#literally a fucking square dog what do you want

[raykarr]

blooe

[blondwhxrewrites]

what about mattheo with a werewolf s/o? Like imagine being like all worked up and horny before a full moon and having angry pre-transformation sex with him

(I’m actually in love with this man)

You tell him your a werewolf, and the first thing he asks is, 'So does that mean we are like considered as mates or some shit?'

By the way he already knew, because my boy is EXTREMELY observant. He just never told you because he wanted you to be ready to tell him. When he figured it out he immediately sat his ass down at the library and read every single book on werewolves he could find.

He's doing everything he can to support you

He isn't at all afraid of you and dude would square up with werewolf you with no hesitation because he has no sense of self preservation

(also I'm adding my own werewolf system because fuck JK Rowling imma do this my own way 😤)

He finds out that werewolves won't hurt the people that they consider 'mates' or a part of their 'pack', and he is taking full advantage of that. 

He sees your werewolf form for the first time and it's literally just a giant wolf and he's standing there like 🧍while you're just wagging your tail all happy because OH MY GOD ITS YOUR MATE 🥰

You have a little spot in the dark forest where you transform and he'll come and visit you.

You bring him the corpses of the animals you hunt and he'll just awkwardly pat your head, and praise your hunting skills

https://pin.it/fEKdLztSL

(this link is an accurate representation of what werewolves look like because ain't no way am I gonna let them be that ugly shit from the prisoner of Azkaban)

You get extremely clingy and possessive the days before a full moon. It's not just towards Mattheo, it's towards your friends too because your senses see them as your 'pack' and you gotta protect them and make sure they are okay

You literally growl at people

Person: GET YOUR FUCKING DOG BITCH

Mattheo: She don't bite

You: *Growls*

Person: YES SHE DO

You also get extremely horny and Mattheo lives for it

You wanna fuck? Mattheo is down and ready to be used 🫡

He is your man slut

You get aggressive during the act and end up biting him on the neck and shoulders and he is wearing those marks proudly. He's strutting around Hogwarts proudly marked as yours 💅

During those days before the full moon, he will be your subby little manwhore

Anything for his princess 🤷

You wanna suck his dick and call him a good boy? He's melting into a puddle of goo. He becomes all blushy and shy because he loves being praised 🤭

Eating your pussy like a man starved.

Please sit on his face and suffocate him (:

You wanna ride him? Bros staring at you in awe while he watches your ass bounce up and down on his cock in reverse cowboy.

My boy is just along for the ride 😁

[not-neverland06]

Crash of Worlds

Previous part / Next part

Cooper Howard x fem!reader, The Ghoul x fem!reader A/N: After this there’s gonna be more canon divergence - this one’s short (rope divider done by @saradika-graphics , cowboy hat/revolvers done by @firefly-graphics) Summary: You’d been expecting everything to be different, people, to be different. But not like this. Not to such an extreme extent. Maybe the vault had softened you more than you’d have liked but there was nothing to do about it now.

The green canopy of the forest provides a welcome relief from the heat. You and Lucy follow the signs pointing the way to Filly. You hear it before you ever get to see it. There’s a distant sound of yelling and the murmur of people. It has your heart clenching in your chest. 

You’re outside, breathing in real air, not oxygen from tanks. You can feel the breeze in your hair and hear people. It’s all you wanted for three years. Bud prepared you for a lot. But he didn’t prepare you for just how jarring it is to wake up and suddenly everything you’ve ever known is gone. You don’t feel the years you’ve been asleep. It was like it happened yesterday. 

But you’ve had three years to come to peace with what had happened. You can’t let yourself get wrapped up in this feeling of nostalgia. The raiders that came down to the vault were proof enough that the people you’re going to meet up here aren’t going to be anywhere near friendly. You know this world has turned into dog-eat-dog, Lucy doesn’t yet, though. 

She walks towards a large grove of abandoned cars. The paint has flaked off and the glass smashed in, but they’re not in horrible condition for being two hundred odd years old. You're distracted by the convertible she stands next to and you gasp. 

You rush forward, hand smoothing over the hood and grinning at the familiar feel. “I-”

You cut yourself off abruptly and Lucy looks over at you, a curious smile on her face. “What is it?”

You shake your head, “Nothing. Just excited to see civilization again.” You give her a terse smile, hoping she doesn’t smell the lie. You’d almost said that it was exactly like your old car. But that would have opened up a can of worms you weren’t ready for. 

She groans, linking her arm through yours and nodding. “I know, me too. The surface is definitely not what I was expecting.”

You sigh, glancing back at the car before stepping towards Filly. “Yeah, me either.” 

The noise reaches a crescendo as you finally manage to make your way into the market. There’s still signs directing you further through the woods so you figure this must not be Filly yet. Probably just a little place where people tried to peddle junk. 

A man lurches out at you holding out a kebab and grinning widely. “DOG MEAT!” You jump back in shock as he screams in your face. His eyes are unseeing as he waves the kebab around. “GET YOUR DOGMEAT HERE!” 

“Oh, what the fuck?” You mutter, you didn’t mean dog-eat-dog literally. You notice you and Lucy getting odd looks and you finally realize just how much the two of you stand out. In comparison, you're both well groomed and much cleaner than anyone here. 

Not only that but you’ve got the stupid Pip-Boy’s on your arm and vault suits on. You’re walking advertisements of “Come rob me!” You steer Lucy further through the market, narrowly avoiding a lizard meat stall and dragging her towards a tunnel at the end of the path. Filly’s just beyond and you shove her through the opening, eager to get somewhere where you might be able to find something useful. 

You seperate with the promise to meet back up in the middle of the town square. You’re going to look for something to change into and she’ll find some information on her father. Should be easy enough. 

He’s not supposed to be here. He’d gotten himself and all of his kind banned a long time ago. An impressive feat, considering how lawless Filly is. But no one’s going to say anything to him, no one ever has before. 

Any other ghoul and they would have been dragged right back out before they could even put a foot through the tunnel. But he’s not any ghoul, he’s the ghoul. And no one in their right mind is going to be the one to start a fight they’ve got no fucking hope of winning. 

He rolls the empty vial of RadAway around in his hand, hat tipped down as he waits for his mark to show up. Ma June, cantankerous old bitch that she is, always has good supplies. But she doesn’t sell to ghouls, and if he didn’t need her alive right now he would have shot her for turning him away. She’s a well known fence for fugitives and bounties. If his mark is going to show up anywhere, it’s going to be right here. 

Most of the people who try their hand at bounty hunting do it for the experience. They get bored, not that he can fucking blame them. After a while staring at nothing but sand and chickens makes a man go a little crazy. They don’t understand that it’s all a waiting game. 

Sometimes it’s an exhilarating chase, like a predator tracking down its prey. But more often than not he’s just waiting for a slip up. A mistake from whoever has a price on their head is usually what lands them in his hands. And the second this man decided to use Ma June as a transport was when he made his mistake. Everyone knows that Barv can’t keep her mouth shut for shit. 

When someone decides Ma June can help them, everyone knows where they are. It’s a big bounty, enough to keep anyone with a normal life cycle sated for the rest of their life. For him, it’s all about the hunt. The wait, that look in their eyes when they realize they're trapped and there’s nowhere left for them to turn. He loves it when he’s got them cornered. 

There’s a desperation to them that makes the capture all the more sweeter.  

There’s two bright flashes of blue against the otherwise dreary countenance of Filly. He doesn’t look up much, still trying not to draw too much attention to himself. He sees one, brown hair and wide eyed as she takes in the sights. Fucking vaulties. 

It’s been a while since he’s taken one of their bounties. Their tech was pretty valuable among surface dwellers and when one was spotted, which was rare, there was usually a good price on their head. He can only catch the back of the other one, her face blocked by a conveniently placed support beam next to him. 

She stops by the clothing stall, waving her friend along and speaking to the woman who runs the booth. Good fucking luck to her. There was no haggling with that woman and her prices were fucking ridiculous. He wonders how long it will be until he sees those two on the poster in some bar somewhere. He’s sure when the time comes, he’ll enjoy taking them too. 

His gaze goes back to Ma June’s shop, interest already waned in the rare vault dweller. They were never all that fun. Never had any good information and always had a stick up their ass about morals and being a “good” person. 

Finally, his mark turns up. Blind to the danger lurking behind him. 

You’re in a really shitty spot when the fighting starts. You’re overwhelmed by everything around you. Freaks in wacky ass clothes peddling their mutated animals and fucking teeth. Teeth. 

Teeth and bottle caps, that’s the currency now. Who decided that bottle caps were a good idea? Or teeth for that matter. You’ve only got so many of them. You don’t even want to think about what they’re getting used for.

The woman in front of you only has four of her own left and she’s demanding three of yours for a shirt. You’re not well versed in the economy of the wasteland, but even you’re sure that three teeth is a ridiculous ask. From the way people keep glaring at you as they walk by, you’re sure that she thinks because you’re from a vault you’re going to be gullible. 

You’re too caught up in your quickly escalating argument to realize what’s happening until it’s too late. A man stands in the center of the square, his back to you. You can tell from your view that he’s pretty badly burned, the skin around his neck and skull warped and twisted. 

He’s yelling about a bounty and your head tilts in confusion. There’s something to the lilt of that accent that sounds familiar. You take a step forward, abandoning the clothing stall and trying to place how you know him. It’s impossible, really, that anyone recognizable would still be alive. But maybe someone else got out of a vault and made it to the surface. If they did, it clearly wasn’t unscathed. 

It’s only when he pulls out his gun that you realize Lucy is standing in front of him, with the man that bothered her last night. You want to call out her name, try and catch her eye, but the last thing you need is him pointing that gun at you. You jump back in shock as he shoots the man’s foot off, eyes widening, and feet scrambling backwards. 

The woman in the clothing stall hisses, “Fucking ghoul,” and makes a run for it. You watch her go, finally realizing just how empty the square is now. Everyone has left, all of them terrified by the man in black. Your eyes dart between him and the stall. 

She’s gone, and you need clothes. You’ll deal with Lucy’s scolding later. You leap over the counter of the stall and begin to rifle through the woman’s stock. Stuffing any spare clothes you think will fit into your pack and just because she was such a horrid bitch, you steal her bag of caps too. 

The crazy old lady by the shop screams out a reward for anyone who manages to kill the man in front of you. When the guns start going off you realize just how screwed you are. You’re in the middle of the town square. Granted, you are blocked by the clothing stall, but these bullets they’re using aren’t ordinary. 

They’re getting holes blown clean through their chest and the buildings around them are damn near exploding from the impact. The measly little wooden stall isn’t going to be any sort of decent cover against them. 

You risk another look over the counter, hoping to find a clear path to Lucy or at least some better cover. He’s finally turned around now and you can get a half decent glance at his side profile. There’s nothing truly recognizable about him, just familiar. It’s hard to really tell anything about him when he doesn’t have a nose. 

You watch with wide eyes and a disbelieving expression as he takes three shots to the chest like it’s nothing. He keeps chewing on his tomatoes and slowly finding cover to reload. A ghoul. Hank and Betty had told you and the other’s about them. People poisoned by radiation. 

Most of them turn feral, but those who can find the right chems live a lot longer than any normal human should. They heal nearly immediately and are almost invulnerable to anything except their own disease. Considering how quick on the draw this guy is, no one has any real hope of taking him down. 

With the shooting redirected you leap out from behind the counter and rush towards the shop. But something stops you before you reach the door. You don’t know what it is, what connects in your brain that has you so harshly coming to a stop. 

You whirl around, ignoring the way Lucy calls out your name. He’s back out from his cover now. He aims, grinning and laughing as he manages to get two people with one bullet. Carnage is all around you. Blood flying through the air, surrounded by blood and guts. The relatively peaceful downtown has been littered with dead. 

And in the middle of it all stands him. You have to be wrong. There’s no fucking way he’s standing in front of you. You take a step forward and his head whips towards you. The rest of him isn’t recognizable, but you would know those eyes anywhere. 

His eyes widen with surprise and you feel your gut drop to your feet. This can’t be him. There’s no way. He’s slaughtering these people like it’s nothing. The man you knew could never be so casual about this. Then again, the relationship you’d had was built on lies. Maybe you’d never really known him. 

Before you can process the anger in his face you’re being jerked to the side. Lucy pants as she drags you into the shop and you look over your shoulder, shocked to find a bullet where you’d just been standing. You catch his eye, see the smoke coming from the barrel of his gun and realize he’d tried to fucking shoot you.

Shit, maybe it is him. He had always had a bad temper and a good aim. 

You can feel his eyes, tracking you even as you disappear behind the walls of the shop. You and Lucy risk a peek out of the shop when you hear something like an explosion. You gape as a power suit lands in front of him. What twisted ass blast to the past have you just been sent to?

How the fuck was Cooper Howard, ghoulified, and a power suit both in the same area? 

You had to be dreaming. There was no way this was happening. But it was, and whoever was in charge of that suit had no idea what they were doing. He’s ducking under their swinging metal arms, taunting them and drawing out the fight. He could end this now, you both know where the weakness is. 

Hell, you could end this fight right now. But you don’t see the need to kill the Knight when it’s clear he’s trying to protect you and Lucy. “We need to get him,” Lucy points frantically to the man on the ground. He’s not really moving, just clutching the bloody nub where his foot used to be and looking astonished at the blood around him. 

“This is really stupid,” you hiss as you both start forward and wrap an arm around one of his own. You don’t have much time to process what happens next. 

“Watch out!” The knight barrels towards you both. He wraps his arms around Lucy and goes flying into a building. You jump back at the explosion of wood and metal flying down around you. The ghoul has his gun pointed at them both. He’d clearly been trying to snipe you both, get you away from the man on the ground. 

Well, he could fucking have him. You drop the man to the ground and he grunts as you make a run for it. A coward’s move, the same one you admonished Norm for. But, you’re a fucking hypocrite, so what? Right now, you’d really just like to survive this gun fight unscathed. 

Something lands near your foot and you jump, realizing it’s a bullet. You glance up and the ghoul is laughing at you, full on belly laughing as he shoots around you. You realize with a start that he’s playing with you. Taunting you like a man who’s got all the time in the world. But you can’t stop running. If you stop, those bullets are going to catch up with you. 

You keep going, legs pumping and heart racing as you’re separated more and more from Lucy. The mission, the whole reason you came up to the surface, is lost on you. You can only focus on one thing, surviving. You keep running, through alleyways and around buildings until you’re back in the woods. The whole time his laughter is following you. 

The sharp noise of something whistling through the air reaches your ears and then something snaps against you. You glance down, only a moment to process the rope over your arms before he’s dragging you back. Your head hits the ground with a harsh snap, the motion slamming your teeth together and nearly biting off the tip of your tongue. 

You groan in dazed pain and then he’s slowly dragging you back. One sharp tug after another, rocks ripping at your suit and scalp, hair ripped out underneath your back. Until, finally, he’s peering over you, face upside down and lips twisted up into a strained smile. 

“Well, there you are, sweetheart.”

end. — I do not own the characters or the game/show Fallout, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[s-4pphics]

dial. 2 (e.w.)

wc;cw: 5.3K, fratadjacent!ellie, she has community dick, all ocs r black coded <3, mentions of psychs(shrooms), weed, alcohol, fun parties, dubcon they’re faded, LIGHT SMUT MDNI LEMME COOK YALL, dirty talk, fingering, ellie ain’t shit, stone tops r hot, smidge of angst bc it’s me n i hate joy

playlist :p

You woke up alone. 

When you reached over on Ellie’s side and felt nothing but a folded pillow, your eyes shot open. You ignored the pounding of your head and peered over at Ellie’s bedside alarm clock. It was almost noon, and you were starving. 

You instantly sat up when you heard Ellie’s laughter coming from the living room alongside a high-pitched voice rambling about last night. You threw the hot blankets off your sweaty form and dressed quickly, tossing your shredded stockings in Ellie’s small garbage. 

You pried Ellie’s door open and made your way into the packed living room, the soccer boys stretching and putting in eye drops while Niah snored on the couch. Ellie was standing by the open front door, her body leaning against the frame as she nodded and spoke to… the same girl from last night! 

“El, I literally couldn’t fucking move! I thought I was gonna fuckin’ die if I did anything!” 

Ellie shook her head with a bright smile, waving two candy-bars in her hand, “That’s fucking crazy, damn. Don’t try that shit with these, you’ll be off your ass. Eat half a fucking square and see how you feel.” 

“I will,” the girl took her bars and handed Ellie a stack of bills, “Trip with me after finals?” 

Your heart stuttered in your chest at her suggestive tone, and it shattered when Ellie reciprocated. 

Her head tilted and her tone quieted, “You can handle all that at once?” 

“All what?” The girl eased closer into Ellie’s space, and one of the soccer players’ dog whistled. Ellie leaned down to whisper into the girl’s ear, and she huffed and pushed her away playfully. She departed with a flirty bye, El, and Ellie returned it just as lowly. You should’ve stayed asleep. 

Ellie shut the door softly and shoved her bills into her sports bra, and you fled to her room before she could see you. You shut the door softly and pressed your ear up against the white wood. 

One of the soccer players crossed his arms over his chest, impressed, “Fuuuck, dude, how the fuck do you pull like that?”

“… I know how to eat pussy. Ask her when she’s up,” she said with a scoff. 

“Don’t needa ask, I heard. Dick,” your face burned with embarrassment. 

Ellie’s boisterous laughter shook the apartment. You could hear her sock-covered feet padding on the floor as she inched closer to the door. You moved back to her mirror when her knob twisted and pretended to fix your tangled hair. 

Ellie waltzed in and shut the door behind her. 

“Hey,” you croaked, trying to sound as casual as possible. Don’t look at her!

“‘Sup,” she barely acknowledged. You flinched. You could see her rummaging around her room, shoving her earnings into a small shoe box on her nightstand. 

Your gaze dropped to a random smudge on her mirror, “Um, Ellie?” 

“Hm?” Ouch. 

“… Do you like cupcakes?” you squeaked nervously. 

“… Yes?” 

“Really?” You twirled with a grin on your face, your arms giddily waving around in the air. “Me’n Niah always make cupcakes on Wednesday in the West Wing! Did you know they just upgraded their toaster oven?! We’re making some for Dina and Jesse but they only like vanilla like boring losers. I personally like red velvet, but we can make any flavor you want!” 

You rambled joyfully, eager to hear her flavor preference. She seemed like a strawberry person! Or German chocolate—

“Vanilla’s fine.” 

She answered plainly, and your spirit dropped. You didn’t allow your disappointment to show on your face too much, your arms falling limp at your sides. 

Your efforts failed when she shut you down, “I don’t mean to be rude, but I really need… t’get ready and stuff.” 

You shook your head incessantly, “No, no, I get it! I, um… I needa get Niah up anyway.”

Ellie nodded and stared at you blankly. She didn’t say anything else after that, impulsively reorganizing her little piggy bank. Sadness churned in your gut, your smile dropping as you clenched your fists.  

“S-See you Wednesday?” 

“… Yup.” 

You gave her a stiff nod and spun towards the door. You left as quickly as you could, shutting it harder than you should’ve. Tears built in your eyes against your will; Dina told you Ellie was aloof and a bit awkward, but she always seemed so comfortable around all your friends. You tried to justify her behavior since you were strangers, but it’s been weeks, and she’s been inside you! She never bothered to ask anything about you when you first met, even though you desperately wanted to know everything about her. You were starting to question if she even knew your name. 

That familiar feeling from years ago was coming over you in the middle of your friend’s hallway, and you instantly felt nauseous. You prayed you would never experience something like that again; You moved fucking cities because of it, for gods sake! Maybe you were just too overbearing, too naive. Too… uppity for some people. 

You’re a lot to handle! Not everyone is built for that. That’s just something you’re gonna have to understand at some point. 

You knew Niah would cause a scene if she saw you upset, so you wiped your tears with your itchy sleeves and forced your insecurities down despite their desire to crumble you, making your way over to your best friend’s laid out form. You crouched and gently shook her awake. 

“Ni. Ni, wake up,” your voice wouldn't stop cracking!

She choked and coughed awake; Her cotton mouth must be deadly! She smacked her lips together as her eyes tore open, dry as ever. 

“Hi,” you whispered, “We gotta go. It’s almost noon.” 

You had to pry Niah off Jesse and Ellie’s sofa, but you were able to get her out the door eventually. With her little goodie bags! You closed the entrance to their apartment and began your walk down the hallway. 

You ignored the tears in your heart when you heard their front door lock; Ellie didn’t even want to see you out. 

… Were you really that bad? 

You said nothing the entire Uber ride back to the dorms. Niah fell asleep on your shoulder, and you cried silently, watching the white of winter pass you by. 

Class was fucking killing you. 

You were exhausted and filled notebooks were practically overflowing out of your book bag; You were shocked that students’ bodies weren’t scattered across the quad. The first term was always the worst. 

At least it was Cupcake Day! You couldn’t wait for Niah to pick you up. 

“Order for Kayla!” 

You were currently waiting on the chai latte Ellie was making, her back turned to you and she mixed your hot drink. You definitely weren’t here to secretly watch as she frothed cream in her cute, little Starbucks hat! Not at all! 

She placed the lid on your drink and locked eyes with you. She didn’t call your name out, only sliding you the steaming cup with a quiet enjoy, spinning to return to her station before you could thank her. 

You sighed and grabbed the steaming cup from the serving counter, snagging a seat farthest away from the coffee station. You sipped and waited with a crestfallen spirit, listening to the way Ellie’s voice lifted when she called out other peoples’ names. You wished you knew what you did wrong. 

You concluded and accepted the fact that simply Ellie didn’t like you. 

Outside of sex, obviously. 

You thought baking would distract you from the graying of your heart, but it only darkened as you iced the cooled desserts. 

“Taste this. Is it too sweet?” 

You turned and met Niah’s manicured finger covered in cream cheese frosting. You tasted it and instantly cringed as your tastebuds were overtaken by icing sugar. You were definitely getting older; Younger you would’ve told her to add two more cups of the soft power! 

“Fuck,” she sighed and grabbed another pack of cream cheese from the small counter. “If you don’t like it, it must be trash.” 

“… Yeah.” 

She laughed lightly, “What the fuck? You’re not gonna coddle me?” 

You only shrugged and continued to swirl chocolate frosting on the remaining cakes. 

Niah wasn’t having it, “Bro are you good? You barely said shit to me all day.” 

You shrugged and dolloped more of the better batch of icing on the cake, “I’m fine, class just sucked today.” 

And Ellie hates me!

“Talk to me,” you saw her set her piping bag down near the cooling tray. 

You lied, “Nothing to talk about. You know I hate my cognitive science class.” 

Niah only hummed, and you know she’s only dropping the conversation for your sake. You would come to her when you were ready and less distraught by embarrassment. 

You two finished in rigid silence. You made a small baggie full of cupcakes for Ellie like you did Jesse and Dina, making sure to add extra chocolate sprinkles next to the E fondant placed on her small desserts. You hoped she would accept the peace offering. 

Your throat was so dry. 

You tapped your foot mindlessly against the floor as you and Niah waited for Jesse to open the door, gift bags scrunched in your jittery hands. You hoped you and Ellie could talk. Please be home!

The door ripped open, and Jesse greeted you. 

“WHAT DAY IS IT!” 

“IT’S CUPCAKE DAY!” you and Niah shouted, holding up the filled decorative bags. 

He hugged you both before allowing you entry, Dina already sat at the small dining table set with cute China plates and a tea kettle. There was no sign of Ellie; The excitement in your shoulders dropped. 

You set the sweet treats on the table and took a seat across Dina, Niah next to you. Jesse grabbed the steaming kettle and filled your cups up while Dina ripped the bags open. 

“Greedy ass. Have some couth,” Niah scolded Dina playfully. 

You jumped in with a sneaky smile, “Yeah, Dee, where’s your manners!” 

“ME?!” she dropped the bag in shock, “I know you’re not talking!” 

Your jaw dropped when she pointed an accusatory finger at you, “What’d I do!” 

“Oh, now you’re confused! You two kept us up all night, why d’you think we slept so long after that party!” 

Your face burned at the insinuation as Jesse and Niah snickered off to the side. Dina dug in the bag in search of her embroidered cupcake, shaking her head, “It’s silent now! Crazy.” 

“She’s on your head,” Niah laughed out. Jesse sipped his tea like Kermit. 

“… I hate all of you! Gimme my fucking cupcake!” 

Dina passed you the bag after snagging hers and Jesse’s, and you snatched your wrapped dessert from the now crumpled bag with a pout. Ellie’s cupcakes were left at the bottom of the bag still in perfect condition. At least they were pretty. 

Dina, Jesse, and Niah migrated to the couch after you volunteered to tidy up the kitchen. Dina offered to help, but you shooed her away. She immediately grabbed Ellie’s bong off the little coffee table and packed it for the three of them. You knew their pothead asses wanted to smoke!

You were wiping the crumby table down with a wet wipe when your phone vibrated in your pocket. 

Your heart sped up in your chest at the message. Has she been here the whole time! Why didn’t she greet you! Your thumbs flew over your keyboard at the speed of light. 

She answered instantly, and your core spasmed. 

You gazed up to check on your friends, happy to see that they were paying you no mind! You probably looked insane standing in the kitchen with no air in your lungs. 

Why were you this tempted to walk into her room and ride her into the sunset? 

Your heart sank when you didn’t receive a text after that. Did you make her mad? Did she not want her cupcakes anymore? 

You sighed and put your phone back in your jean pocket, finishing the nearly clean table. You leaned over it to get the little spots you missed. 

“Hey, housewife,” she said quietly, pinching your ass like she always does. 

Ellie’s raspy tone vibrated your eardrums, and you nearly dropped to your knees at the nickname. Her hair was down, and she had on grey fucking sweatpants. You would be her stay-at-home wife any day of the week! Iron her clothes, change her sheets, let her bend you over the counter while you’re cooking her dinner—

You peered at her over your shoulder, “Hi.” 

Your cracked mumble made her smirk, “Those mine?” 

Her head jerked towards the folded goodie bag, and you nodded, still bent over the table. She peered down at your ass before pulling out a seat. 

“Sit with me.” 

… An actual invitation that didn’t involve proposals to eat your ass?! Were you two actually getting somewhere? 

You yanked your chair out and plopped in it, excitingly sliding the goodie bag towards her so she could pull her cupcakes out. You propped your head up with a grin and watched as she unwrapped the dessert, taking a slow lick of the sloppy icing job. She held eye contact with you with each pass of her tongue, and your eyes filled with hearts. 

“Tastes good,” she mumbled before biting into the dessert. 

“It’s not too sweet?” You sounded love struck. 

She shook her head with a sly grin, “No such thing.” 

… Why was she so fucking sexy! 

“You coming on Friday?” she said around another bite. 

Please make me cum on Friday! 

“Yes,” your heart fluttered when she mumbled cool. “D’you know what you’re gonna wear?” 

“Not yet. I might make a fucking homemade reindeer shirt or something, I’m broke,” she tossed the last bit of cake into her mouth and licked her fingers. 

“I bet that’d look so cool! You’re so talented!” You beamed. You remembered viewing some of Ellie’s sketches that were hung on her wall and bed frame before she drilled you into her mattress. You always thought her depictions of Pokémon characters were so cute! 

You saw her eyes widen before she looked down at the table, “Thanks.” 

Her face was red, and her eyes didn’t meet yours… Was she blushing? 

The moment was ruined, though. She hopped up from her seat before you could say anything else, quietly thanking you for the cupcakes. She scurried back to her room after throwing Niah a stiff see ya, slamming her door shut. 

Everyone turned to look at you with confused stares, and all you could do was shrug sheepishly, your heart saddening. What did you say that was so embarrassing; She is talented! 

Ellie was so interesting. 

Your study seshes with Niah were flying by. You swore your eyeballs were going to fall out if you stared at one more note sheet. 

How was Niah able to smoke and not take at the same time! 

Your last class of the week was finished, and you zoomed back to your dorm to get ready for tonight. This was one of the last parties of the semester and you wanted to impress! 

You didn’t get out of the library until seven. The sun was starting to set, and you were nowhere near ready! You already had your outfit: a purple glow-in-the-dark Santa’s hat and your matching faux fur mini dress, but you needed an hour and a half for your hair, at the bare minimum! Niah needed to hurry up and finish her project meeting so she could help you pick shoes! What the fuck goes with purple anyway?

You stripped and showered quickly. You were in the middle of detangling your hair when Niah burst through the door with her books in hand. 

“Fuck these professors bruh! They never give us this much work to do during the fucking semester and now we’re doing twelve fucking assignments at goddamn once five days before the year ends! I’m sick of this bullshit— “

You hyperfocused on perfecting your part, “Bitch, I don’t care about that! What color goes with purple best? Should I wear white or black shoes! What the fuck do I do?!” 

Niah kicked her boots off and tossed her books on her dresser in the middle of her rant, already stripping down, “Mind you, I’m paired with two fucking idiots! How am I supposed to explain two-dimensional kinematics to somebody who— “

“NIAH!” 

“WHAT!” 

“… Take a deep breath through your no— “

“I’m not having a fuckin’ panic attack, relax. Wear white shoes,” she huffed before grabbing her pen out of her shoebox stash. You needed one of those for your liquor bottles! 

Niah snagged your speaker before rushing in the bathroom to shower. Blow drying your hair was going to be a fucking pain! 

After finishing your hair and taking five spaced out shots over the next three hours, you and Niah were off into the night. You don’t know how you were trucking it so fast towards the Uber; You almost broke your damn ankle when you practiced walking earlier! Snapchat was already blowing up with people at the soccer house. And the music actually sounded good! 

You slurrily asked your Uber if you could aux for the drive, in which he confusedly replied if the oxe could what? Niah laughed uncontrollably the entire ride. She always did love getting older Uber drivers! 

The deeper you drove into the neighborhood, the more packed it was, people in sparkly, short dresses and more ugly Christmas sweaters. They were all hooting and laughing down the block, and it took everything in you to not rip the car door open and hop out to mingle! 

The Uber parked in front of the white, four-floored home. You and Niah thanked him before jumping out and brushing past the lengthy line; You loved having friends in high places! Dina texted saying she’d be waiting for both of you by the door. 

“Dina!” you shouted over the loud, bustling crowd. You waved at her when she saw you, grabbing your hand to pull you and Niah through the packed porch. 

The soccer house was dimly lit with red and green LED lights and the walls were covered in Christmas socks and ornaments. They even had a blow-up snowman to take pictures with! She pulled you and your roommate into a bone-crushing hug and kissed your cheeks before pulling you deeper inside, making sure to keep you close so you wouldn’t get lost in the crowd. 

She paused at the counter and grabbed the bottle of vodka, untwisting the cap and handing it to Niah. She wasted no time in downing a large gulp before passing it to you to do the same. You scowled at the taste and Dina laughed, wrapping her arm around your shoulders to lead you and Niah into the kitchen. The soccer team were timing each other’s shotguns, and by the blank look on Jesse’s face, he must be losing. 

The players hugged you and Niah politely before Jesse pulled you in a tight hug. He shouted over the blaring speakers, “I’m getting cooked!” 

A laugh escaped you as he shook his head and hugged Niah. She pulled her phone out of her bra and stared at you, waiting for you to answer her message. 

You smiled and nodded, grabbing Dina’s hand to pull her onto the dance floor. Ellie hadn’t passed your mind once. 

In all your years of being the trip-sitter and designated driver, you’ve never lost your friends in a crowd. You always prided yourself on being the most reliable person to party with! 

So how did you end up losing your two friends, taking six more shots, and grinding on a random girl who was showing your neck a little too much love? You had no idea how long it’s been since Niah took Dina to the bathroom, the girl was hot, and you’re a slut! You gladly accepted the attention! 

You were sipping from the bottle like you paid for it while grinding on whoever the fuck was grabbing your hips. Were you a bad person if you imagined Ellie was the one doing it? You hoped not. 

Your head fell back on the girl’s shoulders, the fuzzies from her sweater tickling your neck as you moved against her, pushing your hips back on her front. You peered down at her… veiny hands, holy fuck, watching her watch glisten under the faint lights in the room. 

Your arm came around her neck to pull her closer, her lips moving against your ear. 

“Wanna go smoke?” she mumbled in against your skin over the 8O8s, and you nodded as fast as your neck would allow. 

You pulled away from her and brushed past dozens of heads until you reached the back patio. You pried the door open in your haze and stepped outside, almost slipping on a rock like an idiot. 

Your heart, nor your pussy was prepared to see Ellie and her friends seated on lounge chairs passing blunts around. Your drunk brain was sloppily telling you that something bad was going to happen! The loose strands of her hair were pulled back with little snowman clips, and she drew her own reindeer with a marijuana leaf behind it on a plain t-shirt. 

You pulled your phone out to make it seem like you didn’t notice her, your screen filled with texts from Niah and Ellie. 

Fuck, fuck! 

You felt an arm wrap around your waist to guide you to a seat. Right across from Ellie. You’re fucked, you’re fucked!

You were pulled into the girl’s lap… You swore she told you her name, but you don’t remember! Ellie’s staring right at you! Why were her friends so fucking hot? The girl was massaging your hip and making sure your dress was pulled down enough, oh fuck—

Your eyes moved before your brain could stop them, meeting Ellie’s searing gaze as she gauged you, taking in your exposed thighs like she wanted to rip you to shreds. Hotly. She held your stare while she brought the roach between her lips and pulled from it, inhaling the sphere-shaped carbon before exhaling slowly. 

The hammering in your ears wouldn’t stop. You had no idea what Ellie’s friends were laughing at, but she wasn’t laughing with them. Her eyes flickered from yours to the person behind you that was rolling up; Her jaw was clenched tight, and her brows were slightly furrowed. 

… The fuck was happening right now. 

The hot girl under you passed you the packed blunt, “Spark this for me?” 

You jumped at the whisper. You nodded and took the lighter, flicking it and bringing the flame to the end of the blunt, rotating so it could catch evenly. 

“You can hit it first,” you stared into the girl’s… pretty eyes. Shit. 

You pulled from the blunt before passing it back to her, exhaling the carbon over your shoulder so it wouldn’t hit her face. 

Ellie hadn’t moved from her position on the chair, but she was stiff, and her face was tense. You have never seen her like this before! 

She leaned forward to stub the roach out on the table before standing. And walking towards you. And staring you down, fuck, you’re going to die! 

“Mind if I borrow her for a sec?” 

She held your gaze as she spoke, but it wasn’t directed at you. Smoke escaped from behind you. 

“… Why?” 

“Needa talk to her, Abby. About Dina,” she finally looked behind you and at the girl. Why’d you feel faint? Said girl—Abby squeezed your hip and your walls jerked. 

“… Okay,” she looked weirded out by Ellie’s tone, but her expression eased when she looked at you. “Come find me when you’re done?” 

You mumbled sure and Ellie scoffed, grabbing your wrist, and yanking you out of Abby’s lap. She led you through the jumping crowd and up the stairs, her hold on your arm getting stronger with each step. 

She led you down a hallway before reaching up on the door sill and retrieving a key, unlocking the door, and leading you in. 

She shut and locked the door behind you, tossing the key on the bed behind you. Ellie looked so deep in thought. 

It was silent. Ellie was biting her nails. 

…

…

…

“I like your shirt.” 

You wanted to slap yourself! No one fucking cares! Something’s obviously bothering her!

“… Is Dina okay?” Ellie only nodded, and you followed. 

“Um, great…” 

You looked around the room; It had a bunch of women from sports magazines plastered on the wall and the bed wasn’t made with clothes scattered all over the floor. It wasn’t a complete pigsty. That’s a plus, right? 

Ellie stealthy crept up behind you, her hands gently caressing your shoulders before sliding down your arms. She leaned forward so her head rested on your shoulder, her breath tickling your ear when she spoke. 

“You’re so fuckin’ hot.” 

You gasped harshly at her voice, and you felt her smile. Her slippery hands hooked under the hem of your dress and slowly slid it up, her nails grazing against your skin. You couldn’t stop shuddering. 

“Remember when I asked somebody to fuck you with me?” She kissed your shoulder gently and you melted. She never treated you so softly! You nodded. 

Your dress sat around your waist and your pussy dripped into your panties, your breath heavy when she whispered, “That was her. Think she’s gotta little crush on you.” 

“R-Really?” 

“Mhm. You like that?” She inched your panties down your thighs. 

“I-I dunno—“ She was massaging your tits that were spilling out of your dress and you couldn’t breathe. 

“You don’t know?” Her voice had a harsh bite to it, and all you could do was shake your head. You don’t know what to do, what to say—

“So, if I hit her up right now to tell her to come fuck you with me, you’d say no?” Her hand cupped your pussy, her palm digging into your clit. You hand came to rest atop hers to lessen the gap. Her slender fingers reached down and scooped some slick to bring back up to your clit. She rubbed you in slow circles and lapped at your neck, sucking more marks into your skin. You dug your nails into her wrist. 

“I-I— “

“You what? Wanna fuck my friends? Want them t’pass you around and give you back to me?” She spat, and you moaned at the imagery. Her friends were so fucking hot!

… Give you back to her? What does she mean?! You’re about to flatline if she keeps touching you like this! 

“Ellie, fuck— “

“Yeah? I treat this pussy good?” Her fingers sped up on your clit, forcing more juices out of your cunt. You squeezed around nothing, and your head fell back on her shoulder, whining at the ceiling as your orgasm grew in your tummy. 

“So good, Ellie, fuck yes!” 

“Uh huh, bend over, angel,” you listened and kicked your heels off before laying over the corner of the mussed bed, your hat flying off in the process. 

“Put that back on,” she muttered. 

“Hm?” you threw over your shoulder. She looked so sexy right now, what the fuck. 

“Your hat, s’cute. Put it back on.” 

You swore your heart grew wings. You sloppily threw it over your head and her fingers slid inside you. Your walls stretched to accompany her digits, and your head dropped onto the covers. The ring on her index finger was pressed against the entrance of your cunt the deeper she slid, and you squealed when her pace quickened. 

Your orgasm rose much quicker than you would’ve liked. You never wanted Ellie to stop touching you! You want her close, close, close—

“Missed this angel cunt, my fucking god.” 

“M’close, El, please, fuck! —“

“Yeah? Like when do what I fuckin’ want?” 

“Yes! Yesyesyesyes—“ Your walls were strangling her. 

“Who’s pussy is this,” she sounded so gross, like she already knew your answer. 

“E-Ellie’s pussy,” She hits it so good! 

“So cum for me, baby.” 

You did, you did, you did! 

You would’ve hit the floor if she wasn’t there. Her free arm wrapped around your waist to hold you up. You could hear her laughing as your legs shook and your cunt choked the fuck out of her, moans of her name muffled by the blanket that your face was shoved into. 

“Atta girl, feels nice?” She cooed at you as her pace slowed. You whined in agreement while your clit twitched in aftershock. 

She kissed the bottom of your spine before helping you into the mattress to recover. You heard her phone go off. 

“C’mon, put your shoes on. Dina’s ready to go.” 

… She expects you to walk?! 

Ellie slipped off somewhere after leaving you with Dina and Niah, saying that she had something to take care of before leaving. The party was still live!

And Jesse was fucking sloshed! He could barely stand up without his teammates supporting him. 

Your arms were thrown around Niah’s neck while you sweetheart danced to Future. She gets so smiley when she’s faded; It’s adorable! 

“Where’d your girl go?” she yelled over the music. 

You blushed and smiled, “I dunno! She said give her a minute!” 

Niah nodded and whispered in Dina’s ear, and Dina gave her a thumbs up. 

“Come pee with me right quick!” 

You agreed and followed her through the crowd again — the one downside to great parties: you can barely fucking move! You reached the dimly lit hallway and thanked god that the line wasn’t long. 

Until Niah grabbed your arm to stop you in your tracks. 

You flinched and furrowed your brows at her, “What’s the matter?” 

“Uh, nothing!” She looked around frantically, “Let’s just use the one upstairs!” 

“… Why?! The line isn’t even long,” You nudged her off you playfully and pointed at the three girls standing by the bathroom door. She stopped you again. 

“Bro I can wait til we get home. C’mon—“ She shook her head at you. 

But you brushed past her, “Stop being weird! It’ll take two seco— “

Your heart plummeted from your chest to the floor when you saw Ellie with her hand up shroom-bar-girl’s skin-tight dress, her tongue sliding over hers in a deep kiss. Shroom-bar-girl looked like she was about to explode, and Ellie smirked, her lips moving over hers like she was talking her through it. 

Tears jerked in your eyes at the sight, your fists clenching, painted nails digging into your palms. But you couldn’t look away. 

Niah grabbed your hand and yanked you away from the disastrous scene, trekking back through the crowd— can they fucking move! — and out onto the porch. You wiped your tears roughly when Dina approached with a concerned look, but Niah brushed her off, saying you’ll tell her in the morning. 

Niah hugged you while you cried silently, the both of you waiting in the freezing cold for the Uber. 

You and Ellie were never official, but you couldn’t ignore the fiery pain that sliced through you like a blade. 

After all this time, did people still find you this disposable?

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BACK ON MY ELLIE SHIT BIG PUR

if theres a typo no theres not

taggie waggies luh yall @dyk3ang3l @iced-metal @sawaagyapong @kittnii @mariefilms @villainousbear @pick-me-up-im-scared @dragonasflowercrown @elsmissingfingers @bugaboodarling @freakumfilm @robinismywifee @ohitsjordynn @womenofarcane @inf3ct3dd @nil-eena @kaispaws @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @yuckyfucky @machetegirl109 @ximtiredx @mattm1964

teaser, 1, 3, four

[hannahbarberra162]

Squace of Hearts

18+ MDNI

on Ao3 Part 2

(I found this image on Facebook, I can't find who made the collage).

For my Ace loving Nonnies. Thank you for 100 followers! This was supposed to be a one shot but...it's a two shot. Fluff and smut.

Synopsis: You run into your childhood friend, Ace, at a bar on some nameless island. You remember him being cute, but nothing like this. Sparks fly between you (literally) as you rekindle your childhood crushes.

(I know there is a portal fruit already. This one is a little different.)

~~~

“Come on, Squace. I taught you to cheat better than that,” you said with a purr as you leaned your forearm against the top of the wooden chair in front of you. A man with an orange cowboy hat perched on top of shaggy black hair paused as if frozen.

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!” yelled Twin-Blade immediately, throwing all his cards in the air. The other Whitebeard Commanders sitting at the round wooden table didn’t seem as fussed. 

“How could you not know it yoi? Ace isn’t good at cheating, we just let him because it doesn’t help him win anyway,” replied The Phoenix calmly.  Meanwhile, the man sitting in the chair you were leaning on whipped his head around, eyes wide.

“Is it really you?” he said, standing up and turning around to get a look. Squace looked like the little boy you’d left behind on Dawn Island, but had clearly grown into a man. And what a man.

“In the flesh,” you said with a wink. Ace grinned widely and hugged you, picking you up and swinging you in a circle. You laughed as he swung you, it was so nice to see him after all these years. He set you on the ground and looked you up and down.

“You look great!” You laughed again and gave him a grin.

“You’re not looking so bad yourself there, cowboy,” you said as you flicked the brim of his hat. Ace smiled as he blushed at your compliment. And there he was, the boy that you’d had to leave behind all those years ago. You’d never forget that face.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us to this beauty?” Twin-Blade had evidently relaxed since his outburst and was flashing you a toothy smile. 

“Oh, right. This is Dreamy. We grew up together on Dawn Island.” You laughed again.

“Aww, no one’s called me that in a long time, I missed it. But I guess you probably haven’t been called ‘Squace’ either.”

“Come, sit with us for a moment,” requested Izo. “I have so many questions about how all this happened,” he said, gesturing to Ace as a whole.

“Don’t want to interrupt your card game,” you said with a twinkle in your eye. 

“C’mon, we haven’t seen each other in years. I wanna catch up,” Ace pleaded with those puppy dog eyes you’d never been able to say no to.

“If you insist,” you said, grabbing an empty chair and hauling it to the table at which they were seated. You sat next to Ace, so close your thighs were almost touching. You knew Ace, of course, but the rest you only knew by their wanted posters. 

“So, you two grew up in the same town yoi?” The Phoenix asked. You and Ace exchanged a look.

“Not exactly. I lived way up in the mountains, Ace lived a little closer to the town.” 

“Then how did you meet if you were living so far apart?” You smirked at Ace, ready to tell the childhood story. He tried shaking his head to stop you.

“Dreamy, don’t. It’s embarrassing,” Ace whined. 

“I must, I must! I caught Ace spying on me when I was bathing in the river. So I broke his nose,” you said, reminiscing. The other men at the table laughed uproariously, while Ace turned as red as the beads around his neck.  

“I mean, I set it for him afterwards. He didn’t complain about it too much either. After that, we were thick as thieves. Right, Squace?” You patted Ace’s cheek affectionately, and he leaned into your touch. You weren’t going to embarrass him too much but a little ribbing was always fun.

“Why do you call him Squace?” Izo asked curiously.

“Ah, because his forehead is almost perfectly square. So square plus Ace, you get Squace.” His friends laughed heartily, Twin-Blade even with some tears in his eyes. Ace groaned.

“Then why does he call you Dreamy?” The Phoenix asked with a sly look. You had a feeling he already knew.

“Because I was the dreamiest girl he’d ever seen in his whole life ,” you said with a smile, putting your palms under your chin, your hands framing your face like a flower.

“All right, all right, enough with the kid stuff,” Ace said, still red as a tomato. 

“I’m just teasing you. I missed you a lot,” you told him in a sweet tone. “I’ve been keeping up with you, I have a copy of all your bounty posters. I got worried when I stopped seeing the Spade pirates, but it seems you’ve found your place,” you said gesturing around the table.

“Oh, sorry. Let me introduce everyone. This is Thatch, Izo, and Marco. We’re all Whitebeard Commanders.” Ace looked proud of himself and his friends. He had a right to be, it was incredibly impressive. They inclined their heads at you and waved as Ace said their names. Good looking buncha pirates, you thought. 

“Pleased to meetcha,” you said, saluting them with a finger. You’d been working on the Grand Line for years, but you’d never run into Whitebeard Commanders before. 

“Do you really have all my posters?” Ace asked, flabbergasted.

“Mm-hmm. In my best waterproof trunk for safekeeping. I take ‘em off the walls as soon as they’re updated, only taking the best copies. By the way, I saw Luffy’s starting to make a name for himself.” You weren’t as close with Luffy, Ace hadn’t brought him up the mountain that many times. Still, you kept the kid’s posters too. 

Ace beamed with pride, “yeah, he’s left Dawn Island too.”

“Does he still want to be -”

“The King of the Pirates,” you and Ace finished the sentence together. Even though you’d only met Luffy a handful of times, he’d mentioned his dream…a lot. 

“You’ve gotta tell us more about Ace as a kid,” Thatch begged. 

“Nah, that’s long behind us, I wanna hear about life with Whitebeard . ” You didn’t want to embarrass Ace too much in front of his crewmates. You did have quite a few Ace stories up your sleeve, but you didn’t want to injure his pride. Ace puffed up as he told you about how he was the Second Division Commander, how he’d tried to kill Whitebeard for 100 days, how he’d met Red Haired Shanks and thanked him for saving Luffy’s life, how he’d gotten his devil fruit on Sixis along with a first mate, and many other tales of adventure. He didn’t mention how attractive he’d become, how his lean muscles moved when he shifted, or how his adorable freckles made you want to kiss him all over his face. 

Your cheeks hurt from so much smiling and laughing at his tales. Now you were seeing the other side of Ace you’d missed. As he told his stories, he had swagger, confidence, charm, and humor. It was easy to see why people liked him and how he’d risen to prominence so young, he was effortlessly charismatic. Even when you were kids, you knew he’d do something great with his life. You didn’t have as much confidence about your own path. As he talked about his current life, you noticed all the other Commanders egging him on to tell more and more stories. They obviously cared for him and supported him. You were happy for Ace - he had a hard childhood, born under an unlucky star. He seemed to have found a new family to love him, which he deserved in spades. 

“But what about you?” Ace asked, “what have you been up to? Are you on a pirate crew?”

“Can’t you tell I’m a Marine?” you said sarcastically, gesturing to your outfit. You were wearing a very short dress, tall ass-kicking boots and had a knife strapped to your thigh. “No, I’m just joking. I tried the pirate thing. It wasn’t for me. I’m a mover.”

“A mover? What does that mean?” Ace asked, tilting his head like a puppy. He was so goddamn cute, you wanted to eat him up. You remembered him being a good looking kid, but nothing like this. 

“Just what I said. I move stuff. For a price.” 

“Like, you pick up couches and pianos and stuff?” 

“Something like that,” you replied cryptically. You were building anticipation, but you wanted to show off a little for Ace. Ace looked at you with just as much admiration as he always had and it did something to you. You’d missed the feeling of being someone’s crush and you wanted to relive it.

“You look smaller than you were at 15. How do you move heavy things?” Ace asked, looking you up and down. You absolutely loved it when he gave as good as he got.

“Oi! I’m not smaller! You just got bigger! And besides, like this,” you said, bringing your hands out in front of you. You turned your right and left hands one after the other, like you were twisting a doorknob. A blue portal opened under a beer that had just been set in front of Thatch. The full glass fell into the portal, coming out from an orange portal you’d opened right in front of you. You grabbed the beer before it smashed onto the table, and took a sip. Ace’s mouth was hanging open. You gently closed it for him with your palm. The other Commanders were looking with sharp interest. 

“I ate the move-move no Mi,” you explained. “It allows me to, well, move things. I can open a blue portal and anything that goes through it comes out the orange one. It’s handy. So I made a business where I move large or difficult things, for a high price. That’s what I do.” Well, that was one of the things you did. 

You could see Ace bubbling with questions. You looked at him indulgently, and said “go ahead, ask.” You answered question after question about your devil fruit from both him and his friends. How big could you make the portals (no size limit, but the larger the portal the more energy it took to operate), how much could you fit through the portal (no limit, but it did come out the other side the same size), can you move people (yes, including yourself), how far can you cast the portals (as far as you can see with your naked eye), and was there anything between the portals (no, they were directly connected, no space in between them). You showed off a few tricks, having your hand come out of the table, taking Marco’s glasses off his face and putting them on your own without getting up, simple things like that. After a long while you had enough, you didn’t like talking about yourself all that much. Besides, you had work to do the next day.

“Alright, alright. Listen, Ace, I’ve gotta go now but I’d love to catch up more. How long are you on this island?” 

“Coupla days, I think. Are you staying here for a few as well? Can we meet up for dinner? Here? At 6? Tomorrow?” His voice was going up in pitch the more questions he asked. He was so flustered, you couldn’t help but smile. And tease him just a little more.

“Mmhmm, that’s what’s nice about working for myself. I can leave - or not - when I want. See you tomorrow, cowboy,” you said, kissing his cheek and sauntering away. Ace blushed again. So goddamn cute.

~~~

Ace POV

Ace, along with most of the bar patrons, watched your hips swish out the doors of the bar. He hung his head. “Alright, have at it,” he grunted. He knew he was due for a large amount of teasing from his brothers. 

“Nah, that’d be no fun. First crushes are a sacred thing, man.” Thatch clapped Ace on the shoulder. “Everyone remembers the first person who set their heart aflame,” Thatch said wistfully, grabbing at his chest. “Leo, I’ll never forget you or your washboard abs.”

“True, mine was a girl named Aiko,” Izou chimed in. “I met her at a soba shop. We spent one summer together, enjoying each other’s company at night.” Izou put his chin on his hand, lost in his own thoughts.

“Isabella did it for me,” Marco replied. “I saw her in a swimming suit when I was 10 and I was done for. We get it yoi. Besides, what’s there to say? She’s pretty, powerful fruit, fun to be around. Did she really break your nose?”

Ace was surprised at their mature responses. He thought they’d be eating him alive for all the information you’d brought up or for how hard he’d tried to impress you. There was something about seeing you again that made him feel exactly as he did when he was a boy. You were so cool, so charming, so sexy. He had always tried to impress you, but he never felt like he measured up. Maybe now he could redeem himself. 

“Yeah, she did. She was so angry she punched me in the face, still completely nude after getting out of the river.” Ace still remembered your perfect boobs from that day. He had thought about them…many times over his teen years.

“High spirited,” Thatch said, looking for a waitress to order another beer. 

“Yeah, you could say that,” Ace thought back on some of his memories with you. Most were fun, hunting, trapping, foraging, things like that. You’d taught him how to play cards, how to cheat at cards, how to tie knots, how to do a lot of basic things that no one had bothered to teach him. You were a shining spot in a rather bleak childhood and he’d held onto your memory dearly. Yes, he had Luffy, but he’d always been watching over Luffy, protecting him. Until you left, he felt like there was someone watching over him . 

“When was the last time you saw each other?” Izou asked, swirling his sake gently.

“Oh, well, we met when I was 11 and she left when I was 13… so she would have been 15, I think? She sailed off the island and I didn’t hear from her again. We’re only a couple years apart in age.”

Marco furrowed his brow. “She set sail at 15 yoi? With her family?” 

Ace shook his head. “No, she lived alone. No family. She just up and left one day,” Ace said, shrugging. It had broken his heart when he’d realized you really weren’t coming back for him. The two of you had talked endlessly about leaving Dawn Island, but he always thought you’d do it together. 

“So, she lived by herself as an orphan child, in the mountains, and set sail alone at 15? What the fuck was happening on your island yoi? She’s lucky to be alive and not enslaved.” Ace hadn’t really thought about it that way. It was all normal to him - he was basically feral until Makino and Sabo had helped him. Why did you set sail so young? Maybe he’d ask you tomorrow. 

“And what about those portals, man?” Thatch exclaimed, getting his hands on a frosty glass. “Really interesting. I wonder if she fights with ‘em. Like you think you’re gonna slice her but bam! You’ve just stabbed yourself in the side.” The others agreed, and talked about various applications they’d use it for. Marco, of course, was curious about its medical application and if it could be used surgically. Ace’s imagination ran wild when he saw your power. He really wanted to see more of it in action. 

“Well, you’re all gonna hafta wait to find out,” Ace declared. “None of you are welcome to meet up with her tomorrow.” He folded his arms across his chest.

“And why is that Squace ?” Izou said with a grin. Ah, there it was. It was bound to happen sooner or later. He knew with the kind of details that you’d shared there’d be no way they could resist the bait. 

“Yeah, show us your forehead!” Thatch reached for Ace’s neck, trying to get him into a headlock. Thatch wrestled with Ace playfully while Izou and Marco watched, cheering Thatch on.

“We wanna see the square yoi!” 

“Is that why you have those curtain bangs? And wear that hideous hat?”

“C’mon Thatch, aim for his sides yoi, he’s ticklish!” 

“Don’t let his dreaminess get in your way!” 

It was all good fun. Ace wasn’t using his fruit power and Thatch was a good wrestler so it was pretty even. They had to stop when they smashed a table and got in trouble with the waitress. Afterwards, they walked back to the Moby Jr, where they were all sleeping for the night. Maybe Ace should rent a hotel room for tomorrow? Nah, that would be too much. He didn’t know if you were actually interested or just being a flirt. Either way, he was looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night. 

~~~

Your POV

You took your time getting ready to meet up with Ace. You were traveling through the Grand Line alone, so you didn’t have a ton of stuff with you. You were always ready to leave at a moment’s notice, grab-and-go style. Even so, you put in your best effort.  He was so good looking, he had to have a lot of experience with women. You wanted to live up to his expectations. You gave yourself a final twirl in the bathroom mirror and left your hotel room. Well, not exactly your room, you weren’t paying for it. You just portaled yourself into empty rooms and it usually worked out just fine.

Ace was even better looking in person than you’d seen in his posters. Sure, you pulled whenever you wanted to, but this was Ace . You’d thought about him so many times over the years, the sweet kisses you’d shared together as you “taught him how to kiss properly.” He was so special to you, really the only good thing that had ever happened to you on that shithole island. Sure you could be witty and flirty, but beneath that was an intense desire to not completely fuck this up.

You arrived at the bar around 6 and took a seat. You didn’t see him yet, and portaled yourself a beer while you waited. It was always amusing to switch things around and watch people’s confusion. You had just switched a guy’s fork and knife back and forth for the fifth time when you spotted Ace through the window. You’d enjoyed meeting his fellow Commanders but hoped they wouldn’t join in. You smiled and raised your glass, showing him you were there. He smiled that beautiful 1,000 watt smile that made your heart stop. He walked up to your table and plopped down. 

“What’s cookin’, good lookin’?” You couldn’t stop yourself, teasing him was so fun and easy.

“What’s going on, Dreamy? Starting without me?” You grinned and portaled him a menu to look for something to drink. Ace took the menu cheerfully. 

“What are you drinking? Looks good.” 

“Oh, ah, I just sort of grabbed it, I’m not sure where it is on the menu.” You didn’t offer to take the menu either.

“Isn’t that nice, you taking care of me on the first date?”

“ Is this our first date? I seem to recall some other times we were together…” The two of you spent hours together, drinking and chatting, reminiscing over old memories. It felt you’d been separated for months, not years. You’d clicked since the moment you’d met as kids and things were no different now. 

After your first round, he handed you the menu again. “Whatcha thinking about drinking next?” You glanced over it but didn’t take it from him.

“You pick, I don’t care.”

After a few hours and many drinks, you were tipsy and wanted to get a little more forward with your flirting. 

“Ace, let’s get out of here. I wanna take a walk.” You didn’t wait for his response, just made a large portal, grabbed his arm, and brought him through it. You held him up by his waist since it was disorienting the first few times to go through a portal. He sagged against you, looking a little worse for the wear. 

“But what about the bill, we didn’t pay -”

You waved off his concern. “I left money on the table. I know you’ll be here a few more days, I won’t getcha banned from the place. Don’t worry about it.” You weren’t lying, you did actually pay for the drinks you’d ordered. With someone else’s money. Usually you’d just portal yourself some money from a marine base or some noble’s house when you needed some cash. So what? It wasn’t like the Marines or some fat cats would miss a few thousand Beri. You weren’t exactly a pirate, you didn’t have a crew or your own boat. You just sailed around for work, taking what you wanted and then leaving. It was similar-ish to piracy but not exactly the same. Your moral compass didn’t have any objections and your wallet didn’t either. 

Ace recuperated quickly and was excited at having gone through a portal. You could tell he was going to start asking you more questions, so you put your hand on his shoulder and backed him into the brick wall right behind him. You put your hand on the wall behind him, even though he was taller than you.

“Ace, you wanna try something I’ve been thinking about?” Ace nodded solemnly. You slowly inched your face closer to his, bringing your mouth near his face. Ace put his hands around your waist, bringing you closer. You gripped his bare shoulders tightly and exhaled into his ear. Ace shivered but didn’t move. You knew what he thought was going to happen but you couldn’t resist. 

“Do you wanna try joining our devil fruit powers together?” you whispered seductively into his ear. You thought you’d tease him but he quickly turned the tables on you. He leaned back further against the wall and leaned his foot against it, like he was getting comfortable. He moved one of his hands from your waist to behind your neck, pulling you even closer.

“I can think of something else I’d like to do together,” he whispered as an answer. You loved seeing this side of Ace. Maybe he’d gotten his footing after catching up with you at the bar. “It’s been a while since my last lesson. I’d like to show you what I’ve learned.”

“I’d like that too,” you said huskily. He brought both of his hands up to cradle your face, bringing his lips down to your own. You were looking up at his freckled face, yearning written all over yours.

“I can tie a monkey’s fist knot in under two minutes,” he said, ghosting his lips on yours as he spoke. He didn’t kiss you, just released your face from his hands and returned them to your waist. Your mouth dropped open and he closed it with his palm, like you’d done to him. It was your turn to flush while he smirked. Oh, he’d grown up all right. 

Once your face returned to a normal color, you punched Ace in the shoulder. “That’s not funny!”

“I think it’s pretty funny,” Ace said languidly. You huffed, but smiled after. You liked playing the game as much as he did.

“I do wanna try combining our powers though, for real. I wanna see if we can send flames through a portal.” Ace’s eyes lit up. 

~~~

It wasn’t even a big fire on the Moby Jr., you didn’t see what the issue was. It was put out pretty quickly, too. Besides, Ace had set the ship on fire before, you could see the scorch marks on the deck. Yes, it was late at night and everyone was sleeping but you had successfully combined your powers, wasn’t that interesting? The Phoenix apparently did not think so.

“What were you thinking yoi?” Marco said, shaking his head at the two of you. You felt like you were being scolded by a parent. You were gonna let Ace take the lead on this one.

“Um…we were trying to see if we could find a new battle strategy?” Ace answered, trying to see if that would satisfy Marco.

“Why would you want to battle our own ship yoi?” Marco replied, exasperated. You snickered, what a bad answer. “And you, Dreamy,” Marco said, rounding on you, “I expected better from you.” Your laughter stopped in the face of the stern half transformed Phoenix in front of you. Dang, this is what guilt felt like. 

“We can fix it in the morning. What do we need? Wood? Money?” You weren’t worried. You could get those things no problem. There was a Marine base on the other side of the island, easy pickings.

Marco had a chilling grin on his face. “Oh no, yoi. You have to buff that out by hand. Sandpaper, vinegar, that kind of thing. See you tomorrow, bright and early yoi.” Marco walked away, smoothing his feathers. You glared at Ace behind Marco’s back. 

“What?! It wasn’t all my fault! I don’t control the portals!” You weren’t actually mad, it had been really fun to blast things with fire, even if it meant more work tomorrow. And yes, maybe you had partially been at fault. But it’s not like you were going to disobey the First Division Commander of the Whitebeard Pirates, so you’d be working with Ace tomorrow morning to fix the ship. You’d had worse jobs.  You put your arm around his waist and leaned your head on his shoulder.

“Guess I’ll be under you tomorrow, Commander. Maybe for the whole day,” you said silkily.

“I can be a stern taskmaster, hope you’re up for it,” he cooed.

“I’ve been known to enjoy a little strict supervision now and again,” you murmured close to his ear.

“Goodnight, Squace.” You turned to him and stood on your toes, asking with your eyes once more for a kiss. 

“Goodnight, Dreamy,” as he leaned in to capture your lips with his, you escaped through a portal at your feet in the last second, leaving only the echoing sound of your laughter. 

[taetr4ck]

Not a request but WHICH SKZ/NCT MEMBER WOULD YOU FIGHT GO!

a/n : i just opened my tumblr after a good whole week and this is what i first read FUCK IT WE BALL ! doing all of them because i feel a bit silly today

contents under the cut

STRAY KIDS

BANG CHAN - no. this is self explanatory tbh. i would straight up ask him to marry me

LEE KNOW - i would. but in return he would tell me how much my parents wrecked my whole being so i'll end up tearing up in the corner

CHANGBIN - one slap from this man and i'm already out of this world. he can literally slap me and the next second i'm already in the fifth dimension. no words needed. i would not fight him.

HYUNJIN - i would and then fall in love in the process

HAN - how could i fight this man ? RUTHLESS.

FELIX - i don't have the heart to tbh. i'll cry before i even land my first hit

SEUNGMIN - big yes tbh. i feel like he's the perfect person to pick a fight with. our competitive ass won't give up so easily unless one of us isn't breathing anymore LMFAO

JEONGIN - this man would stab me before i even know it

NCT 127

TAEIL - one glare from this man and i'm already shivering. 50/50.

JOHNNY - i should be punished for forgetting to put him here. what was i thinking !!!! anyway !! i feel like he would be the one to initiate the fight LMFAO he would straight up come to me and just do a ‘let’s do a square’ ‘aight bet’ kind of interaction tbh he would be the funniest person to pick a fight with. i would fight him. he’d be my sparring buddy afterwards

TAEYONG - bro he's about to do his military service leave him alone 😭🙏🏻 poor bubu i would not fight him

MARK - i would. then we will start throwing rap verses (special mention to jopping) like we didn't almost stabbed each other earlier

JAEHYUN - one punch and my skull is already cracked in half. nope

YUTA - i would just straight up kiss him tbh i would not last for five seconds looking at him

DOYOUNG - he would verbal abuse me tbh that's enough to wreck me

HAECHAN - one michael jackson merch for him and he's wrecked so easily. i would fight him.

JUNGWOO - boy this man would bring a baseball bat even though we agreed to have a fist fight. cheater. i would fight him

NCT DREAM

RENJUN - his glare is enough to kill me. 50/50.

JENO - man idc this is jeno we are talking about !!!! he can punch me in the face and i would not bulge !!!!

CHENLE - man he is the worst person to fight. one word from him and i’m already having a mental breakdown. he would unwrap every inch of my traumas from childhood to present. i won't risk it 🫡

JAEMIN - no because we will have our silly little tea party while talking about cute and pretty things

JISUNG - the idea itself makes us both want to cry

WAYV

KUN - he's too good to pick a fight with. my conscience could never

TEN - big yes. put those slutty muscles to work boy !

HENDERY - we would have a fight in valorant and i'd lose. can't risk my reputation for that smh (kidding)

XIAOJUN - this man would straight up launch at me like a fuckin dog. i would fight him (affectionately)

WINWIN - no. i would ask him to be his gf. no explanation needed

YANGYANG - we would have a pillow fight and the next second he's already holding a brick. i said let's have a pillow fight not give me a fucking concussion 😭🙏🏻

should i add my taglist here omg

⋆ taetr4ck, est may 2023. / requests open

[jeansplaytoy]

aot people and what dogs they have

this was funnnn , no warnings !!

starting off , i feel like eren would have a french bulldog 😭 he don’t even seem like a big dog typa person (not in the animal way) but he would def name the dog after him like with the same initials or something. like ej (eren jeager) jr.

“ej jr, getcho ass back over here.”

“bruh ej jr ian even playin nomo bruh.”

“junior, why you eat my new…” and take a deep ass breath. “why you eat my new shoes?”

but to be honest he can’t even be mad cus him and the dog act just alike 💀 and i feel like ej jr would be hella nice, just play too much (like eren). like the amount of times this dog has took off down the sidewalk and eren just stood there, sick and tired of the bullshit. he’d definitely be one of those people that would be like “dogs too much to handle” but kept the dog no matter whatttt.

next up is connie, who would prolly have a doberman i’m not even finna lie. like he would want a dog that looks scary, but isn’t actually mean. and that’s specifically his dog.

like he’s trained enough that if connie tells him to attack like for real, that mf gon attack. but he’s trained enough to know if connie just playin or not. but he got it kinda good cus when i say everybody is scared of this boys dog …. it ain’t even funny 💀

everybody is scared of it except for the main group. he gotta keep it in its room (yet it had its own room) for somebody to come over his house.

and i feel like he’d name it like domino or spade (ykyk).

“yo spade come here lil bro!”

“spade go eat yo food, you had me fixing that shit for nun.”

“spade. go in yo room fool.”

he also squares up and play fights wit the dog 😭.

next up is jean. now this mf know he wrong, but he would have one of them tall ass dogs, like a irish wolfhound or sumn.

now this dog is sum else, jeans dog would be hella chill, but taking it out in public? 💀shiddd. everybody staring and looking like a mf and he honestly, HONESTLYYY don’t understand why. people will literally be like “bruh, that dog is huge as fuck.” and he’ll just be like “ion know what y’all be talmout, but ight.” AND IT AINT NO ACT cus he tall too😭.

the dogs name would prolly be clifford, ngl. the only difference is that the dog ain’t red. but other than that, he chill as hellll.

“clifford, stop tryna eat paper and shit!”

“cliff’ you chewed my bottle of water bro.”

“clifford, go. just go sit down, damn.”

there’s really no problems with this dog other than the fact that it’s big, but it’s trained a lot and hella good. like the dog knows to sit down in its normal spot when people come over and not to try to jump on people when they’re standing up, stuff like that.

so ony would probably have a small dog just like eren, and it’d probably be a papillon and lemme tell you, he would literally treat this dog like a princesssss omggg.

buy her clothes, paint her nails, brush and comb her hair, brush her teeth, treats everywhere in the bottom of the pantry. like he’ll treat the dog like his own daughter. he always holds her, she’s trained (kind of), like what else could a dog ask for?

but the namewise, i feel like he’d name his dog princeee, honestly. 😭

“princess, bring yo tiny ass-“

“you hungry, P’?”

“princess get that shit out yo mouth!”

of course he’ll only fuss at the dog if she really being disobedient like the time his bed was covered in toilet paper, like ten rolls.

now speaking of fussing, mikasa will forever get fussed at for buying not one, but two black perro de prasa canarios. when i say this girl don’t give a damn bout walking at night with her hands full at all, even when the dogs ain’t on a leash, they’re trained REALLY good. so when she’s actually scared or nervous about somebody following her, they’ll do exactly what she says. full on barking and then stopping mid bark when she says so.

everybodies scared of her dog (and connie would be jealous because not that many people really care about his when they see hers) but it’s not even on purpose, she just wants them for protection honestly.

their names would probably be bullet and gun. obviously.

“gun, bullet, why is there dog food everywhere?”

“gun, bro stop tryna fight bullet.”

“bullet, stop shaking water everywhere!”

bullet is bullet because he got a lot of energy and gun is gun because he’s more intimidating. like they got the spike collars and all, mikasa was not playing.

last but not least, sasha would have a dog that she could laugh at everyday, like a greyhound.

now honestly her and this dog will argue each other from the minute she wakes up to the minute she goes back to sleep. they would be so on and off. 😭 but she’d dress the dog up and stuff and be really nice to it.

the only thing she’d really laugh at is how skinny the dog looks. but the name would probably be bones.

“bones, stop chewing on my airpods cases!”

“bones, get out. please get out.”

“bones stop scratching meee!”

but she obviously loves her dog cus she’s the type to have it since she was like 16 maybe. and they play fight too but she always ends up losing the fight, and one of her lashes in the process.

let’s not talk about how i fg to put armin, hope u enjoyed.

[relephantirrelephant]

AITA for asking my girlfriend to stop knitting so much? My (30M) girlfriend (27F) is really into knitting and has been long before we started dating 3 months ago. At first it didn’t bother me and I thought it was cool she had a hobby but then I realized just how much she does it. Granted, she’s not pulling out the knitting hook at dinner or anything but it seems anytime we’re watching TV together or just hanging out at her place she’s always working on some project. She said she needs to keep her hands busy and it’s like fidgeting for her, but I severely doubt that she can be fully present. You don’t have to pay attention when you fidget and she literally always jokes that she doesn’t know how to count. She claimed it’s not all the time… but it’s definitely more often than not. She argued that she can follow TV show plots just fine but when I quizzed her on some details she couldn’t answer some of the questions sooo… I think my point stands. Then she said “If it’s an important conversation I obviously put my work down” but I think we have different definitions of what important means. I also told her I would like to be able to cuddle and physically interact with her during TV time. She said we can still cuddle but it’s literally not the same? I want her to be interested in me, not some pile of yarn. This might be petty but I think I might feel better about it if she knitted things for me, but it always seems to be bags or clothes for herself or like random squares. She did make a pretty cute toy for my dog though, that was actually nice. Anyway I sat her down the other day and told her my perspective, and instead of being willing to compromise, she told me that I’m the one that’s not listening to her and essentially called me an asshole. She’s a great girl and I don’t want to lose her over this but also not sure what to do. AITA?

Yes, you're the asshole. Not just because it's CROCHET instead of KNITTING, or because you demand she make something for you, or because she's 27 and you're calling her a "girl", or because you're pissed that you can't touch her whenever you want, or because you gave her a fucking pop quiz after making her watch TV. It's that and probably a gazillion other things you do.

Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/v/AmItheAsshole/comments/15tf2bh/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_stop_knitting_so/

Reveddit mirror: https://www.reveddit.com/v/AmItheAsshole/comments/15tf2bh/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_stop_knitting_so/

[cactusnymph]

for the touches ask game, how about "3. hugging while twirling around"? for anyone!

Fuck, she's on fire.

Not literally this time, but emotionally. She can touch people again. She can go around and shove people and clap her hand on their backs and kiss and hug and fuck and punch people in the face in a friendly bar brawl without making their face look like a medium raw beef steak.

Fuck. Yes.

She feels the intense need to kiss Dammon square on the mouth but she hugs him instead and hoists him up and holds him way longer than might be appropriate but he chuckles and hugs her back and it's the fucking best feeling in the world.

Gods, it's so good to be alive.

"This is the best day. This is. The best. Day!", she exclaims, over and over again and beams. She can pick flowers. She could scritch a dog behind its ears right now! Holy shit!

The possibilities are endless and Karlach feels happiness bubble inside her like thick lava, ready to burst out of the ground. She's a literal volcano of happiness. Fuck yeah.

Karlach hugs everyone. She hugs Gale and Tav and Shadowheart, then she hugs Dammon again, then she rolls around in some grass just for good measure. It doesn't leave a burning trail of ash and embers behind and Karlach is so fucking stoked she almost starts crying.

"Oh my gods, I need to find someone to spoon tonight. I'd spoon the fucking Elderbrain to be totally honest with you. I am so ready to cuddle. Holy shit!"

"Please don't spoon the Elderbrain", Gale says weakly and Tav laughs so hard that they choke on their own spit and Shadowheart has to use a spell to make them stop heaving. Karlach loves them all so much. She loves her friends and the whole world and Dammon and this grass tickling her skin and the feeling of the wind in her face.

It wouldn't even matter if she died tomorrow because she's so fucking happy to be in this very moment. It would all have been worth it just for this.

Karlach whistles and sings the entire time they walk back to camp, from time to time grabbing Tav's or Shadowheart's hands to hold and swing between them like a happy child.

First thing she'll do back at camp is find Scratch and pat him for half an hour. At least that's what Karlach thinks until they arrive and the first thing she sees is Astarion and Wyll standing next to each other as Astarion works to fix a rip on Wyll's shirt.

The heart in her chest that's not really a heart roars with affection and she loves Scratch, she loves him so much, but she also loves these men and now she can touch them.

Fuck.

Karlach doesn't think twice, she barrels forward, jumping over the campfire with ease past Lae'zel who's reading a weird metal disc with a furrowed brow and then she's there, startling both of them.

"What in the—", Astarion starts and drops his needle but he can't finish his question because Karlach already picked them both up. Gods, they're both so skinny. She smushes them together and laughs and maybe she also cries a little as she turns around with both of them in her arms, their feet dangling off the ground.

Astarion protests and struggles against her grip like a grumpy cat while Wyll laughs with her.

"It worked!", he exclaims, his voice as excited as Karlach feels.

"It worked", she cries and hugs them tighter, turning two more times before setting them back down and taking a step back. Gods, it's hard to let them go. Fuck she wants to hug them again immediately.

"Well", Astarion says and pretends to dust off his shirt, his face purposefully nonchalant but his cheeks all flushed, "I see your little outing was successful, darling."

"Fuck yes it was. I will spoon you so hard tonight", she says and pumps her fist in the air. Astarion blinks while Wyll chuckles.

"Spoon?", he echoes. Karlach grins so hard that her cheeks hurt.

"Yeah. Spooning. Cuddling. Holding tenderly. Whatever you wanna call it", she says and nods before twirling around by herself again. "I can hug people again!"

"Ugh. Fine, I guess", Astarion says, doing his best to sound as if he's doing Karlach a huge favor. Wyll shakes his head but he's still smiling.

"That means you won't get cold tonight, my pointy-eared friend", Wyll says. Astarion narrows his eyes at Wyll.

"I am dead. I don't get cold", he proclaims and stalks off, leaving Wyll's shirt unfinished. Karlach beams at him as Wyll hugs her again.

"I am so happy for you", he whispers and she holds him tight.

"Me too, Wyll. Me too."

feel free to send me more of these <3

[kaaaaaaarf]

how are the hatefuck boys doing I miss them 🥹

Hello Anon! They are doing great. 🥹 They had a lovely lie-in this morning!! Sirius woke well rested after a night in their plush king size bed (with a frame!) that he made Remus buy with his rockstar money when they moved in together. Remus' back hurts and he slept terribly because Sirius made him sleep on the floor like a dog again.

("It's hot in here and you slick up like a dolphin when you sweat. I don't want your moist, gangly limbs in my face while I'm getting my beauty rest. Plus, you stink when you sweat. It's disgusting." "Sirius, what are you even talking about? You literally moaned when you huffed and licked my armpit while we fucked this morning." "That's how I know you stink.")

Once they were up, they made the most of the lovely, sunny day by spending the afternoon getting coffee and arguing loudly/scaring tourists in Washington Square Park.

Right now, Sirius is enjoying a Guinness at The Loup before heading over to Berlin Under A, where Remus is playing a gig tonight. He is going to partake in his favourite activity—heckling Remus while he's on stage—and then fuck him in the alley after the show while wearing merch for the opener. He'll coo at him the whole time and tell him not to worry, his band is getting so much better!!

("It's so cute when you sing off key. Stick with it, and keep practicing, baby. One day you'll make it." "I—fucking hell, right there—I literally just got back from a sold out international tour." "Yeah, and maybe one day you'll headline!")

So, you know. A usual day.

[ohanny]

so fun fact, i've been feeling like crap and spiked a fever and literally dreamt this so from my actual delusions to you...

give kim something to do and get these three fraternizing:

basically, there was a deleted scene where pete hears about kim roaming free and he's like “oh, how did he escape?” and his henchmen informants (or way) are like “he didn't, rumour has it kenta let him go” and pete is like “... interesting.” because kenta serves tony’s interests. kenta doesn't disobey. kenta does not argue, ever. so the fact that he even at bare minimum dared to start giving tony suggestions on what to do? mmh.

so pete calls kim like “hey, we gotta talk? like i need to know what you said or did to kenta to make him let you go. come over, boo, let's chat” and let's be real, it's not like kim has anything better to do so he's like “sure” and arrives to the scene (which in my head took place in pete’s office, shh) just as kenta is about to kebab skewer pete.

and kim is like “KENTA NO!” using the same voice i use when i see my dog have something she definitely should not have in her mouth. and he grabs kenta’s shoulder and shoves him back and kenta just… goes. and pete is like “... interesting.”

kenta has scampered up and points the knife at kim, asking him to just “please leave, this has nothing to do with you, you got out so just GO!” but kimberly of justice is like “nah, kenta, we can't just shish kebab people” and starts walking towards kenta, pissed off, all “huh, whatcha gonna do? stab me too?” and the second his chest is about to touch the knife kenta yanks his arm back because yeah, no way is his knife getting anywhere close to hurting kim as seen before. and pete just lays there like “.... INTERESTING INTENSIFIED”

kim squares up with kenta going “you know what, you can stab pete if you want to but you have to go through me first.” and kenta is already at the breaking point and he keeps saying “please” as if he repeats it enough, kim will just step aside but no. kim is all “you helped me so let me help you” and kenta is all “i don't -” and kim rolls his eyes like “yeah, you really don't deserve it right now, look at you, but you can change. you can do better. you can earn it. you're nothing to tony. aren't you tired of just being his tool? don't you want to be a person again?”

kenta lets out this strangled scream of “i don't know how!” and kim is like “for starters you're gonna give me that knife and sit the fuck down so we can talk instead of stabbing each other” and pete - who in the midst of being INTERESTED has slowly inched his way back up to his feet - says “i'm sorry i didn't do more for you then. i should've just knocked you out and dragged you out with me but let me do it right this time.”

and when kenta turns to look at pete, kim grabs his wrist and twists the knife out of his grasp and as the knife falls, it's like all of kenta’s strings have been cut. kim catches him, saying “it's okay, i got you” and kenta basically just blue screens and passes out and then kim is like “oof, pete? little help here?” and then pete sweeps kenta up from kim’s arms and lays him down on the couch so kim can fuss over him, put a pillow under his head and straighten his clothes.

pete’s looks at kim all “yeah, that's why i wanted to talk to you. what did you do to him?” and kim huffs, offended, with a flip of his perfect fluffy fringe, “absolutely nothing. who do you think i am? i'm not part of your freaky little super squad.” and pete is like INTERESTING.

[emotoangel]

okay! today we’re gonna have a chat about some things I don’t usually chat about, because if it helps one person then it’s worth it! from someone who’s been there, if you’re in The Bad Place mentally right now, here are my tips for how to make it through!

I’m not a doctor or a medical professional of any kind, but I have been there, and I’ve seen lots of doctors and medical professionals (and part of my work is giving people this kind of advice) so I will relay on to you both what has been told to me and what I have tried.

first of all, if you’re reading this I love you, and there is nothing you cannot make it through. I know you don’t want to be strong right now, I know you just want things to be better or over or to be able to rest, and I know it’s really fucking hard to try and keep going when things feel like this, but I promise you there is nothing that is worth losing your life. absolutely nothing. no one deserves to take that from you - not family, not friends, not partners, and certainly not incredibly shitty celebrities or politicians. your life is special and powerful and you can make it through this, I promise you. so here are some things that will help:

1. try and practice even an ounce of self care. and I genuinely mean even an ounce. if you can’t brush your teeth, rinse your mouth with mouthwash or water. go to the toilet. shower if you can. have a glass of water or a drink you enjoy. brush your hair, or if you can’t brush it then put it up and out of your face. do some skincare, something, anything! if you feel like you can barely move from your bed, move to sit on the floor. just do something. move from wherever you’re currently rotting just for a minute.

2. if there is absolutely anyone you trust, call them. you don’t have to tell them how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking about or why you feel how you feel (though if you feel up to it, doing so will help) - you can talk to them about anything. ask them about what they’re doing this upcoming weekend. talk to them about a tv show you saw recently. talk about literally anything with them. just interacting with someone will make at least a little bit of a difference.

3. breathing exercises are fine if they work for you, if they don’t, try grounding exercises, such as the 5 senses technique. think about 5 things you can see, 4 you can hear, 3 you can touch, 2 you can smell and 1 you can taste. distract your brain even for a minute to give yourself just a little bit of respite.

4. do something you love. hey, you’re thinking about dying anyway, you might as well try something you enjoy first - right? listen to an UPBEAT song you enjoy (sad songs are fine, but ideally you want something to shock the system a little). if you aren’t able to think of a song, listen to some one direction (I personally recommend don’t forget where you belong, because you can’t not laugh a little when they sing ‘if you ever feel alone - don’t!’ because it’s just so fucking ridiculous) or fucking LMFAO or something. I dunno, man. listen to something that will make you laugh, like something by weird al yancovic or cosmo Jarvis or something. If you don’t wanna do music, make something. draw something shit! try and draw a dog from memory. make a paper airplane. crochet a square. just do SOMETHING that you enjoy. if you haven’t found joy in it recently, that’s okay. do it anyway. at least then something new exists that didn’t before, and that’s so cool right?

5. if you are in a place (country, state, county etc.) that has even some semblance of decent medical care, and you feel capable of doing so, call your GP/doctor and ask them for an emergency appointment. if you’re in the UK call 111. tell someone how you’re feeling IF it is safe to do so where you are. see if you can get some help.

6. if literally all else fails, do anything (within reason) that you can to fall asleep. listen to sleep sounds, meditation music, rain sounds idk. have a wank. take a singular melatonin tablet. spray lavender sleep spray. wrap yourself up in a heated blanket. have a bath. do whatever you need to do to get you to sleep. if it takes you 2 hours to fall asleep, it takes you 2 hours. you have panic attacks and you cry and you beg for someone to sedate you but you do not give up. you get some sleep.

and then you get up and you try again tomorrow. and maybe tomorrow you can brush your hair. or you can drink some water. have a slice of toast. brush your teeth. listen to a song you like. call a friend. call a helpline. call a doctor. and if you can’t, that’s fine. you try those things again the next day. and you keep trying. until eventually it comes more easily to you.

I don’t want to sound patronising, but if you’re thinking about ending it all then you’re already at rock bottom. it will feel like nothing can get worse. you will feel like everything is ending and this is your only option. so why not try a couple of these things, right? because things can’t really get worse. either they help a little or they do nothing, and then at least you’ve tried, right?

and I’m telling you now that bare minimum one of these things will help you, at least a little. I don’t live next door to you - I can’t provide resources for every single state, county, street, country in the world, but I promise you those resources are out there. and I can tell you now, from someone who’s been at rock bottom, it’s only up from here.

things will get better. you will meet friends who love you. friends who care about you more than you ever thought you could be cared about. you’ll see animals in the street and people in love and new flowers and you’ll try new foods and you’ll learn to love that shit spread that everyone enjoys that you hate. and you will have bad days. because bad days in life are inevitable. but you will make it through them all. right now, you only need to make it through this one.

if you need a hug, I am hugging you. if you need someone to tell you things will be okay, I am telling you right now things will be okay. if you need a sign to keep fucking screaming and crying and kicking and clawing to stay alive right now, take this as your fucking sign.

you can do this. everything will be alright in the end, and if its not alright, it’s not the end.

[insanitybl00m]

Tales From Under The Wisteria Tree Chapter 6 - The Tailor

Philza stayed awake. His brain was still shot with adrenaline. His brain was screaming danger danger danger. 

“Deep breaths,” he whispered. Missa was safe and that was all he cared about. Right now all he needed was for Missa to get sleep and he could rest tomorrow night.

The late hours of the night stretched into the early hours of the morning. Eventually, the sun rose above the horizon.

“Missa. We’re ok.”

“Good, now you can get some sleep,” Missa murmured, trying to grab at Phil to pull him into the mess of bedrolls and half-burnt cloaks.

“No silly. We need to get to the village. You need new clothes and I’m fine.”

“But it’s early~” Missa whined. He blinked open his eyes and gave Phil the most pathetic puppy-dog eyes possible. 

They really did need to leave. It wasn’t safe to stay in one spot for too long. 

“What would convince you to get up wisteria.” The nickname felt soft on the top of his tongue. 

“Wings.”

“What?”

“Your wings are soft, I want to hug them.” 

“And you promise you’ll get up?”

“Promise.” Phil sighed and extended his wings. Missa did the same thing he did yesterday when he first saw them and ran his hands over them, as if he was testing they were real, before resting his head against them. 

“Why do you like my wings so much?”

“They’re soft. And warm. And cozy.”

“Yeah, but they’re just wings.”

“They’re like angel wings.”

Waking up and getting to hug Phil’s wings was probably the best feeling ever. Missa would never get over how soft they were. 

“Ok, that’s enough of that,” Philza said with an awkward laugh.

“Fine. I keep my promises.” Missa slowly got up. He brushed his fingers through his hair. Burnt pieces of hair touched his hand. 

“Did the dragon fry my hair?” He asked.

Philza squinted at his hair. “It doesn’t look like it.”

“Feel it, idiot!” Missa grabbed Phil’s hand and placed it in his hair. 

“Oh. Yeah, the tips are singed.”

“No mames.”

“You still got the dagger?”

“I put it in my bag. Why?”

“It's the best thing to cut hair that we’ve got.”

“No. There’s no way you’re cutting my hair with a literal knife.”

“It’s either that or hair that’s burnt.”

Missa sighed. “Fine. Don’t you dare fuck up my hair.”

Phil laughed as he moved to grab the dagger from Missa’s bag. “You trust me to save your life but not to cut your hair.”

“Nope, don’t trust you with my hair.”

Another laugh. “Liar.”

“Just cut my hair bird boy.” Phil did, carefully cutting off burnt hair.

“Can I even it out, like, making it all normal.”

“Yeah.” And so he did, hair kept falling and Missa’s long hair became much more mullet-like. 

“All done?”

“Yep.”

Missa grabbed his bag. “All ready to go?”

“You realize that you can’t just leave the hair lying around. You do realize that locks of hair are a part of fae courting rituals right?”

“They’re what?”

“Have you read the entry on fae?”

“Not yet…”

“When you get the chance you should.”

“So where is the hair going to go?”

“I’ll keep it here,” Phil held up a small bag. “If that’s ok with you of course.”

“Sure.” Phil took the hair and put it in the small cloth bag.

Phil had to tuck his wings under his shirt, which was much more uncomfortable than hiding them under a cloak. But Missa was still clinging onto the shreds of his cloak, not that it would do much anyway.

The pair made their way back to the village in a few hours, getting a few weird stares probably due to the state of their clothes.

“Do you know the way to a tailor?” Missa asked a young woman who looked them both up and down before answering.

“Uh, yeah. Left at the fountain in the town square. A big sign that says ‘Roier’s Woven Wonders’.”

“Roier’s place! Oh, I’ve met him before, he’s a great tailor, C’mon Wisteria.” Phil tugged on Missa’s arm and they took off towards the town square. 

“Who’s Roier?”

“You’ll see!”

“This better be good,” Missa grumbled.

“Trust me you’ll love him.”

When they stopped outside the shop Missa had to admit that the dark brick stood out against the rest of the shops. It was decorated nicely.

“Oi Roier!” Phil yelled as he entered the shop.

“Felipe? Felipe Craft? No mames!” A tall, wiry man appeared from seemingly nowhere and tackled Phil in a hug.

“Hey mate, long time no see!”

“Who’s this?” Roier said, finally looking at Missa.

“Oh, this is Missa.”

“I thought we weren’t using names with strangers?” Missa asked, confused.

“Roier isn’t Fae.”

“Fuckin cursed by them,” Roier said. “But that’s not what you two are here for. You need clothes.”

“How did you– Oh right our clothes are ruined,” Missa said. 

“Dragon?” Roier asked Phil, who sighed before responding.

“Unfortunately.”

“You came to the right place then. Set up a shop since you last saw me. Putting my skills to good use.”

“I see that, how’s Cellbit?”

“Good, he’s with Bagi.”

Missa was left confused as the conversation drifted towards things he had no part in. 

Phil mentioning his name is what clued him in that he should start listing “–Missa and I need clothes made of spider silk.”

“You do realize that you want six outfits made out of spider silk. That would take me months to make enough string for that.”

“What’s spider silk?” Missa interjected.

“The highest quality silk in the world,” Roier explained.

“Why do we need spider silk clothes?”

“Temporary precaution in case we get stuck in the Underdark,” Phil explained.

“Get stuck where?” Missa asked.

“Underdark is the realm of nightmare creatures,” Roier explained.

“It’s only a precaution. It will keep us warm enough in the underdark but it will also help at night too.”

“The most spider silk I can spare is for your cloaks and a basic set of clothes for each of you.”

“And you have normal cloth right?” Phil asked. 

“Ay Felipe,” Roier turned to Missa. “Can you believe him? Your husband is trying to rob me of everything I’m worth.”

“Husband?” Missa asked.

“Wait Phil–” Roier started.

“Last time we met I told Roier I was done traveling until I found someone to share my adventures with. He must have assumed that meant a husband, right Roier?”

Phil shot Roier a pointed glance.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry about the assumption. I’ll need measurements for each of you. Once I have those I should only be an hour.”

“An hour?” Missa asked.

“Speedy hands,” Roier said with a flourish. “Phil, you first.”

“What the hell was that bullshit? Not your husband? I could smell the bond on him from a mile away. You gave him fae food?”

“Roier you don’t understand–”

“You think I don’t understand how fae work?” He pulled up his sleeve revealing a sigil branded onto his arm. Phil winced and looked away. “I’m eternally bonded to one. I know the signs.”

“He gets to choose.”

“But to all fae you meet, they will see the two of you as partners.”

Phil felt his cheeks go warm. “Yes.”

“So, what’s next?”

“I court him the human way. If he rejects me then I break the bond.”

“That sucks dude, human courting is weird.”

“Weirder than exchanging names, eating food, and gifting locks of hair?”

Roier laughed. “I know your clan is weird about the idea of ‘kidnapping’, which by the way isn’t kidnapping.”

“It is–”

“Don’t care, anyway look at him, he’s literally clinging onto the cloak you gave him.”

“He’s cold.”

“That shred of fabric ain’t warming him up but keep believing that if you want.”

“He knows about my wings,” Phil said his brain had lost its filter. 

“Oh?”

“He didn’t run away screaming.”

“You want me to design some slits for your wings in the back of your clothes? That way they can still be covered by the cloak but more comfortable than normal stuff.”

“That would be great, you have no idea how many shirts I’ve ruined by making slits for them.”

“I’ve already got the measurements from the last time you visited, you should be good. I just needed to get you to fess up about your crush on your little human.”

“Shut up.” Phil paused. “Can I ask you for a favor though?”

“Always, you’ve only saved my life like twice.”

“Add some green designs into Missa’s clothes for me.”

Roier muttered curses under his breath. “You think I’d learn to not blindly accept deals with fae.”

“He should be ready to take your measurements now,” Phil said after leaving the backroom.

“Thanks,” Missa said.

“Close the curtain behind you.”

“Okay?” Roier took off his jacket and revealed a… second set of arms?

“Fastest sewer in the world.” He said, flexing his arms.

“I bet. How did you…”

“I was cursed by a fae. Became an arachnid. Basically a giant spider beast. When I got turned back I was left with these. Curse residuals. Nothing can get rid of them. I’m also eternally bound to the fae who cursed me.”

“Bound?”

“This thing on my arm: it’s the mark of my curse.”

“Oh wait, spider beast. Spider silk!”

“Yep, now let me get your measurements.” Roier took his measurements surprisingly quickly. His extra set of arms really did make him a better tailor. “Done, now you can go wait outside with Felipe.”

“Ok.”

Phil was sitting down on a bench, he was writing a new entry in his journal of the fae creatures.

“What’s that one about?”

“Fae curses, specifically ones that transfigure humans.”

“Like Roier?”

“Yeah…” He let out a yawn.

“I told you that you need sleep.”

“I’ll be fine.” Another yawn.

Missa took the journal out of his hands. “You’re sleeping, you need a break.” He sat down next to Phil.

“Where?” Missa sighed and moved so that he could be a comfortable pillow. When Phil rested his head on Missa’s shoulder he felt Phil relax a little bit. “Thank you.”

“I’ll read that entry on Fae you were talking about.”

“M’kay.”

Fae (General)

Also known as Faery, Fairy, tricksters, Elven folk, or Magical beings.

Most Fae fall under a different classification, such as changelings for example. 

This is an overview of most Fae. Separate classifications will be separate entries.

Fae are tricksters. At the end of the day, they put themselves and their clan above all else.

Clans are a sense of family. Although there are many clans most specialize in certain areas.

For example, the king’s clan specializes in trickery, maintaining balance, and helping other fae.

His ‘children’ (faelings in his clan) are helpful but they tend to follow their father’s more mischievous tendencies.

Clans can be quite small with a singular head of the clan or they can be quite large with up to five heads per clan.

Fae are immortal. With few exceptions to this, most Underdark creatures can kill fae. Venom, dark sabers, etc. Fae born in the Underdark are truly immortal, but a fae born in the Underdark is very rare considering how dangerous that realm is for Fae. They look very different from normal fae.

Most Fae have wings. Butterfly wings, Dragonfly wings, or any other type of insect wings are common. Bird wings are rarer. And the rarest are dragon wings. Dragon wings are exclusive to Underdark fae and Dragonborn fae. 

Fae and Humans

Fae are known for their unique relationship with humans. 

Fae food, gifting names, and giving locks of hair are way to bond yourself to a fae. 

-Fae food can send you to fairyland but it can also bond you to the person who grew/made the food.

-gifting names. Don’t share your name with a stranger . However, if a fae gives you their name and you give yours in exchange it can be seen as an act of courting.

-Locks of hair are special. They must be willingly given and often used when negotiating a deal with a fae.

Fae food that sends a human to fairyland must be given. Not sold. If anything is given in exchange for fae food it nulls the ability for it to transport humans.

Fae partners are often called “beloveds”. Beloveds are immune to aging. They will not die of old age however they can still die by any other means.

Fae Courting

The strength of the bond goes as follows, from weakest to strongest. Names exchanged, food given, hair exchanged.

Often the hair that is exchanged is used in a ceremony called handfasting. Ribbons meant to represent the couple are braided together along with the hair that was exchanged. It is used to represent commitment to each other. Hands are bound together using this braided rope. 

This ceremony officially declares that a human is now a beloved. Most fae do not consider this ceremony a requirement to consider themselves partners.

Certain clans have rules about the courting of humans. These clans may specify that the human must be in full agreement of the bond before they are able to travel to fairyland. Some exceptions to this can be made but these clans strictly forbid the capture of humans for servitude.

To these clans humans are special. They may be more overprotective around other fae and more “claiming” may be involved. Claiming means different things to different clans but most bonded have a significant mark. A tattoo, a charm, a necklace; something to remind other fae around that the human is theirs.

Missa sighed. His brain was overwhelmed with information. He felt the emerald still in his pocket from earlier. He carefully took it out, careful not to disturb Philza who was still fast asleep on his shoulder.

The gem was almost like a teardrop. However, it still had jagged edges like it had only been smoothed partially. It would make a perfect necklace. He reached into his bag and fished out his pocket knife, he probably should have asked Phil to cut his hair with this rather than a dagger.

He angled the knife and started to carve out a small hole towards the tip of the teardrop, just thick enough to slip a small piece of cord through. He carefully untied a string of his bag and threaded it through the tiny hole, making the gem hang from the center. While he was tying a knot, one of those adjustable ones, Roier stepped out of the backroom.

“All done!”

“Has it really been an hour?”

“Yep. How’s the sleepy head?”

“Well, he’s asleep.”

“You should make sure the measurements are accurate.” Roier handed him the stack of clothes. “Everything should fit but make sure to try on both the spider silk and the normal outfits. The material could fit differently.”

“Okay.” Missa carefully stood up, only moving Phil a tiny bit. It didn’t really matter though, Phil was fast asleep.

He went into the back room and changed into the outfit made of spider silk. Roier was right, it was warm. It also fits perfectly. Roier really did know how to make clothes. He then tried on the normal clothes next. They weren’t as soft as the spider silk but they were much more breathable.

Missa looked at himself in the mirror. The pants were black and the shirt was a deep blue. The sleeves had green designs and they resembled flowers, if Missa squinted he could also see hearts and feathers incorporated into the design. He also admired the cloak which was made of spider silk. It had a similar design as the sleeves, but the green slowly blended into the rich purple of the cloak.

“Is this good?” Missa asked, stepping out of the back room.

“Much better.”

Missa looked towards Phil. “He’s still asleep huh?”

“I can wake him up!” Roier offered, eager to annoy his friend. 

“No, don't! He barely slept last night.”

“Then do you want to come upstairs? I’m sure Cellbit left some tea lying around somewhere before he left.”

“That would be great.”

Missa noticed the necklace he left on top of his bag. He tucked it into his pocket before he followed Roier up a small set of stairs towards the back of the shop.

“Pepito! We have guests!” 

“Apa Roier!” A small boy yelled before grabbing onto Roier’s leg.

“AY!” Roier picked up the boy, “Pepito, Pepito, Pepitooooo! Did Apa Cellbit leave some tea in the kitchen?”

“Mhm, and some cocoa powder! Can I have some?”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Please?”

Missa was suddenly struck with an overwhelming amount of homesickness for Chayanne. 

“Alright I’ll boil us some water, go draw Pepito, I’ll call you when yours is ready.”

“Thanks apa!” The boy bounded off for another room down the corridor. 

“Sorry about him.”

“No, no, don’t be. My son is the same way.”

“You have a son?” The two made their way into the kitchen. 

“Yeah, he’s seven. Had my friend watch over him so that he’d be safe.”

“Pepito is four, a bundle of energy, but he tends to put it into his drawings.”

“Chayanne is the same way.” Missa laughed. “Except he uses his energy to try and fight his friends with wooden swords. Nearly gave me a heart attack the first time I saw him fighting.”

Missa smiled at the fond memory. His son was roughly the same age as Pepito when Missa caught him making a wooden sword. He smiled and said “Look, papa! Now I’m like you!” Missa nearly cried that day.

The sound of boiling water distracted him from his memories. “Shit.” Roier quickly poured the water into three mugs. He was adding tea to two and cocoa powder to another. 

“Pepito cocoa!”

The three sat down at the table, Pepito’s legs swinging back and forth. “Hello Mr.”

“Hi pepito.”

“What’s your name?”

“Missa.”

“Great! Apa, Mr. Missa has very pretty clothes. Did you make them?”

“I did Pepito, why?”

“I want you to make me pretty clothes!”

“Pepito, I already made you plenty of clothes.”

“But I want flowy ones like Mr. Missa’s.” The four-year-old pouted. 

Roier let out a laugh. “I’ll make you flowy ones.”

“Yay!” Pepito went back to drawing on the blank paper with crayons.

“What’s that?” Roier pointed at the cord falling out of Missa’s pocket.

“Oh. Nothing special.” He took it out of his pocket and put it on the table.

“Who’s it for?”

“Who said it was for anybody?” Missa sputtered.

“You just don’t strike me as the type of guy to wear jeweled necklaces.”

Missa paused, he should not be asking Roier if— “Does Phil like these types of necklaces?” He was done for.

Roier’s grin turned sharklike. “I bet he’d love it. But you should use a different material for the cord.”

“Like what?”

“Let me go grab some.” Roier stood up and headed into the hallway.

What was Missa going to do while he waited? Pepito was distracted drawing. Roier had left. Tea. He’d drink his tea. 

“Got some!” Roier came back into the room with a handful of ribbon. “Purple and green ribbon. You should braid them together, it’ll go with the clothes I made him.”

“Oh. Okay.” Missa took the ribbon from Roier and braided the ribbon together. It looked rather pretty when he was done with it.

“Now you can take that plain cord out and replace it with this! Much more personal don’t you think?” 

“Yeah.” Missa admired the necklace. It did look a lot better this way. 

Phil blinked his eyes open. Did he really fall asleep? Missa was right, he really was tired. “Missa?”

He looked to his left. No Missa.

“Missa?” He said, this time a bit louder.

“He’s upstairs with me Felipe!” Roier called. 

Phil noticed the stack of clothes on the table in front of him. He had to check on Missa first. 

The first thing he noticed was the necklace on the table, then Pepito, and then the designs on Missa’s clothes. Then the wicked grin on Roier’s face. That mother fucker.

“Hi, Pepito. How are you, buddy?”

“Hi Tio Philza, I’m good.”

“I left your clothes on the table downstairs,” Roier said. 

“Oh yeah, I noticed that.”

“They’re really comfortable,” Missa said. “You should change.”

“Oh ok.” Phil instantly walked downstairs and changed into normal clothes. Missa could ask him to do anything and he’d instantly do it. 

The clothes looked like Missa’s. Roier even added similar detailing on the sleeves, except his was purple and the main color of the shirt was a deep emerald green.

The slits in the back fit his wings perfectly. He grabbed his cloak but he decided not to put it over his wings. He would give them a moment to stretch. 

When he came back upstairs he noticed Missa’s trailing eyes staring at his wings. “So uh, what’s happening guys?”

“Nothing much,” Roier said. “Waiting for you to wake up and then Missa showed me something he was working on.”

“Roier!” Missa shouted, pulling the necklace off the table.

“Show him it!” Roier urged. Phil pretended like he didn't see it. 

“Fine, I will.” He pulled out the necklace and handed it to Phil. “It’s for you. I got the emerald from the dragon’s hoard. Roier gave me the ribbon.” Missa was hiding his face from Phil. 

“You’re welcome,” Roier said before standing up and grabbing Pepito. “I’m going to put him down for a nap then we can discuss payment.”

Phil still hadn’t said anything about the necklace. When he took a peak at Phil he wasn’t standing across from him. “Can you put it on, I can’t quite reach.” Missa nodded and tied it, face still hot. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

“No problem.” He stuttered as Roier came back into the room.

“Alright, Pepito is asleep. Now Phil, spider string outfits are going to cost you. The rest are free but I can’t give out premium outfits for free.”

“15 gold.”

Roier barked out a laugh. “Are you insane? I charge that much for a normal shirt. 100. Each.”

Phil scowled. “150.”

“I’m giving you a deal on 100 each, the lowest I’ll do is 175 for the two of them.”

“Fine. My bag is downstairs.” They all headed downstairs and Phil pulled the money out of his bag. “175. As you asked.” Phil threw his cloak on, careful to hide his wings. “See you around again mate.” 

“Hope you two have fun on your little adventure,” Roier said with a wave. 

“It was nice meeting you, Roier,” Missa said as he also put his cloak on, mirroring Philza.

“Bye, mate,” Phil said before they left the shop. 

“Three hours until sundown. We should have enough time to get out of the area and set up camp.”

“Why do we need to leave so soon?”

“Just a precaution. The scent should be thrown off by the change of clothes and the amount of people around us in that village but I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

“Ok.”

About an hour or two later the sky was turning almost pink. “This should be good right?”

“Yeah, I spotted a river nearby too.”

“I’ll set up the bedrolls if you want to get a bucket of water for the fire.” Phil nodded, set down his bag, and left for the river with a bucket in hand. 

Missa rolled out the bedrolls, and gathered some firewood, before sitting on his bedroll to take off his cloak. He put it down next to him as Phil got back.

“Wow you got firewood and everything, that’s great!”

“Mhm.” Missa scratched at his hair, despite all the burnt pieces being cut off he could feel some ash still clinging to the roots of his hair.

“What’s wrong Wisteria?”

“Nothing.”

“You seem uncomfortable, is there anything you need?”

Missa sighed. “My hair feels a little dirty but it’s fine I swear.” 

“I could help you wash it, we’ve got the water anyway.” 

“Isn’t that for the fire?”

“It’s warm enough out tonight. We should be fine without one.”

“How would you even wash my hair? I don’t have any shampoo or anything, I've been using stuff from the inns.”

“I’ve got my own shampoo, don’t worry about how I’ve got it all taken care of. If you want me to, I will.”

Missa considered it. He did trust Phil. He did want his hair cleaned. But was this too much? This was a lot. But Phil offered. He didn’t have to do that. He probably wouldn’t have offered it if it had been an inconvenience for him.

“Fine.” 

Missa had agreed to let him wash his hair. His brain was yelling thousands of things at him but he had to drown them out. He needed his shampoo and brushes, so he grabbed them from his bags. He wanted Missa to be comfortable. 

“Over here should be good.” Missa followed Phil and sat down next to him. “The water is going to be a little cold but I’ll do my best to avoid getting the water in your eyes. Can you lean back a little?”

“Yeah.” Phil splashed some water until he could lather on the shampoo. “You know I used to do this with my son, especially when he was younger. He’d complain that I washed his hair better so I should just do it for him.”

“Yeah?” Phil started to scrub at Missa’s scalp. It was a calming feeling, knowing Missa trusted him this much. Not only to allow him to wash his hair but to share stories about his son.

“He loves to be babied sometimes. He puts on this strong facade but at the end of the day when it’s just me and him he just clings to me like he’s little again.”

“That’s really sweet.”

“He has this huge bedroom, it’s honestly bigger than mine. But for years he would crawl into my bed in the middle of the night. Eventually, I just started putting him to bed in my bed then I’d clean up the house a little and head back to bed. Now his bedroom is basically just a huge playroom.” Philza leaned Missa’s head back so he could rinse off the shampoo. “I miss him a lot.”

“I bet. He sounds like he’s your whole world.”

“He is.”

“You mind if we go back to the bedrolls, I left a small towel in my bag and your hair kind of needs to be dried a bit more before I can brush it.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I already have my brushes out,” Phil said as he helped Missa up. 

The two made their way over to the bedrolls and Phil dried Missa’s hair.

“Are you sure? My hair always tangles because of how long it is.”

“Believe me, I’m sure Wisteria.” Phil touched the emerald that hung at his neck.

“Do you mind if I tell you more stories about my son, it feels good to talk about him.”

“Of course, I love hearing them.”

Missa laughed, before launching into a tale about the time his son got stuck in a toy bin. Philza just listened as he brushed through the knots that had somehow formed in Missa’s hair.

“Do you mind if I tie your hair up? Like half of it, so it stays out of your face while you’re sleeping. I always hate it when my hair is in my face.”

“Do whatever, I’m getting a bit tired though.” Phil reached into his bag and found a bit of purple and green ribbon in there. Roier must have slipped it in there while he wasn’t looking. He took a bit of the green ribbon and used it to tie up Missa’s hair. He then took a small section of hair from behind Missa’s ear and braided it. Slowly whispering the words of a charm he had used so many times before on his kids' hair. 

Protect this one I love.

Protect them from the kiss of death.

Save them with the love I have woven,

And let them stay with me for a little longer.

The charm set with a green shimmer. It wouldn’t unravel unless there had actually been a brush with death. 

“Ok done.”

“Thanks, Cuervo.”

“I’m glad I was able to help.” Missa turned to face him with a soft smile on his face. 

“I’m going to get some rest, you should too.”

“Ok, goodnight Wisteria,” Phil said as he packed the extra supplies in his bag before lying down.

“Goodnight,” Missa murmured. He was already half asleep.

[jordanraye47]

Izzy headcanons that aren’t an entire fic🔥

Answers scam callers the best way possible “hi welcome to Pete’s roadkill pizzeria where yesterdays loss is todays sauce, how may o help you?” Like that’s her duty

Considering she’s a literal famous actor, she probably has a social media accounts, and even though she rarely posts, when she does, she’s on the damn edge of being canceled.

^ “damn getting arrested for no reason🔥 guess orangre really is the new black”

Speaking of spelling mistakes (no I don’t know how to spell organge), she has dyslexia.

She’s not th favourite kid we could all tell.

Regardless of how much she smiles normally, she can not for the life of her smile for pictures. So 90% of the time her pictures looks like an alien that hasn’t quite figured out where they are, or just a thumbs up.

Thst or that stupid Lin manuela (I think that’s his name) pose.

Speaks crazy many languages, including ASL

She has very good curls, just doesn’t care to take manage them (yes this is me being desperate for representation of girls with curly hair that doesn’t know how to mangene them)

That and the reason she wears the bathing cap is because chlorine FUCKS UP curly hair oh my gosh soaking from experience 🙏

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Scarlett is her older sister.

dicorced nightgown porch cigarette mom and Texan truck motel dad that doesn’t give a shit what their kids do.

Always slightly thrown off when someone is nice to her bushes so used to Noah and Eva’s “mean love” or whatever you call it.

This girl did NOT have friends in school she BIT the other students

Favorite subject is art and sience (I have dyslexia you stuf don’t correct me)

So smart and also so stupid ^ “so what’s the square root of 589 iz?” “24.269.” “ok so do you think Pluto should be considered a planet?” “No of course not he’s a dog. Did you not watch Mickey Mouse”

“Parents got confused and chose daughter on anti-psychotics”

deadass i think her pshycosis is a genuine problem to her but it’s so easy to take it as a joke so she just goes along. (Read “artificial lawns” on AO3 by necrosys its very well explained there)

Has THE most vile t-shirts ever and she wears them in public with a pair of long ads jorts like she’d Adam sandler

Like these <33 - she lives on a farm it’s true she told me

She’s actually pretty funny she just can’t tell a joke without laughing at it herself

She is banned from the kitchen in every kitchen in the world

Izzy Cody and Duncan would be such a fucked up trio I’d love them

I got this from @kijosakka but she’s a really good braided us give her like 20 minutes.

Still has all her baby teeth in a jar

I wanna write some angsty ones so bad but I’m not putting you guys through all that.

I truly believe that Heather and Izzy used to be so good friends but after Heather got a teste of sweet popularity she didn’t hesitate to leave Izzy behind.

She has a secret room in her room

Snacks on yogurt and frozen fruit

She’s covered in freckles so badly like it’s top to toe

Can raise one eyebrow

her mother or herself are the only ones that cut her hair

^ and she has probably never been to a proper hairdresser

That’s all i have for today don’t forget to like and subscribe if you want morir epic content 🔥🔥

[joeybaboo20]

DUMPLOAD MORE OF PJO INCORRECT QUOTES: SOLANGELO EDITION

Will: Can I bother you for a second? Nico: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.

Will: Am I going to far? Nico: No, no, no. You went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you’re going to prison.

Nico: Hi, I'm Will's emergency contact. Counter Woman: You're here to pick them up? Nico: I'm here to remove myself as their emergency contact.

Nico: Relationships should be 50/50. Will cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

Nico: You’re an idiot. Will: That’s the charm.

Nico: But seriously, what is the real plan here that has to do with not fucking around? Will: There is no plan that does not involve fucking around. But we will make sure all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction.

Will: Wow, did you hear that voice crack? Nico: That wasn't a voice crack, that was a whole voice meth.

Will: I'm going the fight the next person who insults Nico. Nico: I hate myself. Will: Alright, square up.

Nico: We need a plan to beat them. Will: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food. Nico: Will: Judge me all you want, I get results.

Will: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one. Nico: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

Will: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water? Nico: Because your toast would get soggy!

Nico: You disgust me. Will: eating a kitkat sideways I realize this and don’t care.

Nico: I have issues. Will: Finally, you admit it! The first step to redemption is accept- Nico: With you.

Will: I've connected the two dots. Nico: You didn't connect shit. Will: I've connected them.

Will: You look mentally ill. Nico: I am. Let’s go.

Will: I desire moisture. Nico: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.

Nico: You use emoji’s like a straight person. Will: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

Will: You have your weirdly sincere humility. Nico: I prefer the term "self-loathing", actually.

Will: I think we should kiss. Nico: And I think you should die but we don’t always get what we want.

Will: Can you keep a secret? Nico: Do you know anything about my life? Will: No, I don't. Good point.

Will: I'm never having a debate with Nico again, they literally started their argument with "Riddle me this."

Will: Don’t you have any dignity, Nico? Nico: Uh, no.

Will: That was so hot, Nico. Nico: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets. Will: I'm so in love with you.

[jojotichakorn]

archer rewatches nlmg: episode 3

[episode 2]

🏆 achievement unlocked: threw hands with a teenage boy

nueng is getting better at convincing chanon that what he wants to do (and also just the reasonable thing to do lmao) is the right call

i've got bad news for you, bud

i forgot palm says this JGLKDFJGLKFDJGLKFD up top, my guy, we got his ass!

palm.exe has stopped working. please contact support urgently.

avert your gaze from the kids bonding and having a good time, you daëmon

nueng, when he is being bullied: doesn't bother standing up for himself.

nueng, when palm is being made fun of: i'm gonna call you a dog and then i'm gonna contemplate stabbing you. bitch.

palm is so happy nueng helped him 🥹 look at that smile! i wish he could feel like this forever.

well sorry, bud, but he is gonna tell someone about it and it's gonna be palm and he's gonna be a complete fucking dickhead about it.

i am about to throw hands with a teenager

THAT'S IT, BEN! SQUARE UP, BITCH! I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS!

WHEN I CATCH YOU, BEN, WHEN I CATCH YOU----

palm and maggie are dancing and suddenly nueng is fully ignoring ben. hey there, bud, remind me again, who do you have feelings for?

gonna tell my kids this is skam thailand

palm imagining them dancing instead kind of breaks my heart right now, i'm not gonna lie

*i turn around, huge cartoon hearts where my eyes used to be* huh? did you say something? i was... distracted.

idk about nueng, but ehhh... this would probably make me shoot even worse kgjkdfljgkfldjg

ngl, palm is insane for this. it's episode 3, what do you mean the answer is already clearly nueng???

no, he's not actually. you are though. and you would be perfect if you had better taste in guys.

obsessed with the fact that he has to like literally physically look up at her. as a short king, i can tell you that this man is a short clown, and he is trying to compensate for his height by being a complete fucking asshole.

i know i say this all the time, but i love him 🥺

au where chopper flirts with palm

*screams of suffering and torment*

my boy pulled out the "all i care about is how you feel" (yes, i do have malec quotes tattooed on my subconscious, thanks for asking)

now the real question is whether he was intentionally flirting here or not

[episode 4]