#literal prince charming in ever era

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

#Jonathan Bailey Stop Being So Damn Charming Challenge

[terrainofheartfelt]

and now, a playlist:

Mister Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

or,

FirstPrince (Taylor's Version)

shoutout to my beloved cherry @blairwaldcrf my friend in rwrb and my enabler in everything related to the two himbos above.

shoutout to this post specifically for their intrepid scholarship

listen at the unlisted youtube playlist here

Track list and annotations under the cut.

✨tracks✨

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things They broke an $80k wedding cake. and alex is such a brat about it. and holds a grudge like none other 

Gorgeous Alex hoarding that magazine cover of Henry. Henry is literally so gorgeous the bisexual jumps out

Teardrops on my Guitar  Henry-coded the only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart I MEAN

Untouchable The. YEARNING. I want you but I cannot risk telling you so you please tell me say it first please say it first please. Ever thought about that bros being bros visit from Henry’s perspective? Hmm? I didn’t know you wear glasses

gold rush Long distance bro-ship. Just chattin and textin. Gay crush gay crush gay crush. Watching each other’s public love lives and seething. Almost jump into the fantasy but then letting it fade to gray. or as the british say, grey. 

Stay Beautiful The constant texting. Each one finds a way to be the other’s highlight of his day. But we were ever so careful dear. Alex being america’s sweetheart and Henry being totally gone for him

Foolish One Henry kiddoooooo. The prince with the heart on the outside of his chest. 

Forever Winter before their relationship is even romantic, they are a safe place for each other. Like christmas. and thanksgiving. 

You’re on Your Own, Kid NYE. Henry’s gayass breaking point, searching the party of better bodies and wanting wanting wanting.

Tied Together with a Smile The prince charming act be coming undone!

Message in a Bottle Alex’s bisexual crisis. He knows henry likes him, and it’s kinda frightening, standing here waiting, and that asshole won’t return his calls so he’s gotta trick him into a state dinner at the white house.

Treacherous A state dinner of antici………PATION. And a makeout in the drawing room. As one does.

Electric Touch  alex waiting after dinner in his white house bedroom all nervouslike

Snow on the Beach First hookup. Soft disbelief, because you wanting me tonight feels impossible. Snow in DC (a swamp) is as weird as snow on a beach imo. 

I Can See You FWB era. If you could only see all the things that happen inside my head. At galas and polo matches and wimbledon and whatnot

Wildest Dreams The henry journey. This will end and it will wreck him but right now it’s beautiful. Also this is the song for hooking up in a stable post polo

Delicate Secret relationship. Boys are bad with feelings. Oh damn never seen that color blue. I pretend you’re mine all the damn time. Waking up with each other in Paris speaking of: 

Paris No I didn’t see the news. Too busy getting dicked down by the most eligible bachelor in the Western world. What who said that.

Lavender Haze Don’t read into my melancholia. Let’s just stay in this gay suspended animation. This secret bubble. It’s safe here. 

22 They literally spend Alex’s 22nd birthday together you know he was feelin’ 22. Pretty sure the novel says that actually

I Think He Knows It’s fun and flirty and the feelings are creeping in at the edges, but not enough that they have to face them

Jump Then Fall Alex is a smitten kitten

So It Goes… LA gala. All eyes are on them but as separate entities. Magician, illusionist. Trying to play it chill but being utterly incapable. 

Starlight dancing in the club in LA. Alex getting carried away by queer joy

Dress Their night together in LA. their secret moments in a crowded they got no idea about me and you. Their hands are shaking from holding back from each other! Say his name and everything just stops! They don’t want each other like best friends! Pez only bought those custom kimonos so they could take em off! Ah ah ah ahhhh! Carve your name into Alex’s bedpost, Henry babe. 

Hey Stephen cutesy emailing. Hey henry you blew my mind in LA last week u up? I can’t help it if you look like an angel/achilles/james bond

I’m Only Me when I’m with You Sweet email exchange post LA. I’ll be damned but I miss you

…Ready for It? (BloopPop remix) Henry says In the middle of the night in my dreams you should see the things we do….Let the games begin

Glitch Wimbledon. Fucking love doing things out of spite. I’m not even sorry. Henry will go back eventually to dudes to give him nothing but for now there’s this 

Sparks Fly DNC. Henry really dropped everything to come see alex at the convention. The kinda reckless that should send him running, but he kinda knows that he won’t get far. Give him something that’ll haunt him when he’s not around, Alex. 

Everything Has Changed Telling madam president mom. Do you feel forever about him? Henry making a point to be there for him is alex’s emotional tipping point. 

State of Grace Time between dnc and lakehouse is their state of grace. No leaving, no leaking. It can’t last but its so good. Mosaic broken hearts, but brave and wild and I never saw you coming and I’ll never be the same

cowboy like me Alex texas boy. The reflective nature he turns on henry once he’s fired from the campaign. Thinking about that word forever

Wonderland Never worse but never better. In all their searching of the world they won’t find anything else that feels like what they have. yk?

Cruel Summer summer vacay at the lake house. the darkness approacheth. I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you but here I am sealing my fate over and over again 

You Are in Love ‘you’re my best friend.’ and you knew what is was: Alex is so in love he could die

willow Alex at the dock like he is begging for Henry to take his hand and wreck his plans. He’s like that’s my MAN.

illicit affairs it dies a million little times. like by a lake in the moonlight. henry sees the truth when it shows and alex gets angry because you showed me colors you know I can’t see with anyone else 

Bye Bye Baby henry fleeing texas. You took me home but you just couldn’t keep me

Midnight Rain He wanted it comfortable I wanted that pain. I broke his heart ‘cause he was nice 

Hits Different when alex thinks about the sham the firm will make henry go through. I pictured you with other girls “in love” then threw up on the street

august refrain of henry. It was never mine. You weren’t mine to lose. This was over before it even began

Breathe Separated. Neither of them doing well. 

exile alex obliviousness meets henrys stubbornness. the imagery of nations and homelands

Anti-Hero henry has it’s me high I’m the problem it’s me at tea time everybody agrees disease. no cure but it can be treated 

Renegade alex working up a head of steam because he just wants to say get your shit together so I can love you 

Maroon your body comes back to me in dreams and I wake with your memory over me that’s a real fucking legacy!!!!

my tears ricochet alex has literally never had it within himself to go with grace. Ever. In his life. Bless him. Screaming at skies. Stealing lullabies. You know how it is. 

How You Get the [Boy] Narration of the storming of Kensington Palace. Alex being like I want you for worse or for better I would wait forever and ever

The Archer Henry prepared for a lot but he never prepared for Alex staying

Love Story  The dramatics the mythologizing of one’s life the I want you / Then fucking have me like “baby, just say yes” also romeo and juliet and pyramus & thisbe are the same fucking story!!!!

Stay Stay Stay Morning after when Henry comes into the room with coffee. How he could have a lifetime of fine but he’d rather have this. 

Holy Ground Dancing in the V&A

Today Was a Fairytale Lots of this music plays with the idea of fairytales and royalty and the push and pull idealism has with reality and it just fits so well. Because. Prince. &c.

Come Back…Be Here Having the big conversation and then alex having to leave and go back to dc. The long distance drama. This is falling in love in the cruelest way.

End Game choosing to do this thing for real. knowing what they’re up against. Big reputation big reputation ooh you and me would be a big conversation 

Labyrinth oops they both caught feelings. Henry thought the plane was going down how’d he turn it right around 

Cornelia Street The sacred new beginnings that became their religion aka those crazy 48 hours holed up in Kensington. Tender and fragile and amazing

mirrorball henry’s fable. His shattered pieces and the peasant boy with chin dimples who is not like the regulars the masquerade revelers. never been a natural all he does is just try try try

Paper Rings I thought you were a nuisance but whoops you're now the air I breathe. In paper rings and picture frames and dirty dreams

Timeless The phrase ‘see attached bibliography’ is the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me. All the quotes and recitations they send each other in their emails. 

cardigan The intimate email conversations. Always wanting to know more about the other. 

Lover  The ease with which they say I love you post storming of the castle.

Out of the Woods The almost reveal and the cover up dates with June & Nora to make a cover. The hiding in an alleyway in the car. When the sun came up you were looking at me.

False God Rumors aside they are both In This and that shalt not change. Still worship this love. They might just get away with it.

invisible string it all began at the olympics. All the winding paths of our public lives one single thread of gold tied me to you, &c.

Mastermind Henry saying he’s loved Alex the entire goddamned time! Newsflash asshole (affectionate)

hoax Sería una mentira, porque no sería él. The only hoax he believes in! He feels forever about it!

peace The last email sent before the leak. Give yourself away sometimes sweetheart there’s so much of you

I Know Places The something that happens when everybody finds out. The vultures circling dark clouds.

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince Alex and the leak fallout. The whispers in the hallway. American stories burning before me & high fives between bad guys. 

I Did Something Bad The email leak. There’s the harshness of the trauma, but there’s also madam president mom going “fuck it.” Don’t tell me this song didn’t pull henry through. Avoiding plans and sucking cock. Don’t knock it til you try it. Go ahead and light me up

the lakes (original version) I like this mix because it’s more ~cinematic~ to me. And something about henry not being cut out for these cynical clones and hunters with cell phones yk?

Run The phone call from air force one post leak. The eye in the storm

Sweet Nothing It’s them in the music room of Kensington. It’s alex “can’t let anyone know how much he needs” claremont-diaz admitting he’s just too soft for all of it

Slut if they’re gonna talk shit, we may as well be together in public. It might be worth it for once

You Need to Calm Down Shade never made anybody less gay, fake elizabeth ii. Why are you mad when you can be glaad, pip?

King of My Heart  Wordplay on royalty words, yk. “That’s the bravest son of a bitch I’ve ever met” yk.

Change The crowds in front of Buckingham, alex’s speech from the white house. History, huh?

London Boy We hold this track listing to be self evident

Ours The contrast of the outer life and inner life. Private relationship  under large public scrutiny. 

It’s Nice to Have a Friend It’s about the best friends to best friends AND lovers.

Call It What You Want He wears his signet ring on a chain round his neck not because he owns me because he really knows me, &c

Karma Everything surrounding finding the source of the leak and Rafael Luna double agent and the fact that Alex and Henry can both say that Karma is their Boyfriend. 

Long Live Election night in Austin.

New Year’s Day The mythical place NYE occupies in Alex’s public life and now his private one with Henry. The Balls Out Bonanza is great but now it’s about what comes after. 

[possessionisamyth]

Can you frame Leon/Ashley as both romantic and platonic? I personally enjoy them both ways because i can just see it like that BUT i am dead curious to know how you'd frame it. Also because i think the doors about their dynamic were left open by the devs so no definitive, really.

This isn't meant to step on anyone's toes about preferences or anything, i just wanna see another perspective from someone who appears to be objective in this hellspace of a fandom AND because I'm tired of insistence that "it's canon" being shoved around for literally about any ship that i ever engaged with being pushed around solely for pointless ship wars.

If you want ofc, do share your thoughts.

Okay, so, uh, you're not going to like my answer and it probably won't sound very objective. I'm sorry in advance since I don't really ship Leon and Ashley. I can absolutely see the potential there. They wouldn't have framed the remake with the prince and knight fairy tale costumes if that wasn't their intention. Heck, people wouldn't be replacing Ashley with Luis in game mods if their story wasn't coated with romantic undertones.

Platonic Relationship:

Both in the OG and the Remake, I can see them getting along. OG Leon would definitely be more teasing of OG Ashley by mimicking her slang, giving her silly nicknames, and making sure she's okay. He'd be the obnoxious bestie that she'd call asking for advice and he deadpans "break up with him or I'll do it for you" and nothing else.

Remake Leon would be not quieter, but softer? with his treatment of her. He'd still tell his bad jokes, and he'd do all the chivalry nonsense of holding doors open for her, and making sure her order is correct when they order food, and listening to her, but it's all about showing that he's mindful of her and he cares about her. He's definitely aware the way people show they value her well-being is from a job only perspective, and she appreciates him being genuine and sincere. She tries to give him the same benefit of the doubt, and her own style of care.

Romantic Relationship:

You're going to hate me, but to me OG Leon is in his slut era during RE4. He's also still very much under the thumb of her father at this time, so he'd have enough tact to wait til Benford is out of office before doing an interest check with Ashley. Everything would be going great until they have sex, and it'd be so medicore she'd tell him they're better off as friends. That's why he's so standoffish and weird in Degeneration.

Remake Leon would also wait until Benford is out of office, but that's because any publicity is a security risk for his position. Dating the president's daughter would get his face in a lot of places he could no longer stealth through. Since the general US populous stops giving a fuck about any president once they're out of office unless there's a scandal, that would be the safest time to try a relationship with her. So he goes for it, and he really tries being that caring prince charming/knight/insert luis given nickname to her because he thinks that's what she wants. It is not what she wants at all. She just wants him to be himself. Either they work it out or, they don't. Either way, Ashley is mature enough to realize that the fantasy her attraction turned Leon into when she was 20, is not nor has probably ever been the case for who he is. She likes him better now.

[its-a-swift-kloss]

Uh, people are a huge fan of Travis telling his big boss the NFL to chill out with the Taylor stuff because football sports bros are being insanely disgusting and misogynistic towards Taylor right now because they hate that the NFL has been showing way too much Taylor footage instead of the football game they're paying money to watch.

People love that Travis is trying to get the target the NFL put on Taylor's back for greasy nasty sports bros to attack off of her back, him doing stuff like this and acting like he thinks being around Taylor is cool instead of acting like being around Taylor or even just talking about Taylor in public is gross and embarrassing the way her past beards acted has literally made him the favorite person that Taylor's ever dated of both Swifties and the general public and it's only been two weeks.

Taylor and Tree aren't going to do jackshit about Travis being a G and making even people who are annoyed by how much coverage Traylor is getting appreciate that he's acting like he's the perfect match for Taylor except maybe send him a gift basket and VIP tickets for Eras Tour at a convenient date for him and his schedule because he's being the best beard any woman could ask for 😭

I'm well aware swifties worship this guy rn. The thing is, he spoke about the NFL overdoing it, but he was the one who wouldn't shut up about girlie in the first place. Then he addresses media coverage - as if he actually wants it to stop lol -, but defending her from the disgusting comments men are making all around?? Nope, not one word. Sports fans are not only saying how annoyed they are Taylor is everywhere now (sometimes more than football at that), but they're making sexual comments, demanding freaking a sex tape! Making all kinds of nasty graphic assumptions. That he's not interested in addressing, of course. But keep talking about him, swifties! Keep watching his games, keep buying his stuff. Go watch his documentary! Because he's the new Prince Charming, I guess. It's not a PR stunt, nope. All the media outlets are just joking around!

[pagesofanewstory]

V; Main - Takes place in New Orleans, present day. Lorenzo is a historian by trade and a blacksmith and actor combatant by hobby.

V; Royal - Takes place in a fantasy world of some sort. Lorenzo is the youngest prince of a rather ruthless empire. He knows his fate is to married off to some other kingdom as a means of forming a valuable alliance, but he dreams of either being swept off his feet by a dashing rogue or escaping of his own accord and seeking adventure. He values justice and liberty, yet is terrified of voicing such sentiments around his tyrant of a father, so he writes about them in hidden journals instead. His study of the blade, however, is nigh unparalleled, as fencing is his favorite art to study, with smithing being a close second.

V; Vampire - Instead of escaping the sinking boat with Tony, Lorenzo succumbed to his wounds earlier, blacking out. Tony tried to save him, but was also shot and nearly killed. Their saving grace came in the form of a mysterious figure who offered them immortality in exchange for cooperation. Desperate to save his friend, Tony accepted without hesitation. When Lorenzo awoke, he was in a crypt, sharing a tomb with Tony, and overwhelmed with a burning thirst. Both men had been transformed into vampires, their master soon explained; he was a handsome older gentleman by the name of Rafael, and spoke with a heavy Germanic accent. All he required as compensation was that they join his coven up in New England, traveling with his renaissance faire. They accepted, and have been with him ever since, though Lorenzo is already growing restless.

V; Wizard - Lorenzo’s life in America was cut short. Very. Very short. His father made a deal with the wrong man, see, and couldn’t follow through due to an unfortunate series of events. That man happened to be a dark wizard, an Englishman looking to open up a business in New York as a front for his black market magical artifact trading, and had naturally gravitated toward The Family for their discretion and wide network of contacts. Lorenzo’s father, however, had always been a tad too ambitious for his own good. He invested the wizard’s money in risky ventures, intending to triple it, but wound up losing almost all of it. Naturally, the wizard was furious. He set their mansion ablaze, intending to kill all of them and make an example of them to the rest of The Family; any other muggles who crossed him would meet the same fate.

Lorenzo had other ideas.

He’d always been a ‘gifted’ child, but on that night, his magic manifested in such a strong manner that it could no longer be ignored, especially with him being so young. The nine-year-old doused the flames with a scream loud enough to break all the windows, saving his family and unfortunately catching the wizard’s eye, both literally and figuratively. Vexx Salvatore knew raw talent when he saw it, and seeing as the boy had just cost him his left eye, punishment was in order. He ordered Lorenzo to come back to England with him, swearing to leave his family alone if he obeyed and threatening to kill them if he didn’t. Terrified, Lorenzo did as he was told. The two were quite literally in the wind before MACUSA could stop him, and given that Vexx had used an alias and alternate wand for the entirety of his time in America, there was no way to track them. They made it back to England unhindered, lying low in a small village near Bristol.

Shockingly, the remainder of Lorenzo’s childhood wasn’t too bad. Vexx was wealthy beyond belief, so he never wanted for anything, and the man was also a half decent teacher. By the time Lorenzo received his Hogwarts letter in 1990, he already knew most of the basics, and had learned to somewhat control his magic without a wand. He was sorted into Ravenclaw, and quickly proved to be a prodigy, excelling in Charms and Muggle Studies, and eager to learn all aspects of the history surrounding the Wizarding World. His interest in Renaissance Era weaponry surfaced during his third year, followed swiftly by an interest in blacksmithing in his fourth year. By his sixth, he had done extensive enough research in his free time to become a veritable expert on both subjects, much to Vexx’s amusement. In fact, Vexx was the one who taught him to fence, having been taught himself in his noble youth. Lorenzo still resented him greatly, and was eager for any chance to cross blades with him when they weren’t dueling magically. Vexx also urged him to continue practicing dueling in secret when he heard that Umbridge had taken the DADA position at Hogwarts; dark days were ahead, and he did not want his protégé to face them unprepared.

Lorenzo joined Dumbledore’s Army as a result, having been deeply angered and frightened by Cedric Diggory’s death the year before. He became an even more formidable duelist, though he could not help but feel like he was missing a few valuable skills. If his guardian and the imposter Moody were right, and the foes he’d have to face in the coming years were willing and able to use Unforgivable Curses, then he would have to learn them in order to counter them, as well as other ways of dispatching dark wizards. He refocused on his talents with Charms, specifically studying any that would aid him in stealth and swiftness. Vexx was happy to train him in such things over the summer, though he was admittedly surprised that Lorenzo was turning himself into an assassin, given the boy’s naturally heroic demeanor. Nearly two years later, he finally understood. Rumors spread about a shadow that had flitted through the battlefield whilst Voldemort’s forces laid siege to Hogwarts, dispatching Death Eaters left and right. Some said he used an antique saber, others insisted he killed with flashes of sickly green light. Either way, he was never identified, and never seen again after the battle. Confronting Lorenzo led to a final climactic duel between the two, during which Vexx finally confessed how proud he was of his boy, and how raising Lorenzo had made him a better man. He also apologized for his abhorrent actions when they first met, for destroying his home, and for separating him from his family. When Lorenzo’s blade leveled victoriously at his throat, he did not beg for mercy; Lorenzo gave it anyway, sparing him and aparating away. They haven’t spoken since.

Lorenzo now runs a small blacksmith shop in Bristol, making replica swords and armor for collectors, as well as jewelry, accessories, and tools. Any straggler Death Eaters who enter the city end up dead under mysterious circumstances, with no witnesses claiming to see who ran them through.

More to be added~

[bookofkatherine]

Loving Him? Easy. But Getting Along? That's Another Matter Altogether | Feat. Viggo Mortensen and Chris Hemsworth

Some of the most famous romance novels are based on the true stories of angels and their bloodlines throughout history.

When Viggo Mortensen recommended the book Prince Charming by Julie Garwood, I began reading it as soon as I could. I wanted to know all about our lives on other timelines.

But then Chapter 18 opened with a very interesting quote:

"Loving Lucas was easy. Getting along with the man was another matter altogether."

And I didn't think of Viggo. I thought of Thor.

The book may be about Viggo Mortensen and I on a timeline in the 1800's, but this quote reminds me of Chris Hemsworth and I... in every era on every timeline.

Example: King Aragorn's love life in The Lord of the Rings is based on Viggo and I during his time as king of Aragon, now a part of Spain. Our lovemaking was so powerful, it felled port after port, kingdom after kingdom.

Viggo and I would make our way up to the highest turret over a city and make love there. This unleashed an incredible amount of power, and attracted the Lord's faithful angels to come to our aide from far and wide.

To this day, Viggo still calls me "my queen." And every time, I turn bright red.

But Chris Hemsworth? He is Mr. Darcy and I'm Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice. You know how that romance went. He said I wasn't pretty enough to dance with when I first met him, and that my sister (Tatiana Mollman) was far prettier.

I agreed. I still do. She's insanely beautiful. She is the Fifth Element, after all. But, for him to say so out loud in public? Not a great start for us. God, we had a rocky beginning back then!

He's also Alexander the Great and I'm Queen Esther, a woman won by his conquest. I know how that romance went: lots of ropes and chains. I'd made the mistake of giggling when I first saw him...

But in my defense, he was trying to pretend to be a slave in order to infiltrate my Persian king's court. Chris Hemsworth, pretending to be a slave, in ancient Persia!? He looked ridiculous. His helmet didn't even fit on his head, it was so small. And he stood more than a foot taller than all the slaves around him. You would've giggled too!

Oh! The look Alexander (Chris Hemsworth) gave me that day in that court!!! I didn't give away his secret, but he was determined to make me pay. He just couldn't figure out how. My smarts pissed him off and turned him on at the same time.

Anyhow.

I'm in love with both. But I've only ever argued with Viggo once and I don't think you could really call it an argument. It was more like gentle laughter. I can turn to him at all times. When I want help, not criticism or a headache, I can count on Viggo. He is the constant calm in the storm if this Last Battle, and an un-ending ember of burning passion that never, ever goes out.

But Chris Hemsworth and I? Well. I did literally kill him last March. So. There's that.

UPDATE:

Oh my God. The book is about Chris Hemsworth and I! Viggo just recommended the book!!! How was I supposed to know ? I never thought anyone would recommend a book that wasn't about themselves in a past life. No one else has!!!

But I should have known. Viggo is different. He just wanted me to read somethjng that would make me feel better. And it really did it. Prince Charming was an amazing book.

But now I have to listen to it all over again! Because I thought it was about Viggo! And it wasn't! It was about Chris Hemsworth!!!

Aaaaarrrgghhh!!! It's a long book!

[lanternburning19]

Starting the era off with Love Story. The music video was literally filmed in a castle and princess ball gown dress and she did that for the first live performance of the era. Then White Horse, another song with fairytale imagery. The prince charming speech during tour. She turned the stage into a castle every night during tour. The album dedication saying "you have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after". And ending the era with Today Was A Fairytale. And all for you to say Fearless is not the fairytale album. Get out of here.

[plantsjustwannahavefun]

At this point it's very obvious to me that this particular type of Ed stans don't actually give a fuck about any other character.

Ever noticed how they never seem to even mention any other character? Their entire discourse about the show is just pitting Ed against Izzy. Sometimes Stede comes up, but more as a prize for Ed and key to his happiness, not as his own character. Whenever they're defending Ed's Kraken era, their only justification is that Izzy deserved it, absolutely no thought to the rest of the crew who literally got PTSD from it. They keep accusing Izzy of being racist but never seen any of them draw attention to all those moments of Stede being oblivious and thoughtless to the crew due to his privilege (something very intentional because Stede was meant to be flawed, not perfect, and definitely a bit obtuse sometimes). They're definitely the same people I've seen who admitted they actually hated the first three episodes of S1 and only suffered through them because they knew Blackbeard was going to show up and that's when they finally liked it. Imagine watching OFMD and not being able to appreciate the found family aspect which was such a fundamental part of the show.

Not to gatekeep cause, sure, people have the right to watch a show for whatever reason they want, but I can't help but feel like they're only experiencing a stunted, fairytale-ified version of the show. Where Ed is basically Cinderella and Stede is his Prince Charming, and Izzy is the evil stepmother and the rest of the crew are just the little birdies and mice - cute and useful sometimes but not important.

ok I gotta be real, I've hated a bit of analysis I've been seeing going around lately that's basically "izzy is not a full character in his own right because he's not a protagonist, and he only exists to further ed and stede's character development." basically, taking this guy and treating him as if he's a plot device. as if he's not real. the show is the relationship. stede and ed are the protagonists. but that doesn't mean they're the only real things in this universe.

because like, be honest guys. would you apply this line of thinking to any of the other major deuteragonists? does jim's plotline about coming out and being themself only exist to further/parallel/highlight stede's own journey into becoming his true self? does lucius only exist to be a son figure to stede? does lucius/pete only exist to be a parrellel to ed/stede and show off a healthier relationship at sea? does fang only exist to be a sort of older-brother figure to ed? does olu only exist to contrast stede's type of leadership with a more calm levelheadedness? does zheng only exist to contrast ed and stede as captains? does frenchie only exist to contrast ed?

no! I'm sorry, but I think all those arguments are dumb as shit. we all agree jim, olu, lucius, pete, frenchie, fang, zheng, and even all of the more minor deuteragonists, get to be people in their own right in the show. they don't just exist for stede and ed. they have their own internal lives, their own motivations. when stede and ed leave the room, they don't just turn off. why is izzy different?

yes, I know, izzy's central relationship in the show is with ed. I'm not saying izzy isn't involved in ed's character journey lmao, like, obviously, he is. meanwhile, jim and olu have each other, and zheng and archie, lucius and pete have each other (and to a certain extent, fang), and frenchie has a lot of other stuff going on. but even then, it feels so disingenuous to apply the line of thinking: "this character is not a protagonist so I don't have to treat them with the level of personhood of a protagonist" to just this one guy. it's hypocritical. it just feels like an angry, basic response to how the canyon treats him as a protagonist on the level of stede and ed.

izzy is a father figure, a jilted bride, a complicated nightmare. his relationship to ed is important, and his affect on ed is important too. like, obviously. I love canon edizzy. it's juicy as all fuck. but like, idk, treating izzy like he just zapped into the world one day, about 10 years before the show, with a duty from God to hurt ed for 10 years and then get a bit better and die, while none of the other side characters are treated like that's true, just feels like a major overcorrection from how the canyon treats him, and I don't like it. either everyone else in this universe is real and don't exist just for ed and stede, or no one else is real, and they're all just puppets for ed and stede to bounce off of. you don't get to just decide this 1 guy is special because you don't like him or whatever.

(this post is not for izzy apologists ✌️and/or people who think ed abused izzy)

[torchstelechos]

Literally one of the best Binghe POV characterizations is when hes written like a female lead from a Victorian era romance novel that has been bewitched by the most charming prince of all that is rumored to be kind behind the jerk personality, its truly one of the most characterizations ever for him. Gotta love his POV, its bonkers and totally unreliable 

[charmixpower]

Quick question: what would be a perfect alternative Winx x Specialist pairings in your honest opinion? Like, if Bloom didn't date Sky, Stella didn't date Brandon, Flora didn't date Helia (I mean, she would be with Mirta, but the show's heteronormativity says "Fuck you" to us), Musa didn't date Riven, Tecna didn't date Timmy, Aisha didn't date Nabu/Roy/Nex.

Boyfriend swap???

Okay then XD

Bloom:

I've begun my "I don't care for Bloom/Sky" era except I love Sky unlike most people who believe this. He's literally a wet cat of a man. Bloom's and Sky's relationship is based on Bloom wanting the prince charming of her dreams, and Sky wanting to be normal by being with someone nomral. Both of these things are very much not true and are pretty unrealistic of them.

Bloom/Brandon

Brandon is the only one of the guys that would be able to roll with the insane shit that Bloom is ALWAYS caught up in without missing a beat. That's it, that's the only reason. No hesitation, no surprise, simple acceptance.

Stella:

I cannot believe you're making me break up Brella I will NEVER forgive you for this /joke

Stella/Helia

Why? Helia is the only person Brandon has ever considered a threat to his relationship, and I think that's funny as hell. Helia's commitment to the bit and acting utterly insane (see: holding off a monster only for Flora and letting the other Winx die ig, throwing someone through a table) would match Stella's ultra dramatic energy perfectly. Stella starts a bit and Helia acts like it's her last dying will and testament. Also, Helia seems to not trust himself as a part of a team (esp in the comics) and Stella's Stella ness would drag him out to hang out with everyone more often in s2 helping with that. On the other side Helia would barely care about Stella's looks, like they'd probably dating after Stella drops her "cute blonde ditz" mask, so he'd inform her of how much he likes her real personality so often

Stella/Timmy

I think it would be cute. Stella keeps him in her purse and she thinks he's so adorable. Timmy is being lavished with attention and he will try his best to let Stella know she's the best person he's ever met

Flora:

I genuinely forget that in canon Flora and Helia are supposed to be together. Mirta my beloved disaster lesbian

Flora/Riven

I have too many shippers of these two following me to not see the appeal. I have read the essays and I am convinced they could be EXTREMELY cute. Riven helps Flora be more assertive and not exclusively do things for others, and Flora helps Riven connect with his emotions and other people. Adorable

Tecna:

I don't ship Tecna's aroace ass with Timmy in the first place, or anyone for that matter so this is gonna be difficult

Tecna/Nabu

She'd eat everyone alive. He's the only non Timmy person who'd survive

Musa:

Despite Rivusa being my otp, breaking it up is a lesser crime than breaking up Brella who are soulmates. You still will not be forgiven for your transgressions /joke

..... Uh

Uhhhhh

UHHHHHHHH

okay, so, Musa has like, so many problems. Specifically relating to relationships, and tbh she needs someone who can understand her. Someone who understands why she's so clingy and can go hot and cold bc they're the same way and having a relationship is very hard when your mentally ill

Musa/Timmy

But only s1 Timmy who told Riven and Sky to shut the fuck up. I feel like he's the right balance of kind and willing to push back on Musa getting codependent or having a mood swing on him without being intimidated (and Brandon would feel trapped in this kind of dynamic)

Aisha:

IN MY AU ANNE IS A SPECIALIST SO CAN I SAY ANNE???? No? Rip

Aisha/Sky

Personally I think it's funny and they'd balance each other out and have similar focus on the mission priorities. Also Aisha starts off in my thing finding Sky super annoying for Diaspro related reasons but they have similar childhoods and reacted in almost opposite ways and I feel that that's a neat dynamic

[jackasstm]

I have no idea when would this event occur in Jack’s main timeline or how would that happen, but I am extremely tempted to have Jack be adopted by the entities who are based on the archetypal “Prince Charming” and “Damsel in Distress”, like how Jack is based on the archetypal trickster.

[justme-free]

Hello, Miss @minijenn, So I created this mini kingdom hearts comic sketch/storyboard. It's not done and I'll have a little explanation and +maybe a follow-up sketch? If anyone would like that...

But for the sake of having 20 million KH projects since the "go ahead" and the fear of never posting not even one I thought it would be nice for you to see some of these sketches, especially this comic one I made.

I don't think you understand Ms. Jen how much you inspired and motivated me within the few months.

I have a deep love for your story Keys and in the many years of reading I believe it is not only the best and only best series within the KH fanfiction/archive of our own readings but the best one ever written (Plus art! never forget the awesome art!)

So, I hope you enjoy it!

So... this might be a little confusing... but I can explain!

So for the comic here is a simplified version of it if you don't want to read too much.

Sora becomes the puppet and pawn of Malfeincent and Master X. and gets merged with Vanitas.

He has amnesia and follows their orders.

Kairi and Riku had been looking for his world after world but lost the charms that Kairi made them.

Sora who had been watching them decides to make an appearance by maleficent orders to take them down.

Sora gets a sudden headache at his familiar name as he was renamed The prince of Darkness or 'prince' or 'my prince'

His thrill and craving for violence and fight (on Vanita's part) fight Riku

-o-

And that's it... but if you want a follow-up for this, I'll try and see if I have time. I didn't want to be creepy or anything but ironically enough I had also moved to a new apartment and went on a vacation and now I am bedridden and locked in my room for fear of mosquitos that have literally bitten every inch of my body.

since I can't rant this to many people I'll just say the good and bad news about the move.

The good news is I had moved into a 100+ yr old victorian old apartment.

The bad news is I had moved into a 100+yr old victorian era old apartment...

It's disgusting and I hate it because it needs a lot of heavy repairs and guess who has to clean up a lot of some really disgusting things?

you guessed it! ME!

I am giving a warning to anyone who even thinks of coming to Egypt for a vacation.. this place is a literal hell.

If you want to go to hell come to Egypt.

-o-

Hers's a longer explanation of my thoughts if you would like to read it:

So this has a lot of Keys influence in it as well as other KH lore and my Ideas.

So... what if somewhere along with the plot of keys (and this would be if Maleficent had been still alive) Sora is at his weakest... His darkened heart was just a flick away at completely fragmenting. Vanitas appears in front of the argument about who keeps Sora. Master X. as his vessel or Maleficent as her pet. Vanitas is angry at both choices and more pissed off at Sora for being weak and stabs Sora with his Keyblade.

Now, Vanitas at this moment holds a lot more light than Sora but a great portion of darkness as well and they strangely fit in harmony and they merge. But they don't quite forge the X-Blade... although their bodies had synchronized perfectly their minds definitely were not.

Sora's mind becomes lost, fragmented, and broken. A broken record between now, then, and futurewise.

Vanitas tries to rein in Sora's mind, tries to shake him out of this stupor he was in but to no avail.

Between the screaming, self-pity, anagizing of Soras display Vanitas makes the heavy choice of taking the lead of their bodies.

But because a large majority of control comes from sora Vanitas focuses primarily on suppressing Sora all the way down within their mind and heart, sealing the boy safe and tucked.

Doing so, a large portion of Vanitas's mind gets stuck with that task and hence he has quite a bit of Amnesia but he keeps a lot of his personality but a lot of features of our current sora from keys plus some added features.

Maleficent and Master X. meet at a compromise after finding out that sora/vanitas conveniently has amnesia. Using it to their advantage and other influence Sora/Vanitas become the ultimate Heartless Vessel.

The horns and tail claimed. plus green eyes by maleficent.

The Dark purple skin of darkness and Yellow eyes of Master X.

The small Red part in his eyes represents Vanitas plus a lot of his personality is influenced by Sora's body and actions.

also, Maleficent has so much influence on Sora that he thinks of her as his 'original' mother figure and 'fixes' the cracks of Sora's keyblade with her poisonous vines.

So now, once again... Sora is Maleficent's servant and Master X's puppet... He stands as the face of darkness... A prince if you will... the prince of darkness...and destruction.

[yorkesteins]

girl what is the nealmara thing

OKAY LMAOOOOOOOO so i think i wrote this during that Era of Discourse where people decided neal was actually the one treating tamara poorly by proposing he was still in love with emma and didn't get that you can have feelings for multiple people at once bc complex feelings?? so i'm pretty sure this was a OBVIOUSLY he's in love with emma but he genuinely believes he has feelings for tamara too. but literally all of have written of this is. about emma. lmfao.

Of course he still has feelings for Emma. He’s always had feelings for Emma. It’s part of him now, settled into the geography of Neal Cassidy, right between “I’m the son of the Dark One” and “sometimes I snore.” But it’s eleven years past mattering, eleven years past meaning anything. He’s doing okay, and Emma’s good, and that’s honestly more than he could have ever hoped for.

He’d known the night he met her, the second he saw the longing in her face at the mention of home-- he’d do anything to show her what it felt like. He’d known somewhere in the middle of his conversation with August that night, the dread of realization settling down in the center of his righteous anger--showing her home would mean he’d never be her home. And he’d known the second Prince Charming leveled him with a suspicious glare that could only come from a protective father-- he’d done his job. And that was enough. 

And their son--well. Henry is so far beyond anything he could have ever hoped.

[deanmarywinchester]

definitive ranking of Tortall love interests

oh boy. i loved the Tortall books as a kid and i am having a blast on my reread, but one thing that I almost uniformly dislike about them is their romance plots. it’s the rare Tortall love interest who isn’t creepy in some way, much older than the protagonist, or just plain boring. so to go along with my ranking, each dude will get a ranking on a Creep Scale (0-10, with 0 being a normal nice dude and 10 being a huge creep), and an Interest Index (10 being extremely charming and interesting and 0 being more boring than a rock). without further ado, the ranking:

8: liam ironarm: just, the Absolute bottom of the barrel. I can only assume he must have been extremely hot and an extremely good fighter for alanna to be even remotely interested in getting past his condescension and infantilization toward her. dude, she’s the lioness, not your “kitten.” ugh. Creep Scale: 9. Interest Index: 8 (he is the Shang Dragon)

7: numair salmalin: the duality of man: charming, intelligent, an unmatched mage, based on Jeff Goldblum, probably slept with the emperor of carthak--but also thought it was cool to date his teenage student when he was literally twice her age. gross! someone on this site once said “it wasn’t his fault, he’s a victim of tammy’s teacher kink” and i haven't stopped thinking about it since. Creep Scale: STRONG 10. Interest Index: also 10. duality of man indeed.

6: cleon of kennan: now, here’s the thing. there’s nothing WRONG with cleon. he’s nice, he’s a good knight, whatever. but from a narrative perspective, he’s just so extremely dull. on the other hand, I guess that makes him the perfect dude for kel to imprint on before she realizes romance isn't for her. Creep Scale: 0. Interest Index: 3.

5: jonathan of conte: hm. jonathan is so hard to rank because he’s a solid friend when he’s not having his WWRLaM-era breakdown, but honestly I don’t think he’s ever a good love interest. he can’t wrap his head around the fact that alanna is both alanna his girlfriend AND alan his comrade, and seems to treat her like two different people depending on whether she’s in battle or in his bed. Creep Scale: 5 for the WWRLaM-era breakdown and being a colonizer (er, excuse me, Voice). Interest Index: 9 for being a prince and a good friend

4: dale rowan: if you’re going to have a first fling, you could do a lot worse than dale. he’s funny, he’s charming, he’s upfront about the fact that this won’t be a serious relationship, but he's loyal as long as he’s with you. a solid dude and canonically good in bed. Creep Scale: 0. Interest Index: 7.

3: george cooper: a roguish thief character who’s still an almost weirdly honorable man? immediately imprints on “alan” and jon and vows to protect them? encourages alanna to be nothing less than herself? grows up to be a good dad? near perfection. 12-year-old me was smitten. Creep Scale: 3.5 for the age gap. Interest Index: 10.

2: nawat crow: pros: is literally a crow spirit. cons: is literally a crow spirit. pretty cool, pretty weird, and he definitely treats Aly right. top marks. Creep Scale: 1, but only because crows don’t know about things like human boundaries so it took him a hot sec to be normal. Interest Index: 9 (he’s a crow spirit!)

1: farmer cooper: [griffin mcelroy voice] now THERE’S a boy I can get into. himbo-passing by choice but funny, smart, and a great self-taught embroidery mage by nature, farmer cooper is hands down the best Tortall love interest. he respects beka, he braids her hair for her, he took her name when they married, he kissed her for the first time in a dungeon while they faced death--what more could you want? Creep Scale: -100. Interest Index: 9.

[rein-ette]

Are you still working on your Commonwealth study? Do you have any thoughts on Arthur's relationships with his colonies apart from Canzuk + US?

Not properly, unfortunately with exams and then work I haven’t had mental/emotional capacity to do real research (and probably won’t for a while 😔). But I have continued to think about and develop certain relationships, and I think I also have old hcs I’ve never shared, so I’ll put those down!

Born into the Empire

Australia

@oumaheroes has already done such great hcs on him idk what I can add, but basically he was a little bit of a rowdy child, always breaking windows and shattering fancy pots, never able to sit still. I think rainbow once mentioned that Ken (short for Kenneth, my name for Aus) was a lot like England as a child in his curiosity and energy, and I wholeheartedly agree. But I think Arthur’s intensity was more inwardly directed, pushing him to pursue and master new talents and learn whatever he could, while Australia is a little more carefree in his love for the outdoors, exploring, jumping around and off things, little wild animals. Unfortunately for him, he was born in a period of the empire when Arthur was very serious about his kids education, and therefore often praised those who studied hard and learned fast, which really just wasn’t Australia’s cup of tea. Australia took this kinda hard and thought he was the “dumb” one in the family that Arthur was always scolding, but in reality Arthur knew and appreciated that Australias interests lay elsewhere — he was just a frustrated, tired, parent who really wanted to give his kids the best while also holding his empire together, two goals that were never going to fit well in the end and would completely exhaust him.

As Australia’s grown older he’s realized a bit of this (not entirely, though) and also that 1) he really did break a lot expensive things and cause general mayhem 2) scolding us Arthur’s way of showing he cares, if he didn’t he wouldn’t have payed attention to him at all 3) despite being a penal colony, he was still one of Arthur’s more “legitimate” children (being white and a boy) and was therefore still incredibly privileged — never having to question, for example, why it was that Arthur was his dad, if it should be this way, or if he had a seat at the family table at all (more on this later).

New Zealand

Zee, from birth, was a clear favourite. Obedient, calm, quietly intelligent, he would also later develop a blistering sense of humour which combined with his appearance made it overwhelmingly clear who’s child he was. If Ken questioned his place in the family because of his poor academic record and others did because of their appearance/race/other complications, Kaelan never had such problems; his siblings called him the “prince.” Zee, however, also had a charm that, like Matthew, endeared him to his siblings and mostly protected him from jealousy, though he certainly still had issues with being called a try hard, daddy’s boy, bossy, arrogant. Certainly as a child Zee was a little prideful and, under that unperturbed demeanour, willful, but he grew out of it by the 20th century and became one of those most trusted by Arthur, second only to Matthew. He’s also always been inseparable from his brother Australia despite their differences, and today they both have one of the healthiest and most amicable relationships with Arthur of any nation, let alone former colonies (family road trips, every summer).

Bermuda

I absolute fell in love with this girl after reading about here, once, in this fic by @shachaai, and after that my mind just ran away with me. For me, her human name given to her by Arthur just has to be Ariel — for the little mermaid reference, yes, symbolizing her connection to the sea and stunning good looks, but also because:

1. Ariel is a biblical name, meaning lion of God. This makes sense to me, because Bermuda began as a Portuguese trade post, so Arthur definitely consulted our resident bad catholic Port before naming her.

2. Ariel used to be boys name. This also makes sense, because I hc Bermuda was and still is a tomboy. Bitch is fierce, takes no prisoners, and has zero filter. Her letters to Arthur, which all the colonies sent so Arthur could keep an eye on things, were full of shit like “I swear to god if the Spanish don’t get out of my waters I might eat one of them,” and “father, I asked you for destroyers two months ago, and yet you sent them to Hong Kong — could you explain this most unusual occurrence, surely it’s not that you forgot”, and “thank you for the harpoon on my birthday, I caught a small shark a couple days ago and have sent you some of its teeth for your collection.” Arthur tolerates this attitude because he’s weak when it comes to girls; he absolutely spoils his daughters (and flushes like a 16 year old when a woman so much as bats her eyelashes at him). Yes, p*ssywhipped Arthur is a hill I will die on.

3. It also suits her because? Ariel? Shakespeare? The Tempest? Bermuda Triangle? Shipwrecks? Daughter-like figure of powerful and vengeful sorcerer? Yeah. And this girl is a fire spirit — she is so lively, snarky, clever. As she’s grown older she’s mellowed out a little, but still: a no shit taken, no fucks given type of gal.

4. Speaking of growing up, she’s also become quite the beauty. Shacha, if I’m remembering correctly, described her as dark skinned, wavy-haired, and green eyed and that image has been burned onto the back of my eyelids ever since. Those Iberian genetics really be pulling through for her, that’s for sure. Engport love child if I’ve ever seen one. Definitely one of the prettiest in her family.

Singapore

I’ve already mentioned this to needcake, but I’m not too big a fan of canon Singapore, so this is my oc version. Singapore is fascinating to me because it had only a very small local population before it became a colony (The original settlement had actually been destroyed by the Portuguese about two centuries before the British started building a port there.) So nation-tans like Singapore and Bermuda really are Arthur’s children in the most direct sense of the word. And yet, Singapore is mostly ethnically Chinese, with Malays being the second largest group. Growing up Asian in a white, Victorian era family surely cannot have been easy and more than once Singapore probably wondered if there hadn’t been some mistake. To make up for the constant fear that he wasn’t “really” British, Singapore studied ferociously and had a truly terrifying work ethic. I’m not sure if this is common knowledge outside Asian circles, so I’ll mention that this hc comes from the fact Singapore is well known for having truly exceptional students and some of the most prestigious schools. Singaporeans score highly in literally everything and they have an advantage with good English learning environments, a highly desirable trait in Asia, but these results come from brutally long hours — and its really saying something that they’re known for working hard, considering the studying ethic of students in Korea, Japan, and China aint nothing to sneeze at, either. To me this actually fits really well with Singapore’s upbringing in Arthur’s household, because Arthur himself prizes intelligence and hard work above all else, being a workaholic himself.

As for their relationship, it was probably the best when Singapore was young and peaked in the 1930s with the massive naval base the British built at Singapore, at the time the largest dry dock in the world. Singapore was a well-behaved child, not necessarily introverted but not rowdy either, and all the way into his teenage years he truly admired Arthur and was proud to be a part of the British Empire, despite his lingering unease and insecurities. The British defeat in World War II, however, was a massive turning point. He had worked his ass off to be a good son, a good brother, to contribute to the only family and system he had ever known, and he had thought by the 30s he was finally on his way to becoming a fine adult. And suddenly, the British surrender brings his entire world crashing down. He had followed the rules faithfully thinking it was his destiny, but suddenly it was clear that all rules were made up. Of course, his insecurities exploded. If the empire was a ruse, what the hell was he? A part of the illusion? He couldn’t have a truly Asian identity, because many of the old East Asian nations shunned him for his Western upbringing, and he could not entirely understand their values either. So he was a kid who kinda had to figure out late and very very suddenly who the fuck he was and wanted to be.

And, well, he’s done pretty well for himself, hasn’t he. After having a total crisis and questioning everything, I think Singapore slowly started to realize that just because the British Empire as a political entity didn’t last forever, that didn’t mean that his entire childhood and identity weren’t real. The love he gave to his siblings and the love he got back, the hard work he put in, his bond with Arthur and the safe, happy childhood he had — those memories and feelings didnt have to be diminished by what came after. Essentially, he learned the lesson all nations have to learn, which is that one needs to be able to discern between duties as a nation and feelings as a human being, and to some extent keep them separate to protect both.

Whoooooo ok I’ll stop there because this turned into a dissertation, sorry. Let me know if there are any specifics u want me to elaborate on or anything I missed, but I’ll leave this here for today :)

[joisbishmyoga]

Ok, to go with my headcanon about the Hogwarts Founders (to wit: based on etymology, they can't be contemporous), I have headcanons about Hogwarts castle itself.

Number one! It, like the Founders, was ALSO not all contemporous. (And my apologies that I still can't find the goddamn keep-reading option.)

Helga never-actually-Hufflepuff's Hogwarts, c. 990-1090:

The original and oldest part of the school is the tower that now houses the famous moving staircases and the Headmaster's Office. (It wasn't alone, though: it had a number of outbuildings, stables and smithies and such, that have long since vanished.)

The tower was not, at the time, a hollow column full of moving staircases. It was a defensive watchtower akin to Threave Castle in Scotland, though somewhat taller and a little bit larger. It was also not round at the time, which can still be seen in the fact that the interior is square; later generations simply added walls to make it round. There are almost certainly late medieval and Renaissance defenses, as well as secret passages, built into the space between the original tower and the rounding walls.

The tower's long-since-removed floors:

Cellars (wine and cold storage).

Ground floor (entrance, reception, kitchens).

2nd floor, in the American style of count (dining, Helga's room).
3rd floor (classrooms)

4th floor (dorms: divided by gender and class rather than age)

5th floor (servants and defense).

The cellars expanded regularly over the centuries, a new room or corridor or floor built every time the castle's population (or political demands, see below) needed more cold storage.

The conical roof and the modern Headmaster's suite were added at a much later date.

Rowena Hraefenclew's Hogwarts, c. 1050-1150:

The first expansion of the castle was the modern-day Great Hall, though it lacked the enchanted ceiling attributed later to Ravenclaw. The recieving of guests was transferred to this space from the original tower, and the grand entertainments of medieval feasts and banquets were added to school life -- a requirement of any social networking, as Rowena steered the school through the political mess of the era without getting entangled in any of it.

(The enchanted ceiling was a Renaissance creation, adding light to what had been a very dim space. The original enchantment wasn't of the sky, though, and the modern ceiling would appall the people of the 1400s: what is so grand or impressive or artistic about just making the roof invisible?

(Not having a masterpiece of Christian religious art looming over the heads of hundreds -- thousands -- of magicals who'd just lived through zealous persecution, is what. The people who charmed it all invisible considered the frescoes to be quite gauche and impolitic.))

Salazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor's Hogwarts, c. 1150-1250:

The High Middle Ages brought a massive amount of upheaval to England (and France: half of the modern nation was ruled by England at the start of this period), as well as the rest of Europe. This is the era later connected to Robin Hood, the age of the Magna Carta and Richard the Lionheart and Prince (King) John... and that is where we begin, with Richard faffing off to join the (many, many, MANY) Crusades, and King John losing the entirety of the French regions of his rule. Loss of land = loss of wealth --> spikes in taxes and fees on nobles --> furious nobles --> Magna Carta + King John's reputation forever in the toilet + the absentee and therefore not interfering with nobles' power and money King Richard getting lauded as the best king ever (spoiler: he v much was NOT).

Richard's career included internecine rebellions, uprisings, cruelty in what provinces he bothered to rule (in France), and widespread Jewish persecution. (Things that are pretty much always in Europe: Jewish persecution. The Crusades were mostly massive disasters that did very little to Islamic rule and population in the Holy Land, but exterminated some 90% of Jewish Europe on the way. HSST.)

All of this is to say that Salazar and Godric's Hogwarts expanded to accomodate thousands of Jewish, wandering-poor, and magical refugees from the Continent: Hogwarts was still the only formal, centralized school of magic in all of Europe, and would be for several more decades.

The school still didn't reach the modern extent by the end of this building period, but got up to about 50 percent, adding almost everything on one side of the ravine that cuts through the bluff. Except for the clock tower, the Great Hall's half of the school was complete.

This is also when Hogsmeade changed from being a House-Elf farming settlement to a human town, and for the same reason: Continental refugees, largely from the Childrens' Crusade -- thousands of people of all ages, later thought to all be children due to a misunderstanding in language. (The word for "child" was co-opted to mean "the working/wandering poor": basically, "the (socially) powerless".)

The post-Founders' Hogwarts, c. 1250-1900:

The second half of the school, the conical tower rooftops (and rooms inside them), the internal plumbing for baths (but not toilets), and all the bridges -- both the stone ones across the ravine and the wooden one to Hogsmeade -- were all built in a hurry in the late 1500 and early 1600s, this time to handle refugees during the last few decades before the Statute of Secrecy. The modern Headmaster's Office was also built at this time, as high as possible to cover all approaches to Hogwarts.

Unlike the stone bridges of the ravine, the bridge to Hogsmeade has always been made of wood, in order to be easily destroyed should the castle come under attack. (And in fact it actually has been destroyed several times, most recently in the 1970s as a pre-emptive measure against Voldemort. It was then rebuilt in 1982 with more nostalgia than construction skill.)

As mentioned before, this -- the early 1600s -- is when the Great Hall's enchanted fresco ceiling was rendered invisible.

The T-shaped clock wing on the Great Hall's side, being a six-story pendulum-type clock, was built in the early 1800s, and improved in the late 1800s for accuracy and not whacking students around like golf balls. (The restrooms were also added and improved at these times.)

The greenhouses were built around 1900: Dumbledore might well have had Herbology classes before they were put in.

Now then. That is all headcanon #1. Construction headcanon #2:

Hogwarts is in TERRIBLE condition.

The famous enchanted ceiling is perhaps the most obvious damaged spot. Or it would be if it hadn't been charmed invisible. While it had Owl Post holes in it. (For the record, the easiest way to bring down, say, a barn? Chop a 3x3 ft. hole in the roof and wait ten years.) For the last four or five centuries, every time someone on staff noticed they were getting dripped on, they just threw an Impervious Charm up at the ceiling and considered the leak magically fixed. There's literally nothing left but the Impervious charms and a few scraps of gold leaf.

The stairs are another trouble spot. Centuries of people walking on them should have them worn down in the middle to look like you cut a bowl in half vertically. Would have, but the House Elves have been pulling the stone up flat again for centuries, and eventually started using magic to color-match and add enough support to the remaining stone to take people's weight. Some of the well-known trick stairs that like to disappear? That's not the magic being playful. That's the magic of late House Elves fritzing out to show there's no step left. (The moving stairs have also ground down their joints to nothing.)

It's the same across the entire castle. Centuries of manipulating the materials and covering wear with illusions and throwing Impervious Charms at drafts and drips means a lot of Hogwarts is nothing but swiss cheese and fading spells cast by long-deceased magicals anymore.

(Or it was, until the Battle of Hogwarts in 1998 disrupted enough of the remaining spells to drop them. Voldemort's forces were powerful, but not THAT powerful.)

(A large percentage of the two generations following Harry's were saved by the Battle of Hogwarts. Slytherin House was a misaimed hex away from flooding, and most of the towers were going to collapse with a few more winters of ice picking away at the mortar. Of course if the previous several centuries of magicals had just bothered to check...)