#literally all i ever do is win
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I already knew before listening to it about lucille valentine saying she thought paige and hayward had weird sex in the tsv q&a. absolutely no surprise there the good people of tumblr dot com have been sure to inform me of this also it's not like she wasn't saying this on twitter months ago. what no one informed me of was that immediately after she said this jon ware would chime in with "that almost happened canonically it was in an early draft of a season 3 episode". i almost fell out of my chair
#the silt verses#ifer rambles#head in hands#lucille also said their relationship transcended romance but they still fucked sometimes#literally all i ever do is win
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Everytime I think about Obi-Wan and Anakin itâs like- I donât ship them so much as I think they should be together at all times. I think tcw had a point, actually, and the two of them should just. Always be together. I think Anakin is Obi-Wanâs hope in an increasingly difficult life and I think Obi-Wan is Anakinâs tie to humanity when he most feels like a monster. They are intrinsically combined, from the very first movie where Obi-Wan dies at Vaderâs hands with a peaceful expression.
Itâs Obi-Wan begging Luke not to see Anakin in Vader while Vader searches Luke to see some sign of Obi-Wan. Itâs Obi-Wan calling Anakin another pathetic lifeform to Obi-Wan being unable to process the idea of Anakin being anything but good. Itâs Anakin awkwardly (adorably) shaking Obi-Wanâs hand to Anakin awkwardly (adorably) bringing up Obi-Wan during conversations with the woman he wants to seduce.
Itâs Obi-Wan knowing how to fix Artoo and Obi-Wan teasing Anakin about Artoo. Itâs Anakinâs first thought on losing his lightsaber being âObi-Wanâs going to be mad at me againâ and Anakin laughing when Obi-Wan tells him to drive better.
The prequel trilogy is so fascinating because my favourite parts are always Anakin and Obi-Wan. The parts I think about the most often are those parts with Anakin and Obi-Wan. The relationship between these two drives the entirety of the plot of the prequels, to the point that the literal birth mother of the main characters of the original trilogy is all but forgotten in the third movie.
Itâs. Obi-Wan spending years watching over Luke because Luke reminds him of Anakin, never approaching because what if Luke really does turn out to be like AnakinâŚ?
Itâs Vader assuming that Obi-Wan taught Luke to fight, because who else could teach a Skywalker?
Itâs Obi-Wan accepting all the blame for the people he knew best, the people who were basically his family, all dying.
Itâs Vader keeping Obi-Wanâs lightsaber in a parallel to Obi-Wan keeping Anakinâs.
They are just. Mutually Obsessed. Obi-Wan held up Anakin and said âthis is my whole personality nowâ and Anakin responded with âneato, same.â They bicker like an old married couple. Anakin canât imagine even thinking about leaving Obi-Wan behind. Obi-Wan tells Anakin point-blank that heâs a good Jedi who deserves to be a Master.
I ship them because like. The universe? Does?? They are destined to be by each other, in life and in death. They support and sustain each other. There was probably eepy Force magic stuff that made Anakin into a Force ghost because Obi-Wan wanted him to be one.
How else can I explain it? They were made for each other. Like. Literally. They should never be separated. Look what happened when they did separate in universe. They are a nuclear bomb. They have to stay together or the galaxy gets the worst of it, and thatâs just canon, somehow.
#the inane ramblings of a madman#star wars#anakin skywalker#darth vader#obi wan kenobi#obikin#vaderwan#long post#every time i see someone say the ship is unhealthy#all i can think is#âand their platonic relationship is healthy???â#they are the most married couple to ever suffer a bitter divorce#rotj is the custody battle of luke and leia#and obi wan only wins because they get remarried#like come ON#this is beyond soul mates#this is like#legitimately impressive#âthese two love womenâ oh and those women arenât at all like each other??#obi wan doesnât fall for the literal opposite of a jedi who pisses him off constantly?#anakin doesnât fall for a diplomatic expert at making people do what they want who calms him down?#i donât even know what to say anymore#theyâre absolutely batshit and i love them
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RoyJamieKeeley social media manager always hyping up bi4bi4bi RoyJamieKeeley IKTR!! happy bi visibility day to them but even more importantly happy bi visibility day to ME
#I love being a rjk I keep winning đ#also rip to the people being mad about s3 all over the comments and quotes do you guys EVER shut up#I literally do not care that they werenât confirmed in the show they can still be confirmed in our hearts welcome JOY into your LIFE ohmygo#ted lasso#royjamiekeeley
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(1, 2, 3 LET'S GO BITCH!) stay here, honey, i don't want to share
delicate â taylor swift
( hey queen here yet againnn y'all know the drill , chat : @drivestraight , eat them alive . this is propaganda !! go read it!! )
#HANDSOME YOURE A MANSION WITH A VIEW DO THE GIRLS BACK HOME TOUCH YOU LIKE I DO?#are you ever dreaming of mee sometimes when i look into your eyess i pretend your mine all the damn time........#IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN!!!#I CANT STOP WINNING!#time: 2hr 40 min#gonna try n start doing that just for personal use lol#but yeah petition to make delicate the eta anthem#the gallery#oscbull#maxcar#oscar piastri#max verstappen#mv33#op81#f1 fanart#f1#formula 1#again i am. so sorry for the constant oscbull it has literally infected my brain in of course the best way
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đľ you led me to a bright day we're good as gold if we just stay zinc of all the things we'd do in my chemical romance with you đľ
#doom patrol#doompatroledit#dcedit#rjs*: new#pelase pelaselakjfalsdkjflaskdjfoiawje#all i've ever wanted#is this a fever dream literally yes do i care no bc it was actually real!#this musical number??? actually award winning
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HELP! I've fallen down a Bering and Wells hole again and can't stop watching fanvids. I misssssss them!!! đ˘
#I'm also thinking about a platonic Pete & Myka soulmate AU and all the bickering that would come with it#Like Pete trying to feel out what the rules are for him dating someone if she and him are soulmates#and Myka's like 'I literally never want to talk about who you have sex with ever'#âBut-â / âNOPE! Just do whatever you want Pete!â#And then later as joke (but delivered completely seriously) she says she wants full approval of any serious relationship he has#And she'll be the one planning the proposal for him#(No no no! That's not happening.)#Actually! She might just play matchmaker for him too because she's not sure she can trust his judgement#... or his ability to make a good first impression.#âYou wanted my input remember?â / âNot like that!â#And then even LATER when she meets Amanda for the first time she's like 'Wow that's your ex-wife? Man you really fucked up there."#âYeah thanks for that Myka. That's very helpful.â#âNo chance of winning her back?â#âWinning back my ex-wife who's about to be remarried? No I think that ship has sailed.â#âYeah.... My ex girlfriend is a hologram now so at least this is a step up from that.â#âI never agreed to HG being your girlfriend.â#â.... Yeah but I wanted to.â#â.... Okay this is getting way too gloomy for a wedding day. We need to stuff ourselves with cake.â#Warehouse 13#Myka Bering#Pete Lattimer#Helena Wells#Bering and Wells#my fic#(I guess accidentally in the tags lol)#(idk I'm tired man. My head is all over the place today :P)
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you are my sunshine, my only sunshine
you make me happy when skies are gray
(prompt fill for @mcspirkevents' mcspirk bingo prompt "gone with the wind".)
static frames below:
ouch! neck deep in aos bones feels rn... lmk if i should make a fix-it or somethin
#yeah so yesterday i said id try not to get distracted.. Guess how well that went LMAO#SORRY BONES hes going thru it in this one but literally this is all aos canon. aos is so mean to him and for what#not a single drop of closure... tos bones would flip shit if he found out. Thats the real reason why bones prime never shows up in aos#YEAH BTW PLEASE LOOK AT THE STATIC FRAMES PROCREATE HAS A ASTRONOMIC GRUDGE AGAINST THE 3RD SLIDE FOR SOME REASON#it would NOT stop crunching that one single GODDAMN FRAME in the gif. like full on colour blowout. like WHAT DID IT EVER DO TO YOU#YEAH SO I HAD TO SCREENSHOT IT AND PUT THAT IN THE GIF. EXCEPT MY IPAD SCREENSHOTS THINGS WEIRD. so its CONSPICUOUSLY BRIGHT#the 3rd and 4th frames are meant to have the same background color. every time i watch the gif i am filled with unimaginable rage#WHAT DID THAT FRAME EVER DO TO MY IPAD. what unforgivable crimes did it ever commit to be disrespected like this#ok rant over tags now :))#star trek#star trek aos#star trek fanart#mcspirk bingo#mcspirk#mcspirk fanart#spones#mckirk#spirk#star trek alternate original series#aos#spones fanart#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#spock#jim kirk#did not use a single ref so the fact that the uniforms are reasonably legible as aos is a win (not like i use refs for anything else lol)#spirk is holding hands in that last frame!! gay people moment#OH AND I DID THIS IN LIKE. AROUND 3 HOURS? ive been meaning to draw that first frame for ages now so YIPPEEEEE#i did have a different caption in mind tho. Guess ill redraw it in the future LMAO#dust medibang paints
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Fuckin. The reason Owen has asthma is literally because his real self is buried alive suffocating and his mom is the one who reminds him to bring his inhaler when heâs a kid and next time we see her sheâs sick and then sheâs dead and when Owen watches the finale heâs wheezing and projectile vomiting and his dad springs into action to drown him further and when itâs the final act his lips are severely chapped from overuse of the inhaler and he keeps trying to inhale from it but itâs not working and he just keeps wheezing loudly keeps trying to make this all work he knows why it isnât heâs dying sheâs DYING he ends the movie apologizing to everyone and still wheezing
#i saw the tv glow#the way its a truman show situation but a trans metaphor instead its like oooogh you fucking bastards you use my favorite movie#to make another movie that is also becoming my favorite#just the way everyone is working to keep owen in denial and every time they fail they get killed off#and the way that his coworkers at the movie theater are literally marco and polo the moon demons#also i gotta say imo the realest scene in the movie is when owen is there with his coworkers and theyre just like laughing the whole time#laughing about the idea of owen liking the sex scene he walked in on laughing at the idea of someone like him having sex#like his very existence is hilarious and the way owen literally isnt saying or doing anything at all yet they just keep laughing#and theyre like hey look at my eyes when i talk to you why dont you ever look at me#ITS TOO REAL this is literally what 90% of my life has been like god#being mocked and you dont know why youre not doing anything youre intentionally not feeling anything yet its still wrong#theres no winning#also the mom being like âi just want to make sure youre on the right pathâ and owen spits into the blue cotton candy#everyone is doing everything they possibly can to keep him in denial but he keeps coughing it up man
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Sepang 2006: After an exhausting race, Valentino Rossi brings a chair to the podium and sits down. Loris Capirossi joins him to sit on his lap.
#brr brr#//#lc65#going through my notes for that vale race rec post and I was gonna include some of these screenshots#but actually there's screenshots I want to include from parc fermĂŠ too because I think they're cute so. this gets its separate post#if you're wondering how that rec list is going btw I've currently got over eighty races listed I don't want to talk about it#this race deserves a lot more love tbh. one of the 2006 races nobody would ever shut up about if he'd won the title#but they don't suddenly stop being good races just because they ended up being in vain!! he was amazing to watch in 2006#two bits of context that really make this:#1) vale/loris were engaged in battle the whole race and vale overtook on the final lap before engaging in some?? uh. robust defence#which I feel like at least a few riders would at the very least have been mildly miffed at but!! not capirossi not with valentino#2) dani had like?? a deep cut in his knee and it was surprising he'd been able to ride let alone get a podium#you'll note he's the only guy standing while these two are doing their thing. another big win for empathy#one commentator is saying literally right after they stand up again that dani had gained the respect of his fellow riders that day#and you kind of feel like if they took his suffering THAT seriously they maybe wouldn't do all that but well!! anyway#alien tag
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Itâs so crazy how the democrats keep shooting themselves in the foot by trying to appeal to right wing voters who are already probably going to vote for Trump . Like ohhghhgh we canât say we care about lgbt people or anything like that or else we wont be able to get any republicans to switch to our side meanwhile most of the people I know in real life are registered democrats who donât even care to vote this year because they know Kamala wonât do jack shit to help anyone and everything she does and says just drives home the point that she is essentially a republican candidate in blue paint . Sheâs just splitting a little bit of the conservative vote to her side while losing half of the potential voters on the left like itâs so over
#like Iâm literally embarrassed to say that I am voting for her . bc she is such a piece of shitđ but I donât know what else to do#this is one of the worst campaigns Iâve ever witnessed like it is nonsensical self sabotage#all you have to do is say that you will protect our rights and not hand over money/weapons for Israel to kill innocent brown families with .#and you would probably win#how can you justify not doing that .
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the nature of being a johnny lawrence fan, is that it is often indistinguishable from being a johnny lawrence hater, and I don't think I have that with any other character. usually I'm very protective of my faves (including in cobra kai, daniel, sam, kreese, and tsilver), but johnny, I very much enjoy reading all the reasons people dislike his character, nodding along like "yeah what an inconsistent mess, you're so right, carmen pls u deserve better narrative to work with, terry silver was telling the truth when he mocked his fatherhood abilities, but alas the writing will never support it"
#johnny lawrence fans đ¤ johnny lawrence haters -- wtf is going on with johnny lawrence's character in s5????????#johnny lawrence#cobra kai#ck#i can write miles of text about the queercoding of johnny lawrence#and also about how terribly inconsistent the writing for him is due to a sexist notion that he must be a Badass#actually i think johnny lawrence is one of the most interesting case studies of this phenomenon#obvs most famously archetyped by dean winchester -- but i think jlaw is even More That#1. literal 80s character so all these people read him through a particular nostalgia lens#2. in a show that is possibly Thee most trope-filled nostalgia show i have ever seen be that way Accidentally#(riverdale was doing it on purpose -- stranger things... yeah maybe but i think cobra kai is even more on the nose actually)#3. played by quite a sensitive actor actually who deeply cares about the nuance of the character#which appears to be at constant war with the intentions of the narrative he has to appear in#4. and like. the writers Know about the queercoding because they've interacted with fans (nicely actually)#but they have literally no idea what to do with it but ALSO have lampshaded it occasionally#it's... it's fascinating....#they want so badly for him to win but they're going about it the wrong way -- the narrative continues to be circular/an inward spiral#nothing has changed except for the reactions of other characters#jlaw must remain static because of our nostalgia but also be important to the story somehow#the Tension of it all is personally delicious to me but man is it frustrating as well
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*sigh*. So. 3x03 right. "You rigged this table so that no matter what plate Monty was under, he would drop down from under it just as your contestant made their choice!" and how that works with the game motif in 4x10, "Ugh, again? Remind me how this 'game' is supposed to convince me I'm not destined to turn into an evil demon monkey thing again!? Cause every option I pick takes me to this same screen!" "Hey you're finally getting it! No matter what options it's giving you, you're always gonna end up in the same spot." And it's like, losing being inevitable, the game being rigged, the only option being to find a different choice, yet still "every choice has consequencesâfor someone." Overall I just kinda feel like this:
#I hate game motif I hatteeee herrrrr#LMK stop having thematically relevant games challenge (impossible) (super hard) (unachievable) (hopeless)#Actually all of 3x03 hurts me#MK *LITERALLY* wagering his friends to win (and for more power)#Like okay. Okay sure#Okay#uhuhhuhuhuhuhuh#''There's no way I can lose if my friends are on the line!''#Oh okay. This is terrible this sucks#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk rant#lmk game motif#God like of course. OF COURSE MK get's one of his powers back in s3 by playing a rigged game#Of course he fucking does#Because fuck me and fuck everything#I also hate exchange theme did you know that#whatever#''you don't want to fight Azure cause people might get hurtâyou don't want to not fight Azure cause people might get hurtâ#so do something else! Only you can decide who you are kiddo.''#Okay but who is MK did you ever think about that#Did you consider that question#''I just want to be me. To be MK!'' ''Yeah well. We all know exactly where that leads don't we.''#Like god whatever#Sorry I remembered. LMK is a surreal experience#it's a lego breakdowwwnnnn da da daaa do. da da da do dooo#these tags are illegible and that's okay
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every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space
i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !
#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post#like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide#which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone#> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won#i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare#and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that#but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it#so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything#if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again#i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable#i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people#like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation#again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good#person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make#>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be#when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be#im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry
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I'm really sorry you and your sister are dealing with that
(no pressure to publish this, not that there should ever be pressure to publish an ask if you don't want to, of course, but just wanted to say I hope you're doing okay)
Ah, thank you, anon, it's okay. It's been a while now (court moves slooow), but we're getting hopefully close to the end. She filed in Family Court December 2022, and we've had about five interim hearings with final trial (finally) scheduled over four days next month, so fingers crossed! But yeah, it's been A Time. He's financially and emotionally abusive against my sister, and both those things as well as medically negligent against their children (who are only six and eight and both have special needs), so it's been....rough. To say the least.
But on a lighter note, have one of my new favourite photos I took of my nephews at the jellyfish enclosure at the aquarium last month!
#i DO feel like i have an honourary family law degree at this point haha#and i think i've got at least three different creative projects that are coming out of it because the levels of insight#you develop#is just#yes#wow#A Lot#i hhaaaated the idea when i was younger that you became a better writer as you get older#like i think i genuinely did have this mindset like age has nothing to do with talent#and i kind of do still think that#i think there are young writers who are wildly good#but it's also impossible to articulate the absolute wilderness that is humanity that you get deeper into as you age#that makes me sound a hundred lmao i'm 33#but i think in particular there's this pivot point when the people you love start to have families of their own with people who are#so removed from your way of being#and sometimes that's amazing and sometimes that's awful#and what comes out in the wash of that is just a perfect mix of generational trauma AND generational enabling#privilege and expectation and mindsets around familial roles#and the sudden and horrible reveal that you have had children with a man who will be diagnosed a destructive narcissist#and who will reject the idea of your children having disabilities because how could he - a perfect man - father children with disabilities#and will turn all that loathing onto a woman he once said he loved because he decides she is the defective one who gave him broken children#which is literally how he thinks#it's soooo#yeah#anyway my sister is amazing and my nephews are perfect#and honestly it's been special in a lot of ways because y'know i'm a middle child she's my big sister#and we've had a tumultuous relationship over the years but this has honestly made us closer than we've ever been in our lives#and i'm proud of that but i'm really proud of the relationship i have with those little boys#and i think need hope we're going to win and she'll be able to move herself and the boys here even as the odds are stacked against us SO#i WILL also be calling on the universe / heavens / everyone's good vibes next month
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ovo whispers menacingly abt his grandstanding .
#(you can grandstand and be impulsive and prone to violence and have a terrible temper without being arrogant thanks)#(the closest he ever gets to saying he's above anyone else is w/ the jotuns if you really squint at it and he only ever said-)#(- that he wanted to use /force/ aka /violence/ to get them to submit to his rule bc otherwise he views them as DANGEROUS)#(based not only on historical /fact/ but cultural differences boogeymanning and seeing firsthand how they-)#(-MURDERED SOME OF HIS PEOPLE???? AND BROKE INTO HIS HOME???? ON CORONATION DAY????)#(he doesn't act like heimdall or the warriors or sif or even loki is below him. he wouldn't /ask them/ for permission otherwise)#(he even asks the humans-he-just-met for permission a la jane and then respects their decisions and apologizes for being rude abt the mug)#(and the one time he says 'know your place' to loki is when loki is actively bUTTING INTO A CONVERSATION that thor is being ridiculous abou#(bc to thor it's about /winning/ the argument with laufey and he's totally losing track of his goal to try and figure out wtf the jotuns)#(were doing ///in asgard inside the palace IN THE VAULT on CORONATION DAY///.)#(arrogance is specifically thinking you are inherently better than anyone else bc you exist)#(thor very clearly demonstrates selfish desires that translate to poorly thought out deeds)#(eg: taking it directly to laufey instead of trying to take a step back and figure it out in OTHER WAYS before a direct confrontation)#(and he also demonstrates overblown self-confidence.)#(eg the âi have no plans to die todayâ / ânone do.â)#(that's being overconfident in his own abilities that's still not arrogance.)#( ooc . ) â stories that leap from the page .#( salt to taste . ) â in this house we love the actual main character . crazy i know .#tbd#(thor expresses boastfulness and pride similarly to his whole culture of over-exaggerating ur war stories)#(his vice is letting that vanity get to his head and fueling increasingly impulsive and stubborn decisions)#(out of the sheer and desperate desire to prove he's good enough to take up such a heavy mantle as the crown of asgard + nine realms)#(but he doesn't just look at other people and go 'oh yeah i'm so totally better than you just because i exist')#(he's also not a lightning mcqueen who actually DOES see himself above the rustees cars and the route 66 cars)#(goes out of his way to make that abundantly clear and wants actually nothing to do with any of them in pursuit of his own gains)#(only to finally figure out he's not all hot shit and slows tf down to understand and enjoy life as part of society not above it)#(he literally flies of the handle because he fully believes the jotunar actually plotted an entire elaborate scheme)#(SPECIFICALLY in the effort to exploit him as the green thumb weak link as Newly Instated King who Doesn't Know What He's Doing)#(And therefore will OBVIOUSLY do a terrible job because he's not odin and can never be odin but he /needs/ to be like odin bc odin is stron#(HE doesn't know it was loki's plan. he doesn't know it was /loki/ who timed it to the coronation.)
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something invokes the carnal rage in me when a grown man rages like a two-year old over a video game
#it makes me think of the mothers trying to act like theyre defusing an already blown up bomb and it's literally just#idk#it just gives me the ick im srry the moment i hear one 'me' entitled statement and it's not like#clearly burnt out 'i kinda know im being ironic' ventong#venting LMAO#and just genuine sorrow for urself#over a Digital Game#i just cant srry#maybe it's my youngest to an older brother who everyone gets the ages flipped around Not just from looks but actual Acting#syndrome#and of course context plays a part too like if u have a stressful af job and just wanted to rewind? understandable. id be pissed too#but mfers who just Sit there and continue to stink the whole room up is like. ok. get some air or smthin#i do Not fuck around with throwing or damaging expensive shit ESPECIALLY if u did not pay for it#idk im naturally good at video games i think only bcs i only had access to old one that were way above my age audience#so i had to develop a sense of patterning not just to have competition but to just play the game at all#but still i have gotten frustrated at games bcs everyone gets frustrated at smthing#but usually now. at my grown age. (even tho i Rarely ever game anymore bcs i cant rlly so anything not active in my mind#bcs of Guilt and Constant Dread of Judgement)#when i find myself getting frustrated it's bcs im purposefully either playing a harder level/mode/with better ppl so i can advance#and the advancing is just not happening#i acknowledge that and accept not every difficulty can be passed at one time or at all sometimes in my limited time/care so i just either#Shut it Off. or go back down to a pace i know can just be carefree#i DO have a thing where i Need to end on a win. which is not good bcs i do that with everythin (like sports) in order to justify me quittin#but if i have to get out of the rlly competitive lobby to get my dopamine then i will bcs this is meant to give u that#anyways it's just insane. ted complains abt superfocus while being superfocused himself on the concept of superfocus#the neverending story#DO anything not active** idk it's my fear of death maybe that i disease myself with everything needing a purpose when it comes to gain
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