he built was inside the kiln and ended up being the one that broke xie lian out thanks to the powers he’d transferred to him

110. he continues to give xie lian spiritual powers by sticking his tongue down his throat and xie lian is going for it ofc

111. sent out his people to find the humans xie lian needed for the spiritual array

112. immediately noticed someone extra joined the array and told xie lian to check it out

113. when xie lian had to go to the heavenly capital with jun wu and his guoshi he asked him for a kiss bc staying back to take care of the spirits and the people in the array was just so hard to do without

🎐🍒🔥✨gege✨🔥🍒🎐 at his side

114. when xie lian connected with him through the spiritual communication array he instantly knew sth was wrong bc xie lian would never say his password unless it was an emergency

115. he gave qingxuan spiritual powers to have a way to connect with xie lian and sent help immediately

116. came to the heavenly capital despite knowing that jun wu would find him

117. talked with xie lian's guoshi and even spoke respectfully to him *mostly*

118. he sent he xuan to the array to give qingxuan his fan and transfer powers maybe bc xie lian cares for him or maybe bc he tolerates qingxuan *guess we’ll never know*

119. let's be honest from this point on, even more than the rest, every moment should be added

120. the man is a ball of love

121. he quoted himself while he was evaporating into butterflies because he's just such a poet and a romantic

122. he dies 3 times for xie lian

123. three

124. separate

125. times

126. he came back on the same day they first met

127. he lit another 3000 blessing lanterns for xie lian

128. "they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. this time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace."

129. he turned puqi shrine into a gay monument to xie lian

130. he left an essence of evil inside xie lian *successfuly caused mu qing and feng xin strokes*

131. he asks xie lian to call him 🧧🥟🗡️✨san lang✨🗡️🥟🧧 bc it means husband so xie lian has been calling him his husband all along

132. he got spoiled by xie lian and tried to bone every chance he got *fair*

133. when someone goes to pray to either one of them, for the prayers to be successful they must pray to both of them *together*

134. treated xie lian to yuanxiao and he finally remembered how it tasted after 800 years

135. he was definitely shaking from happiness when the answers to the riddles from the ghosts wrote "my husband is hua cheng" *even though the ghosts didn't know grammar*

136. when xie lian temporarily lost his memories he followed him everywhere to keep an eye on him

137. it's implied that mu qing and feng xin found him to tell him the situation with xie lian and then he went to find him so maybe he trusts them more now

138. he immediately sent yin yu to capture the creature that ate xie lian's memories

139. he loved every second of making fun of him

140. he made xie lian call him 🧧🥟🗡️✨gege✨🗡️🥟🧧

141. you bet his eye was twinkling the whole time

142. eming is used to taking baths with xie lian but when he went to him while he didn't have his memories hua cheng slapped it *save eming*

143. when he got sick he didn't want xie lian to have to take care of him but they talked about it and agreed to let the other take care of them whenever they needed it

144. when the whole fiasco with xie lian’s statues happened they made statues of hua cheng to keep them company

145. he has given up on learning calligraphy since he can just turn xie lian on and he forgets about everything

146. no one is doing it like them

147. hua cheng is insane for all of this

148. and very valid bc xie lian is gorgeous

if anyone made it here here's some tgcf playlists i'm quite proud of

[dcangel]

MY SMUTTY WRITING PROMPTS

I have a shit tone of smut prompts, so feel free to request any numbers for any of following characters: stiles Stilinski, Thomas (TMR), Dave Hodgman, Joel Dawson, Void Stiles, Stuart Twombly, Mitch Rapp, Simon Tarnum, Colin. I literally got pretty much done with this and was abt to post it bc I made the collage at the end and everything AND I FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT COLIN

As you can tell it’s all Dylan’s characters, and these are going to be the main people I write for. I don’t want to write about dylan himself as of right now bc I feel like it’s like sjrkrfk but yeah.

Anyways… there turned out to be 77 total prompts FOR THE SMUT ONES ALONE which is.. yeah

But I do have more than just smut prompts, I have some normal ones and I’ll make another post abt those.

RULES!! Idgaf how old you are as long as your 16+, I only write for fem!readers, and idk what else to add but like the basic rules yk? You can request more than just the prompts such as like sub!reader or sub!character (same for dom), or like maybe a specific kink if I feel comfortable writing for it like a nickname or just something else. You also don’t have to choose from one of these, you could just give me a request, and it also doesn’t even have to be smut. I’m always happy to hear your ideas and randomly thoughts<33

Anywayss…

SMUT PROMPTS—

1. “I want to hear you beg.”

2."Arch your back for me.”

3."You look better with my hands around your neck."

4."Swallow it. All of it."

5."God, you feel so fucking good."

6."Suck on it"

7."You're so fucking hot."

8."Open your legs for me, baby. I wanna see you."

9. “Don’t hold back.”

10. "Ah, fuck.”

11. "That noise...keep making it."

12. "Wrap your legs around my waist."

13. "Let's make this quick."

14. "Don't close your eyes, angel. Look at me"

15. "You're mine."

16. "Such a good little (slut/good boy, good girl), aren't you?"

17. "faster-ah shit-harder”

19. “I wanna go again."

20."I want you. I need you."

21.“Huh...uh...keep going."

22."Wait-uh-do...do that again."

23."Mark me. Mark me so everyone knows who I belong to."

24."Don't be gentle with me-I like it when you're rough."

25."One more time! Please!"

26. "Fuck-uh! I love it when you touch me like that."

26."kiss me again, but- mphh"

27. "lay down, love and let me do you how you deserve it."

28. “You can suck better than that, angel… don’t piss me off, alright?”

29. “Don’t muffle yourself. Let them hear your whiny voice, baby. Everyone should know how good I’m fucking you.”

30. "We'll take it slow."

31. "I've never done this before..” "Well, neither have I."

32."I'll take care of you."

33. "Tell me what you like."

34. "Tell me if it feels good."

35. "We can stop anytime."

36. "Do you trust me?"

37. "I've been wondering what it feels like…”

38. "I think l'm ready (for this/to have sex/...)."

39. "Please be gentle…”

40. "This is going a bit too fast…”

41. “I can’t believe you’re this innocent.”

42. "Makes me want to wreck you."

43. "You've never even touched yourself?"

44. "Show me how you do it when you touch yourself.”

45. "What do you like?" - "I don't know." - "Then how about we find out together?"

46. "It's my first time…”

47. “I can't wait to ruin your innocence"

48. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

49. "It's not a big deal. Let's just get it over with?

50. "I want you to be my first."

51. "I want you to teach me."

52. "Teach me how to make you feel good.”

53. "I wanna touch you too."

54. "Show me how to touch you."

55. "Am I going too fast?"

56. "You're doing so good for me.”

57. "Do that again."

58. "I never thought you could make such sweet noises." - "Me neither. "

59. "It's not scary at all. Let me show you.”

60."I'm worried I won't be good enough."

61. "Is it going to hurt?"

62. "I won't hurt you."

63. "I'm really embarrassed about this...”

64. "No need to worry."

65. "I got you."

66. “Kiss me?”

67. "Will you be my first?"

68. "Will you let me be your first?"

69. "I have no idea how to go about this "

70. "(If you like it), we can go all night."

71. "So (hard/wet) already…?”

72. "Are you sure this is your first time?"

73. "What do you want me to do?"

74. "Is this okay?"

75. "Does it feel good?”

76. "Tell me what to do."

77. "I'll guide you."