#literally • i'm the worst of my enemies.
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oh no somebody I do not want to know about my online presence might have found this account luckily I didn't find anything suspicious in my follower list but oh my god
#nana talks#its literally my dad too I'm not gonna get into the whole lore of why I genuinely don't like him but he's an awful person#I hope nobody has to deal with somebody like that ever not even my worst enemy I'm not kidding#so like I'm hoping he's not stalking this blog#like literally what can he do not like its gonna drive me off of the platform I literally don't care about his opinion of me#but its still unsettling if he is trying to keep track of his adult daughter like this#anyways I don't know if I should reach out to tumblr support because like they probably can't do anything#literally up until I was like 15 he had stuff installed that would let him see everything I do online#eventually that app or something of his shut down and I was free hehe#like this man did and said the most horrendous things under the sun and he's like omg why does nana not want to spend time with him#I don't even care if he's reading this he knows that I don't like him#best thing you can do if you have someone like this in your life is just do whatever you want don't let them bother you that much#eventually they'll realise they can't bother you anymore#like literally for the longest while I thought he would never shut up with the insults directed towards me#but like a couple of months of not caring about it and not talking to him later and he left me alone#so like if anyone reading this can relate I am proof that it does get better my dad is the most stubborn and mean case too#so I promise you it will be okay
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people really do not know what they're talking about when it comes to Elizabeth Woodville's social status, huh?
#yes Elizabeth was without a doubt considered too low-born to be queen#no she was not a commoner and nobody actually called her that during her life (so I'm not sure why people are claiming that they did?)#Elizabeth's social status was not a problem in itself; it was a problem in the context of queenship and marrying into royalty#Context is important in this and for literally everything else when it comes to analyzing history. Any discussion is worthless without it.#obviously pop culture-esque articles claiming that she was 'a commoner who captured the king's heart' are wrong; she wasn't#But emphasizing that ACTUALLY she was part of the gentry with a well-born mother and just leaving it at that as some sort of “GOTCHA!”#is equally if not more irresponsible and entirely irrelevant to discussions of the actual time period we're studying.#Elizabeth *was* considered unworthy and unacceptable as queen precisely because of her lower social status#her father and brother had literally been derided as social-climbers by Salisbury Warwick and Edward himself just a few years earlier#the Woodvilles' marriage prospects clearly reflected their status (and 'place') in society: EW herself had first married a knight and all#siblings married within the gentry to people of a similar status. compare that to the prestigious marriages arranged after EW became queen#Elizabeth having a lower social status was not 'created' by propaganda against her; it fueled and shaped propaganda against her#that's a huge huge difference; it's irresponsible and silly to conflate the two as I've seen a recent tumblr post cavalierly do#like I said she was considered too low-born to be queen long before any of the propaganda Warwick Clarence or Richard put out against her#and the fact that Elizabeth was targeted on the basis of her social status was in itself novel and unprecedented#no queen before her was ever targeted in such a manner; Clearly Elizabeth was considered notably 'different' in that regard#(and was quite literally framed as the enemy and destroyer of 'the old royal blood of this realm' and all its actual 'inheritors' like..)#ngl this sort of discussion always leaves a bad taste in my mouth#because it's not like England and France (et all) are at war or consider each other mortal enemies in the 21st century#both are in fact western european imperialistic nations who've been nothing but a blight to the rest of the world including my own country#yet academic historians clearly have no problem contextualizing the xenophobia that medieval foreign queens faced as products of their time#and sympathizing with them accordingly (Eleanor of Provence; Joan of Navarre; Margaret of Anjou; etc)(at least by their own historians)#Nor were foreign queens the “worst” targets of xenophobia: that was their attendants or in times of war commoners or soldiers#who actually had to bear the brunt of English aggression#queens were ultimately protected and guaranteed at least a veneer of dignity and respect because of their royal status#yet once again historians and people have no problem contextualizing and understanding their difficulties regardless of all this#so what is the problem with contextualizing the classism *Elizabeth* faced and understanding *her* difficulties?#why is the prejudice against her constantly diminished & downplayed? (Ive never even seen any historian directly refer to it as 'classism')#after all it was *Elizabeth* who was more vulnerable than any queen before her due to her lack of powerful foreign or national support#and Elizabeth who faced a form of propaganda distinctly unprecedented for queens. it SHOULD be emphasized more.
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thank you for the tag @fxreflyes this is so cute, except the format is trying to hinder my propensity to ramble, so i’ve rectified this in the tags lmao
i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child
no pressure tags for @static-radio-ao3 @inevitablestars @itsjaywalkers @carniferous @orbitfalls @transsexualpriest @futurequibblerjournalist <333
#i'm like 5'7 i think. fun fact i used to wear glasses when i was like 11 bc all my friends were getting glasses and i wanted some too so i#lied to my optician. lol good times. don't actually need glasses tho soooo.#this is me coming out as a natural blonde guys….. like my hair hasn’t been blonde in a good year or so and it hasn’t been my natural blonde#in like three/four years but still in my heart of hearts i identify as a blonde. like i get confused when people don't count me as one#i have my ears and nose pierced and i would love a tattoo but unfortunately i have both a fear of needles and commitment issues so.#not sure if that’ll ever happen… would be very hot and sexy tho. also i'm one of those freaks with green eyes lol it's appaza quite rare#my hair is currently like dark dark brown… have been getting the itch to dye it again tho like a kinda reddish colour idk yet we’ll see#i had braces for AAGES. i have freckles in the summer and i paint my nails whenever i remember to. rn they’re a very chipped lilac colour#i think i have a resting bitch face but i can never tell tbf like it might be more of a resting 'dead to the world' face lmao#okay technically i don’t play an instrument anymore! but in the past i’ve dabbled with the cello the oboe and the xylophone. singing too#spanish and italian baybee although ig if this means like fluently then that’s not me but this is literally my degree it’s my whole brand#yes i like to read but also the only things ive read in like the last few months have been either books in spanish/italian for my degree#literary criticism for said span/ital books and… fanfic. so. also i like writing but it's my worst enemy rn the thoughts aren't working :(#i have many best friends that i’ve known for years!!!! in fact i've known some of my friends for like my entire life it's very cute#okay sorry for rambling i can never help myself and i also literally could go on icl like there was Some restraint applied here#kara lore#bc there's quite a lot of it in this one lol#tag games
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Highlights from my EU4 Austria game up to 1600s
#og post#eu4#pdx games#not in order but still funny#Had the worst RNG I didn't get any Personal Unions peacefully and had to fight wars to get Milan & Hungary & Bohemia & Brandenburg as PUs#Burgundy fully evaded my grasp and all of this got me so hated I got excommunicated and lost the election to Fucking Pfalz#I'm calling them the German name cuz it's more cringe then The Palatenate#(3 of the 7 electors are literally Theocracies what do you expect. Excommunication and the religious league wars were the end of me)#I got so pissed I switched to the Protestant side of the 30 year war and curbstomped Pfalz but only to sign the Treaty of Westphalia#Allowing me to gitch out and become an Easter Orthodox Christian member of the HRE (since it's peace between ALL Christians after all)#I can't even begin to explain how funny this is. Everyone picked sides based on me being Catholic!#When I switched sides all my allies were my enemies and all my enemies were my allies now.#Everyone lined up to kick my ass and I joined the queue. Then we beat up on some kid instead of me#Anyhow I also married into England without an heir and just... Got a Tudor as heir. The game pesters me to bring back the Habsburgs but no#It's better this way cause then I can try to take control over all the other Tudors (they hate me so that'd be hard)#England rebelled during my orthodox rebellion and so became an independent state seperate from Britian. Those are now two distrinct entitie#There's a England and there's a UK but they're nowhere near each other#And England wants to colonize overseas despit being landlocked. Like... No. Go back to paying me taxes!
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despite it all, I remain an Iridikron = Zorix truther.
#it all fits. zorix was a very good friend of neltharion despite neltharion being. neltharion.#all we know about zorix's death and the circumstances around it is that neltharion was there#but neltharion isn't a pov character in dawn of the aspects so all we have is neltharion saying Zorix died during a timeskip#however we know Zorix was part of the primal dragon leadership (and his death paved the way for Talonixa's absolute takeover) and that Tyr#- was scouting the primal dragons at that point for ones amenable to his intentions for dragonkind.#we also know that Tyr was actively experimenting on primal dragons and creating his own elemental primals sometime around then#we also also know that Tyr wasn't above interfering in their affairs and lives/deaths if he thought it would be to his benefit#so all I'm saying is#imagine being left to die by your best friend. getting your ass experimented on by some freak with a mustache. and then learning that your#best friend proceeded to try and assassinate your wife & could be blamed for her death with only a few mental gymnastics#i too would encourage my brother to start a revolution that i then coup and install my sisters who like me better as leadership in#War of the Scaleborn failed when it only tackled a single one of Tyr's three million crimes against primal dragonkind & forgot about all of#dawn of the aspects incl. pivotal characters like Talonixa and the fact that Neltharion -literally tried to assassinate the leader of#unified dragonkind because he thought she was too arrogant-#but mostly I'm leaning on the concept of Tyr's playing god producing his own worst enemies
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That feeling when you have to do an adult thing and the anxiety makes you feel sick.
#its literally not even something I have to pay for#but I still feel all twisted up#i'm my own worst enemy
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some game design thinky thoughts.
#it speaks#da gameplay complaints so weird to me. which i say as someone whose favorite combat was origins.#i mean 1 like i just enjoy a lot of different types of games. including crpg style tactical and including action#and inclulding me style arpg#but fr like people just keep saying over and over 'only three abilities???????????' like bro did u know in dai#that one of the warrior abilities was COMBAT ROLL.#a lot of things like that were previously abiliities and can in real time combat become different kinds of mechanics#and lemme say as someone who never invests in combat roll i spend a lot of time in dai fighting dragons by fruitlessly jumping in the hope#that THIS time i might be able to dodge the incoming attack i can clearly see coming (i can't)#idk like the point is obv if you don't like action-oriented combat whatever but complaining about design changes which actually serve#to make GOOD action-oriented combat is wild to me.#love that it's still rtwp my beloved. love giving commands to followers. love that it's built around synergies and that the wheel actually#tells you things like detonation combos and enemy resistances because i love taking advantage of stuff like that but find often in games#that information is overly obscured or a hassle to discover#and if i in real time action combat had 20 different abilities to choose from while still needing to dodge out of the way and pop off#an attack- that would be at worst overwhelming and distracting and at best feel like more than i need.#and at the same time! the skill tree looks great. best i've seen from da (and iterated from other franchises well imo) and still looks#plenty deep and customizable. way more than me's five little blocks or whatever#and wrt to party control yeah i'll miss it i like it a lot!#but again for this style of combat i literally don't think you need it and that's okay!#the game feeling better for what it is is okay!#even in dai like i have a lot of moments in that game where it's actually more a nuisance than anything else to fully switch control#to use an ability. e.g. i usually spec solas out with spirit magic and i almost always will fully enter the tactical cam just to#tell him to cast a barrier. or a revive. or dispel some demons before they spawn in#like i'm literally already just telling him to use abilities and then i switch back to me. and in that game there are def times where i hav#thought yeah this would actually be smoother if i could just tell him to use it +position it!#i spend the most time party switching in origins esp on higher difficulties but obv the game is most fine tuned for that#and you can play through the entire series as if it were an arpg if you want. that's what i did when i was a kid lmfao#well anyways. that's my two cents! i think it'll be really engaging! from what i've seen the game director isn't talking out of her ass!#vir dirthera
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Just scrolled through the main tags for a few minutes and I just have to say... If your driver did well but you're still wishing that another driver's engine or car blew up, you're just an asshole.
#f1#formula 1#formula one#there's so many drivers i can name that died the way you're hoping for your behated to#have some respect for their names and for their memories#and they shouldn't have to be named for you to be like yeah wishing for crashes or literal death to befall a driver you don't actually know#f1 is far safer than it used to be but the risk is still there you cannot claim guaranteed safety#and trust me you don't want to be watching the day it does go wrong#and as someone who lost a loved one in a crash you don't want any part of it trust me#i wouldn't wish it on anyone including my worst enemy#i don't get people like this#especially when their driver did well like sounds to me you hate your behated more than you ever loved your driver &that's just sad&pathet#*pathetic#anyways I'm going to see if i can catch a rewatch#not looking forward to most of my favs dnfing but i need to see the chaos unfold for myself
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One of the biggest reasons I try to recruit all the characters in Three Houses isn’t just because I don’t want to kill them, but because if I do, I still have to go back to the monastery afterward. I still have to pass by their dorm rooms full of their belongings and know that’s where they spent their alone time and where they slept. I still have to pass by the spots they frequented the most. It’s not just the sad dialogue of characters reacting to the deaths, but passing by the spots I vividly remembered them hanging out at.
I realized this most in my first playthrough when I didn’t have the chance to recruit everyone and I accidently killed Raphael at Gronder. I didn’t have the enemy attack range turned on so I didn’t realize he was in range of attacking.
During an exploration, I was looking for Ignatz who was, unfortunately, in his dorm room... and I walked into the wrong room and into Raphael’s after he was killed and man that fuckin’ sucked! Feels bad but like, multiplied with big numbers, u kno??? ???
YES, IT’S A VIDEO GAME. YES, I HAVE HUMAN BEING FEELINGS ABOUT IT.
#DCB Comments#I also didn't get to recruit Ferdie in my first playthrough which is what I mean about#characters mentioning others dying. like Dorothea saying ''we killed Ferdie'' didn't hit nearly as hard as#walking into now dead Raphael's room and seeing all his stuff still lying around the way it was left when everyone had to flee#AND THE WORST PART? it's not like I MEANT to go into his room and stew on it. I completely accidentally walked into it#because I was trying to find/talk to Ignatz who was in his own room. MIND YOU after that I made it a point to NOT#walk into Ferdie's room and have that same thought process! because like. Raphael isn't one of my faves#and it was a huge Feels BAD Man moment walking into HIS room#forget if I walked into the room of someone I loved!!! I did try to recruit him but it just didn't work fast enough#I BARELY got Caspar in that run bc it was the final month which is only two weeks and I think I actually#didn't even get him the first week. I'm pretty sure I got him on the absolute last week so literally on#the absolute last possible exploration for recruiting. I had Linhardt already so I was hellbent on getting Caspar#bc I didn't want them to have to be enemies. basically I'd watched the game online already before playing#bc I didn't own the game or a Switch for a while after the game was out. I knew the spot you fight them at#and that they're both in the same chapter as enemies if not recruited which meant that if I only got Linhardt#that Caspar would be alone as my enemy and he wouldn't even have his best buddy there AND they'd be enemies#also tho Raphael just hit hard because I may not consider him a fave at all but he was still a nice dude you know??? ??? ???#like he's just a regular nice guy vibing and like... realizing that gentle nice man was killed in war#and walking into his old room was SADS. very big sads#DCB Three Houses Stuff
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I just saw ANOTHER post lamenting this change, so I'm just gonna say "fuck it" and make a how to do the thing post, and if I'm misunderstanding the outrage... lol, this is tumblr, I'm sure someone will tell me.
Currently, if you want to go to a post in the middle of a reblog thread, you have to click the empty space in what I call the reblog header. The reblog header is the space that holds a user's name and reblog details, and on desktop, it turns a different color when you move your cursor over it. It's this space:
It doesn't change colors on mobile, obviously, because no cursor, but I think tapping is a little more intuitive on mobile anyway and afaik this particular thing has been this way here for a while now...? Whatever. Anyway, that's how you get to a mid-thread reblog!
(I actually do kinda like this new setup. It's not perfect, it can be annoying if someone's URL is long or if I accidentally click "Follow" instead of the header space. But overall, the space to click into a prior reblog is bigger now and I like that. I don't think I'll have to worry as much about mouse precision or drowsy coordination issues, which is nice. Maybe I'll be able to use the desktop version more.)
However, this means that in order to see "prev tags," you apparently have to click into the notes view and scroll until you find them. That's annoying for those who want to see them, and I can't blame anyone for being irritated. If you're new here you may be surprised to learn "prev tags" is fairly recent, so my recommendation (if you're looking for an alternative) is to put the actual tags from the user you're reblogging from, instead. This was normal prior to the "prev tags" trend if you wanted to share tags without screenshotting them, and it seems like tumblr has made it super easy now. The mobile app now automatically suggests the previous tags, and on desktop, they show up in a dropdown when you click to tag your post. Personally, I like to put "<-borrowing your tags bc funny" or "<-stole your tags for truth" or something right after, so I don't feel like I'm taking credit for someone else's phrasing. But either way, it's handy for your followers to be able to read the tags you liked without having to click to a different blog.
I'm hoping this particular change will be seen as useful after the rocky adjustment period is over.
All this being said, I personally like these particular changes, but I wish Tumblr would not roll out changes as rapidly as they seem to be recently. Either change everything at the same time or give it a rest, holy shlamoly! I stopped using Facebook because it seemed like every time I opened it, something was different, and it became jarring and uncomfortable to try to use. I'm starting to have a similar feeling about tumblr, and I don't like it.
#i suspect the prev tags trend is the reason for this change tbh#a tagging system is an organizational system and 'prev tags' is literal junk for organization purposes#even in conversational or informal context#they made copying tags super convenient? and using prev tags obnoxiously INconvenient?#like......i dunno. do the math. 🤷#doesn't mean you gotta be happy about it of course; I'm just saying. i bet that's why#honestly I'm just looking forward to not having to click through to a blog i don't care about just to see what the prev tags were#usually i don't even bother but occasionally someone will talk about the previous tags in THEIR tags#and i wanna know context. so. looking forward to that maybe not being a thing#anyways#dal is a text post#tumblr update#also i don't have hand tremors or anything like that but when I'm tired oh my god#precision is my enemy lol#really looking forward to just. header click! yay!#that's gonna be so nice on desktop omg#but uh. as long as I'm yelling in the tags? prev tags can die in a fire and i will cheerfully roast marshmallows over its flickering corpse#it's a mildly annoying trend at worst but it does not belong with the way this website works#just tumblr things#new user
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..."ok i'm gonna stop doomscrolling & focus on work"
except work today involves looking at cybersecurity guys' linkedin profiles to correct the bios they sent bc some asshole simply ran it through google translate instead of getting a proper translation into spanish or simply sending the original and asking us to do it...
and they keep posting the world's most rancid israel apologist / fanboy takes...... and the only pushback in their comments from other engineers is blatantly violently near cartoonishly antisemitic!
#viitalks#a little nauseous w rage ngl#boy am i in the wrong industry lmao#a better world involves NONE of these 'jobs'...#literal mercenaries for the wealthy & violent & powerful........#god it's so fucking gross#and here i am designing their little graphics#pathetic ass propaganda painting the folks they're up against as scawwy hooded criminal hackers#when i know perfectly well a sizable portion of their worst enemies are transcatgirls in LED lit blahaj dens#im gonna get out soon i prommy im gonna stop working for the biggest monopoly owner in my country#and start helping folks customize their meatsuit w art put up paintings in their figurative temple's walls the way i was fuckin meant to#and it won't make a huge difference in the world but. ironically i'm gonna be making folks bleed but doing no Harm#goddamnit why is tech SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARGHHHHHHHHHHH#YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE ANAKIN#-_-
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tag drop!
#thought • my insecurities are hurtin' me.#asks • don't ask me how i've been.#instagram • and i bet everybody here is just as insincere.#text • and i'm callin' everybody that i know.#literally • i'm the worst of my enemies.#reflection • but i'm still learning to love myself.#aesthetic • is it really that strange if i always wanna change?#musings • can't shake the feeling that i'm just bad at healing.#tweet • i told you i'd spill my guts.#attire • i'm kinda like a prettier jesus.#moodboard • i'm in my own little golden age.#playlist • and i just wanna sing at the top of my lungs.#hc • i feel like your manic pixie dream girl.#starters • and i'm sorry if i'm just a little too much.#conversations • i talk shit then i bite my tongue.#face to face • just a corner of all the madness.
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the last thing i need to be doing is writing / planning another desert duo au... but will i be able to help myself? who knows
#i am literally my own worst enemy#birdie thoughts#i'm cooking a vigilante au (hotguy/cuteguy) but i'm struggling
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#it's so fucking Exhausting be your own worst enemy#never get a fucking break#stuck with this stubborn mf 24/7/365#like am i really going to just be living Like This until i'm finally put out of my fucking misery one day huh#i keep everyone at arm's length at the closest#bc i never want to let anyone in enough to hurt me like everyone from my past did#i complain about being single but do literally fucking nothing to remedy that bc again i don't trust people#(which really in itself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy)#i get high basically every single day bc i can't stand being mentally present#''getting better'' is such a nebulous concept with no firm goalpost that i just. really wonder if it's even possible#constantly told ''it gets better'' but i've yet to see any real tangible proof of that#it still feels like it only gets new kinds of worse never better#what's even the point of ''getting better'' if i still have to wake up every single fucking day in a capitalist soul-sucking hellscape#negative#honestly don't even know what i'm going to do once my cat dies bc lets be honest she's the only thing keeping me alive most days#and at absolute best she has maybe another 10 years so like. the clock is ticking isn't it
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#pinksparkl complains#hate emotions rn. all of them#they just hurt so much and I'm tired#I've been angry all day and literally just cried my eyes out for 10 minutes#all of my problems stem from 3 bad decisions. 2 from willful stubbornness and a 3rd out of fear.#i thought i had chosen correctly. i didn't#i feel so damn trapped and i can't get out#i know I'll probably feel 'fine' about most of this in a day or two#i hate hormones...#but the truth remains#i am my own worst enemy
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Idk I just really like that Twilight's reaction to being told "Your wife used to be a prostitute!" is to go like
and proceed to say how honourable and worthy of respect her dedication, self-sacrifice and mental fortitude are, and how we're shown he actually means that.
And then my girl Yor sees his reaction and hears his words and for the first time in her life she goes like "This is a man who literally just met me and has no connection to me yet he not only understands my position, he's also willing to bring himself out there and have my back when other people have free bait to judge me" and like damn how important that was to her, to have someone (who doesn't owe his survival to her like Yuri does) actually see her and respect her choices and have the absolute BEST of faiths in her. Like, what Camilla says there has the societal power to make her look like a pariah. Yet this dude comes over and without knowing anything about her, he vouches for her and immediately assumes her reasons were noble and altruistic. And though he doesn't know what profession he's actually vouching for, he's completely right in his assumption about her intentions, and considering how easily the general public judges sex workers, it's no surprise this support gives Yor the courage to believe Loid will understand her and won't think bad of her if she ever disappears on them due to her work, because he's open-minded enough for his first and immediate assumption about her is that she has good intentions.
And I just wanna SCREAM because she has absolutely no idea how little he will judge her about her assassin gig. She already considers herself lucky she's come across someone who is compassionate enough to think the best out of someone who works in a profession that is not considered "morally acceptable" by the public. But she has no idea the actual jackpot she's hit, because his own profession is far more dark and sinister yet he still has the kindness and empathy in his heart to understand people who do the same as he does.
Like, that's it with her character, isn't it? She sacrificed her own youth and morality to help Yuri grow up and be educated, and that caused him to idolize her, and because he was the only family she had left, she has been desperate to not cause any of her ties with him to break. But it also caused her impostor syndrome, and she had no confidence in any of her abilities aside from killing and cleaning up after her work, because she lives in a misogynistic society that is suspicious of unmarried women (like, that judgment alone, considering unmarried men don't experience such scrutiny, can be enough to damage a woman's psyche) and because she has been working under a man cruel enough to hire orphaned teenagers as assassins and nearly kill them in tests of their abilities ever since she was a teenager. For her it was either "I'm either perfect in something or I'm completely useless and I deserve people's judgment". Because if Yuri sees she doesn't have the perfect record, she thinks he will be horrified and she'll lose the ties to her last remaining family. And she will think she deserved that. If her killing skills waver in the slightest, she will be killed, either by enemies or by the Shopkeeper doing his little "tests". And she will think she deserved that. And if she doesn't abide by the society's expectations, she will at best be judged and mocked (for not cooking at home) and at worst get arrested (for being suspected as a spy). And she will think she deserved that.
Yet again, this stranger comes along, is told she's worked a socially shameful profession, knows she's shy and with so few connections that she can't even find someone to act as her pretend boyfriend for a party, and he supports her. And then he finds out how socially unskilled she is, how terrible she is at cooking, how she can't even pretend to kiss him for their mutual benefit, how she has the tendency to get so drunk she accidentally kicks him unconscious... And those things that she considers fatal flaws of her, he says are parts of her that she doesn't need to pretend don't exist. That's who she is, and there's nothing to fix, and she can just accept them without feeling bad or ashamed of it, that pretending she's someone else, someone perfect, will only make her miserable and exhausted.
And like... fuck. How can she not feel glad she got to marry that guy?
And how much will her heart break when she finds out he's a spy and will immediately doubt all the supportive words he's told her? And how astonishing will it be when she finds out that he actually meant pretty much everything he's told her, and that he really resonates with her and believes in her?
(anime only here, don't spoil me for the manga)
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